#sunbeams chapter 5

[oceandolores]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | chapter 4

Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader

"𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘴,"

summary: life has been perfect, just you and him, but the shadows of both of you and Joel's past has been haunting you again...

warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, r4p3, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.

CHAPTER 4

masterlist of the series

previous | chapter 3

next | chapter 5

The sun seemed to shine a bit brighter these days, casting a warm glow over your life since Joel had become more involved in it. His presence brought a newfound sense of safety and comfort, not just for you but for him as well. Joel, once a cold and distant figure, began to soften, melting into a warmer, more open person whenever you were around. It was as if the world belonged to just the two of you, and the bond you shared illuminated both your lives in profound ways.

Joel was now a regular at church, attending Sunday services and every fellowship event with renewed purpose. His participation didn't go unnoticed, especially by Tommy, Ellie, and Maria, who observed the positive changes in him. Joel still remained a man of few words, guarded and cautious, but your presence had undeniably brought a light into his life, guiding him out of the shadows.

For you, Joel became the protector you desperately needed. Whenever your father’s temper flared, you could escape to Joel, finding solace in his arms. He calmed your storms, just as you eased his burdens, becoming each other's anchor. You often sneaked out together to the lake or climbed into the back of Joel’s truck to gaze at the stars. Those moments felt like the world stood still, with only the two of you and the infinite sky. Joel found himself no longer lost in the darkness; instead, he had found his light in you.

However, you both had to maintain a facade, keeping your relationship discreet to avoid the prying eyes of the community. Sneaking out, lying to your father about being at a friend's house, and stolen moments of intimacy became part of your routine. While you hadn't taken your relationship to a sexual level due to your trauma from Jamie, the nights spent cuddling, kissing, and talking were enough for Joel. Though he sometimes felt the stirrings of desire, he respected your boundaries, focusing instead on the depth of your connection.

Joel sometimes took you out of town, exploring Austin or Houston. You visited night markets, played in arcades, and strolled through bustling streets. Joel despised arcades, but the sound of your laughter and the sight of your carefree smile made every annoying game worthwhile. Every time you smiled, it was as if a sunbeam pierced through the clouds in Joel's heart, warming a place he had thought forever cold.

"Got another project comin' up," Joel said one evening as you sat together in his truck, overlooking the hills. "A big one. Tommy thinks it's too much work for the crew we got, but I reckon we can handle it."

"Tell me more about it," you prompted, even though construction details often went over your head. You loved hearing Joel talk about his work; the passion in his voice made you feel closer to him.

"It's an office building downtown. Gonna be a challenge because we gotta keep the old facade. Means a lotta careful demolition, precision work. Gotta bring in some new folks, too, ones who know their way around older structures."

You nodded, trying to visualize it. "Sounds complicated."

"It is," he admitted, a touch of pride in his voice. "But we got a good team. Tommy's been talkin' to some contractors. We need people who can do the job right, you know? Can’t afford any mistakes."

"I believe you can do it," you said earnestly. "You’re amazing at what you do."

He chuckled softly. "You’re sweet." Joel's hand reached up, his rough fingers gently caressing your chin. His touch was like a warm breeze on a chilly evening, comforting and electrifying at the same time. Joel’s gaze held yours, his brown eyes deep and intense, like molten chocolate, filled with something you couldn’t quite decipher but felt deeply within your soul.

Every touch, every look from him, made you melt. It was as if you were a snowflake landing on a sun-warmed pavement, vanishing into a pool of warmth under the intensity of his presence. You giggled, the sound light and musical, breaking the silence.

"What?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.

Joel shook his head slowly, his smile spreading across his face, tender and genuine. "Nothin', darlin'," he said, his voice calm, gentle, and sincere.

Joel couldn’t fully grasp his feelings, but being with you made him feel alive in a way he hadn't in years. He knew this might be wrong, but it felt so good, like a burst of sunlight through storm clouds, casting colors on a world that had been grey for too long. Ever since Sarah and his wife had passed, his life had been a landscape painted in shades of grief and loss. Ellie had brought back some light, but what he felt with you was different, something more vivid, more profound.

His world had been a desolate canvas, splashed with only the darkest hues. But you were the burst of color, the brush of a vibrant dawn, illuminating the shadows that had consumed him. You were his beacon, guiding him from the darkness, painting his existence with the brightest of shades. And though it scared him, it also filled him with a warmth and a hope he hadn’t dared to feel in a long time.

***

After school, you found yourself in the familiar warmth of the kitchen, the comforting scent of vanilla and sugar filling the air. Your mother, in her element, was bustling around, gathering ingredients for a cake and cookies.

"Can you grab the eggs from the fridge, sweetheart?" she asked, her voice gentle.

You nodded, reaching into the refrigerator. As you handed her the carton, her hand brushed against your back, right where the still-healing bruises were. You flinched, unable to hide the sharp intake of breath.

Your mother's eyes widened, guilt flashing across her face. "I'm so sorry. Does..does it still...um hurt?" she asked softly, her voice trembling slightly.

You forced a smile, shaking your head. "No, Mama, it's okay. It's getting better."

She hesitated, her eyes lingering on you with a mixture of worry and sorrow. "I know I haven't... I haven't done enough to protect you," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry for that. I'm just... I’m so afraid of your father."

You placed a hand on her arm, trying to offer some comfort. "Mama, it's alright. I understand. Let's just focus on the baking, okay?"

Your mother nodded, her relief palpable. She turned back to the counter, trying to regain her composure. "So, have you noticed how Joel’s been coming to church more often lately?"

You tensed slightly at the mention of Joel, careful to keep your expression neutral. "Yeah, I noticed."

Your mother smiled, though it was tinged with curiosity. "You know, he’s changed a lot over the years. He used to be so different when Sarah and his wife were alive."

You couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity. You knew bits and pieces about Joel’s past but had never heard the full story. "What was he like back then?"

"Joel was a wonderful father and husband. He adored Sarah and Jane," your mother said, her eyes softening with nostalgia. "Jane and I were good friends. They were high school sweethearts, you know. Joel got Jane pregnant in high school, and they got married right after graduation. He worked so hard to provide for them."

You listened intently as your mother spoke, the rhythm of her words blending with the sounds of baking—mixing bowls clinking, the oven humming softly. Joel had never brought up his past daughter and wife when he was with you. It was as if a part of his heart was still locked away, guarded against the pain of revisiting those memories. You felt a mixture of sadness and curiosity, wishing he would open up to you but understanding his need to protect himself from that pain.

As your mother continued, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Joel’s heart was still closed off, like a house with the windows shuttered, sunlight struggling to seep through the cracks. "After they died, Joel was never the same," your mother said softly, her voice carrying the weight of her memories. "He isolated himself, barely spoke to anyone. He stopped coming to church, buried himself in work and alcohol. It was like the light went out of him."

You continued to bake, your hands moving automatically as you processed your mother's words. The more you learned, the more you understood the layers of grief and resilience that made up the man you had come to care for so deeply.

"Did you know his wife well?" you asked, curious about the woman who had once been such a significant part of Joel’s life. You felt a twinge of jealousy, knowing that Joel had once opened his heart fully to another woman, something he hadn't done with you yet.

Your mother nodded, her smile tinged with sadness. "Yes, she was one of my closest friends. Jane was kind and loving, always had a smile on her face. They were perfect together. Losing her was a blow Joel never really recovered from."

You felt a pang in your chest, imagining the life Joel had once had—a life filled with love and happiness that was abruptly shattered. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel empathy for him, understanding the depth of his loss and the strength it took for him to keep going.

Your mind swirling with thoughts. Joel had been through so much, yet he found the strength to care for Ellie and, in his own way, for you. He was like a fortress, strong and unyielding, yet vulnerable to the storms that battered him.

Your mother’s voice brought you back to the present. "Since he adopted Ellie, he's shown glimpses of the old Joel. But he still struggles. He’s still grumpy and distant. It was as if he built a wall around himself, shutting out the world to avoid more pain."

You couldn’t help but feel a surge of empathy for Joel. He had been through so much, yet he found a way to care for you and Ellie. "And now he's starting to come back to church," your mother said softly.

"It's good to see him more involved again. He deserves some happiness."

You smiled, though your heart was heavy with the knowledge of what you shared with Joel. "Yeah, he does," you agreed, hoping that somehow, against all odds, you could both find the happiness you deserved.

Your mom glanced at you, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. "I wonder what’s changed in him," she mused. "Maybe he’s finally opening up his heart for another woman."

Your body tensed at her words. She continued, "Ever since he became a widower, there have been plenty of women interested in him. It’s a small town, you know. Everyone knows everything. But he's always been so... cold and distant. Joel is handsome, successful, and a gentleman. Don't tell your father I said that." She chuckled, and you just smile to her.

Inside, you couldn't help but agree. Joel was indeed handsome and a gentleman, so different from your father. Your father, who should have been the epitome of kindness and morality as a preacher, was anything but. His exterior was polished and righteous, but inside, he was rotten. Joel, on the other hand, seemed rough on the outside but was truly good at heart.

Your mother sighed, "It’s good for Joel, though. It’s about time he moved on and built a new life. Maybe he’ll find a nice woman his age, someone who can be a good mother to Ellie. Adam needs his Eve, after all."

Her words made you uncomfortable, a knot forming in your stomach. You couldn’t bear the thought of Joel with someone else. The jealousy gnawed at you, knowing your mother would lose her mind if she ever discovered you were the reason for Joel’s recent change. You also felt a pang of insecurity, realizing how much older Joel was, how he could practically be your father. There were so many women in town who were more age-appropriate for him, attractive and mature, whereas you felt small and insignificant in comparison.

You focused on mixing the batter, trying to push away the uncomfortable thoughts. "Yeah, maybe," you mumbled, not trusting yourself to say more.

Your mother didn't seem to notice your discomfort. She continued to chatter about the town gossip, but your mind was elsewhere. You wondered if Joel ever thought about these things—marry a nice woman and built a new life? You knew he cared for you, but could he see a future with you, or was this just a fleeting moment in his life?

As you finished the cake and placed it in the oven, you couldn't shake off the thoughts swirling in your head. Joel was a beacon of light in your life, but the future felt uncertain. You wished you could ask him, but the fear of his answer kept you silent.

The cookies were done baking, and your mother placed them in two jars. "Take these over to Joel’s house and then to Tommy's," she said, handing you the jars and placing them in a sturdy tote bag to make it easier to carry on your bike.

You nodded, appreciating the excuse to see Joel. As you rode your bike through the familiar streets, the wind swept across your face, carrying the sweet scent of summer and the promise of evening. The sky was a canvas of blue and orange, painting a picturesque scene straight out of a movie. You loved this town—the southern charm, the way everyone knew each other—but part of you hated it, longed to escape its confines and the shadows that lurked within your home.

Arriving at Joel’s house, one of the bigger ones in the neighborhood, you parked your bike in the driveway and grabbed one of the cookie jars. Knocking on the door, as you always did instead of using the bell, you expected Ellie to answer since Joel’s truck wasn’t in the driveway.

The door opened, and instead of Ellie, it was Joel standing there. His face softened the moment he saw you.

"Hey, Mr. Miller," you said, deliberately using his formal title to tease him a bit.

Joel chuckled, his eyes warm. "Hey, doll."

You lifted the jar slightly. "Mom sent some cookies. She thought you might like them."

Joel took the jar from your hands, his fingers brushing yours. "Oh, that's nice of her, well, do want to come in?"

"Maybe for a little," You followed him inside, the familiar coziness of his home wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. Joel set the jar on the kitchen counter and turned to you, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.

"You alright?" he asked, sensing your unease.

You smiled, trying to brush off your worries. "Yeah, just... thinking about stuff."

Joel stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup your chin. His touch was rough but tender, sending shivers down your spine. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

You nodded, looking up into his eyes. They were deep pools of warmth and safety, and every time you looked into them, you felt like you could melt. "I know," you whispered.

For a moment, you just stood there, lost in each other's gaze. Joel’s eyes held something you couldn’t quite decipher, a mix of emotions that made your heart race. You giggled nervously, breaking the silence.

"What?" you asked, feeling self-conscious.

Joel shook his head slowly, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Nothin'."

You giggled again. "You have to stop looking at me like that."

Joel raised an eyebrow, still smiling. He's leaning in to kiss you, "Like what?"

You blushed, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. Before Joel could kiss you, you both heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Quickly, you stepped away from each other.

"Oh, hey, I thought I heard someone knocking," Ellie said, entering the kitchen.

"Hey, Ellie," you greeted her. "My mom and I made some cookies, and she sent you some. I thought I’d drop by for a bit."

Ellie grinned and walked over to you and Joel. She glanced at Joel, noticing his slightly flushed face, and raised an eyebrow. "You okay, Joel?"

Joel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, just, uh, a bit of dust or somethin'."

Ellie opened the jar and took a cookie. "These are great. Thanks!" She turned to you. Joel took a cookie as well, taking a bite and nodding in approval.

"You made this?" Joel asked, looking impressed.

You blushed a little. "Well, I just helping my mom."

"I take that as a yes and this is good," Joel said, his eyes warm.

"Thank you," you replied, feeling a rush of warmth from his compliment.

Ellie turned her attention to you. "So, how’s school? I haven’t seen you much lately."

You shrugged. "Just busy with a lot of things."

Ellie nodded. "I heard you’re in charge of the church dance troupe for the event next week."

"Yeah," you said, smiling.

Ellie smirked playfully. "And I heard Pastor Ben picked you as soon as he saw you. I think he likes you."

Joel’s expression changed, his jaw tightening slightly. "Who's Ben?"

Ellie glanced at Joel, oblivious to his jealousy. "Pastor Ben is the new young pastor who’s going to be taking over while Father Gibson is away for a couple of weeks."

"Yeah," you added. "He’s just helping out while my dad is on a trip to New Orleans for the church."

Ellie nodded enthusiastically. "He's super popular with the girls at school. They all think he’s really handsome."

You laughed lightly, trying to diffuse the tension. "He’s just being friendly, Ellie."

Joel’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he forced a casual tone. "How old is he?"

"Not sure," Ellie said, shrugging. "Maybe late twenties?"

"Oh," he said.

Joel's face remained impassive, but the tension in his jaw betrayed his emotions. He didn’t want to show too much, to let on how much it bothered him that someone else might have an eye on you. After all, anyone would notice your beauty—your presence was like a beacon, drawing people in with your pure, radiant light. Men and boys alike found themselves captivated by you, your allure almost heavenly. Joel, despite not being religious, found himself silently praying that he could keep you to himself.

He knew that your beauty wasn’t just skin-deep. There was something about you that felt untouched, ethereal—a stark contrast to the gritty world he had come to know. You were his salvation, a glimpse of purity and hope in his otherwise dark and turbulent life.

Ellie changed the subject, sensing the awkwardness. "Anyway, are you excited about leading the dance troupe?"

"Yeah, it should be fun," you replied, grateful for the shift in conversation. "It’s a lot of work, but I think it’ll be worth it."

"Maybe you want to join, Ellie?" you said teasing her, "Oh hell nah," Ellie answered making a disgusting face, you chuckled.

Joel remained quiet, his eyes flicking between you and Ellie. You could tell he was still processing the idea of Pastor Ben, but he seemed to be trying to push it aside.

"Well, thanks for the cookies," Ellie said, taking another bite. "They’re delicious."

"Glad you like them," you said with a smile. "I should probably get going. I need to drop the other jar off at Tommy’s."

Joel’s expression softened as he looked at you. "Let me walk you out," he said. As Ellie remained engrossed in the cookies, Joel gently took your hand, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"When is your father leaving for New Orleans?" Joel asked in a low voice as he guided you towards the door.

"Tonight, around eight," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Joel’s eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief as he leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear. "Can you sneak out tonight?" he whispered, his hand lightly caressing yours.

You smirked and nodded, a blush spreading across your cheeks.

Joel’s eyes darted around, ensuring no one was watching. "I’ll pick you up behind your house at nine," he whispered, his voice a mix of excitement and caution. His rough hand felt like a contrast to your soft skin, a stark reminder of the different worlds you both came from, yet a perfect match in this moment.

You felt a flutter in your chest, a combination of anticipation and desire. His touch was electric, sending a rush of warmth through your veins. You wanted to hold onto this feeling, the thrill of the forbidden, the secret moments that were just for the two of you.

Joel leaned in and pressed a quick, sweet kiss to your cheek, ensuring no one was watching. You felt your heart race, the sensation of his lips lingering on your skin.

"I’ll see you later," he murmured, stepping back slightly. "Take care."

You nodded, trying to contain your excitement. "You too," you said softly, your voice tinged with the happiness you felt inside.

The whole way to Tommy’s house, you couldn’t stop blushing. Riding your bike, you felt the wind rush past you, the world around you vibrant and alive. The sky was a brilliant canvas of blue and orange, the southern landscape unfolding like a scene straight out of a movie. Each pedal felt lighter, the anticipation of the night ahead filling you with a sense of freedom and exhilaration.

Reaching Tommy’s house, you parked your bike and grabbed the jar of cookies. Knocking on the door, you took a deep breath, the smile on your face unshakeable. Tonight held the promise of something special, and you couldn’t wait to see Joel again.

The house was a quiet, still tableau of ordinary life, its corners cast in the muted hues of nightfall. Your mother’s soft, tired footsteps echoed as she busied herself with the last-minute preparations for your father’s departure. From your vantage point in the dimly lit room, you could hear the rumble of his stern, authoritative voice as he issued his final instructions for his absence.

“Behave yourself, Evelyn. Take care of your duties.” your father’s voice cut through the air like a blade to your mother, “Make sure the house is in order," He said to your mother.

Your mother then called you from downstairs. “Come say goodbye to your father before he leaves.”

You descended the stairs with a heavy heart, each step a reluctant march towards the formality of your father's departure. His figure loomed large in the dimly lit foyer, his stern face illuminated by the flickering light from the chandelier above. The space around him seemed to shrink under the weight of his presence, a constant reminder of his authority and control.

Your father, already dressed in his traveling attire, turned to face you as you approached. His expression was as impassive as ever, his eyes scanning you with a critical gaze that never quite softened. “I expect you to behave while I’m away. Keep things in order, take care of your house duties with your mother and don’t let any mischief slip through. Pastor Ben will be in charge for the next two weeks."

You offered a formal, almost mechanical embrace, your body stiff as you pressed against him. The touch was brief, a quick and emotionless exchange that spoke more of obligation than affection. His words felt like a final checklist, a list of expectations that you had long learned to adhere to.

With a nod, you managed a polite, “Yes, daddy."

As he turned to leave, he gave one last instruction, his voice trailing off as he stepped toward the door. “Remember, be a good Christian girl. Stay close to God. Make sure you’re not a burden to your mother.”

After he had gone, your mother’s weary voice called from the kitchen. “Sweetheart, would you like something to eat? There are leftovers in the fridge. I’m quite tired and I think I'm gonna go to bed early,”

You shook your head, feigning a lack of appetite. “No, I’m full, Mama. I’ll just head to bed.”

