#such mistakes happen in space.
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making star trek art is so funny the second you have to start coloring. like ohoho lemme break out the primary color acrylics for this one... nothing like a cutesy lil colorway to make me feel like a real serious artist...
#i'm joking but i'm not#i'm working on an elaborate 3d piece rn and i just painted everyone’s shirts#(except scotty bc his uh. his leg broke off oops)#and i was just like wow. these sure are some complex shades i'm working with here#(yes i am extra & spent like 5 minutes per color adding different quantities of the other 2 until i was satisfied. no that's not relevant.)#star trek#star trek tos#such mistakes happen in space.
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trying to explain house md's fucked series 8 timeline in my notes app: an essay
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in conclusion: i don't think it helped.
#i completely forgot i had this tucked away in my notes app so thought i'd post it now#i am the kind of person to try & justify in-canon any mistakes the writers make#(bc they happen & that's completely normal. but i am also obsessive and if i don't the fictional world collapses around me)#however this one took the biscuit. it was pretty much impossible to try and explain sadly#i suppose we shall just have to accept that s8 takes place in a space-time wormhole (: & that's okay (:#house md
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#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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Still have no idea how I feel after seeing the ex...
#she came over to my house and started crying saying breaking up was a mistake#(it happened months ago)#(she dumped me)#saying she was in a bad head space and 'wants me back in her life' but I've never gone back to a relationship everrrrr#and like I AM over it but it was so visceral seeing her and she smelled so good and she kept asking if we could talk in my room#And I said no....#idk I meant to talk to my friends but we were watching Inland Empire#which was awesome
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would y'all still think I'm hot if i slammed my head into a wall repeatedly until i started bleeding?
#personal#the autism is autisming today (negative)#i am literally at a point of 1x/wk meltdowns#and ofc they keep happening around important times#and it doesn't help I'm having severe anxiety again about taking up too much space#and it doesn't help that i know exactly what's going on now bc i cant even go “idk what's happening the world is ending”#and it doesn't help that bc of that it's really hard to talk to ppl and feel heard#and it doesn't help that this feeling never will go away even with medication bc I've alr TRIED all that already#and it doesn't help people think i haven't or that i need to be told to talk to a doctor Abt these things even though i AM#and it doesn't help that the only thing that will help this stop is going home and crying my eyes out#and it doesn't help that i cant do that#and it doesn't help I'm busy for the next 3 days#i wholly and truly may bail on my plans tomorrow bc like i cant do this and i cant bail on today's#bc i already feel like a shitty friend to this person cause of a genuine mistake#ugh
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man i gotta make time in my schedule to watch more star trek
#the sun is shining & that makes me... want 2 watch star trek apparently#unfortunately i am so Deep into writing my own silly sci fi stories that i haven't been watching any star trek lately :(#reading is so much easier for me & i do love reading sci fi & i've been doing plenty of that but. i miss star trek :(#such mistakes happen in space.
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[Image description: a digital drawing of thomas and varian from transatlantic hugging and laughing. Thomas is cradling varian's face in his hands while varian's hands are on his shoulder blade and under his shirt respectively. They're both dressed in undershirts and pants and are leaning against a wall covered with framed photos and art pieces. End description.]
I've been trying to decide what made them laugh for days and I have yet to find the answer (did a background noise spook them while they were kissing and they just realized that it was the draft? did one of them say something funny?), so I'll leave it to the rest of the fandom to decide because y'all are excellent at coming up with Scenarios.
#transatlantic#lovefry#thomas lovegrove#varian fry#this is def happening in the cottageTM in my mind. like any kind of space that is their own only#i was honestly going to give up on this completely bcs i tried to do it a week ago and it looked bad to my eyes#but im glad i came back to it and finished it#im rly happy w how the shading came out. i was considering heavier shading but it didnt fit#ik that theyre mostly extremely focused on kissing when theyre kissing but also#laughter amidst intimacy makes me so happy so i had to draw it#there should be space for both passion and joy#dan draws#theres still mistakes but thats ok. It was just fun to do. Art is fun yall#Blorbo art oh blorbo art
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The symbolism in the framing of this shot just gets me every time
#i will probably gif this portion of it at some point#i finally managed to get a clean 4k recording without the gd cape glitch after the kiss#i spent an actual half an hour trying to figure out the perfect moment to space bar#and then miraculously one time it just didn't happen#like incoherent keysmashing this scene reduces me to#like it's just#😭#literal symbol of the republic stretching between them#symbolizing the distance between them#foreshadowing what's to come#but they're also divided within the symbol itself#she's on the fuller half with the tower at the apex of the star#and he's on the short half within the curve of the wings#and he stops at the edge of the symbol#right before he talks about whatever insanity will come next he won't repeat his mistake#saying he'll call#except he doesn't#literally after telling her he belongs with the sis#not at her side#but still#refuses spending any more time with her#just gives her one kiss and walks away#like it makes total sense from his perspective he just wants to go nurse his wounded pride#so the last thing he says before he walks away from her for half a decade#is 'may the force be with you'#a traditional farewell they both grew up with#theron shan x jedi knight#otp: adorkable#this silly spy man#walking away with all of my feels
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Got distracted and I ended up working on my drawing But then I realized a major mistake on it when I thought I was done with the star veil (yes, again. I changed up the stars at the tips of it, this veil is kicking my ass) and I was erasing stuff already so when I realized I'm like: FUCK-- undo undo undo undo und o un do u n d o. And now I gotta... move All those new lil designs at the tip, Again, so I'm like: Okay... alright... I'll do that Later. I'll write now cuz god Forbid I do anything in that design, it's all mistakes!
