#superficial changes
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Caelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt.
Horace
They change their sky, not their soul, who rush across the sea.
#horace#roman#latin#classical#quote#sea#waters#ocean#run#femme#beauty#outdoors#nature#soul#introspection#superficial changes#human condition
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electing to believe this is what griddlehark looks like to everyone else
#like i could go into my thoughts on bodymodification in domincus and how i think#light eyes/non-brown eyes are infinitely more common now#despite the fact there still seems to be adhesion to the relative norm (natural eye colors#yellow eyes being both unique to the populace of canaan house and unique enough that#gids lineage can be determined via#DESPITE the fact that while theoretically it would be a superficial change#john seems to have inadvertently changed his own genetics to do it? making it something a necromancer Could Do?#idk. whatever#the locked tomb#thoughts from the stars#1k#2k#3k#shout out to my first post to hit#4k#5k#sighs#6k
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im sure its been said already but as the election draws near more and more liberals will come out of the woodwork to shame people with a conscience to give away their vote to the democrats for free. i'm already seeing posts saying "why aren't people more concerned about a trump presidency?" you want to know why? it's because people already know he's bad. everyone already knows what he is and what he's done and what he'll do. there's nothing to discuss. he's a racist despotic worm of a man. there's nothing else to say.
biden is currently president. the genocide is happening under his watch. he's the one funding isra*l and arming them; he's sidestepped congress more than once to give them weapons. by oct. 27, the biden administration already knew that "Israel was regularly bombing buildings without solid intelligence that they were legitimate military targets." the state department/biden have engaged in atrocity propaganda, cast doubt on the legitimacy of the death toll recorded by the gaza health ministry, and so on. the united states is currently in the process of trying to pin the "war in gaza" on netanyahu (see sen. schumer's speech) after months of backing blatant genocide as a means to act as if they're "doing something" about the genocide (Instead of, say, threatening to cut off all aid to israel with the condition that all hostilities in gaza, the west bank, and occupied jerusalem are halted immediately and permanently, allowing palestinians freedom to travel, allowing aid into gaza, etc etc etc.)
the long and short of it is that liberals view their own lives as being worth more than palestinians'. that's it. they'll vote for another 4 years of the guy ushering in genocide and supporting apartheid + settler colonialism because he isn't outright attacking them (despite various laws and rulings happening both at the supreme court level and at the local level all over the country that will endanger people). they'll settle for the illusion of safety and security and shame anyone with a conscience and accuse them of "supporting the republicans" when in an actual democracy you would be able to use your vote as leverage to extract concessions from those who want to be elected. that's how it's supposed to fucking work.
democrats are not owed people's vote. if biden loses, it will be biden's fault; it will be his campaign's fault; it will be the democrats' fault. trump is bad; the republicans are bad. we already know this. this is not an endorsement of either. but if democrats are too cowardly and feckless and servile to the motivations of the american empire and never do anything for their constituents then why the fuck should anyone vote for them. you want to get mad at someone, why don't you do something useful and stop worrying about team-sports with a purely selfish basis and start hounding the people in power who are supposed to serve you, the voter.
#i think i already said this and frankly idc#uspol#📁.zip#to me personally it's abhorrent and vile to tell palestinians 'biden is facilitating the murder of your people culture and history but you#still have to vote for him!!1' like how is that not unbelievably callous and ghoulish#frankly speaking. a lot of this 'you should be concerned about trump' is going to turn into#blaming palestinians and arabs and muslims and anyone remotely with a conscience for biden's loss#instead of doing something productive like pushing for people in power to do something they'll nitpick and belittle#and tell palestinians + arabs and muslims + everyone who understands that genocide is bad that they SHOULD#settle for a decrepit genocidal monstrous freak who is CURRENTLY facilitating genocide because#it makes THEM feel better and they aren't personally threatened (yet) by the guy currently in power#any and all 'you're not taking trump seriously' comments should be met with extreme skepticism#because i promise i PROMISE that the vast majority of people unhappy with biden are not going to turn around and vote for trump#and if they do? well guess what THAT'S BIDEN'S FAULT! nevermind the vote uncommitted campaign that was very successful and#will be replicated in the near future. but liberals only care about asthetics and superficial and not#about real material change which is why they'll dress up their callousness and racism in a 'you hate gay people if you dont vote for biden'#like this country is already going to shit we are rapidly descending into fascism and i dont see biden doing anything to even remotely#challenge it do you???? once agian. NOT an endorsement of the republican party but my GOD when the 'lesser evil'#is DOING the evil or normalizing the evil then you cannot settle for 'the lesser'! end of story.
