#suburbia collection

[darkdoelette]

Nichole doll house

[unlimited-nobu-works]

T.S.O.L. - Wash Away, Suburbia (dir. Penelope Spheeris).

[gaia-mix-nicolosi]

I tend to listen to classical music usually, maybe whatever music i end up with randomly on YouTube, which often does tend to be videogame music or vocaloid music.

Oh and often it’s like, not classical classical music but more of… eurobeat/songwriter music, often from 20-50ish years ago?

If I'm being completely honest, my taste in music isn't based on genres or artists, it's based on whether a given song could plausibly be on the soundtrack for a story-driven tactical RPG about a wizard with a gun.

[batchilla]

In Any Kinder Universe - Prologue

There's a boy on your front doorstep. He looks about ten, and you would not be at all concerned, where it not for the league of assassins garb he wore. You were still fairly sure you could take him, but if you could, you would prefer to avoid beating up a child. You allow the curtain to float back down into place, and move out of the living room to the entryway. Had you known the league would come, perhaps you would have let him slip something a little more heavy duty into your bag … but then why would Ra's send a little boy? and why does he have a suitcase half his size? You open the door, looking down at him. "You lost, buddy?" "No," the boy replies, staring at you as if you've disappointed him. Wait. That stare.

"Your address was on father's computer as a safe house for code red or black scenarios." He moves into your house, leaving the case behind as if he expects someone else to collect it.

"Father's?" you echo, blinking. Oh. "My father; perhaps you are a lesser detective then I was lead to believe. It seems the trend. The Batman." Maybe it would have been preferable if Ra's Al Ghul sent him to kill you. "A son of the bat in leagues robes?" "My Mother is Thalia Al Ghul. I believe you have met. I am Damian Al Ghul, heir to the demon's head and the bat." You had indeed met Thalia. Ten years ago when you were a scrap of a girl, still learning to flip and jump and fly, yet to be given the mantle, she had come to Gotham. You saw why now, or at least the consequences. The boy's heritage was obvious. You roll your neck, flexing your hands to fight the urge to reach for something in a belt you no longer have. "fascinating as that may be, it doesn't explain why you came here." The boy levels another look you know well at you, as if he sees all you are and finds you lacking. "I understand you trained alongside Gordon and Grayson, and then Todd, later training Drake and Brown." discomfort wells in your chest as you feel the ghost of a too tight cowl suppressing your face. "I don't know that I trained alongside Babs and Dick… I came in right before the … before she was attacked and he left." "But you did in fact train with and later train every previous Robin. It is also true that you yourself were once slated to replace Grayson." You nod. "But I didn't, and then I left." "Then you quit. Soon, I will take my rightful place by my father's side, and I will not be the first denied your tutoring." Your head aches, and vision blurs slightly. "Tim isn't Robin anymore? what- what happened?" "He was replaced by the Batman's true heir. He is not dead, if that's where you went. Grayson said you were sensitive now. weak. I see why my father had you go. Still, he speaks highly of you. When I asked about you - do you know what he said?" "I'm sure you're about to tell me." you mutter, but the boy pays no heed to the bitter tone. "He named you his greatest protege. Claimed Drake and Brown flourished under your guidance. Then demanded I stay away. Leave well enough alone and let you rot here in central city suburbia." you scoff. "Healing, not rotting. I hate to burst whatever weird bubble you're in, but I am out of the game. Scram." Damian shakes his head. "No. If you are what father claims, I will study under you." "And if I refuse?" "Batgirl, turning away a Robin asking for help? Unlikely." It happens before you can think, you grab his shoulder and slam him against the door frame. "That is not my name anymore!" He grabs your wrist and tries to twist out of your grasp, but you lock in and stand as stone. It takes you a minute to realise what's happening. Thalia's boy or not, goading little shit or not, Damian was a child. You let go and take a step back. It's not your name anymore. The mantle no longer yours. Technically if he wanted Batgirl, he ought go to Stephanie Brown. But he was a child, and name or no, if you turned him away and something happened to the kid… Sick laughter rings in your ears. Jason, so broken down, sat in that chair. The shot. Your partner… your best friend and first love dead so quickly after so much pain. "Take your stuff upstairs, third door off the landing. I- I need to have a diazepam and make a goddamn call."

You stare at the contact, as if that will fix the scenario. As if you can inflict your ire on the man who lent you his last name through manifestation alone. You cannot. He answers immediately, his tone completely blank, as if he's not even registered that this is the first time you've spoken in over a year. Your first name and nothing more, clipped and short. "Bruce, hi. Lose a brat, lately?" You are proud of how level you keep your voice. "Might've appreciated knowing I had another brother before he showed up. I'd have stocked the fridge with goldfish or something." Except you didn't, you didn't have a new brother, not really. Bruce didn't truly see you as a daughter, just a toy soldier. A truth that had slapped you in the face after you'd had a breakdown and needed to step out of the cowl, and your use to him was over. He hadn't even said goodbye. Just slipped an emergency alert into your bag at some point. The one trinket you kept from 'home'. "Damian arrived safely then." Your eyebrows raise "You sent him?" "I told him to stay away. To grant you space. Someone will be around shortly to collect him." "…" you feel pathetic to ask it. "You told him I was a good teacher?" "Something like that." is the unreadable reply. "Think he has anything to learn from me?" Your voice is thick and you fight the need to let it rasp as you swallow back the panic and the fear and the hope he brings. Even now, after so much time, and anger, and therapy, some part of you is that little girl desperate for the love of the only father you have ever known. "I do." "Then… maybe he can stay, just for a little while."

INCIDENT REPORT Concerned Parties: Batman. Batgirl Metahuman - Civilian {SEE FILE}. Incident nature: Phone call. Duration: 3 minutes 34 seconds. Notable information: Damian to reside temporarily with civilian to receive training. First contact with Civilian in 13 months, 2 weeks and 3 days post incident {SEE FILE} Personal notes: Damian has broken prototypical regarding his sister. She is to be left alone, per her request. To be reprimanded on return. She sounded initially calm and making snarky commentary but swiftly became distressed. Confirms suspicion that her leaving this life is for her best health. Distance to be maintained. Greatly relieving to hear from her again. She is missed. Incident marked closed at 1900 by Batman.

Hi! Batchilla here! Repeat after me team: if I vote on the poll and don't reblog, I am a piece of shit and need to learn basic tumblr etiquette!

Files MAY become available if they do not win the poll they first appear in... but I make no promises. Thank you to @k1ssyoursister for making the divider. Thank you to @sunnie-angel for giving this a beta read. and the biggest thank you possible to @heavysighing-dreamyeyes for letting me yap at you so much about this series, you have been unreal.

[you-see-something-strange-here]

I actually love the suburbia vibes we’ve got going on in At Attin because it’s giving america in the 50’s after ww2 when everyone collectively decided that isolation and conformity was important and the best way to rebuilding a society, so I totally see why At Attin went in that direction during the new republic.

[fatehbaz]

Slow death is, quite simply, “a condition of being worn out [...].” If debility is endemic to disenfranchised communities, it is doubly so because the forms of financialization that accompany [...] the privatization of services also produce debt as debility. [...] Debt peonage [...] is an updated version of [...] critique of “choice” under capitalism. Debt as enclosure, as immobility, is what Gilles Deleuze writes of [...]: “Man is no longer man enclosed, but man in debt.” This is especially true [...] in the United States, where health care expenses are the number one cause of personal bankruptcy, a capacitation of slow death through debt undertaken to support one’s health. [...] [O]ne is, as Geeta Patel points out, paying for one’s own slow death, through insurial and debt structures predicated on risk and insecurity, and essentially forced into agreeing to one’s own debilitation. [...] More perniciously, one could suggest [...] that finance capital enforces repeated mandatory investments in our own slow deaths [...].

Text by: Jasbir K. Puar. “Introduction: The Cost of Getting Better.” The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability. 2017.

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[A]nd their [...] local government [weaponizes] [...] an array of fees and fines ["extortions of the poor" as governments "turn to such predatory practices facilitated by growing armies of police and preexisting legal mechanisms for debt collection, surveillance, and incarceration"]. Many of those who live within these neighborhoods thereby experience class exploitation in the form of direct violence - by police, racist vigilantes, Immigration [border policing agencies] [...] - and onerous rents extracted by anyone with a modicum of power. [...] A final type of [place] is the Logistics City [near shipping corridors and freight nodes, like Twin Cities, SeaTac, Chicago, and Cancer Alley in Louisiana], a concentration of industrial activity in the form of factories, fulfillment centers, ports, warehouses, rail yards, and massive facilities for waste management and food processing. Here, many of the above forms of exploitation are experienced alongside the barefaced misery of doing too much work for too little money.

Text by: Phil A Neel. "The New Geography of Suburbia: An Anatomy of America's Hinterland". New Labor Forum. 2018. [Quotations within brackets come from elsewhere: Neel's book Hinterland, also 2018.]

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[D]ebilitating infrastructures turn able bodies into a range of disabled bodies. […] [C]heckpoints […]; administrative bureaucratic apparatuses that stall and foreclose travel, mobility for work, […] the capacity to move and change residences - baroque processes to apply for permits to travel […], absence of public services […]; and finally […] denial of resolution, suspension in the space of the indefinite […]. In fact, slow death itself is literalized as the slowing down of life […]. [Land] itself becomes simultaneously bigger - because it takes so long to get anywhere - and smaller, as transit becomes arduous […] where it is so difficult to travel between areas without permits [...]. Movement is suffocated. Distance is stretched and manipulated [...]. Time itself is held hostage. This is the slow aspect of slow death: slow death can entail a really slow life, too, a life that demands constant calibration of different speeds and the relation of speed to space. [...] The suspended state of the indefinite, of waiting and waiting (it) out, wreaks multigenerational psychological and physical havoc. […] Time thus is the meter of power; it is one form that physical enclosure takes on. The cordoning of time through space contributes to an overall “lack of jurisdiction over the function of one’s own senses” (Schuller 2018: 74) endemic to the operation of colonial rule […]. [T]his process entails several modes of temporal differentiation: withholding futurity, making impossible anything but a slowed (down) life, and immobilizing the body […]. [T]he extraction of time […] produce[s] a depleted and therefore compliant population so beholden to the logistics of the everyday that forms of connectivity, communing, and collective resistance are thwarted. The extraction of time functions as the transfer of “vital energy” […], an extraction that recapitulates a long colonial history of mining bodies for their potentiality. […] Fear of not getting to work [on time] then adds to the labor of getting to work; the checkpoints affectively expand labor time […]. Bodies in line at checkpoints […] [experience] the fractalizing of the emotive, cognitive, physiological capacities of bodies […]. It’s not just that bodies are too tired to resist but that the experience of the “constant state of uncertainty” becomes the condition of being.

Text by: Jasbir K. Puar. "Spatial Debilities: Slow Life and Carceral Capitalism in Palestine". South Atlantic Quarterly (2021) 120 (2), pages 393-414. Published April 2021.

[d20-lesbian]

AFTER AN OVERWHELMING WAVE OF SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT, I'VE DECIDED TO POST THE WILL WOOD ESSAY!!!! it's below the break !!!!

I would like to really quickly state though that this essay is my property, I put a lot of time and effort into this, so please don't claim it as your own !!!! thank you <33

I will be analysing Will Wood’s song ‘Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Marybell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally’. which, for simplicity, most fans refer to as simply ‘Suburbia Overture’. This song is the first on his first solo album entitled ‘The Normal Album’, which came out in July 2020.

This song, in the most general possible terms, is a criticism of modern suburban life, how it is advertised as “the perfect life”, and how this advertising is incredibly false unless you fit the picture perfect standard that these facets of society seem to require.

The song itself is split up into 3 distinct sections, "Greetings from The Marybell Township!", “(Vampire) Culture” and “Love Me, Normally”. I'll be tackling each section one at a time in order to properly break down what each means, what different analogies they use, how they all relate to each other and the intended end result of the song and the message it intends to convey.

Let's begin with 'Greetings from The Marybell Township!'.

This section of the song uses a lot of analogies that compare suburban life to a warzone, the first line of this section being “white picket fences, barbed wire and trenches”. This section also focuses heavily on the concept of the nuclear family, and it often literalises the term and uses analogies based around radiation and nuclear warfare. Such analogies can be found in lines such as “the snap crackle pop of the Geiger, camouflage billboards for lead lined Brookes Brothers”. Now there's a couple of terms that require definitions in this line. The first of course being “the Geiger”. A Geiger counter, which is what this lyric is referring to, is a tool used to measure levels of harmful radiation. This, paired with the concept of billboards advertising “lead-lined Brookes Brothers” when lead is a material used to deflect radiation, and the knowledge that ‘Brookes Brothers’ is an American vintage style clothing brand, this line really paints a picture of a seemingly post apocalyptic/post nuclear war but still consumerist and capitalistic suburban society. The last line in that verse is “buy now or die”, which ties back to the concept of safety equipment being advertised on billboards, while residents of this town have no choice but to buy the products. This all relates back to the hyperconsumerism that plagues our society, and runs particularly rampant in middle to upper middle class neighbourhoods. The very same neighbourhoods that are often referred to as “suburban”

In the second verse of this section there are a lot of hard hitting lyrics that to me really show that this perfect idealised life is far from perfect or even good, so we will work through them one by one because I feel that they all deserve proper analysis.

The first line that i want to point out from that verse is the line “takes a village to fake a whole culture” which is clearly a rip off of the phrase “it takes a village [to raise a child]” but it also references the fact that usually suburban towns are incredibly monotonous in both residents and architecture, and so it takes the collective effort of the entire population of the town to pretend that there is an actual culture to it.

The next few lines I'll speak on all come in quick succession of one another, essentially blending them into one line.

“Your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball, your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall.”

So let's break these down. This line is easily split into 4 distinct phrases, and all of these phrases have a few things in common, which I will point out later.

“Your ear to the playground” is a play on the phrase “ear to the ground” which essentially means that the person with their ‘ear to the ground’ is attempting to carefully gather intel about something. Someone having their ear to the playground simply reinforces the idea of this suburban “paradise” being. Not as paradise-y as one would hope, seeing as the people who use playgrounds most of all are children, so this line is demonstrating that the picture perfect life that this suburban town offers is actually corrupting children so young that they are still on the playground.

The next phrase is “your eye on the ball” isn't a play on anything and is in fact in itself a common phrase. To have your eye on the ball means to be entirely focused in and paying attention to something, and not allowing anything to divert your attention. Given the last line this line very well could be another reference to the corruption of the youth and the idea that their every day play has already been tainted with the hostilities of modern life usually reserved for adults.

Following this is another well known saying “your head in the gutter” which, as most know, someone whos head is ‘in the gutter’ is someone who will see some sort of innuendo or otherwise vulgar/inappropriate meaning in something that was intended to be entirely innocent, leading to others in the interaction telling the perpetrator to ‘get [their] mind out of the gutter’

And finally, in my opinion the most hard hitting phrase in this set, “your brains on the wall” which is clearly in reference to the notion of ending your own life with a shot to the head, which would lead to, well, brains being on the wall. These last 2 phrases come in stark contrast to the seemingly picture perfect life that suburban towns offer and advertise, the concepts of suicide and perversion are not concepts one expects to see or hear when imagining this idealised form of life.

There is one main similarity in each of the 4 phrases, that being that each phrase has some body part being on something else, your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball, your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall. This similarity almost offers a body horror aspect to the song, which when paired with the concept that this is written about a seemingly post nuclear apocalyptic town presents an interesting idea of possible mutation, but i'll be the first to admit that may be a little far fetched. However that's not the only similarity that these 4 phrases share, another is the fact that they are all directly, or only slightly modified versions of already well known phrases, a similarity that is found in many lines over this entire song, through all 3 sections.

I want to analyse a few more lines before we move on to the second section of the song.

This next line comes directly after the previously analysed line, and it goes “home is where the heart is, you ain't homeless, but you’re heartless”

Sticking with the theme of using already existing and commonly used phrases, “home is where the heart is'' is once again a phrase that you could likely find as a cross stitch hung up on the wall of any of the homogenous houses you could likely find in this idealised suburbia. But what Wood is saying in this line is that home is where the heart is, and that while people in this town may not be homeless, they are certainly heartless, meaning that they in fact don't have homes. They have houses. Rows upon rows of houses that all look the exact same in the horrifying monotony that is suburban living.

Following this line is the lyric “it's the safest on the market, but you still gotta watch where you park it”. These lines seem to be in reference to buying a car. The car being the "safest on the market" is likely in reference to the fact that it may have a lot of safety features. But this is immediately negated by the fact that you “still gotta watch where you park it” meaning that the safety features could be a reason that the car gets stolen, rendering all the safety that those features offered useless because in the end it made the car and the owner less safe.

In the third verse of this section, you immediately hear the line “so give me your half-life crisis” which partially is a play on the term ‘mid life crisis’ wherein which one realises that they may have wasted their life up till that point and they're already halfway through, but the use of the term “half-life” instead of ‘mid-life’ is very intentional, as the term “half-life” can also be used to refer to the half-life of an isotope, which is the amount of time that isotope takes to lose half of its radiation, which ties back into the theme of radiation that we see mentioned a lot in this section.

