#succulent beef

[viapu-com]

Spice up your culinary skills! Succulent Secrets is ready to reveal the best beef shank recipe ever - expect flavors that will thrill your taste buds. Don't miss out! #BestBeefShankEver

[urfavisananimegirl]

The Junior Whopper (Burger King/Real Life) is an Anime Girl!

[buffetlicious]

Brough mum to the now defunct Common Chefs Bistro at Jalan Legundi, Sembawang for an early dinner. Ordered myself the Duro Pork Chop (S$18+) with two juicy and succulent slices of bone-in pork chop drizzled with balsamic vinegar infused sauce and a sprinkling of thymes. Served with two sides of fries and a helping of mixed vegetables salad.

Got mum the spicy Arrabbiata Minced Beef & Mushroom Spaghetti (S$12+). The pasta looks good to me with the sprinkled grated cheese and herbs but mum don’t appreciate the spiciness of the chilli padi (bird's eye chilli).

To finish off the meal, a slice of local flavoured Ondeh Ondeh Cake (S$7.50+). Three slices of pandan flavoured sponge cake sandwiching two layers of desiccated coconut cooked with gula melaka (palm sugar) and more grated coconut sprinkled on top and around. Although a likeable dessert but I still missed the traditional ondeh ondeh snack.

[shayetaintjohn]

can't stop thinking about it...my seed would end up in that chicken

[thelcsdaily]

Beef Salpicao

The ideal dish saving you time in the kitchen and enabling you to spend more time with your family. This delectable Filipino dish is called beef salpicao. Recognized for its succulent beef cubes cooked in a flavorful sauce with a lot of garlic. It is easy to make and can be eaten as a main course or as an appetizer. One of the greatest comfort dishes ever. Delightful with a bowl of white rice.

To me, food is as much about the moment, the occasion, the location and the company as it is about the taste.

- Heston Blumenthal

[rottenpumpkin13]

Lazard does a whole "undercover boss" thing and disguises himself as a third class SOLDIER, how's the experience?

Lazard spends two weeks as a newbie Third Class SOLDIER, and he's surprised by how many people genuinely fail to recognize him just because he wears a helmet. During this time, he discovers many things:

• He discovers that when he's not there, people flock to Sephiroth for guidance—not because Angeal isn't a natural leader, but because it took Sephiroth only ten hours of Lazard's absence to commandeer the director's office. Sephiroth claimed the better air conditioning and ergonomic chair as necessary for "optimal efficiency."

• Discovers that the break room houses an underground economy of energy drinks and instant noodles, complete with a detailed spreadsheet ranking flavors and their trade values. Lazard is relieved to discover this because, until then, he had assumed the clandestine trade-off he caught Genesis and Sephiroth conducting in the men's room was drugs.

• Witnesses Zack Fair maintaining a secret mini-garden of succulents behind the training room equipment. Apparently Aerith gifted him one (1) and it accidentally grew into more, resulting in Zack panic-gardening. *Zack sobbed when explaining this.

• Finds out Angeal has been secretly adopting every office plant that other SOLDIERs kill from neglect, nursing them back to health in his apartment. He has about 87 "rescued" plants. Lazard stepped into his apartment for a get-together and thought he was in the jungle.

• Learns that the reason Cloud Strife regularly sneaks onto the SOLDIER floor without a problem is because the entire security team finds him "endearing and adorable."

• Discovers there's an ongoing betting pool about whether Sephiroth and Angeal are having an affair. What's more shocking is that Genesis is the organizer.

• Kunsel has eyes and ears everywhere.

• Realizes SOLDIER has a secret group chat where they warn each other about disciplinary sweeps, nosy Turks, surprise inspections from Shinra execs, and "Hojo sightings" in real-time. Sephiroth responds to each Hojo sighting with "👍"

• Finds out the juniors have code words for when the Firsts are approaching: "The entity" for Sephiroth, "Beef" for Angeal, and "caw caw caw" for Genesis.

• Learns that someone (Genesis) has mapped out all the security camera blind spots and sells the information for materia.

Lazard, removing his disguise in front of Sephiroth: You won't BELIEVE what I discovered this week while I was under disguise.

Sephiroth: Oh, you found out about the kangaroo Zack got for the program as a mascot that we keep it in the storeroom and has been teaching us to box.

Lazard: The WHAT?

Sephiroth: You're hearing things.

