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My "My Inner Demons" overhaul
alright, since I'm bored- here's what I got so far.
I renamed Asch's kingdom to Phobos, in reference to the original term of Daemos (probably an aphmau 'sound it out' name like Ein and whatnot.) With Mars' moons. Phobos and Deimos. While the general species of Asch's kingdom are referred to as Daemos.
Appropriately, I gave the kingdom a family name. Dacite, a type of Volcanic rock. Asch Dacite, Rhal Dacite. ectect.
Backstory time:
Noi Barter. I gave him the backstory of "sole survivor" from a long dead and fallen land, the story of a late bloomer/ someone whose actually more powerful than the rest. He just has amnesia. The key item being the locket around his neck, changed from a lightning bolt. To a sun shape. Spending most of his days fighting for his food, he found strength in stealth and being quiet. Due to having little muscle mass compared to his future companions made it easy for him to sneak into Phobos. Being caught and eventually set up for Execution, Asch recruited him. Being the last addition and stuff. (Similar to the original story, but I put a bigger spin on it since we know very little of a majority of them.))
Leif and Pierce now come from very different kingdoms. Since.. an entire universe dedicated to one kingdom is weird.
Feng Leif, or just Leif appropriately is from a Chinese-inspired kingdom, exiled for assassination crimes, later hired by Asch the same way in canon. And leaning into another horned creature from the same culture, the Dragon. While his name was chosen by himself after seeing it somewhere. While knowing it correlates to wind, which I HC him being rather proficient in using it with magic. And instead of.. entirely insane maniac, he's definitely smarter than he appears. Not book smart, but very street smart and survival wise. The insanity is a choice for him. Instead of being soothed/ calmed by an E-girl over time. (/lh j)
(The rest of the designs are being worked on. I'll make full body posts later. )) Pierce Stone, making him originate from a Japanese-inspired kingdom. Y'know, with his kimono and whatnot, I'm leaning into my other culture fixation! Youkai. I made Pierce an Oni. A wanderer that eventually got hired like the rest, by Asch himself. How? I'm toying with the idea Pierce signed up for a tournament/ exhibition kind of event in Phobos. Recognized by Asch and eventually hired.
Rhys Wynn, (It's pronounced Reese, Aphmau.) is a scholar from Phobos. Someone finally from the same Kingdom as Asch. Designated by Lady Grandma to be an assistant to Asch. It's.. pretty straight forward with him, I'd say.
#my inner demons#my inner demons asch#my inner demons noi#my inner demons leif#my inner demons pierce#my inner demons rhys#aphmau rewrite#aphmau redesign#story rewrite#i'm trash yes i know#lemme enjoy this-
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hey guys question if your oc’s/rewritten characters/ au’s had a fandom what do you think would be annoying headcanons/mischaracterizations of your characters/world
#aphblr#Au#alternate universe#rewrite#oc#original character#indie writer#writing#creative writing#aphmau#aphverse#story rewrite
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My problems with Magnifico and Amaya and how I would rewrite them (TKoRaT AU)
GOD DAMN IT NOW I WISH MAGNIFICO AND AMAYA IN MY VERSION WERE GOOD PEOPLE AHHHHHHHHH-
Ahem..sorry..what was I gonna say?
Oh yea! Feeling like a long rant again, so prepare your eyes!!!💀
Sooo, I kinda have been off putting stuff again since I had school work and a bunch of ideas like this one, so I decided to just share it so I don't loose the idea (ik I can write it down but idk I felt like sharing it). Plus the fact that I've been more chatty lately lol.
Idk how to transition to my problems with Amaya and Magnifico so here.
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Magnifico and Amaya's Character in Wish 2023
Magnifico
Magnifico in the film is...well is a pretty stand up guy! Sure, he is paranoid most of the time and is pretty stubborn, but he is very selfless and a really generous person!
You can say he is more in line with the kings of original films that deeply care for their children, such as King Sefan from Sleeping Beauty, or King Frederic from Tangled.
In this case, he deeply cares for the people of Rosas. I mean yeah, it is weird that you forget what your goal is in life, but if I had nowhere to go and no roof over my head, of course I would go to Rosas to live there safely. Heck, in perspective, you have a chance of your wish getting granted, and don't have to pay rent to live there. It is a pretty fair deal, especially for families who want their kids to grow up out of harms way. Sure, he can't grant all of the wishes, but his reasoning is pretty valid. The only line I could get from the film that would support this would be when he commented on Asha's Grandfather's Wish (which is to inspire the next generation):
"To create what? A rebellious mob perhaps? Inspire them to...to do what? Uh, destroy Rosas, maybe?"
And a lot of people can argue that Saba's wish is very simple or isn't dangerous, but here is the thing. Simple things can have dangerous concequences no matter how small or big they are. Sure, you can start out small, like inspiring people, but it will cause a domino effect that can lead to something greater. Either for the better or worse. And example would actually be Walt Disney himself! He started out small, but without him, animation would not have gotten to where it is today. With his love and passion to art and story telling and taking risks, we WOULD NOT have gotten Puss in Boots, SpiderVerse, OR EVEN ANYTHING ANIMATION WISE. Walt Disney really pioneered animation and without those baby steps, there would not be an Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, ect. It would just be...well...live action I guess. Hate the Disney company or not, Walt helped get animation to where it is today, and it sucks that his company, even after death, wont try anymore to push the limits of animation except for companies that isn't Disney.
Plus, I don't even blame Magnifico for thinking this way! Although it is sort of annoying that his backstory was told instead of shown (not that there is nothing wrong with telling, but showing for me is a more effective way of story telling for me. You can take the little mermaid for example), I personally understood where he was coming from. In his backstory, his home was destroyed from thieves and barbarians, with his family and possibly everyone he knew being dead. Its honestly tragic, so him making a kingdom for people to not suffer that pain again is very selfless of him and just...feels good in a good way you know?
But as everything in this movie is, it takes the good things and beats it over with a 30 foot pole and leaves it to rot.
He is turned into the villain. And no, it isn't because of Asha not getting what she wanted, and no, it isn't because Amaya, his wife died (she never did btw)! OH NO IT IS MUCH WORSE.
He opens up a mAgIc bOoK oF dArK mAgIc and becomes the bad guy...
...What the fuck. Actually no, applauds to you Disney! This is such a effective way of telling a story. 10/10 forever and ever. Great job! :D
(I am being sarcastic, this is legit the worst way for a good guy becoming the villain, its so fucking stupid-)
He is just simply stripped of his good qualities and only lets his bad qualities shine through. It kind of feels like he was being held at gun point here.
"OH PLEASE BELIEVE THAT I AM ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY. OH PLEASE GOOD CIVILLAIN THEY ARE GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER-"
Seriously, there was no other way of making him the bad guy? Like legit? Simply remove his backstory and make him evil at the begining. I guess it would be weird if he took the wishes without reasoning, but even then, why give him good qualities when he is supposed to be the bad guy? He became more of a tragic hero than a tragic "bad guy".
I will go more into my problems with him after I talk about Amaya for a bit since talking about her character is more shorter than Magnificos.
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Amaya
The best I can say for her character is that she is like Jimmy Cricket but fell in love with Pinnocio (I know that sounds weird pls spare me).
She is like the voice of reason for Magnifico, and it is best shown when Magnifico FIRST concidered on using the book for "his evil deeds". This scene specifically:
youtube
Other than that, she wasn't really a character in the film AT ALL. It sort of sucks concidering what the original concept was (WE WILL GET TO THAT) and instead degraded her character to...well...nothing.
