#sure his father might've been an alcoholic but that’s it

[helianthus21]

honestly i hope that, if at all, Daniel gets a super boring mediocre backstory. it would be much funnier to me if he's just Like That for no reason:3

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Changes

What do you do when the person you once were becomes the person you miss being the most?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, no smut in this I'm sorry pls still read it :( there's some tension tho!!

Length: 6.5k words

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"Thanks for picking him up." Taehyung sighs, his son happily in the living room, taking a nap from school as he tucks himself in on the couch while his favorite show plays on the TV.

"I would've asked her, you know, but I feel like I'm relying too much on her again." The young father sighs. "I'm basically treating her the same as I did years ago, just without the pay."

"I heard about that." Jungkook says, drinking his coffee at the kitchen table where he sits across Taehyung. "She used to nanny while you lived separately from your wife, I think it was." He hums, setting his cup down. Jungkook isn't on bad terms with Taehyung's wife- but he tends to not say her name, because he honestly harbors quite a bit of distaste towards the woman who refuses to properly take care of her own child.

"Well don't you seem to know a bit about her now." Taehyung squints his eyes in suspicion. "What happened to 'she's too young for me anyways' huh?" He teases, and Jungkook sighs.

"Well, things.. happened. And we talked." He shrugs. "We're not.. really a couple, but we agreed to spend time with one another." He explains.

"So you're friends with benefits?" He wonders, drinking his tea while Jungkook leans back.

"No." He shakes his head, even though deep down, it does kind of feel like that to him, now that he thinks about it a bit more. "It's.. a bit more complicated than that. We're simply talking, seeing where it goes." He says.

"Hmhm." Tae nods. "Just don't break her heart. I still got basically nightmares from her last relationship." He mumbles a bit angrily to himself, clearly a bit irritated even just by the thought of it.

"I.. wondered what happened." Jungkook says. "Dae said he was a drinker?" He wonders, and Taehyung nods.

"Drinker, druggie, abusive asshole." He huffs, crossing his arms. "It's the main reason she moved away when Daehyun was younger. She wanted to protect him- make sure he won't get hurt."

"Was he violent?" Jungkook wants to know, because honestly, he has a hunch that that might've been the case. Taehyung seems on edge now, clearly torn between probably saying the truth, and respecting your privacy. "I was intending to ask her anyways. But she seems like the type to downplay her problems in order to make things seem less serious, so I thought you might be more honest." He adds.

"Yeah, she is like that." Tae agrees softly. "I'm not too sure what exactly went down. But I do know that she.. distanced herself out of fear that Daehyun might get hurt." He tells his friend. "Greg started to pick her up every time she'd babysit Daehyun at my house, even after I told him I didn't like that. He still did, still argued, turned up drunk multiple times at my doorstep." The young father remembers. "I kept her with me, of course. I'd never let her drive home with that alcoholic- but I guess something must've happened because she just.. suddenly cut contact." He shrugs. "Sent me a text, changed her number, moved out her old apartment."

"When did she come back?" Jungkook wonders.

"According to Yoongi, a few weeks before the aftershow party." Taehyung responds.

"So that's why you didn't recognize her?" He figures, and Tae nods.

"She changed a lot. Not just visually. She's.." His eyes lower to the cup in his hand. "..a lot more quiet. Cautious. Jumpy." He informs his friend. "And at the same time, she seems to mask a lot of it- get's irritated easily. She's trying to be who she was, but it's obvious that something changed, and whenever someone notices, she becomes defensive."

Jungkook doesn't really know what to think. Looking at Daehyun on the couch, he can absolutely understand your standpoint back then to get away from Taehyung's family in order to protect them- but that means there must have been at least some form of fear against your former partner to make you believe that he could potentially be a danger to the young boy and his father. It could also just be jealousy, of course- but Taehyung is right. You are a little odd sometimes.

And he doesn't know if he wants to know exactly why, or if he wants to let sleeping dogs rest.

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Jungkook leans back in his office chair, headache already almost too unbearable to him, especially considering the woman who's making her way up in the giant corporate building to see him.

She wants money again, he knows it. Evelyn only ever visits him if there's something she wants, after all.

"One might argue they'd know me by now." Evelyn huffs as she enters the office, hair a bit wet as she throws her coat over the chair in front of his desk, before she sits down. "How're you doing?" She wonders, and Jungkook doesn't look away from his laptop's screen whatsoever, still looking through his e-mails. He doesn't have to put too many thoughts into this conversation after all- she's most likely just here to leech off of him again.

"Cut it." He simply says. "What do you want?" He asks, phone on his desk vibrating and chiming with a new notification.

'I can just drop something off for you? I just got off work myself, so it's no hassle.' your message reads, an answer to a former rant from him about his headache, and the fact that he's 'locked in like a dog' in his office and without any proper food ever since this morning. It makes him softly smile a little, the fact that you want to bring him something to eat even though you're probably exhausted from your shift as well is something he's not used to. And he didn't even have to ask for it.

'Only if it's really not an issue for you' his answer reads, and you send a thumbs-up emoji as an answer, before you finish typing your proper answer.

'DW, is anything okay or do you want something specific?' you question, and he immediately types a response.

'Just whatever, really. Nothing too spicy though, please.' he offers, when a hand knocks on the table in front of him, the woman in his office dragging him back into reality with force. He signs, locks his phone before he puts it down, opening a chat with the front desk downstairs to let them know to bring you up when you arrive.

"You know, this was always the issue, Jungkook." Evelyn whines, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. "You're so consumed by your work, it's crazy." She shakes her head.

"That wasn't work, actually." He bites back with a monotone voice, not really offering her any emotion whatsoever- there's nothing left in him anymore he could offer anyways. She took it all, sucked it out of him like an insect, and now she's constantly upset that he's empty inside.

"Anyways, I got this letter recently stating that there was an issue with the bank transfer?" She says, giving him the letter to read- which he does, flying over it just to remember why that bank transfer did not go through. "I told them that they'll get their money by friday." She hums, leaning her face on her palm while he gives her the letter back.

"What do I have to do with it then?" He asks, and she sits upright again, tilting her head a bit in irritation. "You said they'll get their money by friday. Good. Why are you here then?" He asks, arms crossed, office chair squeaking a bit as he leans back into it.

"Well, it's your bank account!" She laughs a bit unsure. "I don't even know why there was apparently not a sufficient balance on it." She argues.

"I resigned the automatic transfer rights." Jungkook tells her, face not moving an inch as he breaks the news. "The letter doesn't mention an insufficient balance at all, Evelyn. It states that there's no bank account set for the automated transfer option at all." He informs her.

"What the fuck Jungkook?!" She barks. "And you didn't even tell me?!" She yells, standing up to slap her hands on his desk. "You can't just make these changes and not inform me about it! Do you know how expensive that was?!" She accuses, and he shrugs, noticing something move behind her, milky glass front of his office hiding what's going on inside and outside, only letting shadows be seen if someone's close enough. "I'll text you the invoice later, and you better fucking pay, you asshole!" She says, when she whips her head around, someone opening the glass door.

"Thanks." You tell the office lady having let you in, before your eyes widen, door closing behind you and instantly drowning out all noise except the very slight sound of the fan in the corner of the room.

"Ah, there you are." Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling a lot lighter as he looks at you. "Come here- is it still raining a lot?" He wonders easily, taking the white plastic bag from you to set it on his table, before giving you a small hug to greet you. "I think that was all you wanted, wasn't it?" He asks Evelyn, who hasn't even gotten up from her seat, instead clearly studying you now.

"Actually, no." She tells him. "And it's kind of private, so it would be real nice if your assistant would leave." She tells you with a smile that reminds you of a snarling dog.

"Then come back a different day." Jungkook answers her however, offering to take your coat from you to hang next to his own on the wall close to the large windows. "Right now I'm really not in the mood for whatever it might be. Especially not with my girlfriend in the room." He bluntly says, and something seems to flash over her face at the mention of your alleged role in his life.

She slowly stands up to take her coat from the back of the chair, movements a lot slower now, a glare sent into your direction. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart." Evelyn tells you, slipping into the sleeves of her coat. "His first love will always stay his job." She almost threatens, before she takes her purse and leaves through the door, leaving a confused you, and a clearly exhausted Jungkook behind.

"Please, sit down." He offers, and you do so, watching how he leans back in his chair, hands running over his face before he sits up again. "I'm sorry. That timing couldn't have been worse." He sighs.

"Ah, here. Do you have water here?" You wonder, and he nods, pointing towards a water dispenser in the room. "Oh, fancy." You laugh, walking up to fill a cup to put in front of him. "I take them myself, they usually help really quickly. Not trying to murder you." You tease, and he chuckles, taking the medication and the cup for himself.

"Thank you, really." He sighs out before taking the pill, washing it down with half of the cup's contents before he closes his eyes for a moment. "God I hate her so much." He suddenly breaks out laughing, before he shakes his head, digging through what you've bought for him.

"I assume that was your ex wife?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I'm also really sorry for telling her you're my girlfriend when we haven't even talked about that yet." He tells you a bit.. shyly almost, while you pull the bag closer to take something out for yourself.

"It's fine." You shrug. "Got a nice ring to it, you know?" You joke, and he smiles, starting to eat.

It's quiet, but not oddly so. He enjoys this a lot, this company without any pressure, no eerie sense of something being about to happen. You're clearly here because you want to be, there's nothing you want from him, nothing you need, nothing you could gain from this. It's just what it is, nothing else, nothing to red between the lines.

"You can ask why she was here, by the way." He offers you, wiping his mouth with a tissue.

"I don't have to know." You say, however. "It's got nothing to do with me- right?" You ask, and he nods. "Then it's none of my business. You can rant to me about it, sure, but I can't really give you any opinions on it since I don't really know her, or the situation around you and her." You tell him.

Jungkook watches you for a moment, before he nods. "You're right." He agrees, letting go of the topic entirely for now. He know it's only fair to talk to you about it at some point- but right now is not the time for that, he decides. "Do you want me to drive you home later? I really only have to answer this one E-mail and then I can clock out." He tells you between bites, wiping his fingers before he taps away on his keyboard.

"If it's not a bother, sure." You shrug. "You said you got the weekend off, right?" You ask him, and he nods a bit absentmindedly. "Then how about you stay over?" You ask, and that definitely seems to catch his attention.

"Stay over?" He asks, just to make sure he heard it correctly, and you nod.

"Yeah." You nod. "It's, you know, what boyfriends do with their girlfriends." You tease, making him roll his eyes. "We could cook something, watch a movie. Oh, and one of the lightbulbs in my kitchen broke, so maybe you could fix that for me?" You chirp, and he suddenly smiles brightly to himself, clicking something on his laptop before he shuts it down. "What's that grin for, mister?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing, really." He tells you. "I'm just really happy." He confesses, and you smile the same, now a bit shy.

"Well, what's your answer then?" You wonder, watching him pack the leftovers back into the bag, before he walks to get both his and your jackets, helping you into yours.

"My answer is yes." He says, voice very close to your ear as he leans over your shoulder from behind you, hands on your arms for a second. "I'd love to stay over and fix that lightbulb too, of course.-"

"Since I heard that's what boyfriends do with their girlfriends."

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"There we go." He says, slowly climbing down the plastic kitchen chair you're holding onto just in case. "Anything else while I'm here?" He genuinely asks, and you shake your head, moving the chair back to the small kitchen table.

"No, that was all. Thank you, really." You say, before you move to open the fridge, taking out some things while he stands around with his hands in his pockets. Your apartment is pretty small- living in it together with you would most likely prove to be way too much, but he still thinks it's better than his own, in terms of.. quality.

His own home feels empty. There's nothing in it, it's way too big for a single person, and the view from so high up above the clouds has long lost it's charm to him.

He sits down at the kitchen table, leaning on it a little as he watches you wash some vegetables before you grab a cutting board and a knife. "Daehyun said you're a little lonely without your dog." He says, and you giggle a little, smiling to yourself. "Have you considered getting another one?" He wonders, but you just shrug.

"I'm too busy at the moment." You deny. "I used to bring him to work with me, since he was a very quiet and calm dog, which fit perfect into our office." You remember. "He'd always sleep under my desk, right on my feet. Always kept them warm." You softly say, and he notices that he might've struck a still hurtful topic if only from the sound of your voice becoming somewhat tighter.

"I can imagine. I always wanted a dog too-" He sighs, leaning back. "But.. Evelyn, the woman you saw today, she doesn't like them. So it was out of the question."

"Really?" You wonder, cutting up the vegetables. "I mean, I guess, if both of you were really busy then it probably was for the best." You hum, tension leaving you again. "Gotta look at the bigger picture."

"Yeah, maybe it was for the best." He agrees. To be honest, Evelyn would've probably fought over the dog as well, just like she did over the apartment, and other more petty things like fucking furniture. She wanted to ruin him, if financially then emotionally, and somehow, she somewhat did.

It's quiet again, when you, surprisingly to him, cut into a topic he did not expect.

"His name was Greg." You say, filling a small pot with water before you place it on the stove, turning it on. "You probably talked about him with Taehyung."

"I did." He admits. "But there's not much I know." He offers. "And like you said about my situation, I don't have to know about things that don't concern me. However-" He begins, getting up to now stand closer, find your gaze that's turned downwards onto the cutting board. "-I don't want to accidentally do something that might make you uncomfortable due to past experiences." He says.

"What a tactful way to ask me if I've got any trauma from that guy." You chuckle, moving to put the cut up vegetables in a bowl before you continue the preparations for dinner.

"I'm trying to be gentle here." He attempts to lighten up the mood, and you indeed smile at that.

"And I'm very thankful for that." You offer him, before you sigh, setting down the knife. "I don't.. think we're at a point where I should be dumping all of what happened onto you." You inform him, and he nods, accepting that. "I don't like yelling. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll probably try and get myself out of a situation by any means necessary-" you admit, turning a little to look at him. "-and that will probably include some nasty words thrown your way, if that get's you away from me." You tell him. "And I don't like alcohol. Even if you hand me full on medical evidence that you can't even get drunk, the moment I smell it- I just can't trust you." You say, and he nods.

"Alright, I respect that." He nods.

"I'll also get pretty clingy over time." You add on, making him nod. "And I can be annoying. I'll text you a lot." You continue, and a small smile sneaks itself onto his lips as he shrugs, crossing his arms. "The moment you invite me into your home I'll practically steal half of your closet contents-"

"Is that what he told you?" He wonders, and you grow quiet, eyes avoiding him. "I'm obsessed with my work." He begins his own rant, standing up to walk closer to you. "I never have time for anything else. I'm boring. Sometimes rude, and immature. I'm a perfectionist, but I'm also lazy. I snore, and I work out too much to the point where I'm sweating buckets. I'm a little messy." He tells you, hugging you from behind, though not very intimately- giving you a clear way out if you so want to.