Lazard:

[is-this-fascism]

i dont even LIKE chicken that much which is why it's so embarassing that i can cook with it better than most people whose chicken i've eaten.

it's a tale as old as time. your mom is making chicken tonight. maybe it's chicken parm. maybe it's chicken and dumplings. maybe she's getting cultured and making arroz con pollo. usually though, it's the blandest, driest chicken breast. you need a hacksaw to get through it and the dry seasoning rub sandpapers the roof of your mouth. how does she keep fucking up the chicken this bad?

so here's the thing: FDA guidelines about safe temperatures for meat are idiot-proof. if you are NOT an idiot you don't have to hypernukeblast all the flavor and texture out of your meat anymore.

watch this minutefood video for a great rundown of the numbers. i don't personally temp my meat, but i reccomend you do, and experiment like she has in the video until you're comfortable doing it by vibes.

LEARN TO COOK STIR FRY! this will teach you everything you need to know to cook chicken well, and it's two simple things:

1. chop it into little pieces

2. marinate it in liquid seasoning

the first tip is somewhat optional, as it's perfectly possible to cook a juicy full chicken breast safely, but you're always going to run the risk of overcooking it in an effort to get the center to a safe temperature. if you're looking for whole chicken breast, the oven is your friend.

the second tip is VITALLY IMPORTANT. dry powder seasonings don't penetrate into chicken meat well, and since chicken breast is usually an irregular shape (compared to say pork and beef cuts that tend to be flat), you'll end up with underseasoned bites if you rely on a seasoned crust. a liquid marinade will also hydrate the meat which i suspect contributes to even cooking, but more importantly leads to juicier meat.

i rest my meats for at least 2 minutes before cutting them, but the jury is out on whether that actually helps it retain moisture. if you've done everything else right, resting or not resting shouldn't make a big difference. if you want to visually check the meat has cooked through, absolutely cut it in half.

IF YOU END UP WITH DRY CHICKEN!! you can improve it by adding it to something wet, like a ceasar salad, or make it into chicken salad. shredding it will help with the texture too. or just feed it to your pets.

that's it! go forth and make delicious, succulent, juicy chicken!! good luck!!

[krispycreamcake]

How about a Diabolik fic where the reader is the only Sakamaki sibling who acts strange during a blood moon? I'll let you decide what strange is if you want.

From Author: Okay so I did some extra digging on what would be considered strange to a vampire during a blood moon and it's just the opposite of the regular effects. I took some creative liberties with this so I hope you enjoy! Thank you for submitting this!

TW: Graphic depictions of violence!

A Vampire's Dissension

The sun's rays painted a warm hue across the sky, dying the clouds a soft pink and orange. Birds and humans alike were scuttling about to make their way home before nightfall. For it was when the twilight hour hits, that predators emerged from the shadows. To avoid being caught in the unforgiving jaws of death, one needed to be vigilant as to not get entrapped by these crowned monarchs of the moon, these sultans of sadism. Their ambition was relentless and so was their appetite.

Tonight however, was an especially particular night. Blood Moons were special occasions in which a vampire's abilities were amplified, along with their unyielding thirst for that deliciously, savoury, scarlet syrup. It was a known fact that no bride has ever survived a night in the Sakamaki mansion. As unfortunate as it is, this family has a reputation of killing their prey. Many brides have come but never gone, as their crying souls became trapped in the mansion where they all met an untimely demise.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a couple bodies stacking up on your end either. To be fair, it's not like you tried to kill them, you just lacked a significant amount of restraint. And if you were being honest with yourself, you've always been that way for as long as you can remember. You noticed that with every Blood Moon, your predatorial instincts seemed to contort into pure unbridled aggression. It became an unbearable flame that scorched throughout your body, begging, crying, wailing for you to drink something more.

You stood near the manor's old balcony, watching how the setting sun drained any and all natural light dry from the sky. It wouldn't be long now before the moon started taking effect. Your veins began to pulsate and writhe under your fleshy arm, almost as if beating out your very body. You gritted your teeth as you remembered the last Blood Moon. You had requested Reiji to make specially tailored tranquilizers to subdue you, which it did.... For half an hour. After that brief period of peace, the stairwell was completely destroyed and Subaru refused to speak to you for a week. Your hostility wasn't unknown to the family, but that still didn't make it tolerable to put up with. From feeling thirsty and irritated, your emotions quickly took a turn to being aggravated and wrathful.

You stood there contemplating ways on how to isolate yourself from your brothers so you wouldn't cause harm to them. As night began to ink the sky, you decided it was better to lock yourself in your room and distract your mind. You sifted through your belongings before finding a cookbook hidden in your backpack. That's right, you were meant to prepare a meal from home and bring it to your home economics class the next day, using a list of designated recipes that your teacher highlighted. You skimmed over the book, scanning for any recipes you could make. Your eyes were immediately glued to a page on Beef Shigureni.

