#super excited for this project actually
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Decided to start a new project on the farm following a conversation with one of the directors about the apple trees we have on-hand (ie. they were bought, potted up and forgotten about).
Fairly simple project in theory - transplant the spare apple trees into the main orchard where there's currently a large amount of empty plots that either contained trees previously that didn't quite make it for various reasons or were dug in the wrong place due to a contractor error (the error is that he was a little stupid but shit happens). We have so many good trees just hanging around it'd be a shame to leave them to get root-bound in a tiny corner so I'm taking charge, especially because there's so much potential for the orchard to bring in money from various activities and, being a charity, this farm could use all the income it can get.
Based off of another short conversation with the farm founder who is an expert in apples and the guy who keeps buying the apple trees, potting them up and then forgetting about them (to be fair he's like 75) there's quite a lot to do but it is all fairly straight forward. The only things that may trip me up are:
a) finding time to meet with the farm manager to discuss a grazing and cutting regime for the orchard - difficult because he's only in during the week and I'm only in during weekends except for large events and these regimes will somewhat determine what I can do and when.
b) sorting out the budget for the project - there is apparently a £1200 p/y budget already set aside which isn't a lot and we need to repair a lot of the current fencing as well as buy materials for new fencing/irrigation/etc.
c) soil prep - the orchard has a heavy clay soil which I think is the reason so many of the original trees didn't make it, and a lot of the plots have overgrown so it'll mean a lot of work from day 1.
My plan for the coming weekend is to take a long walk around the orchard to note any repairs/potential problem areas and fix the taps, weather permitting. We have an event on sunday so I'm hoping the farm manager will be in to have a discussion about it then.
#project apples#super excited for this project actually#I've really enjoyed working with the animals over the past 2 years on the farm but I want to branch out a bit#a lot of volunteers focus solely on the animal management so I'm switching my focus a little bit to land management#I've also been working on the wildflower beds and the memorial orchard (though it's mostly weeding) which has been fun#hoping I can find a few other volunteers to help me out but I'm also content with doing it solo#thought it would be nice to keep a little record of project apples on tumblr bc it'll help me get back into posting lol
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2024 Tumblr Top 10
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waow 2024 is almost dead!!! gone too soon. feels like it’s been a big year for me art-wise for many reasons, BUT. i’m making 2025 bigger.... hopefully....i’ve made some art goals for next year which i won’t explain in detail but they boil down to 1) do more studies 2) tackle my weaknesses (backgrounds, dynamic poses/angles, uhhh lots of stuff i am a one trick pony right now) 3) get into drawing comics, all of which are in preparation for 4) take my story ideas more seriously and get started on one of the many graphic novels living in my head. i have one in mind i HAVE to complete in my lifetime or i will die, but firstly i’m gonna mess around with some little standalone svanhildr comics perhaps. goat fans rejoice.
anyway i wasn’t meant to ramble so i’ll just say THANK YOU for the support as always!!! i’m very flattered all of these have more than 1000 notes.....crazy. thank you. muah
#tumblrtop10#my art#looking forward to 2025 i really really REALLY REALLY want to get stuck in with my story ideas.....#my main passion project i'm more and more leaning into not even sharing i cannot lie. it's very personally made for ME to love and enjoy#and i suck at a lot of what i'd need to draw for it (humans interior backgrounds and an art style that's at least a little gritty)#GOD it's been taking over my mind so much i want to gnaw on it but it's in my head#so maybe i'll just do a first draft for me and me alone and when i'm in my 30s and maybe better at those things i can draw it finally#actually one of the characters for that features here hiii mockley!!! coming in at number 2 most popular of 2024 i'm so proud of her#her design's come a long way i'm kind of super happy with her as always <3 i love you my repressed old woman dinosaur#ALSO i'm SOOOOO excited about a character i made recently i can't wait to share her with the world#she's been a LONG time coming....my goirl.....#i will hopefully show her off in the new year#ALSO no one will see this i'm sure but thank you to my commissioners for the patience#i have now finished my break and will continue drawing
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Preview of my page for @dungeonzine! I'm so happy I got to draw Senshi and the main party, they're all so dear to me.