Later in the same verse is the line “if it's true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard”, which is interesting in a few ways, first, it brings up the idea of a singular individual means nothing on their own and that they only matter when they’re part of something larger or a larger group, but i also think that the use of the terms “snowflake” and “blizzard” instead of something like ‘raindrop’ and ‘storm’ is very intentional in the fact that snowflakes are known for being individual, none are alike, every single one is different. So saying that a snowflake doesn't matter unless it's in a blizzard is yet another hit at individuality, essentially implying that in this town individuality means nothing and is essentially rendered useless.

The final line in this verse is “everybody's all up in my-” repeated thrice, and on the third time the sentence is finished to say “everybody’s all up in my business” and before the word “business” can be finished its overlapped with the beginning of the chorus, the first word of which is a very loud “SUBURBIAAAA!”. I believe this is reminiscent of the fact that in towns like this, everyone cares so much about what everyone else is doing, they’re all so interested in everyone else's business, and i think that sentiment being stated and cut off by the word “Suburbia” is essentially saying that ‘this is the norm, this is just Suburbia, this is how it works around here.’

After the final chorus of this section, in the final verse, you'll find the line “chameleon peacocks are talk of the town” which particularly interests me because if you know anything about chameleons or peacocks you’d find that they seem incredibly different as animals. Chameleons blend into their environment in order to stay safe, whereas peacocks are known for parading around bright colours to make themselves look better, but if you think about it the term “chameleon peacock” actually makes a lot of sense, a person who blends into their surroundings in order to make themselves look good. This sentiment seems to perfectly describe the homogeneity of the people that live in these perfect towns, they're all the same, they blend in with one another in order to make themselves look good, or perfect.

Another line heard shortly afterwards is the phrase “he cums radiation”, rather vulgar, I grant you, but it's important because it is yet another literalisation of the phrase ‘nuclear family’. It could also be a reference to the general toxicity of this societal norm.

The final line in this section of the song is “the dog bites the postman, as basement eyes dream of a night at the drive-in, with an AR-15”. Which is another use of juxtaposition, intended to cause a kind of whiplash in the listener and reinforce the idea that while in this place there is scenarios that would happen in a hollywood movie esque picture perfect neighbourhood, like the dog biting the postman, there's also horrors that lurk below the surface. (although clearly not TOO far below.)

Now let’s move on to the second part, ‘(Vampire) Culture’.

If you listen to the song, you’ll immediately be able to recognise where 'Greetings from The Marybell Township!' ends and ‘(Vampire) Culture’ begins, due to the insane juxtaposition between the two. Where 'Greetings from The Marybell Township!' is soft and sort of reminiscent of the 1950’s, ‘(Vampire) Culture’ is loud, jarring and grotesque, complemented with much raspier and strained sounding vocals compared to 'Greetings from The Marybell Township!' ’s soft and melodic ones. The tone for this section of the song is immediately set with much more graphic lyrics, the very first line of this section (after the opening scream) is “i dropped my eyeballs in the bonfire, we fucked on a bed of nails” which absolutely sets the scene for how different this section will be to the previous.

This song immediately jumps into using cannibalism as a metaphor, with the first line after the jump start opener being “I caught kuru from your sister, and I'm laughing in jail”. While this line is written to sound like the concept of catching an STD from an act of adultery, Kuru is actually a disease only found in human brain tissue, meaning that you can only contract this disease by eating a human brain, and what's one of the symptoms for this disease? Uncontrollable laughter.

This use of cannibalism as a metaphor is used again immediately after in the line “smell those screaming teenage sweetbreads on that 4th of July grill”, ‘sweetbread’ is the term used to refer to the pancreas and thymus gland of an animal, usually a lamb, but in this particular case it is in reference to the human teenagers that supposedly lived in The Marybell Township, or a least they did before they were dissected, cooked and served at a neighbourhood 4th of July barbeque hosted by the same people that were once referred to as their neighbours.

This line adds an interesting level of patriotism to the song and criticism of how America utilises patriotism and their love for their country as means to justify harming the youth, however a 4th of July neighbourhood barbeque is also commonly associated with white picket fence gated community America, which ties us back to the base criticism of that style of life and how it is seen as the “proper” and “perfect” way to live.

These cannibalistic sentiments are followed up with the line “smile and wave boys, kiss the cook, live laugh and love, please pass the pills.” which brings us back to the repeated use of commonly known sayings being taken directly or modified only slightly to remind the listener of the setting were in, that being a seemingly 1950’s era tight knit neighbourhood.

Phrases like “live laugh [and] love” or “kiss the cook” are both phrases that could easily be seen in a setting like this, especially “kiss the cook”, as this is a phrase commonly associated with aprons worn by grillmasters at neighbourhood barbeques, not unlike the cannibalistic 4th of July barbeque that this particular neighbourhood seems to be hosting.

These phrases being immediately followed up with a sentiment such as “please pass the pills” serves to entirely undermine the pleasantries that, until a moment ago, seemed to be plastered all over the faces of the people living in this fictional town that Wood has created. I think that final phrase brings the listener back to the realisation that not all is right here, quite the opposite in fact, and drags them from their momentary paradise.

Circling back very quickly to the phrase “smile and wave”. I felt the need to point out that this phrase has been used for centuries as a way to say “stop talking and act normal” which once again reinforces that these people are pretending to be something they’re not in order to fit in.

We enter the next verse with the repeated phrase “it's only culture”, after that line is repeated three times we hear “sulfur, smoke and soot”, which could either be a reference to how dirty and disgusting the ‘culture’ is, or it could be a different way of saying that this culture and the people participating are going to hell, as per the common phrase ‘fire and brimstone’ and the fact that sulfur is another way of saying brimstone, and smoke and soot are both byproducts of fire.

The last line of this verse and the first line of the chorus blend into each other, so I’ll speak on them both.

First, the last line of the verse. It goes “you cocked and sucked your lack of empathy, pulled the trigger with your foot to prove you've got-”

Putting aside the clear innuendo, this line refers to the idea of ending one's own life with a long shotgun. According to the media, by the time the gun is cocked and the barrel is in your mouth, you're not able to pull the trigger with your hands due to the length of the barrel. This line instead presents the solution of pulling the trigger with your foot to end your life.

So this person “cocked and sucked” the gun (cocked the gun and put the barrel in their mouth) before pulling the trigger with their foot to prove they’ve got-

And here's where the verse blends into the chorus.

Because the first line only consists of one word.

“Blood”.

The person who was shooting themselves with a shotgun only to prove that they bleed. Which is where the title of this section comes in. “(Vampire) Culture”. This section seeks to portray either the people in this culture or, the more likely option, the culture itself, as metaphorical vampires, who aim to destroy those around them. This knowledge makes the next line “didn't they want your blood, so why apologise for being blue and cold” make a lot more sense. After all, if these culture vampires have drained you of your blood, is it not their fault that you’re now “blue and cold”, as bodies tend to be if they lack blood flow. However, if you look at synonyms for the words “blue” and “cold”, you could also interpret this phrase as meaning “sad and apathetic”.

A sad and apathetic person doesn't seem to be the kind of person this ‘culture’ seeks to enlist however, and so one who is “blue and cold” is shunned as an outsider.

What Wood is getting at is that if this culture is the one who made you sad and apathetic, then you should not apologise to it for being so.

The next verse is short, and like the previous one, also blends into the chorus in the same way, by having the last line of the verse cut off right where the chorus would finish the sentence with the word “blood”. However in this verse, there's an interesting line. “It's only culture and it's more afraid of you than you are of it”, which is a sentiment usually used by adults to attempt to subdue a child's fear of something, usually insects. However it's interesting in the fact that it brings up the idea that this culture that has caused so much damage and harm is actually incredibly fragile, and would, in theory be very afraid of the concept of the individual, because if this ‘culture’ is only being held together by the silent agreeance that everyone will simply pretend, then the idea that there is people who refuse throws the whole idea into jeopardy.

This line is followed up however, by the line that blends it into the chorus. “Go on drink that-”, clearly intended to be finished by the first line of the chorus, making the full line, “go on drink that blood”.

This line is in reference to the phrase “drink the kool-aid” which essentially means to pledge your undying loyalty to something, a concept, a person, a god, etc. and it derives from an infamous mass cult suicide where over 900 people drank poisoned Kool-Aid and subsequently died for the cult. It is not a far cry to believe that this event and this phrase is what the line is referring to, as it's something that Wood has referenced in other songs, so it only makes sense to believe that this is what he means here.

After that chorus we move on to the bridge, which begins by listing 3 pairs of names, all famous or semi famous, and each pair being similar in one right but opposite in another, the line goes as follows; “were you Nabokov to a Sallinger, were you Jung to Freud or Dass to a Leary”, so let's break down these pairs one by one.

First “Nabokov to a Sallinger”, these names belong to Vladimir Nabokov and J.D. Sallinger, both authors who wrote famous books that both surround the theme of innocence, but in very different ways. Nabokov’s book “Lolita” is a story told from the perspective of a grown man about his sexual obsession and attraction to a little girl, and his desire to ruin her innocence, exploring the theme of innocence in a grotesque and frankly horrifying way, which is in stark contrast to Sallinger’s book “The Catcher in the Rye”, which explores the topic of innocence through the main characters desire to preserve their little sisters innocence, and in that desire displays hesitancy at the idea of sex themself. Both books explore the topic of innocence, however while one seeks to preserve it, the other seeks to destroy it, two sides of the same coin.

The next pairing is “Jung to Freud”, meaning Carl Gustav Jung and his mentor Sigmund Freud, who once again are similar in one right, but opposite in another. Jung and Freud both had theories on the nature of the human mind, but where Jungs was all about the concept of spirituality and how that ties into the collective unconscious, Freud's approach was much more focused on the individual unconscious and the concept of sexuality.

The final pairing is “Dass to a Leary”. both psychologists, both at the forefront of the ‘Harvard Psilocybin Project’ (before they both got dismissed from harvard entirely following controversies around the project) Richard Alpert and Timothy Leary were both psychologists and eventually authors who studied the effects of psychedelic drugs on the human mind, and while they were co workers they ended up with pretty conflicting views. Dr. Richard Alpert, who apparently ‘died’ and was ‘reborn’ as spiritual guide Ram Dass, centred his teachings heavily around the concept of living in the moment, (in fact his best selling book, written in 1971 was titled ‘Be Here Now’) and he believed that psychedelic drugs were not needed and that a permanent version of the same effects could be achieved through meditation. Whereas Dr. Timothy Leary advocated heavily for the use of psychedelics, believing that LSD specifically had great potential for therapeutic psychiatric use.

All of these pairings and examples utilise the concept of duality and speak on how every coin has two sides, which can easily be tied back to the idea that the picture perfect suburban life is just one side of the coin. This idea is then reinforced by the next line, “were you mother, daughter, subject and author?”, The use of the word ‘and’ here shows that it's possible to be two sides of the same coin at once, just like how this town, which is perfect on one side of the coin, is still terrible on the other side of the coin. The line is stating that it's possible to be both at once.

The very last line in this section is; “you don't make the rules, you just write them down and do it by the book you throw around”. This line combines a few relatively well known phrases. The first being of course ‘i don’t make the rules’, which can have two distinct meanings. The first is to express a kind of sympathy for someone being punished, and the second is to absolve yourself of the blame for that person being punished, a sort of ‘don't shoot the messenger’ situation.

The ‘rules’ that are likely being referred to here are the societal norms and expectations forced upon people who reside in these towns, the standard for ‘perfection’.

However, following this sentiment up with the phrase “you just write them down” is essentially saying that while it's not the fault of the people in these towns, they didn't create the norms, they still enforce them. They expect everything to be in line and perfect at all times, they follow these ‘rules’ to a T, and they shun and punish anyone who doesn't fit the standard and/or refuses to follow these ‘rules’, which is where the line “do it by the book you throw around” comes in, doing something ‘by the book’ means to follow rules strictly and to the letter, nothing out of line, and to throw the book at someone means to punish them as severely as possible, usually used in the legal sense to mean punishing someone for their crime as severely as the law will allow. So in all, the lyric “you don't make the rules, you just write them down and do it by the book you throw around” ends up meaning ‘you didn't create these norms but you still enforce them by following them to an absolute T and punishing anyone who doesn't.’

With that we enter the third and final section of the song, entitled ‘Love Me, Normally’, a title it shares with another song on the album, but of course this song is partially meant to serve as an overture for the whole album, meaning it shares some similar lyrics with lyrics from other songs on the album, so sharing a title isn't all that surprising.

The first lyric in this section is “do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash and burn?” which is another instance of duality in this song. Trailblazing or being a trailblazer means doing something no one has done before, paving the way for other people to follow in your footsteps, it comes from the literal act of creating a trail in the woods for people to follow, usually by creating notches in trees or setting small fires, hence ‘blazer’, as blaze is another word for a fire. However “slash and burn” is a method of deforestation that involves cutting down and burning a section of forest to create a field. Both examples include using fire to change something, but where one is seen as progress and positive, the other is negative, and seen as a means of destruction. Once again, two sides of the same coin, innovation and destruction.

This is followed up with the line “going against the grain and catching splinters”, which is a line i particularly like because while it is something that literally can happen, if you run your hand along wood in the opposite direction to the grain, you're more likely to get a splinter because you're essentially pushing your hand against the chips of wood, but it also is another metaphor for the dangers of not being the same. Going against the grain in this instance means daring to be different, not going the same way everyone else is going but instead the opposite of that, and in this example splinters are the consequences one would face for being different, especially in a setting like this perfect town, where everyone is the exact same as everyone else.

A little bit later you hear the line “well Lot he had his lot in life, Job his job and i guess you’ll too, and die”.

Lot and Job are both figures found in the Bible, whose names both share spelling with common English words, but are pronounced slightly differently.

Job, from the Book of Job, was a man that was tested by God, made to suffer to test his loyalty, his ‘job’ was to believe unendingly in God and see Him as always correct no matter what.

Lot, from the Book of Genesis, was a man who went through a lot, and the phrase ‘my lot in life’ is a phrase commonly used by people to write off/explain why they don't have it as good as others, they say it's simply their ‘lot in life’.

The end of this line “i guess you’ll too, and die” i believe refers to the fact that everyone will have their own job and their own lot in life, and then everyone in the end will die.

This theory is solidified by the fact that the next line is “The Lord looked down and said ‘hey, you're only mortal’” which is a play off of the phrase ‘you're only human’. Wood himself said that the phrase ‘you're only human’ has always felt weird to him, he says, “cause like, of course I am, aren’t we all? How is that fact supposed to help? I still feel bad. What does being human mean to you?”. He follows this up by saying that the idea of God saying "hey, you're only mortal" offers the same kind of sentiment, but in a “cosmically condescending” sort of way.

The following line reads “giveth and taketh away, till things come out a certain way, leave you wondering when they might go back to normal… leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal”.

This line presents a sort of hopelessness in the realisation that things are constantly changing, nothing is any more ‘normal’ than anything else, there's no such thing as ‘normal’, which is an overarching theme found throughout the album. Once again bringing back the fact that for all intents and purposes this song is an overture for the rest of the album.

To conclude, ‘Suburbia Overture’ is, in my opinion, one of the greatest criticisms of suburban, middle class, gated community, nuclear family life i've ever seen, it highlights the problems in that life and showcases how this kind of lifestyle in its incredibly rigid and restrictive standards is incredibly harmful to the very concept of individuality, because the expectations and unspoken rules set in communities like this and the widespread idea of forced normality seeks to crush any individuality before it even has a chance to blossom.

The use of metaphors and phrases that are well known and are likely to be seen in settings such as this gated community suburban town that Wood has created really paint a subconscious picture of what this community looks like, the use of duality, how every story has another side, and how nothing that is seemingly perfect from the outside is actually perfect on the inside.

Will Wood is an incredible lyricist and the fact that he was able to cram so much symbolism and such a powerful message into a song just over 6 minutes long is genuinely incredible.

Thank you for listening to my/reading my autistic hyper fixated rambling, i hope i didn't melt your brain too badly <3

[seat-safety-switch]

Part of the fun of having a big car is that you have big parts, too. A night out in the garage feels much more accomplished when you've been hauling around a starter the size of a large dog, instead of one merely the size of a small dog. Satisfaction is guaranteed when you have to break out the bigger pry-bar to get the job done. There is a downside to having a large car, though, and it's one that many residents of so-called suburbia are now having to reckon with.

The other year, I was coming home from a parole officer visit to see my neighbour parking in the driveway. A waste of a perfectly good garage, I thought. Then I realized: they must be parking in the driveway because their garage is full of cool car parts. I decided to make their acquaintance, and so began Project Be Social For Once In Your Life.