"…is that what she told you?" You answer, and he smiles.

"Let's just agree on getting to know each other just the way we are, not the way someone else described us in the past." He offers, and you nod.

"Alright." You hum, before you push him a little playfully. "Now go and let me cook in here, boyfriend." You tease, making him grin impishly, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he does not walk away from behind you, hands now flat on your ass. "Hey!"

"What? I'm out of your way like this." He tells you almost innocently, hands moving to hold your waist now.

"Sit down there and let me cook!" You laugh.

"But we wanted to cook together, no?" He wonders. "Like.. boyfriend and girlfriend." He leans his chin on your shoulder.

"Well, boyfriends let their girlfriends cook in peace." You threaten, making him chuckle as his fingers squeeze your hips a bit.

"Not if their girlfriend is this attractive." He purrs, making you roll your eyes.

"Jungkook…" You wonder, suddenly way more serious, making his stand up straight again so you can face him. "Is.. that what we are now?" You ask, and his lips part for a second, unsure of his own answer. "I mean, it's fine if we're just playing around. Just.. I'm scared that we might end up in some.. unnecessary drama down the line if we're blurring the lines too much without properly discussing things first." You say.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and you sigh.

"What if you end up calling me.. your girlfriend just as a joke? But I start believing it at some point- thinking we are something serious when we're not. Or the other way around." You explain. "I don't want us to get hurt again. Neither of us."

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and from this close proximity, you can make out two odd dots near his bottom lip you're not too sure of. You might ask him about them some other time.

"Let me take time off of work. Next week, three days." He offers, catching you off guard. "Let's go on a trip. Together. Someplace no one knows us, and we don't know either." He tells you.

"I mean- I would've had friday and the weekend off anyways but-"

"Okay, great, perfect. I'll cancel my Friday meetings." He tells you, hands moving- at first, they seem to attempt to hold your cheeks- but it's like that feels too intimate yet, so he settles for your shoulders. "Let's get to know each other. The real you and me that got.. buried at some point." He offers.

"Why on a trip?" You ask.

"Because it's perfect." He chuckles. "Close proximity of the hotel room we'll share, stress of navigating the unfamiliar environment, the tension of not being able to just 'escape' any uncomfortable situation right away forcing us to talk things out as they happen-" He begins, and your mouth shapes an 'o' as you realize what he's talking about.

"It's a stress-test." You say, and he nods, grinning.

"Exactly." He nods.

"…to be honest you're already stressing me out." You jokingly reply-

Jungkook laughing, and you have a feeling he's not done that in a long time, with the way his ears turn red and his hand covers his mouth in embarrassment of that outburst.

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When Taehyung opens the door, he instantly greets his son who Jungkook has put down the moment he'd noticed the young father arriving at the front door to let him in.

"Oh wow." Taehyung laughs as Jungkook walks in, almost nervously running a hand through his hair. "Is the world ending? Apocalypse? Or am I high?" He jokes, making Jungkook roll his eyes. "No, seriously! I didn't even know you could still put those piercings back in!" He laughs, taking Dae's school backpack to take out his lunchbox so he can sort out the leftovers and wrappers from his snacks.

"It was a bit tricky, I won't lie." He laughs a little. "But they didn't really close all that much since I had them for so long, so it wasn't a big deal." He shrugs.

"What's the occasion?" Tae wonders, throwing the wrappers of Daehyun's snacks in the trash. "You most certainly don't look like you're gonna go to a meeting like that. What happened to 'I'm not in my twenties anymore' huh?" He jokes.

"I'm honestly not sure." He answers, hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just.. felt like it. And I'm not going to the office- I took time off." He confesses.

"Okay, are you running a fever?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook laughs to himself. "Are you gonna meet up with your.. friend?" He air-quotes, and Jungkook nods, checking the silver watch on his wrist.

"Yeah- we're meeting up later, she's currently packing her things last thing she texted me." He nods. "Our flight is in about three hours from now, but it's her first time flying, so we wanted to be there a bit early just in case." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh, fancy." Taehyung laughs. "Why though?" He wonders, washing the colorful lunchbox of his son in the sink.

"Stress testing." Jungkook offers. "We just want to see if we can handle each other under pressure." He says, and Taehyung sighs.

"My god Jungkook, can you just once try and not make everything more complicated than it has to be?" He worries. "Just spend time with her. Go out for a coffee or something, watch a shitty movie at home and let her suck you off during the commercial break or something, you know, like NORMAL people!" He whines. "You're acting as if this is some million-dollar business discussion. It's really not." He huffs out in frustration. "Listen, I know Eve fucked you over bad, and honestly you've always had a shit-taste in women to begin with because holy fuck if I think back to Lucy-"

"Can you get to the point?" Jungkook complains, a little embarrassed as his friend brings up his admittedly terrible dating history.

"-yeah, sorry." He laughs. "But, trust me-" Taehyung says, drying his hands before he puts them on his friend's shoulders. "-she's honestly perfect for you. Once you help her get her confidence back up, trust me, you've got yourself someone who's not a raging cunt for once." He finishes his rant, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"You think?" He worries, and Taehyung nods.

"I do." He says, patting his friend's back before he leads him to his front door. "Be yourself. And I mean, your real self. Be that goofy dude who cries during disney movies and folds his laundry to Depeche Mode at 3 am."

"Why would I do that?" Jungkook cringes, thinking his friend is joking- but he's surprised to find Taehyung with a soft gaze instead, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Because that's the Jungkook I know." He offers, a somber look on his face.

"And I miss him."

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"Let me take that." He offers, taking the suitcase from you. It's small, scratched up, and he can't help but notice the stickers on it. "You good to go?" He wonders, and you nod, closing the door before locking it, walking next to him out the apartment building towards his by now familiar car, his own luggage already in the trunk where he puts yours now as well.

The moment you sit next to him inside, is when you notice how.. different he is today. Not only from looks alone- but it feels different, oddly enough. Lighter. Not as serious as he usually is. "I wondered what those.. spots were." You say, looking at him from the passenger side, and he raises his brows while stopping at a red light, turning his head towards you, who points to your own lower lip.

"Ah, yeah." He chuckles, a bit bashful. "I.. got them done in my early twenties. Took them out though, because.. I don't know." He shrugs.

"You don't know, of do you just realize that the reason was stupid?" You giggle, and he sighs, with a smile on his lips however.

"Caught me." He confesses, changing lanes as he makes his way to the airport.

"Why'd you put them back in?" You ask, leaning against the car door a bit.

"Because I wanted to be myself." He explains. "I.. like I said. I want you to get to know me. And not the person I became to please others around me." He tells you.

"I assume your.. ex wife didn't like the piercings?" You ask, testing how far you can pry into his past and how much you can poke until he tells you off. But much to your surprise, he seems rather unfazed by the topic.

"She hated my tattoos as well. Wanted me to get them removed constantly." He chuckles, and you're intrigued.

"You've got tattoos as well?" You ask, and he nods.

"Maybe I'll let you see them later?" He flirts, and you grin to yourself, adjusting your legs a little as you stay quiet. "Either way, Evelyn didn't like a lot about me."

"Then why did she marry you?" You ask, noticing too late how mean that question could come off.

"Probably for my bank account." He simply laughs. "I was.. stupid. I thought she was fixing me." He shakes his head. "I thought she only had my best interest in mind." He says, setting his turn lights to enter the airport parking area. "But she always hated me. Still does." He sighs, searching for a proper parking spot.

"Well, I don't hate you." You tell him.

"Yet." He mumbles, before he finally parks the car, turning off the engine. "Do you have your passport and everything on hand? Don't wanna have to unpack everything in a rush later at check-in." He tries to change the topic, but you look at him with eyes so soft that he becomes scared of them.

"Jungkook." You say his name, and he hates how kind it sounds. "As long as you're not like him, I won't hate you. Honestly, I don't even hate him." You tell him, and he nods a bit stiffly, before practically escaping the car, instead putting on his jacket before helping you take out your suitcase and handbag.

Inside the airport, he notices your nervousness, hand constantly reaching out but never holding on to him at all, in any way. It makes him chuckle a little as he watches you fight with yourself for quite a while, before he helps you check in.

You're clearly a bit overstimulated by everything going on around you, looking around anxiously, biting the inside of your lips constantly, even as you both sit down to wait for your gate to open for boarding. "Hey-" He reaches out to tug your lip from your teeth with his thumb, before he smiles in reassurance. "Okay?" He wonders, and you nod, though you're not looking at him. "Come here. You can hold onto me, by the way, if that helps you." Jungkook suggests, and you move your arms to wrap around one of his, body scooting closer to lean your face against his shoulder, sweater soft against your skin. He moves his arm around your shoulders to keep you closer, hand offering itself for you to hold instead, and you do so, fingers cold. "What's that scar?" He wonders, thumb running over a faint scar over the palm of your hand.

"A shoelace." You say, a little quietly.

"A shoelace?" He repeats, and you nod.

"Yeah." You confirm. "I had.. I was in the midst of changing the laces of.. Gregory's boots, because the dog had chewed them. But he got mad anyways, and pulled them out of my hand." You remember. "It happened really quickly, but I remember that it hurt badly." You chuckle. "It was an odd pain. Like my body couldn't decide whether or not I was burned or cut."

Jungkooks hand on your shoulder starts to move a little in a soothing motion, fingers circling around. It's his first confirmation that something did indeed happen, and he's almost convinced that what you just told him was probably not an isolated incident, but simply one of many that went down during your entire relationship.

"I didn't want him to get mad at Yogi. He already hated the poor dog enough." You sigh, closing your eyes as you settle against Jungkook's side. He enjoys this close proximity, the domestic feel of this moment, even though it's out in public and for everyone to see. He doesn't care.

"You can heal with me, you know?" He says, and you look up at him from where you're leaning against his body. "I can't promise you that.. our time spent will be all smooth sailing, but I can assure you that it will be nothing like what you've experienced." He hums towards you.

And you smile warmly, sighing. "Don't worry-" you giggle, closing your eyes.

"-It already is."

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The hotel room is spacious, expensive looking, nothing like you've seen before.

Usually, you only really get to see things like these on vacation photos your friends show you- you yourself don't really travel, you technically don't take time off at all, rather always asking to have your off-days paid out instead if possible. You've got no reason to treat yourself with anything, be it time off or a full on vacation.

Your sense of self worth has shriveled up like rotten fruit over the years, now thrown out like the garbage it is.

Jungkook meanwhile clearly has a routine in him, as he walks through every room first to check if everything's okay, just to then place his bag somewhere near the bed, a big yawn escaping him as he opens the balcony door wide, letting the air of the seaside in. It's odd to see him dressed rather casual, simple but expensive sweater stretching over his broad back. His face still shows the clear stress he's accumulated, and it makes you wonder.

"Do you.. go on vacations often?" You wonder, and he shakes his head.

"No, usually I only fly out for business trips." He explains, watching you sit on the edge of the twin-sized bed. "I originally thought I should book two single beds, by the way. I just.. thought it might be more intimate like this." He tells you, leaning against the small balcony's edge outside, glass door open, as the wind blows through the curtains a little.

"It's okay like this." You nod, making him smile softly.

"Do you want to rest a little?" He asks, and you shrug, unsure. You only have three days- if you sleep now, it's probably annoying to him since he most likely planned something on this trip for you both to do. He at least comes across as someone who likes to have everything set out and structured- not like you, who dives in head first without any real plan. You don't want him to stay hidden inside the hotel room just because you're tired from the flight. "Hey." He asks, and you didn't even notice him squatting down in front of where you sit, his hands on your knees as he finds your eyes from where he's looking up at you. "Don't hesitate to speak your mind. If we want this to work, we need honestly, first and foremost." He encourages, and you nod.

"I'm tired- but I don't want to be boring." You worry.

"How would taking a nap be boring?" he chuckles. "I'm actually glad you're tired. I didn't want to come off as an old man who needs a break because he can't keep up." He laughs, standing up before he moves to lay down on the bed, patting the spot right next to him.

You lay down where he wordlessly suggested, taking in a deep breath while focusing your eyes on the collar of his sweater for a moment. It's when your gaze roams around that you notice something poke out on his wrist as he turns back around from removing his watch from the other arm. Your fingers curiously lift the fabric of the sleeve, making him chuckle quietly, before he moves to push the fabric up to his elbow, exposing different colors of ink underneath his skin.

What was Jungkook like when he was younger? Has he always been somewhat like this- or has he changed into this instead?

"Got them done in my early twenties too." He explains quietly. "Just.. lineart at first. Black and white." Jungkook remembers as he watches you trace some of the lines with your finger. "Then it got more. Over time, it looked a little messy- so I added color to it, this time actually going to a professional who specifies in forming sleeves." He tells you.

"Do you regret them?" You wonder. "Like.. your piercings and your tattoos?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"It's not like I regret them." He denies. "I still like the look of them. The aesthetic of it. It's just.." He sighs, inked hand turning around palm up, and you put your own on top of his, making him move to compare your hand sizes palm to palm. "..they don't feel like me anymore." He shrugs.

"Maybe because they aren't." You offer, now holding his hand with both of yours, your eyes on the blurred ink underneath the skin. "Maybe.. you changed. Even though you didn't want to."

He did. He knows that he did- but what he struggles with, is the question if he can even go back now. He wants to, but at this point, he feels like he's crossed that line by now, too far to step back and take a different path. Most people around him nowadays only now this Jungkook, not the one he used to be. If he just reverts back to who he once was, will he lose every friendship and connection he's made after he married?

Marriage. The moment he changed.

Love can make someone truly blind to a lot of things. He overlooked so many warning signs, pushed old friends and even family away just because they saw what he did not- or more so refused to. He's not spoken to his own parents in years, by now too ashamed to admit that he'd been wrong for the entirety of his past relationship, that his mother was right about her. What would she think about you?

She'd like you, he's very sure about that. His father would probably be a little suspicious of the age gab, and his brother would most likely tease the living daylights out of him, but he knows you'd fit right in. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What would they think of him?

He wants to ask you, but the moment he becomes aware and snaps out of his thoughts, your eyes are already closed, breathing even. You're still holding onto him, and he realizes that he's never actually had a moment like this with Evelyn in the past, not even when they were just a regular couple, and definitely not after they got married. He feels.. free. No pressure on him, no obligations awaiting him, nothing needed or expected from him. You're simply sleeping, and yet the act itself makes his pride swell, because of your display of trust towards him.

He knows you've been hurt. He knows that he's been hurt-

And maybe, just maybe, together, you can finally begin heal.

Change once more, for a final time, into a happier version of yourselves.

