#jimmy bartlett x reader

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

To All The Boys I've Written About Before - Beige Flags

In my never-ending quest to make things that appeal only to me, here's a little exercise for all the boys in my arsenal.

Angel Torres will always help you out around the house, no question about that, but boy will he act like he's a hero for simply loading the dishwasher. I'm talking wiping his brow every time you walk into the kitchen, grunting when he puts a plate on the drying rack. You offer to help but he flat out refuses, and will probably say some shit like "My hands look like this [soapy] so yours can look like that [slightly dirty from repotting your plants]."

Jesse Pinkman will call you "dude" until the end of time. It doesn't matter what stage of your relationship you are currently in, you will always and forever be "dude" to him. "Yo dude, do you want to grab Wendy's on the way home?""Dude, you look pretty today." You could be at the alter and it would be a "Dude, I do." He also 100% buys in to the "glasses make you smarter" myth.

Lemon bought himself a label-maker, and that man LOVES makin' labels. All the drawers in your flat are labeled, so are the spices (even if they already have labels), he labels which food belongs to who, all the wires/cables have a label for what kind of wire/cable they are and what they're for. You told him that you could probably remember which clear jar holds the salt and which holds the ginger-snaps, so he made the label "fuck off" and stuck it to your forehead.

Tangerine refuses to call menu items by their proper names, especially if they're stupid. A matcha latte is "green foamy shit, you know." If the dish is named after someone, this chicken shop you frequent has an Ike's Famous Wings Bowl, he will call it "that bloke's chicken thing, the one with all the spices and shit on it." The worst was when he wanted to order the Foxx on the Roxx Boxx from TGI Fridays (yes that's the spelling, I looked it up), he straight up would not say its name, he just kept pointing at the menu and saying "fucking- this one."

Harvey SDV, sweet man that he is, will always sign off his text messages. It doesn't matter how long or short the message is. There's the standard "darling, I'm running a little bit late, would you like me to pick up something for dinner? Dr H" but there's also the "okay honey (: Dr H" or the "[insert picture of flower] Dr H". You've tried to explain to him that you know that it's him, that he doesn't need to sign off every time he messages you, but it's no use.

Andrew Neiman loves to collect random bits of niche trivia, but will straight up forget incredibly basic things. You two were out at a live music venue, sipping on your tasty little beverages, and he'll just bust out something about the similarities between jazz and Indian music, and while he's expanding on the influence of Ravi Shankar on Coltrane, he'll flip through the menu in front of him and ask you what margarine is.

Carmen Berzatto, common knowledge at this point, always keeps a book on him, which on its own is a very good thing. It keeps him from getting bored, you think it makes him look smart, it's a win by all accounts. But, save for when he's at work, he will whip that book out whenever there's any sort of lull in a conversation or if he's not physically doing something. You were talking to him about weekend plans, and he'll be listening intently because he's a good boyfriend who cares about your thoughts, but as soon as you go quiet to turn around to grab something he's flipping open his copy of The Reivers to quickly read a sentence.

Randal Graves loves to fake propose at restaurants for free shit. He makes a big thing out of it, will pull you aside before you enter Olive Garden and show you the tiny plastic ring he's used about three times already and whisper about the ruse he's about to pull, and all you can do is nod along with him. He's gotten more elaborate each time, from the basic garden-variety proposal, to putting it in your water, to asking to have it put in your Chipotle burrito (you had nearly swallowed it that time), managing to score a few free desserts and, at one point, a bottle of cheapo champagne that he got so incredibly slurshed on at home.

Warren Rojas has this game he likes to play whenever you two go to bars or nightclubs where he will pretend like you two don't know each other just so he can hit on you in the most cheesy ways known to man. Asking to buy you a drink, dumb pick-up lines, saying shit like "My name is Warren, but you can call me anytime." It's so incredibly dumb and he gets the biggest kick out of it. One time when you and Eddie were having a conversation at a party he totally pulled out the "Is this guy bothering you, babe?" He thinks he's so funny.

