#sun wukong/neptune vasilias

[mlmshipbracket]

ROUND 1: POLL #16

ROUND 1 POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

Sun Wukong/Neptune Vasilias:

Argos/Mr. Plant:

Two little creeps in love

[arc-misadventures]

Who’s Who?

Neptune: Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Yeah?

Sun: We’ve got a question for you!

Jaune: And, it is?

Sun: Of the girls in your life…

Neptune: Who do you think bets fits what position on this list?

Jaune: What list?

SN: This one.

Jaune: Oh… well from left to right it would be…

Jaune: Blake, Yang, Weiss, Pyrrha, Neo, and Bleiss.

Neptune: ...?

Sun: ...?

Jaune: But, if you want them to be a bunch of milfs…

Sun: Excuse me…?

Neptune: Milfs?!

Jaune: Then it would be… again, from left to right…

Jaune: Willow. Raven, Terra, Summer, Salem, and Kali.

Sun: …?!

Neptune: …?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: What?

Neptune: You said that with such confidence, and so quickly ...

Jaune: Yeah?

Sun: Like you already knew they would be perfect for the role...

Neptune: But, not just those six ladies…

Sun: But, a bunch of milfs as well…

Jaune: …

Sun: Does that mean…?

Jaune: …

Neptune: All t-twelve of them…?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: No comment.

SN: ...

SN: YOU ARE A GOD!

Jaune: No comment.

[sirazaroff]

We are SO fuckin back

Original by @/soup-erb

[maxiemumdamage]

Qrow: "I am already a single father to like ten kids, NO WAY am I adopting you two!"

[startea101]

This is how you get out of artblock actually

[juanarc-thethird]

Playing D&D #2

Continuation of this

The group of adventurers is in a bind. His new enemy is a magical crystal with a life of its own. Ren and Sun are down, hurt, and have no energy to continue.

Jaune: Neptune, it's your turn.

Neptune: *Shaking his dice*

Sun: You can do it bro, we believe in you!

Ren: You just need a 10 or more and we will defeat him.

Neptune: Let's go!

He rolls his dice! The die bounces and spins without control… With each bounce its speed decreases… It is coming to an end…. And then….!

Neptune: It's....

Jaune: Yes...

Neptune: It's a one.

Jaune: Sorry....

Jaune: But your attack failed. The magic crystal defends itself against your attack and counterattacks with a deadly ray. Leaving you injured on the ground without being able to move.

Sun: FUCK!!

Ren: We were so close.

Jaune: The crystal prepares its last deadly attack. It charges his lightning slowly…

Ren: It was a pleasure to have fought alongside you guys.

Sun: Likewise, this was the best adventure I have ever had.

Neptune: See you on the other side.

Jaune: *Looks at them for a second and thinks*

Jaune: *rolls his dice*

Jaune: At that moment FartBuckle appears from the shadows.

Ren: *Shock* No....

Jaune: The little goblin that accompanied you on your journey takes Ren's dagger and runs as fast as he can towards the magic crystal.

Sun: *Panic* STOP!!!

Jaune: He can see the weak spot in the glass. Right in the middle of where the lightning charges.

Neptune: *Worry* Jaune, please stop!! He wasn't supposed to be here!

Jaune: He inserts the dagger right in the center. Causing the crystal to lose control.

Ren: Jaune! Stops this now!!

Jaune: He turns to look at the three of you and says,

FartBuckle: I… Save… Friends… FarBuckle… Is… Happy….

Jaune: The energy already collected by the magic crystal explodes, destroying everything near it, including the little goblin. FartBuckle saved you guys.

Sun: FARTBUCKLE!!!

[superiorsturgeon]

Nala: (Bumbleby daughter) *lifts her gun* All right, who’s ready for some paintball?

Magna: (Renora daughter) *tightens her straps* Let’s do this!

Jenny: (Frosensteel daughter) *slaps a sticker on her helmet* All ready!

Jamie: (Arkos son) *closes his visor* Lock and load!

