#stop supporting dhar mann

[destinygoldenstar]

This is something I have to get off my chest:

It makes me sick to my stomach that Dhar Mann is still collabing with SSSniperWolf.

I, along with many people, KNOW that she is a flat out BAD person. And I don't even touch her videos.

She has criminal records on armed robbery, she's a compulsive liar about most of, of not ALL her content that belongs to other people, copies people's content and then paints a narrative that they copy her. (AzzyLand is an example of this happening) She's a huge narrssasist who puts other people down for the sake of her own image and makes them feel the need to change their identities when they shouldn't have to, especially when SSSniperWolf STOLE THEIRS.

And she also DOXED Jacksfilms, posting his house and address online as payback for him calling her out on her plagerism, and made him and his housemates feel unsafe in their own home.

That is ILLEGAL.

And YouTube REFUSES to punish her for her ILLEGAL actions.

That makes me sick.

This is NOT a 'both sides' issue. He critiqued her content. She broke federal laws, stole, and lied. There is a HUGE difference on the level of 'wrongdoing' here.

I critique people's content, I critiqued Dhar Mann's content, but you DO NOT see me threatening him or anyone, let alone going out of my way to destroy their real life.

Criticism does not equal 'restraining order'

Doxing DOES.

And what does Dhar Mann do after all this very blatant wrongdoing the woman has done?

He gives her a position as a character in his videos. MORE THAN ONCE.

There's no way he doesn't know what's going on. 1) It's everywhere on the Internet. 2) He has to know her personally to even cast her. 3) They are both children of YouTube, basically. 4) If he casted her once without knowing, there's a good chance his comments told him.

And I think THAT is the reason why Dhar Mann is promoting her as an actress in his videos. YouTube loves her. Loves her enough to excuse her behavior. And if YouTube loves her and she's in his video, the algorithm is on his side. That, and she reacts to his videos, so if her viewers see her watching his videos, then they'll watch his video for themselves, thus rewards.

However, MORALLY, this is GROSS.

Especially since Dhar Mann is supposed to be 'the ultimate moral good' of YouTube content. (It's false, as I've said many times)

If he truly cared about the morality, he would NOT be casting her in ANYTHING. He wouldn't even be associated with her.

But NO. Not only is he casting her, he's casting her as THE GOOD GUY. THE VOICE OF REASON in the stories. Like she knows all the moral high grounds of the situation.

It makes me think, and it's painting a narrative that Dhar Mann SUPPORTS SSSniperWolf's lying, identity theft, and CRIMES. Just like how YouTube supports it.

I haven't seen anything where he's outright said that he thinks she did nothing wrong. So take my assumption as exactly that, an assumption.

But I will give a warning: If he DOES say he supports her, he's getting cancelled. And I won't be telling people to do it, he'll have done it himself.

Either he's oblivious to the situation at hand, or he's with it.

And again, this is all because YouTube refuses to punish SSSniperWolf despite SO MANY PEOPLE'S DEMANDS. WARRANTED DEMANDS.

She needs to be BANNED from social media. She needs a punishment that is PERMANENT.

What she has done is NOT OKAY, and NOBODY should be supporting her. She's an awful person, and doesn't deserve any promotion whatsoever.

Stop including her in videos. The only way to get her banned is if YouTube doesn't see her as a cash cow anymore. Stop watching her content. I didn't even watch her content to begin with, but now I guarantee it that I never will.

[mellometal]

Ah, shit…here we go again. 

These videos are getting pumped out daily and they’re even longer, so y’know…longer videos = longer scripts for me to write!  So that’s fun. /s If you want to know why it takes me longer to pump these posts out, that’s why.  Plus this man physically makes me angry.

This video is one that I’m gonna have a field day with, since I’m a lesbian and I want to get married to my future wife someday.  Would I go all-out with traditional wedding stuff?  Probably not too much.  On my end, at least.  If my future wife wanted parts of our wedding to be traditional, I’d be more than happy to help her out on her end if she needed it.  I mean, she has just as much say in the wedding as I do.  That’s just wishful thinking.  

Given how things are going in the United States at the moment, I’m scared that I won’t be able to marry another woman, let alone be openly lesbian.  Despite me being openly lesbian for six years.  I’ve got a plethora of fears about this topic alone, but my fears aren’t important.  The fears BIPOC in the LGBT community have are far more important than my own.  I know, fully understand, and acknowledge that I have an easier time being part of the LGBT community because I’m white, I don’t live in any third-world country where being LGBT is punishable by death, and I live in a country where being LGBT is widely accepted.  If it wasn’t for black LGBT pioneers like Lucy Hicks Anderson, Gladys Bentley, Bayard Rustin, Pauli Murray, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Audre Lorde, to name a few, being the ones who first fought for our rights in the United States, we wouldn’t be able to get married, let alone be openly LGBT in the United States.  Drag queens, drag kings, feminists, sex workers, poets, and politicians in the LGBT community fought for our rights!  The voices of BIPOC in the LGBT community need to be amplified.  (I’m not saying that for brownie points or anything.  I truly believe this and I stand by it.  I honestly believe that LGBT history should be taught more in schools because people in the LGBT community did make huge impacts in history.  There’s a lot of history that we’re never taught in school and have to learn on our own.)  I cannot imagine how difficult it is for BIPOC in the LGBT community to be openly LGBT.

