#surely nothing bad happens whatsoever and no one gets hurt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jensthwa · 4 months ago

Text

show & tell (SMG x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

You have known Mingi since you both were fourteen. You’ve been by his side through thick and thin and you would do anything for him, really, considering he’s your other half. When he has an unfortunate bed experience and asks for your help and you say yes, he starts considering that, maybe, you’re just the best friend a guy like him can have.

PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.

GENRE: childhood best friends to ?

WORD COUNT: 8k.

WARNINGS: SMUT �� (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit, hwa being the voice of reason, sex talk, pet names (love and also dude and bro but in a sweet way), mingi scaring the sense out of you, descriptions of female anatomy, kissing, dirty talk (sort of), teasing, a little bit of voyeurism, fingering, squirting, almost getting caught, unresolved feelings.

NOTES: had to do a lot of research for this one, so i figured nothing better to post as my first fic here! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: july 18th 2024.

masterlist. / part two.

“Delete her number right now!”

“She's such a bitch for saying that to you…”

“And over text too? Wow.”

“Yeah, no, I didn't like her from the start.”

Wooyoung’s living room comes to life once again that morning, voices echoing and insults flying out, all towards the girl Mingi’s seeing.

Was seeing. You're sure she's out of his usual rotation with the lovely shit show she just caused.

You stay silent, your eyes fixed on your best friend's expression, on his red cheeks and apologetic eyes because everyone told him that girl was bad news.

He should've listened to you when you told him you liked her friend better. She was a sweet girl, clearly had a thing for Mingi.

Unfortunately, Mingi has a type. And that type always ends up breaking his spirit one way or another.

But you stay silent, letting your friends have their little rants about how much of a bitch she is for hurting Mingi's ego like that, until he covers up his face with his hands and lets out a frustrated whine.

“That's enough, everyone. I think he got it.” You smile a little and everyone turns to you, Yunho’s chest heaving and everything but Seonghwa (who also kept his mouth shut all this time) interferes before anyone else has the chance to start again.

“You know you shouldn't feel ashamed for that, right?” he asks Mingi, who slowly lowers his hands to his lap and looks at you for a brief second. You nod, confirming what Hwa says “No one is born knowing everything and she shouldn't expect you to know how to make a girl squirt.”

“Jesus Christ,” Mingi whines again, closing his eyes “Don't say it like that.”

“How else should I say it?” Seonghwa is confused but he laughs a little bit and turns to you.

Being the only girl in the room, you think everyone it's expecting you to pick your friend up and join them in their insults but you can't (for Mingi’s sake). Instead, you let out a sigh “I mean, it's hard to even make it happen on your own without any help, Mingi. I don't know what the fuck she's on but…” shrugging, you extend your arm to pat him in the shoulder two times “Hwa’s right.”

“So you do know?”

“Woo—” Hongjoong reprimands right away and you turn to Wooyoung, confused.

“Huh?”

“You said that it's hard making it happen,” he explains, smiling because he just found a new target for the next few days “So you must know.”

Talking about sex with them was never difficult, it didn't make you uncomfortable whatsoever but you know what Woo is doing.

You look down at Mingi before answering though and his eyes are glued to the carpet, begging for the topic of his unfortunate encounter with that bitch to die on everyone's tongue.

So you take mercy on him.

“Oh. I mean… Yeah.” You shrug once again, leaning back against the cushions on the couch while Wooyoung claps like he just heard the most hilarious joke ever.

“You truly are amazing.”

Rolling your eyes, you get up from your comfy seat “Sure. But it took a lot of practice and the whole ordeal was frustrating for me, so, again, I don't know what the fuck she was on,” you say again, smiling down at Mingi before taking a few steps towards the door “It's noon already, by the way.”

“Shit.” Woo gets up quickly from his spot on the floor and everyone else follows suit.

“Alright, everyone out! We have a midterm to cheat on.” San calls out and everyone takes it as their sign to actually leave (not just hang around the apartment) and continue with their days.

This reunion was a little impromptu, just because Wooyoung texted everyone begging to come over and hang out with him and San before their online philosophy midterm.

“And by that he means that you need to stay,” Wooyoung hugs Seonghwa hard, almost begging him with his eyes “We didn't study… Don't look at me like that! Please?”

“I'm not doing your fucking midterm for you!”

You chuckle, leaning on the door and waiting for your ride home to get his shoes on. When you look down at him again, Mingi mouths a thank you and you blow him a kiss.

When you get downstairs, you swear you still hear Wooyoung begging his senior to take the test for him.

Everyone is quiet in the car. You can tell they're tired from exams and life in general, so you don't press them with questions and just let the music play in the background while you look out the passenger window and, eventually, at Mingi.

His grip on the steering wheel lets you know he's a little more affected than he let on back there. But, again, you say nothing.

You know better than to pressure him into telling you his feelings.

Mingi and you have been friends forever. He lived a few houses down from yours, becoming your first friend when you moved to the city. You both were fourteen when it happened, so you've known him long enough to know what happens when he gets his heart broken.

Not that Mingi loved that girl or anything, but he never really took embarrassment well. He didn't when the first girl he liked rejected him in front of the whole ninth grade class and he didn't when his pants ripped in the middle of the stage while performing a routine with his dance team on senior year.

You stood by his side every single time and every single time he waited to sit down and let everything out, collect his feelings and talk to you through his frustrations. You really loved that about him, because he never said anything he regretted just because he was upset at the moment.

Maybe that's why you two have been friends for so long. Opposites attract, or whatever your mother told you one time.

In reality, you think it's because you two complement each other well.

He knows when to speak his mind and you're kind of impulsive, heart on your sleeve and sharp tongue ready to defend your and your loved ones honor if needed.

That's why it takes a lot of strength for you to not pull up that girl's number from his phone and give her a piece of your mind.

One by one, you drop your friends off in different parts of the city and when it's time to go into your own house, you circle the car and Mingi rolls his window down.

He reads the look you give him a little too well, so he opens his mouth to stop you but you shake your head.

“Call me, come over or just let me know if you need anything,” you start before he says anything “If you need me to beat her up, I can do that too.”

He huffs out a laugh “You don't even know how to fight, love.”

You sigh at the nickname, he's been using it since the time you told him you had a crush on his friend, way bsck in highschool, and that you were positive you were going to get together and he would csll you love because that's what good boyfriend's do.

Turns out, you weren't exactly his friends type. Neither were the other girls in your school.

“I don't give a shit, I'll do it,” You two smile to each other fondly for a few seconds and then you tap the top of the car “Thanks for the ride, dude.”

“You’re welcome, bro.” He rolls his eyes, annoyed because he hates when you call him that, but waits for you to get inside either way.

And in the solitude of your room, you wait.

You distract yourself with papers that are due in a few days, you start studying for your finals even though they're months away and you even go downstairs to say goodbye to your parents when they leave for a fancy dinner with their colleagues before you hear your phone ring.

Mingi's FaceTime comes right on time, because you were getting really anxious from the radio silence on his end.

“I have a small query for you.” He puts on an accent that makes you grimace immediately and he laughs at you.

“Ew. Never do that ever again,” you beg, going back upstairs to your room “Go ahead.”

“How do you do it?”

“Excuse me?”

“How the fuck do you make yourself squirt, love?”

Oh.

Definitely not the conversation you were hoping to have with him.

It caughts off guard and you stammer your response “Um… You— I mean, it's not really a thing I can explain.”

“You have such a way with words, though.”

You stare at him through the screen, annoyed, and he just laughs again “Don't make me come over and beat you up.”

“Alright, alright,” his giggling dies out and you distract yourself from the heat you feel creeping over your cheeks while putting away your statistics prep for the quiz you have next week. There's a bit of silence and then you hear him sigh “I do really want to know, though.”

“If you're asking me this to then go over to her house and prove her wrong, I'm not telling you shit.”

“No! No, that's not it at all,” he defends himself quickly when you turn your head to the camera, scowl in your face “When she asked me to do it, I really did try to make her, you know…”

“You said squirt so freely a minute ago, Mingi,” you tease, smiling, but at his expression, you give in “What exactly did you do?”

“I tried to, you know, do it like they do it in the movies,” he demonstrates his point with his free hand, his middle and ring finger down on his sheets, pressing and moving side to side “And she was enjoying it and she came, but nothing really… came out.”

“Wow, first of all: you make her come and she has the nerve to give you shit over text? I hate her,” you shake your head, disappointment written all over your face “and second of all, that was a terrible mistake.”

“What? Going like this?” He does it again and you roll your eyes, laughing a second later.

“No, dude, trying to porno your way into making her squirt.”

“Oh.” His movements on the sheets slow down and you grimace again.

“Please stop doing that,” you beg and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you through the screen. You take your phone and move to the bed, resting your head against the pillows with a huff.

You ponder for a moment. You're sure telling him what he wants to hear it's not really a threat to your friendship, but it's also something that's very personal and intimate. You can talk about sex with Mingi and the other guys, sure, what doesn't mean you tell them about your sex life.

Maybe that's why Wooyoung was so excited earlier today, because you spilled something that involves you directly and not something vague and general like you usually do.

“Would it give you peace of mind if I explained it to you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper as you sit straight on the bed.

Your best friend takes what feels like a lifetime to respond and, when does, it's in a hushed tone as well “Please.”

You groan and you comply either way, trying to find the right words to even start “Okay, I'm going to be very technical about this.”

“I wouldn't expect anything else from you.”

His teasing tone makes you glare at him for a few seconds before dismissing it with a click of your tongue “The very first thing you need to make sure happens, is that you wash your hands—”

“Yes, Y/N, I'm not a virgin,” he huffs this time, annoyed “I know all of that, just skip to the part where I make her squirt.”

“Jesus, fine! I also want to clarify that this works on me and I'm not really sure if it'll work on anyone else, alright?” he nods and you look away from the screen because you're not sure how to look him in the eyes “The first thing that I do— The first thing that you need to do,” you correct yourself quickly “Is make sure she's comfortable. And I mean, the space. Towels, water bottles… She needs to hydrate a lot.”

“Hydrate… a… lot…” You turn your head to the screen and your jaw goes slack at what you see.

“Are you writing this down?!”

“I’m making sure I don't forget anything!”

“You're unbelievable…” You let out under your breath and take a deep one before resuming the, apparently, class “Squirting can be confused as peeing and—”

“Shit, hold on.” He interrupts and you hear his mom’s voice at the door, asking him something you can't really catch through the shitty airpod audio “It's just Y/N… I'm not really saying anything so I don't understand how I'm being too loud for— Yes ma'am.”

You try not to laugh because he's literally being scolded right in front of you.

Old habits die hard, and Mingi's mom loves to put him on the spot.

Your laugh dies hard as well, because the next words, for some reason, make your heart drop to your ass.

“She's telling me to either cut it out or go to your house, so… I'm coming over.”

“Oh, I— Hello?” Your lockscreen mocks you because the call literally ended before you could tell him to go and fuck himself “Shit.”

You don't know why you panic, but you do. You tidy up the room, you change your pijamas into something more presentable and you try to remember what were you telling him before he pulls open your bedroom door.

“Mingi! Fuck, you scared the shit out of me “ you're panting, hand over your chest.

He’s also panting, like he runned to get to your house, but he looks dumbfounded by your reaction “Your mom literally gave me the spare keys in your presence.”

When he steps closer, you notice he's wearing cologne and that his hair it's a little wet, still, so you figure he took a shower before calling you tonight.

Which means he probably wanted to sleep everything off, like he usually does, but whatever this is made him call you.

“Yeah! But I thought you— Nevermind.” He shrugs and gives your hair a kiss before he moves to sit at your desk, the same way he usually does when he steals your laptop and notes to complete his assignments for the few classes you share.

God. Somehow, you wish he was doing just that so it brings back some sense of normalcy. Maybe then, your heart can calm down enough for you to understand why this specific situation has your senses going insane.

You sit back down on your bed and try to get your heart back to its place in the meantime.

“They're not home, right? I didn't see your dad’s car.”

“Company dinner.”

“Ah.” He nods and you both fall in uncomfortable silence. It shouldn't be awkward, but it kind of is, even if you laugh when he pulls out the notebook he was writing on from underneath his oversized shirt and steals a pen from your pencil case, it's still a little weird.

You gulp.

“So, squirting can be confused as peeing.” He recalls the last thing you said with a smile and then he turns to look at you for a second “Go on.”

You're grateful he's taking notes all of the sudden. He's turned to you, so you have a clear view of his back and you can freely take a grounding breath before continuing “It can make you feel very uncomfortable if you think you're going to pee yourself and that's really why most women don't squirt in the first place.”

“You sound like you're reading a text book.” He confesses with a laugh.

“I told you, I'm being very technical about this— Besides, I did my research when I was trying to…” you gulp again “You know.”

“You said squirt so freely a minute ago.” Mingi teases you the same way you teased him earlier and you squint your eyes in return.

“Very funny. Anyways… Yeah, when you feel that, you usually tense up. You need to relax before even making it happen,” he nods, writing it down quickly “I also read that, depending on the person, you can confuse the liquid with, like, usual… arousal? Yeah, arousal” you sound more confident the second time you say it, unsure on how to call it because you never really explained anything related to your vagina to anyone else.

He turns to you, confused “So… If she doesn't squirt a lot, how can I tell if she did it?”

“I guess you'll notice it in her reaction?” You shrug and then cough a little to try and get rid of the sudden lump on your throat “I mean, it's not my case, so I wouldn't… I wouldn't know that.”

Mingi, because -you guess- hates you, just raises a brow and looks you over one time before turning back to his notes.

