#sucker for a tragic back story and for enemies to lovers

[blanc-ci]

I really enjoy seeing which of my arts get tagged with #TOS or #AOS because unless it’s really blatant I’m never intentionally drawing one or the other

I scroll through the tags and nod sagely and go: seems the High Nerd Council has deemed this art has AOS vibes, I shall reflect on this.

[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/?

God I'm a sucker for a soulmate au. (AO3) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn

Wordcount: 2347

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

Other info: About this au - Soulmates find each other through touch, which establishes a mental link that lets feelings through, and if solid and built up enough over time, simple thoughts/words can also come through. Some bonds are purely platonic, about ⅓ in total. Multiple soulmates are not unheard of, but rare, more common with platonic soulmates. 

Quickly about the reader - mercenary/gunman/thug for hire. Great shot with pretty much any gun, has two knives as backup weapons, has fought with swords before. Looks wise he has hair and is shorter than Wade and Logan, but I try to keep no specific height in mind while writing. Has a few scars scattered over his body, but nothing specific as of yet. Does not want a soulmate, thinks it just leaves people vulnerable. Lives on his own in an apartment he owns and is content with his life.

All you were, really, was hired help.

All you were supposed to do was stand around and look scary with a few other tugs in a warehouse with high shelves stacked with crates, while your employer (a generous word for the drug dealer that hired you) met with another drug dealer.

It had gone tits up the second a man wearing a red and black spandex suit and katanas on his back of all things came crashing through a window.

You had dived for cover, because there are gunshots ringing out in the milliseconds after the glass shatters. You curse, reaching for your gun, with just one single 10 bullet magazine, because your stupid employer had insisted you only needed one when you asked for more. So to have something more you had your adamantium knives strapped to each thigh, hidden enough under your black joggers.

You curse under your breath, cause this is fucking awful. You hear gunshots over and over again, people are dying, wood from shipping crates are splintering, metal is hitting the floor. 

And there’s talking. 

Fucking talking.

“Come one guys, your aim is all off! Did none of you ever train on the neighborhood cats?”

Well, more like yelling. Because even though the warehouse wasn’t empty, it still had an echo. You are used to the loud sounds, it fuels your adrenaline as you peek out from behind the crate you are using as a shield.

The man, you are just going to call him Red for now, is flipping and bouncing between crates, avoiding any big hits. A few bullets graze an arm, but he doesn’t seem to take notice as his own bullets find their marks, bodies dropping around him. He’s nimble and quick about it, taking down guys from both sides with equal gusto, and you find yourself just watching him carefully. He’s almost elegant, light on his feet, and a jab or taunt spewing out of his mouth every few bullets. 

Careful not to alert Red or anyone else about your position, you shift, gun in hand watching him saunter over to your employer, the last man standing. Well, not really, since he’s down on his knees, begging for something incoherent while fat tears and snot roll down his face. 

“Newsflash asshole, I don’t care for your tragic backstory that the writer won’t let you talk about.” Red raises his gun, one last loud bang filling the warehouse before it’s quiet once again.

“Last fucking one, my counting skills once again making me win.” Red claps his hands together, before moving his hands to his hips, looking around the warehouse. “What a fucking mess.” He shakes his head, and you see your opportunity now that he thinks it’s all over.

You move up, pulling the trigger as soon as your gun is aimed right. Red doesn’t even get to turn before six bullets go through his chest, two through his throat, and the last two finding their mark in his skull. You shouldn’t use all your bullets on one target like that, but still you do.  Red drops like a sack of potatoes, and you draw a sigh of relief, lowering your gun as you too look around the warehouse. You’re glad it’s far away from anything else, because it should take at least a few hours before the cops are alerted, and by that time you would be far away from this warehouse that is by now covered in blood, bullet casings, and dead men.

Your earlier relief turns into utter confusion as you hear shuffling, and when you turn back towards where Red’s body is, you see him shake his head where he lays crumpled on the floor, and seconds later he’s on his feet with a groan.

“Okay, good shot whoever that was.” You gape, words slipping out of your mouth without meaning to.

“What the fuck.” Red’s head snaps towards you.

“Oh, there you are.” His voice is light, almost like he’s halfway into song. “I would return the favor, but I’m fresh out of bullets so this will have to do.” He pulls out the katanas strapped to his back. You grab your knives, managing, somehow by the grace of whatever runs this universe, to bring it out just in time to block both katanas that were coming at you in tight formation.

“Oh so you weren’t just happy to see me.” Red jokes, and though you can’t see his face under the mask, you are pretty sure he is grinning. You grunt, because there is no way for your brain to form words as you parry another attack from him, retreating.

You are in no position to attack, so all you do is stop his, and try to escape, backing off. Or rather, you try to, but Red is not letting up, so all you end up doing is walking backwards through the warehouse in a vague path between boxes and shelves as he attacks. 

He manages to get a few slashes here and there to connect, but they are shallow, just enough to draw blood and sting. One on your left arm, two on your right arm, three on your left leg. You wonder if amounts are on purpose. He seems to take it all as encouragement, laughing, keeping up his quick attacks. 

You don’t know you hold out, breathing heavy, arms and hands hurting with how you are clutching and shielding with your knives like your life depends on it. 

Because it 1000% fucking does, that’s why you manage.

Red finally lets up, just enough that you can create some space between the two of you. You don’t dare to actually turn and run, certain he has no moral code of cutting down someone from behind. So you just try to slowly create even more room between the two of you as you watch for his next attack.

“Oh I am having fun!” Red tries to clap, but he just knocks the hilts of his katanas together. “Though we are just a little unevenly matched here.” He sounds like he’s breathing just a little bit harder at least, even though there are no cuts next to the bullet holes riddling his suit. He tilts his head for a moment, then bends down, and then there’s a katana sliding over the floor, bumping into your boot. You look down at it, before looking back up at him.

“Come on, pick it up.” Shifting your knives into one hand, you keep your eyes on the white eyes of his mask as you bend down and pick up the sword. 

“Oh yeah, look at me during.” You ignore his comment, feeling the weight of the katana in your hand. It’s heavy, but perfectly balanced, feeling perfect as you spin it in your hand a few times, the hilt still warm from Red’s earlier hold. 

“Hot.” Red says as he twirls his second katana, mimicking you. Once more ignoring him, you put your knives back in their sheats. “Do you have them there to distract your enemies by making them think you are going to jerk off mid-battle?” You snort.

“No, they are there so they are more hidden, and more difficult to grab.”

“If you wanted my hands in your pants all you had to do was ask, baby.” You think Red is winking at you through the mask. You roll your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Shut the fuck up.” With both of your hands on the hilt of the katana, you are ready to defend yourself from his first attack.

“Ohhh, you remind me of someone. I think the two of you would get along, he’s also a man of few words. Maybe I’ll let you live so you can meet him and fight him too, more material for my spank bank.” He definitely winks this time, then you are defending yourself from another attack from him. It pushes you backwards, again, but this time, you are able to attack back.

Though you can’t help but wonder if he’s letting you, just indulging you. Because you can feel how strong he is when you parry his strikes, you felt how strong he was when all you had was your knives.

It’s a dance, a dance he lets you participate in as you block, attack, block, attack, block. Redirecting his sword coming for your throat so it splinters wood instead of flesh.

“How did you learn to fight like this?” Wade asks, almost spinning as his energy is redirected away from your body. He is at least breathing a little heavier, and for some reason, you find yourself having a little fun, even though you think you know how this is going to end.

“I was a loser in high school. What about you?” You speak through gritted teeth, the sound of metal on metal filling the warehouse as you block another attack. You don’t even know why you ask him back, but it feels right.

“Something similar.” It’s still kinda hard to tell, but you think he grins under his mask as you attack back.

You do get a few cuts in, deep enough that it slices through his suit and the skin underneath, but it leaves you with little satisfaction as you see the cuts heal in seconds. Though at least his suit can’t fix itself, growing more tattered by the minute as new slashes and old bullet holes make a mess of it.

“So you are not just a pretty face, there’s some skills there.” You frown, anger flaring, and you are about to say something, but with a quick move that you have no opportunity to block, and that  truly demonstrates the difference between the two of you, he nicks you with just the tip of the katanta, just on the left corner of your mouth. You startle, but on instinct your tongue goes out to lick at the blood now sliding down to your skin. It just gives you more motivation to strike back, a big one that leaves behind what could almost be called a titty window on his chest, showing textured skin underneath.