[antidesire]

12:59 antidesire

not another vendetta/id!leon post.. wuh oh. thank you for 500 followers ♡

f!reader x dbf!leon, 18+ only. reader wears a bikini, a skirt and some makeup, alcohol consumption, reader is 21+, leon is pushing 40. size kink!!, praise, leon calls reader good girl, baby girl, little one, small, reader calls leon daddy like a couple times, reader is very eager to please, a lot of dirty talk, cunnilingus, p in v, creampie. this is purely fictional always use protection and practice safe sex. 4.5k+ of filfth, probably more rushed and messy than it should be not sure how i feel about it, i apologise.

leon s. kennedy,

you only knew of the older man from your father, the two had met during a pub crawl one night, and your father was quite the talker, giving him the rundown on all the best liquors, telling him all kinds of crazy stories about his life (nothing compared to mr. kennedy) and all the trouble he got in to in his younger days, so the two hit it off like a house on fire and suddenly leon kennedy was a part of your father's friend group despite being younger compared to your father, he seemed to relate a lot to him (his entire tab being paid for by his new friend probably helped too).

you were used to it, how sociable your father was, he always made time to enjoy his weekends, whether it be out on the town or inside, and that day was scorching hot so he had decided a garden party was the only option, it seemed silly not to what with the pool in the back yard and a barbeque grill.

with a group message to all his and your mother's friends, the plans were set.

you wouldn't say you were being promiscuous or inappropriate- not on purpose, surely never. it just so happened that your favourite bikini was on the skimpier side, a little triangular bra and thong, and in a colour that complimented your skin strikingly well, some heart sunglasses for some contrast, cute- that's what you'd call it, cute.

did your mom's friends approve? absolutely not, whispering their outrage and shock under their breaths, sending glares over to their husbands, it did make you laugh.

your mom might've cared, and your dad as well- too bad they were already more than tipsy by the time their guests arrived.

the water felt so warm thanks to the sun beaming down on the garden, with your butt perched on the edge of the pool you dangled your legs inside the cool water as you leaned back on your palms, basking in the rays.

"leon!" you heard your father call out in excitement and your head whipped around, you'd never heard of a leon before. "it's so good to see you man, how have you been?"

leon was gorgeous, and that was to put things modestly. he didn't look as old as your other father's friends and good lord he was a hundred times sexier than any of them.

his hair was dark, not too long, but you noticed one side swept over his eye. he had partial stubble along his chin and upper lip, and his dark locks contrasted with his icy blue eyes.

suddenly you were the one ogling, sunglasses tipped down the length of your nose, determined to know more about this leon.

sloshing of the water turned your dad’s attention back to you, encouraging you over to meet his friend, “this is my daughter,” your dad told leon your name before introducing him to you.

“it’s nice to meet you leon.” you smiled, holding out your hand politely to which he shook and you could’ve sworn you saw a smile tugging at his lips.

“it’s nice to meet you too.” he nodded, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes swiftly grazed over your body before distracting himself with the bottle in his hands, “i come bearing gifts.”

you watched from afar when your mother called you into the kitchen to aid her in preparing some food that couldn’t be handled on the grill your father was cooking in, “mama, does leon have a wife?” you blurted out the question before you could even swish it around in your head a little longer.

“hmm, I don’t think so, why’s that?” she laughed, tossing some salad and dressing in a bowl.

“m’ just wondering, dad’s other friends all do.” you hummed, shrugging to make it seem less suspicious.

the food went down well, even better with the delicious cocktails you and your mom whipped together earlier, a delicious buzz whirling throughout your body that had you up and moving towards the kitchen to grab another one.

“you got a spare glass? smashed mine.” you heard a voice call out, jolting in surprise, head bumping the cabinet above you,

“shit.” you cursed under your breath, hand flying up to rub the top of your head, glancing back to see it was the older man you had your eyes on earlier.

“sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you.” he laughed, footsteps coming closer, “you alright?” a cold but firm grasp was suddenly at your waist, an excuse to lean in and observe the ‘damage’.

oh god, you could smell his cologne, musky and expensive, “i’m good, you didn’t scare me- well, you did a little, but it’s fine.” wow, real smooth.

you could almost feel the vibrations in his chest when he chuckled, you had to lean back against the counter to distance the two of you, your face furrowing in confusion when he only got closer, hand reaching up above your head, “they up here?” he gestured towards the cabinet above your head.

was he toying with you right now?

“t-they’re all the way at the back, we used most of em’ already.” you mumbled, barely loud enough for him to hear, “let me check.” you spoke up before twirling yourself around, your hands pushing yourself upwards to go on your tippy toes so you could reach the glass at the back.

you purposefully shoved your ass back against him, back arched to give him a nice view of the expanse of your bare back, small strings of your bikini high on your hips, you were just generous like that. you feigned innocence as you felt around for a few more seconds, “ah-ha!” you cooed, plucking the glass down and turning yourself back to face him, “here you are.” you smiled, tapping the rim of the glass against his chest as his eyes hung a little lower on your body.

“thank you, sweetheart.” his fingertips grazed yours before taking the glass from you, your eyes dashing down to his hand, noticing blood.

“you cut yourself.” you jut your bottom lip out into a pout, extending your arm to grab his wrist and pull him over to the bathroom, glass in his hand long forgotten about.

"it's just from where the glass smashed, it's not a big deal." he was trying to brush it off but you were already grabbing the first aid kit before he could finish his sentence.

"let me look at it under the light." you encouraged him closer as you put yourself up until you were sat on the sink, first aid kit on your lap.

the light from the cabinet above the sink did make it easier to see the cut, it also made it easier to notice how slender his fingers were, veins running all the way up his bulky arms, disappearing under his black compression shirt he wore, "you're not warm like that by the way?" you glanced up from his hand, referring to his shirt, "you can join me in the pool after." you cooed, voice overly sweet as you dabbed some disinfectant on his cut, grabbing a bandaid next.

leon shook his head, a small chuckle leaving his lips, "i'm not sure your parents would appreciate that." oh, were you too obvious? oops.

your eyes rolled at that, legs swaying in the air back and forth as the rip of the paper from the bandaid could be heard in the silence, your nimble fingers pushing the dressing around the cut securely before giving his hand a squeeze to gesture that you were done.

a small sigh escaped your lips as your head leaned back against the cabinet, still perched pretty on top of the sink, your thighs looked plush and soft like this and the way the glitter from your lipgloss sparkled under the light was like its own little spell, a cautious one.

but you, you threw all caution to the wind now he voiced acknowledgment about your little games, your eyes dragged shamelessly over him, twiddling the string of your bikini panties between your fingers, "d'you not wanna touch me?" you spoke quietly.

you heard leon exhale before you felt his fingertips at your lower thighs, pushing them open so he could step closer, “you’re not playing fair.” his head tilted, fingers pinching at the soft flesh of your thighs, “you do this with all your dad’s friends, huh?”

you hummed out, your hand placing on top of his and pushing it even higher up your thigh, “i’m not normally like this, you’re special.” you cooed out, leaning in towards his ears, “i pinky promise.”

you yelped when his fingers pulled the elastic of your panties back until it snapped back against your skin, “aah.” you shivered, legs raising to clench either side of his hips.

"i won't tell anyone." you whined, rubbing your thighs against him to distract the lingering stinging sensation.

the way you sweetened your voice and fluttered your eyelashes had him reeling closer, so close you could feel his hot breath at your neck, smell the scent of sweat on him from the hot scorching day.

your fingers trailed upwards, pushing at his shirt until he grasped firmly at your wrists, shoving them out of the way, “if i got you here, i wanna do things my way.” he spoke directly, eyebrow raised as he looked for what seemed like your confirmation, to which you gave him a prompt nod, perhaps a little eagerly.

“good girl.” two simple words and your stomach was doing somersaults, all the blood rushing straight to your cheeks. it sounded like pure honey falling from his lips, sweeter than the cocktails you had previously enjoyed.

leon didn’t miss the way the little pet name clearly had you dazed either, he was quite attentive, fingers grazing back and forth over the goosebumps on your thigh whilst the other was placed at your chin, thumb rubbing along your jaw, "you're such a pretty little thing, your old man told me he had a beautiful, smart daughter at home.. i should've believed him more, i shouldn't have come." he snickered, shaking his head.

"it's too late for that now." you huffed, knocking your head to his and catching his lips until they meshed with yours, feeling his stubble graze your skin, igniting pulses of desire straight between your legs.

he didn't bite, you only felt him relax a little into the kiss before pushing himself away with an expression you couldn't read on his face, "you're making it hard to think straight."

you laughed at that, "don't think at all, that's what i like to do." you winked, "just do what feels good." you giggled and leon could feel his heart skip a beat, you were so damn cute.

"fuck.." he threw his head back, chuckling at the situation he found himself in. when his attention was back on you he noticed your fingers between your legs, rubbing your fingers against your clothed pussy.

"mh-mh," he shook his head, swatting away your hand, "let me take care of you, sweetheart." he breathed out, fingers tucking under your panties, dragging them all the way down before flinging them somewhere on the floor, long forgotten about along with his sense of morals.

you whimpered at the feeling of cold porcelain on your bare skin, feeling your pussy brush against it when he pushed your thighs open, "s-shit.." you whimpered.

you almost forgot to keep breathing when you watched him kneel down, taking a position in between your legs, perching them both over his shoulders, fingertips squeezing and rubbing the outside of your thighs, "you don't mind if i'm a little selfish and have a taste first, yeah baby?" he blinked up at you and if the feeling of your thighs already squeezing around his head wasn't enough, maybe the audible moan followed up by a mantra of "yes, yes, yes" was enough.

"you're so cute, you get excited about the littlest things." he observed, leaning in to press wet, open-mouthed kisses along your inner thigh, stubble scraping along your skin.

"n-no i don't." you tried to deny out of embarrassment, only getting a chuckle of disbelief in response, knowing your body's reactions spoke for itself.

he breathed you in, eyes fluttering shut as his tongue dashed out to lick upwards to your clit, the tip of his tongue circling over the sensitive little nub which had your finger flying in his hair, "ohh, my god.." you mewled, hips already pushing up towards his face for more which he was happy to oblige.

flattening his tongue allowed you to feel him everywhere, every little inch of your cunt being showered with attention, your legs kicking against his upper back until he pulled back, allowing you a second to breathe though he didn't waste it, spitting on your clit and letting the saliva run down your pussy just so he could tongue fuck it inside you.

he had a firm grasp on your thighs now, tongue pressing past your puffy lips and inside you, pushing his tongue further and further, breathing you in until the tip of his nose pushed deliciously against your clit, grinding against it for further friction, "pleasuhh-nghnn," you brokenly moaned, legs trembling either side of him, but he kept going and it was almost embarrassing how sloppy he sounded, eating you out like he was starved, only pulling back when he wanted to pay attention to your poor puffy clit, tongue flicking and prodding before his lips sealed around it, sucking the sensitive little nub into his mouth and groaning which added a mouth-watering vibration, "daddy, please." you gasped out.

you clearly spoke too soon when a sudden knock of someone's fist against the wooden door pulled you out of your bliss.

you could've cried when he pulled away to stand up, pleasure fizzling out into nothing, legs squeezing together to maintain the warmth of where he had been perched, "don't.." you pleaded, grabbing a hold of his arms and pushing him towards you, bare soaked pussy grinding against the belt he had on around his waist.

"leon, you in here?" your father's voice spoke up again, the door handle rattling, leon gave your arm a reassuring squeeze before he plucked your bikini panties off the ground, stuffing them in his pocket and opening the door just wide enough to slip out.

being the gentleman he is, he wiped the residue of glistening saliva and cum from his mouth and chin with the back of his hand before speaking up with an excuse, "sorry, was just cooling down."

you heard your father announce needing help with something that happened in the front yard.

both their footsteps wandered away and you cursed aloud, jumping off the sink and stomping your feet on the floor, why now?!

your head peaked out of the bathroom ever so slightly until you knew the coast was clear, scurrying to your bedroom to pick up your skirt, tugging it up until you were decent enough.

with quick steps you rushed down the stairs only to see everyone in the front yard, “what happened?” you asked your mom.

“steve got a little too drunk and saw the keys still in leon’s bike.. he crashed it into the bush.” she pointed to the damage and your eyes widened, it wasn’t like it was irreversible damage but by the way leon was tugging it out of the branches and accessing things, it didn’t look good either.

“oops..” you whispered under your breath, noticing the panicked man profusely apologising and promising to pay for any damages.

leon didn’t look too concerned though- with all things considered, only brushing the man off and mumbling about how he’ll fix it himself, that no one else should be touching it anymore, as he perches it up, stuffing the keys in his back pocket- alongside your panties.

“i’m sorry man, you always have a place to crash here or we can get you a cab back home, come back for it when you can, don’t stress yourself any further.” your dad tried to fix the situation, patting leon on the back as his other friend looked like a kicked dog, wife in his ear scolding him.

“think i’ll have to crash here, i’ll bring a friend over to help me take it back tomorrow, would rather not let her outta my sight anymore.” he forced out a chuckle.

the night drew in much quicker what with your father’s friends' antics, despite leon trying to play it cool and telling them it was no big deal, clearly, there was some tension which had everyone saying their goodbyes as the sun set and the night grew on.

“darling, can you go grab leon some fresh sheets and pillows for the night?” you heard your dad call out, turning on your feet before leon could even protest.

you hopped up the stairs and towards your room, plucking out your clean strawberry sheets with a matching plush pillow for the older man, happily bringing it down and presenting them to him, “sorry if they’re not your style.” you cooed, eyelashes fluttering at him once again.

“they’re just what i like, don’t worry.” he played along before, two-finger saluting both of your parents goodnight with a thank you as they declared they were going to bed, clearly the alcohol and mood change helping their swift decision to head to bed

“is everything okay?” you followed closely behind him like a puppy dog, bumping into his back when he halted his steps as he reached the living room, throwing the bed sheets on the couch.

“it happened, no point still being angry about it, i can fix it anyway.” he told you, glancing behind his shoulder before turning to face you, arms crossing over his chest as though he was expecting something from you.

“what?” you pouted, looking up at him, doe eyes and puffed out cheeks.

“you can’t leave me alone even after almost getting caught?” his head tilted and suddenly you felt a lot smaller underneath him.

you didn’t know how to respond, part of you was humiliated, the other wanting to bite back, “i was worried!” you whined, fist coming up to hit his chest.

leon laughed, pushing his hair out of his face and walking into you until your knees buckled and you fell back against the couch, “you’re so cute.” you didn’t have time to think, already feeling his thumb push past your lips and settle on your tongue.

“such a pretty little thing.” he sighed out, eyebrows furrowed as he admired every little detail on your face, eyes grazing over your features.

“you want me so bad don’t you sweetheart?” his voice hummed out sweetly, forcing you to nod your head, though you didn’t need to be, willing to do anything he asked of you, waiting at his beckon and call.

“sweet thing.” leon pulled his hand away, grasping the end of his shirt and pulling it over his head, your eyes wasting no time taking in everything you could, the way his muscles were defined, how a light sheen of sweat was sticky on top of his skin and how the trail of dark curly hair lead from his bellybutton down into the waistband of his boxers.

