#sure some of you guys would fuckin love that shit lmao

[biioniic-biiohazard]

should start posting videos off my old 2007 camcorder from trips with kurt tbh because i watched the first one ive taken since using it and its so fucking fun i forgot how much i love doing this shit aaauuughhh i need to get a new sd card for it since it didnt have one in so i could only fit like one video but i should start a tag for these videos in the future if hes alright with me posting em :)

[gothghostiie]

In the spirit of Christmas approaching, and as someone who prefers making gifts to buying them (for many reasons, the main two being that I love making things and forcing ppl to look at them and that I’m fuckin broke lmao), how do u think the 141 lads would react to receiving a gift from their spouse that was made by them? Like a drawing, something they knitted/stitched, or even a sculpture?

using this as my merry Christmas post so

merry Christmas and happy holidays yall<3 I hope ur having a great time and enjoying urself, sending much much love, mwah <3

cw: fluff, gn!reader + bonus what they would gift you

Price is a sucker for that stuff. handknit sweater? he'll wear that thing until it's barely more than a thread. nothing more cozy than something someone handmade with love specifically for him, nothing will ever be as comfy. that goes for anything handmade, he'll treasure it until he can't. nothing makes him feel more loved than anything handmade. hes has a hard time gifting things usually and will flat out ask and get what you asked for, but also add some stuff that he thought you might like. huge fan of practical gifts.

Gaz absolutely adores anything you make yourself, especially decorative items. paintings, stitching, sculptures, little trinkets, adores all of it with his whole heart. will keep everything with him, everything around the house/apartment. and he notices is somethings missing too, absolutely upset until he finds it again. he immediately finds a place for whatever you gave to him. kyle isnt really the one to gift materialistic things (sure, you get some jewelry or those new headphones you wanted) but he always gifts creative dates that he takes you on.

Soap is also a sucker for anything handmade. is a huge, huge fan of handmaking presents himself (he mostly draws, will 100% gift you a drawing too) and loves receiving them just as much. your skill level doesn't matter one bit, whether it be a patchy painting, a wonky mug or a sweater with holes, he'll proudly wear/display it and make sure you know just how much he loves it. as I said, you'll get a drawing - probably a portrait he secretly drew of you while you were doing the most mundane shit ever and he couldn't help but think you're gorgeous.

ghost is a secret christmas lover imo. colourful lights, christmas tree, sinple deco. he doesn't really want/ask for gifts, tells people there's nothing he wants when they ask. but listen: handmake him a balaclava. that man will propose to you on the spot. I'm so serious. appreciates any gifts he gets, especially handmade, keeps saying you shouldn't have, but that will make him fall hard. hes the type of guy where you think youll get a gift card at best, but you get almost anything you wanted but didnt get over the year. that cute mug? that sweater? those earrings? all yours, he remebered.

[prouddogboi]

Stray dog (Part 1)

To find the most recent chapters, please go to @doggoboigaugau 's masterlist

Pairings: Ghost x Soap x Male Reader

Summary: Male Reader is traumatized and forcefully refuses affection from Ghost and Soap even in his sleep.

Word count: 1852

Warnings: It's my first time posting my writing on Tumblr. There are so few CODxM!Reader fics I just want to contribute lmao TToTT. The warning is it can be shit because I'm new.

It was a successful mission. A tough one, yes, many soldiers got serious injuries and had to spend days in the hospital, but still, the mission was accomplished with minimal loss. The people at the base decided to throw a party at a well-known bar in the area. As usual, you stayed close to your team, until they left you all alone again for whatever they were up to: Ghost and Soap went into the dark corridor doing ‘secret’ business except for the fact that everyone knew what that business was; Price meeting up with the Captains of other teams, talking about the ‘kids’ in their care like the good ol’ tired dads and moms they all were; Gaz hitting up on some pretty guy or girl; and Roach just immersing himself in the music on the dance floor. 

“The usual shot?” The bartender smiled at you. He was an ordinary-looking guy, not too tall, not too short, but he was always nice to you.

“Yeah.” You replied, eyes looking down at the empty glass in your scarred hand. Your usual shot was one of the heaviest types served at this bar, you found its bitter, stinging taste and the dizziness it brought about worked wonders for you, helping to repress the strong emotions that always came up to the surface to trouble you whenever you were off the field, whenever you were not having to fight between life and death. Free time and a mind that was offered the opportunity to relax were not something you felt grateful for. Instead, you loved being constantly stimulated when being in battles, since it left your mind no time to overthink unnecessary things other than trying to keep yourselves and your teammates alive.

“A successful mission, huh? Everyone is enjoying themselves a lot tonight.” The bartender said, clearly trying to keep talking to you as he was preparing your drink.

“It was.”

“Did you get injured?” 

“Just some scratches, nothing serious.”

“You seem to do your job very well.”

You did. You were a good soldier. An excellent one even. You were showered with praise from the Captain, the teammates, the higher-ups… just anyone after almost every mission. Even Ghost himself had to admit that you were a good one. However, you didn’t know for sure what made you excel while most others didn’t. Maybe it was because every mission you paid no mind as to whether you would be alive or not. It was true that everyone in this line of work had to come to terms with the notion of death upon themselves, no one could be sure how many days they got left on this planet doing this kind of job, but you were still different. You weren’t actively trying to get yourselves in situations that would get you killed, because it often meant a great threat to your teammates too, but you were not one that would hold on to life that much. You were always ready to sacrifice.

“I notice that you’re always alone. Well, the others do join you, but after a while, they leave and you’re still here.” The bartender passed you the shot.

“They have things to do.”

“Why don’t you? Getting out there and having some fun.”

Fun? It did not sound fitting to who you were. “Thanks for the suggestion, but I prefer it this way.”

“By the way, can I ask for a guy’s number? The one with the mohawk.”

“You mean Soap?” You left out a soft chuckle, “Give up, mate. He already has a partner. A scary one.” 

“Who?”

“The fuckin’ huge one with the skull mask. I’m sure you know well who he is and how scary he is.”

“What? That guy? I’ve always thought he’s into you though.”

This time you laughed out loud. The thought of someone interested in you was just so ridiculous, it felt surreal and impossible, “Ain’t no way, why would you think that?”

“He always looks at you with those piercing eyes, as if he will eat you up in no time.”

“Probably it’s because the Soap guy is always leaning over me. He’s so mad that I dare to get that near to his precious partner that he just wants to end my life right here.” You drank up the whole glass in one breath, then smashed the now empty glass on the bar, resulting in a huge ‘thump’ sound, mainly due to the fact that it was your fist that came into contact with the wooden material. It sent a burning feeling to your skin and fresh, but it was nothing compared to the physical pain you had to endure in battles or the mental one off field, when your mind was free to drift away. 

“Could be. But I still think he is into you.” The bartender shrugged, knowing you so well that he went ahead to prepare another shot for you. Nights like this often led to you drinking non-stop until you were so drunk that you’d pass out, and that masked guy was the one who carried you back. That was another reason besides the intense glare that made him convinced that the guy was attracted to you. Well, the hot man with the mohawk was always there too, but he usually waited in distance and smiled at how the masked guy having trouble carrying you as you thrashed around in his arms, clearly too drunk to know that he was just helping you. But the bartender only thought that the mohawk and the masked guy were close friends. Now that you mentioned it, it was indeed possible that they were in love with each other. 

Wouldn’t that make a love triangle though? The bartender threw a glance at you, studying you with amusement. Everyone loved some drama in their mundane lives. You were a handsome boy with sharp facial features, those damn bright eyes that lit up the whole place when you genuinely smiled, and all those strong muscles. He would’ve asked for your number instead if that scary big masked man wasn’t into you that much.

A few hours passed and the party came to its near end. All those smiling and laughing soldiers slowly hopped on the vehicles, making their way back to the base, clearly not wanting to wake up a mess the day after. They still had training as usual after all. One didn’t seem to care though. You collapsed on the bar, your handsome face grew red with how drunk you were and how much alcohol your body had absorbed. Ghost and Soap assured Price that they would bring you back safe before the tired dad of your Task Force got in the car with Gaz and Roach. They didn’t usually drink too much when they were off base, but you were quite the opposite. The team had no idea why you would pour so much alcohol into your mouth and stomach on these occasions, it was like you were grieving over something rather than celebrating the good news of a successful mission. Everyone in this line of work had their own past and troubles, but there was indeed something different in your troubles as they never felt that you were comfortable to open up. Soap even joked a lot about how much harder it was to get closer to you than Ghost. It was true that you were always smiling, chatting, and gossiping with him and Gaz and Roach over stupid things, but there was this invisible wall that you had built around your heart, unwilling to let anyone in. 

Ghost and Soap got to the bar where you were lying. 

“Come to get him?” The bartender was cleaning all the glasses that you and some other regulars used.

Ghost looked at you as your eyes were tightly shut, clearly not happy with your current condition, “Maybe next time don’t let him drink too much.”

The bartender raised his hands, “C’mon, I’m just serving my customers. He appears to need those shots to handle whatever emotions he’s having.”

Ghost and Soap turned their head to look at each other for a few seconds before Ghost stepped up and got you off the bar. You were too drunk to know anything, but surprisingly tonight you were very silent and cooperated well with your Lieutenant. 

“Let’s take you back to your room, huh?” Ghost was content with this sudden change and Soap just casually used his strong hand to rub your neatly cut hair. 

As Soap parked the car in the base's park, Ghost threw one of your arms over his shoulder and carried you off the vehicle. However, your tightly shut eyes suddenly opened, they widened as you turned your head left and right to make sense of your surroundings. 

“You’re up early.” Soap said jokingly.

“He’s too drunk to understand your stupid sarcasm, Soap.” Ghost scoffed. 

However, it took both men aback when they heard you sobbing. Soap was quick to cup your face with his palms, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, sobbing almost uncontrollably, trying to get your face out of his grip. One of Ghost’s arms went to your waist in an attempt to hold you in place and calm you down, but you started to act the usual way when you were drunk: thrashing around hysterically, as if you were striving so hard to escape from something inescapable. 

“Let go of me!” You screamed.

“Y/n, calm down, calm down! It’s us! Ghost and Soap!” Soap tried to talk some sense into the heavily drunk you.

“Stay away from me!” You didn’t seem to listen. Feeling Ghost’s grip was still firm around your body, you got more and more violent. Screaming and kicking, you definitely hurt him in the process as you finally succeeded in getting away. You stumbled a few steps on the cold cement ground before you collapsed on it due to the perfect dizziness that you hoped the shots at the bar would gift you. You curled into a ball, trembling violently yet not from how cold the ground was. Shuddering sobs still escaped your lips, and your eyes were tightly shut again. Price and Gaz hurriedly ran to where you three were, their eyes filled with worry given how loud and heartfelt your screams were (Roach didn’t come with them because he also drank too much). The two men saw Ghost and Soap standing beside you, their arms were hanging in the air as if they were holding on to something, while you were there, laying on the ground sobbing and mumbling unintelligible words. 

Luckily you quickly fell asleep again, still sobbing but unconscious enough for the men to carry you back to your room. They tucked you nicely into your bed, watching over your now peaceful sleeping face. Soap wiped the tears left on your cheeks with his hand, his mind questioning the reasons why you reacted so fiercely to them taking care of you earlier. When you finally stopped sobbing, they carefully left your room. There were things to be discussed, but they could wait.

to be continued bc I have class tmr and I need to sleep :D

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAZBIN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKENFKCMKWJRKFNSMSMDMSMDN-

Okay. Okay deep breaths. Time for some cool and collected comentary. Okay.

Putting it under the cut so ppl can avoid spoilers :)

HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD!?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?!?!?!?!? FUCKIN PLOTTWIST OF THE CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?

Huskerdust my beloved

SIR PENTIOUS MY BELOVED

Vox was great. I love him he's so fucking cool-

If Vox wasn't already a Tumblr sexyman he's definitely gonna be one now. He's so fucking Onceler coded it's insane.

Velvette was amazing too. It's so funny that she's British lmao I was not expecting that

Velvette is also very Anne Boelyne(like from SIX not from Real Life) coded it's wild. Her part in that song with Carmila was giving so much Don't Lose Your Head

I swear I'll stop comparing them to other characters I SWEAR

Okay but me and my brother are working on a Hazbin Hotel swap AU where we swap the main cast with the overlords and in that AU we swapped Husk and Vox. The Husk used to be an overlord reveal is gonna make that AU soooooo much easier lmao

ADAM IS REALLY GOOD I promised I would stop comparing to other characters but he was giving SO MUCH Hades from Disney's Hercules like its insane

I think we should let Alex Brightman sing rocj and roll more often that song was such a fucking BANGER

SPEAKING OF THE SONGS- oh my god I love the soundtrack so fucking much-

Stayed Gone was a lil less hype then I was expecting but thats okay cuz it was still a banger and I loved the visuals

That song battle between Carmilla and Velvette????? Oh my god??????

