#sure it's a little more than 'dying' per se

[olrinarts]

i am a sucker for 'tends to their love interest's wounds' so sue me

idk i'm just very fond of 'former god of death scolding current god of death for almost dying' vibes

[chrollogy]

SIGNED: LOVESICK FOOL #02

iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

next | masterlist

synopsis: The sudden popularity over your first confession gives you the confidence to share more about your feelings for a certain someone. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi seems to be in deep thought, especially after reading the second confession—thanks to Oikawa.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff, mutual pining, iwaizumi is more lovesick than he lets on, oikawa is a lil shit, iwa has dimples!, not beta read.

word count: 2k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. ch 3 may be a bit late since i’m still in the process of writing it :> but enjoy !!!

The confessions page never piqued Iwaizumi’s interest, not that it wasn’t interesting per se but he just didn’t have the time to read about other people’s lives unlike you, and Oikawa. Sure, he’d spare a minute or two whenever it’d appear on his timeline but he never sought them out.

If Iwaizumi were to think back on the last confession he had read, it’d be about a student TMI-ing, and confessing how they did the deed with a random stranger in a park near the campus. As expected, the post blew up, and was the talk of the campus for a few weeks straight due to its bizarreness.

Of course, just like every other student, you, and Oikawa gossiped about it during study sessions—safe to say it absolutely drove Iwaizumi nuts because of how much he’s heard that same story over, and over again.

Whenever he came across a confession on his timeline, he’d scroll right past it but oddly enough, the recent post Oikawa read aloud earlier might or might not have piqued his interest.

For starters, Iwaizumi knew he was in the same predicament as the anonymous sender. As he mentioned earlier, it was not easy to have feelings for your best friend, especially if one’s day to day life included said person. He could only act nonchalant for so long before he’d finally break—though, with the long period of time he’s harboured feelings for you, it might be sooner than expected.

Iwaizumi has always wondered how he’s even holding up in the first place every time he remembers how long he had kept his feelings for you. 

It’s just that every single time you’re around him, it does nothing but test his sanity. Everything about you was just so loveable that it wasn’t a surprise when Iwaizumi found himself loving you more than a friend—the lingering glances, his crimson-painted cheeks, the softness of his voice, the warmth of his palms, all those were reserved for you.

And Iwaizumi wished that at least somewhere down the line, you reciprocated his feelings too, even if his love for you outweighed your love for him. At least then, he would experience the feeling of your beating heart against his palms. Oh, Iwaizumi would do nothing but treat it with the utmost care, as though it was a fragile flower—not too much water to drown it but also not too little to starve it.

“Iwaizumi?”

Pulled out of his trance, Iwaizumi blinked up at you, confusion growing on his face with each passing second. Fuck, he was deep in thought, wasn’t he? One minute the two of you were exchanging a conversation, and the next his mind wandered over to uncharted waters—a place he’s been dying to dip a finger into for the longest time.

“Now, you’re the one who seems stressed. Still thinking about your big assignment?”

“Yeah.” He lied.

In all honesty, Iwaizumi wanted nothing but to wrap his arms around you—be as close to you as possible, as though any moment away from your warmth would instantly end him. But Iwaizumi’s arms remained by his side, fingers drumming on the wooden bench beneath, a way to distract the annoying itch of wanting to be near your skin.

The late afternoon breeze blew past, a gentle caress of cold wind against his crimson-painted cheeks, as if mother nature herself cupped his face, and reminded him that everything was going to be alright. The trees danced as the wind intertwined with its leaves, forming a melodic sound to calm the mind.

Both of you were currently passing time before retiring to your rooms, as usual, Iwaizumi had waited after your late afternoon lecture but this time, it felt different. You found him leaning on the side of a vending machine, phone in hand while the other shoved in his pocket, an indifferent expression was plastered on his face—it’s a sight you’ve seen a thousand times, a sight you’re more than familiar with but why did it make your heart flutter so much now

It didn’t help how the subtle smile Iwaizumi sent your way had your knees buckling, and fingers curling tighter around the strap of your bag.

“Can I—” Iwaizumi started.

You noticed the way his fingers drew random shapes on the fabric of his pants, a nervous habit he’s picked up, one that you’ve learned from observing him. Though, you remained silent despite the slight worry in your chest, urging him on to finish his sentence; somehow, what was to come next may or may not have had your heart pounding. The hint of softness in his voice was enough to send your heart into overdrive.

“Is it okay if I lean on you a bit?”

Oh.

Iwaizumi had shifted closer, you knew because you were shielded from the cool late afternoon breeze, instead, the warmth of his body greeted you like a calm embrace. From the corners of your eyes, Iwaizumi looked at you, his dark emerald gaze was intense enough to burn holes through the side of your face—a searing gaze you didn’t know how to return. Yet.

So, you simply nodded. A subtle dip of your chin, eyes fixated on the distant tree line of the park as though it piqued your interest, funny how it's dark green hues reminded you of his eyes.

That was all Iwaizumi needed before closing the distance between your bodies, and leaning his head on your shoulder. You sucked in a breath, closeness was never foreign in the friendship but the feeling of his body flush against your own was enough to torture your poor, poor heart.

Speaking of your heart, you at least hoped that Iwaizumi couldn’t hear it violently pounding against the walls of your chest—how it aggressively wanted to jump out of its confines, and onto his palm.

Unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi heard just fine—he swore your heart stuttered.

Were you nervous? He wanted to be delusional, and think that he was the one making your heart race like this, even though he clearly saw the empty can of energy drink you threw in the bin earlier. Though, on the back of Iwaizumi’s mind, despite the low possibility of his reciprocated feelings, he was oddly confident that it’d never be zero. 

Maybe he was just purely delusional.

“Sorry for inconveniencing you like this, I’m just a bit stressed.” Another lie.

Oh, Iwaizumi wasn’t stressed at all. In fact, he was actually kicking the assignment’s ass that he’s almost a whole week early in submitting it before the scheduled deadline. If anything, it was all child’s play to him. The real reason he was doing this was to simply have you closer to him, nothing else.

He felt kind of bad for lying to you like this since it was a purely selfish reason but could you really blame his heart?

The two of you stayed in complete silence for a moment, basking in the afternoon glow of the sun. The park was now deserted, students, and other park goers opting to head home before the sun fully retired behind the horizon; it was peaceful, as though you, and Iwaizumi were in your own world—something you could both get used to.

Back in his dorm, Iwaizumi unceremoniously plopped onto his swivel chair, he hooked an arm over his eyes, recounting memories of earlier, he could still feel the warmth of your shoulder on his cheek, and the calming tune of your heartbeat.

“What’s got you all in a mess like that?” Oikawa spoke from his bed which caused Iwaizumi to jump from his friend’s sudden voice. “What the fuck, Oikawa?! Don’t do that.” The latter turned his chair to face the brunette, an all-too-familiar scowl written all over his handsome face. Oikawa could only shrug in response, amusement painted on his face at the state of his friend.

“You’re probably not gonna tell me about it so I’ll take it upon myself to talk about something else,”

Before Iwaizumi could even mentally pray that it’s not some stupid gossip, Oikawa was already sitting up on his bed, and clearing his throat to speak.

“Do you remember that confession I read out loud a few days ago? They posted another one, look.” The brunette hastily peeled himself from under the ivory covers, and within a second, he was in front of Iwaizumi, phone shoved abnormally close to the latter’s face, causing him to jerk back a bit.

Clearly, he had all the time in the world with how updated he was with this goddamn confessions page. Iwaizumi wasn’t going to lie, he remembered details about that particular confession from a few days ago far more than the contents of his lectures. Not on purpose, though, moreso out of his own will.

Every hallway he walked, every lecture room he entered, every café he studied at, and every bathroom he used, at least two students were talking about it. Iwaizumi couldn’t care to listen in on their conversations nor did he want to, it wasn’t like talking about it more would somewhat reveal the person behind these confessions.

Iwaizumi couldn’t even escape it even in his own room. Though, this was normal, as if the whole campus ran solely on juicy gossip.

Of course it was about that damn confessions page, Oikawa was practically it’s number one fan at this point, Iwaizumi bets the former probably has a ‘Top Fan’ badge with how much he interacts with each, and every confession they post. He wouldn’t be surprised if the brunette openly admitted to sending in submissions to the page.

He grabbed the phone off Oikawa’s hand, and read it. Iwaizumi figured entertaining his friend’s antics would be much better than resisting it since he could get extremely annoying at times—all the time, even.

‘Today, I asked him if he was stressed and he agreed without hesitation. It pains my heart to see him beneath grey clouds; I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him until all the stress drains from his body, until he’s smiling again and a subtle dimple forms on his cheeks, until he lets out a hearty, melodic laugh that I’ve grown to love but don’t be mistaken, I’ll love him whatever version of himself he presents. Wholeheartedly. Maybe—if only—he’ll let me be his safe space, not just a best friend but something more.’

Huh, how weird. Why did his heart flutter? This wasn’t even for him.

Iwaizumi’s eyes shifted back, and forth, back, and forth over each sentence until they reached the end. He did this for a total of four times, and each time—without fail—his mind wandered back to fifteen minutes ago where he was sitting on a wooden park bench with you, his head on your shoulder. It was like the confession described exactly what happened earlier.

He recounted your words, and how you were talking about how stressed he was. From this perspective, everything fit in perfectly like a puzzle piece but was Iwaizumi reaching too hard? Was his mind playing tricks on him just to convince himself that these two confessions came from you? As far as he knows, you’ve never even sent in a submission yourself but that didn’t mean you couldn’t.

Okay, maybe Iwaizumi was being delusional. All those years pining after you had finally gotten to his brain, and turned him into nothing but a yearning, pathetic man.

Though, the confession easily could have been from anyone. Not to mention how it's been such a tough semester so far, it made sense for the anonymous submitter to write about their best friend being stressed about something. Right? Right. Iwaizumi was getting way ahead of himself for assuming such things, he blamed it on his mind stubbornly shaping reality into things that benefited his situation.

He was looking too deeply into this.

See, this was the consequence of letting one Oikawa Tooru get inside one’s head, clearly, it’s the brunette’s fault for even showing something that didn’t concern Iwaizumi at all. And it could only get worse from here.

Oikawa impatiently pulled his phone away from Iwaizumi’s hold, reeling the latter back into reality. The brunette read the paragraph once more before letting out an amused hum, catching his friend’s attention.

He puckered his lips, brown eyes narrowed, and brows subtly knitted together as he stared at his phone. Oh. Iwaizumi didn’t like that expression at all, and he sure wasn’t going to like the words coming out of Oikawa’s mouth next. He knew that face all too well, it screamed nothing but mischief, and a thirst for chaos.

“Say, Iwa-chan, you have dimples when you smile just like the post mentioned. Haha—won’t it be interesting if these confessions were for you?”

What the fuck?