“Alright, dear,” she replied, her tone soft but tinged with fatigue. “Don’t forget to pray before you sleep.”

You watched her retreat to her room, her movements slow and burdened. The house felt emptier as she disappeared from view, and you knew it was time to execute your carefully laid plan.

With a quiet sigh, you slipped out of bed and crept to your window. The night was still and serene, the air cool against your skin as you pushed the window open. The backyard, bathed in the soft glow of the moon, felt like a secret world just waiting to be explored.

You carefully climbed out of the window, landing softly on the grass below. The night sky was a canvas of stars, each one a twinkling reminder of the possibilities that lay beyond the confines of your everyday life. The cool breeze ruffled your hair, carrying with it the scents of the garden—jasmine, freshly cut grass, and the distant promise of freedom.

In the darkness, Joel’s truck waited, a silent sentinel against the backdrop of the night. The vehicle was cloaked in shadows, its lights off to avoid attracting any unwanted attention. Your heart raced with anticipation as you approached, the thrill of the forbidden making your steps lighter and faster.

Sliding into the truck, you were greeted by Joel’s familiar presence. His face, partially illuminated by the dim interior light, softened as he saw you. A warm smile spread across his lips, his eyes sparkling with the same excitement that you felt.

Before you could say a word, Joel’s lips met yours in a passionate kiss. It was a moment of pure, unrestrained connection, the outside world falling away as the heat of his touch enveloped you. The kiss was fervent, a melding of stolen desires and whispered promises, each touch a testament to the intimacy you shared.

Joel’s hands were rough and warm, their contrast to your soft skin sending a shiver through your body. As he pulled away, his eyes held a deep, unspoken affection that spoke louder than any words could. “Hey there, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice a soothing balm in the quiet cabin.

The truck’s engine roared to life, a low, rumbling purr that vibrated through the seats. The world outside seemed to blur as Joel drove through the empty streets, the city lights casting fleeting golden streaks across the windshield. Each streetlamp was a beacon in the darkness, guiding you through a night that felt like a dream.

With every mile that passed, the weight of your ordinary life lifted, replaced by the vivid colors of this stolen moment. The night sky above was a tapestry of dreams and possibilities, a perfect backdrop for the intimate adventure you were embarking upon.

The truck rolled to a gentle stop at the top of a secluded hill, its path winding through the darkened landscape like a secret road leading to a hidden sanctuary. The night sky stretched out above, an endless canvas dotted with twinkling stars, their cold light a delicate contrast to the warm cocoon of the truck's interior. Joel’s touch was a constant comfort, the warmth of his hand against yours a promise of the intimacy you shared.

You and Joel made your way to the truck's open bed, where a soft blanket had been laid out. The fabric was cool beneath you, but the warmth of Joel’s body beside you quickly dispelled any chill. You settled in together, his arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace as you both lay back to gaze at the sprawling expanse of the cosmos.

The night was a silent witness to your closeness, the stars above flickering like distant, celestial eyes. The moon hung low, casting a soft, silvery light over the landscape, making the moment feel surreal and dreamlike. Joel’s presence was a soothing balm, his breaths steady and calming against the backdrop of the night.

As you both lay there, the peacefulness of the night was punctuated by your conversation. The topics ranged from trivial to profound, each word a thread weaving the tapestry of your shared moment. The serenity of the night made every laugh and whisper seem more intimate, more precious.

Then, Joel’s voice broke the quiet, a hint of curiosity lacing his words. “Tell me more about this Ben,” he asked, his tone light but edged with something you couldn’t quite place.

You chuckled, rolling onto your side to face him. “Ben? Oh, he’s just this new pastor. He’s always paying attention to me, it's weird...my friends keep telling me like he likes me, but he's not really my type. He's...too boyish,” you said, trying to convey your disinterest.

Joel’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Boyish? He’s an adult.”

You smiled, playfully snuggling closer. “Yeah, but he’s not you.”

Joel’s eyes flickered with something akin to jealousy, though he quickly masked it with a nonchalant shrug. “Jealous?” you teased, noticing the subtle shift in his demeanor.

Joel gave a soft chuckle, his laughter mingling with the ambient sounds of the night. “I’m not jealous.”

You continued to tease him, your light-hearted jokes breaking through the quiet night air. Each laugh and playful nudge seemed to draw you both closer, your bond solidified by the shared humor and intimacy of the moment.

However, your mind wandered back to the conversation you’d overheard with your mother. The stories of Joel’s past, of Sarah and Jane, lingered like shadows at the edge of your thoughts. A wave of curiosity and a tinge of apprehension washed over you.

“Joel,” you began tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper, “how come you never tell me about your life?"

"What do you mean, doll?"

"About Sarah and Jane,"

Joel’s body stiffened beside you, his hand retracting from its position on your waist. The shift was palpable, a stark contrast to the easy closeness you’d just shared. His face hardened slightly, a veil of discomfort settling over his features.

He looked away, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon. “What do you want to know?” he asked, his voice guarded and distant.

You felt a pang of regret, your heart aching at the sight of his discomfort. The stars above, once a symbol of wonder and possibility, now felt like distant witnesses to a moment of unspoken pain. You struggled to find the right words, the metaphors of your own emotions becoming tangled in the reality of Joel’s guarded heart.

“I...I just want to understand,” you said softly, your voice trembling slightly. “I know about your life, but it feels like there’s so much more you haven’t shared.”

"And you knew about mine, all of it," you said again.

Joel’s silence was heavy, a deep, almost tangible weight that pressed against your chest. The night seemed to stretch on forever, the stars above a cold, indifferent audience to the emotions playing out beneath them. The warmth of Joel’s touch was still there, but it now felt like a fragile thread, tenuous and delicate.

Joel’s gaze softened, but the weight of his past seemed to anchor him, pulling him into a place he wasn’t ready to share. “It’s not easy to talk about,” he admitted, his voice trembling with a mixture of regret and sadness. “Some things are just too hard to revisit.”

Your heart ached at his vulnerability, and you reached out, your voice gentle. “You can open up to me, Joel. I want to listen. You always listen whenever I’m down. I’m here with you,”

Joel’s eyes flickered with a storm of emotions, a mix of frustration and something else, but he remained quiet. You pressed on, your fingers lightly grazing his hand. “Do you ever think about them?"

A tense silence followed, Joel’s expression darkening. He clenched his jaw, struggling with the weight of his emotions. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, his voice strained and edged with anger.

You tried to close the distance, your hand still resting on his. “Joel, it’s okay to open up.”

But before you could say more, Joel’s frustration erupted. “I just don't want to talk about it!” he snapped, his voice sharp and louder than you’d ever heard.

You flinched, your heart racing as the sudden intensity of his reaction hit you. The night, once a haven of comfort and connection, now felt oppressive, the stars above seeming distant and indifferent to the turmoil unfolding below.

Joel’s eyes widened as he saw the fear in your gaze, and his anger dissipated almost immediately, replaced by regret and sorrow. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice breaking. “I didn’t mean to—”

You tried to steady yourself, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. “It’s okay,” you whispered, though your voice wavered. “I’m sorry."

Joel’s face crumpled with remorse, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. “No, no, it’s alright,” he said urgently, his hands trembling as they held you close. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

You let yourself sink into his embrace, the warmth of his body a balm against the sharp edges of your fear. Joel’s arms were strong and reassuring, his apologies sincere as he gently stroked your back, his touch a contrast to the harshness of his earlier words.

The night around you seemed to settle, the tension easing as Joel’s grip tightened, holding you as if he could shield you from the weight of his own emotions. The stars above continued to shine, their distant light a reminder of the vastness of the world and the smallness of your own worries in the grand scheme of things.

Joel’s voice was soft now, filled with the weight of his remorse. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just...I just can’t talk about it right now.”

You nestled closer against Joel, the warmth of his body enveloping you in a cocoon of comfort. “It’s okay, Joel,” you murmured softly, your voice a gentle caress against the backdrop of the night. “I’m sorry to push you, but I want you to know that I am here. Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be right here, just like you are for me.”

Joel’s fingers brushed against your hair, a tender gesture that spoke volumes. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, a whisper of affection that traveled down to your cheek and finally to your lips. The kiss was brief but sweet, a promise of connection and understanding. He pulled you back into his embrace, both of you gazing up at the star-speckled sky.

The vastness of the night felt like a canvas, stretching out endlessly before you. You could feel the weight of your desires and dreams mingling with the cool night air, and a yearning for freedom began to take shape in your heart. “Joel,” you said softly, breaking the comfortable silence between you. “I want to go out. I want to get away from all of this. Will you come with me one day?”

The sincerity in your voice carried a longing for escape, for a fresh start where the past could no longer cast its shadow. You wanted to run away, to leave behind the chains of hurt and disappointment and start anew with Joel by your side. The dream of leaving it all behind, just the two of you, was intoxicating—a chance to be free from the constraints of your everyday lives and the ghosts of your pasts.

Joel’s eyes met yours, a flicker of determination lighting up his features. He could see the raw honesty in your gaze, the hope that shimmered like the stars above. “I promise you,” he said, his voice steady and sincere, “one day, we will. We’ll get out of here and start fresh. Just you and me.”

You felt a flutter of relief and happiness at his words, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your heart. The idea of a future together, unburdened by the past, seemed within reach now, a possibility painted against the backdrop of the night sky. Joel’s promise was a beacon of hope, a light guiding you through the darkness.

You lay there, side by side, under the vast expanse of the universe, the stars shining brightly above you. The night felt endless, full of potential and promise. The warmth of Joel’s presence, the softness of his touch, and the certainty of his promise wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, making the future seem just a little bit brighter.

In the quiet moments that followed, you allowed yourself to dream of a different life, one where the past was a distant memory and the present was filled with endless possibilities. With Joel by your side, the journey ahead felt less daunting, and the dreams of escape and freedom seemed like they could one day become a beautiful reality.

***

The sun cast a warm, golden light over the school grounds as you and your classmates, including Emma, practiced your dance routines for the upcoming church event. The afternoon air was filled with the sounds of music and the rustle of your movements as you and your friends rehearsed, perfecting every step and spin. The new Pastor Ben, fresh from Mexico with his wife Jemima, observed with an encouraging smile, his presence adding an extra layer of excitement to the practice.

Pastor Ben, young and charismatic, was the center of attention for many of the girls. His charm and good looks had quickly made him popular, and you could see why. Though you knew he was married, the admiration from your friends was palpable. Jemima, his wife, had been less present in the community, focusing on settling into their new life. You hadn’t interacted with her much, and you were more familiar with Ben’s friendly demeanor and the sparkle in his eyes that made him somehow likable among your friends.

As the practice came to a close, you and Emma walked outside the school, discussing the day’s rehearsals and sharing your thoughts on the choreography. The conversation was light-hearted, filled with giggles and the occasional sigh as you both reflected on the challenges and progress made.

Suddenly, Pastor Ben appeared beside you, his presence both surprising and pleasant. “Afternoon, girls. How did the practice go today?” he asked, his attention clearly focused on you.

You could feel the warmth of his gaze as he continued, “Any difficulties? How are you finding the choreography?”

You answered, your voice steady but with a hint of nervousness, “We’re making good progress. There were a few tricky moves, but we’re getting there.”

Ben nodded, his eyes never straying far from you. “You’re doing really well. I’ve noticed you’ve been putting in a lot of effort. It shows.”

Emma, ever the enthusiastic friend, chimed in, “Oh, we’re just working hard! It’s been a lot of fun, though. Don’t you think Pastor Ben has been so encouraging?”

Ben smiled at her but turned his attention back to you. “I’m glad to hear that. I just wanted to check in and see how everyone’s doing. Is there anything you need help with?”

You felt a mix of emotions—flattered by his attention but also a bit uncomfortable given the context of the situation. Ben’s genuine interest was clear, but it was hard not to feel like you were under a spotlight.

“Thank you, Pastor Ben. I think we’re okay for now. It’s just a matter of practice,” Emma said.

He nodded, “If any of you ever need any extra guidance or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help.”

As Pastor Ben walked away, you felt a twinge of relief mixed with lingering confusion. You were still processing the interaction when Ellie’s familiar voice broke through, startling you slightly.

“Oh, that’s Pastor Ben,” Ellie said, a playful tone in her voice. She tapped you on the shoulder, making Emma and you turn to face her.

Emma grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yep, that’s the new hot pastor,"

Ellie looked between you and Emma with a knowing smile. “So, what’s the gossip on Pastor Ben?”

Before Emma could answer, you asked Ellie if she was heading home. Ellie shook her head, her excitement palpable. “Nope, I’m going out with Joel. We’re going to practice shooting. You know, for deer hunting. Joel and I usually do this.”

Just then, the sound of a truck horn pierced the air, and Ellie waved enthusiastically. “Ah, there’s Joel now. See you later, guys!”

You watched as Ellie walked toward the truck, your gaze meeting Joel’s for a brief moment. You tried to hide your blush, feeling the familiar flutter in your chest whenever Joel was near.

Emma then suddenly said, "Ah the town's DILF,"

You choked caught off guard. “What did you just say?”

Emma laughed, leaning in conspiratorially. “You know, DILF—‘Dad I’d Like to’—you know the type. Joel’s like the ultimate Southern gentleman. He’s got that rugged charm. He looks like he works with his hands, and I bet he smells like Marlboro Reds. Everyone’s talking about how lucky Ellie is. Goddamn, he's just hot,"

You felt your cheeks flush deeper, a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. “Emma, stop. He’s much older than us.”

Emma raised an eyebrow playfully. “Oh come on, you’re telling me you’ve never thought about Joel that way? I mean, he’s your dad’s best friend in high school, but just tell me you have right?”

You glared at Emma, trying to hide the twinge of jealousy you felt. “Emma, that’s inappropriate."

Emma pouted in mock innocence. “Oh, come on! Don’t be so uptight. We’re just talking. I’m sure you’ve had some thoughts, especially with how close you are with Joel right?"

You shook your head, trying to suppress the tumult of emotions bubbling inside you. “Seriously, Emma, I don’t want to talk about this.”

Emma grinned, undeterred. “Alright, alright. I’ll drop it. But you have to admit, Joel’s a pretty interesting guy.”

You gave her a half-smile, trying to brush off the teasing. “Emma..."

Emma’s grin remained as she walked alongside you, her excitement infectious despite your lingering discomfort. You both made your way home, your thoughts tangled with the events of the day.

As you approached your house, Emma’s voice broke through your thoughts. “Hey, you know what? My parents are out tonight. How about a sleepover at my place? We can hang out and have some fun. It’ll be a nice break before graduation.”

You hesitated, “I don’t know, Em. I’ve got a lot to prepare for graduation.”

Emma’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh, come on! It’ll be fun. Jim will be there too, and he’s a blast. Plus, you’ll have me to keep you entertained. What’s the harm?”

You raised an eyebrow, trying to mask your reluctance. “I don’t want to be the third wheel.”

Emma’s expression softened as she playfully pleaded. “Oh, please. It’ll be fine. Just come hang out. If you don’t, my parents might not let Jim over if it's just both of us. Pretty please?”

You sighed, weighing your options. Emma’s persistence was hard to resist, and you knew it would be a good chance to take your mind off things. “Alright, alright. I’ll come. But let me ask my mom first.”

Emma’s face lit up with joy. “Yes! Thank you! I promise we’ll have a great time.”

As you walked inside your house, you found your mom in the kitchen, preparing a simple dinner for herself. The smell of food filled the air, a comforting reminder of home.

“Mom, Emma invited me to a sleepover at her house tonight,” you said, trying to sound casual. “Is it okay if I go?”

Your mom looked up, her face reflecting mild surprise but also understanding. “A sleepover? Well, I suppose it’s fine. Just be sure to come home early tomorrow."

You nodded, relieved by her response. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll be back early.”

With your mother’s approval, you quickly gathered your things and headed back outside to meet Emma. Her excitement was palpable as she waited for you by the front gate.

“Great! Let’s go!” Emma chirped, grabbing your hand and leading the way.

As you walked to Emma’s house, your mind was still clouded by the earlier events. The thought of spending the evening with Emma and Jim was a welcome distraction from the swirl of emotions you had been feeling. You hoped it would be a chance to relax and clear your head before facing whatever came next.

Hours later, the three of you were lounging in Emma’s cozy living room, the soft glow of the TV casting shadows on the walls. After an exciting board game session, you settled down to watch "Gone with the Wind." Emma and Jim sat close together on the couch, their whispered conversations blending with the movie's dialogue. You tried to focus on the screen, but their growing intimacy was hard to ignore.

Emma giggled softly, her voice barely above a whisper. You glanced over just in time to see them exchanging a tender kiss. Their kisses grew more passionate, and soon they were making out fervently. You turned your attention back to the movie, trying to block out the sounds of their affection, but it was no use.

"I'm going to take Jim to my bedroom," Emma said, her cheeks flushed. "Is it okay if you stay here alone?"

You nodded, your heart pounding. "Yeah, it's fine. I want to finish the movie anyway."

Emma smiled and led Jim to her room, leaving you alone in the dimly lit living room. The hours passed slowly, the film a distant backdrop to the thoughts swirling in your mind. Their muffled voices and occasional moans filtered through the walls, filling you with a mix of curiosity and discomfort.

The next morning, you woke early and decided to make breakfast for everyone. The smell of sizzling bacon and fresh coffee filled the kitchen as you worked. Emma was the first to join you, her hair tousled and eyes bright.

“Thanks for breakfast,” she said, giving you a warm smile. “Did you have fun playing board games last night?”

You returned her smile, feeling a genuine sense of friendship. "Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for inviting me."

Emma smiling to you, "You're a good friend," you smiled at her.

You hesitated at first, then asked the question that had been on your mind. "So, uh... about last night... did you and Jim...?"

Emma blushed slightly but didn't shy away. "You mean, am I not a virgin anymore? Yes. and I'm really in love with Jim. He's so kind and supportive. We’re thinking about getting married after we graduate, moving to a big city like Austin or Houston to start our lives together. He can work in a garage, and I'll stay home."

Her words made you think of Joel, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. "Have you ever been in love?" Emma asked, noticing your pensive expression.

“I don’t know,” you replied hesitantly. “I think about someone a lot, but I’m not sure what it means.”

“And have you ever... you know, had sex?” Emma asked.

Your body tensed, the memory of Jamie’s forceful actions coming to mind. You decided to lie and shook your head.

“Typical preacher’s daughter, stay pure, hon,” Emma said, her tone sincere rather than mocking.

You swallowed, feeling a mix of discomfort and curiosity. “How does it feel like?”

Emma’s expression softened. “Well, when you’re with someone you truly care about, it can be really special. It’s not just about the physical aspect, but the emotional connection. It’s like sharing something deeply personal with someone you love and who loves you back. It can feel very intimate and fulfilling.”

You nodded, trying to understand her words. “But isn’t it scary? Does it hurt?”