Jimmy Bartlett, whenever you two are cuddling, will set a timer so he knows when to switch from big spoon to little spoon. He'll bring up the egg timer from the kitchen and set it to 20 minutes before he joins you on his bed. You'll be half asleep after a long shift from work with his head buried in the back of your neck, and the next thing you know he's shuffling around while tiny beeps are sounding and he's somehow got your arms around him before you even realize what's happening, before drifting off again. He says it's only fair.

Miguel O'Hara is like a big dog with the temperament of a house cat; thinks he takes up less space than he does and always at least slightly grumpy. He'll get confused when he goes to put on a sweater that was originally yours (the communal wardrobe holds no prisoners) and finds it tight around his biceps. He knocks his forehead on low doorways constantly, you've taken to shouting 'duck' whenever you see him about to go through one. Watching movies on the couch with him, during a rare moment of peace, can be an ordeal because he always wants to lie down on top of you and you don't have the heart to tell him that he's crushing your lungs.

[royculkins]

would anybody read igby x reader fics and/or jimmy bartlett x reader fics??? there’s not enough writing for them and kieran culkin didn’t serve cunt that hard to not be loved and written about. also would anyone read some for some of rory’s characters as well? the culkins deserve more love i fear

[womenloverlmao]

13 Days of Halloween Masterlist

Oct. 19. Charlie Walker X Reader! Reader (fluff)

In which Reader and Charlie get into a dispute over whether a costume was accurate 

Oct. 20. Emily Prentiss X Stripper! Reader (smut) 

In which Reader does a halloween special at her job, but emily can’t get her hands off them and they have to take the night off Oct. 21. Spencer Reid X Horror Fan! Reader (Fluff)

In which Reader is getting ready for Halloween with a bunch of slasher movies and Spencer finds issues in them

Oct 22. Jimmy Bartlett X Reader (Undecided)

In which reader is far more excited for halloween than Jimmy is and they try to get him in the spirit

Oct. 23. Scott Bartlett X Reader (Fluff)

In which reader and Scott carve pumpkins together

Oct. 24. R. Euronymous X Reader (Fluff)

In which reader makes him dress up with them 

Oct. 25. Jasper Hale X Reader X Alice Cullen (Fluff)

In which reader makes their partners watch horror movies with them and they totally don’t end up being the only one scared

Oct. 26. Mom! Emily Prentiss X Mom! Reader (Fluff)

In which Emily comes home to find both Sergio and her baby being coddled and costumed by their mother

Oct. 27. Scott Pilgrim X Reader (Fluff)

In which Scott attempts to tell reader that Ghosts aren't real

Oct. 28. Dad! Spencer Reid X Mom! Reader (Fluff)

In which Spencer has his first halloween with his pumpkin

Oct. 29. Neil Nordegraf X Reader (Fluff)

In which Neil lets reader do a couples costume with him

Oct. 30. Charlie Walker X Reader X Kirby Reed (Smut) 

In which someone decides to bring the Ghostface mask out for halloween

Oct. 31. Aaron Hotchner X Reader (undecided)

In which, no matter how busy they are, Hotch always finds a way to spend time with his lover on their favorite holiday

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 20 November 2017

Quick Bits:

Angelic #3 continues Qora and the Complainer’s quest to find the Eye of Ay. Just take a moment and look at how beautiful Caspar Wijngaard’s art is.

| Published by Image

Animosity: Evolution #2 introduces a family of rodents to the community, who learn quickly that not everything may be as it seems and not everyone is looking out for their best interests. It’s a nice...ground-level way to introduce some of the inner workings of the refuge.

| Published by AfterShock

Betty & Veronica: Vixens #1 is a fun start to this new series where Betty and Veronica start a women’s biker gang. The art from Kim & Kim’s Eva Cabrera gives it that nice edge while still maintaining a style not too far removed from the old Dan Parent house style.

