#striker is canonically sexy

[hazbin-hotel-aesthetics-quotes]

"What he look like, your higness?"

"...hm, sexy?"

"That's Striker, sir!"

[sadhornydemons]

Stolas' Slutty Royal Romper of DOOM!

Seriously, Stolas, nothing good comes when you wear these. Burn them in the fire and burn the ashes again just to be on the safe side!

Who wears short-shorts? Stolas wears short shorts on his freakin' wedding day! But they still made him go through with it.

And not sure if this portrait was done on the same day but:

(the royal equivalent of a drunken facebook photo post) But Blitz liked it enough to make it his phone's contact image for Stolas.

And because I can only see a good view of it from the unofficial pilot:

Non-canon antagonist pilot Stolas was technically the first to wear em!

But since season 2 brought them back with a vengeance, Stolas decided to bring sexy back while meeting with the future ex in-laws:

And we know how well that turned out to be:

And I thought Striker might had damaged them, but no, the top part is a vest:

So, he breaks them out again to meet with Ozzie!

No, wait. These have a stripe on the side. (maybe the original ones were damaged beyond repair) Stolas, how many slightly different rompers do you own?!

At any rate, the visit to Lust does end up getting Stolas the crystal in the end, so the striped romper returns for the ill-fated Full Moon:

Which goes about as well as expected:

The slutty romper is TOO powerful to resist!

But all things must come to an and:

(neither is at fault here, it's the cursed romper!)

Thankfully Stolas was back to wearing barely-there robes and Victorian glam-rock after this. Will the cursed romper make it's return in a future episode? Or will Stolas wisely decide to return to his bird-flesh-colored-pants, or simply show up to court in a Halloween costume he's been wearing for over a month? Time will tell.

[theyanderespecialist]

Happy Father To Be (Headcanons) Yandere Stolas x Loving Pregnant Wife Listener (Helluva Boss) (Alternate Universe)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I'm back with a new chapter! This one is a request of headcanons on how Stolas would react and be like finding out his loving wife is pregnant! Please enjoy this!]

(Disclaimer: Stolas is not Yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously! This is also, obviously a AU, and not canon! It is fine to simp for fictional characters and fictional yanderes! Just do not be gross or illegal about it. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality, and headcanon from canon! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life!)

-Headcanons With Stolas X Pregnant Wife Listener-

.Stolas was over the moon when you told him that you were pregnant.

.He did not even know it was a possibility that you and he could have a child.

.You are so loving to him and kind and perfect.

.After his first wife he thought he could never have a happy marriage.

.But then you showed up in his life, sweeping him off his feet.

.He is a dotting husband while you are pregnant.

.You can not ever carry a box of cereal with Stolas fretting that you are overworked.

.He would be the type to massage your feet and back.

.Which winds up with him making love to you quite vigorously.

.He adores you so much and worships your body, when you do not want sex itself he still worships your body.

.Showing you just how much you mean to him.

.He does not even need to get off for it to be satisfying.

.Stolas also has a pregnancy kink.

.Seeing you full with HIS child! It puts him always in the mood.

.He constantly needs to be touching you, always having his hands on you in some form.

.He would be the one getting up with you in the morning to help with morning sickness.

.Ording you anything you wanted for cravings.

.Giving in to every want you had.

.It almost is too much with him hovering.

.Because he is still a yandere and you are now carrying a new Goetia.

.So he in this sense, is a worry wart yandere.

.In which he would be constantly worried that someone would come after him.

.Like Striker, his ex-wife, his ex-brother-in-law, or even his father.

.Which makes him only let you out with him.

.He cannot risk you being hurt.

.He tells you it is for your own good, that he is keeping you safe and sound.

.Really he is in a constant state of worry that you will be taken from him.

.That yours and his child would be harmed.

.He cannot stand the idea.

.So he may forbid you from leaving the mansion.

.He knows you will put up a big fight, knows you will be hurt, but it is for the best.

.He is also a very protective yandere and if someone were to hurt you.

.He would destroy them.

.You, Octavia, and the future children inside of you.

.That is all that matters, he would even go as far as destroying Stella. In a brutal and cruel way.

.No one, NO ONE! Takes you away, NO ONE harms yours and his child.

.You are his world, and he is damned if his family is harmed ever!

.So in the end he is a doting, protective, loving, affectionate, possessive, father to be.

.You gave him so much happiness he will NEVER EVER let that happiness or you be taken away from him.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Also, this will be made into a video format on youtube! Which also might have a scenario with it, so keep an eye out for that! Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

(The video also has more added to the headcanons (cause I thought of More while recording it XD lol) anyways hope you all enjoy it!) 

(also a mini scenario in the video :D) 

keep your eyes out! 

[elf-kid2]

Helluva Boss AU Idea

The (approximate) events of "Oops" happen at//shortly before S1E1, and Blitz gets an Asmodean Crystal for saving Fizzarolli's life, instead of breaking into a Prince's castle and trying to steal a Magic Book to access Earth.

Things happen more-or-less the same for "Murder Family," "Spring Broken," and "C.H.E.R.U.B," but Blitz is more focused on pursuing a threesome with Fizzarolli & Asmodeus than with Millie & Moxxie.

The Harvest Moon Festival, which they're attending because of Millie, is the first time Blitz has seen Prince Stolas in the past 20-some years.

Blitz also has Fizzarolli on the phone, saying things like "I love that we're friends again, but for the sake of our continued friendship, I'm going to need you to stop trying to share my partner Sugar Daddy with me. We can find you your own Sugar Daddy! One who's focused on YOU, specifically! So that you'll be too busy with that to keep sneaking into our Penthouse for 'Quality Time'. "

As in canon, Blitz stops Striker from assassinating Prince Stolas with an Angelic Sniper Rifle! Unlike in canon, he actually TELLS the Prince about this happening!

Prince Stolas is seeing his "First Friend" for the first time in two decades. He is now a Sexy Assassin who owns his own business, and also just saved his LIFE like a Knight in Shining Armor, and ALSO looks damn good holding a gun and wearing cowboy boots! WOW! Can he get your number, please???

At some point later, Stolas is visiting Asmodeus to consult on if the state of his & Stella's sex-life can be legally considered "grounds for divorce." Because he's thinking of maybe, perhaps, serving divorce-papers shortly after Octavia's 18th birthday, and he wants to be prepared.

Meanwhile, Blitz is visiting with Fizz. This leads to a MUSICAL NUMBER in which Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are aggressively trying to set Blitz and Stolas up together, because they might make a cute couple, and also so that Blitz will stop hanging around their house all the time!

Stolas is somewhat more open to the suggestion than Blitz is, but they BOTH wind up locked in a Sexy/Romantic Room together by the end of the song.

