#streams where we all try something new Together... working on skills!

[blue-slxt]

English Lessons

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: Just a little drabble for a funny idea that I had. It's super short, but I think it's funny and cute. It feels very on brand for Lo'ak. All characters are aged up.

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, that's pretty much it.

Word Count: 500+

Summary: Lo'ak helps you practice English so that you can surprise Neteyam.

You stand with Lo’ak just out of sight of Neteyam.

“Just like we practiced, okay?” Lo’ak says to you in hushed tones.

Your ears and tail perk up with excitement. “Got it.”

You had asked Lo’ak for help practicing your English so that you could communicate with your mate in both of his languages. And he was more than happy to help you out. As a matter of fact, he was downright giddy to help you learn.  It was sweet. You always got along well with Lo’ak and he was a good teacher. He was patient in helping you make sense of the foreign feeling sounds on your tongue and praised you when you nailed a new sentence.

Today you had finally felt confident enough to try out your new skillset on your mate. With a big breath to calm your nerves, you walk past Lo’ak and over to Neteyam.

“Ma’Teyam!” you say approaching your love. He turns and instantly melts into a smile when he sees your face.

“Hello, yawne. I missed you.” He says wrapping you in his arms and placing a kiss to your cheek. Now was the perfect moment.

“How was your day?” The words feel unnatural leaving your mouth, but you’ve practiced enough to know that your pronunciation was spot on. And you can tell from the look on Neteyam’s face that he’s surprised and a little proud.

“My day was good.” There’s a hint of laughter in his voice. “Where did you learn that?”

“Lo’ak has been helping me practice so I could surprise you.” Your heart swells with glee as you see Neteyam’s admiring gaze.

“He says I’m a natural.”

“He’s right. You are doing such a good job.”

Your face visibly lights up registering the fact that you can finally start to understand Neteyam’s English.

“What else have you learned?” he asks with genuine curiosity, but he also just really loves hearing you speak and seeing how happy you are with your new skill.

You think about all the phrases that Lo’ak has helped you learn over the last month or so and try to settle on one. There was one that was a little funny sounding, even for it being English, but it’s also one of the more complex sentences you learned and you wanted to show off a little bit. Plus, Lo’ak said that Neteyam would love it.

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.” You say proudly turning your face up to look at him.

Neteyam’s eyes go wide and his mouth is agape. He immediately flushes at your words and laughter erupts from behind you where Lo’ak stood watching the whole interaction.

You whip around to look at him and he is doubled over on the ground with tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard.

“Lo’ak! What are you thinking teaching her something like that?!” Neteyam chastises him, but Lo’ak is too amused to care.

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion about what just happened.

“What’s wrong? Did I mess it up?” you ask.

Neteyam’s face softens when he looks at you, “No, yawne. You did so well. But how about from now on, you practice with Kiri?”

Taglist: @soleilmoon @netemoon @fifia-writes @strangersav11

@eywascall @neteyamsluvts @heart-an0n @iman-lu @xylianasblog @theunfortunateplace @hyejusdiary @savvysscandles @randxmthxughts @tiredmamaissy @yeosxxx @atwow69 @potatoknishesofficial69 @bellstwd @iseeyouuu @afro-hispwriter @simp4ff @universal-s1ut @lokokokkok @parisdailysposts @mynameisjuno @andraga12 @tallulah477 @uaze123 @nelissecrectplace @angrypomeranianwifey @perfectxserendipity @yumimak @rainbowturdz @rhiannonhippiegirl @sullymenrhot

(Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist. If your tag isn't working, please check your settings.)

[arc-misadventures]

So for vtuber AU, several of the girls and/or boys from the academy have already made their debut in your entries. So I thought what if "Errantry" reacted to the recent re-debut of one of the members of the cabal, which is a short anime

the jepella rebelion

The VTuber: Maiden of the Cabal

Errant: Well, well, well. Look who’s back.

Errant smiled at the camera as he finished the video. He hadn’t expected an old acquaintance from his past to reemerge, it was certainly unexpected, but a welcome surprise nonetheless.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

GoodDoggo: Who is she?

FallenDesire: You know her?

Lucious: She’s pretty.

QueensGuard: Sounds like you know her.

~~~~~~

Errant: That everyone is, FallenEmbers. No wait, Fall4Me, she goes by that now, that’s right. I knew her back when I used to play, The World of Remnant: Hunter’s and Monsters. It was this massive mmorpg that I played back in the day, it’s where I got the name, and design for my, VTuber avatar, The ErrantryPaladin. Fall4Me was, FallenEmbers back then. Hence my confusion.

Errant: It’s nice to see her coming back to the VTubing scene. I heard she was on before, but something happened. Oh, well I’m just happy she’s back, and hope she does well.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

GrimmKitty: So you do know her.

HellJumper1337: Were you friends?

~~~~~~

Errant’s body fell back in his chair as a deep breath of air escaped trough his nose. He looked heavenlyward as he wistfully remembered the old days.

Errant: I did know her, we were friends… of sorts. I met her back when the, World of Remnant: Hunters, and Monsters mmorpg was at its peak. I was still my lonely, Huntsman self while she was a, Huntress in the service of the, Cabal, the in game version. I never knew this when we first met, we just stumbled across one another, and did some missions together. Just because I played alone doesn’t mean I didn’t occasionally team up with other players. Little did I know she was trying to recruit me into the, Cabal.

Errant: Now, you have to understand something about how the, Acadimies, and the Cabal’s organizational structures work before I continue. You see to join a, Academy you as a player had to reach a minimum level of level ten to join an academy. This was to ensure that all new members were relatively skilled, no greenhorns, and the like. Basically, they wanted the new players to know the basic understanding of the game.

Errant: So once you joined a, Academy your characters bio gets the tag of: ‘Student of academy ‘X.’ And, once you reached level fifty you graduate from the academy, and become: ‘Hunter of ‘X’ academy.’ This was basic stuff to tell where people were from. You get different stats bonuses, and equipment based upon which academy you graduated from, not to mention players with certain individual characteristics tended to gravitate towards certain guilds. Giving each their own unique flavour to them all. The Cabal however, didn’t operate like that.

Errant: The Cabal recruited its members. Whether they be from, Atlas, or Shade Academy, it didn’t matter, their members would find you, scout you, and if you passed their tests they would offer up an invitation for you to join. While a graduated Hunter from, Mistral Academy would be said in their character profile, It wouldn’t say you were a member of the, Cabal. So its members could be anyone. This added a rather unique feature to the games overall gameplay. But, as I said; to join the, Cabal you had to display certain characteristics that the, Cabal would find desirable, and then they would invite you to join them. That’s how they did it to me, when FallenEmbers tried to recruit me.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

QuitenDown: Sounds like the beginning of a love story.

HellJunper1337: Yeah, a tragic one.

~~~~~~

Errant: So, whilst on a mission to find some rare metals to upgrade my gear I stumbled upon, Ember. Ahh, I liked to call her that, because it was quicker to say, and I’m lazy.

Errant: So, it turned out she was also looking for the same minerals that I was. And, since the area we were in is an a royal bitch to fight in we decided to team up, and we made a deal: She gets the first ore we find, then I get the next. Simple as that. We made off with a lot of ore that day… Anyway, after that we parted ways, but stayed in contact, we would occasionally join up on missions together, and generally had a blast. And, then she told me the truth, she was a member of the, Cabal, and wanted me to join.

Errant: Honestly I always had my suspicions about her. She always felt distant, and overly cautious around people. Anyway, I… I don’t remember what I said, but I remember arriving at the, Cabal’s headquarters in the, Grimm Lands, where she gave me a tour of the place. I learned how their operatives operated… ha… That sounds weird doesn’t it? ‘Operatives operated.’ Sounds like improper english, but no, it’s correct.

Errant: Uhhh… where was I…? Oh yeah! So, I learned the ins, and outs of how their operations worked, met some of their members… And, then I betrayed them by luring a, Titan Class Grimm into their base…

And, with those few words his chat exploded into a shower of startled, confused, and dare say, aroused comments.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

UWU_Knight: You did what?!

Lucious: Titan Class?!

RighteousPotato: Why would you do that?!

LRDirection: You betrayed them?

KinSlayer: Betraying an evil organization is one thing, but YOU betraying anyone is another thing entirely!

HellJunper1337: Evil, Errant confirmed!

RunnerDowner: Why?!

LouderDesires: Cue the sexy art!

PokéGirl69: Sexy evil smile~!

LitteDragon: You betrayed someone?

~~~~~~

Errant looked at the last comments before he rolled his eyes, and continued on with his tale.

Errant: Now, before I go on about how I did it, first you must learn why I did it. So, the Cabal was mostly jokesters; nothing overly evil, evil, just general bullies who raided supply lines, and caused the occasional, Grimm attacks on an innocent village. It annoyed people, but they added spice to the game. However, that commonly held opinion changed when the, Apprentice Massacre happened…

Errant: For context, we called players who were below level ten apprentices; They’re not at a high enough level to become academy students since they’re still in training so we called them apprentices. So, the Apprentice Massacre was an infamous incident where a bunch of, Cabal members got together, and started hunting down, and killing apprentices for the hell of it. Now this may not sound that bad, but there was a game mechanic where every time you die you’d lose one level. It happens every ten levels; say you’re level twenty seven; and you die eight times, you won’t go down to level nineteen, you’ll stay at level twenty. So, need I explain what happened, when a bunch of, Cabal members started killing a whole lot of apprentices?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

RunnerDowner: No way?

SumPenny: They dropped them to level one?!

KinSlayer: That’s mean!

RighteousPotato: What did they do spawn-camp them?

LunarFlower: I heard about this!

HeadHunter: I was there when it happened, it was brutal.

~~~~~~

Errant: Yeah, over a dozen, Cabal members who ranged from level thirty to forty started basically spawn camping, and killing apprentices in the starting area. There was about… seventy apprentices there, and they were completely outclassed by even the weakest members. So it was a slaughter, they tried to put up a fight, but what could they do?

Errant: However, fortunately for the apprentices, and unfortunately for the, Cabal members, I was there.

He smiled a wicked smile as he remembered that day, and more importantly what he did that day. It was the day that legends were born, and he was the start of them all.

Errant: I was in the area walking to the next area to do some quests I picked up, when I came across the, Massacre. I made a quick message to the Academies, and several, Hunter’s I was acquitted with for back up, and after that I went on a bloody slaughter. The Cabal members didn’t know what hit them! I mean, I was a solo player in my seventies, and it didn’t matter how many of them there were, I had soloed plenty of, Grimm hordes before so this was a cake walk for me.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

QuitenDown: I bet you looked really cool when you did that

Dragondeeznutz: Bet he looked hot too

VulpineRanger: He’s always hot.

GrimmKitty: But he can be hotter!

HolyNevil: True.

GermanLeopard: Good point

~~~~~~

Errant: I looked cool, least that’s what people said I looked like, chat. Back to the story, it was much easier when other players came in, and started protecting the apprentices with me. But, to make a long story short we managed to beat them off, and save the apprentices. A whole lot of things changed in the community after that happened.