“Ohhhh, freaky.” Red taunts, slicing your chest too, though your skin doesn’t heal when metal connects after slicing through your shirt like air. You curse, adrenaline causing your ears to roar, and the world to go a little fuzzy at the edges. You touch your chest, fingers coming back bloody, watching Red. Your own katana pointing towards the floor, ready, but down as you breathe heavily.

“Leaving yourself all open for me? You shouldn’t have.” Red coos, and that is what you are counting on. Letting him attack you straight on, thinking you have given up, so you can shove the katana through his skull, killing him again, and leaving you at least a few moments to high tail it out of there.

It’s what the plan is.

It does not work out like you intend it to.

It goes in a whole new direction.

Because when he comes close enough, you manage to get a hold on his shoulder, which gets you a hopefully not deadly slice over your abdomen for your efforts. You are moving quickly, seconds away from stabbing the katana through the bottom of his jaw. But then your fingers touch a bare spot on his shoulder where his suit had gotten torn, and there’s a sparkler going off in your brain, a sizzling sensation that settles in the back of your head as feelings of excitement, adrenaline, and happiness that are not your own speeds through your mind.

You gasp out loud.

You can’t help yourself.

Because you know what that was.

And there is no fucking way.

WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. 

FUCK.

Fucking no.

A soulmate.

You have a fucking soulmate??????

And this is how you fucking meet him????

In all of your turmoil, you have dropped the katana that was destined to go through Red’s skull. He is a few paces behind you, not immediately attacking, just watching you as you turn around in your now mostly frozen state.

“Wh-”

“Touch me.” Red blinks, owlishly even with the white eyes of his mask.

“Wow, so forward. You know, con-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You march over to him, and in what seems to be confusion he lets you tug the glove of his hand that is not holding his katana. You interlace your fingers, the motion absurdly tender for the moment that is currently playing out. You see his eyes widen behind the mask, and you are sure his mouth opens and closes several times even hidden as it is.

“What the fuck.” The words are so soft out his mouth that you are not even sure he said them. Not that it matters, because a second later he is wrenching his hand back like you burned him. He runs past you, and you watch as he picks up his katana where you dropped it, and then keeps running after that brief slowdown, heading towards a door you hadn’t noticed while you were fighting. You startle yourself into action finally, following him, but he’s out the door before you can reach him.

On the other side there’s a hallway, and his back is quickly retreating, and all you feel is panic. You are not sure which of you it is coming from.

You try to keep up with him through multiple hallways, but he’s fast, getting out of the building before you do. It’s enough of a headstart that you only see backlights and hear the roar of a motorcycle speeding away.

You run over to where the cars you all arrived in earlier are parked, but of fucking course all tires are slashed. Not like you had any of the keys anyway, but they would have been easy enough to find in some dead man's pockets.

“Fucking MOTHERFUCKER!” You know he can’t hear you, but you hope Red feels your frustration through your bond as you punch the hood of a car, denting the metal.

(Part 2)

[zephyrine-gale]

I recently got into Honkai Star Rail through you art and I was wondering what made you ship Blade and Dan Heng? Hope you have a great day ❤️

they had sprinklings of lore throughout the game and I love that! also the very first dan heng nightmare pv was 👀 that was the first thing that made me curious about their dynamic I'm also a sucker for dynamics that are a little unhinged and plague each other's dreams, gotta have a healthy balance of feral so the more intimate moments hit harder ajfjgkgh it's that friends to lovers to tragedy to enemies pipeline

it's that unrequited connection from someone forced to live because of past consequences, and someone who bears the weight of those sins but desperately wants to disconnect from the past. they're currently at their lowest rn but that just means they can only go up from here, and I'm really interested to see how they interact once they learn more about their past

their backstories are very much intertwined, alongside the high cloud quintet. I'll put some stuff that stands out to me below the cut!

Nowhere to Run lightcone

This isn't the first time he's seen this man. This man had become his own inseparable shadow. No matter how many times he runs this man through with his spear, the man always comes back. He can neither lose to this man, nor truly win. Though he wants to run away, there is nowhere to run.

Dan Heng's char story II

Very sus of u blade to chase after another man through countless planets and still recognize him after he's changed his appearance

Blade's char story II

The black-haired young man shivered violently all over, but still clutched onto the spear in his hands. He had no dragon horns, and his reaction was slightly less mature than he remembered... But he would never forget this spear, these eyes, and how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness. His wounds began to heal. His irises flickered and fixed their gaze at the boy once more. Without hesitation, the boy made another flourish with the spear... "That's it." The one who showed no mercy to enemies - was you. The one who single-handedly buried the beloved - was you. The one who almost led the place called home to its destruction - was also you. He fell down again. The teen pressed his hand against his own wounds and retreated, until he was no longer in the man's sight. "Before I witness your death in person, we will meet again, ███."

the beloved = blade the blacked out name = dan feng/imbibitor lunae it implies they knew each other in the past, but DH doesn't remember. Blade doesn't remember much about his past either, only that his mara strikes are triggered by seeing his xianzhou friends of the past (he most likely doesn't remember them as friends)

They share a pair of bracers!

the entire Passerby of Wandering Cloud set is Blade lore! he's such a tragic character, he's been through quite a lot, you should give it a read if you have the time :'>

this one is the backstory for the dragon bracer:

It seems that pairs of objects have telepathic connections with each other. Though the unnamed only had one bracer in his possession, his fingertips could still faintly feel the temperature from the other. He closed his eyes, trying his best to extract any information about the other bracer from the tenuous connection, be it its location or master. A slender yet strong hand once wore the other bracer. That owner, whose sharp spear glinted with a cold light and flourished like shooting stars, once sparred with the unnamed. That owner also once shared company and drinks with the unnamed, the two of them simply gazing at the moon with no words exchanged. However, in the end, it was also this person who stubbornly adhered to their plans with the unnamed, turned the beloved into a monstrosity, and pushed all into an abyss of eternal hatred and remorse. Pairs of objects are destined for an eventual reunion. The long years of grudges and hatred between them should be savored, like ice-cold aged liquor, one slow sip after another until the bottle of resentment is finally empty. Would the wearer of the other bracer feel the same? The unnamed didn't want to know.

the unnamed = Blade = Yingxing

drinking under the moon together -> in cn this is very ceremonial bond/close relationship-coded. Yingxing and Dan Feng were close

Yingxing, a short life species craftsman

Yingxing has the bracer on his right arm and Dan Feng has the other pair on his left

They also share jade pendants (they look like they'd slot together, forming the head and mouthpiece of a cn lion)

This is a line from a vidyadhara egg, but I find the implications very fitting for them :'>

Yingxing created DH's Cloud-Piercer (as well as the other weapons for the High Cloud Quintet)

Blade's char story IV

He remembered that, decades ago, he came to the Xianzhou with a merchant vessel and was impressed by the superb craftsmanship of this place. The young man was obsessed to the point of forgetting to eat or drink, and spent his inspiration like he was running out of time. He forged hundreds of marvels, four of which were the most famous. ... The black-haired man with dragon horns used his water manipulation abilities to rejuvenate his allies, and in the next moment he bound the water upon his spear and used it to ran his enemies through.

Blade's iris shape is similar to IL's lotus motif. lotuses symbolize resilience and rebirth--fitting for both of them, though one came back wrong :'>

Blade | About Dan Heng:

It's been heavily implied that Dan Feng and Yingxing did something that caused catastrophe and resulted in DF being forced to molting rebirth + banishment, and Blade being cursed with immortality and banished.

Dan Feng trusted Yingxing enough to sneak him into the Scalegorge Waterscape and let him do research--into what? we're not sure yet, but since Yingxing is a craftsman, he's probably creating something from the ambrosial arbor?? or from something relating to the vidyadharas. Perhaps he got cursed with Shuhu's gift here?? or DF somehow gave YX immortality, who knows...

I think their plan may be related to what we learn from Imbibitor Lunae's companion quest

SPOILERS FOR IMBIBITOR LUNAE'S COMPANION QUEST

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There's a big focus on vidyadhara's immortality through molting but inability to reproduce, so any casualties in their numbers results in a permanent decrease in their numbers. Dan Feng's sin may be related to changing that (and failing, creating a dragon abomination that they had to fight against instead. although a whole separate vidyadhara was born from the catastrophe--Bailu).

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END OF SPOILERS

Big hc delulu hrs now

Maybe being around the High Cloud Quintet made Dan Feng realize he didn't have a legacy to leave behind, unlike them. Every high elder becomes like the former, they lose their own sense of identity. I'd imagine being around a group of friends with their own agency, who also saw DF as a normal person, made him realize he also wanted to break free from the high elder cycle.