Emma smiled gently. “It can be, especially the first time. But when you’re with someone who respects you and makes you feel safe, it’s a lot easier. It’s important that you feel comfortable and loved.”

You took in her words, feeling a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. “What if I’m not ready for that yet?”

Emma reassured you. “That’s completely okay. There’s no rush. It’s important to wait until you feel ready and comfortable. And remember, there are other ways to show affection and care for someone.”

You felt a bit of relief. “Like what?”

Emma leaned in slightly, her voice gentle. “Like, for example, giving him oral pleasure. It’s a way to show that you care about him and want to make him feel good. But it’s really important that you’re comfortable with whatever you choose to do. Communication and mutual respect are key in any relationship.”

You blushed, feeling a mix of curiosity and embarrassment. “I don’t know much about that. It sounds kind of… complicated.”

Emma smiled warmly. “It can seem that way, but you’ll learn what feels right for you and your partner as you go along. The most important thing is to have open conversations and make sure you’re both on the same page.”

You nodded, absorbing her advice. “Thanks for explaining."

Emma’s words lingered in your mind as you processed what she had said. The idea of intimacy was something you hadn’t explored deeply, shaped by the teachings you’d grown up with. Your father’s sermons had painted it as an ultimate sin, a taboo wrapped in layers of guilt and religious doctrine. The notion of sex had always been shadowed by the fear of moral failure, a breach of sacred promises that could never be undone.

Emma’s perspective, however, was a stark contrast. She spoke of intimacy as a beautiful, shared experience between two people who cared deeply for each other. It wasn’t just a physical act but a manifestation of affection and connection. It was a way to express love, to show that you cherish someone in the most personal and vulnerable way.

You thought about Joel, and how his kindness had touched you. His presence was like a gentle light breaking through a stormy sky—offering warmth, comfort, and a sense of security you had rarely felt before. The idea of pleasing him, of sharing something deeply intimate, seemed like a way to express your gratitude, to show him how much you valued his care and support.

It was as if you were standing at the edge of a beautiful, uncharted garden, its entrance hidden behind a veil of mist and uncertainty. The garden represented a space of connection, where the blossoms of affection and mutual respect could flourish. The thought of stepping into this garden with Joel was both thrilling and daunting. It was a step into the unknown, where the flowers of shared experiences and emotional intimacy awaited.

You contemplated the possibility of finding a way to share this garden with Joel, to offer him a gesture of affection that went beyond words. Maybe through a physical expression of care, you could bridge the gap between your feelings and his, creating a shared space where love could grow and flourish.

Emma’s reassurance and gentle explanations provided a new perspective, one that allowed you to see intimacy not as a forbidden act but as a potential expression of love and appreciation. You wondered if perhaps, in time, you could navigate this new terrain with Joel, guided by mutual respect and deep affection.

[mrghostrat]

Big Name Feelings - 5/?

chapter 5: first hug, first kiss

None of Crowley's 4K lenses or selfie-cams in sunbeams did any justice to the depth of his amber irises, which positively shone in person, even in the diminishing light of their hotel overheads. The stark cool glow of the iPad screen glinted off the rivulets of brown, brightening and blending the lightest edges into a silky gold. He spent hours every day pouring over palettes and hand mixing the perfect pigments, but that yellow was the most beautiful colour Aziraphale had ever seen in his life.

[ full size art ]

[pit-and-the-pen]

ACOTAR MASTERLIST

Key

❤️-Fluff

☔️—Angst

🌶️- Smut

Azriel:

Do I Wanna Know 🌶️

Azriel NSFW alphabet 🌶️

Unrequited Love [PT 2. Alt Ending]☔️

Azriel x winged reader❤️🌶️

You Found Me☔️

Hold Onto Me🌶️❤️

Broken Pieces ☔️❤️

But I Have You ❤️

Little Gifts 🌶️❤️

I'll Crawl Home to Her (series)

[prologue] [chapter 1] [chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4][CHapter 5][Chapter 6]

When Things Come Back to Haunt You ☔️

Needy Az + Greedy Little thing 🌶️

Eris:

Panic Attack ❤️☔️

I Can Do With It a Broken Heart (Unrequited Love Pt. 2) ❤️☔️

Her Love is Sunlight (Unrequited Love PT. 3) ❤️☔️

Eris x Sunbeam (OC)- Mating Ceremony ❤️🌶️

The Art of Dancing in the Rain❤️

Three ❤️☔️

(Nothing But) Flowers 🌶️

Lucien:

Spring Meadow❤️

Cassian:

Birthday present 🌶️

Three's a Crowd🌶️

Tamlin:

Wilting in My Lonely Tower, Waiting by an Open Door pt: I

Misc:

Got It Bad- (Nessain x reader)🌶️

Requests:

Azriel- prompt 69+96🌶️

Kallias x Viviane (hurt/comfort)☔️❤️

[pellaaearien]

Like Real People Do Chapter 1: Sweet dreams, 'til sunbeams find you

Like Real People Do | Dream of the Endless (Morpheus)/Hob Gadling Part II of Stranger Ways | 6.5k

Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Canon, Established Relationship, Relationship Negotiation, Communication, Touch-Starved Dream of the Endless|Morpheus, Tenderness, Food as a Metaphor for Love, The Dreaming Realm, Eldritch Dream of the Endless|Morpheus

Darling, just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss, like real people do Getting together is just the start of the story. Any relationship takes work, and Hob isn't about to back down. Come hell or high water, nothing is going to stop him being there for Dream. He probably should have guessed how very literal that was going to turn out to be.

On Ao3

This also fills @mr-sadman Dreamling Week prompt Day 5 - Lecture

[navstuffs]

Leon Kennedy

ONE-SHOTS:

SMUT:

two weeks (SMUT)

“give me two weeks, you won’t recognize her.”

5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (SMUT) (F!Reader)

Leon Kennedy is on his way to pick you up in 5 minutes.

Project L.S.K (SLIGHT DUBCON/SMUT)

After Spain, the U.S. government decides Leon Kennedy is too precious to be wasted, so they start a project with you as the leader. (aka the fanfic where you have to collect semen from Leon)

BratTamer!Leon with SpoiledRichGN!Reader

FLUFF:

Blind Date

Luis arranges a blind date for you.

Wonderful Surprise.

After a horrible day at work, you find a surprise at your job’s doorstep.

Leon protects gn!reader with his body

Secret Admirer

It is fall, and Leon Kennedy has a secret admirer.

DO IT FOR HIM

Leon catches a particular item on your stuff.

Sunbeams

Heart to-go

You hate coffee. Of course, with your luck, you end up falling in love with a cute blushing barista.

A convenient misunderstanding

Leon thinks you are in love with someone else.

GN!Reader takes Leon on (finally) a dinner date

"Who did this to you?" + Fluff

Leon's Guilty Pleasure

You shouldn’t have seen him like this, but now you and Leon have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

ANGST:

Emptiness (MAJOR ANGST, PLEASE READ MY WARNINGS CAREFULLY!), Russian translated version by @sonelik

You are dead, and Leon wonders why he is still alive.

Creep (MAJOR ANGST)

“You are so fucking special. I wish I was special”’; because sometimes love isn’t enough.

A moment forever ago

In an elevator, a moment forever ago, Leon might have found the love of his life. But it was over forever ago.

Anchor

It is 1 am when Leon Kennedy knocks on your door. He shouldn’t be there and you shouldn’t have opened it. 

HEADCANONS:

leon adopting a dog

threesome between leon kennedy x f!reader x ezio auditore (SMUT)

MISCELLANEOUS:

what would truly happen in emptiness (MAJOR ANGST)

How would Leon Kennedy and Carlos Oliveira react to a GN!Reader who gets lazy/tired while on top (SMUT)

You make Carlos go feral and speak brazilian portuguese/Carlos teaches you brazilian portuguese/ Leon speaks Italian while in bed (SMUT)

Leon + GN!Reader who doesn’t want to have sex (but can’t express it)

Fun times at the beach (SMUT)

A terrible encounter

An encounter with someone from your past brings your feelings over the edge.

Tiktok Prank

MULTI-CHAPTER:

RookieCop!Leon x BustyF!Reader (SMUT starts on 2nd part) - Traffic stop, Nude painting class

Your sports bra malfunctions during a traffic stop with a shy rookie cop. You continue meeting him in unusual circumstances.

sade trilogy (succubusf!reader/SMUT) - no ordinary love

Leon falls in love with you, a succubus. This series won't follow a chronological order.

babygirl series - calling leon babygirl, saving your babygirl, taking your babygirl to the barbie movie opening

[imagineitdearies]

Battle Log for Chapter 37/38 of Perfect Slaughter!

**Warning! Spoilers for ch37 and 38 ahead!**

If you guys haven't noticed yet what a total nerd I am, this will make it abundantly clear. I showed Cazador's monster stats a couple months ago that I homebrewed/crossed from BG3 and our classic D&D vampire, but I hope you didn't think I stopped there. If you like battle logs and getting into the nitty gritty of D&D mechanics, please enjoy this breakdown below the cut!

First, if you want to reach peak nerd about it with me, take a look at all the details for our main three! (*Note: I did mix Astarion and Tyrus's BG3 stats with a vampire spawn's ability scores, considering it's canon that Astarion lost a lot of things like strength and healing ability after being tadpoled)

Monster Stats: Cazador Szarr

Tyrus Aman'del's Character Sheet

Astarion Ancunin's Character Sheet

Or otherwise, as you look over the battle log, just keep in mind a few things:

"Legendary Actions" are special actions available to powerful monsters in 5e combat, such as vampires. Besides his normal actions, Cazador can take three legendary actions between turns, but only at the end of another creature’s turn.

Cazador has "Legendary Resistance" as well, which is simple but quite powerful: when he fails a saving throw, he can choose to succeed instead, three times per long rest.

At the top of each round, Cazador receives 10 temporary HP per ritual source.

Thanks to Magic Circle, all of Cazador's attacks are rolled with disadvantage.

In his diseased condition, Tyrus rolls with disadvantage on attacks and saving throws, and his movement speed is reduced by half.

Pre-Round

Cazador: 270 HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: 35 HP each (four) Skeletons: 27 HP each (thirteen) Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Cazador steps onto trap and speaks the words to trigger it ("Ecce Dominus!") All at once: Glyph of Warding (7th level) - 43 fire damage (succeeded saving throw, only takes 21 damage) Glyph of Warding: Magic Circle Glyph of Warding: Silence Glyph of Warding: Sunbeam - 38 radiant damage *Cazador spends his first legendary resistance to succeed saving throw, only takes 19 damage) Glyph of Warding: Phantasmal Killer (7th level) - 49 psychic damage

Round 1

Cazador: 181 HP +70 temp HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: 35 HP each Skeletons: 27 HP each Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Ritual Circle: 29 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Two unarmed strikes, 5 bludgeoning damage on second hit *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam **Fails save for Phantasmal Killer again so spends his second legendary resistance to succeed it Tyrus: Dash to Astarion *Cazador Legendary Action at the end of his turn, Bite attack for 18 total damage on ghoul Astarion: Paralyzed Ghouls collective hits: 26 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 13) Skeletons: Dash into range of battle *Cazador Legendary Action, Move without opportunity attacks Godey: 13 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6) Chatterteeth: Casts Eyebite: Frightened on Cazador

Round 2

Cazador: 183 HP +70 temp HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: three have 35 HP, one has 13 HP  Skeletons: 27 HP each Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Ritual Circle: 30 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray (succeeds saving throw; takes 15) Cazador: Calls three swarms of rats (arrive in 4 rounds) *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Help action to rescue Astarion *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 21 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw 10 piercing damage; Cazador heals 21 HP Astarion: Casts Expeditious Retreat and pulls Tyrus out of radius Ghouls collective hits: 21 slashing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 10) Skeleton collective hits: 44 piercing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 22) Godey: 16 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 8) *Cazador Legendary Action, fails to Bite Godey Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 13 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 3

Cazador: 193 HP +60 temp HP Tyrus: 79 HP Astarion: 105 HP Ghouls: three have 25 HP (one dead) Skeletons: ten have 17 HP, three have 6 HP Chatterteeth: 53 HP Godey: 64 HP

Ritual Circle: 23 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: One failed unarmed attack, one failed bite  *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from the nearest spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Astarion: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 16 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 8 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Ghouls collective hits: 14 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) *Cazador Legendary Action, fails to Bite a ghoul Skeleton collective hits: 34 piercing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 17) Godey: 15 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 21 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 10), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 4

Cazador: 169 HP +40 temp HP Tyrus: 73 HP Astarion: 107 HP Ghouls: four have 17 HP, one has 9 HP (one dead) Skeletons: three have 9 HP, seven have 1 HP (three dead) Chatterteeth: 45 HP Godey: 56 HP

Ritual Circle: 26 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Two unarmed strikes, 5 bludgeoning damage on second hit *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 20 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 10 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 10 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 5 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Ghouls collective hits: 0 slashing damage Skeleton collective hits: (dead) Godey: 15 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch (crit!) for 29 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 14), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 5

Cazador: 142 HP +20 temp HP Tyrus: 53 HP Astarion: 92 HP Ghouls: one has 2 HP (three dead) Skeletons: (all dead) Chatterteeth: 25 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 21 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray (succeeds saving throw; takes 10) Cazador: Hits magic circle barrier for 0 damage *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Bonus action takes a healing potion at Astarion’s insistence (13 HP) *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 18 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 9 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Removes the last glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Ghouls collective hits: 8 slashing damage (resistant; takes 4) *Cazador Legendary Action, Bites last ghoul for a total 14 damage Godey: Fails to hit Chatterteeth: Fails to hit with Chill Touch

Round 6

Cazador: 128 HP + 10 temp HP Tyrus: 57 HP Astarion: 92 HP Chatterteeth: 25 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 24 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Hits magic circle barrier for 0 damage *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Fail to bite Chatterteeth Rat swarm 2: Fail to bite Astarion Rat swarm 3: Bite Tyrus for 8 piercing damage Tyrus: Casts Message and speaks to Chatterteeth *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 18 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 9 piercing damage; Cazador heals 18 HP Astarion: Kills rat swarm 3 with 31 total damage, bonus action Bite for 7 HP healing *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 6 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 3 piercing damage; Cazador heals 6 HP Godey: 12 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6)  Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 17 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant, takes 8), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 7

Cazador: 104 HP Rat swarm: two have 24 HP (one dead) Tyrus: 42 HP Astarion: 81 HP Chatterteeth: 1 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 24 radiant damage from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Arcana Check to find Sunbeam rune in the ritual circle *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Fail to bite Chatterteeth Rat swarm 2: Fail to bite Astarion Tyrus: Reanimates all thirteen skeletons with Animate Dead, 7th level *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 14 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 7 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Kills rat swarm 2 with 28 total damage *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Skeleton collective hits: 33 piercing damage (resistant; takes 16)*Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 21 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 10 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Godey: 0 slashing damage Chatterteeth: (dead)

Round 8

Cazador: 44 HP Rat swarm: one has 24 HP (two dead) Tyrus: 14 HP Skeletons: four have 10 HP, two have 3 HP (six dead) Astarion: 74 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 22 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Successfully finds Sunbeam rune in the ritual circle and removes it *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Bite Astarion for 3 piercing damage Tyrus: Reanimates six skeletons with Animate Dead, 4th level *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 14 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 7 piercing damage; Cazador heals 14 HP (Three skeletons go down, Tyrus goes unconscious and gets thrown off the edge of the platform) Astarion: Grabs Tyrus's hands before he's too out of reach, lifts him back up from the platform *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Skeleton collective hits: 33 piercing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 16) *Cazador drops to 0 hit points, which activates Misty Escape to his coffin

Bonus Round

Astarion: Throws Cazador out of coffin Tyrus: Uses class feature "Command Undead" on Cazador(see Tyrus character sheet or necromancy subclass for details) *Cazador fails the saving throw, but spends his last legendary resistance to succeed) --after a bit of angsty dialogue and commands-- Tyrus: Uses class feature "Command Undead" on Astarion *Astarion does not resist/chooses to automatic fail on saving throw Astarion: Slashy slashy dagger dagger!!! (All it took was 1 point of damage, Cazador had not healed yet) Tyrus & Astarion: Hug 🩵🩵🩵

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

COLLISION

Astarion x Y/N - Chapter 4 - 3.9K WC

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4 (you are here!)

Chapter 5 NSFW 18+

Chapter 6 NSFW 18+

Chapter 7 NSFW 18+

Warnings: mention of SA (not detailed), drug use (elixir), slightly steamy (not NSFW)

-------------------

A sunbeam perfectly aimed for your face is what woke you. The warmth making you smile before you lazily got up from your bedroll, wincing a bit. You saw everyone seemingly at the bonfire looking like they were ready to head out. Everyone apart from a certain vampire. You jogged over to the campfire from your tent. 

“Y/N! Thank the gods you’re awake. We were all going to head out and visit a merchant, care to join us?” Karlach beamed. 

You went to answer but you winced, hard. Enough for Karlach and the others to notice. You lifted up your shirt to reveal the wound the nurse left on your lower stomach. 

“That’s infected, no wonder you’re in pain.” Gale said, moving to retrieve a salve from his backpack. “Here,” he said, rubbing it into your skin before conjuring gauze to cover it. It felt cool and soothed the hateful heat emitting from the wound. “That’ll take a few hours to clear the infection out and fully heal the wound. You’ll need to stay here and rest for the day. Astarion will stay with you; help keep the camp safe and keep you company.”

“Sure it's a good idea keeping those two together?” Shadowheart asked, alluding to the punching incident. 

“We’ll be fine.” you reassured her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. 

“Well we best be off. Want anything from the merchant?” Karlach asked.

“I’d love a book or two if you could find any for cheap.” you asked shyly, “I’ll pay you back when I can.”

Karlach shook her head, “No need, books it is! Rest easy soldier!” she said starting to leave camp.

Gale clapped your shoulder before leaving, “Books, eh? A cleric after my own heart.” he smiled.

And just like that, camp was quiet aside from the occasional bird. You elected to change into a different pair of small clothes. A simple black, flowy long sleeve. Much too large for you but that's what made it so comfy. Slipping on a new pair of under shorts you hauled your dirty clothes and armor to the streamside. You trudged back up the hill to grab your phone. So far it hasn’t needed to be enchanted again, it has yet to fall below 100%. You peered into Astarion’s tent as you walked past it, he was still asleep (meditating?), best to leave him alone. 

Returning to the stream with your phone you started to play music. The soft beats of Cooks by Still Woozy bumped along as you softly sang to it, cleaning your clothes and armor. 