—

tags: @stunie @akumakitsune21 @boosyboo9206 @khfviq @avis-writeshq @elliesndg @1929sleepdeprived @wakashudou @lillycore @viscoolreal @lialia3945 @softpia @anqelkoz @tar0sw0rld @nwhaerin @kiyuwumi @seroh @eggyrocks @jellysupremacy @songofgratitude @gsyche @haikyuusunsalad @smellysluna @amoosarte (lmk if you wanna be tagged and don’t forget to turn your mentions on :3)

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @the-all-stars-network !

© chrollogy 2024 | don't plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!

I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D

We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.

Warning: long post 😊😅

This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe

Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3

Peem: *bombastic side eye*

Also Peem: *leans into him*

Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼

Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.

Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊

Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭

If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭

Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)

Toey with his P'Q:

However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼

IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T

Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE

Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?

*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay

The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer

Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭

What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as a football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).

With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)

^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼

This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.

I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.

This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.

I love them. So much.

Beer is me, I am Beer.

Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼

This scene was also so beautiful.

They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.

I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.

Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.

I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.

Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.

It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.

Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀

Simp. (affectionate)

I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe

Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭

"You were born in Thailand."

Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭

wait.

A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??

Colour me surprised!

I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol

So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea 🧋

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

A very Spidey Christmas - Hobie

Pairing: Hobie Brown x GN!Reader (1610!Miles, Gwen, 42!Miles, Margo, and Pavitr are here too)

Word count: 992

Warnings: One cuss word, usage of nicknames (peng, dove, my love) Hobie calls Miles ‘Peter Pan’ (not a warning per se but I just thought ppl might now understand it bc it might be a lil obscure or smth idk) slightly ooc Gwen, mild ghostflower/gwiles and some (subtle) prowlerbyte stuff <3

A/N: Can you tell I put the most effort into this 💔

VEE I USED YOUR GUIDE 😁 very helpful 10/10 would recommend so everyone go give it a read!

The sun was slowly sinking on the horizon, lighting up the frozen patterns inside the icicles hanging on the branches of trees as you finished determinedly constructing your snowman. Or rather, snow-building.

You had been hard at work for almost an hour now, and with the first traces of the evening starting to graze the darkening sky you stepped back to admire your handiwork, then decided to go over to everyone one by one to see their creations.

You had made an elaborately-designed snow-igloo, complete with miniature city built from snow surrounding it. You had painstakingly replicated the Brooklyn Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, and the Empire State Building out of small sticks and carefully-placed blankets of snow.

Your pride and joy of your entire display, however, was the diverse cast of tiny snow-people that sat on the ceiling dome of the igloo in various candid poses.

Snow-Hobie was distinguished by giant boots and a leather vest, the spikes on his mask and shoulders - made from twigs that were meticulously selected - sticking out at random angles as he played his little guitar for his audience. Which was, of course, namely the snow version of you - sitting cross-legged in front of him, every bit as supportive of him as you were in real life.

Ballet slippers and a hood set Gwen apart from the others as she danced en-pointe on the edge of the igloo, the perfect muse for an artist’s sketches. You had managed to replicate Miles’ hairstyle to a tee on his snow doppelgänger as he sat with his sketchbook in front of him, drawing Gwen as she posed for him.

Snow-Pavitr hung off one of the lower levels of the igloo’s walls, a thin web connecting him to the ceiling as his hair - and the fabric of his dhoti pants - all flopped to one side. Snow-Margo with her Afro puffs and the tiny version of the other Miles with his Prowler suit and braids were engaged in a conversation on the other side of the igloo dome, random parts of machinery scattered around them as they compared notes on everything they knew about technology and tinkering.

You wandered over to where Miles was working away at his snow sculpture, looking over his shoulder at the sharp edges and added flair of various leaves, stems and flowers which made his unique art style all the more recognizable even off the paper.

“What’re you making, Miles?”

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I’m actually trying to build Gwen… I’m not sure if it’s coming out well though.” He sat back and rubbed the back of his neck as he critically examined his creation. You took in the petals forming her hood, the leaves wrapped over each other to form her chucks, and the stems woven together to imitate a web shooting out from her wrist. “Well, I think it’s really cool.”

“Wait, really? Miles, that’s so sweet! I’m trying to make you too!” Gwen, who was sitting only a few feet away, gave him a warm smile and Miles just about lit up brighter than a Christmas tree. You chuckled under your breath at his reaction.

“I made a dog!” Pavitr piped up, proudly gesturing to his snow-dog. “His name’s Gulab Jamun!”

He was unfortunately sitting right in one of the sun’s last dying rays, so the dog’s face looked a little bit like a melted candle, but everything else had turned out pretty well.

“Pavi, I think now might not be the best time,” Margo murmured with a soft laugh, crouching to look at his sculpture. “It’s a good dog though.”

“They’re so in love it makes me sick,” Miles remarked, standing and looking at Gwen and Miles skeptically with his arms crossed. Margo lifted her head to glare up at him and he raised his palms in mock surrender. Though the small, fond smile that tugged at his lips as he looked at the purple spidergirl didn’t quite escape your watchful gaze.

“Don’t worry about ‘im, Peter Pan! ‘E’s just taking the mick,” Hobie called out reassuringly to Miles, who was now frowning slightly at the version of himself from another universe. “Lay off him, bruv! Man’s trying his best, innit?”

You joined Hobie a few metres away from everyone, where he appeared to be taking a break. “‘Ey, dove!” He called, his eyes lighting up with a grin when he saw you. You went to sit next to him and he wrapped a long arm around you. “‘Ow’s it goin’?”

“It’s good! I just about finished.” You turned to angle your gaze down at his… sculpture? Was that the right word for it? Maybe the term abstract art piece fit better? “Hobie, love, what’s yours supposed to be?”

“Oh, it’s a me’aphor for capi’alism.”

“Did it… fall apart?” You asked carefully, not wanting to come off as rude but also trying your best to understand what was in front of you.

“What d’you mean, peng ting? I actually patterned up and made it as thought-provokin’ as I could,” He sounded so genuinely puzzled by your questions that you decided to stop beating around the bush.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Hobie, that’s a pile of snow throwing up a middle finger.” You leaned forward slightly to see his masterpiece - a deliberately messy pile of snow flipping the world off, complete with a Norman Osborne figurine drowning in the snow in the centre, it’s eyes scratched out in Sharpie with bold X’s. “And is that… an Osborne action figure? Is this supposed to be something about him drowning in money he doesn’t deserve or even need? And the snow is supposed to symbolize the money saying, ‘fuck the world’?”

“See, now ya got it!” Hobie said proudly, not at all offended by your confusion and slight skepticism. “Now let’s go inside, shall we? My fingers are startin’ to freeze.”

“Your fingers are always freezing. Honestly, you’re somehow always so cold it’s a wonder that you’re not perpetually an ice cube.”

“All I’m ‘earin’ is that you think ‘m cool.”

@vhstown @l0starl @tatumis-a @deritosmi @hobiebrownismygod @therealloopylupin2099

[ratsoh-writes]

"Since when are you social enough to invite so many people??" Ah, Mavi arrived. Waddling behind her were Pluto and his friends that he was allowed to invite.

The quadruplets ran up to mavi, cheering about their aunt being there. She pickes them all up and nuzzles them "my little rats!"

Not a bit after King arrived with his people.

"So like, dude, are you dying? Is Artemis doing good?" He asked, no one was buying it that Kovu wanted just a social gathering at his place.

The Kovu? The drake skeleton that pretends bot knowing english to escape conversations.

"I swear if this is some stupjd prank, I'll turn your wings into pretty feather dusters" Nirjara, kings older sister, threatened.

Mavi snorted, throwing in a yap as well "I bet he's gonna piss dad the fuck off, aren't ya?"

Kovu just took a sip of his drink

"Isn't that what i always try to do?"

The three skeletal hybrids sighed, touché Kovu.

@under-art-reblogs @the1920sisntaphasemom @a-very-tired-raven @genius-shelly

Next to arrive is mal lord Maverick cash and edgy. Mal is dressed cute but casually, while cash is in his usual guarb. His nasty safety cone orange cargo pants and a black and purple tshirt. Edgy is matching him as well which you all are sure is pissing mal off. At least maverick knows how to dress

Mal: KOVU! HOW… UNUSUALLY SOCIAL OF YOU TO BRING EVERY ONE HERE. DID WINE FINALLY MAKE AN ENEMY BOGGER THAN HIM AND F*CK OFF OR SOMETHING?

Wine: I LOVE YOU TWO MY FRIEND~

Wine has arrived with coffee kyra and lord and mutt. Mutts just tired looking, and doesn’t have his raccoon, so he’s most likely gonna hang off of lord for the afternoon. Lord looks cute in a grey button up and black slacks. Wine dresses up a bit more..

Oh stars, while he’s not in a suit per se, if he buttoned his collar and put on a tie that you just know is in his back pocket, he’d be wedding ready. Artemis was right about him suspecting something. He gives kovu a sharp glance that just screams “if this is what I think it is, I’m killing you tonight”

The last ones to arrive around the same time are slim and Kay, and Helios and sea. Kovu had insisted to coffee on making his pseudo gamer uncle come over. Coffee clearly went the blackmail route as slim looks rather huffy at being here. Kay looks happy though as she makes a beeline for Artemis and kyra. They’re buddies! Sea heads to Artemis as well while Helios goes to say hi to wine first

[cordeliaandthecocoapuffs]

hii cordelia i just finished reading august (nico's version ) and i loved it sm but i cant help but wonder what you think of tsats so can you please give your review on the book :)

hello thank you i'm so happy you liked the fic!!! <3

as for TSATS: i have to say that overall i'm not a fan but that isn't to say that there aren't some positive aspects! a lot of the reasons i didn't like it are more subjective but i do think there are a couple of issues that are, objectively, examples of bad writing or actively harmful ideas.

first off the 'big issues' that i had:

the pacing of the book overall and the lack of danger that it felt like nico and will were in...really disappointing. how are you going to write a book about a quest to tartarus, the most dangerous place for any demigod, and the actual quest in tartarus is less than half of the book and they never actually seem to be at risk of dying? i know there were some moments where it got a little prickly but it just never felt like high-stakes to me, especially when you compare it to the other instance of tartarus we've had.

the coming out scene. oh boy. this is what i'm talking about when i say actively harmful. i'm sure it wasn't meant to be this way, but it feeds into a lot of very icky tropes about how gay people have to be proudly out and loudly declaring their sexualities and be like...a 'paragon' of homosexuality in order to be valid and set an example for other people. it also put will in a strange position and while i don't think that he was forcibly outed, per se, it's definitely not a happy situation where he could 100% make the decision for himself and that's how it always should be. i was honestly shocked that an LBGT+ author would write something like this and see it as a happy positive scene.

