#live with it i guess. youre the stupid fucking idiots who chose this house with none of its soundproofing and your dogs who lived in a trail

[theood]

Haha lol I love going downstairs and getting yelled at every single time because the dogs go fucking crazy when I come down the steps and I can't do anything to fix that and it makes me want to die because I hate getting yelled at and I can't fix anyfhing and I can't stop the dogs from going fucking ballistic because I chose to go downstairs but god every single fucking bit of progress I makw goes doen the drain every single day amd i might as well just get back into one meal a day and maybe a drink a day because that minimizes the amount of times.im.down there amd minimizes ehen I'm getting yellwd at

[annisassintchaska]

bestie can I request toto with a black!femreader? he’s just so daddy😩that video of him surfing?! *debby Ryan hair tuck* got me all in my Toto feels😪

Idiot: Toto Wolff x Black!Reader

TW: Cursing, Slapping (non abusive!)

The morning had just started as the sun had risen, lighting up the bedroom that belongs to the Wolff family, Y/n and Toto. Y/n was never one to be excited about mornings as she would rather sleep through the morning and work through the evening into the night; however she knew that staying in wouldn’t get the chores and multiple emails waiting for replies done so she dragged herself up and into the bathroom for a shower.

Upon her return from getting dressed and walking around the house to collect the things she needed, Y/n noticed that her husband who should’ve been at home with her wasn’t in the house yet he left his phone on the counter in the kitchen. Dropping everything in the living room, she went out to the sides of the house, to the garden in the front and had gotten no sight of her husband, she made her way around to the back thinking that he might’ve been relaxing at the poolside or even on a conference call with the team, but dear Lord was she so wrong.

Y/n walked out to find her significant other down at the sea, surfing his heart away with the widest grin mixed with concentration on his face. She was so mad at him yet did nothing as she watched him endanger himself even worse than before as his eyes caught hers and after a couple of minutes, his surf was over and he was on his way to get cleaned up.

Returning to the house walking with his crutches, Toto wasn’t surprised when he was met in the living room by his infuriated wife who was glaring at him from across the room. “Hey schatz, did you sleep good?” He asked trying to distract her from being upset. “Yes I did in fact sleep good. Thanks for asking, but you know what didn’t feel good? The fact that my husband seems to be out to give me a fucking heart attack by doing some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever witnessed on this planet called Earth. Why the hell would you go surfing while injured?! First you went bike riding, now you’ve got a broken arm and leg-mind you this isn’t the first time! Your forearm and leg are in braces for Christ’s sake! If you fell into the water your ass wouldn’t be able to fucking swim! What is wrong with you?! Why do you keep trying to kill me before my time?! I’m way much younger than you but it seems you want me to leave this world before you, huh?!” Y/n scolded her husband as she spanked him on his good arm with her hands.

“Schatz I’m sorry. I really didn’t think your mind would go that far, I thought of it as a harmless morning surf” Toto explained but it fell on deaf ears to his wife who noticed him wincing everyone he moved an injured body part but chose to keep silent. “You see, this is why women live longer than men cause y’all just jump into anything without weighing the pro and cons. You literally have surgery in a few weeks and it’s like you want to make your injuries worse than better so guess what, maybe I’ll call and have them cancel the surgeries, yeah?” Y/n replied sarcastically as he sat down on the couch to rest while Y/n went to start the laundry.

An hour and a half later, Y/n was sat on one end of the couch with her laptop in hand typing away, while Toto sat at the other end obviously now feeling the painful effect of his stupidity from earlier. “Y/n/n my leg hurts!” He whined as Y/n only looked at him briefly before shaking her head and refocusing on her task. “Y/n I know you heard me, please help me. My arm and my leg are hurting! The pain sticks!” He cries this time as tears poured from his eyes, showing that he very well regretted his past decision.

“I’m sorry Mr.I can do anything no matter my condition, I am unable to assist at this time as I’m on my lunch break” Y/n sassed at him. She allowed him to wallow in regret for a couple more minutes before she got up to get his medications and the necessary items to help with the pain. “Here, take a bite of this. Swallow the pills, then you finish eating it.” Y/n instructed as she iced and elevated her husband’s swelling leg. Toto did as instructed and rested his head after everything was done while he waited for the pain to subside.

After a while the pain had been fully gone and Y/n was now resting next to him as they watched some Tom and Jerry to occupy their time. “Thank you schatz for your help, your patience, your love and your kindness. I know that I am a lot of work but you manage me so well.” Toto expressed as his wife listened calmly on the verge of sleep. “You’re welcome sweetheart. I just hope that you’ve learnt your lesson and that something like this will not happen again?” She inquired from her husband “Of course not darling, I promise to stress you a little less. I love you” he giggled out his answer “I love you too you idiot” Y/n joined his giggle in reply while peacefully falling asleep, knowing that no matter what he promised, she would still be getting regular heart attacks in the future all because of her love for him.

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

a/n if anybody actually reads this dm me so i can set our wedding date

It was that awful time in Long Island in late fall where your sweaters suddenly became too thin for the frigid air, and you would quickly overheat the minute you put on a proper jacket. You could feel yourself getting snippier with people, like when your friend in your community choir asked how you were doing and you snapped out "I can't fucking do this right now." You were well aware you were being a bit cunty, but your cheeks were stinging and your hands were going numb.

Jimmy Bartlett conveniently chose this time of year to come home, something that was just so like him that you almost couldn't bring yourself to be annoyed at it. You were annoyed, but you almost weren't. You were annoyed with his stupid face and that dumb grin he always had on or the cigarettes seemingly always lodged between his idiot lips. Fuck him, you thought, I can't fucking do this right now. That was the only thought you could parse out as you lied face down on his childhood bed.

“I need a five letter word for a kind of bond in chemistry.”

“You do crosswords now?”

He nudged your leg with his foot and you pressed your face deeper into his pillow.

“Yeah, the army likes people who can spit out useless trivia at a moment’s notice.”

You hummed softly, staring intently at his Patton poster on the opposite wall. "It's 'ionic.'"

"See, was that so hard?"

"Y'know, most people would say 'thank you.'" Jimmy reached over and gently fiddled with a stray bit of hair that had fallen in your face. He swished over your nose before tucking it behind your ear.

"You warming up?" He brought his hand up to feel your cheek. Grumbling, you rolled over onto your back. His mother had caught you as you were walking up the driveway and, in an effort to be polite with the woman whose house you have been visiting for upwards of a decade, you had let her grill you about your life, your job, your siblings, and so on until you felt like the chill would never leave your bones, no matter how warm Jimmy's room was. Your face burned against his knuckles, and as if you couldn't be any more of a cliche, you shivered in spite of the warmness you felt behind your cheeks. This is so pathetic, you thought ruefully. You and Jim sat firmly in the 'too close to be friends' category of relationships, so it wasn't like he's never touched you like this before. Sure, to the general public you were childhood best friends, but they didn't have to know that when you both got tipsy you had a tendency to get a little handsy with each other, or that one night you two had hooked up in the confessional at his church (not that you particularly cared about being sacrilegious).

He let out a hyena laugh. "Guess not."

"Fuck you." You scrubbed your hand over your face. Still chilly.

"I'm gonna get a house with a wood stove," he returned to his crossword, "Y'know, when my tours are up and my bones are too fucking brittle for service."

You rolled over until your cheek was resting on his shoulder. "4 down is 'aloof'"

He penciled it in. "You'll be there, too."

"Will I, now?"

"Mhm."

"As what, your nurse?" You poked at his side. "Thinking of getting yourself blown up overseas just to keep me around?"

"Nah, I'm thinking of hauling you up to the alter myself. Forcing you to marry me." He didn't notice the way you tensed, too busy leaning down to kiss your neck. You knew he was just messing around, but your brain was too busy sending you flashes of you and Jimmy and the phrase 'domestic bliss.' It was all too fucking much. "Get you out of seven nights a week of your mother's fucking green bean casserole."

"I don't live with my mother." That gave him pause. "I'm an adult, I have a normal apartment where I live a normal life." The fucker bit into your neck, lightly but still. "You're gone for most of the year, and my world doesn't revolve around you and your shitty marriage proposals."

"It should."

"Fuck you." You shrugged him out of where he had burrowed into the crook of your neck. "One of us has got to fucking grow up sometime."

"I thought you liked me because of the, I don't know, fucking whimsy I bring into your life." You snorted. "I know you're an adult. Fuck it, you've been more adult than my fucking parents have been lately."

"If you're gonna get Oedipal with me I will fucking leave."

"No- fuck, that's not what I meant." He sat up, facing you. "I don't want to marry you."

"Good."

"I just... there's shit going on with my parents that is fucking me up, and I don't want you worrying about it because you're a fucking adult and I know you've got your own shit to deal with, and my brother is going through shit that's adding onto my pile of shit and-," he paused to rub the frustration out of the corner of his eye. "You know this."

"Of course I do."

"Of course you do." He huffed out a long sigh, as if he hadn't had the chance to breath for the past few minutes.

"Listen," you started, reaching out to brush your fingers along his forearm, "I'm not interested in... contorting myself into whatever I think you want me to be at the drop of a hat. I love you, but I can't do that anymore."

"I don't want you to." He took your hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb up and down the meat of your palm.

"I know. I just..." You paused. "For the longest time, it was you and me. That was a while ago, it's not like that anymore, I get it. That period of our lives ended after high school, and I don't blame you for enlisting, I'm so proud of you. But whatever we had back then, it's different now. You're not here most of the time, and I've got a job and hobbies and bills and problems that I deal with when you're not around. So, whatever we are... I'm okay with keeping it as it is. But if there's going to be anything more..."

Jimmy moved his head down to catch your eyes, not letting go of your hands. "More?"

Did you want more? You hadn't really considered it before. 'More' had always been holding hands while he shopped for Christmas presents, the way his hands shook when you drunkenly kissed him for the first time, the heavy breathing coming from the both of you during late nights that would swiftly be swept under the rug the next morning. Were you even allowed to ask for more than that? Jimmy had a way of making you feel greedy, downright gluttonous.

"I have to go to work." You slid your hands out of his firm grip, ignoring the pang you felt in your chest.

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight."

"I'm working a double."

"Breakfast tomorrow, then." You moved around the room, collecting your things, saying nothing. "You're right, things are different. You're always fucking right." You put your water bottle in your tote bag. "I want to see you tomorrow." You checked to make sure your keys were still in your bag's inside pocket. "I want you to want to see me."

You sighed. With your bag under your arm, you marched the couple yards of distance between you and Jimmy, grasping him by the sides of his face and mashing your lips onto his. He responded in kind, one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck, not enough to keep you in place but enough to remind you that he was there. He let you go when you pulled back.

"Breakfast."

"Uh huh."

"Tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"You're picking me up, and don't you dare be late."

"Yes ma'am."

You turned out of his room, slipping on your gloves. "We'll figure this out."

"Don't freeze!"

[talesofstyles]

Reconcile II

Ok so I know that I wrote the first part with reader insert, but after many, many attempts to keep it that way, it just didn’t work with this one. So I’d like for you to meet Emma. This is my first time writing with OC and wow game changer. I love her and I hope you do too!

Also, I honestly can’t thank my beta queens enough @oh-honey-styles @for-fucks-sake-h 🥺💛 thanks for allll the comments and suggestions and nice words!!! ily both xx

Read part I here

Harry

“So… are we okay now?”

We’re sitting here on the sofa, finally having that very much needed father-daughter date. Granted, a movie night in was not what I had in mind. I wasn’t too thrilled when she said she wanted to just go back home after we dropped George at his classmate’s house for a birthday sleepover. I thought she would hole up in her room instead and ignore me. But she didn’t. I got us pizza for tea, and we’ve got Shrek 2 on the telly. Her animosity towards me disappeared just like that after she asked for a puppy the other day. Of course, I’m glad to have my happy-go-lucky daughter back, but deep down I know that we need to have a proper chat. The change in her behaviour is so abrupt that I know there’s a chance that my daughter is still bitter with me deep down. And that won’t do. I can take a lot of things, but my daughter’s resentment is not one of them.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” she nods as she takes a bite of her pizza. “You’re still getting me a puppy right?”

“I still need to talk to your mum about it, poppet,” I tell her. “Puppies need a lot of attention. It’s going to be hard work and that puppy is going to be a permanent member of our family. We’ve really got to think about it before we decide.”

I expect a little excitement knowing that her mum and I are really considering getting a puppy. But what I get is quite the opposite. My little girl’s gaze drops, her face slackening. Her voice cracks a little when she mumbles, “except… we’re not a family.”

I wince, realising how serious the effect our split has on my daughter. Despite Emma and I putting on a friendly, united front for our children, Minnie is still sad that her parents are not together. 

“Of course we’re still a family,” I assure her, pulling her to me for a comforting side hug. “I’m still your dad, mummy is still your mum, and you and George are still the lights of our lives.” 

“But you and mummy aren’t together anymore,” she points out bitterly. “And you live so far away from us now. I miss having you at home.”

“I know, my love,” I murmur gently, and turn sideways so she can see my face. “It’s killing me too. But you never know what the future holds, right?”

“I guess,” she says glumly.

I wish I can tell her that I’m trying to win her mum back so we can be together again, but I know I can’t do that. This is far too early. I don’t want to get her hopes up in case I’m not successful in convincing my wife to give me another shot. That’ll only break her heart all over again.

Thinking back, I realised that this is the first time we have a proper chat about our split. I fled to LA the next morning after my wife asked me to leave our marital home back in London, leaving her to sit down with our children to tell them that I was not going to live there anymore. I was shocked and angry because I had no idea what I’d done. I thought we were fine. There were no fights leading up to that. I still remember exactly what I told her. ‘You’re the one who wanted to end it, you tell them.’ And then I left.

Just like that. Without a fight.

I swear to God, it’s something that I would never be able to forgive myself. 

“How’s your mum?” 

“She’s sad,” Minnie sighs. “She cries a lot. She thinks we can’t hear her in the shower, but we can.”

Knowing I caused that physically hurts. I rub at the throb of pain behind my breastbone and I think about all those private tears I shed through it. The ones you hope are hidden and silent.

“Can I ask you something, daddy?”

“Anything, poppet.”

“Do you still get sad too?”

I’m not sure how much to divulge here. Does my daughter need to hear that I stopped eating? That I once cried in the loo at Cafe Habana, and once had to be fished out of a bath by Jeff after I turned into a human prune? I was sad. I still wear that hat. 

“I do. It’s the end of something, that’s always sad.”

“I think mum is dating someone,” she says and my eyes widen. “She told us Luke is her friend, but I think he’s her boyfriend. They’re on a date now, aren’t they?”

I can try and deny it, but I know my daughter is smart and won’t buy anything I tell her.

“What do you know about boyfriends?” I tease, my attempt to lighten up the mood. 

“I’ve just turned nine, I’m not stupid,” Minnie rolls her eyes. “‘Sides I’m thinking about getting one of those boyfriend thingies.”

I sit there slack-jawed, and my daughter roars with laughter.

“Minnie Alexandra, you’re going to drive me to an early grave, you know that?”

“Hey, what are you middle naming me for? I was joking!” She says, still laughing as she picks a piece of pepperoni off her pizza.

“How do you feel about your mum dating again?” I ask her.

She pauses. “I don’t know yet. As long as he’s nice and doesn’t put me under the stairs…”

“I’m sure he won’t. In the attic maybe,” I joke.

She laughs again. I’m thinking about keeping that bloke in the attic so my wife won’t date him anymore. Or even better, six feet under my patio. That’ll do.

“It’s gonna be okay, right, dad?”

Honestly, I’m not sure. But I don’t have the heart to tell her that.

“Yeah, Min. It’s gonna be okay.”

***

I see the headlight shining into the front windows as I walk down the stairs from tucking my daughter into her bed. That must be Emma and her date. I pull back the curtain a little to peek outside, and I’m right as I see that bollockface’s car in front of the house. 

You know that saying; curiosity killed the cat? Well, in my case, curiosity fucked me with a chainsaw. 

I’m a bloody idiot. I should have just closed the curtain back as soon as I recognised the car. I mean… it’s the end of a date. What did I expect to see? A high five? I knew I was so sure when they left that he would not be getting anything more than a friendly kiss, but that date must have gone really well, because right now, my eyes may as well fall out of their sockets as I see that bastard’s tongue down my wife’s throat. 

I’m frozen. I’m gripping the curtain so tight that my knuckles are turning white. I stand there—stunned. Watching. I’m not even sure for how long. It does feel like forever. Like an eternity. 

In hell.

And then Emma pulls back, and everything seems like a blur. I have to remind myself that my daughter is sleeping upstairs so I won’t go apeshit and knock that wanker square on his arse. 

I’m still glued to the floor by the door. I’m too shocked to move. I hear the sound of keys rattling before the door swings open, and she looks surprised when she sees me.

And all hell breaks loose.

“What the fuck, Emma?!” She jolts at hearing me shout. I rarely did it. In fact, I’m not even sure if I’d ever yell at my wife before throughout our marriage. “You told me last night you’d never even kissed him. You told me you weren’t ready.”

“I- I don’t know. He caught me off guard. That was-”

“I told you I wanted to make this work,” I remind her, trying to lower my voice so I won’t wake my daughter up. She doesn’t need to see this. “Us. Our marriage. I told you I wanted to fight for you. But I can’t do that with someone shoving their tongue down my wife’s throat, can I?”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I see her tear up and I immediately feel regret. That was harsh. But before I can apologise, I can see her lip curls up and I know she’s about to get nasty. It’s a rarity with her when we’ve fought in the past, but I feel it coming.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” She sneers. “You think that if you put a toy down, it’ll still be sitting there when you want to play with it again.”

“That’s-”

“You have no right to be upset at me. We’ve split up for nearly a year now. What I do and what I don’t do on my dates is none of your business.” 

“I want us to give our marriage another shot,” I say in exasperation. “I want to try to win you back, but fuck’s sake you’re not even giving me the time of day.”

“Oh, look how the tables turned,” she taunts. “Sucks, innit? Being the one struggling to find the time when it seems like the other doesn’t give a crap?”

“Cheap shot, Ems,” I retort.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it, H?” 

Emma averts her eyes, her lower lip quivering. I can’t tell if she regrets her harsh words or not, but she doesn’t look back my way, and she seems to have said her piece.

I knew sooner or later this was bound to happen. We never had our big fight, not even that night when she decided that enough was enough.

“I cannot possibly go through that again. It physically hurts,” she says softly. “I know I was the one who ended it, but when you just left like that the next morning without so much of a fight as if ten years means nothing to you… that really did hurt. You left me alone to talk to the kids about what happened. And sure, you did call every day. But it took you nearly nine months to finally come and see your children?”

“I needed some time. Some space,” I tell her. “Do you think it’s easy for me being there? Away from my wife and kids?”

“You chose to be there.”

“You know I couldn’t stay in London,” I murmur. “It’s too hard. At least in LA sometimes I can just pretend that everything’s okay. That we’re okay. That my wife and kids will be there waiting for me when I get home. I can’t do that in London.”

“That’s a shit excuse and you know it,” she mutters.

“I still love you, Em,” I say with a sigh. I know trying to defend myself further for what I did will get me nowhere. “We can fix this. We can be a family again.”

“Harry, it’s too late.”

“Is it him?” I can’t help but go there, because that’s a possibility. “Do you love him already?”

“Luke is a fresh start for me, H. I may not love him now but at least it doesn’t hurt looking at him. It took me months to be able to get back up again, to get to where I am right now. To finally find a little bit of peace.”

Emma’s head hangs low, and she rubs at her temple with her fingers. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms. But by how stiff her spine is, I can tell she wouldn’t come willingly. 

“I’m sorry, Emma,” I whisper, resigned. Tears well up in our eyes. There’s nothing I can say that will change her mind because we’re not seeing eye to eye. She’s still focused on the past, not that I blame her because I did hurt her badly, but I know that there is no way we can go anywhere if she can’t see past the harms I’ve caused in the past.  “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago,” she says, her expression softens. Her thumb runs at a part of her finger where a ring used to be. “Now, I just want us to try and make this separation work. Focus on the kids. Let’s do the right thing by them.”

I nod.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“When did it all start?” I ask, my voice cracks a little. “When did you start feeling like you’re invisible to me?”

“I’m not sure I can point down to one exact moment,” she takes a shaky breath and pauses. “The change was gradual that by the time I realised it, I didn’t even recognise us anymore. I spent days and nights wondering what happened to us. That wasn’t us.”

I wipe that one tear running halfway down her cheek, and as soon as my thumb touches her skin, I lose it. I can’t help it by this point. Tears flow as much as I try to hold them back. She’s crying too. This is painful. 

“And it’d be too easy to say that I felt invisible,” she continues. “Because the truth is, I felt painfully visible. You ignored me on purpose. I wasn’t even sure what I was to you anymore, because the only chance for me to get your attention was by getting you in bed. And that was wrong. It hurts, because it felt like you only needed me to warm your bed.”

I want to deny that statement. I want to yell it’s not true. That I never intended to take her for granted. That she still makes my heart skip a beat like a bloody teenager seeing his first crush. 

But I don’t.

Because she’s right. I’m not sure what happened either, but we’d changed. Maybe it’s our jobs, maybe it’s the endless responsibilities. Domesticity, children, they wore us down. Kisses became perfunctory. Hugs became less frequent. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time I took my wife for a date night other than for social obligations.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her again. I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising to her if I have to, she deserves it. “I hurt you badly. I really am sorry, Emma.”

“It wasn’t all you though,” she mumbles. “I never called you out on it.”

“You didn’t,” I reply. “I never worked out why?”

“I swept it under the carpet because it was embarrassing. It felt silly having to ask for your attention. And I don’t know… pride, maybe? And the kids. I didn’t want them to know something was wrong. So I played along and carried on like nothing was happening.”

“When really…”

“It was like a punch to the guts each time. You were an excellent father. You still are, the kids adore you. This may sound insane and it’s embarrassing and painful for me to admit this, but there were times when I saw you with the kids and I couldn’t help but feel jealous. When you couldn’t even be bothered to look at me… it felt like you took a dump over all my love for you.”

“Emma…”

“I wish I could get past that. I wish I could just forget what happened and trust you again.” 

I bring her in for a hug and say nothing. She needs to get this all out. This is part of the process, and I’m here to listen. 

But where do we go from there?

Reconciling a broken marriage is tricky. I am not a violent person but I have never wanted to strangle people as much as I want to strangle those who wrote articles with countless advice regarding this subject, making it seem like it’s easy. Talk it out, get your point across, and you’re out of the dog house. Well, you know what, bollockface? It turns out that listening is not enough. Sod you and your dumb articles. 

All I know is that I can’t rush this. She’s not ready, and that’s okay. Right now, we both have things to work on. She needs to learn to let go of her resentment, and I have to learn not to take anything and anyone for granted ever again. This is killing me, but there is no one to blame but myself. I take solace in knowing the fact that I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Maybe one day we’ll be back together. Maybe we won’t. 

“Thank you for telling me all that,” I mumble against her hair. 

“Thank you for listening,” she looks up and gives me a sad smile.

***

Emma comes from a big family. 

There’s Jamie, her eldest brother and the only guy. I think the fact that he grew up surrounded by sisters was what made us the closest in the first place. He hates wine, even though he makes a career out of managing his own vineyard. I know, the irony. The next is Suze, sister number one who lives in Sheffield with her husband and three girls. Suze and her husband are both orthopaedic surgeons. Then my wife, the middle child. Then Meg, sister number two who just had a baby. It’s another girl so my George is still the only grandson in the family. And then Lucy, the youngest of the clan who’s still in university. 

They all live nearby, and I knew that all my in-laws hated me a tiny bit for taking their daughter and sister away. They were a hard outfit to infiltrate. You don’t enter into a relationship with one of them, you get a whole gaggle of them. It was hard to get in, but once you’re in, you’re in for life. 

After we’d split, I called my parents-in-law the next morning just before my flight to LA. I wasn’t sure whether or not Emma had told them about what happened, but I felt like it was the right thing to do. After all, they’d become my parents too for a decade. So I explained and apologised. Of course, I didn’t tell them the details because I knew they were between Emma and me, and they respected us enough not to ask. They were upset, but they also understood that these things happen in life. All they wanted was just for their grandbabies to come out of this unscathed. 

Now here I am, walking behind Emma and our children as we step over the threshold into her parents’ home for their monthly roast. Her parents invited me and I accepted. I don’t want to turn down any extra time I have with my kids as I’ve decided to leave today and head back to London. I was prepared to stay longer, take some time off work and fight for my marriage, but since it all has gone to pot, I figured I should leave. The world doesn’t stop even when you’re struggling with marital woes. I’ve got work to do, and I also know that it is best to give Emma space. 

I hear voices as we walk inside.

“If littl’uns are going in highchairs then what’s that extra space for?” I hear Meg’s husband say.

Meg tells him. “Count again, addition was never your strong point.”

“Oh.”

The house is suddenly quiet when they see me. This is my first time seeing the whole family again after we split, and even though my parents-in-law and I are on good terms, and Jamie too, I know the sisters would be a different story. All four of them are beyond close and they’re now looking at me as if they should’ve chucked me in the oven instead of the chicken.

You don’t do that to our sister. You hurt one, you hurt all of us. 

“Uncle Harry!” Freya shouts in excitement. She is one of Suze’s daughters. She and her twin sister Tessa are only a few months older than my George.

Suze, who is sitting on the sofa, looks a bit sullen, not knowing what the right call is to make. Meg and her husband freeze. 

“Alright there, mate?” Jamie greets me, trying to ease the tension. Suze glares at him.

“Are you here to do magic then, Uncle Harry?” Tessa asks. 

I bend down to her level. “Not sure I know any magic, Tessie.”

“Yeah you do!” Freya pipes up. “Because when we were driving here, daddy said you did a disappearing act on Aunty Ems. Show us what you did!”

“FREYA!” Her dad barks.

Meg can barely contain her giggles.

“But we like magic. You’re rubbish at magic,” she says to her dad. He widens his eyes. 

The sisters are now all smiling smugly, knowing a couple of six-year-olds just shamed me on their behalf. Extra roast potatoes for those two.

Lucy, the littlest sister, suddenly enters. That’s definitely not a happy face. “Oh, it’s you. Is that why everyone went so quiet? What are you doing here?”

“Luce,” Emma mutters.

“Because I invited him,” says a voice emerging from the kitchen. My father-in-law. “Harry, glad you could make it.”

“Of course,” I reply. “Thanks for the invitation.”

Lucy stares daggers at her dad, knowing she can’t unleash her trademark rapier wit as she’s surrounded by her little nieces and nephews. That one may be the youngest but she’s the scariest out of all the sisters, my wife included.

“Look, if it’s weird, I can just leave?” I offer.

“Nonsense, you must stay for supper,” Emma’s mum replies.

“Yeah, Harry, stay,” says Emma’s dad, staring at his daughters. “I want you lot to be nice. Otherwise, I’m putting you on the kids table. You hear me?”

The three of them nod in unison. 

“You two look well,” I say, my attempt to make small talk. 

“You know, dad’s been singing this morning,” Emma’s mum chirps, tilting her head towards her husband. “He joined a male choir. They think they’re Westlife.”

We all can’t help but laugh. This is classic mum. The tension seems to ease away. 

Let’s just hope it stays that way.

***

There’s a strange feeling of déjà vu as I take a seat on the steps in front of the cottage. 

I’m all packed up and ready to go. My weekender bag is in the boot of my car. Nothing left to do but say goodbye to my wife and kids, but I don’t go straight inside. 

Not yet. I need a moment.

These steps witnessed a lot of our marriage even though we’d never stayed here for longer than a couple of weeks at a time. We loved to sit out here in the summer. I remember when I first brought my stuff here shortly after we got married, we sat out here with beers, sleeves rolled up, boxes stacked into Jenga-style columns. 

I also remember sitting here last year on Christmas morning. Emma and I were both in our pyjamas and slippers, sipping coffees out of our matching Christmas mugs. We watched the kids ride their new scooters up and down the street. Everything was perfect. I had no idea that my marriage would end in just two months after that.

“Harry?”

I look over my shoulder and I urge her to sit beside me. She comes over and does just that. There is silence. We don’t say a word to each other. A quiet hum of traffic in the distance, puffs of breath cloud the air making me think we should both be wearing coats. Christmas is nearly here again. My heart aches at the thought of this being our first Christmas since everything fell apart.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

“I should be the one apologising, Em.”

“I know you wanted to work things out,” I hear the sadness in her voice. “I really loved you, you know that, right?”

“I do,” I nod. “Our marriage, all those years… it wasn’t all bad, though, right?”

“Of course,” she quickly replies. “We had our moments. We have Minnie and George.”

We pause, letting that sink in. In all this mess, those two were and remain everything, some symbol of our marriage not being a complete disaster. 

“There were also times when you were a good husband,” she adds.

“Why do I feel like you’re going to pat me on the head?”

Emma laughs under her breath.

“Your new bloke seemed a nice sort,” I tell her, because it’s true. I may hate the guy with a burning passion, but that’s only because he’s dating my wife. 

“He is.”

“That got legs?” I ask her.

“Possibly.”

“I want you to be happy, Ems,” I tell her. “With or without me.”

“Harry…”

“But I also want you to know that I’ll be waiting for you. No rush, no timeline. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Because for me, it’s either you or no one else.”

The front door opens and two little faces pop out from behind it.

“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” Shouts Minnie.

“Well then come here and give me cuddles to warm me up,” I tell her.

Emma and I take a kid each. She takes George and lets him entangle his legs in hers, cradling himself into the hook of his mummy’s arm. Minnie uses me like a climbing frame. I bop her on the nose as I’ve done since she was a baby, and I like that it never stops being hilarious to her. The sky starts to dim, trees casting shadows onto the pavement. A house down the road has some festive lights that switch on and flicker on and off in strange syncopated patterns.

“This is nice,” Minnie mumbles. “I miss the awesome foursome.”

“The awesome foursome, huh?” I ask.

“That’s what you used to call us,” I hear the sadness in her voice and my heart aches. I know she feels this all a lot more than her little brother. “I still remember.”

“Do you really have to go again, daddy?” George looks at me with sad puppy dog eyes. 

“Yeah, do you?” Minnie asks. “I love having you here.”

“I do, my loves,” I reply sadly. “Be good for mummy, alright? I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“I don’t like seeing you go,” George mumbles.

The emotion is a little unbearable and I see a tear trail down my wife’s cheek. George looks petrified seeing his mum cry. 

“Don’t be sad, mummy.”

“I’m not sad,” she shakes her head, quickly wiping the tear off her cheek. “I’m just sorry daddy and I couldn’t make it work.”

“Did we do something wrong?” George asks, looking at his mum and then me.

“Oh, mate,” I reach out to cup his face, Emma pulls him into a hug. “Of course not. You didn’t do anything wrong. You two are perfect, you hear me?”

“Do you still love each other?” Minnie asks.

Emma looks at me in the eye as she answers our daughter. “I’ll always love your dad, because he gave me both of you.”

“And I’ll always love your mum,” I say, my eyes pinned on my wife. “No matter what.”

Emma

“So… tell me, he a good lay? He looks the sort to have some girth.”

I probably should have warned you beforehand about this sister of mine.

Lucy is my entertainer sister who has done every job going alongside studying. She went to dance school, spent six months on a cruise ship, has been an extra and once did a two-month stint in Les Misérables. On weekends she dresses up as Disney characters and does kids’ parties which means she owns a lot of wigs and always has glitter in her bra. She’s the fun one. I keep her close because as much as I love my other siblings, this one has been a good entertainment through my separation. Mum suggested for her to live with me for a couple of weeks when I first moved back to the Peak, and I’m so glad she did. It was around the time I lost a stone and would spend most of the time napping, crying and staring at the wall, surviving on cups of tea and Rich Tea fingers. She couldn’t cook or clean and she used all my shampoo but she brought some light into the house when grey clouds threatened to consume it. She was also a great distraction because I could live vicariously through her tales of going to gigs and clubs and hear how she’s not slept and got her boobs out for reasons of fun and frivolity.

However, when you talk to her, she always goes there. She’s brash and has no conversational limit. She thinks her purpose is to not only feed me but also revive a pretty dead sex life too. Actually, it’s not just her. After my husband and I split, my sisters think it’s their job to pique my interest in men again. Luke happened after a boozy Chinese takeaway about two months ago when I joked that a spring roll was the most phallic thing I’d had in my mouth for over half a year. I remember a dumpling rolled out of Meg’s mouth in shock, so Suze decided to play the matchmaker and introduced me to Luke who worked at the same hospital with her.

Tonight, we’re having another takeaway night since my parents have all the grandchildren for the weekend. Bless them for entertaining that crew of children we seem to have acquired over the past nine years. We have seven between Suze, myself and Meg, and I just hope that my parents are well stocked with wine. They will need it. 

We all sit around my dining room table with the remnants of a KFC bargain bucket, a selection of Thai food, a giant bag of chips and some battered sausages. I’d admit that we were already a little drunk to buy food sanely. Luke is also here, I thought it’d be nice to give my sisters the chance to get to know him. And it doesn’t take Lucy more than thirty seconds after Luke gets up to take a phone call before asking such questions. 

“I don’t know? I haven’t slept with him yet.”

Lucy looks at me in confusion. “But you’ve been on dates and stuff?”

“We did have a cheeky snog last week but we’re taking it slow.”

“What are you waiting for? Just go shag him. Erase the memory of that wanker?” 

“Hey, he’s your niece and nephew’s father,” I chastise her for calling Harry names. “Don’t call him that.”

“Why don’t you want to sleep with Luke?” Meg, my other sister asks me. “Lucy is right though. He’s really tall, I bet he’s VWE.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Very well-endowed.”

I chuckle. “Honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

Meg giggles and places her head on my shoulder. 

“Last time I had sex was on Valentine’s Day, girls. Do your maths. The next day, my marriage collapsed.”

Both of them huddle into me like penguins. 

“Which is why you just need to get over yourself,” Lucy remarks. “You need to remember what sex is like. It’ll be fun and make you feel good. If you don’t want to do it with Luke, you can have some taster session? I’ve got a uni mate who’d shag you.”

“Lovely. No.”

Lucy huffs. “You’re so boring.”

“Honestly, Em, Luke is fit. Seems like a nice fella, and he genuinely likes you. I’d have a go on him if I weren’t married. You should just do it,” says Meg.

“Yeah, you could shag him tonight,” Lucy adds. “Meg and I can piss off out and then…” 

Then she does a strange rave-style dance as she thinks of her plan coming together. Luke returns from his phone call and Lucy jiggles in her seat. Don’t you bloody dare. 

“Luke, we need more wine,” says Lucy. “There is not enough and we thought you could walk down to the shop and get some?”