Errant: Mostly codes of conduct, recently Graduated Hunter’s now had to mentor, and protect apprentices until they become students. A right of passage if you will. And, people’s general hatred towards the, Cabal, and what they did. People went inquisition on their asses. Specifically the, Atlas Academy, they really went after them.

Errant: …

Errant: Which now that I think about it actually makes sense since it’s, Atlas. If you know the lore, you’d understand.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

HellJumper1337: What did they do?

RangerFang: We went ham on them

BunnyDownUnder: Witch hunt baby!

LunaFlower: They hold grudges.

WinterBitch: Yeah, they’re a spiteful bunch.

~~~~~~

Errant: Yeah, they’re a spiteful bunch. I’m not spiteful, no I’m not spiteful at all chat.

Errant: I am however… very, very… Vindictive~! Ah~hahaha~!

Errant gave off a roguish smile that as he chuckled as he remembered all the incidents he scored his revenge against those that wronged him. His dark chuckle, and devilish smile brought an explosion of heart emojis throughout his chat feed.

Errant: Ahhhh… Good times.

Errant: Anyway, so I had a grudge against the, Cabal because I thought that what they did was cruel. People may tease, or prank apprentices , but what they did pushed the line. So, when FallenEmbers showed me to the, Cabal base I knew what I wanted to do. You see, the Cabal headquarters was located in the, Grimm Lands. And, there is a whole mess of, Grimm there: From Beowulf, Apathy, Beringals, Chimera Grimm. Delta to Alpha Class. And lastly, Titan Class.

Errant: Now, you may be asking: How does the, Cabal operate in the Grimm lands without getting attacked? Simple: They get covered in a Grimm repellent that prevents, Grimm from attacking you. The Grimm will attack you if you don’t attack them. So… I went over to one the nesting, Titan Grimm’s, and I… woke it up.

Errant: Titan Class Grimm tend to… incubate until they reach a certain… No, no that doesn’t really make sense… How do I explain this…?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

Corgimorgi: Waiting for the butterfly to hatch from its cocoon?

~~~~~~

Errant: Yeah, that’s works, thanks, Corgimorgi. It slowly grows in its cocoon until it hatches, and marches off to one of the kingdoms, and unleashes all hell upon them. If rumours arise that one of these were sighted, and, all available, Hunter’s is tasked to go out, and confirm if there is one. Everyone is terrified of these things, the first one that was ever encountered levelled, Shade Academy. It took them months irl to rebuild the academy, and it took them a year to reclaim all the land, Vacuo lost to a surge of, Grimm attacks.

Errant: At the time of the attack, Vacuo had a strength over nearly seven hundred members, and they barely, barely manage to defeat it. They had to call for help from other academies to kill the damn thing! So… How do you think the, Cabal managed to deal with a, Titan Class Grimm with barely two hundred members?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

GoodDoggo: A bloody slaughter.

Gundam#UWU: They most likely got curb stomped!

HellJumper1337: I almost feel sorry for them.

KinSlayer: Did you stay to fight it?

~~~~~~

Errant: Nope! I got the hell out of there after it started attacking their headquarters. I let them burn! It took them days, like a week to kill it too. I know because I poked the bear, and I got Exp from when it died! Went up three levels because of that. I basically crippled the, Cabal for months after this! They couldn’t do a damn thing to anyone, they were so busy trying to rebuild they couldn’t be bothered with messing with anyone else.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

Likelyaghost: So you destroyed the, Cabal all on your own?

~~~~~~

Errant: No… I crippled the, Cabal all on my own. The Scorpion Incident… That, that killed the, Cabal…

Errant went quiet as he remembered a rather uncomfortable event that had transpired years ago. He took a deep sigh to calm his nerves before he continued to tell his tale of years gone bye.

Errant: So that’s how I met, Fall4Me. You know… I never told anyone that I was the reason the, Titan Grimm attacked the, Cabal. Fall4Me never contacted me again after the attack… I wonder why; Did she know I was the cause of the attack? Maybe that’s why she never contacted me… Probably called me a traitor for betraying her trust, and our friendship…

He stared off into the distance as he pondered these questions in his mind. He sighed another deep sigh before he shook his head, and readdressed his stream.

Errant: It matters not… What’s done is done. For that was then, this is now. So chat, to welcome back an old… acquaintance. We’re gonna raid her! Send her my well wishes, and welcome her into the fold chat!

Errant pressed the button, and sent his chat onward towards, Fall4Me’s stream with a smile on his face, and a roguish smile on his face. Thinking of all the good times they had together, and he couldn’t help but wonder, where did is long lost friend disappear to? But, most important of all:

Why is her model wearing an eyepatch?

~~~~~~

Fall4Me’s Stream

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: Hello everyone, I am Fall4Me, and welcome to my stream.

Fall4Me: I am a, Huntress in the service of the, Grimm Cabal. And, I hope you enjoy watching me as we plunge the, World of Remnant into absolute chaos~!

Fall4Me: Here we will have discussions about very things: Music, video games, and various other things that… Hmm? What the?

The howl of a Beowulf echoed throughout the stream to signal a notification. One that she had not expected on her debut stream.

Fall4Me: I’m being raided? By who…?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

HellJumper1337: Hi, Ember!

GrimmKitty: She’s pretty

BunnyDownUnder: Love the eye

FallenDersires: Errant sends his regards!

Dragondeeznutz: Whoo raiding!

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: Ember? Wait, how do you know that na… Wait… Errant? ErranrtyPaladin! H-He sent you?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

HellJumper1337: Yeah, he told us all about you

Corgimorgi: It was a cool story

SummerDaysNightmare: Were you friends, he didn’t sound certain about it?

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: We are… were friends of sorts. But, tell me chat, what did he say about me?

There was an eagerness, and an honest desire to know about how her long lost friend felt about her, and she hoped her new found audience could answer her questions.

~~~Stream Chat~~~

DungeonSiver18: Why listen to us when you can watch him talk about you?

QueensGuard: Yeah, watch his vod!

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: Hmmm~? Now doesn’t that sound like a novel idea~! Alright chat, let us see what our beloved, ErrantryPaladin thinks of us~!

~~~

Fall4Me: Ahh, I remember that day, I was looking for, Gundrite. It’s a rare metal used for upgrading a, Hunters gear. I was looking for the ore to upgrade my weapons; I had a pair of twin swords that I could stick together to use as a bow. I wanted to increase my damage output, and then I stumbled across, Errant doing the same thing. Just as we found our first piece of, Gundrite.

Fall4Me: I thought we were about to have a fight over who got the ore. But, he said I found it first, and it was mine to take. It was… surprising really. I often tend to get into fights against players while looking for rare resources. It surprised me more so that he recommended that we team up to gather more resources together. And, it worked very well. I got more then enough ore. It’s not a surprise really, a level thirty, Huntress, and a level forty, Huntsmen such as ourselves is a very powerful duo to face against.

~~~

Errant: ‘And, then I betrayed them by luring a, Titan Class Grimm into their base…’

Fall4Me: HE WHAT?! He sent that damn, Grimm after us?!

Her eye ignited in flames as she looked on his smiling face as he unapologetically admitted his crime.

Fall4Me: It took the entire, Cabal nearly two weeks to kill the damned thing!

Fall4Me: It levelled our training grounds, obliterated the landing pads, decimated the hospital, and spawn camped the entire, Cabal for weeks! Seriously it’s aoe attacks were so strong that a player would die, then respawn, and then be killed by its next aoe attack! There wasn’t a single one of us whose level wasn’t reduced to a tenth!

Fall4Me: Then we all got branded as, Titan slayers, and everyone knew that a Titan awoke in the, Grimm lands meaning we were easily marked out as cabal members because of that! We couldn’t go into the field because of that!

Fall4Me: We were crippled for months, and we never made it back to half of our original strength. It was hell!

Fall4Me: But, why?! Why would my sweet, noble, Wolf do this to us? Why…?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

BunnyDownUnder: She said ‘my wolf’

FallenDesire: Another one?

LRDirection: But why is he a wolf?

Lixxen: Guy knows what the ladies like

QueensBeedom: It’s his roguish charm

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: Lets continue the video, perhaps he’ll explain why he did this…

~~~

Fall4Me: Oh…

Fall4Me: The Apprentice Massacre. That most certainly explains things…

~~~Stream Chat~~~

Gundam#UWU: Were you a part of it?

Dippernipper: We know you’re evil, but are you that evil?

Beowulf#38k: She’s evil, but will she stay hot evil?

~~~~~~

She laughed a whimsical laugh as she read her chat feed. Relishing in delight at their innocence.

Fall4Me: Oh chat, I am always hot; More often than not its metaphorically, but often at times its quite… Literal~!

Fall4Me gave the camera a sultry gaze before holding up her hand as she flexed her fingers as it was enveloped in flames. She held a blazing fist before setting it out, and resuming with his vod.

Fall4Me: But, no I wasn’t involved in the, Apprentice Massacre. Yes I was a member of the, Cabal, but I was off doing other things irl when it happened. Even then I wouldn’t have partaken in such an action. Because the headache they caused us because of that was an ungodly amount of work to fix.

Fall4Me: Well, we mostly went into hiding, and laid low for a while. I eventually went again to see if I could recruit, Errant to our side. He was a loner, and outcast I thought he would easily join the group. I thought he was genuinely interested in joining us. But, he appears more interested in how to destroy us. And, good gods did he ever manage to do so…

~~~

Errant: ‘So that’s how I met, Fall4Me. You know… I never told anyone that I was the reason the, Titan Grimm attacked the, Cabal. Fall4Me never contacted me again after the attack… I wonder why…’

She looked away nervously for a moment before readdressing her chat as she saw them flood her chat with the similar question of why she talk to her precious wolf after the attack.

And, why did she call him, ‘Her Wolf?’

Fall4Me: Oh… I was just too busy rebuilding the, Cabal to contact, Errant. Besides, I thought he would be upset if I tried to wrangle him into helping fix the mess the, Titan Class Grimm caused. Or, asking him to fix his mess as it were.

Fall4Me: Then the whole, ‘Scorpion Incident’ happened, and the, Cabal was done for. There was no chance of rebuilding the guild since members left; they all left, right, left, and centre. To the point it was only a, Cabal of one. No big battle, no final stand, it just slowly burned out, and poof! It was gone.

Fall4Me: I need to talk to, Errant again, explain some things, ask him how things are going. Reconnect with my friend for old times sake. Would you like to see that, chat?

~~~Stream Chat~~~

GrimmKitty: Yeah! That sounds cool!

HellJumper1337: Friends reunite!

BunnyDownUnder: Lets see where she stands

Beowulf#38k: Idk these two seem like a good pair

Lixxen: Old war stories sounds fun.

Helsreach: I bet he’d like to talk to you too.

RunnerDowner: Do eeet!

~~~~~~

Fall4Me: Alright then chat. Let’s go see what my noble, Wolf is there~!

///

Ahhh… This took days to finish… I just couldn’t finish it. But, it’s done!

I like doing these lore posts, it’s fun to let the mind make stories like these.

Do you guys enjoy these kind of posts, or are they just a bore to you? That’s just something I’ve been curious about.

Till later then.

[mustainegf]

→ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 —➤ 𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑴𝑬 𝑵𝑶𝑻

We later sat with the fire, where the flames chased away the cold that froze in the air. He took to poking, tending the fire with skilled hands. The sun streamed in through the trees, making everything, for once, feel normal.

