#strugles of life

[engulfedbymaleficsaturn]

[mellpoint]

I wish I could say I loved you the same. I wish I could say I'm sorry. I wish more than anything that things would've been a little different, I wish I could take away your worries. But the truth is that none of it is real. The truth hurts. The truths tells you I lied and played you and I know that is not what you want to hear. But out of all those made up moments we spent, I was always truthful about one thing. No matter what happens in this life or the next, I will always find my way to you and protect you, for you cannot protect yourself. Maybe that is why you fell in love with me. Maybe that is why you think of us as more. Maybe that is why its easier for me to lie to myself and say that I didnt even feel remorse And when you think back on the time we had. I hope you see all my actions and words for what they were, and not what you wanted them to be. If we are to meet in another life, I hope the ending is different. -M

[leodehurlvant]

BSD doodles from memory

[authorsharonforester]

A Real Life Dream (Monologue)

This YouTube video is a message for all dreamers. It exists because everyone needs to be reminded that they deserve to go after their dreams, regardless of what others say about it. Watch the video and see what Running The Galaxies has to say about the topic.  We need to believe in ourselves, to believe that we are good and strong and capable enough to achieve our daydreaming dreams before we die. This little monologue (or speech) has been sitting on paper for a long time, but now the message is out there for people to hear. Although, it will be up to people what they do after they watch it. Never give up on your dreams!!! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!! A big tip to stop your mind from attacking you is not believing the negative things it has to say about you. Same when others say to your face. I know, I know. Easier said than done. It really is. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t do it. Fight it! When the thoughts come in, take a walk, do a fun activity, or talk to someone who makes you happy. The trick is to distract your brain, keeping it occupied until the severity of the thoughts go away. ​ A fun fact about this topic is that it is the very first thing I wrote as a monologue to act out. It started out as a school assignment in college, but I kept it close inside my time capsule for a day that it needed to come out.

[iheartnimbassacity]

fandom ask game:

awww dave is such a little uwu bean i want to wrap him in a blanket and feed him snackies what a Baby awwwww. the atrocities aren't his fault hes just a little guy he has no agency and is exclusively infantalized :)

((my dear friend, who i care for deeply, you are killing me

[rayyzcosmos]

struggling between 'i want to study, get a job with high payscale, work my ass off, travel alone, visit all my dream countries' and 'find a rich af mature man who can gift me porsche when i get mad, marry him in italy and travel in some luxurious cruise.'

[just-an-enby-lemon]

In Brazil we have the expression "fighting a lion a day" to reffer to dealing with the strugles of day to day life. Rn I think the lion is a coward and should stop being a metaphor and come fight me for realsies.

[autisticlee]

it's so frustrating when I try to talk about struggling with a thing that isn't working, and people respond with telling me to..........just do the thing i'm struggling with that isn't working????

do you people not read or not think before you reply?! or am I that bad at explaining the problem and why I can't "just do the thing" 😭 I really can't tell!

[mellpoint]

Parenthood.

MellPoint 10/25/2023 A Mother’s Force. In the night when no one is watching, She falls to the ground to cry.Upset that she keeps slackingTired that she has to fight. But when she sees their faces,When she holds them in her arms.She knows that she can face it That she can still fill the part. Tired of the constant struggle, The fight, the war.Knowing her heart is full of marks. She gets up…

[yourstoryis]

[harumon]

To the bone

Creo haber visto To the bone un par de veces antes de hoy, la verdad en su momento lo usé como inspiración (quienes hayan tenido problemas alimenticios y hayan usado tumblr en el 2010-2015 entenderán).

Quería ver algo mientras comía y Netflix decidió recomendármela como un recordatorio de que a pesar de que tengo sobrepeso sigo teniendo problemas con lo que como y con mi imagen.

A veces como mucho, a veces poco, a veces nada.

La pandemia me hizo engordar por el solo hecho de que tenía supervisión 24/7 y no podía salirme con la mía. Ahora desempleada desde hace 6 meses estoy en la misma situación, mis hermanas de vacaciones y mi mamá no va a la oficina, por lo que me encuentro en la posición de querer trabajar sólo para salir de aquí y evitar comer.