Meg and I look at each other for a second, wondering what our sister is up to. 

“Sure, yeah, I could get wine,” Luke replies. “Any other requests?”

If she tells him to get condoms in then I will skewer her with a chopstick.

“Anything you might fancy or need?”

She’s walking an incredibly thin, thin line. 

Luke gets up to retrieve his coat and grazes my hand as he does. This move doesn’t go unnoticed by Meg and she gives me a sly wink. I hand him my keys and he heads for the front door. Meg stares Lucy out.

“Seriously?” She says.

“We need to prepare you if you’re going to sleep with him.”

“Like mentally?” I ask.

“Like have you had a tidy? This will be your first time. You’ll need to at least tidy up the flaps and do a bit of topiary.”

“LUCY!” I gasp and laugh at the same time, holding my hand to my face. Who is this woman? How can you raise five children in the same house and come up with such a random entity?

She stands up and heads for my kitchen drawers, rifling around until she pulls out a pair of scissors.

“Show me your bush,” she orders.

“Lucy! I prepare food with those scissors.”

“And we’ll wash them?”

Meg is in hysterics as she sees this scene unfolding in front of us.

“I’m not getting my bush out in my kitchen.”

“You’re so dull,” Lucy complains. “I’m trying to help here. What are your pits like? Shame there’s no time to tackle your upper lip.”

I put my hand over it instinctively. “I’ve got a moustache?”

“Well, you’re not Tom Selleck but it could do with a bleach.”

“You’re being cruel now, Luce,” Meg giggles. “But I think we do need the comedy of seeing Lucy trimming your bush in the kitchen.”

I stand up reluctantly and unbutton my jeans.

“Ha!” Exclaims Lucy. “You’re wearing nice knickers, you knew this was going to happen. Just peel them back a little and let me have a look.”

“Be quick for fuck’s sake. This is something that no one needs to see.”

“Do you want a shape?”

“What?”

“Yeah, like a heart? It’d be cute.”

“No!”

Meg roars with laughter.

“I’ll just trim the length then,” says Lucy. “Meg, put your hand out.”

“Do I have to?”

“Don’t you love your sister enough to at least hold her pubes?”

I’m not even sure what’s happening here. One sister is very close to my private regions with a sharp object and I hear the creak of metal as she shears away. The other collects the trimmings in a napkin in her palm. This feels like an opportune moment to ring Suze, our other sister, and start a FaceTime chat. That time we all took one for the team so Emma could reclaim her sex life.

“Thanks, Luce.”

“You don’t say this enough I feel.”

“We really don’t,” says Meg.

“Want me to look at yours, Meg?”

“I’m good.”

“What if he’s into weird stuff?” I ask.

“Like?”

“I don’t know… maybe like choking? Stuff like that.”

“Well, no one breaks out all the moves on their first time,” says Meg but Lucy gives us a look like she begs to differ.

“And I’m not on anything. I stopped the pills months ago. What if I get pregnant?”

“That’s what condoms are for?” 

They both give me a look that says I am not fourteen and that I should have an inkling about how reproduction works and the preventative measures that I can put in place to stop myself from getting pregnant. 

“How do I initiate it?”

“Maybe you could dance for him?” says Luce mockingly. “You’ve both had a drink, let it just happen. Planned sex is the worst kind of sex.”

“I planned nothing. You’re the one who’s got the kitchen scissors.”

“I’m done, anyway. Not my finest work but then at least he’ll be able to find it?”

Meg laughs again as she goes to the bin with her napkin of pubes. I do my jeans up and sit at the table, downing what’s left in my glass. What if he can’t get it up? Or worse, what if he doesn’t like my boobs? I have modest boobs. They wouldn’t win any competitions. What if he wants better boobs?

“You’re overthinking,” says Meg.

“I haven’t got any condoms.”

Lucy reaches inside her handbag, pulls out two packets of johnnies and hands them to me. How far ahead has she planned this?

“Any other excuse?” Lucy asks.

“Look, tonight, just get naked with the fella, have some bloody fun. Enjoy yourself.”

I hear the key go in the latch of the front door. That was quick. Crap. Luke enters the kitchen with two bottles of red that I immediately feel guilty about as I’ve got a rack of it in the utility room. He also carries a few packs of crisps and takes the kitchen scissors that were on my table.

“No!” I stop him. “Those need to be washed.”

He looks at me in confusion and I love that he puts them in the sink without any further questions asked. He rips opens the packet of crisps with his hands instead.

“Crisps?”

Lucy grabs a handful of crisps before she grabs her phone, pretending to read some texts. “Bollocks! Meg, we forgot about the party.”

Meg quickly plays along. “Oh yeah, crap. It’s that birthday party, innit?”

I feel awful. I’m sending the sisters back out into the cold so Luke and I can have the house to ourselves. They both keep winking at me which is more down to the fact that they’ve had at least a bottle of wine each for themselves tonight. Luke stands at the kitchen door while I wave everyone off. This feels weird. 

“Have fun, kids!” Chants Lucy as she shepherds Meg away from the house. I shut the door.

And then there were two. I turn around and Luke is no longer at the doorway. I tiptoe into the kitchen to find him stacking plates. 

“Shall we tidy up now?” He asks.

“It can wait.”

My phone on the table lights up with an incoming text. It’s Lucy. Don’t forget to adjust your tits. Make sure they’re facing forwards. Show a bit of bra. 

Does this mean my boobs are not always facing forward? Where are they looking? This isn’t helping at all. I ignore it.

“Alright,” Luke says with a smile that makes me feel relaxed but also on the faint side of nauseated. It’s probably first time nerves. Is it weird that I’m thinking about the cleanliness of my bedroom? Did I pick up yesterday’s bra from the corner of my room? Do I remember how to go down on a man? What if he doesn’t fancy me?

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder whether my marriage ended with Harry because I was terrible in bed. Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough. I’ve had kids, parts of me are stretched and doughy. Maybe I didn’t provide what he needed. 

In the last year of our marriage, I think it’s safe to say that I was mainly the one to initiate things between us and my success rate wasn’t 100%. There’s this nagging thought in my head that maybe even on those nights I succeeded, those were just pity shags.

You know what, sod it. 

I grab him by the collar and kiss him. He stumbles a little but then lets his body fold into mine. I can do this. Crap. He’s lifting me up. He sits me on the counter and I’d like to say the moment overtakes but there’s red wine inches from my arse so I move the glass with my hand whilst still kissing him. We’re kissing. This is weird. It’s different. It’s not my husband’s lips. Why am I thinking about my husband’s lips? 

I shake my head, banishing that image. Harry doesn’t belong in this room with me right now. 

I feel his hands in the small of my back and then he lifts my jumper over my head. I’m in my bra. Don’t overthink it. Oh, the bra is off. My nipples are out in the kitchen. I run my fingers through his hair as he trails kisses down my neck. Is it weird that right now, at this very moment, all I can think about is that his blond, floppy hair looks like a golden retriever?

I gasp and push him away involuntarily when his mouth wraps on my nipple. This is wrong. This feels wrong. I thought it was just first time jitters but now I think this is deeper than that. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, looking concerned.

I grab my jumper and quickly put it back on. “I… I’m sorry, Luke. I can’t. I have to go.”

“Emma, I’m sorry,” his face reads panic. “Did I read the signals wrong? I thought you wanted this. I feel terrible. I’m so sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologise,” I say hastily. “You didn’t. I did want this. Or so I thought. It’s just… I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll be ready any time soon. Or ever.”

“What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?”

I have to be straight with him. I take a deep breath. “I want to give you the opportunity to walk away. You’re a good guy, Luke. I just don’t think it’s fair for me to string you along if we can never progress.”

“Is it your ex-husband?”

He’s still my husband. But I don’t say this out loud. 

“He told me that he wanted to give our marriage another shot about two weeks ago when he was here,” I tell him. “I did say no right away. I didn’t think it was a good idea. But…”

“Is it really?” He asks. “You two have a lot of history. Two kids. Why wouldn’t you give him a chance?”

“I’m worried.”

“And what are you worried about?”

“My heart?” I say quietly. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

Luke smiles at me through sympathetic eyes. “Listen to me, Emma. I’m not a cardiologist, but I know that the hearts are the strongest organs in the human body. They can go through anything.”

What happens next feels like a blur. All I know is that by midnight, I’m already halfway down the M1, on my way to London. 

Harry

It was a knock on the door that woke me up.

When I first open my eyes, I’m disoriented. I don’t know what time it is, or how long I’ve been asleep. Then I realise I’m on the sofa, and it’s still dark outside. It’s also raining. I walk towards the door and open it, just in time to catch a figure going down the steps, which doesn’t take me more than a second to recognise. I am in complete shock. Is this real? Is that really my wife, standing in front of my door in the middle of the night? Or are my eyes deceiving me?

“Emma?”

She stops on the pavement and slowly turns to face me. She’s spooked through—her jeans moulded to the curves of her legs, the sleeves of her jumper dripping, her hair flat, lips slightly tinged with blue.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she says. “Don’t know what I was thinking.”

I open the door wider, and my voice is drowsy and deep when I say, “Come on, let’s talk inside.”

She takes a step back instead.

“I just… I wasn’t thinking. I’m here. I don’t know why,” she sounds genuinely bewildered—even a little panicked.

“Are the kids in the car?” I ask her and she shakes her head. The wind blows, spraying ice-cold drops across my bare skin where my shirt hangs open. “You’re shivering, honey, come inside.” 

She stares at me, so many emotions swirling in her expression. She’s like a skittish kitten who can’t decide if she should let the stranger pat her head or haul up the nearest tree. It breaks my heart.

“I don’t think I can.”

So I go to her. 

The rain is cold and hard, soaking my shirt. Her eyes dart from the pavement, to my chest, up to my eyes and back again, like she’s ready to bolt—but her feet stay glued.

I lean in so she can hear me through the rain. “Do you remember the first time we went to Paris together? When we were young and crazy enough to only rent one electric scooter for both of us, and we rode around the city at night?”

The corners of her mouth tug up a little. “I remember.”

“But then I was going way too fast and we hit a rock, and both of us went flying. I didn’t want to ride anymore the next day, because I was afraid you’d get hurt. Do you remember what you told me?”

“I said…” she begins, her eyes meet mine. “I said we had to keep riding. Because it’s the only thing that made falling worth it.”

I nod tenderly and hold out my hand. “I’m not going to let us fall this time, Emma.”

Her eyes are back on the pavement. “I’m not sure-”

I know she still doesn’t trust me. I know that sadness on her face and how it penetrates so deeply. I know she’s probably better off without me, the bastard who crushed her heart and soul and took her for granted for years. 

We shy away from the things that hurt us. But that’s what scars are for. They protect the wounds. They cover them with thick, numb tissue so we’ll never have to feel that same pain again. The scars that my wife has inside? They’re tough. 

I beg when she continues to stare at my hand, “Please, just come inside.”

Slowly, tentatively, her hand slides into mine. 

And we go in out of the rain.

I take her upstairs to the bedroom that used to be ours. Her teeth chatter as she sits on the edge of the bed. I throw a blanket over her shoulders, rubbing her arms, sliding down to cup her hands. 

“Shit, you’re freezing. How long were you out there?”

“A while. I was walking… thinking.”

“Just some friendly advice. Next time you go a-wandering, stop and buy an umbrella.”

Emma shivers as she laughs. I pull the blanket closer around her and rub her back. 

“So… you gonna tell me what’s this midnight adventure about?” 

Her voice comes out soft and wavering in the dark room. “I was with Luke.”

“Did he do something to you? I’ve watched enough crime documentaries to pull a perfect murder.”

She shakes her head and chuckles. “We were having a takeaway night. Meg and Lucy were there too, but then they left and there were just the two of us and-”

“Please spare me the details,” I beg.

“Nothing happened. I just… I couldn’t get through it. Your face kept popping out in my head and I knew that if I went all the way through, we’d lose our chance. And I didn’t want us to lose our chance. I know this is completely the opposite of what I said to you two weeks ago but it’s true. I wasn’t ready then and maybe I’m still not ready now, but I don’t know about the future and you said you’d wait for me and…”

Her words trail off and my chest clenches with that sublime mix of excitement and trepidation. Of wanting something so much it’s like every cell in your body is stretching, reaching for it, yet there’s a grey shadow of worry that you might never get to touch it.

“Oh, Ems…”

I cup my hands around hers and blow into them. Another shiver vibrates through her. 

For a moment we sit there in silence. Memories of us in this bed come flooding back. Of the kids piling in here bright and early, and us having cuddles and catch ups over the week just gone. Of the two of us and that sacred half an hour we had together before we go to sleep. Where we could have a proper chat without little voices interrupting us every few seconds. Sometimes we’d read together too, and other times when we just couldn’t be arsed, we’d simply spend that half an hour scrolling through memes and having a laugh together.

“You’ve got to get out of these wet clothes,” I say gently, with absolutely no teasing suggestion. We’re right on the precipice. I can feel it. And I have to tread so carefully, because one wrong move could send her away, truly lost to me.

I peel my soaked shirt off and let it drop to the floor. Her eyes move, trailing over my shoulders. I stand and slowly unbutton my jeans, leaving me in black boxer briefs. 

Her eyes follow my every move, looking at me.

I push the blanket off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. I grasp her jumper at the bottom and lift slowly. I wait for her to push me away but she doesn’t. She raises her arms instead. I pull the jumper over her head and it lands with a plop on the floor. I remind myself not to enjoy the view. I’m trying hard not to look.

My chest rises and falls as rapidly as hers. I sink to my knees in front of her and reach out for the button of her jeans. She lifts her hips and my fingertips graze her skin as I slide them down her thighs, leaving the white lace knickers in place. 

“Get under the sheets,” I whisper and she does just that.

She scoots to her side of the bed, and I slide beside her. Without a word, she snuggles into my side. The cool feel of her flesh is a shock at first, but in just a few moments, my heat chases away her chill. Except for her feet. I practically jump when she runs one up my calf.

“Yer a bloody ice cube!”

She laughs kind of evilly. 

We face each other, almost nose to nose. Her hair still drips at the ends and a drop trickles over her collarbone, down her chest, and I’ve got to take a deep breath—because I want to lick it off her so badly.

“Talk to me,” she says softly.

“I’m taking time off work.”

“But you never take time off work?” 

“I’ve got a lot to make up to the kids,” I tell her. “So I told Jeff to bugger off for at least until after New Year.”

I see her smile in the dim light.

“I’m gonna stay up with my mum,” I add. “I’ll only be an hour away from you lot.”

This is something that I’ve been mulling about. If I really do want a chance with Emma, I need to move up there because absence does not make the heart grow fonder. That may be true in secondary school when you went away for the summer. But in marriage, especially in a broken marriage, absence separates people. It creates distance. That’s the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. You want the closeness back.

My wife’s palm runs over my bicep—tentatively at first—then with a surer touch. “They’d love that.”

“Also, you remember my old mate Stu?” She nods. “We got in touch just earlier today. He’s got a litter of puppies and he offered one for us. I told him I need to talk to you first. So what do you think?”

“A puppy, huh?”

“A puppy.” 

“I think that’s a good idea,” she says. “But I’ve never had a dog though.”

“I can train it first at my mum’s?” I offer. “I’ll get it all settled. Then when it starts sleeping through the night, I’ll bring it over.”

“Does it make me a terrible mum for wishing we had that kind of service when the kids were newborns?” 

“We had that service. It’s called sending them to the grandparents.”

We both laugh, and when the laughter dies down, we’re silent for a few minutes. The thrum of my heartbeat jacks up as her hand continues to stroke my arm. 

“Harry?” Her voice is the barest whisper, like she’s checking to see if I’m asleep. 

“Hmm?”

“I… I’ve missed you. So much.”

And I’m done.

The need to kiss her, to touch her, has been pulling at me like a raging current ever since I saw her on the front step, and with those few words, I let the current take me. 

***

Numerous studies have shown that having sex extends the human life span. At this rate, Emma and I are going to live forever. We probably slept twenty minutes max throughout the night and I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve done it. I’m pretty sure the last time we did something like that was ten years ago on our honeymoon. 

We’re sitting at the breakfast nook. Her hair mussy and she’s wearing one of my T-shirts. She looks freshly fucked, which I know to be true, and I reckon she’d be ready to crawl back into bed with me if I just crook my finger. But I don’t do that. Because this, us, sitting here in the morning sunlight, playing footsies under the table while we talk over coffee is all I’ve been dreaming about every morning.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks when she catches me looking.

“You,” I smile. “You look perfect.”

“No, no more,” she shakes her head frantically. “I won’t be able to walk.”

“You dirty lass, I was trying to be romantic and all that,” I can’t help but snort in laughter. “And you always do that… rebuff any type of compliment I try to give you.”

It’s true. If I tell her she looks beautiful, she waves a dismissive hand at me. If I compliment her mind, she blushes. Even an appreciative look from me has her turning shy like a schoolgirl.

When she doesn’t respond to me, I continue to poke at her. “Why is that? Why does it embarrass you when I tell you that you’re smokin’ hot?”

She wrinkles her nose at me. “Because it’s weird. I feel like you just have to say that.” 

She pretends to go through one of her old magazines from when she still lived here. I reach across the table and bat at it, causing one side to pull out of her hands and reveal her entire face to me. Now she’s glaring. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”

And I grin when I see red stain her cheeks.

“And you’ve got the most gorgeous body. I take one look at you naked and I can’t help but get rock hard.”

“Stop it,” she blusters, now blushing all the way down her neck.

I change tactics, but I know this will embarrass her just as much. “You are the most amazing woman. Kindest, genuine and grounded. Funniest too. And you’re the best mother for our babies.”

“Okay,” she snaps at me as she closes the magazine and slams it down onto the table. “You’ve made your point.”

Chuckling, I stretch back in my chair and nudge her foot with mine under the table. “You’re adorable.”

She rolls her eyes, which I find to be beyond adorable. 

Standing up from my chair, I walk around the table and hold my hand out to her. She willingly takes it and stands when I give her a tug. It’s a natural move for her, to walk straight into my embrace and press herself against me. I tilt my head and kiss her on her jaw. “It’s something you need to get used to… compliments from me. It’s never going to stop.”

She moans softly in my ear.

“Want to know what else you’re going to have to get used to?” I whisper as I kiss my way down her neck.

Her fingers come up, tangle in my hair, and fist tightly. “What’s that?”

“My face between your legs.”

***

Some people might not put Quaglino’s into the romantic restaurant bracket, but they’d be wrong, very wrong. In actual fact, it’s quite hard to top. The interior has this 1930’s romance charm with candlelit tables, dark-panelled walls and an adjoining room for dancing to the soft tunes of the piano man singing bluesy versions of classic songs. 

Tonight, I managed to convince Emma to go out to dinner with me before she goes back to our babies. I insist on driving her since I don’t want her to drive alone at night again, which she initially refused but finally agreed.

We finish our dinner and split a slice of cheesecake for dessert. Probably not my brightest idea since I keep having to readjust myself because seeing her slowly swallow a mouthful of white, creamy concoction is a pure kind of torture. But I try to kick those dirty thoughts out of my mind and focus. 

Since last night, we’ve successfully managed to avoid the talk. It feels like we’re in a bubble where everything is perfect and we’re just scared to burst it, but I know this can’t go on. Emma and I need to have a proper chat if we want this to work.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“You and I need to talk, don’t you think?” I begin. 

“You’re right,” she nods. “So…”

“What is this?” I gesture between us. “Are you ready to give us another shot?”

“I think so,” she nods. “But I want us to take it slow.”

“You set the pace,” I assure her. “I want this to work more than I want anything else in my life. So I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

“We’ll see this as a new dalliance,” she adds.

I know this is supposed to be serious so I try hard not to break into laughter. “Okay. I will court you but I won’t ask you to move to an estate in the country. Not right away at least.”

“I’m serious.”

“You sound like Austen.”

She rolls her eyes. “And we can’t tell anyone either.”

“I agree,” I tell her. “And from now on, we talk to each other, alright? I’ll try to make you happy the best way I know how. But if it’s not enough for you, then you need to tell me.”

She nods, but then her graze drops before she asks. “You really do want this right?”

“I told you I want this to work more than anything else in my life.”

“It’s just… when you first told me you wanted to fight for our marriage, I was overwhelmed because it was all so sudden. You told me everything I wanted to hear. Even at that moment, everything in me screamed for us to just fall back into it all the way. But there was also a part of me that thought you were just lonely, and maybe you thought that us getting back together was the answer to it.”

“Not true-”

Emma holds up her hand. “Maybe not true, but it’s my fear. That’s why I kissed Luke that night, because I was desperate. I wanted to push things with him because I knew I’d never love him the way I love you. I knew that if things went to pot, I wouldn’t be half as devastated. But with you? I don’t think I can survive that type of heartbreak again, H. You don’t know how much it killed me to end our marriage. I can’t afford to fall back into something that’s not going to last.”

“Emma,” I reach across the table to take her hand. “I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you. I know for sure it was not a decision you made lightly, nor on a whim. I wish I had fought you on it then… had fought for you then. There was a time when I thought our marriage was over, and I was going to let you go. But I’m not going to do that now. If it takes you weeks, months, hell, Emma… if it takes you years to fully trust my devotion to you, I’m in this for however long it takes.”

Emma nods, biting into her lower lip. I can see her eyes starting to water because every bit of this is overwhelming. She turns her head towards the music floating in from the other room. It’s a Van Morrison cover, Crazy Love.

“Wanna dance?”

The request takes me by surprise since this isn’t like her. But I toss my napkin on the table and move to stand next to her, holding out my hand. The simple delight on her face when her hand slides into mine is everything.

We step out onto the edge of the dance floor. I wrap my arm around her lower back, holding her tight and flush against me. One of her hands rests on my shoulder, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. The other is clasped in mine just over my heart. We sway, eyes pinned at each other for a few moments.

“Thought you hate dancing?” I smirk.

“Still hate it,” she answers. “I’m just using it as an excuse to be closer to you.”

She sighs, practically sinks into my arms. Emma’s head fits against my chest like she was made to be there. My chin rests against her hair.

“Emma?”

She lifts her head from my chest. “Yeah?”

“You don’t need an excuse.”

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love… 

***

“What the-”

“Oi!” I yell, quickly pulling the duvet over my wife and I. “Heard of knocking?”

“Heard of a bedroom lock?” Lucy challenges.

Last night, we drove up the M1 straight from the restaurant. We took breaks in deserted services with shiny floors and bad lighting where we had coffees and wandered around WHSmith bulk buying sweets even though it’s really not that far. But you can never have too many travel sweets, can you?

And now, here we are, back at the cottage. The kids are still at their grandparents until this afternoon so Emma and I are enjoying the benefit of having the house all to ourselves by having a morning shag. That is until one of her sisters walks in on us. I’m very aware that I’m still inside Emma.

I pull out, roll over to lay down next to my wife, and we both stare at Lucy who is dressed from head to toe like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.

“Party?” Emma asks her sister. We both try not to giggle as she sashays in to look at herself in the mirror then perches on the bed in her harem pants. Today, she’s gone heavy on the winged eyeliner and shows off a flat midriff. I quite like the pointy silver shoes though.

“No, Tesco,” she says dryly. “Obviously a party.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask her. 

Lucy glares at me. “What are you doing here? Besides rearranging my sister’s guts, of course.”

I don’t even flinch. I’ve been married to Emma for ten years, I’m used to this sister of hers.

“I’m trying to win your sister back,” I say earnestly. I know that Emma and I talked about keeping this a secret, but she literally walked on us shagging. There’s no point in denying it. It’s best that she knows my true intention rather than thinking we’re divorced with benefits.

“Eh, about time,” she replies nonchalantly.

“Luce, please keep this to yourself for now,” Emma begs her. “This is still new.”

“I will,” she nods. “Just a friendly reminder, though, Styles. If you hurt my sister again, I won’t even think twice before starting a business selling voodoo dolls of you. Bet I could make a fortune of that.”

In their girl gang, Lucy is the wildcard, the likeliest to carry a shank. I don’t even laugh because she could be serious. 

“Duly noted.”

“What are you doing here this early?” Emma asks her sister.

“I wanted to ask if I can borrow that giant tiger in George’s room?”

“Feel free to borrow the rug in the front room as well,” I cackle.

“Ooh yeah,” Emma chirps. “Are you going to find a whole new world?”

“Have you got your Aladdin?”

She pulls a face at our mocking. “My mate who’s supposed to be Aladdin is sick so I asked Jamie to fill in and he agreed because he owed me a big favour. But this lot changed their mind and wanted a genie so now I have to go to Jamie’s and convince him to let me do a full blue body paint on him.”

Emma and I roar with laughter. “Please, please, please, take some piccies.” 

***

A month later…

I can only imagine the joy on my children’s faces when they open the door. I’ll be standing there with the pup in hand, but I know I’m practically vibrating with excitement myself. I glance over at the little dog crate that we’d prepared to transport him in. It’s a sweet, nine-week-old Bernese mountain dog. He’s pretty chill, curled into a round ball, but he’s not sleeping. His eyes are open and alert, as if he’s just waiting to find out what’s around the next corner.

The back of my Range Rover is loaded with two boxes of food, dog toys, bowls, a leash, and appropriate treats. Since I’m still crashing at my mum’s, that will go to her place for when the kids and this puppy come to stay. Emma has an identical list at her home, already purchased and hiding until we hand the puppy off to the kids.

I’ve got a feeling that today is going to be a good day. All morning, Emma and I texted back and forth. Some of it was practical, like making sure we agreed on all the dog rules we’d lay down with the kids tonight. Some of it was lighthearted teasing. Some of it was dirty.

I can’t remember the last time I texted my wife throughout the day just for the hell of it. I had fun with it, and I know without a doubt she had fun with it too. Which made me realise what a twat I’d been for never doing something as simple as letting her know she was on my mind in just such a way. 

Pulling into the drive, I cut my headlights so the kids wouldn’t see me approach. I shut the engine off, quietly get out of my side, and press the door closed quietly. On the other side, I open the passenger door, then spring the latch on the dog crate, and this tiny little puppy totters straight at me with tail wagging.

I lift him in my arms. I shut the door and then move over to the patch of grass. I put the puppy down so he will go potty before I bring him in. When I was a kid, we had a dog called Max, but I sort of grew up with him so I didn’t remember when he was a puppy. And Emma never had a dog before, so we’re sort of winging it with this puppy training thing. But I don’t fret about it. I mean, we’ve had babies, they’re harder than this, surely? 

I patiently wait for this little fella to do his business, which includes a few minutes where he attacks my shoelaces and tugs. Shite, he’s cute. 

Eventually, he sniffs around, tail high and then abruptly squats to pee. I thought boy dogs lift their legs when they pee but maybe not at this age. I immediately bend and give him praise with an upbeat, positive tone that makes him excited. Who’s daddy’s clever little fella? You are! Yes, you are! You did well, mate. That was brilliant! He puts his paws up on my shin, accepting my stretches with tail wagging and tongue lolling out the side of his head. My kids are going to fall in love with this little guy. 

I scoop him up in my arms when he’s done and make my way inside. But instead of entering from the front door, I circle the house so I can enter from the back, knowing they must be all in the kitchen as this is usually the time when the kids would do their homework for next week. Walking past the window, I see that I’m right. Emma is at the kitchen island with George next to her and Minnie on the opposite side. My heart starts beating faster at the thought of spending the day with my family—and apparently our new third child in my arms—and I find it almost shameful I have such excitement over it. Shouldn’t I have always been this excited? Or is it normal for things to just settle, and we take them for granted?

I shake that thought off of my mind. I had this important talk with my wife a couple of weeks ago about how we shouldn’t focus on the past. We’re both committed to repairing our marriage, and for it to work, we both know we must commit to living in the present. Because at the end of the day, the present is all we have.

I knock on the door and as planned, Emma will tell the kids to answer it.

In moments, it’s swinging open. I get a flash of Emma walking up behind our kids, but my eyes are pinned on them. They’re both in complete shock, eyes wide open staring at the puppy squirming in my arms.

Both stare at me mutely, frozen, as if they can’t believe that this is real.

Finally, I say, “surprise!”

Minnie’s gaze rises up to meet mine. “Is that ours?”

“This is ours,” I nod, laughing. But still, neither of them move forwards, so I goad them. “Come and get him?”

That’s all it takes for Minnie to scoop this little fella into her arms, pressing her nose into his head and murmuring little endearments. George scratches him and he reacts to their greetings by wiggling frantically and trying to lick both of my kids’ faces. They both laugh in a delighted way I’ve never quite heard before.

I look at my wife and see her tender smile as she watches our littles. I can tell she’s as charmed by it as I am. 

I walk inside because it’s colder than a witch’s tit outside and shut the door. “He just peed outside, but we need to keep a close eye on him. If he starts sniffing around or circling, that probably means he needs a wee. Scoop him up and take him out to the back. After he’s done with his thing, give him lots of praise and affirmation.”

“Got it,” Minnie says as she plops down on the living room floor with the pup. The puppy jumps around, and all three of them start to play.

“Now, what should we name him?” Emma asks.

“Droolius Caesar?” I joke.

Emma laughs. “Jimmy Chew?”

“Sarah Jessica Barker?” I continue. “Wait, no, it’s a boy. Franz Fur-dinand?”

“Sir Barks-a-Lot?”

“Deputy Dawg?”

“Bark Twain?”

We both laugh. We’re shite at this. The kids are too busy with the puppy to comment on our suggestions.

SpongeBob SquarePants is on the telly playing in the background. None of them are watching, but I see SpongeBob scratching his snail pet under the chin before he picks up said pet and says, “I love you Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary…”

“Gary,” I say. The kids look at me and I point at the telly.

“That’s a ridiculous name for a dog,” Emma cackles. “But I like it.”

“That’s a human name?” Minnie’s brows knit slightly.

“I like it!” George exclaims, then proceeds to baby talk the pup who’s chewing on the end of Minnie’s braid. “I love you Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary…”

We laugh.

“H,” Emma calls, and my gaze moves to her. She jerks her chin to the kitchen. “Help me set up the table? I’ve got a cold beer for you.”

Minnie and George still completely ignore us as we move into the kitchen. 

It would be natural for me to sit at the kitchen island while Emma gets the beer and checks on the supper, but the kids can see me from where they sit in the living room. So I follow my wife behind the island instead.

Before she can make it two steps, I move right into the back of her. Hands at her hips, I push her all the way forward until the counter catches her hips, then I dip to put my lips to her neck. 

Emma’s head falls back and she utters the tiniest of sighs, one arm looping back to go around the side of my head so she can thread her fingers in my hair. It’s an intimate embrace, but not one to provoke lust. Just a message that I missed her even though I saw her two days ago, and I love touching her in this gentle, loving way.

“The kids,” she murmurs. “They might see us.”

“Oh, the tragedy,” I whisper dryly. “Our children seeing  their parents hugging.”

Emma snickers and pulls away, glancing over her shoulder. “It would be shocking to them. And until we know for sure what we are and where we’re going, we need to keep them in the dark, remember? I don’t want them to get their hopes up.”

“You’re right,” I mumble in a low voice before moving to the island. I glance back at the living room and see the puppy on George’s back, trying to climb up. “No touching around the kids.”

She smiles and hands me a beer. She’s got one in her hand, and we tap bottles. She then moves to the oven, where she bends to take a peek through the window. Obviously, I stare at her arse as she does.

“It’s done,” she announces, opening the oven to pull the pan of shepherd’s pie.

“Need help with that?’ I ask, noting it looks like it probably weighs fifty pounds.

Twisting, she grins. “Sure. I made a double batch to send you home with some leftovers.”

That gets me. Not only she made one of my favourite meals, but she’s also sending me home with leftovers. I pop off the stool, round the island and take the two potholders she’s holding out to me.

After I carefully lift the pan from the oven, she shuts the oven door. I set it down on the two trivets she’s placed on the counter.

Bending over, I inhale the scent deeply. “Smells fantastic.”

Emma bumps her hip against me. “Well… you’ve been pretty amazing these last few weeks, so…”

I bump her hip back before sliding my hand around her waist. Bending my head, I murmur. “Admit it… it’s for the orgasms I gave you after the school run the other day.”

She chuckles with a sly smile. “Possibly.”

Leaning in closer, I touch my temple on the top of her head, lowering to a complete whisper. “You do know that I can give you that any day you want, right, Em? All you’ve got to do is ask.”

“Oh, I will,” she teases.

“What’s going on here?” Minnie says from behind us.

Emma and I jump apart as if we’d been electrocuted by each other. We spin to see Minnie standing there, with George next to her holding Gary in his arms. These two must have worn that pup out as he is still, watching us curiously.

Minnie’s expression, on the other hand, is condemning and suspicious.

“Nothing’s going on, poppet,” Emma says, her voice a little squeaky in panic. It’s adorable.

“Your mum and I were just talking,” I calmly explain.

“With your arm around her waist and whispering,” Minnie challenges. “Looks more like flirting to me.”

“Are you upset about it?” I challenge back. I knew she was upset when we separated and she struggled with it for a long time. 

Her brows knit together. “I’m just confused.”

Emma’s expression indicates she has no clue what to say. I can’t say I’m any more well equipped, but I’m going to take this one. I give my wife a subtle chin tilt, silently telling her I’ll handle this and relief evident in her eyes.

“Come on, you lot. Help me sort Gary’s stuff,” I say, herding them towards the garage. 

All three of them follow me into the garage, Gary still cosy in George’s arms. 

I immediately spot the stack of supplies, which includes a dog crate similar to mine, as well as bowls, a soft dog bed, food and toys. I pick up the soft bed towards the door that leads back into the house. Minnie turns to precede me, but I stop her. “Hang on there a second, poppet.”

When she pivots to face me her expression is guarded. “You asked about your mum and me. What do you want to know?”

“Were you two flirting with each other just now?” She demands. Crap. She’s nine. She’s not supposed to know that stuff. 

I can’t believe I get a little warm in the face at such a question, but I nod. I know it’s probably too soon to tell them but there’s no point in denying this. Both of my children are smart, and they deserve to know what’s going on. 

Her eyes narrow. “So are you… what… getting back together?”

“Does it mean you’re gonna live with us again, daddy?” George chirps.

“Not yet, nuggets. It’s not that simple.”

“It kind of is,” she replies. “You left for months. You didn’t even come during the summer. Then once she started dating Luke-”

“What’s dating?” George turns to his sister.

“It’s when you like someone and they like you back and you become boyfriend and girlfriend then you go out to eat together and do other stuff,” Minnie explains, then she continues. “Then once she started dating Luke, you’re suddenly coming around more often. And then she told me that Luke wouldn’t come over anymore and now you two are making googly eyes at each other.”

We lapse into silence for a moment. I need to think carefully about what to say next. George beats me. “I think I’m dating someone.”

