#such a long ramble and honestly really specific towards me but i really want to share my gender joys with the world 😭😭😭😭

[cacaocheri]

not to be CORNY on main but ever since I came out as agender I've been getting way more funky with my gender and it's soooo fun. today I was discussing a group cosplay with friends and we were assigning characters to each other and while we were talking it suddenly dawned on me that I could cosplay a guy. and this is probably the most basic level realization EVER but it really did open my eyes like omg I don't have to be confined to characters who are the "same" gender as me. I can branch out. and then immediately after I played a visual novel with friends that let you RANDOMIZE THE PRONOUNS. like you could select multiple pronouns then select how frequently they show up and how often to switch them. and maaaan that was so nice especially because I am experimenting with pronouns a liiiittle bit but not in a way where I want to be very public about it or ask people to start using different pronouns, more so if a random person used he/him pronouns for me that would be nice. or like if they dropped he/him every now and then in conversation. so I was living out my ideal pronoun fantasy through this game it was incredible

[ofbatsandballads]

turn me into something tragic

jason todd x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: slight suggestive thoughts from reader, brief mentions of Jason being hurt

a/n: been listening to the secret of us by gracie abrams and “let it happen” just feels so much like what falling in love with jay would be like. so here’s a song fic!

divider credit: saradika-graphics

You’re in deep. You wish you weren’t because this whole longing thing sucks. But you’re here now—so it goes, you guess. It’s not like you have any other options. You can’t just quit your job at the Robbinsville Public Library because there’s a very handsome man that always shows up from one to four in the afternoon. You can’t uproot your life and your ability to pay rent because he smiles at you whenever he returns his books, because his voice makes your chest feel warm when he asks if you can put a copy of Emma on hold for him.

No. You just need to suck it up and stop thinking about Jason fucking Todd.

A remarkably hard task, honestly. Especially when he shows up at one o’clock on the dot as always. The weather’s pouring rain today, a clockwork symptom of Gotham winters. You watch as he diligently drags his boots along the entry rugs, careful to not track water on the hardwood floors of the library. It’s sweet. He’s sweet—no. You don’t need to be thinking anything about him.

He walks up to your circulation desk, unzips his black leather jacket and places the books he’d been keeping safe from the rain on the old oak. He always returns them early. He must be a particularly voracious reader. It’s a trait you find ridiculously attractive. He reads all these classic romances, so he must have a good appreciation of longing and devotion and soul crushing love and what would it be like to be loved by a man like that—God, you need to stop.

“Hi Jason,” you greet him cheerfully.

“Hi,” he says quietly.

His voice is so pretty. It’s deep but not rough, and he’s got that lilt that all born and bred Gothamites have. He’s so soft spoken, whether by choice or nature, you don’t know. But it’s a beautiful combination, his tone and inflection. You could listen to him talk all day. You do listen to him talk for at least 30 minutes of each day you work.

“Your hair looks nice.”

It’s sheepish and it’s nearly a whisper, but it’s got your heart racing nonetheless. You’d cut your hair over the weekend, wanting a change. And if you’d hastily curled it this morning before work in a vain attempt to make it look extra pretty, then that was for you to know.

“Thank you,” you say, face growing warm, “Oh, your copy of Emma just came in!”

You reach into the cubby under your desk where you’d specifically placed the book once it was returned by a guy named Dick. You had asked how he liked it and he’d just said he didn’t get why his brother enjoyed these things so much. You didn’t talk to him much after that.

“Took ‘em long enough,” Jason mutters, shaking his head and causing little droplets of water to fall from his damp curls.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Most times people don’t wait over a month, but I got the sense that the guy didn’t really like it. Probably DNF’ed it,” you ramble as you push the book towards him.

Jason rolls his eyes.

“Some people have no taste,” he grumbles.

“Your taste is incredible.”

You don’t realize how horrible that double entendre is until you see the bright red of Jason’s cheeks. Oh, God, your inside thoughts are becoming outside thoughts. You really, really need to reel yourself in.

“I mean–I just meant–obviously books. Your taste in books. I have no idea about your taste otherwise.”

Yeah, that didn’t help. You want to crawl under your desk and die. Maybe the little old lady who works the morning shift will find your corpse when she clocks in.

“I–um–thank you?” Jason says, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

He looks pretty when he’s flustered. You wonder just how pretty he’d look if he was under you all flustered like that. Jesus Christ, you want to gag your own inner monologue. You take one steadying deep breath.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a day,” it hasn’t, but he doesn’t know that, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

He pauses, shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He looks to be contemplating something of extreme importance. Then a resigned look crosses his face and his shoulders drop as he lets out a deep sigh.

“No, nothin’ yet. ‘M just gonna browse.”

And with that he’s off into the stacks. Once he’s out of your sight, you drop your burning face into your hands and groan. Humiliating. You’re so embarrassed that you’re jittery. You toss Jason’s books into the cart of returns and decide to make your way through the library returning them. The work distracts you from your own social suicide, as do the headphones you’ve pulled over your head.

You’re wandering along, head bobbing to the playlist you’ve entitled “book return bops”, when you encounter the source of your sudden emotional instability reading peacefully on the ground. He doesn’t notice or acknowledge you at first. It gives you time to admire him.

He truly is pretty. The cloudy light from the window throws shadows on his face, accentuating the sharpness of his cheekbones, his jaw, his nose. He’s like an old Roman statue. A beautiful man that reads, is kind, and is built like a brick house. You’re doomed.

You wheel your squeaky cart into the aisle and start placing the books back in their rightful homes. Jason looks up at you, a soft smile blooming on his face as he watches you work. Little do you know that he stares at you the same way you stare at him.

You glance over at him and see that he’s reading Frankenstein. You drag your headphones to hang around your neck and interrupt the peaceful quiet that’s settled between you.

“I need to know what you think of that book,” you demand.

Jason raises an eyebrow, gaze roaming from you to the book in his hands and back.

“It’s one of the best novels ever written. And one of the most widely misinterpreted by modern media. It’s a little infuriating, actually, just how much every adaptation misses the point.”

You’re in love with him. End of discussion.

“Thank you!” you exclaim. “First of all, the Creature isn’t green and bolted! Second, he’s not the fucking villain! Victor is! How do you create something, knowing every step of the way what you’ve made, then abandon it altogether once you’ve given it life. It’s bullshit. He’s neglectful and obtuse and utterly unaccountable.”

You continue to rant about Frankenstein for a good ten minutes, allowing Jason to make annotations to your verbal essay. In your literary fire, you completely miss the stars that are dancing in the eyes of the pretty boy sitting on the floor. If you did see them, maybe you’d realize that you’re not the only one with increasingly absurd inside thoughts.

“Anyways,” you sigh, “you’re the only person I’ve ever spoken to who gets it. So thank you.”

“No problem. You’re the only person I can talk to about it,” he says, voice going quiet at the last part.

You cock your head and raise an eyebrow in question.

“Well, my best friend isn’t much for reading. He prefers building weird shit. And my…dad,” he chokes the word out like it’s poison, “he just reads fuckin’ history books. Not even the good ones. He reads stuff like the history of semiconductors.”

You laugh so loud that it echoes. You slap your hand over your mouth, suddenly conscious of where you work. You’re still giggling as you sit down next to him. You look over and feel any of the air you’d regained leave your lungs. He’s smiling at you, bigger and brighter than he ever has before. And the way he’s looking at you…it’s not at all dissimilar to the way you look at him. Maybe you don’t have to stop thinking about him after all. You steel your nerves and dig your fingers into the shelf behind you.

“Well, maybe I could get your number so we can book club it sometime. Just so you don’t have to talk about semiconductors,” you joke, nerves coming through in the slight shake of your voice.

His smile grows even bigger.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he says as he hands over his phone to you.

As you punch in the numbers, you swear that you can see how it’ll all unfold. You don’t love him yet, but you will. One day you’ll love him so much you don’t know how it stays contained in your body. You’ll discover that he loves chocolate chip cookies and you’ll learn how to make them for him. You’ll learn he’s ticklish right under his ribs, that the muscle that joins his neck and shoulder is extremely sensitive to kisses.

You’ll have bitter arguments when he comes to pick you up for a date with a black eye or a busted lip or a bum shoulder. You’ll have a vicious screaming match where he finally tells you what he does at night. He’ll vanish for a week, then come back to find you curled up in a ball on your couch. He’ll never vanish again, he’ll make a home with you. You’ll worry every night he leaves your side. You’ll rejoice with every sunrise you watch together on your fire escape.

Jason Todd will turn you into something tragic, into a love-struck, devoted, messy version of yourself that you didn’t know existed before he walked into your life. And, just for him, you’ll let it happen.