Uno pensaría que después de tantos años y tantos kilos debería estar bien, que mostrar mi cuerpo en internet para que extraños me vean y me paguen significa seguridad.

La verdad es que a veces me veo en el espejo y siento asco, otras veces soy neutral, nunca me siento a gusto y esa es la única certeza.

Pensé por un minuto que ver la película iba a hacer que milagrosamente recapacitara y me diera cuenta de que comer sin culpas era más fácil de lo que pensaba, pero sólo puedo decir lo siguiente:

La película era peor de lo que pensaba, nunca estuve internada por ese problema especifico pero sí lo estuve con alguien que tenía ese problema y no era tan cute como en la película, más allá del hecho de que puedan existir lugares así, el final me pareció de lo más estúpido, no todos los que llegan al borde de la muerte recapacitan y mejoran, quizás la escena final deja abierto el hecho de que puede ser que no mejore, pero sí da la sensación de que sí es así. Por otro lado las actuaciones dejaban que desear, Lily Collins te amo y a tu papá que hace bandas sonoras maravillosas, pero he visto mejores trabajos de tu parte.

Simplemente se convirtió en otro instrumento que tomé y convertí en deseos de dejar de consumir todo lo que no sea agua, de sentir el vacío y de encontrar un trabajo luego para poder saltarme todas las comidas necesarias.

Siempre he dicho que no tengo personalidad adictiva, o en verdad eso quiero creer, sí admito que tengo adicción a sentir hambre y ese es mi verdadero final.

[trafficpan-ic]

So i watched a program about people with autism on tv with the family. And i genuinly wished everyone would watch it. It made so much clear what is going on in me. What autism actualy is in people. And im crying bcs it made my feelings and everithing i strugle with feel valid! Like i really struggle and almost nobody sees it.

[pjackk]

If u have any conections in the online community please let me know and contact me cuz i need to find out how to buy Www.TheSadTruth.Net to tell my story for the first time on my own terms one last time wich despite it all still rings true even though i was built fucked up and my mind was made to be horible from the very start and ive been havign a hard time lately and realy strugling with my problems and shit and they raised the price of the green juice lime botles si uts realy hard for me to even aford basic necesities of my shitty excuse for a life i cant even make my #FamouisCubanBurban cocktale anymore to go with my cigars im not even able to aford a good stogie every day no more and ive had to downgrade from pappy 23 to pappy 20 fuck my shitty ass life and i just need to be able to let everybody kno how much they have skull fucked me in the ass all the time epecially since the feds and the mens in black at the variuos "Federal" criminal agencies got involved with my phone gig they i was honetly trying to find new friends with my phone and i didnt even mean to take nobodys money or nothin they just gave me the gift cards as a gift for me since they liked me alot so now im on my l;ast legs and cant aford rent anymore since my landlord #BeheadTheLandlors is trying to kick me out of my mental health meditation pad that i need for tranquilaty and self care in hawaiey not to mention #BigGov is not even leting me throw grenades for fishing no more so i guess that was my last ffcking bluefin i will ever get so they are making it super hard for me to even live at a base level and i realy need help and suport u can send me cash on my app called Cash App at $pjack9 if u want to mutual aid me up i will not forget my friends if i get out of this slump but i miht not ever post again since i will be long gone so fuck it i think its time i hoist the white flag bvut my enemys dont even want to see me a live even if im sitting cuteley like a puppy dog they will still blow my iron skull off at the drop of a top hat so just keep me posted if there is anything U would like to serve me with i realy like: Twunks, jocks, tweekers, scratchoffs, CigarPigs, MoneyPigs, PiggyBanks, and Goon Hunniez so dm me yo junk imediately if u want to make me feel so good

The wolves are at my fucking door and I cant keep them out.

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Inumaki Toge being insecure about his speech (or the lack of thereof).

I feel like if he could trade a year of his life for sixty seconds without his cursed speech, he would. Without second thought. And specially because of you.

He's had a crush on you for a while (ever since your first encounter), but he'd never admit it. Not because he's scared of rejection, but because he's scared you'll reciprocate his feelings. Because he thinks you deserve better. Actually, scratch that: he knows you deserve better. You deserve someone so much better than him.

"And then you won't believe what he said! He said: 'I can't date you, cause I'm actually your brother!'"