Jessie: (Arkos daughter) Hey, before we start, do you guys mind if our mom joins us?

Magna: *takes off her helmet* I’m out.

Nala: *throws down her gun* Me too.

Jenny: *unlacing her armor* Sorry, guys…

Jamie: Oh come on!

Jessie: What’s wrong with our mom joining us?

Jenny: It’s just…well…

Magna: Your mom gets WAY too competitive. It’s scary.

Jessie: You’re exaggerating!

———————————————————

Sun: Ready, Pyrrha?

Neptune: We’ve been practicing!

Pyrrha: I will slit you both from mouth to anus and wear you like a jacket.

Sun/Neptune: *clinging to each other and trembling* 😰

———————————————————

Jamie: …okay, that’s out of context…

Nala: They were playing Pictionary!

[craziechwiv]

Ruby: Hey, you ever wonder how females live longer than males?

Weiss: Oh please, it's because guys are dumb and immature. Everyone knows that.

Ruby: Well...I wouldn't word it like tha-

Jaune: HEY SUN, WANNA SEE WHO CAN EAT THE MOST DETERGENT BEFORE COLLAPSING ?!

Sun: You son of a bitch, I'M IN!

Ruby: ...

Weiss: See?

Ruby: Yea. I bet you 50 bucks Jaune'll win.

Weiss: Hm. Make it 100, and I'll get Neptune to join in.

Ruby: Deal.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Sun: Fifty Lien!

Jaune: Guys-

Neptune: A Hundred lien!

Jaune: I can't- A hundred?

Sun: TWO HUNDRED LIEN!

Jaune: ... Fine.

~~~~~

Jaune: Hey! the Name's Jaune Arc, maybe you've heard of me? Short, Sweet, rolls off the Tongue. Ladies love it. *wink*

Arslan: ... That was a uniquely terrible way of introducing yourself. Why would you do that?

Jaune: I got paid two hundred lien to do so. I was hoping to speak to you anyway, but if I can get some money for introducing myself well - I mean, I'll make a fool of myself if it's funny.

Arslan: ... you were Pyrrha Niko's partner, the one that wore the dress to the dance.

Jaune: Ah, yeah. I was. I still like to think that I am. Uh, even if she's not here in person. It was fun, y'know? It's nice to let yourself do something stupid or silly when you've got time to afford it.

Arslan: Hmm. I'd like to speak more to you when we have the time, but it sounded as if you had actual business to speak of.

Jaune: Oh! Yeah, I did ...

~~~~~

Neptune: Sun.

Sun: I know Neptune.

Neptune: Two hundred lien.

Sun: I know Neptune.

Neptune: And he thanked us.

Sun: Yeah, he did.

Neptune: To be fair, I guess we did get him a girlfriend, and we're giving him money.

Sun: *Sigh* Do you think Blake-

Blake: You dug this hole, now lie in it.

Sun: AH! Oh! How long were you there for?

Blake: The hole time.

Neptune: ... Was that a pun?

Blake: Yep.

[veelilee]

Butch Yang Appreciation Week 2

day 5: one of the boys

[notmaplemable]

Neptune: Who do you think is the hottest dragon ball girl?

Sun: Chi-Chi.

Yang: Why, she's a total buzzkill.

Sun: But still really hot.

Yang: Fair I guess. I'll go with Launch.

Sun: Which one?

Yang: Both.

Jaune: I'll go with Videl.

Yang: YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THAT MAN STEALING WHORE!?

Jaune: ...What?

Ruby: She has a crush on Gohan.

Yang: I DO NOT!

Penny: I like Android 18.

[nliast]

Hanging out with the bois. Not so sure if he is feeling it lmao

[Commission info][Patreon][Ko-Fi][Twitter]

[arc-misadventures]

The Boys

Jaune: …

Coco: Jaune?

Jaune: Yes?

Coco: Do it…

Jaune: …?

Coco: Do it for the boys…

Jaune: …?!

Weiss:

Jaune: For the boys!