Carmilla and Vaggie's song was also amazing but I think I know why they didn't have Stephanie Beatriz sing her own song in Elena of Avalor y'know, girl cannot hold a character voice while singing

LOSER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD- I love Huskerdust so much. I love Keith David so much. Blake Roman is such a phenomenal Angel Dust.

SPEAKING OF all the voice actors are amazing. Blake Roman, Brightman as Pentious and Joel Perez were the ones I was the most worried abt but I loved all their preformances so much it was fucking fantastic

Valentino can go die in a fucking hole <3

The other Vees are cool and fun to watch but I hope Valentino fucking dies

Okay to be fair he's also fun to watch when he's not in the same room as Angel Dust but tHAT DOESNT SUPERSEID MY HATRED FUCK 👏 THAT 👏 GUY 👏👏👏👏

Speaking of the Vees tho I do love their dynamic

My favorite episode was probably Radio Killed the Video Star bcuz of mY BOYS PENTIOUS AND VOX!!!!!!!!

And the most painful episode to watch was- no surprise- Masquerade

That episode was a fucking rollercoaster Jesus fucking Christ...

Those scenes with Angel and Valentino where so fucking visceral... like. Who the fuck wrote that. Who are you. Are you okay. Do you need help-

Tho I'm not sure abt how they're handling the ah- more serious bits of Angel's character. It is WAYYYYYY to early to tell and I think Loser wasn't like. Trying to downplay the situation. But the writers better have been careful moving foreward bcuz I can def see a world where Angel's arc goes very wrong very fast-

Also while we're criticizing: wasn't a fan of the pacing. Especially in episode two. Like I can look past it, but the way they breeze past some plot points kinda bugged me

Otherwise it was sooooooo fucking good man oh my god

THE HUMOR WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BEEEEEE PPL NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON THE COMEDY IN THESE SHOWS MAN-

The gag where Niffty just fucking stopped thinking every time the camera turned on was so fucking good

Niffty in general was really fuckin funny

Alastor was a lot less prominent of a character then I thought he would be but tbh I think that's for the best. He's like Discord from My Little Pony, fun in small doses but if you don't set perameters for how often he appears and when he's willing to help it kinda breaks the show

Chaggie is adorable and I love them <3

I think this show does a really good job balancing the focus on the whole cast! These first 4 episodes seem to be pretty Charlie, Angel and kind of Vaggie heavy but everybody still gets their fair share of attention!

THE ANIMATIOJ OH MY GOD- IT WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL IM LOSING MY M I N D

Im going feral IM GOING FERAL THIS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS AKFNVKKENFEKFNDN

I love comedy. I love musicals. I love drama. I love silly characters. I LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!!

It's like the South Park movie but longer and better animated and IVE BEEN WAITING FOUR FUCKING YEARS-

Just. So excited overall. Can't wait to see where it goes. May make more posts abt my thoughts in tbe future.

[goblin-king-jay]

i recently rewatched all of the unsleeping city and am now onto unsleeping city chapter 2, and you know what

i used to think of cody as a joke, the dorky sword kid, but i forgot how absolutely fucking real he was

if i had been the person i wanted to be when i was a teenager, i would've ABSOLUTELY been a cringey overenthusiastic goth kid like cody walsh is.

i'm on episode 2, where pete turns the devil that cody sold his soul to (very quickly and willingly lmao) into a chest tattoo for him, and murph is like, "cody never smiles and so he's trying SO HARD not to smile right now". cody tries to be SO CHILL about the fact that he just found out less than 24 hours ago that MAGIC IS REAL and DEVILS ARE REAL and he meets these awesome fucking adults, one of whom takes the devil he sold his soul to (again, he offered his soul to this devil immediately) and turns it into a CHEST TATTOO with MAGIC.

I would be fucking LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND if that happened to me as a senior in high school. Cody, and Murph by extension, truly is all of us fuckin nerdy kids from high school who wanted to swing swords around and wear spiked collars and (bleem tim curry voice) CHAIN WALLETS and just like

IMAGINE if you were cody walsh!!! I would be vibrating out of my fucking SKIN by then. I would want to hug Pete and never let go.

"no one has ever been this happy. this is just fucking -- normal stuff --" for you guys, he probably meant to say, because he's so overwhelmed by these 2 grown-ups he just met who like, give a shit and want to know what his deal is and help him for some reason?!? they don't even want anything from him they just??? genuinely want to help him out of the fucking goodness of their hearts???

that would have turned me religious on the SPOT I would believe in magic and the power of friendship more than ANYONE like goddamn. I would be like k / dream / karen tanaka (the cutest fuckin name btw erika ishii ilu) like, trying to have a dark aesthetic but right below the surface i would be squealing like a fangirl in a puffy pink dress.

ANYWAY cody is trying to be SO CHILL around these badass adults who are very blasé and normal about this whole magic thing so he's trying to match their energy and be chill

and ally is laughing their ass off, loving murph pulling faces like he's trying so hard to not smile it's like his face is spasming, but then they get into character and take him SO seriously and when cody says thank you Pete is just like, "for sure man i got you."

i love ally so gd much for that, like. because now i can also see the situation from pete's perspective of this fucking edgelord kid who you just want to ruffle his hair or something but he's SO CHUFFED because MAGIC IS FUCKING REAL but he matches cody's energy and is just like for sure dude, we're very cool and chill about this because bros don't show emotion or whatever lmao. it's so cute I love them and can't wait to re-experience how their friendship evolves over the season.

anyway if you got this far thank you for reading, I wrote this while high and just felt screaming about cody walsh.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 410: Kacchan Fights a Baby

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was born and then he grew up and murdered the Demon Lord.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan fights a baby. Tomura and Deku finally remember that they were supposed to have been fighting too this entire time, and get on with that once again. Tomura is all, “[literally just reaches out and grabs Deku’s face because Deku’s main character powers suddenly abandoned him in a fit of confusion].” Deku is all, “[chops off Tomura’s fingers which is somehow not even in the top twenty of violent things that have happened in this series in just the last five chapters].” Tomura is all “joke’s on you I still got your quirk :D” and fuck me he actually stole Danger Sense, what the fuck.

logically I knew AFO still had to be alive somehow because he’s too big of a villain to go out that easily without a proper sendoff. but deep in my heart, I’m still secretly disappointed

it just isn’t fair, lol. this guy has died more times than Rasputin and he’s still out here scheming his schemey schemes. when oh when will it end

sir you did not just say you had yet ANOTHER unused trump card up your sleeve??

(ETA: the translation isn’t fully clear here, but I think the trump card he’s referring to is the whole “I’ll just go back inside him and join the part of me that was already in there and we’ll take over Tomura’s body again together” plan that he was trying to pull off. I think. if not though, that’s certainly something worth speculating about.)

well as always the psychology in this series is unironically fascinating! he just wants acknowledgement at the end of the day, huh. just wants some love and attention. too bad he was born in a rat-infested hellscape and learned all the wrong lessons and turned into a crazed omnipotent murderlad

also he really did turn back into a baby sdfsdlkjfl oh no. I need to see Katsuki’s reaction to this immediately

oh my lord

(●__●)

lmao this is so incredibly fucked up

ngl though, this is karma at its finest. he tortured and killed so many people trying to earn everyone’s fear and awe and reverence, only to literally blip out of existence at the end with absolutely nothing to show for it

everyone please enjoy this series of panels of a deeply vexed Bakugou Katsuki picking a fight with this slowly melting evil baby

“you think I care that you’re a baby now. you think I won’t fight a fuckin’ baby. let’s do this you little punk”

also I’m sorry but it’s absolutely ridiculous that the gigantic chest wound Tomura inflicted on him got sewed up so neatly lol. AFO’s not the only one who stubbornly refuses to die no matter what

...

just once, it would be nice if Horikoshi didn’t immediately shred my plot nitpicks to pieces mere seconds after I write them

LMAO

BABY AFO DON’T CARE. BABY AFO WILL THROW HANDS WITH ANYONE ＼(｀0´)／

KACCHAN MY BELOVED FAVE OF ALL TIME, ARE YOU REALLY ABOUT TO LOSE TO A LITERAL FUCKING INFANT

WHAT HAPPENED TO “PERFECT VICTORY” LMAO. MOVING THE GOALPOSTS EVEN AS HIS CONSCIOUSNESS FADES. “EH, CLOSE ENOUGH”

-- OH FOR THE LOVE OF --

me: wow it sure is uncharacteristic of Katsuki to just pass out before he properly wraps up this battle

Horikoshi: oh yeah good point, sure would be a shame if someone... IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSED THAT CONCERN ON THE VERY NEXT PAGE

me: ఠ_ఠ

ldskjflaksdjfkds

fdsfsdkf. “SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOR A MOMENT THERE I ALMOST FORGOT TO BEND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO MY WILL”

holy fucking shit. his body was all “um, just a quick reminder that you’re HORRIBLY WOUNDED and have lost like ten gallons of blood and all of your cells are about to call an emergency meeting to shut this thing down before you get us all killed.” and he was all “WHAT WAS THAT?!” and his body was all “oh my GOD, FUCK, OKAY just forget we said anything”

and meanwhile Baby AFO is just lying there all “(◉⌓◉)”

this six-month-old child is truly and sincerely still trying to kill Kacchan while screeching death threats in high-pitched baby talk

this actually would have killed him too, if he’d succeeded in passing out. all that just to be punk’d by a damn baby

you are actually shitting me right now

at this point I’m genuinely not sure which of them has the more powerful angry toddler energy

oh no ffuffkdsfk

meeeeelting. meeeeeeltiiiiiing!!! oh what a world what a world

jesus Horikoshi I am genuinely speechless

... welp

WAIT NO WAY, REALLY?!?!

?!?!?! WAS IT ACTUALLY THAT SIMPLE THIS WHOLE TIME

-- lkjf

three times. three times in the same fucking chapter. I give up. apparently I’ll literally believe anything this man says. does it feel good, Horikoshi. preying on your readers’ hopeful naivete

yeefuckinghaw lmao

GOOD JOB KACCHAN YOU DEFEATED THE EVIL BABY

awwwww

I actually had a theory about this! well more of a wishlist item, really. I can’t remember if I’ve actually posted about it yet or not. but it’s like. you know how Deku and Kacchan are always being really dramatic about holding hands? wanting to hold hands; not wanting to hold hands; being afraid to hold hands; holding hands via proxy, etc. etc.?

and you know how both Endeavor and All Might have each done their own version of the victory pose that Kacchan is referring to here? with each one using a different hand?

so you see, I was thinking that it might be nice. might be a little poetic and all that. if at the end of the fight, Deku and Kacchan did, in fact, hold hands. and then did the victory pose together. and it became like their iconic hero moment. them standing there together. having accomplished their goal and defeated TomurAFO through teamwork. realizing their shared childhood dream. and sharing that moment of triumph with each other and with the world, ushering in a new era of heroes

anyway yeah. I was thinking that might be a pretty good ending. but it looks like Kacchan maybe really is about to pass out here now, lol, so maybe not? anyways time to finally scroll down

-- okay I literally said awww again out loud

what a fucking nerd. I have never felt more fondness for a character in my life

every damn person watching this on the news better have leaped to their feet and started applauding, goddammit. those motherfuckers better be CHANTING HIS FUCKING NAME. all those nagging reporters better be bombarding his phone with calls. those fuckers who deleted his footage from the Shouto interview better be shamelessly leaving him dozens of voicemails acting like none of that ever happened and presumptuously asking when he can free some time in his schedule to visit their studio again. all the heroes who haven’t hugged him yet better be lining the fuck up. that one guy from the post-kidnapping press conference in chapter 86 better be writing a fifty page letter of apology!!

oh hey it’s a random pre-battle flashback mysteriously taking place in Troy “a few days before the battle” even though I thought they only moved into that place the night before the fight

I love how Katsuki immediately narrows his eyes (I assume. we can’t see for sure but that’s the vibe I get) at Jeanist and has to resist the urge to call the police on him for that pun

so Hadou’s wondering what Jeanist is talking about because they already evacuated the civilians, so what else are they trying to protect. and Edgeshot is all, “well obviously we’ve gotta protect everyone’s future,” which is a nice... rearshadowing?? for him saving Katsuki’s life later on lol

and now Mirko is all “get to the fucking point already.” which, same

so Jeanist says that Tomura is an even bigger problem than AFO, because at least AFO doesn’t want to murder everyone on the entire planet. and he concludes with “he’ll probably try to touch the ground and use his quirk.” which is a conclusion that I have to say wasn’t really worth two pages of flashback buildup for, considering that we all figured that out years ago

I’m guessing this is all just some sort of awkward transition back to Deku’s fight now lol

and now we’re getting two pages of exposition on how long it would theoretically take Tomura’s Decay to spread throughout the city, and then the entire country, yikes

damn. talk about stakes

and now finally back to Deku!!

shoutout to everyone who correctly predicted that Deku was once again talking out of his ass when it came to being out of Gearshifts. we all knew. unlimited supply

wow Tomura way to throw AFO under the bus

the way I recall it, AFO wasn’t the one who failed to kill him back then lol. but go ahead and talk your shit king

DEKU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

holy shit?!?!

like my first thought was “well last time he did this he just tried to steal OFA rather than Decay him, so he’ll probably try that again and it’ll be fine.” only to remember that the AFO inside Tomura is currently permanently(?) out to lunch, and Tomura himself doesn’t give two figs about stealing OFA. so, uhhhh >_>

(ETA: nevermind.)

but then this happened

Deku what the actual fuck

OH MY GOD??!?!