[lemonlimestar]

I love love LOVE your art style -- it's so chunky and fun and lowkey reminiscent of woodcuts almost? Plus the amount of thought you put into your Anita costume redesign was just 🙌 so cool to read -- it really makes me wanna ask though: do you have any thoughts on Cassie's design (either current or previous)?

tysm :D <33 my anita costume is genuinely one of my favorites i’ve ever done so i’m glad to hear it :]

as for cassie’s designs, i’m not the biggest fan of her current one. under the cut bc i got kinda rambly

it reads very bland to me i guess, especially compared to the other amazons. the gwen-stacy-esque haircut is not doing it for me (and honestly worked better with her late yj98 & yj19 costumes, even if i still didn’t necessarily enjoy it in those either). i believe i saw someone say that she just looks too childish? which rings true for all of the core four rn to be honest. i’m also sad they scrapped her most recognizable color palette (red, gold, black, and white) that matches her friends :( like the blue added in Could work (and has before) but it falls flat imo.

her yj98 costume works a bit better as far as not being bland, but the skirt is just kinda there. this is more of a personal grievance but i really hate when costumes just have skirts just to have them when the character wouldn’t do that? did the person who designed this even read ww87 #153 smh. same with the color palette but honestly i think the jacket works better here, and i’d like to see this flipped into a aviator jacket rather than the jean as a nice middle ground between this and her leather jacket.

tt03 is it’s own can of worms & where the barbie-fication of her design is made the most egregious. these are pretty ok to me though! i think the way she’s presented is more of the issue + the long hair.

this one is 0/10. so many notes. i swear it gets worse every time i see it. only comparable one is the awful skintight n52 suit but at least that one has potential to be made into something cool.

these are definitely my favorite cassie costumes :) i lean more toward the one on the left but i love the shirt on the right. i tend to pull the most inspiration from these two when i draw her.

lastly, i’m a sucker for baby cassie. look at her stupid wig. look at her shorts and her skater gear. u wanna love her.

my adult cassie design from a while back combines her older yj outfits with some armor from other amazons + artemis specifically if only bc i’m sad that their relationship got deleted out of existence. i pulled in a teal as a nod to her blue jeans + to compliment the deep reds and blacks :^) i just really want her in armor… she’s grown up! she can have more details in her costume!

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

got bored, nekoma ship wheel + sexuality hcs (explanations under cut along with empty templates in case anyone wants them)

FUKUTORA TIER

This is self-explainatory. They're basically 90% of my account. If you go to the fukutora tag its just me talking to myself because no one else has posted in it since 2022

LOVE

Kuroken - I have specific opinions on Kuroken because I'm a fan of unrequited Kenhina in highschool. Don't get me wrong, I still like how most of the fandom portrays them, but I much prefer them getting together after the timeskip when everyone's settled into their new jobs. I also really like it queerplatonic, as much or even more than romantic.

Inushiba- Idk man they're just silly, no deeper reasoning. Funny guys doing funny things with a cute height difference

LIKE

Kuroyaku/Levyaku - Honestly I like these two about equally, i think they're both shitpost-able and that's my top priority for a ship. My gf likes Levyaku so i lean towards them but i've seen some good Kuroyaku art too so i can be won over. I'm a firm believer that Kuroo and Yaku were each other's first kiss

Fukutoraken - I think Kenma being a serial third-wheel is infinitely funnier but i dont mind it, as long as fukutora aren't separated i'm chilling. Kenma getting dragged along despite not being part of the relationship is my ideal for them tho, also i think Kenma being Tora's unwilling wingman/the recipient of his sexuality crisis rambles is hillarious

Anything else i'm neutral on or haven't heard of

[exhaslo]

Um, hi, this is my first request, so I'm kind of nervous and will probably ramble. I wanted to ask if you could write a Miguel fic where he's the reader's best friend's older brother? Something like in the song 'Stacey's brother' by Mad Tsai, except that the main character is a girl. Er, so basically, reader has been bff's with Miguel's younger sibling for a long time and she and Miguel started developing feelings for each other over time and he wants to tell his sibling, but she's nervous and feels guilty. So then Miguel starts touching her and teasing her whenever she goes over, trying to get her to crack? And then a spicy hookup scene too? But more soft, like a childhood sweethearts kind of thing? Sorry it's so specific, I just want someone else to write it for me 😭. Okaythanksbye!

Awe! Don't be nervous and I love the idea!!! I'll keep it nice and sweet with a little bit of teasing here and there for you! But don't be afraid to make requests!! :D

Warning: Fluff really, teasing, touching, making out

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since kindergarten, you and Gabriel O'Hara had been best friends. The two of you were like peas in a pod and had to absolute everything together. From then until now, the two of you would always try to be in the same class.

Hell, not even the college life could separate the two of you. Both you and Gabriel had to get into the same college. Once you did, you decided to dorm together, at least you were until his big brother had something to say about it.

You had heard the stories of the big bad brood known as his brother. Miguel O'Hara. Every time you went over to his house, you never saw the man, until now that is. You wanted to find out why his big brother was holding you back from your best friend.

And lord was he your type.

"What gives dude?" You huffed, staring at the large man before you.

"(Y/N), Miguel is mad todaaaaay, he's gonna lecture you!" Gabriel cried out, crawling on the floor as if he was a survivor.

"It isn't like we're together or anything. You know your brother as well as I. He can barely touch himself out help." You said bluntly.

"Ouch, that hurt, (Y/N)."

"This isn't about that," Miguel said with a loud huff, "I just don't think the two of you fools will focus on your school work. You'd just play games all day instead of studying." He admitted.

God, he even sounded fine. You furrowed your brows as you tried to glare towards Miguel. He kept his stern look, towering over you. Whatever girl got with him was lucky indeed.

"Fair enough. Gabriel, why don't you commute from home since you live closer to the college. I'll dorm since my parents are moving out of the city. I can always come over and hang out."

"Here?" Miguel questioned. You glanced at his handsome face,

"Is there a problem?"

"No."

----------

There in fact was a problem. Gabriel was living with Miguel at the time. This was dangerous. Every time you came over, you could barely focus. Miguel was stealing your attention away from your best friend. He was just, oh so fine!

Honestly, you wanted to learn more about Miguel. Sometimes, you purposely went to the house when Gabriel was in class just to play dumb. Miguel offered to have you wait inside for him, but you always chickened out.

But not today.

You honestly thought Gabriel was home when you knocked on the door. The two of your shared a different class and had a project coming up. When Miguel answered the door, you felt your knees grow weak.

"He's at his club," Miguel said as he let you inside. You bit your lower lip, holding your bag tightly,

"Oh, I forgot that was today." You said, plopping yourself on the couch and getting your notes out, "I'll just wait here. We have a project to work on."

"Hm, I remember him saying something about that. What are you working on in the meantime?" Miguel asked as he leaned against the couch, his breathe tickling your ear.

"Biology." You did your best to avoid stuttering.

"Need some help?" Miguel asked as he sat beside you.

You could feel your heart racing as Miguel pressed up against you. His warmth engulfing your side. You were enjoying this. It was hard for you to pay attention as Miguel tutored you. All you could hear was the beating of your heart.

"(Y/N)?" Miguel whispered, his hand against your thigh, "You don't seem to be paying attention."

"Kind of hard, when I have such a good teacher," You muttered.

Miguel just chuckled in response as he stroked your thigh. You scooted closer to him, your hand against his. Your body was getting warmer as you got closer to Miguel. His face was inches away from yours.

"Fiiiiiinally! I thought I'd never be free!" Gabriel gasped, immediately making the two of you move away, "Hm? What are you guys doing?"

"Studying." The two of you said in unison.

----------

You kept going over to 'study' at Miguel's place. Each time, you and Miguel kept getting closer and closer. His hands were roaming a different part of your body while you tried to kiss him. Each time you tried to place your lips against his, something stopped you.

Not this time.

You were sitting beside Miguel, attempting to study. His hands were holding your waist, giving light squeezes every now and then. You were trembling under his touch. You bit your lower lip, leaning into his touch,

"Hey, Miguel," You whispered. Miguel stroked his hands against your back towards your inner thigh,

"Yes, (Y/N)?"

"I want to study something else," You whispered, slowly crawling onto his lap, "Do you think you can teach me this too?"

"I think I can,"

Miguel grinned as you finally kissed him. He hands rested against you waist, deepening the kiss. His tongue pushed itself into your mouth, exploring your wet cavern. You muffled into the kiss, wanting air, but Miguel was dominating you.

"Ugh, what a day," Gabriel sighed as he struggled to open the door.

You quickly rolled off of Miguel, squealing lowly as your skirt lifted up. Miguel resisted a chuckle as he fixed your skirt, his fingers gently grazing over your panties. You felt your heart race as you avoided Miguel's gaze.

"H-Hey, Gab! How was class?" You asked, leaning over the couch. Miguel glanced towards his brother, hiding the fact that his hand was now groping your ass,

"Any news on that test you took?"

"Uh, oh wow. What a beautiful day out. Hey, (Y/N), I just remembered that there is a party going on in the quad. Why don't we go check it out?"

"Sure!" You chirped, trying to ignore Miguel's touch, "Have fun at work, Miggy."

Miguel grunted lowly as he watched you leave with his brother. It felt unfair how he had to hide his relationship with you. You were his precious little girlfriend. You were only a couple years younger, but the fact that Miguel worked full time made his time with you so short. He needed more of you.

-----------

"He'll be fine, let's just tell him." Miguel whispered in your ear as he sucked against your neck. You mewled softly, squirming against his lap,

"B-But he is totally going to sing that deception song," You whined.

"He'll get over it."

"But, Miggy," You whined softly. Miguel hummed to your cries and proceeded to grope your body, "It isn't fun hiding our relationship from him."

"I think it is," Miguel huffed, then heard the door downstairs shut, "He's here. How would you like him to know?"

Miguel smirked as he pinned you against his bed, locking you down with his body. You whimpered, feeling his needy lust and your own. You reached up, kissing Miguel. Miguel held your head, making sure that you left his room exhausted.

"Hey, Migs. I'm going to head over to the library for a bit. If (Y/N) stops by, let her know for me, kay?" Gabriel yelled. Miguel raised a brow, breaking the kiss,

"Why don't you tell her?"

"Well, you're her boyfriend aren't you?" Gabriel yelled.

Both you and Miguel froze and immediately ran downstairs. Gabriel just had a grin on his face,

"C'mon, you're my best friend and he's my brother. I noticed long before you guys even kissed."

"But the song-"

"Sang it at karaoke with the boys," Gabriel laughed. Miguel glanced at your dumbfolded expression and chuckled, picking you up,

"(Y/N), Gabriel's going to be in the library. Guess this gives us more study time."