You can check out the shop here! Everyone's work is so gorgeous, and all proceeds are going to World Central Kitchen!
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi is actually what drew me to dm in the first place! i saw a few pics of him and he was so cute i had to know his origins#this was also my first time drawing izu in this much detail but i always imagined her with more catlike features#like that one diagram showing how anime girls' faces are more proportionally similar to cats than humans#i hope she didn't come out looking too weird though! she made me fight for my life.. i just wanted her to be extra kitty#i also love how many artists represented izu's love of crushing chilchuck in this zine haha#all of the art is so so cute. i'm super excited to read the fics too#project stuff
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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Season 3 ending
So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.
It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)
I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.
I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.
Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).
(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')
And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)
And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><
So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.
It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.
But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^
So see you back here very soon 😘
#young royals#wilmon#prince wilhelm#simon eriksson#yr season 3#young royals ending#it's hard to feel negative about something everyone seemed to love ><#I still have a lot to say#to try to express#I have a hundred emotions about this finale episode#all mixing and fighting in my poor brain#and it's hard to put them into words#but I'm gonna try#because I think it'll help me feel better about this whole experience#and I did like some things!!#not everything was bad!!#lots of plot points were actually great!!#(Sara for example!!)#but yeah#a lot to process#(and I'm super up to chat about it all if anyone else feels a bit or a lot disappointed too ^^)#(and thank you Lisa for being there to lament with me 💜)#(also yeah me watching gåsmamman this week was clearly a way to not think too much about young royals ^^')#but on another note#I got my Omar concert tee shirt and it made me super happy#and I still love the cast#to the moon and back#and I'm excited for their next projects#and and and#that's too many tags
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Its all the Touhou "Dragons" time to shine
Its the Year Of The Dragon and the Touhou Dragon fanart has already started. It's really exciting to think the Dragon related Touhou girls are gonna get some more fan art this year and time to shine. Here's some pics of this year's star lineup.
Sannyo Komakusa, Dragon fangirl who decorates with Dragons any way she can. (Boss Theme: Smoking Dragon)
Megumu Iizunamaru, Whose name can be read as Dragon, making her getting eaten by dragon eater Momoyo a running joke
Hong Meiling, who's hat says dragon.
Iku Nagae, Oarfish messenger of the Dragon Palace.
Kasen Ibaraki, Has a pet Dragon.
And the biggest star, Touhou's more or less genuine Dragon:
Yachie Kicchou, Matriarch of the Kiketsu Family , species: Jidiao. Part Tortoise, Part Dragon.
And lastly as a bonus. their natural predator, (though not really, its just cute):
Momoyo Himemushi, species: Oomukade, and eater of dragons.
#sannyo Komakusa#yachie kicchou#megumu iizunamaru#Hong Meiling#Momoyo Himemushi#Dragon girls#touhou#Touhou#東方project#It's fun that zun makes dragon style characters but no dragons#Technically Yachie's our only real genuine part dragon and its super exciting that she's already getting so much fan art already#It's kinda funny that three of these girls were in my top 5 touhou characters. It's a coincidence but a happy one#I started with Sannyo because she's Sannyo but I ended with Yachie because she's an actual part dragon#touhou project#iku nagae#kasen ibaraki#happy new year#Year of the dragon
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : edgar vargas
#vargastober2023#vargastober#THESE ARE LIKE SO RUSHED BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING .....#the rest of these probably will be small doodles too .... i don't have time for anything else ughhh ugly crying#ALSO i want to thank everyone for the support i got today ! WOAH SO MANY NOTIFICATIONS !!#everyone here is so sweet i love this fandom ...#i'm like actually super excited over this project even though i know i won't have the time to make something pretty and detailed .....#i hate school so much ugh#but for now .... here .... *hands you this drawing* have this .... i hope it's enough .#ohhh he's so dear to me . like . for real .#fun fact i know almost every line of his part on issue 2#i just keep repeating it !! it's fun to say the dialogues out loud !#i went to a party today . oh so tired .#really stressing days ! sighhh .#LET'S JUST PRETEND IT'S STILL OCTOBER 1ST OKAY .#man i should be sleeping . see you tomorrow .#hope i can do at least a small doodle for nny . sighhhh !!#vargas#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#zarla s#doodles#sunny's art
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ok time for a (partial) round up of the 2024 Christmas gifts made! Honestly I need to start making these two years in advance I swear 😂 maybe then I'll have time to get better pictures
First up for my younger sister: BMO from adventure time!