"Did you sleep well, dear?" James asked softly as he turned toward me.

I nodded with a small smile. "Yes, thank you... I feel better."

He smiled back at me with those warm eyes of his. "I see you returned my jacket." He gestured to the coat now wrapped around his own form. "That meant a lot to me. Even though I’d rather you have it, thank you."

His look warmed my chest with a small flame that had nothing to do with the fire itself. "I didn't want you to be cold," I answered softly. "You've done enough for me already."

James nodded, thoughtful and settled beside me on the log. For one small moment or so, we sat without talking, sorting the popped fire. Then his face became graver, and I already knew he was going to broach the subject he had mentioned last night.

"Clarice," he said, and his voice was serious and cautious, "there is something important I need to discuss with you."

I turned fully to face him, my interest now piqued, but my stomach sloshing. "What is it?" I asked, sounding like a mouse.

James sucked in a deep breath, his eyes meeting mine very slowly. "I've been tracking down a gang of horse thieves for some time. They've been causing a hell of a lot of trouble in these parts, and it's been my job to find ‘em and put a stop to it."

I felt the unease pooling as I listened, still a bit confused why he was telling me this. The mention of a gang of criminals in the area just complicated my already confounded situation.

"With your amnesia, I was worried that perhaps you may be one of their victims," James continued. "I wonder if they might have something to do with why you were out in the wilderness all on your own, hurt."

His words scared me, and I tried to focus on his face, hoping his steady gaze might loosen some more details from my memory. "I… I don't know," I stammered, for my mind raced to remember anything that might be helpful. "I can't remember much of anything..."

James extended a hand, and I gave it an urgent grasp, ignoring my heavy beating heart as he held my hand in his. "I know this isn't easy, but do you think you might be able to tell me something? Anything that you might be able to remember?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried with all my might to work with him. Partial images flickered through my mind, but nothing became complete, nothing I could offer him. Frustration and helplessness both boiled in my stomach at the same time, and I could feel my chest getting tighter.

"I can't..I can't remember anything," I quavered.

His hold on my hand tightened somewhat, his thumb working in soothing circles against my skin, and it was the only thing I could think about. "It's all right, hun," he said softly. "You don't gotta remember right now. We can try again some other time."

Tears of frustration tried to spring to my eyes, and I bit my lip to keep them back. "I want to remember," I whispered. "I want to know what happened to me."

His face softened, and he reached out to brush a stray tear from my cheek. "I know you want to," he said gently, "and you’ll remember. But for now, you need to heal. The answers will come back to you when you're ready again."

"Thank you, James," I fell to saying in a very low tone. "For everything."

He smiled at me again, warm and honest, like safety had a form. "We’ll find the answers."

As we sat together by that fire, I again started to sense a new strength inside of me. With James, I felt good. But for now, he was my resting place.

James leaned back a bit, eyes still on mine and still soft with worry. "Clarice, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about," he said finally.

I turned my attention to him once more, beginning to realize that he was still holding my hand. "What is it?"

He shifted a little, his expression turning thoughtful. "I was thinking it might be a good idea to go into town today. There's a few things we could get for you, like a proper jacket and some other things."

James must have felt my unease, for he squeezed my hand tighter. I couldn’t get my mind off of the fact he was really clutching onto me like that.

"I know it's a lot to take in," he said, carefully. "And I don't want to push you if you're not ready. But I really do think it could be helpful, because I’m not leaving you here at the camp all alone."

I took a deep, heavy breath, trying to steady my already rising nerves. "I'm just... scared," I admitted, my voice barely heard, even by my own ears. "What if I panic again?"

James squeezed my hand reassuringly. "If you start getting too overwhelmed, we can leave right away. How’s that sound?"

His words were soothing, but I was still on edge. "What if they think I'm. strange? What if I did something wrong, James? And I just can’t remember it?"

James shook his head, his face firm. "You have every right to be there as much as anybody. And if any of them give you trouble, they'll have to deal with me, You hear me?"

The determination in his voice lent me a small boost of confidence for now. "Alright," I finally managed to spit out. "I'll go with you. But. can you stay with me? I don't want to be alone."

"Of course," James replied without a single hesitation. "I’ll be there the whole time."

His promise made me feel a little more at ease. "Okay," I said, nodding. "I’ll go."

James smiled, and it was a warm, encouraging expression that made me feel a little safer. "Good. We'll finish up here and then head into town." He slipped his hand away from mine to smack down on his knees, sitting up. I missed his hand in mine.

"Thank you, James," I said, feeling a mix of gratitude and nervousness.

He nodded and stood up, giving the fire one final stroke before turning towards me.

I found myself standing beside Maverick, gently running my fingers through his mane. He nickered softly, seeming to enjoy the attention. His coat was smooth and warm under my motions, the slight feel of dust left on my hand..

James came up finally. "Ready to go?" He nodded encouragingly as the skin around his eyes crinkled with a smile.

I nodded but was unsure of my emotional state, but I decided this was for the best. "Yeah, I think so."

He smiled and motioned to help me mount Maverick. His big hands came around my waist, and I felt my heart shiver just a little from his strength. I was always really surprised by how easily he hoisted me onto Maverick's back, but obvious that he was very strong.

"Comfortable?" he asked, hooking his foot in the stirrup.

I nodded again. James swung up behind me on the horse, clutching me tight as he took the reins. His proximity was so soothing, I edged fractionally into him for his security.

"Hold tight," he said softly, his breath warm at my ear, which only made the confusing feeling in my belly pool deeper.

A gentle nudge and Maverick was under. For some time, we rode in silence as the landscape blurred past us in colors and shapes. I smiled, cantering through the open countryside.

Before I knew it a very detailed image shot into mine. I could clearly picture myself in the tent back at the camp. James’ arms held me right to his large body, lips meeting my temple in soft kisses.

I tried to shake the thought, chalking it up to my confusing amnesia.

An hour or so later, we rode into a different town from the one we'd visited the previous day. This was a smaller, more secluded one, and an air of hospitality oozed from its every pore. James reined Maverick in about the middle of town, and we slipped off together.

"Let's get you some things," James said, his hand resting protectively on my shoulder as we walked.

We left the bright morning sun behind us as we pushed open the door to a small general store, its entrance clanged by a bell jangling above it.

The store was nice and full of goods and supplies crowding onto shelves. Behind the counter, a quirky, gray-haired man greeted us with a cheery smile.

"Morning, Sheriff," he nodded to James. "What am I to help you with today?"

"Morning, Ed," James replied with a returning smile. "We need to get some things for my friend here."

Ed's eyes shifted to me, and I immediately crawled into my shell. But his gaze was kind, and he nodded again. "Of course. What do you need, miss?"

James gently walked me through the store, guiding me on picking out a warm jacket, gloves, and other essentials. He did most of the picking and choosing, I just nodded along.

He insisted that I needed a new pair of boots because the soles of mine were worn through and barely held together.

The farther we worked into the shop, the more townsfolk turned to gaze at us, their eyes were curious but not hostile, probably wondering what a disturbed young woman was doing hobbling along with the sheriff.

I did my best to focus on James and what I was supposed to be doing, trying to push back against my sudden feel of being watched. He seemed to feel my unease and kept a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

He paid for what we'd gotten, and then we headed back out into the clean air. He helped me into my new jacket. The thick material felt warm against the cool breeze, but it was nothing like his. I smiled up a little more confidently now in my new items.

"Thanks, James," I whispered sincerely.

His smile was back, the outer corners of his eyes crinkling. "You're welcome, hun. I'm just pleased we could get you what you needed."

We returned to Maverick, and James boosted me up once more. He mounted behind me, his arms around me again as he took up the reins once more.

"Let's head on back," his voice was nice and warm, just like his jacket had been the day earlier..

I nodded against him, easing into his arms just a bit. Just as we were turning to leave the town, a woman's voice shouted out from behind us.

"Wait a minute! I know you? Sheriff, I know her!"

James reined Maverick to a stop, and we both turned to see a middle aged woman scampering towards us.

She approached us, a little winded. "You're that girl," she insisted, nodding her finger at me. "I saw you a few days ago with a group of men. Dragging you around like you were their prisoner, I’m so glad you’re alright my dear."

James's attitude snapped in an instant. He drew to protect me, standing slightly in front of me, his hand resting on the hilt of his revolver. "What do you mean?" he asked, commanding for more information. "Who were these men?"

She shook her head, her face troubled. "I don't know who they were, Sheriff, but they didn't look like they were up to any good. They were rough lookin’. I remember thinking that girl don’t belong with them."

It was such a far cry from my memory that everything was fuzzy, but this tale from the woman somehow stirred my thoughts up.

James turned toward me, clearly determined. "Do you remember anything about these men? What they looked like?" he asked in his soft, gravelly voice.

I shook my head. My mind was a swirling fog of uncertainty. "No, I- I don't... I can't remember.. much of anything."

This woman pouted at me with sympathy. "Poor thing," she frowned. "You looked so scared, my girl. I wish I could tell you more."

James nodded, his face grim as he tipped his black hat to her. "Appreciate you tellin' us," he said to her. "You remember anything else, anything at all, you let me know, okay?"

She nodded. "I will, Sheriff. You take good care of her now."

James reassured her that he would, and we turned our focus back on Maverick. As we again mounted Maverick, James's protective aura was stronger than ever.

As we rode away from the town, I could practically hear how deep James’ thoughts were. His body felt tense behind me, and I could hear his breathing, heavier than before. The realization that he was angry made my heart sink, realizing it was my fault.

"James," I peeped softly, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'm sorry if I've made you angry."

He shook his head, his grip on the reins tightening slightly, evident by the squeal of his leather gloves. "You didn't do anything wrong," he said firmly, his voice filled with something different, something dominating. "I'm not angry at you."

"Then why...?" I whispered, not exactly sure of how to phrase my question.

"I'm upset at those bastards," he admitted, something in his voice that almost represented fury. "For doing whatever they did to you. For hurting you. I swear, I'm gonna kill ‘em."

I felt a mixture of relief and gratitude wash over me. His anger wasn't directed at me, but at the people who had hurt me. And his determination to protect me, to find out what had happened, made me feel safer than I had in a long time.

"Thank you…" I whispered, my voice trembling just slightly as I hesitantly leaned my back against him. "For caring so much."

He sighed, the sound almost emotional. "I care about you," he stated softly. "More than you might realize. And I won't rest until I put a bullet through the heads of whoever hurt you."

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @roseydoesypoesy @metallicaloverrr @behindanotherdoor @ilovepapahet @delightfulcollectivetyphoon — comment or dm to join the taglist!

[thebelovedmuse]

I kinda want some puppet gore in these x reader things, like torn felt with stuffing poking out or missing limbs. So~

Wally Darling finding an injured puppet (Reader)

(darker reasons can be implied for the injuries, but having Wally try to put someone back together to save them and nurse them back to good health feels more on brand for him.)