"No way! That's the plot of the movie? How shitty!"

You deserve someone like Yuta. Someone who can make you laugh with their own words, someone who you don't need to strugle to understand what they're saying. Right now, you and Okkotsu are talking about some bad movie he watched. And you're laughing so hard and your laugh is so pretty it makes him wanna laugh too. He wants to engage on the conversation. He wants to say: "That's one of the worst plots I've ever seen! I can take you to the movies to see a real good movie if you'd like to"

But he can't. He can't, but Yuta can. He should let you go so you can be with someone who deserves you. He has no right to be this selfish, making you a slave of a love without any words of affection.

It feels like everytime he looks at you, there's a nagging voice in the back of his head, painfully reminding him that he can't be with you, and there's nothing he can do about it. It's an impossible love.

Hell, even Panda is making him feel envious and jealous. Even though he's literally a panda, at least he can talk to you. Sing your favorites songs with you. And he can't. At least not without cursing someone (and, God forbid, maybe even you. You're the last person he wants to harm)

He wanted you to confide in him just like how you confide in Maki. You always tell her everything. He wishes he, too, could be a source of relief. A shoulder you can rely on. But he can't. He can't, cause the best he could say in that situation is "Salmon", "Caviar" and other stupid onigiri ingredients that have nothing to do with the actual topic of the conversation. Honestly, he would be tired of himself if he was his friend. You don't have the obligation to understand his dialogue. Nobody does.

So, he comes to the conclusion that he should just avoid you. He should give up on loving you, because he doesn't want you to suffer.

"Toge, please! We haven't talked in days! Why did you suddenly stop talking to me?"

He stays silent. That's the only thing he can do, after all. He can't speak. He can't. But he wishes he could. He wishes he could tell you everything that's going through his head, tell you about how he feels like dying when he sees you playing a game with Itadori and Nobara because he knows he'll never be capable of doing that with you normally. If he speaks now, everything that'll come out of his mouth are foods. Speaking now would only remind him about the drift that exists between you both (and there's two options to avoid anyone's fall: you either close the gap or you widen it. He chose the latter)

"..."

"Inumaki, talk to me" (how sad. You want him to do exactly the only thing he can't do. That just makes him remember that he'll never be enough for you. Never)

Also, wow. You're using his last name. He got in a really bad situation, huh? How will he get out of this? How will he stop your (and also his) suffering?

There's only one way. And even though he swore that he'd never use his spell against you, he finds himself lowering his scarf with trembling hands.

"Leave. And don't look back."

~A/N: This is the fic I wrote that I mentioned on my last post!! I know a lot of people have writen abt this b4, so this is inspired by other stories I've read (if you've written something like this and want me to credit you, feel free to send me an ask!!). IT JUST FITS INUMAKI CHARACTER SO MUCHHH!! Like, I can totally imagine him being insecure about not being able to speak. I just thought I should give it a try cause I CAN'T FIND INUMAKI STUFF, so I took matters into my own hands. I don't realy like this, but I thought it would be a waste to not post it anyway

Masterlist

[shinidamachu]

Do you think Kikyo should’ve been nicer to Kagome and thanked her for all those times she saved her? Some of the fandom even thinks she owed her Spiritual training as well, what do you think?

To me, the thing about Kagome and Kikyo's rivalry is that it felt very one sided. Obviously, they both had extremely valid reasons to hate each other's guts at first — reasons that go beyond Inuyasha —, but Kikyo was the only one actually acting on it.

And she kept doing it even after Kagome has proved, time and time again, that she can be trusted and that she is in no way deserving of Kikyo's hatred.

I think that was a great dynamic because Kagome and Kikyo parallel each other so well: while Kagome was strugling with her own feelings in order to understand Kikyo's and accept her as a part of Inuyasha's life...

...Kikyo was fighting to do the exact opposite and hold on to her grudge. You can tell it by the way she can recognize what Kagome's true intentions were but still belittle her for it and refuse to say anything nice to her face.

It's a extremely compelling "yin and yang" sort of thing that worked very well at the start. What happened was that, at a certain point, Kagome has done so much for Kikyo that any ressentment towards her just felt a little ridiculous.