Completed 1am Christmas day and dear lord never again. Initial plan was to use a beanbag to add some weight to help him sit but I couldn't find any so I did perhaps the most Canadian thing I've ever done, he has a hockey puck in him 😂
Next up for my friend L: yellow guy from DHMIS
I made her the red guy last year I do not like DHMIS, any of it I've seen has been under duress but she loves it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he's not quite the right colours but that's what I had lol he was mostly done in September and then I got sick of him and forgot how much I still had to complete so he was finished I think 4am? the day we were getting together and reminded me how much I hate attaching things together lmao
Next my friend K: Pigeon! (+ ghostbusters and coasters)
She loves pigeons. I've been giving her something pigeon and/or cat related for years now 😂 the Ghostbusters thing is a long story about oh god probably around a decade ago now but involved K terrorizing L and when I stumbled across this pattern entirely by accident I knew I HAD to make it and now it will haunt L every time we visit K&P bc what else are friends for? 😂 Not pictured are 4 Easter themed coasters I forgot I made for K two bunnies and two chickens and they reminded me how much I do not like crocheting with cotton yarn lol. Oh and the pigeon was done mostly 5-6am and did the 2nd wing and attached them ~9:30 an hour before I had to leave the house lol
Last for this post is P(Ks bf): Lethal Company bottle opener/magnet
If I thought my forearms and such hurt after doing hours of knitting that's got nothing on nearly doing this all in one day. Tiny coping saw (to cut out the profile), and hours of Dremel carving, and then Dremel and hand sanding take a toll the next day lol. All the dark parts are carved out maybe 1/8"? Then a dark stain applied in the carved spaces, then the lighter brown stain varnish applied to the entire piece. The stains themselves are random ones I picked off the shelf lmao for the image I just transfered a png of I think the characters helmet which is the game launch icon? All I know is it's a videogame that K said P loved 😂 completed mostly in one day 2 days before gifting, bottle opener insert and magnets glued in around midnight day of bc I had to wait for stuff to dry lol
And of course each person who got a gift (handmade or not) from me got one of those knitted star ornaments :) pt 2 & pt 3
#knitting#crochet#my projects#i have more gifts to finish and give next weekend lmao#one knitted thats almost finished really just needs assembly. another bottle opener of a different design.#potentially something crocheted for my brother but i may just find something to buy lol#finish my sisters thing that for months has just needed the last bit of decorative stitching that i dont wanna do and then something small#and im honestly debating redoing my bil's bottle opener. its the first one i made before i actually got the proper inserts for the back :/#i may be able to make it work. i need to check if theres space for a magnet bc if not then im redoing it#i feel like for gifts i need to include like a little note explaining my thought process behind it bc i feel like it doesnt come across#like for my bil he was talking about how he was really into the alchemy part of skyrim atm so i used the specific symbol the game uses#for alchemy and made that the bottle opener shape. but bc i dont play skyrim then its like i dont know if its a super recognizable thing#or im just making a super deep cut 😂#same w for my sil. shes getting a little mushroom guy bc she was talking about how into mushrooms she was and my brother is lowkey#terrorized by it in the apt bc hes allergic and theres just a poster taunting him so of course i had to contribute#even that ghostbusters thing is a deep cut but at least i knew that K & L would remember it even if i had to jog the memory#anyways im really bored at work lmao. i didnt bring any of my portable projects w me bc i was giving my hands a break and honestly felt#too tired but i have regrets now lol i wanna make something. like oh those 6 more stars i gotta make. i dont wanna but i have to#i will be so excited once im finished with gifts so i can make something new. that will inevitably be a gift lol. i dont keep things i make#my textposts#christmas gift making