For anyone who’s not aware of other events going on in the United States, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and they’re going to be looking over contraceptives, same-sex marriage, and same-sex relationships in the fall, if I remember correctly.  They’re attacking the Indian Child Welfare Act, which is there to keep indigenous children with their indigenous families instead of having them taken away and put in white foster homes.  At least that’s my understanding of that law.  I don’t believe indigenous children should be taken away from their families at all.  The Supreme Court is full of conservative, Republican, pro-forced birth, bigoted, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, Trump supporting cishets.  I’ve been horrified about the state of my country for years prior to these current events.  I’ve expressed fear of Roe v. Wade getting overturned by the Supreme Court even before they announced that they were looking at this case that the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg fought for the Supreme Court to uphold.  I’m disgusted by the state of my country.  I have been for a long time.  I’ve been disgusted by how my country treats BIPOC, disabled people, the LGBT community, poor people, homeless people, mentally ill people, immigrants, and basically anyone who’s not a Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet man.  I’m even more terrified to leave my house than I was before, despite my state still upholding the right for AFAB people to choose.  How the fuck is the United States of America “The land of the free, home of the brave”?  Can someone PLEASE explain that to me?  Oh yeah, America is “The Land Of The Free, Home Of The Brave” to ONLY Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet men!  I forgot. /s (DISCLAIMER:  I know that not every single Christian is like this.  I’m also aware that most Christians don’t tolerate this behavior.  I’m referring to extremists, like what makes up the vast majority of the Supreme Court.  I’m not trying to bash Christians.)

You’re here for the review, not for me ranting about how Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishets are fucking up the United States.  Let’s get on with the review before I pop a blood vessel.  Which I might end up doing anyway because this man makes my blood boil.

The video starts off with an old man named Trey and a young woman named Kristen (presumably a boss and an employee) on what looks to be their lunch break and they’re about to sit at a table.  Apparently they work at a cupcake shop, because the boss says that they can finish decorating cupcakes when they get back from their break.  Trey tells Kristen that he got another call about some kid’s birthday party.  Kristen obliges.  Trey looks over at a bridal shop to see a woman being fitted for a wedding dress and she’s showing off to her soon-to-be wife.  He tells his employee that’s “what’s wrong with the world”.  Kristen is confused.  Trey says that two women getting married is disgusting.  Kristen is visibly uncomfortable and wants to say something, but she doesn’t say anything.  Her boss gets up and walks over to the bridal shop.

Trey acts like a total Kevin in the bridal shop (which he shouldn’t have been in, by the way…there’s a little thing called minding your own business).  One of the workers there asks if she can help him.  The boss says he’s got a business and he “couldn’t help but notice what was going on there” (AGAIN, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS).  The worker shows off the happy wives-to-be and says, “Aren’t they the most stunning couple you’ve ever seen?”

We see the wives-to-be and something about it rubs me the wrong way.  NOT because Dhar Mann put lesbians in. That’s not my issue whatsoever.  It’s because Dhar Mann just threw in two stereotypical lesbians that present as traditionally butch and femme and did absolutely NOTHING with them.  All he did was make them look like a traditionally straight couple.  As far as appearance goes.

Is there anything wrong with lesbian couples that present traditionally butch and femme, or lesbians in general who present as traditionally butch or femme?  Of course not!  I love both butch and femme lesbians! Butch/femme lesbian couples are adorable!  I never said there was anything wrong with it, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. /lighthearted   Just hear me out for a second, please.

The way that they’re portrayed is to appear like a traditional straight married couple (bride and groom) and they’re put into the traditional gender roles of straight couples.  It looks like there was absolutely no thought put into the lesbian couple and Dhar Mann just went with what suited him, which is cis heteronormative bullshit.  He went with the default and pretty much used them for his trauma porn to soothe his savior complex.  Like, not every single lesbian couple presents as traditionally butch and femme.  Of course Dhar Mann wouldn’t know that.  It looks like he’s never met a lesbian before in his life, let alone ever SEEN one.  The writing on his part is a slap in the face to lesbian couples that have both butch lesbians, lesbian couples that have both femme lesbians, to lesbian couples that have both futch lesbians, and lesbian couples that have any combination of these.  Seeing lesbians that don’t present as completely butch or completely femme (futch lesbians) in media isn’t very common.  The only ones I can think of are Haruka and Michiru (I mean, to me, neither of them present as completely butch or femme, though Haruka is supposed to present as butch and Michiru is supposed to present as femme), the Sailor Stars, Garnet, and Pearl.  That’s pretty much it.  Lapis and Peridot arguably would fit that category too, since neither of them present as completely butch or femme.  At least to me.  Lesbians don’t have a specific “look”.  But you’re too far up your own ass to see that, aren’t you, Dhar Dhar Binks?