HOLY SHIT

okay. okay, fuck. lemme gather up my thoughts, and then we’ll wrap this up

they’ll never admit it, but you know the other OFA Vestiges secretly resented Shino a tiny bit for being the only one of them to not be gruesomely murdered. bet they all feel guilty for thinking that now

Shino and Banjou also seemed to have this cute little pseudo-rivalry thing going on, so I really feel bad for Banjou now. :/ he looks so horrified in that bottom right panel

gotta admit, I did not see this coming in the slightest. OFA has been this immutable “I do what I want!” quirk for so long that I never thought Tomura or AFO would actually succeed in stealing it, even partially. that shook me to my core

BUT, it’s also really exciting to me because it’s going to make this battle much more interesting if Deku can’t use his get out of jail free card. shit just got way more real and I’m here for it

lastly, so! let me tell you guys my prediction. I still can’t see Tomura being the final villain lol. I just can’t. it feels too anticlimactic. if I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and I’ve certainly botched MANY predictions in the past, but I have not yet learned my lesson from any of it and I will not apologize lol

so here’s what I think. Deku and Tomura battle it out for the next chapter or two, and Tomura snatches up more of Deku’s quirks one by one. we see all of the Vestiges disappearing and the mood gets more and more desperate. eventually we’re down to just Kudou and Yoichi. Deku is panicking, but for some reason Kudou seems even MORE panicked

Kudou/Gearshift eventually gets stolen too, and it looks like this might finally be it for Deku (I have no idea how he’d stop Tomura from Decaying the ground once Blackwhip gets stolen, btw, but maybe Katsuki or someone else interferes in desperation towards the end). but just when it looks like Tomura is finally going to take the last piece of OFA, Deku’s vibes suddenly do a 180, stopping Tomura in his tracks

cut to the OFA Moon Gorgeous Meditation Realm, where Deku and Yoichi are staring at the door -- yes, that door -- in shock. because it’s finally been opened (now that the other Vestiges are no longer there to keep it at bay). and just like that, enter AFO, for the THIRD FUCKING TIME :D :D

tl;dr, HERE’S HOW HORCRUX!DEKU CAN STILL HAPPEN!!! wait where are you all going. wait come back

anyway so wow that was a really bizarre chapter that I truly thoroughly enjoyed, which should probably be a bit concerning. on to the next two week break! (for anyone who’s not aware, Shounen Jump will be on break next week, so yeah.) I’m on chapter 391 now. so close but still so far. the end of the year has gone by too damn fast tbh

[liedownquisition]

Jason Todd's timeline and "Age"

So, there's a lot of discussion of Jason Todd's age esp as relative to other sidekick vigilantes, particularly Tim and Mia. I believe the exact words are usually something about a "grown ass man beating up/trying to kill teenagers."

DISCLAIMER: This particular post is specifically regarding the "grown ass man vs teenagers" statement, I have posts regarding the "tried to kill them" portion and other stuff like "seriously Jason Todd is like being shot by a marshmallow gun compared to what goes on directly before and after him in these incidents, also you don't bitch about the right stuff, also a lot of you prop up characters who are Objectively Worse, and no that's not hate on your fave it's just me calling out hypocrisy". It just takes time to find digital copies of the panels I'm using. NOTE I AM NOT JUSTIFYING HIS ACTIONS. I'm just saying y'all blow it out of proportion for petty character hate. Like, shit, they're superheroes. Jason's soooo fuckin' tame. He's not even framed as a big deal to the teens it's only the adults that think it's that much of a problem.

Courtesy readmore post cut:

Now, to start off, we all know Jason died at 15 & a few months off from 16 (if you want me to dig up panels, sure, but I figured at this point that wasn't in question). Tim at this point is somewhere between 12-13, and we have this panel in Lonely Place of Dying which takes place a few months later:

So that's a ballpark of 2-3 years between Jason and Tim.

But Tim's age is really fucky and they keep de-aging him tbh. We can extrapolate that his confrontation with Jason was between the ages of 16-17 bcs it's after the arc where he has his incredibly shitty 16th birthday in Robin Vol2 #116 and before Red Robin where he's stated to be 17. This would put Jason between 18-19 at the time. (If you really want me to find panel sources for Tim's birthday and his age in RR then, sure, but I don't think they're necessary. I used it more as a guidepost for Jason's age, since we have a clear idea of what the age gap is.)

At least, on paper.

Mia for her part I've had a hard time finding like, on panel mentions of her age and if anyone can direct me to it being explicitly stated I'd love that. I'm rereading old comics but it's a LOT of comics to hunt down & dig through. To my understanding she was fifteen when Ollie first met her, and there's at Minimum of about a year and a half between that to her meeting Red Hood, more likely at least two? because there's at least few months between that and her joining the Titans, the Doctor Light stuff, then One Year Later, and then returned to Star some 3 months after Ollie came back to run for mayor? And then Jason not too long after. So, two years feels safe. Puts her at 17-ish, Jason at 19-20

Once again, I specify: on paper.

People would happily point out at this point that the upward stretch of a 4 year age gap is a "huge gap in maturity." And yeah, under normal circumstances, I'd agree.

But, and this is going to get contradictory bcs I found Two different timelines (BOTH written by Winick, lmao), and depending on how you read it it could be up to three different possibilities. Let's Start with Batman Annual #25: Daedalus & Icarus.

Timestamp before Jason's resurrection, which is pretty well known at this point:

Next, him waking up from a coma afterwards, when he escapes the hospital:

Now the above could be interpreted as either 1 year after he died if we're assuming that it's using the same "start" point to count as the resurrection (unlikely), or one year after he came back (more likely).

Next, the timestamp right before a guy recognizes him and sells him out:

And, finally, the timestamp before being put in the Pit:

That is, count it up, between 3-3 1/2 years where Jason was dead, in a coma, or otherwise not particularly... cognizant of the world around him. His ass is NOT developing emotionally, socially, or mentally like this, which pretty handily bridges the gaps there. Taken at face value, Jason's maturity level is going to be, unironically, younger than Tim's in the wake of these setbacks.

Now, if we go to Lost Days issue 1, it doesn't specify how long he was dead, nor how long he was in a coma, so we'll just carry those two over, what we DO have is this from just after Talia brought him home:

This puts him as being on the streets for five months, so we're at just shy of two years so far. And then we have this:

Which is right before Talia puts him in the Pit.

So, in summary: 6 months dead, 1 year coma, 5 months on the street, and something like 1-1 1/2 years with the League which...

Actually puts us on almost the exact same timeframe either way. 3 to 3 1/2 years. It just changes whether Jason was on the streets or with the League for longer.

And is utterly incomprehensible because comic timelines are a freaking nightmare.

If we're being generous, then that would put Jason at a minimum of 19, maybe toeing the line of 20 for UTRH, again, on paper, because like hell are you convincing me he did less than a year's worth of training abroad throughout Lost Days. Yeah maybe they trained him in fighting while he was catatonic, muscle memory and all that. But the other teachers that we KNOW of? The bombs, guns, probably something to get him up to date on handling all that tech we see him using, Egon, potentially arguably All-Caste if you want to draw from n52...

but you'd have to knock at least a year and a half off of his internal/personal development from death & coma, at minimum. Maybe you could argue he was somewhat developing while in his "the lights are on, but nobody's home" phase, you can't say it's at the same level as a normal person might when going about their day to day life, and it's difficult to measure. But he's not hitting the kind of milestones that he should be for his age. I wouldn't put him at anything less than two years behind. So if we use our upper estimates on Jason, and lower estimates on both the developmental setbacks and Tim/Mia's ages that gives us:

Jason toeing 20, mentally 18, fighting Tim at 16. 2 year gap, kind of stretching the physical age gap if we assume Tim had just barely turned 13 when he showed up to be Robin. - OR LESS

Jason maybe 21, mentally 19, fighting Mia at 17, two year age gap again. Honestly, still not that big of a difference - OR LESS

And, to be frank, that's not even counting the mental development issues that come from the intense physical trauma from dying - and I swear to fuck don't give me the "He's not the only one who died he's not special" speech.

HOW MANY OF THE OTHERS YOU'RE USING AS A GOTCHA LOST, *GESTURING AGGRESSIVELY ABOVE*, LITERALLY MULTIPLE YEARS OF THEIR LIFE.

Not counting adults, of course. Barry lost years, Hal lost years, Ollie I think also lost a couple years? but A) they came back still adults, bodies pretty much the same. B) While Jason's body didn't go through a magic growth spurt in canon, it did still grow esp while with the League.

I'll eventually get around to Titan's Tower & GA#72 (tbh, there are other people who've already done Titan's Tower and it'd probably be better than what I do, so I'm more going to focus on the latter, but there IS a specific part of the former that drives me nuts that I don't see brought up a lot), and maybe if we're feeling spicy all my issues with UTRH starting with how Winick is just as guilty of retroactively writing Jason as being inherently a bad penny since his Robin days as any of the other "modern" writers. Like, bud, Severe enough Head Trauma is legitimately enough to change someone's personality, not to mention trauma. It wouldn't hurt your narrative for that eerie difference, the Shade of What Once Was if you're really going for RH being Like that.

Final addition: I swear to god if you use my post to start up some kind of petty-ass ship war or flame other characters I will immediately turn off reblogs and replies I am Not Dealing With That Shit, please and thank you.

Anyways, @glitter-stained, your interest made me decide to actually put the work in now to pull it up rather than passively gather stuff to dump whenever discourse pushes me over the edge so, here ya are. Looks like you did have it closer on the mark than I did.

[archangeldyke-all]

(I honestly don’t know if my asks are getting in atp but im just gonna keep resending them if they get removed because I’m not a fucking wimp 🗣️‼️‼️)

______

Wait no because what if Sevika had a group chat with her coworkers and shit (Smeech, Ran, Renni, Silco, Finn, Signed, Dustin and ofc her lovely gf <3)

And at least once every two weeks there is ALWAYSSS chaos

Like; Sev and Finn could be arguing and then Ran pulls up with the fucking Curse of Ra 💀or Renni just uses the gc as a shopping list since she forgot to open notes and everyone is just like “Ren, wrong app 💀” or someone points out shit from her list HSHJERJD

PLEASE i'm gonna do the roach 'verse gang, because i think it would be insane.

men and minors dni

silco: if any of u have spare cash on u, bring it to my office and leave it on my desk. i'll pay u back tomorrow.

you: jinx, get off of silco's phone.

lock: fuck, that was jinx? i put ten on his desk!

sevika: idiot.

ran: LMAOOOO IDIOT

thieriam: shit, i put twenty bucks on his desk too.

you: jinx! how much fucking money did you steal?!

deckard: she got me too, that fucker.

ran: you are all so fucking stupid.

singed: just checked the office, the cash and jinx are nowhere to be found.

deckard: fuck!

lock: fuck

thieriam: oh fuck, silco's never gonna pay us back.

silco: no, i'm not. you should all know better by now. i would never use 'u' to type 'you'

ran: this is fucking hilarious

sevika: babe, what's for dinner?

you: you, if i'm lucky ;)

deckard: HELLO?? this is the gc??

sevika: stfu deckard.

ran: no but fr, what's for dinner, roach?

you: idk, i'm thinking chicken chili?

lock: ooooh, with cornbread?

you: sure, if you guys want.

lock: yes please!

ran: yes!!!

deckard: oh, yum.

singed: fuck, roach are you free?

you: yeah?

singed: i just sliced my hand open. can you come stitch me up?

you: lmao, i'm on the way.

ran: roach to the rescue!

sevika: put a heart in the chat if i'm the stupidest one in the gang.

deckard: <3

thieriam: <3

ran: LMAOO <3333333

you: <3

you: jinx, give sevika her phone back.

sevika: i'm gonna kill her someday.

sevika: babe, you put a fucking heart in the chat????

you: cant talk, stitching singed up.

silco: i'm sorry for jinx's behavior today. she's upset that she doesn't have her own phone yet.

lock: it's no fuckin fair! u guys get to talk all the time and i have to steal a phone to be in on the chat!

silco: jinx!

you: lmaoo jinx you can come play on my phone.

lock: fine.

lock: shit, i didn't even notice she took it until she gave it back.

sevika: she's a fuckin' weasel.

you: whats up assholes?

ran: hey jinx. what'd you buy with your stolen money?

you: more flamers. a few candy bars. a new jumbo plushy.

lock: you wanna share your candy?

you: no.

silco: jinx, at least share with the man you stole from.

you: ugh fine. they're in the kitchen lock.

lock: sweet!

thieriam: some of us are trying to work, can we please not abuse the work groupchat for not-work purposes

you: put a heart in the chat if thieriam sucks ass!

sevika: <3

ran: <3

deckard: <3

silco: jinx, what did i tell you about that kind of language?

you: i'm not jinx i'm roach.

thieriam: fuck off jinx, roach would never be so mean to me.

lock: <3

you: effective. Power. لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً h  ॣ ॣ ॣ

across from where you're finishing up singed's stitches, deckard gasps down at his phone.