"Ew, no. I don't want to know!" Gabriel cried out as he ran off. You just laughed,

"Don't worry! You'll be my maid of honor!!!"

"Nooooooooooo!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha, hope you enjoyed!

[lil-tachyon]

Got any good resources for clothing drawing tips?

Okay so quick little introduction before I try to answer this question. First of all, sorry for letting this languish in the inbox for so long. I have a lot I want to say about this and I'd really like to make a proper "tutorial" but this week took a lot out of me so what you're going to get are some visual notes on graph paper and some rambling thoughts. Maybe down the line I'll try to flesh this out more into a proper guide, but for now it is what it is.

Second- for many different art concepts I can give you some really great recommended reading for self-teaching. There's a whole section of my website with links to things that helped me learn. Clothing is one of those things where I never found a book or tutorial that really "clicked" with me. It's one of the few areas of art where I feel like it's fair to say I'm genuinely self-taught. So what you're going to get here is very much my opinion, not undisputed common wisdom or whatever. Take it with a grain of salt. This is how I draw, not the "right way" to draw.

Third- drawing clothes is not something fundamental like perspective or rendering where there are actual hard-and-fast "rules" you can learn to guide you. It's not even like anatomy where there are approaches that have been worked out and passed down by artists over generations. I think about drawing clothing as a synthesis of several different skills- a little bit of anatomy, a little bit of perspective, a little bit of rendering. Honestly a smidge of graphic design. You're employing a "cloud" of your artistic skills towards a specific end. What this means is that the TLDR of this post is going to be "do what you would normally do to improve at drawing but apply it to clothing." So don't expect something life-changing, instead just open your mind to maybe trying some new things you hadn't thought of before. Also this is going to be more about drawing than painting, that is more about "lines" than "shapes" but the two skills overlap and the same concepts should be broadly applicable. But my examples are going to be drawings.

Okay intro out of the way. Clothes are mostly just tubes of fabric, fabric wants to fall down. The human body and sometimes wind and water and other fluids will stop this fabric from falling down all at once and instead give it a shape. Keep this in mind. It's helpful to know how clothes are actually constructed if you want to know how they will deform when falling across the figure. Where a garment is simply a length of fabric, it's very flexible. It can bunch together or be stretched taught. This is most noticeable at the parts of the body that open and shut like hinges- knees, elbows, and armpits. The behavior of garments at these areas of the body is highly dynamic.

At seams where different sections of fabric are stitched together, movement can be come more limited. Seams are usually imperfect- pieces of fabric of slightly different lengths might be stitched together or fabric may shrink over time around a thread causing it to pucker and wrinkle. For these reasons, seams often act as the originating areas for folds and wrinkles, even when a garment is not in a particularly flexed/active state.

In a two-dimensional image, it can be helpful to describe a garment in terms of silhouette and wrinkles/folds. The silhouette is the actual boundary of the garment, where the fabric comes to an end. The wrinkles/folds are where different parts of the garment pass in front of each other or where the fabric becomes bunched up to the point that light can't reach inside and occlusion shadows form. You should always keep the overall silhouette of the garment in mind to inform the bigger shapes you draw, but you will use wrinkles and folds to demonstrate how the garment twists and deforms. These are the basic tools in your arsenal. Keep it simple.

There are lots of different ways to approach wrinkles. My advice and my personal preference is to draw wrinkles as shapes and not just lines. Specifically, tapered shapes (like triangles) and be really good both for implying motion and the varying depth of a fold/wrinkle. Experiment with different shapes of varying angularity, fill texture, etc. Your hands and eyes will guide you towards what looks and feels good. There's no right way but I would advise you to exaggerate! Ask yourself- what's the biggest shape I can draw here? How can I twist it to make it bigger, crazier but still describe the form in a way that makes sense? It can be exhausting to just try to perfectly copy a reference and also using your imagination like this when doing studies will help build up your visual library for when you're drawing/designing clothing from imagination. In general I would advise you to focus more on drawing something that looks good (ie is composed of shapes that you find aesthetically pleasant) than is "correct."

Quick recap: Garments fall down, you can simplify an article of clothing into a silhouette described by folds and wrinkles. What next? Observe! Take notes! It is worth your time to think about how common articles of clothing are constructed. Jeans, t-shirts, dresses, etc. I used to do some hobbyist sewing and clothing alteration and I think that hands-on work with clothes has really affected the way I think about drawing them. You don't have to go that far but like- look at the world around you. Stuck on the bus, in school, in a meeting, etc? Even if you can't draw, look at how your pants bunch up around your legs, look at the sleeves of someone sitting next to you. I mean, don't be weird about it, but these are valuable observations. Think about how you would draw those things! Really getting good at drawing clothes involves studying them in the wild, understanding how they work, building up your visual library. Look at a faded denim jacket- at the puckered places where the indigo has rubbed away or the permanent creases that hardly see the light of day and remain a deeper blue. Look at petrochemical techwear outfits that break into jagged, high-sheen triangular wrinkles. Soak it all in!

Save pictures of and take notes on outfits you like, designers you like, garments you like. Keep track of these things. Come back and study them over time. Have fun with it! I have folders and folders and folders of images of clothes that I come back to constantly. Over time and with lots of study you'll learn what you want to draw when you draw clothes and that's half the battle. You'll have images of buttons, pockets, belts, laces, fabrics, seams, dancing around in your head that you can deploy at will. It's delightful.

Hope this helps! If anyone has more advice to add, please do! If this tutorial helped anyone, please show me your drawings! If you'd like more stuff like this from me, just send me an ask or an email and I'll answer it when I can.

Peace,

Logan

[rosurie]

rambling? a statement if you will ♡

I'm doing some redesigning. I briefly mentioned why in a reblog with the updated version of some designs but I wanted to just make a post to clarify [let me note that this was a post that was decided by both me and Dollya so please don't think I felt forced into it, it was actually something I had already planned on doing before speaking with Dollya]

but back to the redesigning! why am I redesigning? partially because I'm indecisive and mostly cause i realized that i was heavily referencing designs i liked and that didn't sit well with me. I'm specifically referring to Dollya's [ @dollya-robinprotector ] design for fem Robin and Fray's [ @fraternum-momentum ] design for Syd and old design for male Robin. not only did it make me feel gross once i actually sat with it but it's super disrespectful towards the artists, even if it wasn't my intention. you may notice that I've deleted some posts, for example my "welcome to dolville" post, and that's because I am currently redesigning. I'd rather not still have those old designs lingering around on my blog, not just for their sake as two artists I really love but also my own. these old drawings with these designs were always going to be taken down post my realization that I was basically just copying and pasting what I saw on my feed from these two onto my own designs.

I've actually spoken with both Dollya and Fray about this situation. we're okay now! though they'd both be perfectly in the right to be upset with me, they were both very calm and nice about the situation so I'd like to thank them [again lol. I just know y'all must be tired of me thanking you and saying sorry. also Fray, don't worry I'm not beating myself up over this ♡ but thank you for worrying. the posts were going to come down regardless lol] this is unfortunately probably not the first time I've done something like this, the only difference being that no one saw it before because it was artwork I never bothered posting and I ended up changing the designs again when I did start posting. it's not from a place of malice, honestly most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it for a bit, but it's still like shitty behavior. so I felt Fray and Dollya both deserved an apology. plus Dollya and I both thought a clarification was needed for people who follow me and for their sake [and for future reference because this sort of situation I'm sure isn't uncommon, in fact Dollya told me how common it was for her].

anywho thank you guys for reading and sorry for the long post but it was necessary ♡

tldr I took down some old posts because I was basically just copying designs and I hated it as well as the designers. and Dollya and Fray were both very understanding of my dumbassery ♡

edit note: I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to make excuses, because I'm not. I engaged in shitty behavior and I own that.

[dirthamen-enjoyer]

me just rambling about dragon age lore. spoilers for veilguard under the keep reading line.

i wish they had gone down the route of solas not telling the full truth of the evanuris. "they're tyrants and slave owners!" (paraphrase) but in actuality when they get released (ALL OF THEM BC I WANT TO SEE ALL OF THEM) it reveals that there are factions within. those who were actually awful tyrants, those who were lesser evils who never truly helped either side, those that were either secretly or openly helping solas in his rebellion. like imagine the idea of the evanuris that helped him willingly sacrificing themselves to create a stronger seal on the prison. or like the idea that they were genuinely betrayed and have a conflicting relationship with solas after being locked away for so long. i don't like that all the gods are just "tyrants and slave owners." give us variety. not everything should be so cut and dry. and yeah, i don't like that they're just all spirits :/ keep them mysterious immortal beings while solas is the spirit that is used and turned towards the conflict and war.

i also think taking the gods of a diaspora, especially one with clear influences, and making them all evil with no real moral ambiguity wasn't really the best way to go... i understand gods not being morally perfect because many gods within our religions aren't, but there are few that are just "evil" with nothing else to them.

i was going to talk about the reveal that elves are originally spirits that used the titans to become physical and the resulting war, but i got carried away and i think it might be it's own post lol. (it was more about the titans than elves)

i personally don't really like that idea that much because i don't think we need to be given explanations on how races are created. we don't fully know how dwarves came to be, only that dwarves lived with titans. we don't know the full story of qunari, we don't know the full story of humans. so why do we need to know the full story of elves?

i also don't like how the blight changed. i get why, because it can be used by ghilan'nain and elgar'nan, but it also just feels like a copout so they can use it more as a mechanic within the game. popping boils and making puzzles from the blight. taking away how it completely destroys land and taints every single being that comes into prolonged contact with it was not a good change in my opinion. the blight as it was and the taint adds pressure and consequences. they kind of did it with d'meta's crossing, but after that it "changed" more. show us ghouls, show us land actually dying. i loved walking around the western approach, seeing how the blight completely changed the land. i loved finding the silent plains concept art recently.

and to be honest, i don't know how i would have connected creation of the blight to a specific event so i'm not going to really talk about it.

oh and the old gods of tevinter. lame reveal that the dragons were just thralls of the evanuris. taking all these religions and connecting them to one group of people doesn't bring me joy. it makes the world smaller and it takes away the fun of fantasy. as an avid "let the gods being mysterious gods" person, i think the old gods of tevinter should be their own thing. have them be another enemy of the evanuris. you talked about multiple wars? there. another war. maybe it could even be the final wars that started while solas had his rebellion? and the forgotten ones are the old gods, locked away in the abyss (deep underground), while the evanuris are locked away in the sky (the black city / fade).