I can't really say anything about her since she just was "I am loyal to my husband" to "actually fuck you I will believe a 17 year old instead of the man I trusted for the amount of years it took to get the kingdom to it's feet." I want to, but I can't. SHE HAS NOTHING.
I wish I can say more about her character, but it would just be me ranting about how trash her is character and was handled. Speaking of that, lets get into why I dislike how they were handled.
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Why does their character bother me so much?
Well it is sort of hard to explain, but I'll do my best.
Magnifico was supposed to be the return of the classic villains. You know, on the levels of Jafar, Ursala, Evil Queen, Malificant, ECT, he just...wasn't. Although he had a bunch of Evil Queen inspirations thrown into his character, it felt like more of refrences to a better film than being apart of his character. Plus, I feel like I sympathized with him way to much. I personally felt more emotion when he was on screen instead of the main character because I understood where he was coming from. Its honestly baffaling to me, since if he didn't have his backstory told to us, I still would not rooted against him. Even without his backstory, it just sounds like he was doing this at the bottom of his heart and empathizing with people who are doing far worse than what he is going through. Its honestly heartwarming seeing a person trying to do good in the world and provide a safe place for everyone to be free from the burden of this world. And want to know something? None of the classic villains had tragic backstories. They are evil for the sake of being evil. There probably was some with sympathetic traits, but from what I recall, there is none. So going with the sympathetic rout is not on par with classic villains.
However, there is nothing wrong with giving your villains sympathetic traits. It makes them feel more rounded as a person/character, and you can get a lot of emotion from that alone. I just think that Magnifico being the villain doesn't make sense since as I said, they made him so generous and kind in the begnining and only destroyed it since "oh wait, we need a villain, so why not make the good guy the villain" and threw in the dark magic book and called it a day. Not even that, but he is not threatening in any way. What I mean by that, is that his powers don't really get an upgrade at all. His magic just sort of turns green and thats it! I even bet that he can crush wishes even without the powers of the magic book.
Going off topic, but making plushie..COUGH... star...(plusie = wish 2023 star) less "stronger" to make the female lead stronger just makes Magnifico's reason for going after plushie's powers even more useless. Even with plushie's powers, HE IS JUST THE SAME. I guess he can now create vines? BUT IT JUST DOESNT WORK. It makes more sense for Magnifico going after plushie when it is powerful because he could see that power as a THREAT to his own powers and his kingdom.
Now for Amaya, her turning against Magnifico is just stupid. Haven't you went through a lot with him? Why the hell did you give up after "oh he can't be saved"? I feel like she could have done a "true loves kiss" sennario which breaks the spell it has on him. Not only that, she barely contributes to the plot at all. The only thing she contributes to the plot is just "getting the teens into the castle so they can free the wishes" then disappears, then reappears at the finally when Magnifico got a little too silly with his drugs-I MEAN wishes haha... Then she becomes the ruler of Rosas. It feels weird and out of place, especially concidering her character MOST LIKELY went through so much with Magnifico only to turn on him when he gets a little mad. It is so stupid. Also, if you just remove her, nothing would really change except the first scene where Magnifico has the book, only this time, no one is there to stop him. And as I said, HER CHARACTER IS NOTHING. But here is the thing...
When concidering the concept version of Amaya, she would have been the villain along side Magnifico. Not as a selfish love relationship or they are together at ones expense (gaining something from one another for only themselves) no, THEY WERE MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. Something to note here is that there is barely ANY villain couple or ANY VILLAINS who are like this, let alone love each other for the sake of it instead of a "selfish love relationship and then one gets redeemed " situation (im looking at the mayor of paris from miraculous ladybug). So that, THAT RIGHT THERE, would have been a brilliant idea and brings something new and fresh to the table. Not only that, it is so brilliant that it would have respected all of the male/female antagonists we had for the past 100 years with the company. It is also A RISK. Walt was all about taking risks, even when his company would have floundered at the expense of making art. Snow White for example had a lot of money put into it that if it failed, well Disney would not exist in this timeline so to speak. So taking that risk is also RESPECTING Walt's legacy in a really good way.
I personally just see this as a fun way to explore their characters, especially when you can reflect their characters off of our main characters, Asha and Star (boy), if you want to of course. I can imagine Magnifico kinda be like Gaston from beauty and the beast with some Frollo flare to it (not the lust thing tho but yk what I'm getting at) and Amaya can be like Ursala or Gothal. Plus, it works as a power balance. In the original concept, Amaya was the potion maker while Magnifico does all of the magic. Its honestly a fun way to play with power set ups. Magnifico can just be for show and Amaya can just be a drug dealer (or basically Ursala).
But NOPE. WE HAD TO SHIT ON WALTS LEGACY TO GET THOSE SHINY DOLLAR SIGNS $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Here is the thing: I can get over Star Boy not being in the film, like I get it. We gotta have that girl power in Disney movies now, and they have to be emotionless people. But a Disney power couple? WHAT THE HELL??? LEGIT THE BEST IDEA YOU HAVE EVER HAD IN 100 YEARS. AND YOU GOT RID OF IT BECAUSE WE CAN'T TAKE RISKS ANYMORE??? BUT WALT WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT. YOU WANT TO RESPECT HIS LEGACY? THEN TAKE THE RISK TO DO SO YOU SELFISH, INSUFFERABLE, PIECES OF SHI-
(This section was removed because I went a little crazy there. Sorry about that. I'm not sure how I can transition into the rewrite section, again, soooooo here:)
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How I would rewrite the characters
There is no wrong or right way of rewriting a character, especially when a lot of people interpret them in different ways, and that is completely fine!
This will also fall into somewhat Asha's character and she will be mentioned to fit what I am going for with the characters. I will also leave out what they both do to the wishes since I am making a whole reimagined scene and it is going to include what they do to the wishes there. It will leave out some stuff I had with it here, but I will do my best interpritation of the characters the best I can, even when I can't really say much about it :)
Magnifico:
🌟 For starters, right off the bat, he does not have any of that sort of backstory they gave him for the original. For what I am going for, his backstory will not fit his reasonings for what I am going for, especially for his character.
🌟 He is more on par with the original personality from the original storyboard, specifically this one:
youtube
(This also goes for Amaya too personality wise)
🌟 Something that is very different from a lot of villains is that he has sympathetic traits. Although he has more negative traits than positive, he has more of a caring side. Mainly to Amaya, but Asha as well. When Amaya found Asha at their door steps (they aren't holding me hostage as I write out this specific part guys, I swear) at first he saw her as an opportunity to boost his and his wife's popularity that would have other people come more to their kingdom (its more of like they are seeing their "generosity" side and dismiss the problems the kingdom has). But as she continued to live with her adoptive parents, Magnifico became pretty close to Asha. Its mainly because of her passion to what she strives to be, to be like him. Probably feeding into his ego, but you know, nice to know he cares.
🌟 Just because he treats Amaya and Asha well, doesn't mean that the kingdom gets that same treatment. He doesn't care about the people at all. He actually has enjoyment when he hurts or breaks people's dreams. He gets all excited about it and you guys can ask him why he finds enjoyment out of it cause idk it would be more fun that way and gives you guys the chance to interact with him :D
🌟 The wishes boost his powers temporarily. It fades away after either a few days or hours. When his powers are boosted, he has more control over the people. And, to who he consumes the wishes of, can see through their perspective for a little while. It also makes civilians more compliment with him and not question his authority. This does not work with people who have not given up their wishes though. Only to people who have already given up their wishes. He can also make people forget certain memories (that might be Amaya's thing though but I'm not too sure) and can put on much more longer "light shows" (think on the level of: Playing with the Big Boys, but more flashy and crazier). He can also manipulate his surroundings with images, but not at a physical level. (Like hallucinations so to speak)
🌟 His powers without the wishes are more of what he uses to do simple things or put on small light shows. Not as flashy than ones when he has his powers boosted, but he puts on the smaller ones to "gain more people to comply when they have to give up their wishes", one might say, inspire them to do so. He also uses it to help Asha practice with magic (She can't even do magic STFU I KNOW.) It also can be used to take desires that you have deep in your heart.
