#sui ment in tags.

[cloudbends]

finished persona 2 innocent sin. fucking devastating.

[pippynsworld]

[exmotranny]

the green carpet scratches at your pink heels. bile rises in your throat.

they talk about womanhood- but it’s not quite right. there is the pink and compliments and talk of boys

i am a beloved daughter

but there is also something else. it digs at your flesh, it feasts on your skin. your mother motions at your chest, bigger than hers and you're not even done growing yet! how lucky.

of heavenly parents

you pray to a man every night, finish it in another’s name. on your knees. you were sent a shady link as a kid. the woman on her knees, tears streaming out of her eyes, i don't want this, she said

with a divine nature and eternal destiny

blood on the inside of your underwear. you were told this meant you were a woman now. you were ten years old. what the fuck did you know about being a woman? your mom said you weren’t allowed to touch between your legs, but it's normal to want to. you didn't know what that meant, either.

as a disciple of jesus christ,

you wanted to be desired. you daydreamed of being the trophy for boys around you, of claiming that role one day as a wife. you came from a long line of women married young. you don’t know their names, but you were taught about their husbands in church.

i strive to become like him.

pressing your breasts down as much as possible, trying to give the illusion of a flat chest. badly cropped jpgs of jesus photoshopped to have top surgery scars are the secret currency you pay to get past the hours of church. you hold them like diamonds.

i seek and act upon personal revelation

you thought god was talking to you. you almost threw away everything you owned. you thought you were a prophet. total fuckin’ ego death! holy shit! god speaks through me!

and minister to others in his holy name

and then the next morning. when your faith crashed, when moroni abandoned you, did it feel unreal to you too, joseph?

i will stand as a witness of god

oh god, no. please. i don’t know what’s real anymore.

at all times

leg hair peeking from under your pretty sunday dress. they all stare. you ignore them and open up to D&C 132.

and in all things

emma, did you love him to the end? i don’t think you wanted him. did you watch as he married a 14 year old? did you tell him you burned the commandment? did you cry when he died for the church that he loved more than he loved you?

and in all places.

blood on the floor of carthage jail. this martyr will be remembered forever. do they talk about you, emma? or are you just joseph’s wife?

as i strive to qualify for exaltation,

when i marry, my husband will be a god, and i shall cleave onto him. when i marry, i will go to his universe and bear more of his children.

i cherish the gift of repentance

heads bowed low as the sacrament is passed. my hands clutch onto the bottom of my skirt. pleasure outside celestial marriage is forbidden. i apologize for loving the wrong way.

and seek to improve each day

i tried to kill myself, last time i got home from girl’s camp. i got home and cried and found the pills and shoved them into my mouth until i cried more and more until i was gagging. i hunched over the toilet. my hands on the grimy floor.

with faith, i will

forced to sing in front of the congregation. my head spun from anxiety. my stomach turned with nausea.

strengthen my home and family,

loving wife beautiful kids loyal husband church once a week work weekdays weekend mom monthly round on the business end of his cock forever and the vomit threatens to make an appearance.

make and keep sacred covenants,

an old man is in a room alone with me. he asks me if i masturbate.

and receive the ordinances and blessings

i tell the man no. i receive a card so i can be ordained.

of the holy temple.

that's just how it goes, isn't it?

all around are paintings of god and jesus. we learned about heavenly mother. why don’t i see her in paintings? did god have plural marriages? did heavenly mother make us? why don’t we pray to her? did she watch god marry a 14 year old? did she cover her eyes? when she saw blood on her underwear, was she told she was a woman? did she touch between her legs? did she ever believe herself better than god? does she cry when she cant talk to us? why do i cry? was heavenly mother scared of singing in public and did she press her chest flat and did she cry when god forced himself into her mouth? did she burn his doctrine too?

i am given flowers on mother’s day. i will be one eventually, after all. and i vomit in the church bathroom quietly like the perfect woman i am supposed to be.

[porqupyne]

seen a lot of this genre of tfa fuckery so im tossing some on the pile myself

[lavendorii]

suicide is not the natural progression of a poor mental state. self harm is not a necessary byproduct of depression. you dont need to have attempted suicide in order to be valid.

that line of thinking is what encourages self harm. people thinking that the peak of depression is acting on suicidal thoughts is encouraging people to do it so that they can be seen as valid.

your story isn't "less impactful" because you didn't attempt. you arent "less depressed" because you've never hurt yourself. don't let out-of-touch people make you think that your anguish is only acceptable if you destroy yourself, don't let them make you think that you have to hurt yourself to be taken seriously.

suicide is not beautiful. a failed attempt will not make your life better. ending up in the emergency room isn't the catalyst for recovery. you can start over today, you don't have to attempt suicide to say goodbye to the former self. people are still romanticizing suicide to this day and it's extremely detrimental to those susceptible.