Unfortunately, this project failed. Or succeeded, depending on how you look at it (he made me the godfather to his newborn child, but so far no special powers have developed.) His garage was simply full of regular house bullshit, which accumulated there because his Ford Excursion didn't fit in the garage. That's right. Some asshole at the Ford dealership sold him a brand-new truck that was too big for his car hole, and now he was forced to scrape the snow and ice off his windshield for about three seconds before deciding to drive off with the windows covered anyway.

All this precious garage space was being wasted on worthless things like furniture and shrines to departed family members, when it could be used to store my beloved 1970s shitboxes. These are the very same cars that these garages were designed to hold! Soon, I was coming over to "hang out," but actually slip a Slant Six or two in amongst the piles of garbage.

Friends, this project, too, backfired. My neighbour decided he wanted to move to a bigger house, with a garage that his Ford could actually fit in, and his wife's identical Ford as well. He didn't even tell me, probably because I was in jail at the time for a minor disagreement about traffic law (jail is different from prison, which anyone who's been to either will tell you.) I returned home several months later to find the house put up for sale and my many 225s disappeared, along with unused fine china and a collection of Precious Moments figurines, into some wretched moving van.

I still hold out hope that he hasn't unpacked from the move yet, but has instead sequestered my almost-sixty-horsepowers worth of Slant Six goodness into yet another pile of untouched moving boxes in his new garage. For now, I roam the city, looking for Ford Excursions that don't fit in the garage. It is going to take me some time.

[darkdoelette]

Pastel goth purple house

[psilliguykai]

WELCOME TO WILLIAM’S WANTON WEARY WILES!

An impulsive, apathetic man’s misanthropic jams. An eclectic collection of futile dissensions, a pretentious pile of literary bile filled with self destructive theatrics and rectifying tactics and any other slew of showy words.

Welcome.

(Info under the cut)

*queue WTTH instrumental*

Hello boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in-betweens and welcome to William’s Wanton Weary Wiles, a Will Wood/WWATTW x CCCC AU! Consider this a masterpost. Note that this AU is still very much in development, and this post will be updated as things change/get added :] Also. being totally up front. I’ve never made an AU or attempted a story this complex before, so please bare with me if things get confusing! Feedback is appreciated ^^

Warning! WWWW tackles sensitive topics, but nothing foreign to Will Wood or Chonny Jash’s music. Appropriate warnings will be put in the tags of each post, but overall CW/TW for: alcoholism/addiction, mental health issues, suicidal ideation, manipulation, and (moderate) violence.

The WWWW AU story is very similar to the original CCCC album, but with slightly different themes and tone. It still follows HMSW after Whole splits, creating Heart, Mind, and Soul. However, each character and their dynamics + certain plot points (e.g the Juno incident) are altered.

Asks about this AU are extremely welcome! Could be genuine questions, thoughts, serious, silly - anything (so long as it’s SFW!) is great and will help me with making this a Better and Actual Thing :3

In WWWW each member of HMSW represents and is based off of a WW(ATTW) album. Each character’s songs are from their respective albums, and the story will be told in the form of a written series of covers of songs by WW/WWATTW (plus some visual pieces :]). These will be posted individually and linked here as they get released.

While HMSW still exist with the same vague concepts and color themes, they do diverge a decent bit from the original CCCC album and I would not consider them to be representations of canon HMSW (or of any real people - this includes Whole /srs). I’ll be creating and posting ref sheets for each character along with extra info across the next month or so. For now, here’s some overall important info on the AU/”lore” below :3

Important overall info: 

- HMS exists in a sort of parallel reality I’m calling Marybell (as a reference to Suburbia Overture as well as The Prescription). It’s a town within Will’s psyche that reflects his reality. It can change depending on his state of mind/current situation, and pretty much only exists to provide a physical space for HMS.

- Time loop!! Soul remembers every loop and knows the vague events that happen when Will is whole (though the memories are less clear than when he’s split). Heart and Mind don’t remember previous loops and aren’t really aware of anything when HMS is combined. Physical changes caused to any of HMS remain, even when the timeloop resets.

- LI does exist in WWWW! She’s about as significant as she is in CCCC and will probably get at least an intro, if not her own ref sheet at some point. I also have a sort of Darrell-equivelant which will probably get his own thing at some point as well, just later since HMSW are top priority at the moment ^^

Meet the cast: 

All characters have multiple names which can/will be used interchangeably. I’ve included the pronouns I think the characters would use, but you all are welcome to use whatever you’d like for any of them. Run free :3 here are the posts with the ref sheets for each of them - info on its own is below:

William

Jimmy/Laplace/Cotard

Whole:

- Whole/Will/William Racheal McSprout

- In Case I Make It

- He/him (GNC Cis Guy)

- 23-24 years old across the album

- Works at a small grocery/general tourist store

- Makes music as a side hobby. Not that successful lol. He makes decent stuff though - within the AU, the ICIMI covers featured would be considered his original music. 

- Spends his extra money on video games, alcohol, music equipment (sorta, though he mostly borrows shit and uses free programs), and serving cunt (fashion/makeup stuff)

- Not aware of HMS, though they’re aware of him. Mostly just feels a general sense of dissonance during splits, rather than Knowing the presence of these Multiple Actual Guys. Can’t interact with Marybell, same as HMS can’t (directly) interact with the “Real World”.

Soul:

- The Soul/Mr. Capgras/Cotard/Atlas

- He/it

- SELF-iSH

- Whole’s “self” - who he is at his core. His identity and personality at its most raw form. 

- He’s the most in-tune with Will’s actual state of being (health, emotions, etc.) and considers himself to somewhat be William, just separated and with pieces of himself missing. 

- Ultimate goal is to become a Happy Healthy and Alive Whole. Unlike in CCCC, the self-destruction is left more to H/M in this one .

- Knows he needs to get Heart and Mind to work together if he wants to keep William good and well, but he’s growing incredibly tired throughout the loops. He primarily experiences Will’s worst moments and rarely gets a break. Spends most of him life trying to get these. Fuckers. to get along and he’s so incredibly done with both of them. Growing distant, but ultimately does care about H/M on a personal level and really wishes they could all be happy together.

Mind:

- The Mind/Laplace/Al/Apollo

- He/she

- The Normal Album

- Whole’s logic, as well as his self-control and calculated decision making. Doing his best to keep Will stable and often doing so to the point of burnout.

- Primarily tries to keep Heart in check, to the point of excessively trying to control it and Soul. Wants to keep Whole productive and functional by any means necessary. 

- At the end of the day, he does want Whole to live a happy life, but (despite keeping up a facade of superiority and strength) fears Heart’s impulsiveness/ erratic nature and feels the need to over-compensate in order to keep Will safe. 

Heart:

- The Heart/Jimmy/Vestal/Artemis

- He/it

- Everything Is a Lot

- Whole’s emotions, as well as his impulsiveness and indulgence. Sometimes joy-seeking, sometimes self-destructive. Often those two go hand in hand.

- Focused on breaking free from Mind’s controlling nature, trying to get her and Soul to “live a little”. Wants to allow Whole unbridled indulgence (in every whim and emotion, including negative) often to the point of self-destruction. 

- Ultimately it knows he’s wrecking Will, but finds it’s the only way to assuage his suffering. He knows Mind is right about them needing to get their shit together, but finds him difficult to work with and listen to when he’s so excessively overbearing. 

Tracklist [<- the mini-master post with all the “songs” for this AU linked in order]

Tags:

Everything about this AU will be listed under the tags #wwww au and #william’s wanton weary wiles. 

Additional tags (color-coded according to character): #William Racheal McSprout, #Jimmy wwww, #Al wwww, and #Mr. Capgras wwww

Look out for updates over the next uh. While, I guess :D

[jedi-luca]

Avenger Lane Chapter 12: Wild Uncharted Waters

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 

Parings: Quinn Fabray x Reader / eventual Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Reader has a Penis, drug use, attempted abuse

Previous Chapter

“Papa, Halloween tonight?” Finley asked as you sipped your coffee and pushed the cart.

“A few more days bub.” You say lifting up a decoration.

“Mom, can we be Barbie?” Beth asked Quinn as they looked through the costumes.

“No mommy! No Barbie!” Fin huffed. “I wanna be Ariel!”

“I���m surprised she didn’t say Bluey.” You muttered lowly for your wife to hear before turning towards your toddler. “It’s okay, squirt. Quinn, you be Barbie with Beth and I’ll be Prince Eric.” You gesture to the costume. 

“But then who will be Ken?” Beth huffed.

“I’ll be Prince Eric and Prince Ken.” You shrug. “Two birds, one stone.”

“No! We need beach Ken! Moooooom!” Beth whined.

“Well then take a page out of Barbie’s book. Ken is just there; she doesn’t need him to help define her.” You say to your oldest.

“Nice.” Quinn nodded with a grin.

“Fine.” Beth sighed.

“Yayyyy! Ariel!!!!!” Fin shouted in joy.

“Sorry.” Quinn chuckled at a couple looking over with a smile.

“Your girls are so adorable.” The woman smiled before rolling off.

“Can uncle Kurt make ours?” Beth gasped.

“Here, give him a call to see what he says.” You chuckled, handing the phone over. Truthfully you know he’s busy he’s been working on the spring collection to be ahead of the game.

“Hi uncle Kurt!” Beth smiled as she twirled around. “I’m good; you?” She giggled looking over at you and Quinn. “I was wondering if you could make our costumes for Halloween?……Mom and I are going as Barbie and pop and Fin are Prince Eric and Ariel.” 

“Really?! Oh Uncle Kurt I’m so excited! Okay! See you then bye love you!” Beth hung up, handing you the phone. “Oh my gosh uncle Kurt and Blaine are gonna help me and Fin make ours tonight they said you just have to get us there.”

“You got it.” You grinned.

“I’ll drop them off before we get ready for tonight.” Quinn nodded. “Would have been a little better if we took them tomorrow night instead. Since the musical is tomorrow night.”

“Awww aunt Rachel’s having an opening night.” Beth sighed. 

“You can catch it next time.” Quinn smiled.

“Yuck musicals!” Fin stuck her tongue out.

“She got that from you.” Quinn glared at you.

“I didn’t say anything, and besides Beth we’re going to the fair tomorrow.” You chuckled as Quinn glared at you walking towards the halloween bags. You high fived Fin before handing her a puppuccino. You chuckled seeing whip cream all over her tiny face. “Tasty!” She giggled looking up at you. Beth giggled at her sister's mess. You snapped a picture before wiping her face. 

“We’re really going to the fair?” Beth asked.

“Yup! Nat, Nate, and Lila are coming with us.”

“Oh awesome! I can’t wait!” Beth squealed before listing off all the rides she wants to try out now, finally being older and tall enough.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

After dropping off the girls the two of you dressed up in your costumes and walked towards Thor’s house.

“Danny, Sandy, welcome!” Thor chuckled letting you and Quinn inside. 

“Zeus huh? Here I thought you’d be Thor the Norse God.” You grinned.

“I thought it was a bit on the nose.” Thor nodded before leading you both to the party.

Tony and Pepper were mobsters who were talking to Steve and Bucky as Maverick and Goose. When you caught sight of a certain redhead.

You gulped looking at Natasha who donned a catsuit that was clad against her curvy body. 

“Out to fight crime?” You rasped.

“Too many greasers on this street.” She winked.

You chuckled letting your hand run through your hair. “I feel a little ridiculous. I wanted to be a firefighter.” You shrugged.

“Don’t it’s…” Natasha gulped. “It’s working.” You looked so unbelievably dreamy to her she didn’t think that was possible. She already finds you charming and now with the clad white t shirt and leather jacket. Not to mention your ass looks great in those black jeans, and if she looks a little longer she can make out your package. 

“I still think the firefighter would have been cooler.” You shrugged.

“Oh my gosh enough about the firefighter!” Quinn rolled her eyes as she walked up.

Natasha chuckled as Bruce walked up.

“Hey Bruce.” You grinned. “Nice Batman costume.”

“Thanks! You know it’s basically the one from the movies you can punch it and I won’t feel a thing. Come on, try it.”

“I shouldn’t.” God, I wanna punch you in the face. You shook your head.

“Come on grease lightning show me whatchu got.” He taunted.

“Bruce.” Natasha warned him.

“What? How bad can it-“ suddenly he felt you strike him in the stomach and lost his breath. “Oh my God.” He gasped.

“Great form Y/L/N!” Steve clapped.

“Y/N!” Quinn growled, yanking you away.

“What? He told me too!” You huffed.

“This is supposed to be the real thing! What happened?” Bruce gasped.

“You asked someone who boxes to punch you. What did you think was going to happen?” Natasha rolled her eyes leaving Bruce to grab a drink.

“Wait, boxes?” His eyes widened.

Bucky rolled his eyes at Quinn who glared at Steve. “Okay you need to tell Y/N what you saw.”

“I know.” Steve sighed.

“Why haven’t you said anything?” Bucky hissed.

“Because I wanted to deal with our situation first. I’m glad I did. I want Y/N to believe me.” Steve explained.

“Well you need to let them know soon they deserve to know.”

“I know Buck.” Steve sighed.

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“Y/N!” You turned looking for who called out your name.

“Pssst Y/N!” 

You huffed feeling a candy corn hit your head. Looking over at the culprit it was none other than Thor himself. 

He didn’t speak but he did gesture to having a smoke or in other words ‘cheifin’, ‘sesh’, or ‘420’.

You looked back at your wife. “Go on, I'm gonna catch up with Christine Strange.”

You grinned as he waved you over away from the party towards the backyard.

“What’s up Danny Zuko!” Val smirked, already sitting on a patio chair.

“What’s up.” You chuckled as she waved around a blunt. “Ooooh yes please.”

Carol laughed sitting next to her wife.

“What’s up Quill, Gamora!” You grinned giving them a side hug. “What are you guys?”

“Oh I’m Jason!” Peter quickly placed his mask on.

“Freddy Krueger.” She said, lifting up her knife hand.

“Spooky.” You chuckled. “And you two?” You nod towards Carol and Val.

“I’m the moth, she's the flame.” Carol smirked, leaning over to peck Val’s cheek.

“Hey Y/N! I got us all drinks that blend well with the blunt.” Korg grinned while walking outside.

“Hey Korg, long time no see! I haven’t seen you at the gym lately.” You smiled while taking the Halloween themed drink.

“I just got married actually.” He smiled.

“Congratulations man!” You smiled.

“Thanks!” Korg blushed.

“So where is the lucky lady?”

“She’s at work right now but she helped me make the couples game tonight!”

“Couples game?” You asked as the rotation made its way to you. You took it gladly before inhaling.

“Yeah! It’s like a game show for couples.” Korg nodded as you handed it to him.

“Cool.” You said before exhaling.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

Natasha looked around wondering where you went off too. She hasn’t you since you punched Bruce. All she sees is Quinn talking to Christine as Stephen looks bored.

“Looking for a certain greaser?” 

Natasha looked over at Wanda. “Maybe.” 

“I think I saw Y/N go out back.” Vis pointed.

“Thanks… great costumes by the way. What superhero are you guys supposed to be?”

“Whatever we had to make.” Vision shrugged.

“Gotcha.” Nat nodded before going out back.

“Damn it, Vis.” Wanda whined.

“What?”

“You told her where Y/N is.”

“And?”

“Y/N is married and she-“ Wanda looked around before harshly whispering. “She has feelings for Y/N.”

Vis sighed. “Honey if she does you can’t stop it. No one can. The heart will always want what it wants.”

“Still.” Wanda grumbled. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

Meanwhile back outside.

“Nat hi!” You smiled with a dopey grin on your face.

“Hey Stoney Bologna.” She smiled walking over.

“Hey Nat.” Everyone coughed.

She looked around for a seat.

“Here take mine.” You cleared your throat standing up.

“Oh no you don’t have to do that.” She says, shaking her head.

“Please I-“

“Just sit on Danny’s lap!” Carol smirked.

“You’re so bad.” Val muttered in her ear watching you bring Natasha on your lap.

“Oh baby I can be really bad.” Carol husked back.

“Fuck.” Val chuckled darkly, feeling her cock harden.

“Hi.” Nat shuttered.

“Hey. Are you cold?”

“A bit.”

You quickly shrugged your jacket off bringing it around her and you like a blanket. She felt your arms snake around her and laid her arms over yours.

“Thank you.” She said softly.

“Anytime.” You grinned. “Wanna try my drink? Korg made it. It’s really good.”

“Sure.” The redhead moved towards the table causing you to gulp seeing her back side as she stretched for the drink

Val smirked at you checking Natasha out. “How ya doing over there Y/L/N?”

“Good.” You grunted as the redheaded Russian moved again this time bringing the drink with her.

Val and Carol giggled as the blunt came to you both.

“Let’s play suck and blow.” Val smirked.

“What’s that?” Nat asked.

“Well you inhale and exhale in Y/N's mouth then Y/N will do it in Carols.” Val smirked.

“Nat, you don’t have too.” You say before making a face at Val.

“I can do it.” The red head inhaled before turning towards you.