🌟 If hair jell were to exist in his time period, he would eat it with no regrets (Amaya would make it so he can eat it without getting hurt)🔥
🌟 When he consumes a stars powers, he legit goes insane and can shape shift like one, but more corrupt with no consistancy to what he turns into since he legit gone insane. With a star, a star can shapeshift to whatever it wants or to express it's emotions. With him, it is all over the place. He can't control it.
🌟 Like Frollo, he tortures anyone who is against him, and will not hesitate to take it to the extreme if needed too (or that he wants to, to please himself).
🌟 What his wife says or does, he will willingly go through with it. After all, he loves her with all his heart.
🌟 He can't let Asha out of the castle often to make sure that the people will not take advantage of her generosity (thats what he thinks though, in reality everyone is just scared of the royals.. most of them at least) or learn-
Magnifico then breaks the forth dimention and destroys my house.
Ah...right...
🌟 He is such a silly goober!!1!11!1!11!1 o(* ̄▽ ̄*)o
(He told me to write that or else he will kill my dog and cat. HELP ME PLEASE-)
Amaya
🌟 For starters, she is much more involved in the story than she is in the original. She doesn't have a backstory like what Magnifico had in the original, nor does she need too. Not sure how they would meet at the moment, but I'd like to think that they met and then were like: love at first sight and became more silly as time went on...including their insanity <3
🌟 As I said for Magnifico, she is more on par with the concept version personality wise. But she is more of an Ursala and likes to put herself as the victim to get more people to feel bad for her (MANIPULATION AT ITS FINEST 😜)
🌟 Just like Magnifico, she has sympathetic traits. And she only has it, because of our main character Asha! She just found her one day at the castle doors. She didn't understand why, but like Magnifico, only let her stay for as long as she did to post her popularity with the commoners, and grew closer to her as she became more of a mother figure to Asha. (Ruh Ro, anyone sensing Mother Gothal vibes?) Unlike Magnifico though, she uses her sympathetic traits to get people to comply with their ways better. Her main trait she is good at looking at the person's situation and understand it well, or aka being empathetic. She uses that to her advantage when manipulating them to do whatever she pleases.
🌟 She is more of a witch than anything. I imagine her somewhat like Ursala (yes a heavy load of Ursala), Evil Queen, and Yzma (Emperor's New Groove) when in terms to what they make. She does make a lot of poisons to use if anyone is getting a little too close to the close and they gotta...TAKE THEM OUT without anyone knowing. She can also use it for like a form of medicine too.
🌟 Some potions, like turning people into animals or certain poisons, requires people's desire. More so with turning people into animals as a form of punishment. She can also use her craft at potion making to have her wield magic for a certain amount of time WHEN NEEDED. (Gee I wonder what she will use that for). It can also be used like a drug, or to get someone to comply with what they want a little better than Magnifico. She can put on pretty shows too, but more smoke themed and is better at manipulating her surroundings.
🌟 Although Amaya would teach Asha how to make potions, she worries that the people of Rosas would take advantage of her kindness and use the skills that she would teach Asha to their advantage and form a revolt to take them down. (Which really, with them ruling, who can blame them?)
🌟 I would say she is more of a planner than Magnifico. She plans ahead and makes sure everything is in line with what they want and makes plan Bs or Cs even Ds in case anything would go wrong. Asha actually gained that trait from her believe it or not!
🌟 Magnifico is more reckless than his wife. Amaya is more so less confronting and tries to keep up their image. She actually have certain gestures that Magnifico would take notice too. And since he trusts her a lot, he complies and lets Amaya take lead in certain situations.
🌟 Yes...she also finds enjoyment of seeing people getting tortured. They actually made up a game on how they would torture a certain civilian 💀
🌟 When it comes to how she treats the people of Rosas, she is as I said, less confronting and puts on more of a fake smile and gaslights everyone that their kingdom is fine or whatever (It is not gaslighting when it is telling the truth. I feel so offended right know! DUDE LADY CHILL I AM CREATING YOU RN AND YOU ARE ALREADY TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME WTF😭)
🌟 When she has a star's powers, I feel like it would let her create whatever the fuck she wants at an insanity level. Wishing stars create items that would help users on their journey, so with her, she can use it to her advantage. Also she becomes just as insane as her husband. It also gives a difference in terms to what they would do when they have a star's powers. Magnifico would be able to shapeshift at a corrupt level, and Amaya can manipulate her surroundings that would become reality so to speak at an insane level. I chose this one since it fits her not being more confrontant while Magnifico is more so on that. She be lurking in the shadows like a cat :3
🌟 How she knows so much about the people, is by her cat! I think the cat would be called Custos. Idk the name yet, might go with the concept version of the name.
🌟 I learn more about my prey before I strike at their weakest point. (Nah that's very catnap of you. Unless you want to fall asleep for 100 years, I suggest you choose your words carefully. Bruh alright lady💀) And yes she wrote that in...
🌟 She is such a silly lil guy...AMAYA STOP LET ME BE SILLY U SON OF A BI-😡
Erm anyways...(she tried to eat my dog and steal my cat. GRRRR)
I feel like it would be fun if it is just expanding their empire for their main goal or taking over the world. Kind of like this song as their modivation:
youtube
I want this to be their goal since it kind of feels like some of the old Disney Villains, for me at least :3 (And I am having WAYYYY to much fun with their characters already hehe)
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Final Thoughts
On a final note, I will mention that there is a possibility that all of this wont make it into the final version. And in all honesty, I'm actually shocked I was able to compose all of this together without mentioning what they do with the wishes, like what- 😭
I also am still debating if Amaya and Magnifico made the kingdom or it was passed down through generations. Don't know yet tbh :^
Also, Amaya was sort of difficult for me to jot down since I didn't know how to get her into the story, and I think I am slowly, but surely getting there :D
I also really tried to make it different and fresh from the other versions and I am very excited to show that "I DECIDE WHAT EVERYONE DESERVES" when it is done (it is now We decide what everyone Deserves).
You can also ask both Amaya and Magnifico questions regarding the info you know about them now and about how they feel with the other versions of them if you want to of course (and I can show off their designs HEHHEH)
And yes...I had too much fun with writing out how they would interact with the post. DW, they wont interact here in the Final Thoughts section hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I might also do a post on Asha since I have been pretty quiet on her character design/rewrite and another post about Star Boy since I wanna get more in depth with the ideas of Wishing Stars in my AU.
Speaking of Au...
what to call this AU of mine hmmmmm
I'll go with The Kingdom of Roses and Thorns, or TKoRaT. Feels fitting to me, at least for what I am going for story wise and character wise. Might change it since I can't stick with one thing, but rn it rolls off the tongue nicely.
