#sure ill let this one be rebloggable

[sunlightfeeling]

…….

…i really like “A Whiter Shade of Pale”

[skenpiel]

no <3

things i would love to get this week:

sweet bread

fresh apples

drinky drinks

some sort of fruit juice

and thats it i think!

[henrysglock]

Dude the fact that you're hating on the byler side of the fandom for speculating on what they're filming in the church is crazy, when you youself have posted such outlandish theories like 'Hopper killed a cat as a teenager' bffr

Dude the fact that you're hating on me on anon is crazy, when I myself post my hate openly and with my name attached.

🚨 Coward Alert! 🚨

Also: Those posts were non-rebloggable. That means you either follow me, or you stalk my blog. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing for you!

Anyway, to actually address what you said:

I didn't say Hopper killed the cat, I said "which of these two (Henry or Hopper) seems more like someone who would be violent towards animals of their own volition" WORKING WITHIN IN THE FRAMEWORK ESTABLISHED BY HOPPER'S TREATMENT OF EL. The line from the Hopper TFS audition tape indicated that he a) hates cats, b) wants to beat the shit out of one, and c) wants to shake the hand of the guy who killed the (at the time) unnamed cat. Which one seems more likely to harm things smaller than him: A guy with that ^^ line, or a kid who looks disturbed and vaguely ill while interacting with a rabbit that broke its leg in a snare? And I wasn't even entirely wrong. I was wrong about Hopper, which I admitted freely, but I was never wrong about Henry. It was a line that existed in a video that was immediately redacted when the other tapes weren't, indicating that it was too close to spoiler territory…and it DID appear in the play! The content of the other videos did not! Funny how that works.

As indicated above, I do my best to make sure my theories always have some kind of factual basis. The byIer theory you're referring to is based in what people want to see happen, not what's actually been presented to them...and that's ALWAYS going to end in disappointment (<- something I have said many times, something that shapes how I do analysis). There was no indication that the church was going to be about byIer, and I said multiple times that the quote on the sign is more about the Creels/Henry's thing with the Mindflayer...Especially since Mike and Will don't have a lick of religious trauma between them, unlike Henry who has a whole ass arc in a church 💀. Lo and behold: red mindscape lights at the church. Vecna. No Finn, iffy on Noah. Who would have thought...who could have guessed...who could have foreseen...........

I don't have the attitude. When I saw TFS and realized the line had been taken out of context, I immediately posted and said "Huh, I was wrong about Hopper. That's a lesson about assumptions." I didn't overdose on copium about it and post "uuuhuhuh it can still happen Hopper can still have been a violent teen". No. I acknowledged that I was wrong in December, and I have since altered my theories accordingly. I let it go. I've also said over and over that all of my theories have a maximum confidence rating of 50/50. Most of them rank in at about 10-15% confidence. It's the academic writer in me that says "post your hypothesis with confidence, and if you're wrong, then retract and try again". I've never been that cocky and self-assured...because it's embarrassing to have acted that way only to be wrong (especially!! when it's something easily disproven, like "the church is all about byler"). If other people, like you, want to ignore my self-awareness and try to make me out as a hypocrite, that's no longer a me problem. That's a you problem. Lol. Lmao, even.

[iwannawritelots]

Sleepless Night

Originally written August 2022

Masterlist

Genre: mental illness hurt/comfort

Characters Active: Mammon, Cinna

Timeline: 151022-A

Trigger/content warnings: mental illness depictions, allusion to suicidal ideation if you squint.

Headcanons/notes from the author: this takes place during season 1 when Cinna only has a pact with Mammon so far. I wrote this when I was being kept awake by looping thoughts shskdhdkd it’s all good now though. Also all my (MC) Cinna angst or hurt are being switched to not rebloggable for now, especially since I tend to forget I don’t necessarily want these ones promoted very much and add the reblog divider habitually then have to remove it sigh…

Brief Blurb: Cinna visits Mammon at night when they can’t sleep because of bad thoughts.

It was quite late, and Mammon had been curled up in bed trying to sleep for hours. Something felt wrong, but he had no idea what it was. Sighing, he sat up again and habitually ram his fingers through his hair, forgetting they were curly again after his shower earlier. He tugged on a few curls and grunted with annoyance before rolling his eyes, then wrapping a few strands around his finger. He uncurled and recurled the strands around his finger as he pondered what could possibly be off.

Nothing should be disturbing him. He shouldn’t be so on edge. Maybe he should check around the house? Lucifer always does that, though, so surely he would have taken care of anything gone awry? Slowly, Mammon got up out of bed and put on some boxers before sitting on his couch. He glanced out the window, knowing it would be pitch black. After a moment of consideration, he picked up a magazine and flipped through it. Tiredness stung at his eyes, but he was restless.

Suddenly, the door creaked open and he instantly gazed at it. To his surprise, the human exchange student had peeked inside, hair covering their face and hoodie over their head. “Oi, Cinna… what’re ya doin’ up? Dontcha know Lucifer will get irritated if you’re outta bed right now?”

“S-Sorry…”

Mammon instantly set the magazine down and hurried to the human, grabbing their hand, not letting them leave. He had never heard them so upset before. “Cinna? H-Hey, uh…”

“N-No, I’ll go back to my room…” their voice was creaking with every syllable. “Sorry…”

“Woah, no, I’m sorry…” Mammon’s voice dropped to a mumble towards the end, feeling weird saying the words. Carefully, he pulled them inside and lead them to his bed, sitting them down. “One sec. Stay there.” He quickly threw on some lounge pants and a sweatshirt, then sat on the edge of the bed with them. “Okay… are ya…” He drifted off, knowing they were definitely not alright if they were apologizing as much as they had already. “What’s wrong?”

Cinna sniffled and shrugged. “Didn’t wanna be alone…”

“Okay…” Mammon took a deep breath, resisting the urge to interrogate them. “Is it… uh…” He but his lip and sighed. “Do you wanna tell me why?”

They shook their head, then wiped their face, but the tears kept falling. “J-Just… couldn’t…”

“Okay…” Mammon cautiously wrapped his arms around them, waiting for them to pull away if they wanted. When they didn’t, he squished them close to himself and pet their hair, careful not to pull on any curls or tangles. “Can’t go to Asmo?”

They let out a weak sob. “I-I can’t stand him right now…”

“Why not…?” he inquired quietly. “I thought ya liked Asmo.”

“I-I do… I just…” Cinna took a deep, shaking breath, then mumbled, “I think he hates me…”

Mammon rubbed their back and gave them a small squeeze. “Asmo ain’t really one to hate people; ‘specially couldn’t hate you.” He carefully pulled them into his lap and kissed their hair. “You’re overthinkin’.”

“I-I know…” they mumbled, beginning to cry. “M-My head won’t shut up… I’m sorry… I should have just w-waited it out…”

“No, don’t be sorry…”

“B-But I’m bothering you…” Cinna mumbled. “I’m bothering all of you. I sh-should just… go away…”

Mammon furrowed his eyebrows, but opted to not follow their train of thought and instead direct it elsewhere. “That ain’t true. Whatever your head is sayin’ is full of shit.” He watched them curl into his chest, and his heart twisted. They trusted him, but was he even helping? “It’s just your head doin’ the thing it does. It ain’t real. Nothin’ your head says is real sometimes, y’know?” He wasn’t sure what he was saying anymore, but it seemed to be soothing Cinna. “It’s just an episode. It’ll pass. You’ll feel silly later for even worryin’ about it.”

After a bit of consideration, Cinna nodded a bit. “You’re right…”

“‘Course I’m right.” Mammon squished them and petted their hair. “I’m your guardian.”

Cinna snorted, then weakly giggled. “That doesn’t automatically make you right.”

Face a bit hot from embarrassment, Mammon mumbled, “W-W’ll… no…” He scoffed and nuzzled them. “I try my best though.”

“I-I know…” Cinna sniffled. “I-I’m still sorry, though…”

“If ya have to be, then go ahead. I ain’t gonna stop you.” Mammon chuckled and wiped their face. “Everything’s pretty difficult for you, bein’ a human ‘n’ all. So, y’know… even if I ain’t stoppin’ ya, being sorry does nothin’. Not for this.”