[alexas-fandom-and-random-blog]

I need to get it out of my chest so here's some Striker theories/speculations fandom has come up with that I heavily dislike and why.

Striker has some royalty blood from one parent or both.

Oh God that would suck so much if it became canon cause it absolutely defeats the purpose of his character so far, that of being a lower class imp hating royals with valid reasons even if his actions are violent and sadistic.

As he is he has such an interesting antagonistic role in the story and offers a bunch of good lines directly opposing and questioning the heroes values, choices and morality.

His mere presence and open bashing of the upper class is just good social commentary! If his hatred stems from a combination of his narcissistic nature and bitterness that being born an imp (even mixed or hybrid) robs him from ascending further into the social ladder or even if he survived a traumatic encounter with a royal as its implied and it's fuelled by anger or a combo of all those things all are good for telling a compelling story! All can be done in very interesting ways!

But making him yet another character tied closer to royalty than just being a random person that got screwed over is honestly an underwhelming concept.

Getting screwed over for no good or justified reason should be common with Hell's racist and classist system as its been presented so far and we should get confirmation of that instead of having Striker added to the trend of each of the main characters having special connections with higher ups. It's not only redundant at this point but would make his motivation and social commentary that much weaker.

I swear if it just becomes another daddy or mommy issue imma rage quit so fast!

Striker is half shark demon

His sound design is explicitly constantly emulating the noises a rattlesnake makes. Since he's most likely a hybrid and he says to Blitzo how they are "superior to most of our kind" he's definitely part imp. So we got two halves and we got snake demon and imp, so it's basically covered? lol I don't know how this theory became so popular😅

He doesn't even look close to the design of the other sharks

he only looks like Chaz a little bit.

And lots of characters share similar characteristics like that snout.

This one had some merit with the ringed eyes and imma be real I haven't noticed those elsewhere but like even if he had a grandpa shark what purpose would that serve?

Bah I just don't like it. Let the man be a slimy snake! Its more unique and it suits him better!

Striker is asexual cause he got grossed out by sex jokes

No...just no..

To be clear you could totally read him as asexual! But the reason being the damn sex jokes is giving me whiplash. Striker got flustered and frustrated at best cause the timing of each sex joke was inappropriate as all hell and cause everyone did it as he tried to be intimidating and threaten/kill them. If anything they were bruises to his ego not any indication to his libido.

But like... In all seriousness asexual confirmation deserves more than a reaction to sex jokes.

Hellaverse does it better with Alastor. In his case it does tie in with his sexuality.

Same goes with all the theories that he's homophobic too.

He did the sexy villain thing trying to seduce Blitzo like so explicitly and smiled when Blitzo called it hot then! What are you talking about?

Different situation, more receptive to sexual undertones and instigating them too. That's what I'm trying to say!

And again. Asexual reading can apply. But it can't be just the sex jokes alright?!😭

(yeah yeah it's a joke on itself. still valid I get it.)

Striker is related to Crimson and Moxxie.

Oh this one is the worst one and absolutely gives me a heart attack and thank goodness for the crew's soft confirmation that they aren't via strixxie fanart cause no joke I'd cry since its my favourite ship!

It's just similar horns!!! Striker was designed as a mix between Moxxie and Blitzo and that's the only reason why!

Striker also had sexual tension with Blitzo on screen are you gonna tell me they are related too cause he was designed with half of him in mind?

I hate this theory so much.

Granted purely for shipping reasons but holy shit it got popular and I hated that!

I've had enough with turning every ship into potential incest just cause and harassing fans over it!

Got such "Fizz and Blitzo are siblings" deja vu😬

Ahem...

Anyways yeah that's all.

To end it more positively I love the snake man! Didn't spot him on the trailer but still hope we see him in the upcoming episodes🥺

Preferably doing shit like this and traumatizing everyone lmao! (with no godawful statue jokes in sight thank you very much)

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

g1 Prowler sweep, come on. He's nice and sleek but he's got those door wings you can grab onto. Sure he's obviously a cop car, but hey, who doesn't like a bit of roleplay? It'd be fun to tie a cop up. He even has huge boobs

Don't you dare ruin this for TFA prowl, TFA needs to secure at least ONE w or I'll be incredibly sad. Please, he's all I have

He does it in canon near the start of the episode Black Friday

TFA prowl is still kind of an asshole but he's like "cat that used to be a stray and will scratch and growl if you pet him for too long but he still very much loves you," g1 prowl seems like a sweety pie but he also seems like he's got all the personality of a cardboard box with a smiley face drawn on it. IDW prowl appears to be a big tiddy war criminal which would be very sexy if he weren't also a huge cunt. Cyberverse prowl appears to only like guns and have a weird situationship with shadow striker. RiD prowl would be a good boy if he wasn't a damn dirt cop, but I respect the people that do want to fuck him. I know absolutely nothing about Unicron Trilogy prowl but I'm glad he exists.

I honestly don't see tfa prowl as a name dump like some folks are commenting, like it's not like we had much to go off other than guy with police theming and a monochrome color scheme. It's no worse than Bulkhead given his previous iteration was like. Just some weird old dude. And honestly? I'm glad we have him 💖

[zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u]

a BUNCH of Garu/Karu meta, part 2: eyes, Karu-fronting units, In Defense of Sexy Garu/Karu, Leroy & Garu conspiracy, Update to Rei/Gramps theory, general "character development"

So over here I wrote a bunch of Garu/Karu meta zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u.tumblr.com/post/737197419853398016/ and I knew that eventually I'd wanna write more, so here's part 2!

Once again, disclaimer that I have not played every event nor watched every intimacy rooms so I am definitely missing some lore. If anyone has additional info to my questions, lemme know! Also, spoilers everywhere!

A) Blue eyes or yellow eyes?

In a couple comments of phaerlax's fics, he suggested that Karu's eyes are actually blue and I thought I'd follow up with some ~canon~ evidence.

Ch7- every mention of their switching involves language, attitude, and mannerisms, nothing about eye color.

Ch13- Kolt is about to kidnap Garu when Karu takes over. It's very fast and happens all in 1 sentence so there isn't space to mention any eye colors, but Kolt doesn't realize they've switched until Karu has kicked him in the face

Master's Gift- when Karu is pretending to be Garu, Eiden realizes it with the language and voice again, not eyes.

Howling Cyclone- when Garu suddenly takes over with no one around, the text narration only says "the wolf yokai closes and opens his eyes before dashing..." No mention of eye color and this time its from the third person text narration, rather than Eiden or any other character's POV.