Until then, I hope you have a great day and I hope Magnifico and Amaya don't steal your dreams 💀
@oh-shtars @annymation @chillwildwave @signed-sapphire
(They are thinking of working with your versions of Magnifico and Amaya oh boy not good 💀)
#currently 10 pm at night and took me#5 hours#to compose this rant#holy fucking shit#my brain is weird#oh shit#magnifico#and amaya#are gonna murder me for revealing some of the stuff#ruh roh#pls dont kill me bro#sobbing#anyways tags#disney wish#fypage#tumblr fyp#explorepage#foryou#star wish#king magnifico#queen amaya#long post#story rewrite#wish#wish disney#wish movie#wish 2023#asha wish#asha#TKoRaT AU
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How I would’ve handled the build-up to the Defenders:
1) Instead of rushing the miniseries out, the shows should’ve at least had an extra year or two to flesh the heroes and villains out.
2) Daredevil season 1 remains the same. Season 2 is only about the Punisher. Season 3 is only about Elektra Natchios. So, the original season 2 is now split in half.
3) Jessica Jones season 1 remains the same. Season 2 is about a season-long investigation that puts her in the crosshairs of Murakami, one of the Hand’s leaders.
4) Luke Cage season 1 is focused only on Cornell Stokes/Cottonmouth (so get rid of the mid-season death). Season 2 introduces Willis Stryker/Diamondback, who is revealed to be an agent of Sowande, one of the Hand’s leaders.
5) Iron Fist season 1 is only about Danny Rand and his feud with the Meachums. Season 2 is more about Colleen Wing and her feud with Bakuto and the Hand.
After all that, THEN we go into the Defenders. With this set-up, we don’t have to waste episodes on Luke and Jessica having to learn about the Hand. We could just go straight into the team being brought together. Also, we don’t have to wait for the Defenders miniseries to have them meet. A few ways this could be done:
* Luke and Danny can meet in their respective season 2s of their shows
* Jessica Jones can have a one-off meeting with Daredevil in one of their shows. And vice versa.
* Matt can have a run-in with Luke during his feud with Frank Castle. He can also run into Danny during the Elektra arc.
* Jessica Jones could be hired by Master Stick, which leads her to Murakami (so connecting Daredevil and Jessica Jones).
#marvel#mcu#the defenders#nmcu#nmcu daredevil#daredevil#matt murdock#jessica jones#carl lucas#luke cage#iron fist#danny rand#frank castle#the punisher#elektra natchios#murakami#the hand#colleen wing#Cornell stokes#defenders#willis stryker#netflix marvel#marvel netflix#Netflix#marvel meta#mcu meta#story rewrite#marvel team up#sowande#bakuto
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I think it's cool whenever you learn more about a story's world through Journal entries. It reminds me of video games.
#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#fanart#artist#digital art#fan art#fanartist#artist on tumblr#ninjago#ninjago jay#jay walker#jay#ninjago fan season#story rewrite#journal entry
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Link to Miraculous master thread here, polishing my rewrite of Season 0 and the Magic System
I'm slowly beginning to get reinvested in this rewrite, so I wanted to update my Season 0 plans. I only will be explaining the changes relating to the previous posts linked above, so make sure you read them.
Paragraphs highlighted in red relate to the Miraculous, ones highlighted in green relate to the story/characters
The origins of the Miraculous remain the same, they're made by Gimme and given form by the mage guy in the comic. In the original drafts of this rewrite I was keeping the Chinese Miracle Box, but I've decided to remove every single one but Barkk. Having twelve Kwami in the story makes everything too crowded and takes away screen time from the OG's. So in the rewrites current version, only the main seven survived the Guardian Temple's destruction.
Bringing up Barkk, I ended up changing the name of her power from Adoration to Location. Barkk isn't one of the main seven Kwami Fu saved from the Temple's destruction, but instead who's Miraculous was recreated in modern day by Lila. (I tried so hard to give this power to Fluff you don't even know 😭😭😭)
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this part, but in the Season 0 post I mentioned the mage who created the Miraculous passed down his magic to his children, and to theirs, and that was the new origins of the Order. Lila is a descendant of that mage, meaning she can both read Miraculous texts and create new Kwami.
Shown in the Magic System post, I gave a rundown through each Kwami's power, but I'm feeling like the way I wrote them down was too intricate and boring, so here is the updated definitions:
Tikki - Creation - Can create anything
Plagg - Destruction - Can destroy anything
Nooroo - Transmission - Can send anything
Wayzz - Protection - Can protect anything
Trixx - Perception - Can project anything
Pollen - Action - Can move anything
Duusu - Emotion - Can change anything
Barkk - Location - Can track anything
In this updated version, any power the user can think of that relates to the Kwami's concept, they can have that power. The catch is that the user can only use that one power forever. Using Tikki as an example, you could manifest the power of Creation as creating any object, or you could make little minions, or maybe you could fix damaged objects.
For the sake of the plot, these powers can't infringe on another active Kwami's magic, so you can't manifest the powers as to reveal a users identity (mostly due to Quantum masking), nor could you nullify or prevent another's power.
The Prodigious in my rewrite stays the same, the Guardians wanted to see if they could make Miraculous on their own and created a highly volatile and unsafe object, so they sealed it away with the help of the Mages and Gimmie. The Prodigious allows the user to transform into eight different animals correlating with different values. if you're motivated by the virtue you can transform safely, but if not, you will get your life force drained (kinda like what happened to Gabriel when he didn't feed his Kwami's) and die horrifically or something.
Since the Dragon Kwami doesn't exist anymore, I'm thinking of giving the Prodigious to Kagami instead of Fei Wu, this gives me an excuse to give Tomoe an actual motive, that in return of kick starting Gabriel's fame, he'll give her the Prodigious for power. And then we can repeat mirror the Adrien/Cat Noir, Gabriel/Hawkmoth dynamic with Kagami and Tomoe.
Kagami isn't an amok anymore, but Adrien still is. Felix and his whole side of the family have been cut, and Emilie is a non-royal, only child now. Alike my Season 0 rewrite, Fu gave Marianne the Butterfly Miraculous to help her fight during Frances occupation, never got it back because he ran off as soon as he heard of Marianne's engagement, X years passed and she gave birth to Gabi Grassette, and his dad gave him the Butterfly Miraculous after she died.
Because I like to give characters unnecessary connections; Gabriel, Natalie and Emilie all attended Francoise Dupont as children, and the old Grassette family home is the now the Boulangerie Patisserie.
Atm I've left character backstories on hold, however since I've pretty much done an yet-to-be-updated Marinette's, maybe I'll post that soon. I'm also trying to figure out the villain order, I'll be shifting and rewriting villains from different seasons into the first one, but that's all for a later date. Sorry for the break, if you have any questions I'm free to ask :P
Edit: Changed the colour of a few paragraphs, mb
#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ladybug and cat noir#miraculous rewrite#miraculous au#story rewrite#mlb rewrite#mlb#rewrite#au#mlb au#tikki#plagg#nooroo#wayzz#trixx#pollen#duusu#barkk#don't flop#back from hiatus
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i know i’m very late but i kinda want to try a story rework for Wish
like i wouldn’t fully rewrite the script or anything but i have a lot of ideas of how i would personally execute the concept
i love fairy tales and i feel like the story has a lot of potential so i want to mess with it
plus i adore the original starboy concept and i want to draw him and asha
#wish#wish asha#wish movie#disney wish#disney wish movie#asha x star#asha wish#starboy wish#star wish#disney#poll#story rewrite#bee’s thoughts
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Thinking of rewriting moloch’s orgin story. . Should I?
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A little update for the refs for my reimagining of Alice and Wonderland
The only ref I'm reworking a lot is is Queen
#alice and wonderland reimagining#alice in wonderland#cheshire cat#alice#jabberwocky#red queen#white rabbit#the caterpillar#march hare#mad hatter#story rewrite#orginal comic concept#oc art
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What they could've done with Lunar's story
Alright, so, this is what I'm gonna call the "Zak and Human" Method, because the storyline for my OC Zak mostly fits here.