“You what?” My eyes widen.

“Yeah. I asked Poppy in the playground to be my girlfriend the other day and she said yes. Then after we were done playing on the slides we got hungry so she shared her raisins with me. I also let her take a sip of my Ribena.”

I try hard not to break into laughter but Minnie doesn’t even crack a smile. 

“Okay… so here’s the thing. I was very upset. I know that was wrong of me to just leave without saying goodbye, and it was wrong of me for not visiting sooner. I needed time to let it go, and to accept what your mum wanted. But not once during that time did I not want to come back home. I’ve always wanted my family back.”

“Then what changed?” Minnie asks.

“Your mum and I spent some time apart because we both thought that was the best decision. But we were wrong. Because we realised that we didn’t want to be without each other. So now I’m trying to prove that I’ve changed. That I’m a better man, and I’m ready to be a better husband. The one your mum deserves.”

“See,” Minnie murmurs, her expression filled with confusion. George dips his head and rubs his cheek against Gary’s head, who seems to be on the verge of falling asleep. “I don’t get it. You and mum always seemed to get along great. You never argued. I never understood why you left.”

I move in close to my daughter and brush a lock of hair behind her ear. “A lot of that stuff is private between your mum and I, poppet.”

George asks. “But why can’t you just move in now, daddy?”

“It takes time, mate. Your mum and I need more time to sort ourselves out. But I promise you two that we’re trying our hardest here, okay? We need you both to be patient. Can you do that for us?”

They both nod in unison. Gary blinks twice.

“I can’t wait for us to be family again,” says Minnie.

Grinning, I bend to kiss her head. “Me too, poppet…”

***

Emma

“Gary! This way, Gary!”

Harry and I look at each other across this rather windy hilltop. The kids and Gary are exploring the neighbouring bushes and pathways as we perch ourselves on a rock nearby. We take in the view, the breeze biting at my cheeks.

My husband turns to me. “Tea? I put some whisky in it.”

“Hell, why not.”

Harry pours the tea out and we clink mugs. He brushes his thumb across my nose for no absolute reason. I was born and raised here, but this is something I’ll never tire of: these swooping hills and valleys, infinite skies and bracing breezes. As much as I loved London, I’m glad we’ve traded that life with this simpler one. There is no taxi nor Tube in sight but our kids are somehow a little bouncier and carefree. They’re happy here, and that’s all that matters. 

 “Ey up,” greets Harry at a group of people walking past us. They are obviously tourists as they have no way to respond and one of them is wearing bog standard Reebok Classics.

We hear the kids squeal in the distance and we both smile at each other. Getting that pup was probably one of our best decisions.  

“Do you remember when we first dated?” Asks my husband. “You brought me up here.”

I nod. “I do.”

“The view was decent,” he grins. 

“I know you’re not thinking about the view.”

“I was thinking about what happened when we got to the top of the meadow…”

“That was some decent shag,” I chuckle. “Nowadays, I’d worry about getting ticks on my unmentionables.”

We laugh.

I stare over at my husband taking in the view and sipping tea noisily. He always pauses for a moment on any walk to drink it all in. He rustles in his bag and gets a packet of biscuit out, opening the packaging awkwardly and offering it to me. 

“Did you know that you’re supposed to call it ‘niece’ and not ‘nice’? Apparently, they’re named after the French town.”

“That’s proper pub quiz trivia knowledge right there, Styles,” I tease.

We stay up here for a little while, but since it’ll get dark soon, we start our walk back to the car. The one thing you forget about taking kids up mountains (small hills) is that for all that experience of green space and fresh air, eventually, you will have to bring them down. Despite having an entire packet of biscuit (with a whole lot of why did you bring this one? This is rubbish. You could’ve brought hobnobs), we failed to remember to pack enough snacks and a fine drizzle is now scratching at our faces. It takes George much persuading to keep walking and by the time we return to the car, the sun is dipping behind the clouds and the twilight sits in the air. 

Harry decided it was fine to park in a deserted car park in the middle of nowhere to escape the throngs of regular walkers and tourists but strangely enough, when we get back there, we are one of six parked up.

“Come on, mate. Literally, just to the car. Like twenty more steps,” Harry begs our son to keep on walking. 

“You lied!” He complains. “You said that twenty steps ago.”

“I’ve got Haribo in the car.”

He progresses to a light canter. 

“Where did all these cars come from?” Harry asks as he approaches our motor cautiously.

“Maybe you’re not the only smart one here and people are following your lead.”

A car flashes us. 

I look around at all the cars. People are sat in them. What are they waiting for? You see this sometimes when waiting for the rain to pass or when people decide to eat their lunch in the car. 

Suddenly, I hear a car door open and a gentleman approaches us. His footsteps are low.

I know him. It’s Patrick. He’s our postman, so, yes, we have our very own Postman Pat. It was the first thing that tickled Harry when he found out years ago. And even better, the joke is not lost on Pat. His wife even got him a stuffed black and white cat for his cherry-red van window. I smile at recognising him, as do all of the occupants in our car.

“Emma, Harry, kids. Fancy seeing you here, of all places.”

“We’ve got a new dog and we were just taking him for a walk,” I inform him.

“Oh, lovely. What’s his name?”

“Gary,” the kids say in unison.

“Have you got a dog, Pat?” George asks him.

“No, my wife’s a cat lady. But funny you should mention dogs. This place here, people like to come here for that reason.”

“Gary seemed to like it,” pipes in Harry. “I think it’ll be his favourite.”

“That it is. People come here all the time for walking and with their dogs and other such endeavours.” His face looks slightly ashen at this point, his eyes darting towards the other cars. “And the other sense of the word… I just thought I would mention it as you have the littl’uns and it’s getting darker. I think someone just flashed his lights to warn you.”

Harry and I realise what he means exactly at the same time. “OH!” we say at the same gobsmacked volume. 

“Dogg…ing…” Harry mumbles. “We should-”

“Leave, like definitely leave, like now,” I say finishing his sentence.

The kids appear confused. I look around and shield my eyes. I should shield the children’s eyes. Pat’s wife waves from the passenger seat.

“Give our regards to June,” I say.

“Will do.”

He salutes us and returns to his car. The kids have all the questions. “People come here to look at dogs?” George asks. “Where are the dogs?”

“Get. In. The. Car.” Harry mouths very deliberately.

I slink into the passenger seat. Our eyes dart in different directions trying to divert focus from any of the cars ahead. We’ll be good if Harry doesn’t drive us off a cliff face. He turns on the wipers, the engine roars to a start and he pulls away slowly.

“We could have stayed and seen the dogs,” says George, a little despondently. “Gary would’ve loved to see his mates. Wouldn’t you, Gary?”

I throw a packet of Haribo at him. Harry and I are silent. We’ve just strolled our children and our very young dog into an outdoor sex hotspot. We are terrible parents. 

“Who fancies chips?” Harry says as he changes gear. He finds our littles in the rear-view mirror and studies their faces. “There’s a decent chippy down road.”

There’s a chorus of approval from the back seat. My husband smiles. He then moves his hand over from the gearstick to find mine, fingers interlocked, the sky glowing a thousand different colours.

***

“Are you calling my turkey dry?”

I look over at my older sister Suze in the corner of our family kitchen wondering where on earth she had the courage to come out with a comment like that. Even her husband stops washing up to absorb what his wife just said to our mother. I mean, you think it, but you just douse it in gravy and make do. Such is the joy of white chalky meat like turkey. Why do this now? Now she’ll harp on about the bacon she puts on the breasts and all the goose fat. But it’s Suze. She likes the challenge. I secretly think the only way she believes she can have a relationship with our mother is to spar with her regularly so they at least have one line of communication.

“It was a lovely dinner, Mum. Did you make the mince pies?” Suze winks at me.

I shake my head at her and bring the plate of mince pies through to the living room. Amidst my mother’s wreaths and tinsel wrapped around the lampshades, it’s a familiar tableau: Pop, my grandfather, asleep in the armchair in the corner, a holy green paper hat covering his eyes. Small children crawl on the floor and make angel shapes with their bodies amidst remnants of old glittery wrapping paper.  I hope Mum’s made a trifle. My other sister Meg and her husband snooze on a neighbouring sofa, catching on much needed sleep since they just had a baby four months ago and I still remember four months sleep regression is hell. I like this part of Christmas where bits of old crackers litter the floor and twilight takes over.

I take a mince pie and escape to the last vacant spot on the sofa. George rests his head on my knees. “What are you eating, mummy?” I look down at his bright green eyes and wonder how he can still be hungry as he must be ninety per cent roast potato at this point.

“A mince pie.”

“With cow mince?”

“No, like fruity bits,” I pick out said fruity bits and drop them into his mouth like a baby bird. He pulls a face, tasting it, and then walks away.

Harry smiles at me from the bottom of the Christmas tree. He’s laying down on the floor with one of my nieces. He’s always been great with kids, long even before we have our own. My niece has her palm out, and Harry runs circles in it as he sings, “round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…”

She smiles and laughs, poising her fingers, ready to bounce. 

“One step, two-step, tickle me under there,” he pretends to collapse into giggles and my niece’s little face broadens into laughter before she rolls over and walks away to play with her cousins.

Finishing my last bite of the tiny pie, I roll under the tree to join my husband. He looks at me as I cosy up next to him, the lights reflect off his eyes.

My mother likes a real tree for Christmas. It’s the smell, you can’t beat the smell. I like to think you can get that real pine smell from a good supermarket brand toilet cleaner but I don’t say that out loud for fear of incurring her festive wrath. And so there’s always a real tree and like we endured when my siblings and I were teens, there’s still a daily rota of vacuuming up the needles as we watch that bastard go crusty and brown as it’s shoved up against the radiator. 

We lay there in silence, looking up at the branches and my mother’s multicoloured lights twinkling in some erratic fashion that my eyes can’t quite handle. I’ve been to raves that were less of an assault on the senses. It’s an overwhelming memory of our childhood, lying in silence wigging out on mum’s trippy disco lights, absorbing the magic of the season. 

“You’re drunk aren’t you, tipsy-tits?”

“You were the one who poured double shots of Baileys in our coffees this morning,” I cackle.

“That’s called Christmas milk.” 

“What are you doing here?” Minnie asks, her head nestling into my shoulder. I rake pine needles from her head.

“Nothing…” Harry replies. “Where’s yer brother?”

“Here,” George suddenly appears, rolling under the tree next to his dad to join us.

“Looks like the awesome foursome is back, huh?” Harry grins.

Minnie and George hum in agreement. I can see my babies smiling. 

It’s time.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” 

I take a deep breath. “Will you come back home with us?”

-

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[momsopposed2theoccult]

It’s come to my attention that a good majority of people on this website have a really poor understanding of the conflict between Toph and Katara in “The Chase.” As somebody who loves both characters and their friendship, this irritates me. Without further ado, let’s unpack that in what is in theory supposed to be a meta but turned out more like a rant. 

“Katara was hostile towards Toph because the fact that she’s a gender non-conforming girl made Katara uncomfortable because Katara is obsessed with gender roles.”

Alright, so right off the bat this is just... completely idiotic and clearly fuelled by an agenda (and likely also a lot of projection). First of all, how is Katara of “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!” fame “obsessed with gender roles?” There’s an entire episode in Book One dedicated to Katara refusing to conform to societal norms for women in the Northern Water Tribe! Katara routinely calls Sokka out on his misogynistic bullshit! (Mind you I adore Sokka but he could be a little twerp at times and Katara was 100% right to challenge him on it) Katara is the feminist icon of ATLA! The fact that people act like Katara is some sort of conservative tradwife who loves gender roles instead of the outspoken feminist and political activist she is makes me incredibly angry.

Second of all, Katara was extremely kind and welcoming towards Toph at first. She gently encouraged her to join in with the group as they all set up camp together as opposed to setting up her own private camp. It’s only when Toph refuses to comply with her that Katara begins to get irritated. Mind you, Toph has her reasons for this, something I’ll get to in a minute, but from Katara’s perspective (key word here is perspective) she’s just being an annoying little stubborn, selfish, lazy, anti-social, entitled brat. Of course we the audience find out later that this isn’t the case at all (or at least in theory we should find out later but apparently some people on here skipped that part), but for all her many talents Katara is not a mind reader and has no way of knowing what’s going on inside Toph’s head, nor does she know her well enough yet to fully grasp the context behind why Toph acts the way she does. Katara is somebody who greatly values community and believes in teamwork, so Toph turning down her warm welcome in favour of “carrying her own weight” likely felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that she’s already emotionally exhausted from having to constantly mother Aang and Sokka. If I were Katara, I likely would have reacted the same way. 

Oh and I agree that the “the stars look beautiful tonight, too bad you can’t see them, Toph” comment was out of line, but it doesn’t make her a horrible person. It makes her a 14 year old, and 14 year olds can be nasty, especially sleep deprived 14 year olds. Katara is otherwise a very kind and compassionate person. Other characters have said worse than that. Hell, Toph herself has said worse than that. That being said, it was a deeply hurtful comment and I do like to imagine that she apologized for it off-screen. 

“Toph is a lazy, entitled, and classist spoiled rich brat who just didn’t want to do chores and expected other people to wait on her.” 

This is another one that makes me roll my eyes and ask if they even watched the show. First of all, the presumption that Toph is a lazy or entitled person is just... laughable. I feel like people forget that Toph isn’t actually an earthbending prodigy in the way that Azula is a firebending prodigy (I could say more about Azula and how her belief that she was the unshakeable prodigal daughter ultimately caused her downfall and how by the end of the series Zuko is arguably a better firebender than her but this isn’t a meta about Azula and Zuko, now is it?). Nah. Toph was a sheltered kid who discovered she had the ability to earthbend, was told that she could never become great at it because she was blind, and in response said FUCK THAT and decided to work her ass off until she was not only great but the very greatest all thanks to her crazy, stupid, off-the-charts nerve, drive, grit, ambition, and desire to prove people wrong about her. Does that sound like a lazy person to you? Believe me when I say that you do not achieve that kind of skill level by sitting around on your ass and expecting to have things handed to you. And entitled? Don’t make me laugh. Toph hates having things handed to her, that’s one of her defining characteristics. 

As for the implication that she’s classist and enjoys basking in her family’s wealth and being waited on...... are you stupid? Did you even watch the show? Toph absolutely despises everything about her parents’ lifestyle. Growing up like that was traumatizing and restrictive for her. We’re talking about a girl who likes to play around in the mud for fuck’s sake. Toph does not care how much money you have. She never wanted any to begin with. She even says it herself; “I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. They gave me everything I could have wanted. But they never gave me what I actually needed - their love.” Not to mention that she easily could have continued to freeload off her parents wealth but instead chose to sneak out of the house and make her own money doing what she did best; disproving people’s assumptions about her earthbending. Oh and I’ve seen someone point this out before but WWE is generally considered a “low brow” activity that “proper” people frown upon and shouldn’t associate themselves with. Toph fucking loved it. I don’t know how seriously people take the comics, as they often miss the mark when it comes to characterization (Toph’s, however, was generally pretty accurate), but there’s a part in The Rift where Sokka asks her when she’s going to start charging people to learn metalbending and she gets all serious and flat out tells him that she will never do such a thing, because money doesn’t matter to her. Sharing her one true passion with the world is what matters to her. Oh and the part where she basically tells a bunch of rich and sleazy businessmen to fuck off and “stop thinking about money and start thinking about people’s lives” is just... *chef’s kiss* Sorry my thoughts here are so incoherent but this take is so piss poor and makes me so angry that I don’t even know where to start. As for “Toph enjoys being waited on” I just- *sigh* Toph has such a visceral and defensive reaction to any implication that she is unable to take care of herself. Like I said earlier, that’s one of her defining characteristics as well as the reason for her behaviour in “The Chase.” Where are people getting these takes?

You wanna know why Toph acted the way she did in The Chase? Well, first let’s recap her life up to this point. Toph was born the blind daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. From day one her parents treated her like glass due to her disability. She was not allowed to leave her house unsupervised, and even then she was only permitted to walk around the gardens of her home. Every day of her life she was pitied, gaslit, babied, ignored, emotionally neglected, and made to feel ashamed of herself. She was not allowed to make any decisions for herself. She was not allowed to do anything for herself. She was not allowed to talk to other children. She had no friends. Other people didn’t even know she existed on account that her parents kept her locked up in her own home and didn’t tell anybody about her because they were so ashamed to have a blind daughter. Flash forward to “The Chase.” Toph begins to set up her own camp separate from the rest of the Gaang. Considering that she flat out was not socialized as a child and hadn’t even interacted with anybody her own age prior to a few days ago, this is understandable. So then Katara comes up to her and asks her why she isn’t setting up camp with the others as if she’s somehow incapable of taking care of herself (again, this is just what happened from her perspective) like she’s her mom or something and it just angers her because she thought she joined this group to get away from all that and she doesn’t understand how friends work because she’s never had one, all she knows is that apparently this girl thinks she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, and that infuriates her because it’s the exact same bullshit she thought she was running away from.

There’s a lot more I could say about this but I’m sick of typing so yeah in conclusion both of these takes are piss poor and I’m sick of having to read them. Stan Toph, Katara, and their friendship. 

[lareinenoir]

THE PURGE; Sanctuary C.E x black reader

PT III

60 Days Until The Purge

THEN...

"I'll order take out. I know you like Thai-"

"Don't order anything. I'm actually not even hungry." You said as he took your bag and put it on his shoulder. "What?" He was looking at you weird and it made you frown.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"You asked me to stay the night. That is my overnight bag." You replied folding your arms and walking over to the couch. Your hand touched your forehead and you sighed. You could still feel him looking at you as you tried to relax with your head leaned back. "After I tell Shonda about our situation, you're signing the papers."

"What do you mean-"

"You know what I mean." You shot back

"Ok, well theirs a lot to consider now." He motioned to your stomach and you sat up straight. "We're having a baby, now."

"No no no." You shook your head feeling your petty insides bubble a bit in sarcasm. "I'm having a baby. Me. Just me.”

"Obviously I want to be apart of our baby's life." Chris argued back and you frowned and scoffed. He put your bag down and crossed his arms as you brushed it off. "You can't seriously think I won't. V that's insane."

"You wanna know what's insane? You think you're gonna get anywhere near it. Why in the hell would I allow you and your broken promises anywhere near my child? Do you think I'm stupid? To make the same mistake twice!"

"Again? V what do you want me to do?" He asks throwing his hands up. "Acting is what I do, that's my job-"

"I don't care about that. I'm not asking you to chose your job or me-"

"It damn well near sounds like it. I would never make you choose." He countered back and you gripped your fists together.

"You may not have said it directly, but there have been many times where you have indirectly patronized me. I just found out I'm pregnant and I have been trying so hard to deal with it." you replied watching him pace back and forth and shake his head. "I have been getting the worst headaches, I can't keep any food down and I literally get lightheaded on set every single day because hiding my pregnancy has been a real joy ride." You replied sarcastically with a small chuckle

"What do you want me to do? I tell you to tell the producers, you get mad. I tell you to take a break, you get mad. I tell you to come over and you’re mad.” Chris said in disbelief. “I don't know what you want from me." He shrugs brushing the hair from his eyes.

"Not once since you found out have you asked me how I'm doing? My whole career is at risk I could lose my job. And you don't even seem to care.” You said

"V, I do care." He reached for your shoulder and you took in another breath. "I want you to stop worrying all the time. And you're right, I should be concerned more about you. I should be there for you-I should've been there for you in the beginning.” He admitted and you folded your lips again.

Are For real this time? Should I let it go and move past it? Again? No because it'll start all over again.

"This baby is mine. This is a life changing thing that's happening, I can't let you ruin it too." You spoke

" I'm taking responsibility because this is something I want. Ok? Can't we find some common ground? You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without a father!"

"You know too!" You shouted back. Chris' dad had died when he was younger. He talked about him sometimes but not as much. "I'd rather have had my father six feet under then to have him choosing when it's convenient for him to show up!" You said with your foot down shaking your head.

"Forget the divorce. Me and you living here happily married for the years to come. Whats so bad about that? Why can't I have that? What's so wrong with the picture of two parents raising a child?" His voice was loud and he was getting frustrated. He didn't shout, but you could tell how passionate he was about it. He always wanted to be a daddy, a parent. "Huh?"

"It's not just about you!" You said stepping closer. "Because..." You shrugged feeling your eyes water as you suck in your cheeks. "I knew the kind of man I was marrying. So involved with his job it took him almost fifteen years to actually start dating. It's not about you or your career. This baby is all I have right now.”

He looked confused as he relaxed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose. From two feet away you could feel his heartbeat and you felt a little bad for how foolish you probably looked. You still loved him, not like you ever stopped, but you remembered that you still loved him.

Because, it's not about me either anymore. You thought

"Forget the papers okay..." You said swallowing your own pride. "just forget it. You’re right. I want our child to have two parents who will love him unconditionally. But it has to stop, because it takes two. I can't have you with one foot in the door." You admitted

“Yeah yeah.” He nodded “yeah I get that. I’m not going anywhere.” Chris said and you walked forward and took his hand kissing his palm as you placed it on the side of your face. “I promise V.” He cups your face and stares into your eyes. His stubble poking at you a bit as you held his wrists.

“I love you.” You said with a small smile

“Still?” He laughed making you roll your eyes as you giggled a little. “I love you too. Are you sure you aren’t hungry?” He asks again

“Yes.” You nodded “now shut up and come take a nap with me.”

NOW....

CHRIS POV**

“Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” I said throwing the phone on the couch. I had called five times and her phone went straight to voicemail.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System. Announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. ALL Weapons have been authorized for use during the purge. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 121 days. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until December 15, 12:00 o’clock midnight, when the purge concludes. Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

My tv was replayed the message nine more times before shutting off. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Today is august 15, Vanessa’s birthday is tomorrow which was when she’d be 17 weeks. We had marked it on the calendar together. More than half my wife’s pregnancy would be spent during the purge. I needed to find her!

I didn’t support the purge. Something about killing people to be “cleansed” just didn’t sit right in my gut. It made my heart ache thinking about the clean up at the end. I could bring Dodger, but he can only do so much. Maybe he could help track her scent. Grabbing my coat I folded my lips together.

“Fuck!” I shout

With what weapon? How was I going to run the streets looking for my wife without a gun? I loved the idea of owning one, but Vanessa made me swear not to bring one in the house if she was there. So I just dropped the idea. Looking in the kitchen I grabbed one of the Chef knives off the rack. Maybe this would be enough for now...

“Damnit!” I curse looking at Dodger. “She said she was at Topanga Park. Start there?” I asked, as if he’d answer back. I grabbed her bonnet from off the bathroom door handle and stuffed it in my backpack.

I didn’t hesitate l. I locked up everything and jumped inside my truck. Dodger sat on the passenger side and I felt my hands start to shake as I put my foot on the gas. I started to promise god I would go to church if he would keep her safe.

“I don’t even know if you’re even listening or you even care. I love her, I’ve been such and idiot and I don’t wanna lose her.” I looked at Dodger and he was sitting up straight. “I remember you didn’t like her. You wouldn’t let her anywhere near me, you bark and squeeze yourself in between us when we sat down in the room to watch movies.” I chuckle wiping the little tear that slipped from my eye “You stole one of her wigs too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!” she shouted chasing you around the house. “DODGER GIVE IT BACK! COME BACK!”

We chased him around the house and Dodger thought it was some sort of game. We had been officially dating for a month. I had started laughing when I caught him and held her headband wig in my hand. She stood their with her arms folded while I petted his head and she rolled her eyes.

"I told you he doesn't like me." She said as I stood up and she took the wig from my hand.

"Come on, he's just getting used to you."

"I've been over here every day. Your dog hates me."

"What?" I tilted my head to the side and touch her nose with my index finger. "Deal breaker? If my dog doesn't like my girlfriend, I'm gonna dump her? Tell me where that makes sense."

She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist looking up at the ceiling as I kissed her neck. "I guess you have a point." Vanessa sighed.

"He's just warming up to you that's all."

"What's stopping me from breaking up with you?"

"Over a dog?"

"This is his third assault against me. First it was tearing up my purse, then chewing up my crocs, not to mention the little shit I found inside of them. And now stealing my wig and playing cat and mouse." Said Vanessa as I rested my head on top of hers. "Luckily this is a backup wig."

“Aren’t you wearing one right now?” I asked

“Headband wig. And that wig your dog has destroyed,” she gave him the side eye “it was my favorite and expensive.” She gritted her teeth

“I’ll buy you another one.” I offered

She purses her lips and shook her head. “I don’t want you buying me anything. I’ll just break up with you. For real this time.”

"Fine then..." I baited her shrugging my shoulders. "Break up with me."

“Over a dog?” She frowns mocking me as I smile down at her and her eyebrows bend downward a little as she caressed my face. Her finger was gentle and she stood on her top toes and kissed my lips. “Never.”

...

I look over at Dodger and pat his head. "We'll find her. I know we will." I say trying to lift my spirits.

When we arrived to Topanga Park, it was a sight. I didn't even want to leave the truck. I felt my heart race a little more. "What the hell..."

In the middle of traffic-in between the cars were bodies. Dodger started barking at the train of blood that stained the streets. It was empty, but I could feel a heavy weight on my back. Walking behind me, next to me...it was all around me. I hadn't realized I had my hand over my mouth an nose, it was hard for me to breath as the stench of dead bodies. Dodger kept barking and that led to me chasing after him. I had her bonnet in one hand and I called after him.

I came to a halt when I came face to face with another person. He had Dodger in his hands and I felt my muscle tense up. He was tall and very familiar looking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and held the kitchen knife in my hand with a firm grip.

"Captain America?"

I tilted my head sideways and licked my lower lip narrowing my brow a little. "Yeah, give me the dog and we can go our separate ways. Ok?"

He nodded his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and put the dog down. I wasn't really concerned about who he was I was trying to prepare for a fight. He dropped his gun on the ground and held up his his hand.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm looking for my wife." He said "She left her watch in that building." He pointed to the school and slowly pulled the watch from his pocket.

"In there?" I asked

"Yeah." He nodded, but I still couldn't shake the feeling I knew him from somewhere. "My name is Jared. My wife's name is Gianne, I'm pretty sure she was with someone else-are you looking for someone too? Maybe we could help each other. There was something written on the chalkboard in there, I wasn't something Gia would write, but she was here. All I wanna do is find her-"

"Supernatural?" I asked turning my head to the side. Vanessa loved that show. Whenever she had spare time she would watch it or on those many night she'd spend the night at my house we would watch it-well not really watch it. The Netflix and 'chill' was emphasized. "You said something about some sort of message on the wall?" I asked motioning with my hand. "what did it say?"

"um, CE equals BE or something like that." He shrugged

I laughed a little. Vanessa Evans plus Chris Evans equals Baby Evans. It was a stupid joke-an Easter egg if you will. Shonda put in the show on the whiteboard in one of our love scenes as a way to announce our pregnancy to the audience. She often left clues to the next episode in every episode except this one was not only in the show but in real life.

"Chris Evans." I say extending my hand out to him. I'm pretty sure he knew by the little smile playing on his face. He shook my hand and nodded his head.

"I know. I'm a big marvel fan, I know all your lines." Jared chuckled and then cleared his throat as he nervously laughed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jared Padalecki - I know I said that already..."

I introduced him to Dodger and I felt a little more relaxed. I gathered that she was alive and we both came to the assumption that they were traveling together.

"Where do you think their headed?" I asked as we walked to his car which was tricked out and full of ammunition and guns. Not to mention government level protective gear.

"While I was in there, I picked up someone else. Heavy footed and big, traveling with dogs. Hair everywhere." He went on tossing me a bullet proof vest. "You heard of Sanctuary?"

"The safety place? Yeah, but it's hard to find. It's for people who get caught in the Purge right?"

He narrowed his brow and shook his head. "No." Said Jared sharply. "Sanctuary is a secret government funded task force. It started off as a conspiracy some myth to explain all the random disappearances throughout the year. It's a government project designed for population control." He went on

"Ok...what does that have anything to do with the Purge?"

"Everything. An organization designed to control the US population. We're talking Pro killers who were once on a leash, but when that horn sounded and the Purge began, they are just as free to kill anyone they want." Said Jared handing me an ipad. It was a list of celebrities. From pro athletes like Steph Curry and their immediate families to movie stars and singers like Rhianna and Tom Cruise. "There are rumors that they are hunting celebrities. The kardashians and Jenner's are fair game. If not the stars themselves then they choose their parents, brothers and sisters."

"And do what?" I asked quietly as I saw mine and Vanesssa picture

"Most get auctioned off to the highest bidder, I've also heard they kill them on the spot for money or bring them in to fight for the death. Bottom line, there is a bounty on our heads. During the Purge everyone is fair game, their is no protection."

"You're telling me she's out there being hunted by them right now?" I asked

“Possibly. The dog hair isn’t a breed we know. They are a combination of hunting canines, bloodhound, foxhound, Labrador retriever with the built and aggression of a something like a pit bull a Rottweiler.” Said Jared as I looked up from the iPad and gave it back. “You’re gonna need more than a kitchen knife. We find the dogs and the hunter and we’ll find them.”

He held a gun out to me and wiped my mouth with the palm of my hand trying to mentally prepare for what is to come."

“Do you believe in the Purge?” I asked still questioning why his car was full of weapons. “You kill people?”

He nodded his head. “Yes. I don’t believe in hiding or waiting for someone to kill me. We all have the right to Purge."

"What's stopping you from killing me?"

Jared sighed and shook his head. "I'm hunting them. I'm surviving and if you decide to threaten my survival, then I'll kill you." He went over to the driver side of his Ford charger. "Get in. Knowing Gia she is headed for Roberts hole."

"What's that?" I asked climbing in the passenger seat of the car.

“It’s a Cassino for celebrities. Jack Black owns it. It’s locked up right but open to his favorites during the Purge.”

“They’ll be there?”

“Relax.” He out his hand in my shoulder and looked at me as dodger sat in the back seat. “We will find them. You know how to shoot don’t you?” Jared raised his gun in the air and nodded my head.

I guess it wasn’t confidently and he chuckled. “Vanessa isn’t a fan of guns.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll practice. Ok?”

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: Sorry it took so long😬 don’t hate me, please. Lol, I hope everyone is doing well and safe out here. If you wanna be tagged leave it in the ask box, Anyways…Untill next time!

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[yourfangirlfriend]

It’s Nothing Serious - Chapter Seven

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Five and a Half

Chapter Six

A/N: Hey. Been a while. Here’s an update and a loose promise I’ll be better? Also thanks for all the notes, comments, and messages recently! I forget who wanted to be on the tag list, but comment and I’ll know for next time!

“It’s not serious.”

 You pinch the bridge of your nose.

 “Mother.” 

 “It’s not. You’re really overreacting.”

 You curl your fingers into the bed of your palm and feel the bite of your nails digging into the flesh. “It’s cancer.”

 “Psssh.”

 You want to throw the phone across the room. Instead, you screw your eyes shut and lean back against the wall.

 “Do you have an appointment soon?”

 “You know I don’t like hospitals.” She says just as you see the deadbolt to your apartment flick unlocked. Javi pushes in seconds later, looking just as tired as you feel. You give him a little wave.

 “Well weigh that dislike of hospitals against your dislike of death,” you say, turning away and putting your hand on your hip. You don’t want to burden him with this, but you see his eyebrows perk up anyway. Shit. You lower your voice. “Can’t Dad sit with you? Or Luna?”

 “You worry too much.” She chides.

 “You don’t worry enough!” You scold into the phone. You feel a hand around your waist and turn just in time to get a kiss on your forehead. It calms you down.

 Sighing, you regain your composure. “Mom? Please promise me you’re going to go back.”

 “Well of course I’ll go back, Bean, but really, I don’t want you worrying about me.” Somewhere in the background, you hear a crash behind her.

 “Mom?”

 “It’s just your father. He’s putting up shelves for the crystals and I think he fell. Can I call you back?”

 You sigh. The only thing your mother is worse at than soothing your anxiety is calling you back.

 “Yeah, sure.” You say. “But actually call?”

 “I always do.”

 “Hmm.”

 “Bye Bean, I love you.”

 “I love you too,” you say before you hear the line go dead. You put the phone back on the hook and drop your head, trying it to calm yourself down. From the couch, you hear Javi perk up.

 “Sounds like you had a worse day than me.”

 You look up and give him a weak smile. “We’re having a lot of those, recently.”

  How long are honeymoon periods supposed to last? You would have at least guessed six months. That only seems fair, given the seven months of angst and hookups that preceded finally, finally being able to admit to one another that maybe this meant a little more than you led on. You would have taken three months, even- three months of everything just being calm and quiet and nice, where the most stressful thing to happen is burning dinner because you’re too busy fucking on the counter.

 You moved to the wrong fucking city.

 It wasn’t even a week after your drunken exchange of I-love-yous that it began. All those bodies piling up once more, only this time the cops and their allies were giving just as good as they had got. Bodies from both sides seemed to pile up in higher stacks all around you two. Three days hadn’t passed without you having to calm down one of your students -or worse, one of your fellow teachers- over recent events. It was getting to you, too, if you were honest. Javi had warned you against going out like you once did, and as much as you hated it, you knew he was right. You thought of the friends of friends who had disappeared or died, caught in the crossfire or in the consequences of their poor decisions. The more you heard, the more you wanted to lock yourself in your apartment, hidden away from the chaos of the outside. You managed to see your friends at work but meet-ups outside had dwindled severely. Alessa found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to risk it. Lisa’s brother-in-law got caught in between two sides of a gunfight and couldn’t work any longer, so she was helping them more around the house. Maritza was the only one who still tried to go out, but it was a rare occasion you could even gather everyone up for a dinner at home.

 Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if you could have spent all this new, anxious free time with Javi, but if anything, he had picked up your slack when it came to existing in the outside world. Since Los Pepes had entered the picture, the man worked around the clock. Sometimes you would go the whole evening without seeing him, only to be awoken to the feeling of his body falling on the bed next to yours. While he still insisted on driving you to work every morning, he had begun staying at the office later and later, sometimes not returning until 2 am. The fire and anger that once fuelled him seemed to have died out, and the poor man is running on fumes. You could see it when you both woke in the morning in the dark circles under his eyes and the uptick in cigarettes he had been smoking. You try and take care of him - bringing him coffee in bed, rubbing his shoulders when he sits up, lost in his own thoughts. He appreciates it, he tells you as much, but no matter how hard you try he’s still as weary as ever when he finally comes back to you.