"how would the tevinter people worship them if they are locked away before humans are said to come to thedas?" easy. retcon. they already love doing that with little things. and honestly i feel like this would be a retcon that most people would not mind as much as other retcons. or, you know, expand on what yavana said in the silent grove about a time before the veil and high dragons in the sky.

was gonna say more but i don't know how to word it well so okie dokie i'm done rambling.

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[unformula1]

lost in your eyes (OP81 x LS2)

oscar stares into logan’s eyes (but in a cute fluffy way) w/c: 653 day 25 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium !!!!! (series masterlist) masterlist

Oscar would never admit that he liked staring into people’s eyes, specifically Logan’s. That was mostly because it was embarrassing and made him look weird, and the last thing he wanted was to lose a friend because of his weird obsession with eyes.

He sat close to Logan. Logan was doing some random media video so he was focused on whatever he had to do. This gave Oscar a rare opportunity to stare. 

He stared into Logan’s eyes. His stare was intense. That wasn’t Oscar’s fault, who asked Logan to have blue eyes, or green if he stared harder. Oscar loved it, he loved the blue-green eyes.

Oscar took a little too long to realise Logan had seen him staring blankly. By the time Oscar realised, Logan was pretty much 3 steps away from Oscar.

Oscar sat up straight, focusing up and clearing his throat as Logan approached him.

“Hi Osc.” Logan greets and Oscar waves.

“Hello.” Oscar says, “How’s your media going?”

“Alright, just finished up.” Logan smiles.

Oscar resists the urge to stare into Logan’s eyes, which look more blue when they’re in the sun. He doesn’t know why Logan wears caps so much, it casts a black shade onto his face and his eyes can’t be seen.

“Cool…” Oscar replies. 

“I saw you staring.” Logan chuckles.

“Me? Staring? NAH. NO WAY.” Oscar laughs awkwardly. He knows he’s messed up but he’s not going to risk it.

“Sure?” Logan raises his eyebrow.

“Yea- YEA I was… uhm staring at your little game. That’s right, the silly little game.” Oscar lets out awkward huffs of laughter.

“Right… It was pretty stupid, huh?” Logan adjusts his shirt and looks up.

Oscar can feel his legs grow weak as the sun rays shoot directly into Logan’s eyes and make his eyes glow some gorgeous looking blue colour.

Almost instantly, Logan covers his face with his hand to block the sunlight.

Logan groans, “This sun is going to get the better of me, I swear.”

“Really? I mean yea.” Oscar clears his throat to buy more time for himself, “It’s hot… huh? But I mean the sun’s got its bright sides too…” 

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Logan says as he shifts himself to be standing next to Oscar so the sun doesn’t blast directly into his eyes.

“Yes- wait, no. Was it? I don’t know.” Oscar sputters out in chunks of clearly unthought-through words.

“You’re talking funny Osc.” Logan chuckles.

Oscar turns his head slightly and looks at Logan again, but this time from a like a 3/4 profile. It was more beautiful than ever. Oscar couldn’t stop staring, his eyes were quite literally shining. 

Oscar feels like he’s on some ecstasy high.

“Osc. You’re staring… again.” Logan says.

Oscar doesn’t fully process Logan’s words and just nods, “Mhm…”

“That’s all you gotta say?” Logan chuckles slightly.

“Your eyes are pretty.” Oscar blurts out before slapping his mouth.

Shit. What did he just say?

Oscar panics, he isn’t supposed to tell anyone about this.

Logan raises an eyebrow.

“No- Not like in a weird way. It’s just- uhm… I don’t know, they’re glowing right? You get me!” Oscar rambles.

“No… not really.” Logan shakes his head, “But I get why you wanna stare.”

Logan shrugs, flashing a smirk toward Oscar.

Of course Logan had to make a sassy remark.

Oscar awkwardly laughs.

Logan turns his head to face Oscar. Their eyes meet.

For the first time, Oscar’s staring into Logan’s eyes without it being from afar with stolen glances or discreetly staring.

Logan smirks.

Oscar’s in heaven. He’s in paradise.

“Your eyes are gorgeous, you know?” Oscar says.

“I know. Yours are too.” Logan replies.

Oscar’s flattered, he looks down but doesn’t take long before he’s looking back into Logan’s eyes.

They stay like that for a while and honestly, Oscar doesn’t care.

Logan’s eyes are beautiful. They’re breath-taking, they’re stunning.

[crystillyzed]

at the rainbow's end // mysta rias

pairing: mysta rias x gn!reader

word count: 4.1k

genre: fluff, staff!reader, mutual pining, wingman elira

content warning(s): swearing, unedited

summary:

After nearly a year of hearing each other's voice, you finally meet him.

a/n: this was originally going to be released as my 100 follower celebration since i hit that a while back and to make up for the lack of event since i don’t have the time to host one. but with mysta’s graduation this past weekend, i didn’t want to keep this in my drafts since i’ve been working on this for like practically a year now.

this fox-dog man means so much to me, even though i can’t really catch his streams due to timezone differences, but he means So Much to me. i got back into writing because of luxiem, but he and shu were the ones who got me back into the swing of writing which is amazing bc i love writing. i just lost all the motivation to do so until i found them last year. even though he’s no longer in niji anymore or mysta anymore, i will keep writing for him. in fact, i actually have like 3 or so mysta works in the drafts lol

and speaking of writing, this is the first long fic i’ve written in 3-4 years. i’m considering crossposting this onto my ao3 as an alternative access to read longer fics bc ik how tumblr is poopy with loading long text posts. i’m a bit rusty when it comes to writing long fics, but i hope you’ll be able to enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this 🧡

links: luxiem m.l || main m.l || ao3 ver (if tumblr dies)

You twist your head from your phone back towards your monitor, displaying the Discord window showing your current private call with your blue dragon friend.

“Mysta’s WHAT?”

“Yeah, he’s coming along on the trip,” Elira laughed. “You didn’t know?”

“Apparent-ly! What the hell!! Luca, that motherfucker, I’m gonna beat his ass when I see him!”

She howls with laughter as you ramble on and on about how Luca told you everything about their planned trip but didn’t tell you about Mysta’s planned involvement. Once you’re done, she takes many deep breaths to calm down. “You should come with us! It’s gonna be fun. And, you’ll get to see him again.~”

You can’t really see each other’s faces, considering you’re both in a voice call. But god damn, you can hear the eyebrow wiggle in her teasing tone.

“I can’t,” you groaned, “I have finals when you’re there. As much as I wanna skip it, I really need to pass.”

“Damn, you can’t even get a referral from staff to get you here for a business meeting? Unlucky.”

“Can’t even do that anyway. I already told my professor that my trip’s been canceled, so now I have to take it.”

Though you’re not a liver for the company, you are, however, a staff member for the company. Specifically one of the staff in charge of promotions. Of course, you mainly focus on promoting EN and sometimes the other two now-merged branches. In fact, that’s how you got close to some of the livers.

As one of the staff promoters, you have to speak with the associated livers about PR stream offers and their convention appearance invites. Since you’ve been interacting with the livers the most, you’ve become friends with a few of them. Some namely Elira and Mysta.

Honestly, it’s not that you play favorites with the livers. You try your best to keep your relationships professional with them. But your bond with a specific fox-like man says otherwise.

You see, Mysta has been a joy to be around with. Although you haven’t met him in person yet, you have played some multiplayer games with him. Sometimes you check out the EN Minecraft server to see if the installed mods are working properly. Weirdly enough, almost every time you visit the server, Mysta is online. In fact, that’s how your not-so-business relationship started.

When you first entered the server, after double checking if no one was streaming at the scheduled hour, he was the first person you met. You thought you would run into Selen, Pomu, or perhaps Uki during your visit, but you were pleasantly surprised at his sudden appearance. Luckily, he was kind enough to show you around the server while teaching you some mods. With, of course, the trademark Mysta Rias experience packaged with sexual innuendos and teasing about. Well, except he didn’t go completely sexual considering it was your first time meeting him. He has some decency.

After that, you’ve run into him almost every time you visit the Minecraft server. Every visit eventually turned into hangouts, just you two (and sometimes another liver) chatting and building projects in-game. Soon enough, you and Mysta started to play other games together. You both played games such as Overwatch, Clubhouse, and sometimes League if you felt like torturing yourself for some reason.

Obviously, you had to keep the professionalism on both sides somehow. Your fellow staff members, especially some livers, noticed your close bond with the detective. So they usually send you to his DMs to discuss about any promotion offers involving him. Whenever you have your cameras on for a meeting, he somehow always flusters you with sudden flirtatious marks or something of the sort mid-conversation.

“Hello? Helloooooooo? Is someone there??”

Elira’s voice yoinks you out of your thoughts. Oh god, were you spacing out this entire time? How embarassing.

You clear your throat then respond as if you weren’t thinking of someone just now, “S-sorry, did you say something?”