-------------------------

Astarion watched you walk up and down the hill to the stream twice, acting asleep when you peered into his tent. He snuck down the hill, grabbing two bright red apples before standing a few feet behind you. The music you listened to was strange, nothing like he had heard before. Your world must have been strange. He made his way to you, shifting the rocks as he walked so he wouldn’t startle you. You looked up at him, a smile graced your face that would put the sun to shame. His rare doe eyes made an appearance along with a genuine smirk. Nothing seductive or tricky about it, just unhideable glee. He felt so wrong and yet so right being this happy with another person. Most of all he felt confused, unsure of how to proceed with all these new feelings that accompanied freedom. He pushed the anxiety to the back of his mind, silently holding out one of the apples to you. You gently put your armor down, wiping your wet hands on your shirt quickly before taking the fruit. 

“Thank you.” you smiled at him before motioning for him to sit with you as you took a bite. Astarion sat with his back against the tree you had hung your clothes on to dry. His feet next to your legs as you sat criss cross fully facing him. He ate a few bites of his apple before looking into your eyes.

“What?” he asked, he had felt you staring at him.

“Sorry! I just… I didn’t know vampires could eat real food.” you tried to say casually, finding your apple to be most interesting in the moment as you stared at it in your lap.

He chuckled, “We need blood to survive but we can still imbibe in the pleasures of mortals.”

You nodded, giving a short chuckle of embarrassment. 

Astarion bent his head a little to catch your eyes which you quickly averted. He sighed, “Any other vampiric queries? You must be dying to know…” he smirked his usual taunting smirk at you. 

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable…” you eyed him.

His heart grew two sizes. You cared about his feelings? You weren't going to make him talk if he didn’t want to? You surprised him everyday, and today was no exception. He nodded at you.

“Can you eat garlic?” you asked.

He laughed and looked at you confused, “Are vampires from your world so weak they can be taken out by a vegetable?” 

“Apparently.” you laughed, “How come you can be in the sun?”

“That’s a new development thanks to our little worms. Usually I’d be a pile of ash.” he grimaced at the end. 

You nodded curtly, “Wooden stake to the heart, is that lethal for vampires here?”

“Who wouldn’t that kill?” he asked rhetorically. 

“Good point.” you said finishing your apple before throwing the core into the stream, Astarion doing the same shortly after. “How old are you?”

“230.” he said softly, the air changing into something sour. 

You looked at him empathetically, scooching closer so you could sit next to him. Hesitantly you softly grabbed his hand, giving him every opportunity to pull away. He watched you trace his knuckles, veins, tendons, etc. You spoke softly as you interlaced your fingers, “People often speak in riddles when trying to comfort others… but the pain you’ve endured. All I can say is I’m so sorry Astarion. So very sorry.” You gently kissed the back of his hand before continuing to trace his veins.

He nodded and looked down to hide the stray tear that threatened to spill. He squeezed your hand before letting it go. “Would you like to do something fun?” he asked suddenly.

You pulled your hand back, missing his touch already all the while suppressing any urges to crave intimacy with him. “Absolutely! It seems we have the camp to ourselves today, no better time to do something fun.” you smiled at him standing up. You moved your armor to a large rock so everything could start drying. Astarion walked to his tent and you followed. He turned to you after digging in his supply pack for a moment. He held a rectangular bottle with a dazzling gold liquid swirling about inside. 

“Elixir of Folly.” he said, handing it to you. You inspected the bottle before popping the lid open. A few random sparkles fizzled out before you brought the bottle to your nose, it smelled like vanilla and death. You quickly pulled it back from your face. Astarion laughed at your reaction. He gently took the open bottle from you.

“Don’t worry, a little death is what makes this so fun. You’ll be fine I promise.” he said before drinking half the bottle. He handed the rest to you, waiting to see if you trusted him enough to try it. You took the bottle, “Cheers?” you said quizzically before gulping down the drink. You didn’t feel any different.

“So… what does it do? Make you happy or something?” you asked, sitting on his bedroll. He sat next to you knocking your shoulder with his playfully. 

“Euphoric is a better term. Let's just say this potion is for… recreational use.” He could feel a gentle warmth engulf him. His brain felt fuzzy and everything seemed full of wonder. A gentle smile laid on his face as his eyes glossed over.

You felt the same sensations, “I’m sorry but did we just do drugs? Magical drugs?” you said with a slight panic to your voice. 

“Darling, with all due respect, shut up and enjoy just this once. Please?” he sighed.

You put your hands up in surrender, “Alright, I trust you.” 

His eyes widened a bit, the soft glow around you surely proved you were an angel. A stupid idea really, to trust him. And yet, all he could feel was pride and joy at the fact that you trusted him and wanted to protect him. He would never admit it, not even to himself, but he trusted you too. Is this what it feels like to be cared for? You let out a long sigh, pulling him from his thoughts. He watched you shift so your whole body was laying in the pleasant sunlight. You stretched, reminding him of a cat on a sunny day. Your hand flew up, eyes still closed. He looked at your hand before taking it. You yanked him down so he was laying next to you in the sun. He quickly relaxed, stretching and making himself comfortable in the sun. He watched you, memorizing your face while it was blissed out. 

“Ya know,” you began softly, keeping your eyes shut “I never do this in my world. I feel like I belong to the dark there. It's… lonely and… miserable if I’m honest. I like being here with you. With all of you. I don’t even know if I want to go back.” you hummed, a little smile never leaving your face. 

What Astarion neglected to tell you was that Elixir of Folly was known for loosening tongues and dropping guards as well as its euphoric side effects. He really had no ill intentions, he really did just want to have fun with you. But he couldn’t help but hope for exactly what was happening, you dropping your guard enough for him to probe. 

“You don’t want to go home?” he asked, gently brushing a piece of hair out of your closed eyes. 

Your eyes fluttered open, you turned on your side so you were facing him. You softly took his hand that brushed your hair away, holding it to your cheek and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles repeatedly. “If I’m honest… it never felt like home. I was stuck doing the same mundane thing over and over again every day… it made life… melancholic.” you sighed, looking down sadly. It's true, life wasn’t easier before all this happened to you. Drowning in bills, fighting depression, being alone. Maybe that's why you thought so little of going home. You don’t really want to go back, but you should… shouldn’t you? The longer you stayed in Baldur’s Gate the less you missed your old life, the less you remembered it. 

Astarion hummed, rubbing his thumb over your cheek bone. “Really? No lovers are going to miss you terribly?” he asked.

You let out a huff that was almost a chuckle, “I haven’t had a lover in quite some time.” you replied.

“Oh? And why’s that?” he said quietly shifting ever so slightly closer to you.

“I was tired of being used. I’d rather have nothing than be used like a collection of parts for somebody else.” you paused for a moment before flicking your eyes to his momentarily, “I’d live 1000 lifetimes alone if it meant I got to have one love. One true love. But… I don’t know if I was made to be loved. I think I was made to love others. To look after everyone else and make sure they feel okay. Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood I suppose.” you sighed. 

“I understand,” he whispered. Trying to change the mood he quickly asked, “What’s your favorite color?”

You giggled at his ungraceful change of topic but let it slide, “Black.” you replied.

“Favorite book?”

“A Portrait of Dorian Grey.” you said quickly. “Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.” you quoted aloud.

Astarion smiled, he liked that you enjoyed reading. Even more impressive that you could recall quotes from the book so easily. He felt the quote sink into his mind, thinking how something tragic must be behind you just as there is for him. 

“A secret?” he asked hesitantly, looking at you.

“I like you a lot. Even when you didn’t like me. It made me so sad you didn’t like me. It made me even sadder when you wanted to have sex because I know you don’t want to.” you rattled off, sounding progressively more sleepy and unfocused. 

Astarion’s chest gave a squeeze, “How did you know I didn’t want to?”

“I know what it’s like to have someone do things to your body that you don’t want. I also know what it’s like to feel like you owe someone your body. Both are wretched feelings. I could see them in your eyes. I’d never want to hurt you, especially like that.” you mumbled, unconsciously snuggling yourself into his chest as you drifted off to sleep. 

Astarion let this tear slip down his face. He listened to your even heartbeat, he watched the hypnotic rise and fall of your chest. He held you while you slept until he too started to feel drowsy.

“I’m going to fall for you and it will kill me 1000 times over when you inevitably leave.” he whispered to nobody in particular, slipping into a dreamless sleep. 

-----------------------

Karlach and everyone else went back to their tents as soon as they all came back. Everyone was exhausted from having to walk two towns over since the usual merchant wasn’t in town today. She walked past Astarion’s tent with little care until she noticed four feet just barely peeking outside of the tent flap. Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the tent flap slightly. Her fiery heart jolted with happiness. The two of you lost in slumber and each other's arms. Karlach silently took your phone from next to you, she took a picture of the two of you. She had come to love your phone, especially after she learned how to take selfies. Gently plopping the phone back down next to you, she backed away from the tent. 

------------------------

You awoke to the ghosting of a hand rubbing soft circles on your exposed hip and lower back. Fluttering your eyes open, you were met with Astarion’s ruby eyes. You jolted back a little, the feeling of the elixir completely gone. You tried to scoot away but he held you in place. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll go…” you said, again trying to leave. You couldn’t believe you fell asleep on the one person who didn’t need the pressure or even the innuendo of intimacy. 

“Stay?” Astarion asked hopefully, readjusting his grip on your hip so he could pull you back to him. 

“Astarion stop, you don’t have to..” you looked at him with a fragile gaze. 

“But what if I want to?” he said against your lips as he finally pulled you flush to him, in the softest tone you’d ever heard him utter. His eyes looked between your lips and eyes repeatedly, asking an unspoken question. 

You wish you could. Gods you do. But you couldn’t tell if this was real, or if he had ulterior motives. Your eyes grew sad as you placed your hand on his chest, putting space between the two of you. 

“We shouldn’t.” you said painfully. 

Astarion felt a pang in his chest, not the good kind. Did you not feel the air grow thick and sweet whenever you two were alone? He shifted his gaze downwards feeling hurt but determined not to show it.

He cleared his throat before swiftly pulling away and getting up, “We should join the others, I can smell whatever they’re roasting out there.” He helped you up with one arm. 

Truth be told, your heart hurt just as much as his unbeating one. You wanted so badly to touch him, to feel him, to know him in every way. The last few weeks you have been together have brought you so much closer and every day you fell more and more for the pale elf. You’d never say it was love stirring inside you. Not out loud at least. 

----------------------

The group quickly took to drinking when a new companion came to camp that night. Halsin had finally returned. You introduced yourself and found yourself drinking with the friendly druid like you were old friends. You had quite the green thumb back home, plants covered your home wall to wall. You two talked about nature endlessly and before you knew it, you felt drunk. Karlach had started to play music on your phone a while ago, everyone had come to like having the music going during supper. Astarion sat on the adjacent log at the campfire, unusually quiet beside Karlach. He watched you light up for the druid. Has he misread everything between you two over the past few weeks? 

A particularly lively song came on, Allegro by Antonio Vivaldi. Halsin stood, extending his hand to you. You looked at him, your cheeks warming “I… I’m sorry… I don’t exactly know how to dance to this type of music.” 

“Where better to learn than among friends?” he declared pulling you up and to the side of the campfire. 

Halsin was patient. He taught you the most simple waltz, or what you could call a waltz in your state. You giggled and smiled, it was infectious. Everyone seemed to enjoy the sight. Everyone except Astarion who huffed and walked back to his tent after the third song had passed. He couldn’t bear to watch you grow close to another. The way Halsin put his hands on you so gently. Could he ever do such a thing? To watch someone else end up with someone he wanted so desperately. So purely. It left an awful taste in his mouth and a wrenching in his heart.

You spun around and finished your dance. Out of breath you thanked Halsin for the lovely dances before excusing yourself and trotting after Astarion.

--------------------

You knocked lightly on the tent post. Astarion hummed, expecting another one of your companions perhaps. You entered his tent and he tutted looking away from you. 

“What?” he said sharply.

“I wanted to check on you… why’d you leave?” you said shifting from foot to foot, his tone making you feel uneasy.

“Oh you noticed? I thought you’d be in Halsin’s bed by now.” the venom in his voice made you cringe, stepping back from him.

“What? Why would you think that? I just met him tonight?” you sounded confused.

“Like that would stop you.” He said standing up, moving to walk past you.

You ignored the way you felt your eyes getting misty, putting your hand against his chest making him stop and look at you. “You’re being hurtful. Why?” you asked.

He sighed, the last time he tried this approach it got him punched so he might as well attempt to talk to you about his feelings. If he could manage it.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” he whispered, his own eyes misting. 

You bit your lip before responding truthfully, “Because I don’t know if you truly want it. Or if you’re trying to use me. I… I can't do that again, Astarion. I won't.” you paused, taking in a shaky breath “And I won't let you use yourself to get something from me. You need but ask and I will do as you ask without hesitation.”

“Kiss me then.” he asked, his eyes big and pleading.

You looked down, shaking your head. You let the tears fall but did your best to keep quiet so Astarion didn’t hear you breaking. You crumbled to the ground, the weight of everything sinking you. Astarion descended with you. He looked so soft, so concerned. So unlike the snooty jerk you initially met. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, taking your hand, tracing your knuckles, veins, tendons, etc. “You could cut me down and I’d ask you to do it again. Everything with you feels unlike anything else. It drives me mad honestly.” His admission shocked you, you went to reply before he spoke again, “And yet, I seek you out every day because whatever you have poisoned me with… it's as if you are the antidote. I cannot breathe when you are not near. I rise and rest with my thoughts being overwhelmed by you.” he sighed shakily. 

You looked at him, absolutely gobsmacked. Your tears hadn’t ceased; Astarion raised his hand hesitantly before deciding to beg forgiveness instead of asking permission before he wiped your cheeks with his thumb. He held your face in his palm, the lump in his throat growing with each passing moment. 

“I want you. That is my choice, that is my decision, those are my feelings. And if you won’t have me just say the -” Astarion’s preparation for rejection caught in his throat when you consumed him in the most feather light kiss. Your hands shook as you gingerly held his face, ever so lightly deepening the kiss. You pulled back slightly, eyeing him for a reaction. His eyes were closed, he had a smile on his lips, and his tongue darted out to taste yourself on him. 

“Can I do that again?” you ask barely above a whisper. He was captivating. His lips tasted like brandy and you could get lost in them forever. 

“As you wish.” he said, opening his eyes. Pulling you to him so that you straddled him. He felt you tense above him, not putting your weight on him. “We can stop if either of us feels anything besides pleasure.” he assured you as he held your face with one hand and your hip with another. He looked so calm, as if this is right where he wanted to be. You settled yourself in his lap quickly before going back to his lips. You moved them hesitantly before he kissed you with so much passion it made your head spin. The kiss quickly turned into a battle for dominance but it was no surprise that the man with 200 years experience over you won. Astarion moved to lay you down, you felt his hands roam your body. He kissed your jaw, moving down to your neck, then your collar bones. His fingers gently untied the laces of your shirt. 

You went rigid.

Scared

Is what rang out in his mind. He quickly pulled off of you, glancing you over to see if he had somehow hurt you. 

“I’m sorry…” you whispered, pulling your shirt together. “Can we… not do anything more?” 

Astarion’s worry faded into understanding, “Of course.” he smiled as he pulled off of you. “Could I be so bold as to ask you to stay? Just to sleep!” he quickly clarified.

You smiled up at him, your erratic heartbeat already returning to normal. “I’d love to.” you said as you shifted yourself on his bedroll. 

He laid next to you gently, pulling a silken blanket over the two of you. Of course he had a silk blanket for sleeping on the ground. You chuckled to yourself at the thought. You curled into his chest once again, falling asleep all too quickly. Astarion ran his fingers through your hair, he kissed your forehead one final time before closing his eyes, preparing for sleep to take him.

“To the beginning of my end.” he cheers’ed himself.

Hello! Some not awesome stuff happened in life recently, so I thought I'd write a bit. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Next chapter might have some NSFW stuff in it. What do you think? Please let me know if there is anything you'd like to see in the story or suggestions you may have. I love getting comments! Thanks for reading! <3

[steddieas-shegoes]

Chapter 7

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 

Steve’s morning was full of light.

Eddie was brighter than the sunbeams shining through the curtains in his bedroom, and Steve was never happier to be blinded by light.

Steve wasn’t woken by his alarm. Instead, he was woken by soft kisses against his neck and jaw, breathy whispers he couldn’t quite understand making him shiver under the sheets.

It was more than Steve had ever had, more than he ever expected, and more than he thought he deserved. But he smiled into it. He let himself bask in Eddie’s light.

------------------------------------

Eddie had a full day of clients, and Steve ended up in more parent conferences than he planned as new schedules for the next semester got released.

He barely even had a lunch break, and most of it was spent texting Robin about their plans after work.

He didn’t purposely avoid looking at the text from Eddie sitting there unread, but he knew if he opened it, he would yearn to be back with him too much.

The space would be good for him to clear his head a little, separate himself from the intensity of his emotions that Eddie brought on. Take himself out of the shock of feeling so much at once and find the level headedness he was used to having.

He tried not to think about how Eddie didn’t give him any rules before he left this morning.

------------------------------------

Steve was not having a good afternoon.

His last conference of the day left his head spinning. The principal had to sit in towards the end as the parents became more irate at the fact that their son was failing almost every class and Steve couldn’t be bribed to change his grades in the system.

This was the worst part of the job.

Everything was loud.

He didn’t know how to make it quiet.

He left work with a ringing in his ear and a tension in his neck and shoulders that hadn’t been present for days and wondering how he’d be able to face the conversation ahead of him.

------------------------------------

The door opened and Steve nearly fell off the couch.

He must have fallen asleep when he decided to rest for a few minutes when he got home.

“You good?” Robin asked from above him. She had an amused smirk on her face, but he could see the concern in her eyes.

“Yep. Just didn’t realize it was time for you to be home.”

Steve stood up and shook his arms out to wake himself up, something he’d done since he was young to get the blood pumping.

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen my text about dinner, then?”

“No, why?”

Steve reached into his pocket for his phone as Robin sat down.

“Pizza place had a fire, so we need a backup. Any ideas?”

Steve felt his heart stop when he saw a missed call from Eddie. Shit, he really was out of it.

“Uh. I’m good with anything.”

He could feel Robin staring at him, but he was still trying to get all synapses firing in his brain and couldn’t quite look away from his phone.

“So you’d be good with tofu and sushi?”

Steve’s head snapped up, lip curling in disgust.

“What? Since when would I be okay with that? I hate tofu and sushi.”

“Just checking to see if you were actually paying attention or if you’d been body snatched.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but put his phone back in his pocket for the moment. Tonight was about Robin, and Eddie could wait.

“Burgers?” Steve suggested, knowing Robin was always down for burgers.

“Burgers sound good. My usual please?”

“Got it.”

Robin started to walk towards the bathroom, but turned before she made it to the door.

“Text Eddie that you’re okay. He was worried.”

Steve felt his mouth open in shock.

“He texted you?”

“He called me. Said he hadn’t heard from you at lunch and he was supposed to.”

Oh, so the rule was still there.

“Oh. Okay.”

Robin shook her head and mumbled to herself as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. It sounded an awful lot like “idiots, both idiots” but Steve wasn’t sure.