I’m guessing he finally put lesbians into the Dhar Mann Lore™ for brownie points and he wanted to be hip with the lesbians.  Hey, Dhar, I’m a lesbian and I absolutely hate you!  Here’s a challenge for you, Dhar:  QUIT FUCKING STEREOTYPING MINORITIES!  ACTUALLY LISTEN TO MINORITIES FOR ONCE!  STOP THROWING IN CHARACTERS THAT ARE PART OF OPPRESSED AND MARGINALIZED GROUPS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF DOING IT!  THE SO-CALLED “REPRESENTATION” IN YOUR VIDEOS IS FULL OF NOTHING BUT STEREOTYPES, TRAUMA PORN, AND “INSPIRATION” PORN.  YOU REGURGITATE THAT GARBAGE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

You’re not changing lives, like you claim.  You’re doing nothing but pissing people off.  You’re spreading misinformation about things you know NOTHING about and will NEVER begin to understand.  You refuse to properly educate yourself about these things because you just want to be seen as the “all-knowing good guy with good vibes all around” or whatever the hell your agenda is now.  I can’t tell anymore because you and your sorry excuse for a savior complex thoroughly disgust me.  Your videos as a whole are ignorant, mediocre, flat-out stupid, and unrealistic at best.  On the flip side, your videos are offensive, bigoted, insincere, arrogant, harmful, unhelpful, and even dangerous at worst.  The vast majority of people who watch your videos and unironically like them are young, impressionable children who don’t know any better and people who spew the same rhetoric you do, take your word as gospel, refuse to educate themselves on topics you know fuck-all about, and they refuse to acknowledge the harm that your videos cause to real people.  Or they just don’t care!  MOVING ON.

Trey continues on his homophobic rant that a gay (JUST SAY “LESBIAN” IN THIS CONTEXT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY…IT’S NOT A BAD WORD) couple shouldn’t be going out buying clothes at a bridal store.  The lady sporting the tux (Alex) FINALLY steps in to call Trey out on his bullshit.  Trey then tries to clap back by saying that Alex looks ridiculous, she should be ashamed of herself, women don’t wear tuxedos, and they shouldn’t be “bringing their pride parade into the mall” and “scaring away his customers” (dude, you got bigger problems at that point).

Kristen steps in, tells Trey to stop, and she says that the couple is just trying to shop like everyone else.  Trey says that they’re “not like everyone else”.  Only then does the worker in the bridal shop say that Trey needs to leave.  Trey is going on a rant still, and the worker threatens to call security.  He drags Kristen along with him.  Kristen apologizes for her boss’s behavior and thinks that they look great.

Cut to the bakery.  Kristen’s working.  A drag queen named Kyla Velvet walks into the bakery.  Kristen immediately recognizes her and says that she’s a huge fan.  Kyla says that she’s looking for someone to cater for her afterparty and she’s looking at all the baked goods.  She says that the boss must spend a lot of time on the baked goods on display, but Kristen says that she’s the one who made them herself.  Kyla is in disbelief, praises Kristen, and says that she should open up her own shop.

Trey walks back in, berates the drag queen, calls her a freak, and says that he “doesn’t serve their kind”.  Kristen jumps to defend Kyla, but Kyla stops her.  Kyla tells Trey off, rightfully so.  Trey obviously doesn’t like this and feels threatened, so he tells Kyla to leave. 

 

We see Alex and her soon-to-be wife at the bakery picking up an order.  They’re both looking at all the baked goods and how good they look.  Trey spots them and says he recognizes them.  Alex’s soon-to-be wife confronts Trey for interrupting their (Alex’s and her own) fitting.  One of Trey’s employees calls out the order for Alex, he’s about to hand it to her, but Trey stops him.  He refuses service to Alex and her soon-to-be wife.  Both of these ladies are rightfully pissed.  Kristen stands up for the couple and tells Trey that he needs to give them their order because they paid for it.  Trey refuses, Kristen tells him that it’s not the 1950’s anymore, and the couple says that they’d be willing to take their business elsewhere.  Trey takes the box of cupcakes and shoves them in the trash can, crushing them in the process, to everyone’s horror.  Alex asks what’s wrong with Trey, and he says that it’s THEM (Alex and her soon-to-be wife) that are the problem.