Your eyes open to see the light streaming through the treetops and confusion sets in. And then the pain. You try to sit up to look around and are horrified by the scene, you find yourself in the woods. Not only that but you realize the pain is coming from a giant gash in your abdomen, stuffing poking out. You slowly roll yourself over, hoping to get yourself on your knees when you now see that one of your hands is almost fully detached, hanging on by bits of felt and thread. You sense that your threading is loose in other places as well. You finally get where you can stand and slowly start limping your way through the forest, holding in bits of stuffing as small pieces start to fall out of you.

As you walk you think over how you came to be like this. The last memory you have is standing in your yard, taking photos of the sunset. Then nothing. You must have been in the woods all night, the thought makes you shiver. You finally see the neighborhood through the trees and with the last bit of energy you have you clear the trees, making your way to the street where you notice a few of your neighbors having a chat. Your vision goes dark as you once again pass out.

You open your blurry eyes and sense that some amount of time had passed. At least you were inside somewhere now...your eyes start to adjust and you realize now that you are at Home. Laying in a bed with Wally sitting in a chair nearby keeping watch over you. Wally jumps up and moves to your side seeing that you have regained consciousness. "Oh Neighbor, I'm so glad your ok!" Wally exclaimed, running a hand down your arm. You look down and see that you have been lovingly stitched back together. You try to sit up, "No, please rest Neighbor. We were all so frightened for you, we weren't sure if you were going to make it. I offered to have you stay here until you're fully healed."

A week or so passes at Home, Wally has been amazing in his work of taking care of you. Getting you whatever you need, he was almost glued to your side and you couldn't help but feel your affection for him grow. He had been so sweet, reading to you in the afternoons and exchanging stories with you while sitting next to you in bed. You begin to notice signs that these growing affections were not one-sided. Prolonged glances from Wally, light brushes of hands when sitting together. You felt like a new bond had formed during your stay here with him.

While in a conversation one evening, Wally's eyes light up, "You know Neighbor, I should go check your yard for your camera. Its probably still there. Maybe you can practice your photography skills here at Home." You smile, that would be a wonderful idea and missed taking photos you think to yourself. This joy is short lived when you have a sudden realization, you feel yourself freeze and your body grow cold. "W-Wally..." you stutter out, "How did you know about the camera? I didn't mention that...." Wally tilts his head, "Of course you did, silly. Don't you remember?" You start questioning yourself but you can't escape the nagging feeling that something is wrong. You glance up to see Wally now hovering over you, his dark eyes seem to grow unnaturally large.

"You know Neighbor, if you're having problems remembering things maybe you aren't fully healed yet, you should stay longer. Stay here with me."

[the-phantom-author]

Harry Lewis | General Dating Headcanons

Some W2S stuff. Will I do more for him, maybe. Request are open!

Probability meet through some interest or activity. As Simon said, Harry is one of the only Sidemen who actually has hobbies. So I can definitely see you meeting him through that and being in the weird “what are we” stage where you two are seeing each other while doing without doing the activity that you meet through.

It’s to the point that yeah, you know all his friends, and he knows yours, and you do plan things together so you can have time to spend where it’s just you two, but you’re totally not dating. Heaven forgive anyone who implies that you are, because no, that would be odd, that’s not what you two are. Nope.

Harry’s an awkward guy, we know that. It does not matter that you are seeing each other, he is still going to be awkward. It’s going to last for a while as well. He needs to know that you are comfortable; with both him and affection in general. You’ll probably need to actually tell him.

WIth that said, once he knows that you're comfortable with affection, he becomes that most attached person, behind doors. Man is weird about public affection, you won’t be able to convince him to do more than hold your unless he’s drunk. But in private, the biggest fan of cuddling and napping together.

Cooking together. Do we remember his cooking streams? W2S Cooking Show, I miss it. But helping him cook and whatnot. Closing the cabinets when he leaves them opens, please organize his kitchen. I can’t stop thinking about what the kitchen set up was like when he lived with the Cals, with things just everywhere, the silverware in the cabinet.

A lot of inside dates. Cooking together, convincing him to watch movies with you (even if he doesn’t actually watches them and just picks and pokes at you), doing arts and crafts together,Just doing simple things kept between the two of you.

I can also bathing together becoming a common thing, as we know this man likes his showers, he take one every time he poops. So I can see him joining you every so often, washing your hair and whatnot.

Harry’s not the best when it comes to wording things. Istead he shows his appreciation and love though doing things with and for you. Like he’d be your biggest supporter, if you want to learn a new skill or hobby, he bo so willing to learn it with you. Like if you take an art class or something, the next time you see him he’ll be wanting to know everything, or if you get into yoga or something he’ll want you to teach him. He treats your interest with the same amount of respect that he would want you to treat him.

Stare at him. Do it, he’ll get flustered. He’ll stutter out a little “What are doing” tell him he pretty, or just compliment him in general, he’ll go red and “Oh, o-okay” in a really small voice and try to hide his face in his shirt or mug or something.

Also vacationing and taking trips and whatnots. He’d take you with him whenever he can on non-work related trips. Having set things that the two of you want to do, but ended up getting side tracked and just exploring. Or going on a holiday while the guys and ending up getting a tour of a prison or abandoned factory some other random thing.

You do have to act as a live action censor. Harry likes to say polarizing things in his attempt to be funny, and while it usually is funny in context, sometimes it doesn’t come off best to strangers. So you do tend to take notice of when he goes quiet for a bit too long and see that he has his thinking face on, you do take it upon yourself to just listen to the first part of his joke to just be ready to stop him if it might go a bit far.

Ultimately he’s a very soft guy, and it’d be a very soft relationship.

[changingplumbob]

New Goth: Chapter 4, Part 4

Harvestfest wraps up

CW: Mentions of death Content Warning Guide

Savannah is the twin in pink with hair clips Mercedes is the twin in blue without hair clips

Full family photo! Then Milton decides that while everyone is here he may as well show them the puppet show he’s been working on.

Rahul: What is it called

Milton: School

Cassandra: I think I’ll have to watch from a seat if that’s okay

Savannah: Mama has a baby inside so she needs to be careful

Mercedes nods halfheartedly while Milton slips on the puppets and begins his tale.

The show isn’t all that bad. Of course at creativity level 3 it isn’t all that good either… There are a few funny jokes in it that make the Chopra’s laugh though, Rahul is the best audience a kid could want. Alexander and James are using the time that Milton is being watched to work out in the home gym. They’ve already seen many versions of this puppet play from Milton. Hamlet hangs around for a while hoping for a pat but the viewers seem engrossed.

In the end Milton receives a round of applause from the family.

Savannah: We should have a puppet theatre

Mercedes: Why

Savannah: We could do stories together

Mercedes: But we can do that with dolls. Why change

Rahul: You’re not a big fan of change are you Mercedes

Mercedes: No papa. But I would like a treehouse

Rahul: *laughs* Come on you two, we should find Uncle Alexander and Uncle James and thank them before we leave

Savannah: Why

Rahul: Good manners that’s why. Now come along

Savannah: I’d like an older cousin

Mercedes: I don’t want one to boss us around like Milton does

Milton: I heard that

Rahul: Girls, I said now!

Twins: *quickly standing* Yes papa

As they leave the library Milton sighs and turns to Viola.

Milton: Did you have a good time Viola

Viola: Ye ye, gooey. Ug?

Milton hugs the toddler who is happy with the attention. Alexander and Cassandra walk in talking and the youngest Chopra is scooped up.

Cassandra: We better be getting back to Henford

Alexander: Before storytime? I need practice

Cassandra: I doubt a teen would like you reading to them but what do I know. I think my ones are getting tired, and I may need a nap myself

Alexander: Take care of yourself sis

Cassandra: I will, and if I don’t Rahul does

The rest of the day passes quickly. Alexander has joined the critic career with his eye on being a food critic, finding it a great way to combine his literature degree with his cuisine hobby. James takes care of chores around the house since he is a neat sim after all. Alexander practices his research and debate until he hits level 4, coincidentally enough the level he needs for promotion. James meanwhile spends some time playing games online with Joey, Keira and Marta.

Milton looks at this toys again before bed. He’s glad Alexander got them for him, he’d missed them. Who knows if Bella’s journals would provide any answers as to where she was, but he wanted to keep trying. He only had one mummy, and he missed her every day. Of course in the middle of the night he woke up from a bad dream and realised the way to protect himself was clear, bear suit! Before we knew it Monday was here and Hamlet was waking everyone up accordingly.

James decided to spend the day doing something he loved, fishing! He invited the club around to check out the stream that ran along the edge of the property. It had begun to snow but with no ice the fish should be biting. I had hoped they would all deposit themselves along the stream but nope. Bob decided his time was better spent upstairs watching the culinary channel. Reece caught something! It wasn’t a fish but hopefully his skill has gone up a little.

After school...

James: How was school today

Milton: Good and bad. Can you help me with my project please Uncle James? It's meant to be a volcano

James: Sure, as an ex-teacher I know my way around a fake volcano. Now tell me about school. Why was it good and bad?

Milton: I gave the note from Alexander to my teacher about my costume and she was fine with it

James: But?

Milton: *sighs* Reynaldo and Maria hung out with me but everyone else avoided me

Friendly reminder that the twins go to a different school, I promise they were not avoiding him.

James: Don’t worry about "everyone else", focus on your friends. If they still think you’re awesome enough to hang around with no matter what you want to wear, they’re good ones

Milton: I guess. It’s just hard. People treat me different even before I was in this

James: Milton... your father died and we don't know what happened to Bella. Many of the kids in your class won’t be able to think about what that means, and won’t know what to say about it. Sometimes if people don’t know what to say they’ll say nothing

Milton: I don’t miss father so much now. But I need to know what happened to mummy

James: If you need any help going through those journals I’d be happy to help

Milton: I know but… I want to do it by myself. It helps me feel close to mummy. There, is the volcano done?

James: Almost. Now you have to present it

Milton: Present it?

James: Practice for class. I’ll be a good audience and you'll be prepared for your classmates

Joey decided to swing around for dinner to catch up with everyone. It’s leftover ham from the holiday so everyone ends up feeling a bit dazed. Alexander has to go write another column for work afterwards so James, Milton and Joey put in some gaming time. I’m not sure how Milton does in the bear suit but he’s not sad so we’ll stick with it.

Previous ... Next

[iwanttobeliv]

Betty, la fea: la historia continúa

Episode 1 – Reunited (but it doesn’t feel so good)

I can’t begin to explain how excited I was for this. That we would be able not only to see our beloved characters again after so very long, and most of all, that we would be able to see Betty and Armando together again.

At first, there was a lot of speculation about the series' plot – and not much information to go on.

And the problem with that is that the longer the wait, the bigger the expectations. And boy, were they big!

Ever since the wave of revivals became a thing, I’ve seen my fair share of them, and I knew that lowering my expectations would probably be for the best. I mean, adjusting it to something better than ‘Ecomoda”, but likely not as great as YSBLF.

Even though there were some very positive aspects such as how much the cast and production team seemed to love this project, or how happy they looked to get back to it, and also how much better JEA looks these days, there were other factors that I couldn’t help but think would likely be an issue.

First of all, the length of it. We all knew we wouldn’t get 335 episodes. That’s not how TV works nowadays, especially streaming services. And then, when I found out there would be only 10, I thought, oh well. At least we get to see them for 10 episodes, that’s something… Better than not all, I guess. 