“Oh my god. It’s that bad,” she mindlessly mutters.

Blink blink. “Huh?”

“Nothing,” she quickly retaliates. With a slight hum, she speaks again, “Since you’re gonna be stuck in hell… Want me to get you something? Like a souvenir or a limited edition thing? I literally have your address, man.”

Oh right, she does. Sometimes you and Elira send gifts to each other like figurines or plushies at random times.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks for the offer, man.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I’ll still probably send some pics buuut… Y’know… Just saying…”

There she goes again, doing that thing where she wiggles her eyebrows even though you can’t see her fucking face right now. Goddamn it, why did you tell her about your… thing with Mysta? You should’ve known that she’s NOT going to let it go.

You groan, “Just. Just surprise me.”

“That’s so vague! Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah? So? Surprise me.”

“Man… You have no idea how much power you just gave me.” She cackles for the next few seconds, making you start regretting your decision. “Okay, I’ll surprise you. Just don’t forget you asked me to, alright? And no complaining!”

“Okay, alright, fine! I won’t complain! Jeez… Now get to bed, nerd, you have a flight tomorrow.”

“Sheesh, what are you, my mom?” You both chuckle at her remark. “Okieee~ I’ll go pass out now, I guess. Good night!”

“Good night, Ewiwa. Have a safe trip.”

And you both leave call. Well, maybe you should get to sleep too. It’s getting super late, after all.

—

Mysta stares at Elira across the table in disbelief. “Finals? Of all times? Bruh…”

“Haha, yeah! Super uncool and lame and not something I have to worry about soon,” his penguin colleague beside him laughs with a dreadfully crazed look in her eyes. She anxiously reaches out for her soda and starts drinking rapidly.

“Wh— it’s not like I can control it or anything. Shit happens!”

“I know, it’s just…” he drawls off as his gaze lowers to the table. Admittedly, it’s difficult for him to hide his expression. So naturally, the two girls noticed his disappointment. Elira and Petra awkwardly look at each other, then to him, then back at each other.

“Hey, it’s okay, Mysta,” Petra says as she pats his back. “You can always see them next time! Like Nijifest!”

The dragon nods, “Yeah! Or you could see them the next time you take a break. Like going on another vacation or something.”

“If I have enough money for it,” he sighed. But he gives them a small smile to appreciate their attempts to soothe him.

Petra frowns. “If? Mysta, you’re literally one of the top livers in EN, like? Hello? Mr. One Million?”

“But I still don’t know when that’s gonna happen. Might as well be in a year or maybe like half a year or something.”

Elira’s eyes narrow. She quietly listens to their conversation, or bickering at this point, while taking some occasional sips of her drink.

For the past practically a year, Elira’s been one of the victims to both of your hopeless gushing.

She already knew about your friendship since you’ve talked a lot about it before. She knows the stupid hijinks and drunken confessions that you and Mysta told her about off stream. Her eyes closes as a confused thought crosses her mind, Seriously, how are you two not dating already?

Of course, she’s quite aware that the rest of Luxiem are both of your victims. Hell, when Elira’s alone with the other boys, it’s usually them talking about how astonishing that you and Mysta aren’t together. Sometimes, they make bets on who’s going to confess first. It’s obvious!

Even with the two going back and forth, practically becoming one with the background, she closes her eyes and hums in thought. Finals should be finished next week, she mused. Her visible eye opens as she takes a glance at the ashy haired male. But he’s been so busy lately that they haven’t spoken with each other…

The entire EN branch had a full schedule for the past few months. In fact, their schedule was so full that sometimes the livers couldn’t make their own streaming schedules nor stream in general. Mysta, of course, was no exception. As one of the most popular livers in EN, he’s one of the most busiest people she’s ever known. On top of that, you too have been busy recently too. You haven’t been able to hang out with him as of late despite being a staff member yourself. Life really likes to fuck anyone over, doesn’t it?

She could tell that you two haven’t been able to find the time to talk with each other. The staff picked up many projects that practically almost everyone is unavailable, and you were one of said unavailable members. The only times the livers could contact you was through Slack or by email for business inquiries. But things should be slightly slowing down, for now that is.

Although, it would be nice to have you two meet each other once at the same time, even if it’s a coincidental encounter.

Wait a minute…

A devious smirk lifts her lips, her eyes glinting with mischief in mind. She chuckles to herself as she entertains the thought. Hell, it even looks kinda creepy to the other patrons. ESPECIALLY to her coworkers who’s now staring at her with confusion and a hint of fear.

“…Elira? Are you okay?” Petra asked the dragon.

“Hm?” She blinks out of her thoughts as the penguin’s voice pulls her back into reality. Elira stares at her and Mysta, who also looks a bit dumbfounded, before grinning at them. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Just thought of something.”

Blink blink. “Like what?” Mysta asked this time.

Again, she lets out a chuckle and flicks her wrist to wave off the concern. “Like I said! Don’t worry about it! Y’all will see it eventually.”

Soon enough, the waitress arrives with their orders. Elira turns to face her and helps her with the food. On the other side of the table, the two livers tilt their heads in confusion and eventually give each other an unknowing look as the table is served.

—

You lie in bed snuggled underneath your covers, but the lights are still on as you scroll through Twitter on your phone.

It’s been about a couple weeks since your call with Elira. She’s been sending you updates, videos, and pictures of the group’s adventures in Japan. Sometimes, she’d call you before going to bed to tell you what happened during the trip in case it was a story she couldn’t explain over text. Of course, there were times when another liver like Reimu and Nina would join in the call and give you the tea. As much as you wished you wanted to be there while dying in exams, you felt warm as you saw the livers enjoying themselves on their vacation.

Then, you noticed how fast the month flew by. Eventually, it was time for the livers to fly home and say goodbye for a while. They all had different flights, obviously, but there was a specific person who didn’t leave the country yet.

You were looking on Twitter while watching the members’ story time streams on a pop-up viewer. Although, you didn’t see Mysta’s waiting room or tweet indicating his return to streaming yet.

Suddenly, you remembered why.

“He wants to stay back for a bit,” Elira answered over the sound of her packing. “Dunno why, but I don’t blame him. He was in Japan for work last time.”

That he was. Though disappointing it is that you can’t hang with him for a while longer, at least he’s having fun.

“Oh, remember the thing I asked you about?”

She asked you something? When?

“What thing?” You asked.

“Uh… The souvenir thing?”

Oh shit, you forgot about that. And apparently, she noticed your forgetfulness as indicated by her laughter.

“I got you something,” Elira continued, “but I’ll send it to you when I get back.”

“Why not now? You can just ask headquarters to send it to me.”

“It’s not something in a box though.”

You blinked in confusion, unanswering.

On the other end of the line, you heard her chuckle, “You’ll see.”

Your brief conversation did, in fact, make you scared. Although it’s Elira, your local dependable dragon, sometimes she can be as unpredictable as… well… the rest of Nijisanji. Not just EN, but Nijisanji in general. Remember that one time you watched her stream where she suddenly jumped into a hole in that Forest collab? Yeah…

Now, some time has passed since the trip and she’s been home for about almost a week. It’s something not in a box, right? So what’s taking her so long? Is it digital? Or did she fuck up somewhere with the delivery?

Currently, you’ve been juggling schoolwork, personal work, and work-work. Needless to say, it’s been a stressful time, especially around this type of year. Seriously, why is everyone so goddamn busy around this time? Idle thoughts aside, you’ve also been anxiously waiting for Elira’s souvenir. For the past week, you’d constantly check your phone and your PC for any email or DM from Slack and Discord with Elira’s name attached to it. Every time you get DM’ed or emailed, it’s always been another liver or staff member whose name doesn’t start with Elira and end with Pendora.

But hey, at least you got funny memes from Luca and Mysta in the mean time!

Honestly, at this point, you might as well just give up. Maybe she did run into issues, or she just forgot.

You let out a sigh as you refreshed your feed for the umpteenth time tonight, accompanied by the ghost’s voice eminating through your speakers. Yet suddenly, a notification banner from Discord slides down onto the screen.

Elira Pendora

SURPRISE!!!!

Oh.

Huh.

So she didn’t forget??

Confused yet astonished at the same time, you pull down your notifications bar and tap on the DM to see what she sent.

As the iconic Discord logo pops up on your screen, it eventually loads your conversation with Elira. When you look past your previous chat, a message larger than it should be fills about a third of your screen.

A plane ticket to London next week. Seat number and all. And most notably, it has your name.

…

“HUH?”

You frantically tap on the textbox and type.

You

GIRL

WHAGT THE FUCK IS THIS

Elira Pendora

your souvenir! ☺️

You

WDYM SOUVENIR THATS NOT EVEN RELATED TO JAPAN??? 😭😭😭😭

also

HOW DID YUO GET MY NUMBER??? AND MY EMAIL????? :monkas:

Elira Pendora

I had to pull a few strings with staff

just normal coworker things

You

:thonk:

“normal”

Elira Pendora

but like you should go!!!

I didn’t go through all that just for you to not see him

and you really needed a break so 😎

You

??????

but hes Still in japan?????

Elira Pendora

yeah but he’s flying back home next week

I asked him earlier and had to like try to figure out how to get you to meet him at the same time

or like

around the same time 😌

You

man idk if i should thank you or yell at you

Elira Pendora

LMAO EITHER WORKS IT’S OKAY MAN

better get ready!!!

You

wait what about the hotel

Elira Pendora

what hotel? ☺️

i’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting you stay for a few days tbh

and yes I will also pay for your return trip

You

BUT YOUR LEN FUNDS……

Elira Pendora

I KNOW 😭😭😭

but it’s worth it! go get your man bitch!!

but :thonk:

I think I’ll try to pass out now since I have something scheduled tomorrow soooo

GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

You

gn ewiwa :D

Well! Looks like you have a trip to prepare for.