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Okay, so the new design choices for Shen are bothering me. Like, I know it's Her impersonating him, but I don't like how fluffy they made him. It's messy to look at, and part of his character is metal.
Like, he was supposed to look cold and sleek, like metal. Because it makes him look more lethal, and sharp. (Like a stabby weapon.) But metal is also kind of his element.
I don't know, but to me the changes make him look less regal and imposing, and more... frumpy?
#I would argue the changes to his design#also make him look unfinished#but yeah#I don't like the changes they made#Again it is Chameleon pretending to be him#and I'm all for creative license on her part because those are a lot of feathers and she was in a hurry to acquire kung fu#but it's not just her#because in a few other scenes these changes persist#and I just don't like these changes. I know it's a superficial thing to complain about#but still... it bothers me.#kfp2#kfp4#kung fu panda#Shen#the chameleon#Lord Shen
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Hanamura Yosuke's first appearance vs last
#p4#p4g#persona 4 dancing all night#p4d#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#HAPPY LAST DAY OF THE YEAR AS A GIFT PLS TAKE THIS COMPARISON#guys our boy has grown up so much hes changed so much hes!!!#hes gone from this lonesome kid struggling to find his place in inaba and in the world#hes putting up facades to be liked and going along with whatever people wanted because he thought it would make him accepted#hes forming relationships based on superficiality because he cant connect genuinely with them since he wasnt being honest#half of inaba treats him like an outcast because of Junes and the ones that want to connect with him cant because he doesnt know how#and now here he is!!! hes the morale leader of the team!!! hes the second banana to bancho's first banana!!#hes the team wrangler he gets them together he gets them going!!!#hes loved and hes accepted and they rib on him but they also respect him so much!!! they follow his lead wordlessly!! HES TRUSTED!!#LOOK. AT. HIM. LOOK AT OUR BOY!!!!!
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Willow | Spike - Clothing
“Why are you still in costume?” “Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit.”
#I call this 'costume motif' my beloved#I feel like both characters wear their hearts on their sleeves#So let’s take a look on their actual sleeves#Obviously everyone’s clothes tell a story and their character growth but I feel like these two are hyper aware of it#Its costume its armor I think they rely on it almost weaponize it#Spike i feel is relatively up on the times for a vampire yet he hasn't changed his style in 20 years#He's found his bad boy rebel image and he's gonna cling to it dammit#And Willow needs her clothes to showcase her pride/rebellion/growth as a lesbian wicca#Their clothing means to them hey look at me I'm not a loser nerd/fool anymore I got power and confidence in spades#But its just a front - superficial but clothes equal security blanket#I think they put too much power in their clothes because they're convinced it can control how people see them#But more importantly so it can control how they see themselves#btvs#mygifs#ok i made the nonsense gifset now will my brain stop this random buffy obsession or is this just a phenomenon that will hit me every decade#buffy the vampire slayer#myfaveposts
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Sometimes I see posts about how "I, Strahd" Tatyana has the personality of a cardboard but I don't think I agree honestly.
We only see her in very few scenes (all from Strahd's POV) and she's always very gentle and soft spoken.
Which makes completely sense since she was a lowborn orphan trying to make a good impression on her future brother in law, who is not only the ruler of the valley but also a feared war criminal. Of course she would try to be as nice as possible in front of him.
I also think that Strahd was extremely genuine in thinking he was in love with Tatyana, it's just that he never really knew her the way Sergei did. He only knew a facet.
#she went customer service mode#Strahd mentions that in the months she stays at Ravenloft he finds new reasons to fall in love with her day after day#so even if his attraction to her was absolutely superficial at first I do think he really liked her going on#he's so difficult to please I think he would have just tried to fish for other reasons to dislike her if his attraction wasn't genuine#especially because he really wanted to hate her before meeting her#also being just kind and gentle is a completely valid personality honestly#I don't think she's any less interesting or well rounded just because we're mainly shown that side of her#plus I say she's soft spoken but she also curses the gods when Sergei dies and immediately thinks of looking for Lady Ilona to bring himbac#so we could say she's also resolute and very quick thinking#also I was thinking of Tatyana as a general concept at first but then I remembered they completely changed her in 5e#so her dyamic with Strahd is obviously different cause they also knew eachother before Sergei arrived#because god fucking forbid 5e Strahd to fall in love with a peasant I guess#in the beautiful world in my mind I often forget I Strahd isn't the 5e canon oof#this post was brought to you by the Taty Appreciators Gang#not art#curse of strahd#strahd von zarovich#ravenloft
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yknow i didn't necessarily start my wyll origin run with the intent of romancing astarion in mind but the more i play the more i find their similarities amusing when it comes to like, the surface level personality they present to strangers in act 1.
