#suho x jukyung

[jugyeongim]

i actually found a really nice suho/jugyeong fic on wattpad. check out: https://www.wattpad.com/story/336691520?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=thn__n

[the-void-i-scream-into]

True Beauty Seojun and Sujin Ship Revival Request

Tumblr got banned in my country which is why I stopped using this site but I had to subscribe to a VPN just to get the word out that TRUE BEAUTY IS ON NETFLIX NOW!!! which means that more people are gonna watch it which means more vidders and creatives are gonna see this series.

SOMEBODY PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE SOME NEW SEOJUN AND SUJIN CONTENT. I am dying for some more edits/fics/fanvids of these two. I know this pairing is old now but I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP.

I would kill to see these two work again in some other drama. Sadly this isn’t happening so could somoene please like make another video of Park Yoona and Hwang In Yeop together? Pretty please? It doesn’t even have to be a True Beauty vid. It could just be random clips strung together.

*whispers* it doesn’t even have to be good.

Okay now I gotta go before network provider catches me using my VPN.

Bye!

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty: Kang Sujin character reconstruction

They did out bestie so dirty in this drama, it's time to clean up writer's mess. I don't think Sujin ever deserved such overkill. Turning her into a villain way after the opportunity window closed was so pathetic. Massacring this heroine in such a cliché way calls for serious damage repair, so let's goooo.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer and this is my first fic ever. English is not my first language, sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.♡ the story sounds better in my head but what can we do Thanks @youlookprettywithoutmakeup for sending in a request for Seojun x Sujin content. Also a big thank you to the gifmakers who blessed us all with this inspirational seojun x sujin perfection!

TW: angst, losing friends, mentions of bullying, verbal violence and family abuse

Seojun x Sujin angst

After Sujin moved to the States, the real truth behind that bullying video came out. It was never Sujin's doing, but she left all her friends believe what they wanted. Her life was pretty much crumbling down from the abuse back home and her parents' divorce lawsuit. It felt like the whole world turned its back on her. The final blow was when Seojun accused her of posting that bullying video of Jukyung. Then Jukyung facing her about it, too. Being the only one who's always had her friends' backs, she was hurting more than ever.

- Fine, Seojun, let it be me. Does it even matter? I'm the bad guy. Nobody trusts me. Not even you. I could bend over backwards defending myself for something I never did and it won't change a single thing.

- Something you never did? Get over yourself, Sujin. I know how you feel about Suho.

- Wait, do you seriously think I'd do something as disgusting as that because of a guy?

Seojun smirked hearing those words, shaking his head in disbelief.

- And since when do you think I have feelings for Suho??? Don't you know me?

- Obviously I don't.

They stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sujin's heart was breaking into a million pieces, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Seojun was cruel, even if he didn't mean to be this way. His constant hot and cold behavior towards Sujin confused her, but after he started showing interest in Jukyung, she gave up on him.

-Sujin, I went to Yongpa High, none of those girls knew a thing about the video.

- Wow, congrats! You must be proud of yourself. Trusting Jukyung's bullies... Seriously?! Like you don't know their queen bully is into you.

- Just like you're into Suho. I saw you two hugging.

- You saw that?!

- Yes! I did!

- Then you saw me crying like an idiot too. Great.

- Wait... What?

- I quit the music academy, okay?

- Are you crazy? Why would you do that?

Seojun stood there, his eyes wide in confusion. He couldn't believe his ears. How could she not tell him any of this sooner? After all they've been through. After all those moments she helped him get over their friend's death. Weren't they close enough now, why wouldn't she confide in him?

- You don't know everything, so don't act so smart. Besides, Suho isn't even my type, you pabo. He just saw me crying at the staircase.

- Then explain one thing.

All she could think about was how did she end up in this mess. Now all of a sudden he wants to talk to her? And he's acting all innocent about it.

- I have nothing to say to you, Seojun. Even your lousy accusations can't touch me. If anyone ever did anything bad then it's you chasing a taken girl.

- I wasn-

- Let me know when you stop projecting your problems on others.

- No, you got it all wrong, I don't have feelings for Ju-

- Stop it. I'm tired of this. I don't even care anymore.

He looked at her in silence, heart hurting as well. He couldn't admit his feelings to her like this, not now. He knew he did so many stupid things to catch her attention, but he didn't think it would backfire like this. He also knew something wrong was going on, but her stare was hurting him. He couldn't read her face at all. She looked cold. Serious. He felt like her eyes were literally piercing him.

- I did it. Okay, Seojun? I did all of it. Go spread the word. Oh wait, you did that already.

Frustrated and disappointed, she confirmed the rumors. She didn't want to fight back anymore. It was the first time in her life she considered giving up for a change. Like it mattered, she'd be moving to the States soon. She has already lost everything and everybody she hold dear. This was the last time two of them talked before she left Seoul.

She never told Seojun about her father beating her, she was ashamed of that. She also never told him her father was against her attending the music academy, she was scared that if she ever started talking about it she'd end up telling him everything. Suho was the only one who knew about her family situation, but only because he saw her bruises one time and asked her about it. He promised to keep her secret and she never confined in him again after that. All three of them have been friends since early childhood and she didn't want to do something that might push either of them away.

Sujin was always an artistic soul. She was great at pretty much everything once she set her mind to it. Her singing skills were always advanced, even before she started classes at the music academy. She outperformed almost all of her seniors. No matter the talent, she had to quit singing. Father's orders.

"Singing won't get you to medical school, you're only worth as much as your grades, don't show up home until you come to your senses and quit that idiotic nonsense of yours."

So she quit at the time only to save herself from unnecessary pain. She was done with covering her face full of makeup for school and popping painkillers like candy. It was much easier to quit, at least until her mom got them both out of that mess finally.

Her mom managed to get a divorce eventually. She swore she'd take care of her daughter properly this time, so winning the lawsuit against Sujin's father played a crucial role this time. And she won, which left her with their huge family mansion worth billions of dollars. Sujin's father got a restraining order from court, and after the lawsuit they never heard from him again. Her mom sold everything and they both moved to the States, where Sujin enrolled in music academy once more. Their life was pretty much comfortable, but they've always stayed humble.

Sujin knew she had to go back to visit her friends at Seoul at some point, especially since she was getting so many texts and calls from her two ex besties ever since she left. News on what actually happened and who was behind the video incident spread like fire and cleared all guilt off Sujin. Yet she couldn't get over the fact that all of her friends judged her so quickly. Sooah disappointed her a lot, she never backed her up, not even once. While Jukyung surprised her more than anyone. She was the only one who never believed Sujin did anything wrong, not even when Sujin directly told her it is her doing.

Even though she wanted to spend hours on the phone with Jukyung, and let her know about everything what happened, cutting everyone off seemed rational for the time being. Everything was still too painful for her and she needed more time to heal from the chaos. Falling into unhealthy patterns was no longer an option. Sujin's habits have changed drastically ever since she moved to the States. Volunteering as a math tutor and martial arts teacher was all she did when she wasn't studying. Her taekwondo classes took place in the early mornings, and math classes in the evenings. Slowly, it got her thoughts back in order.

It wasn't until Seojun texted her a whole month after moving that she felt that pit in her stomach again.

Seojun: I'm sorryx Sujong I shoudlvew known

- What's with this pabo? Ah, he's drunk again.

Sujin: Hey Seojun, I hope you're good. I know you've sent me that txt accidentally. Stay well and take care. Don't drink and ride that Ninja of yours, ok?

A few days passed until he finally responded back.

Seojun: Where r u, I need 2cu. Sujin: I'm out of the country, actually. Let's catch up over a video call one of these days, ok? Seojun: Naah, txt me whn u get back :P

She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to hear his voice. She needed him to be there for her, just like she used to be there for him long ago. If going back there was ever an option, she needed to get better fist, on her own. Thoughts of being back in the city where it all went downhill made her extremely uncomfortable. Besides, her feelings for Seojun confused her, it was too much all at once. This time, she decided to let him go for good. Maybe next time their paths cross, things turn out different.