 You don’t want to add to that. You know that what he’s seeing at work must be leagues beyond your little pep-talks and lonely evenings, and you don’t think it’s worth mentioning even if it has started to take its toll on you. You miss your friends. You miss days at work where the kids are sunny and mischievous, instead of withdrawn and scared. Hell, you miss your boyfriend- it feels weird calling a man his age that- you’re supposed to be in loved-up bliss, but instead it seems the universe decided to throw you another curveball. You overcame the intimacy issues only to come face to face with this bullshit not days later.

 And now your mom is sick.

 Javi gets up from the couch and comes to stand beside you, his tired hand dropping down to take your fingers. You smile at the effort, which seems small, but you know takes so much for him these days. You reach up to wipe a stupid tear out of your eyes.

 “Swear she thinks she could cure this with sage and essential oil,” you try to joke. He doesn’t say anything, only runs his thumb along your cheek bone and tilt your chin up to look at him. You try and give him a smile before another year drops down your face. Frustrated, you press your hands into your eyes and let out a groan.

 “Fuck.” You say. You drop your hands and look back at him. “I’m sorry.”

 “What are you sorry for, huh?” He asks.

 You shake your head.

 “I don’t…I don’t know.” I’m sorry I can’t be soft and happy for you when you come home? I’m sorry that he has to spend all day on the front lines and come back to this mess? “Things have been rough lately. I don’t want to add anything to your pile.”

 “It’s not my pile that’s getting added to,” he pulls you against him, pressing a kiss against your head once more. You close your eyes and let out a sigh. “You okay, hermosa?”

 You nod, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes. “They caught it early. She’s just stubborn. She’ll go, though. Her dad was an oncologist. She pretends like she doesn’t know, but…” you shake your head. “Fucking parents, huh?”

 “Yeah,” he says, reaching out to push a loose curl behind your ear. “Fuckin’ parents.”

 You relax into him, letting your head dip down into the dip when his neck connects to his chest. He brings his arms around you to keep you there. The two of you stand like that for a moment, two idiots swaying to the silence of the world’s chaos.

 “You’re not bad,” you sigh against him, snuggling in deeper. “For an alcoholic cop.”

 He chuckles. “Agent.” He combs his fingers through your hair. “You’re not bad for a teacher who lets strange men finger her in a supply closet.”

 You hold a finger up. “One time.”

 He catches your hand and brings your fingers up to his lips, kissing the tips. It’s enough to make you melt.

 “I am sorry,” he says, placing your hand against his chest and holding it there. “About your mom.”

 You sigh. “What can you do?”

 “Do you need to go back?”

 “I’d never hear the end of it if I did,” you pull away from him and make for the coffee table, where you had set out two drinks for Javi’s arrival before your mother had called. You pick them up and extend one to him, and he takes it gratefully, dropping onto the couch next to you. “She’s convinced I worry too much. Me, her brilliant daughter who chose to live in the middle of a war zone,” you purse your lips. “Sorry,” you say.

 He shakes his head. “You’re right,” he leans forward to set his drink down on the coffee table before resting his elbows on his knees, bending forward in a pose of contemplation. Sensing the shift in the air, you sit up and run your fingers along his back.

 “Javi- I didn’t mean…”

 He shakes his head again. “This thing…it’s a fucking mess. All of it.” He sighs. “Sick of seeing fucking bodies.”

 You reach for something to say to comfort him, but you know there’s nothing. Instead, you scoot closer to him, resting your chin on his shoulder.

 “Have you thought about it? Going back to Texas for a while?” He asks.

 You shake your head. “She doesn’t want me to. And neither do I,” you reach up and lace your fingers through his, unclasping a worried hand. He turns to you, his eyes flicking up and down your face.

 “You shouldn’t stay here because of me. You’d be safer.”

 You blow a raspberry. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Sensing he took the joke to heart, you nudge him with your chin. “I’m here because I want to be here. With the kids. With you.”

 He turns back to face forward, and you’re unsure if he’s satisfied with your answer before he speaks again.

 “If anything happens to you…” he shakes his head. It forms a pit in your stomach.

 You reach out and press his hand against the center of your chest. When he looks at you puzzled, you smile. “See? Still beating. Think that’s a good sign.”

 He sighs, but not without a small smile on his face. Taking advantage of the moment, you reach out and take him by the chin, pulling him in for a long kiss. When you break away, his hands come up to pull your face back to his, and you can’t help but smile as he presses his lips against your mouth and begins to trail down your neck.

 “Yeah,” he says, kissing the pulse point that makes you shiver. “I think it’s a good sign.”

      You’re not great at taking care of yourself when you’re stressed out. Who is, really? You hope he hasn’t noticed, though, the way the bags under your eyes have darkened to match his or how much more quickly you seem to go through liquor bottles. You want to think he doesn’t notice- that he’s too focused on other things, but it’s getting harder to pretend. You try and rally your energy every time you see him. You want to be this bright spot for him in the middle of all this chaos and violence. You cook, you clean, and you go down on him like you want to live the rest of your life on your knees. You smile. You joke. You try to be pure sunshine in the bullshit he’s caught in.

 But now your mom’s sick. And, fuck, you’re empty.

 He must notice it. He has to see it when he comes home to you, and your house is a mess. He has to hear it when you spend the next few weeks by the phone, arguing with your family- Luna is too busy with the baby to go home, your father doesn’t want to believe it’s real, and your mother-fuck! - she keeps telling you not to worry. Not to worry! Like the few times she calls, she doesn’t tell you offhandedly how much worse she’s getting. Like you’re not trying to keep yourself from telling her how you hear gunshots every night, or how you can’t go a week without seeing a dead body. Like you’re not protecting everyone from your feelings because surely, they have it worse. You know everyone has it worse. How do you compete with cancer and being a foot soldier in the war on drugs? You’re just some teacher. You’re just some lady in over her head. Like everyone else in this country.

     Maybe it was just a bad day when he came home that Wednesday. For both of you. One of your students’ siblings had died the day before, and you had spent the majority of the day trying not to cry alongside an eight-year-old. You had been trying to reach your mother for days, but the calls kept getting picked up by the answering machine and you couldn’t come up with any other way to say, “please call me back and tell me you’re okay”. When you finally came home, it was to a messy house - why are you so disappointed? it’s been a disaster for weeks- and you barely have enough energy to kick a few things out of a sort of path. You check your messages, willing there to be one overlooked recording of your mother’s voice assuring you she’s doing fine before her scheduled surgery, but the tape is woefully empty, just as it was yesterday and the day before. You pick the stupid machine up from the table and throw it to the ground.

 You chain-smoked three cigarettes by your window, zoning out into the ether as night descended upon you so gradually until it was suddenly dark. You thought of your student, the one who came home to a massacred older sibling, and your stomach cramps. Before you can stop yourself, you imagine your mother in the same position they described to you that morning- spread out like a starfish on the floor, eyes wide open and dull as they stare up to the ceiling, a halo of blood around their head. Your throat itches and you light a fourth cigarette.

 When you went to the refrigerator, finally, but discovered upon opening the door that you had once again forgotten to go grocery shopping. The only things that stared back at you were three-day-old pasta leftovers, some eggs, and a few beers.

 “Fucking idiot,” you said to yourself.

 You pulled out the carton of eggs and had begun to whisk them together when you heard the door creak open. You turned around to call out a greeting but bit your tongue when you saw his face. A deep scowl marked his otherwise handsome features, and he had already lit a cigarette before coming in.

 “Hey,” he said as if he was annoyed with you. You tried to ignore it, focusing instead on the eggs in front of you. He made for the couch, stripping off his jacket as he walked.

 “Fuck!”

 You turned around to see him wavering, trying to regain his balance. He reaches out and grabs the edge of the counter, but it’s stacked so high with papers that his hand slips and he’s falling back onto the floor- but not before hitting the back of his head. You run around, dropping to your knees beside him as he pulls a bloodied hand from the back of his head.

 “Hang on- “you run to the sink and grab a wet towel. Jogging back to him, you reach out to nurse the area when he snatches the rag out of your hand.

 “I can do it myself,” he says. “Why is your fucking answering machine on the floor?”

 You feel stupid and lost for words, like a child who just got scolded. You hold your hands in front of you.

 “I want to help- “

 “If you want to help, why don’t you clean the fucking apartment?” He snaps.

 Your eyes widen. He’s been grumpy for weeks, surly even, but there’s an extra bit of venom in his voice tonight. Before today, maybe you would have called him on it, snatched the rag out of his hand, and told him to go fuck himself, to go to his place and bleed over his own towels.

 But…fuck you’re tired. You have been hanging by a thread all day and the only thing that was keeping your eyes dry was the thought of curling up with him tonight. Maybe if one of the many, horrible things hadn’t happened today you would already be kicking his ass out, instead of standing there dumb and speechless, taking this abuse you don’t deserve.

 So, you let him have the rag. You turn back and walk to the kitchen and keep making the eggs.

 He has it worse. He has it worse.

  You two eat dinner in silence. You can tell he’s not pleased with the meager meal, but he just grunts and shovels it into his mouth. You barely eat, picking at little bites like a bird. Instead, you think about how chemotherapy makes people lose their appetite, and wonder if your mother can eat right now. You imagine her too-long blonde hair must have begun to fall out, and for a moment you think you can feel the sickly strands tightening around your fingers. It’s all-encompassing, and you don’t hear when Javi tries to get your attention.

 “Eloise!”

 You jerk your head up, your blank face meeting his. He frowns.

 “I said do you want a drink,”

 “Oh,” you say, softly. You shake your head. “No.”

 He rolls his eyes and pushes up from the table, going to the liquor cabinet. When he pulls the doors open, his head drops, disappointed.

 “You’re out.”

 “Oh?” You turn around. He turns and sends you a look.

 “Yeah.” He says

 “I forgot to go to the…” you wave your hand.

 “Seems like you forgot to do a lot of things,” he sighs. You frown, a bit taken aback by his annoyance. But yet again, you bite your tongue. He sighs and walks towards the table, snatching up his keys.

 “Where are you-?”

 “To get some from my apartment.” He says. He swings the door open with too much power, and when it falls closed with a crack it makes your shudder.

 Across the room, the phone rings.

 You scramble to your feet, nearly tripping over that same answering machine that had claimed Javi. You yank the phone off the hook, shoving the phone to your ear.

 “Mom?” Your voice is like a little girl’s.

 “What?” The male voice says. Your shoulders deflate.

 “Sorry,” you say, pressing your hand to your forehead. You look up as the door to your apartment swings open again, and Javi walks in with a storm cloud over his head, whiskey clutched in his fist. “He just walked in, hang on.” You hold the phone out to Javi. “Steve.”

 He lets out a sigh and walks forward, taking the phone from your hand. In a daze, you walk towards the kitchen and begin to clean up the few dishes you dirtied, your mind zoning in and out of reality. You don’t notice you’re just standing with the water running until a hand comes from the corner of your eye and switches the tap off.

 “Stop watering the pipes,” Javi says. He walks back to the table and lights a cigarette, sitting down and kicking his feet up. You turn back to look at him.

 “Everything alright?” You ask.

 He scoffs. “No, it’s not fucking alright.” He takes a drag and blows a plume of smoke out. He looks up to you, his eyes darting to the glass he left by your hand. He makes to sit up.

 “I’ll get it,” you say, and you pick it up, walking over towards him. You’re just about to hand it to him when your ankle gives, and you drop the glass, spilling his drink over his pants.

 “Goddammit!” He yelps. He looks up at you - and you know it’s not you, you know he’s had a bad day, you know there’s so much on his plate- but the snarl he has feels like a punch to the stomach.

 “I’m sorry, let me- “you reach for the napkins you thought were on the table before realizing you forgot to buy those, too. Your hand flails around you as you’re caught in your anxiety.

 “You’ve done enough,” he grumbles, pushing up and walking past you to pull a rag from the counter.

 You’re not sure why hearing him blotting his pants behind you does it, but you feel it immediately. That hot, wet trail down your face. And once that first tear is loose, you know you can’t stop. Suddenly, you’re silently weeping, snot and water running down your face as your shoulders shake and you reach up to try and hold yourself.

You let out a long breath, but it comes out as shaky, and the sounds from behind you stop.

 “…El?”

 You begin to paw at your face but realize it’s a lost cause. Shaking your head, you ignore him and walk back to your bedroom, closing the door behind you before dropping against the wall.

 You were doing so well. You hadn’t cried, you hadn’t screamed at him during his shittier moods, you had been an angel. You pushed through all of this bullshit, hoping that, even though you couldn’t compete with his life, he would notice. He would realize how much of toll your own, lesser bullshit had begun to take on you, and had some sympathy. More than that, you had hoped he would appreciate it- how you never pushed him to take care of you, how you were always there for him with a meal and warm arms, how you were soldiering on for him through all the stress. You wanted him to think you some sort of martyr, a girlfriend who was pushing all her needs down to take care of him when he needed it most. If he was emotionally unable to reciprocate, he could at least fucking notice.

 But he didn’t. He was too up his own ass, too busy at work, too concerned with being the only person in this relationship with problems that he didn’t even fucking see how much your teeth nearly cracked every time you faked a smile for him. You were mad at yourself, too- you had folded into this smaller version of yourself after making excuses for him, and now you had the gall to be sad about it? You had paved this path. You tried to protect him from your pain, thinking it was kind, when really you were coddling him.

 You feel anger rise in your chest. You clench your fists in your hands, and you’re about to scream into your knees when you hear the soft knock on the door. Furled by anger, you stand up quickly and swing the door open to see a much softer looking Javi in the doorway.

 And that takes the wind out of your sails. Instead of laying into him like you wanted, you let out a pathetic sob. Immediately he’s pulling you towards him and you’re caught in a tight hold as you sob into one of his nicer shirts.

 “El,” he says softly, and you choke out another sob on his shoulder. Carefully, the two of you descend to the floor of your bedroom as he keeps his hold on you, tracing his fingers up and down your back as you continue to cry against him.

 His tone is soothing as he circles through what little he can say - “baby” and “I’m sorry” and “it’s okay”. As your cries come to a slow, you pull away from him and try to wipe your face.

 “Baby,” he says again, reaching out to touch your cheek. You dare to make eye contact, and, fuck, it breaks your heart. He looks like a little boy who just realized he had crossed a line. You let out a pathetic little hiccup as you wipe your eyes again.

 “I’ve tried- “you stutter on your words as your tears keep falling. “I- I know it’s hard for you, really fucking hard, I know my d-day to day can’t compare to the shi-shit you see,” you try to take in a deep breath. His hand runs down your arm. “But I’m not doing okay. And I’ve tried to put that aside to t-take care of you, but - fuck, I need- “you feel yourself begin to hyperventilate. Fuck, you haven’t cried this hard since you were a kid.

 “What do you need, baby?”

 “Fuck, Javi, my mom is dying!” You yell. “She’s dying and I can’t get a hold of her. And every day I have to go to the school and hear more awful fucking stories about other kids’ families dying. I have to let them think I have any kind of answer when I fucking don’t! I’m just as lost as they are! I’m in my godamn thirties and all I want is to hug my fucking mommy, too!” You huff a few more breaths. “But I can’t, so I pretend. And I come home to you, and I- fuck, I love you so much, and I don’t want to burden you or make you take care of me when you have it so, so much worse but today- “you swallow, your mouth dry from crying - “today she was supposed to go in for surgery. And I haven’t heard anything. I spent all of lunch not eating because an eight-year-old, a fucking eight-year-old! Was telling me that she found her brother with a gunshot wound between his eyes. And I can’t do anything to help her! Just like I can’t do anything to help my fucking mother who won’t even call her daughter back to leave a message to say ‘hey! I SURVIVED SURGERY’. And maybe if I hadn’t had all of that I could put up with your shitty moods like I have been for weeks because I know it’s hard and I know you have it worse but today I just-I fucking couldn’t! I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t take YOU yelling at me when all I wanted was for you to fucking- I don’t know! Pull me in your lap and pet my hair! Ask me how my day was! Ignore my dirty apartment the way I’ve ignored your passive-aggressive moody bullshit for a month because you understand I’m not doing the fucking best right now! And I need the person who loves me to fucking act like it!” You fall forward, sobbing again. The arm on your shoulder drops, and you expect for a moment he’s going to get up and leave you to cry into the night. Instead, though, he scoots back until his back leans against the footboard of the bed. You look up in time to see him open his arms.

 “Come here,” he says.

 Too eager, you scramble over to him as he pulls you against him, petting your arms and face as you keep weeping against him.

 “I’m sorry,” he says. “I do see it. I do. I promise.”

 You hiccup and he pulls you tighter.

 “I know you have it worse- “you start.

 “Stop,” he says, pressing your head against his chest.

 You keep crying over the next half hour as he whispers sweet things to you. When you’ve exhausted yourself, you drop your head to his lap, fading in and out of consciousness as his fingers comb through your hair, soft and comforting. You don’t quite remember him urging you up and into bed, but by the time you’ve regained your senses somewhat he’s pulled your back against him, tucking his nose into the nape of your neck.

 “I’m sorry,” you say softly. He shakes his head.

 “You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He says. “Go to sleep, hermosa.”

 You do.

     The next morning is quiet. The two of your dress quickly and rush out the door, having slept past your alarm. He tells you briefly he’s got a lot on at work today, and you take it as a sign you’ll be walking back this afternoon. You nod and give him a quick peck before running up the stairs to the school, at least somewhat happy to have avoided talking about last night.

 So, you don’t expect it when you leave the school one afternoon and see him waiting for you outside, his arms crossed on his chest, aviators on, posed in front of his car like he’s in a film. You fight the urge to smirk when you drop down to the final step and his mouth jerks up at the corner.

 “You look like a cliche,” you deadpan, walking up to give him a quick kiss. Only, it’s not quick- you try to pull away tastefully, but he takes you by your waist and pulls you into a deeper kiss. You give him a swat on his shoulder but return it regardless, luxuriating in the attention. It feels nice.

 “Get in the car,” he says when he finally pulls away. You tilt your head.

  “You takin' me somewhere?”

 “Not if you don’t get in the damn car,” he swats your ass, causing you to shriek, before beginning to walk around the front. Despite yourself, you smile as you clamber in.

 You don’t ask questions throughout the whole drive, but you admit you’re a bit disappointed when you just pull back up to your apartment building. You try and mask it, hopping out of the car and waiting expectantly for him to come around and join you. He climbs the stairs quickly, beating you to the door to hold it open.

 Without thinking, you reach for your keys. It’s almost muscle memory now. You haven’t been to his place for any real time in months. You think it reminds him too much of work.

 Except, now he’s nodding you over to his door he’s begun to unlock. You come to stand by him, eying him as he fiddles with the lock. As the bolt clicks, he smiles, then turns to you.

 “Close your eyes,” he says.

 “Really?”

 “Fuck you. Yea really.”

 With a small grin on your face, you make a show of daintily closing your eyes. You see a flash of light- him waving his hands in front of your face. Convinced you really have your eyes closed, you hear the door open, then feel a warm hand taking your own. You walk inside, blindly stepping after him until he drops his hand, and you feel his hands come to rest on your shoulders.

 “Alright,” he says.

 You open your eyes, and it takes you a while to realize what he’s even made a fuss about. In front of you are two plates with a single sandwich and a side of potato chips. You’re kind of annoyed for a second- when you surprise him, it’s always with a cake or really good head, never just dinner. Dinner that’s basically a sandwich.

 You turn to look at him before noticing that the apartment has been cleaned up. You swivel around, taking in the sight, noticing the repaired answering machine has been put carefully back on the side table. You haven’t seen your home this clean in a while, and you realize that he must have done this, too. You start to say something, but he’s already pulling out your chair for you, urging you to sit down. Lost for words, you drop yourself into the seat and watch as he comes around to sit in front of you. He waits for you to say something, but when you don’t, he begins.

 “It’s not much,” he says finally. “But you were right. I’ve been a dick, and I’m not the only one with shit on my plate.” He rubs the back of his neck. “When my mom was sick…I should be better to you. For you.” He bites his lip. When you still don’t say anything, he continues. “I’m sorry, El. You’re so…good, and I’m…” he shakes his head. You reach out your hand, covering his. There’s a flash of a smile across his face. “I called sick to work. They were having me doing bullshit paperwork, anyway. Murphy can handle that.” He clears his throat. “It’s uh, not much, but a rich guy owed me a favor, and he had a smoker. I had some old rubs from Señora Garza, the one with the hands? My dad sent me them from back home a while, and I know it’s not going home, but I know you miss the food- “you reach forward and pull the top of the sandwich off.

 Brisket.

 You look up at him, and you start to cry.

 His face drops, alarmed. “Oh- no, baby- “

 “Javi,” you wipe a tear away. “This is- this is - “you bend forward and let out another small cry. Immediately, he’s on his feet, coming around to kneel beside you. Just as he’s about to say something, you lean forward and catch his face in your hands, pulling him in for a kiss. It’s long and warm, and when he finally breaks away, you’re rewarded with a bright smile.

 “You like it?”

 “I love- I love it.” You say, running a hand through his hair. “This is very sweet.”

 He looks down, pleased with himself. You lean forward and press a kiss to his forehead. He reaches up and takes your hands.

 “I…I really love you, El,” he says, not quite daring to look you in the eyes until he’s finished his sentence. “I just hope you know that.”

 You nod before pressing another kiss to his lips. “I do,” you say. “Even when…I do know, Javi.”

 He nods, and the two of you sit there, blissed out together for a moment before he lets out a breath.

 “Well, you better eat. Fucking thing took six hours to smoke, better not let it get too cold.”

 You let out a laugh as he stands and comes to sit across from you. With a smile, the two of you eat. It’s not the perfect approximation of the food back home, but it’s enough to fill you with the comfort you had been craving for weeks. Javi watches, proud of himself as you lick the remaining sauce off a finger, smiling at the flavor.

 “You did good, Peña.” You say, flicking your eyes back to him. He smiles, tossing the napkin down between the two of you before making to stand. He walks over and extends a hand down to you, and you raise your eyebrows.

 “Is there more to eat?” You ask, somewhat hopeful. It’s impossible, but if he found a way to get a malt shake down here too you think you’d have to spend the next three weeks with his dick in your mouth.

 “Something like that,” he says, urging you up. You send him a playful look as he reaches behind you and pulls the zipper to your skirt. With strong hands, he pulls your underwear and skirt down to your ankles, dropping to his knees to let you step out of them. With a twinkle in his eye, he smiles up at you.

 “Go sit on the couch,” he orders. “And keep your knees apart.”

   Turns out his surprises come with pretty good head, too.

A/N: Idk if this is of any interest but in my head Eloise is played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. But of course, you cast her however you like!! She’s yours, too

[ickle-ronniekins]

it was all yellow

request from nonnie!!! “hi love, wanted to throw out this request before camping ;u; only if you're up for it, for either of the twins: i'd love something fluffy inspired by one of my favorite text posts on this site: she guessed my favorite color first try.. but between me and u.. i didnt even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow! she was hella excited n smiling like a little kid, so i told her she was right and i havent seen yellow the same since, its in everything. i could probably live in it now. 🌻”

pairing: fred x hufflepuff!reader

word count: 3k

A/N: love me a good cheeky fred. also this prompt was FUCKING adorable and i did try to incorporate the actual quote into my writing but some of it didn’t flow.. so i hope it’s still as good as you’d imagined?? also def listened to coldplay’s “yellow” whilst writing this x

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic | message me to be added, loves!

“Mr. Weasley!”

Umbridge’s voice is shrill, and it immediately pulls Fred out of his daydream-like state, but not quickly enough for him to turn his attention toward his professor and avoid making incredibly embarrassing eye contact with you. The entire class, much to his dismay, turns to glance at him -- you included. It’s unlike him to feel so insecure, so embarrassed, but alas -- here he is.

“Yes, Professor?”

“Is there a reason,” Umbridge hisses, the edges of her lips curling into a rather evil smirk, “that you’ve chosen to completely ignore me during the lesson?”

Fred considers this for a moment. He could take this opportunity to explain to his professor that yes, now that you mention is, there is a reason. A huge reason. He could then proceed to tell you about all of the overwhelming feelings that have seemed to take over him the last few weeks. It could be a grand gesture, couldn’t it? Scooping you up into his arms, sliding a hand around the back of your neck, telling you just exactly what keeps him up at night -- that adorable smile of yours, and the pineapple scent in your hair. It’d be all the castle would be able to talk about, wouldn’t it? Plus, to be able to ignore Umbridge even more and do something so utterly abysmal in the middle of her lesson and have the rest of the students cheer him on, well -- it’s something Fred’s always dreamt of.

“I’d love to see the look on Umbridge’s face if I ever chose to cause mayhem in the middle of one of her lessons,”

“Easy there, Freddie. Don’t want to go getting any more detentions, do we?”

“Darling, mischief is my middle name. I need to prank. My life depends on it.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it? Just trying to look out for you, is all.”

“You’ve really got that Hufflepuff stereotype of ‘loyal’ down -- you know that, right?”

He supposes, when he thinks about it now, that you were right. You’re always right. He reckons it wouldn’t be such a good thing to cause such an uproar, especially since Umbridge is nearly always on his tail, and is one step closer to knocking Dumbledore out of his post as Headmaster. Fred doesn’t want to give her any more of an edge, does he?

Next to him, George brings Fred back, yet again, from another daydream with a quick kick to his knee. He grips the desk tightly and hopes that his face isn’t flushing bright red. Umbridge’s smirk grows even deeper, and Fred, ignoring his instincts to grab you and run out of the lesson right this instant, merely clears his throat. “No. There isn’t.”

“Good,” Umbridge hisses again, turning her attention back toward the board. “Now, to continue..” Fred relaxes a bit and slumps in his seat, feeling rather grumpy, but his spirits lift almost immediately, and his insides seemingly twist into a tight knot when you send him a soft smile from across the room.

-- -

Fred is shaken awake, only to be face to face with a very cheeky looking George, who then proceeds to throw a notebook straight into Fred’s cheek.

“Oi!” Fred shouts, coming to, bringing his hand to his jaw. “What the bloody hell was that for?”

“You do realize it’s the middle of the day and you’ve fallen asleep directly in the middle of the courtyard, yes?”

Fred kicks the younger twin with his foot, and George and Lee begin to laugh. Fred had been having quite a lovely sleep, thank you very much, and is now annoyed that his brother and friend had chosen to wake him. As he sits up from the bench, adjusting his loose tie and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Lee offers, “You talk a hell of a lot in your sleep, mate.”

Much to his horror, Fred freezes. This whole talking-in-his-sleep thing is relatively new -- he’d never, ever done that before. It seemed to have happened to him a couple of weeks ago, when he began repeating the days’ events -- ones that included you -- over and over in his mind before falling into a peaceful, and rather deep, slumber. It seemed to have happened when he started to look at you in a new light.

“And what exactly was I saying?” Fred asks, trying to shrug off his nervousness.

George and Lee both suppress a laugh and share a cheeky exchange, and Fred feels his heart leap into his throat. “Oh, you know.. mumbling on about lessons, and things. Bits of parchment you need to finish. Normal musings.”

Fred sighs rather dramatically before relaxing again. He hates this whole being-on-edge thing that comes with having a massive, over-the-top crush on you. “Oh,” George continues, his grin only growing larger, “and something about Y/N being the colour of sunshine, or something?”

As Fred’s eyes widen with embarrassment, George and Lee’s laughter only seems to grow louder and it echoes across the courtyard. This grabs your attention from across the way, and you smirk at Fred. You seem to be working on a bit of homework -- you’re leant against a large tree with your bag and robe next to you on the ground. Your hair is pulled back and you’ve got the end of your quill in your mouth, as if you had been pondering something right before you met Fred’s gaze.

“Thank Merlin she wasn’t over here, or you would’ve scared the poor girl away,” Lee says in a mocking sort of voice, which only seems to intensify Fred’s nerves.

Fred can’t help but fall into a bit of laughter with his friends too, even though the mere fact that he’d been talking in his sleep, about you, in the middle of the courtyard, makes his entire body hurt. ‘Thank Merlin’ is right.

-- -

The colour of sunshine. Ugh. How could he have been so painfully cheesy? Fred thinks about this all day long -- through every lesson, through every stroll down the corridors, through every bite of the evening feast. He can’t simply believe he’s said this out loud, even though it’s true. The truest words that have ever come out of his mouth, even. You are the colour of sunshine.

Simply bright and beamingly so -- the most beautiful of yellows.

You, he reckons, are pure warmth -- enough to soothe him on even the coldest of days.

“You know,” your voice, now closer than it seems, makes Fred jump and snap out of his own thoughts, much to George’s amusement, “this whole not-being-able-to-eat-with-your-mates-from-other-houses thing is simply stupid.”

“Why don’t you go and give Umbridge a piece of your mind, eh?” George asks you.

Your grin deepens, but you shake your head and begin to shovel dessert onto your plate. “It’s her own fault if she doesn’t notice a Hufflepuff amongst a group of Gryffindors. She’s supposed to be the Hogwarts High Inquisitor,” you say a bit stuffily, as if to imitate the woman in question, “is she not?”

“Brilliant,” Fred replies as he finds his voice. “An uncanny impersonation.”

You flip your hair over your shoulder and Fred notices a dimple appear on your cheek. He finds himself lost in your eyes as you peer at him softly over the top of your teacup, which you’ve brought slowly to your lips.

Fred’s happy to hear when you bring his all time favorite thing about the magical world into conversation and does his very best to hide his ever-obvious feelings. “Rumor has it McGonagall and Dumbledore have been pleading with Umbridge to let Gryffindor play Quidditch this year,” you tell the twins.

They peer at you with confusion. “What?” they ask together. Fred continues, “Why? What’s she going to do -- ban all teams except Slytherin? Then they’ve got nobody to verse,” he lets a laugh escape his lips.

George huffs a bit before sipping his tea. “She’s such a bloody idiot. No, I will say it louder, Ron,” George shoots his younger brother a look as Ron closes in on himself a bit, “she’s a power-hungry, egotistical toad who has no business running a bloody school.”

“The truest statement,” you point at him and then bite into your cauldron cake, “but no worry -- she’s apparently agreed to the whole Quidditch thing. Now you two’ve just got to smack the bludgers straight at Crabbe and Goyle’s heads. They’re certainly large enough -- should be easy targets.”

Fred cannot help the enormous laugh that escapes him due to your joke; in fact, he’s sort of surprised it’s only gotten the attention of half of the Great Hall, because it seems to have echoed throughout the entirety of the large room, reverberating off of the walls. Unfortunately, though, Umbridge notices and makes a beeline right toward the Gryffindor table. You turn to Fred and George, shrug your shoulders a bit and proceed to roll your eyes at the very pompous “hem-hem” that is too disturbingly sweet and high-pitched in your ears. “Miss Y/L/N,” she says in her most mocking tone of voice, “please correct me if I am mistaken but I’ve assumed by the yellow color on your robes that you are a Hufflepuff and not, in fact, a Gryffindor, as you’ve so decidedly claimed yourself.”

You turn toward her, a very large grin painted across your face, and simply reply, “No need for corrections here, ma’am.”

“Good,” Umbridge says curtly before turning on her heel. “Best return to your house table, then, before we slip you lot into detention, yes? I do hope it was worth the embarrassment, Miss.”

Embarrassment? Please. You stand up from your seat and chug the rest of your tea and pop the rest of your cauldron cake back into your mouth. You lean against the table, reaching across to the other end to grab yourself another pastry, and get as close to Fred as you possibly can. He notices a bit of a twinkle in your eye, something that’s suddenly driving him absolutely mad, when you say to him and only him, “Definitely worth it.”

A very cozy feeling sweeps itself through Fred’s bones.

-- -

The Gryffindors are lucky to have such two stealthy beaters on their team, because Fred and George know the ins and outs of the castle like nobody else. This comes in handy after a playful, late night match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, when the twins are able to sneak the entire Hufflepuff team, and even a few spectators, into the Gryffindor Common Room.

And as if he isn’t excited enough already at the pure theatrics of this entire thing, Fred finds himself smiling even more so at the sight of you, nestled in a corner with a few others, a Butterbeer clutched tightly in your hands, your cheeks rosy and flushed.

He’s reminded of a few weeks ago when he snuck into the Hufflepuff Common Room with you -- very late at night --

“Don’t you trust me?” you’d asked, taking his hand in yours.

His heart had skipped a few beats, if he was being honest.

“Merlin, it’s bright in here!” Fred had exclaimed when you’d both entered. The inviting colours had swirled around him. “How you people get any work done is beyond me. I’d never be able to focus --”

You’d laughed and shoved him. “Fred, you can’t focus, regardless.”

He’d just shrugged and sat down next to you near the fire. The entire room was empty except for the two of you. “I’ll give you that one. It’s just -- it’s so much different from our common room.”

“Well, it’s bright yellow. Plus, it feeds to all of the ‘Puffs' personalities. What did you expect, silly?”

He’d smiled at you, nestling himself comfortably against the edge of the couch. I haven’t seen yellow the same since, he’d wanted to tell you, especially because of the golden colour of your hair. “Nothing more, nothing less. Besides, I’ve got to say -- I’m rather fond of it, actually.”

His heart had nearly constricted at the feeling of you placing your head onto his shoulder. He’d been happy you couldn’t see the shock rising on his face in that of a crimson red colour, since you’d been so focused on staring into the flames. He’d suddenly felt warm -- incredibly warm. He’d willed himself to believe it was the fire, and not the feeling of your soft hair brushing against his neck. “Oh yeah? Yellow your favourite colour, and all?”

I could get lost in it, actually. Fred had to force himself to swallow over his own nerves a few times before he’d been able to say, “You could say that.”

Now, in the Gryffindor Common Room, he darts past a very confused looking Neville and plops himself down next to you, completely ignoring the fact that he’s interrupting your conversation with the others. “Hey,”

“Well hi,” you say, turning your attention toward him. He can smell the pineapple scent of your shampoo and is nearly sent into a dizzying overdrive, but he does his best to focus on the feeling of the cold glass in his fingers. “Great match.”

“Even if we did beat you guys?”

“Yeah,” you reply tersely, “Hufflepuff’s saving their strength for your actual match so they can kick your arses.”

Fred laughs haughtily and scoots a little closer to you on the steps as the others around you both disperse and head off in their respective directions. He can hear the steady pounding of his own heartbeat in his ears and decides to take a leap of faith. “Maybe. Although I will say -- you’ve got to be more careful with your leering, love.”

“Meaning?”

“Pretty sure you didn’t take your eyes off of me the entire time. You were full-on staring.”

Fred notices the pink on your cheeks seemingly deepen a bit, but you don’t let on to any embarrassment. He grins at you. “Perhaps I was. And if you’ve noticed, it means you were watching me back,”

His smile only grows at your mock voice. He replies with the same tone, “Perhaps I was.”

“You can’t do that during an actual match though, sir,” you tell him, bringing your goblet to your lips and sipping significantly, “otherwise you’re going to be distracted and I reckon you’ll be hit with a bludger, don’t you?”