wyll is a compulsive flirt. you see it in dialogue with shadowheart and lae'zel - he just tosses out a couple lines that clearly aren't supposed to go anywhere (asking lae'zel if she believes in love at first sight, blatantly reusing the same flirtation attempts with shadowheart) and i see this as part of his Blade of Frontiers persona. obviously a traveling vigilante would have no time for romance or relationships, but he's socially aware enough to have learned that people respond well to a certain level of rogueish charm. especially if his reputation precedes him. he can safely and positively engage in surface level flirtations with the people he interacts with because the person doing the flirting isn't real - at least not to him. he often says the Blade is his best self, but to him its an ideal he strives to achieve, not the person he really is. and i imagine that includes the ability to give discouraged people positive attention in a nonthreatening way. its safe. its superficial. he doesn't have to follow through.
this is overshadowed somewhat by astarion's tendency to flirt with anything that has a pulse, but the perspective they both have on it is pretty similar. theyre both coming from a place of not actually being interested in the recipient of their attention - whether that be through astarion's ulterior motives or wyll's lack of capacity for a relationship - but they both still put on this front because it's habitual. it's worked for them and it's gotten them through the varying degrees of social contracts they find themselves in. so they wind up trading lines easily because they've studied from the same script.
anyway what im getting at is bumping these two personalities against each other can definitely result in wyll and astarion committing to the bit so hard they accidentally wind up in a relationship. like, you're safe, you know the rules, you're speaking in a language i'm familiar with but we both understand that neither of us expect anything back on an emotional level. wait when did we start confiding our deepest secrets with one another. what do you mean you trust me.
#wyll waking up with holes in his neck like..... arent i supposed to be a monster hunter.... why did i let him do that#astarion wandering around in the woods like why tf did i bite the vigilante that was so stupid hes gonna straight up murder me#both of them return to the safety of the Meaningless Flirtation Script but something has changed#anyway i think theres a lot to explore here wrt the comedy of being mutually oblivious#crossing line after line past the superficial without really acknowledging or being aware of it#and really when you think about it wyll needs someone who doesnt... need him if you get what i mean#at least#someone who doesnt need the blade of frontiers#astarion doesnt need saving or rescuing hes a man of personal agency capable of defending and making decisions for himself and#i think being with someone like that would take the pressure off of wyll a little bit#i dont need you to protect me like so many others#i just need someone to stand by my side#idk ive just been thinking about it a lot#long post#bg3#wyll ravengard#astarion ancunin#i never know the ship names for these#wyll x astarion
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Yanqing and Yunli Appreciation Post
Keep Reading cut due to 2.4 spoilers~ (also relatively long-ish post)
These two bounce off each other so well! As a writer, it feels so satisfying to see their characters shine through the quest and the event in the way their interactions highlight them. So I'm gonna use this space to ramble about it!
My previous post pretty much talked about it already, but Yanqing!!! My son!!! I was quite worried that any potential arc for him would be shoved down the road or to the side due to the scale HSR has, but the game's been actually holding up to his ongoing arc. As a result, at least to me, he's come through as one of the best written/developed characters on the Xianzhou so far.
The nature of the length of the updates lets what we get in previous quests settle in for a long while, and considering the mentioned of flow of time in-game, Yanqing's had the time to think and develop as a person. The fact that so many players have had their view and opinion of him finally turn around in this quest is a testament to that. We get to see more facets of him, as in, doing his job and the responsibilities of doing so, and how his insecurities are mentioned in a main quest for all to see. He's constantly referencing others and his past encounters. You can tell that Jing Yuan raised him with his manner and approach to things, which is highlighted by the contrast to Yunli (will get to that soon).
His position as a child soldier has made him mature faster, be quiet even when he's been wronged (filial piety/saving face (aka thank you person on Reddit who makes the banger character Yanqing (and other characters in general) appreciation posts)), take a step back and have to be able to read the room (though, reasonably, he doesn't catch on all the time), and much, much more. The fact that other official content has described him as being more worried about diplomacy and all that. He doesn't have the luxury to be as carefree or brash for someone his age.