not quite as bad but still something i find very weird was the scene retelling solangelo's first kiss. that should either have been excluded entirely or expanded upon more because as it's written, it sounds a lot like nico was in the worst mental state of his life and will just decided to try to make him feel better by kissing him as a surprise. it made me feel really uncomfortable to read because in that moment of being incredibly upset (and from the way it was described in ToA, nico was not really with it) nico wasn't able to give consent. if they'd kissed before and it was an established way of offering comfort that's one (still a little bit dodgy without context) thing, but as a first kiss? ew

the dream scene. firstly, bianca was reborn, and the explanation of "an exception was made!" does NOT cut it. it's also highly disrespectful to her character. she specifically avoided nico when he tried to summon her because she was scared he'd bring her back to life. she wanted rebirth, and she chose it, and then they yanked her back? gross, tbh. additionally, it gave hades a shield. he hid behind maria and bianca when he should have been the one apologising. it could have been such a meaningful scene with hades saying he's sorry for how things went and how he treated nico, but nope. additionally, it undid a whole boatload of nico's character development. he is about struggling through grief and resolving trauma and finding his own closure and to just throw in his dead mother and sister...it cheapened all of that.

and now the more nitpicky/subjective things!

the characterisation was just...off. not because nico was happy or because will was anxious - i was actually happy to see that! - but just in a lot of the little actions. for example, nico's lack of respect for the dead, and also just the general way they talked. it didn't feel like their character voices to me.

a lot of the times that the two of them argued it didn't feel like it got resolved. i understand and accept that they're down in tartarus, it's warping their emotions, very stressful, etc., but it never felt like they actually sorted any of their issues out to me.

the lack of characters like hazel and reyna...like some of the people most important to nico were only mentioned as a passing thought yet characters like dakota and connor were so randomly shoehorned in just so readers would go 'omg reference'...like make it meaningful if you're going to do that, please.

the way that percabeth were, again, shoehorned in. it stood out as a really jarring section to me. sure, they've been to tartarus before, sure, but so has nico, and his whole reasoning of 'they went as a couple they can offer advice for us' was really weak imo.

the quote "he'd always been known as the demigod who wouldn't eat. Why had he let himself get to the point of starvation over and over again?" maybe because he had an eating disorder caused by incredible trauma. why is the book trying to make it sound like he was just being silly and stubborn when he has severe PTSD. this irked me so badly.

the fact that the book disregarded not only the canon of the other books (not an entirely new thing for this series, admittedly, but still annoying) but also itself. it genuinely contradicts itself. who was editing. who was doing the final checks. why did nobody notice that nico called himself the son of bianca di angelo until it was published. come on guys.

i could tell in quite a few places where rick had written one paragraph and then mark had written the next. the transition between the two was sometimes really obvious and could be really jarring!

these are VERY small nitpicky things even within the 'small nitpicky things' category but why did nico keep shortening 'pomegranate' to 'pom' and how does nico know about the dam jokes and why are there so many modern references when this book is set in like...2011? (i know the books are meant to be anachronistic technically but rick obliterated that when he had nico specifically mention the time he's from followed by frank thinking that nico is seventy years older than him. there is now a timeline, richard.)

okay that is a LOT of negative points and tbh i stand by them but like i said, i know that most of them are subjective so if people disagree then that's cool! those are just my honest opinions BUT also, there are some great moments that i'd like to highlight:

will being given a cheese hat and resignedly accepting said cheese hat

the non-binary trog (screech-bling? i can't quite remember and i don't have a copy of the book on hand rn) who has an intensely obvious crush on will. absolutely beautiful.

some of the lines in the book (especially the dialogue) are genuinely quite funny (again i'm blanking on most of the specifics but i remember reading a few and thinking 'oh good some moments of happiness in the gaping black abyss of this book') however i do recall will trying to speak trog and accidentally threatening to eat them or something. also beautiful.

however overall...i'd give the book a 3/10. i would give it much higher if it didn't have the glaring issues i mentioned first. i think without those i'd give it a solid 6 or 7!

[thelampisaflashlight]

Strangely Human Rewrite 2: Pretend

[Dew struggles behind closed doors. This one is a bit heavy as a heads up, and deals with the rougher part of Dew's transformation into a ghoul.] Below the cut.

It has been a little over a week since the ghouls decided that they'd had enough of Mountain and Dew's petty little... whatever you wanna call it.

At the very least, Mountain can't ignore Dew anymore, not with a section of their shared wall missing, and, try as he might to cover the hole, Dew lacks the motivation to do anything beyond hang up Mountain's stupid beaded curtain.

Which, admittedly, doesn't look too bad.

Dew's honestly not sure why he's even still mad at Mountain, or if he's just mad in general.

It's hard to distinguish what's genuine anger and just... him being in irritable from feeling sick.

Dew doesn't have the energy these days to unpack his suitcases -still set in the middle of his floor mocking him- let alone pick through his feelings.

Perhaps that has something to do with it.

His lethargy, the perpetual feeling of malaise... it's one thing to deal with it behind closed doors, but now he has Mountain, who isn't in his space per se, but within sight more often than not these days.

Who shifts noticeably in his sleep whenever Dew gets up in the middle of the night or glances through the partition if he lays in bed for too long.

Sometimes, Dew's heart will warm a little when he sees Mountain's face pop into view from around the corner.

He tries not to be obvious with his concern because they're sort of fighting, but kind of not.

But, at times, it's... it's too much to be seen when he's feeling bad, and he knows the guy means well, but Dew needs his alone time, and he hasn't been getting much of that lately, and not just because he and Mounty are roommates now.

None of the ghouls are leaving him be.

Not since Aether discovered the rough patches on his skin had begun to spread.

"I... I don't know what's happening." he admitted, brow creased with worry as he tried and failed to make the scaly skin smooth out again to no avail, "I don't know how to help."

What's worse, is that the patches have started to itch now.

The only thing that seems to soothe the persistent ache is water.

Not lotion or a cooling balm -they tried that and it had burned so bad soaking into his skin that Aether all but threw him into the shower to wash it off of him- just water.

He spends a lot of time in the bath, soaking, leaving the door open so he can talk to Mountain even though they're totally still fighting.

Totally.

Neither of them have really apologized to one another, but Dew can only go so long sitting in silence before he starts to go a little stir crazy, and being sick certainly brings out the worst in him in that regard.

That said, it's nearly impossible to force two unwilling individuals to share a room, especially two grown adults, so, perhaps, the fact that Mountain has not abandoned his room, and Dew hasn't returned to his old accommodations is their own stubborn way of saying sorry.

Who knows.

Any which way, as Dew lets the water run over him like a dehydrated houseplant, Mountain is sat with his back leaning against the edge of the tub, fiddling with one of the bath toys Sunny had happily tossed into Dew's bathroom that morning.

It's a light blue crab with its eyes poorly painted on, made of a soft, hollow rubber that squirts water when squeezed, and although Dew had been a little annoyed being given something clearly for toddlers... he did have to admit it made wasting his days soaking in the tub a lot less boring.

"Hey, Mount?" Dew asks, shoving a small red and yellow octopus beneath the water, releasing it so he can watch it pop above the surface and bobble about.

"Yes?"

"Do you think... Do you think I'm dying?"

The earth giant turns to him, letting his elbow slip over the edge into the water, fingers still worrying the toy and frowns.

"I don't." he says.

"Why not?"

And Mountain pauses then, arm drooping further beneath the soapy water as he breathes.

Green meets amber, and in a voice so painfully small, he says...

"Because I don't want you to."

.

.

.

"It is possible that the last ritual had some delayed side effects." Papa says, wincing as he sees Dew practically clawing at his own neck, scratching at the long, angry looking marks already drawn there.

If he weren't so preoccupied itching, Dew would make some kind of witty remark, but his throat is sore, so he just glares at him, bemused.

"Then does that mean Dew is becoming a ghoul? Or is he... is he cursed somehow?" Aether asks, hopeful that it's the former not the latter.

"We suspect that Dew is undergoing the transition gradually, as opposed to all at once as the ritual was meant to do." Papa explains, "However... it's unclear which..."

He breathes in.

"It's unclear which element his body is shifting into..."

Aether tenses, "Elaborate."

"They tried turning me into water first." Dew says, cutting into the conversation, still dragging his nails down his neck, "Then fire. Twice."

"How come it didn't work the first time?" Aether wonders, grabbing Dew's hand to stop him from tearing at his skin anymore, "How is that even possible?"

"Well..." Papa clears his throat and sighs, "...we don't know. One theory that has been proposed is that Dewdrop already has a demonic attachment, which would explain why the previous rituals did not take... and, perhaps, that entity, the one preventing his transition, is finally tapping into the magic from the ritual."

"How would I..." Dew holds up his hand, "How the fuck could I have already been possessed and not know it?"

"I did not say possessed, I said you might have an attachment. It's not quite the same thing." Papa says, "But that's just one theory. I am more inclined to believe the second one, being that you may have had an ancestor who laid with a demonic entity at some point, meaning you were already technically a demon, and the rituals made it more... pronounced."

"...I personally do not wanna imagine being a monster fucker is a familial trait-"

"I mean that IS how the original ghouls were made..." Papa trails off, "But I digress."

"I don't think it's too much of a digression to imply that rawing demons may have lead to my current predicament... Maybe I caught something from the ghouls?" Dew mumbles, "Some kinda weird demon STD...?"

Aether frowns, "Dude."

"What? We all fuck around. A LOT. I'm just saying-"

Papa coughs into his hand.

"At any rate, we will look into the cause more thoroughly soon enough. Until then, monitor your symptoms and report any notable changes."

Dew pouts the entire way back to the dorms.

"That was completely fucking useless." he complains, scratching at his neck again, leaving the skin raw underneath his nails.

"Dew-" Aether starts, then tenses, "Dew, stop scratching, you'll make yourself bleed at this rate."

"It fucking itches." Dew grouses, then adds in a tired voice, "...It fucking hurts."

Aether furrows his brow, "It's only going to get worse if you keep that up. C'mon, let's get you back in the t-"

"I don't want to get back in the fucking tub, Aeth, I want to be able to actually get shit done, but I can't, because it feels like someone fried me and ran my skin through a cheese grater..." He hisses, itching the dry patches on his arms now, "I can't even fucking sleep-"

"You haven't been sleeping?"

Dew mumbles something under his breath.

"What?"

"I said of course I fucking haven't!" Dew cries, "I'm either shredding myself to pieces or trying not to drown, and any time I DO get the chance to lay down, my spine feels like someone is pulling it out my ass!"

"...You didn't mention the spine part when we had our check-up earlier." Aether says, "I told you to tell me if there was anything new! You-"

"I-" Dew gives a frustrated shout and stomps his feet, "I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE BEING UP IN MY BUSINESS, OKAY?!"

"D-"

"Every fucking day. Every fucking day! Someone is asking me, 'Hey, are you alright?' or 'How are you feeling?' and you know what?! I FEEL LIKE SHIT!" he digs his hands into his hair, "I feel like shit, Aether, and it's not getting any better."

"It's not getting any better..."

"Dew, it will. It will get better, it's just going to take time." Aether tries, reaching out to pull Dew into a hug, but as soon as his fingers brush the other man's sides, Dew flinches.

Hard.

"Fuck!"

Dew curls into himself.

"Dew?!" Aether startles, placing his hands on Dew's shoulders, "What's wrong?!"

"Don't touch me!"

.

.

.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Dew's getting worse.

A lot worse.

Every day seems to drag on and on and on.

And he doesn't sleep.