Zak works for a galactical government called "The Base of Dimensions" or BOD. Humans aren't supposed to have magic, and when they do it's an anomaly, so Zak's job is to investigate the anomaly and make sure that the magical human is not a threat. This is because the most dangerous galactical and universal threats began from small, unchecked anomalies like magic humans.
Why couldn't they do the same thing for Lunar???
Okay, so Lunar suddenly has powers, wouldn't be weird right? On Earth, even animatronics can cast spells and have magic, such as Moon or Eclipse. But what makes Lunar an anomaly is the fact that his powers don't abide by the same magic system of his original planet. His powers are a different thing entirely, and that is an anomaly, an anomaly that could turn into a threat if left unchecked.
And so Gemini, the "Zak" of this scenario, is sent to handle Lunar by a higher power or a higher government. If Lunar can prove he can handle his powers, then he won't be seen as a threat and all will be well. If Lunar can't, then he will be killed off. It seems harsh, but this is all to prevent a small problem from becoming a big issue. All of this is explained to Lunar by Gemini, because honestly it's stupid to hide it and why would they have any reason to.
All seems to go well, Gemini trains Lunar and Lunar seems to be getting a handle on everything, including a potential relationship with Gemini! But then Lunar does something he shouldn't have, he kills Eclipse.
By killing Eclipse, Lunar has proved to the higher powers that Lunar has the potential to become a threat. At least, a threat to his planet, at most, a threat to his galaxy, and that's what causes Gemini to be so mad at Lunar. Gemini really does care for Lunar, and seeing them mess up like this and put themselves in jeopardy upset them a lot because now Lunar would be on the extermination list. And now Gemini has to plead for Lunar's case, for the higher powers to give Lunar a second chance. And with that, Gemini is gone.
I feel like this would've justified Gemini's anger, along with the reason why Gemini came in the first place. The reason as to why Gemini even bothered to train Lunar is so vague that I don't think the writers even knew. So many say that Lunar didn't deserve to be yelled at and Eclipse deserved to die again, and when you see what played out I can understand that! When you actually look at it, Lunar's weather powers are probably pretty petty compared to the other things that exist in this Universe, so why??? Why would the astral bodies give a shit???
In this little version, Gemini tells Lunar why they're here, what they want to do, and why they're gonna help Lunar. This tells both Lunar and the audience what the stakes are and why Lunar has to do this training thing. And when Eclipse ends up dying and Gemini gets pissed, at least fans who watch can understand why Gemini is mad. Whether or not Eclipse deserved dying, Lunar just put himself on the extermination list and now Gemini has to find a way to get Lunar out of it.
It's such a simple storyline and maybe this is what the writers were going for! But if it is, they didn't convey it well.
I know that LAES and SAMS aren't supposed to be a marvel of writing, but if you're gonna have characters and story lines you could at LEAST make them make sense.
People are probably gonna be mad at me for this or point out things in episodes that point to this little story change not making sense, and okay, I get it, it's not like I watched ALL of the LAES or SAMS episodes so I understand if I missed some things. But seriously I feel like this is a simple fix, especially when you have a world as loose as the Security Breach Show universe. For fucks sake, Monty and Puppet are thinking of switching Cringe Foxy and Normal Foxy???
#fnaf security breach#dca#sams#tsams#tsams lunar#sams lunar#gemini#castor and pollux#dca fnaf#rewrite#people might get mad maybe#story rewrite#laes lunar#laes castor#laes#laes spoilers#the lunar and earth show#lunar and earth show#laes pollux#laes gemini
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#coughs#creepypasta#alternate universe#artists on tumblr#story rewrite#character redesign#ticci toby#fuck kastoway#from an old tumblr account#i've spent a lot of time on this au#like 4 years#might redraw this later#future stuff#future project#it's a long story#REALLY LONG#he's my baby
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Sylki Rewrite
(Note: Although I don’t like Sylki, I don’t have a problem with anyone who ships them.) Warning: Internalized Homophobia Mention
Two weeks ago, I binged the Loki series. To put it shortly, I loved it! Loki has one of the best character development I’ve ever seen. He moved past his insecurities and realized what he truly wanted- to be loved and seen. The time aspect was easy to digest and didn’t complicate or overinflate the concept too much. I loved the new characters, especially Mobius and O.B. Mobius and Loki’s chemistry was amazing and so natural, which makes sense since Mobius was his first friend. O.B. was lovable and so nerdy. I hope they both return to future projects. Though I didn’t connect with her as much, B-15 was a good addition, and would be happy to see her return. When it comes to Sylvie, I'm mixed with her. She’s well-written for the most part, but I didn’t like the Sylki romance in S1, and her attitude got irritating in S2 (I'll most likely write a separate post on it). Alongside thinking Loki being attracted to a version of himself is weird, their romance felt rushed and unnatural. I couldn’t really see Loki being attracted to/like/in love with someone that quickly and Sylvie looked like she barely tolerated him, even in the second season. Honestly, I think this romance was pushed by Disney instead of the writers, mainly because there was a moment in Episode 4 where Mobius rants about how strange the attraction was. I’d like to think that was the writers calling out Disney for how weird this idea was. I would’ve liked it more if Loki and Sylvie had a sibling-like relationship. I would’ve written it where Loki feels protective of Sylvie because he sees a bit of himself in her such as his anger, loneliness, and wish to belong somewhere. But, he also respects her because she lived alone and in survival mode, teaching herself how to use magic and escape death. In turn, Sylvie sort of resents Loki, especially when he mentions his relationship with Frigga, since he lived in Asgard and had a family while she lived alone and in fear. I would have a scene where Sylvie lashes out at him (maybe when he accidentally breaks the Tempad), calling him a fool for taking his family’s love for granted. On the other hand, Loki snapped and said how she had the chance to be her true self while Loki lived under Thor’s shadow and Asgard’s expectations. Maybe go as far as to mention how he felt he had to hide his bisexuality and genderfluidity out of fear of not being accepted. By the end of the argument, both realize how their pain does not absolve others and that there is good and bad in their lives. Other than the kiss scene, the scene with Loki trying to stop Sylvie from killing He Who Remains was great.
I was so glad S2 left the ship behind. It was one of the reasons why I think S2 is a big improvement. I can’t really describe their relationship since there are moments when they get along but there are others when Sylvie is really standoffish and doesn't seem to like Loki. Maybe the closest description would be bickering siblings, which is close to what I wanted.
Did anyone else get nervous that there would be a Sylki kiss in the S2 finale? I was, especially when he was trying to stop her from killing HWR again. If they did, it would've messed with my enjoyment since there was no indication in previous episodes that they were continuing the romance. Thankfully, they didn't and the finale was perfect, even if it broke my heart that Loki will live alone for as long as he's alive. I wanted him to be happy with everyone.
#loki tv#loki laufeyson#sylvie#mobius m mobius#ouroboros#story rewrite#character rewrite#loki season one#loki season 2#mcu#marvel#asgard#frigga#he who remains#anti sylki
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Pikmin 4 Story Rewrite.
Main Goals:
Make the story fit within the universe of Pikmin 1-3.
Implement the ongoing Wraith background story from the first three games into the narrative.
Improve Louie’s role in the story.
(Note: Gameplay will not be the main focus here. I may explain some gameplay changes if they are relevant to the story, and I cannot guarantee that they are perfect changes from a gameplay or balancing perspective.)