He called in their order for burgers first, knowing that the dinner rush, even on a Tuesday, would have at least an hour wait for delivery.

He pulled up his texts and saw two from Eddie: the one from this morning he didn’t have time to respond to and one from right after he tried calling.

Don’t forget to be a good boy and text me at lunch, sunshine.

Please let me know you’re doing okay, Stevie. Just a quick text is fine. I know you’re gonna be with Robin tonight, but I wanna make sure you haven’t dropped. Please.

Shit. Dammit.

He immediately started typing a response, worried that Eddie was dropping. Could he drop? Surely he would have told Steve if that was a possibility. Right?

I’m okay. I’m sorry. It’s been a busy day and I didn’t know you wanted me to stick to the rules still. Are you okay?

His leg was bouncing as he waited for Eddie to reply, getting faster when he saw the typing bubbles appear.

I’m better now. We can talk later when you’re done hanging out with Robin, okay?

Are you mad?

No, was just worried. Have fun with Robin.

It felt like a dismissal, and he knew that Eddie didn’t mean it unkindly, but his head started to spin with the idea that maybe that was the final straw for him.

Before he could spiral, Robin came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and her comfiest pajamas on. She took one look at him and sighed.

“Let’s talk while we wait for food.”

They both sat on the couch, Robin’s feet finding their way into Steve’s lap, his hands resting on her ankles.

“So. Let me start by saying sorry again. I’m not sorry for being worried, but I am sorry for how I spoke to you. I should have waited to talk in person and I shouldn’t have made you feel like you don’t know how to handle yourself or that you’re a bother.”

Oh God, her voice was shaking. Was she gonna cry? She never cried.

“Robs, it’s okay. I get it. I’m glad I have you to worry about me, okay?” He squeezed her ankle and she sniffled. “I wish it didn’t happen that way, but it does show we have to talk about this. I think I need to unpack a bit with you actually.”

“You, Steve Harrington, need to unpack your feelings?” She reached out to check his temperature. “Are you sure you haven’t been body snatched?”

“I’m sure. There’s just a lot to catch you up on.”

He spent the next 30 minutes breaking down everything that happened from the moment he walked into Eddie’s tattoo shop on Saturday to the text exchange that happened right before Robin came out of the shower.

“Well, you’ve certainly found your way into something interesting.”

Steve groaned and threw his head back to rest against the back of the couch.

“It doesn’t make any fucking sense what I’m about to say and I need you to just let me say it out loud so I can recognize how fucking stupid it is.”

“Okay.”

“I think I love him.”

Robin didn’t react, but Steve knew she wanted to. She was being the best friend ever and letting him sit with it out in the open like that on his own first.

“I’m waiting for my brain to say that I didn’t mean that.”

“Okay.”

They both sat in silence for a minute, two.

“Fuck, I love him.”

“Steve, this is. I mean I’m not a professional at these types of relationships, but could it just be the whole subspace thing?”

“I mean, yeah? I guess? But it just doesn’t feel that way. The way he makes me feel all the time, not just when he’s making me float, it’s better than anyone’s ever made me feel. I can’t explain it and I’m gonna sound crazy if I try.”

“Try anyways.”

Steve sighed. Robin wouldn’t end this conversation without understanding him, so he had no choice.

“It’s just. I feel safe. Even before the tattoo started, I felt safe. Something about the way he just is. He calls me sunshine, but he’s the one burning bright. It’s like we don’t have to know everything about each other to know each other. God, this sounds stupid.” He covered his face with his hands and was shocked to find that he was crying. “It’s more than just wanting to be with him, it’s like I know I can be myself, my best self, if he’s around. Like I can let go of everything I’ve spent most of my life trying to be and just. Be.”

Robin’s eyes were wide as she took in Steve’s demeanor. He was serious, and he was crying.

“Listen to me, Steve.” Steve looked back at her as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “How you feel is how you feel. Do I think it’s a little crazy? Yeah. But I’ve never seen you like this, and you’ve had plenty of opportunities to. You weren’t even like this with Nancy and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her.”

“I don’t think I loved Nancy like this.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. Holy shit.”

They both sat in silence again, both taking in what was said, both realizing that Steve was in deep.

“Alright! Here’s what we do!”

Robin was cut off by her phone ringing, which was odd.

There was a knock at the door at the same time.

“I’ll get the door, you get your phone.”

Steve got up to grab their food as Robin answered her phone.

He was so focused on making sure the delivery person got a good tip, he didn’t hear what Robin was saying.

“Robs! Hurry before it gets cold!” Steve yelled as if she’d left the room, but she was sitting on the couch whispering into the phone.

“Robs? Everything okay?” He asked as he walked back over to the couch to make sure she was okay.

“Okay, I’ll tell him. I will! I’ll text you. Okay. Bye.”

When Robin hung up, Steve had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t explain. Something was wrong.

“Sit.”

Steve sat.

“Look at me.”

Steve looked at her.

“This is not your fault, you understand?”

“Uh. Okay.”

“I need you to say it.”

“It’s not my fault.” Steve breathed in. “What’s not my fault?”

“That was Chrissy. You know Eddie’s friend? She’s the Chrissy I work with. Small world or whatever.” Robin was gonna start rambling. Oh god. “So she’s at Eddie’s. Apparently he had to reschedule his last client tonight and when she showed up at his house, he was a mess. Mid-panic attack and didn’t even know she came in the house. She got him to calm down enough to drink some tea on the couch, but all he’s said is he fucked up with you. Any clue what he’s talking about?”

Steve felt his stomach turn. Eddie fucked up? What could he have done?

“I don’t know. Everything was fine. He seemed a little off during the texts, but he said we’d talk later.”

“Off how?”

“I dunno! Just really formal and short? Not like he usually is.”

“Chrissy thinks he’s going through a dom drop.”

Fuck. That’s what Steve feared, but he didn’t know for sure if it was even possible.

He should’ve called him when he seemed off. No, he should’ve texted him at lunch. He could’ve taken ten seconds to send a quick message.

But he didn’t think about the rule. The one rule Eddie had given. Maybe they hadn’t discussed it being a standing rule, but Steve should’ve assumed he’d like a check in after what they did last night.

“Robs, I…”

“You gotta go. It’s okay. I’m pretty tired anyways. But Steve?”

“Hm?”

“You’re allowed to love him. Things may end badly, or you may be in deeper than he is, or there may come a point where this wears off for you. But for now, if you love him, then love him with all you’ve got.”

Steve nodded, giving her a quick hug before he threw his shoes on and left.

Eddie needed him and he was going to love him through it.

------------------------------------

When he arrived at Eddie’s house, he saw that all except one light was off, and the door was unlocked.

Robin must’ve called Chrissy to let her know he was coming.

When he walked inside, the house felt cold.

This wasn’t the same house that made him feel warm, content, happy.

He saw Chrissy first, sitting on the couch next to a blanket burrito which could only contain Eddie.

Whatever nerves he’d been feeling on the drive over disappeared when he heard what Chrissy was saying.

“He’s on his way and you’ll see that he’s okay. Robin said he just had a really busy day, remember?”

“But he didn’t follow the rule.”

“Babes, he probably didn’t think he had to. You said he’s new at this, right? If you didn’t remind him, then he probably just was busy.”

“I was.”

Steve spoke and the air changed. It didn’t stop being cold, but there was a new pressure to it, and he knew that Eddie heard him.

“Thank god,” Chrissy said as she stood up. “I’m clocking out. This guy needs you. You know what to do?”

“Um. I googled. I think I can handle it.”

“Call if you need me. I’ve gotten him through one before so I know what works if you can’t handle it,” she gave him a tired smile. “Chrissy, by the way.”

“Steve.”

“Eddie, Steve’s got you now, okay? But call if you need me.”

“Okay.”

His voice was raspy, not at all the usual strong, upbeat tone he had.

As Chrissy left the house, Steve walked over to the couch. Eddie had removed the blanket from around him, but was still curled in on himself in a way Steve didn’t think was possible. Not for Eddie.

“Eds? Can I sit with you?”

Eddie nodded, but otherwise didn’t move. Steve sat where Chrissy previously was, quickly resting his hand on Eddie’s back.

Eddie seemed to relax a bit at the touch, a small sigh released from his mouth.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on in your head, babe?”

Eddie shook his head.

“That’s okay. I can just keep you company. Do you need anything?”

Eddie shook his head again.

“Do you want to cuddle?”

Eddie nodded, but seemed to hesitate for a moment.

“What is it?”

This was hard. He didn’t know how Eddie handled him when he was pretty much nonverbal.

“Can you lay in my lap?”

How would anyone say no to that?

“I’d love to.”

Eddie slowly unfurled from the nearly perfect spiral he’d been curled into, resting his feet on the floor and stretching his back out. He groaned when something popped, but it seemed to help him relax a little more.

Steve slowly lay down across the couch, placing his head in Eddie’s lap so he was looking up at his face.

Eddie’s hand found his cheek like a magnet, rubbing his thumb along his jaw while he looked down at him like he was a miracle.

No one had ever looked at Steve like that.

It was a lot to cope with.

He stayed still, letting Eddie touch and look, some part of him knowing that he needed this and that it would help. Eddie’s hand glided over his exposed skin for long minutes, tracing along his freckles on his neck and collarbone, his arms, even the tattoo he inked into his skin only a few days ago.

So much has changed since then.

Eddie let out a small whine, and Steve reached one hand out to hold his, squeezing as a reminder that he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Right here, Eds. You with me?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you need, love?”

“Shirt off. Skin.”

Steve could do that. He could do whatever Eddie needed.

He started to sit up to take his shirt off when he felt a hand on his chest and Eddie whined again, looking down at Steve with hurt on his face.

“I have to move a little to take off my shirt. It’s only for a few seconds.”

“Please.”

He wasn’t sure what he was asking for, but Steve slowly sat up and turned to straddle Eddie’s lap. Eddie seemed okay with this movement, so Steve continued by removing his shirt quickly.

Eddie’s hands were on his bare hips before he even had the shirt off of his head. He couldn’t help the smile he gave when he felt Eddie relax a bit more into the couch.

He was taking care of Eddie and getting him through this one step at a time with barely any idea what he was doing. It felt good to know what he needed. Is this how Eddie felt with him all the time?

“Closer.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice; He leaned in so he could let his face fall against Eddie’s neck, breathing in his cologne and weed scent.

He felt Eddie shakily breathe him in too, his nose resting in his hair by his temple.

“Smells good.”

Steve smiled against his skin.

“Took a shower when I got home from work. The shampoo is tropical breeze I think.”

Eddie didn’t answer, just took another breath, though this was stronger, more sure.

They stayed like that for a while, Steve slowly tracing fingers along Eddie’s chest and neck, letting him know he was physically here for whatever he needed.

Eventually, Eddie nudged Steve gently, making him remove his head from his body and pull away. He looked at Eddie, really looked at him, and saw some of the sunshine he was used to coming back behind his eyes.

“There you are.”

“Here I am.”

Steve cupped his cheek and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips, not wanting to make it anything more than a comforting peck.

Eddie let him, but his grip on Steve’s waist tightened momentarily like he was fighting the urge to kiss harder, longer, more.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I told Chrissy not to call. I didn’t even know she knew Robin.”

Eddie looked so apologetic, but he had nothing to apologize for. If his drop was anything like Steve’s, he had no control over what happened and Steve didn’t want him to feel like that all night.

“What happened, Eds? Was it just me not texting?”

Eddie looked nervous.

Oh no. This is it, he’s gonna break it off before it even gets started.

“That played a part in it, and not answering the call. But it was also just pushing myself at work more than I usually do in a day after what we did last night. After everything since Saturday, really. And then when the realization hit that I didn’t talk to you about the rule this morning, I felt like a bad dom. Just a mix of things.”

Steve let that sink in. That while it wasn’t all his fault, he was what started the negativity.

He’d been used to doing that for most of his life, bringing people down with him instead of leaving them be. He didn’t want that for Eddie. Eddie would be smart to end things with him.

But that’s not where this was going, Steve could tell from his next words.

“We have something I’ve never had before. I’m not used to such intense feelings over such a small scene or for anyone at all.” Eddie cupped Steve’s face between his hands, placing a kiss to his forehead before continuing. “What we’re doing here is more than anything I’ve done before and I think we haven’t had enough communication about what we’re doing. Can we talk about that?”

Steve nodded, mesmerized by the way Eddie bounced back so quickly, by the way he was looking at Steve like he loved him. He couldn’t possibly, but it seemed like he did.

“I know this is fast and unconventional. This isn’t how I usually do things and I don’t think it’s how you do things either. But maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you. All the time. In every way.” Eddie had tears in his eyes. “It’s fucking terrifying. Especially after today and knowing that such a small thing made me drop. I’ve only dropped a couple of times and those were because of really intense scenes that I wasn’t properly prepared for. But I guess I’m never really prepared for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Every time I think I can handle my feelings for you, you do or say something that has me falling head over heels and I don’t know what to do about it, sunshine.”

Steve could feel the heat rising on his face, the blush on his cheeks deepening to an almost painful level. Eddie really cared for him.

“What do we do to stop you from dropping?”

“First, we have to set clear rules and boundaries for each scene and for our relationship.”

“Relationship?”

Eddie smirked.

“I just confessed that I have intense feelings for you, did you think I wasn’t wanting to make you mine?”

If Steve could breathe, he’s sure he would choke on the air.

“You want me to be yours?”

“I’d love for you to be mine and for me to be yours.”

“We haven’t even had a date yet.”

“Is that necessary when I’ve pressed a needle into your skin to make something permanent?”

“I guess not. But what if you don’t like me outside of…this?”

“That’s not possible, sunshine.”

“Not many people like me.”

“Not many people like me either.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

Eddie was a ball of sunshine, how could anyone not be in love with him when they talked to him?

“Well, I only have a couple good friends, Chrissy being one of them. My clients come to me because I’m good at what I do, but not because of anything else. I was the opposite of popular in school. My best friend until I was like, 13, was my Uncle Wayne.”

“But you’re so…nice.”

Eddie laughed. “Nice isn’t everything.”

“It is to me.”

Eddie poked at Steve’s bottom lip, which had somehow jutted out a bit during their talk.

“No need to be upset, sunshine. I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got, okay? Even better now that you’re around.”

“But I’m…me.”

“And you’re perfect to me.”

Steve’s brows furrowed, but Eddie traced along the line between them until it smoothed out.

“I feel the same about you, you know. Like you’re my sun, stars, my entire galaxy, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense because I didn’t even feel this way about the person I thought I wanted to marry! You hear how ridiculous that sounds? It’s been three days!”

Eddie pulled him in for another soft kiss, effectively calming him down again.

“I’m just worried that I’m so invested in whatever this is that I’m not seeing how badly it can end. I don’t want it to end. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine and I want to feel like this with you forever.”

“Then let’s do that.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

“Because everything good ends! People don’t like me when I’m grumpy, which is always, and they leave! I couldn’t even convince Nancy to stay and she’s like me.”

Eddie looked like Steve had just punched him in the gut, his eyes wider and sadder than ever.

“Sweetheart, sometimes people just aren’t right for each other. But this feels right. You feel right.”

Steve let out a sob at his words. He’d been holding back for a while, and the concern that had built up from the moment Robin told him what was going on seemed to crash down on him.

Eddie was here, telling him how much he cared, telling him that he wants more. That he wants Steve. As he is.

No one had ever wanted Steve for him.

But Eddie didn’t know enough about his history of parents with more money than they knew what to do with, or his friends who pressured him into drinking every weekend until he couldn’t even recognize them, or the times he turned to getting high on whatever Tommy was on during high school just to feel something other than loneliness. He didn’t know that the times between Tommy and Robin, he tried to hide away from everyone, didn’t even bother leaving his apartment other than to go to classes he was almost failing for a solid year. He didn’t know that Steve nearly lost his chance at getting his degree when Nancy broke his heart because he couldn’t leave his bed.

He doesn’t know that Robin is pretty much the only reason he’s even here.

But he wants him. He may not when he knows all of that, but for now, he wants him. Still, he had to ask to be sure, to know he wasn’t just getting his hopes up for nothing.

“You want me?”

“I want you more than anything.”

“Then you have me.”

The way Eddie kissed him shattered his world and put it back together, leaving no question that he’d meant the words he said.

Hands were everywhere, soft until they weren’t, leaving bruises as remnants of their emotions.

Both of them gasped for air. Both of them dove right back in like they couldn’t bear to separate their lips for more than a few seconds.

If this was what it was like being Eddie’s, Steve never wanted to belong to anyone else.

Chapter 8

TAG LIST:  @invisibleflame812 @inmoonywetrust @captain-daryn @carlyv @lillemilly @spectrum-spectre @raisedbylibrarians @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @mightbeasleep @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @bornonthesavage @loguine-linguine @bejeweledbaby @bisexualdisastersworld @eddiemunsonswife @sadcanadianwinter @messrs-weasley @i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch @maya-custodios-dionach @sleepyboosstuff @novelnovella @jestyzesty @f1ct1onwh0re @croatoan-like-its-hot  @shrimply-a-menace @crazyhatlady86 @izzy2210 @phirex22 @crypticcorvidinacottage @yourebuckingkiddingme @sydthekid2004 @lovelylilbadone @abydell921 @wildflower-faun @lydi-cyan @lololol-1234 @221b-fandom @carlajim98 @adaydreamaway08

[bedlamsbard]

“The soldier,” Thanos said. He flinched a little as one of Natasha’s widow’s stings hit him in the side of the head, but brushed it off as if it was nothing more than a mosquito bite. “The man out of…time.”

Thanos let the last word linger there between them. The Stones set across his knuckles glittered in the fading sunlight as he turned his left hand over, thoughtful.

He was a kid playing with a new toy, the kind of boy who burned the wings off flies with a magnifying glass and a sunbeam. Steve knew the exact instant Thanos realized he could use more than one of the Stones at the same time.

March 1945: With the deaths of Johann Schmidt and Steve Rogers only a month old, the SSR has spent the intervening weeks hunting down the last of Hydra’s holdouts. When Peggy Carter and the Howling Commandos are unexpectedly called back to London, however, the return of Steve Rogers from beyond the grave raises more questions than it answers – and draws the attention of a dangerous new enemy.  (Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff)

Previous: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

15: Where the Sun Goes Down 187K, AU, WIP

Chapter preview:

They lay side by side in silence, watching clouds move across the stars overhead.  Eventually, Steve said, “Ever since I woke up here six years ago, all I wanted was to go back there.  And then I did and all I wanted was to come back here.” Bucky took that in, then said quietly, “Why?” “That’s the only question that matters, isn’t it?” Steve said.  He didn’t answer for a while and Bucky didn’t push him, just held the photograph Steve had given him up over his face and studied it in the dim moonlight while Steve thought. “I always thought that if I could ever go back, I’d just…be able to throw myself back in,” he said finally.  “And the thing is – the thing is that’s what everyone there wanted too.  They wanted the guy who’d gone up in the Valkyrie.” “Only you’re not that guy anymore,” Bucky said, his voice soft. “No,” Steve said, equally quiet. “Or, well, I am, I always will be, but – I’m not just that guy anymore.  And I don’t – I didn’t know how to go back, to be just that guy again.  Even if I wanted to.” “Do you?  Want to, I mean.” “I thought I did,” Steve said.  He tried to smile and couldn’t, but Bucky wasn’t looking at him anyway.  “Maybe I could have been if Nat hadn’t been there.  Sometimes I thought that maybe they were right and I had gone crazy.  Sometimes I wished I had.” “Yeah,” Bucky said, so quietly that Steve might not have heard it except for his enhanced healing. “I get that.”