Jaune: FOR THE BOYS!

Coco: (Sniff.)

Coco: Now there goes a real man!

SN: …

Neptune: Since when was she one of the boys?

Coco: Since when were you one?

Neptune: OH?!

Sun: Neptune man?! Are you alright?

Neptune: But, I am one of the boys. Right...?

Sun: It's okay man, it's okay. You always were one of the boys.

Sun: No he's not…!

Coco: Ha, knew it~!

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 8

Part 7

Weiss:*concentrating*

Blake:Yooo. Another night, another stream. Where’s she at?

Jaune:Alice in Wonderland. She’s still getting used to the controls.

Blake: Chat should keep count of deaths.

Weiss:Chat, you’ll get timed out. Don’t listen to her.

Blake:Are you at least having fun?

Weiss:Oh definitely! I actually was in a play about Wonderland when I was little. Feels nostalgic.

Sunny Day: “We’re you Tweedle Dee or Dumb?”

Blake:Haha haaaa!

Weiss:Sun stop trying be funny now that Blake is here.

Sunny Day: “I’m always funny.”

Weiss:Wrong.

Ruby:*joins call* How’s our little gamer doing?

Weiss:I wish enemies have health bars.

Ruby:Oh, oh so you don’t know?

Weiss:…What?

Jaune:Remember how you chose a weapon and it affects your stats?

Weiss:Did I cheat myself out of a health bar!?

Ruby:You’ll get it, but you would have it already if you picked the sword. Chat, nobody tell her what level she needs.

Weiss:WHAT!?

xxxxxx

Yang:Sorry I’m late to the-

“DEEP FREEZE!”

Yang watches the Weiss run around enemies blasting blizzard and clearing areas rather proficiently.

Yang:Someone is gaming.

Weiss:Everything changed with this spell.

Yang:I am not surprised.

“Goooo!”

“The spamming begins”

“Literally in her element”

“How she fights in real life”

Jaune:Pfft, Weiss, can you actually shoot ice like this in a fight?

Weiss:Ummm, I don’t see why not.

Ruby:By the end of this game, Weiss is gonna change her entire fight style to be like Sora.

Yang:Honestly that would be a really cool IRL stream! Just a list of abilities that Weiss has to try to do! Weiss! How much money!?

Weiss:*shrugs* I gotta beat the game first.

Ruby:I’m starting a poll in chat.

Blake:For what?

“Who do you think is most worthy of a keyblade?”

Blake:No, don’t do that! I won’t win!

Weiss:This means a lot to you I guess.

Blake:Some people have their dreams of going to Hogwarts; I wanted a keyblade.

Jaune:I wanted to go to Hogwarts.

Lotus Chef: “Just sneak in 👍”

Jaune:Ren!!!!

Yang:Listen, he beat me to it.

Weiss:Ba- *clears throat* Hey how long is every world?

Jaune:Maybe an hour so? Generally speaking.

Weiss:Cool. Maybe we can get two done.

Ruby:Or get stuck on the worst boss in the game.

Weiss:…*looks at Jaune*

Jaune:It’s not the worst boss.

Weiss:*squints*

Jaune:It’s true!!!!

Combat Ready made a prediction poll. Will Weiss beat the boss in 10 or less tries?

Ruby:Oh yeah, betting time! Penny your brain is beautiful!

Weiss:My chat and call are full of enemies.

Sunny Day: “I’m here for you.”

Weiss:Fuck off, Tweedle Dumb.

Blake:Is Neptune Tweedle Dee?

Neptune: *joins call* Neptune has been minding his own business. Sunny Day is acting on his own. *leaves*

Ruby:Leaving your leader like that is crazy work.

Yang:I respect it.

Ruby:Hehe whaaat?

Weiss finally makes it back to the table in the game, spawning Trickmaster.

Weiss:Oh…

Ruby:God, it’s so ugly now. It used to red and black.

Blake:90% voted you’d lose by the way.