Misty Vale- when the young wolves encounter Karu, they don't realize that Garu has switched until Karu announces to call him that. At the very end of the MV event when Garu declines joining the wolves, Eiden pats his head only to realize that its Karu due to his reaction.

Binary Starlight- no mention of eye color, but the modeling people, store owners, and Karu's fans, only refer to him as Karu or Mr Wolf Yokai, including when it's Garu taking Karu's place during the competition announcements.

Desert of Dusk- no one realizes when its Garu and when it's Karu

Some people might have noticed this by now, but Garu's ally units all have blue eyes in their sprites. But when you're actually battling, OG SSR/SR/R/N are all Karu voice lines. HC & EG Garu seem to have more Garu battle voice lines than Karu voice lines. I don't have all of them, so if anyone is willing to help me look into EB and FF Garu, please do! In a cool meta way, the fact that the sprites have blue eyes yet its Karu's voice coming out, indicates to me that Karu's eyes are probably blue.

And lastly- have you noticed Garu's battle loading screen pose, OG loading homepage, Bliss promotional pic with everyone's OG poses + new Dante/Blade/Rei, and Garu's sprite in the opening animated sequence? He's manspreading and has an angry face. Yes, we've seen Garu angry a number of times, but in the new loading homepage with Rei and Dante, Garu is smiling and Garu's angry face is usually still quite cute. I think the OG version is Karu and he has blue eyes there.

B) Karu Fronting Units

Ok so slightly following up from that last bit. I had a idea once, where it would've been cool for Karu to front in the offensive/defensive units, such as strikers and guardians, and Garu to front in the supportive units, such as buffers and healers. Especially since the battle voice lines already do that (see point above). This would be extra cool cause it lines up with their lore/personalities and DID system. Karu is the protector alter, doing a lot of the Dead Zone surviving, and it'd make sense for him to do offensive/defensive battle units.

But also- Binary Starlight Garu should have totally been Karu fronting. Frozen Echoes, while Garu is onscreen more often, is about Karu wanting to sing and then getting kidnapped. But more importantly, the intimacy stories are about Karu's modeling competition. He's also a striker and, as mentioned, I thought it would be cool to have Karu being the strikers.

Endless Banquet Garu probably would have been nice to be a Karu unit because part of it is about Karu wanting to go to the yokai festival, but it was also Garu's 1st event SSR, so it makes sense that he wouldn't be.

So here's to me sending out into the universe that we get a future Karu main event SSR. He's still missing a saboteur and I can see a saboteur going either Garu or Karu.

C) In Defense of Sexy Garu/Karu

People's biggest problem with Garu is usually how young he looks and acts. You are not wrong if you are uncomfortable with Garu/Karu being sexualized! That is totally valid! This section is not for you. This section is for ignorant haters. (Garu/Karu are just fictional characters so I don't think too defensively on this so I won't be offended if you still do.)

First up- Garu/Karu is not a shota. Shotacon is defined as underage/prepubescent/pubescent boys in an erotic/sexualized manner. And yes there are muscle shotas. But Garu is not one of them. Depending on the lore, Garu is 19-33+ (possibly older, see that other post where I calculated his possible age) and he has a young adult proportioned body. However, he has a major babyface and acts puppylike/borderline childlike and does appear younger than the rest of the cast. So it's possible that he's shota-adjacent and I can see why people think he'd be the "1000 year old loli/shota" characters.

Next- puppy play! Have you heard of animal roleplay and specifically leather puppies? Have you met someone whose done puppyplay? Seems an awful lot like Garu right? You'd be right! I'm more of a handler, but a lot (though not all) of the (western) puppy players I know go into a (dumbed down) puppy headspace, act hyper, head scratches, play fetch, bark, treats, and "treats". (Naturally, IA studio is writing from the Asian perspective so the scene might be different there & they probably didn't consult any puppy players anyways, but there's no set "rules".) Sound familiar?

I'm like 99% sure Garu/Karu is supposed to represent puppy play, not shotas. There's a reason the most common imagery of a leather puppy is a pup hood, some kind of gag, collar, chest harness, jockstrap, butt plug tail, and leather boots. Also sound familiar? It's very close to OG SSR and SR Garu, and when the devs gave BS Garu a jockstrap, that sealed the deal. Same with when they made Garu/Karu an omega in the A/B/O event.

Now that we agreed that Garu/Karu is puppy play and not shotacon, one common factor amongst puppyplayers is the sexycute factor. As in, the puppy could be acting cute and affectionate and puppylike while getting fucked. Head scratches while doing a blowjob. And so on. NU Carnival characters fill a variety of sexy roles and while we have 2 other yokai, Garu is the one that fills the puppy play role. He's not a furry, but he's the closest thing for those who are into it. And of course, he (and Kuya) are the token kemonomimi. I'd argue that Garu is actually more human that most puppies I've seen/played with since he is primarily bipedal and talks fully in a human language.

So yeah its fine to sexualize them because of the sexy archetype they fulfill!

D) Leroy and Garu Conspiracy

So this is a wild and possibly impossible conspiracy theory. At the end of Gambler's Paradise, we get a scene between Aster and Rei talking about a mysterious "that group". In ch 13, Rei tells us that Council of Sorcery is trying to replace the need for Huey's essence. Throughout Gambler's Paradise, we find out that Leroy is a recent imperfect familiar that was a result of experiments with Huey's essence. Throughout Misty Vale and Ch 13, we get hints that Garu might have been experimented on by the Council long ago.

So my conspiracy theory is that both Leroy and Garu were experimented on by the same Council of Sorcery, even if they were from different departments. Garu was possibly more than a decade or several decades ago and Leroy was within the past couple months or year cause he didn't start causing chaos in Aster's casinos until recently. This means that either there are different departments focusing on different experiments, but also totally possible that back then, they were experimenting on removing Huey's essence and now they're working on replicating Huey's essence.

Bonus weird similarity between Garu, Leroy, and Morvay- they all really REALLY like eating their choice of preferred food, and get hungry very easily. (Ok Garu technically might be super hungry cause he had very little food for many many years, but still)

HMMMMMM LORE MIC DROP.

E) Update to Rei is Gramps/Garu/Karu backstory

Here I theorized that Rei might be Gramps and other people have theorized or drawn fanart of this too. HOWEVER, Howling Cyclone does have a major problem in that we see Gramp's ghost.

What i propose to fix this: we don't know when ch13 or Eerie Escapade happened and realistically it's probably because Rei wasn't created as a character yet. But I can explain this lore away with saying even if Rei died "long ago", we dont know when he was reborn. And hey, maybe for all we know, the Gramps ghost was actually Father, realizing that even if Garu has Eiden, Karu could use some more support and decided to go revive Rei. :shrug: Or maybe they'll retcon the Howling Cyclone ghost like they retconned Aster's dick.