You'd never made it before, but Reiji was extremely talented when it came to making the stew up to his standards. You began to feel peckish as you read through the ingredients, mouth drooling at the images the book had displayed. Soon enough, that slight hunger metamorphisized into voraciousness. You could smell the succulent aroma of the prepared meat, drowning in its delicious flavours. Abruptly, a knock was made at the door which jolted you out of your thoughts. You noticed how the scent seemed to linger in the air. Were you that hungry that you were experiencing phantom sense? Your fingertips brushed against the cold doorknob as you twisted it open, only to be met with sly eyes and a smirk that could kill.

"Oh? Why the cruel expression? And here I thought you'd be elated to get a visit from your dear brother~" You rolled your eyes at Laito before replying. "What do you want? I'm kinda busy right now." Laito peeked into your room hearing this, eyes searching every corner until you had to push him back out into the hall. With your hands pressed against his chest, and arms flexing, you finally got him out of your personal space. "Hm? And here I thought you meant you were busy with a cute little plaything, how depressing." You clicked your tongue and looked him dead in the eyes. "You should leave before it starts." Laito raised an eyebrow at this.

"The moon isn't at its peak yet. Unless you really are getting that bad?" You noticed the very slight hint of concern in your brother's voice. "I felt it even when the sun was setting.... But I should be okay for now. Still, we don't know when it'll happen, so it's best you leave." Laito met your gaze with a cold hard stare. "If you try anything on me, I won't be going down that easily. Neither will the others. Stay in your room." You almost had chills hearing Laito speak so sternly to you. It was obvious he was worried for the others and for you. Despite his provocative nature, beneath was a man riddled by the fleas of abuse, and something about you going on a rampage seemed to bubble up memories once long buried. You couldn't help but notice how the succulent aroma from before seemed to be radiating off of Laito.

"Reiji mentioned something about you meeting him in his lab. If what you're saying is true, I'd hurry there before you bite his head off." And in an instant, he teleported away. You sighed and decided to find Reiji before it was too late. Your stomach growled and screamed, begging to be fed especially after your encounter with Laito. You admitted that it was srange that he smelled exactly like the recipe, but didn't let it bother you as you made your way to Reiji's lab.

You rapped on the door gently, fingers beating against the oak wood. You listened as it creaked open to reveal a dignified looking man behind it. "I see you've gotten my message. Come inside." You made your way into his lab and sat down on one of the chairs. "Deplorable...." You rolled your eyes and looked at him with an expression that could only transmit the words 'Get a grip'. He coughed lightly into his gloved hand, making an ahem sound. "I've prepared this sedative for you to try." Reiji pushed his glasses up before handing you a tiny glass vial with the most repungant, foul, revolting liquid you've ever smelled. You corked your nose shut before refusing to accept the bottle.

"Don't be a child. This is for the safety of all of us." You listened to Reiji's words and knew they were true. You knew all he was doing was trying to help. But even so, that concoction made you gag so much you thought you might throw up. You grabbed the tiny bottle and just seconds before you downed it, there was that scent again. That deliciously deceitful scent. It wrapped around your brain, clouding all your senses. As you gave into the smell, you couldn't help but notice that your senses became heightened. Your veins began to throb once again, pumping through your body. Being a vampire, your heart hadn't a reason to beat, but every Blood Moon seemed to tell a different tale. The feeling could only be described as want, the same kind of want that a predator feels when stalking its prey.

Reiji sighed at your incompetence to even simply drink something. He marched over to where you remained sat, seemingly stuck in a trance. "You understand the importance of the little time we have, don't you?" You didn't hear him. All sound was tuned out as your mind began to fog. As a matter of fact, you didn't see him either. Visions of rabbits running around in a forest at night as you watched from a hidden position formed in your mind. Reiji grabbed the bottle from your hand and had planned to force feed it to you, but as soon as his clothed fingers made contact with yours, you yanked him forwards and sank your teeth into his throat.

He let out a grunt as he tried to get you off of him, but you rammed his body into a shelf, teeth unmoving from their position. You sucked every trickle of blood that dare made its way down his neck, the crimson ooze only tantalizing you further. Your fangs sunk into his bloody flesh as he squirmed and fought, which only made you more adamant on not letting him escape. You began to press deeper and deeper into his muscle tissue before ripping your fangs out, along with a chunk of his flesh. Blood spurred everywhere, coating your face. Your hair became messier and tousled, pupils dilated far back, fangs dripping with the scarlet syrup you craved. You began to chew that piece of flesh that you ripped out, tearing it to shreds as Reiji slowly crawled out of the lab, leaving a trail of Vermilion behind.