[seojunandsoju]

Han Seojun as your boyfriend

Dating Han Seojun would include:

Being mostly only caring towards you

A LOT of hugs and clingy stuff even though he doesn’t look like the type to

HE'S SO KIND AN CARING!!!!! Would care a lot about what your friends think of him. He would be silent most of the time if you'd be talking to your friends cause he feels like he'll interupt something

would make an effort though^^^^^^

Cute walks at midnight together

him stealing your food

also him being jealous 24/7

he'd hate it when guys (or girls) would get close to you but he'd prefer to talk to you about it instead of getting all overprotective

^that being said he would let you go to the mall with your male friend but you'll probably find him somewhere in the mall claiming he's getting something for his sister......

he's so whipped for you :((((((

he will be giving you forehead kisses every minute of the day

He isn't reaaaalllllyy into PDA but he also kind is ??? it depends on the day and his mood

when your alone thoughhhhhhhhhh

a lot of neck kisses and long make out sessions

if you'd sleep togheter (innocent way) you'd be spooning with him being big spoon because he feels the need to protect you 24/7

This man would drop EVERYTHING for you. If you'd call him while crying he would find you location in seconds en take you home on his bike

He would take a longer route just so that u could calm down a bit ^

He was so shy when he confessed his love to you

He was stalking your bestfriend for days and kept asking her if she knew your favorite chocolate and what your favorite type of flower was

Once he finally found out he made you a love letter and put it in your locker

He would tell you to meet him at han river at midnight

When he asked you to be his and you answered with yes he was over the moooooooon

He keeps following you like a lovesick puppy cause this is his first relationship where he actually really liked the girl

Your so special to him it's sick

He would let you sit on his lap while he was busy writing music

9/10 times he's making a love song for you that's how inlove he is

His mother and sister would love you so much

You would stay up hours and hours with Gowoon putting on each others make up and styling each other

You'd be making fun of Seojun togheter

Late night convience store dates

He is good with his Hands and tongue btw

He would take you everwhere on his bike

He would be so mad at you if you ever got into a fight

But he would kinda be proud that u won though

When he was in the hospital he would be mad at u for "wasting your time" by staying with him until he could get out

Also your the only reason he made up with Suho

Since your friends with Suho

BEFORE he made up with him however, He would get so angry whenever you were hanging out with Suho

Suho knew that Seojun liked you since it's been like that since before their friend passed away

And since Suho himself felt kinda petty, There would be a lot of times when he would just straight up flirt with you. Making Seojun mad and jealous while the rumors would spread about you and Suho possible dating.... making a certain long haired girl from the same class as you jealous

[lovesickheize]

i miss the time true beauty was ongoing.

i remember it so vividly. by the time i started watching it the 6th ep was out & i only started it because i needed an escape. i wasn't a regular kdrama watcher back then. i was at a really bad place mentally and i needed something to keep me busy from overthinking, since i couldn't bring myself up to study or go out. so i decided to start watching it and it became my comfort drama. ive watched it 3 times in total, one back in january of 2021, one during the 2021-2022 school year when i needed comfort and i'm rewatching it now, during my last year of high school for comfort.

i just remember everything so vividly. i remember the fandom going crazy abt being team seojun or team suho, i remember slandering jukyung for choosing suho over seojun, i remember being head over heels for seojun and crying so hard not just because of the drama, but also because it was ending. i haven't cried this bad over anything. true beauty coming to an end was the most painful thing i have experienced and it was the first ever time i cried over a show/movie/drama.

i miss those days, i miss han seojun, i miss the time when the fandom was alive and i miss true beauty.

[tearsona]

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part nine

a/n: omg long a/n but first of all, this is waaaay overdue. i know i’ve already probably lost more than half of my readers but this is for the remaining few (and me) who would like to know how the story ends!! i’m going tbh, i procrastinated writing this for way too long (i’ve been enjoying my break too much), and the worst also happened, i was working on this but the whole thing got deleted so this is my second time writing the whole thing rip :[

anyway i decided this last minute but as it turns out, there will be a part 10, more like a second part to part 9 / epilogue, bc the rest was supposed to be included in here buuuut i’m going to be away for the rest of the week and won’t be able to continue writing the rest of the scenes so the only time to post is now, since i know ppl have been waiting too long for an update and i didn’t want to keep that any longer (i know id only be stressing over it the whole week if i did jsdkf). so this one and the next part are going to be super duper short but i promise to work on the last as soon as i get back ok!! it won’t take another month!!! lol.

part one | part eight

this is the right thing to do, you think.

no, you’re certain. you’re going to talk to him.

you’re going to confess to seojun tonight. soon. in a few minutes. in a few steps ahead, to the left…

your hands start to get clammy in your pockets. you feel the weight of dread on your feet, like lead.

because even though you’re sure this is the best decision, it doesn’t mean that you’re coming home with a smile on your face afterwards. in a few months, perhaps you’ll thank yourself for having done the right thing, but tonight, it’s not going to feel like so. tonight, you’re going to get your heart broken. even more than it’s already been.

after all, you’re here to get rejected… and only then you’ll be able to move on - when you’re finally rid of the what if that’s been nagging at you for so long. because you realized it wasn’t jealousy or the wanting reciprocation that made your one-sided love so frustrating, it was mainly the suppression, the constant urge to spit it out knowing you couldn’t, that had built up through time and eventually pushed you to make such mistake. after all, feelings are like the weather - sometimes calm, sometimes wild, intense. unpredictable. what happens when you try to force them still and locked in the cramped space of your heart for too long?

at most, you think you can handle the rejection. but going through a conversation that would finally cement the end of your friendship, hearing seojun tell you how much he hates you, that you’re a terrible person, or anything along those lines - will you be able to bear it?

because isn’t that what he’d asked to meet you for? to express his anger towards you? to get closure? especially since it’s been a month without talking - you know that that much time apart allows a lot of space for anything, like regrets, breakdowns, and kissing other people… or seojun finally realizing that he deserves better than you.

but there’s no running away though, because you’ve already agreed to meet with him, and you owe him to at least show up after having practically ghosted him. you’re doing it, but also not just because you need to - you’d be lying if you said that there wasn’t even a tiny bit in you that’s looking forward to talk to him, not a selfish part that’s silently hoping for the zero chance that the boy would be willing to put all of this behind for a chance to restart.

when you reach the place, seojun is already there like he said, but he fails to hear your footsteps over his thoughts. you pause at a distance, allowing yourself a while to stare at him and a bittersweet smile tugs at your lips as you do so. you try to let it sink in - seojun waiting for you here… you and him, sharing the same space, un-against your will, not actively avoiding each other like it hasn’t been for the longest time. you wish you could have a longer moment where you can pretend that the past few weeks never happened at all and, right now, you’re just two best friends casually meeting up on a friday night.

you swallow the lump in your throat when the moment is over.

but before you can even gather the courage to make another step, seojun finally takes notice of your presence. when your eyes meet, you see the mild surprise that flits across his face before he’s pushing himself off the bench almost abruptly. he wonders how long you’ve been standing there.

you lumber towards his spot.

“hey,” you greet faintly once you’ve stopped in front of him. “you wanted to talk…”

the tension that immediately fills the air is thick, just a slight bit nauseating. you look up at him apprehensively and brace yourself for it - it’s only a matter of seconds before the harsh words come out of his mouth. before he confirms all of your expectations.

but it doesn’t come.

suddenly, instead, you feel yourself getting tugged by the arm until seojun is engulfing your smaller frame in his, and immediately your body goes stiff. ultimately, his scent washes over you like a wave, permeating all of your senses and clouding your brain. you almost blurt out an i love you right there, under the influence of his cologne alone.

when your brain has somewhat unscrambled itself, you finally lift your hand to rest on his back in an awkward attempt to reciprocate, causing him to tighten his embrace. he moves one of his hands to cradle the back of your head - an innocent gesture that has your mind spinning. you can feel his heart hammering against both your chests but it’s easy to mistake it as your own when it’s doing the same; in fact, you almost fail to catch his next words over the roaring of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“i miss you,” he mutters; the deepness of his voice and the way his throat vibrates against your shoulder send shivers down your spine. however, you try to focus more on his words - you debate whether you’ve heard it wrong or not as you can hardly believe it; this is obviously the opposite of what you’d been expecting this whole time, and even different from what you’d been used to - hugs were a rarity in your friendship. as well as i miss you’s.

seojun. misses. you.

your eyes sting but you will yourself to hold back. because you’d been so in denial, you never realized just how much you’d been waiting to hear those words during the past month. you’d convinced yourself that you were thankful he’d never called you once in your time apart because it made your situation easier, but deep down it hurt that he wasn’t even trying.

you immediately miss the warmth when he pulls away.

“y/n,” seojun breathes, looking at you with eyes so apologetic you almost feel pity. it takes a few more seconds before he speaks again. “i’m sorry… i realized i was such a terrible friend to you. i—”

“i’m sorry i made you feel like you were a terrible friend,” you immediately cut off, much to his surprise. you couldn’t stand to listen to him apologize when you believe with your whole chest that everything has been your fault. but just like you, this isn’t what seojun had seen coming from the other. truthfully, he’d expected you to be unforgiving, mad like you had been that night. instead, you add, “you’d done nothing wrong…”

you walk past him to take a seat on the bench that he was previously sitting on and he follows. silence lingers in the air for a few moments, both eyes now settled in front rather than the other beside. there’s so much to say that you don’t know where to begin, but you don’t feel the pressure or rush to do so. in fact, you feel a sense of familiar comfort just from sitting next to each other, despite there still being a bunch of words to be said.

words that could still possibly ruin the hopes of rekindling your friendship, you think.