But then, I didn’t realize just how much this format would affect the story. Which is a lot, something we can feel right out of the gate.

YSBLF was fundamentally what fic readers describe as slow-burn. Which can be great for character development. But that also requires a lot of fillers, subplots, and sharp writing skills so that the audience won’t just get fed up and quit the show before it’s over.

Given how the target audience of the new show was mainly fans from YSBLF, I guess they didn’t have to worry much about that. We already know and love the characters – most of all the protagonists.

But, then again, it has been over 20 years.

So, back to episode 1.

The previously on? Loved it! They did a fairly good job summarizing the main bits, though I’m not sure it would have worked alone hadn’t I watched YSBLF time and time again.

I love that they start with Betty’s voiceover. Having a special insight into what was going through her mind was such a fundamental part of the story in the first place. Through Betty’s diary, we got to know all the vulnerabilities that Betty had learned to keep inside, protected from a world that had been far too cruel to her. While with Nicolas we got to see her using humor to fend for herself, at night, in her strangely decorated room – I think all those dolls were meant to symbolize Betty’s innocence and youth and remind us that she was a young girl, and therefore lacked the experience and malice to understand where she was headed to until it was too late. But it also looked like a grandma’s room, and a very dark one, so, yeah, not great. I get it, it was a low-budget production, but did her room have to look like a place where one would find a captive? My guess is no. – Anyway it was through her precious diary that we got to hear Betty sharing her thoughts and dreams, memories and fears. So, when I heard Betty speaking, it just felt familiar and wistful. And I guess I was too distracted by that to be bothered by the wordplay they did there, trying to create a suspense that would only have worked if we hadn’t watched the promo 150 times, give or take. I never thought I would say I missed Hugo, even in YSBLF I didn’t care much for his character but he had me at the ‘Dead Poet Society’ reference.

I’m still trying to understand Betty’s wardrobe choices there, I mean, even though her ‘current’ style seems like a far cry from wearing Don Hermes’s old sweaters, this one feels like it's too much and nothing like the woman we supposedly knew.

But I digress. 

Betty shows up and we get Armando looking at her with puppy eyes and standing up for ‘su Betty’ right away, and well, I am only human and completely understand why Betty’s knees would go weak and nearly throw her into Roberto’s grave.

So yeah, Roberto is dead, something we were aware of from the promo, but what does it mean to Ecomoda? And why was Betty gone until this moment?

That’s where things start to get messy.

I can’t say I was surprised that Armando and Betty aren’t together. While I hoped they still loved each other after all this time (and I still do), a relationship lasting this long must have a solid foundation. Which they didn’t really have and we never got to see... I think they truly loved (and love) each other, but trust isn’t something easy to gain and it’s even harder to regain after it's lost. The lies, the miscommunication, the tempers, all of it would inevitably create conflict. And there’s no good story without that.

(This reminds me I really want to take a closer look at Armando and Betty as individuals, but I think I might save this for another time)

That being said, we get a bunch of info dumped on us in a very short time, and I had to watch it more than once to make sense of the whole thing. Let’s make a list:

Roberto is dead. (And so is Margarita)

Betty was gone and not by her choice, according to her. But then Armando says they are not together and that *is* her choice, so what then?

I really really like the way Armando looks at Betty when she asks him how he is. It screams familiarity with a hint of fondness (?) Oh these two…

Don Hermes shows up and I’m intrigued. He uses his famous catchphrase while dragging Betty away from Armando and when he stands next to his daughter, it makes me think he too is aware of Betty’s situation with her 'ex', and I don’t know, but whatever happened, it made him forego the sanctity of matrimony, which seems like a big thing to such a traditional man like him.

Hugo hasn’t changed a bit.

And Betty is still the clumsy, self-conscious Betty under all that fur.

There is a camera and suspense. Not my cup of tea, but ok.

Marcela seems a bit more civil around Betty, which is to be expected after so long, but still her (by now more than comprehensible) resentment seems to be alive and well.

Don Hermes mentions leaving fresh flowers to Dona Julia, but it’s such a short comment that it barely registers.

Patricia is apparently married to a mummy called Francisco Santamaria (Wasn’t there a lawyer with that name in YSBLF?) which is not particularly surprising given her life aspirations.

I guess when we have only ten episodes there’s no escape but to break the rules of “show and not tell”.

Next: A controversial topic, Mila Mendoza.

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ therapy goals, shame

Someone in the elevator told us they were our neighbor (in the dorms) and asked if we recognized them. I don’t remember what the person out said, but when I switched in, the outsider’s friend went “he said he don’t know you, not that he don’t see you”.

I’m fronting again today, and I’m so embarrassed that happened. I do see this person pretty often, they’re the one who plays music at all hours of the night.

I don’t like that embarrassment. It’s not the guilty kind of embarrassing, where I made a mistake and I feel bad for doing it; it’s the shameful kind, where I am the mistake and feel bad for being it. This is exactly the kind of shame that outsiders put on us for being a system.

Nobody assumes we’re plural, certainly nobody assumes we’re multiple, and outsiders expect us to behave like a singlet. We aren’t a singlet, we are multiple, and I will not accept this shame that isn’t ours. They can find us weird or crazy, but they will not make us ashamed of a perfectly valid existence.

I recognized that person, but whoever was out before me didn’t, and that’s okay. We’re not one person, and the more we fawn into behaving as one, the worse our disordered dissociation gets. We are healthiest right now as a multiple system, and we don’t need to have constant integration and grounding to be good. I am my own person, the one who was out before me is their own person, and we don’t have to pretend to be the same person to deserve safety and comfort.

This shame comes from the group, especially with the reinforcement of our caregivers; they wanted us dependent on them, so we weren’t allowed to be people (or even one person together). It comes from medicine; they can’t find emotional empathy for plurals, so they tell us we are only good if we can be like them. Those are not ours to carry.

I can deal with us being labeled DID for as long as we live, because our Complex Dissociative Structure is far from healthy. Time and healing might change that, but we will never be functional like a singlet, and outsiders will always call us disordered for it. Healthy is a goal, but authentic is the goal.

Nobody has to come with us. You& should all be making choices for you&, and wanting another option is very cool and valid. You& can find those options without trying to be functional like a singlet, and it’s still good and right if you& are following a path for that functionality.

Fusion doesn’t make the others go away, as in dormancy, and you& can structure your& new self to make sure everyone is represented. Making progress in trauma work can lead to some fusion naturally, once people feel they are at peace or the brain decides they aren’t needed. You& don’t have to be broken to fuse, but some would struggle more with elaborating than fusing.

Final fusion is the perpetual blending of all insiders, and that can feel really good. Outside people have spirituality built around that concept, and you& can do it as often as you& like. Fusing after making some progress can be compared to water, like two streams flowing together, or one of the places where salt and freshwater mix. That’s a really cool skill, and any use of it might be why it’s best for you&.

Functional multiplicity used to be anything except fusion, but not so much anymore. We say ‘functional’ instead of ‘healthy’ because neither imply the other. Reordering your& insiders to thrive in daily life can be both, and some systems get here naturally after processing their trauma. If you& value everyone’s perspectives and abilities, fusion can overwrite some of those discrepancies.

Functional multiplicity can look a lot like fusion, kind of like several instruments in one song instead of everyone playing their own, or even learning to sync the beats to play well together. Sometimes you& might lower barriers altogether, and then you& get some blending and fusion. Functional multiplicity is cooperative and integrated, and the teamwork involved is also something outsiders strive for.

The primary difference between final fusion and functional multiplicity is how many selves are in the mix. With low barriers, it can change, or you& can learn to keep it one way or the other. Systems can often still make out all of their members in a fusion, especially when it’s new. There are in-betweens there that lean median, and sometimes that’s also the goal.

Not all healing follows the same path as the functional multiplicity/functional midcontinuum/final fusion. Some systems do heal by full dormancy, which might look anyplace on the singlet-multiple gradient, and only leaving one person to front. Some systems find themselves healthy, becoming functional by accommodating over integrating. All systems can still identify as having a Complex Dissociative Structure, however they’re healing or how far along they are.

We are still healing. We like our amnesia in that most of us don’t care to know what happens without us there. We don’t always want to be there. We are learning to be co-conscious at will, and to copy and share memories. We like our otherworld, we like our individuality, we like switching.

Traumatized people are prone to shame, which is never beneficial; you& can’t solve the problem if you& believe you& are the problem. You& are allowed to be dissociative, and that includes every kind and stage of healing.

[huebris808]

trying to break out of my shell and post madcom hc shit aka Look At My One Of Many Weirdass Hank Ramblings, Boy

hank you know them. they're six-foot-something and wanted to try volleyball. they dont get sarcasm and refer to stuff as "thingys". they're the autistic power fantasy of throwing bricks at those who view you as subhuman. their bedroom's apparently just a mirror to practice cool poses with and a blanket and their favorite drink is eggs now according to the streams. and they are your new nonbinary president

im constantly fluctuating between Animation & MPN Are Two Different Timelines/Universes or They're The Same, But He’s Testing Which "Hank" Is More Favorable/Useful To Others

wasian hank truther baby. (jp+filipino-american)

this guy would probably use わたし/私 (ive seen a lot of artists use オレ/俺 for him though but i feel like its a bit?? much)

definitely had to pick up sign-language after [Vague Gesturing] All That

has autism in the way that they have No Clue they got it. like "damn i got [Specific Autistic Issues]. sucks that im so so normal and yet i must endure The Problems everyday"

speaking of autism, enjoys confined spaces sensory-wise. vents and boxes and shit like Come On Man. Do You See The Vision.

gonna be honest like half of the shit (Understatement) i got for hank is projection but what's madcom without that in some aspect!! that's the POINT man!!! [ON KNEES WAILING] that's the POINT

working in real estate and as a mercenary since The Incident made their self-worth go to SHIT; in a world that dehumanizes you, you are quick to dehumanize yourself. this is where the power of lesbian friendship comes in

subconsciously puts doc on a pedestal over time, leading to (See Bullet 1); this dissipates after they somehow reach a conversation of Bitch We Are Both Equals And Fighting For Our Fucking Lives Out Here THEY SOLVE SHIT TOGETHER MAN!!! THEY SOLVE IT

sorry. sorry. im trying to delete it

out of nowhere maybe its the Autistic Projection maybe its cause im allergic to Sadstuck Shit i dont dig negative stuff with 2bhank it just feels Wrong :-( i wish i could word this better but like. i need these little chesspiece fucks to learn to communicate

what i will refer to as the Newspaper Era (aka the time before we got doc characterization from arena mode) caused people to make some weirdass depictions of their relationship and im glad its phasing out. The Horrors

main 4 are all butch lesbians btw. not sorry about that one

also POLYCOMBAT TRUTHER this dude would HATE how vulnerable these three would make them feel at first. they're the first to actually treat him like A Guy and that fuck him up a bit initially

i think eventually they all reach a point where they're able to do stupid shit together like fireworks or breaking chairs over each other heads. you've seen how doc is don't exclude him from doing dumbass shit

"erm… actually they wouldnt be friends or have fun or date theyre ruthless criminals and madcom is cruel :/" L + ratio + the rule of The Funniest Thing Is The Answer in madcom prevails + That's The Devil Talking, Boy

shit at technology. if they had a blog their lack of skills would loop back around to make them the most powerful shitposter on earth

there's definitely more that im missing here and takes that Don't Suck (for example people need to put out more hankford content. Cmon Man) but my brain has this shit Queued Up in a way so. Yeah

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

—1D Monthly Fic Roundup—

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for February 2023! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ Promise That You Won't Forget We Had It All by @crochetsunsets [E, 33k+, wip, Harry/Louis]

"Louis understood one thing to be true above all else. The summer brought with it a stream of possibilities. New faces meant new friends, even if just for a few months at a time. New friends meant new experiences. New experiences, for Louis, indicated that life was, undeniably, worth living–not everything always had to be the same. And, as May would soon fade into June, Louis promised himself that if life came calling, he would follow the path offered by its song."

or Louis lives and works in a small, ocean side town. Left desolate for the majority of the year, warmth breathes life into Kingston each summer as tourists and part-time residents alike fill the town limits. Harry hasn't been back for the summer since he was a teen, and where Kingston appears to have remained the same, he has a lot to learn about the residents who have changed.