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begging linkedin to stop showing my unemployed animator ass self "how to make art with AI" posts please stop i already have to scroll through 20 posts of my friends quitting the industry every day LMAO
#talked to a man at an event tonight and . might get a layout gig with him. maybe. maybe#i don't feel like i'm particularly jinxing it even because i will be miserable in a layout job but omg...not being unemployed <3#pers#plus he's opened a 3D studio locally which is#super exciting!? so i can maybe transition back into animation through that#or go straight into anim I DON'T KNOW I'M GONNA EMAIL HIM a bunch of my friends work there#and they actually have. PROJECTS. WHICH IS CRAZY#so it's less a "if'' they'll hire more and more ''when'' but . but#yeah i need to get out of this industry i guess. tbh. to be honest with you#like he knows me and likes me so i feel decently confident. he approached me recently to OFFER me a job whcih i turned down cos i'm DUMB an#was burnt out
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can't play any other game anymore. I just want traod remastered all day every day
#personal#and rebirth <3 which is out next week yayayyayay#but traod remastered aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhh#I'm rereading that article from yesterday over and over and I'm cryingggggggg#we are getting so much shit restored into the game#they are adding weapon accessories like wym we gonna have silencer and lasersight?#the gameplay will be more fun and actual stealth will be fixed as it was supposed to? 👁️👁️#also kurtis FINALLY getting the justice as well#''kurtis can now also project a psychic shield around his body and ability to wield the chirugai in-game'' HELLOOOOO???#he can also move like lara so he is not gonna be super glitched anymore which used to annoy me so much#''various voice lines from lara and kurtis have been restored providing more context#to help players better understand the story and offer additional hints'' i am SOOOOOO excited for this :'D#they are also suggesting to use modern controls for this since it's been more improved#I'm sorry for being annoying about this and yapping but I'm just so happy my fav childhood game getting fixed after yearssssssssss#especially being told by others that it will never happen#but here it is :')
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Omg, also a TS fan since debut and I massively took a step back from her personally prior to the reputation era because of her antics and victim complex. The music will always mean so so much to me, her lyrics mean so much to me, but her actions as a person and TS™️ as an entity is just weird and greedy. I think she accrued a lot of fans when she disappeared for a while who've completely constructed a narrative in their heads of who she is and they believe it and are eating up this current era, but those who've been here a long time know how PR and image driven it is. Exhausting.
I apologize in advance I have been having way too many feelings about this whole situation and how it relates to my identity as a 28 year old woman and you are about to get an oversharing novel in response lol
Also, I guess CW: this post is about Taylor Swift and if anyone sends me any kind of hate or whatnot related to my own personal opinions and feelings I will be deleting it because I am NOT playing that game.
My Aunt bought me the Debut album CD at a concert after seeing her open for Rascal Flatts. She was like "I thought that you would like her!" and she was RIGHT Taylor Swift became my entire personality. One of my FAVORITE core memories as a child was the day Fearless came out. For some reason we didn't have school, and my Mom and I watched Taylor on the Ellen show, and then we went to Target and bought the physical CD, we then drove around town so we could listen to it together. My mom hasn't been well and that is one of my favorite memories of us together. It's silly but when you're in middle school that kind of thing is important to you. Then in high school I actually got MADE FUN OF for wearing Taylor merch and being excited about Red. BUT I loved her music and felt like she actually stood for something, so I brushed it off and continued to be a HUGE Swiftie. I had the Taylor Swift dolls, I had the perfumes, I had the LOVE LOVE LOVE bracelet, I had the sundresses from WALMART. I saw her on the Fearless and 1989 tours, I had the fucking 1989 haircut. I was supposed to go to Loverfest.