The couple then leaves.  After they leave, Trey berates Kristen for just serving customers. Just doing her job.  She stands up to her boss by telling him that how he treated them wasn’t okay.  Trey got his balls in a twist because A LESBIAN COUPLE BOUGHT BRIDAL CUPCAKES FOR THEIR WEDDING!  OH, THE FUCKING HORROR! /s How can Trey EVER recover from this? /s He then asks if Kristen is on his side or the couple’s side.  She says she’s on the couple’s side and that there’s nothing wrong with being part of the LGBT community.  Trey’s in disbelief, but here’s the twist: KRISTEN IS PART OF THE COMMUNITY!  WHAT A TWIST. She pulls a Clark Kent and reveals a shirt with a RAINBOW ON IT! *gasp* And it says “BE YOU” in bold letters!  When Trey sees Kristen’s shirt, he tells her to take it off and threatens to fire her if she doesn’t.  Kristen says that Trey can’t fire her because she quits and she regrets not doing it a long time ago.  She says that she’s gonna open up her own bakery and become more successful than Trey.

Okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to rain on this girl’s parade whatsoever.  This is a recurring theme in Dhar Dhar Binks’s videos.  Wanting to open up your own business is a great thing.  I’m not knocking anyone for doing that.  However, there’s a lot of time, work, dedication, and money involved with creating a business and opening up a business.  Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you have a business degree or at least experience with running a business, money, and proper licensing?  I don’t know, there’s a lot of things that just don’t add up.  I don’t know about you, but opening up a business with no business degree, no experience in the business industry, no money (having to resort to taking out loans), and no proper licensing seems risky.  What do I expect from a Dhar Mann video though?  Realism?  Fuck that noise!  Everything’s all peachy keen in the Dhar Mann Lore™! /s

Then we have a montage of Kristen running her own bakery, everything’s going great, and then it goes to shit real quick. BECAUSE SHE CLEARLY DOESN’T KNOW HOW MARKETING WORKS. Not saying that’s a bad thing, of course.  She eventually gave up and went to look for another job…at the bridal shop.  The lady looks at Kristen’s resume, says they’re not hiring, and Kristen goes out to sit on the bench.  Trey walks out, sees her, and decides to just kick her while she’s down (metaphorically speaking).  She says that she’d rather be homeless than to work for Trey ever again.  Trey’s mocking her the whole time.  He says that when she becomes homeless, he’ll find her and feed her a cupcake so she doesn’t starve to death.  What a fucking pig.

Kyla walks in and sees Kristen.  She tells Kyla that she doesn’t work at that bakery anymore.  Kyla is relieved and says that Trey was a monster.  Kristen apologizes for how Kyla was treated again (though TREY should be apologizing, but he’s a big macho man who can’t admit when he’s wrong), and that she should’ve stood up for Kyla more since they’re both part of the same community.  Kyla tells Kristen not to apologize and she did what she could.  She asks if Kristen started her own business.  Kristen says she did but it already failed, so she’s looking for a job.  Kyla asks her how she marketed her business.  Kristen says she posted on Facebook, Instagram, and told her friends and family.  Kyla asks about target marketing or focusing on any specific niche, which Kristen obviously didn’t know what she meant at all.  She says that people in the community love to support LGBT owners because not everyone is very kind to them in other businesses, and suggests that Kristen sells to the LGBT community.

Of course, Kristen never thought about that and is unsure if that would work.  With Kyla’s words of encouragement, Kristen says she’ll try again.  Kyla says she needs someone to cater a party anyway, so it’s perfect timing.  Kristen tries again and she gets so many customers that Pewdiepie’s got some stiff competition.

Trey’s business is going down, like how it usually goes in the Dhar Mann Lore, and he gets what’s coming to him.  Kristen gets successful enough to rent out a bakery.  It’s Trey’s bakery, ironically enough.  He’s not having it. Trey blames his business going downhill on THE ECONOMY instead of his abhorrent behavior that drove away customers.  He blames Kristen for all his bad reviews, which she had no part of.  All her customers pull up and confront Trey so bad he leaves!  And they all live happily ever after…whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, this video made me angry.  It’s cringe.  It’s offensive.  It’s bigoted.  It’s riddled with stereotypes.  One gripe I’ve had for a while, WHY do you wait until the middle of the fucking video to even say the characters’ names?  DO IT AT THE BEGINNING.  FUCK. Just because you write it down on paper, NOBODY CAN SEE THAT IN THE FINISHED PRODUCT.

Sorry this is out so late. Hopefully this huge post makes up for it.

[mellometal]

Hey, I saw another video on Dhar Mann called Mom mistreats goth girl, loves to regret it or some other. Basically the moral is to once again don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a goth myself and I can say not all goths are assholes. Most of us are pretty chill. I just never thought Dhar Mann of all people would be making a video on goth girls. But the girl isn’t actually goth, just someone who loves wearing black. Anyway I would like to listen to your opinion on the video if you watched it already

Huh. Ew. Sounds like a typical DM video where he does no research and does the bare minimum.

(I don't have the capacity to scream over a video of his at this time. Haven't for a while, especially considering I just had a death in my family about two months ago and I'm going through a lot of shit right now. I probably will have a look eventually when I'm feeling up to it.)

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[mellometal]

I didn't think I'd have to make a post like this, but HERE WE GO, since some people can't behave.

Anyone who's part of the "Dhar Mann fam", don't interact with me challenge! Full offense, you're annoying as fuck.