“i didn’t know what you were going through…” seojun says, breaking your train of thought, “i could’ve helped you get the job… i should’ve paid more attention or asked how you were. i get why you were so disappointed. i’m sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s not your fault,” you say earnestly. seojun turns to you but you have your eyes pinned to the ground, feeling the guilt in your chest rise further the more he blames himself. it seems you’d caused him to believe that he wasn’t a good enough friend and you hate yourself for that. maybe you’d rather him be mad at you than sorry after all. you’d left your friendship thinking it would be for the better, managed to convince yourself that you were only putting yourself first as you should, but in reality, you’d handled things so cowardly that it only ended up hurting the both of you.

“how were you supposed to know about it when i never shared anything? you’re not a mind reader, seojun. don’t beat yourself up over it… i mean it,” you say, turning to him with a look of sincerity, “i was going through a lot then, but it was wrong to take it out on you. you were a great friend though. i promise.”

seojun presses his lips together in a line, feeling his heart swell at your words. “still,” he insists, “i could’ve been better, i know it. and i was insensitive with the things i said. i hurt your feelings. but i didn’t mean them that way - i didn’t mean to imply you were unlikable. or unattractive. at all. i… i don’t think you are. i want you to know that.”

you wish the butterflies in your stomach would stop fluttering at such an inappropriate time. over the bare minimum too. and so what if seojun just said that he didn’t think you were unattractive? it doesn’t mean anything. wait ‘til you get rejected later.

“i got defensive, i didn’t understand why at that time, i don’t want to make excuses but… i guess i just didn’t want to entertain the thought of—” seojun swallows, eyes previously settled below lifting to meet yours again with somewhat a hopeful look, “—suho liking you.”

you frown at his last words in particular, feeling just a bit embarrassed over it while failing to get what he was trying to hint at. you really hadn’t meant to make suho a big deal that night, you’d merely been trying to get your point across at that time, but it could have been anyone. and after what had occurred between you and the other boy, hearing the words suho and liking and you altogether in one sentence just felt awkward.

“okay,” you reply quietly. but seojun doesn’t think you really understood it the way he’d meant it; he wants to tell you, that the reason why he didn’t like the idea of suho liking you isn’t the one that he knows you’re thinking - just the obvious that he carries a lot of bitter feelings towards the boy - but another. however, even at this time where he’s supposed to be honest about everything he feels concerning your friendship, even at this perfect opportunity, he still can’t seem to have the guts to tell you the words that his heart wants to say the most. mainly because he just realized that he has no idea how things currently are between you and suho, and confessing might just end up making things more complicated. he wrestles with the thought.

seojun immediately thinks about the kiss, and it feels as though someone’s fist had clenched around his heart - it happens every time. but it only gets worse upon hearing your next words: “it’s okay, you know, even if you really didn’t. see me that way, i mean. friends aren’t supposed to anyway.”

“right,” he mutters, disappointment evident in the way he drops his gaze to his lap from yours. it’s as if the wind had blown the words straight back down from the tip of his tongue to his chest, because he no longer feels like saying it, at all. in fact, he’ll bury it there if he must, if it meant he could at least go back to being friends with you again. just like he’s done in the past.

“i broke that rule though,” you say after the dragged silence, as calmly as you can, as if your stomach isn’t currently twisting in knots over what you’re about to say next. “seojun, i got mad at you because… i liked you.”

as you expected, seojun’s head snaps up over the admission. you begin to feel even more self-conscious now that you’re under his gaze, but you will yourself not to let your nerves get the best of you and continue what you’ve started. “i liked you and i got… jealous because you kept talking about the girl you liked right in front of my face, and it was just… i was already having a bad week - bad night, and one thing kept piling into another… the makeup, the job, and then just… i couldn’t take it anymore, when you talked about suho only seeing me as a friend, i knew you said that because that was how you saw me… and it just hit, i guess.”

when you finish, you find that seojun’s lips are parted slightly, eyes wide and blinking like he’s unable to fathom what you’d just said. twice, he opens his mouth to say something just to swallow it back down. it seems that he’s hesitating over his words, or having trouble finding them. eventually though, he manages to let out, “you liked me?”

you bite your lip and hum, “i like you. present tense,” you say slowly, enunciating every syllable whilst keeping your eyes fixated on him for the reaction. he looks stunned still, and though his expression says a lot, the lack of verbal response still keeps whatever’s actually going on in his mind unclear. you feel flustered and drop your gaze to your fidgeting hands at once.

your heart doesn’t stop pounding as though it wants to break out of your ribcage but you manage to say the next words without your voice shaking so much. “when they asked you to pick between love and friendship during that trip, i think that’s when it started going bad. before then, i’d thought i had a firm grip on my feelings. i mean, even through all the people you’ve dated i was fine,” you sigh, closing your eyes for a second longer, “i didn’t just start ignoring you because i was mad at you. i just thought it would be better if… if we weren’t friends. even though i ended up being wrong anyway.”

at this point, you can’t bring yourself to look at him anymore so you don’t, but as you’re waiting for him to say something, anything, you can’t help but be highly aware of his eyes boring into your cheek and it makes you ill at ease. you mentally shudder at the fact that you’d just overshared, but you’re not sure if you regret it completely. still, it takes him an agonizing minute before he responds that you almost lose your mind.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he prompts; you attempt to interpret the color in his tone but can’t, thankfully when you look at him he doesn’t seem to be judging you. instead, his eyes remain intense but gentle, and you allow yourself to relax just a little bit at that.

“for the same reason why most people can’t tell their crushes they like them. i’m sure you know what it’s like,” you chuckle sheepishly. somehow, calling seojun a crush is even more embarrassing than all of what you’d said so far before it combined. “i’m not that bold, you know. and i didn’t to want make you uncomfortable just ‘cause you couldn’t like me the way i did, and risk our friendship changing,” you explain truthfully, “but i guess i still ended up ruining it anyway, i still couldn’t bring myself to tell you in the end and just… ran away from it, sorry.”

seojun nods, but now the expression on his face has changed into something more unreadable, and you hate every second that ticks by knowing that he’s probably feeling guilty, perhaps trying to come up with words to let you down without hurting you. what he doesn’t know though is that you’ve already prepared yourself for it; you’ve already imagined every horrible scene that could possibly roll out while on your way here, and the fact that he hasn’t called you mean things or yelled at your face even once means this is already the best scenario out of them all, meaning you’ll be alright. with that, you amend, “i don’t want you to feel bad for me. i’m just doing this so you can reject me and i can move on.”

you swear that was a smile on his face just now. unfortunately, it disappeared quicker than you could make sure.

“what if i don’t want you to move on though?” seojun asks with a playful edge in his tone, elbow lightly nudging your side but it doesn’t touch because you’re a little bit too far apart. further, he prods, “what if i want you to keep liking me?”

you stare at him incredulously, trying to decipher him. it seems that he’s finally changing back to his more confident self - to the best friend you knew. perhaps he’s trying to alleviate the tense atmosphere into something more cheerful, make you feel less embarrassed; or maybe joking is his attempt at reassuring you that things can still be friendly between you two despite how you feel about him; and you appreciate that - you’re more than relieved to know that he’s fine with all of this - but you wonder if teasing you is the best response he can do to your confession; if he’s avoiding rejecting you because he can’t.

you try to hide your disappointment by huffing out a laugh, “you’re cruel like that?”

“hmm, well…” he muses, “earlier you said you couldn’t tell me your feelings sooner because you didn’t want to make me uncomfortable but…” he pauses, and you watch him dubiously as he slides himself closer until your arms are touching, “what if i liked you back? did you not ever consider that?”

you frown. all of a sudden he’s flirting with you. you would think he’s asking you these questions because he’s genuinely curious, but the restrained smile ghosting his features, like he knows something you don’t, makes you think that he’s simply finding this whole thing funny - of course, you, out of people, having feelings for him must be such a plot twist - and here he is, taking delight in his ability to disarm you. what makes it worse is that even as you’re aware, even if you should be feeling offended by what he’s doing for his own amusement, your heart doesn’t follow - seojun’s flirtatious, hypothetical prodding seems to be taking its intended effect on you.

“well, you didn’t,” is eventually all you reply, fully intending to sound as harsh as you could, and then looking away. “stop.”

“stop what?”

“do you think this is a joke?” you snap as you glower at him, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. whether you’re blushing over the hypothetical, impossible possibility of seojun liking you - or if it’s due to your irritation, you don’t know. “stop… playing me.”

he’s silent. after a moment, you give in to the urge to take a peek at him and immediately regret it. because now he’s full-blown smiling, and you haven’t seen him do it in so long it somehow takes the breath out of your lungs. you blink, thoroughly dazed for a protracted moment. “w- what?”