[kennedy-brooke]

THANK YOU for the tag lovelie @acourtofquestions

omg okay wait i need to think about this -

1. my fav sjm book is absolutely queen of shadows, it has everything + my fav scene in any book and therefore i adore it with my whole heart 110%

2. after reading the entire universe (its my biggest flex and accomplishment) i definitely have to say TOG because lets be real, how can you beat that masterpiece

3. aelin is my fav character by far, but i feel like its too easy to say that so my close second is nesta and i take no criticism

4. this one is so hard for me - i feel like its either "they joined hands. so the world ended. and the next one began." from QoS or "Never again. Never again would she be weak. Never again would she be at someone’s mercy. Never again would she fail. Never again, never again, never again." from ACoSF both for very different but very significant reasons

5. i love rowaelin and elorcan, but i also have a very special place in my heart for ruhnlidia

6. i personally ship gwynriel, but im not sjm so i will be pleased with whatever outcome so long as both azriel and lucien are happy

7. i firmly believe that both lucien and fenrys deserve SO much more hype (ik lucien has his own group of stans - hello my people - but there is always room for more)

8. ERIS. PLEASE SARAH IM BEGGING YOU. also fenrys because i need more on him pretty please

9. okay HOT take - but i don't particularly like morrigan. there is SOMETHING this girl is hiding and the whole leading on azriel thing and feeling territorial over cassian really just didnt sit right for me

10. i fear i am an azriel girl at heart (i know im living on crumbs and fanfiction like the rest of us), cassian being a close second

11. i really love the dawn court based on the descriptions (and obv the night court but that feels like cheating). realistically id probably live in autumn but it sure as hell wont be under berons rule

12. okay i hate all of them, but the passion with which i hate maeve probably makes her both the worst and best. saying favorite feels so wrong bc i DESPISE her, but shes a really well written one.

13. okay well THRONE OF GLASS SPOILERS FOR ENDING OF KOA DO NOT READ THIS ANSWER IF YOU ARENT DONE but 100% the fact that aelin loses her powers. its like my one critique on throne of glass tbh

14. i love the theory that rhys's sister isnt dead and that tamlin actually saved her and thats why theres a starlight pool in the spring court (the theory is much more detailed but thats the jist) and that TOG SPOILER kaltain is the suriel

15. NESTA. NESTA MOTHERFUCKING ARCHERON MY LITERAL QUEEN I LOVE YOU FOREVER

16. is it cliche to say eris? im an eris apologist until given undisputed proof otherwise (and tbh ill probably still adore him) also CHAOL. BECAUSE WHAT DID HE ACTUALLY DO? NOTHING HE REACTED COMPLETELY NORMALLY AND I STILL LIKE HIM SO MUCH. did we not all read tower of dawn? he is lovely. OKAY? OKAY.

17. aelin galanthynius 4 life

18. throne of glass is aelin, a court of thorns and roses is nesta (both obvious by now), and crescent city is either lidia or ruhn

19. its sad that ive thought of this already butttt A Court of Song and Shadow

20. that is a cruel question that i genuinely cannot answer because there are SO many that i read on the daily

21. also a horribly cruel question to ask and i genuinely have no clue where to even begin recommending because again, there are far FAR too many. honestly hust scroll through my page bc i am an avid reblogger, and while i may have a million diff fandoms going on, there are a TON of acotar ones in there

i unfortunately dont write (publicly) for actoar so thats where my questions end

tagging with no pressure at all (sorry if youve already been tagged): @brekkershadowsinger @prythianpages @parkerslatte @assassinsblade @acourtofwhatthefuck @daydreaming-nerd @daycourtofficial

SJM ask game

1) What’s your favourite SJM book?

2) Which is your favourite series (tog, acotar or cc)

3) Who is your favourite character? (And why?)

4) Do you have a favourite quote from one of the books?

5) Favourite ship?

6) Elriel or Gwynriel? Or neither?

7) Who’s the most underrated SJM character?

8) Which character do you wish to learn more about?

9) Are there any characters you don’t like?

10) Favourite bat boy?

11) Favourite court?/ Which one would you most like to live in?

12) Favourite SJM villain?

13) If you could change one thing in any of the books what would it be?

14) Favourite SJM theory?

15) Favourite Archeron sister?

16) A character you feel is over-hated/ underrated

17) Aelin, Bryce, or Feyre?

18) What’s your favourite character from each series?

19) If you wrote an acotar book what would you call it?

20) Who is your favourite acotar blogger?

21)What fics would you recommend to people who love the series?

Questions for writers

22) Easiest character to write for?

23) Hardest character to write for?

24) What’s a character you’d like to write for but haven’t yet?

25) What’s a court you’d like to write about more?

26) What’s a character you won’t write for and why?

27) If you could only write for one character ever again, who would you pick?

28) Whats your favourite trope to write about when it comes to Azriel?

29) What do you think is the best/favourite acotar fic you’ve written?

30) Who are your favourite friendships to write about?

31) For first time readers to your blog, which three fics would you recommend they read?

[anthi-tsak]

Yo @buggachat , so I literally just asked my mom’s opinion on marinette’s house so this is my and hers theory bc at this point I have been overthinking this and might end up crazy so let’s start bc I can’t anymore-

SO AS WE KNOW MARINETTE HAS 4 FLOORS IN HER APARTMENT

Pls excuse my writing-

ANYWAYS

AND HERE ARE BASICALLY THE STAIRS

I hope you understand this umm

SO FIRST FLOOR IS TOM’S AND SABINE’S BAKERY

AS YOU CAN SEE THERES A DOOR ON THE BACKGROUND THAT LEADS TO THE STAIRS

NOW FOR THE 2ND FLOOR DO YOU ALL REMEMBER THE TROUBLEMAKER EPISODE??? MARINETTE LITERALLY SAYS WHERE THE BATHROOM IS I MEAN I HOPE IM NOT WRONG BUT I BELIEVE THE BATHROOM IS ON THE 2ND FLOOR NOW LOOK AT THIS!👇

AHHH YES SO BASICALLY THIS IS IT? I DONT KNOW, I MEAN THEY HAVE TO SHOW US TO BE EXACTLY SURE BUT WHAT ELSE COULD “UPSTAIRS” MEAN? 2ND FLOOR??? TECHNICALLY YES

OOOKAY MOVE ON

On the 3rd floor we have The Dupain’s-Cheng’s living room and kitchen

So I have heard people say that the thing next to the stairs and the Chinese poster is a door? Mhm I definitely agree. In China there are doors that are exactly like this so it could really be a bathroom there too or maybe only a toilet, I mean the wall seems like it has some space for a small room. But again I’m not sure bc we’ve never seen open ofc. Also @buggachat I think you said there might be stairs going down? I mean marinette’s apartment is a small building so it is kinda unlikely but at this point idk we’re talking about f Miraculous sooo....

OK NEXT WE HAVE MARINETTE’S ROOM

Ok nothing to really say here only that her room is f perfect? Like ma’am can I have your room? And your balcony? It is so beautiful help- Ok and also still haven’t figured why she has a sink? I mean it’s nice but kinda extra?

Basically that’s it about the rooms, now about the stairs.....

Ignore Mari for you sake-

OK NOW ABOUT THE DOORBELLS

Well that’s my mom’s and mines opinion and basically:

It’s very normal for people to have doorbells in an apartment that is more that one floor.

Well for me it’s very normal and common seeing so many doorbells in a house bc I live in Europe too. In Europe a house that has more than one floor is called a maisonette. My grandparents have a house with 3 floors with an inside staircase and every floor has a doorbell so don’t overthink it guys, it’s just a House in Europe style. Ngl I too find it a little weird but this is how it is.

Also another thing is that the light switch looks soooo old just look at it!

Definitely not a modern style which means that this house is very old. My theory is that before Marinette and her parents lived here, I believe that Tom’s parents lived here also! They just renovated the house that’s why it doesn’t look old. And the thing that they live in front of a monument? The Notre-Dame? It just proves it more bc to find a house in Paris that is next to a monument and live there, it costs a HUUUGE amount of money. So that means that the Dupain-Cheng’s live A LOT of years there to have this house.

SO YEAH BASICALLY THIS IS IT? I HOPE I COVERED UP EVERYTHING, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS GUYS JUST SEND THEM. THIS TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO SO IF YOU WANT REBLOGG SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE MY POST AND UNDERSTAND MARINETTE’S HOUSE BETTER? I WOULD GLADLY APPRECIATE IT. IF YOU STILL READING THIS THANK YOU SM. OK ILL STOP NOW I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[gaalee-events]

What is GaaLee Hallo-week? How does it work?