Fred twirls his goblet in his hands, desperately trying to read your face and your tone. He’s having a hard time deciphering. “You do make a good point.”

“Besides,” you continue, a small smirk making the edges of your lips curl, “we can’t have you getting distracted. Although, I understand how difficult it can be -- considering I’m the colour of sunshine, and all.”

It takes a moment and a laugh before Fred’s registered what you’ve said, and you glance back down at your goblet, giggling into it a bit, and he shakes his head before turning to look at George and Lee, who seemingly have been watching you two this entire time, because they immediately glance away and immerse themselves in conversation with others around them.

“And we know how brilliantly blinding sunshine can be, don’t we, Fred?”

Someone’s playing very loud music and Fred wonders how Umbridge hasn’t caught you all yet. Or perhaps, he thinks, maybe the booming just sounds louder in his own ears.

“Almost as blinding as love, d’you reckon?”

Fred feels that warm, homely feeling take him over yet again -- but this time, he knows it’s not from the butterbeer, or the raging fire. He doesn’t even try to pretend. It’s all from you.

“Yeah, yeah -- tease all you want,” he says as confidence engulfs him. He reaches out and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

You place your goblet down on the step next to you. “I wasn’t teasing,” you say very matter of factly, “so much as I was trying to get you to kiss me, actually.”

He purses his mouth into a very smug smirk and watches as your eyes dart down to his lips, and you bite down on your own. He leans in, the rest of the music and chatter surrounding you both seemingly drowned out by the steady pounding of his own heart, when --

“Oi, Freddie! C’mere, mate!”

Clearly Ron’s incapable of seeing that we’re in the middle of something, Fred wants to tell you. Instead, he pulls away slightly and whispers to you. “Want to sneak up to the Astronomy tower?”

“So late at night? How very scandalous of you.”

“Well it’s why you fancy me in the first place, isn’t it?”

He grabs your hand as you paint a very mischievous look on your face, and is about to stand up before you tug on the collar of his shirt with your free hand, pulling him back to you and pressing your lips to his in an electrified climax.

You try to part, but he pulls you closer to him and slides his hand down your leg. A soft moan emits your lips, and Fred wonders if he’d be able to sneak a Hufflepuff girl up to his own dormitory this evening. “Sorry,” you reply, biting down on your lip again, sending him into a complete tizzy. You whisper cheekily, “Just couldn’t wait.”

He smirks at you, hoping his giddiness isn’t blatantly evident in his exuberance, and pulls you to your feet. “Actually..” you say, playing again with his collar, “instead of the Astronomy tower, how about we head to the Room of Requirement?”

“No? Don’t want to look up at the stars, be all mushy, fall asleep in my arms?”

You actually snort through your laughter, rolling your eyes at him. “Yes, yes, of course I do, you sap. But I reckon we should save that for an actual date. Right now, I’d kind of just like to snog you for a few hours, if you don’t mind.”

He shakes his head at you with admiration. “What has gotten into you?”

Another hair flip from you sends warmth through Fred’s veins. “C’mon, Weasley,” you say, tugging his hand, the yellow fire reflecting in the light of your eyes, “don’t you trust me?”

[madmadmilk]

okay, fucking WOW. i need a place to rant and scream and cry a little bit. no need to read this,,,, (TW: homophobia, family)

wow.

wow.

wow.

i consider myself to be a pretty tolerant and open-minded person, i'll even ration out some patience towards ~prejudiced and idiotic people~ (if i have to). i 1000000% won't entertain their wack ass opinions, but i may not... totally cut them off for it. i just let them be...

but oh how fucking terrible.

(i'm working on clearing out the list of people i tolerate, ha)

but yeah. i have just been burned HORRENDOUSLY by my boyfriend's dad's-side of the family. i've put up with so many little things, but i may draw the permanent fucking line here....

maybe it's because i curate HAPPY, POSITIVE, and INCLUSIVE places for ME to hang out: within my family, with the friends i make, who i chose to share info with, with social media, with the movies and books i watch and read– i only make room for things that make me feel safe, and make my loved ones feel safe. it's pointless to live my life any other way than this. but maybe it has actually made me intolerant of having lasting relationships with people who make me feel otherwise

like..... it horribly feels like,,,, i fucking forgot how UGLY people are on the outside of this bubble. how truly IGNORANT, INSENSITIVE, DISGUSTING, and plain old MORONIC people are, when i'm forced to interact with them.

god. damn.

anyway here's what happened:

my bf's birthday is on sunday. he's celebrating with his lovely mom's side on saturday with a small picnic. then with his dad's family on sunday. (pretty much everyone is vaccinated except for me and him btw). but yeah, his mom's "party" is just him and i coming over for barbecue. his dad's would be something at home, and he told my BF to invite some friends over too, as long as the numbers stay below 10. fair, i guess. it just so happens that my boyfriend is closest friends with MY cousins right now; quarantine and PC gaming has brought them very very close together. it warms my heart that my family and my boyfriend accept each other so well.

sidenote: i'm cool with his mom's side. but his dad's side makes me feel like i need to consistently have my fists up and scowl on. they are horribly prejudiced.

so yeah, my boyfriend brought up inviting my three cousins over to his family. 3 whole brown filipino-chinese guys lol. extra detail but,, the oldest one is gay, and he asked if his boyfriend of 5 years could come over. [in my family, my cousin was super depressed before coming out– but since then, he is proudly himself and just... himself lol. idk he's just my cousin, and he's someone who has introduced me to so many cool things in life.]

>> so, out of courtesy, my BF tells my cousin about his homophobic family, and my cousin is still down with it cos he can deal. and again, out of courtesy, my BF tells his dad and his fucking step-mom about it too.

and they fucking ambush my boyfriend about it over (their) dinner. (i am not there) intially, they were excited to meet my family, as we've been dating for nearly 8 years and they haven't even met my parents yet. but once my BF explained that the plus-one WASN'T a girlfriend, and was instead a boyfriend of my cousin's,,, his step-mom lost her cool. she is loudly homophobic, and dismissive saying that she doesn't want to serve gay people in her house. she can """tolerate""" it outside, but she would never want to see them dirty her home.

my boyfriend is a sensitive, but seething soul and he was so appalled that he couldn't even speak. he was just shocked that her intolerance still finds new levels. his younger step-brother defended him, but in a 'gays are not even a big deal moom' kind of way. and the his step-sister/cousin was like, 'not a big deal chill.' and it just made him feel worse, because they're trying their best to calm the situation, but they're still stupid as fuck about it. i'm not sure what he was able to say befor ehe left....

but he just texted me crying saying that he feels so bad that he couldn't stand up for my family, our family. i told him it's alright– i understand the sudden pressure to answer, and that they are just the most selfish brand of people in the world. they're so stupid that i'm not sure they could even hear him. it's horrible, horrible horrible to witness this, even when you aren't being "discriminated" against. it is disturbing to see the ugliest side of people, YOUR FAMILY.

augh.

it makes me think that i've been protecting MY parents, MY sibling, MY extended family from theirs, by not introducing them sooner. they have never let me feel at ease enough to bring people that i love into their fucking stratosphere. god. they have said so many off-handed things for 7-8 years and i just can't stand it. why would i let my mom, or my fucking dad hear this? be around this? NO.

i'm literally simmering, because i told my BF that if my family ever came over while his family said some dumb shit, that i would become a villain in their home. i won't hold back, because those are MY cousins. god damn. i'm literally seething– because, at the same time, they would NEVER do stupid shit in front of me.

they are scared of me. of my opinions. of my voice. of my relationship with their son.

i had them on my facebook once, but once they supported That Fucking Guy, i visibly unfollowed, unfriended and spoke up against them. i draw lines, they know that about me. they know not to cross me or else i will snap back faster than their own son.

unfortunately for my boyfriend, he lives with that side of his family because of finances and other stuff. his older sister's have ex-communicated his dad because he cheated on HIS mom with HER brother's WIFE. that's why my boyfriends cousin is his step-sister too.

i can't stand this.

i know i protect myself with happy spaces, but that is so fucking unsavory. i'm not sure if i want to put up with them for the sake of my boyfriend. he's not even sure if he wants to put up with them. i don't want to judge but wow.

unbelievable.

i'm gonna go for a walk

[sarcasti-cally]

birthday surprise

so, koganegawa’s birthday is today, July 9th, and um.. where’s the love for my boy kogane? i felt like this was the perfect time to give him some love 🥰 ❤️ ❤️ (and to quench my thirst) this is the first time i’m ever writing a fic or even smut in general so please be nice :,) just gonna casually tag @bokutokoutarou since you wanted to be there when i post my first ever fic so here i go. 🚶‍♀️

dom!koganegawa x reader????? woahh

s m u t

words: 3063

Drool was slowly pooling from your mouth as you just woke up, the sun beaming straight into your eyes, causing your eyelashes to flutter and flip your body to face away from the sunlight. Before you could close your eyes again, you reached out for your phone on your pillow and went to check the time, which is a routine you developed without noticing. 

1:53, you noted. But, you immediately stood up and wiped the drool from the corners of your mouth to realize that it was July 9th. Shit. You cursed at yourself in your head while frantically throwing on whatever you saw. 

Black shorts and a baggy t-shirt representing your school, Date Tech. You went to the bathroom to see what you overall really looked like taking into consideration that your hair must have been a bird’s nest from moving a lot in your sleep. 

“Huh.”

You didn’t think the shirt you chose to wear would cover your shorts, but you shrugged it off. Hopefully some idiot doesn’t think that you’re not wearing anything under it. Thankfully, your hair wasn’t all that much of a mess- i mean, it was still a bit frizzy and in a loose ponytail, but who really cares? Definitely not you.

You threw on some white crew socks with some black shoes you saw under your bed. While you struggled a bit to put your shoes on, you heard something coming from your bed. It was your phone vibrating. 

“I swear to god, if it’s some annoying son of a bitch-“ you stood up and tripped since you were trying to put on your other shoe standing up while your foot’s in the air. As you peered over your phone, you saw that it was a notification from Koganegawa and you sighed in relief. 

When you had your shoe on you grabbed your phone and went to go and read what he messaged you.

“Hey, Y/N! I know that you might still be asleep, but i wanted to let you know that i’m having a birthday party which starts at around 4, and that you’re invited! I can’t wait to see you there. Even though it’ll be a small little party, i think you’ll REALLY enjoy it. Aone, Kaname, Futakuchi, and Sakunami will be there. I hope to see you there soon!” sent at 11:27 AM

As you read 11:27 AM your expression was covered in horror, but.. It could’ve been worse. For example, maybe it was sent at 9am and here you are just sitting on your ass, waking up at basically 2PM. You smiled a bit thinking of the scenario in your head, visualizing what you would act like if they actually happened. You quickly stopped yourself, though. something was a bit off in this text. You reread it at least 5 times to finally recognize what’s wrong with it. 

“uh kogane, you didn’t even give me the location” sent 2:07 PM

Sadly, you weren’t really the patient type and when 10 minutes had passed you started to get a bit antsy. Your leg was basically vibrating based off of how fast your foot was lighting tapping against the ground. 

Fuck it.

—————————

You were now furiously knocking on the door- at this point you don’t know if it was either knocking or punching it with the side of your fist. Like the idiot you were, you didn’t even try to use the door knob. When you were tired out from yelling and knocking on the door, that was the time when you decided to use it. 

And, it worked.

“Kogane! I’m coming in..” you slowly dragged out the n’s in the word “in” as if you were screaming “ready or not, here I come!” in a classic game of hide and seek. 

When you walked in, you could see streamers and balloons around the house, the little “Happy Birthday!” sign greeting you. Food was spread out in the kitchen, the dining room table was all set up with a birthday table cover and everything. You could clearly see the effort he put in based off of the mess he made in the living room. You could see the plastic bags the decorations must have came in when he bought them scattered around the living room. His house looked like a little kids birthday party, but in a good way. He really did go all out. The poor guy did this all by himself. You frowned at the thought, and then suddenly had a sly smirk on your face. 

You quickly took your shoes off and began to quietly walk around the house, wanting to surprise him and give him a big old innocent birthday hug. Now that the thought crossed your mind, you totally forgot to get him a birthday present while on the way here, but you didn’t know the party would be at his house- that could be your excuse. You nodded to yourself, agreeing with the thought. 

His home was oddly quiet, but you continued to walk around the house. Eventually, you came upon a door that was slightly opened and you peeked your head inside without hesitation. 

Koganegawa was slowly stroking his long, veiny cock with his right hand, his hips thrusting up into his fist every now and then. Some strands of his hair were stuck to the sides of his head due to the sweat that was forming on his body. The little groans he let out was causing your thighs to clench together, trying your hardest to not picture what he would look like between your legs. This dirty thought of yours caused you to let out a small moan, quickly slapping your hand against your mouth, hoping he didn’t hear. You slowly sat yourself on the ground, trying to even out your breaths since it was such a close call, but you were cut off when the door right beside you swung open. You screamed in surprise and fell on your back. You could clearly see Kogane’s unattended, throbbing cock against his boxers. Goddamn was it bigger up close.

“Uh.. Happy birthday?” you awkwardly announced, trying to break the cold, uncomfortable silence, waving both of your hands in a celebratory, jazz hands motion.

He grabbed your wrist, helping you off the ground and led you to his bed. He stood in front of you, hands on his hips staring at you, obviously expecting an answer. 

Instead of giving him an answer right away, you took this as a chance to admire the sight in front of you. His toned body was enough to make you drool, his abs glossed in sweat and goddamn.. his fucking thighs. They were pretty nice, not gonna lie, you smirked to yourself. Honestly, you wouldn’t mind if he just stood there all day. He should be put in a museum. Your eyes slowly went to his-

“Y/N! I’m still here! What were you doing outside of my door??” he yelled, hands out in front of him, expressing his question more through his movement. 

“Listen, I- You.. You didn’t answer my goddamn text!” you replied, your eyes darting to the other side of the room, trying your best to not make eye contact with him. “So i.. came to your house, and when you didn’t answer the door i just.. Walked right on in.” you were putting your best efforts to lighten the mood but it wasn’t exactly working as you hoped it would.

“Then you decided to watch me jack off my dick behind my door, too, right?”

“What else would i have been doing? fucking idiot..” your voice trailed off at the last part, not wanting him to hear. 

“Would you like to repeat what you said, Y/N?” he teasingly asked, cocking one of his eyebrows up. 

“Uh no, fuck off, yeah?” you attacked right back. You leaned forward, your elbow resting against your knee as your head rested in the palm of your hand. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, waiting to see his reaction. 

He hummed in response, looking down at you with his arms crossed. “Y/N, are you even wearing anything under that?” You almost choked as you held in your laugh. I guess he was the idiot. 

“Yeah, I am. Do you think i’m stupid or something? I would never leave the house with no pants on. Bold of you to assume that.” his eyebrow was still in the same position as if he didn’t believe you. You stood up from the bed.

“Kogane, look” he tilted his head at you and you lifted your shirt up. He immediately looked away and you had to repeat yourself. “No, look at me, idiot! I’m wearing shorts, see?” he slowly turned his head towards you and he looked puzzled. This man is as stupid as an elementary schooler, you don’t know how he’s still alive by now. 

“So i’m guessing you have a birthday present for me?” he joked, but your mind clicked. It wasn’t your birthday hug idea, but something else. 

“Actually, yes, I do. Can you sit on the bed for me real quick?” he quickly sat on the bed, oblivious to what he’s getting himself into. 

You slowly got onto the bed and sat around him, your arms wrapping around his waist, your hands inching their way to his boxers.

“What are you-“ 

“You already know what i’m doing, it’s your birthday so just let it happen, okay?” he nodded with a gulp, and you continued your ministrations. 

Your left hand slowly lowered the boxers off of his legs, causing his dick to spring up against his stomach. He groaned at the feeling, which made you eager to continue even further. You didn’t expect for his dick to be so long. It was average girth but holy shit was it lengthy. Your right hand began to stroke his cock, slowly at first, immediately teasing the tip with your thumb, wiping the precum off and onto his shaft. Feeling him shiver against your body made your cheeks flush and had your right hand slightly shaking in excitement. He noticed this and took action by wrapping his large, rough hands against yours, guiding your hand up and down at a quicker pace than you had before. His moans were becoming more apparent and louder, signaling that he’s close to his release. Kogane’s hands never left yours as his grip tightened, going even faster. Feeling how eager he is to cum and just by watching him help you jack him off is making you even wetter than you were before. 

“God, Kogane you’re so goddamn cute..Feeling your hand against mine while you guide me to fuck your cock with my hand is so fucking hot..” you felt his cock twitch at your words and you smirked through your bright red cheeks, lowering your head against his dick and filling your mouth with his long cock. Kogane threw his head back in pleasure while pushing your head down against him, his cum filling your mouth, making you choke. You remain still, though, allowing him to wait out his release. 

He lifted your head up off of him and when he looked at you with his cum dripping down the sides of your mouth, he immediately became hard again. 

“Didn’t know you were that eag-“ you were cut off when Kogane grabbed you by the hips and threw you right under him. The way he towered over you made you want to cower under a blanket and hide, but at the same time it just turned you on even more. It was almost like a prey being hunted by predator scenario.

“Kogane what are you-“ the smirk on his face was like one you’ve never seen before.

“Oh, how the tables have turned.” the sly little dumb smirk he still had plastered on his face made you want to flick him upside the head, but realistically you couldn’t since you were vulnerable as all hell under him.

He didn’t hesitate whatsoever to pull your shirt off of you. Already, your shorts were gone and the same with your bra. You were lost- it was like a switch was flipped with him. You didn’t know he had a side like this to him. 

Kogane went up to your neck and purposefully breathed against your neck causing you to jump. He soon started to leave small, gentle bites on the same spot, letting him leave a long lick against it, hurriedly wanting to whisper against your ear something god knows what where he got it from. 

“I’m going to fuck you senseless until you learn who’s the boss around here, okay sweetheart?” chills were sent down your spine, your heart thumping in your chest, positive that he could hear it. Your cheeks were the brightest shade of red to the point it looks like a child got into their mom’s makeup. But, you didn't know if he watched some really hardcore porn or what, but did not know at al that he had that in him.

His two, long fingers were suddenly teasing your entrance, causing you to let out a small moan, but you acted quickly as you covered your mouth with your hand, not willing to give in to him. Not pleased with your actions, his fingers delved inside if you, pushing in and out of you at a rather quick pace, making sure to curl his fingers in all of the right spots. 

“Can you not hide your moans from me? Pretty Please?” he gave you those puppy dog eyes that you always hated. You shook your head. He shrugged in response and positioned himself against you, your eyes widening in shock. Before you could stop him, question him, or anything, he was already buried inside of you, letting out a loud grunt. 

“I’m going to fuck you really hard, Y/N. I know you like that. You like it when guys fuck you until you can’t walk, right?” he emphasized the last word by slamming his cock deep inside of you, straight towards your g-spot. You basically screamed by the intense feeling, and he only just started. 

“Finally opening up to me, pretty girl?” he pushed your legs up by your head and began to drill his cock into you nonstop. His tight grip on your hips was bound to leave a mark afterwards. The sound of his hips slapping against yours could’ve been enough to make you cum alone.

He pulled out of you and you glared at him.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry.. Come here.” he motioned his hands for you to come towards him. He led you towards the wall.

“Jump” you obliged and he pinned you against the wall, making sure to not waste time by quickly inserting his pulsing cock inside of you. 

“Fuck!” he looked at you, giving you a quick peck on the lips before he started to move inside of you. His thrusts began extremely slow, obviously teasing you. 

“You know what I want.” Kogane’s thrusts became even slower before they came to a stop.

“No, I don’t, i can’t read min-“ your snark remark was cut off as you were given a hard, rough slap on the ass. You looked at him, and he nodded as a signal to go on. You sighed.

“Fuck me.” You sarcastically said in a dull tone, making him annoyed on purpose.

“Come on.. you know you want to. Quit lying about it, Y/N!” he began to rub your clit with one of his fingers as he waited.

“I want you to fuck me till your hearts content. I want you to fuck my pussy until i beg you to stop so i want you to quit messing around and get on with it already!” a small whine was released at the end of your words, but Koganegawa seemed satisfied.

“Whatever you want..” He grinned, He pushed himself further against you, making sure you were well propped up against the wall, and began to thrust at a rapid pace, causing you to grab onto his shoulders to give you more support. 

“God fucking dammit you’re so tight..” your walls were clenching around him like a vice. His cock filled you up so well, but the fact that his dick was brushing against your cervix was throwing you off the edge. It was impossible to think that someone could fill you up so good, and so perfectly. 

“Fuck, fuck! Please don’t stop, Kanji! Right there, right there!” his cheeks flushed at hearing his first name slip past your lips. The pace that he is holding at the moment, you could basically say he was using you like a sex doll. He was like an animal in heat, he showed no signs of stopping whatsoever, and it didn’t help that you used his first name.

“Say it again, please.” he whines against your ear, his hot breaths driving you to the edge even more 

“Kanji!” you moaned, practically chanting his name. He loved the way you said his name. The way his cock thrusted in and out of you at such a quick pace while your cum was coated around it, was the second hottest thing next to Kogane. The way he moaned, the skin slapping against skin was too much.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” you screamed, but to your surprise Kogane kept on thrusting in and out of you, chasing his own release. You knew he wasn’t going to stop until he came.

“Kanji, please cum, I’m begging you Kanji! You fill me up so good, I love the way you fill me up is so perfect just like you baby-“ and that was it, that’s all that took.

“FUCK! Y/N I love you I love you!” he came inside of you, slowly moving his hips inside of you to ride out the overwhelming feel of pleasure. Your tongue was lolling out of your mouth at the overstimulation, and Kogane let out a small chuckle before carefully carrying you to his bed. 

“Where the hell did you learn all of that from, Kanji?” you said through heavy breaths.

Futakuchi leaned on the door.

“From me.” he pointed at himself with a proud smile before walking off.

[teeztheflag]

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S c h m e r z (Pain)

⋆ pairing: demon!ateez x reader (poly!ateez)

⋆ genre: demon au, suggestive, crack

⋆ warnings: strong language, use of medicine, suggestive topics, pet names, cheating, alcohol, partying, suggestive topics, angst, lots of arguments, mentions of killing, manipulation

⋆ words: 10,100  

a/n: @unatempesta-dipensieri​ this is for you honey 

⋆  „What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

─────────────────────

„Good morning!“ Woo Young enters the dining area with a huge grin on his face and Seong Hwa chuckles at the little strands of hair that are standing up from his head.

Soon the others join the clan on the table and start to dig into the delicious breakfast. „Wait, is (y/n) not up yet?“ Seong Hwa eyes the round and his gaze stops at Yun Ho and Min Gi who are trying everything to avoid their hyung‘s look.

Hong Joong quirks an eyebrow and sips on his tea. „Guys, did you do something to her?“ That’s what makes Yeo Sang‘s eyes turn into a crimson color eyeing the two demons, too.

„Woah, I mean, calm down... She’s upstairs still sleeping. Yun Ho and me wanted to wake her up but she was still so sleepy.“

The others only nod silently at his answer. Usually you’re always the first when it comes to eating but there could be many reasons why you are not joining them.

San munches on his toast while listing them off in his head one by one.

First, you could be really sleepy because you and the others watched movies until three am this morning and now it’s 8.46 am.

Second, you were embarrassed because you fell asleep on the couch although you swore you wouldn’t sleep at theirs for the beginning.

Which also leads to the third reason, you realized that you woke up in Yun Ho‘s bed sandwiched between him and Min Gi and now are even more embarrassed.

And Fourth, you just pretend to sleep and wait for him and Woo Young to come upstairs and give you the best fuc -

„San? Are you even listening?“

„Yeeeees, sorry.“

„Ah, really? Then repeat what I said.“ Hong Joong watches him while the brown haired boy smirks mischievously. The leader sighs and puts down his napkin.

„I said for the next time we have to watch out for (y/n) but without her noticing. We all know she would freak out if she knew but it’s for her best. I guess she’s still not understanding that many demons are after a marked female...“

„What? Are you talking about me?“ All their heads turn around to see you standing in the doorway wearing a shirt from Yun Ho which comes off as definitely oversized and they all think you look too cute like this.

„Are you awake now, cupcake?“

You frown at Woo Young.

„What did I say about the nicknames? I am still tired but I guess my appetite awakened me.“

After eating breakfast with the demons you got a shower and quickly went back home but not without going through a lot of protests from the boys. Honestly, you were very embarrassed about falling asleep at their house although you made it clear you wanted to take things slow but - you were just so tired. Even now sitting at your desk in your dorm room you couldn’t concentrate at all.

In a few hours you had go to your part time job and you felt like falling asleep in any second. You groaned out and let you head fall onto the surface of the table closing your eyes. Great. Now a headache was coming around, too.

This night you fell into your bed very exhausted. You didn’t make any progress in studying this afternoon and also your boss had been very shitty to you at your shift today. All you wanted was to sleep...

Much to your dismay you only felt worse this morning but got up nevertheless to go to your courses. A pain killer could maybe help a little bit and so you swallowed the pill and grabbed your bag. You already were late so you passed the campus with quick steps and nearly collapsed into the chair for your first lecture.

It only worsened throughout the day. You were on your way back to the dorm and felt really hot. Your limbs hurt and the headache came back. Black dots formed in front of your vision and you quickly found a bench to rest.

Suddenly you saw Jong Ho emerging you with a stern expression on his face. „(y/n)?“

He placed his hand on your forehead and frowned.

„What are you doing here?“ You felt the urge to close your eyes out of exhaustion. You were convinced that something was not right with you by now but you never felt like this before.

Your eyes flattered open and you noticed the change of your surroundings. You were placed neatly into Hong Joong‘s bed. The curtains were closed creating a comfortable brightness in the room. The air conditioning system was turned on and you felt a wet cloth on your forehead.

You felt a lot better and noticing no one was around you turned your head a little bit to the cushion you layed on and smelled the wonderful scent of the demon.

How can someone smell this good?

You giggled at your own awkwardness and quickly arranged yourself when the door carefully opened.

Inside Yeo Sang, Hong Joong and Seong Hwa came. You made eye-contact with everyone of them and stopped at the youngest of the three.

Shit, hopefully he doesn’t read my thoughts about Hong Joong‘s wonderful scent. Heck, (y/n)! Stop thinking... He doesn’t look away! Start singing... Bulleo bulleo mhhmhmhm

You continued humming to the song in your head totally unaware of how the three sat down on the bed and Yeo Sang looking out of the window with a knowing smirk on his face.

„Can you not stop that?“

„I am sorry (y/n). I didn’t chose this ability.“

„What even is going on here?“ Hong Joong and Seong Hwa look between you and Yeo Sang but when no one answers them Seong Hwa clears his throat to gain everyone‘s attention.

„At least you are not ranting about being again in one of our beds - “

„Now that you’re mentioning it how - ah, wait... Jong Ho brought me here, right?“

„Yes. You had a high fever and blacked out so we thought it would be the best to bring you to our place and give you some medicine. How are you feeling now?“

„Better... I just don’t know how I became ill it’s definitely not the season for it.“

„(y/n) maybe you had contact to someone - “

When Yeo Sang tried to touch your forearm you suddenly felt a harsh pain at your wrist just like the last time that crazy guy appeared.

„Ahhh ... fuck! h- hurts..“

„(y/n)!“ Hong Joong and the other two demons try to look from where the pain comes and the leader‘s eyes change into a crimson when he realizes it’s your mark.

Soon the others are in the room trying to figure out what’s wrong because they feel the distress of their clan brothers.

Your forehead is sweaty and Yeo Sang also has to take a step back from the bed clutching at his head out of pain.

„What the hell is happening here?!“ Woo Young shouts and Yun Ho comes to lay a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Luckily the pain soon vanishes leaving you blacked out again and the fever higher than before.

Downstairs the boys except of Yeo Sang who still sits by your side settled together and debate on what was happening with you.

„I first thought it could be a normal flu or something but now that her wrist burnt where our mark is I think it’s has to do with us and the bond.“ Seong Hwa says.

„Mh, also me and Yeo Sang felt it, too.“

„Here, I got the book.“ Yun Ho enters the living room area with quick steps and places it on the table.

„Okay, I think I found something...“ This caught the interest of the other demons who where scattered around the place by now and building a circle around the book and Seong Hwa very fast.

„Seems like her body and soul starts fighting our mark...“

„What the fuck?! How and why?!“

„Jong Ho, calm down.“ San embraces his brother form behind to calm him down while Hong Joong might start to realize what is really happening here.

„Listen! It also says that it can be due to the human itself or if another demon tries to claim him or her.“

„I think the first option is bullshit because we talked about this so who’s the motherfucker trying to take away my kitten from me?!“

„San, first - it’s not only your kitten and secondly - the nickname‘s stupid. Let’s agree on babygirl.“

Seong Hwa proudly smirks at his idea and San coughs at that.

„*cough* pervert *cough*“

„Guys, can we please focus on (y/n) and not such unnecessarily things?“

„Jong Ho is right. It’s cupcake anyways.“ Woo Young high-fives with Min Gi and grins.

Hong Joong only facepalms and groans.

„Stop. We have to figure out who’s behind this until then we continue watching her and talk about every little change we notice. Alright, guys?“ Everyone nods at him and looks up when Yeo Sang comes down the stairs shock evident on his face.

„How is she?“

„Sleeping. It’s angel you idiots!“

The next days your condition got better and the demons were relieved to see you quite energized and healthy again. You were thankful they took such good care of you but it was time to get back to your lectures and work everything up.

yunhoe: wanna grab a coffee after your last lecture? (´｡• ω •｡`)

you: yeh I pay

yunhoe: why? let your bestfriend treat you

you: you want sth in return

yunhoe: would never ( `ε´ )

you: you’re turning into a woo young version 2.0 these last weeks

yunhoe: :‘( the betrayal

You smile at your display and link your arms with your female bestfriend Hyo Lyn when she emerges you with a big grin while walking to the other campus.

„Oh, who’s the poor guy.“

„You’re mean (y/l/n) (y/n). He’s a very lucky boy and his name is Seok Woo.“

You stop in your tracks and eye her suspiciously. „If I hear a page being turned in the next seconds I am outta here.“

„Gosh, stop watching those dramas.“

„That only proves you watched it, too!“

„Of course. Now I can have my own Ha Ru.“ You laughed out loud gaining a few questionable looks from other students at how Hyo Lyn emphasizes the name.

Inside the lecture hall you sit down next to each other still gossiping a little bit and cringe when she tells you that last weekend at a fraternity party Choi San and Jung Woo Young were seen having a threesome with one of the prettiest girls of the campus.

Such dickheads. While you’re ill they go out having their fun and then still lie about having feelings for you!

„You’re alright?“

„Of course I am why wouldn’t I!“ Hyo Lyn shrieks back at your outburst which again draws the interest of many people in the hall to you.

„Haha, I mean, they’re both really hot and you’re at theirs so often! Do you think Yun Ho would have something against it? Or are you still playing hide and seek with Kang and Kim?“

You could’ve banged your head onto the table but stopped yourself before.

„Can we just forget I ever told you about this?“

„Ehm, no. Look, gaining the interest of the Kim Hong Joong and Kang Yeo Sang is a dream coming to life! Maybe you could ask them for a threesome?“

„Fuck, Hyo Lyn! Stop this nonsense.“ Your cheeks were painted so red you had to cool them down with your palms leaving your bestfriend a laughing mess next to you.

After the lecture ended you checked the bus line and saw that there was a technical issue which let to a high delay for the next one. To be punctual for Yun Ho you had to run across the campus and catch the next one which would take a lot more time than usually.

While running you accidentally have your eyes only a second on your phone checking the time and of course bang into someone who luckily caught you pretty effortlessly.

„Shit, I apologize a lot! I am in a hurry and - “

„Well, hello my love.“ You really couldn’t believe your eyes. In front of you the perverted demon stands eyeing you with an amused look.

„You!“

He laughs still holding you in his arms.

„Me!“

„Stop!“ You try to wiggle out of his grip and much to your suspicion he lets you out of his arms carefully.

You look around if someone’s watching you and when sure there are not much students left you turn again to him and whisper-yell. „What are you doing here?! Don‘t say you want to kidnap me again...“ You fold your arms in front of you but slightly panick when he leans down too much in your comfort zone.

„I am studying here now and my lecture just ended.“ You scoff and push him back by his chest.

„What bullshit! Aren’t you too old to study?“

„Wait, how old do you think I am?“

„As a pervert you’re probably fourty or something...“

„H - how dare you! I am 26 years old!“ You give him a bored stare and mention for him to hold it.

„However. I am going and keep out of my way or - “

„Ah, this is will be hard. Because we have the same subject.“ A shiteating grin takes its place onto Joo Hyuk‘s face and you just couldn’t believe this guy.

You try to push your way around him when he stops you by your wrist again and takes you into an embrace from behind. His hold on your wrist leaves a undefinable pain and you hiss out when he finally leaves it. Trying to break free he only holds you closer and you can feel him leaning into your neck. You shudder when you feel him taking in your scent.

„Are you afraid my love? You don’t have to be... I would never hurt you.“ Much to your dismay your body betrays you and you feel your legs giving out at his words which pleases him.

You would lie when you told yourself that this wasn’t exciting but you didn’t understand your feeling at all.

Suddenly he lets you go and chuckles lightly. „Guess we will see eachother more from now on, (y/n)“ And with that you turn around but he’s nowhere to be seen anymore...

Stupid demons.

„Shit, the bus!“

Yun Ho texted you he would drive to the campus with his car because it was getting way too late and today it was his task to watch over you. At least he would bring you home safely and maybe drink a tea at your dorm.

The dorm was only a fifteen minute walk from your position but heh.

You smile when you see him pulling in at the parking spot. How he hops out of the expensive vehicle makes your heart jump but you try to cover it quickly knowing he would sense it.

As he nears your form a frown comes across his face and the next thing you know is him holding your shoulders in a very tight grip. You shudder at seeing your bestfriend like this the first time in your life and gulp when his orbs transform into a deep red color.

Yun Ho drags you to the car and drives to the demon‘s mansion faster than you liked. He pushes you inside the livingroom where Yeo Sang and Min Gi were currently playing Fortnite and some of the others around cheering.

„Hey, what’s our beautiful cupc - “

„Hold him back!“ No one noticed Seong Hwa coming from the kitchen with a gaze full of hate and disgust at your form. Before he could lunge at you Hong Joong and Jong Ho use all of their strength to hold him back. They drag him outside into the garden but the next demon also seems to lose his mind by letting out a deep growl like sound and Woo Young covers San‘s eyes and pushes him out of the room, too.