It wasn't long after that your tastebuds were hit with sensations of the one thing you've been craving this entire time, meat. You searched the house far and wide until your gaze was met with Ayato's disturbed stare. He was horrified at the state you were in, looking up from below the stairwell. His shock was beyond what words could describe. Reiji lay behind him, Subaru using his own body to block his injured form. Shu stared at you, unsure of his own emotions. He knew you saw him as a meal, and for the first time in his life, he felt like prey. Despite their enhanced powers, none of them stood a chance against you alone, so it was imperative they stuck together. Your lips were stained with your own brother's blood as you stood there heaving, waiting, watching, like a predator about to pounce.

You ran down the stairs faster than any of them could comprehend, teeth bared like a wild dog as you sprinted towards Ayato. In the flash of a second, pain shot through both your arms as you let out a pained cry, howling like a beast as blood gushed from your palms, soaking the carpeted staircase in your fluids. Laito and Kanato had teleported just as you ran, iron stakes in hand as they plunged into your hands. They dashed up the stairs as they pinned you to the wall. At this point you were thrashing and snarling at them, not a coherent word to be let out. Anger took over and almost overrided the pain, until Shu appeared right before you, clenching your jaw and forcing your mouth open as he shoved that putrid concoction from before, down into your throat. In a matter of seconds, your eyelids began to feel heavy and as much as you fought, you fell asleep.

[bigcutiejazz]

Hola Papi,

It's a very special day today! It's not Tuesday but I'VE GOT TACOS! They were so delicious! And being a California girl, you know that I know great tacos. And these had succulent, flavorful, juicy beef with warm, gooey, melty cheese with that slightly crispy tortilla. Just thinking about it now gets me all excited. And I ate all that I could so I can keep these curves dangerous because this sexy ass figure ain't gonna maintain itself. Maybe one day, we can get tacos and I'll let you feed them to me 🌮🌮🌮

HTTPS://jazz.bigcuties.com

Free Blog

Www.bigcuties.com/blog

[buffetlicious]

McDonald’s Singapore has brought back the Samurai Burgers with a couple of new allies - Tamago Samurai Burgers. They come in beef or chicken patty with a “crispy”, succulent fried egg! I am kind of interested in the “crispy” egg adjective used in their promotional materials.

I went with the Tamago Samurai Chicken Burger Meal (S$8.95) and topped up an extra S$0.80 to change the gassy drink into a small Ice Green Tea. The burger featured a tender chicken thigh patty dipped into teriyaki sauce with a fried egg on top. All these sandwiched with crispy lettuce and creamy mayo between sesame seeds buns. The whole burger is wet with the sweet and savoury teriyaki sauce. Biting into the burger, there isn’t anything crispy inside, it is just a normal fried egg and there is nothing crispy about it. With the egg however, it seems to impart a more wholesome flavour to the sweetish chicken burger. I like it…

Since it is a better value when you purchase the Extra Value Meal, I bought mum the Filet-O-Fish Meal (S$5.50) which comes with a medium French Fries and a drink which I promptly changed to a small Ice Lemon Tea for S$0.80 more.

Selected images and video courtesy of McDonald’s Singapore.

[viiviidlights]

Twst characters but they are customers at the store I work at (except it's just Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw bc this is a shitpost that probably won't do well)

Heartslabyul:

❤️Ace: Obnoxious teenager there with his parents. Probably rocks the camo jacket like half the teenage boys I see on a daily basis and is begrudgingly forced to help his parents put stuff in the buggy (but not bag them). Honestly, I don't think his family would be the type to buy bags in the first place either. Just tossing shit straight in the cart.

♠️Deuce: The counterpart to Ace. Is a regular with his mom, and probably will join in on the banter between the two of us. Offers to bag groceries for me and I know for a FACT that Dylla/Dilah Spade always has those reusable bags on her. One of my favorite kinds of customers tbh. Definitely a customer that I wouldn't know the name of but would have a nickname for in my head.

♣️Trey: Always has a cart full of various baking items and is willing to chat about whatever he's making this time. One time we had a really good sale on mouthwash though and he had like 3 large bottles in his cart or something and that earned him the moniker "mouthwash guy". Is a regular and always scans his rewards card before I can even ask; also always needs to buy bags and will ask beforehand. Can't explain that last one but it just makes sense.