“A-anyways,” you cough again “It's all in her g-spot. It happens because it gets stimulated and that g-spot it's like…” you, once again, try to find the ideal words to explain “It's like the upper wall of the vagina? No, no, that's not right,” you see him draw a line over what he clearly wrote down on the paper and you laugh, apologetic “It's more like the, uh… Like the front wall of it.”

“Front wall?”

“Y-yeah?” you offer, nervous and unsure “I mean… Ugh, let me explain again. Something that you need to take into account is that you can only find it if she's really, really turned on.”

“O… kay.”

“Sort of like when you get hard we, uh, also get hard. Just differently,” you notice he's no longer taking notes when you turn to him again and the room is suddenly very hot.

The AC’s on, right?

Fuck.

“And apparently it only really shows up when you're really aroused. The g-spot, I mean,” Quickly, you're up from your bed and walking around it, fetching your water bottle and taking a big gulp of it with your eyes closed.

Mingi clears his throat a second later.

“So it feels hard to the touch or…”

“Not really, um… It kinda feels like a berry.”

He laughs “What?”

“Yeah, it's kind of soft but it has a texture to it too. And we, uh… have this gland that fills up with the liquid— Kind of like a prostate gland! Yeah, that's what that article said,” putting even more distance within Mingi and you, you sit back on the bed, just on the other side “If you try to do it before it fills up, you end up with nothing. That's what frustrated me the whole time I was learning how to do it.”

“You didn't drink enough water?”

“No, no— It fills up when you get really turned on. And when I was trying, I was trying way too hard and didn't, uh… I didn't do a lot of foreplay before trying, s-so.” You nod, finishing the explanation in a softer voice.

Your cheeks feel hot and you swear your upper lip is sweating a bit. Why would you even say that?

“Y-you didn't touch yourself enough or…?”

“Exactly, I didn't, I just… Tried t-to stimulate it. Wasn't even wet enough so I used, uh, lube.”

“Oh… Lube. Sure, okay.” He nods again, and then moves his hand over his face, looking away for a second “And then?”

“I'm not really sure how to… Give me a second.”

What were you even telling him before exposing yourself like that? Before the tension in the room skyrocketed in a suffocating way? You're not sure.

Oh, foreplay. Okay, what's next?

“Fingering,” you say out loud when you remember and at the sudden word Mingi turns to you, eyes wide and you stumble over your words yet again “Y-you need to finger her to stimulate the g-spot, duh.”

“Don't duh me, Y/N, I'm learning!”

“Sorry!”

“Okay! Now what do I do when… fingering.”

That makes you frown. You're not really sure what to tell him next. So you look straight ahead and, unintentionally, move your ring and middle finger the way you do when you're touching yourself.

In the silence of the room, you audibly hear Mingi’s breath hitching and that draws you back to reality.

When you look at him, his eyes are solely focused on your fingers.

“I don't really know how to explain this next part.” You sound apologetic, your lips tensing into a straight line.

A bit passes.

And then another one and another one where Mingi looks at you with a weird, foreign expression on his face.

So you open your mouth to apologize to him, but he beats you to it.

“Then show me.”

You swear you never even heard him sound like that before. Or maybe you have, the tone of voice similar to when he just wakes up, low, grouchy, as if his throat might be dry.

It just never affected you this way.

“W-what?” you blink hard, a few times, trying to focus on whatever the hell is going on.

“Show me how you do it… I-if you want to.”

“Mingi!”

“I just— Look, you don't have to,” he says right away “If you don't want to, you can forget I ever asked but I'm so… curious��, he says, getting up from your desk chair and planting his knee into the bed “And I'm also really butthurt over what happened. I want to learn but I don't really have anyone else to ask.”

“What about, uh… Minseo! Yeah, what about her?” you offer quickly, also getting up.

“San's ex?!”

“I don't know any other woman that you also know, Mingi!”

He gulps and breathes heavily, gathering his words, his thoughts, just like he always does and you remember: This is Mingi. Your Mingi. The Mingi you've known for years and care about more than anything.

“I'm asking you because I trust you,” he says, looking you over once again “And because if I fail, you're not… going to make fun of me for it.”

There it is.

You soften at that and he seems to relax at your reaction. His demeanor lets you know he's not just saying that because he wants to see you touch yourself, he's being honest.

So you decide to be honest, as well. In a whisper, because your voice will tremble and give away how strongly you feel about his request.

“I've never done it in front of anyone before.”

“So no one has ever make you—”

“No,” you confirm before he even gets it out and you sigh “I never ask for it and I haven't really… I've only slept with—”

“Hangyeol.” He nods and scrunches his nose in disgust at the memory of your highschool boyfriend. They never really got along and it was a shame, because Han was a great guy, he just wasn't the one for you.

“Mingi,” you walk over to him and he straightens up his spine “This could really… I mean, there's no getting rid of me on this lifetime, buddy,” reminding him makes him smile and you do as well, nervous, your body on high alert “But this could mess us up.” You finish in a whisper.

“I'm not letting that happen.” He says back, eyes scanning your face before zeroing on your eyes “There's no getting rid of me either, love.”

That nickname is going to be the death of you, you're sure. It makes you suck in air you very much need at this moment.

Fuck it.

“I'll… get the towels, then.” You smile a little even though your cheeks are burning and you feel a little dizzy while holding his gaze, but you don't back down.

Before you move, though, he stops you with his hand holding your waist “I know where they are. Stay here.”

You could literally melt right now. And you know it's a short trip to the downstairs hallway closet from your room, so you make sure you strip your duvet before things get messy.

You should go to the bathroom, too, to clean yourself up a bit before Mingi finds out what you find out when you sit on your bed.

You're so wet.

And it's so fucking embarrassing, because you're not supposed to feel this way for him, for this.

Because, if anything, this is clearly just an educational experience.

And if Mingi’s excited look when he re-enters your bedroom tells you otherwise, you're choosing to ignore it for the clearly educational experience’s sake.

“These will do?”

You take the two mismatched towels and place them on the bed right away, not even looking at him.

“Yep.”

You think he nods but you're not sure, you just caught a glimpse of him moving towards your desk while you pretend to fix the towels in the bed to perfection.

“Okay, so… You need to, uh, be comfy and shit. Drink water, you just did that a few minutes ago…” when you turn to him, he's reading his notes like he's actually about to conduct an experiment and you chuckle before shaking your head “The… The foreplay part should be next, right?”

“Right…” you drag out, biting the inside of your cheek before he looks back at you.

“You look really tense, Y/N,” he deadpans, looking down at his notes again “You need to relax so it can happen, right?”

“You're about to see me touch myself and you think I can relax?”

“Oh,” he frowns, immediately and then blinks a few times to refocus, you think “I'm not the one doing it?”

“Uh… Yes? Later? I thought you wanted to see me first, y-you… You asked me to show you…”

You can feel him think, the gears on his brain twisting and you think he's going to backpedal at any second because he's not really saying anything. Then you see it, the moment the image crosses his mind.

And the next second you have him in front of you, towering over your form and then he's not.

Getting on his knees, he tentatively places a hand on your knee and parts your legs so you can make room for him to touch the end of the mattress with his chest and raise his chin just enough to make you think he's asking you to kiss him.

Oh God, you want to kiss him.

His voice is a sweet murmur when he speaks again “Show me how to get you there, love,” he sounds like he's pleading, like he's begging you to instruct him and your breath catches when he moves his hand up your thigh “What do you like?”

Your mouth moves before you can even think “Kiss me.”

You don't even notice you're leaning forward until his breath fans against your chin and he tilts his head even more so that your noses touch.

“How do you like being kissed?”

You breathe out a laugh, a little annoyed by his constant questioning “Figure it out, Mingi.” And then the last thing you see is his smirk before his mouth presses against yours.

It's not what you expect. If anything, you expected him to take the lead. Han used to do so, all the guys you've ever kissed did it as well. You don't really know why his patience surprises you, but it does and if your heart could race even more, it would.

Because he waits for your guidance, waits for you to grab his shirt and jank him closer, waits for you to sigh against him and then returns the gesture when he feels your fingers move upwards and tangle in his dark hair.

His mouth is complying to yours, his tongue is exploring it and wetting your lips in the process and you've never felt this good with anyone before.

That's something you'll need to unpack later, but your brain disconnects when your best friend lets out a noise the second his hands touch your waist under your shirt and you forget, for a split second, that the point of this is to have you on your back pleasing yourself for him to learn.

Because you want nothing more than to hear him make that noise again.

The kisses grow needy and so do you when he trails a path with his wet lips from your chin to your neck and the next thing you know is that your back is against the towels you laid down before and his mouth is kissing the valley of your breasts over the cotton of your shirt.

You look down and it takes a second for him to feel you staring before he looks up at you “Should we take this off?”

Your voice gives away how gone you are when you reply a simple yes and your shirt is on the floor the next instant.

Now, you're sure this is not the first time Mingi has seen you in your underwear. You both have gone swimming before and he has walked into your room a million times while you're getting ready. You're even sure he's seen you walk out from your bathroom in this specific bra before… But he's staring at you like it's the first time he's been able to trace the way your breasts spill a little bit over the fabric of this old bra you decided to wear today, like it's the first time he's allowed himself to enjoy it.

Like it's the first time he's allowing himself to feel any sort of attraction for you.

“Fuck,” you whisper, shallow breath hitting his cheek when he returns his mouth to your jaw “Let me… Come here.”

You scoot up until your head rests against your pillows and he follows, resting his body weight on his side and chasing your mouth when you turn your face to him.

You should speed this up. There's no way you're not going to feel like shit if tomorrow you wake up and remember you're letting yourself enjoy this more than you should.

There’s no reason for you to lose your breath when his fingertips trace softly the skin under your breasts or for your legs to grant him access so quickly when they reach your belly and bypass every other part of your body before going straight in between them.

And he notices it too.

“I don't know why I asked you so many questions before,” he starts, turning his hand so that he back of it and his nails start caressing the inside of your thighs through your sweatpants “I know what you like. I pay attention to you whenever we're talking about sex with the guys.”

You frown, about to remind him that you never speak directly about your own experiences but he continues his ministrations, giving your other thigh attention “I usually watch you closely in case any of it makes you uncomfortable, but I notice your reactions when they speak about something that you like.”

Oh. Heart on your sleeve, your biggest flaw.

“Like that one time Woo was going on and on about marking and you couldn't stop fidgeting on your seat…” his nose traces your jaw softly before his teeth take the skin underneath it and you gasp just enough to prove him right “Or that time Yunho said he hated teasing because he's an impatient little shit” he chuckles, his index finding the spot next to your mound and going down slowly until his knuckle graces the crevice where your leg and your hip connect “and you defended it until we had to stop you guys from yelling each other over it…”

Your breath shakes and your eyes close at the sensation “Mingi…”

“Am I wrong?”

You shake your head no and you can all but hear him smile when he speaks again.

“Of course I'm not.”

You open your eyes and expect him to look at you the way he does when you're unable to defend yourself against his quips, but he's not. His eyes are following his own actions and his bottom lip is pulled by his teeth when he takes the fabric of your sweatpants and pulls it up, enough to give you some friction where you need it the most.

“Can I take this off?”

“Fuck, y-yes.”

Joining your shirt on the ground, you're left only in your underwear while Mingi is fully clothed and it bothers you out of nowhere.

“You're so wet already…” he observes and you blush, puffing some air and covering your eyes with you hand. He just laughs “That's a good thing, it means that I'm doing okay.”

He's doing more than okay. Damn all the experience he has and the way he reads you so well.

But his sweet tone gives you some clarity and you support your weight on your hand to fix your position on the bed.

“Alright, let's… resume the lesson before my parents get home.”

“They probably won't for now. The company dinners last until like… two in the morning, usually, right?”

“That's when they decide to go out for drinks.”

“Your mom always wants to go out for drinks.”

“Let's not talk about my mom right now!” you beg and he laughs again, making you chuckle alongside him and you're glad he's talking all of this -the kissing, the teasing, the sweet-talk and the wet patch on your underwear- so well.

The awkwardness from before dissipated the moment he got on his knees in front of you and all that followed was this lovely tension you're dying to keep between the two of you forever even though you shouldn't.

“Show me, love,” he pleads and you sigh, his mouth finding your cheek for a quick second, encouraging you “And then you can show me how to make you feel good, too.”

You stare at him for a few seconds “Damn, you're good,” he shakes his head and you smile, getting rid of your underwear and pushing the quick moment of embarrassment being bare with him in the room gives you “Remember that this is what works for me, okay?”

He nods and then props himself up so he can see it better.

You take a second before your fingers dive into your wet folds and, when you do, you gasp at the feeling.

You've never been more wet just for kissing and teasing before. What the fuck.

You do what you usually do when you're alone for a while and try to contain yourself from moaning because Mingi's eyes keep moving from your fingers to your face. Then, you remember you should be talking him through it, as well.

“You see how I'm building it up?” you start, chest heaving and he hums as his reply “I'm not trying to make myself come but I'm kinda just… edging myself a little bit.”

“Edging,” he repeats and then hisses when he sees your thumb pressing into your clit just how you like it, making you sigh heavily “I know all about that, that's good.”

“Y-you do?”

“You'll be surprised,” he smiles, proud of himself.

“Okay,” you continue, taking a deep breath “Then you know about prepping, too,” he nods “So, a finger first…” you say, swallowing hard when your index makes its way into your cavity without much effort.

Dragging back and forth for a minute or so, you're incapable of containing yourself any longer. Air leaves your mouth in pants and your eyes close when you drag the pad of your finger upwards, locating your g-spot with ease because you're used to it.

“And then, two fingers.”

“Mhm.”