There's a lot to unpack there still, even with the development he's had now and that's good! If the Hoyo writing team was wild enough, it'd be cool to see them address the grayness of his role and Jing Yuan's mindset in raising him as he did (We love Dad-Yuan and he loves his son dearly no question, but it'd be so interesting to explore his flaws/mistakes in this perspective!).
Now onto Yunli.
I'm saying straight off the bat, I'm irritated by her!
And that's a good thing!
Her being annoying or bratty or irritating doesn't automatically make her a badly written character! She only would become one if they don't do anything with her, and HSR most probably will, and she should be given the same room to develop in her own arc.
She acts like her age, and she doesn't have the same pressures as Yanqing does. Just like how you can see Jing Yuan in Yanqing, you can see Huaiyan in Yunli, if anything he says is to go by. She's tempremental and outspoken to a fault, and based on the way how quickly Huaiyan relented when she talked back, you can tell that Huaiyan isn't as strict/stern with her to give her a sense of being humble.
I had this thought that she's technically what the general fandom viewed Yanqing as initially, and I'm not saying that as a 100% thing, by the way. But like by some traits and the vibes. She, of course, has a lot more nuance that will be explored at one point or another.
But back on topic, she's a foil. They represent two different approaches and lifestyles and can clearly learn from each other. Her inconsideration of the fact that she's on the Luofu but enforcing Zhuming practices (which I noticed people were upset by, and same; which I imagine is the point), her bluntness to no matter who she's talking to—there's a lot to work with here.
Just like with their swordplay, Yanqing could learn from her mental strength while Yunli can learn from his focused speed and defense. He can learn to regain a more firm grasp of his recently found purpose while she can learn to mature and take in her surroundings and be more thoughtful in that front.
Another interesting note is that where we are with Yanqing currently is in the middle of his arc, we've had the time to see him take a long route of struggle to get to this point, exacerbated by irl players views of him. He's in the middle of his growth and we've had since 1.0 to get to know him. But with Yunli, she was introduced very recently, so we're technically at the "beginning" of her character arc. In a way, Yunli now highlights how far Yanqing has come and changed, and in a way Yanqing now is a potential show for the arc that Yunli can have (not being the exact same as him of course).
I think the idea with these two is that they develop to be more balanced. Balance is such an important thing, especially in Chinese culture (Daoism (Yin-Yang), etc.), and 2.4 has shown how much potential they have to make for amazing character arcs.
It's cool that while they have such similar base traits, they're so different from each other. Calling Yunli a female Yanqing or Yanqing a male Yunli is simply outright incorrect. Their backgrounds, upbringings, ideals, swordstyles, perspectives, and positions in life are so distinct. I'm looking forward to their futures!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr yanqing#hsr yunli#character appreciation#character analysis#despite writing all of that i still feel like i haven't encapsualted fully what i wanted to say esp about yanqing#for yunli i want more time with her character to see where they take her character#i'd assume that they'd give her the same amount of effort as they did yanqing cause it'd be a shame if she remained static which might be#fine superficially since it'd be a cool contrast to yanqing's constant directly visible changing but on a deeper level#yunli a year from now shouldn't be the exact same as she is currently and if she somehow is#that'd be the worst case scenario writing-wise and I trust Hoyo enough to not do that#but if they somehow do then you know what essay I'm writing that day lol#not liking yunli is fine as is not liking yanqing is fine too but I hope she doesn't get treated like Yanqing til her development arc#tho she probably won't which also says a lot if that turns out to be the case#but i'm already making these tags way too long and my brain is very small LOL#struggling jpg thinks
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chapter 1 of reassassination's nearly done script-wise! hopefully the next chapters won't take like 6 months of on-and-off work to complete lol
#but i have GOOD REASON as to why it took so long#1. i had no clue how exactly to write the characters and they literally swapped characterisation with every scene#luckily now i've solidified krankenstein as a paranoid control freak#and octavia as a superficially cool girl with a sailor's mouth and zero social awareness#honestly its so hard to explain her chara. basically: character who seems stoic and cool and mysterious but is actually just super autistic#2. i had NO CLUE how and when to expose information#now chapter 1 only gives a superficial look at krank and octavia's characters and the most basic info about postmortem#and the “rules” of octavia (perfect pendant etc)#and 3. i was writing it like a standalone for a while#i had to put a lot of changes into the script in order to turn the chapter into the foundation for a few opening “mini-arcs”#of which will give a lot of characterisation and purpose into postmortem highschool characters#like onion and jaundice#rather than being kind of disconnected like before#anyway now that im nearly done all i need to do is FINALFINALFINALise the designs#(which will probably have a shit ton more changes to make em actually drawable over and over again)#and design environments and props (like krankenstein medical clinic and postmortem as a whole)#even so i only want to start releasing the comic when at least a quarter of the scripts are done and the story is 100% finalised#i have a lot of freedom being out of school right now so i want to write as much as possible#so i guess it will release around late 2025 or mid 2026 in the best case scenario assuming something insane doesnt happen to me
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just came to the realization that the sextuplets died a week before kuroba's birthday.