"you fuck!" he exclaims, looking up at jinx where she's sitting beside you. she giggles.

"what'd you do this time?" you ask. she laughs and hands you back your phone, before running out of the lab.

"she shut all our phones down!" he says. "how the fuck did she do that?" he cries.

upstairs, you hear ran and lock's shared groan.

you chuckle and shake your head. "jinx you stupid fuck!" sevika roars from the second floor. you giggle.

"i better go handle that." you say, finishing your final stitch. singed chuckles.

"you better." he says as jinx's squeal floats down to the lab.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[lowkeyrobin]

hey! (just wanna say I really love your writing and especially the ones on mental health)

could I ask for more of the reactions to an Australian accent, but with the cricket crew instead? (those who are okay with x reader ofc)

tysm!!! have a wonderful day!

ah omg thank you 🫶🫶🫶 I've been working really hard esp on those ones + the fact I've always kinda struggled w mental health stuff so I rlly pour my heart out into those ; and he's of course!! sorry if I misunderstood you on that last one by the way LMAO ; gonna keep this as a oneshot tho because it was way easier than a preference format for some reason ; also I wish we got more freddie, tommy, tubbo & ranboo pics while we could 😔🙏

HANDSOME BROS ; australian accent

summary ; youre the only aussie in a group of british kids (and an american)

warnings ; language, lots of ball jokes (sorry tommy)

word count ; 1.4k

masterlist

Showing up for Tubbathon 2024 was a wild one.

Having your hand duct taped to Tommy's was also a whole thing in itself. At least you weren't working with Ranboo, who had no idea how to cook, unlike their poor partner Freddie. Recipe For Disaster was probably a horrible idea to join.

You and Tommy, Green Team, versus Ranboo and Freddie, Orange Team.

You'd never really talked on stream before. You either communicated through Minecraft signs or in-game chats. If you did speak, however, you'd often use a voice changer to make you seem a little more understandable, as you knew your accent was a bit difficult to understand sometimes.

You'd also met with your friends in real life before, of course, but you made sure the entire trip you strained your voice to sound a little more understandable.

But, now cooking with one of your long-time friends, the big guy TommyInnit himself, you didn't seem as worried or insecure when you spoke. I mean, you'd barely spoken, but you were in a comfortable environment - Tubbo's house - and were accompanied by friends you'd known for a long time now.

The stream had started and Tubbo had explained your rules, leaving the two groups to get to cooking.

"Hey, mate, can you hold the bowl while I stir the eggs?" You kindly ask Tommy, wriggling a whisk out of the jar between the stations.

The blonde blinks in silence, staring at you, "Your accent went 0 to 100 very quickly, Y/n/n" He giggles.

"Wait, what?" You glance about, feeling a little nervous as you plop the whisk into the measuring cup, needing to stir the eggs.

"Not in a bad way! Like, I never noticed your fuckin' accent was so, like, heavy before? You didn't sound like that last time we met up, or talked" He shrugs as he explains himself.

"Oh" You shrug, watching as he secures his free hand around the handle of the glass measuring cup. You begin to whisk the eggs, poking at the yolks to make it go a little bit faster. "I mean, I usually use a little voice changer to make me a little more understandable"

"Ohhhhh, wait, that makes sense" He nods, "Ow! Calm down, I'm not trying to get surgery on my wrist now!" He quickly pulls his hand away, feeling something pop.

"Shit, I'm sorry! Are you alright?"

He bites his tongue, nodding as you reach for his hand. "I'm good"

You gently grab his wrist, quickly and lightly kneading the area for him.

Ranboo looks up, seeing you two distracted in your green aprons. "They're taking a massage therapy break already" they comment, tapping Freddie on the shoulder.

"C'mon, man up, Tommy! You'll be okay" Freddie lightly smiles, cracking a few eggs over the measuring cup, which they'd just struggled to find.

"Dude, I just had surgery on my crowned jewels, I don't think I will!"

"Good God, help me now" You chuckle

Ranboo and Freddie go silent for a moment before the boy with the red hair speaks up.

"You weren't kidding about the voice changer, were you?"

You shake your head no, "Why would I lie about that, mate?"

The two shrug, hearing Tubbo fake yell at them for cheating since they were conversing with you. The four of you jokingly plan a rebellion that you'd put into place for later, deciding to focus on the food right now.

"Tommy, Tommy, the plate, not the floor! If you drop that I'll actually kill you"

"It's on the damn plate!"

Tommy quickly sets the pan down to help you fold the guacamole together, using his one hand to hold the bowl while you rushingly mix it all up. From the avocados to the lemon juice, you got it to a nice consistency, and, with a struggle, get a dab of it on the paper plate you were given next to the burrito.

"I think he's gonna like it either way, considering most of what he eats, he orders." You shrug, setting the bowl of guacamole down.

Tommy lightly laughs, "Yeah, that's true"

You were finished before the timer, luckily, however, Freddie and Ranboo were still working, using each hand to do their own tasks to work a little faster.

"Tubbo, can you understand me with my accent this thick?" You shout into the other room, purposely making your voice and accent sound a bit thicker to try and mess wirh him.

It's silence until he answers, like he needed to translate your words. "Barely!"

You and Tommy laugh, chatting away while the other group works.

"What's Australia even like? Just like... giant spiders and kangaroos?"

"Holy shit"

"I'm serious! It's not like I'm going anytime soon"

"Well, it's not that. It's like the UK but much warmer, and yeah, kinda scarier. It's like a real-life Better Minecraft mod"

"You guys have armored skeletons attacking you??" Tommy laughs as he teases you.

"I hate you!" You laugh

"I love how you say 'you', it sounds so dumb"

"It sounds like how you Brits say it!" You smile, using your free hand to try and fight him in a playful manner.

"Dumb in a nice way! Dumb in a nice way!" He shouts, trying to use his free hand to protect himself from the cat fight. "They weren't lying when they said you Aussies fight like wild animals, what's next, you gonna kick the shit out of me?" He asks, egging you on.

"I'm gonna kick you in the crown jewels if you don't shut up!" You joke, making him scream in terror, probably killing the viewers' ears as well.

He yelps, falling back as he drags you down with him, having slipped on himself.

"Tommy!"

"Ow!"

"Jesus Christ, they've broken each other's backs off that floor, I heard it" Freddie lightly laughs, holding the paper plate up for Ranboo so they could put the food on it. "I think Y/n's dead"

"Tubbo! We need the ambulance!" Ranboo laughs, "Get Eryn back here, they actually can't get up! The tied hands have impaired them tremendously"

"Tommy, just stand up!"

"My balls hurt!"

"Then let me stand up, I can't when you're holding your dick together!"

Eryn quickly rushes over, helping the both of you stand up slash getting Tommy to release his tied hand from his crotch. You help him up and pat him on the shoulder with your free hand as Tubbo wraps up the time.

In the end, your groups nearly tied, you and Tommy one point behind Freddie and Ranboo. Honestly, they did deserve the win.

"I still can't believe you fooled us with the voice changer, even changing your voice in real life. I swear, you sound totally different," Freddie lightly chuckles, freeing himself from the apron.

"In a good way, though" Ranboo adds, "Your accent is really fucking cool, trust me"

You lightly smile, freeing yourself from Tommy's sweaty hands. "Thanks- ow, holy shit!"

"You think that hurt?" The blonde teases, having ripped the rest of the duct tape of your hands.

"Piss off"

After the stream ended, Tubbo turned on some music while you guys cleaned up. He and Eryn were sorting out the lights, cameras, and microphone while the four of you cleaned up the kitchen. You decided to clean each other's messes, trying to make it a little more enjoyable, which none of you minded.

The music, picked my Tubbo himself, was an early 2000s hip hop mix, titled something like 'Greatest 2000s Hip Hop Hits' or something. And of course, Ranboo and Tommy were getting down to it, mostly leaving you and Freddie to do the cleaning while you laughed at them singing and dancing along.

Tommy was bouncing around, not focused on cleaning whatsoever as he tugs on your hand, wanting you to join in.

"Y/n, Freddie, cmon!"

"This isn't High School Musical, dude" You reply

"You deserve a break!" Ranboo shouts, pulling Freddie into whatever fucked up dance trapezoid you guys had going on.

You sigh and set down the cups you were washing and turn the water off. You spray the water from your hands on Freddie, starting a war as you join their little dance party.

Freddie gasps and smiles, throwing the little bit of water in the measuring cup at you in retaliation.

"Australian versus Brit! Who will win!?" Tommy shouts with a little laugh.

"Hopefully not the American"

You fake shudder and nod. "Yeah, I agree with that, Ranboo"

[fushiguroshotwife]

TOJI N!SFW ALPHABET

MDNI 18+

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ N!sfw alphabet of Toji fushiguro (my husband 4life) and a Huge Thanks to @sashi-ya my Love! For giving me this template<33 (luv u bae!)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Enjoy Loves!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Toji doesn't really seem that much of a aftercare type guy, he'll screw you n probably leave you breathless and tired to the point where you just want to sleep. He'll give you kisses on the cheek as a little tease afterwards though. He loves to make you think he's gonna make out with you or kiss your neck but then trick ya. You'd scream at him for it, but hey your too tired for that. But he'd probably give you something to drink and you both call it a night.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's an ass guy def. He plays w/ yo ass, Spanks it, puts his fingers in it, and he makes you sit on his face, he'll even force you to ride his cock like there's no tomorrow. And you loved sucking his big ass cock, Stroking it n stuff, you'd swear you Didn't cry when he gets real mean when in sex, but you're be a lier, n he knows it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Toji would cum in your mouth, ass, face, etc. He would have never let you be the first to have came, he'd make ya hold it until he's in ya.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Mama-megumi lmao.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Fuck yeah, he made megumi, so he definitely knew how to fuck. Most of the time though he'd just try something new even though if you would like it or not he wouldn't let you go without trying. He's not letting go without a fight, that's for sure.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy style and cowgirl definitely, but anything works for him, to be honest.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He would torment you, tease you, say some harsh things when doing it with you but he's definitely not the goofy type when Fuckin. If you would mess around he'd make you regent the day you wanted to say something 'funny' with him.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

This man has pretty spikey hair but not pointy so I'd say that's pretty easy to keep clean, plus, it's you getting ruined, not him, honey.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Not really 'romantic' at all, he's quite the harsh fucker, with his words too. He calls you pet names like "doll" "princess" "brat" "slut" "cunt" "whore" "bitch" "little shit" (Personally idgaf it's hot.)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh he Loves jacking off. Started when you tried your hardest to seduce him, let's just say he ruined you that night.. yeah..

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Toji has a huge daddy kink, loves it when you ride em' and I feel like he has a rape-play kink on him for sure.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Doesn't matter if you're busy, with friends, or in a open place, he'll find a way to make you helpless and needy for him ...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you whine, beg, scream, cry, whimper, moan. And whenever you call him "daddy" of course. Although moaning would definitely turn him on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing really, maybe when he's busy?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Definitely giving. That's all I have to say.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

ROUGH, definitely, but he's quite fast at the same time, very very rough and hard (like his dick hehe) mostly when it comes to thrusting.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Every night basically, whenever you're a brat and you want him to notice you then he'll give you one. He'll do quickies whenever he doesn't have enough time or gets bored sooner than later the night, he'll even do quickies in bars, shops, while your working, when he's bored, etc. He loves it when you're embarrassed if someone will notice in public.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he LOVES to take risks and try new positions, and he's a big fan of oral sex.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can do it all night long, it's a matter of you'll take it or not, because he's not the one to give up, never.

Hell, He'll even do it until you pass out. All night long he'd keep it up.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He's definitely Not a fan of toys, plus, his huge dick is enough anyway. But I feel like He would use hand cuffs on you sometime, maybe one night...

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

No matter what, he'll be teasing you all night long, the morning to night. He loves to torment, fluster, tease, and anything along the lines of that ordeal. He loves to see you flustered and embarrassed over his raspy voice.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

You. Are. LOUD.

But he'll shut you up by covering your mouth with his hands, or make you suck on his fingers, if you're lucky.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I know I already said this before, and I'll say it again, This man has a lil Rape-Play kink on him. And he would deny it. But someday he'll play out this grown man's weird fantasy. (With your consent ofc)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Uhh you want cock headcanons? Okay serving up ! He has probably nothing to offer but his Huge ass dick. But like- he built damn good—

6.3 inches tall

6.3 FUCKING INCHES—

okayy I love my husband and all but his dick gotta be the hairiest thing I've ever seen, and the prettiest of course, of course, his dick has ALOT of vains and his tip is a Dark pink or a kinda darkish pink, I can't really make up my mind okay? Sometimes it just changes.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not that tame, usually he doesn't give a fuck at all but if you're horny or wearing something sexy that day/night.. He'll fuck u till you bleed, fuck you till you cry bitterly. Doesn't matter, he'll even do it all night and grin like a psychopath.