And I'm not even saying Kikyo should've been nicer and thanked Kagome. I think it's perfectly okay for a female character to dislike another. They don't have to be friends just because they're women, especially when there's so much bad blood between them.

In fact, I don't think there's room for a canon friendship there without it feeling awkward and forced — even though Kagome was obviously trying. I also think Kikyo being nice and thanking Kagome would be out of character and honestly a little underwhelming.

After everything that happened, a simple "thank you" doesn't even begin to cover. And as much as Kagome deserved to hear it, she didn't do anything because she wanted to be the better person or for Kikyo to be in debt with her. She did it because she's a good person and therefore will always do the right thing.

In my opinion, it wasn't exactly to Kagome that Kikyo owed anything, but to the narrative, as a way to earn her so called redemption by being held accountable for her actions, which she never really was.

Rather than Kikyo being nicer to Kagome, I think it would've been much better for both characters if Kagome was allowed to tell Kikyo off every now and then without it being an illusion.

And rather than Kikyo thanking Kagome, it would've been way more natural and meaningful for her to die saving Kagome's or Inuyasha's life instead of Kohaku's. It would've shown more regret and gratitude than any words ever could. Everything would come full circle — since she tried to kill them both while they were only trying to save her — and her closure would feel actually earned.

As for the spiritual training thing, I see where people are coming from and in another universe I think it would've been totally cool for them to have a dynamic like Aang and Roku had in Avatar, but again: it doesn't really work in canon.

More importantly: it goes against a theme that was introduced very earlier in the show, which is Kagome being her own person, doing her own thing, aside from Kikyo.

We literally see her trying to channel Kikyo's powers and failing...

...Then just being herself and succeeding:

If anyone was obligated to train her, that's Kaede, but particularly I like the idea of Kagome being self taught and making the moves up as she goes even better. I think it adds a lot to her character, I just wished Takahashi had explored it properly.

Plus, let's be honest: Kagome was doing a fine job on her own. Kikyo was the one making her life a thousand times harder by coming up with those nonsensical plans. In the end of the day it wasn't Kagome who needed Kikyo to defeat Naraku, but rather Kikyo who needed Kagome.

That being said, if Kikyo were to be nicer and thank someone, I think that person should've been Inuyasha and I will die on this hill. He was risking everything he had because she guilt tripped him into thinking he owed it to her.

"You came for me, that is enough" was not a thank you nor an apology. I can understand her reluctance when it comes to Kagome, but I can't justify her treatment of Inuyasha. Not when she was supposed to love him.

[drakulana]

Hi there! I have a angst/comfort writing about Law x y/n so far and I want to muster up the courage to ask you about this:

Its a bit complicated and rather long, Reader's strugling with trust issues due to her past betrayal and exploitation. Law once despite everything saved her from danger and cured her, even though she really loves him, but when she was mentally unstable, she broke down and confided that he was just taking advantage of her, taking advantage of her feelings, denying how genuine his feelings for her were.

I want to see you write his reaction and everything that happens after that! Hope you have a great day💖

Thank you so much for the request! I'm sorry it took my so long to answer, life has been so crazy! I hope you enjoy it!! @hana-san

late night envy - law x reader

ᯓ★wc: 2.1k

ᯓ★content: angst/comfort, fighting, alcohol consumption

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It was a clear night. You could see every star in the sky. Your captain had given the crew the privilege of surfacing for the night due to a breakthrough on a research project everyone had been working on together. Earlier, all of the crew had been partying and drinking amongst one another. It wasn’t every night that they got to see the night sky, and breathe in the salty air. It was a nice change of scenery apart from the steel walls that kept them so close. 

The party that ensued was one that Penguin and Shachi had referred to as a “rager” consisting of loud music and drinking games that were only ever fun if you were intoxicated. Luckily, everyone was. It had been a while since the crew had got to drink together like this. Everyone was on the top deck, all except for one person. The captain, of course. It wasn’t uncommon for the captain not to indulge in their festivities, but he always showed his face for at least the first half hour. Tonight, to the dismay of everyone on the crew, he was not. Well, everyone except for you. The party was doing its job at distracting you from the burden of the situationship you held with the absent captain, more so the fight you had with him almost half a week ago. 