Dhar Mann's videos aren't inspirational whatsoever. They're not full of good vibes. You know what they're full of? I'll put down a short list.

Misinformation about disabilities and mental illnesses that are ignorant at best, and very offensive at worst.

Racism

Misogyny

Sexism

Normalizing staying in abusive relationships, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE KIDS INVOLVED.

Classism

Xenophobia

Ableism

Fatphobia

Trauma p0rn

His gross savior complex

Incel type beat shit

Kissing ass to the police

Poorly written scripts that are recycled over and over again.

Exploiting true stories that happened to real people for his own gain.

Performative activism

Do I even need to go on about what's in his videos? With the amount of sugar daddy/sugar baby videos he's made, plus all the videos about gamers and the ones about bullying, we'd be here for a while if I dissected every single one. Plus it'd be complete overkill. They're the same video in different fonts. I'd only make posts talking about the subjects in general.

"But Mello! They're supposed to be targeted at kids, not at teenagers or adults!"

I get that; however, just because they're made for kids, it doesn't make them immune to criticism.

As much as I think gamers are pretty interesting to watch (though I don't really watch gaming videos much anymore), to even think you'd be on the level of big YouTubers like PewDiePie, Markiplier, and JackSepticEye in a short amount of time is unrealistic. Those three YouTubers have worked their asses off to get to where they are. It takes YEARS to get to the level they're at, if you're lucky enough to get there. Having connections would probably help too.

I get that a lot of kids nowadays want to become professional gamers. They want to become "the next PewDiePie". Yes, you can get paid to game now, but it's not as easy as Dhar Mann has made it out to be. The way he paints this as like a super common occurrence and how kids eat that stuff up is irresponsible on his part. He knows that the vast majority of his audience are kids who believe everything they hear, see, and read on the internet...and just in general. The chances of any kids becoming the next PewDiePie, Markiplier, or JackSepticEye ARE SLIM TO NONE.

MOVING ON.

Honestly, at this point, I'm convinced that people are just choosing to be ignorant instead of listening to people who are rightfully offended by his videos.

If you still can't see how problematic Dhar Mann is, despite there being evidence to support it, I can't help you.

[mellometal]

TWO posts shitting on Dhar Mann this month? WOW!

Anyways, here's another video he made dedicated to "tHe HaTeRz"! BLEH! And I'm gonna make fun of it! (Please don't take any of the jabs here seriously. They're jokes.)

BUT Y'ALL, IT'S TRASH AND IT'S HILARIOUS. It's got a little bit of everything terrible! Like this lottery ticket and check that obviously look super fake!

OH, WHAT A SICK BURN! /s THAT WILL SHOW YOUR HUSBAND FOR SURE. /s

WOW. A same-sex couple WITH WOMEN? A Sapphic couple? A WLW COUPLE? TWO MOMS? FINALLY. /s

You still don't know how to write women, Dhar Mann! You misogynistic piece of shit!

HOW COULD YOU WRITE A WOMAN WHO ISN'T STRAIGHT? *gasp* OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, WOMEN WHO AREN'T STRAIGHT DON'T EXIST IN THE DHAR MANN LORE! I FORGOT! /s THEY HAVE TO BE DEPENDENT ON MEN, RIGHT? Get the fuck out.

GUESS I'M A MAJESTIC UNICORN WHO DANCES ON RAINBOWS BECAUSE ✨I DON'T EXIST NOW✨, APPARENTLY! LOOK AT MEEEE, MY SNOT IS MADE WITH EDIBLE GLITTER PASTE AND PIXIE STIX POWDER! MY PISS IS LIQUID HOLOGRAPHIC GLITTER! It's even safe to drink! I'M FULL OF COTTON CANDY! WHEEEEEE! /j

I'M SAM'S DAD NOW!™️

These "haters" are my heroes. I'm dying on this hill.

OOOHHHH, SICK BURN, MAIR MACARONI! WAY TO GO FOR THE PHYSICAL APPEARANCE! WOOOOOWWWW! SO EPIC! /s

PEETA, DON'T TURN ME INTO MARKETABLE PLUSHIES!

PEETAAAAA!

THIS depiction of Bromantic Activities will DEFINITELY bring the LGBT youth™️ in! That'll work out! /s

THE DANCE/RAP/DISS BATTLE OF THE CENTURY™️

Psst! Hey, Dhar Mann? Do you even proofread your scripts? Just wondering. Because who else would write some bullshit like this?

"I'm a Mythical Man-Child"™️

Mair Macaroni was arrested for being Super Cringe™️. /j

(I know her last name isn't Macaroni. I'm just being funny because her last name kind of sounds like Macaroni.)

WHOA! This was a dumpster fire full of cringe! Making me lose more and more hope for humanity! 0/10

Hope you had fun!

[mellometal]

WHAT'S GOING ON? THIS IS PART TWO OF ME RIPPING APART DHAR MANN'S VIDEOS ABOUT FATPHOBIA! Whoo-hoo!

