#sure i'm good at it and i find the topic incredibly interesting

[taki118]

Kirishima and Other Women

Among the criticism and complaints of Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii aka Yakuza Fiance the most common is about how Kirishima "cheats" but what if I were to tell you this aspect of him actually serves an important point within the narrative? Because it does, in fact it serves a few.

First and foremost this is common in the Yakuza subculture. The series is a bit of a send off to Yakuza subculture and media with references that tend to go over your head unless you are into it (most go over mine). This is no different. While this isn't as narratively important it is important to know overall, the series embraces all things Yakuza the good and the bad (unlike some other Yakuza series but that not a rant for here) And like it's implied pretty much all the guys in the series to it to some degree yes even Shoma. I only have some knowledge of this myself so I won't get into it but I would recommend looking into cause it is interesting and makes sense for the series to incorporate on some level due to this and it would feel wrong to not mention it.

Now lets go onto to something more meaty and kinda spoilery, so don't read (though I don't think it will ruin your enjoyment)

So these other women actually help to better understand Kirishima and his relationship/feelings towards Yoshino. One detail the anime leaves out is who these women are and they are women. All college age or older, and all some kind of working professional who has skills or connections Kirishima does not have. Remember Kirishima is not technically Yakuza so he does not have access to resources that actual members of the group have but because he is involved with that world still he has to find a way to make up for what he resources he lacks. The safest resource he has found over the years is women.

Just like how Yoshino unintentionally raises the ire of women, Kirishima does the same to men both intentionally and unintentionally. He has difficulty connecting with people which is a topic in and of itself, but because of this he has learnt how to gain connections on a superficial level so he only does so with those he can feel some control over or feel safer. AKA Women. Kirishima knows he's attractive, and he knows how easy it is to charm people but those had an ongoing connection with are those who understand it's a game and want something back.

It's all quid prop quo, he does something for them and so they in turn do something for him. FYI I'm pretty sure what he's getting out of it isn't psychical pleasure, information, connections and a safe house for sure but actual enjoyment from sex? Not likely again the anime doesn't show it very well but many manga readers have noted how disconnected Kirishima looks during these moments. (Which I will fully get to later) It's an exchange when Yoshino calls him gigolo she's not wrong, and there is a greater discussion to be had here about how early Kirishima started doing this and all the messy stuff that comes with it but because we don't have enough information on how that started I won't get into it. (and its a little off topic)

Overall all though this shows the audience that Kirishima has a kind of warped view of sex and intimacy, he views it as a resource he can use much like his fighting ability, to him it's the same thing. At least at the start.

When Tsubaki tells Kirishima that he is actually very easy to understand when she has Yoshino there to compare, I believe this was a hint the author was giving us. To understand Kirishima and how he really feels about Yoshino who just need to look at how he is with other women.

It is INCREDIBLY telling that the closest thing Kirishima has to an ex-girlfriend is Nao, because notice how that term is never used within the story by the pair as to what their relationship was. Nao calls Ozu an ex but not Kirishima, he's just a guy she had a fling with (with a weird age gap) even though she seems to care more about him than Ozu (another deep dive I'll probably do). Kirishima also never uses the term, he does note that he did like her to some degree more than likely a little more than the other women he has similar situationships with but it was still at its core transactional. They both wanted what the other could offer more than them as a person. (also just fucking for weeks isn't a relationship) Kirishima always keep everyone at a distance, keeps everything close to the vest, makes sure the situation is advantageous to him so he can't get screwed over, every single one. Except Yoshino.

You see it constantly in the series as Kirishima WANTS to connect with Yoshino. He wants to better understand and connect with her in ways he has never bothered to before. In fact you can argue that Kirishima is actually more emotionally unintelligent than Yoshino as he has such difficulty in understanding what Yoshino wants from him. He's so use to being fake, to acting the way women around him want him to be that it throws him through a loop that Yoshino doesn't want that. She forces him to be a person not a persona.

Because of that, like Tsubaki says, he is desperate to understand and connect with her unlike with the women who he is connected to in a superficial way. I know it weirdly upsets some viewers that these women "Know" Kirishima in a way Yoshino hasn't but they don't actually know him Yoshino does. People often conflate love and sex as being the same thing but its not, sometimes it overlaps (and like that should be the standard but its not). This series sort of forces you to confront that assumption, because the real moments of love are in the smaller things.

It's Kirishima helping Yoshino with her garden, its him trying to get her focus on him, its him talking to her about mundane things, its him seeking out the things she wants, its him telling her his birthday, and yes it's him sleeping with other women to keep her safe. A LOT of people don't realize this but it is right there in the text he only reconnected with Nao because it would make the situation in Osaka more advantageous for him to keep Yoshino safe. There is a very good likelihood that if the situation would 100% not get Yoshino involved that Kirishima would have just stayed out of it. (which like damn sucks for you Nao) In actuality Kirishima likely would have preferred just a normal trip to Osaka with Yoshino (even though the chaos does help him confirm his own feelings again) Kirishima wants to desperately to be connected to Yoshino in anyway he can but you don't see that in how he is with other women, and it's in seeing that you can see his authenticity.

For further reference to something I noted earlier look at how Kirishima looks in these scenes with women both during and after sex.

There's little to no actual emotion or care, he operates almost robotically like you see when he fights someone he doesn't really give a shit about. It is something he's doing cause he has to not cause he wants to. Now compare these reactions to how he reacts when he finds out he accidentally/unconsciously felt Yoshino up

It's this flurry of emotions you can't even fully quantify like he can't even fathom he really did that. Kind of a strange reaction to give to someone who has done way more for way longer, but it makes perfect sense if you remember love and sex are different. With these other women he didn't care, sex didn't mean anything they could have been anyone and in all honesty if he could get away with not doing it he'd probably prefer it. But he loves Yoshino so he actually cares, he is actually turned on, he actually feels something.

THAT is the point of the side women. Kirishima is very hard to understand his character is a mystery for a majority of the series (and to a degree still is) these women help to solve that mystery if you take the time to really look at what's happening and not get parasocially angry that he is "betraying" his love for her. In his mind he's not because love and sex are different, sex to him until Yoshino is just a tool, its one of the many things that Yoshino changes in him over the course of the series. Lets not forget that one of his side women actually makes him realize the situation with Yoshino isn't all that great (the scene is better in the manga) cause he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize that himself and is a catalyst for the two actually growing closer. Like I keep having to cut myself short cause I'll just go off on how wonderfully complicated and uncomplicated Kirishima is as a character, but this is an important aspect to understand and shouldn't just be written off as "He's a red flag".

These women give us insight into how Kirishima is Pre-Yoshino and shows us how far he's come Post-Yoshino, in a way that could not be done otherwise. So maybe it makes you uncomfy for a bit but it's not bad writing it serves a purpose that could not be done otherwise.

[lord-luci]

I think doing law homework for the last twelve hours straight broke something in me, because for some godforsaken reason I am now looking at law schools.

[elysiansparadise]

Hey Elysian! I want to congratulate your completion of your Rising series; I've enjoyed all of the post. Just wanted to ask your opinion of all the rising signs. It doesn't have to be super detailed or long (although you can if you want), just your thoughts/opinions on all of them.

Excited to see your next plan!

Thank you so much love! I have many plans regarding future posts, including analysis of the risings of the composite chart! I would love to give my opinions regarding the risings. 🩷

I have already talked about Taurus and Sagittarius risings, so I will mention the rest!💞

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🤍Starting with Aries rising… I have great admiration for them, for me they are the faithful representation of resilience. I think that being ruled by Mars helps them have this strength to face everything that life has to give them. Many of them hide their pain and may be more stoic than they are given credit for. They fiercely protect those they love and never allow themselves to be trampled on by anyone. The ones I've met usually fall into the sexy category and are incredibly attractive [and they know it]. I think it is difficult for many of them to feel safe and free to be emotionally open, but within them there is a very giving heart and someone very attentive to the comfort and well-being of those they love.

🤍Gemini risings are a breath of fresh air for me. It is very interesting to have the chance to talk to them and spend time with them. They can be very perfectionists deep down behind their chill appearance. Curious and knowledgeable people who get bored when things become too monotonous, and they have that ability to turn the most mundane into something fun. They are people who adapt very easily to what life brings them and I admire the intelligence and common sense with which they move throughout life. Those I have met tend to have the ability to see a situation from different perspectives and I find that respectable. And they are incredibly charismatic!! I swear, whether they are extroverts or not, they have the ability to be funny, witty and very good at communicating.

🤍I feel very drawn and caring towards Cancer rising, that's for sure. I get along very well with them and I have enormous love for them. My best friend has this and I love her. They are very calm and observant people, and there is something about them that commands a lot of respect even if they do not intimidate others, rather it is the way in which they carry themselves. In my eyes they are responsible and very dedicated to everything they keep in their hearts, whether it be projects, people or hobbies. They are incredibly reserved with their emotions and are very intelligent when it comes to understanding themselves and others. They are very empathic and understanding and truly, very trustworthy, your secrets are safe with them.

🤍As I described in the rising series, I see Leo risings as people with a huge heart. They can be very giving with the people they love and very loving once they trust you. Intense and very passionate, both their emotions and their personality. They work very hard for what they want and are very dedicated people when they see that something is worth it. I am fascinated by how good life looks next to them, I feel that they seek to contribute positive things to the lives of those around them and I find that honorable. Attractive and charming. The authenticity of these people is something to applaud, they will never pretend to be something they are not, that's a fact.