“Look at the position of my hand. I read that these two fingers work the best because they're longer than the rest, although…” you look at Mingi's hand over your belly. You didn't even noticed before this that he was touching you, but he is and his thumb is tracing a pattern that both relaxes you and sends shivers down your spine “I'm sure that it won't be a problem for you, huh?”

He sends a cocky smirk your way and you would've smacked him if you weren't so… preoccupied.

Pressing your precious spot and then dragging back and forward, you stop the movements altogether. It felt too good, way more than good and it's a different sensation of what you're used to.

And it's all because of him.

You look at his side profile, his eager eyes commiting to memory what you're doing to yourself, probably taking mental notes now that his notebook is long forgotten over at your desk and…

He deserves this. He deserves to be the one to have this, just tonight.

You hate to leave what feels like it's about to be your best orgasm in the hands of someone who's just learning, yet alone a man.

But Mingi is not just any man.

“Mingi,” you call and his curious eyes leave your heat a second later “your turn.”

“Did you… Did it happen? I didn't see anythi—”

“No,” you interrupt him, your fingers leaving you and you turn to him, your clean hand finding his face “show me what you learned.”

His mouth parts, but you have a newfound confidence and a glint in your eyes that is new, so nothing comes out.

“Prove that bitch wrong.”

That seems to do it.

His eyes go from being confused to spark with determination and want and electricity runs through you again because he seems so relieved he gets to touch you sooner than expected.

Shyness and nervousness buried six feet under, you both smile to each other before you feel him.

His fingers gathering your wetness, his thumb finding your clit with ease and expertise.

“Wettest pussy I've ever touched.” You can tell he's a little lost in the heat of the moment but it's okay. So are you.

Fuck.

It's been way too long since someone else touched you this way, so you all but melt at the circles he draws on your clit. He paid close attention before, because he's touching you just the way you like it.

“That feels so good…”

“Yeah?” he asks, dark eyes finding yours before a particular stroke forces you to close them. And then he gathers enough slick to insert his ring finger inside and you can't help the moan that slips past your lips.

You lift your hand to cover your mouth, but Mingi clicks his tongue in feign disappointment “I want to hear if I'm making you feel good, love. Don't hold back on me just because this is unconventional.”

The worries die altogether with that.

And now that you have free reign to stop containing yourself, you don't know how to stop.

It's not long before his index joins his other finger but he doesn't go for it right away. He fucks you slowly, allowing you to get used to the unfamiliar stretch of his way longer, way thicker digits until they slide in and out with little effort.

His pace picks up after what feels like ages and your hand fists his shirt for the second time tonight, nodding and moaning in encouragement.

“Deeper,” you instruct “curl them upwards and go deeper, you'll feel it then.”

He obeys immediately, his chest heaving and his mouth parting in delight when he finds it. The pad of his finger presses down on it tentatively and your grasp on his shirt hardens.

“Is that it?” you nod and he does it again, which earns another moan “What do I do now?”

Before you completely get lost in the feeling, you decide to drop the step by step bullshit aside and give him the full instruction in hopes that he'll remember it all without fucking up: “What works for me is pressing… Fuck, yeah, just like that a-and then…” you take deep breath “Just a little harder… Yeah, then rub it in a circular motion while maintaining that same pressure… Fuck, Mingi!”

He's a little too good at following instructions, because he touches you like he's been doing this forever and soon you feel the familiar swell, the usual buildup of it all and he's taking you over the age like it's nothing.

You forget how to speak, you forget how to tell him what he needs to do next and so, when you finally explode, you take his wrist and place his two fingers over your clit.

When you move them side by side, he lets out a fascinated giggle but knows exactly what to do.

A second later, your release is coating your thighs and the towels underneath you and you don't register anything else because your ears are ringing.

Did you lose consciousness for a second? It feels like you did.

That was the best fucking orgasm you've ever felt in your entire life.

And when you come back down, you only register the sound of your breathing and plump lips kissing your face, his fingers stopping their pace once he realizes you're done with it.

Opening your eyes, you stare at your popcorn ceiling for a second. Then, you look at Mingi who's already staring at you with a what the fuck just happened expression.

It makes you laugh. Softly at the beginning, post-orgasm bliss takes over but then Mingi laughs too and your whole chest swells with inexplicable pride.

You don't think twice before kissing him again. When you realize you did it, you pull back and blink at him like he didn't make you see stars three seconds ago.

“That was…” his eyes do the thing he usually does. You never notice it until now, but he scans your face so frequently you've grown used to it, but now… It feels different. His teeth nip his bottom lip and he shakes his head before speaking “Come here, love.”

And then he's kissing you again, slow, intimate, beyond the stupid lesson you just taught him.

But you don't mind it one bit.

You sit up, getting on your knees on the bed and basically forcing him to do the same. Ignoring the gross sensation of the wet towel underneath you, you pull him further into you until his chest presses against yours, until his hands roam your body and settle on your waist, securing the embrace.

This time, when you pull away, there's this whole unspoken new thing between you.

“That was…?” you press, smiling a bit, pulling both you and him back to reality.

Right now, with you half naked and his hard-on pressing on your belly, it's not the time to discuss your feelings.

“Possibly the coolest thing I've seen,” he starts, giggling when you roll your eyes “and the hottest thing I've seen, too,” you shrug, dismissing his stare because it's making you feel hot all over your body, again “and I'm really, really grateful you said yes, love.”

The soft tone he uses to say the last bit relaxes you and you nod, deciding it's not the time to tell him you never even came like that on your own.

Instead, you decide to grasp this intimate moment and extend it as much as you can. You can see Mingi is not expecting it when you reach his sweatpants and let your shaky thumb trace the outline of his cock.

Closing his eyes, he lets out a pleased sigh before he grabs you by the back of your neck and rests his forehead against yours.

“This is supposed to be purely educational, Y/N”

“Is that what you want it to be?” you softly ask, pulling your hand away but then his hips buck and chase after your touch, making you smile despite the emotions swelling in your chest “Let me help you… Please…”

“Fuck, don't beg me, love.”

“Don't make me beg, then.”

What the fuck are you even doing?

“Y/N, I—” he stops suddenly and you're too lost in the moment to notice why.

But then the sound of keys and a door closing downstairs scares the fuck out of you and you push Mingi away without thinking it through.

He lands with a thud on your bedroom floor, next to your discarded clothes.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he whispers-shouts, both shocked and offended, but you're getting off your bed and picking up your clothes and the soaked towels so you don't really care about his feelings right now.

“Bathroom. Now.”

You're so blessed for having your bedroom right next to the upstairs bathroom. And so blessed that it is your bathroom and you don't have to share it. You’ll get on your knees and thank your gods afterwards, but right now you can only think one thing.

Don't get caught.

Lord knows you'll never hear the end of it if Mingi walks out of here with a hard-on. Your dad will kill him, your mom will cheer because she loves the idea of you and Mingi together and you'll probably pack your bags and move away if it happens.

When you lock the door behind you and make a quick show of putting your underwear and pants back on, you hear Mingi chuckle.

“We can always tell them we're having a sleepover, Y/N, you didn't have to karate kick me off the damn bed!”

“Hush!” But he just keeps giggling at your very obvious flustered state.

You're about to rip him a new one when he takes two strides, backs you against the bathroom sink, and catches your lips in a quick, sweet kiss and all your worries dissolve just like that.

“Guess they didn't go for drinks after all..”

“You think?” cocking your head to side, the smile on your lips can't be fought at this point.

He returns it and leans in for another kiss, longer this time and you sigh against his mouth before pulling away because you really, really shouldn't be doing this right now.

You hear your mother calling your name and then footsteps up the stairs. A murmured she must be sleeping and a hum from your father before they pass the bathroom door. You truly only relax when you hear their door closing at the end of the hallway.

“Okay, we're safe now.”

“When were we ever not safe?”

“When I was half naked on my bed, Mingi!”

He shakes his head with a smile and takes a step back.

You clear your throat.

“I really did want to help you out but—”

“Raincheck?” he asks and at you hesitation to say yes, he continues “If you want to. If you don't, it's okay. We… We'll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay.”

He smiles again “Good, uh…”

Mingi seems unsure on what to do next. Feeling the same, you decide the best thing to do is to get him out of here.

Opening the bathroom door, you carefully peek into the hallway, taking his hand in yours and beckoning him to follow you down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible.

“Shit, your shoes…” you whisper.

“I don't think they noticed if they didn't barge into the bedroom to check on us like they usually do, love.” He returns, in the same tone.

That does nothing to ease your mind, but he makes sure to put them on quickly and then grabs your shoulders, shaking you in a teasing manner.

“Quit worrying, Y/N. I can feel you thinking.”

Of course he does. There's no one, in this world, that knows you better than him.

It makes your heart flutter and it shouldn't. But you're getting on your tippy toes and stealing a parting kiss before you think about it too much.

It's irresponsible for you to do so, but Mingi grabs your waist and extends the duration of the kiss and suddenly you don't give a fuck about your parents or anyone else finding out about this… shift in your dynamic.

“See you tomorrow?” he asks against your lips and you nod.

“See you tomorrow.”

And with that, he leaves.

You lock the door and practically run to your room after.

What the fuck have you done?

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and since it’s an open ending (sort of), let me know if you want a second part!

#ateez #ateez x reader #song mingi #song mingi x reader #mingi #mingi x reader #mingi smut #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez hard hours #mingi hard hours #mingi hard thoughts #first post!!!#pls tell me if u like it or if u dont or anything pls my askbox is open #<333 #fic; s&t

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wonijinjin · 10 months ago

Text

in sickness and in health

author’s note: please take care of yourselves everyone! being sick is not fun. dedicating this to my dear @babyleostuff <3

synopsis: when you get food poisoning cheol is ready to sacrifice his night to take care of you.

word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairing: cheol x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of throwing up, being sick, fever, exhaustion, bad mental health

it was around 12am when you realised something was wrong; you never really got sick, but you could feel it coming before it even happened; head pounding and shivers crawling up and down your spine, making you anxious. after a bit of panicking about why you felt this bad you calmed yourself down and went back to scrolling through social media on your phone, scared of waking and troubling the man next to you. seungcheol was already asleep by that time, being extremely tired from working since 3am, having been to several music show recordings and dance practices. you found him so peaceful as he slept and you were so glad to see him rest after many days of hard work. however as the minutes went by while looking at your phone you could sense an increasing nauseating feeling in your stomach, not being able to focus on the blogpost you were reading anymore, being too occupied with trying to make it stop and squirming under the blankets of your cozy king sized bed to make it more bearable. as if on cue to the peak of your struggles cheol stirred in his sleep next to your helpessly thrashing form, turning to you, his sleepy frame trying to process the cause of your distress. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “don’t worry, nothing. go back to sleep.” you tried to sound as convincing as you could. he didn’t buy it. “love, i know something is up. tell me, please?” he begged, more alert when he saw how your protests were interrupted by a weak sob. “i think i am gonna throw up cheol.” you mumbled with a terrified look on your face, trying to stay perfectly still so your upset stomach could get some relief. seungcheol first thought that you were trying to pull a prank on him since you never got sick, but when he looked at your features closer he realised how pale you looked, and how sweat was glistening on your skin. “you sure? like right now?” he sat up in no time as the question left his mouth, ready to take you to the bathroom to let out whatever was making you feel so miserable. you didn’t have time to answer him whatsoever as you bolted towards the mentioned room, getting to the toilet just in time for the agonising pain and suffering of the next few hours to begin. in your hurry you had a hopeless attempt to lock the door in order to shut cheol out; you hated if he saw you in any other state than your most perfect one, if he saw your imperfections, how you felt unwell sometimes or how you struggled with life from time to time. he always scolded you for thinking this way, but you couldn’t stop it; you wanted to be his strong partner, someone who he could rely on whenever he needed to. “i am coming in.” you heard him say and suddenly you felt a warm hand on your back and another one taking your hair out of your sweaty face, snapping you out of your feverish daze. “i am here, you are okay, love. breathe for me please. that’s it, good. let it all out. don’t worry i am here.” you could hear cheol’s voice through your eardums, blood pumping in your veins with much more speed than ever. seungcheol held you close to him as you spat in the bowl one last time, making sure you were really done before placing you on his lap, your knees no longer hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom, only feeling his warmth surrounding you. “my poor baby.” his voice was low and hurt while he kissed your forehead, frowning upon sensing how your skin burned under his touch. “you are burning up. you definitely have a fever my dear.“ he announced, but you could barely register his voice and words; you were utterly drained, barely able to keep your head up straight.

cheol of course took note of this, gently guiding you to lean into him even more while he got comfortable on the floor, cradling you into his chest. “i know you don’t feel good my love. do you know how did this happen?” he wondered with concern laced in his words. you slightly shifted in his arms, looking up at him. “i think i might have food poisoning, cheol.” he cooed at you, kissing the top of your head, rocking you from side to side as you whimpered in pain. “it’s okay love. it will be over soon i promise.” he chanted softly in an attempt to calm you down as exhaustion took over you, the high temperature making you shake with chills no matter how close seungcheol kept your body to his. “love, you with me?” he questioned after a few minutes of silence, but didn’t get a reply; you fell asleep fast, totally knocked out from the sudden wave of late night sickness. he was relieved to see that your immune system was trying to get that much needed sleep to heal, although he was concerned about the effects of not taking medication before your slumber; he didn’t have the heart to wake you so he let you rest anyways.

he never stopped holding you through the night, not even when he moved you to the bedroom and got a cold towel to put on your head, moving a trash can beside your bed just in case, or when he stayed up all night to watch over your distressed form, wishing that you would get better by the morning, kissing your cheek from time to time to let you know that he was there, that he was gonna take care of you no matter what.