Before I get started, here's an obligatory trigger warning: This post will be talking about fatphobia, bullying, homelessness, mentioned ED, fat shaming, shaming a person FOR EATING, and the abused thanking his abuser AS AN ADULT for tormenting him as a young, impressionable teenage boy.

If any of that is triggering, upsetting, or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. Please consume media that sparks joy for you.

This time, there won't be a response from me about this video, like I usually do with all my Dhar Mann posts. If you want to see my response, refer to my first post about fatphobia (the one about the plus-size woman being fat shamed). It does tie in with this post, as my thoughts on this video are the exact same here. Yes, even though this is about a (at the time) plus-size black teenage boy being targeted. Search for the "dhar mann talk" tag and it's one of the most recent posts. I don't believe anyone should be shamed for their weight. Your weight doesn't hold any significance to your worth as a person. Don't let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.

With all of that out of the way, let's get to the video!

To sum up the video, it starts out with a plus-size black teenage boy (Kurt or "Big Boy", as he's called almost throughout the entire video) who's on a basketball court at school with his friend (Mike), a few other teenage boys, and Mike's uncle (Frank) is their coach. Mike is the captain on one team, Frank is the captain on the other team. They're picking teammates, and everyone is on a team except for Kurt and another boy. Frank says to his nephew to not pick Kurt (he called him "Big Boy" instead) because "he'd never win with him". LIKE THEY WERE PLAYING FOR THE NBA. CALM YOUR DICK. HOLY FUCKING HELL. THEY'RE KIDS.

Mike, not listening to his uncle (good for him), picks Kurt anyway. Kurt is happy and thanks his friend for picking him. Mike gives Kurt a shirt that looks at least a couple sizes too small for him and would be pretty uncomfortable to wear. This isn't Mike's fault, obviously. Kurt politely asks if they had a bigger shirt. Obviously not an unreasonable request. They're playing a sport that requires lots of movement (honestly, pretty much any sport would apply here, except for maybe golf or cricket) so it's understandable to want to at least be comfortable and have room to move around. Frank mocks A LITERAL TEENAGER with the whole "You think you're shopping at Big&Tall?" line and then says that's the only size they had (why couldn't they supply inclusive sizes in the first place, or at least ASK Kurt what his size was IN ADVANCE?), which....umm, I'm actually GLAD plus-size clothing for men (Big&Tall, in this case) is more readily available and accessible now. I'm happy plus-size clothing in GENERAL is like that now.

Mike comforts Kurt and says the shirt might fit. The shirt does KIND OF fit Kurt, but it's obvious he's uncomfortable. Look at this screenshot here:

Frank laughs at Kurt, says he looks like Barney The Dinosaur, and the other kids laugh along with their coach. This is NOT setting a good example for children, Frank. You're a fucking teacher. You're a COACH. You're supposed to be teaching these kids about sports and shit. You're supposed to be setting a good example for these kids about teamwork and sportsmanship. WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO A TEENAGE BOY, WHO IS MOST LIKELY ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS, IS TEACHING NONE OF THOSE THINGS. You're teaching these kids that bullying their peers for things they can't help having is okay. Do better. (I'd say that he's an adult and should act like one, but I'm an adult and I barely act like one a lot of the time, so that'd make me a hypocrite.)

While I may be fortunate to have had a physical education teacher who never bashed on me or shamed me for my weight and she would cheer me on for whatever amount of effort I made the first and only year I had actual P.E., I know that many other kids who are plus-size most likely has/had horrible P.E. teachers or coaches like Frank.

To anyone who has/had a teacher or coach like Frank, I'm so sorry, kiddos. You don't deserve to be bullied by your own teachers. I wish I could give all of you a hug, but I can give y'all virtual hugs instead! *virtual hugs* /p

So they play a game of basketball, and Kurt is struggling to fully play because the shirt he was given was probably cutting off some circulation, especially in his arms (again, do I need to reiterate that this was NOT Mike's fault and is FRANK'S fault for his ignorance and negligence). Frank mocks his nephew Mike by saying that he told him not to pick Kurt. Why? Because according to him, Kurt will never make anything of himself in life due to him being fat. (AGAIN, THIS IS NOT TRUE.)

Then it cuts to Kurt sitting with Mike, who's working on his car and Kurt's working on his own thing. Mike says he believes one day he'll own a nice, brand new Cadillac. Kurt is very supportive and cheers his friend on. He says that he believes he'll be one of the biggest radio show hosts and has a title for it called "Big Boy's Neighborhood". Both of them are hyping each other up. Love to see men supporting men. Mike pulls out his Walkman (they were HUGE back in the 80s and 90s because you could listen to the radio from anywhere, I have a Sony Walkman mp3 player, but it's a newer model), and Kurt says that he's always wanted one but couldn't afford it. (I'll go into why in a second.)