„What’s with them?“ You find yourself in Yeo Sang‘s arm in a second who seems to try to protect you from the other demons. Tears prick at your eyes and Yeo Sang tries to shush you by caressing your back in comforting circles.

You sit down on the couch after Hong Joong calls Min Gi to get out, too. Leaving only you, Yun Ho and Yeo Sang.

Yun Ho didn’t stop walking in circles since you arrived and you just wonder what was going on. You don’t even recognize Yeo Sang rubbing himself on you by smashing your cheeks together and kissing your hair repeatedly...

After a while you still sniffle when the others come back in and you take a look at the two demons that had the outburst. Whereas San seems only pissed Seong Hwa avoids your look at all costs which hurts you a little bit.

„Is this disgusting scent finally off of her?“ Seong Hwa speaks up while looking out of the window.

Now this was what it was all about... but it wasn’t you fault, right?

Without realizing you roll with your eyes earning another growl but this time from Yun Ho. „Do you think this is a joke?“

You scoff at him. „Of course not but you’re not telling me shit!“

„(y/n), we’re just concerned... Yun Ho brought you here because...“

„It’s okay, angel. You can tell them.“ Of course Yeo Sang already knew what happened because the moment started to flash into your mind occasionally since you’ve arrived here.

You told them about your encounter with Joo Hyuk leaving some of them clearly pissed. After a long pause you and Yeo Sang are again alone in the living room and the others come back after discussing and deciding for you to get out of the demon‘s way as good as possible for now.

Of course you agreed with them but if he was really attending the same courses like you things would get problematic. The tense atmosphere also doesn’t sit right with you. Everyone was giving off the vibe that you have been running into him on purpose.

When in reality they just don’t know about Joo Hyuk‘s intentions and that’s what worries Hong Joong the most. He definitely is the reason for your illness but the question is if he would be so dumb to try again to steal you away. His clan is definitely stronger and larger in number so why you? Why again anger the Ateez Clan?

One thing was sure - they had to keep a good eye on that bastard and need you to work with them although you don’t know about him being the reason for your illness and potential threat to claim you as his.

You on the other side were deeply confused and annoyed. Gladly Jong Ho drove you back to your dorm after your discussion but he also didn’t talk to you at all during the ride seemingly deep in thoughts.

Their reactions confused you... first you’ve never seen Yun Ho like this before. Of course this wasn’t the first time he got angry but definitely the first one his anger felt directed to you, too.

You knew San was an emotional person but you couldn’t shake off the feeling he didn’t had himself under control at all yesterday.

And Seong Hwa... the usually calm and soft demon is who hurt you the most. His gaze told you how disgusted he was by you... you felt like it wasn’t only about your scent but you in general at this moment. Like you’ve done something that betrayed him and his brothers.

The night wasn’t pleasant as sleep seemed to come to you hardly and the next evening at your shift you also couldn’t stop thinking about the events. You felt restless because images of the moment with Joo Hyuk coming back to you again and again. You mentally groaned everytime that happened because instead of fear and anger you felt slight excitement. You knew it was wrong to think and feel like that but you couldn’t stop yourself...

„(y/l/n)! The three gentlemen in the left corner are waiting!“

„Oh, sorry, boss!“

You arrive at the table and get on your knees with a bow arranging the menus.

„(y/n), what a pleasure to meet you again.“ You quickly look up and your mouth opens like you want to say something but nothing comes out.

So much for keeping out of his way... Was he following you now?

„You know eachother?“ One of the guys sitting next to the demon eyes you with a flirting gaze to which you give him a ‚fuck off‘ - gaze.

„Yes, this is the special girl I‘ve told you about.“

Eh?

„Special girl?“ It definitely comes out louder than you wanted it to and you check if your boss noticed but are relieved when it doesn’t seem like it.

„Of course. Your indeed very precious (y/l/n) (y/n).“

What shocks you even more is to not find the usual annoying smirk on his face when he says this. Special? Precious? What is he talking about?

You wanted to say something but being unsure of what you just handed them the menus, bowed again and quickly went back to the bar.

„She smells fascinating...“

„Yah, Ji Soo! Don’t even think about it.“

„Why? You’re also hanging out with that human chick. What was her name again?“

„That’s not what I mean. He already has his eyes on her so you don’t have the right to touch her.“

„Stop talking she’s coming back.“

Your brows furrow at their whispering but you brush it off nevertheless. First you cannot stop thinking about him and then he appears again.

What if he really just wanted to study at your university? The last time he could’ve easily kidnapped you again but he didn’t.

Maybe he was just a little bit attracted to you? You cannot shake off the feeling that the others might have overreacted...

Also, what if you had his scent on you? He just hugged you and you didn’t even stand a chance to get out of the grip of a demon. Moreover it wasn’t in your interest at all whereas Woo Young and San couldn’t keep their dicks inside their trousers - which still left a light stinging sensation in your heart.

Of course you knew how they were and that they liked to play around. The question is, why wouldn’t you just be one of the many other girls, too?

You still cannot believe that out of eight demons everyone would have the same amount of feelings for you. To be honest, the only person you thought of really liking you was Kang Yeo Sang. Thinking about Hong Joong - no one really knew what he did or thought in a day.

Maybe you slowly realize that you might fall for them too easily? Since they kidnapped you that day no one really tried to make the next step. Even Yeo Sang and Hong Joong wouldn’t go further than touching you in appropriate places. Well, at least the younger one did. And it all was still friendship like.

These thoughts are giving you a headache. Well, you were the one telling them you only wanted to be friends first then why are you so emotionally confused?

Do you crave for more? Or is it just attention?

Before the three men left the place Joo Hyuk gave you a huge tip which you didn’t stand a chance to reject. Luckily nothing more happened with him to which you were more than thankful. You couldn’t stand so much trouble in short terms.

Arriving at your dorm exhausted you jump on your bed after receiving a text from Hyo Lyn that she was coming over and getting ready for a party. Why would you say no? There were no messages from the guys and you definitely wouldn’t waste this night and free sunday tomorrow.

Yes, this was definitely the best you could do to forget all this mess for now. Only you, your bestfriend and a bottle of wine.

Oh, and loud music, sweating bodies and students making out in every corner. For this night you decided to wear something fancy but sexy, too. The mistake you made? You already drank quite the amount of appetizers with Hyo Lyn while dressing up and you could already feel the coral lipstick smeared from the amount of times you lick them.

You were wasted. Definitely; but in a good way. Hyo Lyn only giggled and dragged you to the dancefoor - the living room of the mansion - and started swaying your hips to the music. By now it was actually unimportant how you looked like you just had fun with the girl next to you and giggled a lot at her stupid dance moves imitating them from time to time.

When you made you way back to the kitchen looking for another drink you couldn’t shake off the feeling being watched. You shuddered at the thought and looked around a few times but couldn’t make out anything suspicious.

Only when you heard the yelling you immediately felt your insides curling. „Quick! Woo Young is winning!“

If Woo Young was here then San would be, too. Meaning there was a high chance some of the others or all of them attended this party, too. Where we’re back to the point - they’re not texting you and acting like wanting to protect you but here we are?

Suddenly Hyo Lyn brings you out of your thoughts by finding you in the kitchen and dragging you outside with a grip on your wrist.

„Come one, we have to watch this!“

Out of a good perspective standing outside a huge group of people in front you can see Woo Young drinking up all the beer and San next to him cheering him on like the others.

You roll with your eyes a smirk building up but it quickly vanishs when you see the cute dark haired beauty pulling him into a kiss and Woo Young first shocked but putting his arms around her waist in return when he wins.

First you really didn’t want to believe Hyo Lyn - but it was obvious that this scene probably replayed every weekend and party they attended.

What about the others? What about the Song Min Gi? What about the prestigious bachelor Kim Hong Jong? What about... what did all of them do?

You went back into the house ignoring the urge to turn into a crying mess feeling like it would be useless. You sat down in front of the mansion outside at the sidewalk alone with your thoughts again. Did you really didn’t know them at all?

No, you knew them. You knew about their hobbies... what they liked to eat and what their dreams were. It was just the fact that you didn’t feel like trusting them and not in the friend like relationship.

The image of them as boyfriends, potential lovers or what you would call it. You’re far away from that and you weren’t a person that tried to seek for the problem in others. It was about you. Maybe your first rejection lead to them losing interest in you. The whole marked thing slowly felt like they just still tried to fulfill something because they gave it to you and maybe they wanted to wait before asking you to take it back...

You definitely were a person to overthink things.

„What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

You slowly look up to see who has the nerve to interrupt you at your conspiracy moment.

„Oh, I am sorry... Didn’t want to sound awkward I guess you just looked really cute like t - this...“ You couldn’t stop gaping at the handsome boy. He had black hair with beautiful dark eyes that seemed to shine in the light of the moon and he was just plainly beautiful - exactly pretty like Hong Joong but different.

Hong Joong...

Tears started to prick again at your eyes making the boy worry if he is the cause for your sadness.

„Shit, I am sorry! I didn’t want to upset you!“ He leans down and starts to wipe away your tears with his soft thumbs and you feel oddly comforted by it - probably mainly caused by your drunken state.

„It - it’s not you...“

„Mh.“ He nods in an understanding matter and shoots you one of the most beautiful smiles you’ve ever seen. He sits down next to you still having his arm around your shoulders letting you calm down.

After a while you decide to check your phone to see if someone texted you but you can only see Hyo Lyn informing you about having met Seok Woo and his two very attractive friends and that they were playing beer pong.

„Do you want to get back inside?“

You shrug really unsure and definitely not in the mood to accidentally run into one of the boys. Okay, maybe just get over you high ego and text them!

You searched for San in your contacts and texted him that you also attended the party and if he wanted to hang out in the garden or something.

choi san: I am busyyyy

Wow, what a great answer. You groaned out gaining back the attention of the stranger next to you. „To be honest, I just want to go home and eat as much fast food as I can.“

You flinch a little bit when he suddenly starts laughing at you heartly. „To be honest, I didn’t want to come here in the first place.“ He takes a look back and his nose wrinkles is the most adorable way you could imagine.

„Then why did you come?“

„Three friends of mine wanted me to and I am the driver but now one of them found their girl he’s hanging out with at the moment an the other one‘s still searching for the girl he wanted to meet here.“ You laughed at this because it was cliche.

„What’s with the third one?“

„He just likes to party.“ You both laugh again mostly because you are still tipsy and him finding your laugh contagious.

„Do you want to head out of here? I know we don’t know eachother but I am hungry, too, so we could stop by a diner and after that I am bringing you home?“

„Mh, don’t know. I really don’t know you and my friend is still here... but I could tell Hyo Lyn quickly so she can send the cops after me if you try something funny.“ He grins at you mischievously but without any bad intention.

„Wait, did you say Hyo Lyn?“

„Ey, we looked for you!“ Suddenly you see four figures approaching you causing you and the boy next to you standing up.

Really? That there wasn’t already a massacre at this party fascinates you when you see Joo Hyuk emerging your forms with confident steps his eyes flickering between you and the boy. What shocks you even more is seeing your bestfriend holding hands with a guy next to her that seems to be on of Joo Hyuk‘s fiends and also the trio are the exact same men from your shift.

Leaving you confused who was the boy next to you but seeing his eyes turn into crescents while smiling at his fiends you suddenly feel at ease.

Only Mr. Pervert ruins the mood by winking at you.

„Come one that’s really funny!“ Hyo Lyn giggles at the situation and you cannot hide your smile, too.

„What are you doing here outside? (y/n) I’ve looked for you everywhere!“ Joo Hyuk happily explains and you stiffen a little bit by his statement. Their friend next to you seems to notice and lightly lays his hand on your shoulder to provide you with a feeling of safety.

Poor boy... don’t know he’s messing with a demon and wouldn’t stand a chance against the pervert.

„(y/n) and me wanted to drive to the diner and eat something. Do you want to come along?“

You could swear something flickered in the boys‘ eyes‘ at this moment but you couldn’t lay a finger on what. „No, no. It’s okay. (y/n) seems to be tired and we still want to start this pool party. Am I not right?“ Joo Hyuk laughs at the others and they also happily agree.

Your gaze goes back to him and he smiles and nods at them. „Have fun guys and call me if I should pick you up.“

He guides you to his car which was an expensive Audi R8 and immediately the thoughts comes to your mind if he drives too fast.

Like sensing your doubts the boy comes around the car again and opens the door for you. „You don’t have to worry... I will drive slowly I know you still have alcohol in your system.“

Is he cute or isn’t he?

The night turns around very good in the end. He holds his words and you don’t have to vomit or something. After eating something delicious at the diner with him you feel a lot better now and didn’t even felt the urge to look at your display since the party. Talking comes easily with him and he’s also a very charming guy with a good amount of humor.

After he stops in front of your dorms he gets out again and opens the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take it and when you take it confidently you feel a slight shock.

„Ouch!“ He looks shocked but also apologizes quickly.

„Oh, haha. I am sorry... Maybe that was a sign?“ He smirks with crescent eyes again and you could cry out at how cute he is.

„Who knows?“ You look him deeply in the eyes and you can feel his smile vanish slowly. You gulp and quickly realize what you’re doing.

Stop flirting (y/n)! Cheater!

You mentally roll with your eyes - which you do... quit a lot?

I am the cheater? What’s with them? They give a shit about me at the moment! I can play this game, too!

Without noticing it you slowly nod with your head gaze turned to the ground and a devilish grin on your face.

„Ehm, I just asked if I could have your number...“

Oh, yeah. He was still there.

„Of course!“

(y/n) no!

You gave him your number and let yourself fall onto your bed a huge grin not leaving your face. You don’t have to feel bad, right? You texted San if he wanted to hang out but you could only imagine what he did in that moment. Woo Young was obviously also busy and you didn’t know who of the others attended the party.

You could’ve texted into the group chat you idiot.

Yes, you could’ve but you didn’t want to.

Suddenly you felt the guilt coming back... now that the boy left your mind it seems like you have to think about them. You take a look at your wrist and recall the electrical shock with the boy.

You don’t know his name... That’s what you only realize now. Well, if he decided to text you could ask him.

Eying you wrist again you try to see something that could resemble a mark; the one they gave you. Tonight you don’t really understand why they did it in the first place. You feel anger bubbling inside of you but decide it is worthless to worry about things you cannot change right now.

To get a decent sleep you think back to the crescent eyes and shining orbs that lulled you in. You find sleep better this night and all thanks to the stranger...

You wake up with a blurry sight. Your limbs are burning and a headache forms. You also feel very hot - shit, again?

Maybe you didn’t rest well enough the last time... you roommate asks you if she can help you with something before she head out for the day and you decline thankfully.

It would be the best to make some tea and sleep the day off maybe tomorrow it would be better and you could go back to university. Throughout the day you occasionally checked your messages and pouted when you received nothing. You don’t know if you hoped for him to text you or the others. Let’s say it didn’t shock you anymore that you received no text from the demons.

You also didn’t want to tell them about being sick again you hate the feeling of being a burden to someone... so you spent the day sleeping, groaning, drinking tea and watching shows.

Great sunday...

Luckily you had a good sleep this night but in the morning you didn’t feel any better... To this point you couldn’t shake off the feeling that the centrum of the stress might could be your wrist; exactly where your mark was located.

Maybe it is because of not being near to the demons lately? This doesn’t really makes sense either. There already have been more moments where you didn’t have much time for them and didn’t got sick... 

You clearly are not able to go to your courses today and ask Hyo Lyn to excuse you if someone in your shared courses asks.

Of course the girl wants to come over but you decline not wanting to spread your bacteria. You also ask your roommate to not worry but comply when she tells you she wants buy some medicine for you.

Ah, you were feeling really exhausted and bad again...

You wish someone of the boys would come over and take you into their arms and take care of you but you quickly shake the thought off.

Your wrist hurts again at the thought of them. What the actual hell?

Inside the mansion only Hong Joong and Seong Hwa pace around doing the housework. Well, Seong Hwa tells Hong Joong what to do because the leader is a mess when it comes to cleaning.

Hong Joong feels not good today and he didn’t do yesterday, too. It’s only a light tugging but he cannot say what it could be.

„Everything‘s alright?“

„Yes, just a bad feeling I guess. I wonder how (y/n) is doing. Did she eat? Is she happy? Is some professor getting on her nerves?“

Seong Hwa chuckles. Yes, their chosen mate definitely was someone who got triggered easily by hunger and soppy teachers.

„San told me she attended the party on saturday.“

„Why didn’t he tell us sooner?“

Seong Hwa shrugs while ordering Min Gi‘s laundry. „He just texted me she was there and he took a quick look at her and everything was fine. Hyo Lyn was by her side.“

„Mh, sometimes I feel like she’s taking a lot of her time.“

„Are you jelous, Kim?“ Seong Hwa‘s orbs shine in amusement and Hong Joong frowns at him in return.

„Nooo‘ I just would like to spend more time with her but I guess we should really take it slow...“

„Yes, that’s what we agreed on. Although I would like to apologize for the last time...“

Hong Joong emerged Seong Hwa‘s taller form and leans his head against his arms. „She knows we love her, don’t worry.“

Do you?

The end of the day comes and you decide to not be a pussy and text Yun Ho what he was doing only to be left on read. That didn’t hurt at all, asshole. Was he still salty because of the Joo Hyuk scene?

At least Yeo Sang should understand but he was one of those guys who disappeared for quite a time without telling you and you have the feeling now was the time for it again.

Or should you write something in the group chat? The sun was about to set down while you layed weakly in your bed scrolling through your phone. You found a quite funny video and decided it would be a good way to start a conversation and postet it into the chat.

Woo Young texted back a laugh smiley and the others also wrote something funny but Yun Ho, Yeo Sang and Hong Joong didn’t respond at all...

You couldn’t deny that you missed them even if it wasn’t meant in a romantic way. You missed your friends.

Much to your dismay you had to spend your time in bed the whole week... Luckily you were slowly feeling better and quickly worked out the stuff you missed in the courses. You decided not to write again in the chat and it was funny it became easier to not reply to them either or later because you just forgot.

There was a reason for it because your attention was set on something else or better someone else... He texted you.

First he apologized for not messaging you sooner and today he admit to you that he was a little bit shy and unsure about how to start a conversation with you. Cute...

You texted without a break and you laughed out loud when you asked him for his name and he told you could call anything you like so you decided for ‚charming‘.

You couldn’t come up with anything cooler.

You didn’t tell him about you being ill not wanting to ruin the mood and at the end of the week you asked him if he wanted to hang out.

And you did. It was good and felt at ease with him. He cooked for at his apartment and after that watched a movie together.

„Oh god, who thought it would be a good idea to use such bad synchronisation?“ He laughed out loud and chimed in.

Your head slowly became heavier und you didn’t even recognize that you started to lean on him.

„You have such a nice apartment... I wish I could afford something like this.“

„It’s nothing. I just recently rent it.“ He smiles down on you.

„Wow. What do you even do for a living.“ I doesn’t go unnoticed that he becomes a little bit stiff at your question but you ignore it.

„Let‘s just say I have to do with management.“ You nod at him.

„How old are you?“

„I am 23 years old.“

„Oh, I hope I am done with my education at this age, too.“

„Of course. You’re a smart one, (y/n). I will help you anytime you just have to ask.“ He tilts his head a little bit and places a small kiss on your temple.

You hiss out and shriek back when you wrist starts to burn.

„Woah, is everything alright?“

„Yes, yes...“

His orbs turn a lot darker as he watches the tip of your fingers graze over your wrist. He licks his lips at the sight but immediately arranges himself when you look back at him.

Suddenly your phone rings up and you take it to look who calls you. „Hong Joong?“

„Who’s it?“

„Just a - a friend. Excuse me for a second.“ He nods at you and you go to the kitchen.

„Hello?“

„(y/n)? Where are you?“

„I am out.. Why though?“

„You’re not at your dorm and your roommate wasn’t there, too. I wanted to pick you up for a late movie night...“

„Oh, I am sorry. It’s so late already?“

„Where are you so I can pick you up? We’re missing you, (y/n)... also me and Yeo Sang felt something a few seconds ago.“

„Yeo Sang is back?“

„Yes, but, are you alright? I said we felt something like a sting.“

„Oh, no. Everything’s alright I don’t think I am in for it, tonight. Sorry...“

„Mh, okay. You would tell me when there’s something, right?“

You pause at his question. Lately you weren’t honest at all and now you feel like shit because they suddenly decide to connect you again. You sigh. Right now you’re with the charming boy and it would be rude to just leave.

„Of course I would.“ Lie

„Ok, then take care. I hope I am not annoying you.“

„You’re not! No, you’re not. I am happy you called me...“ You really were.

„Bye, (y/n).“

„Are you ok?“

„Ah, yes. My friend just worried for me.“

„Must be a good friend then.“ He lightly smiled at you and reached out his hand for you to take.

Just like Hong Joong never called you all thoughts to them vanish again when you take his hand and let him guide you back into the living room.

You make yourself comfortable in his embrace and you continue the movie. You are very aware on how his breath tickles the hair on your neck and you feel yourself heat up at the close approximation.

You try to hide your nervousness by ignoring him and playing like you don’t recognize his slow movements with his palm on your thigh.

„(y/n).“

You gulp and feel like your heart stops. His index finger lands under your chin and in the softest way he tilts your head so you’re facing him.

„Can I - I really want to kiss you... but I need your consent...“

You weakly nod at him already too engulfed in the moment. He flashes you a dazzling smile and you could swear you saw something flashing in his dark orbs at your answer.

Before you can think about it anymore his lips are pressed on your own trembling ones in a delicate way. You shudder at how aroused you feel and the sensation his touches leave on your form are overwhelming.

The hold on your thigh becomes tighter and with the other one his fingers start to caress your neck. He uses your moaning to explore your mouth with his tongue and it feels like you entered heaven.

When he starts to kiss down your chin and neck you quite overhear something he mumbles with a breathless voice.

„Mine...“

Too engulfed in the pleasure you’re receiving you don’t notice him taking your wrist carefully and kissing along your arm until he lands on the place where your mark is supposed to be.

You open your eyes when feel a tingling sensation there and suddenly hear voices in your head becoming louder and louder the more he sucks on there.

„What is happening?!“

„We have to find her!“

„Yeo Sang! Shit, help him up!“

„Stop!“

You lean back and he looks at you confused and concerned but it’s quickly replaced with a shy smile.

„What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?“ You frantically look around searching for something you don’t even know. Those voices...

„I - I have to go... I am sorry.“

„I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but it’s okay, we achieved a lot for today.“

What is he talking about?

Only now you see your display blinking up repeatedly and the missed calls and texts from the demons.

You sense him watching you out of your eyesight and quickly put your cellphone back.

„I will bring you back home.“

You nod when he stands up leaving you clutching at your wrist with a bad feeling.

The car ride is silent and you decide to use his concentration on the road to text into the group chat that you’re heading back to the dorms.

When you open the door all the boys are already scattered around leaving your roommate sitting uncomfortable on her bed and a sign of relief crosses her features when you enter the room.

Immediately Min Gi grabs your hand and drags you out again followed by the others.

„What are you - ?!“

Min Gi puts you with him in the back seat petting you everywhere and kissing your hair with a frown on his face. Jong Ho starts the engine and drives home so fast you don’t even want to know the limit you’re reaching.

„(y/n)...“ He whimpers out and you turn your head to see his face that is illuminated by the lamps of the road.

A tear is rolling down his features and you swear you’ve never seen Min Gi crying before and he also didn’t touch you like this ever.

He hides his face in your neck and starts to cry. „Please don’t leave us...“

You felt awful. Never ever have you felt so ashamed and disgusted by yourself. You let another man touch you and especially the holy place of your mark and now you would have to face the consequences.

Your heart hurt at the sight of him clutching at you like his life depended on it. He held you in his big embrace like you would vanish any second.

„I would never leave you.“ Now a single tear also rolled down your cheek.

All of you sat silently. Until Yun Ho decided to speak up...

„What did you to with Joo Hyuk?“

Everyone tensed up at his name but you only frowned at his question.

„What do you mean?“

„You know what I mean. If you wouldn’t be my bestfriend I would consider thinking of you as a bitch, (y/l/n) (y/n)!“

Totally confused you stood up and let out your anger by landing a full smack on his cheek.

„I am not a bitch, Jeong Yun Ho! I won’t lie that I didn’t do anything but at least I am not fucking around every weekend like you guys!“

Now it was your time to let out everything that boiled up in you.

„You’re not giving me attention! You’re not answering my texts! You don’t care at all! You’re saying you have feelings for me but you’re not!“

„Don’t say this, dear - “ Jong Ho eyes you with a soft look and tries to reach out for you but you hold your hand up to stop him.

„No! You’ve been hurting me and guess what? I can play the game, too!“

Behind you Woo Young and San tense up.

„You know they mean nothing for us...“

„It doesn’t matter, Jung Woo Young. It hurts me so much... How can I ever trust you when all you do is - do is - nothing?“

Again everyone remains silent and also Yun Ho takes a step back to sit down next to Seong Hwa who rubs his eyes tiredly.

„We can get through this. I know we can... I feel like those are all misunderstandings...“

Yeo Sang always was a person that liked the harmony and it showed again.

You weren’t so sure of his words and bit your lips so harshly that you draw blood letting the tears out again.

„Please, (y/n), we love you. We love you so much. Please don’t give up on us...“

„San is right... we all have to better ourselves. We have to talk and be honest with eachother. Respect us more. Love isn’t easy but I can proudly say that I would do anything for you and us to work.“

You look into Seong Hwa‘s eyes and feel your bond coming to life at his words.

„Like we already said... a demon love is so rare and beautiful like you are (y/n); but - we would never force you to something you don’t want. We will always love you and we want you to be happy... even if it’s without us.“ Hong Joong says eyeing all his brothers who flinch at his words but not say something against it either.

„Angel, I beg you, please... don’t be afraid to show your feelings.“ Yeo Sang seems like to stare into your soul and you know that he knows what you want to do right now.

So you do it. You fall into his arms and sob into his chest. You let it all out and you can fell someone embracing your from behind, too.

You heart feels at ease and you couldn’t say that for a long time. Especially at Yeo Sang‘s and Hong Joong‘s touches you feel the bond coming to life igniting a wonderful sensation inside your systems.

This night you decide to sleep at theirs but of course not without all of you making a sleepover in one room. Fortunately you are the girl and were able to sleep on Yeo Sang‘s bed between him and the leader.

Totally forgetting about Charming and the events of the previous night.

Well, all of you were to exhausted to talk this out so it had to be done in the morning.

Oh, and the questioning turned out more interesting than everyone would’ve thought.

You decide to text him. It was a shitty move especially after last night but it had to be done. Much to your disbelief he only sent you back a smiley leaving you utterly confused.

After the breakfast you gathered around in the garden to finally tell you the truth and discuss on how to deal with Joo Hyuk.

San and Woo Young have been especially clingy to you also feeling very bad about having you hurt so much. Honestly, San craved a lot of your attention and body but he didn’t want to scare you so he decided to distract himself. He really didn’t know it would bother you so much and now he was devastated realizing the shit he done...

„I cannot breath, Woo Young...“

„Oh sorry.“ He smirks at your playfully and you peck him on his lips catching him off guard.

They were all so beautiful but not only in features but character, too... Why did you only realize it now?

Yeah, dumb bitch.

After telling you everything about Joo Hyuk that he wants to claim you and that being the reason for the pain at your mark and also you sickness you gulped.

„Now we have to find a way to deliver the message that he should leave you alone.“

„Or we just kill him.“

You sink further into San‘s side and he gives Jong Ho a silent glare knowing exactly how you would react to something like that.

„Guys, ehm, yesterday...“

Oh, it’s really time you’re telling them about it.

„Yesterday I wasn’t with Joo Hyuk. To be honest, I didn’t see him since a week or more...“

„What? (y/n), you had a scent on yourself from a demon yesterday. Whoever you spent time with was a demon!“

Panick takes its place over everyone’s features at your words and Hong Joong‘s eyes turn into an angry red color.

„I knew she smelled different! Now I know what that smell is...“

„Who is it? Hyung? (y/n)?“

„I - I don’t know his name...“

„You went home with a stranger, made out and don’t even know his name?!“ Seong Hwa‘s definitely in his mother role right now and you look to the ground ashamed.

„I don’t know... He felt so safe and my mind told me not to question it - “

„Typical for a demon like him. He manipulated you quite well.“ Hong Joong spits out with fire and starts to walk in circles.

„I guess you have his number?“

You nod at Yeo Sang.

„Text him to meet at the sightseeing platform at the mountain in the west.“

„What are you planning?“

„Seems like he was able to ignite a strong spark in her but not when she’s with us.“

„What are you talking about?“

Woo Young smiles in mischief at his brothers while petting your head. „Eight mates are stronger than one.“

„Don’t worry, cupcake. You will understand soon.“

You waited for Charming at the point and couldn’t believe yourself when you stupidly smiled at him. From the distance he already waved at you and if it wasn’t for the demons behind the trees you feel like you would’ve fall for him easily again.

„You look cute today. I am happy you texted me so quickly... to be honest I was a little bit afraid after yesterday that it was too early for you.“

You wonder how someone can lie so effortlessly and shudder when he wraps his fingers around your wrist where your mark is located.

He leans down when you’re not answering and gulp nervously when he tries to kiss you...

„The nerve...“

San comes out next to you joined by the others and you can see Charming starting to smile with his crescent eyes.

„I shouldn’t have let you go yesterday, little bird.“ He nearly whispered it out and you tremble when he places a soft skin on our forehead.

„Touch her again and we will kill you, Cha.“

He turns around and San and Woo Young are quick to take you into their arms and lead you further away from the scene. The demon follows your form and you are suddenly scared by his intimidating eyes.

„Ah, Hong Joong... I feel like I’ve lost myself in the whole thing a little bit too much.“

„You just didn’t succeed, Eun Woo.“

„Yes, this time you won. Your little human is not as dumb as I thought.“

Ouch that hurt although you just figured out what an ass he is. Woo Young‘s arms tighten around your form and the others tense up. Jong Ho cracks his knuckles to warn the demon to insult you any more.

„Why did you do that?“

„Clearly not for claiming her. I wanted to take the one love like you did with me...“

„Mi Na murdered humans and it was our task to bring her down. We would’ve not killed her if there would’ve been another way.“ Seong Hwa speaks up.

„She had problems! Okay?! You didn’t understand her! No one did!“

Tears are floating down when reality crushes in... Eun Woo wanted to kill you... and if it wasn’t for the boys you would not be alive right now. Joo Hyuk only was a marionette in this game and you only realized it now...

„We don’t want to hurt you, Eun Woo... Take your claim off her and leave us alone.“

„I said we don’t want to hurt you but we will.“

You sensed the distress of your mates and watched how everyone got into a fighting position leaving Woo Young and San next to you ready to get out of the scene if needed.

Eun Woo looks around him and starts to understand that he’s overpowered. He lets out a disgusting cry full of pain and anger.

„I will take it back...“

Hong Joong gives the demons next to you a sign and they near the other demon with slowl steps. He reaches out his hand and San takes your wrist carefully and guides it into his direction.

Eun Woo looks at you with tears in his eyes and sadly although you hate him right now you can feel his pain. He positions his lips over your wrist and breathes in leaving you lightheaded and suddenly blacking out... you feel free and suddenly the clouds in your mind and the headache you didn’t even noticed anymore are gone.

You open your eyes rubbing them with your palms feeling like you just awakened from a deep slumber.

„Good morning, sunshine.“

„Yun Ho...“

„Yes, the one and only.“ He shoots you a radiant smile and suddenly the door bursts open the other demons literally running inside.

„Cupcake! You’re awake!“

„How long did I sleep?“

„29 hours.“

„What happened?“

„Everyhing is okay right now. He’s gone... back to the demon world to be exact and he took his minions with him.“ Yun Ho tells you while caressing your hand.

You sit up and look into your lap. „Thank you, for everything and I am very sorry.“

„Stop, (y/n). We’re together now and you’re safe. That’s all what matters.“

You smile at them tears of joy running down your cheeks.

„Are you ok to go downstairs and eat something? Woo Young tried to cook - “

Said boy rolls with his eyes. „I didn’t try! I trained a lot!“ You giggle at his words and Yun Ho motions for you to sit up and take his hand so he can help you.

Halfway out of the room you stop...

„Guys...“ Everyone turns around watching you with curiosity.

„I think I might start falling in love with you.“ You quickly close your eyes out of embarrassment and San comes to take your palms that shield your face away with his own hands.

„It isn’t that hard, right?“

You become red like a potato and stomp with your food. „But it is!“ Everyone laughs at your cuteness but it would definitely be a hard way to express your feeling like this more...

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author: Well, what a nice ending to this part!

wooyoung: Where’s my smut.

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↺ back to navi

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[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzeltopia

This episode, much like many other plot important episodes of the first two seasons, is decent on it its own, but becomes retroactively worse due to season three’s bad writing and behind the scenes bullshit. 

Summary:  Matthews reveals himself as another dark spirit and disciple of Zhan Tiri, and traps Eugene, Lance and the others in unbreakable vines similar to the Great Tree's evil magic. He has Rapunzel live the perfect life while he prepares to hand over the mystical powers of the Sundrop to his master. Fortunately, Rapunzel is able to make contact with her brown-haired dream self and attempts to convince her to let go. 

Timeline Alert

So what does almost a year ago mean? The Great Tree was six months out, and then in Mirror, Mirror, Lance said that they been fighting for three weeks since. So how long have then been stuck in this shell house? Because You’re Kidding Me was just the next day after Mirror, Mirror. Was Lance’s ‘three weeks’ comment meant to be after Brothers Hooks and Rapunzel: Day One and not Great Tree? Are we 7, 8, 9, or 10 months out from Secret of the Sundrop? Like be clear about your time frame guys if you’re going to use it as a plot point. 

I’m going to say we are 9 months along on this trip, just cause that sounds closer to ‘almost a year ago’ without keeping them all trapped in the shell house for months. So Great Tree is 6 months, Brother’s Hook and Rapunzel Day One is 7 months, Mirror, Mirror is going on 8 months, and at the end of this episode they’ll be heading into the 9 month period...I guess. Lets just say they were trapped there for a week or two. 

This Episode Only Highlights How Self Centered and Immature Rapunzel Still Is Rather Than Showcase How Much She’s Grown 

The point behind this episode is show how much Rapunzel has grown since season one, and how she is accepting of responsibility now, but it actually backfires because she’s not actually being challenged on her selfish desires but on her lack of agency. Which is the wrong lesson that she needs to be learning at this point in her development.

Rapunzel in her subconscious mind doesn’t wish for what’s best for other people but what’s best for herself. People she must interact with on the regular have to be superficially happy even if it completely warps their character. While people she doesn't care about, like Lady Caine, can just be simply banished and ignored regardless if they deserve such an end or not.  She doesn’t see people as people with individual thoughts and feelings, but as satellites to herself and her narrow worldview.  