🤍My loves Virgo rising, I love them. I'm a fan. I like them. They are my crush. Okay, but seriously, they are truly admirable people, very hard on themselves and with tendencies to overthink, but they have so many good qualities that I could do a whole page simping mentioning them. Intelligent and modest about it, they constantly expand their knowledge and when they know about a topic they speak with confidence about it. Blunt and very honest, they will tell you what they think without feeling the need to walk on glass. They are very accepting people who will never judge others for their differences and can often feel curious about people who are different from them. They are very logical when it comes to solving problems, which I consider very appropriate for maintaining a good relationship and atmosphere.

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🤍Libra rising people won't settle for less, never. They are people who highly value their time and energy and do not use it on just anyone. Of great emotional intensity, they do not mess with the feelings of others and do not let others mess with theirs. They are very ambitious people and can place very high expectations on themselves. A mixture of intelligence, cunning and intuition. They are excellent friends and can be very giving. They are very passionate people who constantly work on themselves and their relationships, they put a lot of energy into those they love. They are incredibly seductive and there is something very alluring about them. They like to share what they know and learn a lot from others.

🤍Many people I appreciate have Scorpio rising and I have a genuine appreciation for them. I love how mature they can be, great listeners, patient and very logical, there are so many things to admire about them. Many of them tend to have a great reputation when it comes to things related to passions or hobbies that they have and they take all of this very seriously, constantly seeking to improve and perfect their skills. Many of them may experience many hardships throughout their lives and it is admirable that they never victimize themselves in this regard, they live their grief and work hard to move forward. They are people who know how to love very beautifully and are also very devoted.

🤍Those with Capricorn rising learned to be stable for themselves and the people around them, it is difficult for them to rely on others but they will do their best to help and be there for those they love. They are caring and protective in a more discreet way. Many of them are often highly admired and respected in the fields in which they work. Many of them can be playful at heart and jovial as they get older. They can connect very well with people older than them and as they grow they can easily be mentors to younger ones. They give this appearance of being in control of their lives, of staying strong no matter what life throws at them. Many of them prefer deep conversations and getting to know the people they interact with in their entirety.

🤍Something that I will always admire about Aquarius rising is the guts they have to say what they think and be themselves without fear of what others say. They tend to be either very loved or very controversial and I find that duality very interesting. Contrary to what others say, they can be very stable when it comes to the bonds they form and I have experienced it firsthand. They can be very supportive and helpful people with those who are close to them, and they can also be deep down very sensitive to the suffering of others. They tend to stand out and attract attention without seeking it and many people can talk a lot about them. I have noticed that many of them tend to be very selective with whom they open up. They may think a lot about the future and worry about it.

🤍I haven't had the pleasure of meeting many Pisces risings, but the few people I know with this placement are very charming and have a very nice personality. I feel that these people try to be very understanding of other people because they would like someone to be that way with them, they are the true example of treating others how you want to be treated. Their intuition is truly strong and their creativity is a whole world that I consider worth exploring. They are not superficial and always seek to dive deep. They have very strong opinions and it is not easy to change their minds. And there is something about them, perhaps their aura or attitude, that gives you a lot of comfort and calm, often making random people talk to them about their lives even if they just met them. I have a friend with this placement and she's literally my safe place.

[doin-just-fine]

MAJOR UPDATE: Questioning systems or systems in a doubt spiral pls read.

I recently told my therapist about potentially being a system. This was a scary move because she has previously had some iffy takes about systemhood. But I told her because I trusted that she would meet me where I was at and help me navigate , at the least, the general idea of not understanding my own brain if nothing else which I was ok with. I told her and it went as expected. I explained why I thought I might be a system but also the doubts I had about it and how it was distressing me to not understand myself. She agreed to use the language I was using for it and was happy to help me through (as is her job) and also because whether it was systemhood or not it was something in me that was trying to be seen and we would work on figuring out what it was.

Fast forward a few session, and I was going through another bout of "what the fuck even is my brain". I was starting to realize that my "systemhood" is very different from the things I've been seeing online. In the ways that it's different to other systems is: - I'm always in the front, always in the captains chair - I have no amnesia because I never switch out - My hyper-vigilance never lets me dissociate fully though i definitely "check out" in my own way - Head mates just feel like vague ideas or emotions

But the ways that are similar are: - These vague ideas or emotions have opinions and feelings that are different from my own. - Though they are vague, I can definitely tell they are separate from what I have come to understand as "me" - I become "a different person" in the sense of my attitude, vibe, behavior, and opinions change from where they were 5 mins ago, but I am still me, just a different me.

Anyway, I was already trying to make sense of all of this and was not planning on talking about it with my therapist because nervous... However, my therapist ask me about it first. She asked some clarifying questions about my partners system vs my own and how they are different. When I explained what I just wrote above to my therapist she said "Thats what I thought and I owe you an apology."

Basically, my therapist, like any good therapist should when confronted by something they don't know a lot about, had been doing research on complex forms of trauma and coping. Things in the same vain as CPTSD and Plurality including those two topics. She had specifically been reading a book called "The Body Keeps The Score" (TW it is a book about trauma and studies of trauma so it has details of case studies that some people may find incredibly triggering). I did some research on what exactly the book was talking about in regards to "systemhood" and from what I've found, chapter 14 at the end of a section called "Writing to yourself" and the first parts of chapter 17 have interesting information regarding systemhood and how its not entirely limited to things that are diagnosable like DID or OSDD. It seems to talk about how we all have several selves and trauma can get in the way of those selves communicating effectively. My therapist told me about this book and what she learned from it and apologized to me because the book made her realize that she was wrong and that I was in fact a system....

The session ended and I just kind of sat there... not sure how to feel but definitely feeling relief and validation.

After doing research on the book to write this I have some words of wisdom. If you are a questioning system or are doubting your validity remember this: The human brain is so incredibly complex and no one actually understands how it does anything beyond its basic physical functionality... the conceptual abilities of our mind are a mystery. How we define self is just theory. If you don't fit into boxes, labels, identities, or diagnoses that does not mean your experiences aren't real. You are going to be ok. Understand YOUR mind and how it works for YOU, not through a label or diagnosis. If those things come later, great! Do not let them destroy you just because you don’t fit perfectly. I am a system. Simply. No types, labels, or diagnosis. I am a system. I have a unique experience because my brain is no one elses. I am a system. I may not have people in my head in the traditional sense but I'm also not alone up here either. I am a system. I am a system. I am a system. Nobody has the right to deny me this for they do not live behind my eyes.

As I understand myself: I am a system.

[bedoballoons]

Could I request Kaveh, Alhaitham, Neuvilette and Kaeya getting called beautiful by their s/o?

Aaawe beautiful boys. Thank you so much for your request and I hope you enjoy <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂

{༻~Beautiful~༺}

CW: Super sweet and fluffy!

(Includes: Kaveh, Alhaitham, Neuvillette, and Kaeya!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Kaveh:

Your chin rested in the palm of your hand as you watched Kaveh sketch away, a single strand of blonde hair swaying in front of his vision ever so often and...he just seemed so...in the moment. You just couldn't keep it to yourself, it left your lips before you could even think of a way to stop it, "You're so beautiful Kaveh."

His pencil stopped in place as he looked at you, his cheeks dusted with a light blush, "What...what did you say?"

"You're beautiful...so absolutely, wonderfully, beautiful..."

"I...I...thank you..."

𑁍༄Alhaitham:

You looked up at Alhaitham, watching as he read aloud to you while you lazily laid on him and forgot every word of the story only moments after he said it, it couldn't be helped that he was far more interesting than the book. Especially now, with the way his fingers flipped the pages and the light hit his skin so perfectly...he almost looked unreal..., "Alhaitham...you look beautiful."

His eyes left the written words so he could look at you with a puzzled expression, "I'm just reading, you see me do this everyday."

"Yes and everyday you look beautiful...and right now it's especially noticeable."

"...I suppose it goes without saying then that I also find you beautiful."

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

"Yes thank you. Oh before you go could you take these papers to the dukes carrier, I need them signed and dated. Make sure to send a box of tea for him as well and alert Miss Clorinde of her possible opponent, make sure she's prepared for battle and..."

You zoned out as you watched Neuvillette work, taking in his busy nature and noticing quickly how he seemed to be constantly multitasking, how he could manage four different topics at once and leave you feeling awestruck. He was incredible and even as he busied himself with tasks..he just made your heart race and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"So beautiful"

"What did you say dear?"

"Just falling in love with you more every second and calling you beautiful while you focus on other things."

"I...my goodness. You flatter me I swear."

𑁍༄Kaeya:

"So what if I do call you beautiful....while you're about to find some juicy information on the fatui I just lean in and whisper it into your ear. What would you do?" You smiled at Kaeya teasingly, feeling your cheeks heat up at the thought...in all honesty he was always goregous in your eyes and right now you couldn't stop thinking it, he could leave you flustered just by winking at you.