“please..” you whined out, hand going up to squeeze his arm, pulling it until he was touching your neck, dragging it towards your chest.

his eyes lazily followed your movements, fingers tugging under the straps of your bikini bra until the skimpy fabric fell into your lap, “want my skirt off next daddy?” you asked him, head tilted up as your fingers already went towards the zip.

he shook his head, tongue darting out to lick over his bottom lip, admiring your pretty tits and the peek of your thighs under your skirt puddling over your lap, “no no, keep it on, it’s cute.”

his pants came off next, your eyes watching him cup his erection through his boxers, stroking himself on top of the fabric, "lemme help." you shifted closer, tongue licking the outline of him, the texture of the cotton fabric grazing against your tastebuds, licking a trail upwards to the tip of his dick pushing against the fabric.

you let leon push down his boxers, his hard cock slapping back against his chest, standing tall with the tip the prettiest red you had ever seen, glistening with a bead of his pearly precum.

you giggled, leaning in to lick from his balls, upwards his length, tongue feeling the veins running up the underside of him before the muscle reached his tip, kitten licking up the sticky cum whilst his hand rested at the back of your head. pushing you further against him, his other hand gripped at the base of his cock, slapping the tip of himself on your tongue and watching you go cross-eyed.

you let him guide you until the tip of him was pushed past your swollen lips, "mmh, that's it sexy." he groaned out, "you're so sweet, baby, i'd love to have you choking on this cock one day." he chuckled out, feeling you push yourself further down, as though you were proving yourself, hearing your pathetic little sputtering and gagging already.

"be careful little one, s'okay." he stroked the top of your head and you let your throat relax, drool pushing past the corner of your lips and tears stinging at your eyes, "you don't have to take it all, you're only a small thing."

his words were making your fingers curl into his hips, nails dragging down his skin hard enough to decorate him with red marks, you so badly wanted to keep going but you were far too excited, you had lost yourself already trying to impress him, failing but he found it cute, he found everything about you so fucking cute.

"shh, shh.." he hushed you when you pulled your mouth away to speak, thumb flicking away some stray tears that landed on your cheeks, "don't worry about it sweetheart, you make me feel good just sitting there looking so pretty."

you could feel your heart flutter out of your chest, swallowing down any humiliation and need to apologise for the sad attempt of pleasing him with your mouth, you couldn't help it, your head was a little foggy as soon as he started speaking.

you watched as he next lifted his hand up, finger twirling in the air, indicating that he wanted you to turn around, "all fours for me." he helped you maneuver into a comfortable position on the couch, your back arched, head stuffed into the strawberry printed cotton sheets and your legs spread to accommodate leon behind you.

"you have the prettiest little pussy i've ever seen, y'know that?" he uttered behind you, hand squeezing your ass, spreading you open as he pushed himself flush against you, feeling the way your pussy pulse around nothing whilst he teasingly dragged himself back and forth your slippery folds.

"n-need it, need it so bad.." you mewled out, wiggling your ass a little to try and find some friction, your skirt shifting up higher on your waist. you lurched forward suddenly when he pushed his cock inside you without warning, your squeal muffled by the sheets.

"oh.. shit, fuckkkk.." he dragged out his words as he felt your pussy pulsate and contract around him, "holy fuck, you're so- mhfm," he had to cut himself off to take a second, "so fucking tight." he exhaled, hand placing at your lower back where your skirt was, grabbing a fistful of the fabric to help you push back and forth on his cock.

"you gotta be quiet yeah? don't wanna wake your parents up.." he chuckled, hips reeling back before pushing into you again, "imagine the look on your old man's face, finding his sweet daughter fucked stupid by the man he invited into his home." he grunted, pulling you flush against him with the help of his grasp on your skirt.

"poor thing, you can't help it can you baby? you wanted this dick so bad, i don't blame you sweetheart, i really don't." he cooed mockingly as his pace became more consistently deeper and more violent.

drool was pooling on your freshly washed sheets, countless sobs of pleasure and chants of leon's name deafened thanks to your head being stuffed into the couch. you couldn't care about anything he was insinuating, if this was bad then why did it feel sooo good.

you felt a stretch in your shoulder when he grabbed your arm behind your back, pulling it towards him, "that's it, pussy feels so damn good." he groaned much louder than he should've considering what he scolded you before just moments before.

"feels s'good!" you sobbed out. you could feel his hips slapping against your thighs and your ass, you could hear it every time he drilled his fat cock into you, incoherent babbling against the sheets and fat tears rolling down your cheeks, growing closer and closer each time he shoved himself down your dripping cunt.

"right there? yeah, i know you like that dick, can feel you fucking squeezing me back in every time i'm not deep in your guts." he laughed out euphorically, feeling as though you were driving him crazy, he'd never been this dumbfounded over pussy before.

"in—" you squealed out, legs trembling, "inside! o-oh my fughnnn, cum inside!" you blubbered out desperately, fingers clawing at the sheets underneath you, no regard for your volume, far too gone.

your breath was heaving and you couldn't stop the constant squeals of joy and tears flowing as your body shivered with pure bliss, leon noticed this and didn't let up on his pace, hips jackhammering into you erratically and if he didn't have a grip on your skirt and your arm you would've been flung to the other side of the couch, "that's it baby girl, cum on my cock, you're doing so well, m'so proud." he praised.

your stomach clenched and spasmed as your release washed over your entire body, muscles trembling and jolting, voice breathless and hoarse whilst leon fucked your sticky release back into you, desperate to chase his own high, holding you steady so you wouldn't fall limply against the couch.

"ah!" leon grunted, soppy wet sounds of your pussy bouncing off of the walls as he continuously pounded into your abused pussy, "i'm cumming, fuck, fuck, fuck!" he gritted his teeth, pushing his hips flush against you as he whispered out breathlessly, "take it, take it baby." warm hot ropes of his cum spurting out and filling up your pussy.

you were completely spent but something about the sensation had you feeling so warm, so full it made your toes curl and you regained enough energy to push back against him, not wanting to lose even a drop of it.

you both spent more than a few minutes like this, basking in each other's warmth and closeness until you were collapsing from exhaustion, whimpering at the empty, sticky feeling between your legs.

leon leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your back and shoulders, rubbing and squeezing your waist to relieve any tension, "let me clean you up." was the last thing you heard him say, your eyes growing heavier and heavier.

leon didn't mind, he cleaned you up well, lifted you up, and quietly headed to your bedroom, tucking you into bed after ridding you of your skirt which he ripped, so you could enjoy your peaceful slumber for the night as he slipped away back downstairs to remove any evidence of what happened before the sun would come up and he would have to face your father once again.

[tulipe-rose]

Tiny theory that has so many plot holes and possibly makes no sense cuz I'm bored:

We all know the theory of Elise getting her personality from Yosano, and her hair type from Dazai, right? No? Well now you do, so I wanted to add a little part of my own onto it.

Elise is designed to look like a western looking girl, right? Well, I have a feeling that it has something to do with Higuchi, or maybe Higuchi's mother.

My theory is: Mōri knew Higuchi's mother–who could've been potentially a foreigner–on a personal level, might have even loved her, but she was forced into marriage with the some rich man. There was no helping it, so he let her go with grace.

Higuchi's mom dies during child birth (she was giving birth to Higuchi's sister, not Higuchi herself), and her Dad gets assassinated way later, like by the time Higuchi is 12 or even a bit older. That should be concurrent with Mōri's rise to the boss position, when his position is slightly more stable. The guy was a neglectful alcoholic, and was only going to lead the family to ruin. The kids that looked so painfully similar to their mother were suffering, so Mōri wasn't above, or more accurately couldn't help but leave him to rot. He becomes Higuchi's, and her sister's benefactor, gives them a new surname to keep the assassins off their back, and visits sometimes with gifts and makes sure they have all the basic necessities that a kid should have, he even lets them go to school.

He keeps both of them away from the underworld for as long as he could in tribute to their late mother. He was heavily against having Higuchi recruited into the Mafia, but she was so heavily insisting on joining for a reason he cannot stop after she found out he was the boss (read: Akutagawa).

He decided to make her hate the Mafia, to convince her to leave, even if it meant being hard on her. He was possibly trying to convince her, and those around her, that as long as she was a Mafioso, she'd be a target for assassination in an indirect, kind of “I never said that, they just jumped to that conclusion.” way. He was being the bad guy to make sure she was out of the Mafia. He was kind of indirectly convincing her into believing she wasn't suitable, or even useful for and to the Mafia.

I'm pretty sure Asagiri was still figuring out Mōri's character, but something that stuck with me is that Mōri might have a personal grudge against Akutagawa; he might've figured out that he was the reason Higuchi stayed in the Mafia, so he assumed that if Akutagawa was out of the picture in a way Higuchi could never save him, she'll have nothing left in the Mafia, and would decide to leave soon. This could be a secondary explanation, aside from the one we got in the manga, as to why he gave Akutagawa up so easily despite his worth to the Mafia, even going as far as to call him a 'liability'. However, Mōri didn't put Higuchi's determination into account, and Akutagawa ended up surviving.

The 'Mōri dislikes Akutagawa' theory could be debunked if someone brings up the drama CD, but like, pookie. Higuchi was going to take him to take care of his health somewhere either way, so I bet Mōri sent Chūya along with them to make sure that Higuchi doesn't have to be the one to bathe Akutagawa (inner protective father instincts are seeing the light of day, oh crap.). Also I guess Mōri eventually decided to leave Akutagawa to live out the rest of his days for Higuchi's sake, he was going to die anyway, and his reckless streak could serve to quicken that.

I feel like Mōri's treatment towards Higuchi in the manga definitely mellowed out later as Asagiri started to figure Mōri out better, and you can even see Higuchi being one of the first to come to his aid in the cannibalism arc. He would only call someone he trusted enough to see him in such a vulnerable position.

Along with that, just look at how freaking worried she is for him, if my insensible theory has any credibility, she knew this guy as the first decent father figure in her life, she definitely has feelings of attachment towards Mōri.

In wan, their shenanigans are so family coded. In her Mayoi beach card, Mori and Elise were standing behind her (they look like when your extended family turns up for events instead of your actual parents) while she was playing beach volleyball; with the way he looked all he had left was to wear "I'm not a stepdad, I'm the DAD THAT STEPPED UP" shirt istg. Chūya is there to make sure everyone retains their skin's health (except him). He looks happy though so it's alright, a tan would look good on him. Come to think of it, I feel like Chūya is always around whenever Higuchi is there, especially in wan... Could it be that Mōri instructed him to keep a closer eye on Higuchi...? To ensure her safety like some sort of bodyguard (when ironically she is the one who is supposed to be Akutagawa's bodyguard)...? Yk what I should probably stop before I come up with more conspiracy theories. At this rate I will be arrested for brain rotting too hard.

Bonus: Elise drew this, and Higuchi looks the prettiest out of them all, and the only one actually smiling, which could reflect just how much Mōri cares about her deep down. If this theory has any flicker of credibility, then beast would be a wormwhole to try and explore DJDJJDJ.

[ehh-is-the-name]

II 18 AM I RIGHT FOLKS????

OH MY FCJING GODD, I didn't visit this site for like 4 days just to not get spoiled and that was THE CORRECT DECISION!!!

WE STAY WINNING!!!! TAKE MY VIDEO AND GIFS!!!!

First of all, let's just all take a minute to appreciate the best part <3

There was the pg line later, and I really don't blame them. I mean... come on now this felt graphic. It's literally like if someones guts was splayed across the ground after an explosion. I love it but holy shit. Anyway my favourite gif on my PC:

Him getting his comeuppance is what I needed. I can die peacefully now <3

At the same time, I really can't get over this-

I mean, just look at the way he's staring- He definitely wants a bite.

= - - =

Now that I got that out of my system let me start from the top.

I can't be the only one to think that he might've been thinking about... Ya know. Let's just say season 1 finale-ing it again once he realised that Cobs wasn't holding him. Though that might be projection, he was probably just looking at everything truly being gone.

THIS SCENE ACTUALLY GAVE ME CHILLS. MePhone was so silent for every part up to this, hearing him sound absolutely petrified to the cut to the stabbing is ACTUALLY terrifying. God, it was like the suitcase being torn in half scene except real-

The abusive alcoholic father memes were right.

^ Quite literally my reaction to the first half of the ep today. Literally guess he's really good at hitting. Cobs can't swing a sword (thank god) but apparently, he can hit hard enough to fucking shatter glass in one hit.

This one too... Bro's cared about them so much and I can't with this shit man- I FUCKING CAN'T!!! LITERALLY MAKING SURE NOBODY COULD DIE OVER THIS SHIT AGAIN-

I actually can't y'all. I finished this ep like 4 hours ago and I still can't unhear or unsee these scenes.

"I made you so I can unmake you"??? "I desurve this"????? "You wanted my approval but I didn't care if you lived or died"!!! HOLY FUCKIN SHIT-

Sure, I could pull a book outta Cobs' and be like "lol he's dead who cares about a dead man" but DAWGS I can't stop thinking about the layers of trauma literally everyone's going to deal with specifically mephone because I'm a mephone head, sorry not sorry at all. In the span of a day, he watched everyone he cared about die, come back to life, his brother die, his abuser die, and move on from the reminder of his abuser (inanimate insanity). Like that's a lot to happen in a day guys. That's A FUCKTON to happen in a day. BOX IS ALIVE TOO- LIKE C'MON THiS IS CUFKCING CRASZY.

I don't even know what to say about this scene, I just really like it. Maybe it's 'cause he pulled out his kernels. Moving on.

This scene fuckin' gets me- His fuckin' "THEY'RE STILL ALIVE????" Will always get me. Maybe it's 'cause of all the talk of them being dead it just gets me that he got to know that they weren't, and that they didn't die <3

Top 10 scenes that make me glad Cobs exploded. I can't believe he fucking died for our sins (I'm still coping).

THE WAY HE WAS WITH MEPAD BEFORE HE WOKE UP </3 I can't believe they fucking killed him after showing this in the beginning.

That transition from early s2 to late s2 style was phenomenal, but just look at the scene- MePhone essentially talking to a brick wall about the show is killing me. MePhone probably felt more close to MePad than MePad did about him. I say that but I'm not saying MePad didn't care about him on some level. But y'all know. Also not overlooking the "Enhancing Obedience Emulation" installation either. I guess that's what makes him dying for our sins more meaningful. I can't believe he's fucking dead,.

Close to lastly 'cause I'm runing out of imgs in this post and I want to look through the tag now, I'M SO HAPPY TOILET'S ALIVE!!! ANd apparently not made by Mephone? Like MePad was talking about toilet when he showed up and idk- maybe I gotta watch that scene over again- Idon't know y'all. I'm feeling so many things this series finale.