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verysanebsdfan · 5 months ago

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HIIII!!

So I'm not sure if you still write for killua or ciel or tokito😭 but if you do could you do some headcanoes of how they would be with a reader fem If possible that basically acts like a doll looks like a doll and basically is a doll but where also kinda creepy like we talk about disturbing things all with a smile on our face

Another one with all 3 is that reader is very VERY clingy like she loves to hug, cling,and talk to the 3 she's always around them and usually talks to them and is always seen with them !!

(sorry if it's to many)

HII!!

It is no problem whatsoever>_< TY SM FOR REQUESTING AS WELL! i hope it will be to your liking :3

Also i still do write for them but i dont think i will do for too long :(( im getting old...(for them)

tw: u say disturbing things, gore mentioned (sorta i think?), Muichiro one is angsty because i felt evil, spoilers for demon slayer manga ahead!!

our!Ciel Phantomhive, Tokito Muichiro, Killua Zoldyck (separate) x doll-like!reader

Ciel Phantomhive:

One thing would be the engagement with Lizzy, so for the sake of this, lets say it was canceled for....reasons

Neither of you really remember how you exactly met and got close, or what got Ciel so captivated. It may be the way you dress, always in a pretty dress, which contrasts with your beautiful skin, or maybe the way you walk, talk...he is just down bad.

After you got closer, Ciel let you be more clingy, but when he needs space, you need to respect that, or he will have Sebastian take you away (carefully to not hurt you)

After some time, Ciel actually confesses, and you get engaged cuz....it is still 19th century so...

Now, you basically live there and the servants LOVE you. When Finny is doing his work in the garden, and you sit there and have a tea with Ciel, you look like a pretty painting >_< Thats what he says at least (everyone agrees tho)

When you got to know the...darker side of Ciels business, and all the stuff he does as the queens watchdog, well...you revealed your darker side too i guess

Whenever he tells you about all he did, you always say really disturbing things, and not only him, but also Sebastian loves that >_<

"Hmm *head tilt* I think you should have slowly removed his finger nails, toe nails, and then move onto the fingers...keep them alive tho....then peel off their skin and rub salt into it- ah but thats just an idea!! (*✧×✧*)"

(˘ŏ_ŏ) "what did you just say (name)?"

well!!

Once Lizzy came over for whatever reason she had, and dressed you up, telling you that you look like a doll, no! even better!

Now imagine Ciel coming from wherever he was, and seeing you, his beautiful finacé getting dressed up as a doll, while staring into the space.

However you quickly notice him and attempt to kill him- urm hug him and start talking about your day

Overally really good, has his moments but Sebastian always helps him get better so he doesnt hurt you, emotionally i mean. After all, with him by your side, nothing can happen...

Tokito Muichiro:

Being a demon slayer is never easy, but when having someone you love by your side, it seems much easier!

When he met you on one of his missions, he thought you were a demon! There was no way a human can be this pretty, and creepy at the same time.

The way you look...empty, without soul, is really weird. The way you move, almost doll like. Thats it! You're a doll!...No that isnt right...no matter

You slay the demon, and then go eat together, because food is superior.

And then again. and again. again.

Until he developed feelings for you.

He didnt really tell you, but there were signs, you unfortunately never noticed them.

When you hug him, he blushes, and when you talk and yap about your day, he makes sure to keep every detail in mind, so he can write it up later.

He has a WHOLE NOTEBOOK dedicated to facts about you, so he doesnt forget.

His favourite part of his notebook are your quotes.

"Hey...Mui...after we kill Muzan, lets live a quiet life, together, okay?"

*to a demon* "if i didnt need to cut your head quickly, i would torture you, slowly, painfully...and then, id leave you exposed to the sun...so you can have a taste of what normal humans see. And then we will go to eat, right Mui?"

"Muii! This dango matches your eyes! LOOK LOOK!"

Down bad.

(i dont rlly remember this 100% cuz i read it some time ago, srry about that) When the last mission came, and you were fighting in the Infinity Castle, you didnt see himget hurt so bad, however, on command, you were directed to the chamber. You saw a horrific scene, what most concerned you however, was bleeding Muichiro. On the floor. Hurt.

You run up to him and take him in your arms, then start crying, and succesfully breaking your doll look.

"(Name)...please...I- i love you"

Killua Zoldyck:

Okay sooo, you two met at the Hunter Exam, in the first phase lets say

Somehow, you caught his interest, not only you are absolutely gorgeous, but youre also drinking Tonpas juice?! No ordinary girl.

He would observe you during the first phase, seeing the elegant way you run, barely tired...and then, Gon would befriend you, and then Killua! so you would be friends >_< (thank you Gon ily)

You would stick by the main group as in any average killua x reader fanfictions >_<

In the third phase, when it was your turn to fight, it took a real turn.

First, Killua wanted to go fight the big, dangerous looking guy instead of you, but when you refused, he hoped you have some tricks up your sleeve.

"Oh That must be a joke, they sent a little girl against me!" the man would say "how about a death match then?"

uh oh-

"hm...i would love that, but if i were to kill you, i dont think i could stop myself from torturing you, but that would take time, and we've been here for some time...hmmm whatever....I accept!" Ready, set, go! *and he is dead*

Kill is down bad now. What was that?! there was no blood at al, no scream, nothing. Just a loud thud. were you also an assassin?

Who knows.

After that, he knows not to mess with you, and not worry...and also, have you seen how you looked?! Great heavens...

So after a lot of bonding (over choco-robots) you were close...and he liked you, especially after you said his mom is probably a robot becuse WHAT.

You talk shit about his family.

Idk probably confesses before you go to the castle wher Meruem was yk? And brushes it off, i mean, there are worse things happening...

After all the blood shed and pain, and suffering, you meet him and Alluka (my babyyy)

Alluka would 100% love you!! So everything is good...sort of...right? RIGHT? Wrong, his mom doesnt like you but who cares about herrr...

Gon is your biggest shipper :3

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *) - u have choco robots :3?

#killua zoldyck #killua hunter x hunter #hxh killua #killua #killua x reader #muichiro tokito #kny muichiro #muichiro x reader #tokito muichiro #muichiro x reader angst #ciel phantomhive #ciel phantomhive x reader #black butler #kuroshitsuji #hunter x hunter #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #ciel black butler #niko niko writes

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redrose10 · 7 months ago

Text

I’m still working on the next chapter of The Interlude Inn. Things have been crazy lately and I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but thank you for staying with me. In the mean time here’s just something small I had stuck as an idea for a while and wanted to put out there.

Warnings: Angst, Lots of Crying, Breakups, Arguments, eventual fluff

Summary: Who knew that some old yarn and a knitted beanie would be what helps to mend yours and Yoongi’s broken hearts.

Word Count: 2,703

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

You stood back against the door with your arms crossed. “Seriously Yoongi, don’t you have anything to say?”

You glared at your boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend, as he removed his headphones once again.

“What do you want me to say Y/N? You’re unhappy in this relationship and you want to end it so go. I’m not going to get on my hands and knees and beg you to stay.”

You rolled your eyes almost involuntarily. He was kind of right. You were the one that showed up at his studio unannounced and broke up with him out of nowhere, but it was mostly his fault that you got to this point.

After three years together you were just tired of feeling alone and unappreciated. His work was always put before you and your relationship and you were done with it.

“This is what I’m talking about Yoongi. You don’t care at all that I’m walking out. I guess the last three years were a waste of time since I mean nothing to you.”

Yoongi hastily spun his chair around and put his headphones back on before you could see his tears begin to fall. Scoffing you grabbed your jacket and purse and stormed out letting the door slam behind you before you finally released your own river of tears.

It had been almost six months since you and Yoongi broke up and neither of you had made any effort to contact one another. Jin ended up being the mediator brining you a box of your stuff from Yoongi’s and you gave him a box to take back to him as well. The last reminisce of the relationship you once had with each other.

Even though it had been six months the pain still hurt more than any other breakup you’d ever encountered. You really felt that he was the one you’d spend the rest of your life with and now that it wasn’t happening you were having a hard time coping with that. Jin claimed that Yoongi was struggling too. He wasn’t eating, stopped working on music for a while until the company got on his case, and Jimin claims to have seen him crying in his car while parked at the company building several times.

Yoongi seemed to be doing just fine in your eyes though. Always smiling and laughing in interviews and performances. Rumors even circulated about him dating a fellow idol and you had to admit the pictures looked pretty convincing. As much as you tried to tell yourself that he had every right to move on it still hurt.

It finally passed the busy season at work so you decided to treat yourself with a week off. Nothing fancy. You just wanted some time where you could shut off your alarm clock, maybe do a deep clean of your apartment, and eat as much greasy terrible for you, but tasty food as you wanted. The first morning of your vacation you heard your phone ringing from its place on the night stand next to you. You had made it absolutely clear to your boss to not contact you for any reason whatsoever so you knew it wasn’t work. Your friends would get the hint after a call or two that were missed, but whomever was calling was persistent. You stayed still trying to just ignore it, but after the eighth missed call you decided to roll out of bed and check to make sure nothing bad had happened.

To your surprise you found fifteen missed calls all from Namjoon and Jin. They hardly ever called you even when you and Yoongi were together so you were confused as to what was going on. Suddenly you got a notification for a voicemail and you clicked play,

“Hey Y/N, this is Namjoon. I’m really sorry to bother you right now. I know it’s still pretty early, but we’re having a bit of a situation. Something is wrong with Yoongi. We’re not sure what’s going on, but if you could give me a call back I’d really appreciate it. Thanks, Bye.”

You tossed the phone on your bed before plopping down. Namjoon’s voicemail repeating in your head. By now they all definitely knew what had happened between you two so it kind of irked you that they would call you of all people for help. Yoongi or anything Yoongi related was no longer your problem. You had every intention to just ignore it, but then in the back of your mind you started to worry. There will always be a part of you that will love and care for Yoongi and you couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to him because you wanted to make a point.

Grabbing your phone you quickly dialed Namjoon’s number and he answered on the second ring.

“Hi Y/N, thank you for calling me back. I really am sorry to wake you.”

“No it’s okay Joon. What’s going on?”

He let out a deep sigh, “Well we’re not 100% sure. We just got back today and Yoongi started flipping out. He tore through his suitcase. He made the stylist give him access to our wardrobes and he went through those too. It took Jimin and Hoseok two hours to help them put everything back together. He’s made a bunch of phone calls and now he’s just sitting in the corner of the room sobbing and mumbling something about a hat. We were hoping you’d know what was going on with him.”

You bit your lip trying to recall anything about a hat, “No I’m sorry Namjoon. I have no idea what it could be.”

“Well I was afraid of that. We’re supposed to leave to go to an interview in like fifteen minutes and I have no idea how we’re gonna get him to cooperate. He’s just completely inconsolable.”

You were really hoping you weren’t going to regret this but you took a deep breath and continued, “Would you like me to talk to him? Maybe I could get it out of him.”

“Oh my Yes! Thank you so much Y/N.”

After a few seconds and some distant mumbling you heard a few loud sniffles in the phone followed by the softest “hello” you’d ever heard.

“Yoongi what’s going on? Why are you so upset right now?”

It was like your voice set him off again and you could hear the sobs coming from deep within his chest followed by words you couldn’t make out.

“Yoongi calm down please. I can’t understand what you’re saying. Take a few breaths. Remember how we used to do it.

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

Do we need to take a few more?

1…

2…

3…

Okay now tell me what’s going on so I can try to help.”

A few moments went by and you were starting to think you’d never find out what happened, but then he cleared his throat,

“M-my beanie. The b-blue one. I lost it.”

Trying to think back to what hat he was talking about you continued, “Yoongi what beanie?”

“The soft blue one. I lost it somewhere. I can’t find it.”

“Yoongi it’s okay. You can get another one easily. I’m sure you could even order it online and have it delivered within a day or two.”

“N-no you don’t understand. You made that hat for me and it’s the last thing I had left from you. I’ll never have one like that again.”

It sounded like his crying was picking up again and that’s when it hit you.

Years ago you were hanging out at the dorm when Taehyung came walking by with some yarn he had used for a crafting thing he did with his siblings and not wanting the yarn to go to waste you took it and knit Yoongi a beanie. It was a blue color and very soft and fuzzy. That same night you gave it to him he asked you to be his girlfriend. You didn’t even know that he still had it.

Your heart did break at the sound of how upset he was getting over this. You had no idea how much that meant to him.

“Hey Yoongi it’s okay. Just breathe alright. I’ll make you a new hat. It’ll even be the same color and everything. I can have it done by tomorrow morning.” You really didn’t m feel like having to spend your day off knitting a new hat for your ex, but if that’s what got him to cooperate and get to the interview then you’d do it to help out the other members.

There was some silence followed my more sniffles, “I appreciate that Y/N, but it’s not the same. I don’t want a new hat. It won’t have the same memories with it.”

“Listen Yoongi, I know you have to get to an interview soon because you still have a job to do. The rest of the group is counting on you. Why don’t you go ahead and get that done and then we can try and fix this. Does that sound okay?”

You felt like you were tying to compromise with a toddler, but knowing he was this upset over something of yours did pull at your heart strings a little.

He didn’t say anything, but you could still hear his cries and what sounded like Jimin in the background trying to console him. Not long after Namjoon came back on the line, “So it sounds like you’ve figured it out?”

You chuckled, “Yeah kind of. It was this beanie that I had knit for him years ago. I guess he lost it while you guys were on tour.”

“Oh yeah that blue one right? He hasn’t let it out of his sight since he packed up your stuff for Jin to drop off. Hoseok swears he cuddles with it in his sleep. I’m surprised he lost it.”

That information felt like a stab to the heart. Maybe the breakup did really hurt him.