F) Garu/Karu's ~Character Development~ (not H scene specific)

(Warning for rambling!) So in my post about whether or not Kuya has character development and if it's even necessary, I mentioned that Garu & Karu needed character development. In various replies (but not my post), one comparison I've brought up between Kuya and Garu/Karu(+Zuko) is the difference between slow gradual changes and the heroes journey. And I thought I'd elaborate on that some more.

To clarify on Kuya- he's over 200 years old and has been changing slowly over time since forever. He started the story already having changed over time and will probably not stop going through this kind of slow gradual change, simply due to the fact that time passes and he's immortal. And while Eiden plays a part in present day, overall Kuya is not having major story beats causing massive changes.

The cool thing about Nu Carnival's cast, as evidenced by Kuya, is that everyone is on different points of their ~character development~ and Garu/Karu is starting from their very beginning. Yakumo is also starting from the very beginning. Whereas someone like Dante, Olivine, and Edmond are already somewhere further down the adventure. Or they have a different kind of character development path like Kuya, Rei, and Blade.

Now for Garu/Karu. So the classic heroes journey is a story template where the protagonist gets a call to adventure, meets various character archetypes, endures many trials, and returns changed in some way. Obviously it's not a 1:1 matchup with Garu/Karu's story, but he does get a call to adventure (joining the clan), meets a mentor(the clan members), and is currently still enduring many trials. This is what I mean by he has a big "heroes journey development". And using this pattern, we can predict that Garu/Karu will continue enduring more tests, before encountering a major ordeal, conquering it, returning back a changed man.

Now why is Garu, or more specifically, Karu's character development important or necessary? Much like how Yakumo started out his heroes journey as a "newbie", Garu and especially Karu start out as "newbies", with limited empowerment, not that many skills yet, MANY basic things to learn (and amnesia, or at least Garu has amnesia. Karu is debatable). Karu has big dreams, really big dreams, and while they're played for laughs, he absolutely sucks at those big dreams. He's either going to achieve those big dreams, change those big dreams, or lose his delusions of grandeur and that will be character development. His current stage in life, lack of power (and stamina lol), trauma, and unfortunate circumstances are preventing him from achieving those big dreams. Garu is more chill and mostly just wants to have Fun with his Master and help people where he can (including helping Karu). However, he also lacks power, is a newbie to things, and got that traumaTM that just causes him problems. Garu also kind of represents the coming of age plot- they may have gained basic survival skills in the Dead Zone & had no social skills, but have also started dabbling in learning and leadership in Forgotten Fruit, Eerie Escapade, and Misty Vale. He's slowly becoming braver. They also didn't know how to read before meeting Yakumo & Olivine, but now they can sort of write sentences!

As for their role in the story & how it ties in with character development. He's the cutesy comic relief like Blade or Topper, but also, as mentioned in my Kuya post, that they're a victim of the Gemstone plotTM. SPOILER TERRITORY. One major conflict that the plot is coming against in the main storyline is altars going haywire and the Council of Sorcery and Garu (and possibly Leroy) might be the key to solving this mystery. However, with his amnesia and limited empowerment, they can't really progress with it. Therefore, it is crucial for Garu/Karu to experience ~character development~ to move forward.

If you got this far, thanks for indulging in this longass analysis post on my favorite wolfboys to roll around in thinky thoughts. Possibly more to come as more ~lore~ is revealed.

Once again, I haven't played every event or intimacy room, so if you've got answers to my questions or additional contributions, please lemme know!

[justanotherhh]

tbf striker has been confirmed To Fuck so in his case it's def just him seething that no-one is going along with his gritty semi-realistic cowboy roleplay

yeah, I can see that + I'm all about the fucked up power thing going on with Striker's obsession with Blitzø, where he wants Blitzø to be like him and understand him and respect him and maybe be a horse sometimes idk and Blitzø keeps denying him the pleasure of being equals (contrasted with Fizz who just seems to disgust Striker... although maybe we've hit the event horizon, now Blitzø has blown him up... we'll see.... wanting to just hurt/punish Blitzø is also great-as-dynamic)

I do think though that on the show proper (so not word of god or outside promo) there's a fascinating distinction between Striker's opinion of himself -- that is, that he IS sexy and talented and has a big dick -- and how much he'll allow other people to get into his space. Yes, there's the "stop ruining this for me!!!" thing when Moxxie, Stolas, and Fizz (although... not Blitzø? at least not enough to warrant a comment... but that may be because Blitzø's big kink fantasy is horseplay, which fits very nicely with what Striker's all about) turn a violent moment into a "sex thing," but there's also little things like kicking away the fan who's trying to get at him in Sweet Victory, or being really annoyed by the theme tune singers, like Yes he's Sexy, but can people please just stay the fuck out of his way and let him do his Job DAMMIT

this more headcanon territory than Alastor, but I do imagine him as aspec, probably along the lines of autosexual, with a dash of powerplay and cowboy roleplay that can lean into the sexual but Only if all the other right pieces are in play first!

but also there's an interesting Aspec Meta Thing in Hazbin/Helluva that's added when you have all the sex jokes and clearly allosexual characters (although, one can always HC aspecness), and then there's a character there that on some level Does Not Like It and/or avoids it -- so far Alastor and Striker. it opens up a line of thinking about the pervasiveness of sex and boundaries that I will immediately go ooh keep talkin' at

this meaning that while Striker may not be canonically aspec, he does add an aspec dimension to the narrative, because people keep getting into his fucking space with all that sex stuff and he wishes they'd fucking stop

so yes, he wants to break Blitzø like a horse. yes, that's kind of hot. don't even make it weird, don't even- *Striker yelling at his Blitzø-poster while drunk!* (how does he have it? did he steal one of Blitzø's own stick-drawings of himself?)

not-so-subtly pushing my "fucked up Striker/Blitzø" agenda with all of this, I'm noticing (it's gotta be fucked up though for it to work for me. has to be)

[chaifootsteps]

tbh sarcastic chorus is losing me w his newer vids and maybe he'll pull me back, not that it matters since hes just a reviewer on the internet, but still. dude wants to give the benefit of the doubt towards hazbin hotels pilot VA cast being mostly replaced by celebs, the wonky animation that looks WORSE then the pilot, and vaggie disappearin, but cant seem to enjoy tadcs characters outside of the archetypes the characters are. ironic considering hazbin hotel constantly has characters thatre too similar to each other design or personality wise (adam and mammon, fizz and angel, etc)

"caine is just spamton" ok? and alastor is just dr facilier but less sexy because hes not dark skinned (despite him being born in New Orleans and canonically being mixed?) charlie is just star butterfly. blitz is just roger from american dad but with trauma. striker is just mako from long gone gulch. like i could do this shit all day

Eww. Glad I never watched this dude's videos, because I sure as hell don't want to now.