♦️Cater: SUPER chatty customer that I probably started chatting to after he interjected on a convo between my coworkers and I. Doesn't usually have that much to buy, and if he even has a cart, it's usually one of the small ones (we don't have baskets but that's a diff story). Semi-regular who probably doesn't have a rewards card but always asks to sign up for one. If he DOES have a rewards card though, he always says he's gonna save the points for gas and then forgets and they expire. Again, can't explain this one but it makes sense to me. Probably also tends to go thru U-Scan or Express most of the time anyways because those lend themselves better to chatting, believe it or not.

🌹Riddle: Not usually him I see on a regular, but his mom. I have beef with her as a customer because she yelled at me the first time I asked if she wanted to buy bags. And then yelled bc I bagged things wrong even tho I asked if she had any preferences. He came in for her once or twice, though, and while he's still super particular with how things are bagged, he communicates it with me when I ask. Has probably asked if I'm supposed to be "doing that" (standing around and leaning on my bagging counter) though when I don't have any customers in line. Would not wanna be his coworker.

Savanaclaw:

🦁Leona: I like to think Leona would probably do doordash orders and not actually come in himself. The ONE time he came in, though, it would be to buy like... One random ass thing and NOTHING ELSE. probably also went through U-Scan and didn't go through the lines and yk what? Me too.

🍩 Ruggie: Fellow part-timer that also runs door dash on his days off. An exception to the customers rule because I think he WOULD be a coworker of mine and probably is fun to gossip with when standing on U-Scan. Probably gets into trouble though bc he'd probably be more interested in chatting than watching the registers. Anyways when he does door dash it's fun though because he always has insane orders of like two tiny items that I have to bag ANYWAYS. That or he's doordashing for Leona and it's a cart that's full of meat on sale and other shit and it's kinda insane but yk what ain't my business bc people come thru with buggies full of pork chops all the time because of BBQs and parties so. Eh. Probably got in trouble once for scanning his rewards card for customers that didn't bring theirs.

🐺Jack: Genuinely nice customer. Not super talkative but is still receptive to my NPC dialogue-ass work script. Bought some succulents over the summer and we had a slight conversation over it but probably nothing crazier than that. It's usually just him and his parents but every once in a while his siblings are also there and he's usually a bit more talkative in those cases. Another customer I would enjoy having in my line.

[slimjimfiend]

Jimmy licking his lips at the sight of Curly hanging by chains on a meat hook, shivering and afraid, covered in specks of ink, dotted lines intricately placed to seperate each lovely part of him more vividly.

Jimmy can't wait to dig into his favorite parts of this succulent prime beef and savor Curly's juicy flesh, blood and soul, a moment that he has been pining for since he joined the butchery.

All Curly can do is watch his co-worker stare him down hungerily, sadistically and almost lovingly. Curly sways on the hook like the thousands of slabs of meat that came before him as he struggles futily to break free.

Tears well up and cover Curly's vision, bluring the lines between shock of betrayel and reality, as he knows what is about to come soon enough.

Jimmy WILL fullfill his twisted need to be one with his blonde beauty, a need that has rooted itself so deep inside that it has converged as naturally as his own shadow, even if that means it must be done one bite at a time.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 10

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here.

(special thanks to @silver-grasp for helping proofread today's post!)

1326 Q: I feel like compared to Wu Xie, you want to act as Zhang Qiling more. [screenshot of Xiaoge curled up on his side in a dark blue Tibetan robe paired with a picture of NPSS curled up on his side while wearing what looks like a light brown overall.]

A: You’ve actually found me out. Look, even my Tibetan robe is a living being. (T/N: I think NPSS is saying that his fat is his “robe”?) 1333

#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A# Let’s play a game. Right now, I’ll go and have lunch and we’ll start playing when I’m back. Let’s pretend that I have a System (the kind in those System novels). The function of this system is that while I answer the questions, it will suddenly reply some questions in a very Chūnibyō way. Those who have their questions answered in this Chūnibyō way can assign me a mission of writing a snippet. Once I’ve completed the snippets (they must be something I can write, if they are out of bounds, I’ll ignore them), I will receive photos of what the mission-givers are doing at the moment as my System reward. When the person who finds the pattern in my Chūnibyō responses tells me what the pattern is, they can decide that night’s update contents. (But the update can’t be out of bounds. It must be a proper scene from the series. Don’t do anything silly.) 1352

Q: Shu, when will you personally reenact Wu Xie’s Pulling Radish Dance?

A: I need someone to act as Wu Xie though.

1357

Q: Aside from taking sleeping pills, does Xiaohua have other ways of going to sleep?