GaaLee Hallo-week is basically a Halloween-themed ship week for the pairing Gaara/Rock Lee. Each day from Oct. 24 - 30th, there will be different prompts to fill. There are (at least!) two prompts per day: a spooky prompt and a sweet prompt, riffing off the idea of trick-or-treat. There is no sign-up and no obligation. Creations for this event can be fanfic, fanart, playlists, icon sets, panel edits, moodboards, memes, closet cosplay, or any other fannish pursuit you can think of! As long as it features the GaaLee pairing and fits a prompt, it counts!

Sounds great! How do I participate?

There’s no sign-up for this event, and it’s open to everyone. On the appropriate day, simply post your creation on Tumblr, indicate which prompt you’re filling, and tag the @gaalee-events blog! You can also use the hashtag #gaaleehalloweek, but be sure to tag the blog as well to ensure your creation doesn’t get lost. The GaaLee events Tumblr will then reblog your work for all to see! If you don’t have a Tumblr or would prefer to participate only on Ao3, that’s also fine. When you’re uploading your work, you can add it to the GaaLee Hallo-week Collection by typing ‘GaaLee_HalloWeek’ (without quotes) into the ‘Collections’ box. For people who choose to participate just on Ao3, the organizers will create a link post on Tumblr with a link to your fic. If it’s been 24 hours since you posted and you haven’t seen your contribution reblogged, please send an ask to @ghoste-catte, as it may have gotten lost in notifications.

So, what are these prompts you’re talking about?

Each day has a scary prompt and a sweet prompt associated with it! For a handy rebloggable visual guide, check out the prompts page!

Day 1, Oct. 24 - Haunted House -or- Hallowed Ground

Day 2, Oct. 25 - Demons -or- Deities

Day 3, Oct. 26 - Nightmares -or- Sweet Dreams

Day 4, Oct 27 - Fear -or- Wonder

Day 5, Oct 28 - Movie Night! (The Amityville Horror -or- The Addams Family)

Day 6, Oct 29 - Scary Stories (“I do not love men. I love what devours them.” - Prometheus Illbound, Andre Gill -or- “People don’t want to see what can’t possibly exist.” - Mort, Terry Pratchett)

Day 7, Oct 30 - Trick-or-Treat (free day!)

How do the Movie Night / Scary Stories / Free Day prompts work?

In the second half of the week, let your imagination run wild! You can be inspired by the suggested movies, images, or quotes, or you can create something for the overall theme of “Movie Night” or “Scary Stories”. For the final day of the event, you can create whatever your heart desires, as long as it’s scary or sweet, and GaaLee-themed! As with the previous days, you can also use “Trick-or-Treat” as your prompt and create something based on that.

What are the minimum requirements for a prompt fill?

This is left open to the individual participant’s discretion. If you feel that what you created meets the prompt, then it counts! A single creation can only count for one day, but it may be inspired by one or both prompts on that day. (For example, you could create something for October 25th to fit the prompt “Demons”, or “Demons and Deities”, but not “Demons” and “Nightmares”.) You can create multiple creations for a single prompt or a single day. If you make something that has multiple components, like a multichapter fic or a multipage comic, each chapter/comic page/etc. can be counted towards a different day/prompt, as long as they’re posted on the correct day and fit one of the prompts for that day.

Do I have to participate in all seven days? Do I have to fill every prompt?

Not at all! You can fill just one prompt on just one day, you can fill multiple prompts across multiple days, or you can fill all the prompts on all seven days. Think of this event like that bowl of candy on your neighbor’s porch that’s labeled ‘Take One’ -- you can do whatever you like with it; nobody’s going to stop you. That being said, if you do create something for all seven days, you’ll be in the Monster’s Ball, which sounds very cool but really just means that your creations will be listed at the top of the event wrap-up summary in a fancy text box.

Does everything I make have to be Halloween-themed?

Nope! While we’ll all be getting in the mood for Halloween, ghosts, ghouls, and pumpkins don’t need to feature in your creation. As long as you feel like your creation fits one of the prompts, it counts. That being said, we’d love to see the fandom flex their horror muscles and go full Spooky Season on us. Bring on the blood and guts!

I have something I’m already working on that fits one of the prompts, can I use it for this event?

Yes, with a couple of caveats! The creation must be new and posted on the date of the prompt that it was created for. If you already have a partially published project and something new you’ve created for it fits one of the prompts, that can absolutely count. For example, if you’re writing a 20-page comic about a haunted house, and you post a new page on Oct. 24th, you can count that for the prompt “Haunted House”. If you say you created something with this event in mind, we’ll take your word for it. The only other restriction is that if you’re creating your project for a different event (such as an exchange, ship week, theme week, big bang, etc.) and it also happens to meet one of the GaaLee Hallo-week prompts, you should check the other event’s rules to ensure they don’t have any restrictions on counting a single work towards multiple events.

Are there restrictions about what kinds of content can be created for this event?

Because of the Halloween theme, it’s to be expected that some works might be transgressive, upsetting, or triggering. However, we want this event to be enjoyable for as many people as possible! We ask that you use caution and consideration in your creations and be mindful of the ways that traditionally ‘scary’ tropes have been used to harm marginalized groups. Tag judiciously and use your best judgment. Be wary of ableism, such as using a person’s mental illness or physical disability as a scare factor or to make them seem more monstrous or mysterious. This does not mean you can’t create works with or about disabled or neurodivergent characters, simply be mindful of how those characteristics are portrayed and the role they serve in your work. Avoid transphobia, such as portraying a male character in a woman’s costume for laughs or using a character’s trans identity to make them seem villainous. (Lookin’ at you, Buffalo Bill.) This doesn’t mean your characters can’t explore gender roles! But it’s important to be thoughtful and intentional about how you portray transgender characters in a horror setting. Also, please be aware that the word ‘spook’ is an anti-black slur, and should be avoided in the creation of your works. (‘Spooky’, the adjective, is fine.) This is not a comprehensive or exhaustive list, and your judgment as an individual creator is important! If you have concerns about something you’re making, you’re more than welcome to message either of the organizers (@ghoste-catte or @puregaalee) for feedback. The organizers reserve the right not to reblog or republish work that is not appropriately tagged or that may not fit the spirit of the event.

What about sexually explicit (NSFW) content, is that allowed?

NSFW content is more than welcome, with some guardrails. NSFW content posted on Tumblr should be appropriately tagged and behind a ‘Read More’ cut. Any NSFW content hosted off-site should likewise be clearly labeled. If you choose to create NSFW images, be aware of Tumblr’s content guidelines. You may want to consider posting a cropped or censored image on Tumblr and linking to another site (Twitter, Privatter, Pixiv, Imgur, etc.) for the full image. Individuals under the age of 18 may not create sexually explicit material for this event.

I’m so excited, I just can’t wait! Can I post my creations early?

Please wait until the assigned day to post your creations for that prompt. Creations will not be reblogged until the assigned day for the prompt that inspired them.

Eek, I’m running behind! What if I created something for a specific day, but I didn’t get it posted in time?

Late postings will be accepted throughout the week, so if you created something for October 25th’s prompt but didn’t get it uploaded until October 28th, that will still be reblogged. The two weeks following the event will be reserved for ‘late posting’, during which time you can still upload your creations and tag the blog to have them reblogged. An event wrap-up will be posted after the end of the late posting period.

There’s an awful lot of words on this page, but none of them answer my question!

Please send an ask to @gaalee-events and we’ll get it answered as soon as possible!

[anarchy-axe]

Alright [cracks knuckles] let’s chat.

Yesterday’s ‘Resurrecting Ghostbur’ stream was amazing, I loved the underlying tension between the characters, the funny bits, the sweet bonding moments, et cetera.

That being said, I’m in incredibly uneasy about the Glattbur/Schlatt&Wilbur situtation. I, and I’m sure plenty of other fans know, the SMP isn’t afraid to dabble in mental health and various mental illnesses (see Wilbur’s steady mental decline and paranoia, Tommy’s depressive headspace and sucidal ideation, Ranboo’s anxiety-rooted-tendencies and panic attacks) for the purpose of creating a more complex character and other various plot relevant reasons. The chat, and a decent size of the fandom however, have taken to demonizing and putting these moments into a negative light (the chat spamming ‘insanity arc’ and ‘villain _insert character_??’ whenever someone even raises their voice during roleplay). This honestly is very worrying when “Glattbur” appeared. The way they were presented (ghostbur sounding afraid, glatt speaking when things he liked were metioned, ghost describing “blacking out” while Glatt was speaking) gave off the feeling that the CC’s were implying a DID or OSDD type of situation.