You leaned in parting your lips as she blew smoke into your mouth, her lips ghosting over yours. You inhaled her eyes looking at your lips. You broke the trance turning towards Carol. Exhaling in the same manner. She doesn’t know why but seeing you so close to Carol sort of made her jealous. 

You pulled back, noticing a change in the atmosphere.

“You okay?” You whispered near her ear. “Do you need water or anything?”

She shook her head.

One of your arms dropped from her waist resting on her knee. You gave her a light squeeze.

“You sure?”

She smiled softly before relaxing in your arms. “I think I’m just high.” 

You chuckled about to move your hand when she placed hers over yours. She squeezed your hand feeling your thumb gently rubbing against her knee.

“So I’m not dumb they’re clearly into one another.” Korg whispered to Thor watching Nat giggle at whatever you said. 

“Hmhm.” He nodded, texting his wife to make sure Quinn didn't come outside. 

It’s not that they want them to cheat, they just want them to realize they can do so much better. It all started back when Tony had his block party. Slowly the gang all realized Quinn and Bruce were awful and did not deserve you or Natasha.

“Can you imagine them fucking? My God the steam that would come off of them.” Carol smirked looking at you and Nat.

“Fuck that’s hot stop making me hard.” Val muttered while taking a drink.

“Wanna go take care of it?” Carol smirked.

“Uh we’ll meet you guys inside.” Val spoke abruptly standing up with Carol.

“They're gonna do it in the restroom.” You chuckled.

“How do you know?” Nat chuckled.

“I just know.”

“Alright guys we’re going inside so we can get ready for the game.” Korg smiled before walking back inside.

“I guess we should go too?”

Natasha stood giving you a perfect view of her plump latex covered ass in your face. She turned smirking down at you, clearly catching you checking her out.

“Thanks for keeping me warm.”

“Anytime.” You grinned standing up taking your jacket back shrugging it on. Watching her walk towards the sliding door giving her ass an extra sway. She looked so sexy in that suit now all you could think about was taking it off of her. You were incredibly blue balled and needed release as soon as possible.

You both walk back inside and she gets pulled away by Wanda so you walk over to your wife holding her from behind to show her how hard you are.

“Oh my gosh.” She says turning in your arms.

“Quickie in the bathroom?”

She blushes and nods before turning to Christine. “Excuse us.”

As soon as the door closes you kiss your wife before twirling her against the sink. You unbutton her skin tight pants, pulling them down just a bit before pulling your jeans down. You rub your throbbing member against her slit. It's been a while since you both have done this.

You gather enough wetness before pushing inside of her. You moan hands on her hips as she grips the sink and the wall.

“Fuck!” You grunt, thrusting harder and harder.

She lets go of the sink reaching down below to rub her clit. “Fuck I’m close.” 

“Let go.” You grunt wrapping your arms around her as she moves back against you cuming around your cock. “That’s it. Fuck I’m gonna cum too.” You close your eyes imagining Natasha with her catsuit. A few short hard thrusts and you finally came and you came hard.

You pant trying to catch your breath feeling yourself deflate. Quinn pushes you back a bit as you slip out. She turned to sit on the toilet as you stuff yourself back in your jeans leaning your back against the wall as you catch your breath.

Quinn watched you through the mirror as she washed her hands. She briefly wonders why you were so hard and practically begged her silently for sex. She saw what Natasha was wearing but she didn't push it. Things have been tense like walking on thin ice that’s already cracking under her feet. She can feel her grasp on you is loosening. She's terrified of losing you completely.

“Ready?” You asked.

She turned and kissed you softly. “I am now.”

You cleared your throat as she fixed your hair and opened the door.

Natasha felt a little sad watching you walk in hand with your wife. She knows you two must have done the deed in the restroom. Vis mentioned hearing two people going at it earlier. She reminds herself that you’re married, and as much as she doesn’t like Quinn. It doesn’t change anything.

“Okay everyone my good friend Korg here is leading the couples game! Everyone take a seat please!” Thor gave a dopey smile, his arm around his wife Jane. He was a little tipsy and a bit high.

“Alllllllright welcome to Love on Avenger Lane! Where I, your host, will be quizzing you on how well you know your partner.” Korg beamed as his friend Meek handed out whiteboards, markers, and erasers. 

“We’ll start off with an easy one! First question: what is your boo’s favorite color?”

“Alright let’s have it!” Krog grinned as everyone turned their boards. 

“What? I hate that color.” Bucky huffed when Steve looked at his board. 

“We got our first wrong answer already!”

“But I thought you liked black.” Steve frowned.

“Ohh Steve said black, Bucky your favorite is?”

“Red.” He said..

“But you always wear black!” Steve threw his hands up.

“Black isn’t a color Steve!”

“And Buck Steve’s favorite is?” Korg moved along.

“Blue.” He muttered.

Steve felt guilty as that was his favorite color.

“Ohhh Bucky got it right. Tony? Pepper?”

The older couple smiled as they revealed their correct answers.

“We win.” Tony high-fived his wife.

“Psh we haven’t even gone yet.” Thor huffed.

“Alright let’s see it then?” Korg grinned.

Jane and Thor showed their boards both revealing Blue. 

“Nice!” They grinned.

“Y/N? Quinn?”

You and Quinn revealed your answers.

“Nice.” You grinned pecking your wife’s cheek.

“Nat, Bruce?”

Natasha sighed holding up her answer knowing he was going to get it wrong, but to her surprise he was correct.

“You got it.” She smiled softly.

“Like your eyes.” He shrugged.

You cleared your throat not meaning to ruin the moment, but subconsciously doing it out of jealousy. You don’t know why but Bruce was like nails on a chalkboard for you. You haven’t felt this way about a person since Rachel Berry.

“What is their favorite song?” Korg grinned.

Bruce cringed, holding up his answer.  

“Anything from Sia.” Yeah no that doesn’t fly it’s not who is their favorite artist it’s what is their favorite song. Natasha?”

“I fold.” She chuckled with a shrug.

“I’m not big on music.” Bruce shrugged.

“Easy, it's American Pie.” you grinned.

Natasha smiled, you remembered the story about her family and that song. You didn’t even notice the look of disdain your wife was making.

“Uhhh right okay Y/N? Quinn?” Korg stuttered.

Quinn grinned writing hers but when you held your boards up your smile fell.

“What? It's always been ‘Signs by bloc party” Quinn furrowed her brow.

“It's Golden Brown by The Stranglers.” Natasha looks up not realizing she spoke out loud.

“Oof this is awkward.” Korg chuckled into the mic, noticing the look on Quinn’s face. “Tony? Pepper?”

“Shoot to Thrill and Cruisin’ Correct again!

You zoned out as the others went on until the next question came up.

“Alright, what is your partner's favorite morning drink?”

You once again got Quinn’s right and she once again answered wrong.

“But you always start your morning with a protein smoothie.” she huffed.

“A cup of coffee with Silk creamer, especially the coconut.” Natasha winked at you.

Quinn was fuming how can she get your favorite drink but not her own husbands?

“Nat and Bruce?” Korg moved along.

“Coffee black.” they both answered.

Korga mimicked a buzzer sound.

“Breakfast tea.” Bruce smiled.

“Hot mocha with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” You muttered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Quinn furrows her brows at you. She didn’t like that you knew so much about the redhead. She wanted you to be focused solely on her.

“So it’s clear the two of you should be together.” Korg joked not realizing both parties were wildly uncomfortable. “Should not have said that…Moving on! Favorite movie!”

The couples began writing out their answers. Each couple was getting them right until once again Natasha and Bruce were up. They both answered wrong.

“It’s James Bond’s Moonraker.” You grinned.

Quinn bristled, writing hers down. 

“Okay; Y/N? Quinn?”

“Star Wars episode 6.” Quinn smiled in triumph; she knows this has to be it. She’s certain as she held up her board.

“It’s The Heat.” Natasha chuckled.

“I think I know my-“

“She’s right.” You mutter before holding yours up.

“Funny Girl, the Rachel Berry version. Yeah bud, that's not a movie.” Korg chuckled.

“Fine. Frozen.”

“Why would you say that?” Quinn hissed.

“You got a thing for Berry.” You rolled your eyes.

“That’s thick considering you and Jolene over there have been getting your answers right all night.”

“Did she just call me Jolene?” Natasha chuckled to Bruce who cringed.

“At least she knows me.” You mutter.

“Uhh so things are getting a little heated let’s just say the winner of the night is Tony and Pepper. Congrats you won a bottle of champagne.”

“I want to go home. Now.” Quinn grit in your ear.

“That’s probably best.” You nodded still pissed off.

You both stood and you waved at Thor. “Thanks for the invite man, sorry shit got awkward.” You sighed as Quinn slammed the door.

“Aw come on you can’t leave yet! I was gonna ask if you could play a few songs?”

“Yeah let’s jam out!” Carol shouted.

“Maybe next time guys.” You shake your head. “Thanks again Thor.” You walk towards the front door seeing Natasha nearby. “I’m sorry about that, Nat, have a goodnight.”

“You have to stop apologizing for her.” Nat sighs and you just nod.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.” you say before walking out the door.

The walk home was silent. She was so far ahead of you which would normally make you upset but tonight you really just don’t care anymore.

You walk in the house locking it behind you before heading up stairs grabbing your shorts.

“So we’re not talking about it?” Quinn huffed as you stood by the bedroom door.

“Nope.” You answer, she scoffs in response as you walk off towards the guest room. You didn’t know what to do anymore. You were at a loss. It just didn’t feel like your marriage was working anymore. You squeeze your eyes shut, too tired to even pull that thread.

The following morning was silent. You did your normal routine breakfast, protein smoothie, and working out. You really needed it this morning. You gotta clear your head.

You and Quinn do your very best to avoid one another. Things were boiling and the cover of the pot was rattling off. You got the girls back from Kurt’s and by the time you got home she was gone.

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You were actually looking forward to the fair. Normally you didn’t care for them. Everything was dirty and sticky. The food was outrageously overpriced as are the rides, but being able to go with your girls and Natasha makes it all worth it.

You knock on her door as Fin rings the bell.

“Natttttty!” Fin giggled ringing the bell. “Natttttttyyyyy Fair!”

“I’m here, I'm here!”

“Hi Natty, I missed you.” Your daughter giggled.

“Hi sweetheart I missed you too. Hi Beth, have you been practicing?”

“Everyday!” She beams.

“That’s great dorogoy!” Natasha smiled before turning towards you. “I’m just going to get the kids.”

“Alright we’ll meet you at Clints.” You say walking towards your truck. You buckle Fin in her seat with Beth next to her.

You drive down across the street towards the Bartons when Natasha is walking out with Nate in her arms, the car seat in the other.

You hop out and fix up his car seat next to Fin’s as Beth and Lila go over the rides.

“No Cooper?” You ask Nat.

“He has a date tonight. I swear he’s growing up too fast.” Natasha whines.

“Yeah they do that alright.” You mutter looking in the rear view mirror at your girls.

“How has everything been?” She asks hesitantly.

“Not good.” You mutter.

“Well hopefully some overpriced food and funnel cake will take your mind off of everything for a bit.”

“I do love funnel cakes.” You chuckle.

“I know.” Natasha smiles.

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“Ooohh aunty Nat a Ferris wheel!” Lila beamed pointing at the lights.

“You two join the kids. Kate and I will grab some food with Mini Y/N.” Yelena smiled, nuzzling her nose against Fin’s cheek.

“Thank you.” You chuckled walking with Nat and the kids to the ferris wheel.

“I’m sorry if my sister is being bit much-“

“I love her, she's hilarious. This is the most I’ve laughed all week. Also you may have a competition now with Lena over Finley.”

“Finny and Nate are mine, she needs to back off.” She huffed making you laugh. 

The kids sit down when it’s yours and Natasha’s turn.

“I just want to say you two have the most beautiful family.” The carney smiled.

You clear your throat. “Thank you.”

“That’s the third time tonight.” Nat chuckled while sitting down.

“Well we can’t blame them, we are all incredibly good looking.” You give her the goofiest model face you can muster making her laugh. The Ferris wheel begins to move and Natasha out of habit takes your hand.

“You scared?” You ask.

“A bit.” She nods looking down.

“Don’t look down, focus on the music.”

“Are they playing Careless Whisper?” Natasha snickered as the ride slowly began going.

You chuckled, taking her finger and began singing.

“Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now, who's gonna dance with me?”

Natasha giggled and you stretched your arm around her as you looked down at your daughter Beth making sure she’s okay. She was laughing with Lila. 

The Ferris wheel is playing romance music and you both can’t help but chuckle at the cheesy songs they play. That is until it’s your turn at the top. One of your favorite old songs began playing. It was Sing by Travis.

“I love this song.” You whispered.

“Sing it to me.” Natasha whispered back.

“Baby, you've been going so crazy 

Lately, nothing seems to be going right 

So low, why'd you have to get so low?

You're so…

You've been waiting in the sun too long”

“You have a really beautiful voice Y/N.”

“You do too ya know.” You give her lopsided grin.

Natasha blushes and looks up at the giant moon. “The moon is beautiful.” She says blissfully looking at the giant glowing moon.

“Yeah.” You briefly look but you can’t help but stare at her; entranced in a way by the glistening twinkle in her eyes.

She turns, feeling your gaze on her and she’s giving you that look. You’ve seen this look before. The ‘If you don't kiss me right now I might die’ look. It happened on the night of your birthday. You’ve seen it on your wife obviously, but you’ve also seen that same look on Sersi’s face, and a few other women. You never really had that feeling for them, but here now with Nat you’re questioning everything for the second time in your marriage. 

You look down at those very kissable lips. Subconsciously briefly licking your own lips before dragging your eyes up to her striking emerald eyes instead of the hazel you’re used to. Meanwhile she’s doing the same thing, both of you leaning towards one another when the song ended the Farris wheel continued its descent. You clear your throat as you break eye contact and look away.

The ferris wheel came to a stop when you both got out.

“That was boring.” Beth sighed, you wouldn’t know this for a while but Beth saw how close you and Nat were.

“How about that roller coaster over there!?” Lila beamed.

“Yeah! Can we!?” Beth asked.

“Sure.” You say lifting up Finley while Natasha takes Nate from Kate.

“We’ll take the kids.” Yelena grins, leaving you and Natasha to the fried feast. 

There’s a heavy silence in the air as you both eat.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you.” She sighs.

“Okay?” You furrow your brows.

“Well hey neighbors!” Tony chuckled while sitting down. “Thanks for the invite by the way.”

Natasha inwardly sighed of course he would get in the way.

“Sorry Tony.” You chuckled. 

“Because of this I’m taking some cotton candy.” He winked.

“Where’s Morgan?” You asked.

“I left her with Yelena and Kate.”

“Oh nice.” You chuckled and excused yourself to the restroom. “I’ll be right back.” 

Natasha waits for you to be out of ear shot.

“You idiot you just had to interrupt!”

“What?!” Tony huffed.

“I was literally about to tell Y/N everything!”

“Ohhh.” Tony bit his lip. “I can scram.”

“No, it's too late.”

“I’m glad blondie isn’t here. She’d suck all the fun out of this place. Can you believe her attitude last night?”

“I didn’t care for her Jolene comment.” Natasha grumbled taking a sip of her lemonade.

You walked up taking a seat eating your corn dog as the girls walked up.

“Papa! I want some too!” Fin whined.

“Don’t worry, love, you can have one too.” Yelena smiled.

“That was so much fun!” Beth said, taking a seat and eating her chicken tenders.

“Kate, are you feeling okay?” Yelena chuckled.

“Everything is spinning.” She groaned.

“Can’t take the heat anymore?” Tony smirked

“Excuse me.” Kate gagged before running towards a trash can.

“I’ll go take care of her.” Yelena sighed, handing you Fin. 

“Nooo Lennnna.” Fin whined.

“I’ll be back, lovebug.” She smiled, booping her nose.

“I feel betrayed.” Nat frowned.

“Hi Natty.” Fin smiled offering some of her corn dog.

“Thank you, Finny.” Natasha took a fake bite humming in response.

“Tasty.” Finley beamed before taking another bite.

“Aunty Natty!” Nate whined wanting her attention back.

“I’m right here handsome.” She chuckled, bouncing him on her leg as a reminder before feeding him a chicken tender.  

Tony looked over at you watching the way you looked at the redhead. He knows that look, it can’t be described by anything else but love.

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After another round of rides and too much funnel cake Beth asked to spend the night with Morgan and Lila. Yelena and Kate went back to school so it was just you the tots, and Natasha.

“Well thanks for coming with us tonight. Looks like they’re conked out.” Natasha smiled looking behind to see the two toddlers sound asleep in their car seats.

“Hmm.” You smile.

“Wanna come inside for a bit?”

You nod and you grab Nate’s car seat and Natasha takes Fin in her arms. It all felt so domestic seeing her holding your little girl, and you holding Nate.

You both lay then down on her sofa covering them up before walking into the kitchen. Natasha starts the kettle pulling down the tea box.

“Blackberry sage, my favorite.” You smiled softly.

“It’s now my favorite too. It's so good.” Natasha smiled, pulling down the honey and peeling an orange.