“I’m gonna try and fix this. I think I’ve convinced him to go to the interview so hopefully you guys can get done what you need and I’ll be in contact later.”

After traveling to four different craft store and six hours later you had knit an exact replica of the hat. Somehow you managed to find the same yarn in the same color and you were quite happy with your work. Your plan was to just tell Yoongi that one of the stylist found the lost beanie tucked away in a random suitcase somewhere after you had asked to take a look. You figured what Yoongi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Standing outside Yoongi’s studio you felt a million different emotions. The last time you were there still burned into your brain. After a quick few knocks the door swung open and the sight taking your breath away. He looked terrible. Definitely slimmer and paler which you weren’t sure how that even happened. His skin was red and raw from the crying. His eyes widened when he realized it was you standing there.

“Here, one of the stylists found the hat in a suitcase.”, you managed to get out pushing the blue beanie to him.

Gently he took it from your grasp. As he looked it over you noticed the slight tremble to his hands. When he finally looked up at you he had tears threatening to fall. He shook his head handing the hat back to you, “This isn’t it.”

“Yes it is Yoongi. It’s the one I made you. Look at it.”

“No it’s not Y/N. The first one you made me years ago has a little hole on the side where we had to cut it when one of your earrings got caught.”

You remembered that day. The two of you were cuddling on the couch watching a movie when he went to get up and get more snacks but was stopped by you yelping in pain as your ear was pulled in his direction. You both tried for over twenty minutes to get your earring loose, but ended up having to just cut it out. You had promised to fix it, but never got around to it.

“Yoongi I’m sorry that you lost that hat, but please just take this one. Maybe over time it’ll mean something to you too.”

He began to sniffle and you had to force yourself not to pull him into a hug.

“Yeah it’ll be a reminder of how I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.”, he cried.

“Yoongi it’s just a hat. And not even an expensive designer one. I hardly think it’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”

He couldn’t hide the slight chuckle that escaped him, “I meant you Y/N. Not the hat.”

“Oh, I see”, you could feel your cheeks heat up from embarrassment.

“Y/N, please give me a second chance. I’m sorry that I had put work before you so many times. It was selfish of me. I thought I was helping us both by being as successful as possible, but now I know that all this money and success is nothing if I don’t have you to share it with.”

Watching as he wiped away a tear you sighed, “Yoongi, I just…I don’t know. How do I know that things won’t immediately go back to the way they were?”

“I don’t know Y/N. I can speak a thousand promises, but whether you choose to believe them or not is up to you. But if you give me another chance I’ll work harder than ever to prove to you that things will be better between us.”

“Okay, I’m not saying that things will instantly return to normal, but I think that we could try and work up to it.”, you sighed.

Yoongi bit his lip trying to contain the smile threatening to come through, “Thank you Y/N. I can work with that. I won’t let you down. C-Can I give you a hug?”

Smiling you took the blue beanie in your hands and placed it on top of his head before stepping forward wrapping your arms around his neck feeling like things were finally on the right track and thankful to be back in his arms.

Four years later…

“Oh my goodness, Jungkook these are the cutest little booties I’ve ever seen.”, you smiled holding up the pair of blue knit baby booties for everyone at your baby shower to see. “Little Baby Min is going to absolutely love these.”, you continued before handing the box over to Yoongi so he could get a look.

Yoongi stared down at the gift with his brows furrowed. “How did you have these made? I know you don’t knit.”, he asked the younger man. “Well my girlfriend knows a lady who takes old fabric and yarn and stuff and makes keepsakes. So I gave her the blue hat that Y/N had knit for you and asked if she could make baby booties. I knew that hat was important to you both and now your baby can enjoy it too.”

That seemed to only cause more confusion for Yoongi, “But that hat is upstairs in one of my drawers. I just saw it this morning.”

Jungkook smiled while shaking his head, “No, this is the original hat. You know the one you thought you lost.”

You felt Yoongi’s tense up next to you. Namjoon gasped from the corner.

“That’s very sweet Kookie. How did you get that hat by the way?”, you asked.

“Oh after we got back from the tour I found it in my luggage. I think it was tucked away in a sweatshirt I had grabbed.”

Yoongi cleared his throat, “So if you knew I was looking for it and you found it then why didn’t you say anything?”

With nervousness you looked between your husband and Jungkook repeatedly before reaching over and taking Yoongi’s hand in yours trying to brace him for the answer.

As nonchalantly as possible Jungkook replied, “You never asked me.”

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #yoongi angst #yoongi fic #yoongi x y/n #bts fanfic #bts x reader #namjoon #jungkook #Jin #jimin #hoseok #taehyung #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #bts fic

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giorno-plays-piano · 1 year ago

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Broken Boy

Pairing: soft!yandere!Midoriya Izuku x reader

Warnings: obsession, manipulation, past bullying, violence (against bullies), unhealthy coping mechanisms, implied stalking, one mention of hypothetical noncon, Izuku being a cinnamon roll and a menace at the same time, hurt/comfort.

Words: 3.2k

Summary: "Is someone... giving you trouble?" You ask cautiously, actually afraid he's going to say yes. You can't stomach thinking someone is bullying Izuku again. Sure, he bulked up considerably and is now so tall he literally towers over you, but he's still that shy compassionate boy inside, and he doesn't know how to stop people from being mean to him.

P.S. Just giving some love to our best boi.

______________

When you see him, it's almost like every other Friday night when you grab a pizza from that corner cafe and come home to Izuku choosing a movie for you two to enjoy. It's been your favorite tradition ever since middle school, and you can't imagine spending the evening anywhere else.

Though maybe you should, given the circumstances.

Midoriya keeps chatting about work and the new equipment in his gym while you struggle to keep the conversation going. There are a lot of things on your mind, but your best friend's mental health is on the top of the list. Has been for a long time when you two had been younger, but you actually thought he got better with time. That is, until your work friend pointed out how unnaturally clingy he seems to the point when it's almost creepy.

He'd bark for you if you asked, she huffed, but, to your horror, you couldn't even find it in you to argue. In the end, she was right. When you look back at it, Izuku has been getting more and more possessive and insecure despite nothing seemingly changing in the relationship between you two.

Has something happened to him, and you missed it completely? You are confident it isn't his mom - your friend would often FaceTime with you around, and nothing at all hints at Midoriya's mom being distressed, you know her well enough to be sure. Is it work, perhaps? Personal issues?

Has someone started bullying him again?

You shiver from anger at the thought, clenching your fists. You would fucking end anyone who's troubling your ray of sunshine - like you had nearly done in middle school.

When you first met him, he was a new kid in your class, all skin and bones, awkward and shy and with no communication skills whatsoever. Took him about a day to become a target of delinquents you school was full of. They mocked him, drew on his desk, and threw a bucket of water at him once, but, as always, teachers didn't pay any attention to the bullying. You feel bad about it now, but since you had never seen it happen with your own eyes, you didn't think much of it either.

However, when one of the kids punched Izuku in the face to the point his nose started bleeding right in front of you, something in you snapped at the view of blood trickling down Midoriya's face. He was crying, hands up to prevent the kid from hurting him more, pleading the bullies to stop as if they'd listen. To this day, it infuriates you that someone would beat up a child this defenseless and lost: he was like an injured puppy, sobbing and trying to hide in the corner with his arms up to protect himself.

Before you even realized what you were doing, you flew to the bully and strated throwing punches at him like your life depended on it, repeatedly hitting him in the head and chest and everywhere you could reach before the other kids intervened. You were so enraged, though, you ended up fighting them, too, despite getting kicked in the ribs hard. The pain didn't stop you: it was like you turned into a whole different being whose only purpose was to hurt the bullies of a crying kid.

The teachers barely got a hold of you before you grabbed a chair to smash it against the back of one of the other children.

To this day, you wonder how Izuku awoke this raging beast inside of you: you had rarely gotten into fights, and, given your politeness and overall sweet demeanor, neither you nor anyone else had suspected you had it in you. Nevertheless, from that point on, there wasn't a day when you weren't there for Midoriya to kick the ass of whoever had the gall to torment him. Hell, the next time someone punched him, you went batshit crazy and almost pushed the guy off the stairs. Worse, you aren't the slightest bit sorry even now when you think of Izuku's swollen eye after he got punched again.

Gradually, it became better after you showed every stupid boy around what would happen if they did anything stupid to that awkward skinny kid, and Izuku was finally left alone. Naturally, it was no surprise he got so attached to you he spent nearly all his time somewhere around, going to the same after-school activities, picking same clubs, doing same things as long as he was able to stay close to you. You felt sorry for Midoriya: he was so nice it alone was enough for people to pick on him. How was he supposed to find friends? He'd stay a loner forever if you didn't do anything.

He wasn't hard to be around. Getting to know him better, you realized he was genuinely a very gentle and smart kid despite his antics and a weird addiction to superhero movies. Izuku was sweet and polite, holding a door for you like a gentleman, carrying your books, always laughing at your jokes, and even giving up his rice pudding he claimed he didn't like just to give it to you. How could you not like him?

It's been years since you both graduated from college, and he is still bringing you a rice pudding whenever you feel sad. You heart clenches as you think of him going through hard times again when you have no idea what's happening.

"Are you alright?" He suddenly asks, and you realize you've been staring at the wall for a minute, not replying to anything he just said.

God, this is gonna be painful.

"Are you alright?" Turning your head to face him, you ask, equally guilty and concerned.

Even though he tells you he is, giving you his brightest smile, you don't believe it. Izuku is very good at hiding his emotions when he's hurt.

"Talk to me," you ask, grabbing his palms in yours, and he visibly reddens at the sudden touch like a schoolboy.

You aren't fooled by this as you patiently wait for him to open up like always does when you want him to be honest with you, but Izuku just shrugs and says he's unsure what you're implying. Things are the same. Nothing has changed, nothing at all.

"Is someone... giving you trouble?" You ask cautiously, actually afraid he's going to say yes. You can't stomach thinking someone is bullying Izuku again. Sure, he bulked up considerably and is now so tall he literally towers over you, but he's still that shy compassionate boy inside, and he doesn't know how to stop people from being mean to him.

Midoriya smiles and shakes his head. "No. My colleagues and my boss are very nice. You don't have to worry."

"I can't NOT worry!" You exhale, rubbing his hands in yours like you always do when you get nervous. "You seem so... alone. I don't even see your gym buddies anymore. Has something happened? Did you have a fallout or something?"

There it is, this gentle, heartbreaking smile he always gives you whenever you are worried. Izuku has never once told you that you are pushy and overbearing despite the fact that you were all that many times in the past. He just smiles at you like he's happy someone cares, and it makes you tear up at the thought. How could he be so sweet and kind and yet so unaware of his own worth? It feels like the world is so freaking unfair to him.

"I just don't spend that much time with them anymore," he says as he gets a little closer to you, cheeks blushing because he's such a pure soul, unspoiled and shy, "because you are my best friend. I wanna hang out with you. I thought you'd be happy about it."

It's nearly enough to make you freaking sob. What did you do to deserve this sweetheart? How could he stay such a warm, kindhearted guy after the treatment people gave him?

You draw a breath and look him dead in the eye. "Izuku, come on, I'm not going anywhere. Why on Earth do you think if you have other friends, I'll stop hanging out with you? Having more friends is a healthy thing! We can hang out together if you'd like."

It seems Midoriya doesn't like the idea, giving how he shakes his head, his expression darkening. You don't know what to make of it until he starts talking, not meeting your eyes, "No. What if you'll like my friends more than me? I've always felt like you liked those gym guys more than me. I hated it. Like they're better than me, and if they ask you to stop spending time with me, you'll choose them over me."

For a second, you're unsure if you've just misheard him. It takes you a moment to process his words. What the actual fuck?! Did he just suppose you like his gym bros you only ever met a couple of times more than him, your best friend who's been with you for years?

As you blink, a thousand questions form in your head in response to his accusation, but one thought prevails over others: Izuku is battling some serious demons inside his head. There is no way a sane person would ever suggest anything like that. He's really, really insecure. Insecure in a dangerous way. You can't believe you haven't realized it earlier, just blaming it on his weird social skills when Izuku clearly hasn't been alright. When did it even start? Has it always been like that, and you simply didn't see the signs? Is it because of his childhood traumas?

Of course, it's his fucking childhood traumas. Why else? You were literally the only kid around him. Of course, he's terrified of losing you, and that's why he's still glued to you like a child.

It hurts you thinking your best friend is struggling that much. He's such a good person. He could have been so much happier if not for the things he had to endure as a kid that damaged him.

"Izuku, I think you need help," you whisper quietly, heartbroken, clenching his hands in yours as he watches you with that soft smile on his face that only makes you more anxious. "Things you say, they're just... wrong. I'd never abandon you for someone else, but it's not normal to depend on anyone that much. You need help. What can I do for you?"

You are completely honest with him when you speak, wishing to do anything it takes to help him get better. Clearly, Midoriya needs therapy. You'll have to ask around and find him an adequate specialist, maybe even pay if Izuku's low on cash, but you can do it. He's your best friend. Even if your colleague is right and he'd do anything for you, you'd do anything for him either. That's what friends are for.

When Izuku lights up, you hope he'll accept your help, but instead, he says, "Just stay with me like this."

You blink again and sigh in frustration. Of course, he'll pretend like he's ok. He has always had.

Reaching out to him, you envelop him in a hug and bring his head to your chest despite how much bigger he is now compared to you. Izuku doesn't fight, eagerly wrapping his hands around your core like he waited for it to happen. You're fairly certain touch is his love language because he used to hug you almost every day when he was a kid. Sure, he did become more self-conscious once you turned older, but it didn't stop him from occasional cuddles.