The relationship between you and Law was never supposed to happen. It blossomed out of the heat of the moment. Like two magnets, you couldn’t help but to gravitate towards one another. However recent events had made you fear that your polarity towards one another had been reversed. These days, Law was scarce. He had a lot on his plate, you knew that, but sometimes you couldn’t help but to feel as if it were personal. He was planning a solo mission soon, and cut you out of the whole research aspect all together. Anytime you would come into his office, he’d dismiss you soon after. Anytime you would try to aid him with any type of research, he would tell you that he could handle it on his own, giving you another task to uphold somewhere on the other side of the ship. How could you not take something like that personal? A few nights ago, you had confronted Law ending in a screaming match between the two of you. You asked him why he was avoiding you, and he denied it. You asked if he was no longer interested in you, and he said that you were reading too much into the situation. I am a captain, and a warlord. I have things on my plate you couldn’t possibly begin to understand. You can’t come in here and disrupt my work, trying to find petty answers to your own insecurities. The words that were said that night had stung, and Law knew he had overstepped. Before an apology could even leave his mouth, you had turned on your heel walking out of the office, slamming the door behind you. Law didn’t follow you, he never did. 

It was now half past two, and your crewmates had finally decided to start turning in for the night. It wasn’t long before the stragglers had left the deck to return back to their bunks. A few crewmates asked you if you were coming inside too, and you waved them off with a dismissive I’ll be there, soon. You didn’t want to turn in just yet, you wanted to sit with the ocean and it’s stars for a little longer. If you were lucky, you’d be able to see the sunrise. It was very rare to be able to see the morning hues of soft pinks, and oranges. A cool breeze wafted over your face, and you took a deep inhale in. It was quiet out here. You couldn’t hear the incessant buzzing of the lights, or the never ending humming of the engines below you. You didn’t feel confined between cold metal walls, and you felt like you could finally breathe. You had a lot on your mind tonight, and to feel just a little less claustrophobic helped ease your tormented mind. You were hoping to find some solace in the waves sloshing against the metal of the ship, and a bottle of sake you had hidden away earlier in the night.

It had been almost four days since you had last talked to Law. Any time you would see him in the halls, or during mealtimes, you would turn the other way. You weren’t going to chase after him, either. The way he made you feel that night was something you hadn’t felt in a long time. The argument made you feel unseen, unheard. All those times that you and Law had shared behind closed doors. All the deep personal talks you had with him, all the sweetness you had saved just for him, felt meaningless. 

 A waft of cold air hit your face, bringing you back to reality. The quiet black ocean aided you in your spiral. You felt as if he didn’t want you anymore. You didn’t know what you possibly could have done to deserve this cold shoulder from him. You took another swig from the bottle of sake that had set next to you on the cold steel deck. You were about half way through the bottle now. You didn’t know what time it was, or how long you had been out here. There were no signs of morning for the next few hours. The sky and the ocean were now just one vast darkness speckled with stars. Everyone inside was probably already asleep in their bunks by now. All but one person, your captain. He never slept the way he was supposed to. You knew he wasn’t asleep, and a small part of you tugged to go see him, but you knew with Law you could never come to him first. He would have to come to you, and usually he did within a day or so, but it had been almost four days now. You took a deep breath, you could feel the alcohol setting into your system. It weighed you down to your chair, slowly creeping into your legs. 

You concentrated on the sloshing of the water against the sides of the ship, trying to pry your thoughts away from the earlier events from the week. It was to no avail, though. You couldn’t help the whirlwind of memories, and the emotions attached to them from setting fire to your brain.  Like a movie behind your intoxicated eyes, it played. All the people you had met before you had been involved with the Heart Pirates, all the places you had gone. Everyone who had ever scorned you was now at the forefront of your mind. nasty words that you had been called, the mistreatment from all of your previous peers echoed against the walls of your skull. It was the creaking of a metal door that had transported you back into the present. You didn’t look behind you to know who it was, you could pick out those footsteps from anywhere. It was Law. You didn’t move, you just stared ahead holding your now almost empty sake bottle against you. You didn’t want to have the conversation you knew was pending in this state, so you simply did not engage. 