Yingxing may have been DF's biggest wake up call just bc he's a short life species who has done so much, who achieved more than anyone could imagine in a fraction of a lifetime of those in the Xianzhou. DF saw a star shine bright and couldn't help but follow and maybe wish he'd never lose sight of it as well.

Maybe it was for the selfish reason that he didn't want to lose these memories of the people who truly cared for him--of the people he truly came to care for--that he committed such a grave sin

He was dehumanized by everyone around him, I wouldn't put it past him to just. Snap one day, break his cold and calm poise, cry of desperation and fear of losing something dear to him

This kinda became a DF thing but personally, while DH himself may want to distance himself from DF, they're still the same person with shared memories (that DH can't remember)

It's similar to how Blade distances himself from Yingxing because he can't fathom his former self becoming the monstrous thing he is now

I'm really looking forward to when they can both reconcile and put their past to rest

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Allow me to introduce,,,,,,, the Sea Monster AU,,

(can also be thought of as ‘selkie au, but Afton’d, sort of’)

The premise: Reader is a selkie that was tricked and wounded by a group of scumbag sailors who wanted their sealskin, and in an attempt to save their own life, they fought back, ripping the entire crew of the ship to shreds. In their fatally wounded state, they find themselves changed and warped into something no longer their kin: a monster warped by shapeshifting and the magic of the sea to survive their tragic circumstances.

They are later found unconscious amongst the wreckage of the boat by Pirate Eclipse, who, curious, takes them in and treats their wounds. When they wake they are afraid, skittish, and loathsome of what they have become. Eclipse feels empathy at their struggle, and over the course of their healing, the two become close and eventually, ofc, fall in love!

(More concept art below the cut, tw for blood and such)

Some extra tidbits:

Eclipse is an infamous pirate! Sun and Moon are respectable sailors and have no interest in associating with him.

SeaMonster-Reader thinks they are hideous- a horrible, ugly monster, and a murderer on top of that. They often hide themselves in sheets or large clothes, both to bring back a similar feeling as their (now lost forever) selkie skin and to shield their appearance from the world.

Eclipse thinks they are beautiful. He tells them so very often. They are easily overwhelmed by his affections and get emotional a lot. He thinks this is very cute.

Not long after they start bonding, an enemy crew attacks Eclipse’s ship. Seamonster Reader attacks instantly and viciously as soon as they detect the hostility, tackling the opposing captain over the edge of the boat and dragging him down below the water. Several seconds later, they claw their way up the side of the ship and attack the second in command, claws and fangs dripping with sea water and red, frothy blood.

Eclipse, of course, thinks this is hot

The opposing crew flees and stories start to spread of a pirate who keeps a blood thirsty half-man beast alongside his ship, a thing that can crack a hole into the belly of a ship or rip man in two.

Eclipse is pleased to be feared, but is outraged that people describe Reader as a hideous animal-like thing, and counters their tales with stories of his sea-folk lover, beautiful and precious and made by the sea with loving care, a force of life and love

One of the first words seamonster-Reader learns to say is ‘you’, then ‘thank you’. The first time they say Eclipse’s name, he is sucker punched by Cupid’s arrow

Eclipse he loves to soothe seamonster Reader, rubbing their back or touching their fins. Reader is flustered by this, but trusts Eclipse and eventually starts to enjoy it, sometimes (timidly) seeking it out. Eclipse wants to smother them in kisses every time they do

Eclipse calls them his beauty, or angelfish. Seamonster Reader calls him ‘Clipse’ or sea star

[its-the-sa]

it is serious. the ship just comes off as nasty to me and i dont understand it

oh, then I'm sorry for being dismissive. I thought you were just a hater lol.

but in all seriousness, if a ship seems nasty to you, then a logical explanation of it is probably not going to change your mind. squicks are just gut reactions, so it doesn't really matter whether or not you understand the thing that squicks you. and that's ok! if the ship makes you uncomfortable, you should just block the rw regicide tag (or in my case you should probably just block me entirely lol )

but since you did ask sincerely, I'll at least try to explain why I ship it:

basically, I'm just a sucker for the 'enemies to lovers' trope and the 'villain redemption' trope. show me any two characters who fit both of those, and I'll probably ship it lol

I like villain redemption, because I like tragic villains. I like villains whose actions are inexcusable, but understandable. villains who lash out due to grief and end up doing horrible things in the throes of rage. and I like making them feel bad about it. I like villains who know they are monsters, who know they have done despicably evil things and truly hate themselves for it. and I like giving them a second chance. I like to see them feel remorse and turn away from evil and try to become better people.

and I like enemies to lovers because... well, for a lot of reasons that would probably take several thesis papers to unpack, lmao. but basically there's just something really intimate about two characters who can handle each other at their absolute worst, when no one else can. arti is like an unstoppable force of rage until she meets scav king, who is like an immovable object to her. he's willing to fight her and kill her as many times as he needs to, but he never strikes first, and he always gives her the chance to back down. and since he does have min aggression and max sympathy, I see him as the type of person who would easily forgive someone who is genuinely remorseful. he doesn't want to keep the cycle of violence and hatred going; whenever arti is ready to let go of her rage and stop the bloodshed, so is he. when she's ready to face the consequences of her actions and try to become a better person, he would rather support her than condemn her. he doesn't necessarily expect his people to forgive her, and he doesn't try to make excuses for her or downplay any of the harm she caused. i just think he could personally look at arti and find someone worth caring about underneath all the rage and hate, and in turn she could look at him and find someone she can trust enough to let all that hate go and admit she was wrong.

obviously, this type of relationship could never happen in real life (or if it did, it would be a fucking toxic disaster). but they're just characters, so their relationship doesnt have to be realistic, and I just want their story to have a happy ending I guess.

idk if any of this makes sense to you, but it's fine if not. you don't always have to understand why people like things that you don't like, it's ok to just block them for your own peace of mind. so if this ship still makes you uncomfortable, feel free to block me, I wouldn't take offense. stay safe and remember that fandom is for having fun , so dont stress out about it too much!

[saylorsaysstop]

⭐️ TOP 10 READS ⭐️

I wasn't really dabbling with the book community when I picked up reading again in September 2023 but now in January 2024, I've read 32 books (not a lot but I'm picking up speed finally!) and here are my TOP 10 reads so far on my reading journey 💘📚

Starting at #10...

#10: ICEBREAKER | Hannah Grace

This was one of the first books I read. It was also my first sports romance. I didn't think hockey would be it for me but WOWZA did Nate Hawkins change me. His and Stassie's relationship was a quick one that took my breath away. The spice? You wouldn't have convinced me of the fllth in this book when I picked it up. Honestly, the pages moaned when I opened them. Such a good read! Highly recommend. I'm currently reading WILDFIRE (Russ and Aurora's story) and cannot WAIT for Henry's book! He was my favorite side character 💘

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#9: SECRETLY YOURS | Tessa Bailey

Secretly Yours was my introduction to Tessa Bailey who has honestly become one of my top 5 authors. I love her writing style. A third person typically isn't my cup of tea, but Tessa can change you. This was a great take on a little grumpy x mega sunshine action. Julian Vos is a sucker for his girl and secretly a little freak too. Absolutely loved this! Also, I loved the secret admirer letters back and forth. So good.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️

#8: Unfortunately Yours | Tessa Bailey

This is the second book after Secretly Yours. This follows Julian's sister, Natalie, and August Cates. We meet both of these people in Secretly Yours. There's nothing I love more than a marriage of convenience trope with a little splash of enemies to lovers, but knowing that the MMC has fallen in love first. August Cates? He is a WHOLE MAN. An ex-Marine who is set to keep his late best friend's vineyard dreams alive, his and Natalie's explosive relationship is a succulent read... And in the bedroom? Well, let's just say. He makes it fit. 🔥

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

#7: ADDICTED TO YOU | Krista & Becca Ritchie

The first book in the Calloway Sisters series follows two very complicated people, Loren Hale and Lily Calloway. Best friends since childhood who both face terrible addictions (Loren is an alcoholic and Lily is a sex addict), they've been playing their families for years that they've been together. They do this so they can help others hide their addictions. But when everything blows up and each realizes the other does have a problem, everything goes south. This book had me in tears. It is emotionally tragic and I adore LiLo SO much. I've read Ricochet and am going to start the 3rd book either this month or in February... Also, you may just fall in love with Connor Cobalt. I said what I said 💗