"My my...I guess I'd just have to come up with a way to call you it back, time it just right so you'd get all blushed and cute. It's only fair after all."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[starrysnowdrop]

Heyo! So I happened to see your recent ask response regarding Zenos randomly, and, honestly, I'm kind of curious on what people miss about his character! I'm not a personal big fan of him(ngl he kind of creeped me out with his, projecting himself on the wol it felt like? Note I say that as a WHM main who plays as truly heroic WoL(s) most of the time admittedly, so most of his stuff made me go no? alot XD I don't mind people who do like him tho! They're cool!), but I'm interested in understanding him better if possible, cause I know I miss things that others don't and I don't think I've seen anyone explain his intricacies without being somewhat rude about it, but you explained what you did without coming off as that. So I'm kind of curious on that essay you almost wrote if you'd be alright writing it XD (Sorry for being on anon, I am, very shy qwq)

In case you’re not familiar with what this anon is asking about, this is in response to my answer to this ask HERE. Feel free to go read that one and come back!

So, I first want to say thank you for being brave enough to reach out to me about this, even on anon!! I’m really glad that you didn’t find my comments to be rude, as that is the very last thing that I would want! If anyone did find me too abrasive in my previous post above, then I wholeheartedly apologize for that. I would never want anyone to be afraid to reach out to me because I came off as rude at some point, so I appreciate you letting me know that you didn’t think I was. 💖

Alright, now let’s get to the topic at hand: Zenos, and why I truly think that he is the most misunderstood character in FFXIV.

Zenos: The Most Misunderstood Character in FFXIV

((I wrote way too much, so it’s under the cut.))

Alright, so let’s start with what I have seen as the popular take on Zenos that I see as wrong: A lot of players see Zenos as a one dimensional character that has no depth, and doesn’t have a character arc in which he grows as a character. They see him as the annoying antagonist who has a battle boner for the WoL and that’s it. They only see his bloodlust and nothing else. They don’t think there is anything else to him, and that’s where I must strongly disagree.

So, how is he not a one dimensional character? Well, that’s because he really is a complex character, but you need to be paying close attention to what Zenos is actually saying and what his actions are throughout the story.

One can piece together Zenos’ complexity purely from watching the cutscenes, but just in case anyone is curious about going into more depth on his backstory, then I highly recommend that you go read his side story from the Chronicles of Light book entitled “The Hunt Begins”. It shows how Zenos was raised, and it reinforces why he thinks the way that he does.

Without going into his backstory too much, for brevity's sake, Zenos is actually a prodigy, someone who was born with not only incredible strength, but also incredible intelligence, and you know what happens when gifted kids don't get enough of a challenge? Yup, they get easily bored. So keep that in mind as we move along. Now, mix that boredom with a good dose of Anhedonia, or the inability to experience pleasure or joy. Now we aren't sure if he was born with Anhedonia, or if he acquired it through some mental health condition, such as PTSD, depression, etc. I'm no psychologist whatsoever, so I'm not here to diagnose Zenos with any particular disorder, but it is clear that he suffers from the lack of feeling joy or pleasure in his life.

This is actually what characterizes Zenos the most when we first are introduced to him in 4.0; he is suffering from Anhedonia AND Ennui, which according to Webster's Dictionary, is not just a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction, but its a profound sense of boredom that arises from feeling jaded with one's life.

Zenos is suffering from a lack of joy and pleasure in his life, seeing the world as meaningless and dull, and he has found only one sole pleasure in all of it: The Hunt*. But what he means by The Hunt, is that he wants to fight the most challenging foes, challenging enough that he must put his all into the battle and be pushed to the brink of death. Only this kind of challenging battle will give him any sense of joy at all. For him at this point, there has been nothing else which has brought him joy, so he seeks out this sole pleasure.

And THAT is what Zenos' motivation is. He is not mindless in his pursuit of battle. His bloodlust stems from the desire to feel some kind of happiness at all, and unlike what some might think, not any foe will do. Zenos does not fight mindlessly against anyone at any time. That is not true. If an enemy is no threat to him, unless they purposely get in his way, he will not fight them.

This is true from the first time you see Zenos on the battlefield. At Rhalgr's Reach, Zenos sought out only the strongest fighters there, and two of them (Lyse and Y'shtola) got in his way first, and he defeated them easily. When he fights the WoL, the one who he has heard so much about, and definitely the strongest opponent among them, he becomes curious and hopes that we will give him what he wants. But in that first battle with him, he swats the WoL away like a fly, and they pose no challenge to him at all, to which he calls them "Pathetic", and then he immediately leaves, ultimately disappointed.

Note that Zenos had every opportunity to kill Lyse, Y���shtola, and the WoL if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He leaves them alone after he defeats them. That’s not the sign of someone who is so sadistic that he’s only out for blood. The fact of the matter here is that Zenos is trying to feel something from battle, something that he has never experienced before: pure joy.

Zenos doesn’t experience this joy until he fights the WoL again several times; first he gets just a hint of it, a tiny spark, when the WoL breaks a piece of his helmet off, and he feels it even more later on when Zenos fights the WoL in the Ala Mhigan throne room. This is when Zenos goes into his monologue before he releases and takes over Shinryu, and note that the joy and pleasure he is describing seems to have a sexual tone to it, which I promise I have a point to make about that in a bit.

After the battle with Zenos as Shinryu, he finally feels the joy that he has never felt in his entire life, and because he doesn’t think he’ll ever feel anything like it ever again, Zenos takes his own life, happy to have played a bit part in the story of his “first friend”.

But as we know, Zenos doesn’t stay dead. He finds himself alive once more, and he has a singular goal: to feel that pure bliss, that overwhelming joy that he felt when he fought the WoL in the Royal Menagerie in Ala Mhigo. From ShB through EW, Zenos’ goal doesn’t change, but he does change in his understanding of what it means to have a “friend” and how he can feel happiness.

During EW, Zenos has several scenes where his understanding of his feelings seems to grow, and though that sexual tone to his descriptions of what he’s feeling towards his battle with the WoL is still there, I would argue that over time, it seems to have more and more of a romantic tone to it as well. And with this shift in his tone when describing his feelings, he also seems to question his understanding of it all.

Zenos’ character growth is the whole point of two very important scenes: the Scions and Jullus encountering Zenos in Garlemald while fighting the blasphemies, and later when Zenos goes to the Royal Menagerie alone. The first of these scenes reinforces the themes of EW with Zenos’ philosophy of life, but it is also the first time that someone says something that makes Zenos question his beliefs.

Alisaie’s words to Zenos hit him hard, and Zenos goes back to the Royal Menagerie, to the scene of where he had his one transcendent moment, his one time in his life when he felt joy, pleasure, and happiness. He realizes in this moment that, whatever you believe Zenos’ true feelings are for the WoL, which I personally argue that it is love that he feels for them, but regardless, Zenos cannot continue to be selfish and only think about his own wants and desires. He must act selflessly, and assist in the WoL’s battle against the Endsinger and stop the Final Days, in order for the WoL to give him what he wants in return. He finally realizes that it’s this give and take, this reciprocation between people, is the key to building bonds with others… Zenos finally learns what it is to be a “friend” to someone. After this moment, Zenos goes to Sharlayan to find a way to help out the WoL in their mission to save the star, and to finally be a friend to them.

And you know what that is? That’s growth. That’s having a character arc. That’s Zenos in all of his complexity. Which I still say that it’s perfectly fine to not like his character, but I only wish that people would not like him with a clear understanding of what he really is, and not what others think he is.

Alright, I think I have blabbed on long enough, but I hope that I have answered your question anon! If you need me to clarify anything further, please don’t hesitate to ask me! Thank you so much for your ask anon, and thank you to all who have read this! 💖

[ceilidho]

Me: I don't like fauxcest so I'll avoid the tag/ block any accounts.

Also me: I want a daddy Dom who's really big on being a prodiver, probably got daddy issues himself, is an older man and financially secure. Makes sure I'm fed, well dressed and happy. Maybe even makes me live with him so he can just freeuse me and have something to look after because he just really wants to-

Like. I know it ain't the same but everyday it feels like it's borderline treading into that territory and idk if I can face myself or have the strength to accept that about myself. Like I use to be a puritan prude in my youth so the fact I ended up with a daddy kink would make my teen self disgusted. But ya know, shit happens.

I probably won't ever pass over that territory as I do get icked out by the idea of referring to a sexual partner as 'dad' or anything like that. So it's clearly not for me but I need some people to look at themselves TRUELY look at the stuff they're into or want in a partner coz probably like me, they are one kink/good fic/wild fantasy away from the "gross icky kinks!!" They wanna ban so much

Ever since I became an adult and started exploring what I like, letting myself read fics I was like "I'm not gonna like this but I'm desperate for content" and then come out of a changed person - I do start caring less. Do I still have my own opinions and icks and such? Yeah but like, the best thing about the Internet is that you can just block tags, block people or images that don't agree with you. Keep to your bubble of people who agree with you and such, but like, if you're not atleast aware or open to the fact your views may be hypercritical or even abit weird or taboo yourself - that's just destined to fail.

I think a lot of people can't separate identity from interests either, or they feel incredibly locked in with their identity.

like, you're allowed to find things gross, block them, or enjoy reading certain topics but only to an extent (like you won't allow yourself to enjoy anything beyond your limit because you're scared about what you'll uncover about yourself). it's also fine to one day come back to those same things and reevaluate your original opinion.

I'm not sure how to describe this but I feel like a lot of people have this tendency to equate any Thing they enjoy with subsuming that thing into their personality/identity, and if you think that way, then obviously any potential interest seems like a Threat to the persona/identity you've been meticulously building your entire life. which is terrifying! i do understand that there's a large group of people that probably equate reading/enjoying any content that's remotely dark to a real life want.