(Another Note: The initial premise of the rewrite was initially a placeholder premise, but I just ended up rolling with it as I kept writing.)
Your name is Lisa. (Default name for the customizable character.) You are the youngest child of a living legend named Olimar. You grew up listening to stories of Olimar’s adventures on the planet PNF-404.
You have just recently graduated top of your class into the Rescue Corps. A humanitarian organization dedicated to rescuing people from perilous situations across the cosmos. Your father is incredibly proud.
Immediately after your graduation to the force, Olimar takes you on a journey to PNF-404 with the intent to give you some personal training in what he has dubbed “The art of Dandori.”
The tutorial of the game has Olimar introducing you properly to the Pikmin; the tutorial takes place in a sectioned-off area of the Hero’s Hideaway. Midway through the tutorial, Olimar and Lisa encounter a strange green dog. Moss.
Olimar mentions her looking similar to Oatchi, the mascot of the Rescue Corps and tries to give a rundown on the capabilities of this kind of space dog. Moss isn’t antagonistic at first, but doesn’t listen to neither Lisa nor Olimar. She just goes off and does her own thing, including attacking Spotty Bulbears and even eating Shearwigs whole, much to Olimar’s disturbance.
The tutorial wraps up as Lisa recovers the first treasure and brings it to the S.S. Dolphin. However, when she calls her comms, Olimar doesn’t respond. Immediately concerned, Lisa runs to the Onion and discovers a pack of Pikmin carrying an unconscious and helmetless Olimar towards the Onion. Lisa recognizes the danger of the situation but is unable to prevent the event.
Olimar pops out of the top of the Onion suddenly in a leafified state, his entire head covered in red leaves with a singular green leaf growing out of a stem on the back of his head, mimicking a Space-suits locator beacon.
Lisa goes to Olimar to try and shake him to his senses, but hears the sound of a charge horn and is suddenly attacked by the Red Pikmin. In the commotion, she is unable to get a look at the one issuing the order, and runs back to the S. S. Dolphin.
Lisa quickly escapes from the planet and returns to Rescue Corps H.Q., where she alerts her team captain, Captain Shepard, to the unfortunate circumstance. Dingo, the team’s Ranger, can’t help but be dumbfounded that Olimar was “Dumb enough not only to go back to that planet, but to get himself stuck there a 4th time!” Lisa glares at him, and Captain Shepard no-nonsensically sounds the alert to set out on a mission to rescue Olimar.
Upon running into the planet, Lisa is barely unable to warn the pilot in time to avoid a meteor that her father avoided during his landing on the planet, causing the Ship to begin hurdling towards the planet. The immediate collision knocks Lisa directly into an escape pod along with Oatchi, which automatically jettisons and takes them to the surface.
Upon landing, Lisa watches the sky and sees the S.S. Shepard crash at a nearby area. Lisa begins to run off towards the Ship but stops when she realizes that Oatchi isn’t following suit. Turning back to see the Pup mortified at the situation, Lisa remembers her father explaining how to gain a dog’s trust and tenderly comforts Oatchi, forming a bond with the Pup in record time.
Lisa and Oatchi quickly make their way near the Ship and immediately encounter Collin, the Communications operator. The 3 make their way to the Ship and find that one crewmate landed mere feet away from the Ship, Russ, the Engineer--Being the only one who actually knew how to drive the escape pods, yet managing to crash his pod anyway.
Collin and Russ both examine the S.S. Shepard and determine that it is in horrible condition. Russ is already hard at work detaching a rudimentary device from the inside of the Ship to send a beacon out to the other escape pods, but once it is finished, only Lisa’s appears.
Fearing that everyone else has crashed, the 3 have no choice but to explore the surrounding area and hope for the best. They discover the Sparklium-infused treasures in the nearby area as well as a red onion (One with a noticeably different design than the one used in the intro) buried in the ground. Lisa is initially wary of the Red Onion after the incident but realizes that the Pikmin are their best chance at saving the crew and Olimar.
The crew recovers the treasures and grows a sizable Pikmin count, and the S.S. Shepard is working again. With the power to the Ship back on, Russ begins work on modifying Lisa’s escape pod into an all-purpose exploratory vehicle, which he dubs “The S.S. Beagle.”
Both Collin and Russ being in no way equipped to be field personnel; they place their trust in Lisa and her training from her father to get them through this nightmare.
Lisa travels to the Sun-Speckled Terrace and encounters a number of relevant story beats that can technically happen in any order spread over any number of days but generally have the following cause and effect.
Lisa recovers the next Rescue Corps member, who is, gameplay-wise, technically equivalent to Captain Shepard but is actually a 9th Rescue Corps member, Nelle, the Animal specialist. She trains Oatchi to carry Pikmin on his back the next day, trains him to swim once Lisa gains access to the Serene Shores, and allows Lisa to steadily train Oatchi’s abilities over the course of the game.
The crew discovers Raw Material, and the next day, Russ uses some of the material collected from the previous day to build gadgets for Lisa, including the Charge Horn, which Lisa recognizes as a tool only a captain should be able to use, highlighting the question of who made the Pikmin Leafify Olimar and then attack her.
They discover the existence of Castaways on this planet that are not part of the rescue crew, with Collin noting that there have been reports of people coming to this planet despite the dangers as a result of Olimar’s wide-spread stories about the planet, wishing to get rich, see the sights, etc.
One of these Castaways is found as a Leafling similar to what Olimar became. The Leafling is examined the next morning, but no one on the present team knows what to do with him. So they set out to find the Doctor, Yonny.
Lastly, Lisa encounters Leafified Olimar (Henceforth called “Olimin,”) now working alongside Moss and having captured Dingo the Ranger.
Lisa, of course, tries to reason with Olimin, but her pleas fall on deaf ears, and Olimin attempts to leafify Dingo using the unusual Onion from the tutorial. Lisa is able to prevent Olimar and Moss from doing so, but the two get away.
At the end of this day/Beginning of the next, the Rescue Corp figures out their next steps.
Dingo explains that he managed to find Captain Shepard and the Pilot, Bernard, and the three had encountered Olimin capturing another castaway, before Shepard herself got captured. Dingo and Bernard were just barely able to escape, but what happened to Bernard is a complete mystery as last Dingo remembers before getting captured by Olimin, Bernard was with him.
Dingo proclaims that he will take the helm of the mission since he is the “only” one here equipped for fieldwork. However, Collin explains that Lisa’s been handling herself very well so far. Dingo, being the blowhard that he is, gets defensive of his place on the team and challenges Lisa to the game’s first Dandori Duel. (A name Lisa gives it named after the term her father used.)
Dingo is laughably bad at even the basics of handling Pikmin and gets his butt whooped by Lisa, even with Oatchi being sidelined for fairness. Dingo tries desperately to save face by showing Lisa respect for beating him, even though it’s obvious that the dude is completely livid. (He eventually warms up to Lisa in the latter half of the game.)
Lisa makes her way to the Blossoming Arcadia and encounters Olimin again, this time having captured Yonny. This time, Olimin remembers how Lisa attacked him and recovered Dingo prior and immediately leafifies Yonny before Lisa can do anything. He then challenges Lisa to a Dandori duel, explaining that he sees promise in her work. If she defeats him, he’ll return and even Unleafify her Doctor.
It’s a tough battle (This and the rematch at Hero’s hideaway being the only ones,) but Lisa wins, and Olimin puts Yonny through the strange Onion again, this time after dousing him with a strange bright green liquid.