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#6: FLAWLESS | Elsie Silver

When in doubt, remember what Big & Rich said. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. If you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy. My first cowboy romance ever and I was hooked from the very first page. We meet Rhett Eaton, a playboy bull rider with a hatred for milk unlike no other. He needs his reputation fixed and handled. Enter Summer. The most sunshiney person you'd ever meet gives this bull rider a run for his money. And the sex? Oh wowza. It's so good.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#5: A COURT OF THORNS & ROSES | SJM

My introduction to ACOTAR started off strong. I adored Tamlin (if you know, you know) we follow Feyre Archeron and her journey. I can't say much except you need to read this. It is one of the best series I've ever read, which is why my next 4 are ACOTAR too.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️

#4: A COURT OF MIST & FURY | SJM

ahhhhhhHHHHHH. I CRIED LIKE A BABY. RHYS?? Rhys is my husband. I can't help it.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#3: A COURT OF WINGS & RUIN | SJM

I cried even harder reading this one. Again, I can't spoil it.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#2: A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES | SJM

This is by far my FAVORITE. I am a Nesta girly. Deep down, out of all the Archeron sisters, I relate to Nesta the most. And Cassian is my favorite bat boy... Gah lay. I cannot wait for Azriel's book.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

#1: HAUNTING ADELINE | H.D. CARLTON

My number one book... Is Haunting Adeline. I don't want to hear any negativity. This book changed me. I've got so many book boyfriends, but Zade Meadows beats them all. He is unstoppable. This book had me screaming at the top of my lungs and had me fighting for air. Zade had me questioning everything about myself. He is the dark boyfriend for me. I have Hunting Adeline and desperately want to read, but was trying to get through some of my TBR. I started it and cried by the third chapter so I had to put it down because I just KNOW Hunting will wreck me.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

[radioiaci]

anonymous ⧐ I’m just curious, what is it about Radioapple that draws you so much? No hate of course, I just like hearing peoples thoughts on their ships and why they ship them. If you’ve already answered this I’m so sorry

OOC ASKS.

No worries! Happy to answer. The short answer is that I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers stories.

The long answer is that both Lucifer and Alastor are tragic souls that need each other to find freedom from their individual, rooted traumas. It’s fun to chase the dynamic of these two unique figures, both being punished for their misdeeds of various sorts. They’re similar but different. They push and pull each other and fight and snap and aren’t perfect but so too could they fill the needs of one another when given the right amount of trust.

And a lot of this stems from my OWN characterization of Alastor honestly- it may turn out that he’s more one dimensional in canon (we won’t rly know til next season!) - but overall I just think they both have their proverbial (and literal) chains holding them back from opening up to someone else and they are both stubborn enough to persist and push at each other’s boundaries so that once they do, they’ll love with ferocity. It’s a story that could go a lot of different ways, both happy AND sad, so I love exploring it with any Lucifers who may be interested!!

Also the art can be stupid cute and I’m a sucker for that lmao.

I hope that answers your question!

[nulltune]

any rp wishlist ??

I HAVE A LOT!!!! omg... screams into my hands this is a heck of a question anon- TYSM!! ❤️❤️ i have a wishlist tag too actually- but i don't post much in it because tbh all interactions feed me so well...... i love hakuno dearly you see (live lynn reaction: 🥺🥹😩🫶💗) and she's always interacting with all kinds of interesting muses so tis a guaranteed fun time 🥳 and also like. hakuno as a character is defined as a nobody with nothing so you can expect pretty anything to be a new experience 2 her :,) OK BUT YEA BACK TO UR Q! WHEN IT COMES TO WISHLIST THO HRMGHH that's a tough one..... cuz i have sm!!! so off the top of my head:

this is rlly general but oooo i want hakuno to go to all sorts of places! she is already someone who is so curious, exploring the world to try to find a place in it. spoiler alert she doesn't but i digress! imagine your muse showing her a place they like... or a by-chance encounter where hakuno stumbles on their little secret spot.... hakuno would be pretty inquisitive because she can't imagine having such an attachment to any place, but i think it'd be real interesting to explore! and also- your muse and hakuno going on a trip somewhere... sightseeing and having fun together mayhaps,, the possibilities are endless so i can't really specify but i just think it's neat! 🥺

"i'd die for you" "i'll live for you" "let's live together" "let's die together" <- whatever those lines got going on!!! not all of them at once ofc (unless things happens and they all apply at some point 👁👁✨️) but just whatever genre this is..... life and death are interesting topics to explore with hakuno – she's someone who can understand what it's like to want to disappear, but at the same time she's someone who's afraid of death. and she wants to love so badly but has no reason to </3 so i wanna explore more of that in general !!! i wanna see her interact muses who share that same mindset... muses who think completely differently.... let them explore what their purpose is... their reason to live... and all that!

tragic love is such a Big Need for meee, i'm a sucker for them!!! and i really think it's so perfect for hakuno!!! i hope everyone knows by now that i love the theme of love for my hakuno 🫶 and like- imagine finally understanding and finding love when you thought you never could, only to lose it... unrequited love? a doomed love story? there are so many ways to go about it, and who the other person might be makes it so much more interesting too, and i just crave it!!

hakuno and a muse working together for something- a relationship founded on ??? like, they just happen to meet and their goals just somewhat aligned so they're sticking together for practical reasons or just circumstances!! will they get to know each other better and come out of it with a good experience? will they butt heads but decide to bear with it until their respective goals are accomplished? idk but something about it intrigues me! i'm really interested in having like a whole storyline happen tbh 🥺 it'd be fun to see how much the relationship changes at the end of things y'know!

i'm gonna need more antagonistic dynamics too tbh.... she is absolutely going to be as polite and nice as she is to any other person because c'mon... it's Hakuno. but! i feel like there's a biiig sense of distance that comes with having this sort of dynamic with her. as we have seen in canon for example, hakuno's really frikkin aware of their status as enemies with other character- she's always saying stuff like "even though we're enemies?" and not understanding why'd be nice to her when she's their enemy... stuff like that!! i mean, enemies to friends or enemies to lovers is def not out of the question ((ФωФ)✨️ ...) but it'd be so fun to see the development!! which i guess is the appeal of those dynamics in da first place !

i love character development ofc but i have always been thinking about- how about reverse character development ?! 😳 hakuno is a suuper interesting character to me because- well, it's like a white sheet of paper! it's blank! i feel like there are soo many directions her character could go and i think it'd be so fun to explore! characters who bring out the worst in each other maybe?? enable each others' bad habits?? and oh boy it'd hurt so much on hakuno's part because she wants to be better and is always wanting the best for others so like (: IT COULD BE FUN METHINKS..!

letter writing threads!! i feel like you can tell a lot about a muse by the kind of letter they write 👁👁✨️ having hakuno write down her thoughts and feelings into paper just sounds super interesting to okok- i'd imagine her letters sounding more like very formal reports tbh 💀 but i think it could be so fun and a really neat way to really get the Insight(TM) on da muse!

speaking of the letter writing tho- something related to arts and humanities! drawing? music? writing? sculpting? dance? anything and everything creative pls. hakuno's way of thinking is very logical so i think she struggles with understanding things that don't really have a solid factual answer, but that's also what makes it so interesting! art can really touch people's hearts too and that's the kind of thing hakuno needs desperately 🥹 even if she can't fully understand it right now ! your muse showing hakuno their creations maybe?? bonus points if their works say a lot about them as a person or means a lot of them!

i'm a sucker for childhood friends so i want that for hakuno too 🤧✨️ !! it doesn't have to be friends in specific tho- i just think there's something special about knowing someone when they were younger :thonk: kids tend to be more honest i guess? and i mean hakuno still is, but for better or worse, the hakuno we now know keeps the "bad" parts of herself hidden away while actively trying to be the person other people need – a younger hakuno wouldn't have that mindset yet methinks! BUT YEA BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING 😳😳 it's fun to see how that could affect the dynamic especially when they meet later on!