#aria rants#that star veil has trapped ME in a time loop of perpetually fixing the thing cuz im never done with it like#this is the messiest drawing ive ever done simply by the Amount of mistakes i have on it and the entire process of it like#past aria wasnt lying about the notes she put for me when i was lazy to do the star veil DAYS AGO but she was only thinking#that: haha future me is gonna bead All those lines >:D well lil did she know is that future her aint gonna bead those lines#anymore but the veil is STILL KICKING MY ASS HARDER THAN WHEN I TRIED TO BEAD IT ALL#also the designs at the tip were supposed to just be stars. but then sirius' heart happened and i was like: i need to put morse code on it#and normally id rely on the circle ruler but i alrdy used circles for the Inner beads. i needed a different kind of circle for the tips#and then i managed to somehow??? freehand a perfectly shaped egg so ive just been duplicating layer and moving#that egg cuz aint no way i can redraw that again. the first was a fluke i didnt know was possible. and i also didnt wanna#redraw the lil dash beads i made via the ruler so ive just been keeping two layers with just one tiny drawing each#of an egg and a slanted rectangle and ngl duplicating and moving those things take up way More of my concentration#than when im just doing the lines over and over again cuz i had to keep track of which layer has which and minimize it#by merging the morse code line ive finished (like once im done for the morse code ''you'' id merge that all tgt)#so i can keep myself from exploding out of incredible confusion on which layer is which but Now i gotta redo ALL THAT#i gotta redo the other ''i love you'' morse code at the right end cuz i Forgot. to leave. a space. at the end.#like the left end has a space (star) before the egg for the first dot of ''i'' but i forgot to do that for the right end.......#theres no space (star) after the rectangle for the last part of ''u''....... i need to move All that-- maaaaaaaaaaannnn#writing it is. ill do writing for now. writing is the best. at least then i dont gotta MOVE EVERYTHING once i made a mistake--
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Jee and zuko reconciliation episode I guess
#jee so scandalized about them taking zuko away akdhakdjsk#in the cartoon it was more spaced so it kinda made sense but now suki and yue seem so close together in time that it kinda makes sokka look#bad lmao#iroh playing zhao hell yes akdhsksjsks#after all that sokka just asking why did he break up with his ex... boy....#her** ex oof.... you dont know how many times i make this mistake i blame the spanish use of possessives#did it happen this quick in the cartoon too...#katara needs to be more mad that is true#they said the title.......... no.....#talking tag#watching natla
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also re: Loki occupying all my hopes and dreams right now (for the love of god pls read this current state of Elysium post lmfao) -
it is always very funny to me how the tides shift from main character of the week and onwards. there’s NO rhyme or reason to this it’s just however the cookie crumbles once again the hilarious fickle nature of running a rpverse,, like I have no idea what Chal’s been up to cause I haven’t seen her in a month lmfao???? as reiterated in the linked post i have less than zero control over this cast o characters whomst i singularly write and draw for and physically place words in their mouth - yeah that means nothing i. i’m just a spectator. loki show now it’s fine (truly! just very funny. whiplash)
hey loki + taci (tory & Maci’s couple name) isn’t that just
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#oc talk#taking twitter away from m e was a mistake#listen I’m ALSO waiting to see what happens#fillin up space fillin up space….#womp whomp whomp#eloki#taki fuego
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feel like there's a lot of posts going around lately abt how machines can't crochet & how data startrek would be sad if he heard u say that and yes those posts are totally correct but you guys are like. remembering to keep that in mind at the store right. like i know we can't all tell stitches apart at a glance--but in those instances where you can, you're taking it into account when you determine if a piece of clothing you're about to buy was ethically produced, right? right??
#fiendly reminder that every crochet textile on the planet was made by hand. the cost of that labor should be part of the cost of the item.#there is no unskilled labor#anyway#xkcd comic abt mineral compounds i know i know. but you're putting in the extra few seconds to try. right?#also yes i know data has a last name. i'm trying 2 be accessible to the masses here#such mistakes happen in space.