"I'm not going anywhere, ok?" You repeat again to reassure him. "I'm here. I don't know why you're so fixated on the idea."

"But what if you're gonna meet some guy you'll fall in love with? Get married, have kids?" He mumbles, his breath warming your neck. "What about me then?"

Gently caressing his head to calm him down, you ask, "Well, aren't you gonna do the same? Don't you want to fall in love with some nice girl?"

He sighs loudly, head buried under your chin as he keeps clinging to you. "I've already had."

Eyes wide, you silently stare at him, but Midoriya doesn't stop cuddling with his face hidden from you like he doesn't want you to see him. What the hell? Is this a prank or something? What sort of a fucking rollercoaster is this evening?

You can't even believe he fell in love with someone. Seriously? And didn't even tell you? Who on Earth is this girl? Do you know her? How did they meet? Your head is ready to burst from the number of questions that only seem to multiple again and again with each sentence Midoriya says.

"But you never even hang out with anyone but me..." You start, furrowing your brows until Izuku is groaning in your chest, and it finally hits you.

He is talking about you.

You are the only girl he's ever cared about. The only person he's been close to. And he has always been nice, but also sort of exceptionally nice? Even your mom used to comment on how much he likes you, hinting at the evident crash he had for you, but you always thought it was just wishful thinking despite how much you'd liked him to be in love with you. Given how open he was, he would've already confessed, you thought. By the time you both turned into adults, you were pretty much convinced he didn't harbor any romantic feelings for you or no longer had them.

When in reality he might have fallen in love with you years ago and never fallen out of it.

It freaks you out that much your face is on fire. Fucking hell. How are you supposed to react? What are you going to say? You don't even understand how you are feeling about this. Do you like him? Sure, you absolutely do. But do you love him? Can you love him? He'll surely ask you to date now that the cat is our of the bag. And what are you going to say to that?

Instead, you try to direct your thoughts elsewhere and ask Izuku, swallowing a lump in your throat, "When did you f-fall in love with me?"

He mumbles something inaudible into your chest, and you have to grab his face and make him look at you despite how much you'd like the earth just to swallow you whole this very moment.

"When you first hit that kid for me, I think," he mutters with his face so red he resembles a ripe tomato.

Oh my god, you almost say to his face but manage to stop yourself, drawing a shaky breath instead. He's been in love with you all this time. All. This. Time. You are never going to live this moment down. Ever.

Your best friend had a crush on you for years, and you just blindly thought he was clingy for no reason aside from his loneliness. That he was just being moody when you went on a couple of dates in high school and talked to him about it. That he didn't date anyone himself because he's simply a very shy person and struggles to start a conversation with girls.

Were you being a huge moron to him all this time?

"You weren't supposed to find out this way," he grumbles, burying his head beneath your chin again. "I was preparing for a big reveal in a nice restaurant, and then we'd go on a trip, just the two of us."

You are so abashed you don't even have anything to say. Maybe you're actually dreaming right now on Midoriya's couch because only then it would all make sense. What the hell are you supposed to say? To feel? Your best friend has always been in love with you, and you had no fucking idea.

Again, not that you don't like him or anything. You do. Especially after he manned up a little, grew taller, and hit the gym, although you'd probably like him even if he still was 5"1 skinny as a rail guy with a baby face. It just feels weird to rapidly start developing these freaking intense feelings for someone you nearly considered a part of you.

While you're trying to somehow get out of this akward situation, your brain gives you the stupidest idea to make a joke, "Well, aren't we confident! Already planned a trip after confessing."

You almost feel him smile, but when he breaks the embrace to straighten and look you in the eyes, he has a sad expression on his face. "I'd try to convince you by any means possible I'd do anything for you. I was ready to grovel at your feet. I still am."

His words alarm you, and you immediately place your hands on his shoulders, causing him to smile again. You want to tell him under no circumstances he should do that to anyone at all, but Izuku keeps going before you can stop him.

"I mean it. I'd do anything. I'd let you hurt me. I'd let you rape me if you wanted to. I'd jump from the roof if you asked me. Whatever you want, I'll do."

Normally, a love confession would have made you happy, but the words he say break your heart instead, and your eyes are instantly wet before you even realize it. How could he say something like that? How could be so nonchalant about these things? Has he no regard for himself as a human being? No pride? No pity? How can he talk about being alright with you hurting him if only it meant you'd date him? How could be genuinely be fine with a thing like this?

'I'm sorry!" He apologizes immediately when tears start streaming down your cheeks. "I didn't mean to upset you, I swear! I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me."

You are fully sobbing now, clenching his stupid Captain America sweatshirt you got him last Christmas. This is so fucked up. How could he be okay with you doing these things to him? Why would he even go that far?

You can't stop yourself from embracing him once more, hugging him tight as your head rests on his broad shoulder. Midoriya doesn't protest, his gentle, warm hands already caressing your back as you sniffle.

"Izuku, you need help," you sob, soaking his sweatshirt, oblivious to his smile growing wide when you don't see his face.

Gently rocking back and forth like he's trying to calm down a child, he whispers to you softly in response, "Then will you stay and help me?"

It's such an innocent ask you have no second thoughts saying yes immediately because you better fall down the roof yourself than leave your friend in this state, and you don't even think about Izuku manipulating you into being with him. How could he? He's a cinnamon roll to the core. He's so good and pure it's dangerous for him to be left alone. Besides, you like him anyway, don't you? It's not like everything will change so much in a heartbeat. He's still your friend, still the closest to you. He'll always be. He just needs your help, and you can't say no when he's been so traumatized and really needs help.

Izuku knew you'd say yes, anyway.

__________

Tags: @yanderetodorokishoto @minshookie29

#yandere #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku #deku bnha #deku x reader #bnha deku #bnha #my hero academia

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chasedbyatlantic · 8 months ago

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finally alone, joel miller

masterlist summary: IN WHICH — you and joel miller are nothing but flirty towards each other, no matter the situation. when the two of you decide to take an unauthorized visit outside of jackson, it really shows.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, jackson era!joel, gender neutral!reader, no use of y/n, fluff, implied-ish relationship, friends to lovers type beat, mentions of cheating/death/hooking up, reader is a bit of a player, stripping, swearing. lmk if i missed anything else!

wordcount: 2.3k

a/n: guys comment what u want me to write abt cuz im running out of ideas haha :,). remember to like, comment, reblog and follow for more! xoxo

—

It was a torrential downpour right now, the sun had disappeared hours ago and there was nowhere to wait it out. It was nice and sunny this morning when the two of you had left the walls, passing by the sleepy guards with no issues whatsoever. Tommy had given everyone working the walls instructions to not let you or his brother go through without clearing with Tommy first, but some rules are meant to be broken, right?

Not that you had a bad reputation, but not too many of the conservative mothers and elderly were fond of you. It had to have been because of your loud mouth, you had convinced yourself. But the weeks following yours and Joel's arrival, you were sure it was more than just your loud mouth. You were always on edge, and ready to fight people for what you needed- for Christ sake, you lived outside of the walls for ten years, you couldn't have been any different. It probably also didn't help that you hooked up with a married man or two, but that's besides the point.

You and Joel were partners, not literally, but the two of you had been teamed up for a while. You met at the Boston QZ when Marlene, the leader of the Fireflies, had tasked the both of you to move 'precious cargo'. You grew close to Joel, and eventually Ellie. After arriving at Jackson, Ellie had separated herself a bit from Joel and you, but you two remained tied at the hip, despite what everyone thought about it.

People had suspected and assumed what was happening between you and Joel, that you two were a couple and you were cheating on him with married men. First of all, the two of you weren't together, and second of all, those men wanted to fuck you, not the other way around. You and Joel had only laughed off the allegations, not really giving a shit about what anyone else thought about the two of you.

The two of you were completely drenched, right through your clothes, when you arrived at the place you had planned to visit, a Walgreens. Well, an outdated Walgreens. You could tell the place was still stocked with food after twenty years, there were just a few runners the two of you had to get rid of. You two were at the back of the Walgreens, the employee entrance. "Do we have to go in?" You asked, "I wanna stay out and dance in the rain!" You had to have your voice raised a bit, the water muting many of the room tone-like sounds.

He checked the clip in his pistol, before shoving it back in. "Y'ur actin' like we ain't gonna have all the time in the world to dance in there, plum." You hated that, plum. First of all, he knew you absolutely hated the name, second of all, plums were your least favourite fruit. "I'll feed you to those runners if y'ain't careful." You threatened him.

Joel shook his head, knowing you wouldn't do anything. It was funny, really, you saying you would hurt him. He found it cute if anything. "Ya' know what to do in there, you get one'n I'll get the others." You nodded your head as Joel silently opened the door. The three runners in there turned their head and screamed, immediately running to the two of you. They spared you some time, though, from tripping over everything in the way.

Joel went first, shooting at the one that had flew over for him. It went down without a fight, and you had leaped over its body in a careful matter. You were better in hand-to-hand combat, so you had your machete swinging to cut half a head off of the runner. When the runner you had killed fell to the floor, another gunshot and body drop was heard from where Joel was. You turned to see all three down, Joel almost grinning. "Too easy, eh?"

You shook your head, your eyes rolling. "Alright pretty boy," You said, "Help me drag 'em outside." He holstered his weapon, sliding a sly 'yes ma'am' to you before helping, knowing that would drive you crazy. It did, though you chose to ignore it. The two of you were very flirty with each other, it was a second nature in all honesty. Though, you didn't mind it, Joel was anything but ugly.

He helped you bring the former-runners outside, it only took a couple minutes - you two didn't want to go back outside, but you had to do what needed to get done. Once the two of you were finished, Joel had locked the door, which meant the two of you were stuck in here for a while. "Did the list get destroyed?" You questioned him, as he searched through his bag. Joel, not long after, took out a small piece of paper with a grin on his face. "All good."

Not too long after, you were down one aisle, Joel the one beside. You decided to sort of split up, and efficiently scavenge for what you needed to get. You two wanted to keep this place on the downlow, in case things ever went south in Jackson and you needed a place to take Ellie to. It was perfect, really, despite the few runners that were here previously. Food, water, medicine, shelter, everything you needed when the world was in this state.

The two of you were in comfortable silence, until you broke it. "Joel?" You had called out, a small 'hm?' being returned from him not long after. "What type of, uh- lotion did she want? There's forty different kinds." Your eyes scanned the shelf, reading every different label. Ellie had promised you that she wouldn't tell anyone about yours or Joel's whereabouts if you picked her up this certain type of lotion, one to help her bite be less itchy, or something.

"Uh," He began, "Nivea? 'M not sure." Your eyes scanned the shelf once more, before picking up the bottle and sliding it in your bag. It almost slipped out of your hands, you were still completely drenched from the shitty weather outside. Just as you were about to leave that aisle, and join Joel at his, something caught your eye. This is perfect, you thought to yourself, you needed a good laugh and this would crack you up.

You reached for the wrapped box, "Joel?" You had called out once more. You heard shifting around from the other side, "What is it?" He replied. You threw the box over to his side, putting your hand over your mouth as you tried to muffle your laughs. The thud of the box hitting the floor was the only other sound, other than you laughing of course.

"Really?" Was heard from the other side, "Condoms? Real fuckin' mature o'you." This sent you through the roof, honestly. Maybe it was the lack of sleep you had been getting for the last few weeks, or that this was genuinely ridiculous, but you just bursted out with laughter. Let the whole world hear you, you thought to yourself, who cares.

"I'm sorry!" You had exclaimed in between laughs, "It was too fuckin' funny not to!" You slipped past into Joel's aisle, looking for him. He wasn't there. Your laughs calmed down, "Joel?" You drug out the last part of his name, curiously stepping forward. As soon as you did that, you felt arms wrap around you and pick you up. Not arms of a clicker, no, but arms that felt too familiar to your waist.

Joel spun you around, his chin resting in the crook of your neck from behind. The roles were reversed, he was now the one with the laughing fit and you were the unamused one. You had let a few 'let me go!'s escape your lips, trying your best to stay upset, though it didn't work for long. Joel set you down after a few more spins, trying his best not to fall over from the dizziness.

Things between the two of you were complicated, you hooked up all the time but were nothing official. It felt weird, making things official during a time like this. Nobody wanted to care for someone too much, since they didn't know what tomorrow would bring. It was a mutual feeling, you were sure of it, you just didn't know what to do about it.

"I hated that." You flatly-as-possible said that to him, as you turned and faced him. He met your gaze, you could stare into his eyes all day. "That's what you get." He had simply replied to you with, this earned a confused look and a raised eyebrow from you, "Excuse me?" Joel could only hold his smile back, "They were too small, should've at least thrown over the right size."

For fuck sakes, Joel Miller. You slapped him on the shoulder after he broke the shared gaze and walked off, yelling a 'Christ, Joel!' as you chased after him. He drove you crazy, and he knew that. Not a bad crazy, not anything close to that. Whatever crazy it may be, it was mutual.

With another hour of scavenging under the two of yours' belts, you both grew tired. You were still wet from outside, your hair had started to dry, though. Both Joel and you had found an upstairs to the grocery store, it looked to be an employee break room or something like that. You had brought up a few blankets, candles and matches, and a change of clothes. You had set up the candles around your room, not as a romantic gesture, but as a light source. Obviously the power wasn't working, and the two of you needed to see what you were doing.

Joel had set up the blankets by the time the last candle was lit, a proud look to his face. You took notice, as you shrugged off your bag and bent down to untie your boots. "You're a great blanket-layer, Mister Miller." He tsked when you had said that, "No need to remind me." He took notice of you starting to unzip your pants, and push them down. He rose his brow, waiting for you to explain what you were doing.