A: The training from climbing one-handed and hanging down can [allow a person to] temporarily go to sleep for a few minutes. He hangs by the edge of hell yet his heart faces the light. Pink is the color of his blood and he is a ferocious wolf standing in the loneliness of the heaven’s forever night!!! The sound of his breath can reach hell, making demons and ghouls shiver!!! (T/N: this is a Chūnibyō answer.) 1358

Q: I want to know if DMBJ had a collab with Sanrio, which little Sanrio animal would each of the Five Succulent Beef be?

A: What [Sanrio characters] are there? Tell me. 1359

Q: Sanshu~~~ Please pick me!!! Are the seventeen scars on Wu Xie’s forearm on the inner side or the outer side? A: Inner.

1359 Q: Shu, what exactly does the Chūnibyō answer you mentioned mean? 

A: I’ve demonstrated it. Please look at my page.

1400 Q: Sanshu, you said that you want to lose weight to act but the result doesn’t seem that obvious. Do you still want to act or not?

A: How is it not obvious? I’ve lost one chin.

1401

Q: May I know if there’s a System that will lose more money the more you earn? For example, it looks like you’ve earned 2000 but because of the System, you’ve actually only earned 20. Under this sort of setting, who is the most likely to become the richest man? (The seed money will be provided by the System.) A: Don’t all earthlings come with this System at birth?

1402

Q: Boss Xu, may I know if Hei Xiazi, as a personal assistant, hasn’t signed in for 4 months, would Boss Xie fill it in for him from the office automation system? Does Xiazi file his bills for reimbursement by himself? Does he need to write work reports? What would Boss Xie tell him when they are talking about work performances? A: Xiazi files for reimbursement himself. When he gets impatient, he will paste the bills on his face or trick the accountant. He would even arrange the bills into the “resentment” character.

1403

Q: Sanshu, when do you usually sleep? I feel like you’re answering questions no matter the time. Sometimes you’re even answering questions in the middle of the night. A: Basically, I don’t sleep.

1404

Q: Speaking of food, even till today, I still remember the “compressed biscuits goo” that were mentioned in the original series. So, has Sanshu eaten them before? Do they taste good?

A: The German ones are not bad. The Eastern European ones taste like medicine. 1407

#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A# When ordering snippets, please use the tag #Zang Hai Hua System Snippet Orders# It’ll make it easier for me to find them.

1407

Q: Shu, if I could see you write a fight between Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi, I’ll die without regrets. No location or situation limits, can you let them have a fight?

A: Badminton court, everyone stopped what they were doing to watch them hit the shuttlecock so hard that it sounded like thunder. 

1411

Q: Shu, I want to know what kind of fate allowed Chen Minghao laoshi to keep playing Pangye. Chen Minghao laoshi is the Uncle Pang in my heart. 

A: He’s schoolmates with Qin Hao laoshi. Their duo name is [T/N: i think this is a pun of their name but i can't make neither the head nor tails of it]. They had another schoolmate called Dang Hao, the three of them together is [T/N: another untranslatable pun that has stumped me. I’m sorry.]

we'll be back on single updates now i feel! solely because Chunibyo answers are ruining my ability to think hahahahaha but hey! 150 posts in!

[bulkyphrase]

Fluffy Steve Fest Rec List Day 4 - Birthday Comedy

It's @fluffystevefest day 4 - Happy birthday Steve! The theme for Thursday is Birthday, but, like yesterday, you're getting something completely different—comedy!

Please enjoy this not at all birthday-themed list of some of my favorite funny fluffy fics.

Son or Dog? by SucculentHyena (@succulent-hyena) (Stucky, General Audiences, 2,518 words)

Summary: Nobody can stop talking about Steve Rogers, the newest employee in the office. He’s nice, he’s handsome, and he adores Charlie. There’s only one thing they can’t figure out: is Charlie his son? Or his dog? Bucky’s going to try his best to find out.

How to Train Your Superheroes by StuckySituation (Gen, Teen And Up Audiences, 3,150 words)

Summary: “But of course, no matter how much we practice on schedule, we will need to learn constant vigilance and manage to get our reaction times down to the minimum,” Steve continues and takes the last burger beef from the grill and puts it onto the table next to him. Natasha has a brief millisecond to frown and think “Constant vigilance?”, before Steve kicks the grill so hard that the coals rain on top of the flammable carpet feets away. “What the hell-!?” “STEVE!?” Steve is already sprinting towards the ledge. “First training session started! Wanda, Sam, Tony - someone CATCH ME!” Then he jumps off the Tower.