Frank comes over to reprimand Mike, who has done NOTHING WRONG, for talking to Kurt. Instead of working, which Mike WAS actually doing. He tries to tell his uncle this, but he wasn't having it. Frank then reprimands Kurt, who also has done NOTHING WRONG, for just sitting and apparently "distracting Mike" (he wasn't). He asks if there's any work he was supposed to do. Kurt FINALLY stands up to Frank in a polite, mature manner. He says that just because he wasn't working with his hands, it didn't mean he wasn't working. Frank ridicules Kurt some more, Mike tells his uncle to leave his friend alone, and Kurt stands up to Frank AGAIN, still being polite and mature. UNLIKE THE ACTUAL ADULT ACTING LIKE A CLICHÉ MIDDLE SCHOOL BULLY WHO PROBABLY PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL. How fucking ironic.

What does Frank do in response to Kurt standing up to him? INSULTS THE KID SOME MORE. He tells Kurt that he must have "pig fat for brains" (which is not only insulting to Kurt, but also insulting to pigs, because pigs are intelligent animals), takes his small bag of Doritos, and says that he "doesn't need to be eating anything." He eats Kurt's Doritos IN FRONT OF HIM, tells Mike to quit letting his friend make him lazy (he wasn't doing that at all), and to get back to work.

THAT line made me livid. I've actually thought that I didn't deserve to eat anything because I'm plus-size as a teenager, and into my adulthood at a few points in my life. NEVER say that someone doesn't need to be eating anything. (Obviously except for poisonous things, inedible objects, and things that could and will kill them.) You could cause them to develop an ED, or trigger an ED if they already have one. THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING. EDs are no joke. Whether it be starving, purging, or binge eating, none of them are fun to have and/or to deal with. Even if they DON'T develop an ED, their relationship with food will be all sorts of fucky-wucky. Some even for the rest of their lives. Unless you get proper treatment, of course.

When Frank leaves, Kurt is obviously upset. Rightfully so. How he's feeling is justified. Mike comforts him and says to not let Frank get to him. Mike offers to take Kurt home, but then realizes that his friend and his mom got evicted and are homeless. (This is why Kurt couldn't afford to buy a Walkman.) Kurt, still distraught, says that he'll just walk. Mike invites him over for dinner and that he'd drop him off after, which Kurt agrees to.

They're at Mike's house, having dinner, and Mike's parents are talking to Kurt. They're being supportive. Frank walks in to have his sister's cooking. He sees that Kurt's there. Mike's parents introduce Frank to Kurt, tells him Kurt's gonna be on the radio one day, Frank laughs and says Kurt's not gonna be anything. Kurt brushes it off. He says that his mom says that he can achieve whatever he wants (which is true, to a reasonable extent), Frank cuts him off and says his mom was lying to him, and that his mom knows he's gonna be a big loser.

Mike's dad tells Frank to leave Kurt alone. Mike's mom also says the same thing. Frank asks Kurt if his mom doesn't feed him at home, and what he was doing "eating up all their food" (he wasn't; he just had a singular plate). Mike and his mom tell Frank to stop. His mom explains that they invited Kurt over for dinner, and she tells her brother to sit down and eat. Frank then asks Kurt again if his mom doesn't feed him at home. Mike tells Frank that Kurt and his mom don't have a home because they just got evicted, which is a shock to the parents. Instead of having sympathy for a teenage boy who was on the streets with his mom, HE MOCKS HIM. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? Especially to a teenage boy who didn't do anything whatsoever to deserve being evicted from his home and be out on the streets with his mom. I've dealt with being evicted. I've dealt with homelessness. Out of no fault of my own. It's not funny, cool, glamorous, or anything like that. It's terrifying. I'm still traumatized by that experience and it happened four years ago. Sometimes I have nightmares about that kind of thing. The very possibility of becoming homeless and going through that again scares the shit out of me. The thought of it is so triggering for me that I will resort to reverting back to things I used to do when I was a kid. It also doesn't help that I will NEVER be able to afford an apartment on my own where I live now and will probably have to rely on at least two or three roommates and/or family to get by. Thanks a lot, Boomers.

I would never wish what I went through on anyone. Anyways, back to the whole summary of the video.

Kurt gets up and leaves the table. Mike tries to go after his friend to make sure he was okay, but Frank stops his nephew. ONLY WHEN KURT LEAVES DOES FRANK ALL NONCHALANTLY SAY THAT HE'S STARVING AND THAT THEY SHOULD ALL EAT. Despite Frank making Kurt as well as his (Frank's) own family upset.

Kurt walks to where his mom is. His mom notices that he's upset. Kurt tells his mom that it's because of Frank. His mom comforts him and gives him the advice that she gave him before. Kurt is still obviously too upset to take anything she's telling him, bringing up that they're homeless and broke, and his mom is desperate to help comfort her son. She gives him his birthday present early, which happens to be a Walkman. Kurt is shocked. He thought they didn't have that kind of money. His mom says not to worry about that. She pokes some lighthearted fun at her son, he thanks her, and he asks her a question. He asks if she believes he'll be successful or if she's saying that to make him feel better. She asks if he believes he'll be successful (yep), and he tells her that when he succeeds, he'll buy them a house so they don't have to be homeless anymore or worry about getting evicted.