#THIS IS ALMOST COMICALLY CRUEL WHAT THE FUCK#I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A TIMELINE FOR THE KUROKARA LORE#AND WAS LIKE '' oh so maybe kara goes to tell kuro he's back a week out from that ''#april 2nd is a week after march 26th. which is kuroba's birthday. i. god.#fucking wild bc i changed it to april 2nd bc that day's birth flower in japan is a 4 leaf clover#really driving that superficial luck trait to home huh...#no wonder it was so rough on them good lord#idk if kara coming back would actually happen a week after ( considering the funeral planning and stuff ) but yeah...#ANYWAYS my activity today will probably be a bit spotty bc it's my dad's birthday and i'm gonna hang out w/ him ✌️#oc : kuroba#mj rambles
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Wanted to give my two cents on the whole wuwa character design. The person saying that having distinct facial feature is not aspiring or interesting needs to watch their wording especially towards POCs.
Most game always suffer from same face syndrome. This is mostly prominent with the females. No matter what a distinct a character looks like with their hair color or eyes. You plaster them on another character they practically identical. Genshin Impact and League of Legends suffer this big time.
Genshin Impact
(Link to where I got the first 4 images: https://m.hoyolab.com/#/article/11600510)
League of Legends
Besides their face ornaments you would believe these are all the same characters right? Nope! They are all different characters.
This is just for a skinline. When compared with the other female characters og skinline they still have all the same faces.
As far as I know the males have distinct facial features.
https://www.tumblr.com/freyito/751527973863178240/i-need-people-to-appreciate-calcharos-nose-bump?source=share
Same person has point out that Taoqi is a thicker than most of the female girls and I agree. Look at the comparison.
Small things like these make the game interesting and unique. Ethnic features and facial differences are important to everyone because it makes the character feel unique and we can relate them physical.
Not everyone is going to have the same eye shape, lips, nose, and mouth. But society excepts us to have the same feature and shuns/discriminates those who lack them or chose to embrace their features.
Which is why character creation games like Baldur's Gate, Elden Ring, Sims 4, and Cyberpunk allows players to adjust and modify their character to look like them so they won't feel like they need look a certain way.
Sorry for the rant. That post really trigger me.
First of all, thanks for sharing your thoughts. A rant it may be, but it was really interesting! Mainly because I didn't think about it from this angle before, but now that you mention it, it's so obvious :9
As a person of color myself, it is a little disheartening when non-white characters look the same but with a different shade of skin, lmao.
I don't play LoL, and haven't actually seen anything about it at all, so I hadn't seen this, though it doesn't surprise me. It's a common joke that women have less variety in their designs than men, and it gets pointed out a lot.
It's mostly modern anime poisoning or something, it's in the water I swear. Where it's just the same character but different colors and personality...
About the Genshin vs Wuwa thing, I agree that the comment of "faces" not being enough seems almost... insensitive? I don't know how to describe it, but I get it. They are so focused in the intricate clothing of Genshin and the large amount of accessories and at the same time disregard what actually matters when it comes to uniqueness, lol.
(In my eyes, clothing in character design, doesn't have to be incredibly decorated, it can be either way as long as it portrays accurately the character that's wearing them. So that whole argument is moot to me, since it's just a matter of stylistic choices and how you wish to portray an environment, etc, etc.)
Meanwhile, the fact that Genshin only uses like two bases for their characters feels like they've streamlined their design production to pull out 'bangers' each time. Just dressing up the same doll each time, changing out the wig and repainting their faces. I still like some designs from them, but it's clear they don't put much effort in the actual body of the character LMAO, they just let the fancy colors and accessories do the talking.
Anyways, hopefully we get more characters with more unique traits instead of some outfit change, both in Wuthering Waves, and in other franchises.