Now if we close our eyes and think really hard, we could all figure out how combing a chat hellbent on finding new “evil villain” characters and a newly formed system between what used to be one of the biggest villains in the series could go wrong. There is already enough stigma surrounding DID/OSDD. The absolute last thing we need is chat/writers trying to villainize this. I’m not suggesting the writers erase it completly, I am just begging that if the writers decide to treat this as something DID/OSDD ajacent, they do their research and portray this with the respect it deserves.

Just as a disclaimer, I do not have DID/OSDD. I’m not claiming to be this ‘big brained’ expert either. I’m simply stating my own concerns over the recent events. If anyone wants to add on or correct me in rebloggs then by all means go ahead, I’m always open to being educated.

[hqrarepairexchange]

Posting Guidelines

Hello, and welcome to the final stretch of the 2020 Haikyuu!! Rarepair Exchange! A lot of us have found new ships, new friends, and a lot of in between during this time, and the best part of the event - the gifting - is here!

Where do I post? You have your choice of where you post your work, as long as the hosting site does not require any kind of sign-ups to view the material. Examples: AO3, Twitter (art only), Tumblr, Instagram (art only), or even blogging sites like Dreamwidth or Livejournal, providing the post isn’t friend locked.

If you WANT to post art to AO3, no one will stop you, but if you’ve ever done it before, you realize that it doesn’t resize well and is terrible for mobile users. We recommend being judicious in which platform you use depending on what kind of work you’re posting.

Social Media Tag: #hqrarepairexchange2020 (both Tumblr and Twitter)

AO3 Collection: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/hqrarepairexchange2020

What do I post? We ask that all works be put into some kind of retweetable/rebloggable format for ease of sharing. On Twitter, you can post art directly there or a link to a fic. On Tumblr, you can post art and fic directly there, as well as create a link post. 

If you don’t have an account on either platform, or for whatever reason you don’t want to post your gift work there, you can SUBMIT the work (link, art, fic...whatever works) to the Tumblr blog <https://hqrarepairexchange.tumblr.com/submit>. You don’t need an account to do that, and the formatting is friendly to either type of work. If you can’t tag the post, don’t worry. Before the work goes live, a mod will tag the work with the appropriate ship and fandom tags so folks who track tags will still see it (and reblog it because -chefkiss-).

All social media posts must contain the following information:

Your recipient’s name + @ their socmed acct

Chosen Ship

Word count (optional, and if applicable)

Any archive warnings (Major Character Death, Graphic Violence, etc), as well as sensitive topics (illness/injury, phobias, animal injury). USE GOOD JUDGMENT.

A link to your created gift (if applicable)

A note for your recipient

When do I post? Posting runs from September 19th to October 4th. Don’t worry about time zones. If you’re in New Zealand and want to post at 12:01am on the 19th, even though it’s still yesterday morning on the other side of the world, go for it. 

Works may be submitted to the AO3 collection before the posting period begins, but they will be moderated (unposted) and not be approved until it’s the 19th in US Pacific Time. IF YOU DO POST TO THE AO3 COLLECTION EARLY, please bear in mind that your work will be timestamped for when you posted it, not when it goes live. When this is the case, your work will not show up in the most recents. We highly recommend you go back and edit the posting date to the current date when it does go live so people trawling the newest works have a better chance of finding yours.

How do I tag the account for the event? We have a Tumblr account (hqrarepairexchange) and a Twitter account (hqrpexchange). Feel free to @ either of our social media accounts, and post the work under the event tag. We’ll be tracking both.

Twitter: twitter.com/hqrpexchange

Tumblr: hqrarepairexchange.tumblr.com

Discord: https://discord.gg/C4KNwmJ

How do I let my giftee know their work is done? You have several options. The most common ways are tagging them in your social media post or AO3 work post, providing they have an account on that platform. In the assignment email you received back in June, We provided you with whatever social media accounts your giftee gave on their sign-up form. You can also find participants’ preferred social media accounts in the #roll-call channel of the event Discord, and most AO3 account handles are listed there, as well.

If you post a fic to AO3, if at all possible, we recommend you list your work as a gift for your recipient so they get an almost instant email letting them know something great is waiting for them. If you aren’t sure what their handle is, feel free to ask a mod either through our social media accounts, Discord, or our email <hqrarepairexchange2020@gmail.com>. We'd be happy to either ask or do some sleuthing for you.

We will have a channel in the Discord server specifically for posting exchange works, as well. Not only so you can find yours, but so your fellow participants can see what you’ve been working on. You can @ your giftee there if possible, as well.

Will the gift be anonymous? No. As soon as your post goes up, your giftee immediately knows who you are. The initial !!! phase of getting a gift is strong, and it’s only fair that it be directed at you in particular, the one who worked hard to make it.

I don’t see my gift. What do I do? If you don’t see your gift on Day 1, don’t worry. We know you’re excited, but your gifter assuredly wants to deliver the best work possible, so if they take a few extra days to perfect it, it’s worth it. However, you are always free to message a mod and we can check on the status of your gift or point it out if it was already posted.

I have a different question. If there is anything that is unclear or you’re not sure about, please contact a member of the mod team via social media, Discord, or email and we’ll get back to you ASAP.

[mollyh0lmes]

Hello and probably Goodbye, my friends.

having a tumblr since 2013 and no facebook/insta/twitter ever, i just gotta put my final worlds out here in hopes that maybe a few of my followers will pass on the message, before the end of tumblr.

I truly believe that Tumblr is finally coming to a close.

and here is why:

(if you read to the end there’s a treat for you)

————

Our NSFW content is gone, and so is our heartbeat. we can’t deny it much longer...

How is our penises and hearts connected? stay with me, i’m getting there

The people who have left this site, are those who were our creators.

They were our artists, our fanfic writers, our character creators, our loud sjws, our people who were not afraid to put their voices out there. our people who covered ANY and EVERY topic in gory and glorifying detail. our Performers, if you will.

they were our people who spoke so the rest of us could listen. They were our extroverts... i guess

Let’s start from the beginning. Yes this will be long, but it’s really only for the kids who have been here since at least 2015, my people need to hear this before they move on as well..

——————————-

The reason all of us joined this site, is because (dare i say it) we all have the same mind set. maybe even the same ideals in the end. why?

We were the first website that was so constantly inappropriate that we weren’t afraid to hear ANYTHING.

Taboo who??? We don’t beat around the fucking bush.

We take any and every subject and beat it to death in order to find out the one thing we all were looking for.

Turns out in the end... after every debate.

after all the trial and error.

after the back and forth of right and wrong.

after hearing from voices around every corner of the world.

after everyone became an invisible audience that lived behind a reblog button.

after we found our own democracy of judge, jury, and executioner here in this website

We’re figured out that we joined this website for the TRUTH

We joined this website because we could hear the unedited, raw, sometimes (most of the time) TMI, information that came from ALL OVER THE WORLD. With everyone on this site spewing every detail of things they would never share to people they knew in real life, we got to learn the REAL Reality of the world.

Everyone puts on a face depending on who the audience is. we have to, if someone knew the all explicit details of your life. you would probably never want to show ur face to them again.

But Here?

We don’t give a FUCK. We KNOW that we’re ALL goddamn HUMAN. we know we all be nasty stinky garbage slut nuggets. But we all KNOW that deep down we don’t want to hurt anyone we just like weird shit and don’t want to be judged!!

All humans have weird fetishes and obsessions and MOST of them are actually harmless! We’re all freaks but it’s okay! let’s lay the shit on the tumblr table and make sure that your creepy weird ass hobbies, are safe for everyone!

We tag! We filter! We make sure everyone has their safe bubble, but if you want to know something in full detail, we will show you!

This website is.... or was... the deep, carnal, heart of humanity. displayed in full color HD, and for everyone to enjoy in full anonymity, at their own risk.

We all believed in the same thing:

-Find the truth in everything

-be true to yourself

-never harm another person

-treat others as you would like to be treated

Every dedicated Tumblr User (from all over the world) came to this website because they hated taboos, they hated curtains, they hated not seeing all the perspectives, and they hated pretending to be someone they weren’t.

They came to this website because they could witness reality anonymously, and could contribute by rebloging what they knew to be true.

———

But our performers are gone. The raw, unphotoshopped, uncensored, voices had their platform distroyed.