You took notice of this after you had removed your pants, and stood back up to get your shirt, "What? I'm soaked." Joel had completely forgot about that, in all honesty. His clothes were soaked through as well, no doubt in that, he was just too caught up in the moment with you that he had pushed it to the side. He had removed his shirt as you took yours off, if someone else was to see this, they would definitely think something else was happening.

You two had stripped down to just your undergarments and towel-dried yourselves off. God bless Walgreens for carrying everything, you had thought to yourself. In no time, the two of you were dressed back up in comfortable clothes for the time being, making an unspoken decision that you guys would spend the night.

You were the first one to lay down on top of the blankets Joel had set up, Joel was looking through his bag for something. "Can we just stay here forever, you'n me?" You asked, eyes closed and sprawled out. He could only chuckle in response, "What 'bout Ellie?" Shit, you had forgotten about her. You were too caught up being with just Joel that you had forgot Ellie was at home, probably wondering where the fuck the two of you were. "Pass me the walkie," You asked, "Let me call her."

That was what you did, you went onto the right channel and began talking into the walkie talkie. It took a minute or two until you actually got a response from Ellie. She had made sure you two were fine, and not 'absolutely fucking deceased' (her words, not yours). With much reassurance and whatnot, you soon bid your farewells to her, and had promised you would be back the following day. Ellie had also made the comment saying not to 'come back knocked up', sounding like your mother. This earned Joel to yell at her from the background, but only made you laugh. You loved that kid, like your own.

You placed the walkie down, moving to one side of the not-so-bed bed. "Joel," You groaned, "Hurry up, I'm freezing." You complained. You were in wet clothes for hours, you were bound to be frostbitten at this point. Joel was your heat source for tonight, though he didn't mind, not one bit. With you basically cuddled up to him the entire night, it brought ease to him sleeping.

He shortly lay down beside you, stretching his arm out which had only caused you to lay on his chest. He was chewing something, it smelled too familiar. "What're you eating?" You had hummed, a yawn following your question. "Dried plum." He only replied, doing everything in his power to suppress his grin.

You shook your head, well, as much as you could with your head laying on Joel's chest. "Where the fuck did you even get dried out plums? That's the stupidest thing ever." Joel didn't think it was, plums were his favourite fruit- he wouldn't say anything about that, though, not yet. If you didn't want to eat any plums, he would help you out. This was another case of the olive theory. "One of Maria's friends does 'em, seriously, you should try 'em."

You bickered with him about it for a moment, dropping it the next. Joel loved when you bickered with him, it made you two sound like an old, married couple- though you weren't, not yet. He loved how you would rant on about your hate for plums, or what you had done during the day throughout Jackson. He was just happy to be finally alone with you, not being able to handle anymore time spent not by your side.

—

finally alone, mac demarco

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c-t-r-l14 · 10 months ago

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Why Alex’s Break Up Audio Made Me Appreciate Andrew’s Character More

A couple of days ago, as I was drafting the dialogue for the second part of Alex’s story, I started to think about Andrew Marston, our beloved Literature Professor. I remember when I first listened to the Alex’s break up audio, in the description of the video, Saku states that this was the first break up audio he’s ever done. But that isn’t true, ‘cause Andrew broke up with his partner at some point in his story, too. And then I started thinking about Andrew’s break up audio—and what I realized is that throughout that breakup audio—It never felt like Andrew was trying to get rid of listener.

One of the biggest things that pissed me off about Alex was his blatant disregard of the person he claims to love. He absolutely refused to try and make the relationship work, he gaslights listener and blames the failure of their relationship all on them, makes dumbass excuses that hold no merit whatsoever, and tried to make it seem like it was such a hard decision to come to, when in reality, it probably wasn’t. He tells them that he loves them and how he wants to be with them so badly, but never gives them actual chance to make that happen. And it honestly feels like he made all of these excuses and blamed listener for their relationship falling apart so he wouldn’t feel bad for leaving them behind. It was quite obvious that he saw listener as a burden that was holding him back, and he wanted nothing than more to get rid of them so he could finally be free and run away from them. He is a selfish, manipulative, gaslighting asshole with a victim complex. If he really loved listener as much as he says he does, then none of the excuse making or gaslighting would be necessary; but it seemed like to him—doing all of that would be the only way out without feeling bad about it. So, instead of being truthful about how he actually feels and just straight up telling listener, “I don’t want to be in a long distance relationship,” or “I’ve fallen out of love with you”, or literally ANYTHING ELSE, he decided to make things a lot more harder for them by pulling any excuse out of his ass and praying that it will work. It just felt like he was just throwing them away—like how a child throws away a toy after they’ve outgrown it—and it’s SICKENING.

But, Andrew was never like this.

Through his entire break-up audio, you could feel that he truly felt like he was making the right decision here—because above all else, Darling was the only thing that mattered to him. Something I’ve learned from Alex’s audio is that it’s really easy to point the finger to someone else and put all the blame on one party. It would’ve been all too easy for Andrew to straight up tell listener that it was their fault for perusing him—and if they’d just simply looked somewhere else to find love, then their exposé would’ve never happened—and both of their reputations would be spared from online scrutiny and embarrassment. But he didn’t. He and Darling both perused this relationship with the consequences in the back of their mind. They knew what would happen if they got caught, and repercussions that will follow. Andrew had enough integrity and honesty within himself to pour his heart out to Darling and told them how much he loved them. And you can tell that he was doing it because he thought that it was the best thing he could do for them—and that’s because he was HONEST. He never once made excuses, or gaslit them into thinking this was entirely their fault. And it never felt like he was just throwing them aside when it suited him.

And it shows more even when he came back to apologize for his behavior. Even then, he realized that it was wrong to make definitive decisions about their relationship without talking to his partner first—and was ready to accept the consequences of his actions because he realized how much he hurt Darling. He was honest about everything—even when it was hard for him. He made sure to put in the effort in his relationship to make sure he keeps Darling by his side. Even when people came after him—even after he got publicly humiliated—even after he lost his job. He tried so hard because he told Darling how much he loved them—and he meant it.

I respect the living hell out of Andrew because his actions always matched his words.

I want to make this clear—I’m not saying that Alex has to stay with listener. And I’m not mad that he wanted to leave. I’m mad because of the way he broke up with them. There was absolutely no reason to blame them for everything. There was absolutely no reason to gaslight and manipulate them. And there was certainly no reason for his dumbass to make such stupid excuses. He tells listener he loves them and yet does everything he could to get away from them. He wasn’t even man enough to be honest during their break-up. His actions matched the opposite of his words and that makes me sick. Alex makes me sick.

When he sees all of his friends move on to the next level in their relationships—whether that be marriage, or having kids—his stupid, sorry, good-for-nothing-except-crying-and-making-excuses headass will be ALONE. And he’ll stay that way until he realizes that being unwilling to put actual effort in a relationship and having no integrity is a rather unattractive trait of his. Although, I highly doubt that he’ll be smart enough to realize that AT ALL—because he has such a victim complex.

In short, fuck Alex, and stan Andrew. ❤️

#sakuverse #zsakuva #alex zsakuva #Andrew marston #Andrew zsakuva #reminding ya’ll yet again that Alex is the absolute worst and deserves nothing in life #Andrew is the true mvp #i really hope karma gets Alex back

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teddybearspankingoffurski · 6 months ago

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*Paul blinked himself awake, the white and red of the HR community office a bland sight at eight in the morning. The lady standing up front continued talking.*

HR Lady: We are aware that a lot of you from floor seven, section five are likely feeling very shocked and hurt about the incident that transpired yesterday at 11am. Right now we're working very closely with the authorities to make sure that your office time isn't interrupted while they do their job to find out what happened. If there is anyone who feels they need to take a couple days off to process we encourage it, we want you working at your best and if that requires a few mental health days we are ready to provide it.

*Her voice was sickeningly sweet in Paul's ears, but it felt so manufactured and fake, like artificial coffee sweeteners. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes as murmurs spread around the room.*

Coworker 1: Authorities? Does that mean they think it was a murder?

Coworker 2: I bet it was Stephen from cubicle 4A. That guy's a total freak.

*Paul could see Stephen frown beside him, he almost felt bad, poor guy. But who could blame his coworkers when the all the guy talked about was how easy murders would be. Paul stared down at his hands, not wanting to look around the room and risk accidentally catching Ted's stare. He knew Ted had been looking over at him, glancing every few seconds with those exhausted eyes. He looked back up at the HR speaker as she continued talking.*

HR Lady: Now, moving on, before we conclude this meeting we had another matter to speak upon before the unfortunate casualty of yesterday. We'd like to remind all CCRP workers to keep your personal and work lives separate from each other at all times.

*He didn't miss how her eyes flicked over him and Ted for a split second and he frowned, right. That.*

HR Lady: Thank you for your time everyone, please try to have a good day. There are donuts in the hall for everyone on your way out.

*Paul stood up quickly, tie flopping a bit as he left the room without grabbing the free donut. He wanted to avoid as much interaction with Ted as possible for the time being. Sure, he had calmed down a bit since last night, but it still hurt to look at him. He was really trying to forgive him, he was, but he had never been very good at forgiveness until the person was already dead. He stepped back into his cubicle, Charlotte's crossed off with caution behind him as a few Police buzzed around it. He sat down, work on his mind as he began typing into his files again as if nothing had happened yesterday.*

@paul-j-matthews

[Ted forced himself to sit through that meeting, stone faced and completely not put together whatsoever. His hair was a mess and it was clear he hadn't slept very well the night before. After watching a few movies with Pete, finishing off that whole pizza and an entire box of hot Cocoa mix, he sent the kid off the bed. After all, Peter still had school in the morning, and Ted had work. But Ted didn't go to sleep. No. He just is laid there in his bed for 3 hours, staring at his phone screen waiting and praying a text from Paul would appear on it. One never did.

So yeah, he was kind of staring at him through the whole meeting. And yeah, he was kind of hoping to get at least a slight glance in return. He didn't get one of those either.

As soon as the meeting ended he went straight to Mr.Davidson, heeding the HR woman's advice to take some time off. Davidson really couldn't tell Ted no in front of the HR crew, so he nodded his head yes and Ted thanked him before quickly rushing off to the door.

And maybe, just maybe, he brushed by Paul's cubicle on his way out. Just hoping, wishing, praying for some acknowledgement of his own existence. He didn't get one.

The way all that felt was just...awful. He glanced at what was once Charlotte's cubicle, the cops searching for evidence there. That implied it was a murder. Paul seemed to be too laser focused on his work while the cops were right beside him, and he didn't seem very bothered by the meeting either.

The theory in his mind was only being further confirmed moment by moment. But he couldn't say anything. Not yet, not here.]

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myohmyimanxious · 7 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel Headcanons bc I'm obsessed xoxo

(Some NSFW is implied/mentioned)

-Husk was there when alastor sold his soul to whomever it was

- He also has no trust is alastor whatsoever like he's terrified of him but he also wouldn't trust him for his life (literally)

- Angel has PTSD

- But he doesn't realise he has it, bc he represses feelings and everything

- Charlie and Angel have a sibling dynamic

- They're pain in the asses for vaggie and husk

- Charlie reminds angel of his sister molly

- He also doesn't really like to celebrate his birthday bc it's not the same without her (unless he's shit-faced drunk and won't remember)

- Vox will make his screen brighter or flicker to get and hold val's attention

- Angel is Husk's lucky charm in gambling moments

- Angel genuinely did love val in the beginning and thought val loved him too

- Whilst Alastor truly does believe that a smile is a both a way to control the situation and hide one's true intentions, his smile is stitched on and he physically cannot remove the stitches as it's part of his deal

- Alastor is colourblind in the same way deer are

- Angel knows what they said about him in Angel court and he plays it off but it really upset him

- Alastor was a serial killer in his life

- He was never caught though

- Alastor plays static when actively trying to ignore someone

- He also plays music for the hotel to dance too, finding that he and Angel enjoyed the same music (bc of the similar time period)

- Husk once got alastor drunk enough to dance with Charlie and taught her how to Charleston dance

- Nifty is like everyone's child. You cannot mess with her

- Nifty will bring bugs to the person she likes most that day (usually alastor)

- Vaggie has threatened angel's life on many occasions

- Those two argue constantly (it's friendly tho)

- Charlie spends a lot of her time breaking up little spats in the hotel

- Charlie has nightmares about the time she saw alastors true demon form

- It made her feel super bad for him too, and she's offered to cut the stitches on his mouth but he refuses

- Lucifer is trying to be a better dad

- It's hard but he is actively trying

- He likes to hand out rubber ducks he's made/painted when people are upset

- Angel has a lot of them, bc he frequently seems to catch Lucifer when he's returning from work

- Lucifer is autistic for sure

- And his ducks are his special interest

- Lowkey he's also smitten by fat nuggets when he meets him

- So much so that when angel is at work lucifer happily offers to feed and look after the lil guy

- Fat nuggets once ate off of alastors plate, and that's the only time it ever happened bc by fucking god did alastor go crazy

- He didn't hurt fat nuggets tho it's okay, he wanted to but angel was like ILL DIE AGAIN BITCH TRY ME MOTHERFUCKER and pulled out some guns

- Angel gives Alastor the tea of what's going down with the Vee's when he gets it

- Mainly bc he hates the Vee's as much as Alastor and also bc Alastor asked him too and he's kinda scared of him

- And also bc it's fucking easy bc Val is a dumb bitch who doesn't know how to be subtle if he tried, Vox thinks so little of Angel that he thinks Angel would be too focused on the sex and Velvette doesn't care much for Angel either

- That's not to say that the Vee's haven't tried to get Angel to be their spy on the inside too, it's just Angel is like nothing to report also I gotta work sorry and just lies to them

- A wannabe patron once was rude to Charlie and lucifer decked them

- Everyone was amazed he had it in him to do it like that bc damn mans was pissed

- Let's just say nobody is rude to Charlie anymore just in case

- Also Charlie is also fucking terrifying when she wants/needs to be

- Someone called Angel a whore and tried to touch him and she went off

- Lucifer had to hold her back

- Fuck with her friends and she will kill you 😊

- Charlie cries at everything (good or bad)

- Vaggie is a real trooper putting up with it

- Angel was like "would you be like that with me if I cried all the time?" To husk, and husk with no hesitation said "fuck no"

- Husk treats Angel like a princess in the streets but a slut in the sheets

- They've deffo fucked behind the bar

- Charlie and Rosie keep in touch

- They have tea parties with Alastor

- Val is scared of Niffty bc she's unpredictable and bc he's not over what happened in the club

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel Headcanons #hazbin headcanons #charlie morningstar #vaggie #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #valentino hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #niffty hazbin hotel #fat nuggets hazbin hotel #rosie hazbin hotel

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clegfly · 29 days ago

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Woo, it’s about time I made one of these… *cracks knuckles*

MORE ABOUT ME!!!!