[lostbutterflyutau]

2, 4, 5, 6, 23, and 24 for Velvette and Camilla please? I don't have emojis so just picture the devil emoji cuz hell

YAAAAS. Let's GO!!!

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Velvette: Her attitude and looks. Seriously, girl is serving. Even though it is immature at times, I just love her overall aura and aesthetic. Plus, I love how observant we see her being in the bit of time she gets on screen and the fact that her looks change so frequently, which speaks to her position as a trendsetter and fashion designer.

Carmilla: Like Velvette, I like her attitude, but for different reasons. She's clearly been in position for awhile and that reflects in the way she conducts herself. I also love how she will literally murder for her family. I have a thing for protective characters who are also secretly soft with certain people (in this case, her daughters).

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Velvette: Oh, geez. I guess I never thought about it much. Maybe something akin to Project Runway/Rainbow where I could see her being a great judge.

Carmilla: This is super obvious, but considering Striker is mentioned as having a Carmine-crafted rifle, it would be cool to see her in Helluva Boss. I know it will never happen, but the idea intrigues me.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Other than their respective songs from the show:

Velvette: Shameless by Camilla Cabello, but that's because I ship her with an OC of mine and it reflects that.

Carmilla: Sexy Bitch by David Guetta ft. Akon, for... reasons. I'm simping respectfully.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Velvette: Hmmm... Fashion, I suppose. Not in that we dress the same, but enjoy creating it (even if I just do sketches).

Carmilla: Not much, actually. The only thing I got is that we're protective of and will go to bat for those we care about.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

(This is my favourite Velvette look (Planning to cosplay it eventually!). And I just love the attitude you can see in her everything here).

(Carmilla with her hair down is EVERYTHING. DAMN GIRL. YOU A SEXY BITCH. (And I will cosplay you as well one day)).

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Velvette: We haven't seen many side of her, but in some ways, Velvette reminds me of early Carla Delgado. Like, season one through mid season two where she was more ornery and disrespectful before Ash happened and she chilled out.

Carmilla: No one, honestly. Like, she has traits in common with other fandom characters, but I can't peg just one character from a fandom I've been in as being similar. Or I'm just blanking right now.

[theyanderespecialist]

Striker's Moxxie Girl (Headcanons) Yandere Striker X Female Moxxie Reader (Helluva Boss)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter, this one was requested from Tumblr. It is Yandere Striker with Reader who is in the place of a female Moxxie. The Headcanons for it! I hope that you all enjoy it, also at the time of posting this! I hope you all have a great holiday! 

(Disclaimer: Reader is taking the place of Moxxie and is Female so she/her pronouns. Striker is not yandere for any Moxxie in canon and is not yandere in general. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all. Simping for and Shipping characters is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!) 

Thanks!] 

-Yandere Headcanons With Striker X Female Moxxie Reader- 

.Striker at first was taken back by the wee little lady you were. 

.He wanted to say you were vermin, but man were you a cute as can be vermin. 

.He fell for you right away and wanted to show off to you how strong he could be. 

.Though it came off as him being an asshole. 

.He hates your wife, Millie, she is NOT good enough for you, and he wants to kill her. 

.When he first choked you it turn him on, you were just so damn little and he could crush you, the power he had over you made him want to fuck right then and there. 

.Of course, that whore Millie had to get in the way. 

.He was not going to kill you because he planned to come back for you. 

.When you went up against him he was angry you were rejecting him and he swore he would have you. 

.Mark his words, he would have his darling little lady. 

.Later when he meets you again this time he is going to kill Mildred or try to. 

.He is pissed at himself that he missed. 

.He is even more pissed that he had to run away without you his darling future wife. 

.But he will not stop he will make you his wife and have you. It is just a matter of time. 

.Striker is the type of yandere that starts as confident, calm, cool, and collected. 

.He knows that he is the best choice for you and that you and he would be an unstoppable husband and wife duo. 

Of course, you are being a VERU disobedient future wife, so when he does get you. 

.He is going to have to break you like a horse and build you back up into the perfect wife and partner in crime. 

.Although each time he loses you he becomes more and more unhinged and unstable. 

.He is only a few loses away from snapping, breaking into your home, killing your wife, and fucking you next to her corpse. (Let's hope it does not come to that...) 

.He would be the yandere to snap very much so. 

.He will kill anyone who gets in his way. 

.When he does confess to you, it will most likely be when you are kidnapped. 

.He most likely will make you go into Stockholm syndrome. 

.Possibly even putting a baby in you. To keep you in line and under his thumb. 

.He would love to kill with you, but the idea of you being a housewife and doing as told is a nice thought to him too. 

.It could go either way with you being his partner or staying home as a housewife. 

.He is the type of yandere that KNOWS he is the best and knows EVERYONE Else is not good enough for you. 

.So if you were to lower your standards and let yourself be with others he would have to punish you. 

.You are the ONLY One good enough for him, so that makes you his and his alone. 

.He is also a very controlling and demanding yandere. 

.As well as very possessive in the way he feels like he owns you, and that you have to do what he says when he says. 

.He also may or may not be a bit sexist. 

.The one thing for sure, you are his darling and you do not get a choice. 

"Come here, Darling, y` better be a good girl, or I have to punish ya~" -Stirker

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS finally got another one done, I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins! BYE!!!] 

[woomycritiques543]

Have you seen the newest tweet about the next Helluva Boss episode? Looks like Striker's coming back, and once again Stolas is gonna be a focus in the episode. I'm assuming it'll be a Stolitz wankfest again with Striker being jealous. Something tells me they'll have blown a lot of budget on getting Norman Reedus again, so they may kill Striker off.

I'm a former supporter of the show (before I knew about all the horrible shit that happened behind the scenes), who slowly began to lose interest during Season 1, before leaving the fandom in Season 2.

I'm worried this episode will be more of the same. Thoughts?

TW: Blood, Gore.

I personally just feel that Striker's entire existence is a Stolitz wank fest. Even from the beginning, they made him have the brain of a rock (he tried to shoot someone with the door unlocked, in a populated house- WHAT THE FUCK?! 😂🤣) just as an excuse to have that angst fest with Blitz to make us feel like it's somehow "wrong" for Blitz to be with Stolas. When Stolas is awful?! He's the literal monarchy that's being a jerk to their species? So whether Striker had alterior motives- killing Stolas would actually help them since he OWNS IMP SLAVES and feeds off of their labor like other species! Is this series seriously trying to suggest that the audience should side with the monarchy who owns slaves in the show just because the writers find them to be hot? What kind of message is that?!