I personally think the most generous thing you can do for yourself is say "okay, I enjoyed that. it doesn't have to mean anything." you can read the kinkiest erotica ever and then go on to enjoy a vanilla sex life (or no sex life! tons of asexual people enjoy erotica). it simply doesn't have to be a big deal.

and this is also not saying you have to enjoy or force yourself to enjoy content that disgusts you. the brain is just complex. if you're living life in a way that is compassionate and avoids causing harm to other people, but some of your interests/kinks tend to veer towards the dark/taboo, just give yourself the grace to realize that an interest is not this Big, Horrible thing that'll destroy you and turn you into something monstrous.

[nrdmssgs]

Little things, they do 2 (Price, Ghost, Gaz) (headcannons)

Masterlist

Part 1 (Alex, Soap, König) here

Little things, they do, that get you every time. Silly, warm, heart-melting, wholesome things.

Captain John Price

Knuckle kisses. That's it.

Praises you not only when you succeed, but also when you fail. “I know, you tried so hard, love. This doesn't make you lesser. You don't have to prove anything to me. I'm proud of you. You're enough.”

Compliments you at the most random times. You've just woken up with an absolute mess on your head, or you walk around the house in old faded sweatpants and a dirty T-shirt because the rest of the clothes are being washed? John takes your hand, brings it to his lips and whispers "You are incredibly beautiful." or “How did an old git like me ended up with the most gorgeous, hottest  human being out there?”

He has this habit of going behind your back and leaning close to your very ear while telling you something. Maybe he just likes to feel you close and uses it as an excuse, maybe he wants to “envelop” you in a way, hide you from the whole world, sharing his knowledge, feeling, how interested you are in a topic.

One of those people to actually use paper and envelopes, that some hotel still provide their rooms with. You get these long 3-5 page letters from different corners of earth every now and then. They can be absolutely platonic - he can literally describe, what he's seen or overheard on the streets lately or rant about how he wants to hear seabirds voices, but they are interrupted by the unceasing roar of engines and roadworks here… But you see it: every line screams “I love you. I freaking love you so much, it's almost 4 am here, and I'm still wide awake, because I need to write to you, to communicate in any way that will be safe for you.” 

Simon Ghost Riley

He is no stranger to triggered stress or panic. So if you have any phobia, and he finds out about it - he starts protecting you from its triggers. Let's say, you're scared of spiders and scorpions. Even a picture of one can absolutely freak you out. Simon goes above and beyond to shield you from any type of appearance of these creatures in your life. In summer, he'll escort and even tiniest spider out of your apartment, before you see it.

He even shares a googledoc with trigger warning time codes for every piece of media, you wanted to see. Even if it's a long series - he just checks every episode of it on a fast rewind and writes you, if it's fully safe to watch or not. 

Ghost has a wealth of experience in dealing with insomnia and is willing to help you, if you come across this issue. Just don't hesitate to ask - he is ready to spend all the night helping you out. Will definitely start with pressing your back to his chest and guiding you through a breathing exercise.

If you had a bad day and dropped him a message - he`d surely call you as soon as he can to talk you through everything that happened and soothe you. 

“I`m always there for you, you know?” “I know, Simon…” “No, thats not the way, we do that.” “...” “Come on. Say it.” “I remember, ok?” “Say. it. I need you say it out loud.” “You are always there for me, no matter what.” “And?” “... and I can call or text you any time and you'll reach back asap.” “Good job. I'll call you again before you go to sleep.”

Despite his ascetic way of life, he likes nice things and gradually accustoms you to the same preferences. 

It all starts with tea. One day, you go grocery shopping together. You walk between the rows of shelves while Simon stays by your cart. Returning to the cart, you find him skeptically examining the box of tea you dropped into the cart earlier. "What is this?" "It's tea, Simon, stop pretending you can't read." Ghosts gaze eloquently demonstrates his attitude towards this product. "It's trash." He pulls out a simple but elegant box from the top shelf. "This is tea." You try to convince him that with the money spent on that "good" box, you could drink tea all year, but he is relentless. Simon ends up buying the tea himself and brewing it at your place. When you first try it and roll your eyes in pleasure - he smiles contentedly. “Told you.”

Kyle Gaz Garrick

“Babe this is delicious, wanna try it?” - say yes and firstly he will kiss you. You absolutely need to try that ice cream, his tongue is just a nice bonus. Ofc shares his food with you afterward.

One of the most supportive human beings out there. Encourages every your hobby, hella proud of you and not shy to demonstrate it. “Have you heard her singing? RNs got a voice of a songbird!” “Kyle, please, I just went to a few vocal lessons and learned like… 2 songs.” “Those are my favorite ones from now on, love.”

If you work from home, he'll walk into your room randomly (but only when he is 100% sure, you're not on the call), sit beside you and just stare silently at you. Ask him, what's up, and he'll give you a quick kiss on the forehead and walk away grinning. 

Slow dances with you on streets, when you two pass by street musicians. Doesn't care if everybody looking, even if someone pulls out a phone and starts filming this wholesome scene. It's only you in Kyles hands, that matter right now to him. 

If you have a pet - he definitely becomes its new dad. When Kyle is around - your four-legged friend absolutely forgets about your existence, because Gaz is an expert in best scratches!

By the way, your pets birthday is now Kyles official holiday!

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi, Im not sure if youve written anything about this before (I had a quick look but couldnt see anything), but I find Hermione's relationship with her parents kinda interesting. Obviously they're pretty chill with her being a witch — they go to diagon with her at least once and seem quite interested in that sort of thing, they're obviously very proud of her — but by about gof and ootf theyre completely absent from her life. Hermione doesnt seem to go home during that summer holiday and seems to spend the rest with the Weasleys which I find incredibly odd. Her parents were obviously not abusive, nor were they in any sort of danger until dh when Hermione goes on the run (and of course she oblivates them and moves them to Australia first). Voldemort doesnt even make any attacks until hbp because hes lying low. I just cant think why shes suddenly estranged from her parents to the point where they allow their only teenage daughter, who already spends majority of her time in Scotland, to spend her holidays with a family thats already financially struggling?? Surely no actual parent would do that. Of course it could be lazy writing by JK or the rising popularity of Hermione after directorial choices in the films which called for more page-time, but Id be very interested to hear your opinions on the topic because for the life of me I can't figure this out.

(sorry for the long ask)

Hi, no problem about the long ask.

I think Hermione's parents are probably one of the things JKR didn't think through, but I like looking at things like that froma an in universe prespective. And in universe the relationship between Hermione and her parents, while not abusive, has been estranged from day 0.

What I mean by it, is that I don't think Hermione was ever very close to her parents. We see how a muggleborn who is close to his parents acts with Colin Creevey:

“So I can prove I’ve met you,” said Colin Creevey eagerly, edging further forward. “I know all about you. Everyone’s told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you’ve still got a lightning scar on your forehead” (his eyes raked Harry’s hairline) “and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures’ll move.” Colin drew a great shuddering breath of excitement and said, “It’s amazing here, isn’t it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad’s a milkman, he couldn’t believe it either. So I’m taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it’d be really good if I had one of you” — he looked imploringly at Harry

(CoS)

He tries to keep his muggle parents up to date with his life in the wizarding world. He brought a camera explicitly for that purpose. Hermione, on the other hand, never really included her parents in her life. They try to be supportive, they go with her to Diagon, but I'm convinced they know very little of what's going on at Hogwarts with their daughter.

I mean, she probably tells them about her high grades and about Harry and Ron, but she probably never told them about Voldemort, or at least, not much. Or about the bigotry she has to deal with as a muggleborn. I'm also pretty sure she didn't tell them how dangerous Hogwarts is or that she got petrified in 2nd year. I mean, I don't know about you, but if my daughter told me everything that happened to Hermione, I would start asking about alternative magical education that isn't Hogwarts.

I think Hermione was always a lonely child, her parents were likely at work or conventions more often than with her and she is used to hiding things from them. Hermione 100% used to be bullied in her muggle primary school, you see it in how she acts, and I think she didn't tell her parents about that either. So Hermione and her parents were never close in my opinion.

And then, you take this girl who is used to hiding the less pleasant aspects of her life from her parents and send her to the wizarding world. And she's smart, she quickly realizes no one wants to hear about dentists and that she doesn't belong. So she shuts up, she stops bringing her parents up since everyone thinks surgeons are just maniacs who cut into people. So she reads up, she studies everything she can so she would belong, because she never found herself in the muggle world and she loves magic. She loves the wizarding world and chooses to be part of it, even at the price of cutting her parents out of her life.

In first year, Hermione goes back home for Christmas, but from year 2 and onwards she stays at Hogwarts becouse she doesn't want to miss out in that year's mystery, or time with Ron and Harry. She, like Harry, doesn't want to leave the wizarding world for a world they consider worse.

And the fact she does her best to spend more and more time in the wizarding world is an extension of that. It's not that she hates her parents, she loves them, but she loves them less than she loves the wizarding world.

I think, the moment in book 4 in which she took the chance to fix her teeth magically against what her dentist parents would think is right, is a moment that shows that clear choice. Mr. and Mrs. Granger clearly care about Hermione and want what's best for her, but Hermione thinks she is better than them because she is a witch. She treats her parents like children who don't know what's good for them. She knows because she's a witch, so she can send them away for their safety. They might think using magic on her teeth is dangerous, but they're muggles they don't know better. Even Hermione falls into this prevalent mindset among wizards that they know better than muggles.