Check One by JenTheSweetie (@jenthesweetie) (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 4,263 words)

Summary: The important thing to know - and I mean really, the actually important thing - is that no matter what Bucky said, Steve was not flirting with Tony Stark. (“Yes you were, you son of a - ”) Steve has an annoying best friend. Tony has an elaborate plan. Sam has allergies. Bucky has no idea what's about to hit him.

Blind Date by @aggressivewhenstartled, quietnight (@quietnighty) (Teen And Up Audiences, 8,294 words, No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: “I just had the best idea I have ever had in my life,” Bucky said, punching straight through a doombot with his metal hand and clutching the napkin with Steve’s phone number in the other. The formerly (somewhat) dark and peaceful corner of Central Park was now lit up with energy beams, flashing robotic lights, and panicked astronomy buffs running for cover. Oh well, it wasn't like they'd been going to see many stars what with all the Christmas shit everywhere. “The bar you are setting for that is not high,” Natasha told him over the coms. Also available as a podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)

Situation: Normal by redcigar (Mature, 3,155 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: AU wherein Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers never met, Steve somehow manages to rescue the Winter Soldier anyway, and Avengers Tower ends up with the world’s angriest duckling and a whole new brand of entertainment. - (“He was dragging him out of the river,” Natasha argues later. “Nat, be honest, he was going for the Full Monty.” Says Clint. “I’m pretty sure we interrupted him in the middle of giving ‘emergency CPR’,” Tony agrees, “Or the stage after emergency CPR. Emergency Dick? Is that a thing?” “That’s not a thing,” Natasha and Clint reply.) Also available as a podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)

How Steve Rogers Singlehandedly Lost the Cold War by redcigar (Mature, 3,880 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: AU wherein Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes never met, but the Winter Soldier takes an interest in Captain America anyway, and has an odd way of showing it. -- (On the helicarrier, hurrying to reach the central hub of the third aircraft in time, the chip clenched in his gloved fist, Steve turns to find a ghost blocking his path, and is abruptly reminded on what the road to hell is paved with.) Also available as a podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)

The God of Solid Life Advice by kehinki (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 1,583 words)

Summary: It's 2012. Steve is just informed by Loki that Bucky's alive. Loki also tells him some other things.

Bait and Switch by @galwednesday (Teen And Up Audiences, 2,650 words, No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: "Post-action tacos?” Tony suggested. “I’m thinking that place by Fordham. BattleBot, you in?” “Can’t,” the Soldier said, typing something into his phone. “I have a date.” Tony stopped talking for an entire three seconds. “You. Have a date.” The Soldier looked up and blinked, clearly nonplussed to find Sam and Tony both staring at him. “Yes.” “With who?” “My boyfriend.” “You have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend?” Tony looked like he’d just walked into a lamppost, and then the lamppost had handed him a birthday present. Also available as a podfic read by Nendian

[darksturnioloqueen]

The Taste Of Guilt - Chapter 1

**This Fic Series will NOT be for people with triggers. This Fic Series will have moments of cannibalism.**

Definition can·ni·bal·ism /ˈkanəbəˌliz(ə)m/ noun: cannibalism

The practice of eating the flesh of one's own species.

Please Read At Your Own Risk.

⚠︎Trigger Warning: mornings (kind of a joke because I hate mornings), human smoothie, food aversion symptoms, urge to vomit, talking about eating human, human taste, working, ominous memory, thawing frozen human meat, memory of taking human meat from body, feeling guilt, angst? ⚠︎

Chris' alarm went off to wake him up. He hated mornings, but this was the only arrangement he and Matt could devise that got him out of the house for a little bit. Over the past year, Chris was confined to their home for fear his urges would prevail. He was good at keeping them away, but sometimes they were too much, too natural. He rubbed his face. It was six am. He hated mornings. He slid out of bed and grabbed his polo with his work logo on it. He didn't have to look too presentable because he would be the only one opening the shop. Just down from their house, there was a smoothie shop that happened to need an opening prep employee; Chris just happened to need an escape from the house that didn't involve too close contact with people. Matt approved of him applying. Chris got the job, of course. He shuffled to the kitchen, trying to be quiet and not wake up Matt. Matt works longer hours because his job is more demanding, and it's for Chris, so the least he can do is be quiet when he wakes up at six am.

He grabbed his breakfast from the fridge. He had set it in there last night after Matt went to bed to thaw. He tried his best to keep his life separate from Matt. He recognizes he didn't ask for this burden. He didn't ask for the worst brother imaginable. Chris left the house quietly and walked down the street. They only had one car, and since Matt paid for it, Chris felt he should leave it for him when he woke up. Chris also enjoyed his morning walks because he wasn't allowed to be out of the house often. He breathed in the crisp air. The street lamps were still on, lighting up his path. Occasionally, a car would go past, and he would watch it speeding off. Little things like that were enjoyable for him now. He had to learn how vital little things were in life the hard way.