People also keep fetishizing the fact that Stolas is being kidnapped-

-when Striker stabs him?! Why the fuck would you fetishize that?!

LET ALONE SHIP THE CANON RELATIONSHIP WHERE ITS A KIDNAPPER AND HIS VICTIM WHO HE IS TRYING TO ABUSE AND KILL?! Why is Stella abusing Stolas "the last straw" but Striker doing it is seen as "hot and sexy/quirky!" ?! Again, as ive said before, people will use the "ship and let ship!" excuse to have black propaganda ("black" as in the color not the race.) to pretend as if being a creep is on the same level of being gay just because both are looked down upon. They'll pretend as if shipping toxic relationships and shipping gay ships are somehow "in the same catagory of problematic" just because they're both looked down upon in certain places.

When people hate people that are gay for prejudice reasons.

-and people hate creeps because they HURT PEOPLE!

One being unjustifed, while the other is entirely justifed since they misrepresent actual traumas and cause people harm! So if a ship is toxic, maybe... I dont know... dont use it as an excuse to publically fetishize trauma? Maybe dont be an asshole to trauma victims and weaponize trauma as an excuse to be said asshole?! Maybe give a shit about the messages you people are sending out there since it's being posted IN PUBLIC?! Maybe dont be an asshole people?!

-and back to the episode: Seeing how they'll probably have millions of scenarios where Striker could kill Stolas easily but then just go the "HE TORTURE STOWAS BECAUSE HE'S A MEANIE!" route to make him have no brain, same for Stella "TORTURING POOR STOWAS!" and having no personality as an excuse to make people go "🥺" at Stolas as much as humanly possible. It sucks, because I really wanted to like Striker. He has a cool design and I really like his voice but DAMN have they fucked up his story to hell and back!

[citadelredlightdistrict]

Stella x Striker

Mammon x Stella

i got the idea for the second ship after seeing a comic about it

Stella x striker, I'm waiting for this to be confirmed canon. Like seriously, their relationship feels inevitable for their shared hate boners for Blitzo and Stolas.

Mammon x Stella: Honestly just no. I hate Mammon, I really enjoy hating him too. But I'm not into him like as a sexy thing. His design just doesn't excite me. It feels like an ugly bastard scenario for Stella. I can respect tormenting her with him, but not for me.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because if Raichi just shut up he’d pull LMAOO also if he didn’t say weird shit like “man I can’t play my sexy soccer”??? I guess that’s more tame already for bllk boys but uh

Ouu ok now that you mention it I can imagine nsfw accounts probably get more hate comments…like in a way just because it’s nsfw it’s more polarizing in a way where people can use the fact that’s it’s nsfw as an excuse to talk shit and whatnot….tbh I also think you’re probably safe?? But either way I got your back tho o7

LMAOO no literally it’s impossible to not throw at least one meme moment out there…but also HAHA I can’t wait not only to read it but also to see how long it ends up being LMAOA I’m placing my bet here and saying 15k for now

AHAHAHA honestly when I first started diving into the “manga only” characters I also felt that way…but hey I mean who’s stopping you from having two men to dedicate your blog to!! My b for fueling those thoughts LMAOAO the Karasu ideas were just too good though hehe

I’m ngl I completely forgot notes were a thing HSGSHS ok but yeah honestly really just a matter of popularity because that Sae tag is overflowing (also just generally even on social media like tiktok almost every other bllk post I see involves the Itoshi bros like) trust once people are shown tabieita it’s over for your notifications…(bro I’m STILL not over them not showing Karasu in the trailer??? We just got his chin like NO I need to see the hair too please Otoya did look majestic in that though!! Also in a recent interview some animating director I think acknowledged how s1 had to be a bit rushed because of deadlines but they have more time producing s2 so I’m hoping that means animation glow up?!?!)

YEAH HE WAS CAPTAIN IN FWTKAC!! But literally like honestly he should’ve been captain for the u20 match too Rin was NOT leading anybody let’s be real…also I was under the assumption that captains didn’t have to be the aces or main strikers of their team either? Like aikus a defender too ugh we could’ve had captain Karasu but whatever!!! I’m fully believing that in some point in time he was captain of Bambi

LOSERSEXUAL LMFAOOOOO TRUE!!! Something about the sad loser boys tugging at y/n’s heartstrings…I’m crying because literally Hiori canonically does NOT leave the house and Karasu would be there like “babe I can deal with all the taxes and finances and I’m captain and I style my hair and I’m smart and can read social cues too and I have friends and-“

Sassy younger sibling who humbles and puts their older sibling into place when they get a big head due to popularity >>>

LMFAO MALE PATTERNED BALDNESS I did not know that was the name for that type of buzz though so, the more yk!!

Well you guessed correctly I was giggling kicking my feet like “omg the smash reference and Otoya finding out sheik is a girl mentioned” HAHAH Otoya not realizing his own feelings is now my favorite>>>

Ok wait but the real question is HOW MUCH WERE THOSE CUPCAKES?? I’ve seen many a ridiculously priced dessert and I’m curious about how much you imagined them being LMAO

No me too I can never imagine myself being with a cheater or even being much more than surface acquaintances with one!! It just doesn’t really make sense to me but FR honestly you wrote it really well because when I read that I could FEEL the teenage dumbassery like this is definitely more so a stupid boy still in puberty limbo who doesn’t really know how to go about actually loving someone and is kinda just recklessly having fun in a way that society has kinda established

I LOVED IT it had the exact vibe of “oh no that’s just my homie that I like spending every second of everyday with nothing more than bros though” that I had imagined Otoya would have if he ever actually loved someone SHSHS CANNOT WAIT have fun writing the Karasu one I just KNOW it’ll be a delight to read

Also wait I’m gonna mash the light novel thoughts here too

And yeah I know a bit!!! Definitely not 100% fluent by any means but enough to be able to consume media and have most everyday conversations I just mainly can’t do super niche technical terms LOL It does take me a bit longer to read than if it were in English No you’re not dumb at all LMAO that’s exactly what I meant when I mentioned translating earlier on HAHA

As mentioned before though I’ve only gotten through like chapter 1 of yuki’s so far partially because of slower reading but also because I got sidetracked doom scrolling after trying to dig for a tiktok LMAO

BUT I almost cried looking at the index though one of the later chapters for yuki is “a lifetime’s worth of tears” GOODBYE I think we all know what that’s about :,,,)