HIIII!!!! My name is clegfly, or just cleg!!!! I’m an artist/ writer / professional paint drying critic/j. I’m just a silly girl doing silly things, don’t mind me. I use she/her pronouns and I am aroace!!!

LIKES

BULLET POINTS BULLET POINTS BULLET POI

Pancakes. All day. All the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Pancakes

That goes for bacon too

JELLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!1!1!1!

Why are these all foods what else do I like uhhhh

Warm. And cosy bed. And fire. And all that stuff

OLD COMPUTER AESTHETIC!!!!!! N64!!! WINDOWS XP!!!! ALL THAT SHIT

Bugs in theory

PLANTS

MUSICAL THEATRE

Graphic novels

Video games… ough my beloveds

Books

Okay now this is too long

Oops

Sorry

JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH

The ocean full stop actually

In theory

CHINCHILLAS

Yapping

Analysis

DISLIKES

anything on my DNI >:((((

Bugs in practice

Sport

Exercise

I’m literally hero omori

Commitment

Stress

Internet drama

Anyone who gatekeeps like. Anything.

INTERESTS???

All day every day, baby.

MAINS

OMORI- main interest as apparent by one peek at my blog… The brainrot is immeasurable and everlasting. Send help. It’s been almost four years. I love this game, its characters, story, EVERYTHING so fucking much. I’m like a billion pounds in debt to it also. I will be homeless but at least I will have my big ass heromari collection.

PMMM/ Madoka Magica- my favourite show! Consisting purely of sparkles and sunshine!!!! Why are you crying??? I’m sure not!!!!

DDLC/ Doki Doki Literature Club- another favourite of mine!!! I see a well-written cast of characters I deeply relate to go through extreme horrific horror beyond any of their comprehensions and I’m SOLD!!!

Coraline- the horrors are all consuming, but at least it’s both a visual and extremely well-written treat!!!!

TADC/ the amazing digital circus- won’t lie, watched this show when the pilot dropped and LOVED it, but forgot about it after a while as it didn’t stick with me. Then episode three came out and I’m now reduced to a blubbering mess whose brain is now significantly comprised of two fictional chess pieces. What happened? I don’t know. Send even more help.

LITTLE GUYS THAT HURT MY BRAIN SOMETIMES

Petscop

Fnaf

BATIM/ bendy and the ink machine

BSD

Deltarune

Undertale

Hawaii: Part II

SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE IM PROBABLY FORGETTING LIKE 20 AND ALSO HAVE LIKE 20 STILL TO DISCOVER

HOBBIES?!2!2!

Ya!!!! :D

Art

The main thing I do on my silly little page!!

…in which the art is mostly unfinished doodles… but that’s okay!!!! We ball anyway

YOU CAN SEND THE CLEG REQUESTS!!!!! ALL DAY ANY DAY UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!!!! Do not expect premium quality though lmao. (And also nothing related to DNI. Shouldn’t have to say this but. Uh. Yeah)

You cannot yet commission the cleg :(

Writing

Currently on a writing hiatus and have been for a little while (5 MONRHS WHAT) but… i do!!!! That!!!! Aka I write fan fiction AGH

Mostly. Heromari stuff. Actually all heromari stuff. I think I have one fic that isn’t heromari and it’s one I co-authored I love them your honour…

Yeah

DNI

Bit of a bummer, but I gotta set my boundaries to keep the weirdos out!! That being said, do NOT interact with my blog whatsoever if you:

Are a shotacon, lolicon, proshipper, pedo, etc etc etc. (yucky. Yuck yuck yuck. Fuck off)

Are homophobic

Are transphobic

Are aphobic/ arophobic (why. Why are you even still here)

Queerphobic in general actually get OUT!!!!

Actively shit on any of my main interests. Like ACTIVELY go out of your way to tell me how bad it is (what. What is the point. Just go)

POST ANY NSFW FULL STOP!!!!!!! (I am EXTREMELY sex repulsed and have been especially lately, I will block you on SIGHT)

Are racists/ xenophobes

There is likely LOTS more I’m forgetting so I will update this later… also just saying I reserve the right to block ANYONE no matter if you fit into this criteria or not. If I don’t vibe with you I will politely block you and look the other way!!! No theatrics required

Anyway with all the negative stuff out of the way… I really hope you enjoy my blog!!! I’m just here to have fun honestly and express my ideas and passions and work on a little page of the internet so!!!! Hope you have fun too!!!! :D

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opinated-user · 1 year ago

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as always, let me make one of my lists to respond to each part i marked in red. 1. "a groomer". i have proof of LO grooming someone. here and here in all of these flirty interactions ginger was a minor, 17 at her oldest and 15 at her youngest, while LO was a fully grown adult past her 20 who did absolutely nothing to put any kind of boundary. i don't care that ginger wouldn't call this grooming. i don't care what kind of relationship ginger has with LO now. letting a child to flirt with you, ask you that kind of suggestive question, to be aware about your sexual preferences and still interact openly with them, no caring about them being a minor, is grooming. there's not nuance to be had here. LO was the adult. it was her responsability to stop all of this and she didn't. that's why she's a groomer.

2. "a racefaker". i have proof of that too. LO's own words. the fact that she was never in close relationship with her grandpa nor ever bothered to reach out to her aunt, who is a respected and very still alive member of the Nation, an activist for indigenous issues. the fact that she'd disrespect her "heritage" as to claim that a cheap trinket literally created by a white colonizer was a "family heirloom" left by that grandpa, and still decided to use that while stripping for youtube, quite literally sexualizing this supposed "heritage" of her. i still have the screenshot of that one, LO. do you want me to share it again? the fact that she'll openly admit she never contacted anyone from that Nation and has no intention whatsoever to actually participate of that culture, no intentions of even being part of that community, making any claim of "wanting to reclaim my heritage" utterly meaningless. 3. LO is calling "murder" when Courtney defended herself from a pregnant woman that attacked her in a shelter and later misscarried, although neither LO or Courtney know for sure if the assault caused the misscarriage. Courtney was mentally unstable and was attacked. he defended himself. LO has said before that the only way to deal with bullies was to grab the heaviest object you could find and beat them with it. when you beat people with heavy stuff, they tend to get hurt. but now it's a bad thing to do just that, when she can use it against the sibling that is accusing her of molesting them for almost a decade since they were children.

oh, and i guess we're meant to also forget that LO also threatened a pregnant woman with a knife made by her. twice. on the same day. "but those are all Courtney's word". exactly. the defending themselves from that woman is also Courtney's words. nobody would know about it if Courtney didn't say it. so... what? are we meant to take Courtney's word seriously only when it comes to bad things that they did years ago, that nobody can confirm, but conveniently put all of the doubt of the world whenever it comes to talk to the things LO did? no, you don't get to do that. you don't get to play that card. either we believe Courtney's words or we don't. you don't get to pick and choose which parts were totally real and totally happened and which are lies just to get attention, especially when those "lies" just so happened to be the most convenient for you. so let's imagine that Courtney did lie about you in order to get attention. why are you suddenly believing her about this? for all you know, she's lying about that too to get attention again.

4. "molestation". oh. oh. so now it's bad when a child touches another? so now that's evil? now that's molestation? when it was about LO touching Courtney it was all about "i was 7, no, 6, i mean 5, therefore you can't hold me accountable for that, you can't hold that against me as an adult, i was horrifically abused" and "even if i did that, i was a kid, even if i did, it was only because i was abused, even if..." when LO is the one touching Courtney as a child, we can't hold that against her because they were kids and "even if i did that", she was abused. we conveniently leave out the part in which LO continued to do that for years, almost an entire decade, everytime this comes up. you can't hold kid LO accountable for molesting and coercing her younger sibling because they were kids, because "even if i did that" LO was abused anyway. but Courtney touching a child when they were a child and stopping out of their own volition is molestation, something you do have to hold against the 30 year old person of today. even though Courtney also claims to have been horrifically abused by people who weren't even LO. no, coming from them, that's evil. when Courtney is the one doing it. just like you can't blame a 6 year old kid for anything wrong ever, but you absolutely can blame 6 year old Courtney for not stopping an adult predator from abusing kid LO, even though back them they didn't had the words, the power or the knowledge to do anything about what was happening to them. again, you can't pick and choose which parts of Courtney's stories are true and which are lies when those "lies" conveniently are the parts that paint you in a bad light. for the record, again, in case anyone was wondering. no, i'm not going to actually blame a 30+ year old adult for something they did as a kid barely older than a toddler. if you want me to do that, i don't know what to tell you. your age doesn't even have two digits, some kids didn't even learned to speak at that age, so many can't go to the bathroom alone. if LO had only touched Courtney when they were that small and then stopped out of their own volition, my tone would be a lot different when speaking about this. kids do stupid things, they hurt each other all the time because they don't know what they're doing, and that's talking about children without any history of CSA. when you do add CSA, it gets even more complicated. but LO didn't stop. LO continued on until she was physically unabled to keep going. she continued on fully knowing what she was doing and tried to groom Courtney into "consenting" to it. not happy enough with that, LO then continued to keep fantasizing about a kid version of her sister who would have consented. she continued on to romanticize incest, going so far as to actually defend it as a whole in videos. she continued on to groom a minor to later date her. she continued on to normalize sexualizing herself for her audience that she fully knows has minors. she continued on to put the minors on her audience at risk by not dennouncing predators who're quite literally targetting minors. i bet you thought i forgot about that one, LO. i bet you thought that we'd all forgot about that time we spend days begging you to dennounce sparky and you did nothing, simply because sparky was feeding you the narrative that you wanted the most at the time. this happened this year alone, LO. this year, with you as a fully grown 31 year old woman. that's where you can't blame abuse anymore. all of that was a choice that LO took and one she deserves to be called out for. also... how interesting that when LO is the one being accused of molestation, that's only more evidence that she was abused so she's blameless in the whole situation. but when Courtney is the one doing it, that's no sign of any abuse she went through. that's not more reason to believe him when it comes to what Cameron did to it. no, it was evil. simply because. because Courtney "never suffered anything", right?

are people seriously not seeing how blatantly convenient this narrative is? do i really need to come out and point out the obvious double standard?

5. LO suddenly caring about hypocrisy, ngl, is just hilarious. the same woman who spent years telling people that she doesn't care if she's an hypocrite, as long she's right. the same woman who has insisted over and over again that accusations of being "hypocrites" mean nothing because that doesn't contradict what they actually said.

but now it does, when the "hypocrites" are accusing her of knowingly hurting and abusing people as a fully conscious older person. futhermore, what hypocrisy even? none of us truly accused kid LO of being a monster of pure evil who was acting out of pure malice. that was never a thing. we accused the adult LO and teen LO of doing things that she knew were wrong and harmful to other people. we accused the adult LO of grooming, of lying, of abusing, of being a horrible person when by all means she should know better by now. i have lost count of how many times me and other people in this blog have said that LO didn't deserve to suffer the abuse she went through as a child, that we do feel for that kid that could have end up a lot better if only they were placed in a better home, if they received actual help. we always felt for that little kid who was broken and hurt before they could even understand what was happening to them. both Courtney and LO. this is not saying that we're beyond fault or "virtuous" in any kind of way, because that's just basic normal human compassion. anyone should feel bad when hearing about children being abused because no children ever deserves that. not condemming an abused child for acting in the same way many abused children do, when they don't have an actual idea of what they're doing, is not hypocresy. it's just sad and painful.

6. "there has never been an accusation against me that wasn't anything but hearsay". but when it's an archived video of you saying the things we accuse you of saying, it's AI. when it's an archives, it's still lies. when Patch literally has a bunch of receipts about you paying him for zoophilic artwork and his screenshots clearly show your discord username, that's still lies. when i can show screenshot of you stripping with that "family heirloom" for youtube and anyone can clearly see it's your face, that's still lies. when we have video evidence of you doing the thing we accuse you during streams (like emotionally abusing your wife), that doesn't matter. the evidence is out there. our blogs are filled to the brim with it. end of story.

7. "i have never done a damn thing wrong my entire life"

there she goes again, overcompensating in her attempt to present herself better than she is. it is overcompensating because everyone has done things wrong in their life. everyone. you're not a bad person for doing a thing wrong in your life, you're just a person learning to live in this world. but LO can't have that, she has to be the biggest victim in the room, the goodest one possible, and everyone can only be irredeemable monsters that only deserve death. this is so nakedly telling, it's just funny.

#lily orchard #courtney orchard

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