Most of us are still here, but we are just the viewers.

The performers threw out anything and everything they could at us, and what we reblogged the most, revealed our true reality.

The witnesses (the performers) testified, and we the jury (the rebloggers) judged. it was a perfect system.

(whoever the judge is said fuck this shit and left our asses lmao)

But the Performers/Witness are gone

We the rebloggers/jury are here with nothing to reblog. for example...

IVE BEEN ON THIS SITE FOR 7 YEARS AND THIS IS MY FIRST REAL POST

I miss my nsfw freaks and i hate that this platform was distroyed by Normal®️ capitalistic regulations made by people with Money.

Fuck being in the apple store. fuck the “Safe For Work” Bull Shit

I miss my friends. I MISS tumblr from its prime.

LIFE AND POLITICS IS GETTING REAL SCARY, and tumblr was MY safe place. Crazy enough as it sounds it was my voice of reason for all these years. I had to come here to find my “crazy” people who actually believed that every human being has rights, and every topic needs to be debated. I had to come here to be grounded and reminded of the unedited truths.

I fixed my mental illness through therapy and medication because tumblr made me WANT TO.

This place was more like home than my own home was. People hear loved me more than my own flesh and blood.

in the end REAL PEOPLE were behind these anonymous posts and reblogs. real people with real hearts, and though i never actually talked to a single goddamn one of you (lmao),

you were... ARE STILL... MY FAMILY

I MISS THE LOUD PEOPLE WHO HAD CRAZY FETISHES AND REAL HEARTS.

the penis has been cut off and the heart is bleeding out.

I love you all and I will continue to reblog for now, but i feel that the end of my days are coming soon.

soon tumblr truly t won’t have anything to offer us that Cant be found on any other social media site.. .

We lost our soul and now we just rebloging screenshots from other platforms.

We lost our heart.

(because we lost our penis)

—-

For anybody who reads this whole post, i love you, from the deepest part of my heart. You have loved me and i love you.

I love you.

You are the reader, the reblogger, and the most beautiful goddamn person i have ever known.

You are what made this site beautiful and you have saved my life, as well as many others.

I love You.

Brick

(Dead name): Holly

❤️❤️❤️

[puppy-magic]

I think I now see why Set and Bastet are my main Patron and Patroness deities. The last couple of rebloggs about Set and the other about Bastet has left me thinking. They’re said to be paitent with people suffering from mental illnesses, and I feel it. I know it’s true, and honestly this sort of breakthrough is making me cry tears of joy.

Ive been dealing with the crushing weight of DID (dont get me wrong i love all of my alters, even the mean ones) PTSD, and major depression and it’s left me suffering. I haven’t touched my altar in weeks because of what i’ve been dealing with.

But, I know they’re still there. They still answer my prayers, I still make sure to include them when calling out to the Netjeru, I still make sure to give little praises to Ra when I see the sun shining down on me, I still come to Sekhmet when I visit the doctor or there’s a concern with my physical health, I still proudly call Bastet my spritual mother.

And they see that, not just Bast and Set but all of them know that I still love them, I just found Bast and Set particularly paitent when it comes to this. They’re waiting for me to get better, they’re waiting for me to give my 100%, and they aren’t angry. They still love and care for me, and even typing this im crying tears of joy at this revalation. They’ll always have my side, even when I feel like they dont, they still let me know they’re looking out for me.

Praise Bast, Praise Set, Praise the Netjeru. I love you all just as you love me.

[squirrellygirlart]

A Good Question: ML Blackout

So, I received an excellent question from @goingoffonanadventure  that I know I have seen other people ask too about the blackout and reposting art:

“So I've been seeing the content black out stuff and how so many people have been stealing the art work of others, really sorry about that and I hope I haven't done that, I just have a few questions. Do artists prefer that we only like the art on tumblr? Or is it stealing if we press that "reblog" button but don't change anything? I really hope I haven't stolen anything and if so how can I fix/apologize for my mistakes? Thank you so much for being amazing and for your time.” Okay, first off, big shout-out to them for how polite and genuinely sincere they were in this message! This is how you broach questions and concerns to content creators about reposting, and is an excellent example of online etiquette!  Now, to the question--- is it reposting when you reblog. Short answer: N O. Hit those reblog buttons with all your heart!

This was my response to her query: 

“Oh goodness, no, you are fine :D So reposting is when you take a picture of or download a piece that isn't yours, and then do an original post of it yourself. Reblogging just spreads the artists post and we SUPER ENCOURAGE REBLOGGING XD SO no worries precious one, you are beyond good :D I'd say, lawful-good all the way ;)”

(Yeah, I have terrible grammar, sue me) She agreed to let me post her question and my response, in case anyone else wasn’t sure and was nervous. 

If you have questions, ASK. < : ) Content creators want to help you understand why this is important, why this is a big deal, and why reposting is W R O N G. 

Now if you are a follower, a reblogger, a CONSUMER of content and want to know what you can do to support this protest for the next 7 days-- 

Ask questions to learn more about the issue

Go to this webpage, to learn more and maybe change your header or reblog one of the graphics related to the blackout to show your support

S H A R E the Official ML Blackout Webpage so that more people can be aware of the strike and what it is about.

Don’t reblog ML content from anyone participating in the blackout, unless it is ABOUT the blackout. But most importantly: 

Send asks to content creators letting them know you support them, appreciate them, and their hard work.

This strike isn’t going to stop EVERYONE from reposting art, and that was never the goal of it. It is to raise awareness about a problem, to educate those who may genuinely being doing it on accident or those who didn’t know why it is a problem, and to persuade those who do it intentionally, but with no ill-intention that they should stop, because what they are doing is hurting people. Thank you to everyone for your support so far! and thank you @goingoffonanadventure for the question!

HAVE A MIRACULOUS DAY!

[purgatoryfallenangel]

Do all the odd questions for the ask~

Ok here we go. Hopefully I went to the right ask cus I think I’ve reblogges more than one but I went to the most recent one lol. Also on mobile so I wrote down the questions in short form to respond too so. Yeh lol

1. Scars - I do have a few scars. One on my upper lip, ran straight off a freshly built porch and smacked my face right on the corner lol (was just learning to walk. Needed one stitch); chunk out of my knee from tripping on a tree root having a watergun fight when I was 8; and few little indents from when I had the chicken pox (was like. 12?)

3. Crush - yes there is a current crush lol. Well. Kinda crush kinda not it’s complicated (well not really but it’s a strange string if events lol).

5. Coke or Pepsi- fucking Pepsi all the way lol. I can drink coke too it’s not bad but I prefer Pepsi. If there’s no Pepsi then coke is my second option.

7. Best friends. Well. As for longest friends would be Rachael for sure. Though we haven’t talked much recently. And one I’ve known same about of time is kerestyn. Been some life issues that have caused some distance. For other good friends though that I’m still in contact with, well mainly my friends Imani (who changed her Tumblr and I can’t find her blog to @ her lol. And Harold. Who has a Tumblr he never uses lmao. As well as my friend Aleister. Who also has a Tumblr he doesn’t use… lmao

9. Dream job - honestly would be, plants I think. If I could work with plants and learn more and juat overall be the plant lady and tend to massive gardens that would be great.

11. Last time you cried - oh jeeze… I wanna say like. A month ago? Was stressed put about moving issuea. But think it was actually more like. A week and a half ago honestly. Wasn’t so much just, general stress, moatly some period hormones and thinking too hard about things that literally happened years ago…

13. Height - I feel short but in reality I’m adverage height for a girl in my area. I’m 5'3.5" (yea that half an inch counts I’m literally right smack on the half inch mark I swear lol.

15. Eye colour - I’ve got Hazel eyes. An olive kinda green around the outside with a lighter brown around the pupil. Swear they were more brown when I waa younger (like my mother and gransmother) but they’ve gone more green as I aged. So now I have my grandfather’s eyes (like my aunt. Who I look very very similar too already lol)

17. What do you love. Poutin, the paranormal and my cat. Not nesicarily in that order. Lol… could add more but I’ll leave that surprise till a later question lol.

19. If I had one wish what would it be - I’d juat wish that everything would be ok. Not even just for me but in general. Things don’t have to be perfect and amazing and fairytale perfect. Juat ok.

21. Kiss or hug - depends on the person. Close family is a kiss and a hug, not so much for kissing friends. Obviously if I’m dating someone it’s both. And then some.