The Creevy brothers wanted to keep both the wizarding world and their parents. Hermione chose the wizarding world. She figured that if she truly wanted to belong and be up to date with everything, months in the muggle world would make this assimilation harder, so she stayed in the wizarding world. And when the time comes to make a hard decision to Obliviate her parents and send them away, it is easier to rationalize. She hasn't been part of their life for so long anyway, they would hardly notice the difference, besides, she's the witch, she's the one in the know, not them.

It's quite sad, but it's a result of Hermione's decision to assimilate into the wizarding world as if she was always there which is, I think, influenced by the bigotry that is everywhere. I mean, even the Weasleys look down on muggles:

“Are they doctors?” he [Harry] asked Ron quietly. “Doctors?” said Ron, looking startled. “Those Muggle nutters that cut people up? Nah, they’re Healers.”

(OotP)

So, yeah, Hermione chose to be a witch, and to her, that means cutting her parents she was never too close to out of her life.

[arty-holly]

I caught up with the bllk manga and it is a 5 course meal with the way it is serving rn.

Rin's moment came and it is mind blowingly perfect. I could’nt ask for more and there are so many delicious details it's terrific.

The title of this chapter is very interesting to me for reasons. Because Rin as a character is shown to be connected with death and suicide. Infact his 1st character defining line is " Soccer is a battle to the death". Later we find the seed of this thinking in little Rin. He's a weirdo who flings himself at pigeons at toy blocks and a completely opposite mentality to the other kids. The ultimate monster who fights someone stronger, gives his all, and then dies is incredibly cool to him. He hopes to be someone like him in the future . So is it really coincidence if the title of his chapter has a clever wordplay with a famous author who was also suicidal and who wrote a book called " No longer human"?

Now Dazai Osamu was an remarkable author and coincidentally (those who watched Bsd will know) he strived to do double suicides with the women he was in love with. So is it really coincidence that the words that comes out of Isagi’s mouth are " I'll die with you!"? Are you all seeing the romantic connotations here guys?👀

Moving on, just the general remarkable-ness of these recent chapters is blowing my mind.

To see Isagi, the master adapter, arguably the best person in Blue lock who can analyze others to perfection floundering at the anomaly that is Itoshi Rin is so great. This is the first and only time Isagi has been unable to decipher the thought process of another person to this extent. It's gonna make the time when he does get through Rin so much more satisfying. 💚

And its too sad that Rin is so chained in by his feelings that he can't kick a goal his teammates would kill to have because of his own mind( bro needs a therapist fr). It's so baffling to others watching from the outside, but to Rin, it makes perfect sense. It's the way he's almost begging for someone to come, someone to break in and-

The image of Isagi literally swiping away Sae’s phantom, almost reassuring him that he's here, he's real is too beautiful. When Rin is about to lose everything, Isagi is the one who is there. I'm pretty sure Loki would've benched Rin if he threw away a goal again, so Isagi is the reason Rin is still playing in this match. Just the visual framing in this panel is too good.

Do I need to say more?

The way Isagi's eyes look so bright as if he's giving hope to Rin. Rin's EXPRESSION 😭(All we need are some flower petals)

Tell me this isn't poetic beauty, come in my face and tell me this isn't the epitome of romance.

Regardless if it is romantic or platonic, I still adore the way they're written into each other’s arcs. I wasn't the one to notice this, but if Isagi had collided into Rin and Rin had not scored, Isagi would've been red-carded instead of being let off with a yellow card. ( His head was definitely not all there in this moment)Isagi Yoichi, thank your stars your lover is a genius , bro would've been cooked otherwise.

And at the end,

We see the old Rin again, finally enjoying the game he worked his entire life for. (Off topic, but he looks so cute and gorgeous here) and the catalyst for that is none other than our protagonist.

Isagi is the light that brings hope to Rin and Rin is the centre, the ideal for Isagi’s growth. They saved each other.

All of NEL hasn't been exactly amazing but Kaneshiro's writing peaked in these chapters. There is so much said in every panel, so much emotion expressed in each drawing, It's incredible.

[thequietkid-moonie]

okay, i have no idea why it took me so long to request this BUT... kokichi, nagito, kazuichi, 9S, 2B and A2 with an autistic s/o (or just neurodivergent in general <3)

i hope you're having a lovely morning, day, evening or night moonie! you're great and i'm looking forward to reading this hehe <3

Autistic S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Kokichi, Nagito, Kazuichi, 9S, 2B, A2 ]

[ Killing Harmony ] [ Goodbye Despair ] [ NieR Automata ]

Thank you for requesting this V-chaaaan!!! Is been so loooong since last time i wrote for autistic reader and this was totally amazing to write!!

I was a little nervous since I didn't knew if I was writing it right but at the end I think i made a good job! Besides, i been trying to left behind all the masking and try to just be autistic so this is comforting!

Kokichi Ouma

Once someone catch Kokichi's attention the he will become clingy and incredibly curious about that person, his main reason was to get to know with what he could mess with you, that is how he find out you are autistic even before you get to tell him, and even if at first he just tries to find ways to mess with you by it as he grows to care more for you he becomes more respectful

Kokichi doesn't see anything bad on you being autistic, is the way you have born and is who you are and there is nothing wrong with it, he would call you silly if you ever feel bad about being or doing what you need to feel comfortable (besides, he doesn't want show you how much it hurt him seeing you upset by you just being you when he completely loves it). He is more than ready to step in to defend you if someone dares to say something bad about you for being you, and if someone is bold enough to call you a burden for being autistic then that person will be his new and only target for a while (he will even ask Gonta's help since Gonta is willing to protect his friends too)

Kokichi does want to know more about your autism since for everyone affects and is expressed their own ways, besides he loves learning more about you, so he will just follow you around wherever you go and ask you a lot of things (he is too curious to don't do it, but if you feel overwhelmed or like he is inviding your personal space he will stop, brushing it off with a joke of course, but will apologize when you two are alone, specially if he had upset you) he may joke about your behavior or about the way you do things but he doesn't mean to hurt you, is just his normal self and he tries to don't come up with harmful jokes

One of the biggest desire of Kokichi is to be seen as funny for others, he doesn't want to be seen as boring, and adding that he likes playing pranks is safe to say that he will pull pranks on you and joke a lot with you, however he does take in consideration your autism when thinking on the pranks or the jokes, making sure is something won't trigger you nor overwhelme you, as well that is something you can easily understand (in case you have troubles understanding certain things), he actually has a lot of fun while thinking on what jokes and pranks he can do to you but will deny it and feel incredibly embarrassed if someone ever find out, even if someone point it out as a posibility he immediatly gets on the defensive due the embarrassment (even if is you)

Kokichi grows to be quite protective over you, specially when you are more sensitive, he just hate seeing you in pain or bothered by something (and if you tent to stim in harmful ways that trigger something inside of him), still he tries to go around the topic and help you indirectly, be by distracting you or making you to only focus on him, or going against others if they had triggered you

He like hearing you talk about your special interests, he may don't remember everything you had told him because he sometimes gets easily distracted but he does remember the most important parts (or the ones that are definetly your favorites), and you can see it reflected on some of the jokes he says where he mention something you had told him about your special interest

He would think is a little silly having comfort item or even stim toys actually he is just jealous but at the same time he assure you that is completely fine, if you want them then why don't having them? He doesn't let anyone touch them or even glance at them unless he knows they have your permission (and ask like a million of times if you are sure), and he normally doesn't touch them unless he has your permision or just can't resist (over time he will learn how important they are for you and learn to don't hide them as a prank)

Nagito Komaeda

Is painfully obvious when Nagito is in love, he wants to be with you at all times (even when he sees himself as nothing more than trash and a burden), and he will pay a lot of attention to you, wanting to learn about you or just appreciate you, so even if you don't tell him about it, even before start dating, he would notice that there is something off about you (not that he find it as being bad, he just noticed)

If you decide to tell him that you are autistic he will accept it right away, telling you that nothing could make him think less of you nor love you less, he will want to know more (and even ask your permission before asking for more details), this is obviously something important for you, it affects the way you percive the world after all. Even so, if you prefer to keep it as a secret Nagito will notice the little hints of thing you like, dislike or even do, he won't confront you about it but will take mental notes about it (even when he feels like invading your privacy by doing it)

Honestly, Nagito doesn't see anything bad on your disability (not that he would ever see anything bad on you), he just thinks is something that makes you way more special and hopeful, you don't see the worlds like other and had to live in a world that isn't made with your needs in mind (sadly, he actually hates it) and that makes you even more hopeful in his eyes

Even when Nagito is really clingy and needy you will be his top priority, so he will pay close attention and hesitantly ask if you have special need that he should have in consideration, he is willing to change his whole life just to fit on what is best for you, is the least he can do and only hopes that trash like him can help you with whatever you need (that is what he insist on), besides he hates seeing you upset and if he can do something to help you out he won't even doubt on doing whatever he can for you

Nagito is touch starved and will be lying if he says that he won't like to be close to you, however he doesn't seem himself as worthy and thinks that he may just bother you, so he just let you touch him whenever you want, and however you want, if you want a hug or hold his hand is okay, as well he is always up for you to stim with him, play with his hands or hair all you want he doesn't mind (actually he feels completely flustered and honored, it brings him so much joy, although he insisted on apologizing for you having to touch or be around trash like him at first)