A series of long summers.

＊ Melting into You by cherrylarry / @beelou [T, 1k, Zayn/Liam]

The front door to their house closes and Liam sighs with a smile, He turns to Zayn standing next to him and kisses him on the lips. “A whole weekend to ourselves. Can you believe it?”

“It doesn’t quite seem real, but it is.” Zayn says, going in for another kiss.

“It’s still early. Our reservation isn’t for another four hours,” Liam gets in between kisses. Zayn pushes him against the door. “What are we gonna do?”

“Oh, I have some ideas,” Zayn says, moving down to kiss Liam’s neck.

＊ A Deal by @allwaswell16 [T, 898 words, Harry/Louis]

Slytherin Harry Styles spends his free time drawing down by the lake. Unfortunately, he can't show anyone what he's drawing because they're all of Gryffindor Louis Tomlinson.

＊ Backstage at the Grammy’s by @neondiamond [M, 882 words, Louis/Harry]

There’s someone waiting in Harry’s dressing room after his performance at the Grammy’s.

＊ Literally Falling For You by @neondiamond [E, 5k, Harry/Louis]

After five years of being together, Louis decides to propose to Harry on his birthday, and he needs everything to be perfect and sentimental down to every last detail. When his plans get derailed at the last minute, he decides to postpone the proposal on Valentine’s day instead. It’s just as amazing as he’d imagined.

＊ You Can Hear It In The Silence by Imogenlee / @imogenleefic [E, 234k, Louis/Harry]

When Harry Styles received acceptance into a post-grad degree, he knew he could no longer afford his flat leaving him with three options:

1) Moving back into student halls. 2) Becoming homeless. 3) Moving in with his best (and only) friend, Niall, and three of Niall's other friends. He ended up choosing the third option. But it was a close race. Shame one of his new housemates reminded him why he only has one friend. If Louis Tomlinson had to choose one thing couldn't stand, it would be pretentious tossers, having grown up around enough of them. If he had to choose something he couldn't live without, it would be his friends. So he was proper thrilled to move in with his best mates and a couple of other lads. That was until he discovered one of them was the archetype for a pretentious tosser.

In the interest of seeing out the twelve-month lease without killing each other, they both try (debatable) to get along despite believing they were opposite in almost every conceivable way, each having the communication skills of a cucumber, and secrets that had no business be kept secret.

＊ I Choose You by @disgruntledkittenface [NR, 3k, Harry/Louis]

Louis is exhausted during a busy time at work. After a long commute home, the last thing he expects is for Harry to have a surprise for him.

＊ Wed’n Walk (Or, We Went to Amsterdam Together) by @hellolovers13 [E, 11k, Louis/Harry]

When Harry had first started planning his honeymoon to Amsterdam, he had not envisioned ending up there with his best friend.

Or getting fake-married to him for 24 hours.

＊ Unplant by @hellolovers13 [M, 4k, Harry/Louis]

Please do not disturb my plant She needs 2 hours of sunlight a day and I live in a sunless flat I’ll be back to collect her soon Thank you and stay well.

or Louis should've looked where he was going, then he wouldn't have to desperately try to save a little flower now.

＊ Brit's AU (The Kissing Game) by @hellolovers13 [E, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Lewis' quest to reunite One Direction via kiss

＊ Punxsutawdry Filled by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 2k, Louis/Harry, Louis/everyone]

Louis’ Groundhog Day special is more a nod to the movie than the holiday itself, and it’s got almost everyone on edge.

＊ just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 4k, Zayn/Harry]

Zayn worries she isn't enough of a giver in bed. Harry is determined to make her understand that all she wants Zayn to do is enjoy receiving.

＊ out of control by me_her_themoon / @dreamersdivin-headfirst [E, 2k, Harry/Louis]

They’ve always been into kinkier stuff than most, whether it’s bondage or piss (they dabble occasionally), they try not to shy away from things other people may deem weird. They just don’t care.

So, after Louis texted their friends and family that they would be unavailable for the entire day, Harry’s been in this position ever since.

＊ Invisible String by BoosBabycakes / @boosbabycakes28 [E, 84k, Louis/Harry]

Louis swears on his life that that man came out of literal nowhere and he thanks each lucky star for having good breaks in his car. This strange alpha also happens to be the most beautiful being Louis has laid his eyes on.

For some unknown reason, the omega feels safe around the alpha. It might seem strange, but you can't always explain why or how things are the way they are. All you can really be sure of is that they happen for a reason. There's a higher power (call it what you want) that knows better and definitely knows more than you do.

＊ Two Hearts In One Home by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 5k+, wip, Harry/Louis]

Best friends Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles have been living together for almost 3 years. With Louis' YouTube videos mainly featuring challenges, vlogs, and tutorials, his best friend is unknowingly a common topic on his channel (with his identity hidden) leading his viewers to believe that they are dating. What happens when Harry's childhood friend, Niall Horan, returns from Ireland and turns out to be one of his biggest fans and sends a tweet that turns his life upside down?

＊ There's no one I love more in this world than Stanley Tucci. by @enchantedlandcoffee [G, 425 words, Harry/Louis]

Both Louis and Harry have a 'freebie list' of celebrities they could sleep with if they wanted to without repercussions. What happens when Harry meets one of his celebrities, Stanley Tucci, at the Brit Awards and comes home late at night.

OR The one where Harry Styles loves Louis Tomlinson a bit more than he does Stanley Tucci.

＊ hello, lovers by eynap / @panye [E, 2k, Niall/Shawn]

Name: Shawn Age: 24 Pronouns: He/him Desires: light praise kink, light daddy kink

Oh. He could do that. Probably pretty well, too. Niall sits up on his bed a little taller and adjusts his headphones, pressing the green accept button.

Or, Niall is a phone sex operator at Hello Lovers hotline, and Shawn is his last caller on Valentine’s Day.

＊ feel my body come alive by eynap / @panye [E, 10k, Niall/Shawn Mendes]

Shawn feels his breath pick up and his heart rate skips a beat. His throat starts tightening up and he thinks he’s probably going to have another panic attack.

“How could I forget them?” Shawn says, defeated.

“It’ll be okay,” he hears Niall say distantly in the background. He can’t focus too much on anything other than the fact that he’s going to have to experience the one, awful thing he’s been running from for the first time in years.

Or, Niall and Shawn are meant to be on a long weekend trip to celebrate their six-month anniversary, until they realize Shawn forgot his suppressants at home.

＊ Teach me how to love by @perfectdagger [E, 70k, Louis/Harry]

Louis can’t believe he’s third wheeling, again, so he scans the bar trying to find something better to do.

And as he does, he recognizes a face.

That face looks angry, almost fuming and Louis takes a gulp from his beer and looks to the other side, pretending he didn’t even see the bloke, pretending he has no clue who that person coming over his way is.

“You’ve told everyone and their mother that I’m a bad fucker?!”

That’s how Harry greets him.

Smooth.

Not really.

The one in which Harry is bad at sex and Louis spreads it all over town and to make up for it, decides to help him with no agenda of getting anything from it, but in the end, he ends up getting more than he bargained for.

＊ (your smile is) on every face by @justanothershadeofblue [T, 5k, Harry/Louis]

Harry streams the whole thing, too overwhelmed to sing along, clutching his phone above his head as Louis whips the fans into a frenzy, playing both sides of the stage before staking a claim to the middle. Niall is shouting along beside him, lost in the madness and dancing something formless and frantic and free. Harry doesn’t even notice the pins and needles in his arm until the encore break, tears springing to his eyes as he switches hands and lowers his arm slowly, letting the blood rush back into it. He bites back a sob and glances at the screen. Maybe he could stop streaming, use his phone hand to massage some life back into his poor arm.

Harry blinks. There are fifteen thousand people watching his stream.

＊ Awaken As Mine by thinlines / @thinlinez [E, 9k, Louis/Harry]

Cypress and roasted almonds. The scent Harry breathed in was comforting and alluring. It made him want to get closer, to roll his neck against the wolf’s, to mingle their scents. This wolf was an alpha, his omega whispered to him. Without a doubt.

OR Omega Harry was sure he had found his alpha, but how to get reading crazed, bookworm Louis to look twice at him was a mystery for the ages.

＊ Leather Over Lace by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 4k, Harry/Louis]

Harry wasn’t planning for his trousers to rip on stage. He also wasn’t planning for everyone to see his lace knickers when it happened. But what he really wasn’t planning on was his boyfriend punishing him for it.

＊ Fringe & Flogging by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Harry was good this time. He didn’t wear his lace knickers; he didn’t tear his trousers on stage. But his revealing outfit and less than family friendly performance still had the night ending in ripped clothing, this time at the hands of his jealous dom.

＊ Never Thought I'd Be Missing the Heat by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Harry/Louis]

Harry has always hated cigarettes, but when that’s the only piece of Louis that he has left after their breakup, he ends up chain smoking while touching himself to try and get that taste of Louis back.

＊ You Earned It by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel [E, 11k, Louis/harry]

“Look at you,” Louis praises, his eyes slowly roaming up and down the length of Harry’s body with such possessive eagerness that it suddenly makes Harry feel shy and flustered. He can feel his skin burning underneath Louis’ intense gaze. “I guess you’re my grand prize then?”

Harry nods in response to that since it’s all he’s able to do at the moment. He’s not even going to risk opening his mouth because he knows he won’t be able to form a single coherent thought.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Louis continues, removing his hand from behind his back and holding up the sleek black remote directly in Harry’s line of sight. “I forgot to switch it to the final setting and if I remember correctly…“ The corner of Louis’ mouth quirks up into a devilish smirk causing Harry to shiver. “This setting is your favourite.”

Harry watches as Louis’ thumb hovers over the button, his stomach fluttering in anticipation. When he feels the vibrations change, his mouth pops open in bliss as he gasps, his wrists yanking hard against the velvety handcuffs.

Or, Harry plans a scavenger hunt for his husband on Valentine's Day.

＊ when we're finished saying nothing by @disgruntledkittenface [M, 3k, Harry/Louis]

Louis has barely woken up when she realizes that Harry is still mad from the night before. The silent treatment that Harry prefers when she’s like this isn’t going to achieve anything, so Louis gets up to apologize only to find out there’s more going on with her mate than she thought. That’s when her instincts take over.