“i said, give me your hand,” he repeats, and as if hypnotized, you obey without question. when he places it against his chest you feel it, the rapid beat of his heart, and it’s just like yours. your frown falters by a tiny fraction. “well?”

“well what?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“it’s been like this since you said you liked me,” he urges. and then, he says the next words to you as you had done earlier - slowly, and clearly, “i like you, y/n. i was being serious.”

you gulp and withdraw your hand from his, suddenly unable to make eye contact. “how? i thought you…” you trail off. liked jugyeong, you wanted to say.

“i know, i haven’t been completely honest with my feelings either,” he admits, “but i’ve liked you for a long time. even before all of the people i’ve dated… and through all of them,” he says, and it sounds too good to be true; seojun catches the flicker of doubt in your face even as you want so badly to believe him. “i guess i just didn’t know i did until… well, i mean, i kind of already knew it long ago, but… it’s a bit complicated.” you can tell he’s struggling to put his feelings into words by the way he sighs. and then, as if struck with an idea, he perks up, “let me prove it to you.”

you bite the inside of your cheek and try not to seem too eager when you stare at him.

“go out with me,” he says with a gentle but nervous smile, lightly tugging at the cuff of your hoodie like a kind child, before he adds, “let’s go on dates, y/n… as a guy and girl.”

you think your heart stops beating for a millisecond; you feel the familiar flutters through your stomach, only now wilder than ever. seojun looks solemn enough with his suggestion, but you realize you haven’t even thought that far yet - to be honest, you’ve still yet to process the fact that he doesn’t hate you, after all that’s happened.

there’s so much to think about, so many things to consider, but you don’t let any of that hold you back from the thing you’ve always wanted - longed for. after a thoughtful moment, you nod, and seojun’s previously tense face immediately breaks out into a grin.

“okay…” he breathes.

“okay,” you repeat, biting back a smile.

and then silence comes; you look away, shy. it seems to have hit you both at the same time - that you’d just agreed to go on dates with each other. apart from the earliest days of your friendship, you don’t think you’ve ever seen seojun look so shy in front of you. you feel a sudden thrill of excitement knowing that it’s because of you. you make him nervous. because he likes you, apparently. and now suddenly, everything feels odd… but the good kind.

later into the comfortable quietness, seojun clears his throat and breaks you out of your reverie. “hey, about that thing you said…” he starts and you quirk a brow in curiosity. “when i picked love over friendship, you should’ve known i was only trying to get on suho’s nerves,” he jokingly admits, earning a chuckle and an eyeroll from you.

“both are equally important to me though,” he continues, pausing for a thoughtful second, “but… you’re the most important to me, you know. and if i did mean it - if i had to choose, like, i really had to… whatever i end up picking, love over friendship or the other way around - it doesn’t matter. i can’t explain it, but i’d choose you over both of them. or whichever you are.”

that was… unexpected. you huff, tilting your head so your hair can fall and provide your reddening cheeks with some measure of a cover. you nudge his arm and say, “must you be so cheesy?”

when you think about it though, it makes sense. you’re not quite sure how, but to you, seojun, too, had always been more than just a best friend, and not merely because you had feelings for him - ‘friend’ had always felt too small of a label when you think about the bond you share with this person. you have a lot of friends, and none of them could ever compare, or is as special to you as seojun and suho are, who have been with you through thick and thin. seojun was your number one, your first choice, your go-to; he was the exception to a lot of things - maybe soulmate would be the closest term to call it, if it were real.

seojun laughs, reaching over swiftly but somehow hesitantly, to sweep your hair back behind your shoulder - another innocent gesture that wreaks havoc with the rhythm of your heartbeat - leaving the spot on your cheek his fingers had grazed tingling. you swear you could kiss him right now.

and it’s like he’s thinking the same thing. slowly, his smile fades, gaze still holding yours; the silence shifts, deepens, and when his eyes flicker down to your lips and he inches closer ever-so-slightly, you realize there’s nothing like this - like the anticipation of kissing someone you really like. it’s a new kind of butterflies you feel. a different kind of thrill. 

but before he can actually lean in closer, you feel it - first on your eyelashes, and then your cheek. you look away, much to the other’s disappointment, and extend your hand into the air, feeling the droplets of water on the palm of your hand.

“it’s drizzling,” you point out, turning to face him. but seojun’s eyes never left your face. you stand up as soon as you feel more raindrops come, pulling your hoodie over your head before reaching out to take ahold of his wrist. “let’s go.”

you drag him to the nearest cover, running towards the convenience store not too far from the place. finally, you’re in front of the entrance under its roof, narrowly missing the rain that had just started pouring louder and heavier.

“that was close,” he mutters.

“yeah,” you sigh in relief, nodding towards the store, “let’s go buy an umbrella and walk home?”

a thoughtful pause. seojun has another thing in mind.

“or,” he smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i’ll race you,” he suggests, so coolly that it didn’t register quick enough that he was actually challenging you. one moment he’s there to see the confusion flashing across your face, but by the time realization dawns, he’d already taken off, giggling several feet away from you. 

“wha—hey!”

[veannwrites]

I love you hater|han seojun x kang soojin| true beauty

Part 1

Hi guys this is my first time writing a han seojun x soojin fanfic.. well stay tunedd<3

Starring cast:

Han seojun

Kang soojin

Lim jukyung

Lee suho

And other true beauty cast.

[girlsdit]

like or reblog

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

Invisible (A True Beauty Fanfic) 하나 [Hana] {One}

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Authors Note: I love Seo Jun and just want him to have his happy ending. I’m prefacing this by saying that I haven’t read the webtoon and I’m basing this fanfiction and any future fics I write on the drama. Also, I need more Seo Jun fics in my life so here I am writing my own.

Authors Note 2: I hated the last 2 episodes, apart from the happy ending everything else was rushed and a mess. This is AU because Su Ho and Ju Kyung didn’t break up and are now in a long-distance relationship. This takes place after Su Ho and Soo Jin have left the school.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Wordcount: 1075 (I wanted to write less than 1k but I am clearly incapable of writing short things unless it's for uni 😭😂.)

This is probably a mess, but I hope someone likes it. Comments and reblogs with reactions are appreciated. 😂

OC Profiles. True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 1:

Being asked to go and see Han Ssaem wasn’t new. Since Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin had left Saebom, you were Han Ssaem’s go-to person in terms of figuring out the mood of the class.

It didn’t make sense to you, most people in class 2-5 didn’t even know you existed or that you were in Class 2-5 and had been with these same people since the beginning of High School.

This is probably why Han Ssaem thought you were the perfect person to ask about the inner workings of the class, you were there but never took part in the madness that was being in Class 2-5.

Making sure there weren’t issues in his class became a priority after the reveal of Lim Ju Kyung’s make up less face, Han Ssaem never wanted any student of his to feel like they couldn’t come to him or for someone to suffer silently.

Reaching the Teacher’s Room and going to Han Ssaem’s desk, you were surprised to see Han Seo Jun standing there. You stand next to Han Seo Jun and wait for Han Ssaem to reveal why you’re here and why Han Seo Jun is there too. He smiles brightly at you and Han Seo Jun, you just nod politely while Han Seo Jun looks bored and his regular resting bitch face was kind of scaring you, he was one person you didn’t want to anger, and he clearly didn’t want to be there.

“Well, Seo Jun, the reason you are here is that your grades have been dropping a bit and I believe a little bit of help will do you good” Said Han Ssaem to Han Seo Jun before he turned to me.

“That is why you’re here YN, I would like you to tutor Seo Jun in most subjects until the end of the year,” He said to you smiling, you were shocked.

You didn’t know what to say, this was not what you thought Han Ssaem wanted when he told you to meet him at the end of the day. Your mind was whirling with all the ways this could end in a disaster.

Once it’s sunk in for him, Han Seo Jun just shakes his head and glares at Han Ssaem, well there’s his answer. Maybe if he was so against this, then you’d be able to get out of it too, this was probably the only time where Han Seo Jun’s reputation comes in handy.

Unfortunately, you thought too soon because the Vice Principal had come out to see Han Seo Jun glaring at Han Ssaem. Had declared that Han Seo Jun would be tutored if he wanted to be able to graduate, without being held back a year. If he still didn’t want to be tutored, then he was happy to expel Han Seo Jun.

Han Ssaem laughed awkwardly at what the Vice Principal said but still looked at Han Seo Jun hopefully and quite reluctantly Han Seo Jun nodded his head and just walked out of the room. Han Ssaem looked at you, motioning at you to follow Han Seo Jun, you stare blankly at Han Ssaem before sighing and walk quickly outside to catch up with him.

“Yah Han Seo Jun, I don’t want this any more than you do but just work with me please” You shout at Han Seo Jun from one end of the corridor. He turns and glares at you, shakes his head and just carries on walking.