Toji's mean. Like I said.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after a nice fuck, he'd probably lay on the bed and use your little body as a pillow to rest on, you'd probably put one of your legs over his leg and cling on to him like your life depends on it and hide your face in his tits as he strokes your hair and as you both fall asleep after a long tiring but good-night.

𓊈𝐑𝐞-𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𒆜𓊉࿐

FUSHIGUROSHOTWIFE2023/2024™ all rights reserved, do not translate, copy, use my layouts or ideas, do not repost my work even on different sites, do not steal any of my work. Do not claim any of my work as yours, like shit ain't nice. ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑

[djevelbl]

I sat for a second staring into my phone and pondering the blorbos bc of a shitpost and huh. Branzy really IS very much 2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.) by Will Wood coded isn't he??? like, most if not ALL of the song is SO him that it's INSANE. this only happened once before to me and the previous guy can't be my blorbo anymore bc of.... reasons, so I'm happy to have another silly little guy replace him in being SO coded after one of my favorite Deranged Songs /vpos

Ramble up ahead btw, read at your own risk

you KNOW the ramble is getting serious when I do the weird Tumblr Post Partition Thing AND went from writing it on the phone to WRITING IT ON THE PC (any lengthy post I write EXCLUSIVELY on the pc bc it's more fun and comfy for me lol)

The only line I can't in good faith say I relate 100% back to Branzy is LITERALY the second one, which is a bummer lmao — "Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth" but like. I'm throwing it out there for any other, more veteran Branzy fans to go rabid over as I have and maybe even also discover how it could be Branzy-ified bc I truly believe the WHOLE SONG can be Branzy-ified lol

SO ANYWAYS. MORE SONG LYRICS !!!!!

I specifically came to this whole thing bc of the fourth line in the song, "The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to" bc YES??? THAT'S SOOO BRANZY CODED?????? like the amount of fucked up shit /aff he's done in his videos is INSANE I mean he DID make a video where the WHOLE. PREMISE was breaking 100 irl laws in the Afterhours SMP lmaooo also I'm kinda tempted to break out the fuckin LYRIC MEANINGS for this as well — hmmmm...

fuck it, we live only once and life is too fucking short/shitty to have hangups over going insane about our little guys

So yea, fourth line is all about temptation, choices and a careless sentiment as one takes full responsibility for their actions — the Devil might've offered you riches, love, security in exchage for someone's head, but ultimately you're the one who takes that step forwards to answer the siren's call; Will Wood sings here about temptation and how, at the end of the day, you're the one acting upon that temptation, how that's a thing only you can be responsible for, and how he himself doesn't care much for the guilt the word "sin" carries with it; "we'll live the way we want, and we don't care if it's considered 'sin.'" — MarsAndTheGreatExpanse on the lyric explanation in Genius (yes, Imma be quoting some of these people. yes, I'm taking it THAT seriously). All of this is very much like Branzy to do: the most recent example I think would be the Candyland mod video, where he has SUCH BEEF with gingerbread men that it's just pathetic /aff at this point lmao — he goes around killing them and hating on them SO. HARD it's really funny. Of course, there's a difference between Will Wood singing this and Branzy fucking, idk, wanting Jimmy the Gingerbread Guy's guts spilled all over the Candyland floor in an overexaggerated candygore that would belong to none other than uhhhh fucking. idk danganronpa??? but like, suspend your disbelief and be down to clown with the insanity here for a minute, thanks <3

There's also his 100 IRL Crimes In Minecraft video, where he sold Kaboodle's soul WITHOUT HESITATION the moment he was prompted for it lmfaoo (he also did racketeering, extorsion, murder, created a fucking GANG WITH REDDOONS??? spread difamation [that really fucking wasn't. no matter what the cult leader uhhh wither skulls guy was saying], was distributing illegal substances I'm pretty sure, impersonated a cop, idk what else I might rewatch that video actually). There's also his 100 Hearts Factory, where he UNIRONICALLY made a fucking child labor joke with the villagers, and was busting up unions in there at some other point as well. There's whatever in hell he has with Clown bc if Branzy is UNETHICAL AS ALL HELL /silly on his own then with Clown they're both HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, NO GOOD AT ALL /silly and I love that for them actually.

"My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues" really just reminds me of Branzy's bloodlust and how everyone seems to fucking forget it's there???? even if it reminds me of it in like, a roundabout way

"Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T, it's not my fault" is all about how his words are non-literal, how he shouldn't be taken as such, and how he's the way he is from birth and he can't really change it — Branzy doesn't try to hide who he is and how he feels about things (it's his greatest asset) and he also doesn't let anyone tell him how to be (unless you're a murderous clown but like, his simping is a WHOLE different can of worms; I'm not a couple's therapist lol, I'm not paid for this shit), he just kinda is; the only reason he isn't an active threat is because he doesn't care for PVP enough to become better at it. The onlu hangup I've got with this line is the H.A.L.T thing — it's apparently a form of mindfulness recommended to people who have a hard time taking care of themselves, and it stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (might have to look into it for myself,,,,, anyways)

"I'm cut from a different kind of meat" is Will saying he's different, in a completely separate category to everyone else, and paired with the next few lines the implication becomes very obvious: you can't understand me, and you're not meant to. Branzy is so hard to put down into words sometimes because he's genuinely many things all at once: he's impulsive but plans are important to him, he's cunning but SO damn stupid, so harmless yet one of the most dangerous people I've ever seen /vpos /aff, he's kooky and charming and fun yet knows how to be intimidating if he so wishes to be, yet he's also SO pathetic wet cat man coded that it becomes IMPOSSIBLE to be scared of him,,,,,,,, GOD "I'm cut from a different kind of meat" you are, Branzycraft, you really are,,,,,

"More than you can chew, hard to swallow me" this is all about being more than people can take, more than people can understand, more and more and more and more. And honeslty he is: he's hard to put into words because his personality pulls him in all different directions and shapes, he's bigger than he lets on, more all-encompassing and somehow formless in how difficult he can be to pin down and describe — I like to think, if Branzy were ever to sing this (a demon boy can only dream sometimes,,,,,,,,), I imagine he would sound SO cheeky and teasing, kinda smug yet chill. I also love the combo of bit off more than you can chew and hard to swallow pills sounding like that

"Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity" there's something about the line, how it's written and sung that gives me a sense of flippancy that goes really well with Branzy's insane yet really chill attitude. Also the whole "death and blood and gore, LifeSteal's essence and the birthmarks It imprints into It's players" thing of LifeSteal is just. PERFECT for the line idk idc I won't take any criticisms on this point <333

"How can I commit to reality, when my third eye's open and I like what I see?" using the third eye imagery here makes the line be about how Will Wood's imagination is so interesting that nothing real can compete, and thus he just. doesn't commit to any of it — Branzy goes by whatever he fancies that very moment, almost like he lives his own fantasy as he goes about life and honestly, I kinda wish I was him ngl

"Baby, I might be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free" this one's mostly self-explanatory bc like, ALL LifeStealers ARE insane to some degree — you kinda NEED to be to survive in there; if you're not ALREADY, then the culture itself WILL claim your sanity. It's only a matter of time — so OFC this line fits Branzy, especially because he is SO carefree over how he is, who he is, careless of how that affects others and simply going about life like the deranged forest creature he was born to be

"I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards, the rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat" in the explanation in Genius, people say this line might be a reference to Edgar Allen Poe's (yes, this went there. get used to it) "The Telltale Heart", where a murderer stores his victim under his house's floorboards and goes mad, imagining the corpse's heartbeat gives him away — honestly this kinda reminds me of The Patches Incident in a jester walks into an amusement park by hattrem on ao3 (GO READ IT. IT'S GOOD. IT'S GREAT EVEN. GO READ IT !!!!!!) — the contributors say Will Wood might've used the metaphor to suggest he's mover or inspired by his own madness or guilt, a sentiment I'm sure Branzy shares in how he briefly hesitates before going full throttle with whatever fucked up shit he's decided is funniest this time around

"But I still move my feet" here, Will is painting us the following picture: even through the guilt or pain he might feel about something, he keeps on going and keeps on dancing "move my feet"; Branzy never fully stops, he never gives up — he might change course, redirect, take a step back to think and plan, but he never stops. He jumps through the hoops and does all the dances, and he never stops.

"To slip out of this groove, I'm free" here Will Wood is succinctly summarising the point of the song: it's fine to be a little bit (or more like a LOT) crazy, to slip out of constraints and be truly oneself, regardless of how that looks like and Branzy fucking follows this like a mantra lol

I'm gonna lightly skim over the next two lines — "Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls" and "And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah" — bc it's just a reference to the Row, Row, Row Your Boat nursery rhyme, with a more cynical spin; something something the cheerful initial demeanor ripped appart at the hands of that bloodlustful beast living in his veins and caressing his psyche, in one swift swoop and almost instantaneously, just to disappear once again into his bloodstream and be flushed out.

Also I'm gonna talk about the whole chorus right now, and not mention it again unless it's relevant to any other lines I might be discussing:

"I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it, babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through"

The way the lines are sung, so happy-go-lucky and carefree, so flippantly and cheerfully, it all reminds me so much of Branzy's persona — so cheery and showman as everything seems to fall apart around him, and it's a coin toss whether that's to his benefit or to his detriment; he doesn't let past alliances, teamups or enemies to deter him from what he wants and what he craves — he desires someone's demise? even if through elaborate traps, he'll get it. He's only here to have fun, to come and go as he pleases.

"If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see" this one goes hand in hand with the next one, so!: "You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream" there it isss! simply put, people wouldn't be able to take it all in if they saw what the character sees — Branzy must've seen a lot of fucked up shit during his three or so season run in LifeSteal, and considering Tubbo is going insane over the shit LifeStealers keep pulling in The Realm SMP (YOU WERE IN THEIR HOME AT SOME POINT?? YOU WENT INTO THE TIGER ENCLOSURE GIRLIEPOP. WDYM YOU'RE FUCKING SURPRISED THAT PANGI KILLED ALL BEES IN A 1K RADIUS FROM SPAWN???? THAT CLOWN HAD ALREADY PRESTIEGED ENCHANTING ONCE AND WAS ABOUT TO DO IT AGAIN???????? WHAT) I think these lines are appropriate not even just for Branzy, but LITERALLY any LifeStealer at that lmao

I'll be honest, I've got NOTHING for "And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep" and "But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front" so uhhhhhh I'll.... improv something? uh. um. shit uh so uhhhhhhhh something something Branzy takes everything in stride, and manages to turn it into an advantage (like acquiring the scariest player in LS as his work husband)??????? yeahhhh that works

"Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than" and "An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal" are about preferring one's own brand of insanity over the gentle brutality of mainstream society — Branzy kills, like everyone in LifeSteal, and in that they're all a community, yet Branzy still prefers his contraptions and elaborate plans, the honey-sweets to his personal venus flytraps and brand of death over the constant betrayal and active manipulation, the orbital cannons, the battles to the brink, the ambushing of weaker players

"But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever and I'm getting better one forever at a time" is about embracing one's madness, and being better for it — Branzy, amongs other things, is a truly terrifying /vpos character whenever he desires to be because he embraces all the twisted, dark, immoral facets to his person without a second thought, and with this he's stronger than others could ever dream of being

"And if sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die" I don't think LS!Branzy has ever had a problem with dying, even there's always something pushing him to seek survival — it hurts, you're one heart closer to a permanent death, but I don't think that has always perturbed him enough to lash out and become so desperate that he'd be willing to throw caution to the wind; in this, Clown and Branzy are equals, similar to each other, going onto the main stage and performing the same steps.

"Vice-versa, vice versus virtue" here Will Wood is comparing good and bad behaviors to each other, and while there's something of a truth to what the contributor said on Genius about the usage of vice-versa specifically ("The literal meaning of 'Vice Verse' is 'with the main items in the preceding statement the other way around.' In short terms, it means 'the other way around' Following the theme of the song, Will is saying he is the polar opposite of soiety, or he is 'the other way around' in society" — AceTheBowlOfCereal23) I still think there's more to that — paired with the rest of the line, it feels to me that it all speaks of interchangeably using "good" and "bad" as adjectives for Wood's behavior, in such a way that makes both words become almost meaningless; for there will always be someone out there who disapproves of who you are, regardless of what you're doing. Branzy has a similar outlook, of considering whichever thing is happening right now as "good" or "bad" purely based on his own perception, how it might be beneficial or not, instead of using a more socially accepted definition for each and every event he comes across — especially in LifeSteal he does this, where everyone is constantly terrified of Clown and wary of him, yet Branzy only sees good things in the guy

"Well who I am I choose through all the things I do" our actions define us, somehow, in some way, and Branzy picks and chooses which ones he allows himself to be called by: he constatly says he's incapable of killing, he's harmless! Have you seen him holding a sword? Yeah, killing him is like kicking a baby in Wallmart! yet he'd managed to collect AT LEAST 100 hearts for his Big Top Tent event that closed out on Season 5, simply because people like him.