An alpha/alpha AU inspired by Written All Over Your Face.

＊ count me in by @disgruntledkittenface [NR, 3k, Zayn/Harry]

Zayn wants to propose to Harry, but she can’t find the right ring. Niall and Louis are no help at all.

Actually they help a lot.

A secret soulmates follow-up to enough to make a girl blush.

＊ In the night when the lights are low by Anonymous [E, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Harry just wants to finish his special Valentine's day broadcast in a memorable way.

Then he gets a message that makes his heart flutter.

＊ I was yours and you were mine (let's try it again) by Kikiberoski16 / @larrysballetslippers [E, 23k, Harry/Louis]

Seconds later, Louis pushed him against the wall, startling Harry. Louis leaned in and whispered in his ear again. “You changed a lot, baby boy. Used to be so obedient. Now you're just a brat.”

Harry gasped; he couldn’t believe Louis would call him out on his behaviour when Louis was the reason he had to change. “Haven't been your obedient baby boy for a long time.”

“Did you become someone else's brat then?” Louis’ voice almost sounded like a growl. It was deeper than Harry remembered. It made him realize he’d never seen Louis angry.

Or, after many years of working in the modelling industry and putting his past behind him, Harry was completely taken aback when his old feelings for his ex, Louis, resurfaced. He wanted to be his good boy again.

＊ Devil in my brain, whispering my name by @lunarheslwt [E, 9k, Louis/Harry]

“Tell me, angel, are you curious? To know what it’s like, to be touched…” Louis tapped his lip lightly, “here?” A short, harsh breath fanned across his finger. “Or,” Louis drawled, bringing their hips together with a sharp pull, making Harry gasp once again, louder, “here?” “Louis…” “Or maybe even,” Louis skimmed a taunting hand past the curve of his clothed arse, merely grazing, “here?” Harry shuddered viscerally. “Please.” “So polite, so proper,” Louis mocked, “will you let me taint you just a little, hmm? Let me show you how good it feels to give in to temptation?”

Or, Louis, a demon, shows Harry, an angel, just how good it can feel to give in to temptation and sin.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

As she kept watching Hiccup, she noticed that tattoo that he had mentioned before. It was one of Astrid’s name and it sat right over his heart. She wasn’t surprised, he seemed like the kind of guy to do something like that.

Danny removed her head from Valka’s shoulder as she stood up, watching them work with the same stare that had been etched onto her face for a long while, hugging her legs to her chest and resting her head in between her knees. Her body was starting to get tired, but her mind was still very much awake, countless thoughts running through her head.

A few fresh tears leaked from her eyes as Hiccup, Astrid, and Toothless left. What if he died overnight? She wouldn’t hear about it until morning now that he was gone, and that was news she didn’t want to wake up to, not in the slightest.

She stood up from her chair, preparing to leave and go home, maybe to try and get some sleep, but at Valka’s offer she turned around, a little surprised.

She thought about it for a few moments before accepting. She really didn’t want to be alone, not right now. “I-if that’s okay, yeah,” she muttered while nodding, sniffling some of her tears away.

She looked back at Gothi, who was finishing up packing her supplies. “Is he gonna be okay…?” she asked nervously.

She knew it was a stupid question, Gothi probably didn’t know yet, but there was still that slight, very slight chance that she would say something different.

Valka waited patiently for a response, knowing it was fairly spur of the moment and unexpected. But it had been a rough night, sticking together was the right way to proceed, for now at least.

Her expression softened, looking warmly at Danny. Extending a hand out, she answered. "Of course it's alright. I did suggest it after all."

Gothi turned to look at Danny, eyes cast down to the floor. She wrote in the sand with her staff 'I believe so, but I will know more in the morning. You can stop by then and I will give you a clearer answer.'

Valka, also wanting the answer to that, translated Gothi's words to Danny. Then, she said, "Come, we must go help Astrid first, then we'll try to get some rest."

--------------------------

The next morning, Toothless woke to the sun streaming on his face. He had laid down next to where Hiccup lied, not leaving the young chief's side all night. Astrid stirred in the chair nearby, also by Hiccup's side, but was still asleep.

The dragon checked on Hiccup before standing up with a big stretch, and crossing to the other side of the room. He knew Gothi would be back shortly to change Hiccups bandages and wouldn't be happy with Toothless in her way.

Hiccup hadn't moved all night, but he was a little less pale than when he was brought in.

Gothi did arrive, taking a quick assessment of Hiccup's condition and changed his bandages, applying more salve to fight any chance of infection before putting on the new ones. She worked quickly with skill, and was done before Astrid woke up.

Toothless' ears perked up, hearing footsteps. He nudged Astrid, waking her up, just as someone knocked on the door.

[pcttrailsidereader]

Winter is Coming

The first snow has dusted the nearby peaks with news that a little further east there is snow and slush along the North Cascades Highway. The road will close soon as the expected winter snows arrive and won't reopen until sometime in the spring.

I am reminded of Shawn Forry and Justin Lichter's story "Cold Going" found in 'Crossing Paths A Pacific Crest Trailside Reader". The story describes a southbound (SOBO) PCT journey from Canada to Mexico in 2014-15. Their story is a powerful one. It speaks of stamina, determination, and excellent backcountry skills.

Wherever you live, the call of the trail may be heard even now as fall is falling and winter is soon approaching. I enjoy the white quiet of the woods near my house when we get an occasional lowland snowstorm. I also like to take my skis and swoosh around a little in the nearby Cascades. Venturing into the mountains is usually something I do on the short term. I go out for a day or part of one. To be honest, my feet and hands don't much like the cold for extended periods. I have learned that getting caught in frosty and snowy conditions even in non-official winter times on the PCT. When my body talks, I try to listen.

If you do answer the call and venture out for a cold weather excursion here are some things to keep in mind:

Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back.

Check the weather and trail conditions before heading out. If you are going into National/State forests or National/State Parks the respective ranger station will have critical information in many cases.

Bring a map and/or some form of navigation...think the Ten Essentials.

Bring extra water and food (see above).

Wear appropriate footwear clothing, such as rain gear. Bring extra layers.

Stay on marked official trails.

Plan carefully for winter weather. Conditions can change quickly and the sun sets early.

If for some reason you get lost, the U.S. Forest Service recommends the following:

Keep calm. Trust your map and compass. Shelter and warmth are more important than food. Backtrack if possible. If traveling with others, stay together, if possible. If not, send at least two people for help (depending on the size of your group.)

To find your position, climb to a place where you can get a better idea of where you are. When you reach a road , trail or telephone line, follow it. As a last resort, follow a stream downhill.

Before darkness falls select a sheltered spot and plan to stay there all night.

Don't abandon skis. Build a fire and shelter. Stay warm by getting out of the wind; insulate yourself with a parka and other clothing (use an insulated, branches or skis between you and the snow).

If you are injured and alone, keep calm. Stay where you are, clear an area down to mineral soil and build a signal fire. Green boughs will create heavy smoke.

Three signals of any kind, either audible or visible, is the universal SOS call. This is where a whistle flashlight/headlamp, or mirror can come in handy.

Going out in the winter is a serious endeavor. Informing other and going prepared are essential keys for having a successful experience. There are other winter stories to be found in "Crossing Paths" that put the above tips into some kind of context. We have also posted stories here that reflect on cold weather and snowy travel that are easily accessed. Whether or not you leave the cozy confines of home or brave the weather consider your skills and equipment. Finally, please don't rely on your cell phone. What works well at home may not work at all in the backcountry.

[kuwdora]

January 11 - What your three favorite vids you've made (and why)? @aurumcalendula

I can’t do just 3, so you’re gonna get 6, because I’ve made well over 200 vids since I started vidding and it’s very hard to do just 3!

I’m sorting this list into two groups—first favorite group features vids that are my faves that emphasize my love/skill of vidding and love of filmmaking/television, and themes. My favorite vids that execute my vision. And the other favorite group is a small selection of My Fannish Joy.

All I Know (original vidpost) - Aliens films - Xenomorphs POV

This is my collaboration with jb_slasher who brought me the concept of a Xeno POV vid idea and had a few songs/bands in mind. We spent months rewatching and having long email exchanges about the visual elements across all the movies, xeno biology and human survival. It was a really really enriching experience to toss the ideas ball back and forth before I had even made my first clip for the vid. Vidding, like writing, can be a very solitary hobby so yeah, this was really great to work through with lyrical associations and debating the merits of each song and how to create pacing for the vid. How to make all the directorial/lighting differences from the various movies work in one vid. I love this vid, it’s definitely one of my favorites.

Warnings for some flickering lights, lots of violence and mutilation/gore.

This is a very lyric-driven vid, so here is Karnivool's All I Know lyrics here.

Watch on YouTube

Rhythm of the Night (original vidpost) - Paul Verhoeven’s 90s sci-fi films

90s euro club music set to Paul Verhoeven’s 90s films: RoboCop, Total Recall and Starship Troopers. I had been obsessed with all these movies when I was a kid and I really wanted to think about his visual style and the themes he was giving us: militarism and fascist society, the corporatization of people, institutions, and the the commons. Ronny Cox and Michael Ironside playing incredible dickbags. Our protagonists trying to survive.

I wanted make a tribute to the films but also make it dancey because holy fuck might as well because the movies are visually ripe for that (in my eye).

So it’s all stylized and edited with my flair for internal motion and mindful pacing. I love the similarities and parallels across these films, I rewatch this vid a lot. I’m so happy with it turned out. Yes, Total Recall has a woman who has three tits and I’m sure there’s a ton of essays out there about Arnold Schwarzenegger performance in this film but damn. The screenplay went so hard about what life would be like on Mars run by a CEO. Augh, everything about the othering of people, class, and labor. The surveillance state. This was in 1990, ya’ll. It’s so good. And everything with RoboCop and Starship Troopers. Ahhh I love it.

My vid’s YouTube quality is really shitty so download: right-click save as or still stream below.

Warnings for body horror, gore, violence, fascism.

I love my editing in this so much.

Watch on YouTube

Hook Shot (original vidpost) - action heroines fanvid. Multi-source (original vidpost)

Hook Shot is my action tribute to a bunch of women across… I think it was over 60 films? Western films, a few European films, HK action goodies. An instrumental track which I don’t do a lot of because I wanted to focus on action elements instead of lyrical associations. And see how much I could make something flow with so many different films. I love this vid. It was an ordeal to find, download, watch, assess, clip and put this vid together but it was really great to get it to work and flow.

Onward to the action heroines vid!

Fannish Joy favorites:

New Best Friend (original vidpost) - Being Human UK/Good Omens/Killing Eve/Ted Lasso/The Untamed/The Witcher Netflix.

The Sunshine One Loves the Grumpy One. My grab bag of shows/pairings that I have loved and could not resist. Especially the fact that I had three sources where the grumpy one was taking a bath and the sunshine one was present!

This is my heart’s joy okay and I love it a lot. I have hearts in my eyes for my vid. This features my humor, my fannish proclivities for these kinds of dynamics. Plus I have been wanting to vid Neon Trees music since I first heard them live. I had an inordinate amount of fun playing with the Wei Wuxian and Jaskier parallels, lmao. And also accidental child acquisition tropes. Did I mention the NUMEROUS bath scenes??