Just lays awake, too tired to even think of raking his fingers across his skin.

Mountain keeps the others updated, lets Aether in to check on him, but no one else really visits anymore, because every time anyone starts to speak, Dew snaps at them.

Physically.

He's taken to biting anyone who gets too close.

Even poor Rain, who had just been trying to ease his symptoms with a bit of his magic met the painful bite of blunt teeth.

"You should apologize." Swiss tells him late one night, sat beside his bed, he sounds like he's angry, or trying to be.

But more than that, he just sounds worried.

"When you're better, you have to-"

"Swiss..."

"Yes?" the multi ghoul asks, feeling hopeful.

That hope fades quickly as Dew rolls over to face him in the darkness, replaced with grief.

Dew's entire face is flaking like ash, like he's one breath away from being reduced to nothing but dust.

"...I'm sorry."

[topazadine]

How to Use Chomolungma for Writing Adventure Stories; Or, the Plot Mountain Method

Estimated Reading Time: 13 Minutes

I've become a little obsessed with stories of Chomolungma lately. You probably know this sacred Nepalese mountain by its Westernized name, Mount Everest.

Anyway, I'm never going to scale the world's highest peak because I have no interest in losing any of my toes to frostbite or dying of pulmonary edema. Don't think I'm about to go dashing off into the wilderness.

BUT I think we writers can derive a lot of lessons from mountain climbers when plotting for grand adventure novels.

And why the hell is that? Why Chomolungma specifically? Well, I'll explain.

Just a head's up that my advice probably won't apply to romances, mysteries, or anything other than your typical "we're going on an adventure to slay a dragon or whatever." I don't have much experience in those genres and am not going to step on any toes.

As usual, this is just my opinion. There are thousands of different plotting tools out there, and this is only one of them. If you don't like it, then no need to use it. I'm simply giving you a different option. Alright, let's go!

I am sure you have seen this diagram a million billion times and are very tired of it.

It's not wrong, per se; in fact, it looks much like a mountain. Most stories do indeed have these same parts, and so will yours if you use the Plot Mountain method.

However, there's some things that this simplified version doesn't explain:

It acts as if you're just constantly ramping up pressure. There's no breathers to let readers catch up.

There are no differential tensions to keep interest.

There are no "mini-climaxes" that impress upon the reader a sense of danger.

We are not provided with an understanding of how to create different stages of the plot within the rising action.

There is no discussion of how characterization changes during the course of the plot.

It's not explained how to organize the falling action in order to provide continued tension and character development.

I also have some problems with other common plotting methods, specifically Save the Cat and the Hero's Journey. Mostly, I think that they get really tiring and formulaic because they're just so rigid. There's little room to add your own flare; you're plugging all the shit in as intended.

Save the Cat especially irks me because it basically demands that you divide up your story into little percentages so everything happens right according to this algorithm.

If I start to get a hint that your story was designed by adhering to these standards, then I can just predict what's going to happen and I don't care anymore. "Oh ... there's the B Story. I guess the Fun and Games is coming next. Yippee."

One time, I had someone beta read one of my manuscripts, and she complained that my story didn't exactly match this structure.

"I couldn't figure out where Act 1 ends and Act 2 begins!" she wailed. Well, given that I didn't design my story according to strict acts, it's no wonder you couldn't find them.

Also, I hate math. Don't infest my passion with my nemesis, please.

So, I challenge you to think a bit differently using my method instead. It combines characterization with plot and momentum to offer you a natural setup for a great story. Thinking of your story this way forces you to focus on how all elements come together, and it discourages you from piling on dumb shit that won't help.

My option is also more flexible; I'm not telling you exactly when and where the stuff needs to happen. That's up to you, babe. You're the boss.

Key elements of Plot Mountain

Your plot must be desirable for some reason.

Whatever goal your characters have should feel worthwhile. People spend their life's savings and a good portion of their lives to get to Chomolungma, facing down all the frustrations and disappointments to do it.

While your character may not necessarily know what is in store for them, they should nevertheless have a reason for wanting to achieve whatever you've got going on.

You need to "equip" your characters by giving them the skills and purpose necessary to tackle this challenge.

Mountain-madness-morons who think themselves "Chosen Ones" are generally the ones that fuck up and die. That's why you have all these rich tourists falling into crevasses, where their bodies are trapped forever.

Similarly, you must demonstrate to your readers that your character is somehow worthy of the challenge you're giving them.

Sometimes, this means they have the natural passion and inclination but need some training. At Chomolungma Base Camp, the native Sherpas give their charges some lessons in high-altitude mountaineering before they head off onto the mountain, even if they have experience. This is your "orientation session" for the characters that shows why they, specifically, can handle what you are throwing at them.

Every character has a reason for being there.

This is a good reminder for people who have a tendency to cram a million characters into their stories.

A Chomolungma expedition is not composed of random passersby who feel like going up a mountain today. Everyone there brings something unique to the table and must work in concert to achieve their goal.

This offers you many options for main characters and support characters. For example, an expedition team can have mountain climbers, Sherpa guides, porters, and a camera crew, and you can give your main cast similar roles.

Your characters have agency and make choices.

No one just kinda wanders up Chomolungma. They must consistently make the right decision, and it's rare for a deus ex machina to pop in.

Yes, things fit together to make things happen, and there are sometimes miracles, but for the most part, it is the preparation, experience, and some external circumstances (like weather) that decide whether someone lives or dies. No last-minute Hail Marys or interventions from on high.

There is a time crunch.

It's rare to summit Chomolungma in the winter because it's just too dangerous, so climbers need to head off during the spring and summer, before the weather turns nasty. There's a short window of opportunity.

Because the Nepalese government only issues a limited number of expedition passes each year, and they're so expensive, many people only get one shot in their entire lives. Everything has to go perfectly or they may never get to try again.

Additionally, being at altitude for any period of time is dangerous, which keeps people pushing for the summit even when they want to give up and go home.

You should show the pressure of your plot, explaining why it needs to be done right now rather than ten years in the future. We must feel that this is essential and that time could run out.

Every summit attempt is fraught with peril, and many have to turn back.

It is incredibly common for expeditions to hit bad weather and have to abandon the summit push; every climber knows and fears this.

Demonstrating that it's entirely possible not to hit your climax infuses the story with a sense of danger. It can also help you decide what might be more impactful and relevant to your story: having to turn back (which opens the door for a sequel) or getting to the summit and celebrating.

Not everyone makes it to the top.

You probably know that Chomolungma has at least 200 bodies littered across it, many of which have become signposts for other climbers attempting not to meet the same fate. There are likely dozens of others that have been blown away by the wind into crevasses or buried under snow.

Depending on your genre, you can and should show that others have failed, or even kill one of your characters during the "summit attempt" to highlight the peril.

Thinking of different plot points as camps reminds you that you need moments of downtime.

While you can't overstay your welcome on Chomolungma, you also can't be climbing 24/7; you'll straight up die. It's important to stop, take a break, and acclimate to the different altitudes as you keep going.

"ABC" stands for "Advanced Base Camp," basically right at the foot of the mountain. It's where you actually start your summit push. North Col is also known as Camp 1.

The camps, I think, are the key element of the Plot Mountain method, because they remind you that your story needs to "plateau" at a few different points to give your characters (and readers) time to breathe.

This doesn't mean that there's no tension at all, because things can still go bad at camp. It just means we're slowing down, recapping things, allowing for character development and maybe a bit of backstory.

You can also allow your characters to meet background characters at these camps, knowing that they will not be around forever. These background characters can offer helpful advice, sow doubt, or impress upon us the risks that will be up ahead.

Each "push" between camps is a little different, with unique dangers.

As you head up Chomolungma, there are different challenges to overcome between each camp; this may be steeper climbs or dangerous crevasses with only a tiny metal ladder to keep you from plunging to your death. Driving snow and fierce gusts can blow you off the mountain as you get higher and higher.

And, of course, there's the Death Zone at the top, where's there's practically no oxygen whatsoever and it's so freezing cold that you may lose your feet.

The danger rises with every push toward the summit, reminding you to build the tension and demonstrate the dangers in your story. After each camp, you'll show brand new risks that nevertheless fit into the plot.

A climax can't overstay its welcome.

After spending all this time preparing to reach the top of the world, climbers actually don't get that much time on the summit. It's freezing cold, the air is impossibly thin, and they need to head down before it gets dark.

Similarly, you need to let the climax linger just long enough to offer catharsis without boring everyone. This is the height of the tension, so keep it fast but thorough.

The summit isn't the end of the journey.

Many people rush to the climax and then spend almost no time wrapping things up, which makes the story feel incomplete. While the downclimb doesn't need to last as long as the summit push, you should still devote a chapter or two to the falling action, which may have its own dangers.

Characters must be changed by their time on Plot Mountain.

No one comes back from Chomolungma without changing. Maybe they have a renewed sense of purpose or a better appreciation for life. Maybe they have made friends, discovered themselves, gained better skills.

Or maybe they lost some toes while up there. Or lost a friend.

Whatever you choose, it must be clear that your characters have grown and evolved throughout the course of their story. They need to end up somewhere different internally, even if they are returning right back to base camp.

How to Use the Plot Mountain Method

Here's the major points you'll hit using Plot Mountain. This is a bit of a simplification, of course, because technically Camp 3 is in the Death Zone (above 26,247 feet), but look, we're fiction writers, not mountaineers.

Base Camp

This is the exposition, where you tell us a bit about the characters, the world, etc.

Base Camp -> ABC

We have a sense of momentum, that something is building up, but don't quite know what it is.

Advance Base Camp

The inciting event, where the character understands what is happening and must choose to accept or refuse. If they accept, they head up to North Col. If they refuse, well, you're going to push them up there.

ABC -> North Col

The first challenge (and the first chance to turn back). This is a sobering moment that impresses upon them that they are in peril, but it's not as risky as the next steps. If they came there against their will, this is when they start to get more committed and aren't refusing quite so much.

North Col

The first downtime. We learn more about the characters and get a better idea of the problem, but don't have all the details yet. Characters may still be a little delusional about what is happening. There may still be some resistance.

North Col -> Camp 2

The second challenge, which offers different dangers. The characters have faced difficulty now and have a better understanding of what is at stake. They are older, wiser, and less optimistic.

Camp 2

Characters may be questioning their ability, looking back down toward North Col and wondering if it would be cowardly to leave now. We have a better understanding of the potential dangers and the ramifications of failure.

Camp 2 -> Camp 3

The third challenge. The characters are fully committed and can't walk away. They know what they're going for and refuse to be deterred because they're so close to what they want. The dangers they face now give a taste of what the climax holds for them, impressing upon the readers that something enormous and risky will happen.

Camp 3

We are given a stronger understanding of this plot's full purpose and how it fits into the world. It's a time to stop and reflect on why this is important, what the characters have learned so far, and how their lives will change once they hit the climax.

The Death Zone

The dark before the dawn. Things are at their most difficult, but we're not quite there yet. The tension is extreme, and characters are truly fighting for their lives. They're scared, disoriented, and worn down by the challenges, but still willing to go on. There are no respites and no safe harbors. No one is going to save our characters but themselves.