Weiss:And just like real life, 10% of people are gonna eat like kings.

xxxxx

5 attempts later, Weiss is staring at the game over screen deeply.

Jaune:…Need a break?

Weiss:I’m just processing.

“You’ll get it in the 11th try”

“Please, I need the points!”

“This is a fucked up boss to have in the beginning.”

“Cheat and use Jaune.”

Weiss:Guys I’m not even mad yet. Also he’s for hints and guiding, not cheating. I beat FFX alone! I can handle this!

Ruby:You’re only level 10, on proud mode. Kinda have to remember that.

Weiss:Yeah…is it cheating if I grind? *hits continue*

Everyone:It’s a JRPG

Weiss:Fair enough. I’ll get a few levels.

Jaune:No more than lvl 14.

Weiss:Oh trust me, I do not plan on being here forever. You guys might have to entertain chat a little bit while I zone out some.

xxxxxxx

Blake:You never did answer who you played as in Wonderland.

Weiss:Cheshire Cat.

Blake:Really!?

Weiss:I was the only one okay with wearing the ears.

Yang:Damn….

Ruby:Are you trying to tell me little kid Weiss was somehow the least racist in her class?

Weiss:Little kid Weiss wasn’t racist.

Cross Hare: “As supposed to grow up Weiss!?”

Weiss:No! I’m not- Velvet we had lunch together today! Look, all I’m going to say is young adolescent Weiss saw a lot of White Fang member incidents and formed opinions…

Blake:That’s fair.

“Sounds suspicious to me.”

Blake:Guys, my parents love Weiss. That might actually be the only approval that matters.

Jaune:Didn’t Weiss amaze all of Menagerie.

Blake:Uuuugghh, why’d you remind meeeeeee.

Weiss:Tell the story.

Blake:Chat? Chat, I love Weiss, but I fucking hate this woman. Historically speaking, she’s a bad cook.

Weiss:“Historically” is insane.

Yang:Blake invited us to Menagerie to meet her parents and take part in what’s essentially an island cookout feast.

Cross Hare: “I REMEMBER THIS DAY!”

Blake:Without telling anyone, Weiss decided she was going to practice cooking this seafood gumbo that’s well known m the island to try and make a good impression.

Ruby:In hindsight, you did invite a Schnee into essentially enemy territory.

Blake:All she had to do was be polite and wave! Instead she asks my own mother if she could use the kitchen and make a traditional cuisine! I was stressed for the first half hour until suddenly…a scent is in the air. Spices. The correct spices. Now there’s an entire community looking around as this petite woman in an apron is swaying to our music and cooking our food.

Yang:I’m going to fucking honest, it’s so easy to forget Weiss is musically trained. Meanwhile Blake has two left feet.

Blake:I could live with that. What I couldn’t live with was when the food- *breathes in mic* When the gumbo was ready, it tasted better than any I ever made. My own mother told me this, and I couldn’t disagree.

Ruby:It was sooooo good!

Blake: Weiss “I had a cake butler” Schnee, showed up to my home island, cooked a dish with my, and danced with my people better than me. She out Faunesed a Faunus and I have sworn I can never let this happen again!!

Weiss:Everyone said bye to me! They were so nice.

Ruby:Weiss I’m letting you know right now if I ever take you back home and I discover you practiced wrangling horses, we are fighting in the dirt.

Yang:You get one time to bake an apple pie for my dad and if it’s better, hands. You don’t see me learning opera.

Weiss:I am an over achiever.

Jaune:Keep in mind, she’s still weak with most dishes.

Weiss:Cooking is hard!

Obtained Ripple Drive

Weiss:Oh, new stuff. *opens menu*

Jaune: *looks*… Weiss? Why isn’t dodge roll equipped?

Weiss:….*covers face*

“Weiss….”

“Girl…..”

“How have you been living?”

“You are throwing!!!!”

Yang:*wheezing* It could be worse. You could’ve beaten the boss first.

Weiss:Alright everyone, back to the boss!

xxxxxx

Attempt number six was practically a joke. She beat the boss in four minutes flat.