"And if it rhymes it's true, but I hate poetry" for some reason I can see him saying this even if he 100% does not mean it and is only saying it for the bit — not all of these line connections need to be that deep tbh

"Now with my moral compass pointing south, going down" Branzy has a fucked up moral compass ever since LifeSteal, next line

"With no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no respect for reality" so uh. idfk dude. this line exists — connect it back to Branzy or don't, I don't think I can

"A tourist passing through" and "Well that was fun, goodbye" are the lines Will Wood added onto the chorus to create the outro, and they just kinda remind me that Branzy is no longer in LifeSteal, but is still so influential and important to the people who keep playing the server season after season,,,,,,,,,,

Whoa, infinitely long yap session be upon ye! this was fun! I don't wanna do it again anytime soon! (might do it with PrinceZam and the three different Idol by YOASOBI English versions I'm mildly obssessed over [the official one, Trickle's and Will Stetson's]) so uh. I hope y'all enjoyed this? Question mark? Anyways!

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Three (m/m, cold)

And now, for something completely different.

Well, not completely - it's still a cold fic lol. This one is specifically for @ghostlychill who has asked for more Matt and Mark. This is basically the saga of how they ended up together, and it is certainly out of my wheelhouse because it actually has romance lmao. A pre-warning, this is plot heavy (for me) and a little sneeze light. There are a few Greyson cold sneezes, and Matt is sick for the latter half, but it's more of a romance sickfic than a true snz fic. But I hope you like it if you read it; let me know if you all want more Matt and Mark. They were honestly really fun to write, and I banged this monster of a fic out in just a few hours so the muse was musing.

Ok, done rambling. Enjoy :)

CW: Male, M/M (not sexually explicit, just kissing), colds, contagion, coughing, fevers, light mess. 4.3k words under the cut.

Three

Their first kiss was an accident.

Post-brunch. Pre-holidays. “Grab a beer?” Mark had asked as Matt stuffed his dirty chef coat into his backpack. It had become a bit of a ritual for the two of them to grab a drink after a long shift in the past few weeks; usually it was under cover of darkness, but this brunch had been particularly brutal and Matt was craving not just a beverage, but some commiseration. He shrugged, hoisted his backpack onto a shoulder.

“Sure. You’ve got first round.”

One round had quickly turned to two, then three, and before five pm hit they were drunkenly crashing their pint glasses into each other and talking much louder than the half-full pub required to be heard. Matt drained his fifth beer and looked to Mark, smiling sloppily. “One more?” he asked.

Mark pushed his hair out of his face and leaned his head into one hand, taking the other man in. “If it’ll keep you in my line of sight,” he said, emboldened by booze, “I’ll stay here all night long.”

When the bartender finally kicked them out around eight, the two men were so drunk they had to use one another as walking sticks to get down the block.

“We’re way too drunk to be on the street,” Mark laughed, putting a hand over one eye. “I’m seeing, like… quadruple.”

“That’s wild, ‘cause I can’t see at all,” Matt said, looping his arm through Mark’s. The two of them laughed and stumbled until they hit a bench near well-lit central park and flopped down.

“I can’t remember where I live,” Matt admitted, placing his head on Mark’s shoulder. Their arms had stayed looped. Mark gently placed his head atop Matt’s.

“Me either,” he said. “But… can I tell you a secret?”

Matt looked up. Nodded.

“I don’t want to go home,” Mark said, letting a slow smile spread across his face. Matt felt his cheeks flame; he let a beat pass before he smiled back.

“Me either,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Later, they wouldn’t remember who initiated it. All they would remember was when their lips pressed together, everything else melted away.

***

“Oh! Oh, shit, fuck, sorry guys I didn’t -”

“Chef, shit! Oh, fuckin’ hell -”

Greyson slammed the door to the bathroom shut, leaving Matt and Mark to stare at one another, eyes wide as saucers – the silence between them thick as the cigarette smoke that hung in the air outside that little room.

Finally, Mark broke the silence. “Um… do you think he saw anything?”

Matt couldn’t help it; he barked out a laugh. Mark slapped a hand across the other man’s mouth, making him laugh even harder. He really didn’t know what he’d been thinking following Mark in here in the first place.

Much like the stupid party they were hiding from in the bathroom, their second kiss was clearly a mistake.

The New Year’s Eve party had been Elijah’s idea, much to the surprise of literally everyone at the restaurant.

“What?” Elijah had asked when his announcement during pre-shift had been met with a stunned silence. “I thought you all loved parties!”

The servers and cooks eyed one another in a way they all hoped wasn’t completely obvious, until finally Greyson said what everyone was thinking. “Boss, yeah, everyone loves parties… except you.”

Elijah had scoffed at this. “You guys obviously don’t really know me; I love parties.”

Of course, Elijah didn’t love parties and it ended up moving from his roomy condo to Greyson’s tiny Brooklyn apartment at the last minute. Post-service on New Year’s Eve, Matt helped his boss load extra bottles of champagne, vodka, and tequila into the back of the restaurant’s van all while Greyson grumbled about Elijah.

“Fuckin’ Elijah,” Greyson said for about the fiftieth time that evening. “Why the fuck would he even mention a party if he wasn’t a thousand percent sure he wanted to ho – hh-”

Matt glanced up at his boss, who held an arm midair in anticipation. This was the real reason Greyson, who threw parties at his place at least three times a year, was pissed about having to host the work shindig: he was sick.

“Hh-! HhhITSZZH-ue!” Greyson folded over into his elbow, sniffled, and cleared his throat.

“Bless,” Matt offered, placing the rest of the alcohol into the back of the car. “Chef, I’m sure that everyone will understand if you don’t feel up to having twenty people in your apartment. There’re tons of parties right around here, why don’t you just… call it off?”

Greyson, stubborn as ever, just shook his head. “I said I’d do it. They’re already on their way.”

So Matt loaded into the van with Greyson, and Mark got in Elijah’s car with the GM while the rest of the staff hopped on the subway for the party that no one really wanted to be at. Greyson, who’d been able to keep his illness at bay for most of the shift thanks mostly to the Sudafed he kept slamming, started coming down hard the moment they began their drive to Brooklyn.

“Hh...hhITSZZH-ue! Huh-! ETSZH-ue! Fuck mbe,” Greyson muttered, using his sleeve to wipe under his nose with one hand while he drove through the busy Manhattan streets with the other.

“Um… do you want to pull over so I can drive?” Matt asked, a little more pointed than his boss was used to him being. Greyson shot his sous chef a look.

“Ndo,” he said. “I’ve got it.”

Matt was hardly a germaphobe – working in a kitchen bred that out of you pretty quickly – but he couldn’t help but cringe away with every sneeze and cough that came from his boss’s side of the car. He found himself thinking about Mark; they had plans to hang out in just a few days, plans that both of them had been forced to cancel multiple times already, and Matt could just feel Greyson’s germs making themselves at home inside his body. He really didn’t want to cancel on Mark again; he wasn’t exactly sure what they were, what he wanted them to be, or what Mark thought they were, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to fuck it up. Matt was entirely too good at fucking up a good thing.

“HRRSHH-ue!” Clearly, that one snuck up on him, because that time Greyson barely covered his mouth. Matt shrank into the door and considered pulling his shirt over his nose and mouth in a desperate attempt to keep his boss from infecting him. Greyson glanced over at Matt and coughed out a laugh.

“Sorry, kid,” he said, patting Matt’s leg, “but you’re probably already fucked.”

Eventually, they made it to Greyson’s walk-up and after what felt like an eon, they got everything inside. Elijah immediately recruited Mark to help pour champagne for everyone, and Greyson left his sous to go outside and smoke on the patio – Matt had no choice but to just start drinking.

By the time the cooks and servers made it to Greyson’s apartment, Matt was half in the bag. He floated sloppily from group to group, telling jokes and prompting everyone to take shots with him, all while keeping one eye on Mark at all times. Elijah had been keeping his liege busy; Mark was bartending, putting appetizers in the oven, picking up trash… everything except hanging out with Matt. So when he finally got to take a bathroom break, Matt threw back his tequila soda and, emboldened by liquor, followed behind him.

“Hey, it’s occ-” Mark started to say when the bathroom door opened right on his heels – but he was cut off when Matt swung him around, grabbed his face in both hands, stood on his tiptoes, and pressed his lips firmly on the other man’s.

Mark certainly wasn’t pulling away; in fact, the moment their lips touched, Mark grabbed Matt by the hips and lifted him onto Greyson’s tiny vanity to make the kiss easier on both of them. Matt pulled away for just a moment to look at Mark – his black-framed glasses were askew, his hair was wild from Matt’s hands coursing through it, and his face was flushed with lust. Matt was sure he’d never seen anyone so beautiful.

“What was that for?” Mark asked, his voice low. Matt’s face cracked into a smile.

“I haven’t gotten to spend any time with you tonight,” he said, pushing Mark’s hair away from his face. “And I’m probably gonna have to cancel our plans on Monday.”

Mark’s brows knit together, confused. “Why?” he asked. “Is this, like, a fare-thee-well, this is the last time this will happen kiss situation?”

Matt laughed, shook his head. “No,” he said, cocking his head towards the door, where the party rumbled outside. “I’m, like, 99% sure Greyson infected me with his disgusting illness on the long-ass drive over here. I wouldn’t force you to hang out with me when I’m inevitably sick.” He shrugged. “So I figured I’d sneak some time with you where I could.”

Matt didn’t wait for Mark’s response about his impending doom; he just leaned in again. This time, Mark parted his lips and slid his tongue in to meet Matt’s. Matt allowed a quiet moan to escape his lips, let his hand feel its way down to Mark’s shirt, and began unbuttoning when the door flew open once more.

“Oh!”

Greyson.

***

“Chef, I am not in the mood today.”

“Oh c’mon, if I can’t poke fun at your drunken antics then what’s even the point of living? You make fun of my drunken antics all the time.”

Matt put down his knife and gave his boss a pointed look. “Yeah, maybe for like a day after they go down, but New Year’s was three days ago. Are you planning on ever letting it go?”

Greyson shrugged as he pushed onions into a deli container and snapped the lid shut. “Probably not. I mean, it’s just too good – caught red handed in my bathroom. Like, it couldn’t have happened more perfectly if I wrote it myself.”

Matt rolled his eyes; while Greyson living for his embarrassment was annoying, it was kind of the last thing on his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about Mark – after the bathroom kiss situation went down, he’d slipped out of the party and hadn’t mentioned anything about it to Matt since. Matt assumed he wanted to put it out of his head. Maybe the kiss – both of the kisses – hadn’t felt to Mark like they did to Matt. Maybe Mark was put off by how drunk Matt had been both times. Maybe he just wasn’t into him.

All Matt knew was, he desperately wanted to talk to Mark – but despite working the same hours in the same tiny restaurant, Mark had managed to avoid him like the plague.

Speaking of which.

“HTSHH-uh! Hh! Hh’ITSHH-uh! ETZSH-ue!” Matt turned away from the food to sneeze into his shoulder, then his hand, then finally his elbow. Greyson stepped over and plucked Matt’s knife out of his hand while the younger man was compromised.

“You’ll take someone’s eye out that way,” he chastised, placing the knife on Matt’s cutting board. The sous rolled his eyes, sucked in through his nose, and trudged to the sink to wash his hands.

“I don’t want to hear it from you, Chef. You’re the fucking plague rat of this restaurant,” Matt murmured, pulling a hand down his face. This was the other issue: Matt and Mark were supposed to hang out tomorrow, but just as he predicted, Matt had been gifted the cold Greyson had on New Year’s. If Mark didn’t want to talk to him when he was healthy and just a few steps away, he certainly wouldn’t be traversing the city tomorrow to hang out with Matt when he was fever-addled and snot-ridden.

“Rude,” Greyson said, continuing his prep. “But not entirely untrue. Sorry you’re sick.”

“Whatever,” Matt grumbled, his bad mood amplified by his pounding head. “Can you just drop the bathroom situation?”

Greyson bit his cheek to keep from smiling. “I can certainly try.”

Matt knew that meant ‘no’, but he’d take what he could get. He picked his knife back up to start chopping broccoli, but almost cut himself when Mark slipped into the back kitchen.

“Chef?” he asked, prompting both Greyson and Matt’s heads to shoot up. Matt’s face flamed when Greyson swiveled his head to meet his sous’ eyes with a cheeky grin – he put his head back down, pretending to focus on his work.

“Yes, Mark, how can I assist you?” Greyson asked, wiping his hands on the towel next to his cutting board. Matt felt Mark shoot a quick glance his way; his cheeks burned with the knowledge.

“Elijah is looking for you. Says he has a question about tonight’s ten-top with the prixe fix?”