“Thank you, Nat.”

“So you wanna talk about it?”

“I have never wanted to be away from her in my life, and lately?” You sighed, rubbing your head as the kettle began boiling. “I just feel like I’m the only one trying anymore, and I’m so tired of it.” 

Natasha nodded in understanding before turning off the kettle and fixing your cup. She briefly wondered if she should tell you the truth but considering Quinn is at Rachel’s musical right now she decides it’s still not the time.

“You know what, no I don’t wanna talk about Quinn. What about you?”

“Well…” Natasha brings the cups over sitting down across from you. “I took your advice, or Hilary Duff’s and spoke with Thor and Val.”

“You did?” You beamed.

“Hmhm, I get my studio this week.” She smiled coyly.

“Nat, that is fantastic! I'm so happy for you. If you need help with anything I’m here for you.” You smile and she bashfully says thank you.

You both drink tea and talk about her plans for the next hour when you yawn.

“I should probably head home. I'm pretty tired.” You stretch standing up.

She nods and takes both our mug placing them in the sink before watching you lift Fin. She whines briefly before you whisper to her, calming her down. “Goodnight Nat.” You smile.

“Goodnight Y/N.” She whispers opening the door for you.

“Natty.” Fin whispers in her sleep. 

“Shhh its okay.” The Russian whispers kissing her cheek when you bring her in a hug carful not to crush or wake Fin.

“Thank you, for everything.” You whisper gently, kissing her cheek.

She nods and kisses your cheek in response. You both sigh hearing Fin babbling in her sleep. You squeeze her hand before making your way back home. She stays on her porch watching you walk inside your home before shutting the door. She was falling so hard for you with no end in sight.

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You made your way downstairs seeing a redhead at the stove. She was setting a tray of what looked like cupcakes down. 

“Hi.” You furrowed your brows with a smile.

“Hi.” She smiled back dipping her finger in batter before sticking it out for you to try. “Come on, try it. I know you want to.” She smirked turning toward you when you noticed she was wearing nothing but an apron. “Come on baby, take it.” She murmured now flush against you her finger found its way into your mouth. 

“Hmm.” You hummed as she took her finger back, replacing it with her lips. “Natasha.” You sighed against her lips feeling her hand rubbing your cock.

“Don’t you wanna taste me?”

Your eyes fluttered hearing her voice near your ear. 

“You’re drooling Y/N.” 

You reached up, wiping your mouth.

“Take me Y/N. Take me and make me yours.” She husked before you lifted her up against you kissing her passionately before setting her down on the island.

You pull at her apron, shoving your pants down making your cock spring to life. 

“Get inside of me I can take it.” She husks.

You groan feeling her wet cunt.

“Ohhhhh fuck!” She moaned as you pushed yourself through.

You groaned feeling your staff twitch inside of her. You lifted her legs on your shoulder pushing yourself deeper. 

“Ohhhh Y/N! Oh daddy that feels so good! You’re so deep inside of me!” Her guttural moans were nearly pornographic. You lean in, taking her lips against yours. “Harder!”

You grunted, speeding up the pace as you thrusted harder and harder. 

“Oh daddy right there! You’re so much better than Bruce he doesn’t even compare to you daddy, not even close.”

Her moans turned into wails. You could feel her twitch around you.

“Cum inside of me daddy I wanna feel you explode inside of me!”

You woke up with a gasp. You looked over seeing your wife asleep before noticing the time. It was 4 in the morning and you just came inside your boxers. “Fuck.” You whispered before quietly getting out of bed. You sighed, taking off the sticky shorts before cleaning up. It’s been a long time since you had a wet dream, but it was the absolute best fucking vivid sex dream you’ve ever had. 

You furrowed your brows seeing her phone light up. You creeped on her side of the room peeking at her phone.

‘Appointment for tubal ligation reversal’

You gasped she had her tubes tied this whole time. She was clearly lying about being pregnant. I fucking knew it! You inwardly screamed.

You seriously don’t even know where to start with her. She’s a liar and a big one. Now you’re really wondering if it was her that stole your dream away. You look down at her sleeping peacefully and for the very first time ever you wanted to deck your wife in the face. You wouldn’t of course but still the anger and betrayal was beaming at the edges.

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The following morning Quinn woke up and you weren’t there. She figured maybe you were still upset with her and when you noticed her in bed you left. Either way she feels like you’re starting to hate her. She bites her lip feeling like she wants to cry. She can feel herself losing you everyday. It’s like every single move she makes pushes you further and further away. It’s only now that she realizes she has someone that others would kill for. 

She got out of bed grabbing her robe and began searching for you. She went to the guest room and the girls rooms and couldn’t find you. She made her way downstairs noticing your running shoes were gone and Ollie was sitting by the door crying. She sighed that was a bad sign. You only run to clear your head especially when you’re extremely stressed out. She knows because you hate cardio. You're more of a lifting weights person you always have been. Plus you skipped breakfast which means you’re running long distance this morning.

When you do come back home you ignore her completely, only speaking to the girls. When she tried to speak to you all you replied was “I really need my space from you today. Please respect that.” Quinn in shock agrees and walks on eggshells every time she’s near you. She has to hand it to you though you do a great job of hiding it from the girls.

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You were thoroughly warned by Wanda this morning who said that there’s tons of kids who get bussed over here, and that you will need a lot of candy. It ended up working out perfectly. Quinn and Brittany are gonna hand out candy while you and Santana take the girls and Arlo trick or treating. 

Wanda also mentioned that your house wasn’t as spooky as the others and handed you two boxes of old Halloween decorations including a 10 foot tall skeleton. 

You and Santana were fixing up the front of the house when the Latina spoke up.

“Quinn mentioned you two have been fighting a lot lately. That you’re not even speaking to her.”

You sighed she always talks to them about the problems in your marriage. You hate when she drags them in your fights.

“Come on, I won't say anything to her. What happened Y/N I haven’t seen you this upset since she sold your motorcycle.

“I found out she has her tubes tied and lied to me about being pregnant. Really makes me wonder what else she's hiding from me.”

“She lied to you about being pregnant?” Santana said in shock.

“I was offered my dream job and she told me I couldn’t take it because she’s pregnant.”

“What a bitch. I’m sorry, Y/N, I swear I had no idea. What are you going to say to her?”

“Honestly I don’t know. I’m just so upset with her I can’t even look at her.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I wanted to hit her when I found out.” You sighed pausing your motions.

Santana looked taken back.

“You know I wouldn’t but fuck she’s just been so fucking unbearable lately. She embarrassed me at the party the other night. She’s trying to tell me who I can’t hang out with. She’s just so unbearable.”

“I’ll slap her for you, I just need to find the right opening.” Santana cackled.

“Hey can I ask you something?” You say causing Santana’s eyes to soften.

“Of course tonto.” She huffed shoving you back a bit.

“I-I’ve been having sex dreams.”

“Of who me?! Y/N I can’t say I never thought about it, but-“

“What?! No you weirdo you’re like a sister to me. Ugh gross, as if.” You cringed.

“Ass. You should be so lucky. Who is it then?” She rolled her eyes. “I swear if you say B I’m kicking your ass.”

“It’s… it’s Natasha.” You mutter.

Santana’s brows raised as she began smirking. “So Q is on the money you have the hots for your neighbor.”

“What? No, no, Nat is a friend, I just somehow keep-“

“Having hot sexy dreams of her?” Santana taunted you.

“Will you stop it! Ugh, forget I even said anything.” You growled about to walk away when she stopped you. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. So you’re having sex dreams about Natasha.” Santana shrugged. “She’s hot, it's natural to have those urges towards her.”

“But it just feels so… wrong. She’s a really good friend, and Quinn already has suspicions. I just don’t know how to-“

“How to stop the dreams?”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t; they're just sex dreams Y/N, but if you’re feeling more than just lust for her than that’s when you have a problem. Lusting after her, that's ok it’s natural for you to want to be balls deep inside of a woman like her, but it’s when you start having feelings for her that’s the problem.”

You nod when Natasha walks up.

“Hi Y/N, hey Santana, good seeing you again.” Nat smiles.

“Hey Natasha.” She smirks at you.

“What are you two doing?”

“Wanda told me to hang up more decorations.”

“She’s pretty obsessed with this holiday.” She chuckled.

“Halloween is sort of my thing too ya know. The movies, the pumpkins, and corn mazes.” You smirked.

“So Halloween is your favorite Holiday?” Natasha chuckled.

“Hmhm it’s-“ Suddenly Santana sang along with you. “The best day of the year!”

“Nice!” You gasped and high-fived Santana. 

“You know this one used to throw the best ragers around this time.” Santana smirked.

“Oh really?” Natasha smirks looking at you.

You sheepishly shrug.

“Ohhh yeah I remember once the door broke off its hinges. I still don’t know how you fixed it so fast being that drunk, or the time Finn drove his car in your neighbor's pool.” Sanatana chuckled, shaking her head. “Good times.”

“Sounds like you guys were pretty wild.” Natasha smirked.

“Don’t get her started.” You chuckle. “What are your plans for the night?”

“I’m taking Nate and Lila trick or treating while Lena and Kate hand out candy. Clint and Laura always create a haunted house so they’re preoccupied.”

“Oh you should join us.” You smile gesturing to you and Santana.

“Okay sounds great!”

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As soon as you stepped outside with Fin, Santana was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. “Okay but did you two talk about costumes?” Santana asked, looking between you and Natasha. 

You both looked like you were together as a family. She was clearly Ariel, Lila seemed to be mermaid Barbie, Nate was King Trident, and of course Ollie is Max.

“Nope” You chuckled blushing.

“Natty look!” Finley giggled pointing to hers and Natasha’s costumes.

“Oh you're so cute!” She said taking her in her other arm.

“We’re the same!” Finley giggled. “Under da sea! Under da sea! Papa look!”

“I know.” You chuckled.

“Papa you have to kiss the goirl!” Finley giggled snuggling into Natasha. You blushed and Santana cackled once more.

“Oh my gosh I need photos right now.” Laura squealed as Clint chuckled, covering his mouth to keep from cackling.

Meanwhile inside with Brittany and Quinn

“Are you fucking kidding me.” Quinn growled seeing the whole interaction. “Do you see this shit?” 

“They look good together.”

“Britt what the fuck?”

“Sorry, I thought I said that in my head.” Brittany mumbled looking out the window.

“Ugh!” Quinn stomped her foot.

Back outside

“Well are you ready Princess Ariel?”

“I think you need to ask my father King Trident.” She smirked.

“Ahh yes King Trident of the 7 seas. May you and your family accompany me on this Hallows night?” You bowed offering your hand.

“Oh brother.” Santana huffed as Nate giggled.

“Ignore Bellatrix.” You raised your brow.

“I’m clearly Hermione.”

“If you say so.” You muttered leading Ollie down the sidewalk.

“Beth stay close okay!” You shouted as your daughter and Lila ran off with Morgan and Monica.

Every house you all went to commented on how great you all looked together. The block however clearly had no words knowing you both were married to other people.

Natasha on the other hand was on cloud 9. You were constantly cracking jokes and had a back and forth with Santana that had her face hurting from smiling too much.

“Papa!” 

“Hmm?” 

“Sing Prince Eric's song!”

“Only if I get extra kisses!”

Finley giggled as she kissed your cheeks before saying. “Sing papa sing!”

“What do ya say Ariel?” You raise your brow at Natasha.

She chuckles before clearing her throat before letting out Ariel’s classic singing. “Ahhhhahhhh” Finley playfully joined Natasha in harmonizing. “Ahhhh ahhhhh” 

“All I ever wanted was the open sea and sky. Freedom from the life I always knew. Now all I am is haunted. As days and hours roll by. All I ever think about is you.”

Natasha gulped you were her Prince she always wanted. You were her Prince Eric.

“There you are, over me”

Natasha harmonized again this time Santana joining in as she videoed you singing. Bystanders stopped to do the same

“Taking me with your song! To wild uncharted waters, miles beyond the sea I was darkness-bound, I had almost drowned 'Til you came around, and you found me!”

Santana bit her lip; you and Natasha were looking at one another the same way you used to look at Quinn when you sang to her. She knew you were starting to have feelings for the Russian beauty. She couldn’t even blame you especially with the way Quinn has been lately. Lying to you about being pregnant?! She wants to slap the shit out of her for that she’s gonna keep that in her back pocket.

“Now I am on the shoreline, but I'm still lost at sea! In these wild uncharted waters; Come find me again!”

You were going to end it there, but the crowd around you nodded towards you asking for you to keep going. You looked at Natasha and you began again.

“All I do is wonder who you are and where you'll be. In my mind, your melody goes on. Stronger than the undertow the night you rescued me. Silhouetted by the rising dawn.”

You had chills hearing her harmonizing.

“Ohhhhh, over you I cannot get over you! In wild uncharted waters; Beyond where man can see. When your eyes outshine the horizon line! And you're finally real, here beside me! Now I'm right here on the shoreline I'm right where you left me! And your voice is like A siren that guides me! To wild uncharted waters; alone, just you and me! And I hope you're there in the open air! There's no map or compass to guide me, no! Time may change the shoreline! But time will not change meeeeee! If it takes my life I will finally find you again In uncharted waters Come find me againnnnnnnnnnnnnn!”

The crowd around you cheered and clapped and you jokingly bowed.

You smiled at Natasha and Finley when a little girl pulled your sleeve.

“Oh hello!” You beamed.

“Prince Eric, can I take a picture with you?” The little girl asked bashfully. You looked up at her mother who mouthed ‘please?’.

“Why of course!” You beamed.

“Ariel, will you take one with us?” She asked.

You, Natasha, little King Trident and Finley stood for a line of photos.

“Thank you Prince Eric thank you Princess Ariel.” They would all say.

“Papa, we're popular.” Finley giggled. “Like aunt Rachel.”

“Betrayed by my own flesh and blood!” You gasped.

Santana chuckled as you all began walking back home. “Almost forgot how great your voice is Y/L/N.” 

“You ever miss it?” You ask Santana.

“All the time.” She sighs.

“Me too.” You gave her a side hug. 

When it finally came to an end it took a lot of candy to keep Fin from crying and throwing a fit. She wanted to keep going. 

“Aww dad come on Morgan and Lila are staying too.” Beth groaned when you said no to her staying the night at Monica’s.

“Beth, you just stayed at Morgan’s. Besides, it's a school night.”

“We all go to the same school," Beth huffs.

You ignored that comment determined to stand your ground.

“Please! I’ll pick up after Ollie and feed him and walk him! I’ll even take the trash out!”

“You mean your chores?” You gasped chuckling as she stomped her foot.

“Come on, Y/N, don’t be such a dick-tator.” Santana cackled. “Go ahead mi amore.”

“San-“

“It’s Halloween! Be cool!” She huffed and nodded toward your eldest.

“Yayyyy love you Tia!” Beth took off.

“What am I chopped liver?” You huffed.

“Love you!” She shouted before squealing with her friends.

“Papa me and Ollie love you.” She smiled with chocolate on her face.

Natasha chuckled, wiping her face with a wet wipe.

“Thank you Natty, I love you.” Fin smiled at her.

“I love you too, dorogoy.” Natasha smiled.

“Papa, I wan Natty pwease.”

“She’s holding Nate, squirt.”

“You hold Nate I wan, Natty.”

“Ouch.” You chuckled and Natasha handed you a sleepy King Trident.

Nate whined pulling at his fake beard. You gently took it off laying it against your shoulder. The small boy yawned snuggling into your shoulder. You smiled hearing his soft snores as Fin babbled on to Natasha.

Santana walked next to you giving you a look. 

“What’s that look for?” You chuckled and Santana pulled you back a little.

“Y/N, if you’re not happy with Q anymore you can leave her.” She said softly. 

“I uh-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m just saying no one would be upset with you. You have to think about your own happiness sometimes. You can’t raise kids if you aren’t happy.” 

You were completely taken back.

“Just think it over.” Santana nudged you and Natasha turned around.

“Papa come on trick or treat!”

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When you finally made it to your lane Fin threw a fit when it was time to take her home. 

“No Papa! Natty!” She cried.

Santana bit her lip as she took her son and Ollie inside your house.

“You’re just sleepy little Ariel.” You whispered, taking her in your arms.

“But don wanna seep.” She cried sleepily.

“When you wake up it’ll be ballet time.” Natasha smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Ballet.” Fin whispered as she began falling asleep on your other shoulder.

“I better take King Trident home.” She smiled, taking him from you. 

“I can't wait to have another one.” You chuckled, handing him to Natasha.

“You want a boy?” She smiled at you as you walked her across the street towards the Barton haunted house.

“Yeah don’t get me wrong I love my girls, but I’ve always wanted a son too.” 

“Well it’ll happen one day. You’re such a great daddy I just know it’ll happen.” Natasha smiled, speaking softly as to not wake the kids.

You briefly wondered if maybe Quinn would have a boy and a small part of you didn’t want another with her. Not after everything, not after the talk with Santana.