Wild Green Yonder (original vidpost) - Shrek/The Witcher Netflix/Hexer. Also on tumblr.

I love trying to put together disparate pan-canon sources. So this is The Witcher Netflix and Hexer (the 90s Polish TV show based on the Witcher books). As well as Shrek because I was inspired by a ton of gifsets on tumblr and I had to go the extra mile for a Yennefer/Geralt/Jaskier thing to parallel with Fiona/Shrek/Donkey. Using The Amazing Devil song Wild Blue Yonder. (For the non-witcher people the male vocalist is the babyfaced bard character in the vid, aka the Live Action Donkey of the OT3 fantasy/fanon-y trope dynamic). These are all nominally the same kind of characters and I just couldn’t resist playing with this fun take on them.

I like what I like, and love what I love. And I love the Witcher Netflix and yes what Hexer does with its own take on the books too. And this is my own take on all of it, fannish joy and squee. Also my secret agenda to get Yennskiers on the Donkey/Fiona shipping bandwagon.

Favorite things about this: everything, but especially Donkey and Jaskier watching Shrek/Fiona and Yen/Geralt mid-coitus, and starting at 0:49 sleep-deprived Geralt fishing for a djinn while Shrek is literally pulling out a make-a-wish calling card. C’mon. I love. It.

I also love playing with two vocalists for the POV in the same vid. I’d never done that before so it was great to play with Madeline and Joey’s voices for Yen/Fiona and Jaskier/Donkey.

Also curly haired Yen, my beloved. Mmmm.

Bright Star (original vidpost) - Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending was certainly A Movie. I’m not sure 13 year old me would have truly free enough to embrace it like I wish I could have at the time. But I was not 13 when I made this. I used the 1999 VMA performance of Britney Spears and NSYNC which I really loved at the the song came but. I kind of feel like I fannishly ascended with my love for this vid. I am Beyond Cringe and am now Harbinger of Squee and the Things I Enjoy. The comments on the original vid post are really the best and some of my favorite. I love everyone who joins me in this bar, even if it isn’t your thing, lmao.

The YouTube stream is kind of shitty so here’s a download link to the mp4 file.

This one is my favorite because it makes me grin for how silly it is and how perfect it is in my heart.

And there you have it, 6 of my favorite vids. Ask me again in six months and I can probably give you a different set of vids, ahah.

January posting meme + claim a date - prompt me.

[accordokite]

I had three dreams from last night that I remember. Wow.

All of them are below the cut, although I think only one of them is super significant in my shifting journey (the last one). One of them especially didn't really matter, but I want to describe it in as much detail as I can to build up my lucid dreaming skills.

1. Luxiem Dream

This one makes sense, because I stayed up until about 12:45 am watching Luxiem's new outfit reveals. I normally do not stay up this late, and it was completely unintended. In fact, I was originally going to shift to my Pokémon DR, and then by the end of this, I was too excited about the new outfits to visualize my Pokémon DR. I could only visualize my Nijisanji DR, and so I decided to try shifting there as I fell asleep instead.

That was when I had this dream. It was very vivid visually, but I barely remember any conversation. I could hear words, but it sounded like gibberish, with a few bits of actually words I remember peeking through my memory here and there. It probably will not make complete sense, since my Nijisanji DR is so... complicated? Different from how the company works in our reality? I dont know how to put it.

We were in my DR room, as I congratulated the boys on their new outfit reveals. It's important to note that Vox, Mysta, and Shu were still in their old outfits and such in real life where I was meeting them. Because of the sudden announcement, they only had the v-tuber models prepared.

In short, it was kind of just casual, excited conversation. Luca and Ike were in their new outfits in real life, as they were relatively easy to put on (and Ike wanted to at least compensate somewhat for the lack of layouts ready).

Other than that, I don't remember much about the conversation, only actions. The most significant ones are below.

Luca must have said something weird at one point, since we all laughed at him in like a friendly manner. His glasses also kept falling off of his forehead anytime he laughed too hard.

I remember Vox's smirk well, and Mysta yelling at him over something. Vox must have said something to make both himself smirk, and Mysta (somewhat playfully) mad.

Lastly, I remember Ike giving me a firm, strong hug by the end. It lasted a while, and this was right as Luxiem was saying their goodbyes and leaving my room to head to theirs. He said something softly into my ear, something along the lines of "I really missed you, you know?" or "I really care about you, you know?". I know the "you know?" was there, but my memories are a bit muddled, although I think the care about you one makes more sense. I had a response, but I don't remember what I said. We kind of just firmly hugged for a few more moments silently, before Vox said something and Ike blushed in probably embarrassment as he let me go. He kinda quickly spoke whatever words he said in nervousness, as he waved off and slammed the door behind him.

That slamming of the door was what woke me up, but I wonder if this dream is something I will more fully experience once I actually shift to my DR. More likely though, I think it was just a dream that resulted from watching the outfit reveal stream. I'm kind of torn on this one's importance.

2. Waterpark Dream

This one involved me and my parents and appearance from my current reality. We were just leaving our hotel, as we headed to a Waterpark in our bathingsuits. I don't remember the color of my swimsuit, but I know it was a one piece, and that my dad had orange trunks. My mom had a black one piece, and oddly enough, my sisters were not there. The swimsuits my parents wore were also scarily accurate to what they wear in our current reality.

To get to the park, we had to climb a bunch of white stairs outdoors, and when we finally reached the top, there was a big orange slide to slide down. For some reason, the three of us had to hold onto each other, and slide down together. I remember feeling water in my ear, almost like it was a physical feeling (it was very uncomfortable).

Once we actually reached the bottom, it was just a large, outdoor pool. I have been to several waterparks before, but this was not a waterpark. I kind of just played and frolicked with the pool toys from here on out, until a spider came out of the end of one of the pool noodles. It was mostly black, with yellow stripes, and I must have been so freaked out that I woke up.

This one definitely didn't really matter, and happened right before I reached the void state, and so I think it was just a result of my body starting to wake up.

3. Pokémon Dream

This last one is the most important to me. It was short, but I think I was actually getting close to shifting here. I began imagining a simple room, since I haven't really thought of my DR bedroom yet (I have thought of literally every other room in the house, except maybe the bathroom). However, what I did eventually decide was that I would have one of my Pokémon (Zullie, my Hisuian Zorua) sleeping on my chest, while another (Lunette, my Galarian Ponyta) slept in a pet-like bed on the floor by the foot of the bed.

By this point, I was definitely in the void state, and had kind of just told myself "okay, I'm in my DR, Zullie is on my chest, and Lunette is sleeping in my room" and meditated.

And then I could hear soft snoring.

Not snoring like my DR Dad's, or someone else's from my current reality, but like horse snoring.

And it felt normal. I didn't feel "Oh my God, I'm actually shifting!!". I kinda just felt like I was supposed to be there. I kept pushing from here, and eventually felt Zullie's weight on my chest. I wanted to open my eyes, but I didn't want it to be too soon, so I waited a bit more.

However, I began smelling something from downstairs, and so that was when I rubbed my eyes to wake up. And I woke up in this current reality. It kind of felt like I was returning to myself after disassociating from my body... if you've ever disassociated before.

This was less so a dream, and more so a shifting attempt, but for a split second, I saw the ceiling of my DR room. I know I was there, even if it wasn't fully.

That's about it though, although probably nobody is reading this.

[sweetish-original-story]

Chapter 3

As Sammy's career in photography continues to rise, her talent captures the attention of her bosses, who recognize the captivating essence of Estrella candies and the skill of its visually distinct owner, Dulce.

They decide to dedicate an entire month of stories to the shop and its history, aiming to capture the interplay between tradition and modern artistry in Lumen.

While the initial traction baffles Dulce, he begins to notice an increase in visitors, all of them mentioning Sammy's name and her photos of the store. He soon realizes that his chance encounter with Sammy has led to the unexpected spotlight on Estrella candies.

Excited but curious, Dulce eagerly awaits Sammy's return to the store. She walks in one day, her camera in her gangly hand, and joyously exclaims in a voice mimicking her gruff, cigar smoking boss, "WE NEED MORE PICTURES OF ESTRELLA!"

"Good thing too, I was just about to call you."

The collaboration between them deepens as they work together to showcase the shop for weeks, learning its traditions, history, and the artistry of candy-making in a way that captivates not only the residents of Lumen but also a much larger audience around the world.

For the first time she felt free; Sammy's new muse was a natural, literally, hardened by the forests of his not so far but forbidden home, seeing just a glimpse of the harsh and ancient history as a dance of foraged sugary delights over darkened but not quite fully blackened hands. They must have lost their sense of touch a long time ago. Just gorgeous.

While Dulce, on the other hand, felt something he never knew he wanted again: noticed. His words mattered. Without even trying her stream of endless questions melted his heart, though he's not sure when it got so cold.

He had spent so long serving others and watching others move on that he had forgotten why he started in the first place. Now this wild woman walks in, standing over him with a camera and makes him feel like he's the star player in his own life. It was nice. She's weird.

As their creative partnership flourishes, so does the connection between Sammy and Dulce, drawing them closer with each snapshot and each shared moment.

They notice little things about each other, like how Sammy is a sugar fiend every time she enters the shop, and how she once almost cleaned out this cocoa inventory. He doesn't mind.

Sammy on the other hand can't help but always stare at her her freinds...pants. "Star pockets? Again? Are you doing this yourself?" She inquired. "What, they're cute! Can't I be cute?" He responds, only half upset. Giggles fill the quiet shop very often these days.

Dulce always had a feminine flair, to go with his feminine bone structure, a beard, and messy hair that twisted into locs. Back home though, he's just like any other boy. For the most part. The important ones.

He also liked wearing mismatched earrings, and candy leather bracelet around ankle. There was a time where they attempted to break it, they even tried to film it, but it held stronger than steel because of its ancient recipe, older than even words themselves. Posting this online of course lead to people coming to the shop and making theories about what it's made of, so every once in a while he will have an overly curious customer or two.

Soon things settle down. It's almost summer, Sammy is wearing a pink jumpsuit, strawberry-shaped glasses, and has pink painted cheeks, like LITERALLY painted. When Dulce asked about her choice she states that she'd been "experimenting with color lately". In his mind though, she's just finally comfortable around him.

Mabye he has too. Dulce had noticably brightened up since she entered his life, and was wearing a mustard yellow shirt with beige embroidered star pockets and a green hat with a jelly daisy. He's not sure if it's because he's happier to just have someone to talk to or if it's because he can afford it now. Mabye it's both.

One day Sammy mentions that she wants to invite him to the local food fair.

"Don't we need tickets? " asked Dulce. Sammy sings a triumphant little diddy before pulling out two tickets. As always, he looks exited. It's nice that she's comfortable enough with him to do that now.

Soon her proud face melted into embarrassment as he asks "Did you have those in there for ME the whole time?" "Yes!" She stumbles on her words. "No! It's not weird or anything or it?"

"Why would it be weird?"

He gives a sweet, reassuring pat on her shoulder. This relaxed her, as they continued talking about what to expect for the fair.