OH OH AND THE SCENE WITH BOT'S LEGS AND FAN GOING "This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it" WITH BOW IN THE FOREGROUND. IT FUCKING BETTER BE!!!! I NEED THEM TO TALK!!! PLEASE!

Oh and actual last thing, I actually SCREAMED when 3gs came on screen here.

Everything about this scene. There were many objects being mirrored, like Box and Suitcase, but 3gs and Mephone being face to face with breaks made the title click. They've always been mirrors of each other and I didn't even realise it. They're both free and it's genuinely beautiful. I hope the demolish Meeple as an act of freeing everyone there. I want the metags free, I want mecintosh free, everyone. Very glad 4s still exists inside of Mephone, it was so nice to see him, but I really want everyone to be free. Can't believe Mepad fuckin' died for our sins.... Everyone grew in someway or another, I think.

All in all, I'm just glad the corn man's dead <3

I didn't make popcorn but he did burn!!

Happy inanimate insanity y'all! We've made it to the end of an era <3

[autistichalsin]

Idk if its silly but Halsin, that little banter with him and Wyll, made me rethink how i treat/view people with alcohol addiction. My father was a raging alcoholic who abused me mentally and physically. He died because of his addiction and on the day that happened i didn't even cry. I wasn't at his funeral and never visited his grave. Because of what he did to me, i, to this day, struggle with even being near someone under the influence without shaking and/or crying. Because of that, i had a negative bias against people who drink, like an automatic you drink= you are trash, unworthy of living because you are poisoning the lives of those around you, and that was my stance for more than ten years. But here comes Halsin with his history of alcohol abuse, a character that i LOVE and could not apply the same logic to, because i know that he is kind, compassionate, soft and a whole bunch of other things- more than worthy of living, for sure! Even the thought that someone might've said some things that i said to heavy drinkers in my life !!!to him!!! at his lowest made my skin crawl. He is a fictional character, of course, but still. He made me think that maybe not all of them are like my father once was.

That's definitely interesting because I had a similar experience- I've been hurt by many addicts in my life, as well. But Halsin let me sort of see the other side, and that not every addict is going to be an abusive person, and that a lot of them are trying hard to break free from those habits. He helped me gain a lot of empathy for addicts.

[his-tamine]

Can we know more about Eden's trauma? I'm so into their story

Good question, anon :] tbh I've been pretty reluctant to go into too much detail about Eden's past on here, since even though he's a fictional character, the stuff that happened to him is more along the lines of "realistic fiction" - meaning that the mentioned events *can* occur in real life - and therefore could trigger real people who might've experienced anything similar.

BUT I think it should be fine, so long as I add a trigger warning. // TW for talk of: physical abuse, domestic violence, verbal abuse, death while in labor, murder, alcoholism, & a brief mention of hypothetical miscarriage. If any of the things listed trigger you, maybe don't read this one to be safe, ight? The short & sweet version is that Eden's father and stepmother are some stank bitches. and Eden's sister, Forrest's mother, & Eden's adoptive grandma are queens.

If you stuck around, here we go. (This is SUPER long, so I'm sorry ab that) Eden Ash Harmon's birth - February 5th, 2000 - was a long, painful, & ultimately fatal one for his mother, Lauren May Harmon. various complications occurred, and she ended up not even surviving long enough to get to see him draw his first breath. His father, Troy Harmon, was devastated over his wife's passing, and overwhelmed by the prospect of not only becoming a new parent, but now becoming a single parent. He had to grieve, whilst trying to raise Eden. which was even harder, because he was born prematurely and of course, smaller and weaker than normal, so he required a lot of extra care. This took a serious toll on him, and Troy began to unfortunately rely on alcohol - a reliance which only got worse over time, and developed into just alcoholism. By the time Eden was just three years old, his father had grown to resent him, and blame him for all of the struggles he faced. and by the time Eden was 4, he'd unfortunately begun expressing his resentment aloud. He'd say really nasty things like how he wished Lauren had just miscarried instead of giving her life to birth Eden, because he'd rather have his wife back than have Eden. To Eden's face. Both drunk, and sober. Making sure Eden knew exactly how much of a "burden" he was. Which, of course, was really harmful. Troy was also physically abusive toward him, doing things such as putting out cigarettes on his skin - the burn scars of which Eden still has to this day, though they're now more faint. Then, one day Troy brought home a woman called Sharon, and introduced the two to each other. It wasn't uncommon for Troy to bring women home for one-night-stands, but come to find out, Troy and Sharon had actually been dating for around three months before this introduction. Eden, at first, was honestly excited. He thought this meant his father would be happy again, and he may get a mother.

The first part seemed true for a while. Troy was much calmer than he'd previously been, but that didn't last. because Sharon soon got pregnant. Now Sharon was originally indifferent towards kids for the most part, and because of this, didn't become too close with Eden at the time, but she found herself wanting to keep the baby. The news of the pregnancy triggered Troy, and sent him into a panic. all of the memories of the day Eden was born and he lost his first wife, came flooding back. He didn't know how to handle this properly, and started to behave aggressive towards Sharon too, as he had with Eden. He hadn't physically hurt her, but he was getting close to it (think, punching walls or throwing things - aggressive hand gestures, etc.) and it soon dawned on Sharon that the home was not safe anymore.

So, she planned to leave without telling him. Eden himself still isn't sure why, but she opted to take him with her. maybe it was pity, maybe it was newfound maternal instinct due to having her own baby on the way, who knows? well, not long after her baby - & Eden's younger half sister - Beatrice Harmon, was born, while Troy was out one evening, Sharon packed what she could of their belongings - only the important things & clothing - that she could fit in her purse, & made for her mother's house, maybe 2 hours away.

Sharon's mother, Susan, was - for lack of a better term - an angel. Though they weren't blood-related, she immediately welcomed Eden as her grandson, with open arms. She stayed with them every day while Sharon was at work, and actively engaged with and played with them. Eden even had his first birthday celebration there when he turned five. This was by far the best year of his entire life at the time.

Well, of course, that also didn't last. (Here's where things take an even darker turn, so if you need to, refer back to the tw.)

Troy found them. Susan was behind the corner, fixing lunch for Eden and Bea, when he showed up, and broke in. In broad daylight. Eden completely froze at first, unable to even believe that this was happening. Troy destroyed things, and stomped all throughout the small home, calling Sharon's name. But Sharon, ironically, wasn't even home - she was at work. Susan yelled for him to leave, and grabbed a kitchen knife in order to protect the kids, then dialed 9-1-1.

Troy flew into a rage, and injured her, very badly. She was only in her mid-sixties, but she was still an older woman. She kept screaming for Eden to take his sister and run to the neighbors, since the front door was still ajar, but Eden couldn't yet hear anything. His ears were ringing, and his body was completely paralyzed with fear. Troy injured one of her legs badly enough that she couldn't get up off of the ground, and then ended up knocking her unconscious.

when Eden could finally make his body move, all he could think was not to stop Troy. Stop him from hurting Susan any further, and not to let him lay a finger on his baby sister. So, he grabbed the kitchen knife and did what he had to. The end result wasn't immediate however, and - still pumped full of adrenaline - Troy ended up injuring Eden quiet badly as well. Then, he realized how badly injured he *himself* was, panicked, and promptly took off on foot.

Eden was unable to move due to his injuries, but still semi-conscious. Susan was gravely injured, and he wasn't sure whether or not she was even still alive. Bea ended up being completely physically unharmed. Neighbors came outside, found them, and dialed 9-1-1, successfully hitting 'call' this time. All three were rushed to the hospital to be examined & treated. The hospital also contacted Sharon, and she got there as fast as she could.

At first, Sharon was just so relieved that her mother and Eden were alive, and that Bea wasn't injured. But after a day & a half, authorities found Troy. Not alive. He'd failed to get medical attention for his own injuries, obviously for fear of going to prison. When Sharon found that out, she was - surprisingly - devastated. apparently at one point, she'd gotten it in her head that they could reconcile someday in the near future, and had - stupidly - given him strong hints as to where they were all staying.

and of course, now that he was dead, all those plans went up in smoke. So, who does she blame? If you said Eden, you win! :,]

Eden, still being a kid - and a severely traumatized one, at that - of course did the same thing he did the last time he was blamed for someone's death, and believed that it really was his fault. So now, in his mind, he'd killed *both* his parents (which of course was not the case - it was not his fault at all.)

Sharon took custody of he and Beatrice, as she was pretty much all they had left. And like last time, she let her resentment fester, and turn into physical and verbal abuse. Only toward Eden though. Bea grew up witnessing this, and since her older brother was literally nothing but nice to her - and practically raised her due to Sharon's neglect of both kids - she fortunately stood up for him whenever she got the opportunity.

Susan held on as long as she could - until Eden was eleven - but eventually succumbed to her internal injuries. Infections played a role. Eden was forbidden from attending her memorial service, by Sharon, because - in her words - "She wasn't even really your grandma." She forced Bea to attend with her, and left Eden home alone that day.

Fast forward, and Eden's sixteen. Sharon demands that he start paying rent, or else she'll kick him out. Eden's not stupid, so he at first refuses, stating the obvious - that she couldn't kick out a sixteen-year-old. but she does anyway. she kicks him out, then calls the cops, and reports him as a runaway. Making him out to be an unruly teenager, who just wears her out all the time, and runs away when asked to do simple house chores such as cleaning his room (lies, lies, lies.)

She did this multiple times, and every time, the cops believed her. Eden got sick of it, and finally agreed to get a job so that he could pay rent. He went to work at a shitty local coffee shop, as a barista. There, he met Forrest! :] Yes, we finally get to some GOOD news.

At first, they didn't talk much, but after a while, Forrest noticed Eden struggling with certain things, and that whenever he asked for help, he was either ignored or insulted for "not knowing how to do his job." So, he offered to help him, since he knew his way around the place by then. That's how their interactions started. Coworkers to friends to lovers, basically.

Eden began spending every lunch with Forrest, listening to him infodump. everyone else thought Forrest's constant yapping was "annoying," but Eden was just glad to have someone who wanted to talk to him. Especially someone his age, and especially someone friendly.

By the time Eden was 17, he'd already filled Forrest in briefly about his home life, and Forrest and his mother Margaret, had made it clear to Eden that if it came down to it, he was welcome to stay with them. Sharon was constantly ranting about how she couldn't wait for the day when she was no longer legally responsible for him anymore, so Eden prepared. He made sure Bea still had a way to keep in touch with him whenever she needed, and he packed one bag of essentials, and kept it hidden until his 18th birthday.

On his 18th, he was immediately kicked out. I'm talking 2 o'clock in the morning, woken up, and told to get out and never come back. So, he did. He went to stay with Forrest & Margaret, and stayed there for 3 years. During which he remained working with Forrest at the coffee shop, and offered to pay Margaret rent, to which she laughed and told him to save his money, and he didn't need to do that.

Margaret too is an angel, fr. Anyways, at 21, he and Forrest were dating and decided to move in together. And ofc, Beatrice later ended up moving out right away at 18 because she couldn't stand her mother. And the rest is history. :]

I always say, the silliest goose has the most fucked up backstory

[purplebass]

Lila's Backstory Theory

As I talked about Lila with @bluecichlid, they raised a good point about her backstory. Lila was first introduced to us as a thief, but she seemed educated and even well-read.

So this theory deals with the possibility that Lila's mother might've been an aristocrat or had a title and Lila doesn't even know about that or has completely concealed this bit from her past and V wanted to use it in the future and that's why it never came up.

@my-ruthless-zoyalai I'm tagging you too because you asked about this theory!

This isn't something to take from granted in XIX London, because we know that around that time, if you were a peasant, you either worked in a factory as a child or you were a thief. You can take a look at Dicken's Oliver Twist to see how orphaned children lived in London (it is set 30 years after Lila was a child, but things hadn't changed much for kids). If you were a poor kid, you didn't have many options to survive. Surely, school and education was the last thing on Georgian kids' minds. There were exceptions, of course, but I don't think that's the case with Lila.

Lila often says that her mother read William Blake's poems to her before bed. This is so specific, and while Blake had published his poems before Lila was even born and he was pretty known, would a peasant appreciate him? No offence to Georgian London peasants, but I doubt it. A lot of peasants didn't even know how to read, and poetry is harder to understand.

Lila's mother might've been an estimator of literature, but my idea is that she might've come from a rich family and that is why she was familiar with Blake. I'm not saying a filthy rich family, but modest enough for Lila's mother to be educated and pass a little of that culture down to her daughter. She might've even been an aristocrat with a title in decline, for all we know. Because aristocrats didn't work. They only inherited a fortune and if they weren't careful with their money and didn't make any investments, the money would end. So Lila's mother might've had a dowry/small fortune when she married Lila's father, but he squandered all their funds on alcohol and possibly other things and they had probably a lot of debts. Maybe Lila's father was not an aristocrat and by marrying him, her mom lost her dowry. I don't know. Lila's mother might've also died because they didn't have the money to pay for a doctor or medicine.

ETA to add: Lila's parents might've had a reversed "Persuasion" by Jane Austen situation. Her parents might've opposed their marriage because they came from different classes, but they got married anyway. In Persuasion, the fmc wants to marry the mc, who is a naval officer, but her father opposes because they come from different social classes. Seven years later, the situation is reversed because the fmc's family is in debt and they need money and the mc became a rich and respectable captain. In the end they get married and the fmc joins the mc on his voyages on his ship. Maybe something like that happened to Lila's parents as well. Have you ever thought that Lila might've wanted to become a captain because her father was tied to the naval world? Also, this "Persuasion" situation also reminds me of Kell and Lila's seven years after situation. He is also a prince who decided to travel aboard a ship to be with the person he loves, who is a captain. Lila stayed with her father because he was the only one left, but without her mother's protection (because it's clear Lila remembers her mother fondly and still grieves her) she was left at the mercy of her absent father until he literally sold her to pay a tab. After then, she began her thief life/identity.

So what I think is that Lila might be an aristocrat and have a title, but maybe she 1) doesn't even know 2) she knows but she never told this to anyone because it's a part of her Grey London life and from a past she chose to leave behind. When Lila meets Kell, he also hides that he is a prince until they are in Red London.

Parallels that seem to sustain this theory

Lila has parallels with other characters. Not just Kell, but also Alucard. Parallels might be a clue about personal stories.

Lila the hypothetical "poor aristocrat" was sold by her father to pay a tab and this event marks the official beginning of her "thief/commoner" identity.

Kell the hypothetical "poor commoner" was sold by his parents because he was Antari and this event marks the official beginning of his "prince/magician" identity.

When we meet Alucard, Lila also believes he's just a privateer, but then we find out that he is a royal and he was falsely accused of being a pirate because of his father and brother.

You can see how the stories of these three characters seem to mirror each other in different ways.

In Threads, there were two moments that stuck with me that also reinforced this "Lila is an aristocrat" theory.