Weiss:Are you kidding me!?

Ruby:Shake it off. Now you know to double check. Penny, please pay out the believers.

Ruby:That was half my channel points…

Weiss:YOU BET AGAINST ME!?

Ruby:I hate this boss! I thought it would cause trouble.

Jaune:Imagine if Weiss is better at this game than you?

Ruby:I’d cry.

[stoneillustrations]

RWBY: Roadtrip Status...

RUBY'S VAN:

STATUS: Lead Van (and making good time)! Its gonna be a fun day!

Ruby, Jaune, Sun & Oscar: Singing songs on the radio.

Yatsuhashi: Quietly meditating in the very back and finding inner peace.

FOX'S VAN:

STATUS: Following Ruby's Van

Maria, Weiss, Robyn & Coco: Van about to explode from all the verbal barbs, catty attitude, and backhanded compliments. Omni-omega level of eye rolling.

Fox: Wondering if they will ever get there.

REN'S VAN:

STATUS: Side of the Road (1 mile back)

Blake & Neo: fell out the back while trying to murder each other.

Ren: Trying to calmly diffuse the situation with his words while being completely ignored.

Neptune: Livestreaming the fight and checking his hair.

Mercury: Walking a quarter mile down the road from these lamos to hitch a ride....no one knows he left.

PYRRHA'S VAN:

STATUS: In a ditch & totaled (3 miles back)

Winter & Cinder: Completely rip the roof off and are actively attempting to murder each other in the skys above.

Pyrrha: Trying to calmly diffuse the situation with her words while being completely ignored.

Velvet: Takes picture.

Yang: Watching battle intently through gaping hole in said roof and eating popcorn she randomly found in said van.

NORA'S VAN:

STATUS: M.I.A. - Took a wrong turn (8.5 miles back)

Nora & Ilia: In front seat with upside down map and arguing.

Qrow: Passed out drunk in the very back...snoring loudly.

Emerald: Doomscrolling and only sticking around to giggle and snort when the others realize penny got left some 20+ miles back at a rest stop 7-11

Penny: Still standing patiently outside said rest stop 7-11 some 20+ miles back with a corndog, a large slurpy and comically large sunglasses she found to be totally adorable. 💚

[darksaiyangoku]

RWBY Christmas Tales

Blessing of the Hunt

It was Christmas Eve in the Kingdom of Vale and Jaune, Blake, Sun, Scarlet, Sage and Neptune all gathered around a table inside the Crow Bar tavern. Each of the boys guzzled on a large pint of beer, much to the concern of Blake.

Blake: Jaune, that's the fifth beer you've chugged down. Let me get you some water.

Jaune: Nononono, *giggles* I'm fiiiiiiiiine~

Blake: Jaune, sweetie, you're drunk.

Sage: Ah lay off him! *hic* After being dragged by that Nevermore, he's earned himself a treat!

Scarlet: Barkeep! Another round for my friends! *smashes cup on the floor*

Blake: *shakes head* I don't think so. *carries Jaune* Come on, Jaune.

Jaune: Wha? But we're having fuuuuuunnn!

Blake: You've had quite enough fun here, Mister. Besides, I'm not cleaning up after you again.

Jaune: Don't worrrrrrry, I got it *burp* all under control!

Blake: *groans* Let's just get out of here.

Blake waved goodbye to the SSSN Knights and carried her drunken boyfriend outside. She felt a cold tingle on her nose and looked up to find that it started to snow. She and Jaune trudged along the path to their house, with the snow falling faster and heavier. Soon the air turned biting cold and a low howl rumbled in Blake's ears. Her eyes shrank and her breath became sharp. They needed somewhere to hide. Fast. Blake's eyes darted around the landscape and they fell upon an icy forest. It wasn't perfect, but it should suffice for now. Blake quietly grunted as she trudged along, dragging Jaune. As she continued stepping forward, the howls grew louder and they were followed by the violent galloping of hooves. Blake had no time to think and hurled herself and Jaune behind a nearby tree.