You both are greeted by the Barton’s who are closing shop.

“Hey there’s my little King Trident.” Laura smiled taking him from Natasha.

“Thanks again Nat- or should I say Princess Ariel and Prince Eric?” Clint smirked.

You chuckled, shaking his hand before leading Natasha back across the street.

“You looked amazing as Ariel by the way.” You smile.

“Same to you Prince Eric.” She smiled.

“Goodnight Nat.” You say as you both stand in front of her home.

She opted on not kissing your cheek seeing a certain blonde fuming by the window.

“Goodnight Prince Eric.” She smiled softly before making her way in the house.

You make your way inside right when Santana and Brittany are leaving.

“Bye Prince Eric.” Brittany winked.

“Think over what we discussed.” Santana muttered as she hugged you goodnight.

You looked over at Quinn who stood fuming looking at you with a glare. You rolled your eyes and ascended up the stairs. You could give a shit about what she has to say at this point.

You slept in the guest room again that night.

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You were deep in thought going over Santana's words once again. You were inwardly going over what would happen if you were to leave Quinn.

“Y/N the timer went off like 2 minutes ago.” Quinn huffed from her spot next to Beth. She was helping her with her math homework.

You snapped out of your daze turning down the stove top.

“What is up with you today? You’ve been in your head all day.” She asked.

You ignore her fixing up dinner.

“Y/N?”

“Damn it, Quinn, just not now okay! Can you let me finish dinner? Or am I not allowed to do that either???” You huffed with a roll of your eyes.

Quinn glared at you but before she could say anything back Beth broke the silence.

“Dad.” Beth muttered looking out the window.

“Hm?” You asked as you grabbed plates.

“The neighbors are gathering outside with guns  up.” Beth said looking over at you her brows crinkled together. 

You saw Steve grab his rifle.

“Whoa what in the- Stay here.” You say sternly before rushing outside.

“What’s going on?” You asked Steve who now had his gear on with Carol and Bucky. 

“A couple prison escapees were sighted a block away from here.” Steve speaks as he clips his vest. “Carol is heading south, I'm heading north and Buck will go East.”

“Clint said he’d go west.” Bucky spoke up.

“Y/N, do you have a gun?” Carol asked.

“Yes.” You nodded, picturing where you put it.

“Go grab it you never know.” Carol said, adding her magazine.

‘Natasha’ you thought as you ran inside setting the new system Tony and Scott installed.

“The house is now secure.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke out as your house completely locked down.

“What’s going on dad?” Beth asked; seeing you run inside holding your phone to your ear.

“Y/N?” Quinn furrowed her brows looking up from Beth’s homework. She huffed standing up to follow you upstairs.

“Come on pick up.” You growled before taking a peek at Natasha's window. You hung up, you were just going to run to her place.

Quinn made it to the room just in time to see you lift the wooden board in your closet taking out your gun.

“Quinn, go get the girls, and Ollie then lock yourself in the room!” You say loading your gun.

“What the hell is going on? Why do you have that?!”

“There’s been a prison break and they were spotted near our block. I'm gonna go check on Nat.”

“What?! why?!”

“Because I called her 3 times and she’s not picking up.”

“What about us?” She huffed looking at you like you grew a second head.

“Q, you’re in a state of the art home security system that Tony and Scott set up. You and the girls are safe. I’ll be back, I know the code.” You ran out with Quinn and your daughter shouting your name.

“Natasha?” You say again, cupping your hands to see inside the dark house. Nat usually had her blinds open. Seeing a vase fall you call out again. “Natasha?!”

“Y/N!” She managed to yell, throwing her hand up from the floor behind the sofa.

That was all you needed, you backed up before kicking the door in.

Seeing a man holding her down with a knife and the other tying her up.

“Let her go. Now.” You growled, gripping your gun. 

“You’re not gonna shoot me.” One of them laughed. 

“You don’t know me, I don’t know you, but I know her. Really wanna try me now?” You arched your brow looking deep into his eyes.

He gulped, dropping the blade slowly lifting his hands up. “The fuck are you doing? Theres two of us and one of them! Get them!” The other inmate snapped before trying to drag Natasha down the hallway.

“Let me go!” She screamed, kicking and grabbing the wall.

“Let her go or I swear I’ll fucking shoot you!” You shouted.

“What are you doing, get off your ass and get them!” He gruffed trying to pull Nat. “Stop moving you little bitch or I’ll make it hurt!” 

Natasha swept his legs punching him in the throat but he grabbed his knife.

You stopped thinking and shot him in the back.

“Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhh fuck!” He cried out landing with a thud. “I can’t feel anything! You crazy mother fucker you shot me!”

“Nat come here!” She rushed behind you.

The other guy panicked not knowing what to do.

“Get down on the fucking ground!” You shouted.

“Please don’t shoot me, I'm sorry!” He cried getting on the ground with his hands behind his head.

“I should fucking kill you for what you did to her!” You shouted.

“Y/N no!” She pleaded.

“No wait please, I'm sorry!” He cried.

“You’re sorry! You were gonna hurt her and attack me, but you’re sorry? I should just fucking kill you now.”

“Y/N?” Natasha said softly now behind you softly touching your arm.

“They would have hurt you.”

“Y/N, please.” Natasha pleaded. 

“Y/N?” Steve called out.

“What?” You huffed, still pointing the barrel at his head.

“I got it from here.” He said softly. “It’s okay bud you did good.”

You nodded as he cuffed him. You placed the safety on the gun tucking it behind your back.

Natasha tackled you with a hug. 

“Did he? Did they?” Your eyes are wild and brimming with unshed tears at the thought of anyone hurting her. You push her hair back looking her over pushing her hair back she was bleeding.

“No, no.” She shook her head feeling your hands gripping her waist as she places a hand on your chest and the other against you cheek. “I swear detka, just a few scratches, they hit me on the back of the head.”

Searching her eyes for the truth. She kissed your cheek bringing you back in a hug and you kissed her temple. Holding her close against you as you sighed in relief. 

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“You’re lucky your spouse came home when they did.” One of the officers sighed after taking her statement.

“Oh I’m not-“ you cleared your throat. “I’m just the neighbor.”

Natasha’s still silent; you wondered if she heard that or if she’s just in shock.

‘I’m in love with Y/N.’ She thought to herself. ‘Y/N saved me. They’re always there for me. I’ve completely fallen in love with someone in a marriage.’

“Oh excuse me I just saw you holding her and then the rings and well I assumed.” He chuckled.

Soon a car came to a screeching halt behind the police barricade. It was him, it was Bruce. You noticed a brunette getting out of the passenger side.

“Sir I’m gonna have to ask you to get behind the barricade.” The officer who thought you were Natasha’s wife gruffed.

“I’m her husband. I live here!” He shouted.

“Not again Arnold.” You hear him mutter. “Let him through.” He sighed.

“I came as soon as I heard!” He shouted running toward her. The moment he brought her in his arms she snapped out of her state. Shoving him away harshly.

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed, getting everyone’s attention. She quickly backed away, colliding into you. You wrapped your arms around her feeling her tense.

“Hey, hey easy it’s just me.” You said softly as she turned in your arms. 

“Natasha, it's me, Bruce, your husband.” He spoke softly and tried reaching out again but she buried her face in your neck.

“Y/N!” She cried; everything was hitting her at once. She was trembling in your arms. 

“It’s okay, I know. It’s okay.” You whispered, holding her tightly as she began breaking down. She breathed in harshly before crying again.

An EMT came by speaking softly as she could. “You’re in shock. You’re having a panic attack. Come with me I can help settle you down a bit.” 

The EMT knew the redhead wasn’t listening so she spoke with you. “Can you help bring her to the truck?”

You nodded wordlessly. Slowly scooping her up in your arms. Walking her to the ambulance. “You gotta let go.” You whispered trying to set her down.

She shook her head still shaking. 

Another car came to a screeching halt. Out came a familiar blonde.

“Сестра!” She shouted. “Сестра, Где ты?!”

You raised your hand seeing Natasha’s head pop up at the voice.

She easily evaded the police barricade stopping in front of you both.

“It’s okay, she's fine. They’re sister’s.” Arnie sighed, already knowing the two were sisters.

You felt Natasha let you go and hug her sister.

You looked up seeing your wife standing next to Christine, arms crossed. A look on her face you can’t place.

Knowing Nat was okay you walked away only to have Yelena take your hand. 

“Thank you for being there for her.” Yelena sniffled.

You just gave a small smile and squeezed her hand before walking back towards your wife.

You kissed her still lips before taking her in your arms holding her tight. You waited for her to hold you back, but it never came.

“Qui-“

“Thank you for taking care of her.” Bruce said, taking your hand; interrupting you and Quinn.

“Well maybe if you had been there you could have done it.” You snapped.

“Y/N.” Quinn gasped.

“No!” You whipped your head at your wife before looking at the nerd in front of you. “She could have seriously gotten hurt and where were you? Let me guess holed up with your side piece right?” You laughed gesturing to the brunette behind him. “Couldn't you leave her to take care of your wife?”

“Y/N stop it!” Quinn grit.

Now the entire block was standing behind you.

“Well I was working. I’m actually working on-“

“A breakthrough?” You questioned tilting your head stepping towards him only for him to take a step back colliding into his car. “You’ve been saying that for how long now?”

“Too fucking long!” Carol shouted.

“Tony back me up here.” Bruce chuckled awkwardly.

“No. You need to tell her the truth now.” Tony glares. “You said you were gonna tell her it’s been 2 months.” 

Bruce sighed. 

“Tell me what?” Natasha questions from the ambulance.

“Nothing!” Bruce shouts quickly with a nervous smile.

“Bullshit it’s nothing.” You grabbed him by his blazer shoving him back into the car. “Tell her the truth now!” You yelled. Quinn tried to pry your arm off of him but you shoved her back. “Say it!”

“I’ve been cheating on her with Betty!” He gasped covering his mouth looking over at Betty who merely shrugged.

“Say it to her you idiot.” You gruffed, shoving him towards the redhead.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Quinn snapped, grabbing your arm.

“Him!” You yelled pointing at Bruce who was trying to run away from Yelena.

“That has nothing to do with you.” Quinn huffed.

“Natasha is my friend-“

“Y/N you shoved me.” She quirks her brow. 

You sighed, rubbing your head. “I’m sorry I shoved you, but you weren’t there! You didn’t see those animals on her! They would have hurt her!”

“You’re right I didn’t because I was busy taking care of myself and the girls.” She snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snapped.

“You left us! You left your family for our neighbor! How do you not see what’s wrong with that?”

“You’re making it sound like I chose her over you. That’s not what happened. What happened was I acted fast, got you and the girls in lockdown. I told you when I didn't hear from Nat, I knew something was wrong, I can’t just ignore that. I will not!”

There was so much going on Natasha didn’t know what to focus on. She had almost been SA’ed. Her fake husband just admitted to his infidelity. The neighbors were now whispering and worse. You and Quinn were arguing about her. Right in front of everyone.

“Y/N, I am your wife. Me. I am the one who gave birth at 16 because you knocked me up! I’m the one who took the stretch marks and the constant feeding. I’m the one who works.”

“Wow…” you muttered looking away from her, noticing Val and Thor trying to get the rest of the block to leave. “I’m gonna go give my statement then we’ll talk about this in the morning. I can’t even look at you. You’re so fucking selfish.”

With that you walked away leaving a bristled Quinn behind. Quinn looked at Christine who gave her a brief side hug before walking back to her house.

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After your statement; the police and first responders made their leave. You’re not too sure what happened with Bruce but the scientist was nowhere in sight.

Yelena walked up leaving her sister on the porch. “She doesn’t want to stay in her house. Do you mind if we stay with you tonight until we can get the place secured and cleaned up?”

“Of course not. Come on.” You say walking towards the redhead. “Hey gingerbread-“ you feel her fall in your arms. Without another word you scoop her up and walk over to your home. Yelena opens the door and you begin going up the steps towards your guest room. You gently push the door open as Yelena turns the light on. You gently set her on the bed.

“Should I get you two some pajamas?”

“Thank you, Y/N, I brought some clothes so I think we’re good.”

“Don’t go.” Natasha whispered, taking your hand.

“I have to go change and talk to Quinn.” You respond.

“Please stay.” She shook her head holding onto your hand laying back down with Yelena right behind her holding her tight.

“Okay.” You whispered, shoving your pants off revealing your boxers and leaving your shirt on.

You laid down and she curled into you with Yelena curled into her. 

“Y/N I have to tell you something.” She said softly, hearing Yelena already snoring away.

“What’s wrong?”

“...I lied to you… about Bruce.”

“What about him?”

“We’re married but… not really. He married me to make his ex jealous, and I married him for a green card.”

“Oh.” You say with a nod.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I didn't tell you. I should have told you a while back. I don't know why I didn’t. I knew you wouldn’t tell anyone. I guess I just-“

“Hey… it’s okay.”

“Really?”

“Of course to be honest I feel like an idiot now the way I yelled at him in front of everyone-“

“No one knows but you, the Barton’s, and the Maximoffs. I’m sorry, Y/N, I should have told you.”

“Water under the bridge-“

“Might want to hold on to those words because I have something else to tell you a couple things actually.” She muttered. “You might hate me after this.”

“Hey I promise that will not happen. Now what’s wrong?” You ask softly.

“I don’t know how to say this but after tonight I have to. You deserve to know these things. Just promise me you hate. Promise me you won’t stop talking to me.”

“I promise. You can tell me anything.”

“Back on football day Tony told me to tell you something important.”

“Why doesn’t he just tell me?” You furrowed your brow.

“Because he’s too chicken shit.” She huffed sitting up next to you.

“Okay.”

“Y/N, he told me you were accepted into MIT. In fact he said you had a full ride, but that someone turned down your scholarship. He doesn’t know who, but it’s true.”

“Wait… what?” You rubbed your eyes and head unable to process the information. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” She whispered. “I know you really wanted to follow in your fathers footsteps.”

“I was accepted?” you sighed really wanting to cry. Your whole life you just thought you weren’t good enough. You remember seeing the disappointment in your fathers eyes when you told him you were denied. You remember feeling broken hearted. Now you’re racking your brain trying to remember anything that could pinpoint who it was.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” You hum still in thought.

“There’s one more thing… Do you remember your birthday night?”

You gulp turning to look at her. Your heart was thumping out of your chest. You settle for a nod afraid of speaking at all at this point.

“When you went back outside Rachel stopped me.”

You furrow your brows and nod asking her to continue.

“Y/N she does like Quinn she outright told me. She wanted me to… Well she wanted me to help her break the two of you apart.”

“That little evil hobbit.” You growled. “I knew it, I knew Rachel is a snake.”

“I’m sorry Y/N.” She whispers.

“Don’t be; I’m the idiot.”

“No you’re not. You didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing Y/N. Some people are just not good.”

You try to get out of bed.

“Wait where are you going?” she asks, holding your arm.

“I need to take a walk. There's so much going on I can’t-”

“Y/N I am begging you right now please don’t go. Please. I- I need you here with me. I don’t feel safe with out you.”

You nod taking her in your arms when you see tears forming in her eyes. “Shhhh, shh, it's okay go to sleep I’ll be right here with you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” You say softly laying down with her shaking in your arms. You squeeze her tighter, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be right here.”

Natasha nods and sighs in relief. Relief that the secrets she was holding are finally out. Though her body is still stuck in fight or flight mode you seem to be calming her right down and you have to admit after those truth bombs she was keeping you level headed. Though you didn’t sleep that night it was nice to hear her breathing.

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You got up early; quietly putting your pants back on before stepping out the door. You walked into your shared bedroom grabbing a fresh set of clothes.

“Where have you been?” Quinn asked, sitting up.

“Downstairs.” You lied putting your clothes on.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I was out of line last night. I shouldn’t have been upset with you saving her. She would have been hurt or worse and I was being selfish.” 

You felt taken back hearing her apologize. You didn’t say a word instead opting for a nod.

“I’m going to go and grab us breakfast from that place you love.” The blonde stood pecking your cheek before heading into the bathroom. 

Soon she was out quickly putting on her yoga pants and shirt. “I’ll be back soon.” She smiled before stepping out. You watched her pull out of the driveway when you heard the guest door open.

“Hey.” 

You turned to see Natasha.

“Morning.” You give her a small smile.

“Thank you for everything.” She said softly walking over to hug you.

“Of course.”

“I’m going to Lena’s place for a few days. Tony said his crew is working on my house so that makes me feel better.”

You nodded not wanting to push her to talk about it. 

“Thanks again Y/N, and thank you for saving my sister.” Yelena spoke while walking up next to her sister.

“Of course.” You say again as she brought you in a big hug squeezing you tight before letting go.

“We’re totally going to get some breakfast. Want to join us? We’ll probably just take it to my place.” Yelena smiled.

“Thanks Yelena but Quinn left for breakfast so I’m good maybe next time.”

She nodded before looking over at Natasha. “Ready?”

She nodded. “Thank you, again Y/N.”

“No need to thank me.” You finally say as she hugs you she inhales deeply as you nuzzle her head breathing her in.