Law’s deep voice cut through the sloshing, “It’s late,” he simply stated. You rolled your eyes at the sound of his tone. The way Law spoke always held an assured certainty that only he could make sound natural, but now his words tasted bitter in your mouth and the certainty was replaced with a cockiness that you found unbecoming of Law. You usually didn’t think like this, you were intoxicated. Another reason you wished he would just turn around and go back to his chambers, maybe even go to sleep for once. Law approached behind you, “Still ignoring me?” You scoffed at his audacity. You ignoring him? He practically begged for it the way he talked to you four nights ago. Still, you didn’t let up. You didn’t even give him a word. He walked around into your view. He was wearing a long jacket, his usual jeans, and a white tee. Your eyes studied him. He didn’t look like he had slept, but that wasn’t surprising, he never slept. His hat was unusually missing, leaving his messy black hair ruffling in the slight breeze. It was dark out here, but the moon had lit up the sky enough for you to see him. You made eye contact with him, and you could see something behind his eyes that wasn’t typically there, remorse. Usually that remorse would eat away at your soul, and make you cave, but not tonight. You tore your eyes away from the man standing in front of you, as he let out a sigh. He took a seat next to you, eyeing the bottle in your lap. “You’ve drank… a lot,” He reached over, taking the bottle from your grasp before setting it down on the other side of him. Again, the audacity. If you hadn’t been so drunk, you would’ve snatched it back, but there was no physical fight left in you at this point. 

The two of you sat in silence for a minute, before you heard Law take a huge breath, “Listen, you can’t just ignore-” he didn’t even finish the rest of his sentence before you had snapped your head towards him, cutting him off. “No, Law, you listen to me,” a surge of pain rushed to behind your eyes, only fueling your anger. A painful knot swelled up in your throat, “I understand that you are a warlord with a lot on your plate. I understand that the weight you pull is heavy, but that does not give you the right to be such a dick. If it’s space you need, then you got it, but don’t come out here badgering me about ignoring you when I can’t possibly begin to understand the things you have going on-” Law’s protest started to cut you off, but you didn’t give in, “No, don’t talk. I’m not finished. You had no place sitting there calling me insecure about your neglect whenever we hav-had some sort of relationship. I feel taken advantage of. Then you want to come out here and say that I’ve been ignoring you when I’m actually just giving you the space you so badly wanted? No,” at this point, you could feel the bile rising up in your throat, burning its way up your esophagus. It felt as if all the words that you had wanted to say were crawling up your throat pushing themselves out. You pushed yourself out of your seat, making a beeline to bend yourself over the side of the rails. Before you knew it, you were face to face with the black water emptying all of your stomach’s contents. Your legs shook underneath you, and you could feel Law behind you with his hands on your hips steadying your balance. You wanted to push him back away from you, but you hardly had the strength to hold yourself up anymore. It was frustrating feeling this weak in front of him after you had chewed him out, drunkenly. Once you were done, Law pulled you back up turning you to face him. “Let’s go inside, okay?” He asked you softly. It didn’t matter the protests you gave him, he was dragging you behind him staggering your way back into the ship. 

Once you were inside, Law led you back into his quarters. You were still mad at Law, and he knew that. He sat you down onto the bed digging out some clothes from his dresser laying them beside you, “Get changed, I’ll be right back,” He told you before shutting the door behind him. He returned when you were dressed with a bottle of water and two small white pills in his hand. “Take these, we’ll talk more in the morning,” He told you. You huffed and layed down in his bed, covering yourself with the blankets. Law looked at your figure before taking his jacket and his shoes off, “Can I lay with you?” He asked you, earning a small nod from you. Although you were mad, you couldn’t deny the comfort Law’s presence brought you. He crawled under the blankets, wrapping an arm around your drunken drowsy body, “You know I’m sorry, right?” He whispered to you, “I didn’t mean any of those things I said,” His hand trailed up and down your spine, putting pressure on certain places where he could tell knots were forming. Low hums fell from your mouth as he rubbed your back. You could feel your trepidation melting away as his fingers worked their way up to your shoulders. You finally let your eyes close, and let the heaviness of sleep take you. You would talk to Law in the morning, but for right now, the both of you were okay.

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@drakulana 2024 // i do not give permission to copy, translate, or repost, any of my content without my consent