Great, now you were going to have to figure out a way to get Han Seo Jun to co-operate with you. This was not going well, and you doubted it would even once the tutoring started. Sighing you started making your way to the classroom where you’d left your bag.

Once you get to the class you see Lim Ju Kyung still there writing something in her notebook. Ju Kyung looks up at you, smiles at you then carries on writing. Lim Ju Kyung was probably the nicest person in the class and once you’d picked up your things you went to Jukyung’s desk and tapped her shoulder.

She looked up at you and took her headphones out of her ears smiling at you and starts to pack up her things.

“Hi YN, are you okay? Normally you’ve left school by now”. You smile at her, waiting for her to finish packing up her bag and start to walk with her out of the classroom.

“Yep, Han Ssaem wanted to tell me and Han Seo Jun that I’m tutoring him, only for Han Seo Jun to disagree and the Vice Principal to threaten him, he just walked out and proceeded to ignore me when I tried to work with him,” You told Ju Kyung as you walked, Ju Kyung linked arms with you and nodded her head before sighing when she heard at Han Seo Jun’s reaction.

“You know, Han Seo Jun is one of my best friends. I can tell him to co-operate with you and if that doesn’t work then I’ll tell his mother and we’ll get him to not only co-operate and even be nice to you” Ju Kyung said as you got to the bus stop by the school and sat on the bench to wait for your bus.

You smile at Ju Kyung, she really was the sweetest person, you often wondered how she and Han Seo Jun ended up becoming best friends especially when her boyfriend Lee Su Ho was enemies with Han Seo Jun at least they had been until Lee Su Ho left for America and they had apparently buried the hatchet.

It wasn’t weird to Han Seo Jun and Ju Kyung comparing the things that Lee Su Ho had sent them from America. This generally consisted of Han Seo Jun complaining about how Lee Suho sent Ju Kyung better gifts because she was his girlfriend, and he was so whipped for her that he sent his best friend random rubbish that he didn’t even need.

Just as you are about to reply, you see your bus coming so you start to search for your bus pass and stand up to get the bus. As it comes you turn to Ju Kyung.

“Thanks for the offer Ju Kyung, I would really appreciate it if you could convince him, he doesn’t even have to be nice about it, I can figure out a way to deal with that,” You tell her as you go to get on the bus, once you’ve found a window seat you wave at Ju Kyung who waves back and shows you her phone, indicating that she will message you. You smile and nod your head at her.

CHAPTER 2

[prbni]

Now We are Breaking Up

Love. It was an easy and simple emotion. The guy that saved me from jumping off, the guy that didn’t judge me for my outer appearance, the guy that took care of me and protected me every now and then- I gave my first love to him. 

We even went to the same class in high school, some of our shared interests, like reading horror comics, were the same. It was perfect, just the two of us. And he loved me back! Talk about a fairytale! But only, life isn’t a fairytale.

You can decide who you want to be with but you cannot decide who your heart chooses to be with. My heart didn’t choose this fated guy, but the guy that lived next to my house. The guy whose bike keys I had stolen. The guy who ALSO was in the same class in high school with me. He wasn’t my first love, yet he still decided to flutter my heart. He wasn’t my first kiss, because he knew I was in love with his best friend. He held himself back several times thinking it would go unnoticed by me. He wasn’t the first to see my bare face, but he didn’t care how I looked without makeup either. For him, I was just me. But we were friends! Just friends! We were friends even when he confessed his feelings for me. We were friends even when he said he will move on. We were friends because...I was chasing my first love the whole time.

My first love had a break of two years, but then after a series of apologies and forgiveness, we were back. But why didn’t it feel the same anymore? For the past two years, I missed him. Yet, I didn’t feel the way I felt when my FRIEND left for his own path. Well, it happens. Friends do part after high school and I had all the best wishes for him and his career. Then why did it feel like a part of my soul was gone? Why just for a friend? It was nothing. I kept telling myself that. I was just too used to him being around. I’d get over this phase. I’d grow out of the habit. I had my boyfriend, my own star-crossed lover by my side. He helped me grow as a person, I helped him come out of his shell. We shared both good and bad days together. So, it was fine. I was fine. Except, he noticed it too. He didn’t say anything at first but he saw it. I was ruining this! I had to get a hold of myself. To worsen things, I slipped the wrong name while drunk.

One day, he said teary-eyed, “Jukyung-ah, I’d asked him to give up on you because I liked you first. Did you know what he said?”

I nodded. “He said that it wasn’t about me or him. That your feelings were important. But your feelings are for him, not me!”

“Suho-”I tried protesting but he stopped me. “I know we can pretend that this conversation never happened.We can go on like we have always been. But it would be just you feeling guilty and me feeling insecured the whole time. And this is when he doesn’t even hang around us anymore!”

“Suho, I’m so so sorry. I’d try to do better-”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, Im Jukyung. You did well. You did your best. But it is true that your feelings have changed. I know. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen how you try your best to look happy, how your face only lights up when his name is mentioned. I’ve seen how you look at his face when he comes up on screen. I know THAT LOOK too well. Because that’s the way you used to look at me once.”

“Lee Suho, do we really have to do this? You can be mad at me for as long as you want-”

“Except I’m not mad at you. I just kept denying the reality for a long time.Trust me when I say it is extremely hard for me to let go of you.”

“Then don’t.” I kept pleading. “I gave you a chance as well, why can’t I get a chance,” my voice hoarse from crying. 

“Because you’d settle for me. You’d try your best to fit in for me. The same way you’d tried to fit among people who didn’t see you for who you are. But that won’t be the real you. That would not be the Jukyung I fell for.”

“But he did say he’d get over me,” I couldn’t believe I actually let those words out of my mouth. Suho, who was anxious all this while was now smiling through his tears.

“If I know him anything at all over these years, he said this to protect his own pride thinking his feelings wouldn’t ever be reciprocated.”

We both laughed at each other and suddenly a huge wave of realization hit me.“Suho, I- I don’t even know how to begin apologizing to you.”

“Then, don’t. In case you want to make it up to me, just inform me if he ever hurts your feelings. I’d gladly come over and break his nose.” His words made me giggle before we parted our ways. This time, for good.

“Han Seojun you lucky bastard,” Suho murmured tearfully.

[skzfelixity]

Sorting True Beauty Characters In Hogwarts Houses

Lim Jukyung | Hufflepuff

Lee Suho | Ravenclaw

Han Seojun | Hufflepuff

I know what you’re thinking right now

why not in slytherin

he has slytherin traits obv

it’s probably hufflepuff 52% slytherin 48%

in the webtoon, he worked to provide for his family

he is literally jukyung protector

he values friendship 100%

he didn’t confess to jukyung not because he was scared to (maybe a lil)

but because he cared about how jookyung AND suho felt

a loyal tall bean

hard work literally equals han seojun like have you read the webtoon-

it’s just my opinion and I don’t expect anyone to agree with it but he will always be a hufflepuff for me

he is kinda the neville of hufflepuff

doesn’t seem like he belongs in his house but 100% does

Choi Sooah | Gryffindor

Yoo Taehoon | Hufflepuff

Kang Soojin | Slytherin

Lim Heekyung | Gryffindor

Lim Juyoung | Gryffindor

Han Gowoon | Ravenclaw

Han Joonwoo | Hufflepuff

Jeong Seyeon | Hufflepuff

Lee Sungyong | Slytherin

An Hyunkyu | Gryffindor

Kim Chorong | Hufflepuff

Park Semi | Slytherin

[voidgenome]

𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑔 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒.

[faeriejukyung]

seojun: *about to do something stupid and life threatening for shits and giggles*

everyone: SEOJUN NO

seojun: SEOJUN YES

soojin: seojun no.

seojun: seojun no :(

[meryamthebadassbitch]

사랑 𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥 {𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Closing her bag, Y/N slowly got up from her seat walking out , scrolling down Spotify to find a perfect song , BØRNS - Electric Love , even if it was released in 2015 , it's still catchy and always light someone mood , suddenly the feeling of her phone vibring , snapped her out of thoughts. staring into space, drawing a blank look . Y/N wanted to block them completely , They pissed her off and are the reason , her and Suho's friendship isn't the same anymore , not even a SINGLE bit , scoffing to herself to the popping message in front of her , it said : - Mister L/N- Y/N i want you to tell Suho to come to dinner tonight , at our restaurant ! at 8 : 30 read 10:39 wrote back on her father phone as he was fuming in anger , Y/N didn't even bother to answer back , she always left them on read , expect for her maids . Not wanting to risk any unnecessary confrontation back home , she moved toward the place she mostly hated , the cafeteria. Sure she liked to eat , but not when people are around especially after the 'little' disagreement that happened today morning , finally finding him sitting down with a group of friends , she walked toward him putting her phone in front of him , as he suprisingly stared at her , getting up to say something , she already took her phone and walked away , " i'm no here to listen to deal with bullshit , Dad want you to come to the restaurant tonight at 8:30 , that's it , that's the only thing i want to say" she said trying to sound serious but is holding down her cracking voice , walking away she ran up the stairs to the rooftop. Meanwhile Suho tried to call out for her but it was no use , sitting back down , said Seojun "do you want me to go check on her ?" asked the handsome boy , suho looking back at him he answered "yes it is better if you did , she won't talk to me..." doing as told , he pushed his chair , following the girl , she was listening to music , with a tear falling down her eye his head tilting to the side , but still kept his SWAG self , hands in pockets he walked toward her leaning on the railing , he cleared his throat "the hell do you want ?" she said wiping her tears away , looking to the opposite direction , earning a chuckle from "what a bad wat to greet someone who just wants to talk" "i don't want to talk to you , i don't even know you !" she said finally turning to him , "you don't know me , i'm Han seojun !" this fucking dumbass she thought shaking her head "does it look like i care ?" she said crossing her arms in front of her chest , "well you-" "-shouldn't , i know" Y/N cut him off with a sarcastic smile