Summit

Climax. It's fast, but not too fast: we get a chance to soak up what is happening, but we know that it won't last forever. There's a sense of pressure and the need to get out of the line of fire.

Death Zone Revisited

This is an opportunity to demonstrate how tired the characters are and the ramifications of their decisions. Things still feel fragile and dicey. We don't know whether the characters are out of danger just yet.

Camp 3

An opportunity to let the characters rest and reflect. We see the changes that have come about because of the climax and see them differently.

Camp 3 -> Base Camp

There's no need to linger all the way down the falling action; we don't require as much detail because we understand the world. Still, we should get a sense of how the characters navigate this new chapter of their lives and what they have learned.

Base Camp

The finale. It may be triumphant or heartbreaking, depending on what happened at the summit. Muted goodbyes, happy reunions, bittersweet reflection, and a sense that the characters are moving on with a better understanding of themselves.

And that's about it. You can add camps if you need to, or have little biovacs if your characters get stuck somewhere. You can find good places for description during those downtime moments. There's a lot to do!

I've created a masterlist of writing resources that you can peruse at your leisure, all for free.

The posts I write can sometimes take me hours - they're always intricate, always thoughtful. This one took me about 2.5 hours to complete.

I do this as a labor of love for the writing community, sharing what I have learned from almost 15 years of creative writing.

However, if you'd like to support me, maybe you'll consider buying my book? It's $0.99, which is about 7 cents for each minute you spent reading this post.

9 Years Yearning is a gay coming-of-age romance set in a fantasy world. It follows Uileac Korviridi, a young soldier training at the War Academy. His primary motivations are honoring the memory of his late parents, protecting his little sister Cerie, and becoming a top-notch soldier.

However, there's a problem: Orrinir Relickim, a rough and tough fellow pupil who just can't seem to leave Uileac alone.

The book features poetry, descriptions of a beautiful country inspired by Mongolia, and a whole lot of tsundere vibes.

You can also check it out on Goodreads for a list of expanded distribution.

If you do purchase my book, don't forget to leave a review!

Reviews are vital for visibility on Amazon and help to support indie authors like me. Whenever you love a book, be sure to let the author know! It's much appreciated.

[electronickingdomfox]

TOS season 3: subtext becomes text (part 1)

For part 2, go here: https://www.tumblr.com/electronickingdomfox/706187425022672896/tos-season-3-subtext-becomes-text-part-2

I’ve been wanting to write about the K/S elements in season 3 for a while, since this season is usually paid less attention than the other two, and I haven’t found as many analysis on it. First of all, I must say, I’m not precisely the most observant person when it comes to these things. A LOT of this stuff simply flies over my head, unless being pointed out by others. Or it’s simply that I don’t see it at all. So I don’t intend this to be a complete list of all instances of possible K/S in season 3. If you feel I left something important out, by all means, feel free to comment.

Having said that, one thing I noticed was that this season became a little more... obvious. And sometimes, the K/S elements started entering the script itself. It’s not that the previous two seasons didn’t have blatant moments (the back massage in Shore Leave is definitely in the script). But most of the homoerotic stuff come from the actors’ interpretation (above all Shatner), rather than the story or script per se. Even Amok Time is, on the surface, a story about Spock fighting Kirk for possession of a woman. And his happiness at the end, when he finds Kirk is alive, can always be interpreted as a sign of friendship and nothing more (I mean, I’m sure he’d be happy as well if he thought he had killed McCoy instead; maybe not THAT happy, but still...).

Now, some writers of the Star Trek team were explicitly against the idea of homoeroticism existing in the series. Namely, David Gerrold and Dorothy Fontana. And in the case of Gerrold, he’s not just “against it”; he’s been downright hateful towards slash and slashers throughout the decades. So it would be pointless to try to find K/S in the scripts written by these two. There can be no slash in the script for, let’s say, Tomorrow is Yesterday (though in that case, someone forgot to tell Shatner that he shouldn’t be undressing Captain Cristopher with his eyes).

But with this out of the way, here are the examples I found in season 3:

Spock’s Brain

There’s the usual “Kirk looking at Spock with lovey eyes”, but that’s nothing new. For some inscrutable reason, he also looks that way at McCoy while he’s talking about brain surgery or something, as if that was the most erotic thing in the world. 

The dude is so horny right now

But that’s not what I wanted to point out. This is the first of a series of episodes in this season, where Kirk and Spock are not just protective of each other (which they always were), but irrationally protective. If in Return to Tomorrow, Kirk would sacrifice Spock’s life for the greater good, here he won’t listen to any of McCoy’s very reasonable remarks: that they can’t search blindly for a brain through the galaxy, and even if they found it, he couldn’t restore it. Kirk won’t listen to any of this crap. He wants his brain, and he wants it NOW (for more Kirk going batshit crazy to save Spock, see The Search for Spock).

The Paradise Syndrome

Not so much in this episode. But towards the end, they find Kirk and Miramanee lying half-unconscious, and Kirk starts calling his wife. McCoy asks: “Wife?” And Spock’s most logical conclusion is that Kirk is... hallucinating (despite such wife being right there, you know).

Then Spock proceeds to do a very forceful mind-meld on Kirk to restore his memories. After asserting his dominance presence: “I am Spock”, he makes their minds to go closer, closer... All the while, Kirk fights back, calling Miramanee, as if he was losing her by going towards Spock. It’s also noteworthy that the reason Kirk married Miramanee in the first place, is explicitly because there’s no one else in his mind, or his heart. Enter Spock in that mind; then no more Miramanee. (Compare also his reaction to the news of Miramanee dying, with his reaction to Spock missing his brain). Really, poor Miramanee...

I would like to know if it’s possible to put pictures side by side in text posts...

Seeing this as K/S may be reaching, though, and it’s definitely less obvious than other examples. Just something I noticed, but feel free to disagree.

And the Children Shall Lead

This is another episode where the K/S stuff (in the turbolift scene) comes from the interpretation and the close-up camera, rather than the script itself. Though nonetheless, the scene is written in such a way, that requires Kirk to fall into Spock’s arms, and then being reassured by a whispered “Jim”. Possibly one of the boldest, most distinctly homoerotic scenes in the whole series.

Is There in Truth no Beauty?

This episode is very interesting. Dr. Miranda is clearly in love with cosmic horror Ambassador Kollos, whose mere sight drive men to madness. There’s even a man in love with Miranda, who gets rejected by her, making it very clear that is Kollos whom she loves. To this love triangle, add another one: Miranda gets really jealous of Spock when he achieves a connection with the (male-gendered) Kollos, that would be impossible for her. At one point, McCoy complains: “But they weren’t rivals in love.” Which is true, since Spock has no romantic interest in Kollos. Yet from Miranda’s point of view, it seems to be so.

Enter Kirk, and the love triangle becomes a... love square? Kirk has been very chivalrous and appreciative of Miranda up to this point. Until he starts seeing her jealousy as a threat to Spock’s life. Before entering the room where Miranda is, supposedly, healing Spock, he issues an ominous warning: “Whatever happens, Bones, don’t interfere”. Then this happens:

And here’s a bit of the dialogue, to give a feel of just how intense this whole scene is:

MIRANDA: No doubt you think I can wake him with a kiss. KIRK: It's worth a try, isn't it? After all, he's not a machine. MIRANDA: But he is a Vulcan. KIRK: Only half. The other half is human. Far more human than you, apparently. MIRANDA: Face reality, Captain. His mind has gone down almost too far even for me to reach! KIRK: If you don't reach him soon, he'll die. But that's what you want, isn't it? MIRANDA: That's a lie! KIRK: Oh yes? You want him to die. What did you do to him on the Bridge? Did you make him forget to put the visor over his eyes? MIRANDA: You're insane! KIRK: Yes, you know your rival, don't you? You couldn't keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos, something you couldn't do yourself! With my words, I'll make you hear such ugliness as Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes! The ugliness is within you! MIRANDA: That's a lie! Liar! KIRK: Your desire to see Kollos is madness! You can never see him. Never. But Spock saw Kollos, and for that he must die. MIRANDA: Sadistic, filthy liar! KIRK: The smell of hatred, the stench of jealousy permeates you. Why don't you strangle him while he lies there?

I don’t remember him being so harsh with anyone before, not even with actual villains. This is another example of Kirk going absolutely nuts when Spock’s life is in danger. It’s not even clear to me that all his accusations against Miranda are true, or he’s being simply blinded by jealousy.

Day of the Dove

Some people have pointed out that the camera focuses on Kirk and Spock where the Klingon introduces “his wife and science officer”. Personally, I think that’s accidental, so I’m not counting it. But your mileage may vary.

The Tholian Web

Time for Spock being the irrational one when Kirk’s in danger. It’s not the first episode where the logical Spock is not so logical when it’s about the Captain, though. In The Devil in the Dark, he forgot his concern for the horta as soon as Kirk was left alone with the creature. However, in that case there wasn’t so much at stake, just the survival of the horta itself.

This time, Spock’s insistence in saving Kirk compromises the whole crew (so much for the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the one, Spock). Not only is the ship being encased by the web of the Tholians while he waits for Kirk to reappear. But the dimensional rift is turning the crew mad, and prompting them to attack each other.

Again, McCoy is the voice of reason. Not because he cares any less for Kirk (I really don’t think that’s the case), but because the logical conclusion is that Kirk would be dead by now. A logical conclusion that Spock refuses to admit, apparently.

Of course, at the end there’s a happy ending, and Spock was proved right: Kirk was alive after all. But would have Spock risked the whole Enterprise’s crew if it was another person’s life in risk?

To be continued in Part Two, because this is getting far too long...

https://www.tumblr.com/electronickingdomfox/706187425022672896/tos-season-3-subtext-becomes-text-part-2

[vendetta-if]

💠💠

hey I'm just loving the story so so much and that scene with Yvette was *chefs kiss*...sorry this will probably be a long rant its just the things you've made me feel 😩😔...if I could read the entire story right now I'd sell a kidney 😂

I'm hoping we can have more conversations with Yvette like we did to really dive into her character, thoughts and feelings especially towards our MC...I usually have a hard time with her character because it always seems like she doesn't really regret what she did as much and seems more like she's approached MC and doing what she's doing mostly, if not solely, because she feels cornered and not as someone that also regrets their decisions and wishes to repair the relationship they DONT have with their child...I know she can feel both those and they can be her motivations, but it just feels like she's driven by the former and not the latter..so I'm looking forward to our interactions with her and if there will be options to let MCs frustrations, sadness, anger and longing bare before her I will...I'd be open to making amends but she has to know and feel everything her absence put MC through and my MC needs to see her genuinely, proactively and consistently care for them before they consider thinking of them as their mother again, nobody can top papa Vic 😂 he set the damn bar too high but if she can put half as much effort hey then we're getting somewhere...