 Also, ‘I believe everyone deserves a second chance’ my eye! Caine never gets even a first chance in Rapunzel’s own fantasy world. Because Rapunzel is a selfish hypocrite who’s ‘redemptions’ always comes with strings attached. 

Here Comes the Dumbest Plot Point In the Show

I’ll talk about this more when we get to season three, but this scene is the beginning of the end for any dignity the show once held. 

Also why would ‘I don’t trust anyone’ Cassandra follow a creepy voice calling her name through a doorway inside a magic house that’s tried to kill her twice now? 

If you gotta make you character act out of character in order to get your plot rolling than you haven’t a good plot. Think of something else. 

What’s the Point of Having Two Names? 

They did this both with Sugarbee and Matthews here and it makes zero sense. Why would they need to bother with fake names if the heroes wouldn’t even recognize their real names to begin with? Such revelations add nothing and fails to tell the audience anything new about the characters.  It’s also not consistent as it turns out Gothel was a disciple too and she only gets one name, so what gives? 

So How Does This All Work Again?

So Zhan Tiri needs ‘a clash of the sundrop and moonstone’ in order to be freed from her prison. Why? I don’t know, but holding Rapunzel prisoner for life actually undermines that plan, and it’s a plan that Zhan Tiri is currently setting up with Cassandra off screen during all of this. 

So does Tromus/Matthews just not know that Zhan Tiri is already ‘free’ and has her own plans?

Is Rapunzel’s power being drained what gives Zhan Tiri a foothold in the real world?

Or was Zhan Tiri released back in the Great Tree with the removal of the spear and that’s why she knows to go after Cass? 

What was up with the Great Tree and the sealed tree back in Painter’s Block? Did they have any impact on Zhan Tiri’s plans?  

Were any of the disciples actually useful at all? 

So What Do the Disciples Gain From All This?

Sugarbee, Matthews, and Gothel were all once real people who actually lived so what are their reasons for following Zhan Tiri? What do they gain from going through such complicated plans? Why continue to follow someone after you’ve been dead for centuries and are a ghost now, and were presumably trapped and or killed by Demantius for following her? Real people don’t just hold on to such fanatical devotion without reason. 

This Conflict Over Choices Does Not Work Without Varian

Going back to how this episode fails to develop Rapunzel; it wants to have Rapunzel take responsibility for difficult choices, but much like Painters Block, it completely ignores her biggest fuck up thereby undermining why she has trouble with owning up to hard choices.  

Rapunzel ruined a child’s life. She may not have meant to but she did, and thus far she has done nothing to make amends for it. She’s not even spared the poor boy a single thought beyond seeing him as the boogeyman in a nightmare once. 

You can’t have Rapunzel take responsibility for anything if you won’t hold her accountable for anything.  

Varian was meant to appear in this episode, and indeed he should have for the above reason. 

But of course Chris had to give us a bullshit excuse for why he cut the most plot important character from the series. 

I’ve already spoken about how Varian’s cameo in Happiness Is did nothing to actually further develop Rapunzel nor explore her guilt back in that review. In this episode, however, I want to discuss how hollow the comparisons to Gothel is and why there shouldn’t logically have been any competition between the two. 

Varian and Gothel provide two completely different conflicts and two completely different points of development for Rapunzel’s arc. Gothel is the instigator of her conflict with Rapunzel. Rapunzel, as the victim, has only one thing to learn, self esteem. She learned it back in the movie, she relearned it back in the season one, and here she’s re-contextualizing it for this episode’s mini-arc. 

Meanwhile Rapunzel is the instigator of her conflict with Varian. She’s the one with the power in their relationship and her choices matter. She doesn’t need to learn agency because she already has it. What she needs to learn is responsibility and she can’t do that without confronting Varian and what she did in some manner. So unlike with Gothel there only new ground to cover here rather than rehashing old conflicts. 

Chris Sonnenburg has things all backwards. Rapunzel’s agency/self-esteem issues and her need to take responsibility for her actions are not interchangeable conflicts. Addressing one does not automatically address the other, and of the two her conflict with responsibility holds more weight because it’s ongoing. We haven’t seen the resolvement there. It also affects more people than just herself so the stakes are higher there as well. And to top it all off, it fits with the themes of the episode better. 

Also, you very much could have had both characters because they both reflect different conflicts and serve different purposes in the narrative. Time management in television is a very big deal yes, but you have little grounds for defense when all you’ve shown is how poorly you’ve managed your time until now. 

In short, Chris is full of shit. 

No, It Wouldn’t

We’ve already established that there’s no need for Rapunzel to go on her quest in season two. The black rocks are inactive, there’s no ticking clock she has to beat, and her staying at home would have actually prevented the conflicts in season three. 

Unless dream Rapunzel is referring to Zhan Tiri being released, but even that is false because Zhan Tiri is already floating around a little blue ghost girl off screen right now. What Rapunzel choses or chooses not to do does not change that. 

Lack of external conflict undermines internal conflict.  

Just Cause You Make A Meta Joke About Your Heroes Being Dumb For No Reason, Does Not Make Them Any Less Stupid 

Jokingly admitting a fault in your writing doesn’t not excuse that fault. If you can’t have a plot without handing the idiot ball to your characters than you haven’t a good plot. Time to go back to drawing board. 

Season Three Will Go Back On This Episode’s Message and Prove the Villian Right

I’ve liget seen fans unironically praise the show for it’s message of ‘be content with what you have’. Not only is that a terrible lesson to teach children; it’s actually the exact opposite of what the show is trying to achieve.

“Be satisfied” is suppose to be the wrong motto. Rapunzel is suppose to be fighting against this message. In the episode itself it’s the villian who is saying such things in order to tempt her to stay put. 

So how could anyone look at the show as a whole and come away with idea that the one off villain was right along? 

Because season three does a complete 180 away from its original messages regarding agency and responsibility. All consequences disappear from the story and the mains are given convenient scapegoats to distract from their decisions. Characters actively regress and are rewarded by the narrative for either not doing anything or for victim blaming others for their actions. 

But most damaging of all is the fact that nearly everyone winds up back where they started out at, or aren’t given a proper ending at all. Tangled’s story is just one giant circle and that in of itself contradicts the idea of progress.  

Cassandra’s Hurt Hand Is Only Relevant When The Story Wants Rapunzel to Feel Guilty About Something  

Oh but we can just throw Cassandra’s burnt hand in here as a substitute Rapunzel’s guilt over Varian. Even though the two incidents should actually complement one another rather than compete for dominance. 

Tangled doesn’t trust its audience to remember things. It acts like if it’s off screen or not being focused upon than it’s not happening or isn’t relevant. This undermines any ongoing or overarching conflicts.  

Why should we care about Cassandra’s arm if she’s been shown as being fine with it for four episodes by now? Especially since it’ll never come up again after this point? And on the flip side of things, why should the audience not care about the 15 year old who has been sitting in a dungeon for almost a year now due to Rapunzel’s neglect?  

We’re not magpies who are quickly distracted by shiny new things. We are capable of retaining information and informing decisions based off of that. Especially if Chris was shooting for the teen audience as he claims he was. 

Oh But We Got Time For Godzilla-Pascal 

Can’t spare even half a minute for a Varian cameo that would be relevant, but we sure got time to waste on a pointless action sequence that does nothing to further the character in what is meant to be a character development episode. 

This Scene Is Out of Character 

That’s not how abuse works! 

The whole reason why Gothel was able to keep Rapunzel under her thumb for 18 years because Rapunzel always sought her approval. Never at any point, even when finally choosing to break away from her in the movie, did Rapunzel wish to harm the woman. That goes against who she is as a character and it’s not how abuse victims respond to abusers even after cutting things off with them. 

If anything, Rapunzel’s treatment of Frederic in Happiness Is is more in line with how a victim goes about mourning the loss of an abusive relationship. Victims grieve for what might have been. Victims mourn the loss of what good times they had with their abusers, because yes, abusers aren’t abusive 100% of the time 24/7. They can’t be or they risk losing their victim quicker.  

I initially was ok with flashbacks to Gothel on occasion because no victim ever makes a completely clean break from their abuser. Even ‘moving on’ isn’t some triumphant singular action when you stand tall while you knock your opponent down in a wish fulfilment fantasy.

No. ‘Moving on’ is slow. It’s understated. It’s routine. It’s about being able to do the dishes without getting triggered. It’s sitting at lunch with friends and being happy and calm without the fear of returning home hanging over your head. It’s not skipping out on work because your anxiety is through the roof over just meeting with your boss. It’s not devolving into a yelling match over something minor because you internalize your abusers behavior.  

Abuse victims don’t celebrate violence as strength. We celebrate being an unmovable mountain of clam fortitude. Being in control even as the world rages at us, because we’re self assured. 

The fact that this scene exists, while Happiness Is shows Rapunzel behaving the opposite way to the father who abused her the same as Gothel did, only proves that a man shouldn’t have been in charge of this show. Certainly not without a woman by his side giving equal input. 

Stop Using Destiny as a Shorthand for Everything!

Destiny isn’t a catch all word that can mean whatever you want it to. Words have definitions for a reason. Destiny isn’t a goal nor does it equate to agency and responsibility; kind of the opposite in fact. 

Well That Was Redundant

All we did was rehash Rapunzel’s season one arc in under half in hour. Nothing new was learned. It’s like writers don’t know how to resolve any conflict that isn’t a repeat of the first movie. Meanwhile actual unique conflicts are just sitting off to the side being ignored. All because the show’s creator doesn’t want to hold his precious self insert accountable for anything. 

Bye Bye Smart Cass, Hello Dumb Cass

So from this point onward the Cass we’ve known for nearly two seasons is gone. She’s just been replaced by the dumbest bitch on the planet. Because the writers don’t understand how manipulation and trauma actually works. Nor do they comprehend the importance of giving characters actual goals.  

Conclusion 

Season three is what retroactively spoils this episode. Cass’s dumb decision here, Zhan Tiri’s lack of a coherent plan, the uselessness of the disciples, and even the lack of Varian could have been glossed over had they writers given us a satisfying pay offs for any of the main conflicts. But they didn’t and so here we are. 

Also a small update, but after this review and starting next week, the Salt Marathon will go from bi weekly updates to only one a week. This is a combination of real life work getting in the way and the growing length of the reviews. This means we’ll hopefully be done come March, which would mark the show’s anniversary. I got some plans to celebrate if that works out. 

[slytherinbangchan]

Badboy! Seungmin Part 2 (Gang!Au)

Gang!Au!Masterlist -> Since it’s an AU every member’s story is linked to the other members. Seungmin’s part 1

Pairing: Gang Au! Member Seungmin x Fem reader

Warnings: Smut, exhibicionism(?) swearing, bullying talk

~

-'You heard about that guy from the other school getting beat up by Han?' You hear some guys talking as you watch the game.

-'What are you talking about? I heard he just threatened him and let him go'. Another one says.

-'Whatever. If Han didn't beat him that day he will some other day if that guy keeps bugging him'.

-It's funny how everyone knows Jisung even when he never went to yours or the neighbor school.

-Guess it's only natural for Bangchan's right hand to be known among so many people.

-You turn your head a bit to look at Seungmin who fell asleep as he waited for his turn to play.

-His baseball cap down hiding his face. His arms are crossed and his own bat is resting next to him.

-You wonder if he's hearing any of what those idiots are saying.

-They keep gossiping about the gang for a good while.

-You can't believe they haven't noticed yet Seungmin is sitting right behind them.

-You're all on the same class. It's only logical Seungmin would be there.

-Is not like he ever misses a class.

-Even if it's P.E.

-'Oof, you know who I can't stand? Lee Minho'. One of the guys say and the other one chuckles.

-'Who the fuck likes that guy? He's a bully. And why is he still here? He should have graduated long ago'.

-'Yeah'. He laughs. 'Ah, but actually.. I think Seungmin is weirder. Like seriously sometimes I get goosebumps when he shushes us in class'.

-You turn your head again to look at Seungmin. He's smirking now. You can only see his mouth cause the cap.

-You chuckle silently then your P.E teacher calls Seungmin out.

-'Kim Seungmin, you're up'. He says looking behind those guys and they stop talking.

-Seungmin stands up as he grabs the bat and the guys fearfully turn around slowly.

-Their eyes meet Seungmin's for a second as he walks towards the field.

-'I-I'm sorry' One of them says. 'We didn't mean that..'

-But Seungmin just walks away so they turn around to look at you.

-'y/n, you have to help us please'. They say. 'Tell him it was a joke'.

-'You know he's not stupid, right?' You say. 'Besides, what is he gonna do?'

-That's a genuine question. You've never seen or heard anything about Seungmin bullying people.

-'C'mon y/n please'. One of them begs and the other agressively nods. 'You know exactly what he'll do'.

-You tilt your head confused then look up as you notice your boyfriend walking towards you.

-'Forget it, she won't help us'. The other one says and they turn around again, bowing their heads as they see Seungmin.

-'Leave'. He says and they run. 'You didn't look at me'. He complains.

-'Sorry I got distracted. I didn't expect you to be so fast'. You apologize and he scoffs.

-'What was so interesting about those two anyway?'

-You chuckle. 'Nothing, they were asking me to help them out'.

-'With what?' He asks as he takes off his cap, ruffles his hair and puts it on again.

-'I don't know.. You? They thought you'd do something bad to them'. You chuckle as if that was the most ridiculous idea you've ever heard but he doesn't say a word.

-He doesn't even smile.

-He just watches the rest of your classmates play with a serious face.

-'..Seungmin?' You call his name but he doesn't look at you either.

-Your heart stops for a moment.

-Were those guys right?

-But? No way...

-'Hey, let's get out of here'. He suddenly says.

-'Ah.. Okay. Where should we go?'

-'I actually have to go to Changbin's'. He says.  'Do you mind if we drop by?'

-'No, it's fine but are you sure you wanna skip classes?'

-'Next class is not important. You can stay if you want though'. He says.

-He's more serious lately.

-Mostly after that night where the rival gang appeared while you were all chillin in that field.

-Actually you were the ones spotting them.

-You and Seungmin had found a hidden spot to make out just when you saw the rival gang creeping at Jeongin and his girlfriend.

-Bangchan looked really pissed.

-He wasn't scary in your eyes when you first met him but he's now.

-To be honest you never know what to expect when dropping by Changbin's house.

-Today it seems like they're just chilling.

-There's just Chan, Jisung, Changbin and Felix playing Mahjong in the living room while they chat.

-They stop their chatting to say hi and then Changbin and Jisung keep talking while Seungmin aproaches Bangchan.

-He's whispering stuff while he passes an envelope to Seungmin so you look away.

-Seungmin told you the less you know about the business the better.

-Your eyes drift to Changbin.

-He's telling Jisung about some guy who apparently is after their girlfriend.

-Jisung is not amused at all.

-Like Changbin was kinda joking while telling him but Jisung looks like he's ready to kill someone right now.

-'Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier?' He asks and Changbin changes his expression.

-'Han, chill. I took care of it already'.

-'Fuck you. Tell me where to find that kid right now'. He says as he stands up.

-A hand on your shoulder takes you away from that conversation. 'Y/n, let's go'. Seungmin says and you wave the guys goodbye, but only Bangchan and Felix say bye back.

-You walk in silence til you're out of Changbin's house.

-'So much drama, huh?' Seungmin asks and you chuckle softly.

-'Yeah, what was that about?'

-'Jisung is a jealous guy'. He says.

-'Yeah... What about you?' You ask kinda joking and he frowns a bit. 'What? You wouldn't get like that right?'

-He scoffs. 'Let's just hope no one will be stupid enough to try and get themselves between you and I'.

-'Are you serious?' You ask and he looks at you.

-'Why wouldn't I be?'

-'But you wouldn't go all mad like Jisung, would you?'

-He tilts his head. 'Why are you asking me that? Is there someone bothering you?'

-'Oh god, no'. You chuckle nervously. 'I just can't picture you like that'.

-'Certaintly I'm way calmer than Jisung'.

-'But?' You ask and he sighs.

-'I'm no saint either y/n. You should know that by now'.

-'What are you talking about? You are not like the others'. You say and he chuckles. 'Why are you laughing? You said yourself you don't like bullies'.

-'And I don't. But I wouldn't take people disrespecting me or those who are close to me lightly'.

-You stop walking so he does too. You don't know what to say though.

-'What?' He asks as he waits for you to start walking again.

-You sigh. 'Nothing I guess. Honestly I think I'd be the same way about people I care about'. You start walking again in silence.

-He doesn't say much more either.

-Is not like you’ll think differently about him just cause of this.

-After all you had an idea of where you were getting into when you started dating him.

-Maybe you just thought he wasn't as 'bad' as the others.

-'Hey let's get some snacks and watch a movie'. He says as he pulls you closer with his arm over your shoulders.

-He pecks your cheek and you smile. 'What about school?'

-'Fuck school. Our class is pretty behind compared to us anyway'. He says then smirks.

-A bit later you’re in your room watching a really boring movie.

-'I thought you said 'fuck school''. You say as you chuckle and push Seungmin's book out of his hands with your foot.

-'Baby, stop that'. He nags at you.

-'No way. You said we were watching a movie'. You pout.

-'Yeah, you chose the wrong movie though. I'm bored'. He chuckles keeping his eyes on the book.

-'Are you seriously telling me you'd rather study than watch this movie?'

-'Yes'. He chuckles again.

-You watch him for a moment as he completely focus on his book. He looks so good.

-Messy hair and those glasses.

-You turn off the tv and crawl to sit astride him but he doesn't take his eyes off the book til you've unzipped his pants.

-'What are you doing?' He asks and you take the book from his hands and toss it away.

-’It's time for biology'. You say and he chuckles.

-'Cheesy'. He says but he's smirking.

-'Shut up'. You kiss him as you palm him and he follows the kiss.

-'Thought your parents were coming home soon'. He says as you bite on his neck.

-'I don't care'.

-You stand up for a moment to get rid of your panties then come back on his lap.

-'How are you this wet already?' He asks as one of his fingers slips inside of you. 'Damn baby is so damp in here, what were you thinking about?' He asks and you blush.

-'You'. You say then bite his lower lip as he smiles and introduces a second finger.

-You moan softly and his hard dick twitches at your voice so you whisper on his ear.

-He kisses you before pulling his fingers out to make room for his dick.

-And you kiss him again as he sinks into you.

-You rotate your hips a bit before going up and down on him.

-Slowly.

-His hands climb your hips and go down again to your ass as you ride him.

-He suddenly makes you stop for a moment as he hears the keys entering your house's door. 'Your parents are back'. He says and you whine.

-'They don't know we are here anyway'. You say as you try to move again.

-He scoffs as he chuckles. 'They won't let me see you again if they caught us like this'. He says and you roll your eyes.

-'Like that would stop you from seeing me'.

-He smirks. 'Right'. He pats your butt so you'd move again. 'Be quiet anyway'. He asks you and you roll your eyes again.

-You have to bite your lips really hard though to avoid any noise.

-You can hear your mom humming some song in the bathroom for a moment.

-But as your orgasm approaches it all disappears and it feels like it's only you and Seungmin there.

-He bites on your tits as you move faster.

-Tiny moans scape your mouth.

-Then Seungmin stops again and you notice the steps coming closer to your room's door.

-Your heart is beating so fast as you see your dad's feet shadow waiting in front of your door.

-Seungmin silently laughs. 'You're not so brave now huh?' He whispers as he leaves a bite on your shoulder.

-You hit him softly cause that bite almost made you whine out loud and he chuckles silenty then pats your butt again so you'd start moving, which you do, making him groan softly.

-'Hello?' You father asks as he knocks on your door and it feels like your heart stops beating. 'Hello?' Your mom replies from the bathroom. 'What's wrong honey?' She asks, distracting your father who leaves to talk to her instead.

-Seungmin laughs and your heart can beat again.

-He kisses you and you calm down a bit.

-Soon all of that is long forgotten as you can only feel the heat and hear Seungmin gasps and the clash of your bodies as you move.

-'I'm gonna cum'. He whispers then softly bites on your neck.

-'Mhm'. You nod and look for his lips.

-His hands grasp on your butt as he releases.

-And you rest your head on his shoulder as you reach your orgasm too.

-Biting him as you try to be as quiet as possible.

-His seed drips out of you as he goes soft inside you while you kiss.

-'Imagine if I got pregnant cause of this...' You say and he smiles.

-'Stop playing, you're on the pill'.

-'Yeah but imagine'. You chuckle.

-'Well, we'd run away together'.

-You scoff as you smile. 'You really want a kid at our age?'

-'If it's yours...' He says as he smiles and you scoff again.

-'You're crazy'.

-He chuckles as he takes a lock of hair out of your face. 'Yeah, for you'.

-'Wow, you gotta shut up now'. You say as you playfully hit him.

-He holds your wrists to make you stop and you lean over him to kiss as you're still blushing over what he said.

------------------------------------------------

-It's a rainy morning at school next day so your eyes are glued to the window while you wait for everyone to arrive to class.

-Seungmin is later than normal.

-You can see him arriving from the window.

-And as soon as the others see him people start whispering.

-It's nothing weird, it happens everyday.

-But today everyone is being extra careful not to be heard.

-You manage to catch something though.

-It's not gossiping this time.

-They're trying to calm someone down.

-You turn around and see one of the guys from yesterday fidgeting on his chair as your other classmates talk to him.

-Your eyes meet for a split second and he stands up to leave.

-You watch him walking out the class just when Seungmin arrives.

-The guy apologizes and steps aside so your boyfriend can enter the classroom.

-'What did you do?' You ask right away as Seungmin seats next to you.

-He sighs as he looks for his books on his backpack but he doesn't say a word.

-'Seungmin?'

-'I did nothing. Minho had a little talk with him and his friend after what they said yesterday. That's all'.

-'Is Minho your guardian dog or??' You ask and Seungmin laughs making you hard not to smile too.

-'Ah, y/n don't you ever say that in front of him'. He chuckles.

-'Okay and you stop laughin cause I can't stay mad at you like this'.

-'Well, then don't. I already told you he didn't beat them or anything they just had a chat.'

-You kinda growl in frustration and he chuckles again. 'What was that?' He asks.

-'Nothing. I just don't understand why someone who is obviously going to be able to get any job he wants gets into this kind of stuff when he can have a simple and unproblematic life.' You say and he scoffs as he smiles.

-'Do I look like a guy who wants a simple life?' He asks and you feel some kind of butterflies in your stomach as you blush.

-'I... Shut up'.

Pt3 (Soon)

Blog’s Masterlist

[puckngrind]

What’s In a Name: 12 - J. Toews

Chapter 12.

Where we left off: Bekah settles into life in Chicago as Jon starts off the season which proves to be a rocky one including the firing of his coach.

Warnings: smut, language

Word Count: 3,532

Series Masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

Losing.

Jon was an uptight ball of stress and the added coaching change didn’t help matters. He even tried to convince his own father not to come for the dad’s trip. “Why would he want to see us get our asses handed to us even if it means playing a round of golf?” Jon huffs out as Bekah tries to convince him to settle down.

“Maybe a few days with your dads will help the guys and you?” Bekah braces herself expecting Jon to argue.  He just looked at her and took his aggression out on the kitchen cabinet that made Bekah jump.

While the team didn’t win on the road with their fathers the next home game thankfully brought a win for the new coach, Jeremy. Jon’s demeanor didn’t change much even with the two wins at home and prepared to head out for a Thanksgiving road trip. The night before leaving and Bekah was to fly to Columbus, she laid in bed wide awake while Jon kept tossing and turning. “Maybe I should stay in Columbus longer than the road trip?” She whispered to herself.

“Why?” Jon groans and pulls Bekah back into his chest.

“I thought you were asleep.” She snuggles into him.

“Why do you think you should stay in Columbus longer?” Jon’s voice was low and gravely.

“Maybe I’m a distraction. Reason you aren’t focused, just like last season?” Her voice barely above a whisper.

“Rebekah!” Jon almost shouts in the quiet of the night. “Are you fucking serious? You think how the team is playing is because you live here now?” Bekah just nods into his bare chest as he runs his fingers through her hair. “Well it has nothing to do with you. I’m so thankful you are here. You know that right?” Jon kisses the top of her head.

“But Tae...”  Bekah starts to counter his point.

“But nothing. Go home like planned. Enjoy Thanksgiving with your family but don’t stay because you think it’s better for my career. Okay?”

“Yeah.” There was more in her voice and Jon caught it.

“What’s that mean? Yeah. There was more there.” Jon questions.

“It’s me that’s all.” Bekah shifts in his arms.

“What is it Beks? Talk.” Jon’s voice was laced with concern.

“You still want me? Here and well, in general?” Bekah’s voice breaks with allowing her internal thoughts loose.

“Of course! I love you.” Jon pulls Bekah’s chin up so he can look into her eyes. “I want you here. I want you.” Bekah closes her eyes. “Babe. What is going on?”

“It is stupid. I know this, but we haven’t had sex since before your dad’s trip. I know you have been stressed but I keep thinking maybe you... I don’t know. Maybe you think this is a mistake.” Bekah covers her eyes with her hand and hears Jon’s breathing change.

“No, I’m just a fucking idiot.” Jon moves their bodies so he’s laying on top of Bekah. “Finally telling you I love you and you moving here have been the best things that have happened to me this year and ever really. And clearly my stress of the season not going well and a new coach has taken a toll on our sex life.” He kisses her softly.

“I didn’t tell you that so you would have pity sex with me you know? I was just being honest.” She feels Jon harden between their bodies.

“I know and sex with you is never pity sex. Now not having sex is all I’m gonna think about until I rectify the situation. Just take this as my apology, m’kay?” Jon’s lips slide from her lips to her neck. His fingers slide his shirt off her body. Bekah’s body flinches. “I really am sorry, Baby. I hope you know how beautiful you are. How much I appreciate you? How madly I love with all of you?” He kisses down her body feeling her relax under his touch. “All this is new to me too, you know?” Jon kisses her stomach and looks up to see Bekah’s eyes glued shut. “Someone living with me, especially during the season. It’s new territory. I need to learn to balance hockey and you.” Jon shifts between her legs and Bekah starts to talk but moans in reaction to Jon’s gentle kiss to her core.

“Tae.” Bekah whimpers grabbing hold of the pillow under her head as Jon licks through her folds. “Tae!” Bekah moans out again.

“Let me take care of you.” Jon kisses her clit and starts pressing his tongue into her. She whimpers from the touch.

“Up here. Please.” Bekah almost begs stopping Jon’s actions. He slides his body back up hers kissing her skin with each move. He finally makes his way back up to her face is hovering over her.

“I love you, Beks. You know that, yes?” Jon pulls his face away from hers.

“Yes, I love you too.” Bekah wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down so their lips crash into each other. Jon pulls away slightly to shift his hips over hers and slides deep inside. Bekah feels the familiar stretch and Jon’s lips desperately attach to her own. His actions slow and intentional. Bekah’s body wrapped tightly around his. Jon whispering affirmations of his love just intensify the orgasm that crashes over her body as he releases his own. Both panting when Jon positions their bodies so he can wrap his arms and legs around her. “I really am sorry, Beks.” He kisses her temple.

“I’m sorry too. We are learning together.” Bekah kisses his chest. “Now let’s get some sleep before we both have to get on planes tomorrow.”

“I wish we could do your Thanksgiving together eventually but I’m glad you are going home.” Jon admits.

“We sorta have, Tae. Remember when you were hurt? That was Thanksgiving weekend.” Bekah remembers her feelings of jumping on the plane to be with him.

“Oh, how could I forget? It’s the trip I realized I was falling hard for you. You coming to take care of me. The way we did couple things that weren’t just sex... yeah. I saw a glimpse of what life with you in it would be like.” Jon’s admission made Bekah’s body break out on goosebumps.

“I fought it hard but that trip was a turning point for me too, Tae.” Bekah yawns.

“Let’s sleep, my love.” Jon runs his fingers down Bekah’s spine.

“Yes. Sleep, mon amour.” Bekah’s voice becomes softer as she falls asleep on Jon’s chest.

Thanksgiving with her family was pretty much the same except the never ending line of questions about Jon and Chicago. Bekah was thankful she chose to stay at Brynn’s instead of her parents by the time evening hit. The two best friends decided way too early in the morning to go out shopping on Friday. Walking around Easton the ladies checked out the sales. Brynn talking all about what she was getting Derek when she looked back to see Bekah had stopped dead in her tracks.

“What does one get her professional athlete boyfriend for Christmas?” Bekah’s question was loud enough to grab the attention of those walking by. Brynn closed the distance and looks up at her friend.

“Maybe not announce your relationship status in a crowd of strangers for starters?” Brynn says in a hushed voice as Bekah’s face floods when she notices the eyeballs on her. “You know Jon. You know he likes sentimental over extravagant.” Brynn links arms with Bekah and the two walk past a  lingerie store. “But he definitely needs you to buy something from here!” Brynn pulls the two inside as Bekah drags her feet.

“Tae, why aren’t your parents coming until the 26th?” Bekah looks at their shared calendar on her laptop and up at Jon who was leaning in her office doorway eating an apple.

“David is staying in Winnipeg plus they want to see the game on the 27th. So it’s just the two of us for Christmas.” Jon takes another bite.

“Oh! My parents are driving in on the 22nd and leaving after the game on the 23rd. It took some convincing to get them to stay here, you know and refused to let us fly them. Dad said something about an adventure.” Jon hums in acknowledgment knowing she’s not done. “You and Kaner, hockey boys and their nicknames, have the Children’s hospital thing on the 17th. That’s the same day I have the Lady Hawks thing. We are hosting Christmas party on the 30th before we head to South Bend for media. I’ll just leave the decorations up until we get back.” Bekah closes the computer and rounds her desk.

“Speaking of, I love how the place looks. Reminds me of Christmas at home.” Jon smiles as she shrugs her shoulders at the compliment then eyes the new puck shelf with her collection on it.

“I love my new shelf. I get a new one soon right?” Bekah’s eyes brighten as she wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him into her.

“Yes. You will get a Winter Classic puck and I get to see you on the ice!” Jon smirks and Bekah gulps.

“That’s optional right?” Bekah distracts Jon by biting his apple.

“Not really. I mean I guess you don’t have to skate but it’s one of those things I’ve been looking forward to. The guys with kids will bring them out. Babe, I’m not going to make you but family skate is a memory I want to have with you.” Jon drops his forehead to hers.

“And you won’t let me go?” Bekah whispers.

“You skate right?” Jon questions bringing his open hand to her chin, bringing her eyes to his.

“I can stand on the ice really well.” Bekah admits confidently while Jon kisses her lips holding back his laughter.

“I’ll hold on to you, Baby. Promise.” Jon snickers.

Christmas in Chicago was magical. Bekah’s parents drove in from Ohio and both Jon and Bekah could tell how overwhelmed with the house they were. In bed that night Jon was kissing down Bekah’s shoulder he started laughing. “What’s so funny?” Bekah sends the email she was typing and puts down her phone. Your parents reaction to the house was the same as yours and they are staying where you stayed. It’s just funny thinking about how comfortable you are here now. Jon moves his body on top of hers.

“Jonathan, we are NOT having sex with my parents down the hall.” Bekah whisper yells at him as he kisses her lips.

“You sure?” He bites at her lip. “Can we make out like high school kids at least?” Jon pulls his face away from hers and pushes his bottom lip out to pout.

“Fine, one moan or grunt and we are done.” Bekah whispers as Jon pulls her face to his while tongue quickly slips between her lips. He pulls then flips their bodies around so Bekah is straddling one of his legs. Her hips move along his thigh in reaction to how passionately he’s kissing her. Jon’s hands find her hips helping her move her core along his flexed thigh. Bekah breaks for a breath. “Are you trying to get me to...” she tries to even her breath then whispers “orgasm?” Jon pulls her core along his thigh again.

“What? Not sex.” He leans in to kiss her again and she melts into his lips. Hips moving quickly along his thigh and Jon holds Bekah’s body in place and kissers her hard when he feels her muscles tighten. They break and Bekah bites her lip muffling the moan that wants to escape her lips. Jon’s look of satisfaction his written across his face.

“I cannot believe you!” She playfully hits his chest then sweetly kisses his lips. “So if this is high school do you want a hand job?” She laughs and Jon groans. “Or can you be ridiculously quiet?” Jon wildly nods his head and moves slightly to remove her underwear and Jon follows her. “If my parents hear...” Bekah starts to sag while lowering herself onto his length.

“They won’t, promise.” Jon thrusts up and pulls Bekah to his chest.

The next day was filled with getting to know Jon more over breakfast then exchange of gifts. Jon and Bekah got her parents, Jim and Marie, Blackhawk sweatshirts to wear at the game. Bekah wanted to give them something they would never do for themselves so she bought tickets to a broadway show in Columbus that Bekah’s mom had talked about but knew Jim wouldn’t pay for the seats she wanted. Bekah was thankful Jon thought it was an amazing idea to give them a date night. Bekah and Jon were told to open their gifts together. Each revealing a large wooden heart. When Bekah looked at the center her eyes began to water.

“Mom, Dad... I...” Jon’s hand grabs hers. Bekah’s fingers trace the skyline of Columbus and look over to see Chicago’s iconic skyline on his.

“Jim, Marie, these are amazing. Thank you.” Jon squeezes Bekah’s hand finishing her statement.

“B, they are from that artist you always stop in his booth during festivals. We called and had them custom made.” Jim smiles wide taking in his daughter’s reaction.

“Well, I know exactly where these will go.” Bekah composes herself. “Now let’s head out to do all the tourist things while Jon takes his pregame nap.”

Bekah was hoping the Blackhawks would do well but the opposite happened. Jon even found himself with a penalty. He looked back a minute in to his penalty to see Bekah explaining the game to her parents. Jim and Marie seem to enjoy the game even with the loss. While making their way to Jon, Bekah could feel her mom wanted to say something. “What is it Mom?” Bekah asks once they got to the family area.

“You are at home here. So relaxed.” Marie says matter of factly and smiles at both Bekah and Jim.

“I really am. I’m happy, Mom.” Bekah hugs her mom and then her dad.

“We can tell B. We will see you soon, okay?” Jim picks her up a bit in his hug before Jon greeted them and the couple sends the Pierces on their way home to Columbus.

The next morning Bekah rolled over to find Jon missing. Her hand finds a note on his pillow.

Get ready. Dress warm. No Hawks gear. Coffee is waiting. Always, Tae

“What are we doing? It’s Christmas Eve!” Bekah wraps her arms around Jon who was sitting at their counter bar reading his phone.

“Part of your Christmas present. Ready?” Jon hands her a travel mug and grabs the layers of clothing to add to his t-shirt.