[catandthewell-if]

Thought you guys might enjoy a sneak peak at the (working) names of the chapters for the story since I find them entertaining!

You guys can totally use these for theorizing or to just be entertained! I'd love to see what you guys come up with if you do theorize!

Under the cut, so people who want to go into the story blind don't have to see them ^^ ❤️

Chapter 1 - The White Kingdom

Chapter 2 - The Tulgey Wood

Chapter 3 - Magic Mushrooms

Chapter 4 - Into the Deep

Chapter 5 - Gilded Halls and Sunbeam Rays

Chapter 6 - [REDACTED]

Chapter 7 - Revelations

Chapter 8 - Of Bronze and Gears

Chapter 9 - The [REDACTED] (side note: Almost called this The Tortured Poets Department as a joke)

Chapter 10 - The Rabbit Hole

[elvirable]

Heart to Heart | Chapter 5

[ Simon Riley x f!Reader ] | ao3 link

rating: explicit | word count:4.4k |status: work in progress themes/tags: mental health, protective Simon, smut, kind of slow build, violence, y'all are stuck in an abandoned safety unit and well… ———————————————————————-

There is a saying, one as old as time: the truth will set you free.

Such a simple phrase turned convoluted since the days it left your mouth — his therapist.

In other words: You’re the mandated therapist for Task Force 141. Simon doesn’t know why he keeps seeing you even though he doesn’t say much. Things take a twist when an evacuation is required, all outside communication is lost. Lost to the world, you begin to really know the real Simon Riley.

{ Chapters 1 & 2 } { Chapter 3 } { Chapter 4 }

- A/N: Wanted to get this out because I haven't posted in a while, so while I'm here -- ding! ding! ding! That's the smut bell.. coming next chapter!

A subtle warmth lulled you awake. Pale sunbeams fragmented through the warped windows, further painting the decrepit chapel into a long-forgotten refuge.

Your eyes struggled to flutter open and focus on the cracked ceiling. All you could hear and feel was the throbbing aches migrating throughout every muscle, each limb still leaden with exhaustion. You were slow to collect your thoughts, gradually working up the energy to shake your mental fog before a stinging pain singed your forearm.

“Fuck —“ you hissed, jolting upwards and lurching forward. Before you could instinctively reach for your laceration, a calloused hand abruptly tapped your hand away.

“Glad to see you’re alive.” 

Simon’s voice was enough encouragement and surprise to stifle the pain pulsating through every nerve, and your gaze instantly darted towards him.

He was crouched beside you, a small disinfectant bottle laid beside his boot alongside bloodied and clean bandages. Sweat and the pungent musk of gunpowder permeated the air before the acrid aroma of hydrogen peroxide cut through your senses. 

“Hold still,” came Simon’s order, a firm and husky whisper. He angled your arm back in order to view your wound.

You didn’t expect his grasp on your wrist to hold a gentleness, holding your arm as if it was porcelain. Following his attentive gaze, the sunlight failed to grace your forearm. Dark bruises peppered your skin and further framed your agitated laceration. The taste of blood pooled on your tongue as you bit your lip, trying to hide a hiss as he carefully patted a sanitized cloth against your wound.

“Run into a bear or somethin’?”

“No,” you grunted, incapable of adjusting to the sting of alcohol against your injury. You could feel his gaze flicker briefly back to you before returning. 

“You look fucked up.”

“Thanks,” your voice was flat and dry despite the small smile on your lips, earning a small crinkle around Simon’s eyes. It surely wasn’t the nicest thing you’ve ever been told, but relief washed over your tense nerves. You were thankful he had found you, and his presence brought an agency of safety. 

As he continued to tend to your arm, your eyes took their time to pour over Simon. He appeared uninjured, although the blood caked onto his combat boots indicated some type of altercation. You also suddenly observed how lean he was without the bulky holsters and vests; how noticeable the slight faded ink was on his tattoos peeking from his wrist and the curve of his biceps. He was muscular, but his movements were not cumbersome; he was deliberate and precise.

He was still donning the balaclava, but his light lashes were wispy and longer than you had previously noticed. His eyes held an intense focus on your arm, but much softer than you’ve seen them before. Normally they were hardened, trained forward like an unstoppable force. God help anyone who gets caught in their path.

It was the first time the mystery of the face concealed beneath the mask piqued your interest. You wondered if there were any delicate qualities to it, like his lashes and his hold of your wrist, and less like his typical looming and hard demeanor. 

“I fell down the hill,” you broke the silence with a quiet explanation, settling to watch as he went on to apply antibiotic cream to your wound.

“Explains the trail of bandages I found outside.” 

“Yeah, my bag ripped on the bushes. I lost my earpiece, too.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway, the radios stopped workin’,” Simon shared, now finished wrapping and bandaging your arm.

His words stirred a quiet panic in your stomach. You didn’t really like the sound of that  — how long were you to wait here? Were they going to send out a rescue team? You didn’t even want to entertain the worse case scenarios bubbling into your thoughts. Panic would only serve as useless in this situation.

“C’mere.” Simon rose, his hand reaching for yours to lift you from the dust-ladened floor. 

He pulled you up with ease, and it took a second to regain your balance. Every muscle still held remnants of a soreness  — you had never ran that fast in your entire life and your body was still reeling from the exertion. 

“Where’s all my gear?” You swiveled to survey the room, realizing your ripped bag and all its contents had disappeared. All but your battered coat, which Simon plopped into your hands. 

“Moved it to the bell tower, better for watching the tree line.”

All you could do was hum in recognition. Once you slid your coat on, you followed Simon through the door and rounded the corner of the building. The stark brightness nearly blinded you, and you had to rapidly blink to properly adjust your eyes. Snowfall had faltered since last night, but flurries still held a steady and lazy pace. 

You were soon led to a small door on the back of the building, where a stone staircase led up into the tower.

The landing at the top was missing the bell, fortunately, and had two small arched windows made of brick. While small, you couldn’t help but notice how Simon had laid out and unpacked the gear. It hadn’t been sprawled out, instead assembled into a neat little camp. The sleeping bags were laid side-by-side, a tarp tied above and around to protect them from the harsh cold. A portable cooking stove laid in the center with a small saucepan and a freeze-dried food packet. It had also looked like he had lugged two warped wooden stools up, each positioned at a window. 

He motioned for you to sit in the makeshift sleeping bag cubby before turning to quickly scan the view outside the windows. You gladly obliged, engulfing yourself into one of the thin fleece blankets. You propped yourself up against the brick wall in an attempt to stay awake , but heaviness tugged at your eyelids and brought you back into sleep.

Simon kept watch through the afternoon hours you had fallen asleep, nothing but snow-covered pine to occupy the time. Eventually, he decided the area was clear as it was silent and long-forgotten. 

He cupped his palm to shelter the lighter from the wind and, after a few clicks, watched as the flame turned the cigarette end into embers. With a deep inhale, the slight burn in his throat was a welcoming sensation against the harsh cold. Lulling his gaze over towards you, his eyes watched as your chest rose and fell underneath the fleece blankets. There was a delicate calmness in your sleeping face, looking at peace despite the scrapes and marks contrasting against your skin.

An amused breath exhaled from his nose as he thought of that morning and your reaction. He hadn’t been lying when he said you looked fucked up; exhaustion was written all over your body, hair tossled, and scrapes and bruises all over you. You were usually clean and put-together, so warm that it felt like he was witnessing you out of your element stuck in an abandoned church.

He recalled the vision he was greeted with when he had found you in the early hours of the morning. Sunlight was late to rise, as it always lagged during the winter. He had slid through the door, only to see your limp body sprawled on the floor. You had been extremely pale and your skin was cold, dark blood seeping through your makeshift bandages. 

Simon was no stranger when it came to stumbling upon (and causing) these types of scenes, but this time his stomach had twisted and lurched. It was an immediate and quiet panic that coursed through him, his heart pounding louder as he approached to check your pulse.

He remembered how it dawned on him how small you were in that moment. Of course, physically to an extent  — but it was the lack of your light that had surfaced the realization. He was used to witnessing your radiant vigor, the warmth that followed you wherever you went, that was quite noticeable when it was absent. Your eyes had been sunken with weariness, skin dry and nearly raw from the cold.

But now you were here, curled on the sleeping bags merely two feet away from him. 

Thank God, he thought while he inhaled another cigarette drag. 

He knew he was growing fond of you, but could not grapple with how quickly and how much. Splitting from the task force, escaping in the middle of the night, losing communication  — all these things have happened before on missions. So why did he feel an apprehension now?

Of course he knew why  — it was you. He felt responsible for your safety, for your recovery. Seeing you pale and bleeding still left a bitter taste in his mouth, despite the fact he’s seen way worse on regular missions. He had actually been devastated. 

He didn’t like the thought of losing you, even if you were fast asleep in front of him. Perhaps you were symbolic to him— ushering in all his thoughts, how they crashed and swept his thoughts like a flood. He had spent a lifetime simply not feeling, choking every emotion back down into caverns of his mind. That was his survival  — a blanket of numbness.

Yet you came along with all your questions and your doe eyes and your kindness. And here he was, now suddenly trying to keep his head above the rising waters of all these thoughts and emotions. Simon was aware they were important to address as it was the only way to close the flood gates; he knew these were all valid emotions, but he was gripped with a degree of defeat.

He was overwhelmed, unsure how to navigate such a foreign territory. He didn’t know how to feel and it was a terribly lonely weight to even dwell on this.

And, again, you. Others could only see his outer shell, yet you had peered inside and noticed the riptides and whirlpools swirling deep beneath his thoughts. You had a soothing presence that washed over him, one that saw him and accepted him as he was; eyes that have seen the child he was and all he had gone through without a word being uttered. He never knew how comforting it was to finally be seen.

Simon inhaled deeply to relieve the pressure building in his chest, flicking the cigarette butt and ashing it onto the worn brick. There was a forlorn nature in his stare now, all the thoughts pooling in his mind. 

He wanted to try, at the very least with you, to learn how to feel.

[mrghostrat]

mon horrible cher (chapter 5)

friendly adult friends: in which aziraphale experiences a series of "oh" moments in rapid succession.

Crowley was browsing for himself, and not just idly running a finger across dusty spines or stacking up a collection of bargain textbooks. He was actually looking, searching, pulling books out and flipping carefully through the open pages. Every now and then his head would bow and he would shift his weight from one leg to another, settling in to examine a page in earnest. Crowley was nestled between the sunbeams and shadows of a dusty closet masquerading as a book store and reading, just for the hell of it, and Aziraphale’s breath was totally stolen from him again.

(Enemies to Friends to Lovers / Human AU, where Aziraphale and Crowley are enemy secondary teachers leading a school trip to Paris)

[separatist-apologist]

Still A Sunbeam

Summary: As a child, Elain Archeron is pushed into a pond by the heir to the Day Courts throne, Lucien Spell-Cleaver, and vows she'll never forgive him for it. But as an adult, Elain finds that if she wants out of an arranged marriage to a Spring Court prince, she will need Day Court's help. More is at stake than a decades-old rivalry, and when their home is threatened, Elain and Lucien will have to set aside old differences and work together

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Read on AO3

Cadmus returned a few hours after he’d left her, appearing in the door she hadn’t bothered to close. Ever immaculate, the second born son smiled that wolfish grin as he stepped into the room.

“Sister,” he crooned, crossing his arms against his chest. 

“Don’t say that so loudly,” she warned, all but bouncing off the bed. Elain was bored. It had taken her ten minutes to unpack her things and Arina had never returned from wherever she’d gone with Eris. Elain knew she shouldn’t be frustrated but she was. Stupidly, she’d believed she and Arina were in this together.

But Elain was on her own, at least when it came to navigating Autumn. And clearly Cadmus was going to be her unofficial guide through it all, smirking like his older brother—like his younger brother, too. It must be a genetic thing, she decided, because she knew she’d seen that arrogant look on Lucien’s face more than once. 

Elain sighed. She missed Lucien which made her feel a little pathetic. She was certain he’d found ways to entertain himself and by the time she returned would have a whole host of stories for her. Elain didn’t believe for a second he was pining the way she was.

“Ashamed?” Cadmus asked, leaning casually against the frame of the door. She bet the ladies of Autumn went wild when they saw that. He was handsome in an aristocratic sort of way, with elegant, sharp features that could slice as easily as any knife. He was the only one of the Vanserra’s to have hair that was more brown than red, still coppery but in a darker, warmer sort of way. His features skewed toward his fathers and she wondered how that made him feel when he looked in the mirror.

She liked him, though. Liked him much more than she was sure to like the High Lord, at any rate. 

“No, I’m not ashamed,” Elain replied loftily, poking him in his broad chest when she reached him. “I don’t need you broadcasting what I told you all over the palace.”

Cadmus arched one elegantly groomed brow. “And when you return?”

“Would you like to be penpals?” Elain asked him with syrupy sweetness.

Cadmus’s expression shifted for a moment. “I’d like to see my mother more often.”

Ah. Elain mouthed a wordless oh, because she understood what he was asking—would she use her influence on Lucien so his half-brothers could visit without so much animosity. Elain’s heart ached at the thought of how little they must have gotten to see her and what it was like knowing she was happy without being able to see it for themselves. 

“I’ll talk to him,” Elain murmured softly. Anyone who stumbled on the scene at hand would think something intimate was happening between them which was better and safer than the truth. Killain would be irate but he was always angry when another male was in her vicinity. 

Cadmus exhaled a breath Elain hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His shoulders slumped for only a moment before he straightened himself back out and offered her that same arrogant smile.

“Hungry?”

“Yes,” she lied. Elain wanted to meet everyone who’d come and get a sense of what she’d be doing. Lucien had given her a rundown on the rather boring piece of policy Beron wanted to debate.

Which was shattered the moment Cadmus casually said, “Atticus is trying to rally the seasonal courts into strong arming the Night Court into war. They’ll see you as an ally.”

“Is she a prisoner?” Elain asked, certain there was no one and nothing that could keep Feyre if she didn’t truly want to be there. Not even the fearsome North and their Daemati powers were enough. 

Cadmus shrugged casually, falling into step with Elain. His smoke gray pants and navy blue jacket were a rather lovely combination against his complexion, and made him seem more naughty prince than anything. “No one knows. There is a rumor Feyre sent a letter, but no one has seen it so whether that's true or lies from Night Court, well…you’ll have to take Atticus at his word.”

“Atticus is…” A liar, though she didn’t dare say that. Not when Cadmus likely was, too. And she knew too well that these males often pulled rank and protected each other, regardless of the circumstances or female wishes. If Feyre was saying no, but Atticus was saying yes, Cadmus and Tarquin and maybe Lucien, too, was likely to fall in line. After all, if one female said no and they were forced to honor it, what stopped the rest of them from saying no, too?

Cadmus raised both brows. “I’m interested in your reaction specifically, princess.”

Elain narrowed her eyes, though she supposed princess was better than sister. “Is Tarquin here?”

“Yes,” Cadmus murmured, fingers brushing her back as he led her down a flight of stairs. “Viviane, too.”

Viviane felt like a dream to Elain. Had she once been jealous of Lucien dancing with the Winter princess…or…whatever she was? General to the High Lord who’d been unable to drag his eyes off her, at any rate. Elain wondered if Viviane would be an ally or if she’d side with the males. 

Reaching between them, Elain grabbed Cadmus’s hand. “Don’t let Atticus take me out of here.”

Cadmus paused. “Are you asking for sanctuary?”

“No, I—”

No. She couldn’t get stuck in Autumn and didn’t think the High Lord would ever let her leave. She’d become leverage in his silent war against Helion, made worse when he realized he had the prince's mate. 

“I’m asking you not to let Atticus take me out of Autumn.”

“I can’t stop him if he’s your prince,” Cadmus reminded her. Elain loathed all these rules that bound females unfairly to males and their territory. She hadn’t claimed Lucien and he hadn’t claimed her, hadn’t renounced her home in Spring. Cadmus’s steps slowed, his eyes burning the skin of her cheek. “Is he?”

“So I say you are—”

“You say my brother is,” Cadmus murmured, his voice so soft she felt like he was speaking directly in her mind. “And force me to honor our blood.”

Lucien would kill her for this. She knew he wanted his brothers to learn about his bond at the same time everyone else did. Was she foolish to trust the Vanserra’s when conventional wisdom told her not to? No one in their right mind would entrust the second born Vanserra to a secret of this magnitude.

“Lucien is my mate,” she breathed. Cadmus’s eyes widened for only a moment, bright with wonder. 

“I ought to spend more time in Day,” he finally said, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. “No one knows?”

“Eris does,” she said, grateful he’d kept that secret when it might have served him better to tell his family. Cadmus didn’t seem surprised to hear that. “And Lucien, of course.”

“He hasn’t claimed you—”

“He can’t,” she hissed, forgetting that in Autumn, males owned their mates. If Lucien had been born in Autumn, he could have declared it before court and culturally, the expectation would be that Elain would accept. Spring was the exact same way, but Day, like the other solar courts, allowed females to decide whether they accepted the bond. She could see Cadmus chewing on this knowledge. He knew it in theory—but he was watching it play out in practice and it clearly confused him.

“Are you?” he finally asked, his face a strange mix of wonder and vulnerablity. 

“Maybe,” she replied, poking him in the ribs. “Feeling sorry for Lucien, are you?”

Cadmus scowled. “No.”

“That’s good to hear,” Elain said with a smile, gripping Cadmus’s arm once again. “I promise he is not suffering.”

A cruel smile spread over Cadmus’s face—the sort that told her he was about to ask her something wildly inappropriate. She was spared by Atticus, who rounded the same corner they were coming down only to nearly crash into Cadmus. She’d forgotten how tall and imposing the future High Lord was. He halted, his severe, tan face eyeing them both with distaste. He knew, now. And there was no doubt in Elain’s mind that Killian would be informed at some point. 

Those pine green eyes landed on her, lip curling with distaste. “What are you doing here?” he asked roughly, the demand clanging through her.

“She’s Day Court’s emissary,” Cadmus snapped, speaking when Elain’s mouth opened silently. Heart thudding, she didn’t think she could speak to Atticus. Not without making herself look small and foolish.

Atticus smiled, then, his whole face lighting up as though Cadmus had told a particularly funny joke. “Of course she is. Just as you and I are newly crowned High Lords. My brother is looking for you.”