She smiles up at you and follows her younger sister out the door.

You yawned finally feeling sleepy as you watched her leave.

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(This part was originally called Talking in Your Sleep by Rogue Wave I highly suggest to play it while reading this next part)

The next few days you were sleepless and all around depressed. You hadn’t been this helpless since Finn passed away. Quinn was being overly nice and waiting on your hand and foot. You couldn’t help but miss your neighbor. You had sex dreams of her every night. You texted her a few times to check in and see how she was doing. You learned she made it back home last night. You even asked her if she wanted you to go over and stay with her, but she insisted she needed to be alone. She needed to overcome her fear. 

Quinn had gotten home late in the morning hours the end of her quarter went off without a hitch and now she has more time to be with you. She jumps in the shower eager to lay with you before you wake up. 

When she finished showering she noticed the tent you were pitching. “Like clockwork.” Quinn smirked a quiet giggle escaping her breath as she uncovered you. She hummed seeing you in nothing but your boxers. You two haven’t had sex since Thor's party and she figured since she’s been a nice and doting wife she can wake you up in the best way possible.

“Nat?” You call out stopping her from opening her door. She turned around and you went up the steps. 

“What’s wrong?” She smiled.

You bring your hands up to caress her cheeks looking into her eyes doing everything you can to convey how worthy she is. “You are the most beautiful, sexiest, most amazing, sweet, kind woman I have ever met. Let me show you how beautiful you are.” With that you brought her in a kiss, one that she eagerly responded back with just as much vigor.

The redhead moaned, feeling your hand on her waist and the other threaded through her tresses.  

Soon you were both stumbling into her house stripping one another as you made your way to the sofa. She sat you down straddling you.

Quinn after warming herself up on your dick she slowly let you enter her. “Fuck Y/N.” She smiled closing her eyes feeling you fill her up.

You felt Natasha lift your member, closing her eyes as she sat down on your cock. “Y/N.” She sighed adjusting to your girth.

“Natasha.” You breathed out seeing her look down at you her nose nuzzling yours before she-

Suddenly you were woken up by water to the face. You gasped sitting up falling out of bed. Looking up to see a raging Quinn holding a large cup of water.

“Quinn what the hell?!” You shouted angrily seeing her place the cup down before quickly changing into jeans and a shirt.

“You’re cheating on me?!”

“What?!” You sputtered. “Where is this coming from?! You just woke me up in a shitty way Quinn!” You shouted thoroughly pissed off.

“Tell me why I’m trying to wake you up in the best way possible and you utter the neighbors fucking name.” She growled shoving her shoes as she started descending down stairs.

“Quinn!” You shouted hearing the front door whip open. 

“Quinn stop!” You yelled running after her drenched in water in nothing but your boxers.

Steve who was mowing his lawn tilted his head seeing your wife pounding on Natasha’s door.

Bless her heart Natasha opened it still seemingly sleepy.

“Quinn? What’s going on?” She rasps.

“You lying little home wrecker!” Quinn towered over her, pointing her finger in her chest.

“Excuse me?” Natasha sputters in disbelief pulling her kimono closer pushing Quinn’s finger away.

“Oh cut the shit Romanoff, I know you want my wife. It doesn’t take a fool to see how desperate you are for her. So how long has it been going on?”

“Quinn!” You shouted running up the stairs. “Quinn stop it! You’re acting like a fucking psychopath!” You growled. 

“No, tell me!” She yelled at both of you.

“I’m so confused. Tell you what? And why are you calling me a homewrecker?”

“Tell me why my partner called out your name while I was fucking them?!”

“Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God this isn’t happening.” You muttered holding your head.

“Wha… What did you say?” Natasha shakes her head furrowing her brows. Were you thinking of her the way she’s been thinking about you? Did you secretly want her as much as she wants you?

“Okay since you’re too dumb to understand I’ll say it again-“

“Don’t call me dumb Quinn.” Natasha kinked her brow standing her ground.

“Then why are you acting like it?!” 

“I’ve only just woken up to you pounding on my door calling me a homewrecker. I have no idea what you are asking me when you take this tone with me Fabray.”

“It’s Mrs. Y/L/N to you Romanoff.” Quinn said, taking another step up towering over the redhead. “How long have you been fucking Y/N?”

“Y/N and I are friends Quinn. They would never do anything to hurt you like that. You should know that already.”

“Fuck you; telling me to trust Y/N. How can I trust them when they’re calling out your name in our bed?”

It was silent as she looked at you with an unknown expression. 

“Quinn, I was asleep it wasn’t like that-“

“Don’t do that.” She snapped pointing at you. “You think I’m dumb? I’m riding you and you call out another woman’s name? What the fuck else are you two hiding? Are you even in a marriage with Natasha?”

“No, actually we’re getting a divorce.”

“You two have a thing together and I’m fucking sick of it. You’re done. You’re done being around my partner, and my kids. Leave my family alone.” 

Your eyes darkened and you stepped between the two women. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“Is everything okay here?” Steve walked up handing you a robe. 

“Thanks Steve.” You mutter placing it on.

“No, it’s not actually. You cheated on your wife and that energy got on Y/N.”

“I came out Quinn. I think the cheater here is you.” He crossed his arms.

“Wait what?” You furrowed your brow.

“Excuse me?” Quinn raised her brow.

“I was the one that saw you that night at Y/N’s party. I’ve been waiting patiently for you to confess, but I guess I’m gonna have to do it for you because Y/N deserves to know.”

“Steve, what are you talking about?” You furrowed your brows.

“Nothing! He’s obviously crazy.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry to tell you this it should have come from your wife. The night of your birthday I caught Quinn making out with Rachel. Pretty heavily.”

“You cheated on me with Berry?” You asked, furrowing your brows in shock. 

“No!” She huffed. “I would never-“

“Quinn.” Steve glared.

Quinn rolled her eyes. “Y/N she’s into you this is why they’re lying!”

Natasha ignored the blonde and continued. “Y/N, Steve, is not a liar. If anything this lines up with what I told you Rachel said to me that night.”

“Oh please, you're lying. Y/N they are lying to you!” Quinn laughed.

“You’re the liar Quinn.” You said eyes brimming with tears. “You lied about being pregnant.” Quinn’s eyes were wide with shock. “Yeah I know you tied your tubes. You lied about Berry, and you fucking stole my chance to go to MIT. I know it was you! I knew you were bitch going into this relationship. I just never thought you would go this low not, with me.”

“Y/N, baby, I swear I didn’t-“ Quinn had tears forming in her eyes. “Okay, I lied about the baby, and I did- I did kiss Rachel, but I didn’t steal your dream away I swear it wasn’t me.” She sobbed, she tried to take your hand and you snatched it away. “I wouldn’t do that to you Y/N!”

“Fuck you!” You shouted. “Quinn, you're a liar and a cheat! I'm done with you! I want you out of the house. I can’t even look at you right now. We’re getting a divorce.”

“No please Y/N! Please don’t do this. I'm begging you to come back with me. We'll talk about it. I promise you we’ll figure this out together! Please!” She sobbed as you shook your head.

Natasha opened her door further letting you and Steve in the house.

“Natasha please that is my wife, my husband, my partner I’m begging you-“

“You’ve done enough.” Natasha snapped slamming the door in Quinn’s face.

“Oh my God.” Quinn inhaled trying not to have a panic attack. She turned to see some of the neighbors outside staring at her.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.” Wanda called out as Quinn walked home. 

Meanwhile inside the Romanoff residence you were having a panic attack.

“It’s okay bud inhale 1, 2, 3, 4 hold 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 repeat.” Steve was used to calming down panic attacks because of Bucky. After losing his arm he suffered from severe PTSD for a long time. “There you go now tell me what’s one thing you can see, smell, hear, and touch?”

“Um the photo of Nat and Yelena when they were kids, I can smell Nat’s home musk, I can hear her grabbing me a cup of water, and I can feel the fluffy carpet beneath my feet.”

“There we go.” Steve smiled, feeling your pulse instantly dropping.

“Did you really see them?” Your voice cracked.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I should have told you sooner I was hoping she would confess.”

Natasha laid a cool hand towel on your forehead handing you a glass of water. “I’m sorry detka.” Natasha whispered, laying her hand on the center of your back. She didn’t know this yet but that hand placement always made you feel better. You leaned into her and began crying feeling her wrap her arms around you, rocking you. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way Y/N.” Steve felt his heart break for you.

You cried a little harder and Natasha turned her head towards him. “I got this Steve if you wanna…”

He nodded, taking the hint. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” He stood feeling terrible as he made his way out the door.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

You woke up a few hours later practically on top of Natasha.

“Hi.” She whispered, pushing your hair back. “How are you feeling?”

You groaned sitting up.

“So my shot at MIT was stolen, she lied to me about being pregnant, a long time frenemy has been trying to break us up, and kissed my wife. Am I missing anything else?” You rubbed your face letting it all really sink in. 

You groaned remembering Quinn embarrassed you about calling out Natasha’s name in bed.

“Y/N.” Natasha sighed you haven’t looked at her.

“Yeah?” You cleared your throat.

“So you had a sex dream about me!” She exclaimed, causing you to groan in embarrassment. “It’s not a big deal I’ve dreamt about you.”

“What?” This caught your attention. Your head almost got whiplash with how fast you turned.

“Oh my God, you’re terrible. Yes Y/N I have had sex dreams about you.”

“Dreams; plural;  as in more than one?”

Natasha, realizing her mistake, rolls her eyes and shrugs. “Yes.”

“Oh.” You say suddenly very aware of your proximity.

“So now will you look me in the eye?”

You slowly met her gaze she dreamt about you fucking her… more than once! Maybe Quinn was right, maybe she is into you and maybe you’re into her too. You’re on unfamiliar ground. You’ve only ever been with Quinn. 

“I’m sorry for being so weird about it. I just- I’ve never dreamt about a friend before.”

“Come on, you need to eat something. I know you love omelets. Want me to make you your favorite?”

You nod in surprise.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

“Okay we’re here- why the hell does your face look like a puffy marshmallow?” Santana grimaced. 

“Quinn what’s wrong?” Brittany furrowed her brows

“I- I fucked up.” Quinn began crying.

“What the hell did you do, Fabray?” 

“I cheated on Y/N.” She sobbed.

Santana sighed, she hates to say she saw this coming, call it her Latin 3rd eye, but she knew something has been off ever since your birthday.

“Quinn!” Brittany gasped.

“What the actual fuck Fabray?!” Santana huffed standing back up so she wouldn't slap the life out of Quinn. “Who, when, where, and how many times?” 

“It was one time and we didn’t even have sex we- we made out.”

“It was with Berry wasn’t it?” Brittany muttered.

Quinn nodded.

“Wow. You’re a dumb bitch for that Fabray. Y/N gave you everything and this is how you repay them?”

“What do I do?” Quinn sobbed.

“Well you’re gonna give Y/N space and if they decide to leave and divorce you then I highly suggest you do it if you have any respect for Y/N.

“I can’t just let Y/N go. I can’t, I love Y/N.” Quinn sniffles.

“You have a really funny way of showing it.” Santana scoffs. You kissed faked a pregnancy, treat them like crap, kissed a troll, and stole Y/N’s chance at MIT.”

“It wasn’t me.” She cried.

“Then who was it?” Santana asked. “Bitch, you’re already fucked might as well be honest now.”

Quinn gulped for uttering the words. “My mother.” 

A/N: like, comment & reblog please I spent a long time on this chapter 🫠

[heavilycaffeinatedsblog]

Alright lads, some fun news!

I am about 60 followers away from 500 followers here on Tumblr, and I want to do something to celebrate!

It feels very obvious to do something in the Dear-Reader-verse, considering that fic was what caused me to get a Tumblr in the first place lololol

I want to start working on it so I can drop it right when I read 500 followers (so, yes, the sooner I get to 500 the sooner it’ll be posted, do what you will with that info :P), and I thought it would be fun to let you guys decide!

Now, whichever options lose aren’t gone forever. Odds are I’ll eventually write them, maybe for another follower count or fun occasion!

So here are the options!

I’ll have the poll open for a day, please spread and share! I want as many people’s input as possible!!

Love you all!

-caf <3

[419jhat]

Steddie Addams Family Crossover

- in which Steve is an Addams who can see ghosts and Eddie is a vampire

I never finished this but maybe I should? 👀

It began when Dante Basilio Harrington di Aleramici attended the marriage of his best friend Gomez into the American Addams clan. It was at that wedding where Dante caught the eyes of the oldest Addams daughter, Macabra, and the rest was history. Stephano Addams Harrington di Aleramici was born a perfectly unlucky thirteen years later, on an unfortunately sunny August morning, with light brown hair and hazel eyes that were delightfully abnormal for an Addams child. The Addams loved abnormalities, and Steve was absolutely full of them.

While he was excellent at traditional sports like fencing, knife-throwing, equestrian, and dancing, he’d never enjoyed the arts like communing with the dead or casting curses for his enemies. He was awful at seeing into the future and summoning creatures from the beyond, and other than the usual Addams ability to heal fast, he couldn’t regrow missing parts like his father could. Even stranger, he flourished in public schooling, loved to spend time with other children, and was often invited to spend time in other people’s homes. They’d never worried, though. As far as they were concerned, he was just a little different; a growing boy who needed space.

So, when they bought a beautifully boring vacation home in Hawkins, Indiana, that was what they gave him. But three weeks of strange behavior in suburbia hadn’t been enough. When it was time for the family to return, Stephano decided to stay, and Steve Harrington was born. He enrolled in a school, joined sports that didn’t end with a battle to the death, and hosted parties without any blood sacrifices. They didn’t understand it one bit. But he was happy, so they nodded their heads and offered to send him fancy beers for his keg contest, whatever that was. (He’d refused. Apparently, it had to be cheap beer.) They returned to their mansion in Massachusetts, happy to let Steve live his life. After all, he was just a crystal ball away and he had his ancestors haunting over him. He’d be fine.

Meanwhile, Steve was content in normality. As an Addams or an Aleramici, he was the odd one out. His parents delighted in his abnormalities, insisting it was simply Addams tradition to be strange, but the thing was, Steve wasn’t strange. Not outside of their family. As an Aleramici, he was the guy who didn’t participate in traditions like summoning the dead for love advice with a fantasy creature. As an Addams, he was the guy who didn’t have a collection of human bones in his bedroom or a criminal record. As a Harrington, he was the star of the town. King Steve, they’d called him. He was the guy who people lifted onto their shoulders after the championship game. He was the guy people clapped on the back when they left a party, even if it wasn’t at his house. He was the guy girls talked about when they wanted a date to prom. He was the guy normal people compared their kids to. An example of success.

And then Nancy Wheeler entered his life and he wasn’t that guy anymore.

Steve was, in the end, an Addams. It was inevitable that weird found him even after he’d tried to escape it. His reign as King of Normal ended the second the demogorgon tried to eat his face off. Sure, he’d held on for a little bit. He’d driven Nancy to tears trying to ignore the craziness of Hawkins and savor his time as an ordinary teenage boy. He’d tried to pretend it hadn’t happened, as if the idea of another dimension was a new concept that just broke his brain to think about. The problem there was that normal was new for Steve. Parallel dimensions and flesh-eating monsters were new for Nancy. He’d maybe underestimated the shock it would bring to her. He was still getting a hang of what exactly wasn’t normal for normal people.

After their inevitable breakup, he’d tried to do the normal thing and get back together. That’s what he was supposed to do, right? That’s what guys in his position did in movies. Of course, since Steve’s life was destined to attract the supernatural, this only meant that his reputation fell even further when Billie Hargrove smashed his face in, and he was somehow demoted to the town babysitter. Something about hanging out with nerdy children and dropping his friends for the girl who’d dumped him was not normal at all, and even worse, he found himself spending more time than ever trying to be normal, just like when he was a kid. Except this time, it wasn’t Addams/Aleramici Normal, it was Everyone Else’s Normal, which somehow didn’t come naturally to him anymore.

What was he supposed to do when the person he’d wanted to be turned out to be someone he didn’t want to be at all? When he looked back on his attempts to fit in and could only think about how he’d ignored Nancy for his own gain and called Jonathan a queer because that’s what normal people said to be mean. He could have turned around and ignored it. He could have sold the house and packed up for a different boring town. But he didn’t want to leave his terrified group of weirdos, even if it meant he had to be weird with them. And as it turned out, being weird wasn’t so bad when you had people to be weird with. Suddenly, his family kind of made sense.

Robin had been the beginning of the end. Meeting Robin had been like meeting the other half of his soul. Someone who just got him without needing to ask questions. He was sure his mother would call them soulmates if they talked to her in person. He’d never felt so at ease to be himself around someone before. While he still floundered with normality around everyone else and failed to get any dates in result, he felt completely free with Robin, as if he could just be Steve, nothing more and nothing less. Which is why befriending Robin shook him up so badly. The kids had hobbies that freaked out their parents and Nancy was for some reason seen as too much by a lot of the guys in town, and he could understand all of that. But Robin couldn’t help that liking girls was seen as weird in a bad way.