| Published by Archie Comics

DuckTales #3 gives us two more adventures of Scrooge McDuck, Della, and Donald penned by Joey Cavalieri. I can’t stress how much fun these stories have been so far, perfectly capturing the humour and adventure of the new television series. Great for both kids and adults.

| Published by IDW

Giant Days 2017 Holiday Special #1 sees the girls take a trip to London over Christmas break, staying with one of Esther’s high school friends who has a “real adult life”. It’s fun as they try to meddle with her love life, setting her up with whom they deem socially responsible among her three suitors. The artwork from Jenn St-Onge is very nice.

| Published by BOOM! Entertainment / Boom! Box

God Complex: Dogma #2 sets Seneca into looking directly for the One God at the behest of Apollo and the Rulers. How religion is being presented here as a mix of faith, knowledge, and science is interesting, I don’t know how much of this is inherent in the toys, but Paul Jenkins is weaving the story very well here. And again, the artwork from Hendry Prasetya and Jessica Kholinne is wonderful.

| Published by Image / Top Cow - Glitch

Made Men #3 continues Jutte’s tale of getting revenge for the assassination of herself and her squad, focusing this time on the police chief. I love the set up on keeping the chief otherwise occupied while the rest of the team is dumping his home for information.

| Published by Oni Press

Motor Girl #10 is about what you’d expect for a conclusion to a series about a war vet who has an imaginary talking gorilla as a friend and is on the cusp of witnessing an alien invasion. Terry Moore has told an interesting and entertaining story here and I’m kind of sad to see it end.

| Published by Abstract Studio

Optimus Prime #13 takes us back into the land of deeply interwoven Transformers continuity, pulling together threads from the Dinobots conflict with Bludgeon, Sixshot’s rampage across the galaxy, the ramifications of Jhiaxus’ experiments, and the recent First Strike events.

| Published by IDW

Punisher: Platoon #3 gives Goran Parlov an opportunity to show you how powerful a stare can be.

| Published by Marvel / MAX

Redneck #7 kicks off a new arc with the family laying low following the destruction at Sulphur Springs. As they hide out, Landry gets an education on the “vampire rules” from Bartlett. It’s again interesting how seemingly effortlessly Donny Cates can weave together down home Texan family life and vampire mythos. It makes being a vampire seem almost quaint.

| Published by Image / Skybound

The Shadow #4 reveals what Luisa has been up to, as the Shadow himself comes to grips with his actions having become the inspiration for others. It’s an interesting way to deal with legacy and the impact that his vigilantism has had on society.

| Published by Dynamite

Sherlock Frankenstein and the Legion of Evil #2 again spotlights why David Rubín should be a household name. His designs and art are just incredible. This issue focuses on Cthu-Lou, a small time crook with an octopus head that just wanted to be an ordinary plumber.

| Published by Dark Horse

Star Wars #39 continues to fold Rogue One into the broader Rebellion-era, while also showing to Luke the coal face of war and its cost in a way that a scruffy moisture farmer from Tatooine wouldn’t have understood before.

| Published by Marvel

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Universe #16 begins a new Ticeraton story as the main feature, giving readers a bit of backstory on their history in Dimension X under the heel of the Utroms. There’s also a cute back up of the “Triceratots” training from Erika Anderson and Michael Dialynas. It’s really nice to see Dialynas back doing some Turtles work.

| Published by IDW

Underwinter: A Field of Feathers #2 is a little more straightforward than the first issue, giving a more concrete explanation as to what’s going on, even as we’re still treated to impressionist art and somewhat abstract poetry. This is some really great stuff.

| Published by Image

Void Trip #1 is basically the Zaks and Edsel bits from Heavy Metal’s “So Beautiful and So Dangerous” mixed with Cheech & Chong. It’s rather humorous as Ana attempts to justify her hippie lifestyle as she and Gabe search for Euphoria. The artwork from Plaid Klaus is amazing.

| Published by Image

X-O Manowar #9 shows Aric that liberating a planet and achieving victory isn’t as easy as just one battle and the death of an emperor. Clayton Crain’s art again is more than worth the price of admission alone.