“He knows how to find me,” Elain said, but the waver in her voice betrayed her. Atticus’s smile was undimmed.

“Mm.”

And then he was gone, swanning past the pair of them like they were little more than an annoyance to him. Cadmus watched, fingers clenched to fists at his sides. “Don’t know where he thinks he’s fucking going,” Cadmus grumbled, placing one callused hand against her back. “Dining room is this fucking way.”

“He’s going to call Killian—” 

“So?” Cadmus interrupted impatiently. “You knew that.”

But knowing it and being confronted with seeing Killian, who was going to try and drag her home, were two entirely different things. And Elain didn’t know how to navigate this situation. Grabbing Cadmus roughly, she pulled her toward a shadowy corner just outside the twin doors carved with the image of a long-dead dragon. 

“I kissed him, once,” she said. Had she told anyone that? Maybe Arina—definitely not Lucien. Cadmus’s brows furrowed, struggling to understand why it mattered. “Killian has been kissing females his whole life. Surely—”

“But he wants to be married, and he’s…you know….how they think about these things.”

“Are you suggesting I think every female I kiss belongs to me?” he asked archly.

“No,” she snapped in response. “You only think they belong to you if you want them for longer than a night or two!”

Cadmus smiled. “You’ve got me there. This is a serious gathering Elain and not an engagement party. Killian still needs the permission of the High Lord to attend and father famously hates everyone. He’s not letting the second Spring son into his home when he didn’t want the first one.”

“Are you sure?”

Cadmus shrugged. “No. Father does things for his own reasons more often than I can count. But I would bet he’s not half as interested in your personal life as Killian is, and he’ll want everyone out just as soon as he can manage.”

And for some reason, that made Elain feel a little better. Everything felt as though it revolved around her and hearing Cadmus say no one was half as interested in her as she was felt reassuring, if nothing else.

With that in mind, Cadmus tugged her toward the doors that would take the pair of them to dinner. With every new step, Cadmus seemed to fade into a male she didn’t recognize. Straight spine, bored expression, and an almost lazy gait. He was every inch one of the Autumn bastards then, leading her into the high ceilinged dining room as though she were of no consequence to him. 

Eris was already there, sitting at a high table at the far end of the room just beside his father. Arina sat beside Viviane, her back to the Autumn prince a few feet away. The two blondes were smiling brightly, ignoring a table of nearby Autumn court males watching them with wolfish expressions. 

From behind them, Tarquin shoulder checked Cadmus. “Excuse me,” the handsome Summer prince murmured, winking once at Elain before making his way toward Viviane. Slipping away her arm, Elain did the same, taking the last chair at the little table already laden with food. Cadmus sauntered off, seemingly unbothered. He didn’t so much as look at her, even when Elain stared him down. He merely joined his brothers away from the high table where his brother and father sat, eating and making rude gestures at a table of nearby giggling females.

“What are you two talking about?” Elain asked, turning back to Viviane and Arina. 

“The Hybern General,” Viviane said, blue eyes crinkled at the edges. She was, if Elain recalled correctly, one of the Winter High Lords most trusted soldiers. A General in her own right, not that she appeared so in her soft, wintergreen dress. “She’s in Spring right now.”

“Atticus is here, though,” Elain said with surprise. She’d seen him in the hall—surely he’d want to stay with his father if a foreign dignitary was joining.

“He was forced here to deal with the Feyre Archeron situation,” Viviane said blithely, forgetting that Feyre was related to Elain by blood. “And I suspect the High Lord doesn’t want an audience to his meeting with her.”

“Or he’s showing her the wall,” Tarquin said casually, picking at a strawberry from a bowl. “Rumors swirl, princess, that Hybern is after more territory.”

“He’d have to be short sighted and stupid,” Arina chimed in, watching Tarquin with an unreadable expression. “Where does he think Hybern will turn once he’s slaughtered the humans?”

“Maybe he hopes to work out some deal. Make himself regent–”

“The High Lord of Spring would never rule under someone else,” Elain interrupted, thinking of that proud, haughty male. “He’d be aiming for High King.”

“He’ll die, just last,” Viviane whispered as Atticus stomped back in, his face twisted with anger. “But not before damning us all to a war on two fronts.”

“Three,” Tarquin replied, popping a grape into his mouth. “He’s been looking for a fight with the High Lord of Night for centuries. He’s finally found it. Just something to think about as we decide Feyre Archeron’s fate.”

“Lucien Spell-Cleaver is doing that already, is he not?” Viviane asked, eyes turning to Elain. Elain had no idea what Lucien was doing while she was away, and thought it was a trap to admit she had any interest in his coming and goings. She shrugged, taking a page from Tarquin’s playbook. Arina, of course, knew better—she knew better than any of them what Lucien might be doing.

She said nothing, drumming her fingers against the table.

“So the seasonal courts agree Night has stolen a Spring Court princess and…what? We force her back—”

“And put the prince on trial,” Tarquin murmured, leaning forward on his elbows. “Draw out his father from his mountain court where he’s much easier to assassinate. Kill the son, see the power transfer to someone more…aggreeable. Like the High Lord’s brother, for instance.”

“A stupid plan,” Arina hissed softly. “Stupider if he thinks someone like Beron would ever bend the knee for him.”

“One thing at a time,” Viviane said cooly, reaching for her fork. “Feyre Archeron today, Prythian’s politics tomorrow. How are you planning to vote?”

“I’ll be waiting to hear what Lucien Spell-Cleaver has to say,” Tarquin replied, glancing at Elain. “He’s honorable—and if she’s been forced, he won’t pretend otherwise, Solar Court alliance or not.”

Tarquin’s gaze slid to her, and Elain knew he was thinking about the night on that pleasure barge when Lucien by rights could have taken her. She’d been throwing herself at him. Begging him, even. And Lucien had locked her up, had put her to bed, and hadn’t touched her any more than was required to keep her safe. She wondered if that was what kept Tarquin from saying anything else. Lucien had mentioned Tarquin suspected what was happening between them when he’d warned her who might be in Autumn. 

Elain was grateful for his silence. 

“I heard she wrote a letter renouncing her home in Spring,” Viviane said, looking once again at Elain. “And if that’s true, I won’t be calling to bring her back, and neither will Kallias.”

“Very progressive of you,” Tarquin said with a slick smile. Viviane’s answering smile was just as vicious, lethal in its beauty. Like she knew some secret about the prince none of the rest of them did—a secret she, too, was choosing not to divulge, at least for now. Elain didn’t care. Sitting at that table, Elain could only think of Feyre.

What trouble have you gotten yourself in this time?

LUCIEN:

“What are you painting?” he began, well aware she’d been working on a portrait of Rhysand. That didn’t seem to bode well for the Spring Court princess—was her mind consumed with him? And if it was, had Rhysand been the cause of that. He could scent nothing unusual about her. Not even sex, which he would have assumed would be present had Rhysand so much as touched her. That’s what Tamlin was alleging, at least partly. Feyre’s compliance was all forced. 

Scanning her form, Lucien couldn’t detect a spell bound around her. A bargain shimmered against her forearm, but that was hardly a secret given the swirling, black-inked tattoo was visible to anyone with a working pair of eyes. 

“Nothing,” she said, cheeks dark with embarrassment. Lucien was tempted to look behind him and see if Rhysand was still watching and didn’t think he’d like what he’d see. Feyre Archeron rose from her chair, fair skin splattered with multi-colored dots of paint. Planting her hands on her hips, she demanded, “Are you taking me back to Spring?”

“I could take you to Day Court, if you’re looking for sanctuary,” Lucien replied evenly. Feyre considered this for a moment, clearly not expecting him to offer an alternative. 

“With Elain?”

“Yes,” he agreed, picking up a dry paintbrush on a little stand by her easel. “I’m sure she’d be very happy to see you.”

Feyre snorted. “Annoyed, more like it. Nesta is here—no one is trying to drag her back.”

“I suppose they assume she plans to return at some point.”

“Well, that’s stupid considering she’s training with—”

“Feyre!” Rhysand interrupted, his smooth voice sharper than usual. “Manners, darling.”

Lucien did turn, then, sighing with exasperation. “You don’t have to watch, you know.”

Rhysands expression shifted, eyes wholly focused on Feyre. He said nothing for a period so long Lucien had began to wonder if he wasn’t going insane. Turning, he saw Feyre’s grinning back at him and— 

“Oh, Cauldron boil me! You’re doing very little to convince me she isn’t under your control, you know.”

“I’m not,” Feyre said with a sullen expression. “You don’t need to know everything.”

Great. 

Lucien caught how Rhysand flinched at Feyre’s declaration Lucien didn’t need to know everything. Lucien raised his brows and decided to play a little harder. “Alright. Take me back, then—”

“She means about my territory,” Rhysand said smoothly, pushing off the door frame he was leaned again. “Not about her stay here. Isn’t that right, darling?”

“Oh, but of course,” she bit back sarcastically. “As I’m just a silly female, it makes total sense that the only way I’d be able to make my own decision was if another male was controlling my mind.”

Rhysand smothered his grin. “Play nice.”

Feyre rounded on him, arms crossed over her chest. “How is my sister? Do you boss her around, too?”

Lucien sighed. “Hardly.”

Feyre didn’t bother to hide her smile. “Good. I hope she’s giving you hell. She hates you, you know.”

“Yes, I am well aware of Elain’s feelings toward me,” Lucien replied dryly. He didn’t mention that those feelings had shifted because this wasn’t about him or Elain, but preventing an absurd civil war over one female Lucien was relatively certain had come of her own accord. “Why Night Court, Feyre?”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, turning toward the window looking over the mountains. “Nesta was here and I thought…Elain is practically engaged, and I think she’s content with that. I worried if I came to her, she’d urge me to go back. I snuck in–”

“How did you manage that?” Lucien asked, genuinely curious. Feyre glanced at Rhysand, something silent spoken between them. Lucien caught Rhysand subtly shake his head no.

“Their mind control doesn’t work on me,” Feyre told him, defiance flashing in those silvery blue eyes. “I’m daemati, too.”

Lucien blinked. A seer and a daemati in the same family. “Does Spring know—”

“No,” she said quickly, defiance replaced with panic. “And they can’t. This is between us, Spell-Cleaver.”

He inclined his head. “So, you can’t be manipulated. You sneak into Night. What then?”

“Rhysand picked me up at the border and brought me here.”

Lucien very much doubted that was the entirety of the story. He’d seen the city below, though, and guessed the prince was keeping far more secrets than one beautiful city. That was fine—Lucien was, too. All the courts jealously guarded their territories, hiding it from others who might try and take it if they knew it better. Night was hardly any different. 

“I’m not going back and I’m not marrying him. I wrote him a letter saying as much,” Feyre finished, her voice icy steel. “I know Atticus is convening in Autumn to try and whip the seasonal courts into a frenzy.”

Lucien sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Well, your sister is there on behalf of Day, so I suspect she’ll side with you.”

“You suspect, or you know?”

“I can’t predict Elain’s actions with accuracy,” Lucien replied in his most level tone. Rhysand rolled his eyes. “I don’t think she wants you to go back to Spring.”

“Why don’t you stay for the night?” Rhysand finally said, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Give it the illusion of fairness.”

That was the last thing Lucien wanted. He had to remind himself that going home wouldn’t bring Elain back to him any quicker and would only make him more restless. At least here he could pester Rhysand about Night and get to know Feyre a little better. He knew so little about her life before she’d come to him, though he knew the stories. Of course he knew of Feyre, but he didn’t know her well.

It was cynical, but maybe if he got in good with Feyre, Elain wouldn’t be so afraid to accept the mating bond—

“Mating bond?!” Feyre’s surprised gasp pulled Lucien from his thoughts. Even Rhysand’s eyes went wide, surprised by the news. “You and Elain are mates?”

Rhysand began laughing, pulling his hands from his pockets to cross them over his chest. “Oh, how funny, Spell-Cleaver.”

Lucien was tempted to divulge Rhysand’s secret right then and there. Careful with his thoughts, Lucien snarled, “My head isn’t an open play ground for you.”

“Forgive me for not trusting you,” she replied dismissively. “You were practically screaming them at me, besides.”

“We talked about this,” Rhysand murmured reproachfully. 

“Is he your teacher?”

“She has to earn her keep somehow,” Rhysand said smoothly. “Just like Elain does.”

“I asked him to,” Feyre said, defensive all over again. “You don’t know what it’s like to know everyones thoughts all the time.”

Lucien couldn’t imagine—didn’t want to imagine. That seemed like a particular kind of hell, hearing what everyone thought of you as they were thinking it, even as they smiled to your face and lied. He wondered if that didn’t play a part in why Feyre was so desperate to get away from Tamlin. She knew exactly what he thought of her—what he wanted, what he expected, even if his lips said something different. 

“It’s quiet here,” she told him with a slump of her shoulders. “I feel like I can breathe.”

Lucien tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “How about lunch?”

Feyre’s eyes perked up. “Can I take him to—”

“Yes,” Rhysand interrupted smoothly, eyes twinkling like a thousand stars. “Don’t give it away. Lucien likes surprises. You two enjoy yourselves. I have to meet my mother at the border—mind what you tell the fox, hm, darling?”

Feyre’s smile was razon sharp. “As you say, princeling.”

Oh, Lucien liked her, even of Rhysand was wrong. Lucien liked nothing of the sort—at least, not the kind Rhysand found amusing. Still, he found himself charmed by Feyre Archeron and her easy, unguarded emotions. He sympathized with her.

And if she wanted to take him to lunch, well. Lucien was happy to tag along.

[the-owl-tree]

airheaded lightleap + her gf sunbeam and ofc whatever the hell is going on with frostpaw would have made this arc sooooooo much more interesting to read. “sunbeam I can fit 5 frogs into my mouth!!” “LIGHTLEAP YOU CRAZY BITCH THERE’S BEEN A MURDER” “el oh eeeellllll 😜” and from frostpaw’s chapters there’s the distant sound of screeching and dogs barking. if this arc was treated like a horror comedy it would be so good. does anyone else see the vision

you're so right. give me toxic yuri along with my frostpaw trauma chapters, it would have been really fucking funny.

[that-one-random-writer]

Caution to the Wayward Son Chapter 5 *mature*

Rooster x f! Not pilot Reader- Enemies to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, Drinking, 18+ Words: 2,546 no use of Y/N

Summary: One bad first date. That's all it takes for an impression to be rotten. A reputation costs more than just the price of dinner. Six months deployed on an aircraft carrier across the hall from the date. That is priceless in the navy.

Chapter 1 My masterlist

Today was an off day you got dressed in your rec uniform. A black t-shirt with a pair of shorts.

You open your door as Bradley does. His black shirt was so basic, and yet each muscle seemed to pop against the color. "Ladies, first," He said.

"So you can stare at my ass?" You lifted a brow and crossed your arms, leaning on the door frame. You had irritation running off your words. You could hear him singing in the shower this morning. It was a rude awakening at five in the morning on your only off day so far.

Bradley smirked. "You did it yesterday."

You huffed and walked down the hallway. "Fuck you." You said loudly.

"You wish you could." He said calmly watching your body sway. Despite the annoyance you put him through he enjoyed the shorts.

"Not even a little bit, bradley" you called back.

He picked up his pace following close behind you. "Good, because I dont want to fuck you either. Im sure you're just as selfish in bed as you are on a regular basis."

You kept walking, not rushing to get too ahead of him. "I am not selfish. If we had sex you'd probably be drunk expecting me to be head over heels for that."

"You're still on that?" He groaned. "You were late." You both made it to the deck. A volleyball court was being prepared. Bradley joined the group, setting up the net. You went to the sidelines finding Em. You both weren't much into volleyball.

"Good morning." Em smiled brightly.

"Good morning, Em. I know you're happy to be outside. " You watched as the waves formed behind the boat, and the sunbeams trickled down to your skin.

"Being outside just feels so good. I hate being locked up in the ship." Em looked out to the water. I'm just enjoying the breeze.

It had been a while since you've seen the outside. It was so refreshing to have a breath of fresh air and the sea salt tickling your sense of smell.

The game started, and the players started trash-talking and placing bets. You could hear the groups banter back and forth. Em laughed poking fun at them. Then making bets herself.

"I bet the team with the two girls is going to win." She spoke confidently. "I bet it will be the team with the tallest guy." You both watched as they played, making sure to tell each other when your team scored a point.

You watched as Bradley's team scored a point. He was on Em's betted team.

Bradley smiled as Pheonix spiked the ball into the other side. She clapped her hand to his, and they laughed together.

A pang hit your heart. Heat flowed around your skin. It was so much better when this was the other way around. You tried to focus on the points, but watching their interactions had jarred your emotions.

"What's with you?" Em looked over at you. She could feel the anger radiating off you. The fun you were having suddenly halting. "I'm fine." She followed your gaze and saw Bradley.

"Isn't that your partner in class?" She squinted her eyes to see the man she had seen you quietly arguing with on occasions.

You rolled your eyes. "Yes. He is an asshole. He was the one I was talking about who got pissed when I tried to look ahead on the manual."

She looked over at the girl he was laughing with. "Who's the girl that's with him? She is pretty. I've seen her in class." Em smiled at back at you.

"She's alright." Is all you could say through gritted teeth.

"Girl... you're jealous." She giggled lightly at your jealousy. "So does that mean I can start flirting with Trix?"

"I'm not into either one of them." You glanced at Trix or 'cereal boy' as Bradley called him. Trix was playing basketball with some of his friends on the opposite side of the deck.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. You need to talk to your partner before that girl locks him down." She got up, leaving you to go flirt with Trix. You tried to take your eyes off Bradley but just couldn't seem to. You watched as he victory danced along with his friends. He seemed to be fun to be around. You wanted to know that side of him. The side that you were told about making you want to go out on a date in the first place. He caught your gaze. You shot your eyes anywhere else but his.

He looked for Johnson. He expected you to be with him. He saw Em standing particularly close to Johnson.

He looked back towards you after analyzing just how close Em was to cereal boy, but you were gone.

You walked to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"So, your ten minutes are up with cereal boy, and he goes after the girl you sit with at lunch. Harsh, " Bradley spoke up behind you. He sat down at a table across from the fridge, resting from the volleyball game.

You stood back up from the fridge. "I gave her the go ahead, actually." You turned towards him. "You seemed to be close to the pretty girl you always sit with at lunch." You had noticed her before, but Bradley didn't seem particularly close to her until now.

Bradley laughed at the tone you took. It had been the first time he gave a genuine laugh to something you said. "Jealous?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, I'm not."

He pointed at you. "Yes, you are. I can see it on your face."

"Why would I be jealous?" You looked up at him. The look on your face truly did disagree with the words from your own lips.

He stood up and walked over to you. He grabbed the water bottle from your hand and brought it to his lips, taking a sip. He put it back in your hand. He squinted his eyes whispering. "You tell me."