If you sometimes don't do simple things like eating or drinking water, wearing warm clothes when its cold or even getting hurt without noticing just because you just didn't felt it or just forgot is something that will worry him way too much, he wants you to be healthy and happy (and he is scare of losing you), so in this case he will make his personal goal to take care of you, however it would be really dificult for him to get used to do it because trash like him shouldn't tell you what to do, but he tries to remind himself that is for your own good

With time he will learn to identify how you express yourself, whenever you are happy (if you happy stim he will start doing it with you at some point, but will apologize profusely for doing it the first time) or whenever you are feeling sad or annoyed, he tries his hardest to help you avoid things you hate or hurt, still there is the posibility of you feeling overwhelmed, he would panic the first time but quickly tries to help you (remembering all he knows so far about you), he will get better at helping over time, and even if the first times he made a good job he will apologize for not being of help

As well, Nagito is completely respectful of you and your things, if you have comforting things, stiming toys or anything that can help you he treats those things with the say gentleness he treats you (however, he wont dare to touch those things unless you give him your explicit permission, and still he will feel hesitant of holding them at first, fearing that his luck will act and make him broke them or something)

Kazuichi Soda

Kazuichi tent to be blinded by his love, once he falls in love he start to seeing the person he likes as perfect and won't hear anyone saying that there is something wrong with that person, that is why even if he ever start noticing the hints of your autism he probably just won't think much of it

You have to tell him directly and with sincerity that you are autistic and that there are certain things you don't tolerate, otherwise it would take him a long time to notice (even when he notice whenever you feel upsed, he would just not fully understand), and even if you ask him to be a little less intense or there are things about him that overwhelmed you he will be grateful that you tell him now rather than just suffering in silence, it take him a moment to fully process the information but at the end he knows this is for your comfort and healthy so he has no problem on having to adapt himself to you

Kazuichi will actually have a hard time understanding that you have autism and actually remembering that there are certain things he should change or just do, he is quite clingy, touchy and loud so he probably bring you some troubles, still he does apologize everytime he sees that he had made you uncomfortable (for what he hates himself) and always promise to don't do it again, wich he always tries, in the other hand if you don't mind that part of him or even liked it that will make him feel so much joy and will even be proud of himself (but will lead him to be a little more intense for a while)

It has never been a secret how much Kazuichi loves you, and loves everything about you, so your autism will only increase the little quirks of you that he loves, your good hearing or the way you always notice little details, how diferent things bring you diferent sensations or even that there are things you prefer to avoid, everything makes you even more beautiful and special in his eyes! He has no problem on helping you avoid what it hurts and surround yourself with comforting and good things!

As well, he is quite protective over you, so he doesn't want to protect you only of your surroundings but also of people, he doesn't let anyone say anything bad about your autism, he won't be the type to jump into the fight but if someone dares to ofend you that person won't heard the end of it. As well, Kazuichi won't really be the best when it comes to comforting but he is fully focused on helping you feel well again whenever you feel the slighest upsed, he goes from reminding you how beautiful and special you are to bringing you anything that can comfort you (items, food, something related to your special interest, anything he can think on), it may be a little exaggerated but intention is what counts

Kazuichi is mesmerized by your voice, so he will be more than happy to heard you talk about your special interest, he may get confused sometimes with so much infomation and ask a few times if you can repeat yourself but he is trying his best to actually learn what are you talking about (although, there are some times where he gets completely quiet because he is lost and don't understand what are you talking about at all, but he always apologize for it). As well, he won't dare to ask you for it but he it will bring him way too much joy if you are willing to heard him rant about what he likes or what he is working on too

His workshop can be either an interesting place or a complete nightmare, with all the stimuli that are there, from visual to auditory and even olfactory, he loves your company and if you were willing to stay with him while he works then he will be more than happy, but if his workshop is something that makes you uncomfortable he will profusely apologize before taking you away from there, he even promise to make it up for you (he gets into the habit of cleaning himself before seeing you after working, although he is a little messy while cleaning himself because he wants to rush and see you right away)

9S

9S can't just hold back himself, even when feelings are forbidden for a YoRHa Unit he just can't not feel (and express himself, he has no problem with speaking his heart out), and even if at first it was more curiosity and his duty it didn't take him long to fall in love with you

9S is a really curious android, he likes learning all he can about the world and the humans, so even before finding you he already knew quite a lot about humans, thanks to that (and for being really observant) it wont take him long to realice that, in fact you aren't as how the common humans are, what, honestly, just lead him to be more curious

At first your autism was something that make him feel really curious, but the more got to learn about it and how it affects you the more he start to love it, he sometimes feels bad about loving your disability the way he does (mainly when you feel upset or even overwhelmed) but he just can't help it, for him is like something that just makes you a million times more special, what sometimes lead him to feel a little flustered since you love him too

9S will be so curious about your autism that is more probably that he will try to ask you about it since the start, he will be a little messy and overexcited with his questions but will apologize when he realice what he is doing, reasuring you that you don't have to answer all his questions. After the initial excitement 9S will choose to be more calm and learn by watching you rather than asking (unless you don't mind), honestly he will never be tired of watching you, every time he get to learn something new about you he feels so much joy and amusment, even if is something small

Something that will make him quite sad is when he gets to learn about the stimuli that brings you discomfort, he thinks the world is quite fascinating and interesting but if there are some things that you can't just tolerate or even hurts it makes him immediatly worry, he can't be at ease when he knows you are upsed (although, he doesn't blame you or get mad in the slighest, he is just genuinely worried about you and won't dare to leave you alone when you are feeling bad, unless you really need to be alone)

9S will always try to create a comfortable and safe space around you, surrounding you with things you aprove as being comforting and not overstimulanting, always make sure to bring you new things that he find on his missions that he thinks you will like or make sure to carry around a comfort item of your safe space whenever you two go out for a walk (or in a little adventure)

If you ever have problems to express yourself or even go non-verbal he won't make a big deal out of it, he may be weird out and worried the first time but over time he just get used to, and every time it happen he is always there to try to help you find the right words or just guess what are you trying to express, you can even invent your own way to express yourself and he will just adapt to it (he actually has a lot of fun trying to help you, he finds it interesting and amusing)

9S grow to have the habit of constantly asking your opinion or put attention to your reaction to diferent things because he loves getting to know how you see the world, he loves hearing you rant about things that catch your attention or just stim to express yourself, he always watch you with a lot of love and care, those moments of peace feels like if in the world only exist you two

Also, 9S grows to love watch you stim so much that he just get used to imitate you, and end up doing it himself, specially when he has to be away for a mision and can't be with you, he just end up doing what you do to stim without even noticing

2B

As much as 2B repeat herself that something like feelings is forbidden for a YoRHa Unit that have never stoped her from actually feeling, and falling in love wouldn't be an exception, even when it take her a while to accept her feelings at the end she started a relationship with you with the silent promise to protect you from anything and everything

2B doesn't know everything about humans, only the data that YoRHa has (and the part that she is allowed to get to know), still she will probably know (or at least suspect) that you aren't exactly like the common humans, she notice the little hints of your autism since the start but decide to don't say anything (and is quickly to shut up pod if they say something about it)

2B is more like a spectator most of the time with you, specially for your condition, she prefers to watch you go around and learn by doing so (besides, she finds quite fascinating just watching you and learning from it, is something so new and yet so beautiful in her eyes), she will learn over time to identify whenever you enjoy or hate something, she learns to identify your reactions and signals and quickly to help you whenever you are feeling upset. YoRHa units have been made to protect humanity, however is her love what lead her to see you as the most precious person in her life and the one she must protect at all cost, you are the bright of her days and her hope, she wouldn't mind perishing in battle if is to protect you

Once knowing that you are autistic she will try to learn more about it, and will even ask 9S if he knows about it, she wants to know as much as she can because is something important in your life (she will ask you too, but it would take her a while since she feels a little bit shy about asking you about it, considering it as something really personal), and, at the end she will make sure to don't forget anything she had learn and always take it in consideration when being with you (or when something is related to you)

2B goes at your rythm and following your lead most of the time, if you want physical affection she will do her best to provide it to you, if you don't want to be touched she will take some distance, if you want to go around she will be by your side, making sure your little trip is safe, if you want to infodump she is all ears, if you just feel like doing nothing she can make you company while doing nothing (honestly, most of the time she just look like some kind of bodyguard but she does it from the bottom of her heart, and will learn to feel more at ease over time, finally actually participate and will start to want more)

2B grows to be a little overprotective over you, she just want to keep you safe and by being human already make her think of you as weak or delicate (mainly for the diference of her being an android and you a human, not because she underestimate you), and your condition only makes her that idea go further, whenever you are feeling specially sensitive she gets anxious, not knowing if it would be alright for her to approach since she doesn't want to cause you any pain

Also, 2B tries her best to provide you with comforting things, she even ask 9S and the androids of the resistance camp for help, she ask that if they find anything that could make you feel more comfortable or at home please let her know

2B will just grow to have the habit of constantly look at you to make sure you are feeling alright and trying to read your body language for any sight of whatever you feel, she is always trying to make you feel comfortable, she doesn't know how it is to be human, let alone how it feels the world the way you feel it, so, at some point she will ask you to please don't doubt on expressing how you feel or if you need something, she will be there to help you at the best of her habilities

Despite everything, one of 2B's favorites things to do is just watch or heard you, the way you express, the way you stim or even just the way your carry yourself around is fascinating to her, is one of the beauties of being alive and is a reminder for her that if you love her then that means she isn't a bad person