And i have to say, your characters as well are so well written and realistic and raw that I get so engrossed in every little thing they do and I can't help but feel that they're real people with real scars, issues, hopes, dreams, problems and aspirations and relate with them...because I understand Yvettes thought process its like 'I've come too far to look back now' and she feels like she can't let go of everything she built because it would sort of make all her sacrifices meaningless or she may feel she doesn't deserve too and I think she did mention something like that but I wonder if she knows that hurts my MC more 😭😭

Anyway for an ask i wondering what Yvettes fears and or regrets are 'if they're not spoiler' are towards MC and the relationship between the both of them especially because Yvette is asking them to hunt the man that killed her former lover and father of her child 😅...especially if its a vengeful 'I WILL STOP YOU EVEN IF IT KILLS ME' MC...do they fear losing MC like they did Victor or has that not crossed their mind

Sorry it got pretty long but before i vanish I just want to encourage you and say you're awesome and stay blessed!!! its probably not easy making your content and living your life irl but you do it anyways and for that we are more than grateful 🙏

💠💠

Thank you so much for the kind words 🥰🙏 And I’m glad you’re loving the characters and feel like they’re realistic 🥺🥺 Also, don’t worry about sending this long ask, I love reading you guys’ reactions to the story ❤️ And, don’t sell your kidney for the story, the Morozovs don’t deal in organ trafficking 😆

So, about Yvette, yes, MC will have an optional chance to do a little hang out session with Yvette in the future where they’ll be able to have another conversation with her ☺️

Also, I love how readers interpret the talk with Yvette a little bit differently from each other. Some readily accept her apology and see it as sincere regret, while some, like you, are more skeptical and don’t readily forgive her right away.

Right now, I planned to let those that don’t forgive her the first time to change their mind in the future if they want to. It’s not 100% guaranteed as all plans are subjects to change constantly , but I’d really love to include that.

As for your question, I’m actually not really sure what Yvette’s fears are in the context of her relationship with MC other than messing up her second chance if MC decides to forgive her and MC dying 🥺 She doesn’t really fear MC hating her per se, because it is what she has been believing and expected all these years.

And yes, the thought of losing MC has crossed her mind before, and you can actually see that in the Luka and Yvette Funeral Talk Side Story in case you haven’t checked it out. She would be devastated if MC died, she doesn’t want that. When she came to ask for MC’s help, she just expected MC to talk with Luka or Grandpa and basically just be on standby to help with sharing information about the underworld that’s needed and connecting the group to the Morozovs’ resources and connections, instead of MC actively participating and hunting down the killer 😔

[garuda4321]

Alright. So Endless Ocean Luminous has been out for… a day. Or so. Location dependent (midnight releases). Now, I’ve played some of it and I have some thoughts I’ll share here. And I’ll also include some other opinions the Endless Ocean fan base has as they are worth considering.

Yes this means spoilers ahead. And no spoiling for me as I haven’t gotten too too far in the story

So. First and foremost, the game does have a menu! However upon the first opening that is not what happens. It just dumps you into the story mission 1-1 to acquaint you with swimming (left joystick), camera movement (right joystick), and scanning (left bumper). Now, previous installments (EO1/2) we had someone guiding us. Those people being Katherine Sunday (1) and Oceanne Louvier (2, Rouvier if you weren’t NA). In Luminous we have Sera. Sera is an AI and the name is an acronym (off the top of my head I think it’s “Sea Exploration Research Assistant”). Not as witty, not as much personality. We scan a humphead wrasse and “light” jumps off it. We’ll get back to that later (4 missions later).

Before I forget, we are a new and very prospective member of the Aegis Research Team/Group/whatever they are.

1-2 is where we meet Yggdrasil- I mean the World Coral. Vibrant ecosystem of coral and fish in a small canyon cave. Looks like a tree. Apparently it’s dying from necrosis and your organization is trying to help Ygdr- the World Coral not die. We’re asked if we’re ready to help (our choices are “Yeah!” and “Uh… Sure”). We leave the cave and the screen shakes. A lot. This massive (golden) blue coelacanth passes by and we are told to leave because it’s mad for some reason which means it’s too dangerous.

1-3 a quick side note, brief Blue World notice. There was a character named GG (Gaston Grey). GG was a treasure hunter, only in it for the treasure that the Okeanides (mysterious people that were really connected to the sea) left behind. Bit of a scaredy cat (see Cortica River segment). What does this have to do with Luminous though? A lot actually. We meet Daniel, a senior diver with the foundation. He’s a treasure hunter and only in it for the treasure the Oannes (mysterious people that were really connected to the sea) left behind. He challenges you to salvage more/better stuff than him. You smoke him and then you find a “cutting board”. Sorry, a “chess board”. That has squares 11 across 9 deep. Sorry, it’s a “Mystery Board”. Each square represents one mystery of the sea we operate in. Sera says this is preposterous and unlikely. Aegis decides to investigate it more.

1-4 We’re back with Daniel! He’s still a little hurt at our success considering what we found. An actual Oannes artifact (mystery board). Apparently the squares glow when we solve a mystery! Sera says this is preposterous (note that the mystery tablet is glowing as she says this). Nothing else memorable happens.

1-5 We’re back! And someone is joining us! Oh, just Daniel (he swears he was just nearby and passing through the area). We do a bit of swimming and scan a giant sunfish. Gold Blue coelacanth shows up again and things start shaking. Daniel runs swims away like a chicken (yes he admits it himself!) and we decide to scan this gold blue coelacanth. Soon as we scan it all the “light” jumps off of it and it’s revealed to be a golden coelacanth. Apparently it’s a UML (Unidentified Marine Life) that is quickly dubbed something (Raja something…). HQ is on top of naming things at least! That light though. It’s not light per se. It’s a bacteria specific to the sea we work in that covers essentially everything and pacifies them. When we scan them with our scanner, we scare them off and they jump into our pockets. (I’m not kidding…). Also according to HQ this is helping the Ygdr- sorry, World Coral heal so we just need more light! Yay! Easy solution!

Gonna break from story for a bit to mention something. That’s the ENTIRETY of Chapter 1. Now it wasn’t “do chapter 1 now do chapter 2”. It was “do chapter 1-1, 1-2, 1-3, do a solo dive, do 1-4, solo dive, 1-5, dive, 2-1 repeat”. So now I’ll talk about solo dives. (Yes shared dives are a thing but I didn’t activate my free week yet, that’s happening later).

Solo doves. This is essentially the core of Endless Ocean. Diving, discovering locations and creatures and learning about them. Now, Luminous has an interesting way of doing this. In Endless Ocean the map was A-M, 1-8 (really C8-M1) with some sub areas (Ship’s Rest, Moia Atoll, Abyss). Endless Ocean Blue World had zones, some large, some small, some had small sub zones (Gamma Atoll had Deep Hole and the Private Reef, Cicero’s Strait had Valka Castle, Zahhab Region had Abyss and Cavern of the Gods, and such). Luminous now, will randomly generate a 16 digit Dive Site ID that is a 10x10. (0-9, A-J). You can continue diving in the same site until you choose to get a new one. Let’s say this now. 10x10 is huge. 2 hours of swimming (admittedly in circles a bit) and I discovered half a map and half the creatures on the map. So the maps are MASSIVE. And you get a lot of light from scanning everything (every single school gives light PER creature in the school, not just one, and some larger creatures give multiple light).

Next thing, zoom spots. Endless Ocean did this well. Your diving zone of choice had certain fish that lived there (fish that lived in Rock Bluff weren’t necessarily near Coral Forest). And there were tiny fish that lived in zoom spots (not static, they always moved and you had to find them). Some zooms would have one critter (looking at you Moorish Idol), others would have several (slugs, Moorish Idol, Stark’s Demoiselle and other combinations). Endless Ocean 2 had static zooms and they weren’t as hard to find if you dove with Oceanne, but again you’d find the smaller fish (slugs, moorish idol, Stark’s demoiselle, and other combinations). Luminous doesn’t HAVE zoom spots. These tiny creatures are just out there with the large creatures (example being the Whale Shark I saw swimming over the Red Spotted Blenny).

Onto Legendaries. Endless Ocean only had two that were named. Those two being Maga Tapa, a ferocious looking Great White with a ton of scars, and the Ancient Mother (a type of Albino Blue Whale with slightly different DNA meaning it’s a different species). The Ancient Mother was unlocked by finishing the story. Maga Tapa though, was more difficult. You had to find a shark tooth necklace through the salvage system (I’ll get into it more in the next section), unlock 80% of the map (or however much was required to get an email about a ghost ship), find the ghost ship to enter Ship’s Rest at NIGHT to unlock him. Now, you notice I said two that were named. The Beluga Whale and Orca also were difficult to unlock but weren’t named. Beluga required finding another salvage item and going to Moia Atoll and finding it in a room. The Orca required finding 100% of the map (or however much it took to get an email about the Jewels of Life), finding them in Moia Atoll through the salvage system, and then entire ring Ship’s Rest during the DAY.

Legendaries for Blue Workd worked differently. They were quest related usually. (The dog found a small island turns out to be a turtle, large shadow in Cicero’s Strait is a plesiosaur, healing a large penguin, finding a log is actually a formerly extinct crocodile, etc.) but some are just there (black humpback whale is a moon cycle thing, large sperm whale is in Zahhab, off the cliff side). There’s a LOT here, but one main one is Thanatos, a large ferocious Great White with scars and an attitude problem and is the embodiment of evil basically. (Yes he’s Maga Tapa but actually capable of harming the player because BW had an aggression system).

Luminous Legendaries. A lot of these legendaries from Blue World (which does include the Orca and most likely the Ancient Mother) appear to have made it into Luminous! This is fabulous if you never met them originally. I’ve met Apollo (sunfish), Phantom (Ray), and Emperor (coelacanth). You might be wondering about that UML, I’ll get there don’t worry. However, I’ve also found Thanatos. There’s no aggression system so he’s just chilling. They’re rather easy to find this time. They have “yellow light” which is used to indicate a rare/large/small/legendary creature. There’s a lot of rare creatures (example, red bicolor parrotfish). Now, this is nice though I do find it a little concerning that every square seems to have a rare creature. A minor complaint in the grand scheme really.

You’ve seen me talk salvage, so how’s the time to do that. EO’s salvage system was abysmal. You had to either search specific quadrants/squares to find the piece you were looking for (fixed salvage), or open every zoom spot on every surface (walls, floor, ceiling, etc.) for a CHANCE of finding salvage (rotating) and hope it’s not a duplicate. Blue World improved this a bit. Some salvage (coins… just a hundred coins) we’re in zoom spots and they were all fixed. Now, other salvage, had to be found with a tool (sensor) and then appraised so you knew what you had found. Tedious but better as you could guess what you had grabbed (wood, metal, stone, dense, none/all/some of those). Luminous… doesn’t have zoom spots or a sensor. So how does it work? There’s a dot in the top left that might flash yellow. If it’s yellow, treasure is near. Pick it up and it’s added to collections. Nice but duplicates do happen. Now, there are also treasure chests (that contain a variety of things) and tablets. Both contribute to the mystery board. There’s also some large stone circles on the ground that require a creature companion to do a thing but I haven’t figured them out/had the capacity to do it (Apollo requires 150 capacity but I have 70 capacity now at rank 26).