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Haha lol I love going downstairs and getting yelled at every single time because the dogs go fucking crazy when I come down the steps and I can't do anything to fix that and it makes me want to die because I hate getting yelled at and I can't fix anyfhing and I can't stop the dogs from going fucking ballistic because I chose to go downstairs but god every single fucking bit of progress I makw goes doen the drain every single day amd i might as well just get back into one meal a day and maybe a drink a day because that minimizes the amount of times.im.down there amd minimizes ehen I'm getting yellwd at
#elias.zip#the dogs are too reactive to us coming downstairs but yelling isn't helping. i dont know how to stop that. its annoying sure but jsut fuckin#live with it i guess. youre the stupid fucking idiots who chose this house with none of its soundproofing and your dogs who lived in a trail#er with you for fucking years what do you expect i dont know stop yelling at me!!! stop yelling at me!!!! im small and little and i dont#like it. i don't like when adults raise their voices i don't like the sound of angry yelling i hate being here. im never going to grow up.#im goingto be 9 and trapped in my room forever and a brat and waste of space and a mistake and unplanned and a burden. i wish we never fuck#ing moved in with them. they should've stayed in Florida. They should've chose another place. i hatw it here i hate them. go live with my mo#ms sister or something leave us. i fucking hate everything. i hate living. i hate living here. never going to fucking escape bc im poor and#stupid and i should've gone to university and just left everyone and be forgtten about. im never going to make enough to save myself. i sho#uld just give up because nothing good ever fucking happens. everyone's going to be disappointed in me no matter what i do I can't ever#fucking make anyone in my family like me. im always lying.#whats the point anymore! i dont fucking know.
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ok that’s what I’m posting for now lmaooo
Maybe I’ll try to post things as I make them here, too…but no promises. Even though I used tumblr predominantly for years and years..it feels like a forbidden space now WHOOPS.
#ig that happens when u find out that a lot of ppl in ur last big fandom hate ur ass and#ppl made fun of ur new ship when u posted about here for the first time#like GODDAMN I know it’s the internet but I’m gonna feel weird af about it lmaooooo#at least when ppl were mean to me at TikTok I could laugh it off but tumblr was my safe space for most of my online life on now it’s RUINED#anyway . I do miss my tumblr b0tw days those were really fun#personal#lots of autocorrect mistakes pls ignore them fhfjfhfj
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Being screamed at for things that aren't my fault seems to be a norm in this house
There's cookware scattered an dirty? Guess who gets blamed for it? The exact one that almost never has spoons for cooking in the first place
I live cleaning the trail after me so they won't have any reason to scream at me, but my brother leaves absolute messes behind him and the screams are for me
Fuck off
#momochiiee mussings#then people ask why it's almost impossible to hear me walking around#I've grown used to avoiding at all costs being noticed and leaving anything that can tell I was through there#when I get up from the table I'm always told to put their dishes in the dishwasher as I am putting mine#then the days I'm not around no one fucking cleans the table after themselves and I am still the one that gets called dirty and messy#my room is a mess YES. but the rest of the house isn't my room and therefore Isn't my living space and I must make sure I do not litter#I clean my own room when I have the spoons for it and refuse for anyone else to do it for me. it's my mess and I must deal with it myself#why do they insist I am to blame for their own mess of the kitchen when I barely have the energy to cook once a month???#and it's not like they don't entrust other chores to me#but I digress I'm just mad because I've been blamed for the mess my dad and brother did and blamed on me just because I went there#every time I happen to have the energy to cook they complain about my cooking or blame messes on me even if I handwash & put away everything#it would be nice if they spared a fucking word of appreciation every now and then#I'm not asking them to call me endearingly but at least to not spit on any tiny effort I manage to make... or blame me for their mistakes#I'm starting to see how as soon as I am rendered jobless mid December I'll start to get screamed at again more often#and get the I'm a nuisance treatment because I can't afford basic stuff anymore#it's going to be a long year for sure... but I must put my all on the intensive classes so I can score a good job#If I manage... I will finally be able to get out of here and have my own space without any more screams#and without them brushing off my sensory triggers every time I try to explain how certain things and situations get me anxious af
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I’ve really not been functioning well mentally lately 😔
#I can’t seem to do my assignments and everytime I sit down to I just space out again and again and forget what I was even doing#I missed my bus stop last week and didn’t notice for a while and had to bus back at 11 at night#i made two kind of scary mistakes while driving today that I would usually never make#even an event I wanted to go to I ended up missing because I spaced out and was 20 minutes late and by then they��d left#I kept forgetting what I was doing in the middle of making dinner and talking to my mom on the phone#I haven’t even eaten dinner and it’s 3am and there’s soggy pasta in the pot that I never got to straining or putting sauce on#I have turned in very few assignments and I keep getting zeroes and I’m pretty sure I flunked a midterm because I couldn’t focus when I#tried to study#I’m worried I’ll genuinely fail out of college this time but I don’t want to leave bc I at least sort of have friends here now who is miss#*I’d#people keep recommending me like focus apps and setting timers and stuff but I forget about those too#I just feel like I’m on a completely different wavelength like I’ve procrastinated before but this is different#like I don’t even remember that I’m supposed to be doing something until I suddenly remember and start to do it and then I forget again#this has never happened before I don’t know what to do#personal
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