OH AND immortal & mortal is a staple! hakuno could work as both tho... it rlly depends on the verse because her mortality is Weird(TM) actually- but i still think both concepts would be very fun!! >:3c with her as a mortal, it'd be Neat for her to want to be remembered because that's asking for a lot when her entire life is probably like a mere blink in the eyes of an immortal </3 and with her as an immortal, i just like the idea of her finding happiness after possibly years and years of loneliness but also being aware that happiness is very much temporary </3

I FEEL LIKE THESE R MORE DYNAMICS AND THEMES THAN SPECIFIC SCENARIOS BC LIKE i wuv...... and i luv scenarios and situations too ofc but i can't rlly specify bc they're all so neat 2 me.!!! your muse and hakuno could literally just go to mcdonald's and i'd be havin a blast writing it GVSMCBSMDH

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

Idk if you’ve already made a list or whatnot but do you have like a top 10 fav ships? From any media or anything, like all time

I'm always happy to blabber about former/current hyperfixations so this question is perfect. This is in no particular order except for the first one, they will always be my #1:

kyoru (Kyo Sohma/Tohru Honda) from Fruits Basket: The 👏🏻 ship 👏🏻 ever 👏🏻 They invented love, their relationship has the perfect development and resolution, they truly love and understand each other and have such amazing character arcs both individually and together. Kyo's realization that he loves Tohru is my favorite episode in the entire show and it's constantly on repeat in the back of my mind: "She didn't erase all my pain or offer to solve all my problems. She didn't fix what was broken, but that's not what I needed anyway. What mattered most was that she stayed."

hualian (Hua Cheng/Xie Lian) from TGCF: Another couple that invented love. I sprinted through these books while season 2 was being animated and the absolute faith and trust those two have in each other is unparalleled. "What matters is you, not the state of you" has been imprinted on my brain. I cried so many times while reading these books, they were amazing, definitely one of my favorite stories ever.

mikayuu (Mika/Yuu Hyakuya) from Seraph of the End: These boys... I'm still actively reading the chapters from this manga despite having no fuckin clue what's going on with the plot all because I'm so invested in these boys. Devoted to each other since they were kids, the epitome of "I'd burn down the world to save you". Everything they do is for each other, they are always each other's first choice in everything. And we got a canon confession which is insane to me. I'll never be over them.

satosugu (Gojo Satoru/Geto Suguru) from JJK: Probably the ship that makes me the most emotional in the worst way. I'm a sucker for a good tragedy and those two fit the mold perfectly. The absolute love they have for each other even after they've split makes me so emotional. If you don't see their relationship as romantic idk what to tell you, you're just blind. Jjk 0 and the Gojo being sealed are two scenes that fuck me up each time without fail. I could rave about them for hours.

itafushi (Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi) from JJK: The boys I'm best known for. Now, I enjoyed them as a ship from the beginning but it wasn't a true "they're everything to me" until the Itadori Extermination Arc. Yuuji's "you'll only be hurt if you're with me" and Megumi's "start by saving me" had me GAGGED. That's when I really started to pay attention and went back and became extremely invested instead of a casual enjoyer. They've always done their best to watch each other's backs and stick together. 216 fucked me up SO BAD, and everything Yuuji has done since them is to try and get Megumi back. They love each other so much, they are the parallel to stsg that will make it. I don't know how anyone can read the manga and not see how much they love each other.

bellarke (Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin) from The 100: This was my SHIP back in high school. I was obsessed with The 100 back in the day and these two were everything to me. Enemies to friends to lovers is my favorite dynamic, and these two fit that bill perfectly. Everything about their relationship was so perfectly set up for them to be endgame and yet the writing for the last few seasons was SO FUCKING BAD that I couldn't even watch the last season. From what I hear, they totally switched up Bellamy's character and he switched up on Clarke so quickly when he's always been her #1 supporter after they became friends. Their friendship was my favorite thing about the show, they truly were each other's right-hand man and constantly looked out for each other. Still pissed about what we could have had.

akiangel (Aki Haykawa/Angel Devil) from Chainsaw Man: Another tragic ship. I cannot wait to see these two animated together. I binge read all of Chainsaw Man (which was like 98 chapters at the time?) in two days and it rewired my brain. The staunch hatred/dislike of each other's kind out of principle to slowly realizing that they actually do care about each other was so good. They have such a subtle chemistry and relationship, it was one of my favorites in the series. Aki reaching out a hand to save Angel and them holding onto each other during the Bomb Girl Arc is probably my favorite scene in the entire manga, I can't wait for them to get their flowers once it's animated.

tododeku (Shouto Todoroki/Izuku Midoriya) from MHA: Narrative foils. What more can I say. These two have so many parallels in their arcs and have such a great relationship. Idk how this ship isn't more popular with how healthy their relationship is and how it started off with such strife. Deku also means so much to Todoroki and you can see that throughout the entire series that their friendship means the world to him. They give each other such a good support system, I adore them.

bokuaka (Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji) from Haikyuu: Simp behavior, the both of them. You don't really see it initially, but these two are obsessed with each other. The Fukurodani v Mujinazaka game was so incredible for diving into their characters and relationship more! Finding out that Akaashi only came to Fukurodani because he saw a cute jock play ONE game was so funny because you don't expect him to be a love at first sight character in the slightest. He and Bokuto work so well together, they balance each other out and understand each other on such a deep level, you can't convince me they aren't in love. They bring out the best in each other and know how to get the other out of their head.

zelink (Princess Zelda/Link) from Legend of Zelda: This is specifically going to be focused on botw/totk zelink because those are the games where their relationship is explored the most, but MY GOD. Those two make me weak. Link is just this autistic/selectively mute dude who's just trying to do his job and Zelda is so jealous of his freedom and ease of being able to do his assigned role without trouble that seeing the development of their friendship/relationship through the memories was my favorite part of the game. Their bond is so strong, they truly become each other's biggest link in the chain of their support system. Totk in particular made me cry multiple times because of the tragedy of realizing what happened to Zelda that imagining what Link must be feeling upon the discovery fucks me up. They never stop fighting to protect each other and never lose faith in each other.

[dies-mercurii]

my jayce playlist has officially hit 50+ songs.... might as well ramble about my favorites and their lyrics!

♡ — ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀʀʏɴx

You used all your words for a quick game Blew it all before you won I speak in cursive, I'm poignant, assertive There's musical chairs in my teeth Poke me to battle, I'll jump on the saddle I'll smile as you fall to your feet

How stupid, selfish baby Don't you battle with my larynx tonight I'll wreck you if you chase me But I'll be silent 'til you cross the line The line, the line Don't you battle with my larynx tonight So crude and selfish baby Don't you battle with my larynx tonight

nevermind how fucking good PORTALS is as an album. the whole song taken as having a sharp and cruel tongue that needs to be tamed is such a vibe for my take on jayce.

♡ — ꜰɪɢʜᴛᴇʀ

Call me fighter, I'll mop the floor with you Call me lover, I'll take you for a drink or two You'll get older, and maybe then you'll feel some control

Roller skate into my view Hold my gaze tonight Hold my baby, I love you See you smile so bright If you truly love me Why'd you train me to fight? If it wasn't in my blood Why do you seem right?

im a sucker for jack stauber's weird music style, no doubt about it. but fighter hits so hard (for a loser that loves jayvik), because isn't it inherently tragic that jayce's enemy is the only friend he ever made? a scientist before a hero, an engineer before a warrior, jayce was never made to fight. someone had to teach him.

♡ — ʜᴏɴᴇʏᴍᴏᴏɴ ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇ (ʟɪᴍᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ)

Does it feel like you've been dancing with yourself? After faring an ocean to an isle of delight Overindulge in an envious revel Confections that spoil over time Once the honeymoon phase is over Maybe our heads will be clear 'Cause love is a water eroded by stone A force as eccentric as yesterday

So what, I'm fucking jealous; why're you so surprised That the one to run their mouth felt deserving of the pride? I've kept my mouth shut for so many fucking years Keeping to myself and masking out of this fear I don't know where to begin Been dancing with my nightmares again Feels like you've wanted to run, run away So I'll cherish another heart

Well that's just the cost of limerance It all feels so perfect for a while I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything But crying's easier in secret, baby I've been flying a kite Learning how to love life once more To know the catharsis of loving again Reminds us of how much we bled

this one isn't directly linked to my main playlist, but its something i listen to often when writing jayce. considering that a main focus of jayce's league canon is that he desires to be a better person and treat others well despite his instinct to put them down due to his own (self-professed) superiority, there's an inherent struggle in going against his nature to BE that better person. not to mention, after viktor's expulsion from the university and back down to zaun, it notably hit jayce very hard, to the point that he became incredibly reclusive and refused to work with others at all. the lyric "learning how to love life once more" just hits incredibly hard. a big part of jayce's arc is to learn how to love people, not just exist alongside them begrudgingly. it's about becoming a decent person and doing right.