23. Favorite song - as of late. Think it’s still this one here https://youtu.be/gJeh_dLjPN4. Closely followed by this one https://youtu.be/BI_0HIz_4JY

25. Worst thing to ever happen to me - honestly I wouldnt say anything all that awful has happened. Only one thing really but. I don’t really remember much and I’d rather not put out what I do remember on the internet.

27. Something I would change about myself - if I could get rid of my adhd think I would… Kinda been what’s fucked up my life until this point. Then again I wouldnt be me if I didn’t have it. So getting rid of it might not go well…

29. Worst mistake - holding onto people for far longer than I should have. I knew I should have just gone but I couldn’t let go and it fucked both sides up more than what waa needed. Well, I’d think it would anyway.

31. Heartbreak - yes I’ve gone through the heart break a few times. Once with my first long term boyfriend and the other time with a friend I was in love with. Me and the boyfriend broke up cus we couldn’t talk shit out without arguing and upsetting eachother.. And the friend was made uncomfortable because he’s a good few years older than me (7 years) and I was. I think, maybe 18. Possibly almost 19 when I told him but he met me when I was 15 so he was, creeped out a bit. Been years since I talked to either of them. Most recent was my, second long term boyfriend… that’s a mess I won’t get into. If only because one thing that caused the break up was him complaining to everyone but me, about me. And plastering his beef with me all over social media. As well as, images of things caused by my own issues and mental illness. So. I’m gonna leave the rest of that out… Though I’m more numb than anything when it comes to him…

33. Best day if my life - I’m not sure honestly. I’ve had a good few really nice days I don’t think I could pick a specific one lol.

35. Ever wish I could start over - honestly. No… because the shit that’s happened to me happened for a reason. If it hadn’t happened I wouldnt be where I am now or who I am now. Have to struggle to learn. Plus I’m actually happy now. Why would I want to give that up?

37. Near death experience - nah nothing like that. Unless I somehow didn’t notice I’ve never really had anything like that happen.

39. Lost a loved one - thankfully nobody I’ve been extremely close to has died recently. Family member I was closest too that had died waa my aunt Karen. But that was in. 2005? Maybe. God. Idk. I barely remember I wasn’t very old. I know it’s been at least 10 years but probably more than that honestly.

41. Someone you hate dislike - I really don’t hate anybody, and not normally for long if it does stick around… currently not to happy with my ex but. Again that’s more frustration. And some shit went down I have good reason to be angry about.

43. Relationship status - I am currently in a relationship. A very new one but. Was a long time coming lol.

Ok that’s a lot but here ya go. Enjoy this hot mess wasn’t really proof read but. Well it’s 230am so enjoy that lol

[whyittsy-blog]

FULL DOCUMENT

 link to the original document which includes screenshots

Document titled:  WHY LEX (AKA CATASTROPHICUR) IS SUCH A CATASTROPHE

Text:

Let me first say that I did NOT want to do this and that although I’ve more than countless reasons to do a call-out post to drag someone (well-deserving of it) through the dirt, I will not because that isn’t who I am. However, I believe after all this time (precisely since Sept 5th) that I deserve to have a voice. There are plenty of you who have only been hearing one side of the story and begin to assume the situation. I’ve known Lex for a year and a half (precisely beginning March 27th, 2016).

They utilize the name catastrophicur, formerly known as moraldysplasia, whom consists of the character (or muse), Jude. I, on the other hand, played on the blog popokki and roleplayed a character named Gale. Now this is an important piece because a lot of problems derived from a media that was only meant to be and is ever meant to be utilized for entertainment. My rule of thumb is, if you aren’t having fun then something is wrong and you ought to fix it. And if it can’t be fixed, then there are ways to discontinue it by blocking/ignoring/etc. But most people are here to write, not everyone is here to make friends or something more than that. After writing with Lex for several months, we could see that there was a spark in our characters and began to ship them. Through the summertime in 2016, they had gone through treacherous occurrences dealing with a demigod, Gale being expelled from high school, Gale’s best friend/potential girlfriend went into a coma, Gale was ill with a plague, Jude and Gale ventured into the mountains to get a cure, only for Gale’s caretaker to wind up dead and his barn to be burned to smithereens by people that were after Jude, Jude disappeared for a time—and that leads me into saying that Lex had also disappeared for a time. They had left for approximately 3 months, between the time of September-December and I had patiently awaited their return without ever a single complaint. I merely understood that Lex is human and tumblr is just a medium for entertainment. So despite us having agreed that Gale and Jude were already a pairing, I did not let it affect me personally. Now, December 2016 rolled around and Gale was building bonds with another muse, Archer. Lo and behold, Lex returned with the intent to drive this new muse (Archer) apart from Gale. I didn’t think of it as a big deal because it added excitement to the roleplay, and this is just a roleplay, right? Wrong.

[screenshots referred to in this document available within the link above. Additionally, this post is rebloggable]

It’s 2017 now, me and Lex were talking frequently. And I mean on a daily basis. Lex often joked boldly, being flirty and I just laughed and played along. I personally did not know whether I was heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, asexual, or pansexual. I’m a 25-year old woman who has never had a serious relationship with anyone because I never felt chemistry to bring me to want to be closer with someone in that way. I’ve always been focused on my career, my family, and friends.  (author note: She;s priming readers to sympathize with her even while the situation you’re about to read impacts her the least. Framing.)There was a time I didn’t even want to date because of my parents’ divorce/situation. But there were also many years where I dated around, had a single date and let the person know I was not interested within the next few days/weeks but I never made someone wait on me longer than a month. So I’m sure you can see where this is going. At the end of summer 2017, Lex is speaking freely to their family about potentially liking me – but every time Lex talks to me about it they said things like: “You might not like me”, “Once you see me, you’ll see I’m a gremlin and you won’t like me anymore”, and on voice call I clearly remember Lex saying to their family “We won’t know if we like each other until after we meet”. Now I wasn’t sure if I liked Lex either, I was curious and I reassured them that I’m not a shallow person. I wouldn’t just wind up not liking them due to appearance or something of that sort. I thought I knew their personality well enough and that would be enough for me. What I didn’t know is what my sexual orientation is and that it’s not that simple as telling myself to love someone. But I truly believed that there was potential, I truly believed that there was a spark, and I truly believed that we could perhaps one day live together. I spoke many times to one of my best friends that I’ve known since I was 12 (who doesn’t RP on tumblr), Grace, and let them know that I was thinking of this. I told them that I would be buying Lex’s ticket and they could come see me for a week so that we can really decipher if this is for us. But moreover, MOST importantly, *I didn’t want this to be all about judgement. I wanted me and Lex to have fun.* I wanted this to be a memory they could cherish and appreciate the idea of moving away from their family someday, to let them know that there’s so much more out there in this world than the one they currently live in. Why? Because every week there was always, always something wrong in their household. Whether it was the fact that Lex continues to struggle to get into college (because their mother won’t do the paperwork), because they struggled to get a job, got a job but it was through their mother and now they’ve to work with a shitty/creepy boss all the time,

( Sidenote: There are many mentions of other people throughout this but I’m going to take a minute to speak about Cami. Cami was another friend of mine that I cherished dearly and spoke with everyday. We’ve wrote since before me and Lex. We had so many great times together, I can’t even begin to count. We loved to watch movies/shows/etc together and the endless calls while I was driving were some of the best. Sadly, spring 2017 things fell apart between us. Cami had gone through a rough patch in life, in which I tried to help support them almost daily through the struggles they were going through even if it was only advice that I could provide. One day, they had said they were going to take more pills after I had said that I wasn’t feeling mentally OK to help them through what they were going through that day… and it was then, that I explained from my POV what was going on and that it was not OK for Cami to do that. It was push/pull from thereon and eventually, Cami had said she did not wish to be friends with me anymore. I said that was OK. A week or so later, Cami apologized and I was forgiving because I wanted to still be friends with them, I wanted to move past this rough patch and to go back to how things once were. But despite their apology, they let me know that it will take THEM time to mend before they can speak to me again. I was confused because… I was the one who was hurt by this. I later figured it was because they didn’t want to hurt me again, but I still found is peculiar that I would have to wait for them to get better before I could speak with them as friends again. People don’t often wait for that, people naturally move on as time goes on. But I waited, I waited three months to hear from Cami again and it wasn’t because she merely wanted to rebuild our bond… but we’ll get into that later. This screencap expresses that I wasn’t on the best terms with Cami but there were PLENTY of times when I would ask Lex, “why hasn’t Cami spoken to me again yet…? I just don’t understand…” because I truly did wish to be friends again. Anyway, moving on--)

Also they’ve a sibling that is potentially dangerous to the entire family from time to time, and the feeling of being STUCK despite being 23 years old. So yes, I took the time/effort/money into buying Lex an airplane ticket.