Once I finish read them in their entirety I’ll come back and slap more formal summaries of each chapter but basically YUKI IS SUCH A SENTIMENTAL BOY SHSGSH basically first chapter details his first day of elementary school/entrance ceremony (he’s got a loving set of parents thank god) but basically he’s a rather mature boy and is pretty stoic and shy so he worries about making friends. As he’s walking in there’s Sakura trees in the yard that are causing petals to fall and yuki grabs one and stores it in his pocket (that’s where he gets his “fetish” from ig LMAO) In the end he befriends his seatmate and another girl, and ofc the way they first meet is just via self-intros and reading each others name tags and the name tag part is highly emphasized in the chapter!! His seatmate makes it a point to stare at his name tag and the girl literally like yanks his shirt to get a better look at the name tag (LMAO). Anyways, first day goes well and yuki goes home with his parents all happy and whatnot until he gets home and starts changing into home clothes and realizes his name tag isn’t with his jacket like he thought it was supposed to be!! He gets all frantic because the name tag was really special to him, since his mom had handwritten his name onto it and (this next part is more implied) it was a memento of his first day at school where he managed to make friends! So he literally runs out like mom I can’t find it and his mom’s like “oh no! We’ll just have to order you another one then” and yukis like “No..that one was special..” so literally right before they plan to eat dinner he runs out back to school to try and search for it and ofc (as the non negligent parents they are) his parents chase after him!! They end up going back and forth tracing their steps from their home to school like three times and yukis like on the ground searching under cars and just checking everywhere and after their third try his parents are like “it’s time to go home kenyu…we’ll order you another don’t worry! You must be hungry now” and begrudgingly on the verge of tears yuki’s like ok…and goes to take some sakura petals from the ground at least to make up for it but turns out his name tag was buried under the petals shdgshsh he’s so happy he’s crying tears of joy* and he’s glad he didn’t give up and his parents are hugging him as he cries and he thinks to himself “God was looking out for me, as long as I don’t give up, these sorts of wonderful things will be sure to happen” and it ends with “His honesty and determination gave birth to a small miracle”

It was so cute he really held that name tag close to his heart even after just one day!! And he’s very perceptive..like when his parents were getting ready to go back home he realized that they’re probably also exhausted and you can kinda feel that he feels bad about that which is why he reluctantly agrees to going home! He was also really nervous entering school LOL even his parents were a bit worried that he was too quiet/stoic to make friends

Ok onto reading more so I can come back here or maybe by the time I’m done I’ll have just decided to compile a large list of summaries LMAO

-Karasu anon

please ignore how crazy quickly my chronically online ass is responding to this LMAOAOA but yes i feel like raichi is missing a certain smth that would allow him to get away w saying bs?? like if we look at the unholy trinity of making sexual comments while playing soccer we have shidou which like ok that’s just shidou, karasu who is so chill normally + established as a menace that it kinda cancels out, and aiku who’s hot enough that it’s acceptable somehow?? raichi doesn’t have any of that going for him plus we have literally never seen him play “sexy soccer” a day in his life so what is he even talking abt 😭

i agree i think nswf/dark content accounts naturally are more susceptible to hate just because they’re writing abt things that may or may not be acceptable to the general public so people freak out abt that and their automatic response is to hate…honestly it’s a shame LMAO i’ve also seen a lot of stuff on tik tok where younger people in fandom make fun of older members of fandoms and it’s just like 😭 who do you think is making half of the content you consume 😭 because it for sure is not your fellow twelve year olds who are still learning grammar 😩 personally i am many years away from being even close to thirty so i don’t take it PERSONALLY per se but idk it’s just sad i wish people would abide by the whole “live and let live” policy because why is it hurting you that some random adult you will never interact with irl likes watching anime or writing fanfiction?? HAHAHA anyways rant aside yes i think i’m in as much of a green zone as you can get in terms of being safe from hate so i try not to worry too much 😩 like what would people even be mad abt…sorry for writing too much abt karasu ig???

I LOVE THE KARASU IDEAS DON’T WORRY LMAOO he’s my king nagi just gets the “first bllk character i hyperfixated on” award so he will probably remain number one for a while just because of that 😭 although like as much as i love him i know for a fact that irl i WOULD be going for karasu because as much as i like taking care of other people i have been too spoiled for my entire life to ever go for someone who wouldn’t continue a that trend i fear that nagi may not fit the bill 😫💔 he’s still my man though it’s ok

HAHAH we avoid the itoshi bros here as you well know 😌 unless it’s a request or they’re a second lead i will NOT be writing those mfs!! on this blog we care about side characters only 😍 and nagi…he’s kind of his own thing though LMAOAOA and yes it looks like the animation will be much better which i’m super excited abt!! i didn’t hate the bllk animation for s1 that much either so it really can only get better for me

OKAY I THOUGHT SO and yeah i feel like karasu lowkey acted like the captain for the whole u20 game too?? like he was making calls and plays on the field (even though lowkey isagi stayed ignoring him KDCJSJS) as well as arguing w the ref got injured AND ego called him the heart of the team so idk why he wasn’t the captain…rin being captain made no sense bro didn’t even like his teammates 😭 i think it was just to further show that he’s the “best” but he did not have one captain-like moment in the entire game 😩 i’ll cry if he’s the captain of the u20 world cup squad…give me captain karasu/aiku or give me DEATH jinpachi ego ik you see karasu carrying pxg and bossing everyone around pls give him what he deserves (i wouldn’t mind aiku though just because he’s the oldest out of everyone and def has experience as a leader)

LITERALLY KARASU IS CRASHING OUTTT what does hiori have that he doesn’t (besides an erotic left leg) like he’s sobbing on the floor BEGGING y/n for a chance and she’s just like 😍 you mean that man hasn’t seen the sun in a week ⁉️ i NEED him 🤤 (hiori is none the wiser he just thinks karasu is up to his usual nonsense and he doesn’t have enough social intelligence to realize a girl into him)

heheh i love throwing little references to our convos into my fics i think they rlly add a certain layer to them (otoya sheik scene vs karasu drowning scene who will win) i’m glad you appreciate them!! and YES oblivious otoya my king i love him sm

$50 USD is what i had in mind!! that’s why y/n freaks out like otoya is hooking her up with the GOOD shit meanwhile he can’t even be bothered to spend $10 on the girl he’s actually dating LMAOAO he is actually insane a little bit 😓 the way the bakery wasn’t even having a sale so he had to have KNOWN y/n wanted cupcakes from there, went inside for specifically that purpose, texted his sister to make sure he was getting the right ones, and then spent a lowkey ridiculous amt of money all because he “wanted her advice” like i need him to be so serious rn…

yeah that’s also why i didn’t have y/n actively pining for him until he decided to better himself!! ofc she very clearly liked him a lot but she was far too aware of his nonsense to do anything abt it until he fixed himself and came to HER as a better version if that makes sense?! ofc it was her advice that made him realize what he had to do but she didn’t put in a drop of emotional labor it was all him!! i think that’s the only way to handle a character like him without devaluing the mc or making her seem stupid for getting w such an obvious red flag

that’s the vibe i wanted to give off like he thinks they’re such good homies that his strong emotions are because of their friendly bond!! i bet you he mentally little-sister-zoned y/n for a hot minute because there was “no other explanation” for why he liked her so much and she was best friends w his little sister so it only made sense to his dumbass