♡ — ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ

How long do I have to wait 'Til my lonely days are over? My heart is on the train A bag without an owner

I put myself to bed just halfway through the party I love all my friends but I hate when their eyes are on me I miss being friends with you, but what can I do? What can I do but leave you alone? Here's to you and me And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see The end result of my own reckless impulsivity Could you spare a sec to talk to me?

But what is left to say? Now we see each other plain Why do you pretend You don't know who's to blame?

"a quick fix" says this more plainly about jayce than i ever could.

Jayce had seen this kind of reaction before. Most everyone he met had heard the stories of his legendary hammer and his unyielding heroism. They expected grandeur. They expected humility. They expected him to not be a massive jerk. Jayce inevitably disappointed them.

there's an idea of jayce that people have, someone heroic and nice and humble, but jayce just isn't that person. at his heart, he's just kind of a cunt. he's stand-offish and reclusive and while it's clear he does care about the well-being of others, he prefers it be done at a distance. away from him, so he can keep being left alone. so, as someone who cares FAR too much about his characterization, its another note i like to take advantage of for how i write him. jayce cares about people. jayce isn't really a bad person. he's kindly in the sense that he'd help you, but mean in the sense that'd he'd probably call you an idiot for getting in that mess in the first place. he's not a grand superhero, he's just a guy. one of my favorite things to write, is jayce just figuring out how to be that guy amongst others, and learning to be happy alongside them.

[darkdoverpseeker]

🕊️🔥Hello there! I am a 25+ Enby looking for 21+ partners for some Discord MxM long-term role-plays! I've got a particular OC of mine I'd like to use, and I've got a plot idea running through my head. This leans away from his original storyline a bit, as I'm tweaking him a little to fit into this plot idea. Before I give the idea, I will state that I want this to be majority story driven because I'm a sucker for an amazing plot line with twists and turns. This particular OC is a power bottom, but that's not what I strictly write as! I just have brain rot for this guy.

Please be literate and multi-para/ up to novella when the scene calls for it! Still, quality>quantity. Bonus if you also like Pinterest Boards and playlists! If you are radio silent for two weeks, I will assume you have ghosted me. I personally respond at least once a day to the rp. Communication is essential for success. I am craving active and communicative partners.

((Note: Superpowers will be involved in this story. Whether magical or scientific in nature. People can also be powerless. I will disclose MC is quite overpowered because of their past, which will be explained to you in a Doc, but he still has a few niche weaknesses))

Tropes That I'd Like To Include: Slow Burn, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends w/benefits to Lovers which then will turn into Enemies to Lovers down the line, Everybody Can Die But Him, etc. Other themes/tropes will be discussed in private as well as limits.

Plot Idea: MC is in their early twenties, attending a university designed for those with powers, and YC is a transfer student. This university is also designed to train heroes and bounty hunters. YC immediately hears rumors about the strongest guy in the university and how he should never be messed with, and to avoid at all costs (That'd be MC.) MC has a mysterious and tragic past lurking behind him, and does not let anyone close to him because of it. Eventually, our guys become acquaintances and then friends w/benefits and maybe lovers before the school year ends. Before the school year ends, that's when things take a nose dive. MC's past comes back to haunt him, and he flees the school after causing immense damage to the buildings and murdering hundreds of students. Without any explanation, he leaves YC in the dust. Fast forward some years later, our guys run into each other again, on opposite sides of the playing field. Will MC finally open up to YC, will YC accept him, will MC leave YC behind again, or will these two meet their end?

I will require a writing sample from you, to ensure our writing styles match. I will also give a sample of my writing to you to review. Please heart this ad only if you're genuinely interested and I will reach out to you! Do not interact if this does not interest you.

like if interested!

[findroleplay]

🔥Hello there! I am an Enby looking for 25+ partners for some Discord MxM long-term role-plays! I've got a particular OC of mine I'd like to use. I will state that I want this to be majority story driven because I'm a sucker for an amazing plot line with twists and turns. This particular OC is a power bottom (if there is any smut, there does not have to be). All I ask is please no uwu fem boys or purely submissive personalities, I do not write as or against those types.

Please be literate and multi-para/up to novella when the scene calls for it! At least 3 full paragraphs with detail and description, but flexible to do more when required ~

((Note: Superpowers will be involved in this story. Whether magical or scientific in nature. People can also be powerless! Up to you what you want YC to be))

Tropes That I'd Like To Include: Slow Burn, Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends w/benefits to Lovers which then will turn into Enemies to Lovers down the line, Everybody Can Die But Him, etc.

Plot Idea: MC is in their early twenties, attending a university designed for those with powers, and YC is a transfer student (or transfer professor!). This university is also designed to train heroes and bounty hunters. YC immediately hears rumors about the strongest guy in the university and how he should never be messed with, and to avoid at all costs (That'd be MC.) MC has a mysterious and tragic past lurking behind him, and does not let anyone close to him because of it. Eventually, our guys become acquaintances and then friends w/benefits (Up to you as we go with the flow) and then lovers before the school year ends. Before the school year ends, that's when things take a nose dive. MC's past comes back to haunt him, and he flees the school after causing immense damage to the buildings and murdering hundreds of students. Without any explanation, he leaves YC in the dust. Fast forward some years later, our guys run into each other again, on opposite sides of the playing field. Will MC finally open up to YC, will YC accept him, will MC leave YC behind again, or will these two meet their tragic end?

Please heart this ad only if you're genuinely interested and I will reach out to you!

-

[21yearoldteenagegirl]

A 'Past Lives' review that would collapse the HuntNews style guide from another Asian immigrant who was also once brash and undeservedly unfazed about it all

(and one that you definitely have to have seen the movie + possess a lot of nuanced cultural understanding about the asian diaspora to understand cuz i didn't feel like getting into all that, but this is like 75% not written for news n i do what i want here)

Opening anything to do with writer-director Celine Song with a line from Nicole Kidman’s infamous AMC ad is probably some kind of anti-Asian hate crime. Still, I sat in the center of a Boston Common AMC theater and pledged allegiance to the Australian actress’s slam-poetry sermon that airs before every movie played by the world’s largest theater chain. “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this,” she reminds us — as long as that place is right in between gaudy cuts of “Jurassic World” (the Chris Pratt one) and “Wonder Woman” (the Gal Gadot one).

Heartbreak does not feel good in a place like Celine Song’s “Past Lives.”

“Past Lives” is a just-missed-it love story. On the surface, it’s an unexpectedly funny love triangle between two hot Asians and a white guy (emphasis on guy) for about eighty percent of the film’s beautiful, glorious 105-minute runtime (— seriously, normalize that). The other twenty is a long-form advertisement for Everlane and The Row.

You want Nora and Hae Sung (the two hot Asians in question, and childhood friends reunited decades after Nora’s family emigrated from Korea to the U.S.) to kiss when they reunite, even though you know they won’t. Then suddenly, you think Hae Sung and Arthur (the white guy in question, who Nora met then married) might kiss, just for shits and giggles. This is something Song plays with as soon as the film opens on the odd trio seated at a bar. “Who are they to each other?” a voice off-screen asks. The voice tries out different combinations. They only stop when Nora turns her head and looks directly into the camera.

My friends and I dropped $17 each — no early seat reservation fees because we used Miti’s parents’ AMC Stubs account, still too much money — to see this movie because we saw videos of other people heading in and coming out with mascara streaked all over their faces. It sounded like our kind of Thursday night. I thought the real sucker punch was going to be Nora’s relationship with Arthur. We rally against it casually, even though we know Nora will stay with him, that she doesn’t have a choice not to and even wants it for herself, probably. It’s a lighthearted hatred, the kind you reserve for cartoon villains and communal campus enemies.

“You dream in a language I can’t speak,” Authur tells Nora one night. He’s worried he’s holding her back. You are, my friends and I all willed silently at the screen. I’d had this exact conversation with my own white boyfriend before we broke up. As Arthur warmed up, I think my eyes rolled back into my head and I experienced the kind of out–of-body vertigo reserved for evangelical religious experiences. “You’re not,” Nora and I told them then.

In a way, “Past Lives” cares very little for half of its star-crossed lovers (or, it's bird and the branch it sat on one morning). The film is very much Nora’s story. Nora has a crush on Hae Sung as children. Nora’s family moves abroad. Nora doesn’t look back — until Hae Sung seeks her twenties self out on Facebook. Nora’s the one who has to relearn Hangul in order to keep up their long-distance correspondence, then she’s the one to break it off ahead of her heady writers’ retreat upstate. Sure, Hae Sung is the one who books a flight to New York a decade after the breakup of their vague relationship, but it’s how Nora feels about it that matters.