[akkaiito]

[tearsona]

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part eight

a/n: wah it’s been so long, please forgive me. college has honestly been killing me. i didn’t plan on ending the update like this, but i figured it would take me much longer if i included the next scene here, so i decided to just put it in the next part. anyway thank u to those who have been waiting patiently! the endgame is finally revealed??? please let me know what u think ((i am aware not everyone will like where the story goes but please be nice)). ALSO!!!! please check out this playlist a cool tumblr friend made for the series i love it so much :3

part one | part seven

the suddenness of your action takes you both aback at first, lips awkwardly pressed against each other and unmoving. suddenly, you’re aware that you’ve just entered prohibited territory - one and the same with that which you’ve one-sidedly tried hard to stay away from, with seojun.

with suho though, this was territory you’ve never really had to make a conscious effort avoiding simply because it had been completely unmapped in your friendship before this moment - never been in your vocabulary ‘til now.

probably why it didn’t take you a second thought to cross the line. for a moment, it didn’t feel like the consequences were the same.

and so you wait for it - the regret, the panic, the unwanted voice at the back of your mind, the force that’d pull you off of your friend.

but it doesn’t come.

instead, you feel yourself melting into the kiss the same time suho’s body relaxes against yours and, for now, it doesn’t feel wrong. not at all.

truthfully, you’ve done this with a number of boys in the past, none of which you’d felt even the slightest bit of affection for, so there have been times where you wondered what a real kiss would feel like. until now.

with suho, it’s nothing electric or magical. in fact, it’s the opposite - but feels just as wonderful and rare. it’s altogether sweet and delicate; even as he goes to deepen the kiss by angling his head and pulling you closer by the waist, his mouth remains tender in its movements and his touch careful and feather-like, as though he’s holding something invaluable.

there is no sparks or burning ache, no bubble of excitement or tinge of desperation that has you clutching for more, but there’s a feeling of relief, of content that settles in your chest, and warmth that spreads through your body that makes you not want to let go.

it’s calm and real and grounding, and just… so very suho.

no, it’s nothing like in fiction, you think, or the plenty of times you’ve imagined what a kiss with him would feel like, one wherein fireworks dance behind your eyelids, or you’re spinning above the clouds. it’s nothing like that.

but it’s perfect.

and yet.

yet why his name is in your mind at this second, why you still can’t help but wonder if such dream-like kiss exists in reality is a frustration to you. even this seemingly perfect moment has somehow provoked the thought of him, just like all the other times in the past you’ve tried getting with another boy but heaven forbade you to.

him, whose presence is merely a few feet away, whose heart you’ve unknowingly decimated, shattered severely upon witnessing this moment, and if you just looked to your left you’d see the hurt that’s broadcast clearly on his face.

what with the interruptive thoughts, you’re the first to pull away from the kiss, eyes temporarily wide as you try to read his expression, but you’re unable to when you’re confused with your feelings yourself. all you know is that right now, you’re looking at him and seeing him in a completely different light - as if all colors had traded places or been imbued with a new property, that nothing feels quite the same anymore. in a good way, you hope. for now it feels so.

you blink once, twice, before you let go of the grip on his collar and suho’s arms slowly leave your waist. you take notice of the red in his cheeks and there’s no doubt, with the way they’re burning, that yours are mirroring them as well.

and for the first time… seojun feels like crying. he’s seen everything for sure, not having torn his eyes off the scene for at least a second. even now, he’s watching as suho lingers in front of your gate after you’ve gone inside, perhaps trying to process what had just transpired between you, perhaps feeling the exact opposite of what seojun is going through - intolerable, gut-wrenching pain, without exaggeration.

it’s the finality that hurts.

because, to seojun, more than the romantic heartbreak of finding you lips-to-lips with another man (suho, to be exact), this is the final fragment of the realization that you absolutely didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

that night had been the end of your friendship. seojun can still remember the panic he went through the first time he realized that. but despite knowing that you hated him, what had gotten him through all these weeks was the tiny shred of hope that he still held onto - one of these days you were going to miss him, forgive him, or at least tell him that you were willing to hear him out.

because that was the kind of bond that you had. at least, that was how he’d read it - past the playful acts and teasing remarks was the promise of an unflinching friendship, of always having each other’s back, of finding home in one another. as cliche as it sounds, he’d always felt that there was some kind of invisible string that tied you together - you were each other’s person, and being separated from each other felt like walking around in half.

but seeing you here was what killed that illusion of hope for seojun. it finally hit him that he no longer held any place in your life.

for real.

on the other hand, you’re wondering just how much different things would have turned out, if it had been him all along. lee suho.

it should have been him.

he’s attractive, he’s kind, he’s sensible, he’s great to have around, and he even does all of these sweet things for you. not just the big favors, but also the minor, missable gestures from him during your moments together that he thinks you don’t notice.

plus, he’s never judged you even though he knows you inside out, to the point that it annoys you sometimes, how you could never hide anything from him. you know you need that though - someone who could see right through you despite your stubbornness to express your feelings.

but most importantly, that kiss. who knew, that you and him could ever share something like that? suho, out of all people. up until that moment, you’d only ever seen and treated him as a friend. almost a sibling even.

but that’s exactly why these thoughts should be making you feel guilty, improper. like they always did with seojun.

and yet somehow, they don’t.

suho had been the first to lean in, after all.

of course, neither of you had meant it to happen. you know how much suho likes jugyeong - you’ve seen it. having spent a lot of time with him lately too, it’s obvious that his feelings for the girl haven’t changed a bit.

clearly, it shouldn’t have meant anything. it was no more beyond a mere lapse of judgment. admittedly, you’d been momentarily swayed by the way he had looked at you then… it was alien to you. sure, you’ve had guys stare at you with want before, but none of them had ever looked at you the way suho did in that moment - like there was a need, an ache to kiss you.

and it doesn’t matter if you’d read it wrong, if it had been fleeting, or if you’d both just simply misplaced your feelings for other people, each been craving affection from someone that wasn’t available as the other had been in that moment. what matters is the plain fact that suho sees you as a woman. and if you’re not mistaken, there was definitely something in that kiss - a mutual undercurrent of something you can’t quite name but, dare you say it, held the potential to bloom into something more if you both wanted to. if you were both willing to try.

the thought of it is enough to stir something inside you.

you enter the studio later than you’re supposed to for no reason other than you’d accidentally slept through your alarm after spending the whole night awake. you mumble your apologies to nobody in particular as you make your way to set your things down on one of the tables, camera flashes and shutter clicks as well as you’re doing great, fantastic! turn around, good! and other words of encouragement from the photographer filling the room as usual.

you try to regain your breath for a moment after having run all the way here, searching the contents of your bag for your water bottle until you hear something that causes your head to snap up immediately.

“…han seojun! one, two - looks great! now smile for me!”

your eyes grow wide when they land on the man posing in front, blinking hard as though that would make him disappear, and he would’ve seen the embarrassing look on your face if you weren’t quick to snap out of it just right before his eyes meet yours. seojun’s posture visibly slackens when he sees you. you watch as the photographer continues to click his camera at every second even as his instructions go ignored.

“handsome, isn’t he?” your co-worker whispers from beside you when she notices you staring, nudging your arm teasingly. “everyone loves him here.”

you break your eye contact with the apparent celebrity to look at your co-worker. “r- really? is he always, um, around?”

the girl nods. “lately he hasn’t been, but yeah, you’ll see him often,” she says before sending you a wink, “you’d have to get in line though.”

you mouth a knowing “ah” in response as you force out a laugh before returning your gaze to the photoshoot - cut short due to the model’s sudden lack of attention - when you find two pairs of eyes looking back at you, the photographer having turned around after hearing seojun mumble your name to himself.