He used his key to unlock the door and disarm the entry code. He didn't want to turn the lights on right away in case people thought they were open and tried coming in. He worked in the dark. He grabbed a blender and opened his bag of thawed meat. This was his least favorite part of his whole day. He grabbed a cup of ice and poured it in, topping it off with cut-up chunks of a calf. He put the top on the blender and turned it on. The ice and meat swirled together until he had his own smoothie. He poured it into his special cup, which he brings home daily and washes out. He has to be extra careful about contamination. His immune system is already very weak, but now his diet is also a risk factor for illness. Before starting his work tasks, he cleans the blender out so no one might notice its ingredients are less than fruity.

Once his secret checklist is completed, he starts doing his actual work tasks. He pulls out all the fruits he needs and chops them up. His stomach feels queasy as the smell of succulent strawberries fills his nostrils. He fights back the urge to vomit. He sips on his special smoothie to help calm his aching belly. He doesn't always need to eat human. Just occasionally, his body can't be fooled into believing raw beef is the same as the very protein his body creates. He would never admit this out loud, but humans tasted fine. It would never be his go-to on the menu, but having been forced to survive off his own kind, they tasted good enough.

He finished cutting countless pounds of fruit and labeling them in the proper containers before putting them back in the fridge. He then made sure the ice maker was pumping out cubes to its fastest capacity. He didn't mind his job. It wasn't very stimulating, but he couldn't complain because it was something he got to call his own. He didn't have much of a sense of self lately.

"Morning, Chris." Mike was his relief manager. He came in and took over so Chris could leave.

"Morning, Mike." He secretly wished Mike would ask him questions or talk about some random football game Chris didn't even watch. But much like himself, Mike wasn't a morning person either. He set his coat on the hook.

"Morning, go okay?" He was short.

"Yeah, it was good. I noticed some blueberries expire tomorrow. I moved them to the front." Chris tried to initiate some conversation.

"Ok. Good." And just like that, Mike chopped the conversation in half. Chris grabbed his special cup and headed to the time clock.

"Have a good day, Mike." He said, being polite. Not once has the thought of eating Mike ever crossed his mind. Mike was the reason Chris believed he could handle being around more people. He believed he could do it without hurting anyone. As soon as he had that thought, Rosalinda popped into his head, and he remembered the mess he caused for Nick and Matt. And then Nick left, and Matt became stuck caring for him and his burden. And then Chris remembered he appreciated having Mike's dry morning conversations.

Chris crept into the house. His life was entirely built on a routine now. He grabbed his snack bag out of the freezer to thaw for him to have later after waking up again. Matt was usually gone by now. Chris planned everything carefully so they didn't have any run-ins. He finished washing his cup and left it to dry for tomorrow morning. As Chris turned around, he was surprised to see Matt standing there rubbing his tired face, only wearing flannel pants.

"Oh," Chris said, surprised.

"Hi." Matt barely looked at him before walking around the long way to get to the fridge.

"You are -"

"Late. I know. I told them I overslept." Matt was grumpy. He didn't like being late despite not liking his unique profession. He took pride in being a reliable person.

"I'm going back to sleep," Chris informed him. He knew he didn't necessarily have to tell Matt everything, but he wanted him to feel as little stress as possible. He knew Matt took solace in the idea that Chris was locked away in the highest tower, away from any peasants.

"Night," Matt mumbled, still not looking at his brother. He wasn't mad at Chris; he just didn't know how to accept him anymore. He reached into the fridge and grabbed an energy drink to help him handle his long workday. His hand froze when he saw the little baggy of flesh on the shelf. Matt remembered Mave walking into the room and reading off the body's, Alice's body, special request chart. As he popped the tab, he felt his own guilty conscience weighing him down. He took a sip and looked toward Chris's room. He heard him shuffling around and getting ready to go back to bed. Matt knew he didn't deserve this guilt. Alice didn't deserve to be picked apart like a buffet. Chris didn't deserve this life.

I despise A/N but how are we feeling?!?!?!

Hit my INBOX royal subjects!

-- The Dark Queen

[viapu-com]

Get ready to up your dinner game with Succulent Secrets' top-notch Beef Shank recipe! Unleash your inner chef and dive into juicy, aromatic flavors like never before. Stay tuned! 🥩🔥🍴