#thanks for the ask! and sorry for my own rant lmao#funnily enough taoqi is one of my favorites aside from danjin. though it's clear she is mainly there for those who like big girls.#it's still a win#i don't hate on genshin. or mihoyo that hard. since it's an issue with pretty much every other gacha game. who are we kidding.#hsr is pretty much the same. and it does make me wish for more differences. it gets tiring to see the new 5 star be the exact same model#with no differences other than clothing#i always check how they walk around and things like that and it never stops dissapointing me lmao#ALSO. genshin and hsr have like different areas and yet... they all look the same. lmao??? you would think they would at least try... but n#it's only the clothes they change. so superficial imo#ask#long post
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Funny thought that I may or may not expand into its own one shot later:
Gemini and P body swap.
Like, just imagine how Gemini would react to having an actual humanoid form and taking advantage of that immediately.
Meanwhile P can only watch in silent terror at the trouble Gemini gets into while looking like him. I mean, P gets in trouble all the time, but it's a different kind of trouble where the other residents of Hotel Krat just become utterly confused at "P's" suddenly more extroverted behavior.
Example:
Gemini (waving and doing all sorts of expressive hand motions while speaking): Heya Eugenie! How are you doing? You having a good morning so far? Watcha workin' on by the way? Oh, and good day to you Spring! Who's a good kitty?
Spring: *cautiously backs away from Gemini and retreats, hiding behind Eugenie*
Eugenie: I...uh...are you feeling okay P? Are you sick???
P (whispering): Gemini you're supposed to be acting like me.
Gemini: Oh, don't worry Pal. I got this!
P: I...*chirps and sighs as he gives up*
#lies of p#lies of p pinocchio#lies of p gemini#fic ideas#potential fanfic#body swap#I think in addition it'd be funny if while swapped#Gemini would cause P's body to have green eyes#Meanwhile P causes the lamp to glow a soft blue#But this is like those superficial changes that no one else would comment on#Or maybe someone would notice it and wonder “hey that's not right”
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Hello hello hello does anyone have links/resources on low dose t? like the lowest dose u can be on without it just turning into estrogen like the world's shittiest hormonal magic trick. Just enough T to create more blood
#i have little to no interest in Superficial Body Changes i know they will happen but id like them to#happen slowly enough for me to get used to#i hated regulsr puberty enough already BECAUSE I DONT LIKE CHANGE#WHEN UR TOO AUTISTIC FOR PUBERTY: A MEMOIR#but anyway i really need to try it. for illness reasons#the hypovolemia is vile lately
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#look everybody else has a special line in this scene telling yu how special he was but this esp hit me the hardest because i'm yosukebraine#it's in the last line “don't go partner” LIKE DUDE the way it calls back to yosuke's cut romance dialogue when he says “don't go”#im not saying that yosuke has separation anxiety but uhhhh i also think the trajectory of his story arc has been about the ppl that left hi#and how he copes with it and grows and matures and moves on but BUT BUT#yu is different#yosuke has managed to let go of the superficial friendships that he held on to from the city#he's learnt to let go of saki#he's learnt to live for himself and for the people that have come and gone BUT. BUT YU. yu has changed his life so much#and it's not even because yosuke actually hasn't grown or accepted that people in his life will come and go he has it's just that#he doesn't want yu to be another one that leaves. bcause he knows what it feels like to have someone leave and how it feels to “get over it#and he doesn't want to get over yu#and i'm#just#sitting here#sobbing#he's good with his queue
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okay so. as someone with adhd/autism, is it like. a common experience for other neurodivergent folks when you have unspoken feelings/attraction towards someone to assume that if they were to become aware of your feelings, that they would react with disgust/contempt? and to feel that they wouldn't be wrong in reacting that way?
this has been my gut reaction for years whenever i'm in this situation and i don't like it, and i'm trying to identify whether it stems from my feelings of "other-ness" due to neurodivergence, or if it stems from specific experiences i had with specific people, or just general low self-worth.
it's very uncharitable of me to think like this and i hate automatically assuming a reaction like that from people i care about. and it's not exclusive to romantic feelings, either. i generally assume that if people knew me better they would not like me. and not even for some big awful secret reason like "i'm a mass murderer", literally just because i struggle with social cues and perceive myself as inconvenient and annoying to be around. these feelings are just generally exacerbated in a romantic context.
this is definitely something i should talk through with a therapist but you know. tumblr is free.
#when i feel like this i'm always indirectly assuming that the people i care about are incredibly superficial and mean#and i don't like that at all#i want to change this reaction but i need to figure out some true and good thought patterns to replace it with#adhd#autism#audhd
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