In this book, Lila "took on" Alucard's previous identity of a privateer. But she's also an Antari like Kell. She is also an aristocrat by association with an acquired title because at the palace everyone knows that she is Kell's partner. They call her "lady" and she hates that and the palace life. On another post I wrote how she might hate this because she doesn't like labels nor wants to just be "Kell's lady", which is true. But what if Lila used to live in a pretty house with servants doing things for her until her father brought their family to ruins? So maybe that's why Lila finds the palace so triggering and runs out of it most of the time. Does it remind her of her lost childhood?

This last bit is totally mere speculation. Lila might not even know about her heritage, and maybe she will meet her father again in future Threads, and that's how we will know.

The second bit that might've hinted (or maybe I saw too much into it) is a line Ned tells Tes when she's about to leave. He asks her to say hi to Kell and Lila, and says something like "Kell is a prince, but Lila is not a princess." I don't believe she is a princess but this is a title, and it may be a hint: 1) she has a title she doesn't know about 2) she will become a princess if she marries Kell? Because the title of princess can be acquired by marriage. The title Alucard has in Threads, "consort," is also a title used to refer to the partner of a royal who isn't a monarch in his own right.

This is mere speculation for now, but I hope we do get answers in future Threads, it would be amazing to know more of Lila's backstory!

[consanguinitatum]

Rare David Tennant audios: another Did He or Didn't He? in The Tragedy of Two....whatsits?

I've talked about David's rarer audio work before (referring to the magical Tuesdays & Sundays, which I've covered earlier) but today I thought I'd switch gears and talk about one of the very few audio works of his I don't have and would love to find. This particular one is special because I've never seen it listed on any forum as an audio David ever did. I popped over to see if it was listed at the venerable David Tennant fan site and nope, they don't have it listed. Neither does VK's usually stellar David Tennant Asylum.

But he did it.

Before continuing, I need to first mention dramatist and author Jane Rogers. Rogers wrote the book The Island and worked on its radio adaptation in 2002. She also adapted The Beach of Falesa and The Ebb Tide from Terror in the South Seas by Robert Louis Stevenson. The Island was broadcast 22 Oct 2002 on BBC Radio 4 as the Radio 4 Friday Play, and the Stevenson duo was broadcast in Dec 2016 on BBC Radio 4. David has played roles in all of these audio plays.

Let’s keep Jane in mind for now, shall we? For here is where my journey began.

I first learned about this mystery audio's existence years ago from David's profile in the programme for his 1999 play Vassa. Listed among his radio credits was a play called The Tragedy Of Two Virtues.

WELL.

Knowing for certain I'd never seen this play listed elsewhere in his credits, I began to hunt. During the few years of frustrating on again and off again searching which followed I saw the words "Two Ambitions" pop up now and again. I kept dismissing this as a 'close-but-no-cigar' kind of thing - until finally I didn't, and started taking an alternate possibility more seriously. Perhaps the programme had just mis-named the thing?

To that end I did some reading on Hardy's A Tragedy of Two Ambitions. The story is about two brothers, Joshua and Cornelius Halborough, who want to escape from their humble surroundings and get away from the alcoholic, irresponsible father who threatens to destroy everything they've worked for. If you're interested, you can read further details about the plot here.

I also needed to narrow down the date when David might've done this audio, so I went back to the programme it had been mentioned in - the Jan 1999 Vassa programme. It was there, but it wasn’t in any published programmes from David's previous play (Real Inspector Hound/Black Comedy, Apr to Oct 1998). That helped me place the audio's possible production date between Oct 1998 and Jan 1999.

But this possible late 1990s time frame worried me. After 2000, the BBC policy was to archive all "performance programmes" on CD, so (theoretically) plays after that date should exist in the BBC archive. But before then? Oh boy. Well over 90% of broadcast radio plays were not kept. Ughhhh!

But onwards, research-wise. I dove into the BBC Genome Project to see if an audio production called The Tragedy of Two Ambitions fell in that time frame, and lo and behold it had! But it wasn't the full court press "AH HA!" moment I'd hoped; while David's name wasn't listed in its entry, it did give me the dramatist's name. So I determined it was best to just go to the source and ask.

(Re)enter Jane Rogers.

When I finally managed to contact her, my first question to her was, “Was a young David Tennant one of the cast members in the piece? I ask because he did an elusive audio in the same time frame that's been (possibly) mislabeled A Tragedy of Two Virtues, and I suspect your piece might be the correct title?”

Initially she told me she wasn't at all sure he was in it, because her first recollection of meeting David was for the audio adaptation of The Island. She told me, "As far as I remember, the first time I met David Tennant was when he played Callum in my radio drama The Island, adapted from my own novel. He was a young and relatively unknown actor at that point, and was absolutely brilliant. As, of course, he has continued to be!"

But later, after she found her script for the play, she was able to confirm for me that David was indeed a cast member in the audio - a fact which surprised and delighted her as much as it did me. Rogers said David played the lead part of Joshua, and the play had been recorded on 21 Nov 1998. And here's a cool story: she said the fact it was David had probably slipped her mind because the play was recorded in West Country accents, and she strongly associated David with his natural Scottish accent. West Country, huh? Now that's an accent I'd like to hear him do!

A Tragedy of Two Ambitions was broadcast on 7 Dec 1998 as the fourth of four episodes of Life's Little Ironies, a BBC Radio 4 Afternoon Play. It was 45 minutes in length. Other cast members were Alex Lowe, Abigail Docherty, Anthony Jackson, Susan Brown, and Charlie Simpson. Its producer was Clive Brill for Watchmaker Productions, and it was recorded at The Soundhouse in Shepherds Bush, London.

It's an audio play that I would dearly love to have in my collection. I've searched high and low. Unless someone recorded it back in 1998 and saved it, it's likely gone. But stranger things have happened. After all, old DW episodes are still being found, right?

Now - if you've stuck with me this long, I've got a goody to tell. But it's not about The Tragedy Of Two Ambitions - it's about The Island (and if you haven't listened to that play go forth and do it! It's a lovely piece). Rogers told me The Island was recorded on the Isle of Skye because with a small cast, it was often cheaper to record on location than rent a studio in London. The cast stayed at the Kinloch Lodge and recorded in the hotel and on a small private beach. But recording on location meant the cast couldn't access fancy sound effects, so sound effects were done on the fly. While on that private beach, Rogers said, the cast noticed a ruined rowing boat half-full of water. David splashed around in it when they needed watery effects. So when you listen to the play and you hear splashing water, that's our dear David!

And thus ends my story of the mystery of The Tragedy Of Two Ambitions (and the tiny treat of a behind-the-scenes story about The Island).

If anyone can find that audio, contact me. I beg of you!

[valentinehorrors]

Casey's Fears Part 2

(TW: transphobia, bullying, death)

Cave mouth.

Not something new he's heard, and to those who ask what happened, he gives a simple explanation, a hockey accident.

Not a lie, but not the full truth. And when one talks with an expert in in lying, that doesn't fly.

He almost says he doesn't want to talk about it, but something about those sharp, ice blue eyes that stare through any farce he could ever muster up compels him to open up once again.

His second true fear, being found out.

No one in the area knows of his original birth gender, he's learned his lesson.

While he doesn't remember much of the events after he was locked in his room, he remembers all too well the days following.

Casey's mom was, justifiably, very upset. His dad tried to blame the alcohol, how he was raised, that he just doesn't understand. Every excuse under the sun, he threw all of them out, attempting to stay afloat. But there really was no excuse to keep a whole garbage bag full of rat corpses and then spread said corpses on his son's bed.

"If she wants to be a man so bad then she has to learn to man up!"

That one earned him a firm slap. It was the worst argument Casey had ever witnessed. He slept in his sister's room that night, even she didn't fully know what had happened.

The next day, Casey's mom had told both him and his sister to pack up, that they were leaving. Going somewhere far away from that horrible old man that she herself had been to young and too in love to see how horrible he truly was. He had just woken up and was only taking about every other word but he got the memo.

"When you fall in love one day... Please... be sure you know who they are, who they truly are..."

Something like that at least.

Next thing he knew, he and his sister had turned packing into a game, distracted as what was once arguing turned to begging, Casey's father begging to stay afloat in the boat that he had started sinking in the first place. Casey's mom was going out because she had... something to do before moving them out, he struggled to remember, he was young and his sister even younger.

She said she was going to be back for them at ten.

8:00 AM

He made breakfast for his sister, she didn't really want to eat it, but he managed.

8:30 AM

Their father started... sobbing? That was new... and caused Case's stomach to churn, he didn't feel like throwing up again. He convinced his sister to listen to music, drown it out, that would work...

9:00 AM

He started banging at their door, begging forgiveness. A grown adult, a bumbling, crying mess. Casey might've considered it if he wasn't using the same breath to throw more excuses at him.

"I saw some shit back in my day! Every man needs to see some shit to toughen up! That's just how it goes!"

And yet...

"I can't have my girls taken away from me please!"

Yeah...

9:55 AM

Casey was hugging his sister close, seemed like the old man had gone bac to drowning his sorrows, he could vaguely hear him trying to call his mom again...

Just a bit longer...

10:00 AM

Any second now...

10:10 AM

His sister was worried, he swore she was coming back any second now...

10:30 AM

Any...

10:40 AM

Second...

11:00 AM

Now...

12:27 PM

...

There were lights outside...

After his mother's death, things changed drastically. His father went back to being quiet, but he was... overwhelmingly supportive. Legal name change, hormones, all paid for. He figures it's in the form of some kind of apology.

So they moved, brand new clean slate. Casey Jones, a punk kid, always getting into fights, blood running a bit too hot for his own good. Your average rebellious teen boy.

He had promised his mom that he would live as himself and be damn happy doing it.

"..."

Casey sighed as he finished his story, leaning back until he was now laying down on the cold concrete rooftop, staring at the dazzling night sky, stars glimmering as though they could see him and wanted him to know.

Mikey didn't respond for a bit, allowing the silence to rest over them. But his eyes never left the human, his cold gaze never left his human.

Eventually, those cold eyes appeared in Casey's vision as Mikey looked down at him, "And your teeth?"

Casey paused before nodding "oh, yeah, that was the whole point of that." He chuckled dryly, "So, few years later, I'm fully me... 'scept some assholes caught me changing after hockey practice... saw my binder..." He huffed as he moved his hands under his head, his own eyes moving from the vibrant stars to those frozen lakes the turtle had for eyes. He got quieter, voice a hushed whisper as he spilled secrets he had never breathed to anyone else before. "They called me a freak... They beat me... Doctor said I was lucky, didn't swallow any of the teeth..."

It was a subtle change, it's not like Mikey's eyes shifted dramatically or changed color, but the way he held them always changed when he let his mask drop. They got sharper, more observant, and cold, so very cold. Mikey's gaze could freeze the ocean, he almost would feel as though his blood was freezing, crystallizing, every time he felt those icy eyes on him, sending shivers through him.

"Humans truly do amaze me at times..." His voice was different too, his true voice lacked any actual emotion or indication of tone, it was also slightly deeper, as the turtle lightly raised his voice when he had his mask up.

No one else got to see this Mikey, no one else got to see those true cold eyes. Not even his brothers, all living with a lie.

The real Michelangelo was many things, numb, cold, observant, apathetic, curious...

And dark.

He wasn't an idiot, there's a reason that whenever he saw Mikey's true smile, it made Casey's hair stand on end, his gut saying one thing:

D A N G E R

Casey had two main fears, rats, and being outed.

Casey has three fears.

[juvederm]

josh thing kinda old from my docs

josh has self control issues, judging by the amount of alcohol he drinks in the prologue (depending on how it's interpreted).

he's a very sensitive person, something that isn't picked up on right away because his exterior is very stoic and kind of like a mask. he has a very bold sense of humor, mostly sex jokes and prodding at other people when they're flustered or scared; likes to jokingly humiliate people or make jokes at their expense. because of this he's described as a ‘schemer’ by sam, and often blamed for any mishaps that occur. ie, when matt and emily find the pig head and the welcome back note, matt’s first assumption is that it is chris or josh.

he has very protective instincts that eventually fuel his vengeance and the reasoning for his prank, due to the level of closeness with his sisters. he values family very much, which also plays into it.

he's reserved, and is described as ‘a guy who's not going to just ask for help’ by sam. chris also says he doesn't know ‘how he keeps it all together', meaning josh has fooled his friends into thinking that he is okay. he constantly says ‘i want us to have a good time’ and uses the phrase ‘like we used to’ at least once, implying a yearning for the past, which he tells himself he cannot change in order to cope.

however, when he spirals, he can't pull himself out of it even with the manifestation of it being someone he trusts, AKA dr hill, his therapist who he emails his plans to.

josh is also anxiety ridden, becoming instantly alarmed when sam asserts that she will check out the noise in the basement.

this is due to his prank and the storage he had in the basement for his prank. he planned it intricately, and gets mad when it goes south. ie swearing loudly if he loses sam, or punching ashley if she stabs him (“i got so mad.”). he seems to prefer that people see what he wants them to see.

josh is also described as a loner, but had a party animal streak in his freshman year of college which could just be because he was in college and it was the popular thing to do, or more likely, he's a fun oriented person and is the main event organizer of the group; probably just wants to have fun (means of distraction maybe?)

josh is also implied to be an alcoholic, judging by the empty beer bottles around his lair. he's attempted suicide at least twice, according to an excerpt in hannah’s diary and his medical records stating a “suicide risk”.

his loner qualities probably stem from his reserved nature, keeping to himself and not asking for help, although he did reach out to sam after the twins’ disappearance, because sam was close to hannah and it's implied they bonded and became very close because of it. but during the trip, josh keeps his distance with his friends, and is very cold to chris at some points. he also says he and chris “haven't been the best of friends lately”, maybe implying that they didn't talk much after the twins' disappearance. it could've played a part in josh going to sam, however, it's not that likely, since the two were already pretty close as friends already.

josh also has a habit of pushing people away (“and at every turn you choose to push them away”) when they're 'willing to help’.

another factor of his loneliness might be due to the fact that he doesn't have a very close relationship with his parents, more specifically his father. he might've had to take care of things himself, which is why he is called an ‘older brother’ to chris, and is described as someone who takes the helm, like a leader.

josh is more often than not the person who organizes events and parties, and his focus is to ‘make sure everyone has a good time’. he might be extroverted in that sense, but mostly introverted when he's not around a crowd.

[alyssaforevermore]

Hounded ↦ Bellamy Blake 5. Twilight's Last Gleaming

Synopsis: After being locked away for eight months, Athena Kane alongside 99 other criminals is sent to the ground to find out if it's survivable. The ground was the dream, but who knew it would turn out to be a nightmare?

Show: The 100

Pairings: Bellamy Blake x OC

Warnings: major series spoilers (full series will be covered), use of profanity, descriptions of violence, death, blood and gore, and mentions of drugs and alcohol.