After all, “Past Lives” is an immigrant story, and Nora is the immigrant in question. Tragically, Arthur seems to be the only person clued into this veiled fact. He’s there, at a distance, when Nora says her final goodbye to Hae Sung and, by extension, to the life she could have had and the person she could — maybe was meant to — have been. And Arthur's ready, at the very end, when her body wracks into ugly sobs over it. I didn’t totally get why I burst into tears too.

Nora’s estranged entanglement with Hae Sung (the in-yun, 인연, of it all) was relatively steady. Calm and certain in the way tugging your own heart out of your chest and knowing it will hurt is, but calm nonetheless. My friends and I rooted against Arthur for a laugh, but we harbored no optimistic delusions about where the pair would end up: Hae Sung in Korea, Nora in New York. It was never going to work.

Later, when we left the theater, we joked about how many couples had come to see the movie — especially sets of that killer duo: the alt Asian girl and her Victorian-looking white boyfriend from Emerson. Surely, this wasn’t the kind of story you wanted to witness sitting next to your own Arthur; it had to be some kind of unwelcome cinematic classical conditioning. Right?

On the train home, we came to the same conclusion. People were crying over this? we’d wondered in our seats. “Past Lives” was almost delightfully humorous, if you could ignore the low gravity of pain thrumming below your pulse. Of course, with unearned confidence like Nora in our senses of self and place, we ate our unspoken words in the last ninety seconds of the film.

Nora landed squarely on her feet in the West as a child. Hae Sung made her look back, slowly first, then all at once, ha-ha. “Past Lives(excruciating)” is a short and bittersweet movie that busies itself with revealing to one born-there-raised-here Asian woman that she didn’t know there were things she should mourn.

I didn’t know either, and the heartbreak does not feel good.

[siempre-bucky]

Balcony

Dympna Devers x Reader

Summary: You managed to get away from one of your father's parties, only to find your forbidden boyfriend reciting Shakespeare in the street.

wc: 1.1k

A/N: so they put West Side Story on Disney+ and I'm such a sucker for Tonight and a balcony scene. I thought it paired really well with our boy Dympna. poorly edited at 2am

tagging the unimind :@mothdruid @waspswidows

The loud music of your father's party was deafening to your ears, the stench of their endless bottles of alcohol stung your nose. Your father's gang, as much as they kept tabs on the ‘heir’, didn’t pay you any attention when you passed them on the stairs. You finally managed to retreat to your room, with a sigh and a soft click of the doorknob the pounding of your head subsided.

Your bed was calling your name like a lullaby, begging you to slide in under the freshly washed blankets and sheets. As you crossed the carpet floor, a slurred voice caught your attention over the pounding bass. The tone was familiar, it had a slight rasp, accent laid on thick. It couldn’t be- “Dympna?” you muttered under your breath, cocking your head to the side so your ear was slightly closer to the open window.

“Juliet is the sun or some shite!” the voice yelled from below.

That sure sounded like him, you noted. Changing course, you walked to the window and took a seat on the small bench you placed there for nights like these. Resting your hands on the ledge, you placed your chin on top of your knuckles and observed your boyfriend.

“Who is…sick…and pale with grief,” the blond slurred, taking a swig from the beer bottle he clutched in his hand. The man in the acid wash jeans stumbled in the alleyway, his shadow cascading on the home adjacent to him. You giggled as he recited the butchered Shakespeare in the yellow light of the street lamps. “Be not ‘er maid, since the ol bitch is envious.”

“Dympna!” you tried your best to keep your voice down as you called for him.

Paudi and your father had been rivals since their paths crossed at a drop quite a few years ago. Enemies were forged that day, but so were lovers. The tragic cliche of two people falling in love when their families swore to have the other killed on a daily basis. Dympna wasn’t like the men that stood in front of him that day; he was kind, thoughtful, he still had a soul in this way of life. “Dympna!” you called out for him again.

Dympna hummed at the light-hearted giggle in your voice, turning around to face you. His pale face broke out into a wide smile, putting his arms high in the air he spoke again, “It is m’lady! It is m’love!”

“What are you doing here?” you questioned as he threw his bottle to the side, letting it fall with a loud crash, “my da will kill you!”

The boy pouts and shoves his hands in his pockets, “Ehm,” he chuckled nervously, “I really wanted to see ya. Missed you, m’love.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and rose to your knees, sticking your head further out the window. “It couldn’t wait till tomorrow, D?”

Dympna shook his head and scrunched his nose at you. His cobalt eyes lingered on the rose-filled lattice that lead straight to your second-floor window. It was almost perfectly convenient that your mom placed the fence there, but she did have a little bird in her ear. You told her you loved the smell of the flowers coming into your open window, but it was really so the Devers boy could climb to your window late at night. “No better night than tonight, Sunshine,” he told you sweetly, “I can come up, yeah?”

“If they see thee, they will murder thee,” you laugh, quoting the play.

Dympna groaned, “I don’t know any more after that! Ya know I hate the fuckin' Shakespeare lad.” He ignored the protests and walked closer to the roses, his eyes never leaving yours, “There’s no other place I’d rather be tonight.”

You looked back at your locked door, making a mental note that you did lock it when you walked in. “Fine! Hurry,” you told him in a hushed tone. The blond hurried up the wall, being careful of the crimson roses you loved so much.

Heat rose to your face as he placed his hands on the window ceil, his face finally right in front of you. The moonlight caressing his soft features mixed with the warm light from your room made a swarm of butterflies erupt around your heart. It was always like seeing him for the first time, his eyes so close to yours, the smell of his cologne reaching your airways. “Hello,” you whisper, a loving smile forming on your features.

The man leaned forward, placing his cool forehead against yours and placing one of his hands on the nape of your neck. You melted into his warm touch, the small callouses on his palm lightly scratching your face. “Hello.”

“So what made you come all the way here and yell Romeo and Juliet at my street?” you asked him as he pulled away, his hand returning to anchor himself on the window.

"I always thought us like them, ya know?"

You snorted and leaned a little closer. The blond matched your action until a small gap was left between you. "Romeo and Juliet?" You questioned.

"Forbidden relationship, feuding families,” he listed.

“Then they both died at the end,” you remind him.

Dympna’s face fell flat as he remembered the ending. Death was something he thought about often; it came with the job, with the family. He thought about your death more than his, the thought of your watchful eyes growing cold and lifeless haunted him late at night. He inched closer, “Tony and Maria… from that movie you like,” he suggested.

“Tony dies at the end,” you tell him as you inched closer.

“Then what will we be?”

“Us,” you whispered, clearing your throat, your eyes shyly looking into his blue ones, “happy, in love… free?”

“Free,” he sighed.

His lips were mere centimeters from yours, coming closer like a magnet, then you heard your mom bang on the door. “Y/N! Yer da wants ya back!” she shouted over the music.

You hang your head low, your forehead grazing the tip of his nose, “Comin’!” You yell back as you turn around to look at the closed door. “I have to go, D,” you said in a softer tone as you turned back around to face him.

He could sense the sadness in your voice, he clenched his jaw and nodded reluctantly. One day. One day you wouldn’t have to say that, one day you’d be by his side away from this town, “Tomorrow, m’lady?”

You smile and press a quick kiss to his lips, “Tomorrow.”

You lingered by the window as he descended the rose-littered lattice, “Dympna,” you spoke out of sheer impulse. His name fell so easily from your lips, it felt so right, and often you’d say it to yourself…just to say it, just to hear it.

“Yeah?” his head whipped up to face you, his questioning face making you smile.

“I-I forgot,” you managed.

The man smirked, “I can stay with ya till you figure it out.”

You giggled and shook your head, “No! Go before someone sees you. Goodnight, D.”

He smiled up at you fondly, “G’night, Sunshine.”

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

Fave 1D fics?

Hello! This was very fun to put together and I really enjoyed my journey down memory lane in doing so🤗 Full disclosure, this list is all fics from 2016 or earlier bc I stopped regularly reading fic around then, but these are my very favorites. These are all either AO3 or PDF links because some have been deleted, and I'm sure I'm missing some (it's hard to keep track when so many have been deleted and my AO3 bookmarks are not as comprehensive as they could be). Happy reading, friend!

Wear It Like A Crown (zarah5, 141k, E): The first fic I ever read in this fandom and it remains my very favorite to this day! Royalty AU in which Louis is part of a team of PR fixers hired by the royal family to spin a photo of Prince Harry getting some with his bestie, Zayn. Enemies (ish) to friends to lovers, grand gestures, tragic backstory, and remarkably well-written communication issues. Zarah is one of the most beloved fandom authors and has written some classics, but this one is my personal favorite.