Greyson rolled his eyes, but abandoned his prep for the moment. “When doesn’t Elijah have a question about a prixe fix?” he asked to no one in particular. “I’ll go talk to him. Thanks.”

The chef exited the back kitchen, leaving a sniffling Matt and a stuck-in-place Mark in his wake. Matt was the first to break the silence – unwillingly.

“Hh-! NTSHH-uh!” The sous attempted to stifle a sneeze into his palm, but only succeeded in making a mess of himself. His face reddened impossibly deeper, and he was forced to put down his knife and head for the sink.

“Bless you,” Mark said as Matt pulled a paper towel from the dispenser and blew his nose. Matt swallowed painfully, washed his hands again, and nodded.

“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat.

They lapsed into silence once again, neither one looking at the other. “Um,” Mark said, finally, “are you -”

“I have to get this work done,” Matt interrupted, though he couldn’t explain to even himself why he wouldn’t let Mark ask if he was okay. “Have a good shift, okay?”

Mark blinked, taken aback, but nodded. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and turned to leave the back kitchen without a word. Matt didn’t let himself watch the other man go.

***

It was like watching a train wreck.

“Matt,” Greyson called from his spot at the expo board. “Where are we at on the halibut for 63?”

Mark’s eyes darted behind the line where Matt was doubled over, coughing into the collar of his chef’s coat. The sous chef had started the evening looking very much under the weather and quite a bit worse for the wear, but now, at nine PM he looked like he was ready to keel over right there on the line. Mark bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything.

“Matt!” Greyson called again, and Matt stood, shakily, to place the likely-overcooked halibut onto its plate. He pushed it through the window and gave his boss a pointed look.

“The food has to cook, Chef, you gotta give mbe a minu – uh! ETSZCH-uhh!” Matt collapsed once again into his collar, righted himself quickly, and sucked in through his nose. “A mbinute,” he finished, his voice cracking.

“Halibut doesn’t take twenty minutes to cook, Chef,” Greyson snapped, snatching the plate from the line. “I expect my number-two to be able to keep ticket times under fifty minutes so the fucking restaurant doesn’t shut the fuck down.” Greyson handed three plates to Mark, who took them wordlessly and slunk out of the kitchen.

Mark dropped the food at its respective table, the guilt of not saying anything to Matt slowly eating away at him. He counted the tables left in the restaurant who still needed to eat – definitely more than he was hoping for. He really, really didn’t want to go back to the kitchen.

“Hey, Lij?” Mark said, approaching his boss at the host stand. Elijah was moving reservations from table to table on the iPad, configuring the remainder of the night.

“Hmm?” Elijah murmured, only half paying attention. Mark pursed his lips, weighing whether he should say anything.

Finally, he said, “Do you think you could ask Greyson to kind of… cool it with Matt? I mean, he seems like he’s really sick and Chef is like… totally berating him.”

Elijah raised an eyebrow and looked away from the iPad to meet Mark’s eyes. “You want me to ask Greyson to stop yelling at Matt… now? In the middle of service, when there are tables who have thirty-plus-minute ticket times?” The GM huffed out a laugh. “Man, Greyson told me about the whole bathroom situation, but I figured you guys were just drunk. I didn’t realize you were down so badly for him.”

Mark’s face flushed crimson; Elijah smirked at him, and turned back to the iPad. “Matt’s a big boy, Mark,” he said, not looking the floor manager in the eye. “He can handle Greyson yelling at him.”

“Yeah,” Mark muttered. “Okay.”

Mark trudged back to the kitchen to grab more food, the sound of Greyson’s frustrated voice hitting him before he could even step foot through the swinging doors.

“Order in! Two filets, two tofu, one halibut! Matt, I swear to God I had better see table twenty-six up in the next three seconds, Chef, it’s already at twenty-two minutes.”

“Yes, Chef,” Matt mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

“I can’t hear you, Chef,” Greyson yelled back, tweezering herbs onto a dish.

“Yes, Che – ITZSHH-ue! HRETSZH-ue!” Matt ducked down below the line to sneeze, the sound painful and desperate. Mark could hear the crackling cough he was trying to hide all the way from where he was standing; his heart sunk. He wished like hell that he’d had the balls to say something – anything – to the other man this week. He wished he wasn’t such a fucking baby when it came to his feelings, or relationships, or standing up for himself or anyone else. He wished he was anyone but himself.

“Bless – Chef, do you need to switch spots with me?” Greyson asked, his voice finally softening at the sound of Matt’s coughing.

“Ndo, Chef,” Matt managed, standing. “I’mb fine. Twenty-six, up,” he said, slamming the plates onto the pass.

“Great,” Greyson mumbled. He garnished the plates and shoved them into Mark’s hands. “Twenty-six, go,” he said, not looking at the floor manager.

Mark nodded; he took the plates out into the dining room and dropped them; as he did, he made a promise to himself and, silently, to Matt: maybe there was nothing he could do or say during the shift to make Matt feel any better, but he would figure out a way, post-shift, to do something to help him. He would grow some balls, if it killed him.

While Elijah was still busy looking at reservations, Mark slipped into the bathroom and pulled out his phone. He put in a grocery order, to be picked up at ten the next morning. He typed out a text to Matt, scheduled it to send at the same time he would be picking up the groceries so he wouldn’t be able to wimp out and unschedule it. Then he put his phone back in his pocket, opened the door, and went to finish the shift.

***

His phone was ringing.

Matt groaned as he came to; he was covered in sweat, he could barely breathe, and he was stiff as a fucking board from passing out on his couch. Who the fuck was calling him? It was his one day off, could Greyson not leave him alone for one fucking day?

He grabbed the phone off the coffee table, ready to throw it across the room, when he realized the name on the screen wasn’t his boss’s.

Call from: Mark, Work.

Matt’s stomach jumped into his throat. The phone continued to ring while he squinted at the clock in the corner: ten twenty-three AM. Had he and Mark spoken last night? He could barely remember a fucking thing about the previous night, other than being utterly and completely miserable. The two of them definitely hadn’t spoken; he remembered giving Mark the cold should before service started, remembered the pitying look Mark had given him as Greyson screamed the restaurant down, remembered flying out the door the moment Greyson told him to go. They hadn’t spoken, their plans were obviously off, so why the hell was Mark calling him?

The call went to voicemail. Matt coughed into his elbow, a chesty sound that he really didn’t like, especially since he didn’t have health insurance. After a minute or so, another notification popped up: one new voicemail.

Curiosity got the better of him. Matt opened his phone and hit ‘play’.

“Hey, Matt, it’s um… it’s me. I know this is super weird, like I don’t know why I did it at this point weird, but, uh… I’m outside your building. I texted you, but now I’m realizing you’re probably asleep. Uh… I mean, if you get this I’m gonna, like, hang out out here for a bit. I brought soup! I can’t cook, so it’s from a deli, but I figured you might need something to eat, and you probably don’t want to cook since you’re sick. Your place is nice, by the way. Um. Okay. If you get this, cool, if not, I’ll uh… I’ll leave in a little bit. Okay. Bye.”

Matt felt his heart near-explode in his chest. Mark was sitting outside his building, with soup? What was this, a Hallmark movie?

He did it without thinking; he pulled up his text conversation with Mark and typed, hey, im awake. sorry I missed ur call. ill buzz you up :)

Mark was up the stairs in record time. He knocked, and Matt stood from the couch, forgetting until he was vertical that he was still in his work clothes from last night. Gross, he thought, but it was too late to change now – he took a few shaky steps towards the door and opened up.

Matt barely recognized Mark at first; he was only used to his floor-manager getup, button-downs and ties and slacks, his hair gelled back. Today, Mark wore jeans and a jean jacket over a Brighton University hoodie – did he go to college in England? - with black high-top converse. His curly hair was in his face, and he was carrying two full grocery bags. Mark smiled.

“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“Yea -” Matt attempted, not realizing his voice was completely shot until he tried to use it for the first time that day. His hand flew to his throat and he attempted to clear it, to no avail. “Shit, sorry, apparently I can’t talk,” he whispered.

Mark pursed his lips, obviously concerned. “That’s okay,” he said, stepping through the front door. He placed the bags on Matt’s tiny kitchen table and began pulling out supplies. “I come bearing gifts.”

There was the soup, like he said, but Mark also pulled out dayquil, and sudafed, and cough drops. He pulled out a box of tissues, bags of tea, and cough syrup – quite literally the whole nine yards. “I didn’t know what you had, so I figured I’d grab one of everything,” Mark said, embarrassed.

Matt didn’t know what to say. “Mark, I – hh! hhIGTSZH-uhh! Hh’TSHH-ue!” Matt crumpled into his elbow to sneeze, hard, and lapsed into a fit of coughing. Mark pushed the cold supplies towards him, smiling a bit.

“Bless you,” he said. “I’m sorry you’re so sick.”

Matt took a moment to blow his nose and uncapped the cough syrup. He chugged a bit, righted himself, and shrugged, embarrassed. “Not your fault,” he croaked. “Thank you for bringing all this.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Mark said, not looking into Matt’s eyes. “I’m really sorry for ignoring you the past few days, Matt. I… I mean, I don’t want to scare you off or anything but I haven’t really had, like, a real relationship in a long time. Like, a really long time.” He looked up, caught Matt’s red, watery eyes in his, and gave up the whole truth. “Like… ever.”

Matt nodded slowly, processing. “So… you don’t hate me?” he asked, the fever tossing to the wayside any filter he might have once had. Mark’s face colored; he laughed.

“I don’t hate you,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like… I really don’t hate you. I – I mean, I really, really like you, Matt.”

It was Matt’s turn to flush bright red. “Even like this?” he asked, coughing into his fist. Mark smiled.

“Even like that.”

The two of them stood there, smiling twin goofy smiles, for a moment before Matt ducked once again into his elbow.

“Hh – ITSZHH-ue! Guhh.” He wiped his nose on the back of his hand, not caring how disgusting he looked. “I, umb, I really like you too, Mbark,” he said, coughing again. “Like… probably mbore than is normal or rational.”

This time, it was Matt who was caught off-guard. Before he knew what was happening, Mark had his hands on either side of Matt’s hot face and was tipping Matt’s head up to meet his. This one was different; while the first two kisses felt hungry, dangerous, this one was soft; an invitation. A promise of a future yet to come.

Matt pulled away to catch his breath. “You’ll get sick,” he muttered, eyes closed and hands around Mark’s thin frame. Mark tipped Matt’s head up, pushed his sweaty, dishwater blond hair out of his eyes, and pressed their foreheads together.

“I know,” he said, and pressed his lips against Matt’s once again.

Their third kiss – well. That was the one they would tell everyone at the wedding about.

[moonlight-sonata99]

Walk the line

No.2

Carmy x reader

Summary: getting used to takes some time, nonetheless you try your best.

A/n: I'm still getting used to making realistic convos, literally rewatching S1 just to get the characters right lmao also when I say slow burn. I mean that☠️

One

'It's way to damn early for this..' you think sighing on the way to work

'who am I kidding it's always early when i go to work dumbass'  you think again seeing the beef coming into the view,

Making your way inside your greeted by the empty kitchen, it was your first time in here since mikeys..Shaking the thoughts out of your head a sudden nervousness came in your chest, 

'What if this carmy some fancy dude who thinks he's hot shit?'

'Or what if he judges you fo-'

"Morning chef" a voice interrupts your thoughts as a man walks into you vision, he seems to be preparing for the day it seems..?

"Oh uh- morning" you say walking to the locker and putting away your things looking at the guy taking out the meat and beginning to put it in the oven, he was...not what you were expecting. He was shorter (not that's its a problem) , blue eyes, and light hair with curls in them.

'Damn.'

"Carmy right?" You say closing your locker and walking over to him.

"Yeah" he nods replyingshortly, closing the oven and meeting your gaze as you walk to him. 

"Nice to finally meet you," you say, extending your arm and he shakes it and you tell him your name, "mikey told me about you, uh..looking forward to working with a professional" you say letting your hand rest on the side of your lap. 

"Right, I uh do baking with Marcus. But I can do more to" you say, explaining your position in the kitchen as he listens

After explaining that to him he begins to tell you of how he will be running things.

"Understand?" He ask as he looks at you with his blue eyes your nod.

"Yes chef." You nod. He follows suit.

"I'll go ahead and prepare then" 

Was it a mistake coming back?

Was it??

Okay maybe not cause, these Fuckers lied to you about carmy not being your type.

Cause goddamn,that man was definitely your type. His arms alone could make your eyes wander from whatever task your doing and just gaze at them for however minutes. Also whatever protocol he had you guys on was chaotic as hell. Well not really, not to you at least. But to the others it seemed they needed a bit more time warming up to carmy...

"I don't know" Tina mumbled to you as she kept her eyes on her pan "he knows all of these fancy shit.." she says frying as you cut up vegetables next to her 

"They are kinda..complicated. " you reply throwing the vegetables into the pan to fry and she nodded 

"I'm sure we'll get used to it, right?" You say again looking at her as She only sighs and nods again.

"I fuckin hope so."