| Published by Valiant

Other Highlights: All New Wolverine #27, Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #13, Bankshot #4, Big Trouble in Little China: Old Man Jack #4, Black Panther #167, Cable #151, Captain Marvel #126, Clue #6, Dept. H #20, Doomsters Monolithic Pocket Alphabet, Eleanor & The Egret #5, Elephantmen #79, Forlorn Funnies #1, Gasolina #3, Genius: Cartel #4, Ghost Station Zero #4, Glitterbomb: The Fame Game #3, The Hard Place #4, Invader Zim #25, Invincible Iron Man #594, James Bond: Solstice, Luke Cage #167, Jimmy’s Bastards #5, Lumberjanes #44, Maxwell’s Demons #1, Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers #21, Monsters Unleashed #8, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur #26, Riverdale #8, Royals #11, Saucer State #5, Silver Sable & The Wild Pack #36, Spider-Man vs. Deadpool #24, Thanos #13, TMNT/Ghostbusters 2 #4, Tomb Raider: Survivor’s Crusade #1, Turok #4, The Unsound #6, Warframe #2, Wayward #25, Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse - Mr. Wormwood Goes to Washington #3

Recommended Collections: All-New Guardians of the Galaxy - Volume 1: Communication Breakdown, Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again, Doctor Strange & The Sorcerers Supreme - Volume 2: Time After Time, Eternal Empire - Volume 1, I Am Groot, Nick Fury: Deep Cover Capers, Star Wars: Darth Vader - Volume 1: Imperial March, Ultimates 2 - Volume 2: Eternity War, Winnebago Graveyard, X-Men Blue - Volume 2

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

Accidentally deleted a fic I have been working on for two months, so if anyone wants to help me stave off a mental breakdown tonight feel free to send in blurb prompts and maybe I'll get to them

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

a/n if anybody actually reads this dm me so i can set our wedding date

It was that awful time in Long Island in late fall where your sweaters suddenly became too thin for the frigid air, and you would quickly overheat the minute you put on a proper jacket. You could feel yourself getting snippier with people, like when your friend in your community choir asked how you were doing and you snapped out "I can't fucking do this right now." You were well aware you were being a bit cunty, but your cheeks were stinging and your hands were going numb.

Jimmy Bartlett conveniently chose this time of year to come home, something that was just so like him that you almost couldn't bring yourself to be annoyed at it. You were annoyed, but you almost weren't. You were annoyed with his stupid face and that dumb grin he always had on or the cigarettes seemingly always lodged between his idiot lips. Fuck him, you thought, I can't fucking do this right now. That was the only thought you could parse out as you lied face down on his childhood bed.

“I need a five letter word for a kind of bond in chemistry.”

“You do crosswords now?”

He nudged your leg with his foot and you pressed your face deeper into his pillow.

“Yeah, the army likes people who can spit out useless trivia at a moment’s notice.”

You hummed softly, staring intently at his Patton poster on the opposite wall. "It's 'ionic.'"

"See, was that so hard?"

"Y'know, most people would say 'thank you.'" Jimmy reached over and gently fiddled with a stray bit of hair that had fallen in your face. He swished over your nose before tucking it behind your ear.

"You warming up?" He brought his hand up to feel your cheek. Grumbling, you rolled over onto your back. His mother had caught you as you were walking up the driveway and, in an effort to be polite with the woman whose house you have been visiting for upwards of a decade, you had let her grill you about your life, your job, your siblings, and so on until you felt like the chill would never leave your bones, no matter how warm Jimmy's room was. Your face burned against his knuckles, and as if you couldn't be any more of a cliche, you shivered in spite of the warmness you felt behind your cheeks. This is so pathetic, you thought ruefully. You and Jim sat firmly in the 'too close to be friends' category of relationships, so it wasn't like he's never touched you like this before. Sure, to the general public you were childhood best friends, but they didn't have to know that when you both got tipsy you had a tendency to get a little handsy with each other, or that one night you two had hooked up in the confessional at his church (not that you particularly cared about being sacrilegious).