—

The gray haired detective lounged comfortably in the AirBnB’s living room, resting on the sofa as he scrolled through Twitter. He let out a chuckle here and there, sometimes full on laughing whenever a funny meme popped up on his timeline.

“Meesta!” Elira called out to him from the kitchen island.

He turned around to look at the unusually giddy dragon. Confused, he asked, “What’s up?”

“When are you heading back?”

“Uh…” Pulling out his phone, he quickly went through his gallery to find a screenshot of his ticket. Once he found it, he examined the ticket for its boarding time and date then put it away. “In like a couple or so weeks. I thought I told you?”

“I don’t think you did,” she answered.

She motioned him to give her the device, or at least show her the screen. Of course, he complied. Though insane she is, he does have immense respect for her and Lazulight. Mysta stood up from his seat and approached her. Once in the kitchen area, he flipped his phone towards her, letting her singular visible eye take a peek.

Elira hummed as she inspected the ticket details then pulled back. “Cool. Thanks man!”

She walked away from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water upstairs leaving him even more confused.

It’s been three weeks since his unusual encounter with Elira. He sits idly at a bench by a luggage conveyor in the airport, waiting for his bags to unload from the plane. While waiting, he leans back into his seat and lets out an exhausted sigh. Luckily, no one is seated beside him, so he could just take up all the space on this uncomfortable bench. Still, he couldn’t help but reminisce onto their conversation.

Was she planning something? Was she just curious? What was she cooking?

Now, he’s back in the dreaded land of England, land of the beloathed. He pulls out his phone and immediately checks Discord. The EN server is lively as always, everyone’s practically home but the sense of energy radiates from the screen despite being digital. Like any other liver, he hops in the conversation a bit, sometimes memeing around with the others in the general channel.

Although, he noticed that your icon hasn’t appeared at least once since he landed. He was even paying attention to the top left corner of his screen for a red dot indicating your message. Normally, you’d send him a meme or something to see while he’s asleep or busy. But strangely enough, you haven’t yet. Maybe he should send you something? Or maybe call?

Mysta continues to catch up and reflect on the livers’ vacation in Japan on the server, his attention eventually caught by a familiar bag on the conveyor.

Welp. Looks like he’ll call you later.

—

Thank god Elira had the brain cells to make sure your flight isn’t after his own. Of course, she had to take in account about the flight times since you’re both literally across the globe from each other going to London. To avoid missing him right after landing, you were booked super early into the morning. But sometimes, there’s a possibility that you might be too early when he lands. And, unfortunately, that seems to be the case.

“He lands around midnight,” Elira told you on phone prior to checking in. “So you should be a biiiit early.”

Yeah, by like, 2 hours.

Man, what the hell are you supposed to do for two whole hours? Well, at least you have your phone AND your luggage. You could even people watch in the lobby. But that’s 2 hours!

What’s even more fucked up is that you can’t really use your phone unless you find the wifi. But airport wifi is kinda shitty, especially in England of all places. Talk about a British debuff.

You let out a heavy sigh and collapse into your seat. Napping is out of the question, even though you’re still kind of tired from the flight. Don’t wanna risk missing him by a smidgen, of course. So you ended up roaming around the airport for a while, getting yourself some drinks and snacks to keep you occupied while waiting for your friend. Luckily there were plenty of places to lounge while waiting, so you found a place to sit and enjoy your haul of snacks while waiting.

You did get to connect to the public wifi to look at some memes, but again, it’s the airport wifi. With how slow your phone’s been loading, you eventually disconnect yourself from the wifi after moments of mindless scrolling.

But then you realized something.

You have absolutely no idea what gate he’s in.

Panicked, you scramble to pick up your bags from your side and stand up. Shit, did Elira tell you what airline he took? God, having data in another country would be so helpful. There’s absolutely no way you’re gonna reconnect to the public wifi, it’s too damn slow! If you did have data, you’d look back to your DMs and scrub through your brief conversation from last night.

With a quick glance at your phone, the clock flashes briefly on the screen. 9:20pm, that means his flight’s arriving in less than an hour. Oh shit.

Immediately, you pace briskly throughout the terminals. As you scrounge through the crowds just to take a good look at the terminals, you ask staff for international flights from Japan along the way to help narrow down as much as possible. Throughout the search, you occasionally checked the clock on your phone. 9:40? Shit, his flight should be here now or soon.

“Mysta!” You suddenly shout, passerbys looking at you strangely as you start calling for his name. Your luggage rolls and bumps against the crevices of the floor, bags jostling as you promptly continue your search throughout the terminals. “Mysta Rias!”

Meanwhile, in the same area…

An ashy gray haired man stands in front of the carousel, waiting for the rest of his bags to drop onto the conveyor belt. He pulls out his phone from his pocket, taking a quick glance at his notifications and Discord. His mouth lowers into a frown, his brows furrowing in worry as he notices the lack of notifications from you. Did they really fall asleep?

Clink-clang!

Sunset kissed eyes shift towards the carousel at the sound. Spotting his luggage on the conveyor belt, he walks over to his revolving baggage and lifts them onto the ground. Maybe he’ll shoot you a dm later when he gets home. The handle on his large case clicks as he pulls it up, soon dragging it on its wheels behind him as he heads towards the direction of the exit.

You continue running and searching for him, frantically calling his name throughout the terminal. Your head turns left and right as you look into the surrounding late night crowd, your gaze briefly analyzing each arrival for any hint of his gray hair or his tallness. As you remain standing in the middle of the hall, looking for him, you see a tall man wearing small shades on the bridge of his nose. Gray side hairs framing his face sway into the air as he lugs his bags from the baggage claim and towards the nearest exit.

Without a second thought, your feet starts moving towards him. “Mysta—“ you call. “Mysta!”

After seconds and minutes of searching for him, calling his name and pushing through the crowd as you chase after him. Just a little more…!

“MYSTA!”

And finally… Finally, you see him.

With a clear shout of his name, the gray haired man halts.

Bewildered, he looks left and right until he turns around to see you panting. His heart stopped as he stares at you astonishly. The ambience of the crowd and muffled intercom speakers drowned out as he zoned onto you.

He looked at you.

The person standing just centimeters away from him.

The person who he thought was someone he’d never meet face to face ever.

The person who helped him find a reason to keep going even in the darkest of times.

It felt like hours just staring at each other. It didn’t even feel like there was an ocean of people swarming about and passing by. Without a second thought, Mysta slowly approaches you as if he were to scare you off. As if he didn’t want to wake up, if he is dreaming.

As he gets closer and closer, you didn’t make a move. No, you merely stared at him with wonder and excitement im your eyes.

You both stood across each other, only a few centimeters apart. He blinks several times, even pinching his wrists to disprove his thoughts. But he felt a stinging pain on each part.

An airy huff somewhat resembling a laugh escapes from him. Relief washes over him, and he whispers with a smile, “…Hi.”

You smile back.

“Hi.”

[trinketstar]

What is your oppion on ribbun?

OOOH that's Jax/Gangle right? Oh boy you probably aren't asking for this but I feel like doing a big ramble and this is gonna be a long one. CHARACTER ANALYSIS INCOMING!

I'll preface this by saying I don't usually get too invested in shipping. I really like drawing interesting character dynamics tho, so I'll play around with the ships I see without really sticking to one. It's why I tend to draw a LOT of different ships only a few times each.

I'll ALSO preface by saying I really uh. Don't like Jax very much lmao I'm sorry. I'm not opposed to jerk characters in general, but I just didn't think any of his lines were funny. BUT I think that comes down to the fact that we only have a pilot and haven't seen much of their personalities yet. My favorite jerk characters, (Osomatsu, Bender, etc) all balance out their jerkiness by being dorky insecure losers that almost never win in the end so you kinda feel bad for them. I think if Jax ends up being written that way I'll become endeared to him. And goose has revealed before that none of the others actually like Jax so I kinda want to see that.

On the other hand, Gangle is my favorite character. She has barely 2 minutes of screen time but I love her concept so much. A friend called me out for this recently lol but all my BIG FAVS are characters that are themed around strong divided emotions. Pretending they're happy even when they're not, and having a hard time controlling their emotions as a result. (The latest ENA episode was a great example of this. Anyway.) Gangle being a sensitive flimsy pile of ribbons with a literal mask for a face? The fact that the tragedy mask seems to be her REAL face, while the comedy mask is so fragile that breaks if you so much as breathe on it too hard? I find that COMPELLING I want to see a whole series about her honestly.

Pairing her with Jax was inevitable, as is any fandom ship where the characters hate each other in canon. I usually hate this kind of pairing but this time I found it kinda fascinating! I think it's cause we don't really know a whole lot about either one of them so there's a lot of room to explore their characters through it.

I really do feel like Jax could hold a specific resentment towards Gangle. He's obviously not handling being stuck in the circus well, and he's bullying easy targets. He plays dirty. A person with high self esteem doesn't do that. Maybe he takes it out on Gangle because he hates how open she is about her feelings. He's putting on a tough and uncaring front, trying to pretend nothing bothers him, and she's out here being sensitive and fragile? How dare she! He's pushing her to her limits and she still won't harden herself. She doesn't have the energy to! Maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve to defend herself. It's so unhealthy! It's horrible!... And uh, sometimes horrible things are fun to write! DON'T JUDGE ME.

(And just so nobody accuses me of being insensitive here, without revealing too much, I've been in Gangle's place before. That's all I'll say.)

So with relationship stuff oh boy. We can take all those toxic traits to their extremes. But who would be the instigator?