Jaune: B-Blaaaake? Wha-

Blake: *covers Jaune's mouth* Shhhh. We have to be quiet. Otherwise we'll be seen by them.

Jaune: *whispers* W-Who?

Suddenly, a loud bang cracked the air and a pale horse appeared right in front of the couple. It had ghastly, glowing blue eyes and sat atop it was a cloaked man wearing a crow's mask and wielding a sword and chain Slowly, he turned his head and growled.

Wild Hunt Leader: Well, well, well. Looks like some travellers dared to venture into our forests. This place is off limits to mortals, I'm afraid.

Blake: *gulps*L-Listen, o' honourable leader of The Wild Hunt, we were only trying to escape from the snow and-

Wild Hunt Leader: I don't want to hear your excuses, dear. Those who trespass here have to pay the toll; your lives. *points sword* Don't worry, I'll be sure to make it quick.

The Wild Hunt Leader raised his sword to hack at Blake, but Jaune quickly rose up and grabbed the blade, wincing at cuts in his hands.

Jaune: Grrrr! Don'cha *hic* lay a fffffinger on herrrrrrr.

Blake: Jaune, no! What are you doing?!

Wild Hunt Leader: I'd listen to your beloved if I were you. No one has ever dared to fight us and survive. You're completely outclassed.

Jaune: Whooo ssssssaid anyshing abou fightin' ya? *giggles* I gotta bedder idea!

Blake: Oh for the love of- *facepalm*

Jaune: You and I play tugofwar! If we win, we go bye-bye! If you win, you can lemme be a while hunger!

Wild Hunt Leader: *chuckles* I assure you that we are not that desperate for new members, especially the living.

Jaune: Oh come onnnnnn! You chicken? Bawk-bawk-bawk.

Wild Hunt Leader: *laughs* Very well. *gives chain* We'll go three rounds. Good luck.

The Wild Hunt Leader gave one end of the chain to Jaune as he held onto the other and rode far away to other side of the forest. Blake was in complete shock. Jaune was impulsive and reckless, but she never known him to be this stupid. Her blood was boiling with anger and her brow furrowed.

Blake: What the hell were you thinking?! How could you gamble our very lives like this?! You do not stand a chance against him, you know that! Why would you even-

Jaune: *covers Blake's mouth* Shhhhhhhh, I has a plans! Look.

Jaune wrapped the chain around the tree trunk several times, gritting his teeth from the heavy weight.

Jaune: Watch this. *shouts* Ready!

From the distance, the Wild Hunt Leader tugged hard, making the chain rattle. However, it still stood wrapped around the tree. He tried again, but the same thing happened. The Wild Hunt Leader roared and tugged again for a third and final time. But the chain still stood intact. Blake looked at Jaune, who grinned at her.

Jaune: Neat, huh?

The Wild Hunt Leader rode back and found out what happened. He dismounted his horse walked towards Jaune. Jaune backed into the tree and felt his heart race. He was going to die. He knew it. But then something peculiar happend happened. The Wild Hunt Leader took the sword from his belt and placed it Jaune's hands.

Jaune: ....huh?

Wild Hunt Leader: You have bested me, mortal and for that, I congratulate you with this gift.

Jaune: B-B-B-But I cheastesd.

Wild Hunt Leader; No you didn't, you beat me. Battle is not just about strength, it's about wits too. That is what truly keeps you alive. I honour with this gift; the sword Crocea Mors.

Jaune: *smiles* Shank you! *bows clumsily*

Wild Hunt Leader: Farewell, mortals *mounts horse*and Merry Christmas.

The horse gave a booming neigh as the Wild Hunt Leader rode off to join his troops. Blake gave a warm smile and wrapped Jaune in a loving hug.

Blake: *giggles* This is the last time you're drinking, mister. I mean it, no more.

Jaune: Awww, okays. *hugs her*

Blake: *kisses Jaune* Merry Christmas, sweetheart.