Getting used to this was... hard but you didn't give yourself a hard time since you were still new to this new setup.  way different from how mikey operated. Continuing to cut more vegetables you looked up from the board to look at Carmy to see him running across the kitchen fixing whatever the crew fucked up on now.

You shook your head lightly feeling bad for him. Everyone was already giving him shit, and if this is day one god….you only wondered what time would bring.

Time passed indeed and carmy's screams become a constant in your day. you tried your best to keep up with his instructions and his screams numbed into the background as you would only focus on your work .

Topping a sandwich ritchie was running your ear and tinas as he spoke about some thing you didnt really care about, but it was starting to get to you.

"Ritchie if you don't shut the fuck up-" you sighed out as you get the stove on and rubbed your temple, as Ritchie went on about some dude who….

What did he do again? 

"Okay, Okay fine!" he said raising both of his palms up and Stepping away,

"I'm sorry, I love you, but sometimes you talk to damn much, " you explained as you walked and he followed you. 

"Look, I'm sorry but that's just how I am!"

"I know dumbass but I wanna be alone right now,Please?" 

He sighed for a moment, his eyes darting away from you "Alright, i gotcha" he said patting your back as you went I to the walk in

Shutting the door you sigh to yourself the hum of the room your only companion, "What was I even looking for?" you think looking over the ingredients in here as you sighed.

"What the fuck is wrong with me today.." you mumbled into the silence of the walk in.

It was all building up maybe it was so different ?? you knew Carmy wasn't mikey. He wasn't. Hell they didn't even look alike. 

Maybe i just miss him.

The thought echoes as you stood there just staring until the door opens,

"hey, you okay?" feeling a hand on your shoulder you turned back to see those same blue eyes, now out of your trance you nod your hand slowly

"y-yeah good. Sorry i uh…" you traill off looking back at the ingredients i need a break " you say quickly before walking out and  sitting on the concrete, After a few minutes, the door opened and closed and you felt a presence next to you.

"You alright?"Carmy voice which was calm  asked as you looked down at the concrete.

"Yea it just- still getting used to this… waving your hand up to the building. "Which no hate to you, its good. ... not a chef or a cook." you admit fiddling with your pants "Mikey had me helping marcus-so i guess it's all new to me."

"yea-yea no i get it." he responded looking at you. "you don't need to apologize though, " he says, taking out a cigarette and lighting it up. "you'll get it better the more you do it"

"you knew him?" he asked again as you met his gaze.

"I did, he helped me in a rough time. "You explained leaving it at that. 

"Good dude but hella loud." you say chuckling and hearing a small scoff from him.

Leaning your head back on the wall as you looked at him. 

"Ritchie said you went to Culinary schools? " you asked and he nodded 

"i did"

"How were they?"

he only gave you a look that seemed kinda surprised, 

"What no one asked you this yet?" you asked Putting your elbows to your Knees 

"No one from here no,not yet" he replies letting the cigarette dangle from his two fingers.

Letting out a small 'hmm…' your gaze wandered off him and looked at the door,

"I know, they're assholes now but once yknow them, their… less assholes. " you say with a grin and he only chuckles looking down, 

"Yea, I knew them sorta before coming here" he admits setting his gaze to the floor.

"But y'know Ritchie- he's still an asshole. " you add before standing up, as he chuckles finishes up his cigarette and follows suit.

"Yea, Ritchie's an asshole." He repeats shaking his head with a small smile.

Heading to the door, Carmy looks back at you as if to ask something but turns away before even mentioning something, and you head on the inside without noticing.

Hey,

Me again. How are you? I know we have text messaging but 1. I lost your number somewhere,somehow. 2. Sending letters is cool and makes me feel ancient. So, Compared to last time I

Im… doing kinda good. still working in that restaurant, but i kinda like it ? now with  here it feels "professional " if that's what you can call it . ?? Hes making all these changes and everyone fucking hates him. Me? Maybe. Well at first yeah. now I know why Mikey would talk about him the way he did. Carmy's … different.in a way. I like it.

I like him.

A/N: making the reader simp over carmy cause...like who wouldnt? but it's just a attraction not love yet unfortunately :> alps o debated having reader being hired after carmy takes charge. But I really liked the idea of mikey having known the reader and not really mentioning her. Makes more...mysterious:]

[quarterlifekitty]

Hi I just RAN through all your writings and little drabbles and such and I am about to chew through the bars of my enclosure friend I swear to fuck.

Just dropping in to let you🫵🏻know some of my favorites

Can NOT stop thinking about the drabble/head cannon you did for konig where you meet him online and he helps you get a skin in your game when he surprises you at your place. It's so good. I want to gnaw on it (and him). He didn't technically lie! He just.....didn't exactly say how old he is. Sure he's like....double your age but hey! Do it for the plot! (The plot is now your entire life, konig is the plot.) It doesn't help that he's really just a good guy, he just happens to have strong emotions! So just let him provide for you, don't ask what he's doing in your country or why he needs to know if you have a passport. Totally for no reason. Absolutely none.

And then the thing you did about coercing you into anal? 😮‍💨Brother......focusing on Simons bit specifically for this one BUT him trying to play off almost thrusting into that hole as "an acciden', jus' slipped lovie" when he was in fact doing it on purpose makes me DIZZY. He wants it so bad, it's right there....if he just gets you cockdrunk enough ....maybe it'll make the burning stretch a bit easier to handle. Easier to work his way into the hole that is so tempting.

BUT ALSO! the fuckin. The goddamn baby trapping. Oh my god. It's. I'm. They just want chunky fat babies with their sweetie! Don't you think they deserve at least that? A family to call their own after all they've given? Years and years, scars and wounds and trauma, but no thanks? Nothing for their sacrifices? Well, it's about time that changed, isn't it? Just think about it, what a joy it would be if they came back from deployment to see their sweet thing with a big baby bump, waddling to greet them at the door ? They just love you so much, they have to show the world that. A fat baby with their father's eyes sitting on your hip as you grocery shop will do just that, won't it?

Anywho, I'll stop myself here. Just discovered your blog and. 🤭😗Enjoying it greatly.

Thank you soooooo muuuch! Seriously. This is like the kind of comment I dream of receiving. Also you’re so fucking correct about all of that. We love men that trick youuuuu lol

Honestly, I also love the gamer boyfriend König thing so much. Love the idea of König with like a NEET femcel type gf lol he would love that. No job, no school, no plans and horny with no outlet!! It’s perfect for him!! I’ve thought about doing a continuation for it. Maybe him getting you to move back to Austria. Fingering you on the plane while you’re focused on your switch (you’re showing him fire emblem. He usually sticks to online games, so he hasn’t played many JRPGs, but he’d like to get into them. Doesn’t escape him that you usually choose to marry the tallest, buffest bachelor available).

I am always down to write dubious Simon AND baby trapping!!! Love that shit lmao. Thank you again for your message!

[jacenotjason]

hellooo!! helloo!! I have... I have TWO QUESTIONS!! 1. How would each of them react to someone being homophobic/transphobic towards them? 2. uhhh how would they react if they saw their parents? especially the ones that don't like/have never met parents (i was gonna put something else for the second one but uhhh i frogor uh oh)

OH BOY TWO QUESTIONS!! Ok lets all pray Tumblr doenst eat this its gonna be a lot

Ok first question, how would they react to someone being queerphobic to them?

Eddie: “mhm… sure…” he does not care. He deosnt really listen to people in the first place, the second you start trying to offend him he just tones you out. He does not give half a shit. Maybe if you keep talking.. a fuck will fall into his hand!

Poppy: being queerphobic to her?? Eh. Who cares. She lived through a homophobic cult and also bigoted parents, shes got tough skin. Being queerphobic to her children? PREPARE TO CATCH THESE TALONS BIIIITCH

Julie: absolutely roasts you. She takes one look at you and digs up your nastiest trauma some how. Like this “ew a girl dating a girl thats gay (idk how to be homophobic)” “? *looks up and down* okay? I didn’t ask, go tell your mom. Oh, wait shes dead isn’t she? And your father isn’t even present, he left when you were 6 and you had to rely on your Grandfathers homophobic ideology and your Grandmothers abuse. I don’t care what you have to think.” Then the homophobe just lays on the floor in the fetal position.

Sally: “196.251.208.6” get doxxed.

Frank: he just starts crying :( then he goes and tells Eddie and hes gonna stab you

(How do you even be homophobic to someone questioning??) Barnaby: “I know my identity isn’t the root of your anger.. come here, sit down, lets talk it out..” uuuh free therapy? He just summons tea bc all grandpas have the ability to just summon tea

Howdy: i actually have no idea. Ik hes sort of gotten this reputation as violent but hes- guys hes pathetic. He probably just laughs at them and shoos them away, maybe pull the gun from under the counter if he needs to

OK ooo o this ones a little less fun.. if they met their parents

Eddie: quick Eddie lore he was raised in joint custody, his parents hate each other so… uhm.. were getting the gang back together! He’d probably just sit with his face in his hands as his parents fight like “Ohmygod.. guys stop” they blame each other for how Eddie ended up and hes like “Im literally right here”

Poppy: shes long gotten over her fear of her parents. She’s happy and thats all that matters, she’ll happily tell off her parents like a GIRLBOSS YEAAAHHH happily explain how she escaped the cult they sent her too and how happy she is rn

Julie: uhm.. Julie’s parents are dead. Next question. Lmao ok but fr if she like.. came back to life she’d be so happy :3 she, and all the other joyfuls, were raised by a single mom and Julie got all her “men are trash, defend urself, never be afraid to punch a man” type ideology from her mom and her mom was super accepting and she misses herrr :((

Sally: now you may think Sally has a terrible relationship with her parents.. but she doesnt :3 shes unable to see her mom (for agoraphobic, mental health, and also legal reasons) but she loves her a lot. Her mom did sort of raise her in shitty conditions, but Sally doesn’t blame her at all and misses her a lottt wah

Frank: no

Barnaby: ooohh no… so uuh lore for those that dont know, Barnaby’s parents gave him up to the “”””boarding school”””” when he was four and he doesnt remember them. He’d probably be happier then he should to meet them, but most definitely get gaslit by his parents :( like they have what Barnaby thinks is a normal conversation but really isnt.. someone stop it q-p

Howdy: he fuckin loves his dad!! And all his family!!! And he sees them regularly, so itd just be a normal visit

AAA big post ee

Also tumblr didnt eat it thank u tumblr

[littlepetbee]

i've had the house to myself this weekend so i decided to marathon a bunch of movies that have been on my watchlist for aaages. here they are ranked bc i love making lists lmao:

Game Night: this one was far and away my favorite...it's a fun, clever mystery that's also funny as shit. rachel mcadams is the queen of comedy and also waving a loaded gun around like a crazy person. fuckin 10/10, you guys

I Love You Phillip Morris: listen. i avoid jim carrey like the plague - it's nothing personal, his face just irritates the shit out of me. but i'm SO glad i gave this one a try anyway...it was so cute and touching and gay little ewan mcgregor with his gay little earring is genuinely the softest, sweetest thing to ever exist. it makes complete sense that someone would become a conman for him lmao. 10/10

Bullet Train: thee action comedy lbr!! shoutout to @seeinhindsight for reccing this one to me. it was so well done...with all the winding storylines and running gags it easily could have been a tonal mess, but i feel like they knocked it outta the park. also the steady stream of "oh shit this guy's in it too???" was fun as hell. 9/10 just bc some parts made me sad and my movie ratings are based solely on how they Make Me Feel, not any objectivity lol

Attack The Block: my brain the whole time: YEAH BOY(EGA)!!!! an alien invasion movie with a Message and pre-star wars john boyega?? that was always gonna be a slam dunk for me. though i do gotta say watching british movies as an american is always jarring as hell bc there's no guns. it feels like the weirdest kind of unreality. anyways 8/10

This Is Where I Leave You: slowing things down and getting way more Serious here but i was surprised by how much i liked this one (though maybe i shouldn't have been, since dysfunctional families/siblings are kinda my bread and butter lmao). the surprise lesbianism-slash-lowkey-polyamory definitely elevated it, too! 7/10

Shattered Glass: 100% the movie you gotta show people when they try to say hayden christensen sucks at his job bc uhhh he ate that shit up. not to be #me about it, but if that dude can be that fucking cute the whole time and still make me wanna throttle him within an inch of his life, you know he was doing something right. 6/10

As Above, So Below: i was bummed at first when i realized it was one of those found footage horror dealios, but i actually ended up really liking it. and honestly for the setting, i think found footage really was the only way to go. the concept was super interesting and the horror aspects were sufficiently creepy without being enough to give me nightmares, which is about all my babyass can handle. 6/10

Everybody Wants Some!!: yeah the hoechlin 80's movie lol. it was fun! the characters were likable for the most part! the vibes were good! but B's cannot live on vibes alone (that's a bible verse, i'm p sure) so i was left wondering what the Point was. i am not the target audience for hangout movies, i'll tell you that lmao. 3.5/10

so that's the list!!! all in all a very great way to spend a weekend <3