With Yonny recovered, the crew then begins their plan for curing the leaflings they’ve currently collected. Yonny examines the Leaflings, himself, and the footage of the prior day and discovers that the strange green liquid, “Glow Sap,” is easily harvestable from a location in the Rescue Corps’ current base. However, he determines that they cannot use the same Onion they have in their current possession and must instead use the Strange Onion Olimin has been using.
Initially disheartened by this, Dingo chimes in to explain that he’s seen the Strange Onion before. It would occasionally appear during the night, with Olimin nowhere to be found. The crew then begins going on night expeditions and searching out the Strange Onion for the purpose of reversing Leafification.
When Lisa lands in a given location on a given map at night, the Strange Onion lands on the opposite side of the map. The S.S. Beagle then drops the designated Leafling, and the player must protect a small group of Pikmin carrying the Leafling to the Strange Onion from various aggressive nocturnal predators.
Lisa makes her way to Serene shores, and pretty much the entire area is the same, aside from the Waterwraith no longer being present and the leafified Rescue Corps member Lisa recovers being Captain Shepard. Shepard praises Lisa for her evidently excellent work and gives off major “I’m adopting this kid” vibes while doing so.
Lisa arrives at the Hero’s Hideaway and finally makes it to Olimin’s hiding space. Olimin’s rematch happens, and Moss runs away when Olimin is beaten and resigns himself to Lisa’s intentions. Lisa quickly puts Olimin into the Strange Onion after dowsing him with Glow-sap.
Lisa and her father have a tearful reunion where Olimar tells Lisa how proud he is of her. The Rescue Corps would be ready to leave, having now recovered their target, if it weren’t for the fact that simply driving the S.S. Shepard is so complicated that they genuinely NEED Bernard to get off the planet.
Thankfully, Olimar himself has a lead in that he remembers following Moss as a Leafling to an area that he described as “Very Wistful” (Obvious reference to the Wistful Wild is obvious), unlocking the final area of the game, The Primordial Thickit.
He also remembers seeing a strange Blue Leafling similar to Olimin just before being knocked out and turned into a Leafling himself at the beginning of the game.
Upon arriving there, Lisa encounters Moss and the Blue Leafling, with Bernard in their clutches. Olimar gets a closer look at the leafling and, recognizing the disgusting space suit in combination with the Blue color scheme, deduces that it’s Louie. (Henceforth called “Loufie.”)
Olimar questions why in the universe Louie would be here, and Lisa’s immediate belief is that Loufie is the villain of this story who attacked her father and must be stopped.
Lisa follows Loufie and traces him back to the final Dandori duel of the game. Upon being defeated, Moss growls in anger and runs away, with Loufie attempting to follow suit.
Lisa then humorously football throws a glass of Glow-sap at Loufie to keep him from escaping and throws him into the Strange Onion, curing him in the belief that, once cured, he’ll be less of a problem. They also bring Bernard back.
Louie thanks Lisa for saving him, explaining that, as a Leafling, he was not in control of his actions, much like Olimar. He had been following Moss around ever since his leafification, the Dog seeming to have some kind of control over him, which it used to make him attack and Leafify Olimar. He and Olimar reconcile over the incident.
The Final Cave of the game is completely non-essential to story progression, but the end of it does hold some juicy lore.
At the bottom of the “Hole for a Host” you will actually find a Mamuta’s den, consisting of 3 Mamuta eggs that hatch into Mamutas when approached. Once all 3 Mamutas are killed, The Mamamuta comes out and attacks your Pikmin, crushing them between its stone hands.
Olimar’s Piklopedia entry for the Mamamuta states
“The root cause of an embryonic Mamuta’s apparent mutation into a Smoky Progg was never clear in my past escapades to this planet, but upon the miraculous discovery of an undisturbed Mamuta den, further analysis has led to an unsettling discovery.
Mamuta eggs are nearly indestructible, with one that is destined to hatch into a Smoky Progg only being easy to crack thanks to the presence of the parasite responsible for the deadly miasma for which the Smoky Progg is named.
This parasite remains unidentified, but given the indestructible nature of the egg, it is theorized that the only possible parasite that could infect one is something anchored in another dimension.”
In the final event of the story, Lisa goes on a night expedition in the Primordial Thicket with Bernard as the to-be-cured Leafling. Once Lisa and her squad make it to the location of the Strange Onion, they find Moss guarding it.
Moss growls at Lisa with an anger so evident as to be scary. It then Pulls out a small squad of Pikmin from the strange Onion and sends them attacking Lisa for the first phase of the final boss fight.
Once the misguided Pikmin are warded off, Moss roars in fury while smoky black clouds emanate from its fur. It then jumps into the Strange Onion, which causes it to jolt around strangely. After a couple shakes, all the Pikmin that were within the False Onion suddenly come running out in terror and run into the woods.
The False Onion shakes violently as it is engulfed by the black fog, morphing into a giant spider-like beast, resembling some kind of mix of the Beedy Long Legs and the Smoky Progg.
The Abyssal Long Legs is a shape-shifting force to be reckoned with, making use of the same Gloom hazard as the original Smoky Progg, killing any Pikmin caught in its grasp. It will also try to whistle your Pikmin, calling them to mindlessly run into its void. It can even grab Lisa and attempt to turn her into a Leafling, (instant game over,) something you must prevent by ramming into it with Oatchi.
Once the monster is defeated, a shockwave is produced that instantly de-leafifies Bernard.
Lisa returns to the base with Bernard, and everyone prepares to leave PNF-404 for hopefully the final time.
However, when it’s time to leave, Louie is nowhere to be seen. Olimar explains that Louie told him that he came to this planet of his own free will and wanted to stay because he felt free and at peace here. Olimar says he doesn’t understand Louie, but that he accepts his choice.
A scene is shown where Louie willingly jumps into the main Onion that’s been used all game and gets leafified, this time in full control of himself, before jovially running into the wilderness, hopefully never to bother anyone or be bothered again.
Olimar, now reunited and infinitely more proud of his child than he was before, leaves with the Rescue Corps.
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Now that Yandere Dev is dead in the water and his game is as deep in the sand as he is.. I, a random person on the internet, vote that we as a community take the concept of Yandere Simulator and make it into something better!
Because the concept IS decent, just the execution needs work... A lot of work.
Everyone should have their own ideas for it so Imma say my vague concept that I probably won't ever bring up again.
For my new take on the concept, for one, almost all the main characters are actually going to be adults. It's stated that they already are but that's bullshit that Yandere Dev clearly used to justify some in game bullshit, they're in fucking high school, maybe one could be 18, but not fucking all of them.
Second, I might replace Ayano with some demonic or otherworldly being that's not exactly in love with Taro but heavily obsessive and interested in him, possessive even. Because honestly, while the point of the story IS a Yandere school girl, that topic has been milked to absolute death and is prone to get boring as hell. Plus, it's my idea to rewrite the story, I can take it as far as I damn want!
If Ayano is a demonic being in this, possibly Taro could be in this occult team/club/gang/cult so that way Ayano has REASON to be interested and connected to him.
Taro, in this rewrite, is a complex person. He's a nice guy, lives alone with and takes care of his 13 year old sister after his dad ditched them and he kiiiinnnda murdered his mom for the cult he's in and because he just disliked her. Yeah, Taro ain't no goodie two shoes bland mf now! He may be nice, treats his sister well, and partly believes he's a good person but he's in a cult, is willing to murder people who he thinks deserves it or anyone who threatens to find out about his crimes, and he supports cannibalism, under the right circumstances though. He still comes off as, and kinda is, a nice guy who wants to help people in any way he can, real protective of his friends and whom he dubs as innocent. He's got the mentality of wanting to see half the world burn and half the world blossom, he wants all those he thinks are bad or beyond helping to suffer while he wants the ones he believes are innocent to live happy and healthy lives.