And that was what got him- weird in a bad way.

Because weird in a bad way had been how he’d felt when he couldn’t summon a demon for his nonna and when he failed to tell apart poisonous mushrooms for his after-school mycology exam. Weird in a bad way made him think about how he’d been embarrassed when his mom came to parent-teacher conferences. How his cousins had made fun of him for being so interested in playing with animals rather than dismembering them for potions. But even with all those feelings and his years pushing to be somewhere he fit in, he’d never realized that some people didn’t have a choice. Some people couldn’t just turn it off like he’d been trying to.

So, after he’d had his face smashed in again and made his best friend in the whole world while fighting a giant spider creature made of dead bodies that his dad would have loved to see, he’d finally started to come around. And when the world broke apart for the fourth time and he babbled to Nancy about the American Dream nonsense he’d been imaging for himself since he was twelve, he realized with a bit of embarrassment that he didn’t even want that anymore. That he was quite literally just talking because he felt like they were having a moment and it seemed like he was supposed to, not because he wanted to.

And then there was Eddie.

---

When Steve looked out at the grey clouds brewing over Hawkins and the strange soot falling from the sky, he knew he that it was time to talk to his grandmother. He hadn’t talked to Belladonna Harrington in a good four months, partially because he’d been so busy pretending it wasn’t a thing he could do. But with the world literally split apart and Max unable to wake up and Eddie dead and half their strange group unreachable in California, it kind of felt ridiculous not to.

So, with Dustin and Lucas tucked away in the guest room and Erica and Nancy in the master bedroom and Robin keeping watch on an unresponsive Max in his room, Steve pulled down the little foldout ladder in the garage that led to the attic and made his way to a little alcove with pictures of relatives. Belladonna had died young, but apparently she loved being dead so nobody in the family was particularly sad about it. She’d been a fashionable woman and her picture showed it well. Seeing that this was one of Steve’s few talents, he didn’t actually need the picture to do this. But he did need the privacy of the attic he didn’t want to freak anyone out.

He sat down on the bare floor and closed his eyes. This didn’t need any preparation, but he hadn’t done it in a while. Something in him was always terrified his few skills would suddenly vanish. He rolled his shoulders and neck and finally, he whispered, “Belladonna.”

There was a pulse of energy- the light in the garage beneath him flickered, and then there she was, in a shiny black dress and a silver fur coat hanging off her shoulders, all sharp angles and long limbs. She held a pipe in her hand, which she took a drag from and then blew the smoke in his face. Yeah, he’d deserved that.

“I haven’t heard from you in two years, Stephano,” she said.

“We spoke during Christmas, Grandmama,” Steve sighed, avoiding her eyes.

“I’ve been dead for only forty years and my family has already forgotten me!”

Death had not eased her love for drama.

“I didn’t forget you, I just-”

“Nobody loves me!” she wailed, clutching a hand to her chest.

“Of course we love you-”

“Three daughters, two sons, seventeen grandchildren and five great-grandchildren and not one calls me unless they need something!”

“That’s not true-”

“Oh, then this was just a social call? Did you wish to tell me about your relationship with the Nancy girl? Did you mess up again?”

Steve didn’t say anything because she was right, he had messed up with Nancy again, and he also was only calling because he needed her insight. She blew more smoke in his face, and he let it go because he was one of the few in the family who she could do it to. She’d told him once that being intangible was the only bad part of haunting the world as a ghost. Apparently it felt like moving through water that wasn’t wet. Steve couldn’t really wrap his mind around that.

“See? I knew it. Well? What is it you need, my love?” she asked, dramatically sinking onto a box of Christmas decorations, and crossing one leg over the other. Steve bit back a smile. This wasn’t a smiling situation.

“One of my friends is horribly injured, another is dead, and this town is merging with the parallel dimension it’s connected to. I was hoping you’d know what to do.”

Belladonna took another drag from her pipe and nodded, probably because she’d been watching the whole time even if he hadn’t summoned her. She already knew most of it.

“Well, your uncle was always good at mending things. He and a few others are still at the house after celebrating the Spring Equinox with your parents. That little girl could probably use their help. And your father’s collection of books may have something about handling parallel dimensions. But as for the last one- are you sure?”

“Am I sure about what?”

She turned to look him straight in the eyes and he could feel the power behind her look, that she wasn’t actually looking at him, but at something beyond him.

“Are you sure he’s dead?” she asked.

And yes, Steve had been sure. He’d held Eddie in his arms as his body went limp and stiff, and a bit of him went with him, sad that he couldn’t explore the feelings that had sprouted during their attempt at saving the world. But when your undead grandmother questioned something, you started to question it too. So, Steve drove out to the trailer park and followed his grandmother’s translucent form through some woods as she led him to “the spot where the energy is,” whatever that meant, which turned out to be a random patch of dirt. A normal person would probably have started asking questions, but Steve knew his grandmother was waiting for something from the way she stared down at the dead leaves beneath their feet, so he waited too. He squatted on his heels, his bat in one hand and the radio in another.

“Whatever happened to your fencing lessons? That weapon is so gauche,” Belladonna said.

Steve didn’t answer. They’d had this argument already. Instead, he dropped the radio and reached his hand out expectantly. She handed him the pipe and he took a drag and then coughed like it was the first time he’d smoked. She took it back with a judgmental look.

“It’s not my fault you smoke literal tar,” he complained around the smoke slipping from his lips.

“I taught you better. It is your fault,” she said, tossing her perfectly curled hair to the side. Steve had missed this. Now that he had it, he didn’t know why he’d ever let it go.

“I missed you, Bella,” he said.

“Hush, it’s happening,” she said.

Steve looked back down at the earth. Nothing seemed different. He didn’t feel anything weird, either. He looked up at Belladonna, who was staring down as if she could. He turned back to the leaves.

BAM!

A pale hand burst through the earth, black fingernails sharp and dangerous, followed by a forearm and then an elbow and then a shoulder, and finally, a head. Eddie Munson was covered in dirt and blood and stared back at Steve with bright red eyes. Somehow, the look was hot.

“Steve!?” Eddie yelped.

“Holy shit,” Steve said.

Belladonna vanished with a laugh.

[mudandmire]

In This House

Azriel x Eris ~7.9k words Cowboy AU

Read Here

Roots, when Eris finally manages to grow them, become wild and uncontained. Three years, three summers, and he wants to build a garden with reserved ranch hand Azriel. When he proposes making things more permanent, Azriel begins to withdraw. Eris takes the resuscitation of their romance into his own hands. A bit violent, a little deranged; they come together anyway. ~ Or: I make Eris insane, Azriel gets turned on by domesticity, and they frot in a kitchen that doesn't belong to them.

Lil snippet for ya ;)

~~~~

The sweat, a simple slide down his temple, meets the hinge of Azriel’s bronze jaw, and then Eris’s mouth. A reward in the touch of his tongue to sun-warmed skin. The shudder of Azriel’s whole body, curving into Eris like the melted frame of the waxing moon over the Mogollon Rim. 

There’s a prayer here, somewhere. Between Eris’s lips and Azriel’s skin. Between the sun-stoked red rocks of central Arizona and the tough soles of their boots. 

The fact that he allows it. Likes it. Holds Eris’s hips squarely between the heart of his palms and catches his eyes under the wide brim of his hat. Shadows falling across his face, the slip of a quickly waning evening where the heat rises, baking their bodies until they shine as bright as the wavering sheen of appearing stars. 

A moment kept. The brims of their hats meet, tip forward and into each like tectonic plates, and Eris can taste salt and the dry red dust of the earth they’ve been kicking up the whole day. 

~

There’s land not too far out in Sedona, a collection of suburbs. They make up the bottom of the mountains by periphery. All of their smooth asphalt streets, shiny new stop signs, and well-paved driveways leading up to stone bungalows. The sweet front-stoop porches reminded Eris of his grandmother’s house near the Tetons. Her windchimes of sea glass because she missed the ocean. 

There’s one specific house on the outskirts of suburbia. Cupped at the very end of a cul-de-sac, far enough away from neighbors that there’s no danger of peeking over each other’s fences. There are beds of soil in the front yard, fertile and dry enough for a nice garden. The stairs leading up to the green front door had been refurbished recently and still smelled of fresh paint. Eris has the whole place mapped out. From room to room, he marks each space with a memory not yet made and says, here, here is where we’ll build.

~~~~

Read here for more!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Male Monster Musume: Feeding The Beasts Pt. II

“Today is my day!!!!”

A collective groan came from everyone who clutched their pillows as they stuffed their faces in hopes of silencing the harpy’s cheers. Since before the sun had risen Pypi was especially vocal about it being his day. Shouting it from the top of his lungs as he triumphantly shouted into his monster roommate's ears while you groggily left Milo’s room for Pypi’s. 

As per the schedule—your newest attempt at combatting their violent battles for your attention—it really was Pypi’s day for you to spend rime with. You let his early excited fluttering about your renovated home continue as you slept in for as long as you could…before Pypi came to shoot you awake. 

“Come on, (Y/n)! Are you going to waste my day sleeping!?”

You groaned, pulling the covers up to hide yourself from Pypi. Nuzzling into the softness of Pypi’s bed when the harpy pulled away to pout quickly switching to a face of pure happiness. 

“Unless (Y/n) would rather spend the whole day sleeping together? I’d love to do that!”

“Ah-okay! I’m up, I’m up!” 

“Awww.”

Carrying out your morning routines side by side you two ended up in the living room to stand in silence. When you confirmed that it was Milo’s day he rushed off immediately with a plan for what he wanted to do, you were waiting for that same thing. But it didn’t seem it’d be the same with Pypi.

“...”

“...”

“...So uh Pypi what do you want to do?”

“Hmmmm I don’t know!”

“You don’t know?”

“Nope!”

“Well didn’t you have a plan for when we spent time together?”

He pouted as he crossed his wings, “Well I did suggest we stay in bed and–”

“WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!”

“Well…I don’t know what else we can do.”

“You don’t?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Okay then how about–”

_____________________________________________

“This–is–the—best—time—-in—my–-life!”

“It—is—right?”

Thankfully the great thing about the harpy-monster type was that being childish ran through his veins. Thus jumping on the bed like absolute hooligans works perfectly well as an activity together that didn’t include…something that will get you arrested. But like a child his attention was short.

“I’m bored now.”

“Huff~A-already but we—were having such fun!”

“It’d be more fun if we took off our clothes!”

“Aaaalright on to the next activity! Ever tried checkers?”

_______________________________________________

Board games and pieces sprawled across the floor before your exhausted for, while Pypi played solo with a game console on the couch. You only looked up after you hear the halted clacking of hooves that only spoke of Centoreo coming near. 

“Master (Y/n)? Are you alright, you look exhausted although I’m certain you should have gotten to sleep in today?”

You groaned, “It never stops. His energy…and I can hardly keep his attention from doing anything other than the—’s’ word we shall not speak of.”

Centoreo nodded in understanding, flashing a tentative cerulean gaze to the harpy grossly absorbed in the game. 

“Right…but it seems you’re mostly unscathed. Which is more than can be said with a certain wormlike resident.” He whispered the last part with a shudder as you stifled a chuckle. 

“That is true…but I have the sneaking suspicion he’s up to something…I just don’t know–”

“What it is? Well it better not be sex!” 

“S-smith?!” “Y-you!?”

The agent leaned on you obnoxiously forcing you to unsuccessdully push him off as he talked.

“Yup so what’s for dinner darling? Since you’re all tuckered out from not-having-sex are you doing take out?”

“For your information–”

Suddenly a gust of fierce winds assaulted your face and Smith’s, causing you both to look up at the perpetrator. Centoreo was reaching for the phony sword he kept at his side but even he was late to draw before the harpy.

“NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! (Y/N) IS MINE! ALL MINE SO DON’T BOTHER US!”

Before you realized it the window had broken and you were so far off the ground the lights of your suburbia were simple flickers. Despite the talonned grip on your shoulder you felt more comfortable holding tight. You tried to speak to the one in charge of your flight but the wind whipping in your face wasn’t helping in the slightest so you swallowed your questions as Pypi flew further into the night. 

_________________________________________________

“N-no this isn’t the right place! Stupid! Stupid!”

Pypi’s squealing falling upon no one but your own as you clinged to him on the peak of a sky scraper in the city. He was mad at himself. Banging the tip of his wings into his head as he fought tears.

“W-why i-is this the wrong place? I-it’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?”

You clinged to him more than aware of the dangerous situation his bird brain posed once again. Having apparently forgotten that he needed to support your weight while you had your arms wrapped around his neck. It surprised you how sturdy he was being able to withstand your own weight before he properly held you against him, cradling your bottom with his wingspan. 

He sniffled into your neck,”I-i keep forgetting—to bring you to the place I meant to! And its all cause I’m such a–”

“H-hey no need to beat yourself up! You’ll remember…eventually?”

You tried to pull your best main character pick-me-up tone as you as quickly as you could bare to pat his back. That seemed to do the trick as he squeezed you tightly against his chest as he looked out at the city from behind your back.

“Y-yeah a-and at least I get to spend my day with you!” 

“Y-yeah now can we please go home I-I’m sure everyone is hungry.”

“Well hopefully they can all die on Milo’s cooking while we eat out!” 

“Pypi!”

“Fine. I know you didn’t bring your wallet so that plan was bogus anyway!” 

“Uggh!”

 You hated how much you agreed with him but at the very least you got some insight. No doubt this wasn’t the same type of fulfillment Milo was seeking but it seemed to work on nonetheless…kinda....

Next was Centoreo, but you don’t have to worry he’s guaranteed to be a breeze. More so than Pypi could ever pretend to be.

[sgiandubh]

Just so stories: Mommy and Daddy

In the (questionably) blessed White Picket Fenced America of 1955, things were deceptively simple:

Mommy stayed home, while Daddy was earning enough cash to buy that new Frigidaire.

Uhm. No, not really: see what happens to Mad Men's Betty Draper, the pearl-stringed suburbia matron. Not exactly a cheerful look, but perhaps a true, albeit neurotic, one.

For some unfathomable reason, one of the main dismissive arguments used against shippers reads along some very similar lines. I paraphrase, as this is a collective POV (probably stemmed from CO's laboratory and snowballed to great success across their dashboards):

'Oh, aren't they stupid! How can they expect C to follow him around the world, children in tow, at his beck and call? Or to wait for him, military wife style, as he traipses from Vegas to London to Paris to Belgium? What are these, The Fifties?'

To this Dorothy Dixon, along comes one of the Tumblrette Pundits, with a ready-made answer, always the same:

'Of course they are stupid! Of course she doesn't! Every time she is working somewhere, she brings McSideburns and The Blonde Bambino around! And McSideburns takes care of Blonde Bambino, as he should! Reality, not fantasy!'

Let alone they have absolutely no clue about the real state of play, given the almost complete, paranoid opacity reigning since at least a Certain Sad Event. Let alone that no other logical/common sense argument provided is accepted (cults seldom deal in both acceptance and common sense);

Nannies? Pah, so 1992! Family safety net? Pah, so suburban! Working parents? Pah, these people are stars, their life is a cornucopia of perks and freebies and glam!

So, in a nutshell, according to them:

Mommy is busy working and Daddy follows all along/ stays at home with Blonde Bambino, hoping that Mommy will bring enough cashola to finish that double glazing people usually install in December.

In other words, we immediately picture C as a 'starke, titanische Weib' / the strong, titanic woman German poets were so fond of back in the 1800's. Dragging along a diminutive, shy, understanding and private McSideburns, trousered Vestal extraordinaire. The rest is taboo (or should be, in my book), at any rate.

Something wrong with this vision? Yes. It's exactly the 1950's one they accuse us of espousing (we don't), but this time the male/female symbolic roles are reversed. As a result, a shrink would have many thoughts and probably a handful of questions about that need to completely castrate the Goddess's Consort to perfect oblivion. Obliterating his life, his story and even his name, for Christ's sake!

Not a good look for either C and The Prop and, to be honest, quite a weird, borderline insulting one, especially when coming from 'respectful, realistic' fans. The real utility seems to be concealing the emptiness of a Tale Forever Untold. It will be effectively replaced by the chorus with the perfect fantasy of a modern dad, a successful producer/manager and so on and so forth.

Reality is a bit different, if you just take a look on The Fratellis' Wikipedia page and follow the links:

But, but, but... 'additional personnel' (😱😱😱) - how could that be?

And yes, remember (LOL) David Eustace and the FMN shooting photo of the Happy Dynamic Duo? Happy to oblige to a friend who provided a work project (that album was postponed two or three times, then released in 2021) during COVID, probably.

The mere thought of a young, urban, sophisticated, committed and trusting couple, living and loving their best life, traveling separately or together, allowing 'spaces in their togetherness' (wasn't that The Prophet quote she liked and shared?) is something that gives them the shingles. Anything but this. Anything - even that sad The Empress and Her Additional Personnel narrative.

You see, they don't like The Obvious. At all.