"I have nothing to be jealous about." You narrowed your eyes at him.

He stepped closer to you, leaning his hand on the wall behind you. His lips had entered your space. He was just a few inches away from you. You looked down at his lips, then back to his eyes that were still directed at your lips. He lifted his gaze back to yours.

"Are you sure?" He smirked and picked up his hand off the wall, walking away from you and back outside.

You stood for a moment, almost catching your breath from what happened.

You walked back out to the deck and sat next to Em and Trix. You tried to keep your eyes away from the volleyball court. You made small talk with the pair and tried your best to keep your mind away from Bradley.

Bradley couldn't stop thinking about being that close to you. Those shorts had made him think too hard on one thing. The way your hips swayed when you walked. There was only one reason you could be jealous of Nat. He wanted to give you a taste of being close to him, he knew that's what you craved. He read it in your eyes.

The sun fell, and everyone packed up. They filed down the halls, stopping by to grab things before they settled in for the night.

You just headed straight for your room. Your mind swirled with him being so close to you. You got undressed and laid down. Your mind just kept running with all the teasing he's been doing. You couldn't help yourself as your hands slipped down the covers, meeting your warmth.

Bradley walked down the hall. He heard the sound of your moans slowly getting louder as he got closer to the door. He pulled out his phone and sent the friend request, then stepped into his room quietly.

He immediately got a notification that you had accepted. You continue moaning, and he could feel himself throbbing again.

He listened to you as his hands searched down his shorts. He flipped through your pictures, finding the ones that satisfied him the most. Bradley loved seeing your body.

The next morning class started again.

"Did you ever think of what you're jealous about?" Bradley asked writing notes down in his notebook.

"I already told you, I'm not jealous." You pulled out your highlighters. You started marking the page.

Bradley cringed at every squeak. There was one after another. "Will you stop with the damn squeaking?"

You continued marking the page. "Will you stop thinking I'm jealous?" He grabbed the highlighter from your hand and capped it, putting it in his pocket.

"The more I'm around you, the more I can't stand you." You pulled out a different color and continued.

"The more I'm around you, the more you get on my nerves." He said back, taking the defeat and pink highlighter with him.

"You are so fucking petty. Go touch some damn grass. I don't fucking like you. There is no jealousy. Im just trying to pass this class so I can get the hell away from you." You marked a few more words. Then sat the highlighter down.

"I wish you'd get the hell away from me now." Bradley spoke through his teeth.

"Trust me, I wish I could too." You scoffed.

You were fuming for the rest of the day. He kept pressing the issue during class. You walked down the hallway to your room after being dismissed.

"You can just say it, you know." He walked behind you.

You looked back at him. "Say what?"

"You're upset that our date went so bad, and its all your fault being late."

You groaned. You opened your door and walked into the room slamming the door. You heard a knock.

"Fuck off, bradley." You called towards the door.

"Open your door." He leaned against the wall with his hand.

"No," You yelled through the walls.

"Please, just open the door." He spoke cautiously. He grabbed the highlighter from his pocket.

You opened your door. Just enough to see through. "Here." He held out the highlighter.

You opened the door a little more, reaching out. You grabbed it from his hand and stuck it in your pocket. You pushed the door back closed.

You felt it push back against you before it clicked shut. Bradley had pushed the door fully open. He stepped inside. "What is your problem? Why do you hate me so much?"

You stepped back, anger intensity pulling all around you.

"Because you're an unbearable asshole. You have to follow the rules." Bradley takes a step closer. "You can't just let me do something without saying something is wrong with how I do it, I'm walking too slow, I'm not supposed to read ahead, I can't breathe without you telling me it's irratating you." Your body tensed.

"So that's it, really? There's no other reasons" He stood in front of you.

Your voice grew louder. "I hate the way you sit in class and argue with me every day, then go out on the deck with a different woman and act all smiles and rainbows to her. I hate the way you think I'm an evil bitch." Each word getting higher into a scream.

"You are an Evil bitch." He threw his hands up. "You don't care about other people's time. You don't consider anyone else. Everything is about you. You are so selfish. You were late on the fucking date then just showed up with no texts or calls." He stepped closer to you.

You took a step towards him, pointing your finger on his chest. "I was late because my roommate lost her damn key. I'm not fucking selfish. I did text you, then when I showed up you were fucking trashed. I hate that you were trashed. I wanted that date to go well. It was the first one I'd been on in a year. I decided to try to give you a chance because you looked like a fun guy in your stupid fucking Hawaiian shirt. You didn't look like you took life too seriously. Then I got here and you were a complete dick, and had to follow by the book rules. But then..." you trailed hurt streaming from your face. "you go to the deck and you are like that with her? What the hell?" You're yelling as he closes the gap grabbing your hand. Your nose is just an inch apart from his.

"You were late and I never got a fucking text message. Work is serious. You aren't apart of my life outside of work." His voice softened. "I thought you stood me up. So, I did what any man would do. I drank because you were the only date I'd had in six months that said yes, then you didn't even show, just to show up an hour late." He said it again softer. "I never got a text." He turned opening the door, walking out.

You stood dumbfounded. You grabbed your phone and scrolled down the messages you hadn't pressed send. The message was still in the space for typing after all this time. Just a few words from being finished.

You heard the door open back up. You looked up as his lips forced their way to yours.

Shock clung to your nerves. His body fell against yours backing you into the wall. His hand grabbed yours pinning you to the wall. You threw your phone to the bed then wrapped your other arm around his neck deepening the kiss.

His other hand fell to your waist. His hand aggressively pulls you closer to him. You both explored each others lips and bodies. He trailed his hand down your leg, pulling it up. The rough fabrics of your uniforms merging together. His biceps strained against the sleeves.

His muscle teased your arm that was wrapped around him. Your fingertips traveled to his jawline. You traced the scars on his face. His lips finally slipped away from yours. His deep eyes meet yours. "I'm sorry." You pulled him back in, crashing your lips back to his.

"I'm sorry too." You mumbled against his lips. His hand released yours from the wall. He wrapped both hands around your legs, lifting you from the ground. His hips pressed against yours. You wrapped both arms over his shoulder. The kiss leaves tingles around your body.

You had realized that this was happening with no take backs, but you didn't care. As irritating as he was in class, you wanted desperately to be a part of his world. The world where he wasn't the serious man that you knew him as. You wanted to see the side that was wayward, where you never knew what was coming next.

He let you down, back to your feet. You both were wanting more, not tonight. It was an unwritten boundary between the both of you. You both would wait before traveling further into each other. "We're going to redo the date." He spoke against your lips. "Mmhmm," you agreed and kissed him again, not wanting to let go. "The next off day?" You grinned against his lips. "I'm yours."

Chapter 6

I do not give permission for my stories to be posted anywhere. Stealing stories makes you a c u next tuesday.

[jinlizz-dragondrama]

A/N Sorry for the late chapter update with my birthday and fathers Day I was a bit busy. Also, I'm pregnant I have 9 more weeks until my little one is here so I was also busy with the nursery. Hopefully, now that I'm not as busy I'll continue pushing out chapters. Enjoy 💜

Chapter 5

Victory

Y/N POV

The bright and early sunrise starts to seep through the blinds of my room. Groaning, I try to seek shelter under my blankets, but not even they could shield me from the powerful sunbeams. I looked at my phone to check the time, and it was 7 a.m., rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and thanking the gods that it was the weekend. I have a couple of hours before the "tryouts" for the swim team, deciding to get out of bed and take a quick shower to freshen up. Once I'm finished I put on my bra and panties, with black shorts and a purple tank top. Opening up my blinds I look outside, noticing the busy street full of taxis, buses, and rows of cars, placing my hand under my chin and resting it on the windowsill. My phone rings, I jump and scramble to grab it, seeing it's a text from Donnie,  several texts from Cass and my dads asking where I was.  Quickly shooting Cass and my dads a text letting them know I'm at the safe house and that I'll be trying out for the swim team. Cass messages me back telling me I'll def get in and that she'll be busy with training most of the day and won't be able to message me til later tonight. Papa Brutus messages back saying he's glad that I'm ok and wishes me good luck. I then go to Donnie's message while smiling brightly and text him back.

Donnie: Good morrow Y/N I hope you had a restful night's sleep.

Me: Indeed I did, what are you doing up this early?

Donnie: I can ask you the same thing

Me: Well I asked first, so answer the question

Donnie: Fine, Alas with me working in my lab I'm known for staying up late and only going to sleep if it's necessary. But a good cup of black coffee helps me stay awake.

Me: Ah I see. Your coffee order is easy to remember. Now I think sleep is very important gotta keep the mind fresh.

Donnie: Yea, you sound like my brothers always telling me to take a break, but with a mind like mine it never sleeps.

Me: Well maybe I can change that

Donnie:...

Me: What I mean is show you the perks of sleeping...maybe make it an experiment of sorts.

Donnie: You had me at an experiment

Me: Now as to why I'm awake Well the sun is my worst nemesis and I have a Swim tryout today.

Donnie: Well once you're done maybe you can come over

Before I can text back I get another couple of texts from him in quick secession.

Donnie: April will be there.....

Donnie: You don't have to come

Donnie: But everyone has been asking about you, especially Leon

3rd Person POV

Donnie cringes when he types his twin's name, it would seem Leon has a special interest in Y/N and Donnie has no idea how to feel about it. He's been asking questions nonstop about Y/N, so he's been holed up in his lab avoiding him, trying to work on something anything to shove down these feelings/emotions. Researching was no help at all. He pulls himself from the depths of his overthinking brain and sees that Y/N has messaged back.

Y/N: Sure, once I'm done with tryouts I'll pop over.

Y/N POV

After I send the text I grab my black gym bag that's covered in stickers and iron on logos. Stuffing a bathing suit in, with water shoes, a wallet, a book I've been trying to finish, a Swim cap, goggles, and shoving my phone in my surprisingly deep butt pocket in my shorts. (LOL shorts pockets are never deep enough for a phone) Putting the strap over my shoulder and slipping into my rollerblade sneakers. I give Cass a quick call letting her know what I'm up to I walk out the front door lock it, and clinking my heels together I rollerskate to the school, letting the security guard know I'm here for the tryouts he lets me through and gives me directions to the pool. I make my way to the pool, it seems to be a good turnout of students some I've seen in passing in the hallway and some I haven't seen at all. I write my name on the rooster book, and a male and female coach gets our attention letting us know that we should change into our suits and that the boys will be on one side of the pool while the girls will occupy the other. Quickly changing into my f/c one-piece suit and putting on my goggles, I expertly stuff all my hair into my XL swim cap, jumping into the pool I swim over to the girls and await instructions. Each girl takes turns swimming 2 laps of each stroke style; backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, and freestyle. When it's my turn I easily complete each stroke with precision and grace, without the use of my elemental powers. Being in the water is so relaxing and calming for me and swimming is just a plus, if I could live in the water I would.

After everyone is finished with the "warm up" as the coach called it we were given a partner to swim against. I was partnered with a shorter sweet looking girl who shyly waved at me and I returned the wave. Quickly introduced ourselves and jumped into the pool to do a quick freestyle 50-meter swim. (50 meters is going from one end of the pool, touching it, and swimming back to the end you started at). We step onto the small diving boards and the coach yells out

"Get into position!"

"Take your mark" We pull our bodies forward but not far enough to fall off the diving board while using our strongest foot to ground us. The horn is blown and we push ourselves straight into the water. I hear the splash I make and the gurgling of the water as it envelopes me in its cool embrace. With my arms out in front of me and moving my feet and legs in a mermaid-like fashion under the water, holding my breath until I have to come up for air, I start to do the freestyle stroke. Turning my head to the side to breathe I can see the girl is far behind me, but I continue to swim, once I get to the end of the pool I flip over under the water, facing the way I came, pushing off the wall of the pool with my feet and blowing air bubbles out from my nose so they wouldn't fill with water I continue my swim until I make it back to where I started. I take off my goggles and stay in the pool to catch my breath, waiting for my swim partner to finish and to catch my breath. When she reaches the side I'm on we high-five each other and climb out. Grabbing my towel I dry myself off and soon everyone is finished, the coaches congratulate us on being on the team and how excited they are to see how much we will improve as the season goes on. Even though the tryouts were just to see everyone's swimming skills and potential everyone made the team.

Changing back into my street clothes, I text Cass, Donnie, and my papas that I'm on the team. I get congratulations from each of them except Cass but I know she'd flip if she was able to read it. Donnie messages me that he will meet me at the school with April and walk me to his family's place. As soon as I exit the school grounds I see a familiar purple hoodied figure and a green letterman jacket wearer right next to him. I quickly make my way over and shout out to them.

"Hey, guys!" I say cheerfully

"What up gurl! Heard you made the team!" April said

"Yea it was no biggie" I reply as we start making our way down the street. When we are out of earshot of anyone Donnie pipes up and says.

"I guess we will have to see who is the better swimmer, seeing as I'm a turtle and all," he said smugly

"Is everything a competition with you Donnie?" April retorts

Donnie just shrugs and puts his arms behind his head as he continues to walk. I roll my eyes and follow the duo to a pizza shop. April and Donnie grab the huge stack of pizza boxes and we make our way down an alley. I'm not as concerned as I should be given I'm going down an alley that's filled with dumpsters and trash. Definitely something out of a horror film, we stop by a manhole that is easily lifted by Donnie with one hand while balancing the pizza boxes. April climbs down the ladder without hesitation and I peek down at her while she waves up at me.

"After you M'lady" Donnie says while smirking at me

I jump down, but slip on some sludge landing on my butt with an "oomph". Donnie tries his best to hold back his laughter but a chuckle slips through his snout as he jumps down to join us. When I stand up and dust myself off I give him a playful nudge that was hard enough to make him stumble a bit and for a split second lose his balance on holding the boxes. Leaving him behind I follow April til we get to a steel door which is opened by her with quick taps on the keypad. We walk in and I couldn't help but be in complete shock as to what I see a whole underground garage where a turtle shell-shaped tank was located, I continue to follow April we reach another steel door and April types another code in and slowly creaks open. I'm welcomed by two brothers Mikey and Leo skateboarding on their half pipe, walking over I lean over a railing and watch them. Leo is the first one to see me and he expertly jumps off his skateboard and his board lands in his hand while looking at me smugly.

"Well, looks who's finally decided to show up!" Leo says

*Gasp* "Oh Me Gosh Y/N and April are here," Mikey says excitedly

Donnie clears his throat from behind the pizza boxes.

"Oh and Donnie is back," Leo says sarcastically.

Donnie scoffs and makes his way through another set of tunnels, we follow and enter a living room filled with bean bags and a couch. Their Dad Splinter has parked his butt right in front of the projector screen, he looked quite comfy in his lazy boy recliner and is watching an interesting-looking show while laughing loudly. Donnie goes to the kitchen to put the pizzas down on the counter. Mikey comes up to me and smiles happily. The turtles congratulate me on making the swim team and give high 3's.

"While dad watches his show care to play a game of Mario Cart"? He asked

"I've never played before...." I say shyly

"WHAT," All turtles and April said in unison

I turn to see the huge turtle standing in the entranceway to the TV room looking shocked at my statement.

"Well, we better change that," April said while grabbing my hand and pulling me towards their arcade room where several gaming consoles are hooked up. April grabs the controllers for the Nintendo Switch but one was grabbed from her hand by the blue turtle.

"Me thinks we should rock, paper, scissors and see who gets to beat the new girl first" Leo stated while bouncing it lightly in his hand.

Donnie returned from putting the pizzas down but brought one box with him.

"Well how about a little wager to make this interesting, whoever wins gets the first and last slice of pizza," he says while twirling the pizza on one finger but almost drops it and instantly catches it

"Sounds fair, I'm game," I say

Mikey and Leo play rock, paper scissors, and Leo wins, Mikey pouts a little. Then Leo and Raph play and Leo wins that round, April, and Leo have a go but it's a tie, then Leo wins best out of three. Lastly is Leo and Donnie, I couldn't help but feel the tension in the room rise. Both brothers glare at each other and I could swear I heard some cowboy showdown music....which April was playing from her phone. I couldn't help but laugh. It was an intense battle each time it was a tie and soon we didn't see an end to this, so I interjected saying.

"Since you guys want to get your butts beat so bad. I'll just play against the two of you"

That seemed to calm down the tension and I sit on a bean bag in front of the TV with a controller, Leo cuts Donnie off and gets the second controller, smugly looks at Donnie, and starts the game. Donnie rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his plastron. Mikey sits next to me with his legs crossed and gives me pointers and somehow I win. I flail my arms about in glee, giggling happily and accidentally letting out a snort. I blush profusely and everyone around me laughs as well, except Donnie who slightly blushes from hearing my cute little snort but hides his blush by covering his face with his palm. After he recovered Donnie takes Leo's place in the beanbag, and he changes his face to his emotionally unavailable bad boy image face (iykyk 🤪).

"You ready to lose?" He said confidently

I look over at him with a quirked eyebrow and it seemed like my purple eyes glowed with a mischievous gleam.

"Oh I think you'll be the one losing" I counter

"Scoff, the probability of that happening is like 1%," he said while rolling his eyes

"Well that means I still have a chance"

We start the game and it's an intense round we are neck and neck but I luckily pick up a blue spiny shell and toss it towards Donnie's character which knocks him back, crossing the finish line in victory.

I look over at the stunned purple turtle and smile.

"You were saying?"

Unable to utter a single word, Leo in his stead hands me the pizza box while chuckling at his brothers reaction and I take the first slice of pizza, the cheese pull was a sight to behold. April takes a quick pic of this moment and laughs at Donnie's face. Donnie snaps out of his shock and a small smile appears on his face. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch at least until I let slip that I never saw a Jupiter Jim or a Lou Jitsu movie which started a whole Splinter pulling out all the Lou Jitsu movies, Raph grabbing the Jupiter Jim movies and a lecture with Donnie using the projector to get his point across as to how these movies are some sort of right of passage. We start watching the Jupiter Jim movies which I'll admit were pretty alright, I watch intently while snacking on popcorn and pizza. Soon April is asleep snuggled up next to me on the bean bag, Leo and Mikey are snoring on the couch, Raph is sleeping soundly on the floor and Donnie is typing away on his tech gauntlet, in a bean bag next to me, the blue hue from the screen illuminating his face. I blush slightly at how handsome the lightning makes his features look. I grab the last slice of pizza and as I'm taking a bite, Donnie says quietly

"Don't get used to it, my calculations next time will be correct."

"I look forward to it" finishing the slice and slowly start dozing off. My head gently lands on Donnie's shoulder, he jumps from the sudden contact, looking up from vis gauntlet he sees my peaceful sleeping face. Grumbling quietly to himself he tries his best not to move and graciously allows my head to rest there. Later on when everyone wakes up they see our sleeping figures, with my head still on his shoulder and his head on mine, April takes a pic while quietly laughing and Leo asks her to send it to him. He will definitely use this as blackmail later. (Donnie voice "Evil Laugh!!")