What if Gangle coped with Jax's bullying by becoming more clingy. Becoming used to it.. Seeking him out. After all, he's paying attention to her right? Her warped self image being depressed and isolated in this circus for years would drive her to wanting any kind of stimulation.. does she realize this is self harm? What's it going to take for someone to step in before it goes too far?

Or on the other hand, what if Jax's fixation on bullying Gangle got mixed up in some more complex feelings.. If he really wanted to, I can see him manipulating her into a relationship just to see how many boundaries he can cross. He could have her wrapped around his little finger. Literally. He DOES have some misplaced affection for her deep down. He won't let himself think about it long enough to understand it, he's acting on impulse. She's uncomfortable but thankful for the seemingly lessened cruelty, so she puts up with it. And sometimes, rarely, between the thinly veiled insults disguised as compliments, he says something truly genuine and vulnerable. She can see it. He needs help. He needs love. But they're both hurting each other even more. It's wrong, but they're stuck now.

And now.. for the drama. Nobody can be pushed that far before snapping. As is the usual trope with soft spoken pushover characters, Gangle is a ticking time bomb. And I don't think she'd be willing to abstract entirely because of Jax, at least without clawing her way down.

Here's a fun fact. Have you seen that walk cycle video? Jax is tall, sure, but Gangle is PRETTY DARN TALL TOO. and she slouches. With her ribbons stretched to their full length she would tower over everybody. I want to see her get angry and be SCARY. I want her to stand up to Jax and lash out and scream and see him Genuinely Terrified. Everyone else caught in the crossfire too, covered in ribbon slashes. It wouldn't last forever. If the tension doesn't cause her to abstract she'll calm down eventually, or someone will be forced to break her mask to snap her out of the tantrum. Jax would pretend it didn't shake him at all, but would be noticeably quiet afterwards. Kinda shifting uncomfortably, they both avoid eye contact for as long as possible. His teasing towards Gangle never goes beyond slight ribbing again.

Whew.

Ok uh if you read this far, I don't LIKE the ship but it's a great character exercise! Hah I've thought a lot about it clearly. That being said, i usually prefer sweet cuddly ships myself. I think my favorite is Gangle/Pomni. I haven't seen this one around much, but those two are my favorite characters in the show and I'd love to see them interact! I think they could help each other with their anxieties and it'd be really cute. I don't even necessarily need it to be romantic I just think they'd have a sweet little dynamic together.

Surprisingly I've seen Gangle shipped with Zooble the most even though they haven't talked at all either and Zooble has like.. 2 lines. It might be cute but I wanna know more about them first.

As for Gangle n Kinger, I prefer them to have more of a father daughter type dynamic.

[enkays-den]

I'm demi/aroace in a very similar way to how you wrote skizz and I don't think them ending up in a non platonic relationship would go against that honestly. Being aspec is a very individual thing that makes you examine relationships and split then apart from the general categories to the actual building blocks that make them up. And that gives you the opportunity to build totally custom relationships out of those blocks that fit you and the other person without being confined to that exact rulebook of a platonic or romantic or sexual relationship the way society generally understands them.

There's a world where impulse never confesses and they're just friends and he just kind of pines and learns to be okay with that.

There's a world where he confesses and is turned down and they talk it out and continue on being friends. This is possible. I've been on both sides of this interaction and it does colour the friendship you continue to have somewhat but having the knowledge of those emotions out there so both parties are aware without really changing the relationship much from before the confession can be a very nice resolution. You do get over it and the love just kind of is love in whatever way it's able to exist. Spending time with someone you love that cares for you and enjoys your company is often times much more valuable than anything that sets apart a romantic relationship.

And there is a world where he confesses and they do form a more romantic leaning more intimate relationship. Again, to me being aroace doesn't mean you can never have any form of relationship that isn't purely platonic. Its about taking apart what these concepts mean and looking at each aspect individually and then looking at the other person and deciding together what you want to be and how you want to act towards the other person. Do you like kisses? Do you like being called specific endearments? Do you like having sex? Do you like living together? Do you want to spend your lives together? Do you want to sleep in the same room? In the same bed?

And there is a spectrum in every aspect like this of not being able to tolerate something, being willing to tolerate it in small doses if absolutely necessary, being willing to tolerate it because it makes your parter happy and you don't mind it, not having an active desire for it but being happy to do it if someone else does, liking it a little, liking it a lot, not being able to imagine going without it.

And you can figure out where you lay on that spectrum of repulsion to desire for each of the endless aspects that make up a relationship. And you match that up with the other person and figure out compromises. You can have a very intimate relationship and still be very asexual and aromantic. It's all about what you like and don't like specifically and what you and your parter decide between yourselves.

Sorry for the long ramble but this concept of romance and romance adjacent relationships while being aroace is something that hits very close to home and something that I'm very passionate about. Asexuality and aromanticism are such an incredibly diverse spectrum of experiences. I can't wait to see where Skizz will land on it.

- 🐦‍⬛

totally agree on all those points, just hope that the audience receives it as well. I'm writing from my perspective as demi-aroace-ish

Won't elaborate further as that firmly counts as spoilerssss ;)

thank you for the long reply though, anon!

[alieinthemorning]

Pain, Pain Go Away [Getou Suguru | Gojo Satoru]

Content: Established Relationship, Polyamory, AFAB Reader, Menstrual Cycles, PMMD, No Curses AU, Self-Indulgent, POV Second Person, POV Alternating, Remix of a Previous Work, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None (AFAB)

Original: Old Pains, New Comforts

Header: @/nikki101pistar on Twitter

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries

Today, you found yourself waking up at the ass-crack of dawn, pulling yourself from your partners' embrace, scrambling around the room for two specific items, rushing into the cold bathroom, and quickly sitting on the toilet. 

You quietly groaned into your hands. 

Your underwear was soiled.

You really hoped you didn't bleed through to the sheets. You dreaded going back to check, not only because you were embarrassed, but because this was your first cycle since switching birth control while living with Satoru and Suguru.

However, despite your fears, you had to check the sheets. So, you quickly cleaned yourself and the soiled underwear (laying them on the side of the tub to dry), and took a deep breath before reentering the bedroom. 

The light was on, and the sheets were off. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach.

Satoru was standing by the bed, scrolling through his phone, and Suguru was nowhere to be found (you assumed that he was in the laundry room).  

"Are you okay?" Satoru softly asked as he approached you.  "Do you need anything?"

You took a step back, shaking your head that was tilted toward the ground. You didn't see the way that Satoru visibly flinched, lips tugging downward.

You wanted to run back into the bathroom, but it was your mess to clean (or finish cleaning, in this case). You turned to the dresser, pulling out a fresh pair of sheets (at least you didn't bleed through to the mattress).

Things were very awkward, even when Suguru returned (You pulled away from him when he tried to reach for you). You still weren't ready to breech the conversation just yet, so you grabbed your phone and charger and relocated to the living room.

Satoru furrowed his brows as he watched you leave. "...what was that about?"  

"First cycle on that new medication, and it's a bad one." Suguru sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We're—and by we're, I mean you, are going to have to be very patience for these next few days."  

Satoru just blinked at him, then shrugged. "Well, it's a good thing I took off today, then."  

"I wouldn't have—" Suguru sighed again, this time more deeply. "You know what. You're just gonna have to learn." Then he pulled back the duvet, "Come to bed."  

"What about Honey?"

"Darling will come back, when Darling wants to come back."

Satoru pouted, looking between the bed and the door. He knew that Suguru was insanely good at reading people, and could trust his judgement, but he also was worried about you and hated going to sleep without at least making sure you were okay before going to bed himself.

"Satoru."

That tone wasn't up for debate, so he begrudgingly joined Suguru in bed. It took him a long time to finally fall to sleep, unfortunately.  

He hoped you were doing okay.

You weren’t okay. The first cycle blurred into a continuous cycle of hell. 

You hadn’t stopped bleeding in five months. 

At some point, the bleeding had become manageable, annoying, but you could deal with it. That should have been fine, but you were on your cycle, which meant your whole body was affected. Your mood plummeted, your appetite fluctuated, you were constantly bloated and just overall felt absolutely terrible. But honestly? You could also deal with that, you’d just have to make more apologizes to your boys. 

What you weren’t prepared for, however, was the blood clots. 

It started one random afternoon, pain shot through your cervix, causing you to jump up from the couch. You knew it was a blood clot, so shifting your gravity should have helped, but it didn’t. The clot didn’t pass, and the pain didn’t stop. 

You were in pain for hours, running back and forth from the bathroom and living room. You thought sitting on the toilet would help the clot pass, it didn’t, so then you tried walking around, which helped, but it still took too long. Not only that, but you also were cramping and needed the heating pad, but couldn’t find a time to use it. So all you could do is cry and bleed, then bleed some more. 

And one day, that’s how Suguru and Satoru found you. Lying on the couch, crying your eyes out. They tried to talk to you, but the pain was too much, you couldn’t hear them over the immense pain that was pounding through your body.  

Suguru stood, running a hand through his hair. “Satoru, we’re going to have to go to the ER—stay here, I’ll pack a bag.” 

Once he was gone, Satoru turned his attention back to you, placing a hand on your knee. "Honey, how are you doing?"

Your face soured at his question, and you only shook your head in response.

“Pain scale—five through ten?”

But you just shook your head again.

Satoru frowned. “Too much pain to think clearly…” The frown deepened when you nodded. “Do you think you can stand on your own?” 

You shook your head. “H-hurts…passing too many blood clots?”

“What?” Suguru’s raised voice announced his presence as he quickly returned to their side. “You’ve been passing blood clots this whole time?”

You nodded, shying away from him. 