He let out a hyena laugh. "Guess not."

"Fuck you." You scrubbed your hand over your face. Still chilly.

"I'm gonna get a house with a wood stove," he returned to his crossword, "Y'know, when my tours are up and my bones are too fucking brittle for service."

You rolled over until your cheek was resting on his shoulder. "4 down is 'aloof'"

He penciled it in. "You'll be there, too."

"Will I, now?"

"Mhm."

"As what, your nurse?" You poked at his side. "Thinking of getting yourself blown up overseas just to keep me around?"

"Nah, I'm thinking of hauling you up to the alter myself. Forcing you to marry me." He didn't notice the way you tensed, too busy leaning down to kiss your neck. You knew he was just messing around, but your brain was too busy sending you flashes of you and Jimmy and the phrase 'domestic bliss.' It was all too fucking much. "Get you out of seven nights a week of your mother's fucking green bean casserole."

"I don't live with my mother." That gave him pause. "I'm an adult, I have a normal apartment where I live a normal life." The fucker bit into your neck, lightly but still. "You're gone for most of the year, and my world doesn't revolve around you and your shitty marriage proposals."

"It should."

"Fuck you." You shrugged him out of where he had burrowed into the crook of your neck. "One of us has got to fucking grow up sometime."

"I thought you liked me because of the, I don't know, fucking whimsy I bring into your life." You snorted. "I know you're an adult. Fuck it, you've been more adult than my fucking parents have been lately."

"If you're gonna get Oedipal with me I will fucking leave."

"No- fuck, that's not what I meant." He sat up, facing you. "I don't want to marry you."

"Good."

"I just... there's shit going on with my parents that is fucking me up, and I don't want you worrying about it because you're a fucking adult and I know you've got your own shit to deal with, and my brother is going through shit that's adding onto my pile of shit and-," he paused to rub the frustration out of the corner of his eye. "You know this."

"Of course I do."

"Of course you do." He huffed out a long sigh, as if he hadn't had the chance to breath for the past few minutes.

"Listen," you started, reaching out to brush your fingers along his forearm, "I'm not interested in... contorting myself into whatever I think you want me to be at the drop of a hat. I love you, but I can't do that anymore."

"I don't want you to." He took your hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb up and down the meat of your palm.

"I know. I just..." You paused. "For the longest time, it was you and me. That was a while ago, it's not like that anymore, I get it. That period of our lives ended after high school, and I don't blame you for enlisting, I'm so proud of you. But whatever we had back then, it's different now. You're not here most of the time, and I've got a job and hobbies and bills and problems that I deal with when you're not around. So, whatever we are... I'm okay with keeping it as it is. But if there's going to be anything more..."

Jimmy moved his head down to catch your eyes, not letting go of your hands. "More?"

Did you want more? You hadn't really considered it before. 'More' had always been holding hands while he shopped for Christmas presents, the way his hands shook when you drunkenly kissed him for the first time, the heavy breathing coming from the both of you during late nights that would swiftly be swept under the rug the next morning. Were you even allowed to ask for more than that? Jimmy had a way of making you feel greedy, downright gluttonous.

"I have to go to work." You slid your hands out of his firm grip, ignoring the pang you felt in your chest.

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight."

"I'm working a double."

"Breakfast tomorrow, then." You moved around the room, collecting your things, saying nothing. "You're right, things are different. You're always fucking right." You put your water bottle in your tote bag. "I want to see you tomorrow." You checked to make sure your keys were still in your bag's inside pocket. "I want you to want to see me."

You sighed. With your bag under your arm, you marched the couple yards of distance between you and Jimmy, grasping him by the sides of his face and mashing your lips onto his. He responded in kind, one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your neck, not enough to keep you in place but enough to remind you that he was there. He let you go when you pulled back.

"Breakfast."

"Uh huh."

"Tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"You're picking me up, and don't you dare be late."

"Yes ma'am."

You turned out of his room, slipping on your gloves. "We'll figure this out."

"Don't freeze!"