OKAY YAY I’M GLAD I DIDN’T MISUNDERSTAND that’s rlly fun!! japanese is such a cool language there’s so many intricacies to it which i think are so fascinating (but make it rlly hard to learn i’m sure). i’m bilingual too in that i can speak hindi fluently (and better than a lot of people who actually live in india can) but sadly i cannot read or write it so i’m always jealous of people that can read another language

the doom scrolling on tik tok is unbelievably real my tt screentime is so bad 😰 it makes up for it by being the source of many of my greatest ideas (that’s how i justify it) as well as my favorite edits…just the other day i saw an edit of marc snuffy (the ubers coach) and his one friend that committed suicide to the song “forever young” i lowkey teared up (not actually but ykwim)

STOPPP MY HEART YUKI IS SO SWEETTTTTT and he actually had a kind and normal family YAY!! i feel like this reaffirms what we were talking abt where he just doesn’t care about random people’s lives which is why his egoist bible entry is what it is but he’s def rlly caring for the people he’s close to 🥹🥹🥹 ugh the way he invented greenflagism…also PLS he started young w those cherry blossoms jeez 😭 yes pls keep me updated w the ln idk how long it will take for it to be translated so i am relying on you 🫡 in return i will give you bfb karasu’s version 😈 i think that’s a fair trade 🤫

[sinnerzforsaintz]

//

The extent of my divergence for my muses specifically Helluva because Hazbin has no true canon yet lol

Blitzo- Hates Stolas, uses him to get what he needs, doesn't actually want to be fucking him and that's why he uses the most extreme shit on him...he's hoping he'll stop their arrangement himself and will let him continue using the book

Crimson- Loved his wife, trans, didn't kill his wife but let's Moxxie think he did, was in a T4T relationship with his wife, not homophobic (because seriously he's hellborn that's just ridiculous to have him be homophobic), didn't put dicks in his walls lmfao

Moxxie- Decided mines not married to Millie as a main but if he interacts with a Millie, I'm not just going to ignore their relationship

Striker: Asexual himbo (I guess this is fanon divergent too lmfao)

Chaz: Well he's alive for starters lol, is super depressed, lived in his car, uses the big dick energy as a facade for just how stupidly hopeless he is, actually likes romantic films which is why he has so many tropes prepped and ready, works on the side as a stripper for bachelor/ bachelorette parties (you know those singing telegrams? he does sexy versions of those too)

[vizowrites]

SECRET REALATIONSHIP AU FOR BLITZSTRIKE

Oh. Yes. Yes, a THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES YES!!

This is one of those AUs that would be sooooooooooo easy to do for BlitzStrike and also something that I would be absolutely fascinated to see if they ever decided to play it out in canon.  Just imagine it--

Blitz knows that if he tries to openly have a relationship with Striker, Millie’s going to be unhappy and Moxxie’s going to straight up try and kill him.  He doesn’t even know whether he’s referring to himself or to Striker with that “him” but honestly he doesn’t want to see it happen either way.  Then again, even Blitz himself doesn’t fully trust or forgive the snake imp for what he did to his M&Ms--it’s the one thing that his stupid sexy cowboy persona wasn’t able to get him to completely overlook.  Buuuuut at the same time.....I mean, the stupid sexy cowboy thing does do things for Blitz.  It’s not even just the sex appeal either its...its...

.....it’s nice being with someone who just wants to be with him for once.  

In every other relationship he’s ever had, there’s always been something else there with him that his partners have always loved more.  With Fizzarolli, it was the spotlight.  With Verosika, it was Beezle-juice.  With Stolas, it was himself.  Blitz on his own was never enough to fully satisfy any of them.  He was just never enough in general.

Until Striker.

He still didn’t know why or how or--fuck, it hurt his head to think about it for too long, but how the fuck was he supposed to know Striker would be so different??  How was he supposed to know that this fucker would look at him and smile at him and touch his face like he was the most important thing in Hell?  How was he supposed to know that their secret nights together would consist of desperate kisses and heated touches and having intimate things like “I’ve been thinkin’ about this all damn day” and “can’t get you outta my head” and “I fuckin’ missed you Blitz” whispered right into his ear even before they’ve managed to get all their clothes off?  And just what in the name of Lucifer’s ballsack was he supposed to have said when Striker proposed the idea of the two of them starting to see each other in secret other than: “Hell yes, now kiss me again, Cowboy”?  Because that was the only thing that he could think in that moment and he wouldn’t take it back now even if he could.  He wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life--and that was saying a HELL of a lot.

He wanted to be enough.

And with Striker, for the first time in his life, Blitz felt like he was.

.....But he didn’t think that would be enough for them.  The other people in his life that he gave enough shits about to not want them to leave because he was yet again being a selfish asshole.  Moxxie was pissed--and rightfully so--because Striker not only tried to kill him twice but also hurt his wife.  Millie was pissed.....for basically the exact same reasons that Moxxie was pissed, and again, fully justified in being angry.  Loona.....well, okay, Loona actually didn’t have anything much against Striker personally, but Blitz was still worried about how well the two of them would get along and didn’t want to bring someone into the picture that would make her feel like she wanted to leave it.  And Stolas--fuck he did not want to think about Stolas in this.  On a good day, Stolas would just do his fancy rich fucker laugh and pinch his cheek and tell him how cute he was for thinking any relationship with Striker would stop the transactional fucking between the two of them, and things would be expected to carry on just like they have been even though Blitz hates every fucking minute of it.  On a bad day though.....

A small shiver rippled down Blitz’s spine, feeling an unnatural chill at the thought as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself.  Fuck.....

On a bad day, Stolas refuses to let Blitz use the book unless he breaks things off with Striker immediately.

On a bad day, Stolas decides that he’s been too generous with giving the book to Blitz in exchange for sex once a month and decides to up his payment to things he doesn’t even want to think about.

On a bad day.....Stolas just rids himself of the problem by killing Striker with a glance right from the start.

Blitz won’t let that happen.  He won’t let any of it happen.  He might be too selfish to just stop seeing Striker completely, but he cares too much about the other people in his life to force all this shit on them too.  

So for now, it’s just his and Striker’s dirty little secret.