I was still a HUGE Swiftie during the post 1989-pre Reputation eras, then the Reputation era. I'm a few years younger than her, but I felt like I could relate to the kind of manic panic that she was sharing with us (lol turns out I was just unmedicated and we're doing much better now). It felt (in my probably naive mind) like she was experiencing the same insecurities that I was and reacting accordingly. Was she playing the victim at times? Oh 100% BUT I also fully believe that she thought she was one. (Plus... Kim is my least favorite Kardashian lol)
I LOVED the Lover era even as it was shit on at the for the sunshine rainbow hyper colorful aesthetic. Like, I don't know if new fans realize but when Lover was released? It was NOT as beloved as it is now. Then Folklore and Evermore were absolute genius, it felt like Taylor had grown up, and she got all of these new fans, which was great! She was in an "adult" relationship and her music and publicity choices seemed to reflect that. It was so refreshing to see a celebrity keeping their personal life, personal, and sharing what they wanted to share through music. Midnights broke all kinds of records, again, amazing! Even if it wasn't as strong as say Folklore. I fought for my life and got Eras Tour tickets (opening weekend!!) I had the BEST TIME EVER.
Taylor has always been extremely calculated with her public image. She was over exposed during The 1989 era and the public turned on her, so I truly cannot figure out why she is doing it again 100x in this new era of whatever the fuck this is. I don't know her, maybe she is legitimately happy, or maybe this is a cry for help. But I have been so grossed out by her behavior lately, and how in your face everything is with Kelce. It's no secret that I hate Kelce (and people that know me IRL know that it's not a new Taylor related thing lol) and if she actually loves him, fine, that's great for her, BUT we don't need to see it! Yes she was public when she was dating Calvin but ALSO she was what 25-26? She's a 34 year old woman now with the biggest platform of any celebrity ever. She feels too old (and this is not me age shaming her because I would be grossed out if my friends were doing it, and I would be embarrassed if *I* were to ever do it) to be licking a man's face in public like this. This feels like sorority girl in her first college relationship (I was *in* a sorority for a hot second so this isn't hate on sorority girls either!) and not record breaking Grammy award winning artist. ALSO I feel like she used to come across as so articulate and well spoken? Controversial opinion but I thought she sounded like a fucking idiot in that Time Person of the Year piece.
I think that this whole thing is PR for something, but because it just feels too icky to be real, but I don't know what it's PR for, (trying to bury the Matty situation from May? Because if so that just makes me even more sad for him or trying to get back at Joe? Which if that's the case, I feel bad for him too and she's even more immature than I thought) and now, for the first time, AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS I'm embarrassed to be a fan of her, both because of her own actions and also the actions of her fanbase as a whole.
It feels really weird, and I know I'm being parasocial about it, but when the times got bad I always had her music to fall back on and now I just, I don't know it feels cheapened somehow because the current image that's being crafted doesn't match the one that we originally fell for. And you know what, people change, she's a celebrity, I don't know her, what she does DOES NOT affect me any way, and how I feel does not AFFECT HER in the slightest, and I know it's being parasocial but I feel like a big part of me is in mourning about it. Less because of her changing her image so drastically, and more so because I feel like I'm mourning the loss of childhood and joy that used to be associated with her music for me and I think that's what's making me the most sad.
I have Eras tour tickets for one of the London dates this summer. I'm probably going to still go, because I paid for them, and I also have tickets to see Noah Kahan that same week in London (... and also the Longines tour has ALSO decided that the London stop is that week...) But I don't consider myself a "big fan" anymore. Maybe I will be one day again, but this current image that she's putting out just isn't it for me.
Sorry for the longest Taylor related novel in existence, I have had a lot of bottled up feelings about this that feel ridiculous typing out and sharing out loud BUT I know I will feel better sending them into the interwebs and your ask was the perfect catalyst.
Thank you so much for sending this in and for your continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics and my secret sports hot takes 😂
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#i am so sorry this got so long#i just started word vomiting and couldnt stop#then i started crying thinking about my mom#and yeah anyway i am 100% sober just dramatic lol#dont worry i will still be working on you know where the city is#Fictional!2014/2015 taylor has not made me sad lol#and i know it doesnt matter or actually impact me and its super parasocial and probably not healthy that im sad about all of this#BUT i love projecting my feelings and shit onto other things#and why deal with the ~other trauma~ in my life#when i could just... be bummed out about taylor swift turning into a trashy hoe instead of the poet we thought she was#BUT IN IMPORTANT AND EXCITING NEWS#the way i am so hype for this beyonce country album#im not even a beyonce stan#i dont even know if i would go as far as saying im a casual fan#but 16 carriages is so good#and im so excited to see what the rest of the album has in store#also please be nice to me im being vulnerable on the internet#because i am too stubborn to be vulnerable in real life#... there is a 75% chance i am going to panic delete this later but oh well here it is
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me when!;!!! my friends are fans of my writing!!! we're working on a dev project and I get to be the main writer!!!!!! they like it enough to use it!!!!!