“Am I dressed okay?” Bekah does a little spin and Jon catches her in his arms. He sways a bit like they are dancing then kisses her lips.

“Perfect as long as you have layers but I can always keep you warm. Let’s go!” Jon drove towards Millennium Park.

“Tae, what are we doing?” Bekah looks around as Jon gets out of the car and fishes a bag out of the back seat.

“Being Chicagoans Beks plus we need to break in these!” Jon opens the bag to reveal a pair of his hockey skates and a smaller pair for Bekah.

“We are skating here?!” The mixture of excitement nerves apparent. “But people, you know, know you.” Jon laughs.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean it stops me from doing things with you. We go to dinner just fine, don’t we?” Jon throws a little sass at Bekah. “Let’s go.” Jon tosses the bag on his back and heads to the ice rink. He gracefully steps onto the ice and turns to help Bekah. She was shocked by how not awkward she felt on the ice which all because of Jon. He slowly skating next to her with his arm snaked around her torso.

“Please don’t let me fall.” Bekah whispered as Jon shifted to in front of her.

“I got you Babe.” Jon smiles. “One more time around.” She holds his gloved hands with a death grip. “Hungry?” He asks and she nods as they skate off. Next stop was Portillo’s for Chicago dogs. Bekah laughed as Jon ate his without a bun and a fork.

“There is only one hotdog I like!” Bekah takes a bite and Jon smirks

“Oh yeah, just one? Really?” His smirk grows to a wide dimply smile. Bekah scoffs when she realized what he was insinuating.

The rest of their day included the flower show at Franklin Park Conservatory, dinner at Lou Malnati’s, and finally driving around to see the city lights with Garrett’s popcorn and hot chocolate.

“Today was fun!” Bekah cuddles into Jon in bed.

“I’m glad. I was hoping so. I know we don’t eat that ever.”

“And I’m okay with that. It was a fun change today. Thank you.” Bekah falls asleep while talking.

“Good Morning!” Jon whispers Christmas morning.

“Good Morning, Tae. We know Santa didn’t come right? We can sleep in.” Bekah eyes the clock on her nightstand.

“I’m going to make breakfast if you want to sleep in.” Jon kisses her forehead.

“I’m coming!” Bekah slips out of bed and throws on her bathrobe over Jon’s shirt. The couple danced to Christmas music while making breakfast.

“Can I give you your gift yet?” Jon sneaks a piece of bacon from the plate. His excitement for Christmas written all over his face.

“Jon, yesterday with the skates is a gift enough! Seriously. We said two gifts.” Bekah kisses his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Jon grabs their plates and makes it to the blanket he set up in front of the tree and the fire place.

Jon hands Bekah two boxes and flicks the smaller box at her. Opening slowly she reveals two leather like bracelets. One inside the other. “So the smaller one is for you. It’s already been branded. I’ll let you pick what to put on mine.” Jon takes the bracelet and slips it on her wrist. “That way no matter where we are we have a reminder of the other.” Bekah spins the bracelet over her wrist to see Always, Tae branded on the leather.

“Jon, this is perfect.” She breathes out and leans to kiss his lips. “I think I know what yours will say. Property of Beks.” Bekah laughs hard and Jon joins then motions for the next gift. Bekah opens to reveal a black and white Toews jersey and matching beanie. “Oh I love it, Tae!” Her fingers run across the letters in Toews.

“I know it’s silly but I know you said you liked it.” He runs his hand along the back of his neck as Bekah grabs the two boxes.

“Big box first.” Jon didn’t even wait for her to finish. Inside there were four painted canvas emerge.

“Oh, theses are really awesome.” Jon takes in the different painted canvas with some texture to each.

“Well the one on top is here, that reddish one is Columbus, the greenish one is Winnipeg, orange is Sedona.” Bekah explains and sees Jon’s puzzled face. “The texture is soil from each on. Your mom helped with the Winnipeg one and your training team helped with Sedona. They can be hung separately but also those lines make a heart when put together.” Bekah finishes and looks a Jon’s shocked face.

“Beks. These are... so very cool. How did you think to do it? Where did you get them?”

“I painted them during a road trip.” Jon leans over to kiss her then realizes what she said.

“YOU created these?” Jon’s mouth drops open. “Oh Babe! Best gift. I’m not sure how this one will beat it.” Bekah smirks as he starts to open the smaller box. Jon pulls out the black and red lingerie she picked out with Brynn.

“For later.” Bekah bites her lip taking in Jon’s face.

“Holy fuck, Beks! Can later be now?  Can later be NOW?” Bekah giggles.

“Maybe.” Jon nods.

“I mean it is Christmas!” Jon licks his lips.

“Well, Marry Christmas Captain!” Bekah pulls the lingerie set into her hands. “Give me like 10 minutes.”

“Yes, Marry Christmas to me.” Jon’s fingers lace together behind his head and he leans against the chair behind him. Bekah stands to head to the bedroom and eyes something stuck in the tree.

“What’s this?”  Bekah’s fingers reach into the tree and pull out the pristinely wrapped small box.  Jon shrugs his shoulders.  “Jon?”

“What’s the tag say?”  Jon’s tongue sticks out from between his teeth.  

“To Beks from Santa.  Geez, Jon!  We said two gifts and you have cheated.”  Bekah looks down at the accomplished look on her boyfriend’s face.   “Well YOU put four canvases in one... so just open it Beks.”  Jon encourages.

Bekah’s fingers begin to open the wrapping to reveal a jeweler’s box.  Her gasp catches in her throat as Jon stands.  “Jon...”  She breathes out and starts to open the box slowly.

[harrystyleswatermelon-sugar]

The assistant

„Miss Y/L/N, I can´t bring any of the other women here, when they would hear who the client is…they would freak out. I know you hate being the plenipotentiary and to certify the purchase contract outside of the notary…but you literally have no choice,” my boss says and I sigh. I know he is right and I know I have to go, but I don´t want. I hate it. I like being in my office, having no contact with strangers and do my thing.

“I can do it, I think. But who is this mysterious famous client? Bon Jovi? The Queen?” I ask and laugh a bit my boss rolls his eyes at me and I stop laughing. Sometimes I forget what a jerk he is and try to be myself.  

“It´s Harry Styles, you know him?” he asks and hands me the file. I flip through the pages until I find the draft. He buys a huge mansion in Hampstead Heath. Its value is £8.5. million and I gasp at the numbers. So much money.

“Yes, I do know him. I like his music, but I am not an obsessive fan,” I answer my boss´s question and he nods.

“I thought so, okay the appointment is tomorrow at 10. We are meeting at his house. Please dress formal,” he says and I nod. Normally I just wear denim and a nice top, but with someone this range, I understand that we have to look presentable.

 The next morning, I am indeed a bit nervous. It is not every day that I have to accompany my boss or meet a famous singer. I look at myself and nod in agreement. This is perfect. I chose a formal tight fitted dress in dark blue with a brown blazer and brown shoes. I put on some makeup and took the time to curl my hair, so it falls in flowy waves over my back.

Last night I googled our client and to be honest, I am pretty excited to see him. He seems nice and very attractive.

My boss collects me at our law firm and we drive to Harry Styles house. I carry Harrys file with the certificate and my bag. Mr Smith holds in front of a gate and presses a small button. No name is on the sign, but I think that is for safety reasons. The gate opens and I wonder, why he opens without checking who we are but then I see a small camera and realise, he sees us.

As we walk to the front door, it opens and I see him. He is beautiful, just stunning. Mr Smith shakes his hand and introduces me.

“This is Miss Y/L/N. She will sign the contract for the seller, he can´t be here today. She is authorized to do so,” Harry smiles at me and shakes my hand as well. He is tall and his eyes are sparkling, wandering over me.

“Hello, very nice to meet you,” he says and I smile back at him.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr Styles.” he leads us into his house and we sit down at the huge dining table. He already set up some glasses, water and cookies. They look hand-made, did he really bake?

Mr Smith explains Harry how it will work and starts reading the contract. He has to do so, but I don’t need to listen. I look around me and wonder how it is to be living in such a huge house all by yourself. It must be very lonely.

I see some guitars next to a piano, some sheets with notes and a few books. The room is dominated by a huge couch and a Flatscreen. In the corner, there is a fireplace and everything looks fancy and expensive. I look at my hands, my not so fresh manicure and I suddenly get embarrassed of myself. I am usually not self-conscious but in front of this gorgeous human being, I suddenly am. I get a bit nervous and Harry seems to notice, that I am not as comfortable as before. His eyes look a bit concerned and he cuts Mr Smith off by asking me:

“Are you okay?” I turn red and nod.

“Yeah, everything´s fine,” I answer and smile at my boss, scared that he might get upset. Sadly, I don’t have the best relationship with him, he often gets really annoyed and shouts at me. I am his personal assistant after all, but he is an idiot. If he wants something, he can be really nice but otherwise he usually is an idiot.

Harrys eyes follow mine and he looks at my boss. Mr Smith raises an eyebrow at me and I bite my lip. Oh god, I think I will be in trouble. He continues reading the contract as I can feel, that Harry is still looking at me. I avoid looking at him and stare at my hands.

Mr Smith finishes reading and shows Harry, where he has to sign. Harry does what he has to do and then it is my turn. I look at his hand, as he hands me the pen and smile at him.

“Thanks,” I mumble under my breath and he smirks, touching my hand on purpose as I take the pen. My hand is shaking a bit and I know, that both men notice it.

“I just check, if my information is alright,” I say and flip to the correct site. I read the paragraph and nod. Then I sign right under Harry and hand everything to Mr Smith. He signs and puts everything back into the file, so I can make an official document out of it, when we are back.

“Mr Styles, it was a pleasure meeting you. I think we will head back now and don’t bother you anymore,” Mr Smith says and I am eager to control the reflex and not roll my eyes. He is so over the top friendly, that I cringe. It is disgusting. Harry notices it too and snorts inhumanly. He shakes his hand and then smiles at me, as he says:

“It was nice meeting you too. Have a good day,” he takes my hand in his as Mr Smith walks already out the door.

“Maybe somewhere else,” Harry winks at me and I beam at him. He is flirting with me! With me!

“I doubt that. I don’t think you hang around the same places as I do,” I answer and he shrugs his shoulders.

“You never know, Y/F/N Y/L/N…I will find you, in a not creepy way hopefully,” we both laugh and I look at my boss, who is waiting for me.

“I have to go, he will get mad,” I say and let go of his hand.

“Don’t let him treat you under your value. No one deserves that,” I hear Harry say and walk to the car.

“Was about damn time, what did you two talk about?” my boss asks me and I better get a good reason, or I will definitely be in trouble.

“He wanted to know what the next steps are,” I say and buckle my seatbelt in. I look at Harry, as we leave and he smiles at me. I am a bit sad, that I will probably not see him again, he is really gentle and nice.

 A few weeks later I get a call in my office from our front desk.

“Hey, Y/N. Here is a young man in the line who wants to talk to you. He says his name is Selyts but I couldn’t find anything on him” I laugh and immediately get what happens here. My heart skips a beat and I tell Mary, it is alright.

“White Horse Solicitors and Notary Public, my name is Y/L/N, how can I help you,” I say my usual line, as I am not 100% sure it is Mr Styles.

“Hello Miss Y/L/N. This is-“I interrupt him, because as I hear his voice, I am sure.

“Mr Styles, hello,” I say and he laughs surprised.

“Oh, I was able to fool the lady at the front desk, but not you. I´m not surprised, you figured it, when you heard the name, right?” He asks and I grin. He is such a flirt.

“Yes, I knew it immediately. How can I help you?” I reply and lean back in my chair.

“Well honestly…I just wanted to hear if everything is going it's way?”

“Yes, sure. We sent everything away and I think there will be the announcement of registration and then it is officially yours. As soon as you pay,” I explain to him over the phone. He laughs and I can imagine how his eyes squeeze and I shake my head. He is a fucking client, get your shit together Y/N.

“That shouldn’t be a problem, as long as I get a receipt. So, I don’t need to come to the office or anything else? That´s just it?” he asks and I smile sadly.

“That´s just it. No need to come here, besides my colleagues would freak out if they saw you,” I warn him and hear him laughing once again. His laugh is really cute – oh, stop it Y/N!

“So that’s why you were here? Because you don’t care who I am?”

“Uhm…well, at least I can be professional, what doesn’t mean I don’t care. Please hold on a minute, Mr Smith is coming in” I say just as my boss enters my office, of course without knocking. Before I can put Harry on hold, he already shouts at me.

“Miss Y/L/N, what the fuck did I say about putting the pieces IN. THE. RIGHT. ORDER. Into the file? Is it really that you are so stupid, you don’t even get the simplest thing right? Can you even brew a proper coffee? Probably not, I know why you aren’t a lawyer, because you are just to damn stupid to put the papers in the correct order!” his voice is bitter and he looks so pissed, that I just stare at the ground ashamed. I am sure, I put them in the right order, so it has to be someone else´s fault, but blaming someone else wouldn’t make this better.

“I´m sorry, Mr Smith. I will take care of it,” I mumble and he throws the file at the carpeted floor. Papers fly around and the cover rips open. It will take me at least three hours to get this massive file in order again. Great, I had planned to meet a friend after work. I guess I can quit that now. My boss slams the door shut when he leaves and I get on my knees to collect the papers. I suddenly remember the phone and gasp. I forgot to put Harry on hold, he probably heard everything and I run back to the phone.

“Shit, shit, shit!” I mutter as I see, that the red light is still out. It should be on, to prevent the caller from listening.

“Mr Styles? I´m back…do you have any more questions?” I say and I really hope he didn’t hear anything from the previous conversation.

“No, I mean…yes…what happened?” he asks and I can´t possibly tell him what happened.

“Oh nothing, everything´s fine here. It´s just a bit stressful, I am going to work overtime today, that´s all,” I answer and close my eyes. Hopefully he buys it.

“Okay, then have a good evening and don’t work too much. Don’t forget to eat and don’t let your boss get to you. You are awesome,” he says and I turn bright red. He is so nice, I can´t handle it.

“Don´t worry. Bye, Mr Styles. It was nice meeting you” we say our final goodbyes and as I hang up, I bury my face in my hands. Oh, dear god.

The whole new organization of the file takes way longer than expected. It turns out, someone messed up the whole file and it is one of the biggest we have. At 11 PM I am devastated, hungry and tired. Good thing is, tomorrow is Saturday so I can sleep as long as I want.

I let my head sink on my desk onto all those papers and sigh. This was such a hard day and it is not yet over. I still have a few papers to organize and I flinch, as someone knocks on my office door. Everybody left hours ago, I thought I was alone.

“Who´s there?” I ask and hope I look at least half presentable. The door opens and I see Harry Styles lurking around the corner. He smiles as he sees me and I sit straight up.

“H…ello Mr Styles. What are you doing here? It is the middle of the night,” I say and rescue myself by turning the original H from Harry into the H from hello.

“Hello, love. I thought you might be hungry and overworked, so I brought you some food and company,” he says and I smile. Too sweet, but why? I don’t even know him.

“Thank you, that’s so nice of you. But really not necessary, you are our client. You shouldn’t be here,” I answer and he presses his lips together.

“Look, Miss Y/L/N. I heard your argument with Mr Smith and I noticed, that you are afraid of him. I thought I am coming around and show you some appreciation of what he clearly doesn’t do, so this is for you. If you want me to leave, that´s fine…I will. Just take the food and be sure your work is greatly appreciated,” he says smiling and puts the bag on my desk.

This is the nicest thing someone has done for me in a long time. This is amazing and so thoughtful of him. He turns around and walks to the door.

“Wait…would you like to eat with me?” I ask him and he turns half around, smiling.

“Sure, I´d love to. But please call me Harry,” he suggests and I put the files and papers away. He sits down in front of my desk and gets out all the stuff he bought.

“Oh god, Mr Smith will kill me…but my name is Y/N,” I reply and sit down. We eat together, talking about the contract and my boss.

“I am not allowed to talk about such things, but you are right. He is horrible,” I just reply to his question.

“Why do you work here, then? I think you could work anywhere you want. I bet you have a good education,” he assumes and I nod. He is right, my education is pretty good.

“I don’t know, maybe I am afraid of changes,”

“Change is good, really. We need change. You clearly need it.” He answers and I look at him. His green eyes never leave mine until I break the eye contact and sigh.

“I don’t know, I´m always so afraid,”

“Don’t be. Just do it, be brave. It´s worth it,” he says and I roll my eyes at him. Sure, being brave sounds good, if you have a fortune and don’t care about any normal job.

I get up and begin collecting the waste, to throw it away.

“I am not brave at all,” I finally answer and look at him. He gets up from his chair and sees directly into my eyes. His hands are on my arms, as he now says:

“Then be it. Just try. What would you do, if you´d be brave and would care less about this job?” he asks me and I can´t look away. I would kick the file from my desk, kiss Harry, fuck with him on my desk and then go home and face my boss with no fear on Monday. But I know I´d never do one of those things.

“Do it. Whatever you are thinking now, do it,” he requests and I look over to the file on my desk. He is right, I should just be brave and do it and don’t care about this job. I will find another one, definitely. I smile shyly, move to the file and throw it on the ground. It feels good. Really relieving.

“Very good, I am proud of you!” Harry cheers and I laugh.

“Felt good?”

“Hell yes. You are right, I should do what is best for me, not for the company. I will quit, I wanted it for so long, but I was afraid,” I tell him and he nods.

“If that is what you want, yes. Do it.” He supports me and I think about how a stranger is capable of getting me to the final point to quit. My eyes meet his and I decide, to just do it, like he said. I walk over, grab his face with both my hands and press my lips on his. He immediately grabs my hips and pushes me backwards onto my desk. Two hearts, one idea. I rip off his shirt and he pulls mine over my head.

Sometime later, we both look at each other, swollen lips and panting. His chest is covered in sweat and I can´t believe I just got fucked by Harry Styles on my office desk. And it was damn good.

“That was…unexpected. I did not plan for this to happen,” Harry says out of breath and I grab my undergarments, to get dressed again.

“Well, it did happen,” I reply shy all of a sudden. Being naked in front of someone like him, who has seen models naked makes me insecure. As fast as I can, I put my dress back on and skip sliding into my thighs. I just shove them into my bag.

“Hey, look at me, Y/N.” he says with a calm voice and as I turn around, he comes to me. His eyes wandering over my face, when he takes my hands in his. He is in his briefs and his Shirt, but no pants yet. I look up and meet his green, mesmerizing eyes.

“This was not wrong. I want you to know that I came here to be close to you, to get to know you. I didn’t mean for this to happen right now and here, but it just shows that you feel the same as I do and that’s unbelievable. I want to date you, in private, no cameras, no media, just the two of us. How does that sound to you?” he asks and I can see the hope in his eyes. I am not sure, it is so unprofessional to date a client, but I like him. I do. He is so friendly and nice and to be honest, I already had a crush on him, before I met him but knowing him a bit better now…I am absolutely falling for him.

“I´d like that very much, yes,” I reply and smile at him.

“That´s good news but from now on, we take it slow okay? This happened, but I will date you the normal way, like any regular guy does,” he proposes and I laugh. As if he is a regular guy, but I just nod and hug him. He is so warm and his hug is very comforting and he smells amazing.

 Four months later Harry and I are still dating, I quit my job after we met in my office and found a new job almost immediately. I get more salary, have a nicer work environment and it is closer to my home.

Until today we have been very secretive about our dating and mostly kept it out of the media. Here and there we were papped leaving a restaurant or just strolling around, but there is no evidence, that we are really dating.

“You, ready, love?” Harry asks and enters his bedroom. I am standing in front of the mirror and checking my appearance again and again.

“No, I don’t know. Maybe I should wear the other dress, I am scared this won´t look good next to your suit,” I whine and feel his arms snaking around my waist. Today is the day, we are going public. It is the world premiere of his new movie and he asked me to join him on the red carpet.

“You look absolutely beautiful, don’t worry,” he assures me and kisses my cheek. I look at us in the mirror. His suit is plain dark grey and he looks so good in it, it should be forbidden. My dress, on the other hand, is a sparkly dark red one with no straps or sleeves.

“I am so scared, what if your fans won´t like me? What if it would´ve been better to hide me?” I ask and look at the ground, as he turns me around in his arms.

“Darling, Y/N. I love you with all my heart and I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I am not leaving you, if my fans don’t like you. Which will not happen. There is nothing to not love on you,” he says and I smile at him. He just said that he loves me. I mean, I figured it but it is the first time one of us said it out loud.

“You love me,” I say and he giggles, resting his forehead on mine.

“I do. I love you,” he repeats and I kiss him passionately. My heart is about to explode and I just want to be near him, hold him, smell him.

“I love you too, Harry,” I reply and look at him. He hugs me and I press my body against him, clinging to him as if I am going to drown without him.

When we arrive at the premiere venue Harry takes my hand, as soon as we are out of the car.

“Just never let go, okay?” I beg him and he nods smiling.

“Never,” his voice is deep and raspy as I take a deep breath. We step into the flashing lights, are fired with questions and I just smile, holding on to Harry hand, turning, feeling him pulling me closer and letting go of my hand. I look at him in panic, but he grabs my hip, pressing me to his side and showing me off a bit, I think.

We finally get to the interviewers and I thought he has to be there alone, but he keeps tugging me with him. He does his interviews and finally, the big question comes.

“Who is joining you tonight? You look stunningly beautiful, by the way” the interviewer says to me and winks. I smile and nod thankful because he is so nice. Harry looks at me and smiles, as he answers.

“This is my girlfriend Y/N, she is breath-taking, you are right”

“It is official, Harry Styles is off of the market, dear ladies. Have a good night today and enjoy yourselves, but be careful this beautiful lady does not steal your show” he winks at us and I look down at our entwined hands.

“Oh, she always does, I am sure. Thank you mate, see you around” Harry says his goodbye and moves on to the next one. It takes so long, that I am nearly dried out when we finally get to the fans. They are so sweet, asking for pictures and autographs, some ask who I am and then want me to join the picture.

Inside we find our seats and I greet his co-stars, which I mostly know. The film is brilliant and I have to decline Harrys snogging attempts because I don’t want to miss anything. He frowns at me and sticks his tongue out. I laugh and when the credits appear I look at him, like a proud mom.

“I loved it, you were brilliant,” I say and lean in to kiss him.

“Thanks, babe. I love you,” he replies and smiles into the kiss. We hear some fans cheering behind us, as the lights turn on and we are still kissing each other.

“See they like you, just as I do,” he kisses my cheek once again and I laugh.

“I hope not, I don’t want to sleep with all of them,” he grins and winks at my response.

“Dirty girl,” we chuckle and then meet some more fans outside the venue before we head home to Harrys house.

Hello lovelies, I hope you liked my newest OS. Yes, I tried a bit smut and if you like it, I have another one with even more smut.

Let me know. 

Love, xx

[strangerontheotherside84]

Live Wire Part 2 (Billy Hargrove x Reader)

Disclamer: okay so this is part 2 and I’m actually considering to continue this story a bit more. let me know what you think.

Warnings: swearing, 18+, smut, underage drinking, cheating

tagged: @winter-captain-01

________________________________________________________

Billy’s POV

„Hello? Is anybody home?“

Actually Billy would have prefered to stay in the car and not have another meet-the-parents-experience but since Vicki didn’t come outside at 8 like she said she would, he had had no other choice than to go looking for her. She was propably busy doing her hair again.

He was already heading towards Vicki’s room as he heard loud banging noises coming from the basement. He followed the sound, quickly making his way down the wodden stairs. What he then saw was more than he could have ever excpected.

Y/n was sitting behind a drumset playing along to Mötley Crüe’s „Live Wire“. She was brutally hitting the drums, making it hard to hear the actual record which was playing over the speakers, while mouthing the words or maybe even singing along. Her y/h/c hair was falling in her face. Billy stood in silence, watching her for a while until she finally moved her head towards the stairs, meeting his gaze, which caused her to stop playing immediately.

„Wrong floor, thought you’d knew that by now.“, were the words she greeted him with as she got up and turned down the stereo behind her, barely bothering to look at him. „Vicki isn’t here.“

„Where is she then?“ „I don’t know and I don’t care.“ „She told me to pick her up at 8.“ „Well sorry bout that. But I hope you can understand that my compassion is limited to a minimum in this case. It was you who chose to voluntary spend time with her after all.“, y/n scoffed as she walked over to a trunk in the back of the room and bent over to grab a can of beer out of it. She was wearing a pair of red gym shorts that barely covered her ass, making it very hard for Billy not to stare at her. „So you’re not going to Tina’s party, huh?“, he changed the topic while leaning over the banister he was firmly grabbing onto with both of his hands, licking over his lips. „I never do.“, still no eye-contact. „And why’s that?“ „I don’t get invited and other than that I have better things to do.“

„Yeah I can see that.“ Billy noted with a smirk as he precisely watched y/n take a seat behind the drumset again, running her fingers through the messy hair that was sticking to her face. Cheeks flustered. One could only imagine how she would look like in other sweat-inducing activties, “Hey, how abou-?“

„Billy! What are you doing down here?“, Vicki’s voice suddenly interrupted him, „I’ve been waiting for you in my room! Hurry up! We’re going to be late for the party!“.

Billy rolled his eyes before walking up the stairs, pushing past her to make his way to the car. Vicki stopped him by grabbing his arm and basically throwing herself at the curly haired boy. „I missed you so much. Such a shame that you didn’t come upstairs right away.“

„Get a room! And please not this one. I haven’t got that many left to choose from.“, y/n groaned from downstairs.

Reader POV:

Before finally leaving the basement Vicki turned her attention towards you with an annoyed look on her face, „Also, calm down with the the drumming, freak! You’re not Nikki Lee.“

„It’s Tommy.“, you corrected her with a sigh. „Whatever. You’re neither of them. Just a sad loser that spends her friday nights in her parents basement.“, Vicki snapped at you before turning on her heels and walking away with a satisfied smirk.

Wow, what a burn. Wonder how long it took her to come up with that one. „Better than some dumb bitch who’s highlight of the week it is to show off her new boytoy to a bunch of boring Highschool kids.“ you muttered under your breath while picking up your sticks again, quickly spinning one of them between your fingers.

„What was that?“ „Nothing. Have fun at the party!“, you chirped sarcastically before turning towards Billy once again, “Do me a favor and try not to fuck out whatever is left of her brains.“

Vicki opened her mouth to protest but you had already turned the stereo back up, while smashing the snare and stomping your foot on the base-drum to the rhythm of „Take Me To The Top“, while sticking your tongue out at her.

From of the corner of your eye you could see Billy laughing to himself which earned him a deadly stare from Vicki before she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.

-

I want you, I need you I want you to be mine tonight You need me, you tease me Use you up, throw you away

You’re fire, taking me higher Don’t burn me, don’t let me down You need me now, I’ll teach you how Come on, let’s go all the way

You were lying on the couch in your parents basement, spinning your drumstick between your fingers while listening to the stereo. Okay maybe you had to admit that playing the same Mötley Crüe record over and over again while drinking by yourself wasn’t the best friday night you ever had. But at least you had finally been able to play the drums again without any of your family members complaining. Your parents were out of town, visiting some friends and you weren’t sure when Vicki and Billy would return from the party. Maybe they already did.

"Y/n?”,the husky voice coming from the top of the stairs made you jump a little,causing you to drop the drumstick to the ground, before you quickly sat up.

“Did I scare you?”

“Nothing scares me.”

„What are you still doing down here?“

„Well I live here, what’s your excuse?.“ you greeted Billy who was slowly making his way down the stairs, “Did Vicki kick you out?“

„No, she’s just completely shitfaced and fell asleep right away.“ „Well damn, all that stupid partying for nothing.“ you scoffed.

“Are you always this-?”

“Amazing?”

“Snarky.”

“Absolutely!”

Your last comment caused Billy to laugh and shake his head as he sat down on the couch next to you, „So y/n what are you doing down here? I thought you had a room.“ „I do but the walls are thin as paper and let’s just say… Vicki and I have an agreement about that.“ „An agreement?“ „Yeah. I stay down here whenever she’s busy faking orgasms or she’ll tell our parents that I went to a Mötley Crüe gig in Chicago last summer without them knowing, hide booze down here and get send to detention a lot more often than they think I do.“

„That’s pretty harsh.“ Billy muttered. It was only now that you realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath his leather jacket and caught yourself staring at his chest a little bit too long. Luckily Billy hadn’t realized that, or at least pretended not to, as he simply continued the conversation by adding,“If the stuff she does really is faking it I wouldn’t wanna know how boring the real deal is to be honest.“, under his breath.

Wow did he really just? Okay somebody clearly wasn’t sober. But if Billy’s drunk-persona consistet of him talking shit about Vicki you might actually could stand his presence just a bit longer.

“Well you know, Vicki always gets what she wants. And as long as it makes our little princess happy it will be my pleasure to give her the illsuion that I don’t exist from time to time.”, you explained sarcastically while making a dramatic gesture with your hand, ”Especially if this adds a little sense of purpose to her dull life.”

Billy chuckled as he ran his hand across his face, moving his messy curls to the side, “Well she should be happy to have a sister that’s got the balls to sneak out of the house to go see Mötley Crüe. That’s pretty impressive if you ask me.”

“That wasn’t even the most impressive thing I did that night to be honest.”, you chuckled.

“It that so?”, Billy replied with a smirk.

“It is.”

“Well guess I chose the wrong sister to hang out with.”

“Oh don’t worry everybody does.”, you replied dry causing Billy to laugh again.

You had to admit that he wasn’t as much of a jerk as you had thought at first. However, this assumption had been strongly influenced by the fact that he was with Vicki the first time you met him. You had never seen him laugh with her and therefore just assumed that he was some sort of a buzzkill.

Still, you just couldn’t seem to get a certain thought out of your mind. It had been sitting in the back of your head for quite a while now and basically shifted into this big question mark burning in your brain within the last few days.

„Can I ask you something?“, you finally brought it up. Lowering your voice as if there were people watching you. „Sure. Go ahead.“, the curly haired boy replied in his low, husky voice while resting his left arm right next to you on the back of the couch, moving a bit closer towards you. His icy blue eyes almost seemed to be glued to your face with anticipation.

„So don’t get me wrong it’s pretty obvious that a guy like you would go for the hot cheerleader type of girl. But Vicki is just…Vicki is one of the most boring and shallow people I know, all of her friends are idiots and she isn’t even particulary nice to you. She just likes to show you off.“

You raised your eyes to check if you had somehow rubbed Billy the wrong way. It was his girlfriend you were talking about after all. But he didn’t seem to care too much about your words and more about what else you’d might have to say.

„You however,“ you continued,“You actually seem kinda cool. At least from what I can tell. And most definitely compared to the jocks she usually brings home.“

„So you’re trying to tell me I’m too badass for your sister?“ „No. Well yes. But what I’m actually trying to say is… you guys have absolutely nothing in common and yes she’s hot and popular but you could have also screwed and never called her again. Yet you chose to date her. Why?“

„What why?“ „Why do you like my sister?“, your voice was barely a whisper.

„I never said I liked her.“ Billy hummed, eyes still fixed to yours with a piercing stare. „Then why do you still come here every other day?“ „Maybe I do because I wanna see somebody else. Someone who actually is badass and nice-“

There was barely an inch left between your faces and before your brain could fully comprehend what he’d just said, Billy had already pressed his lips onto yours, brushing his fingers across your cheek and burying them in your hair. The kiss was soft at first but quickly grew more passionate as you leaned in aswell.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as he quickly grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap, making sure not to break the kiss.

„You think I never realized the way you parade around the house whenever I was here?“ Billy muttered in a low tone while trailing kisses down your neck, “How good your ass looks in those shorts and the way your nipples always peek through your shirt? I couldn’t keep my eyes off you since I first saw you y/n.“ He buried his teeth into your skin right above your collar bone as he grabbed your ass with both hands and slapped it quickly afterwards, causing you to hiss with pleasure, „Whenever I got home I always couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I’d like to do to you.“

He placed another sharp slap on your ass.

„You like that?“

„Yes.“ you hummed before cupping his face and kissing him again while running your fingers through his messy curls. Billy immediately responded by playfully biting your lower lip.

You quickly moved back for a split second only to remove your shirt and throw it to the corner of the room. Billy licked across his lips as he ran his hands over your bare chest before finally getting rid of his leather jacket and pulling you closer again. Your kisses grew messier with each second, both of you wanting more. The curly haired boy hissed as you buried your teeth into his lip until you could taste blood.

With one of his hands still grabbing your ass he quickly moved your shorts to the side with the other, a dirty grin flashing across his face at the realization that you weren’t wearing any panties. He moved his thumb across your clit before pushing one of his fingers inside you, curling it almost painfully slow. His actions caused you to whimper into his mouth. “Jesus, y/n who got you this wet?”

Billy quickly unbuckled his belt and slid down his jeans just enough for his errection to spring free, before pushing you off his lap and onto the couch. „Good that I didn’t get to use this earlier, right?“ he muttered with a cocky grin on his face as he took a condom from the pocket of his jeans before taking them off completely. You quickly folowed his example, stripping out of your shorts while Billy was putting the condom over his throbbing cock.

Within a heartbeat he was on top of you again, his tongue playfully teasing yours as he forcfully grabbed your hip with one hand and softly choked you with the other.

You gasped with excitement as he finally pushed inside of you, almost immediately slamming his hips into yours at an unforgiving pace, making it almost impossible for you to keep quiet.

„Come on y/n, don’t hold back. Show me how much you enjoy this.“, his hot breath brushed against your ear, making you shiver.

„Fuck, you feel so good.“,you moaned loudly, very thankful for the fact that the stereo was still blasting music.

„You’re such a dirty girl. Fucking your sisters boyfriend while she’s sleeping upstairs.“ The curly haired boy growled.

„Fuck yes! Tell me I’m better than her.“ you managed to gasp in between moaning and whimpering. Your whole body was shaking and you had the feeling that Billy was making you see stars.

„She’s got nothing on you. Don’t act like you don’t know that.“,he hummed while making eye contact with you. The dirty blonde curls were sticking to his face and his pupils almost completely swallowed the blue of his eyes. Billy moved his head back down to kiss you, his tongue teasing you painfully slow while he pulled out of you, only to thrust back into you seconds later. He sped up his pace once again, chocking you as you buried your fingernails into his back.

„Fuck. Don’t stop! I’m gonna-“, you couldn’t even finish your sentence before your orgasm rushed over you, your whole body twitching and tightening underneath Billy’s weight. The curly haired boy hissed at the sensation quickly reaching his high aswell, his back muscles tightening as he buried his teeth in your neck one final time.

„That was fun, drummer girl.“, he gasped with a grin, breathing heavily, before slowly getting up and grabbing his jeans from the floor.