#svsss incorrect quotes

[honestlyewww]

Tweaking so hard rn pls i need bingqiu post canon married shenaningans (idk how to spell its 12 am leave me alone) fics please

[inkubuzzz]

Mobei Jun: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a decade now. No response. Shang Qinghua: Wow. They sound stupid. Mobei Jun: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Shang Qinghua: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Mobei Jun: I guess you’re right. Qinghua, I love you. Shang Qinghua: See! Just say that! Mobei Jun: Holy fucking shit. Shang Qinghua: If that flies over their head then, sorry My King, but they're too dumb for you. Mobei Jun: Qinghua.

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu to himself: Luo Binghe is a dangerous violent predator who is not to be trusted

All other cultivators: Luo Binghe is a dangerous violent predator who is not to be trusted

Shen Qingqiu: *hands covering Luo Binghe's ears* HOW DARE YOU! HE'S SENSITIVE!!

[tiredbitchposts]

"Look, i just never understood why in gay sex the bottom is always seen as the gayer one when the top is the one activily fucking a man"

- Shen Qingqiu, at some point

[xi-vz]

Shang Qinghua: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Shen Qingqiu: What's that?

Shang Qinghua: Remorse code.

Shen Qingqiu: I'm even angrier now.

[autumnistic-danmei]

Luo Binghe: What’s it like being tall?

Shang Qinghua: Is it nice? 

Sha Hualing: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? 

Mobei-Jun: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

[inkubuzz-old]

Shang Qinghua: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Mobei Jun: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Shang Qinghua: …

Shang Qinghua: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[inakidoesthings]

shang qinghua : if you keep this up, I'll draw you pregnant

shen qingqiu :

[mxtx-incorrect-quotes]

Shang Qinghua: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Shang Qinghua: My king and Luo Binghe are still mad about it, but me and Cucumber-Bro were drunk and thought it was funny.

[afsosville]

Luo Binghe: Find yourself someone who loves you the way my husband pushes me off a cliff. Without hesitation. With full confidence in your abilities, with the rock-steady belief that your relationship can handle it, and with complete faith that when you come crawling out of the Endless Abyss, assuming you survive, you will totally forgive them for the push. Almost certainly forgive them. Probably.

[naehja]

Kidnapper: we have your lover. Shen Jiu: you have Liu Qingge? Kidnapper: yeah. Shen Jiu: good luck with that. Shen Jiu: By the way, you don't have him. HE has you.

[caesarootham]

In another universe the way that Shen Yuan discovers Shang Qinghua is Airplane is entirely because of pop culture references he manages to convince the other Peak Lords to say.

Yue Qingyuan: thank you for your hard work xiao jui, you're such a thot.

Shen Yuan: *splutters* Sorry, what did you just call me?!!!

Yue Qingyuan: *innocent and oblivious* A thot! Peak Lord Shang said is was a common word meaning thoughtful!

Shen Yuan: *suspicious*

Liu Qingge: *throws a disciple off a cliff during training* YEET

Shen Yuan: Liu Qingge you shouldn't throw your disciples, wait. Did you just say yeet.

Liu Qingge: It's supposed to make them go farther.

Shen Yuan: *suspicious again* Did Peak Lord Shang teach you that?

Liu Qingge: Yes.

Shen Yuan, bursting into Shang Qinghua's study: I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Shang Qinghua, immediately terrified that the scum villain has figured out he's a spy and thinking of 15 different ways to get out of it: It's not what you think!

Shen Yuan: You're a transmigrator!

Shang Qinghua, feeling relieved and also like he lost 10 years of his immortal life: Oh, that. Yeah.

[inkubuzzz]

Shang Qinghua: My back hurts. Mobei Jun, walking into the room: Take your spine out.

[ineffectualdemon]

Luo Binghe: *sigh* You're so lucky Mobei. No one wants to steal your husband. It must be nice to have that piece of mind

Mobei-jun: *watches as across the room Shen Qingqiu smacks a laughing Shang Qinghua on the head with his fan*

Mobei-jun while crushing a cup in his hand: that would be nice. Actually you should go get your husband so no husband stealing happens. Right now.

[undertheredhood]

shen qingqiu (jiu): so what?

the other peak lords: so what?!?!?

shen qingqiu (jiu): so what if my friends work in a brothel? at least they have jobs, at least they’re active in the community. what do you morons do?

[xi-vz]

Shang Qinghua: What are your adjectives?

Shen Qingqiu:…You mean my pronouns?

Shang Qinghua: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?

Shen Qingqiu:…I dunno. What are yours?

Shang Qinghua: Noisy and chaotic!

Shen Qingqiu: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.