#passion project for college moment#I'm actually super excited about it#probably won't talk about it much on here but#they're letting me!!!! Me!!!! write the lore!!!!#I have to wait to stsrt cause it's very heavily based on the mechanics#but we've started brainstorming for some of our characters#hype!!!! hype!!!!! hehehehe
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Meet the author
Very new but enthusiastic member of the F1 fandom, with lots of love for all of the pilots.
I'm absolutely Max biased and I only ship Lestappen actively - that being said: Versainz is incredibly dear to me
I'm here for a good time, I care about the human side of the racing aka the drivers own personality and relationships with each other on and off the grid.
Name: Bandi
Age: 25
Pronouns: he/him
What am I writing?
A Pacific Rim AU that is focusing on the drift compatibility of the F1 drivers as Jaeger pilots.
It doesn't have a main plot, I am planning on writing what I feel like writing, there will be many character studies and relationship studies, very small amount of plot or world building.
I also plan on designing Jaegers and pilots suits based on F1 cars and racing teams.
For the fic my main focus is on Max, Charles, Lando, Danny, Seb, Carlos.
It will eventually have Lestappen in it but first I have to set the scene for how's the life of these pilots are going in this not so distant utopia.
Eventually I'll probably write more and smaller stuff so feel free to chat about writing and shipping with me, I'm more than happy to interact with you guys <3
#I'm super excited for my project since it will be my first fic I actually plan on sharing in English#Writing lestappen fics is very intriguing tbh so I shall give it a go soon#I had enough of writing seriously I miss having fun with fanfiction and not treating it as an academic paper#My Pacific Rim AU#Informal#f1#lestappen#He said me - me - little me? me
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Comfort drawing I did last week! To help get used to my scabs
Drawing Cole and I with our hair back was so much fun!! I also finally started drawing his scar, I know it was only in his design for one season but it just felt right
#griffins doodles#sooo erm funny story#I stopped posting because I injured my hand#aaaaaaaaand basically couldn’t draw more than a circle and a couple sketch lines at a time (a time being like per week)#It's still healing but I can actually finish drawings again so hooray!#I've been drawing a whole bunch recently for projects with friends but this is the first digital Cole piece I've gotten around to since#so yeah!! super excited to share my art again!!!#ninjago#ninjago self insert#ninjago cole#self ship#self shipping#lego ninjago#ninjago fanart
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can’t believe I’m proposing a fandom study for a fellowship grant for graduate school 🧍🏻♀️dream job type shit lmfao
#babblingbrook babbles#if you told 9 year old me she’d be trying to study fandoms as an entire job#… she probably would’ve believed you actually ngl#ITS JUST REALLY FUNNY#met with a whole professor from a grad school im looking at and she was super excited about my old fandom project#30 pages single spaced that’s been collecting dust LMFAO#listen it’s bc my mentor professor for that left the university after the semester ended okay#but anyways idk im kinda giddy rn gang#academia is stressful but dude this is so funny in concept that im rly sitting here like#looking for theories about fandoms and identity development#so i can get some money from the national science foundation#hilarious I fear
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going back to coding the EC text games I was making with python is so fun, especially since the two I've coded up until now are both set in the 2nd period and so I can go wild with storylines rn
#evillious chronicles#it literally started as a project for my programming course too#i was so excited while making the first game that even the teacher was super interested in the end result#i wonder if he ever actually played it lol#...though the first game is definitely... something.#it's not bad#it's just the 1st game i ever made so it's kinda shitty and rushed bc like i said it was for a project so i had a deadline#i do have a remastered version that i made afterwards tho#nix's random posts
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