To tell you the truth the trip was fantastic. I always make it my mission to make it memorable and plan every day out—just as I did with Grace when she came to visit me in 2017 January. I had a lot of fun, I planned that we go see almost EVERY dog park that we could potentially go to because I know Lex’s passion for dogs. We went hiking and to lakes, we traversed/toured through MKE and really just had a great time. But there was undoubtedly that unspoken tension of whether or not we’d like one another. Unfortunately, the kind of chemistry that I was hoping to feel wasn’t there. Now yes, you’re probably thinking—“ love doesn’t happen at first sight”. I agree with that but for me, I needed some kind of pull or some kind of attraction. I didn’t know what it was and I was severely frustrated with myself. To further that notion, *I have severe anxiety (as does Lex). This however, plays into a major factor here that I am not bold and I’m very reserved, I can almost come off as shy to people who meet me in real life. I try very hard to keep so many people in my life and to keep everyone happy (not very realistic of me, I know), I do not want anyone to ever hurt especially because of me or because of simple/stupid mistakes, thus I’m careful about how I approach subjects/matters/situations. This apparently was unsettling for Lex**

once they returned on Sept 5th from visiting me. Lex returned Sept 5th and from there on, kept saying ‘something is off’.

I didn’t initially know what they meant because I figured that if we carried on, maybe JUST maybe we could continue to be friends without anything changing. It was a false hope. By the time they kept pressuring and stating day after day, something is off:

(This is potentially when Lex was already trying to get information out of me but I was just giving them solid advice/information that if they thought they could move TOMORROW, that wasn’t realistic. I had a couple relatives pass away that were close to me, I got a dog that caused us to have to move, and I am still living with my mother/supporting her. So it’s not exactly easy and so I got real with them about that in this snippet.)

(Ana was their ex-gf.)

I began to fret over the fact I didn’t feel any chemistry with them and I knew that was the reason that something was off. However, I wanted to have feelings for them but I knew I couldn’t control that, the idea of telling them that I didn’t scared me because I was afraid of losing them as a friend altogether. I was not only afraid of losing them but hurting them at all. I told myself, it was too soon to let them know what was ‘off’ when it had only been a day or two days from their visit (notice the dates in the previous screenshots). I knew if I had they would wonder to themselves ‘what did I do wrong?’, ‘was it my looks?’, ‘could I have done something different?’

Unfortunately, I admit that I let it drag on longer than I originally intended as it happened to be a week and a half from their visit. Which again, I do not believe is horrendous but it was through a bad method where I had posted a meme about myself on tumblr. A meme that expressed that I was ‘single4life, and that I didn’t like anyone romantically atm’. Now mind you, this was ONLY after Lex was beginning to say things that rubbed me the wrong way. There was mentions of Jude not liking that Gavriel (another muse of mine) was having interest in another muse, Shion played by Lettie. Mind you, Jude’s plotline did not at all align with Gavriel or Shion: (It starts out small but this begins to be a big problem in the future, where Lex starts to try to get in between Gavriel and Shion simply because they felt jealousy and were afraid of losing me.)

(But then I also noticed that Lex was implementing Jude into RPs with not only Shion in an almost aggressive approach, but Sy’s muse Myles. They claim to this day that Myles was not ill-intended but if Shion’s was ill-intended, then I still don’t know how to feel about Myles.) Below you get to see something else that rubbed me the wrong way:

Now I need to say what was going on in my daily life before I dive into the nitty gritty of the fall out of our friendship. Sept 5th was when Lex came to visit, I had 2 week off from work because I just got a new job at the American Red Cross and was going to start on Sept 11th. On the first week they had me drive 2 hours away from home and stay in a hotel with awful internet service, I lost my credit card so I had to figure out how to pay for gas/meals/etc by constantly driving out to a bank to withdraw money, I was homesick, I originally thought it was only for 2 days but they had me out there for 4 and no one actually knew what my true schedule was. Natheless, getting a career I could appreciate was a big milestone for me and as an introvert, I need alone time to recuperate/recharge my social battery but here ever since Lex got home I was spoke to them Sept 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, AND 10th. Not only was I starting my job but my childhood friend Tess, from IRL, was having her bridal shower Sept 16th. I didn’t have much money due to the gap in jobs and I wanted it to be the best for her. Tess also had her bachelorette party two weeks after that, on Sept 30th. And then her wedding weekend on October 15th. This is all important because these are weekends where I’m incredibly busy attending/focusing on people immediately in the same state as me and trying to cope with daily-life struggles. Now of course, I know Lex had IRL struggles, too, but I KNEW THIS and didn’t push them one way or another. I merely supported them as a friend.

It was when I sent them a snapshot on Sept 14th of my dogs reuniting after I had been on a work trip. I said specifically in the snap “Marley missed Gideon more than me!!” and Lex felt it was necessary to say “Don’t worry Marley, me too me too”. It was an obvious jab at me. It could have been joking, except that I expressed that it kind of hurt and even after I did that, they didn’t even care to apologize. Feeling somewhat upset over it, I regretted my latter action of posting a mun meme. Now when I posted this, I told myself that “we did not establish anything” and we didn’t. Couples verbalize when they are dating OR they make out OR they have sex multitudes of times… there has to be something to let both partners know that they are in a relationship. You can’t just assume that you’re in a relationship with someone ESPECIALLY when it was both clear before the trip that we weren’t sure if there would be any chemistry between us. Of course, I still do not agree with the fact I put it in a meme:

Now mind you, I had apologized for my actions and this does NOT measure up to the amount of things Lex does following this to intentionally hurt me. The truth of me not liking Lex unravels when they find out through the meme that I said I was single and not romantically interested in anyone on Sept 14th.

This is the entirety of the conversation:

(This screen capture shows the end of the night, leading into Sept. 17th.)

As you see here, I admitted my wrongdoings already. I admitted that I didn’t like Lex romantically but I wanted to continue being friends IF they still wanted that, too. They said that they did wish to be and so we went from there. It’d been awhile since we did anything fun together and I was hoping that we could smooth things over by doing some of the stuff we did before as friends; watching animes/shows, plotting, etc. So on Sept 17th this happened:

I want to make emphasis on the fact that here I mentioned I am not direct or bold. I would never hide from people or hide things from them. But I also WON’T TELL PEOPLE THINGS THAT DON’T INVOLVE THEM. It’s not everyone’s business to know what is going on in my life. I am not OBLIGATED to tell anyone ANYTHING unless if they are family, OR if I happened to be in a romantic relationship with them. On Sept 14th I had clearly put a meme out that I was single and not interested in anyone, Sept 17th I had clearly voiced my thoughts/feelings about Lex and from thereon, I don’t need to tell them what my sexual orientation is, or if I might try a dating app. I don’t need to tell them that I’m going to a wedding for my friend or that my sister had a baby, I don’t need to tell them anything that I don’t feel like telling. So don’t make this out like I cheated on you. Back to the timeline.

It’s clear that it was much too soon for me to be enthusiastic and hope that we could still be friends. I really did encourage that we did something together. When I was invited to a cah game, I got excited but it was all BNHA fandom… and I was really out of the loop. It was with a bunch of Lex’s fandom friends and I was awkwardly trying to get through the puns/jokes that I didn’t get just to hang out with Lex.

At this point in time, Lex went on to make a new muse – Stain. Now I knew this was to get some fresh air from Jude’s blog and I could appreciate that. Nor did I ask for them to tell me about it and I wouldn’t have minded if I had never known about it. Even to this day, I haven’t had a single interaction with their muse Stain or their other muse that’s a doctor (or something).

I do want to point out that after a certain time, Lex almost felt BLIND to my problems and only voiced their own. I gratefully took them on, trying to give advice and trying to be supportive with everything they encountered.