[petra-dot-png]

Recent danganronpa stuff I did yippeeee

[sparkvamp]

late new years comic that i rushed in the 5 hours or so. happy new year

[syn4k]

my thing about being trans is that the journey is infinitely more important than the destination. i dont even have a clear transition goal. to me asking about the destination completely defeats the point because i dont CARE what im going for all i care about is that im visibly trans for the people who cant be. i do not want to be quiet about it because silence is what drove my other queer friends to suicide who could not handle the pressure bestowed upon them. do you understand

[antiradqueer]

Prats made a borderline ripoff of kandiqueer (awooqueer) and,, it is vile and horrible, I cant even type it all out because it's disgusting, it supports "minors in kink" and fucking abolishing the age of consent

[pt: vile, abolishing the age of consent /end pt]

it is just a ripoff really, not even borderline, i only saw it today doing the carrd stuff

heres what i wrote for the carrd, its kinda a TL;DR on the label

Awooqueer, code : 🌈🐺🍼

"Biting those who say that they are getting groomed by radqueers"

RQ "Youth lib" centered, ProPara, Pro TransIDs, Pro Transramcoa or Transnazi.

Pro Incest, Pro MIK, Pro the abolition of the age of consent and age of majority, Pro MSM/MMP/CP, Pro "sexual education to being of any age.", Supports relationships between adults and minors, Pro conatct necro and zoo, Proship/Darkship, Pro cannibalism, "Intrage over chronoage", Pro "assisted suicide" and s/h, Anti Recovery, "Anti puritan"

and its very similar counterpart

Werequeer, code : 🌕🐺 / 🌌🐺

RQ "Youth lib", ProPara, Pro TransIDs, Pro Incest, Pro MIK, Pro the abolition of the age of consent and age of majority, Pro MSM/MMP/CP, Pro "sexual education to being of any age.", Pro Incest, Pro conatct necro and zoo, Proship, Pro cannibalism, "Intrage over chronoage", Pro "assisted suicide" and s/h, Anti Recovery, "Anti puritan"

[tittiedshrek]

God, as a person who HAS been hospitalized before for attempting suicide, just seeing James randomly traumadump on his fucking audience to gain sympathy pisses me off to no end. I am not doubting that he has attempted or insinuating that he is lying - that is fucking gross first of all and secondly, I can understand that being the weekly "internet villian of the week" can come with harassment. Perhaps even worse harassment because he is gay and a member of a historically marginalized community. At the same time, it is EQUALLY as gross to use your attempt as a way to garner sympathy when you get called out for problematic behavior. It's manipulative, cheapens the topic, and makes everyone else who has struggled like myself look like selfish attention seekers.

I can understand that someone can feel so guilty/sad about what they have done that they can resort to self-harm, but that is a personal problem that needs to be dealt with OUTSIDE of the internet in therapy. It's not the fault of your audience, Nick, Hbomberguy, Kat, etc. that you ended up in the hospital, and it is irresponsible as a creator to have that be the FIRST thing you talk about in your "apology" video and have that hang over their heads. You can't say that you're not trying to make this into a sob story, then take advantage of your audience's parasocial relationship with you to make them feel bad for being disappointed in you.

I don't want James to die, I really don't. No one deserves to find themselves in such a state of mind, and I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. I do, however, want him to stay off the internet completely until he recognizes the harm he has caused to the LGBTQIA+ community and he gets in a better headspace so that he can actually make amends to everyone he has stolen from and hurt.

[vampiefan3]

he definitely wouldn't post this on main

but he probably would on priv tbh

[can-i-see-your-passport-please]

I THINK I've noticed a pattern, but idk if it's really there, so let's get a bigger sample size

IF YOU REBLOG THIS POST, TAG IT AS "SUICIDE."

[feral-like-a-dog]

Really starting to feel the effects of being asexual

I get so many rape threats daily, i get told to kms, that my life is worth nothing, that im worth nothing as a partner, and thats just from cis men

From queer people im ridiculed for being "childish", get told im an emotionless freak, told that my non-attraction to women is misogynistic, my non-attraction to men is homophobic...

But hey! At least i can stay in the closet and put up with sex to avoid all of that! Aces are soooo privileged :)

[batmanshole]

menstruation: CRAMPS.

follicular phase: im normal now actually

ovulation: i will fuck everyone

luteal phase: i will kill everyone around me and then myself

menstruation: CRAMPS.

follicular phase: normal again sorry

ovulation: the grim reaper was kind of sexy tbh

luteal phase: suicidal again

[capricioussuns]

I guess I shouldn't be surprised the first time I've ever been told to kill myself online was on tiktok but that makes it a lot funnier since they can't use grown up words there this was the comment