“oh? y/n, you’re finally here?” the older man greets, gesturing you to come closer before turning to seojun. “you know her? you know each other?”

you stop right in front of them and spare the boy a glance to check his response but he doesn’t answer, eyes settled on something else at the opposite side of the room. you give the older man a polite bow.

“ahhh,“ the man nods as though he’s realized something obvious. he points a finger at you. “are you his girlfriend?”

the random question has you both reacting immediately, seojun’s head whipping to face the other man as he opens his mouth to say something, but you were quicker to exclaim a defensive ”no!“ while waving your hands to stress your denial, causing the boy to feel offended somehow. you swallow your discomfort when he finally turns to you with a look that’s nothing short of a glare.

“hyung, can we just hurry to the next shoot?” seojun asks impatiently.

what if you quit your job on the spot?

you consider the option.

“alright,” the man replies, patting the younger’s shoulder twice in agreement. “go get changed then. y/n will help you. we’ll get the set ready.”

and so now, you’re outside the men’s room, anxiously flittering back and forth as you wait for seojun to finish, a ready-to-be-worn grey coat in your hand along with a few makeup you’ve been told to bring with. you freeze as soon as you hear the cubicle open and you will your heart to calm for the last time.

“here,” you mumble as soon as he comes out, holding the piece of clothing up on either side so seojun can slip his arms in, which he does reluctantly.

the short silence is deafening. this being your first interaction in a long time, you feel a lump form in your throat at the rush of different conflicting emotions suddenly vying for your attention.

the past few weeks have been up and down. throughout its course, you have loved, hated, wanted, resented, and missed the man, questioned the rightness or wrongness of your decision to end the friendship, and so on… you couldn’t be consistent.

right now, it’s all at once.

but even if you can’t will your heart to tone down these feelings, or temporarily forget about them just long enough to get you through the afternoon, at least you’ll outwardly pretend they don’t exist. that much, you can do.

“hold on,” you stop seojun by the arm just as he’s about to walk away. you reach out to fix the back of his collar that’s been folded wrong with an impassive face and the little courage you’ve mustered, missing the way his body tenses at your touch and proximity…

when you’re done, you attempt to smoothen the wrinkles of his clothing next by swiftly brushing your hand through them until you feel yourself starting to become a little too comfortable with your actions. you allow yourself a singular glance at his face and you’re met with a gaze that almost already has the surface of your resolve breaking.

applying the powder onto his face is even more agonizing. you try to avoid eye contact with him as much possible, patting down on his skin with utmost gentleness so contrary to the raging emotions bottled within you. you feel his unmoving stare burning through your skin and you’re thinking maybe, for once, he’s actually able to see right through you.

maybe right now he could tell, that one right or wrong word from him could easily have you crawling through hot coals just to take him back.

and it also doesn’t help that he smells so damn good.

you try to make it quick.

handing seojun the lip balm next (surely, he can do it by himself), you step back to a safer distance when you hear a booming voice that causes you to jump.

“perfect! you look perfect! y/n,” the photographer beams as he approaches you, having just witnessed the entirety of your wordless exchange with the other. “how would you like to do the photoshoot with us?”

you raise your eyebrows in confusion the same time you hear the man beside you utter a loud “what?”, you glance at him and see disapproval written all over his face.

“but i already am…?”

ignoring the younger’s reaction, the photographer shakes his head when he says, “i mean, as a model.”

you gasp incredulously before waving your hands in refusal. “me? no, no way, i can’t. i’m sorry.”

“the other model didn’t show up,” he continues, “and we need to update the newly released product, so it’s kind of urgent.”

“hyung,” seojun interrupts, “not everyone can be a model!”

you feel your heart sting at his words, but as much as it offends you, he has a point. “he’s right… i shouldn’t. i’ve never tried this before.”

“that’s why you can do even better,” the older man encourages. “and i’ll pay you more, don’t worry.”

so here you are. the photoshoot is nothing less than unpleasant, awkward. the man beside you is fuming with annoyance - you can almost physically feel the heat of it. but it’s not like you don’t like this idea any less than he does, you just simply couldn’t turn down the money.

you just wish he would stop acting like a kid and at least look at the camera. what are you even supposed to do with him just standing there, put your arms around him? no way.

and so after several attempts by the photographer, like a mother to a child, at getting seojun to smile, turn around, look friendly, anything… to no avail, he deduces that seojun’s defiance is simply due to hunger, so he calls for a ten-minute break where he can grab him food.

when the man leaves, seojun lets out an exasperated sigh you feel the urge to roll your eyes at. he takes a seat on the couch behind you just as one of the other ladies in the room comes to set down a box of tissue on the table. you mutter a polite thanks.

after yourself, you grab the box and offer it to seojun, who only stares at the thing before looking away. honestly… you’re kinda thankful for his stubborn attitude. because being annoyed is better, far more tolerable than having to acknowledge what you actually feel deep down. you can save that for later.

frustratedly, you sigh when you take it upon yourself to pull out a tissue for him and wipe away his sweat, only to be stopped when he seizes your wrist and looks you up and down - like you’re nothing more than a nuisance. “what are you doing?”

you try not to be intimidated by his glare as you try to resist his grip. “did you not hear what she said? it’s so you’ll look nice in the photos.”

“forget it,” he says, pushing your hand further from his face. “go away.“

you exhale impatiently. “will you stop being difficult? it’s not like i’m doing this because i want to—”

once again, seojun is quick to take hold of your wrist, but this time he looks pissed enough to render you silent.

“i said stop.” a tense beat of silence before he continues, “is this that easy for you?”

you feel the air around you change at his words. your heartbeat starts to quicken at the sudden unease that coils in your belly. all the more so, when you find yourself pinned against the couch in the next second, seojun’s face merely a few inches above yours that you almost don’t hear it, over the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears, when he says, “how long will you keep this up?”

you swallow nervously.

there it is - the confrontation you’ve been fearing.

but how are you supposed to answer, when the proximity of your faces is past the bounds of your being able to think straight?

in response, all you can do is stare at seojun wide-eyed and dumbfounded, much to his disappointment - especially when the interruption of the older man, who is more than enthusiastic to see you in perfect position (“that’s what i’m talking about!”), gives you the opportunity to look away and avoid the question further.

the next thing you know, seojun is hoisting you upright by the waist until your chests are almost pressed against each other, feeling his breath on your skin when he tells you, “i want to make this quick, so just cooperate.“

all throughout the shoot, seojun wordlessly directs you like the natural he is, like when he guides your arm around his shoulder, or when he angles his body or tilts his head towards yours… he makes it so every pose looks and feels as if your bodies had been made to fit together perfectly.

the more clicks and flashes, the more entangled with each other you become, the faster you feel your heart beat. he does everything so casually - and yet every touch lingers, tingles where it just left, somehow different from any of the platonic touches he’s initiated before… somehow feels achingly right.

soon, he’s pushing you as he leans forward, more gently than the first time, and when your back hits the sofa, your eyes lock in a silent exchange beyond your lagging mind’s comprehension. seojun’s gaze remains steady on yours, unwavering even as he brings your hand onto his shoulder where it rests uneasy.

at this point, it feels as if your heart is about to thump right out of your chest, or jump out of your throat. by now you’ve already drowned out your surroundings, entrapped in a bubble only you two shared and smelled only of his cologne. you try not to give yourself away under his intense scrutiny, eyes continuously flickering between yours…

shamelessly, they cast downwards, landing on your lips as you hold your breath…. and when he starts to lean in -

that’s when it becomes unbearable. thankfully, the oblivious photographer is there to yell out the end of the shoot right when you need it, there to remind you that this is only a photoshoot. but before that, seojun’s lips had only been merely a few millimeters apart from yours - one millisecond away from who knows what…

you have to get out of there, you think.

because now any progress - every painstaking step you’d taken at overcoming your unrequited feelings, your all-consuming pining for the man, in the previous weeks avoiding him for that purpose had been for nothing. so easily as you’d expected, seojun just shattered your carefully constructed but fragile barriers into heartbreaking fragments… so obliviously too.

you push him off of you immediately and head out of the room without a word, but one question in your mind.

why had he looked at you like that?

“i need relationship advice.”

jugyeong’s eyes widen, food halfway to her mouth. relationship is the least of the things she’d suspected seojun to be bothered by right now, especially with him denying that he liked anyone just a few weeks ago. “oh? what? really? i’m not really an expert on this subject though,” she says in a pout, but later sets down her chopsticks to give the other man her full attention. “lay it on me. i’ll try and be helpful.”

slowly, seojun swallows his food before he muses, “there’s this girl i like…” jugyeong nods at him to keep going. “but i’m going to move on.”