A2

Finding a human alive was really surprising and yet that wasn't the only reason why she decided to keep you close to her, she feel worry and care for you since the start so decided to keep you close and help you, the care only grew over time and she realiced that what she felt was love the moment she noticed how you have changed her life, making it brighter and bringing more things to her life aside form the loneliness and sadness

A2 probably won't know about humans as much as the new YoRHa Units, but since she cares for you she pays a lot of attention to you so she will just learn how you are by watching you, and she actually start to grow quite curious over time; once she feel more comfortable with having you around (and finds a way to keep you safe while still killing the machines) then she will try to learn more and maybe even get the courage to ask (what won't be too difficult when you two start dating)

A2 takes her time to get to meet you slowly, asking you little by little about your autism and your curious behavior, she takes time to fully understand what are you telling her about what and how you feel, and everything she get to know makes her feel more curious but also protective over you

A2 is really protective over you, she does regret what happened on her past and have already lost a lot, so she fears losing you too (specially after creating a special bound with you), that is why she feels frustrated about your autism because, as much as she wants there are things that she can't protect you from, stimuli and sensations that makes you feel bad or that even hurt and a full new concept for her, and even when she undestand it she just feels like she can't do anything for you, at the end is that feeling what lead her to actually ask you if there is something she can do for you when you feel overwhelmed or bothered by those things, she will try to do all she can to bring you at least a little bit of comfort

A2 tend to worry a lot when it comes to you, now that you are here with her you are all what she has, and since she let you get close to her now you mean way to much for her, that is way she gets scare whenever you feel hipersensitive or overwhelmed, just by seeing you in distress makes her feel anxious, fearing that someone have tried to attack you, it would take her a long time to get used to this kind of situation, still no matter how much times it pass she always worries a lot. It will also worry her when she saw you stim or go semi-verbal or non-verbal for the first time, she feared that something have happened to you (although, even when she feels scare she keeps the composture, so it may not be obvious)

You end up changing A2's life because she has more to do rather than just go around and kill the machines, now she has to take care of you, and yet he isn't bothered by the slighest, you could fully rely in her and she won't have troubles with be there for you because now you are her new purpose on life (however, she prefers if you don't fully relay on her for everything because it could put you at risk since you two live in a dangerous world). Is more likely A2 just end up bulding some kind of house where you can be comfortable and safe, is not A2's style but now that she has you one of her main purposes is to keep you safe (besides, if changes put you in distress it would be better to avoid them as much as posible)

A2 is really interested on learning about how you see the world and life, you two just probably have diferent ways to see the present (specially since you are human), so A2 tries to motivate you to express yourself all you want, even if she doesn't do it most of the time that shouldn't stop you, even if you do it by meaningless sounds or movements just to stim A2 will just learn that is the way you express yourself and will end up finding it quite mesmerizing

[hacked-by-jake]

I'm especially sad about the AI art statement.

No one ever said they can't use AI in general. Nobody said this. As long as they don't let the chats be written by AI they can use it for whatever they want.

Me personally, I'm a little fan of AI in general. ChatGPT took Googles place in many situations for me. It's super easy, super interesting and faster. I use it instead of reading millions of Google sites. (of course I don't trust everything right away, check your sources, lovelies)

But that's not what I want to say.

I saw no one complaining about the usage of AI in general. As long as its not creating the whole game and especially not what the characters say etc.

The critism was about the usage of AI ART, not AI in general, completely missing the point in my eyes.

And yes, they're right. AI became a huge part of our lives now. We find it everywhere and we won't get rid of it again. That won't happen. For me, it's okay as long as it's not used to generate money by letting it write texts and stuff.

And I'm completely fine with them using it. Of course, it's still stealing and I won't deny that, but as I said, we won't get rid of it again.

But the usage of AI generated Art is wrong and should actually be illegal. They, as a small developer studio, they should know and they do know, how it is when your work gets stolen and used by strangers.

And that's exactly what AI does. And that's not okay. It simply isn't. Every generated art is based on hundreds of real arts our there. The smallest artist who posts their work will be a victim of that. Because AI pulls it's knowledge and the ability for art out of every little art source there is. And that's wrong.

And I'm disappointed about their statement with this point.

And the second statement about AI art...

Yes, it's wonderful that you will introduce new actors to us. Great, amazing. And yes, we do remember how it was in Duskwood. And we do remember that actors were introduced after some time. Hannah joined in the last episode, and this was great.

But the huge difference is, you used stock photos. Real photography. Real designs. Created by photographers or whoever. The point here is: Real human. And real work.

I don’t think I'm the only one. But the first second I saw the profile picture of Ash, immediately I was like "Hm, that reminds me straight up of arcane"

Which is logical when you use AI generated art because the AI of course uses at first the most popular references.

Fact is: We don't support the usage of AI Art in Moonvale.

Question is: Why didn't you use stock photos just like you did before?

Everbytes answer: Yes, okay, we can change their profile pictures. (Point done)

And I mean, come on. Violet has a freaking cat as profile picture. Where was the problem with just using a real cat for that? Nothing easier than finding a good picture of cats! 😭

And if you didn't want to use stock photos. Have you seen how many incredibly talented digital artists your fandom has? Have you seen the insanely good work they created for your game?

How about contacting a few of them? How about asking them to draw the characters you wanted to have? I'm 100% sure you wouldn't even have to pay them for. Most of them would do it for free right away.

Plus: Real art created by real people

Plus two: No money spending.

Yeeey.

And if you don’t want that...., ✨STOCK PHOTOS✨

To be honest, they took a crumb of the criticism, twisted it a bit. Used the word AI, twisted a bit more, left their statement and at the end they gave us a small little victory by saying "They get new profile picture, see we're listening to you". They gave us a little "victory" so that we hopefully will be satisfied and not mention it again.

That's it for this topic. For now

[thetourturedwritersclub]

I've seen ppl do the marauders being teachers and the subjects they would teach. And hers are my 2 cents.

James he would teach PE. Argue with the wall. Also he'd be that one teacher everyone loves bc he cares for the students. All the students who have PE with him would be fit bc James cares so much abt the students health. He would organise basketball, football /soccer and volleyball games between the other classes.

Sirius On the popular belief of Sirius teaching French, I actually think he would teach art. That doesn't mean that I think that he isn't intelligent, I think he's creative and he would rather teaching a subject which requires u to be creative. He would take the kids to art galleries.

Remus to no one's surprise, I think he would teach English /Literature. And he would make it INTERESTING. They'd be studying Romeo and Juliet , the kids would feel like they are in Verona, Italy watching it happen. Also smth that's so precious for me is Remus having movie hrs, watching films that we are adapted into movie form and they would analyse the differences between the two.

Peter I think Peter would teach home Economics. Also he would be that teacher that u either love and appreciate or hate with a burning passion. He would be a shy introverted nature but also funny and tolerant.

Lily she would teach citizenship. Yes she would be that teacher that would make sure u were mindful, empathetic and grateful. She would make sure kids understood everything u need to know abt being a good citizen. She would also organise field trips which would be in parks, town halls etc etc.

Marlene Listen, I think she would be a history teacher. Her compassion loving nature and ability to tell a story give rlly much history teacher vibez. The kids would be hypnotised listening to every word Marlene was speaking abt a revolution or a glorious monarchy.

Mary Now Mary would teach theatre. Say what u want but I'm a Theatre teacher Mary believer. She would take it super seriously and she would teach all of the kids how to act. Also she would analyse the kids chemistry (basically how much chemistry they have with each other) and she would play match maker with that information. She'd be hitting the bullseye everytime.

Dorcas She would be teaching mathematics. Again argue with the wall. She would be that strict teacher with a heart of gold. Also she would check in with every kid to see if they need help and would be that teacher who wouldn't make u feel bad for not understanding something.

Pandora She would teach Chemistry. Why? Idk she just gives off chemist vibez. And she would always take her class to the lab. And instead of assigning projects, she and her class would conduct research on certain topics and try out formulas.

Barty :Barty would teach physics. He is super smart and in my eyes physics is smth that he would find interesting. He would be teaching the kids with practical examples, like dropping stuff when they have to learn abt gravity and ect.

Evan He would teach biology. Argue with the wall. He would love dissecting bodies and the students in his class would be horrified at his excitement. Also he would be such an inspirational and dedicated teacher. He wouldn't be that strict of a teacher but he would keep his class focused.

Regulus He would teach a foreign language like French. He would be so strict and his class would low-key fear him. He wouldn't have that high of expectations and his test wouldn't be that hard. Also he would explain the kids important facts abt French and he would be an incredible teacher. When he would assign classwork he'd go around the class asking if they needed help. Also he'd be that teacher who wouldn't mind answering questions after class.

So yeah that was soo fun! Lmk if u like it or want me to do stuff like this more often! Would you attend this school if you could?

[phoenixyfriend]

VP Kamala Harris is calling for immediate ceasefire in Gaza

I was alerted to this by the BBC Global News podcast. AP News has a full article on the speech itself, which was not held about Israel and Palestine, but was rather focused on domestic issues of race equality, as the speech was given in Selma, Alabama, on the anniversary of Bloody Sunday (a 1965 Civil Rights march that ended in police violence). There is also a Reuters article if you prefer those.

Despite VP Harris's incredible dedication to the topic of combating anti-black racism in the US and position as a figurehead and spokeswoman for many in that regard, she did find time in her speech for the following:

THINGS OF NOTE:

Harris is still, technically, holding to the party line on the topic of 'Israel has a right to defend itself.' At this point, I'm sure we've all seen enough arguments on whether or not that right is something Israel actually has, given its violations of the international laws of occupation, but it does read to me as more lip service than actual sincerity at this point.