UMLS, our Unidentified Marine Lifeforms! They don’t just appear. You need to find anomalous fish/creatures to lure it out. (Seems to be 7). Your cursor (middle of the screen will pulse red if it’s near and pulse rapidly if you’re on the creature in question). Then the UML is lured out. These UMLS are quite something. They’re like a new legendary with an annoying salvage system (finding the last one can be a pain as the area gets smaller every time)

Personal opinion from my experience so far then? I’m loving it. I think it’s great and while it could do with a LITTLE polishing, it’s still great and what I was expecting from trailers and such.

The community is not all as thrilled as I am. Some say that it’s too fast with discovering creatures (half the encyclopedia in 2ish hours). That we should have a “home base”. That the Aquarium should exist. That Daniel is just discount GG and that Sera is too bland. Others see this as more of a test run to see if people will play a franchise that’s 15 years old and that if another one releases it will be considerably more polished and have more features.

Lengthy post. I am well aware of it but if you’re here, you reached the end! I still think it’s a fabulous game and am going to play it a LOT.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep3: The Chute

I hadn't watched this one since it originally aired. It's not one I disliked, per se, it's just one I didn't enjoy, since it's not any fun to watch your favorite space bros get put through horrors. Looking at it through a more critical lens as an adult, though, I can at least appreciate it more than I could as a 9 year old kid, who was experiencing it more viscerally as something bad happening to characters I liked.

This was a pretty big episode for Harry, since most of the focus was on him for the first time since season 1. Less so for Tom, because he was basically dying from a stab wound for most of it, but their friendship was the main theme of the episode.

I didn't like the cold open starting right in the prison setting, since it felt like playing catch up to figure out the context of what was happening. I'm sure they were going for shock value for the audience, presumably because they thought it would mirror the characters disorientation, but the characters would have had some context for where they were from the events that preceded being sent there. I would have liked to have had a scene on the planet, so we get the sense of surprise and dread as one minute everything is fine, then the next minute they're hauled away. (And it really should have been an actual away mission- are they kidding us that it was shore leave?! Seriously?! The Captain just let the crew beam down to some unknown planet without knowing anything of their society or their laws?? Did everyone simply forget that time on the Enterprise when they did that, and a bunch of half-naked blonde people tried to kill Wesley Crusher for stepping on a plant?? Really?!)

But we just get exposition dialog instead, and find out about the implants in ther heads that make everyone more violent, and we find out that Tom apparently just carries a knife around when he goes on shore leave?? What?? Maybe he's meant to have stolen it from another inmate, idk, but that probably should have been explained, since that's very much not a Starfleet thing. (I mean, sure, he's been in prison before, but Federation prison seems more like a nice vacation than a gritty dog eat dog hellscape like this one lol.)

We finally get a little respite from gritty prison hell with some scenes on the ship with Captain Janeway and crew trying to find Tom and Harry (with bonus concerned B'Elanna- I love that she's become bffs with Harry and Tom now, aww).

Anyway, Tom saves Harry from becoming some other prisoner's bitch, I guess?? It's never actually clear what exactly the other guy wants Harry for, but in the context of actual prisons, one can imagine what they'd want the young pretty boy for, ew. But Tom makes it very clear that Harry is his bitch belongs to him (nope, still sounds pretty gay, lol die mad about it Berman!) and they plot an escape. Harry tries to rewire the chute they came in through, but Tom gets stabbed defending him, and 100s of whump fics on Ao3 were born now Harry is the one who has to take care of Tom.

They make an alliance with the resident crazy manifesto guy so he'll let them share his shelter (though why any of them need a shelter when they're indoors is a bit of mystery- y'all are all under one roof dudes, just pick any corner, you don't need a tent over you, it's not gonna rain inside a room!! The ceiling doesn't have weather patterns!! Lol wtf??) and he tries to convince Harry to give up on Tom and let him die to save himself, which Tom, who loves risking his life to save other people every other episode, does too. But of course, even starving and beaten and with an agression chip in his head, Harry would never do that to his bff. One of the things I feel worked in this episode was seeing Harry get put in this truly awful situation, and never break. For all he's the inexperienced baby marshmallow of the Voyager crew, we see him really grit his teeth and fight through it all with his Starfleet ideals held firm. There's a rather nice shot that follows him walking around the prison, and stays on his face as he goes through all the emotions of anger and frustration and doubt as he struggles to ignore manifesto guy's defeatism and stick to his course of saving himself and Tom. It's a really nice moment where we get to see that sweet little Harry actually has an iron will underneath it all.

And of course, the scene where he takes care of Tom while he's sitting there dying is just heartbreakingly tender. When Tom gets so sick that he stops being self-sacrificing and tells Harry not to leave him, it's hurts, for Harry and for us. Of course it spurs Harry on to take on an entire prison to protect him, but luckily, their mom comes to pick them up in the nick of time- Captain Janeway has been working to track them down, and when diplomacy fails, she opts for a prison break. She jumps right in there with a rifle to get her boys home- and it's honestly glorious. Prudently, she did bring back up, but tbh, you believe this one tiny woman could terrify a horde of violent men singlehandedly. All hail our badass space mom!

In the last scene back home on Voyager, Harry is visibly still shaken, as anyone would be. Tom is chatting away normally, as if he hadn't just been on death's door, because he knew he had Harry to get him through it. Which is very sweet, but honestly it felt a little too shallow, given the circumstances. Tom was mind controlled, starved, stabbed, and almost died, that's some pretty traumatic stuff he should be processing, it shouldn't be cutesy time at that point yet. If they wanted the cute ending, why do this story? Why did they have to go through hell just to say 'hey, I appreciate you being my friend and looking out for me'?? And if they really wanted to do this story- at least have the characters process the trauma, and like, give each other a hug, for crying out loud!

I couldn't get away from the feeling that this whole story was kind of predicated on an underlying toxic masculine sensibility that men can only express love and devotion to another man if one or both of them are dying. It reminded me of that art piece I've seen around, the one that says something to the effect of 'you construct elaborate rituals to touch the skin of other men'. Which also reminds me thematically of another Voyager ep that's coming up later, where Captain Janeway goes through this elaborate ritual and puts herself through trials she didn't really need to because she thinks you're supposed to suffer to gain the prize or knowledge you need. This episode felt like that, on a meta level- while I appreciated highlighting the unshakeable bond between Harry and Tom, why did we have to put them through hell, and mind control, starve, beat and almost kill them, to do it? It's not pleasant to watch, and I never have rewatched in all these years till now, because whatever good there was here- and there was some good- it didn't feel justified, in a way. I knew Tom and Harry loved each other and would do anything for each other already, without having to torture them to get them to show it. And I have to believe that by the 24th century, we'll have a better society, where men can tell other men how much they love them without having to suffer to justify it.

[trollbreak]

FOURTH time is the charm lol

[“An ex-goddess, hm? Is that why you’re wasting your time drinking cheap vodka in a locker room, when you know it’s not going to do much? Or are you hoping for the blood loss to carry your weight, here?”

The woman bares her flat teeth at them, and Pyrric tilts their head. It’s hard to find someone intimidating when she lies in pieces before you. Harder still when you know that neither of you can do too much damage to the other in any reasonable amount of time.

“Is it the reason you’re getting yourself killed weekly, because the crowds pay better at the end of the week? Or maybe it’s the reason you’re baring your teeth like they could actually do anything that matters. Please, talk down to me some more while you’re still halved. I’d like to see how much you can try to puff up like this.”

The woman rolls her eyes and grabs her pants by the belt loops to pull her torso closer together, and the flow of blood only slows a little. Pyrric is almost certain those pants are going to be ruined. A shame- that orange would make for a lovely dress color, if Dari would consider dying her own clothes. But she’s made it clear enough that she’s not looking to make friends. Another shame.

“…Are you the yellow who’s fuckin’ the freak? Keeps killing you for the shits and giggles? ‘Cause gee, what a high fuckin’ horse you’re on, bleeding for some rich someone or other… gods. Leave it to the bug people to make the weird ones.”

Pyrric leans down, turning her head to be eye to eye with Dari.

“Is that my reputation now? I’d have hoped it was something kinder… but if that is the case, I’ll not have you ruin Daemia’s for it. She’s divine, in a way you’re never going to know. Not anymore. You did say you used to be a god, yes? Who do you pray to, when you die? At least the things that made me were kind enough to take my scars, to dull my p-“

They have more to say, but Dari spits at them, and they’re sputtering, staggering to catch their balance. Whatever landed in their eye doesn’t burn, per se, but they don’t want to leave it there. They might have to ask Daemia to help them with that, at the end of the night.

They’re already going to need some time with her to feel at home in their own form again… they hate when someone gets under their skin like this. Anger doesn’t suit them.

“Fuck off. You said you wanted to make friends, yeah? A fat fuckin’ success that was- do me a favor and get the fuck out. Bet I can get Junie to get you banned, if you wanna push your fuckin’ luck.”

Pyrric doesn’t know why they had expected anything less abrasive… Dari has a reputation of trying to get on people’s nerves. But at least this wasn’t a wasted trip, they have some information that a few friends will be more than happy to have, in case the empire ever reaches her home.

They stand back up with a deep breath, smoothing out their skirt and adjusting their hair around their shoulders.

“Fine. Have fun stewing in your misery, Dari… and if you want to try to find a way to cope better, I’m sure Junie can get us back in touch.”

Another breath, and they put their smile back on. It’s so much easier to be cute than to be angry… they’d like to lean into it until it feels right again.

“And have a lovely rest of your night!”]

[petrifiedcrange]

❝ Don’t worry, Eddie. It's gonna be alright, ❞ Izzy's voice is soft, in a way he's never sounded before, in a way he's only recently learned to be, thanks to the crew that so generously accepted him into their midst and showed him what it was like to have a family — big, messy, loyal, wonderful family — for the first time in a very long while, and fond in a way he didn't sound since they were much younger, since before Edward got tired of his role as a captain and a sea legend and Izzy had to take on more and more responsibility, more than he could handle, and they stopped understanding each other and everything became messy.

He smiles at his captain... no, just Edward, Ed, almost serene if it wasn't for the pain that tightened the corners of his mouth, resigned.

He doesn't want to die, per se. Wouldn't mind staying for a little longer aboard this peculiar ship with the crew that aren't anything like pirates Izzy spent most of his life around but are pirates, sailors, people that he can finally understand and relate with and living a little for himself, for the first time in decades, not for the Crown, not for Blackbeard or even Edward, but for himself and his crew, his family. Maybe, they would have other parties. Maybe, every once in a while he could sing again and have a look... That would be nice.

But nice things aren't for pirates like him, who have too much blood on their hands and too many mistakes in their past.

Izzy made peace with it. Just like he made peace with his inevitable end.

And even now, he isn't really thinking about himself... because maybe, just maybe, if he made peace with his death, if he showed that he was willing and ready to go, then Edward wouldn't be so sad about it.