“huh? why? have you told her how you feel?”

seojun chuckles, “no.”

the girl frowns disappointedly. “but you’re already moving on?”

seojun smiles sadly to himself at the brief recall of memories, all pointing to one person. your unforgettable reaction that night when he’d confidently put you in suho’s friendzone, your description of your type in men (which, at one point in the past weeks, he’d foolishly hoped matched him), and that kiss. the kiss that cemented all his suspicions. the kiss you’d appearingly enjoyed with the other person then, versus the vivid memory of you pushing him off to get away from just him, after that photoshoot. “she likes someone else.”

the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

jugyeong blinks before straightening up in her seat. “do you like her a lot?”

“yeah…” seojun hums with another smile despite the heavy weight in his chest. “a lot.”

“so what if she likes somebody else? i didn’t expect you to be the type to give up on someone so easily.”

seojun stares at the clueless girl in guilt when he says, “but he likes her too.”

if only jugyeong knew.

“still. it’s not too late if they aren’t dating yet,” she argues, though the boy seems to have already given up on the girl in question. jugyeong sighs in understanding before flashing her friend a smile in attempt to lift his mood. “she must be some girl for you to have a crush on,” she teases, “she must be beautiful.”

seojun hums in agreement. “she is,” he says, chuckling to himself, “i have high standards, you know.”

“seriously,” jugyeong scolds, “then you should tell her soon and make her your girlfriend.”

seojun smiles weakly. “do you think… she would come to me if i did?”

turning your head to acknowledge the sudden appearance of your friend, your eyes follow suho as he takes a seat beside you in the nearly empty library. “how’d you know i was here?”

“where else would you be, cutting school?” he retorts, causing you to scowl.

“why, you don’t think i can do that?” you bite back defensively, slamming your book shut and pushing it aside so you can rest your cheek on the palm of your hand to look at the boy with full attention.

suho shrugs, “but you’d rather be doing homework. am i not right?”

“tch,” you utter in defeat, the corners of your mouth twitching as you try to hold back a smile. “am i that boring?”

“who says you are?“ he frowns, quick to react as though you’d offended him, “you’re far from boring.”

you blink, feeling your heart stutter over his simple words.

it’s always like this. you showing the slightest hint of self-doubt, self-deprecation - even jokingly - and suho catching you off-guard with a compliment or reassurance that always leaves you feeling a little bit better about yourself, sometimes special, even. and you never have to question the sincerity behind his words like you often would with other people, because he just always is, when it comes to you. it’s like he genuinely believes you’re special, and it’s his duty to make you know so.

but you don’t think it’s ever been like this. never been accompanied by a hint of that all-too-familiar feeling… one you were actually starting to think only seojun was capable of evoking, no one else. and yet here it is. faint, but there.

feeling all of a sudden uneasy under your stare, suho shifts in his seat, tearing his eyes off you to search for something to talk about. “what’s that?” he blurts, pointing to something behind you.

“hmm?” you hum, still tranced, sliding your arm off the table to look at the object of his attention: a cute medium-sized, pastel-colored paper bag that’s been sitting atop the table along with the rest of your belongings.

“oh, this…” your lips curl into a fond smile, briefly glancing at the bag’s contents even if you’d already taken a look at them earlier - candies, snacks, a pocket-sized stuffed animal meant to make you smile, along with a small thank you note, for being such a kind person, it says. “a gift.”

“gift to whom…?”

“from,” you correct, chewing on your bottom lip in a moment of contemplation before you continue, “from jugyeong.“

carefully, you gauge his expression and catch as it flickers with sadness that almost has you reaching out to comfort him, but, similarly, you feel something knot in your own chest at the thought of the girl as well.

jugyeong, who always smiled at you at every given opportunity, just as how seeing her always made you smile, too. earlier, she’d come to you and asked you to stick your hand out for a gift - a gift you didn’t quite deserve, honestly.

you’d seen her bare face, kept your promise not to tell anyone, but haven’t you just been doing what a normal person should? just why would you go around telling other people another person’s business, anyway?

and so at that moment, you understood - why everyone seemed to adore the girl. not only was she pretty enough to attract a lot of eyes, but she also had a beautiful, bright personality that unfailingly caught people’s hearts as well. yours wasn’t an exception. and neither was seojun’s or suho’s.

she reminds you of seyeon just a little bit.

lately, you’ve been finding yourself wanting to be around the girl, wanting to strike up a conversation, just genuinely wanting to be her friend. but, understandably, jugyeong was almost never alone. there was always sua, soojin… seojun.

of course.

no matter how much you’ve grown to like the girl, there is still that ache, the pang of jealousy that always came at the thought of her.

and now there is also that guilt…

slowly, your gaze shifts to suho when your train of thought leads you back to him. surprisingly, since that day, nothing has changed in the way you got along with each other. and as much as a relief it is to you that whatever happened hadn’t ruined your precious friendship, you can’t help the questions that still linger in your mind - can’t keep pretending like nothing happened.

”h- hey, um,” you begin, clearing your throat awkwardly and immediately catching the boy’s attention. his eyes flicker downwards, where he finds your hands starting to pick at the loose threads of your uniform. and just as he expects, “about the other day…”

for a few seconds, suho’s eyes linger on yours before they trail away and settle on something else at a distance. he looks neither tense or awkward, just calm, as though he’s already prepared himself for this conversation.

the truth is, he has. he’s thought about it more times than he could count in the past few days, replayed the scene over and over. he’s wondered what it meant for both you and him, if it would change anything, if he wanted to do anything about it… how much he liked it… and why he’d done it in the first place.

at that time, the urge to kiss you had been so strong. after all, his feelings for you had once been fiery and consuming long time ago. perhaps seojun acknowledging them all of a sudden had opened the cap of where they had previously been safely contained, and caused some them to resurface.

if he’d ever thought about making a move or confessing to you in the past, he had. several times. however, it wasn’t hard for him to tell then that his best friend liked you, too, just as how it was easy to figure out that you felt the same about the other.

that was the reason why he’d kept those feelings hidden well - he didn’t want to get in the way.

eventually, they died down, anyway. eventually, the ache of seeing his two best friends’ oblivious pining for each other became more bothersome than the ache of not having his feelings reciprocated by you. and that goes on until now - seeing you heartbroken these days just because the other boy was still failing to realize his own feelings frustrated him, too.

but he knows, deep down, seojun will come through. he just needs to come to his senses.

“it didn’t mean anything,” you say, voice breaking through his thoughts, “right?“

no. suho wants to say no. it did mean something to him. and the glint of hope in your eyes at the moment makes him want to tell the truth all the more - makes him think he actually stands a chance.

“yeah…” suho finally answers.

because despite all the uncertainty, one thing that’s clear to him is that in the past few days he’s been trying to understand his own heart, one person’s name had been insistent, loud and unignorable. that girl, he misses more than anything. and he knows, for sure, that this is the one thing he’d definitely regret not doing about if he didn’t. not him failing to confess to you.

once again, silence fills the air, and you feel the slightest disappointment in your stomach over this confirmation.

but that however doesn’t last long when you feel it quickly being replaced by relief. acceptance. you feel at ease - like a weight you didn’t know you’d been holding has been lifted off your chest.

you feel a little bit funny for having actually hoped for something else, too. because somehow, all of a sudden, that kiss, and all the thoughts and temporary feelings that came with it, feel like a distant memory to you now.

to suho, it would take a little more time to forget completely, but for now he feels the same relief as you do.

slowly, your mouth lifts into a genuine smile. “okay…”

you feel warmth spread across your chest when suho returns it. all the more so when his shoulders start to shake in a silent chuckle, eyes crinkling just a tiny bit more.

“okay.”

time heals, but it could also fester.

after having only told yourself things like pain is temporary and things just have to get worse before they get better in the past few weeks, you’re finally admitting to yourself that this isn’t it.

it’s always when you reach your bedroom at the end of the day where you let yourself crumble. you can’t count with all your fingers and toes the amount of times these four walls have witnessed you desperately reach out for your phone to call the boy. only almost. because every time, you managed to talk yourself out of it.

but as your mind continuously repeats suho’s words this afternoon, you realize just how much you’ve actually been waiting to hear it.

i think you should talk to seojun.

after all, it’s been a month and the ache still hasn’t gotten easier. the sad, dull ache - the longing for that person that seems to always permeate everything in the end, no matter how much you try to distract yourself from it.

isn’t confession the only thing that’s left?

or maybe you just need more time. another month, perhaps…

but no. seojun deserves to know the truth. one hundred percent of it. it’s what you both deserve anyway. you’re going to confess, have him reject you, and then you’ll finally be able to move on.

what have you got to lose now, anyway?

your thumbs hover over your keyboard.

but just as you’re about to compose your text, three dots suddenly appear at the bottom of your messages, indicating that the other is typing. you almost drop your phone at the sight.

your heart hammers against your rib cage as you spend a whole minute watching as those dots keep disappearing and reappearing on your screen. you wait for what feels like forever, until the words finally arrive, message unexpectedly short for the amount of time it had taken the other:

can we talk?

bff!seojun headcanons (bonus) | part nine