Him and Ayano's dynamic is something I'm still thinking about honestly, as while rewriting the other characters is somehow easy, rewriting Ayano is just a pain for me somehow, it's hard to really rewrite anything about her and I don't know why. I may keep her emotionless thing going on though, not sure.
For Taro's sister, she's a slightly bratty newly teen, is very attached to her brother as he's the only family she has left but isn't overly affectionate with him, if anything, she's the most bratty with him. She doesn't expect too much from him and doesn't believe she can pout or whine to get her way but slightly does so to be petty and because Taro doesn't really react negatively to it... Yet. She has no idea what happened to her mom, just views her as missing, and has no idea Taro is in a cult. To her, she's got a normal life, despite her mom going missing and viewing her dad as the biggest jackass alive.
Taro and Osana's relationship and meeting is pretty different in this, Osana won't be Taro's childhood friend, I'll be giving that to someone else, instead Osana is a girl living in an apartment building, cooped up in her apartment and barely interacting with the outside world. After a stalking and obsessive situation she was the victim of, leading to the death of her cat, she swore she'd never trust the world again. Her apartment is a mess as she has no friends, she cut off her family, and she has no one to even talk to, she could technically be counted as a slob but at least she keeps herself clean. She hates the world and especially has issues with men.
When she meets with Taro for the first time, she wants absolutely nothing to do with him, constantly is mean to him, insults him, ect. Taro would've not dealt with her after their first interaction but learns what a state she's in from the apartment building owner and vows to try to help her and be kind to her. Why? Because he feels bad for her... And because he accidentally ran over a cat so he feels the need to feel better about himself, using the excuse of trying to prove to the world or some higher force that he can still be a good person. So...
I will leave it there! My ramblings went off the rails and this is only a concept that I have no idea I'll even touch on again.
#random post#random thoughts#just random ideas#yandere simulator#story idea#story rewrite#yandere sim revamp#yandere sim rewrite#concept#story concept#rewrite#rewrite concept#idk what to call this#idk how to tag this#for fun#i actually think i like taro's character in this
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So...Mustang...
I'm asking because, I recently re-read some of the chapters and I guess this is a sign of me becoming a better writer, but I'm kind of not a fan of the pacing of the story and want to try again with it. Anyways, let me know you guys' thoughts <3
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My changes to Miraculous for my rewrite: Season 0
Part 2: Story
Part 1: Magic System
Note: Although I will be using the show as a base, with a lot of the storybeats being in this rewrite. I’ll also be changing and adding new stuff to it.
Also I’m realising this just now, I’ll probably have to change my plan. Instead of putting Magic System, Plot, Characters into three posts. I’ll be spreading the Plot between 5 different posts for every season in this rewrite.
Order of the Guardians
Kwami are the celestial beings that embody the various components of Gimme, the god of Reality, all Kwami are extensions of them and are created whenever a new concept is created. Tikki and Plagg would be the first to be born, being gifted the specific power that if their domains were ever to cross, she’d be summoned.
The Kwami would soon wish to be apart of the world they helped define, so Gimme would grant a human the power to give them physical form 2000 years ago. This man would become the first Mage. This mage would first created 7 Miraculous, magic jewellery that could give Kwami a physical form; these Kwami would be Tikki, Plagg, Nooroo, Wayzz, Trixx, Pollen and Duusu, followed by many more during his lifetime. He would pass this skill onto his children, who would pass it down to theirs, and so fourth.
This would be the beginning of the ‘Order of the Guarduans’, which at the time consisted of Mages and their non magical famiy members, who would become blessed by Gimme to become Guardians. But would eventually grow out and become a secret society hidden in Tibet. Attempts were made to globalise the Order, but the Witch Trials of Massachusetts would prove to dangerous.
An attempt to recreate the Kwami was made, creating the Prodigious and the Renlings as a result, but the power would prove to dangerous for use and be kept under the protection of Mei Shi, created by Gimme to ward off use.
Fu Wang
In 1919 a young Wang Fu would be training to become a Guardian. Fu was excruciatingly hungry during this session, so he’d use the Peacock Miraculous to create a sentimonster to send him food. His anger towards being a Guardian fueled it’s creation, and went on an eating spree destroying everything. The only survivors were Fu, some Grimoires, the 7 main Miraculous (with the Peacock being lost). And Su-Han who hid in Fluff’s pocket dimension before the jewel was destroyed, along woth all the items already being held within.
(In this rewrite Fluff’s power is Abduction, and has access to a pocket dimension. This pocket dimension isn’t bound to time)
Fu would start travelling the world, holding immense trauma and guilt on his shoulders. He would find his way to Paris in 1938, meeting a girl called Marianne Lenoir. The two would fall in love, with Fu telling her about the Miraculous later on into their friendship. 1940’s Paris happened and Fu would insist her to come with him to London, but she refused and stayed in Paris. He would gift her the Butterfly Miraculous to aid her, and he didn’t tell her his feelings that night. Marianne would use the Butterfly to bevome Delias.
Four years later he would come back for her, but when he found out Marianne had fell for another man he couldn’t bare the hurt anymore and left without retrieving the Butterfly, let alone saying a word.
The Agreste’s and Graham de Vanily’s
Marianne and her soon to be husband Jules Grassette (he’s a new character) would get married a few years later with a son called Gabi. Gabi would start to get into fashion, meeting Natalie and Emilie in school (Dupont). Gabi would grow up to be a tailor, getting engaged to Emilie after graduation, and the three would remain close for years to come.
Gabi would change his name to Gabriel Agreste years later, after getting big after he helped Andre Bourgeois impress Audrey. Around the same time he’d be given the Butterfly Miraculous as an heirloom from his parents who would’ve died. This is where him, Emilie and Natalie would first learn of the Miraculous.
Emilie was the eldest daughter of the Graham de Vanily’s, an aristocratic family in Paris, followed by her twin sister Amelie. Emilie was very rebellious, and her marriage with a humble tailor got her removed from the inheritance. This would leave Amelie in line, amd she’d be married off too billionaire Colt Fathom.
Both sisters would desire to have children, but as both were infertile Her, Gabriel and Natalie would begin their search for a way. They’d come into contact with Tomoe Tsurugi, the owner of tech company Tsurugi Industies, who would give them a Grimoire in agreement that Gabriel would join the Affluent Society (rich people controlling the world club.) With the Grimoire and with the aid of Nooroo, the three would find the destroyed remains of the Order and locate the location of the Peacock.
Some years would go by, Emilie would use the Miraculous, becoming Peahen. Creating Adrien with the use of a power she was not ready for. Colt eventually used the Miraculous himself to create Felix, jealous that his family didn’t have an heir first. Jumping to a power that they were not trained for, both Emilie and Colt broke the Peacock in use, which started draining their life force. The two would die during Adrien and Felix’s childhoods, Gabriel shutting himself in his house trying to find a way to reverse the effect of the Peacock, and to bring his wife back from death.
#miraculous#miraculous rewrite#gimme#master fu#su han#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste#marianne lenoir#gabi grassette#tomoe tsurugi#nooroo#story rewrite#rewrite#mlb rewrite#mlb#miraculous guardians#kwamis#renlings#miraculous ladybug#story#plot#plot rewrite#backstory#adrien agreste#felix fathom#amelie graham de vanily#graham de vanily#agreste
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