Around this time, Lex decidedly makes a group chat between me, Lettie, and themselves. This group chat was solely for the purpose of trying to get Jude in between Gavriel and Shion. Lex has openly admitted that in the future after I noticed something was fishy and I had genuinely stated that we should have split verses for Shion. This created an uproar from Lex. Now mind you, I had every reason to do this because . Read the following content at your own discretion and know that none of it is edited. I’m to tired for any of this and to be downright honest, this makes me think I’m in high school all over again (except it’s worse). I’ll say snippets on each portion but otherwise take what you seI also received snippets of Lex going behind my back, speaking with other people I wrote with or knew. Muhu, Lettie, Cami, and Sy. Now I hardly know Sy but the other three I knew well enough to feel uncomfortablee in for yourself. I have said to Lex before, no one is at fault. I truly believed that until their continued ill-intent was impossible to get passed and after we had our fall out where I originally blocked them for a day and they posted a call-out post of me – they then later apologized for it and said they wanted to talk it through? Well great, I unblocked them and talked it through. Even despite the crumby feeling of them going behind my back, talking shit about me to other people – going as far as to say that they were trying to figure out a way to be mean to me, as if devising plots to hurt me. I don’t understand or see how they’re getting away with just sitting over there playing pityparty all day long. Only I can see it because I’ve been quiet, silent and keeping it BETWEEN me and Lex. I only spoke to people I knew wouldn’t go blabbing to Lex or anyone else about it. I spoke with people I knew weren’t even on tumblr to vent, because I do believe in venting. But I didn’t mislead people or try to get them into the middle of it. And continue to do to this day. As it’s proven by both Cami and Muhu, who have gone behind my back to share information about my life to Lex. This should NOT involve other people but I see that continuing to twiddle my thumbs behind a gd screen and hoping people will be logical is not doing me any good. Here is when Lex admitted they were having inferiority complexes and this was the night before the bachelorette party (9/22):

Here is when I noticed that Lex was trying to get in between my muse and Lettie’s. And if not between our muses, he was going to play on the idea of Jude getting with Shion and/or Myles in replacement of Gale, as if I should be bothered by it. AKA they were looking for a reaction (10/05):

It was also (10/05) later that same day that Lex felt they needed to say something. This was them expressing that they felt things weren’t getting any better and by now, I’m hearing things from third parties of what Lex is doing behind my back. Things that are harsh and volatile. Things that are MEANT to hurt me. But despite my greater efforts to be friends with Lex and hoping they will heal from knowing I don’t like them that way (a month ago), they come to me saying this:

(I want to note that Lex is clearly expressing they are frustrated that I’m not giving them enough attention/speaking with them daily? Even though I shouldn’t have to feel obligated to do that. Nor should a friend feel as though I have to speak with them daily just to be friends. I knew that they were still hurting from hearing that I didn’t like them, so I did want to give them the space that THEY asked for but I got to hear more that… ultimately made my next decision.) However, on 10/08, I saw evidence through screenshare that Lex was speaking behind my back to people that I wrote with on tumblr rather closely and it wasn’t just one person but multiple people. It was then that I decided that I needed to step away from it all a few days later. That something wasn’t right and things weren’t improving despite it being a whole month since we last saw each other. So I made a decision that I believed would be most healthy for both of us and would be the most adult like decision. Instead of calling them out or going and venting to people that I know are close to Lex/would have them have second thoughts about Lex, I spoke with them directly (excuse the highlights, I had to use the ‘search’ key to find it on discord):

So here’s the call out post they made about me after I blocked them (10/10):

And then when they admitted that they were wrong:

*And then more proof that they weren’t really just obsessed with me but obsessed with my character more than ever, that I just felt like I didn’t matter:*

It was then that Cami who I haven’t spoke to in MONTHS came into my messenger and demanded answers from me. I again, don’t owe anyone anything. We, too, have had hardships and I have been hoping for many months that Cami would come speak with me. So that we could smooth things out, so we could rebuild our friendship and make it something stable again. So why, why do you believe that you had the right to come to me and demand that I speak with you about Lex? It was clear to me you were only concerned about Lex and that anything I said to you, would travel to Lex. More third-party crap and I didn’t want to be like that, I didn’t want to be like Lex where I was telling the whole fucking world about our problems. I wanted US to fix it. I want US to be friends again.

 No thanks to Cami butting in, but I originally felt bad. I am human and I wanted to give them another chance to be FRIENDS with me. Now mind you, my trust has been violated and broken by them countless times at this point. Just because I let them back into my life again did not mean I was friends with them once more. We had to work on rebuilding that trust still, we had to mend our broken bridges, and that takes time. But that also means there’s no way in the world that I’m going to tell you about my daily life, my social life, my work life, my family, and other friends, etc. I’m probably just going to try to have fun with you in the present by playing games, watching movies, plotting/writing, and not sharing my personal life with you anymore. Why? Because we aren’t dating, we were hardly friends, and we were basically acquaintances—or worse, ex friends trying to be friends again. So what in your right mind makes you think I’m going to tell you about the fact that I’ve made new friends IRL? And that one of those people I’ve developed a crush on, and he’s got NOTHING to do with you. (anon note: withholding this information isn’t bad. Whitholding information that allows people to make informed decisions and then reacting to their uninformed decisions as if they should have known information deliberately witheld is what creates problems)

Now before I dive into that subject, I have to mention the one that happened RIGHT before another drama shitstorm happens. This one involves me having a hard time pulling my muse together and writing on Gale or Gavriel in tumblr (within good reason after the many months of bologna). I have been working on another muse for a time that’s away from all the drama, away from people that unfortunately tire me tf out. That’s not abnormal. That’s why Lex made Stain or their other muse doctor, person. Which they had to smudge in my face that Cami was making themes for them, which they did say that it was only because they weren’t talking to me but rather sleeping while Cami made them a theme. Doesn’t matter, it makes me cringe because they said things like this about Cami:

 And I can’t be entirely faultless either as I’ve played into it some but within reason of my relationship with Cami being so shaky. Me wanting to talk to them but instead they would only be talking to Lex. And I would just hear on occasion that Cami wanted to come speak with me but still hadn’t. It was frustrating and I was sad at the time whenever I heard it. Moving on, I asked Cami after we DID start talking again if they wanted to make me a theme for my new muse. I did approach it as a business, not as friends since I knew we still had to build bridges. Thus, I had offered a good sum of money. They still declined and added that they only make themes for friends, not for money. So I was basically shut down, which was fine, I brushed it off. Until they went behind my back to tell Lex. Again, not something that Lex needed to know—not something I was obligated to tell them when we were still working on our friendship to begin with. And it’s not like I told Tess my childhood friend that I was making a new blog, I didn’t tell ALL my other friends on tumblr that I was making a new blog either, just the people I was getting along with for some space and hopefully you can understand that at this point why (11/12):

So in this, we find out that Cami was the one that leaked information to Lex about my new blog and that set Lex going off on me when I told them I wanted to take a break from Gale & Gavriel. And I finally decided after all this craziness, that we’re in our mid twenties and we’re fighting like children. We’re all TIRED but I’m more tired of the fact everyone has only seen the story through one lenses. I went to Cami afterward to tell them not to share my conversations with other people that do not need to be involved (11/12):

Anyway enough of that evidence. I found out that I really do like a guy (this sounds sudden doesn’t it? it sounds like it shouldn’t be related to this entire problem, should it? well…). That’s right. On PRECISELY Sept 28th, I decided to try my bumble app again. I opened it up and while I was passing through a city, a particular guy piqued my interest. Now, when you first meet someone you aren’t automatically dating. We didn’t establish anything EVEN TO THIS DAY but after last weekend, I’m sure that we’re at least both romantically interested in each other. And I can FINALLY say after the month of October (not even September), that I know I’m heterosexual. Weekend after weekend after going to Tess’s wedding on Oct 14th, I was hanging out with this guy and his friends. I didn’t know if we were friends or something more until last weekend (Nov 11th). That’s TWO WHOLE MONTHS from when I let Lex know that I was not interested in them romantically.

So I don’t know why Muhu felt it was necessary to expel this to Lex (11/13):

Or why they felt they could write a novel on me when they only know half (if it’s even half the truth) of the story (11/13):

Oh BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. So on top of Muhu feeling it was within their hands/morals to tell Lex something that really didn’t matter after we already spoke and blocked another. I get ANOTHER message from Cami demanding for information. Well fine. Here. Have it. I’m done trying to keep my mouth closed and protect peoples’ feelings.

(And you know what Cami? All that I can remember or think about is that you sound JUST like Forza.)

SO NOW that everyone has gotten their share of thought/side of the story/pov across. I know who my real friends are. I know who I can trust. Unfortunately, I can’t trust you. So goodbye.