Tags: @mellxander1993 @sweetz1919 @jordangdelacruz

Masterlist

After Monty's attempt at contacting the Ark had fried all of our wristbands, I found myself sitting by the fire, staring into it blankly.

The first person I thought about was my mother. If she didn't know before the dropship descended, she had to have found out soon after. She was probably second in charge, keeping an eye on our vitals. Did she think I was dead? Or, was she still holding onto hope? My mind then drifted to my father, whom I was sure would have accepted that I was gone for good. Finally, I thought of my grandmother, who probably still had no idea what was going on. It wasn't like she visited me often, usually too busy tending to the Last Tree.

As I thought of my family, slowly beginning to accept that I'd never see them again, Fox's voice grabbed my attention.

"Guys, look!"

I turned my head, following her finger pointed up at the Sky.

"A shooting star?" Another delinquent asked.

Suddenly, the "star" began to light up, a ring of fire surrounding it. "That's not a shooting star." I mumbled, standing up. "It's a pod."

Octavia quickly came to my side. "Do you think it's from the Ark?"

"Bellamy, get out here!" Fox called out.

Bellamy soon emerged from his tent, shirtless with Roma and Bree following behind him. "What's going on?"

"They're coming to help us," Jones smiled. "Now we can finally kick some grounder ass!"

"Please tell me they brought down shampoo," Roma quipped.

I rolled my eyes, moving closer to Bellamy with Octavia following close behind. "What's the plan?"

Bellamy looked around before letting out a sigh. He led a few of us towards our main tent. It wasn't long before the few of us had put together a plan.

"If it cleared the ridge it's probably near the lake,"

"We're ready to go," Octavia said.

"No one's going anywhere. Not while it's dark, it isn't safe." Bellamy replied. "We'll head out at first light."

Mumbles ensued as most of the group piled out of the tent. I watched as Octavia stepped in front of Bellamy, stopping him from leaving. "What if the Grounders get to it first? Bell, we should go now."

"Octavia's right," I said. "We can't afford to lose any supplies they might've sent down here in that pod."

Bellamy's face tensed. "I said we wait until sunrise."

As he pushed past Octavia and exited the tent, the two of us exchanged a worried glance. "He's hiding something." I finally said.

Octavia nodded. "He's definitely hiding something."

...

I spent the majority of the rest of the night waiting for Clarke and Finn to return, them having left camp not long after the wristbands had fried. Finally I noticed them heading through the newly built gate, looking around frantically.

Standing from the log I was sat on, I made my way across camp, reaching them just as Fox had.

"Looks like everyone's up," Finn remarked.

"Did you guys see it?" Fox asked. "It had to have been from the Ark, right?"

Clarke nodded. "Grab your stuff. We're gonna go find out."

I shook my head. "Bellamy said we have to wait until sunrise."

"Where is he?" Clarke asked, as I pointed to his tent.

Clarke made her way towards Bellamy's tent, Finn and I following close behind. She pushed the flaps of the tent to the side, being the first of the three of us to step inside.

"Ever hear of knocking, Bitch?" I heard Roma speak from inside the tent. When she noticed Finn and I enter behind Clarke, her face tensed even further. "Oh, great, it's a free show. Anyone else want to take a look?" She was sitting in the cot with Bree, both of them attempting to cover themselves with a makeshift blanket. Bree was quiet, slowly sinking further under the blanket.

"Where the hell is Bellamy?" Clarke asked.

"He took off a while ago."

Finn looked around the tent. "His gear is gone."

Clarke shook her head. "He told everyone to stay here. Whatever is in that pod, he wants it. We've got to get there before he does."

Clarke and Finn quickly exited the tent, causing Roma to roll her eyes. "You're welcome!"

I smiled nervously, slowly backing out of the tent. "Sorry about that."

After exiting the tent, I jogged to catch up with Clarke and Finn, who were almost at the gate already.

"I should've known he'd go for that radio," Clarke mumbled.

Finn raised an eyebrow. "How were you supposed to know something like that?"

"He's spent every single minute since we landed making sure no one on the Ark finds out that we're alive," Clarke responded. "Of course he'd make a run for that pod before anyone else got a chance."

"You can't always predict what people are going to do," I spoke up.

Clarke shook her head. "That's exactly what I have to do to keep us all safe. I screwed up, let myself get distracted." He glanced at Finn for a moment, before looking ahead once more. "I won't let that happen again."

...

We had been searching for hours, with no luck, before the sun finally came up. Clarke and I separated from Finn, hoping to have better luck in locating the pod in groups. As Clarke and I stepped into a clearing, we saw the pod sitting next to a tree. Clarke wasted no time, rushing over to it and yanking the door open.

I found myself behind her, staring into the pod over her shoulder. Inside was a girl, not much older than us, her hand placed on top of the wound on her forehead.

"Oh, my god." Clarke breathed.

The girl looked at us, her eyes wide. "I made it?"

Clarke and I nodded in unison.

The girl struggled to pull herself free from the pod, Clarke and I helping her regain her balance. Finally, she stepped away from the pod, slowly walking through the leaves on the ground. A smile appeared on her face as she began spinning around.

"I dreamed it would smell like this," The girl said, noticing the drops of water falling upon her bare arm. "Is this rain?"

Clarke smiled. "Welcome home."

"Raven?"

Clarke and I spun around, spotting Finn who had just stepped through the bushes. His eyes were wide, his face as pale as a ghost.

"Finn!" Raven called out, rushing over to him. The two kissed for a moment before Raven pulled back. "I knew you couldn't be dead."

"You're bleeding," Finn spoke, running his thumb along the cut.

Raven winced, though maintained her smile. "Right now, I don't care."

"How did you get here?"

"You know the big scrap hold? On K deck?"

Finn nodded, eying the pod behind Clarke and I. "You built that from scrap?"

"I kind of rebuilt it," Raven spoke, earning a laugh from Finn. "What, like it's hard? It just needed a couple of parts and some love."

"You're insane."

"I'd do more for you, and worse. Just like you would for me." As the words left Raven's lips, her legs gave out, Finn quickly grabbing her arms.

"Come sit," Finn spoke, leading her to a rock. He removed his jacket and draped it around her, before eying her cut one last time. "Let me get you something for that."

Finn rushed over to Clarke, who quietly handed him an ice pack. He frowned, noticing her eyes were scanning every inch of the forest, except for where he stood. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Clarke looked at him, her eyes shifting to me for just a moment before landing back on the ground. "Let's not talk about this."

Finn looked over at me before nodding, rushing back over to Raven.

I watched Clarke's expression change over and over again. "Are you okay?" I finally asked.

Clarke didn't speak, simply nodding before heading over to Finn and Raven. "She needs to put pressure on her wound."

"This is Clarke," Finn spoke. "And this is Athena."

Raven's eyes lit up. "Clarke Griffin?"

Clarke nodded.

"This was all because of your mom."

"My mom?"

Raven nodded. "This was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together. If we waited-" She trailed off, her face growing pale. "Oh, my God. We couldn't wait because the council was voting whether to kill three hundred people to save air."

"When?" I asked.

"Today. We have to tell them you guys are alive!" Raven stood from the rock, rushing over to her pod. "The radio's gone. It must've gotten loose during reentry. I should've strapped it to the A-strut. Stupid!" Raven hit the pod with her fist.

"No it didn't," I mumbled.

"This is all my fault," Clarke shook her head. "Some else got here before us. We have to find him."

...

While Finn and Raven went off on their own, Clarke and I remained together, searching the woods for Bellamy. He finally appeared a little ways ahead of us, just casually walking along. Clarke and I exchanged glances before running up to him.

"Bellamy!" Clarke snarled. "Where is it?"

"Hey, Princess, you taking a walk in the woods?" He asked, smiling.

Clarke stopped in front of him, her face red. "They're getting ready to kill three hundred people up there to save oxygen, and I can promise you it won't be council members. It'll be working people." She poked his chest. "Your people."

Suddenly, Finn came out of nowhere, shoving Bellamy hard. "Where the hell is the radio, Bellamy?"

Bellamy shoved Finn back. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Bellamy Blake?" Raven asked, her soft expression turning to a smirk. "They're looking for you everywhere."

"Shut up."

"What is she talking about?" I asked.

"He shot Chancellor Jaha."

Our eyes all shot to Bellamy, who kept his eyes planted on the ground. "That's why you took the wristbands. You needed everyone to think the ground wasn't survivable." Clarke choked out.

Finn shook his head. "All of that 'whatever the hell we want'? You just care about saving your own skin."

Bellamy didn't respond, instead turning and beginning to walk away. Raven shook her head, following close behind him. "Hey, Shooter! Where's my radio?" She jumped in front of him, causing Bellamy to stop.

"Get out of my way."

"Where is it?" Raven pressed once again.

Bellamy shook his head. "I should've killed you when I had the chance."

"Really? Well, I'm right here." Raven stepped closer before Bellamy grabbed her suit, shoving her up against a tree. In a matter of seconds Raven had pulled out a knife, pointing it at Bellamy's throat. "Where's my radio?"

"Stop it!" Clarke yelled, getting between them.

Bellamy let go of Raven, turning away from the group. When he finally turned back around, his expression had softened. "Jaha deserved to die. You all know that."

"Yeah, he isn't my favourite person either, but he isn't dead."

We all looked back at Raven.

"What?" Bellamy choked out.

Raven sighed. "You're a lousy shot."

I turned to look back at Bellamy, quickly approaching him. "Bellamy, don't you see what this means?" I asked, my voice quiet. "You're not a murderer."

Clarke stood next to me. "You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. That's who you are, and you can do it again by protecting three hundred of your people."

Bellamy looked back at me, his eyes wet. I locked my eyes onto his, a frown forming across my face. "Where's the radio?"

Bellamy stared back before finally, he shook his head. "It's too late."

...

After Bellamy had finally told us where he tossed the radio, Clarke and I returned to camp to gather a search party. The sun was slowly disappearing behind the hills in the distance before finally Jones pulled something out of the lake.

"Guys, I found it!"

Everyone rushed over, Raven quickly grabbing it from his hands.

"Can you fix it?" Clarke asked.

Raven examined it for a moment. "Maybe, but it'll take at least half the day to dry out the components to see what's broken."

"Like I said, it's too late." Bellamy spoke from behind us.

I could feel my fists ball up and I spun around, marching through the shallow water to meet Bellamy on dry land. "Do you have any idea what you did? Do you even care?" I asked, my jaw clenched.

"You asked me to help. I helped."

"Three hundred people are going to die today, because of you!" Clarke snapped from behind me.

I shook my head. "How can you just not care?"

Bellamy avoided my eyes, staring directly down at his feet. I knew he wanted to speak. To defend himself. Maybe he had finally realized he just couldn't.

"Wait," Raven spoke up. "We don't have to talk to the Ark. We just have to let them know we're down here, right?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, but how do we do that with no radio?"

Raven smiled, looking around. "I think I have an idea."

...

Raven took Clarke, Finn and a few others back to her pod in hopes of savaging parts. Her plan was to send flares high enough using rocket fuel that the Ark would see them. By dark we had managed to set them up, everyone gathering around, anxiously waiting for the show to start.

"You guys ready?" Raven asked, cheers erupting through the crowd. "Alright then, light 'em up!"

In just a few moments, flares began shooting off into the sky, lighting up the entire camp. Everyone just stared on, in awe of the sight. I thought back on the books I'd read on the Ark as a kid, picturing the images of Fireworks. This wasn't quite like them, but they were probably the closest we'd ever get.

My eyes left the sky for a moment, landing on Bellamy, who stood off to the side. His arms were folded across his chest, a frown painted neatly across his face. As much as I wanted to ignore him, I couldn't help but join him.

"Not enjoying the show?" I asked, slipping beside him. "I mean, why would you? They come down here, you're kinda screwed."

Bellamy's face tensed.

I thought back to our time in the Cave. What he'd said to me that night. "What's done is done, Bellamy. You can't change it now, so learn from it, do better next time."

Bellamy looked at me from the corner of his eye, his expression turning into a small smirk as he looked down at the ground, them back up at me. "Seriously?"

"What?" I asked, smiling. "You were right then and I'm right now. You did what you had to do to protect your sister, but if you want any chance of being forgiven when they get down here, you need to do better. You need to show them that you're worthy of forgiveness, just like the rest of us."

Bellamy shook his head. "It's not that simple, Athena."

I let out a sigh, turning my attention back to the sky. "Who says it can't be?"

--------

AN: Here we are with chapter five! Please remember to like/reblog and share your thoughts <3

[kaelsleftverdantsphere]

Modern AU Kalecgos x Khadgar because I love them

More of a crackfic but whatever

<><><><><><><><><>

The two men were seated at a beautiful café, one of them slowly sipping his coffee, looking at the other, who was somewhat restless for some reason.

"Are you alright?" Khadgar asked. "Are you feeling unwell?"

"Huh? No! No, not at all.... not by any chance, I- I'm fine." The bluenette gave him a second of eye contact before looking out of the window once again.

"What is it? You know you can tell me..."

He took a long breath. "It's just that... I haven't been on a date that went well... Like ever. In my life."

"That went well? What do you mean? Does someone always die at the end? Should I be worried?" He chuckled in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

"Well..." He took a sip from his tea cup. "My first date was with this one girl in highschool. And I got the most beautiful flowers I could afford, went to her house... And I was so nervous I-" He stopped for a second, giggling softly. "I threw up on her."

"You did what?" He examined the half-elf infront of him, never expecting such a sentence to come out of him.

"You heard me..."

He started laughing. "And that is, precisely, what I love about you!"

"The fact I get so nervous my insides decide the best course of action is to get rid of the nerves by scaring the source?"

"Yes!"

"And then the next date I had, in uni this time, was in this pretty bar in the city centre... And this time I didn't vomit on anyone... or anything..."

"Uh-uh?" He nodded, smiling.

"It was alright while we weren't drinking alcohol. I was funny, talkative, I told them EVERYTHING about Ravasaurs, I might've even thrown some pick-up lines in there! But then we started drinking... And then I remember waking up in just my shirt-"

"Oh my- that's spicy-"

"It's not, -shirt and pants, my watch and all the other expensive stuff was gone..."

"Ooooooh... that's not very pleasant."

"Yeah." He brushed back his hair. "But that's not all! The last date I went to was a date with a girl who's parents apparently need to meet every man she likes... And so I went to their house for dinner. And somehow set, the most expensive table cloth I've ever seen, on fire."

"Oh wow, what happened after?"

"I climbed out of the bathroom window and ran home."

"Kalecgos!" He laughed.

"What? I was pretty sure her father would kill me if I went out the door."

"So... do you feel less nervous now?" He smiled and reached his hand over the table.

Kalecgos looked into his eyes, reaching out as well, holding the other man's hand. "Not sure, maybe I'll set a table cloth on fire again..."