❝ You don’t need me anymore, ❞ he says, and he should be sad about it, and he is, a little, but mostly he's relieved and proud and happy for Edward — because he found the family amongst which he doesn't need him to survive, doesn't need Blackbeard, with whom he can be just Ed, ❝ The crew will take care of you. They'll keep you safe. ❞

At least, Izzy hopes they will, if not because of their own feelings towards Edward — Izzy is not delusional enough to think that they feel anything other than tolerance for him, not after everything Edward Kraken did to them, they'll need time to warm up to him again, and even then, they might never love him the same way they did before — then out of whatever they felt towards Izzy and respect and love they feel towards their captain.

Speaking of which...

❝ Bonnet will, too. Just don’t push him away, ❞ and suddenly frantic energy seems to take hold of his weary frame, and Izzy shifts, hissing in pain but not letting it stop him, leans forward, closer to Edward, reaches for his hand and holds on tight, eyes feverishly bright and tone desperate and gentle and firm as he implores, ❝ Promise me, Eddie, that no matter what happens, no matter how scary it gets and how much you want to run away, you will stay and you will talk things through with Stede instead of running away to become a fisherman or some other nonsense like that. ❞

And maybe it's not fair of him to ask, because he is on his deathbed and if it is his dying wish, Edward will have no choice but to honor it, but if he has to leave, he needs to make sure Edward will be taken care of, will have someone who will make sure he is safe and sound and happy like Izzy tried to do for the last couple of decades ( and Stede is the perfect man for the job, he knows that now ), but he learned the hard way that it's nearly impossible to do if Edward himself doesn't cooperate.

You can't catch a fish unless the fish wants to be caught.

[ OPEN for Ed, either an alternate take on his conversation with Ed in what he thinks are his dying moments or a starter from Izzy on his sickbed a few days post-S2, he is going to be just fine, don't let the starter fool you, but they don’t know yet for sure if he'll make it or not and he thinks he is going to die, so he is being a little dramatic about it ]

[bonesandthebees]

Chapter 22:

Wilbur blaming himself for cursing Tommy because he’s the one whose cursed and feeling guilty about it vs. Tommy blaming himself for getting curse because he told Wilbur to take of his blindfold and feeling guilty about Wilbur blaming himself and feeling like shit. (Probably also about stressing Phil and Techno out).

The resurface of Wilbur’s ‘death wise’. It’s not that he wants to die per se, it’s more that religious guilt and what he thinks he deserves + jumping to the worst conclusions any time he can. But we are in his head, everyone around him is not and therefore worried(TM).

Phil and Techno clearly being upset, but trying their hardest to not let it show because they know Wilbur and Tommy probably tried everything in their power to avoid this, so it’s not their fault and being angry at them won’t help. Also, Wilbur will (and did) that their frustrations as anger at him. (I just love their ‘parenting’ style, they are so chill whereas in other stories characters like these would get a very for plot, they are just here to be (mostly) reasonable.)

The codependency kicking in strong. Sleeping in the same room. Constantly being together and when they aren’t there’s always someone else with them, most often Phil and Techno. When one of them needs a 1 on 1 talk the other will always stay or escort the remaining member of the codependency gang. (Which is how we get Wilbur not noticing Techno is still with him at the end.)

Speaking of the end: Tommy is still the only person who knows that Wilbur used to be a street kid, so his little rant might tip Techno of to that. At which point Techno could suddenly understand why they get along so well. (At least I’m pretty sure Wilbur says that nobody cared about him on the street, I’m not going back to check).

Also, Tommy being very scared of dying even though he doesn’t really (fully) believe in the curse vs. Tommy not wanting anyone (especially Wilbur) to be worried about him (or get made at Wilbur). So he hides that he’s cursed and he’s so damn good in pretending he doesn’t feel like shit. But then the second he’s just with people who know he’s cursed, you can sort of see him unravel, because he’s still scared.

Also, Phil telling Wilbur that he’s going to need to decide if he still wants to be Pythia and soon is food for my ‘they are working together with Eret to take over and possibly using Wilbur as a gambling chip’ theory. There’s more to fuel that theory in chapter 23, so I’ll get to it.

And lastly, Phil pointing that Wilbur couldn’t have changed the vision is fuel of the ‘the Pythia can see the future, but never change it and maybe even help cause it’ theory. There’s also a bit with Tommy but I can’t remember which chapter that’s in, so I’ll put it in the next one.

-🌲

the totally not brothers are in a competition to out self-guilt each other

yeah I thought it was really interesting to show wilbur returning to that mindset even if it was just a brief moment. just showing that even though he's improved a lot, he's still got a lot of issues and some troubling mindsets that are ingrained into him which led to some very unhealthy thought patterns. he never wanted to die, but he's been made to feel like his life isn't worth much at all so if he's not serving his purpose and/or he's done something wrong, dying might be the best option

I think it helps that phil and techno are also literally worshippers of death. like of course they're worried and upset and don't want tommy to die, but they have a different view of death than most people do, which also lends itself to their more chill reaction. and like you said, they know wilbur and tommy definitely did everything they could to avoid this.

oh yeah the codependency is only gonna be kicked up higher with this whole situation. the brothers are attached at the hip and phil and techno can tell.

tommy IS scared yes!! despite worshipping death he's also an 18 year old who doesn't want to die yet. sure death isn't as scary for him as it is for most people, but he's not ready to go. tommy's actually got a really interesting internal struggle going on right now with his own religious beliefs conflicting with his fears of dying that I don't have much opportunity to show. but yeah he's got a lot of internal conflict going on with his belief in kristin right now

hmm theories theories theories :)

[andiwriteordie]

did someone ask u abt lucas and bloodbending and max yet bc i am dying to know your thoughts

my ask box is a mess right now and i will return to firebending mike and some airbending will after work (ok. that's a lie bc i have dinner plans tonight) but before work... let me talk about lucas saving max :)

so so so, we've talked a little bit about lucas's relationship to his waterbending. he's definitely not bad at it, per se, but lucas has always been a headstrong person and most definitely more of a fighter than he is a healer by nature. when he's growing up though, for some damn reason, combat fighting doesn't come as easily to him as healing does. he has to work 10x harder to learn combat waterbending, but healing? easy. (side note and not where i was going, but lucas ends up being the one who heals all the cuts and bruises and burns and stuff from when his friends get pushed around by bullies at school—creating an interesting relationship between lucas and his healing. sure, it's useful, especially when they don't want their parents finding out, but what good is his bending if it can only help in the aftermath? he's not strong enough to defend himself or any of his friends. all he can do is patch up their wounds. and that SUCKS.)

by the time book 3 rolls around, we're sitting in the aftermath of now two attempts on will's life by this airbender guy who has a connection with spirits, as well as now two years in a row where the spirits have come and attacked hawkins, leaving people lucas and the others know (like bob and billy) dead. and lucas decides enough is enough. he has to learn how to waterbend better. he's gotta be a fighter, not a healer. so he pushes himself and pushes himself and pushes himself. he's training every day and exhausting himself, but he makes progress.

and during those months in between is when he meets jason, a fellow waterbender who is excellent at combat bending. maybe jason's a probender too, so he sees lucas at the gym and sees his potential and starts to help him learn more. they become good friends, and lucas joins jason's probending team as an alternate. he feels like he's finally beginning to do what he should've been doing all along with his waterbending.

it's right near the beginning of book 3 (probably as jason is going a bit crazy with chrissy's death) that jason presents him with an opportunity. the full moon's coming up, and jason believes in lucas. he thinks he's great at probending, great at combat waterbending, and just great overall. so... does lucas want to learn how to bloodbend? they're going to need it if they're going to hunt own the person who did this to chrissy.

and initially, lucas completely rejects this. he hates the idea of bloodbending—of taking another person's control away from them. he hates it. he refuses to do it, and he and jason have a fight that leads lucas to leave and find the others.

when the time comes, then, and max begins getting targeted by this mysterious airbender with the deep connection to the spirits—that same one who nearly killed will—lucas feels ready. he and max aren't dating anymore, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love her and that doesn't mean he won't do anything to protect her. some way or another (that isn't fully planned in my brain because ah i haven't entirely thought out book 3 on the hawkins side), the group splits up to go fight this airbender and lucas stays with max.

and lucas is there when it starts happening.

will has never described what happened to him before, and they only know what this airbender's techniques are because eddie witnessed chrissy's death. but nothing could prepare lucas for this, and he's trying his damnedest to fight off the spirits keeping him from max, and jason is there too, and sure things are strained right now because they really don't see eye to eye right now, but they have a common enemy. they have to stop the spirits, and they have to stop this airbender.

but the airbender succeeds. lucas can hardly grasp what he's doing, but max is choking, and she can't breathe, and lucas can't get to her. everyone in the hawkins team is overwhelmed by the spirit attack, and it hits lucas that he's going to lose max.

then suddenly, the airbender crumples to the ground. and max does too.

lucas has no idea how. but that airbender isn't his concern right now. somehow, he manages to get to max, and he pulls her to safety, and he realizes she's not breathing. she's not breathing, and she's unconscious, and lucas panics, looking around for any of the airbenders that they're friends with—but will and el are missing, jonathan went to look for them, and robin is nowhere to be found, probably off fighting spirits closer to portal.

and all of lucas's healing training comes back to him. he starts trying to resuscitate max and getting her to breathe at first, but it's not working. and lucas isn't an airbender, and he's switching back and forth between doing compressions and giving her mouth to mouth and just desperately trying to use his waterbending to heal her...

and none of it works. she still won't come back.

it's then that lucas catches a glimpse of jason still fighting, and their chilling conversation from a couple nights before comes to his mind. lucas feels the full moon shining down on him and on max, and he knows what he can do. he knows what he has to do.

he just has to buy max some more time.

so, lucas, acting on instinct and on his healing knowledge, essentially uses his bloodbending to keep max's heart pumping. if he can get her heart to start again and keep it beating, he can buy her a little bit more time. so he does that, and it's the worst feeling in the world because this feels so wrong to reach into someone else's body and force it to do something. but it's also a powerful feeling. the moon shines down on them, imbuing lucas with its spiritual power and energy, and spirits help him, with max's near lifeless body in his arms, how is it that he has never felt more alive as a waterbender? isn't that awful? he didn't want this. he just wants to save max.

as the spirits begin to retreat, lucas yells at jason to find an airbender and to get help because max isn't breathing, and jason looks up and sees what lucas is doing. there's a shared understanding there. lucas did what he had to do for the girl he loves. and jason respects him a lot more for that, something which lucas hates in the aftermath.

in the end, lucas does buy max enough time. robin comes back, and she helps max to breathe, and together, the two of them get max stabilized. once she's stable enough, lucas immediately jumps in with his waterbending and tries to heal her, lest there be any longterm damage, and while the others go search for someone to help get max to a doctor, erica sits beside her older brother. they'd been separated in the battle, but she's here now. and she's never really cared much for healing, but watching lucas restore the damage that's happened to max and do everything he can to protect her from the long-term damage of this near-death experience? it gives erica a newfound respect of her older brother.

anyways. more on ethics and lucas and bloodbending and how he reclaims all this when i answer another ask on this!