#stuff about my life

[jantotrash]

🏳️‍🌈 Pride Asks 🏳️‍🌈

16, 17, 18 pretty please~

:) for reference:

16. Do you attend Pride in person every year?

17. Have you ever attended Pride in a big city/ large metro area?

18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?

I have never been to an actual Pride celebration! I have weirdly been to Cardiff the day before Pride, which was a very strange and wonderful coincidence, but no actual Prides for me yet!

To be honest, I am purposefully not going yet lol, because I Technically could this year. That’s because one day, somehow, some way, I want to go to Pride with my (wonderfully gay) uncles! They go every year because they are very gay, they live in a very gay city, and they are far more comfortable with lots of people and sensory input compared to me! I want my first Pride to be with them both for the concern of my own comfort level (they’ll look out for their easily-overwhelmed sex-repulsed nibling lol) and because they have been instrumental in my journey to realizing I’m queer. So, if it can be, I want my first Pride to be with them :)

Thanks for asking!! :)

[shepscapades]

Evil Anvil has permanently changed my brain chemistry about the ending of limited life

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

[ysolt]

this is yuri

[bookscoffeeandracoons]

My mum passed away last Thursday and I feel like I've lost all ground under my feet.

She was my best friend, the one I trusted with everything, my rock, my support system. Together with Kate, who I'd be lost without.

This is the fifth loss in 20 months. That's not even full two years.

I miss my mum so fucking much, there's no words for it. So does Kate. She really wasn't just my mum but hers, too. And also a mum for Kate's brother, since their mum passed away last year.

Still we have to keep functioning. We have to make everything work without her.

My grandpa has to move in with us. We have to empty their house out. There's so much to throw away and every piece of it hurts because it was my mum's and my dad's things. Their life and my childhood happened with those things around us.

Today we organised a container, talked to my grandpa's insurance, talked to the bank, ended my mum's phone contract, changed our phone contract to save money, informed 2 more people who mattered to my mum that she passed, filled out a huge pile of papers, informed a bunch of people about how the plan to empty the house is going, cooked for my grandpa and my aunt, walked the dogs (that's a pleasure, though, it just takes time), send an email to try again to get a therapist, and called the opticians to inform them about stuff, too.

We're knackered and still, it feels like it doesn't get less because the house is still full of stuff, we have to renovate our home office, too, so it can become my grandpa's room.

We're being told we're strong women and brave women and tough and all those things.

Maybe we are, but actually we just want this to fucking stop and my mum to hug us.

I fucking wanna hear her say it's all going to be ok. I'm so tired and don't even have time to mourn.

It ain't fucking fair.

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

[umblrspectrum]

3 years of this godforsaken show

[itistimetodisappear]

Yes we've all heard aroace people complain about the 'you haven't met the right person' line. But to the idiots citing this as the reason aroace people 'aren't oppressed’: No, micro aggressions aren't what's oppressing us.

I could talk about corrective rape, but I'm not going to because that's not what scares me the most. The worst thing about being aroace (aromantic, and asexual to a certain extent) is that society is set up for couples.

Being aromantic is a crushing economic disadvantage. As a couple, you can save more. As a legal couple, you can borrow more. This puts Mortgages out of reach for a lot of aromantics. Adopting too. Although aro people can adopt, you must have a similar income to a couple, which again, rules out a lot of aros. Don't forget Immigration, spousal visas will never be an option for us.

Being poor and aro means you're denied housing, family, international movement, basically anything that allos of a similar income would get. And anything you can get, you'll have to jump through many more hoops for. But we can't fix this by legalising aro marriage, like we did for the gays. Until our society's economic system is completely revolutionised, we'll be waiting.

It's impossible to compare oppression. You can't objectively say which minority group has it worse and I really mean that. But also I'd rather be called slurs and hated by Christians all fucking day.

[jantotrash]

Find yourself an adult older than you who asks respectful questions about your identity from the perspective of legitimately wanting to learn more about you and who you are

(And who also tells you, every time, that you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to)

[fauvester]

something something seeing things through different eyes

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

[corpsentry]

a glass sun 1/2

[halflifebutawesome]

weird and scary this bond between you

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

do you think when cherik fuck all metal items in the room an maybe in the house starts to fly..... bc i do and i can't imagine what's going on with charles's powers help please

idk what happens on charles' end but this was my immediate first thought regarding erik