Harris puts the onus of agreeing to a ceasefire on Hamas, rather than Israel. Given Netanyahu's months of explicit refusal to consider a ceasefire unless Hamas is completely and utterly destroyed (and with them, Gaza), this is... not great. Not great. She said, "Hamas claims it wants a ceasefire. Well, there is a deal on the table. And as we have said, Hamas needs to agree to that deal. Let’s get a ceasefire. Let’s reunite the hostages with their families. And let’s provide immediate relief to the people of Gaza."

The 'immediate ceasefire' is still just the 6-week pause that Biden has been talking about, rather than a permanent one.

The speech included "The Israeli government must do more to significantly increase the flow of aid. No excuses." This statement is interesting to look at in light of the US recently hitting a watershed moment and beginning airdrops of relief aid, something so inefficient that they were reluctant to engage with it until given no other choice. The preference was trucks, which are more efficient in terms of quantity, fuel usage, risk of damage from wind blowing things off course, etc. The 'no other choice' is in regards to whether or not the trucks could still get in, not in regards to international or domestic pressure, though that was likely a factor as well.

We got what I believe are some of the harshest and most direct criticisms of Israel's actions so far: "What we are seeing every day in Gaza is devastating. We have seen reports of families eating leaves or animal feed. Women giving birth to malnourished babies with little or no medical care, and children dying from malnutrition and dehydration. Our hearts break for the victims of that horrific tragedy and for all the innocent people in Gaza who are suffering from what is clearly a humanitarian catastrophe. People in Gaza are starving. The conditions are inhumane."

These comments are receiving international coverage, though I'm a bit concerned by how... blase and unconcerned Israeli media seems to be, though since this particular journal (Times of Israel) claims to be non-partisan, maybe that's why? That said, Al Jazeera is also calling it a 'rare rebuke,' which I would guess is a good sign for the shifting of DC's position on the subject when combined with the recent aid drops.

As usual, I am not a political expert, I just like to gather and share information; please go to actual experts when trying to understand what politicians' actions mean. I do, however, want you to call your reps. Here's a guide on how to do it.

To support my blogging so I can move out of my parents' house, I do have a ko-fi. Alternately, you can donate to one of the charities I list in this post.

[bonefall]

I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

[imagobin]

Head canons for Zoldyck siblings reactions to sibling reader hinting they will leave the estate one day and then actually leaving and sibling reader was close to them so 🦄🦄

Omg the drama that could come from this fhgkd thank you for your request! Sorry it took a bit :'3 But I really love this, hope you enjoy what I came up with!

🔯Zoldyck Siblings react to you leaving HCs🔯

📍Illumi📍

Illumi's reaction would definitely be the strongest, he loves all his siblings to quite the obsessive level, so if he ever caught you hinting at the mere possibility of leaving he would not like that at all.

Not only because you're a very capable assassin, and losing such a powerful family member wouldn't be good for business, but because he worries of what you'll even do in the outside world. "Why would you want to leave? You have everything you can wish for here... we all care about you, while out there people will just use and betray you. Trust your big brother, it's better if you stay with us."

You do trust him, he always has plenty of good advice to give, but you also want to do your own thing, discover yourself, so you don't let him convince you.

Illumi would start keeping closer attention to you, monitoring your movements so he can catch you if you ever try to leave, and persuade you to change your mind.

But of course, he can't be there constantly to ensure you don't run away from the family, he's got work to do.

You leave while he's on one of his longer missions, and once he comes back and learns you've ran away he is really disappointed, though of course he doesn't show it.

He wonders if he'd be able to bring you back, or if you'll ever come home on your own. He tries calling you over and over, but naturally you don't pick up, you know how Illumi is, you can't risk him finding out where you are, or he'll somehow get there in record time and take you back home.

Predictably, Illumi wants to track you down and get you back, at any cost, you can't just run away like that, it's incredibly immature and will only serve to worry everyone.

---

🎮Milluki🎮

You could be more direct at hinting you wanted to leave when it comes to Milluki. He might be somewhat of a mama's boy, but he knows when to keep his thoughts to himself. He's not really a fan of family drama.

When you asked him if he ever had a desire to explore the outside world and try new things, he'd looked at you as if you were some sort of alien. "Nah, I'm good staying here. I guess if there could be some stuff worth checking out, but I can get everything I'm interested in right here, so I don't really care about it... do you?"

You softly admitted you did wonder what was out there, he shrugged and the topic was swiftly put to the side for something you both cared about, like anime or games.

The day you do decide to run away though, Milluki will finally understand the sense of that question. He can't help but wonder if you would've let him in on your plans if he'd answered in some other way.

He wouldn't have tried to stop you, he doesn't really care about keeping his siblings from doing things, unless he's ordered to by his mom or dad.

He does think about you sometimes, and texts you occasionally, though you don't always reply. He's happy whenever you do, though you never talk of your whereabouts.

Milluki is okay with that, and makes sure nobody finds out you two are still occasionally in touch, which honestly isn't too difficult since the others rarely come into his room anyway.

He COULD track you down in no time, but won't do so unless someone asks him to, and so far, nobody has, since Illumi prefers to do things his way.

---

🪀Killua🪀

You were the one who accidentally got Killua interested in seeing more of what the world had to offer. You didn't mean to, but the way his blue eyes would light up every time you told him about cool places and fun things normal people did made it impossible for you to stop talking about it.

He ended up running away even before you did, and that only motivated you even more to do the same. Hearing about how much fun he was having while hanging around with Gon... made you wish for friends too.

When you finally left the estate yourself, and called Killua to let him know, he was really excited, wondering if you'd run into each other at some point. "Hah! Took you long enough! And to think that you've wanted to get out for longer than I have... I'm glad about it though, I wonder if you'll find some friends too, but they certainly won't be as cool as Gon!"

You do eventually meet up with him, and he's thrilled to see you again, though he's a bit nervous about introducing you to Gon, fearing he might get along better with you.

It all goes sort of well in the end... because you and Gon talked lots about Killua and your respective experiences with him. It made the white haired boy really embarrassed, but he was also glad that Gon didn't have the time to know you better.

You catch up with Killua as well, ask him what he's been up to and such, then he asks you if you've heard from the rest of the family as well, and you shake your head. You haven't talked to anyone else... aside from your occasional exchanges with Milluki.

After a day spent together, you part ways once more; the boys have their own goals and you got yours after all. But you promise each other to definitely keep in touch and to meet up some other time.

---

🧸Alluka🧸

Alluka was forbidden from setting foot in the outside world due to her dangerous powers. She was the one person you would've absolutely loved to tell everything about it to.

Unfortunately, since she was constantly kept under surveillance you couldn't do that. You tried once, and your mother immediately scolded you, saying Alluka couldn't get those sorts of ideas in her mind.

When you ran away, you didn't have time to say goodbye to Alluka, and due to her isolation, nobody even bothered to tell her you'd gone off on your own. She just wondered why you'd stopped coming all of a sudden.

She only learns of you escapade once you meet up with Killua the second time, and see her there with him. She is overjoyed to see you again. "Y-y/n!! I'm so happy to see you again! I was so worried something had happened to you... nobody would tell me where you were... you've been well, right?!"

Alluka hugs you tightly and you apologize for disappearing so abruptly. You assure her you've been well, and that you're very happy to see her with Killua... outside of that cursed room at last.

You spend a calm day together with her and Killua, where she tells you all about the fun places he's been taking her to. You can't help but be proud of Killua for what he's doing, and you're also excited for what the future has in store for Alluka.

Predictably, once it's time for goodbyes again, Alluka begs you to stay with them instead, not wanting to lose you another time. She gets a little pouty about it, until Killua explains to her she can't choose what you do with your life.

She accepts those conditions and asks you to at least call, because she does want to hear lots from you from now on.

---

🪭Kalluto🪭

Kalluto never stayed away from his mother for long, so, much like with Illumi, you'd have to be careful about what you talked with him, knowing that if you said anything weird, he was definitely going to tell Kikyo.

He did catch you looking at a few books that could've given you away, but you always managed to change topics, and with Kalluto being the youngest, he didn't really feel like he had the right to press you for information.

Besides, he had no reason to doubt your loyalty to the family given how close to everyone you were, you even took time out of your day to spend time with him! Something his other siblings didn't really do that often.

That's why when you did leave, it hit him the hardest. While Killua's departure had been tough to handle, given how he'd always wanted to be noticed by him, your departure felt like he'd lost the one sibling who truly saw him. Things felt much lonelier for him without you around, and he couldn't even call you, because he didn't have a phone at the time.

Kalluto eventually joins the Phantom Troupe in hopes of getting strong enough to take both you and Killua back to the family. What he wasn't expecting, however, was meeting you during that process.

You're super happy to see him out and about, but he didn't leave the estate for the same reasons as you did. "Why... did you run away? Were you not happy with us? You made mother really upset... you made me upset... you made me feel lonely."

Hearing Kalluto state how he felt when you left does make you feel a bit guilty. You assure him you still love your family, but you realized you'd never be able to do your own thing if you never left the estate.

He struggles to understand your perspective, and still hopes you'll go back home one day, but he doesn't want to argue with you, so he accepts it. He demands for your phone number, so you two can still keep in touch.

---