[boatdriinks]

aaaand part 3 of the ex-spouse series

Let's talk about Louise

After the unremarkable marriage that was his relationship with North, Kerry went back to his old ways for a time. Having fun, dating and sleeping around, while trying to be a present-enough father figure for his daughter.

For over 20 years, he went through several relationships. Some were serious, but most left him with a bad taste in his mouth and a resentment toward the other person.

He would meet and start dating Louise Nordin in 2054 while she was working as a model in Denmark. They dated long distance for two years and Kerry would invite Louise to move in with him on their third anniversary. He could see this was going places, and he was cautiously looking forward to taking things further.

He loved Louise's similar boisterous energy to his own. They could party, they could make all jaws drop in formal events for each other's careers, and they could talk to each other about anything. Kerry genuinely believed he'd met his one. He was able to talk to her about Johnny, about Derry. About how he hadn't treated his first wife that well, and Louise provided insight of how Zoh might've been feeling.

Despite what she heard, though, she didn't turn away. Kerry valued that. Not everyone could even begin to handle the trucktons of baggage that came with Kerry Eurodyne.

After 5 years of dating, they married in 2059. They lived blissfully alone together until April 28th, 2063 when their son, Theodore Nordin Eurodyne was born. Kerry's only son. And things were still good, but cracks would begin to form soon enough.

Drugs and alcohol took hold again during a particularly bad pass of the anniversary of Derry's, and then Johnny's, death. Kerry was spending more time away from home after Louise reluctantly retired for the sake of raising their son, because she and Kerry both hated the idea of their children being primarily raised by nannies.

In the midst of the conflict, the arguing, and trying to fix things, Kerry and Louise's daughter was born. Kimberly Nordin Eurodyne was born on December 1st, 2069. Kerry tried to clean up his act for the sake of his kids, but found that was far easier said than put into actions.

Kerry would catch Louise cheating in mid-2070, and that really sent him off on a war path. He'd cheat on her in return, out of revenge more than anything concrete. Kerry and Louise "patched things up," but he had a feeling she was still cheating after that point. He'd never question whether Kim was his. Whether she was actually or not, she was always going to be his.

It all came to a head, however, when Kerry was arrested for drug possession, assaulting a police officer, and public indecency in 2071. He was sentenced to 15 months in prison, where Kerry would only receive one visit from Louise and their children before being served divorce papers.

Ever since Kerry got out of prison, things have been shit with Louise. She got some of his cars, his home in Tokyo, and worst of all: full custody of the kids. He guessed he couldn't blame her there. Kerry was unstable, and honestly? He didn't want the kids to see him while his mental health was deteriorating. It sure as hell wouldn't help when Louise would occasionally dangle the kids in front of his face in her worst moments, but Kerry rarely had the fight left in him to argue with her too much about it.

And yet, despite all of the bullshit since they finalized the divorce in 2072, Kerry still loved her. If he hadn't fucked it all up, he felt like he could've been with her for the rest of his days.

[xoteajays]

I know that I never hit you hard enough for you to forget how to count now.. I know that for a fact. So you can't actually blame that on me.

So how is the show? What do you think of the show now? Tell me! I'm wanting to know. I have questions. So tell me what you think about it.

~

Exactly! That seemed out of character for the Mighty Warriors. And.. I know. That could've just been aesthetic for the music video. But if it's supposed to be an epilogue where Warriors do become Kuryu, then it confuses me that you would give them any weapons though. Like the old Kuryu, like Ryu, uses weapons. But none of the Warriors ever did.

And don't get me wrong. An attractive man in a suit is attractive... But they've never worn suits before with the exception of Ryu. Ryu's style was always more 'professional' compared to the style any Warriors do wear, and he always only ever wore black clothes. Nothing that was in a flashy vibrant style like everyone else in Warriors, mainly streetwear clothes rather than suits. With colors. The complete opposite to Ryu.

If Ryu's the new leader of Kuryu, I don't see him backing down from a fight with anyone.. Especially not from any 'street trash' like the Rude Boys. He'd rather die than not kill them if given the chance to. And so many characters like Nikaido are completely bitches who can't fight.

~

Strawberry Girls are stupid! If the girls do not know basic information about men, their personalities, their styles, or anything. Then this just so happens to be why they're single. Because they're so stupid to me.

The only way that Rocky could prevent Kizzy from cutting off his limb would be because women wouldn't want to be around a man, without his limbs. That's the only reason why they never cut off his hands too.

And they make sure there is always duplicate keys around just in case the situation calls for it. Because that would be bad if you lost the key at all. So the senior Rascals always have a key for this whole situation.

I don't know how insane Kato might be. And we know that Sakyo and Ukyo might be insane in a violent way, to some extent, but never on a same level as Hyuga is. And if they know how insane Hyuga is.. Now I am actually imagining how the Daruma newbies find out that Hyuga's family was one of the original families in Kuryu. How'd they act then.

~

So I might've figured out the fucking recipes for the cocktails that are in Club Heaven! And we were both right too.. Seriously. That's not any joke either. The menu I sent you from the High&Low festivals, back in the time when people celebrated the franchise for coming out then.

It lists the flavor for the White Rascals as a calpico. So I've researched calpico... A milky type of drink that comes in five flavors - the original, lychee, white peach, strawberry and mango flavors. And even certain flavors like original, lychee and peach are white colored. Strawberry is pink colored. And mango is orange colored. So now, I'm imaging their signature drink would be with the calpico as the very main ingredient.

They would use every flavor. But original, lychee and white peach end up being the main flavors.. Because white colors for White Rascals.

And! Despite calpico not being an alcoholic drink, that is frequently in alcoholic drinks in Asian (especially Japan). But, of course, one of the liqueurs that mix it with is vodka. And if you do look up some of those drinks.. Those drinks look like the Rascals drinks in different glasses.

~

So apparently some of my bands updated their appearances for their new albums. Apparently I can't look at pretty Asian men respectfully... My staring is somewhere in between respectfully and disrespectfully.

~

You said fifth time? Definitely more than five characters for me.

The only exception to a mafioso who wasn't abused might have really been Vincenzo. Like.. I'm not saying his past wasn't said. But he never was abused by his father. That's all I will say about his character.

Like the Shelby family (from Peaky Blinders) came from very abusive families. Rocky counts.. If though Rocky isn't technically a mafioso in the traditional sense. He's a gang leader who had an abusive father so that led to his mother and sister committing suicide. And others too.

Obviously. I know. Criminals become criminals because of the past in their lives.. But still though. Have criminals come from normal pasts - in the same way criminals also come from abusive pasts too. Do both equally. Because having an unsuspecting antagonist is so interesting. But, then again, you just might not emphasize with any of them then.

it’s so long! it’s like watching a movie every episode. i’m still neither here or there on it, but i do like vincenzo himself as a character. also i thought the flick scene was cute, stealing that idea for my daydreaming.

~

it kinda sucks to slip the warriors into kuryu aesthetics because it was interesting to have ryu among the warriors because he was so un-warrior-ish. he’s like, a rich kid! he wears fancy clothes! ans uses weapons! he’s the literal black sheep in the warriors. so he stands out when with the warriors. but then they crammed the warriors all into the kuryu fashion and it’s. wrong.

put the warriors back in their colours! and their cool streetwear! ryu can be the one in his fancy high fashion clothes. it’s about the duality!

i think it’d embarrass ryu to be beaten by the rude boys. so it should absolutely happen. one of the rude boys deserves to knock him on his ass.

~

i’m imagining rocky just trying to convince one of the golden bomber/smg guys to give him the spare key and kizzy being there like ‘don’t you dare give him the key’ because she’s trying to get something from him while he’s trapped. on one hand, rocky’s his boss. on the other, kizzy will make his life hell for defying her. lose lose situation.

~

oh! calpico! i’ve had calpico before. i could see that being made into an alcoholic drink. looks there are a lot of ones online, ones with like gin, vodka or sake. idk what alcohols are popular in japan.

i think i’d prefer the strawberry flavour tbh, even tho it’s not white. i’m not a big fan of lychee, i don’t mind peach tho.

~

it’s definitely a favourite backstory for writing characters you need to feel some kind of empathy for. like time to make you feel bad for this character! flip a coin, is it going to be abuse or dead family?

gotta find some new material for sad backstories.

[number-onekidqueen]

𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮, 𝓢𝓸 𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓜𝔂 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭 1

Sirius Black x Marlene McKinnon

Fluff and angst

Warnings: mentions sexual themes, pregnancy, anxious feelings.

******

As footsteps pattered around clumsily downstairs, Marlene shot awake.

It was still dark, probably only three or so in the morning, she estimated, but that didn't stop anyone from getting post-alcohol munchies.

Especially if it was one of Sirius' friends.

Sirius.

She glanced down at his still form with a small smile, concluding that he was asleep, as the memories of the happy night before slowly trickled through her brain. She shifted softly to exit the tangle of sheets surrounding her, with long pauses in between each movement, so not to wake him.

It was to no avail; before she was halfway done, his warm arms enveloped her, pulling her down once more and into his embrace.

She opened her mouth to protest, but he clamped a hand over it, burying his head into her golden locks.

"You don't have to leave," he murmured into her hair, "it's only James."

"But-"

"But what?" he chuckled, his lips stretching into a fiendish grin as he pulled away to look at her. "Prongs knows we've loved each other since Hogwarts. He won't interrupt. Besides, he's absolutely smashed from last night."

"Alcohol or Lily?" Marlene asked, settling into his shoulder with a smirk.

Sirius paused to consider, letting out a low hum.

"I think mostly beer, but they might want a Harry 2.0. He might've got lucky." He chuckled.

"Not as lucky as you were last night though," Marlene joked, grinning widely at him.

"I think you'll find that you  were the lucky one, one of the blessed few-"

"Blessed few," Marlene snorted, "Tell that to three-quarters of the girls in our year. Sirius, you were Hogwart's H-"

"-to ever have the honour of being in the legendary Sirius Black's company for the night." Sirius finished, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

"And also being his favourite of all of them."

And so started a perfect day, they thought, with a series of soft, early morning kisses.

If only they knew just how downhill things would get from that day forth.

*******

Marlene tried not to think about the confrontation that would have to take place.

Even as the result papers rustled in her handbag, even as she walked past a mother on the street, running with a pram containing a crying child, and even as she viewed a window plastered with posters advertising naturopathic births.

Instead, she kept her mind on her work. On the smell of ale and butterbeer, the low noise of people's conversations, the taste of good, warm pub food on her lunch break.

However much she tried, she could never visualise that for more than a second before her thoughts returned to those damning papers in her bag. The results papers containing the bold, black word: POSITIVE.

And how she was sure that would shatter her relationship with Sirius.

Sure, Lily's pregnancy had been fine, and James had been a wonderful father to Harry. But everyone had known that they were soulmates, and that they would forever be perfect together, no matter what the world threw at them.

Her relationship with Sirius had never been like that. There had been luck, love, and wanting, but never had their been fate and circumstances that simply weaved together perfectly in their favour.

And that was why everything would fail.

Too soon, the red door to the Marauder's shared apartment appeared, setting her nerves fraying once more. 

How could she explain her situation to him in this state?

"Afternoon, Marlene," A voice called cheerily behind her, and she spun to face Remus, unfortunately also back from his day working at Flourish and Blotts.

"Afternoon," She replied, willing her voice to not shake. Thankfully, it didn't, sort of.

"Are you. . . going in?" Remus asked hesitantly, eyeing her confused, "Or are you waiting for something? You seem reluctant."

"Oh yeah, definitely, I'm going in, it's just," Marlene floundered for an excuse, her eyes scanning the environment around her, and focusing on distant white flowers "I'm just admiring the asphodel."

"Peter's asphodel?" Remus questioned, seeming to suppress a grin.

"Yes," she answered, although it was more of a question at his sudden humour.

"The one you told him last week to pull out because it was the 'most damn ugly plant you'd ever seen, and you'd studied herbology, so  you knew some damn ugly plants'?"

"Your recall abilities make it very hard to lie, Remus," she grumbled, although part of her relaxed at his humour.

"And your lack of them make you a very horrible liar," he responded with an even wider grin, "Now, tell me, why aren't you going in?"

And it might've been the most stupid, awful thing to do, but Marlene couldn't handle the weight of her secret anymore.

She told him.

And felt terrible as he remained silent, terrible as every trace of humour Remus had had on his face vanished.

Finally, after careful consideration, it seemed, he spoke.

"Marlene," he began, gazing into her eyes with the wisdom of a king, "I appreciate so much that you trust me enough to tell me this - thank you. But you and I both know that I'm not the one you've got to tell."

"Yeah," was all she could utter.

"If you need any more help, remember that James, Peter and I - we're always here for you. I'm sure Sirius will understand - James did - but if he doesn't, then we'll support you, and as will Dorcas and Lily and Mary."

Marlene nodded, feeling numb inside as she and him steadily inched towards the door.

The red door opened, and with it, Marlene's door to emotions closed. Instead, a strong resolve and seriousness took over, and as she ventured in, she couldn't find it within herself to be frightened anymore.

*********

And quite simply, she told Sirius.

His reaction was not one she'd anticipated at all.

The moment she'd finished speaking, he'd picked up the essay he'd been writing - his application to become an auror - and began tearing the corner.

Their argument had started from there.

"Sirius, this is final, I won't let you do this," she said, deadly serious, "I won't let you sacrifice the fight, I won't stop one of the Order's greatest assets from helping us all survive over something like this!"

"Marlene, I don't care!" he retorted, "I won't fight if it means abandoning you! My duty as the father of this child is to be with it. And I want to do that. I want to be with you, helping you bring it up and keeping it safe."

"I can't let you do that," she said, her voice cracking, and tears beginning to well, "I can't let you give up on your dream just for me."

"You are my dream, Marlene," he said desperately, "you're the reason that I get up every morning, that I keep fighting."

She smiled at the ground; softly, sadly.

"You don't mean that," she whispered, her shattered eyes meeting his, "you love me, but you wake up for hope, the fight, for your family - James, Remus, Peter, Harry. And the fight is where you should rightfully be, not tending to me. You have so much to continue doing, Sirius, I'm just a little, unimportant label in your universe."

And in her eyes, he saw that she knew she could learn to believe that what she said was true. That she was willing to simply leave and forget in order for things to be easier for him. As if she was a pretty face he occasionally adored that he could discard at any point.

"I've been mates with James since I was eleven," he began, sighing, "and yet that was still the most stupid thing I think I've ever heard someone say."

Despite herself, Marlene began to laugh, tears cascading down her cheeks.

He stepped closer to her, snatching up her hands and squeezing them.

"We'll find a way for this to work," he said softly, "a way that we're both happy to do, an equilibrium of sorts. I promise."

And as they held hands, love flowing between them, they both allowed themselves to believe his words.