“I’m sorry, Darling. I shouldn’t be raising my voice at a time like this.” He then turned to Satoru, passing him the bag he packed. “Pull the car out onto the street, I’ll do the lifting.” 

The ride to the ER was quick, and with two big scary dogs that you called your partners glaring at the reception, you were able to get a room quickly. 

The problems arose when the nurse practitioner came in. She came in as if she knew exactly what you were going through, and as if you were exaggerating the pain you were going through. 

Which…maybe you were, maybe they were right, and you just needed to give the shot 9 months to work—

“So, you’re telling me that bleeding for five months straight and passing blood clots for three months straight every day is fine?” Suguru spoke up, tilting his head at the nurse. “Are you really telling me that we’re here for no reason?”

You tuned out, closing your eyes. You just wanted to go home.

With Satoru hounding the hospital, what would have taken around 6 hours was cut in half. The only procedures, they had you do was blood work and an ultrasound. They sent you home with oral birth control (telling you to stop getting the shots), and something for the cramps. 

“These instructions are for bomb defusal, I swear.” You frowned at the package as you read the instructions again. 

Satoru, who was leaning on you, read them aloud. “Take five tablets by mouth daily for one day, then four tablets daily for one day, then three tablets daily for one day, then two tablets daily for one day, then one tablet daily.” He chuckled, “what the fuck?”

“I’m desperate, what ever gets this shit to stop. 

He stopped himself from sighing, he was going to have to take what he could get.

And it did, within a day of going back to oral birth control, you finally stopped bleeding. 

And once again, did Suguru and Satoru find you crying in the living room.

“Are you still in pain?!”

You shook your head, a wet laugh slipping pass your lips.

“For the first time, in a long time, I’m not in pain.” 

Finally, you were back in control of yourself. No more afternoon pains, no more snapping at the people who were just worried about you. 

"I'm just so happy" You gasped, a hand flying to your mouth as you looked between the two of them. “Oh! I’m so sorry for how I’ve acted these past few months.”  

Satoru sighed, dropping to his knees beside you. “You don’t need to apologize for that.” 

You shook your head, patting his head that had found its way into your lap. "It's really not. I should've tried to talk with the two of you at least a little."

“Maybe,” Suguru began, sitting next to you. “But you had a lot going on for a long time, and you’ve already been gaslit by doctors before. You were trying to be stronger than you needed to.” 

You chuckled, head falling onto his shoulder. "I'm stupidly stubborn when it comes to my period. Get used to it." You gave them both a pat. “Now that that’s all settled, go get cleaned up so we can cuddle—Suguru!” You shoved him away, “Your outside clothes toughed my inside ones, ugh!”

Hello, yes, this version sure seems a bit more pointed, huh?

It's as if someone has been on the Depo shot for five months and has been bleeding nonstop and only after being disrespected at the ER were they able to get some actual fucking help to stop fucking bleeding

ding ding ding

Oh, hey! It was me!

Yeah, I've been in hell lol

Let me know if there's anything specific I need to tag since I gotta a wee bit graphic I think

9/8/24 Edit: So I’m scheduled for a hysterectomy in November!

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

[oreo102]

Please I'm so so curious to hear your thoughts on 10/14

Ok so my thoughts on 10 are less than 14 so let’s start with him lol. I have not watched 10, so my hatred of him is more hatred by proxy of how the fandom treats him and proxy of 14, but I still do have a few specific thoughts and this will be long and definitely rambly

A) when talking about him I usually refer to him as Fandom’s Favorite White Boy or Pathetic Wet Cat/Twink mostly because it’s funny but for now I’ll use 10. The most I know about 10 is that he is angsty and in love with rose and besties with Donna… also that he’s pathetic but that’s more vibes

So- my hate of 10 is less tangible than 14 but i still have a few points, the main one being the way i see ppl talk about how he treated Martha and how obsessed with rose he was. I don’t think it’s ever compelling to have someone’s main personality trait be loving someone a whole lot which also honestly is my problem with rose (don’t hate her but don’t care about her)

From what I have seen and heard of 10 it’s rather… boring, honestly? Like it’s mostly clips out of context but for 13 and 15 I saw clips out of context and was like “ok wth is happening? /pos” with 10 it’s more like “wtf?” Also pretty sure his episodes were some of the ones I saw when my parents had the show on that played a part in me swearing the show off so

Ok onto the more tangible hatred of 14. A lot of this, admittedly, is more about the writing and showrunner decisions than 14 but those things by proxy makes me hate him

So- I have a lot of feelings on him quite literally starting from his first appearance in power of the doctor. I am SO PETTY that he doesn’t wear 13’s silly little outfit. Like I have gone on full rants about that fact to my friends and family

I’ve seen something claim that rtd didn’t want 14 to wear her outfit because people might be transphobic and derogatory towards him (even tho Dhawan!master wore it, and it’s pretty gender neutral) but then did nothing about the shit ppl said about ruby’s actor or about ppl who would be a bitch about rose the second being nonbinary(also i remember seeing a post about their deadname being mentioned in an episode? Not totally sure that’s true tho)

The 60th anniversary specials themselves don’t really celebrate Dr who as a whole as much as 10’s run with a few old villains but that’s not really my main issue with that. My main issue with the specials is that the Doctor gets their happy ending. With Donna. And her family. When fucking 3-4 episodes prior, their happy ending would’ve been yaz. It would’ve been staying with yaz. But nope! Donna! Because that’s what 10 would’ve wanted.

And I don’t want 14 to be with yaz, btw, I mean I want them to meet and for yaz to hit him, but I don’t want them to be a thing or like be together because I believe yaz is a lesbian but that’s not the point of this so moving on

I also have very much big issues with the scene where 15 and 14 are (presumably, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full scene) talking about women they love and mention who I assume to be River and rose but not yaz, who again, they wanted to spend forever with 3-4 episodes prior. It makes the doctor seem like a douchebag even if it’s a writing issue and not a character issue

Also 14 being David tenant overshadows 13’s departure and 15’s arrival and since he is most likely going to show up at least a little bit in s14 he’ll overshadow 15 in his own series. It’s icky at the very least.

There’s something inherently bad about having the fandoms Favorite White Boy be with a contentious casting decision (because I have no faith in the Dr who fandom not to be bigoted) and even if no one has an issue with 15 being black and maybe gay (is he gay? He gives gay vibes) it’s still setting him up for failure by pairing him with 14

Also bigeneration is so fucking dumb and I hate it

Also also stop giving the Dr 19 year old companions it’s getting kinda weird now

[blackjackkent]

@trellanyx replied to this post:

Personally I like squid!Karlach while Rakha and Wyll go their separate ways. I think the most satisfying ending to Rakha’s arc IS her having to learn to find the peace and identity she seeks as herself, whereas her becoming an illitihid feels like… idk, the game giving her an out? It’d def change her personality, unless you wanna hc otherwise, and I like to think she takes Jaheira’s words of “no you gotta walk the same path as the rest of us and figure it out on your own” to heart. (1/2)

But by that same token, I don’t think going to Avernus would be good for her long term. I guess you could make a case for her continuing to follow both “kill with purpose” and the future she sees through Minsc of being able to turn madness and violence toward just ends. But idk, Rakha’s greatest desire, the core Need of her character, has been “peace”, and I feel like going to Avernus to further embrace violence and killing, even if it’s to nobler ends, wouldn’t make her happy. Maybe after she travels alone for a while and figures out who she is independent of Wyll or the beast, can she make the decision to go with a clearer and surer mind. But similar to the squid ending, I feel like her jumping into Avernus immediately post-game is kinda like a circumvention of what she actually needs. Like how one keeps themself busy with job after job because they don’t know how to handle themselves when they’re idle.

-----

Honestly, I've been starting to lean towards this take for a while but was having a terrible time articulating to myself WHY it seemed like the correct choice. And I love this writeup so much. (I know intellectually that people are reading the stuff I write, but when y'all toss it back to me over the net and draw in all the specific details I've put effort into, it makes me rather emotional. So thank you. <3 )

I think you're right that the way Rakha has evolved, particularly in Act 3, makes both the mind flayer and Avernus endings feel less satisfying than they might otherwise be. There are satisfying ELEMENTS - her self-sacrificing for a greater good, or being with the man she loves, etc. But it's not really a culmination of her overall arc which, yeah, is about her trying to find peace.

And the super-sappy romantic in me wants her and Wyll to have a happily ever after forever but the truth is I think ultimately her relationship with him falls into the same category as Jenna and Thane did way back in my Mass Effect days - I don't think it's a relationship that can last forever. They have been good for each other in this crisis period, supported each other, had each other's back, made each other better. Rakha absolutely would not have made it through the whole ordeal without him, and perhaps even vice-versa.

But she needs to learn to stand on her own feet and figure out who she is. And Wyll, frankly, deserves someone he doesn't have to be carrying all the time. One thing that has frustrated me in writing Rakha's story is that Wyll's particular character flaws (self-sacrificing levels of kindness, etc.) mean that he keeps getting subsumed in Rakha's issues.

Wyll is a good, complex dude in his own right and deserves more exploration than Rakha's story has always been able to focus on; I'll definitely have to find avenues to write more about him separately. (I definitely hope to have some story lines more dedicated to him in "Hellraisers.")

It's not exactly the romance that I wanted to write when I initially decided to do Wyllmance Durge - but Durge is a messy, grown-up story and I guess in some sense it makes sense that it would end up with a messy, grown-up ending as well.

Anyway, this got terribly rambly, but TLDR - I think I might be leaning towards this approach. As usual, nothing's set in stone until I actually walk Rakha through it, and she's been known to surprise me in the past. But yeah... very interesting thoughts here. :)