These Inconvenient Fireworks (mdasch & everydaysalike, 190k, E): The OG fandom classic for a reason. Louis is a drama teacher and Harry, an aspiring photographer, starts coaching soccer football at the same school part-time. Friends with benefits ensue, but there's a lot of angst as they try to figure out what the fuck they're doing and what they really are to each other. Major OT5 feels, funny as hell, heartbreaking - it's everything you want in a fic.

Allies in Heaven, Comrades in Hell (rockinaintnowalkinthepark, 265k, E): Catholic school AU. God, this one just punches you in the dick. I love it so fucking much. Louis and Harry are classmates and Louis realizes he's really into Harry. Unfortunately, his father is violently homophobic, and when he and Harry get together, he's terrified of the possible consequences. Major warnings for violence and homophobia, so if that's not your cup of tea you might want to stay away. I however am a sucker for angst with a happy ending and this fic delivers.

And Down the Long and Silent Street (whimsicule, 89k, M): THIS! FIC! God. I love it so much. Historical AU - Victorian England. Louis is selling newspapers on the London streets when he crosses paths with Harry, a wealthy young gentleman. They start an affair and fall in love, but unfortunately, a serial killer on the London streets is targeting poor young men - in particular, as it turns out, Louis - which complicates things. Plotty, heavy on the hurt/comfort, and keeps you on the very edge of your seat. I reread this one all the time.

Pull Me Under (zarah5, 140k, E): Another Zarah fic and also incredible. This one features Louis as a professional footballer trying to navigate coming out. Liam is Louis' agent, who suggests he be in a long-term relationship to ease the coming out process. Luckily, Liam's boyfriend Zayn has a friend named Harry who'd be perfect as the fake boyfriend. Fake relationship ensues. Beautifully written, also a classic.

Butterfly Gun (eravain, 100k, M): 1940s AU, set around WWII. In 1940, Harry and Gemma were evacuated from London to stay at the Tomlinson farm. Harry and Louis become friends, but as they grow up and learn more about themselves, there's the possibility for something more - except Louis' grandpa is a dick. Harry and Gemma are sent to another home to stay, and after the war, Harry goes back to see Louis in an attempt to rekindle their relationship and see what's actually there. Beautifully written and clenches your heart in the best way.

Coax the Cold (mediawhore, 86k, M): Another Victorian AU, this one featuring professor!Louis, whose focus on the supernatural has resulted in professional ridicule. He stumbles across ads for a circus sideshow that supposedly has a mermaid, so he goes undercover as an employee to obtain proof of the mermaid's existence. He definitely obtains proof, but his goal shifts as he gets to know said mermaid (Harry, obviously) and instead of proving his existence, he needs to free him and keep his secret to protect him.

College AU series (whoknows, 75k, E): This is a two-fic series that's just fun. In part 1, Harry and Louis are in an epic prank war - well, at least Louis is engaged in a prank war, while Harry calmly retaliates. Louis is a fucking menace in this one which I just adore. Dialogue is NEXT LEVEL. Friends with benefits (or at least, that's what Louis thinks it is) that (obviously) becomes a relationship (which is what Harry has thought it was the whole time). The last scene (before the epilogue) is one of my favorites in any fic. Part 2 is pretty much more of the same - sex, banter, and planning for the future.

Give Me Truths (iwillpaintasongforlou, 110k, E): This fic HAS. IT. ALL. College AU! Hurt/comfort! Punk, confident, psych major Louis! Sad Harry! I just! Love it! In this fic, Harry is in an abusive relationship and Louis helps him gather the strength to leave his abuser. In the process, they end up falling in love, and Louis helps Harry regain his confidence and self-esteem. I love this one especially because it was written at a time when the common fic trope was that Louis hates himself and Harry is the manic pixie dream girl who makes it better, so the role reversal in this fic was very refreshing. But it's also just such a good story and so well-written. (And again. PUNK LOUIS.)

Relief Next to Me (dolce_piccante, 333k, E): Okay. This fic is a MONSTER. It's really just 333k words of slice of life as baker!Harry and graphic designer!Louis become friends with benefits and then fall in love. I read this as a WIP (which I rarely do) just because there's barely a plot, they're just having a great time living life and having sex. Chapter 17 in particular is my comfort reread, I just love it SO MUCH.

Love Is a Word, You Gave It a Name (hattalove, 21k, T): Pure fluff, canon compliant. It's Christmas time and the boys are celebrating with their families and each other and getting ready to take a major step in their relationship - that is, publicly coming out. OT5 and family feels all over the place. This fic just gives you such warm and fuzzy feelings and I always smile the whole way through reading it. Also features a reunion with Louis' infamous geography teacher and also him being jealous of Ed Sheeran's cat.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can't Lose (dolce_piccante, 113k, E): College AU in which Harry is an (American) football star for a Texas university and Louis is a dancer at the same school. In everyone's favorite 90s teen flick trope, Harry's friends bet that he can't get Louis to fall in love with him. You can guess how this plays out. It's very fun and especially good to reread during college football season.

[him-e]

So curious about your Witcher Season 2 thoughts and who you ship! :)

As someone who has no context and no idea where the story is going and isn't familiar with either the books or the game, I'm super intrigued and excited for season 3. The scope and stakes of the story are finally starting to shape up and I can't wait to see what Ciri's destined to become and what will be Geralt and Yen's role in this. A few scattered thoughts:

I loved Voleth Meir as the season's big bad and hope to see more of her, but I felt like her arc was done a bit confusingly (though I'll admit I didn't pay enough attention to episode 2 which is crucial to understanding what's going on, so I'll probably rewatch it)

I think the show still has to decide whether it wants to have some monster-of-the-week episodes, or be 100% about the overarching plot. I'd prefer the latter, although this would mean losing small gems like 2.01 (did anyone else love the gothic romance vibe and the spin on the beauty and the beast trope?). Trying to do both makes the pacing a bit weird.

Having Yen be without magic powers for the entire season was a bold choice that I can only applaud. Frustrating, at times, especially because we don't really have a big "gets her powers back and starts kicking ass" climatic moment, but that's part of why it's interesting. We see a different Yen this season - somewhat understated and melancholic, more vulnerable and withdrawn than ever, but we also see how cunning and fearsome she can be even without her magic. This is clearly tragic for her because she shaped her entire identity and purpose around her powers, and sacrificed a lot for them, so her motivation throughout the season is entirely sympathetic.

Both Fringilla and Francesca are ambitious, passionate and ruthless and I loved both the Dinner of Death scene and Francesca going biblical on the Redanian infants. In general I love how this show has so many powerful, unapologetic and morally grey female characters.

Loved the Witchers' Castle Black!

Has anyone started calling Ciri a Mary Sue? Was her training montage long enough to justify becoming accepted by the witcherdudes special club? di d she b l e e d en o u g h?

I just love Ciri ok.

However, it is a bit annoying that Vesemir is only briefly tempted to kill her when she's possessed by Voleth Meir, and quickly comes around. It wouldn't feel so strange if the lesson previously learned, via Eskel's arc, was that sometimes the best and most compassionate thing to do with someone who's been possessed by an evil entity is kill them. I do think the writers wanted to use Eskel as foil to Ciri and as foreshadowing of what would happen to her, but the subtext is a bit messy/confusing here.

I scoffed at poor Roach's death. Unnecessary, sudden and cruel. I wish we'd seen more of Geralt's pain.

Geralt is a soft, soft boi.

I YELLED AT THE WILD HUNT. riders on the storm. YES GOOD.

*

Who do I ship? Well, primarily Geralt and Yennefer, of course. But also Geralt and Ciri (in a weird way: I'm completely sold on their surrogate father/daughter dynamic, but I'm such a sucker for psychic bonds and being each other's destiny). I'm kind of into Fringilla/Cahir and possibly Fringilla/Francesca, and in season 1 I had a brief moment of "what if they kissed?" with Yen and Vilgefortz, but mostly because the actor is just absurdly hot (not especially vibing with him & Tissaia tho).

This season's surprise ship for me was Yen/Cahir - when she freed him instead of executing him and they fled together I was like RELUCTANT ALLIES! ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS! But ultimately, I'm too intrigued by the idea of Ciri/Cahir as enemies to lovers, which I've had since season 1 and hope it's -actually- going somewhere. Yeah, lots of shipping material here. I'm being fed well.