Fast forward to adulthood, Kurt becomes a bouncer, meets someone who works at a radio station, and he goes there. Just to have people laughing at him. He's distraught again and leaves the station, thinking that he made a bad decision. Frank happens to come by, see that Kurt was upset, and asks what's wrong. Kurt tells him what happened, and Frank mocks him AGAIN with the same shit he told him when he was a TEENAGE BOY, now as a YOUNG ADULT. He walks off, laughing.

Nice going! /s Kicking Kurt while he's down JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, RIGHT? FUCK YOU.

Kurt then decides that he's gonna lose weight and be the best radio show host. (Toxic much? Why would you try to preach that your weight = your worth as a person? If you're losing weight for yourself, great! I'm happy for you! If you don't want to lose weight, you don't give a fuck about what people say, and you're happy in your own skin, that's awesome too! Do it for yourself, not for anyone's approval. Try to love yourself and accept yourself in any form you're in. Don't fall for the bullshit that you have to be a certain size or look a certain way for you to love and accept yourself. The weight may be gone, but the rest of your issues will still be there. I have to clarify that I meant this in GENERAL, not necessarily for extremities on either side of the spectrum of weight...because there are things you MUST follow.)

Kurt gets back to the station, ignores all the people being assholes, he's doing his thing, and he's climbing up.

Fast forward to when Kurt is middle-aged. He has his own radio show, and he's one of the biggest names in the radio industry. After he finishes up his show, he goes outside to see a couple of young fans. A young black girl with her brother, a plus-size boy. They say how much they love his show, they got his merch, and the boy tells Kurt that he wants to be just like him. The boy doubts himself though because of people abusing him JUST LIKE what Kurt went through. Kurt empathizes with the boy and tells him a little bit about his own experience. Following them is Frank as an old man. They're his grandkids.

Frank recognizes Kurt, and actually apologizes to him for the torment he put him through as a teenager. WHAT A SHOCK. /srs

Kurt takes it with grace, but says that he should be thanking Frank for all the torment. Why? Because it "motivated him". The girl says that she loves that. (Okay, since she's a kid and there's still time for her to change her mind about certain things, I'm not going to be as harsh here. I don't bash on the kids unless they're doing or saying extremely fucked up things willingly. She didn't say this with bad intentions. I understand you're coming from a good place, and I appreciate that, but please hear me out. This wasn't at all like dealing with edgy thirteen year olds on the internet. This man you look up to was abused by your grandfather in his youth. Your brother is experiencing that same torment your idol went through...at a younger age too, it seems like. The kid looks no older than middle school age [ten or eleven at the YOUNGEST to maybe thirteen or fourteen at the OLDEST]. That's a huge problem. Kurt may have "toughed it out", but that might not be the case for your brother. Please don't excuse that kind of behavior.)

Dude...what the actual fuck? I can understand not being bothered by the hate, but this grown ass man literally VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED YOU AS A YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE TEENAGE BOY, CONTINUING INTO ADULTHOOD, and you're THANKING Frank for all of that? Why should you thank your abuser for what he put you through? He didn't contribute ANYTHING to your success. So I guess abuse is a GREAT contribution to people's success now, right? /s It doesn't contribute to anything, in my opinion. Yes, what doesn't kill you can make you stronger, but can we normalize people becoming weaker to a point due to traumatic events? Because they exist. Demonizing survivors who have become weaker to some degree or just flat-out ignoring them isn't helping. You did the thing you wanted to do, Kurt. Frank didn't help you. The person who really helped you was YOU and your mom.

MOVING ON.

The boy asks Kurt if he thinks he'll ever be able to make it as a radio show host. Kurt asks if HE believes that. The boy says he does. Kurt gives him some advice and gives the boy his Walkman. The boy's ecstatic, they leave, and Kurt goes to meet up with his mom.

Keeping to his promise, Kurt bought his mom a house so she'd never be homeless again and never have to worry about being evicted. (HOW LONG WAS SHE HOMELESS FOR? OH MY GOD. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. I hope you at least let her stay with you or something. They never went into that, unfortunately.) She's very grateful. The video ends there.

My personal thoughts on the video: Another piss poor video....but worse! Because it was a COLLAB. And based on a true story. Good going with taking this man's story of being abused by a grown adult to exploit for your personal gain, Dhar Mann! WOW. LOVE THAT! Totally a good look. /s

What I took from this video is that if you're plus-size, according to Dhar Mann, you'll apparently NEVER be successful, let alone be taken seriously...which is an absolute lie. There are many plus-size people who are very successful. Another thing I took from the video is that apparently according to Dhar Mann, being verbally and emotionally abused as a teenager by a grown adult all the way into adulthood is "motivation" for you to work harder to reach your goals. (Nice going, Dhar Mann. Justifying grown adults abusing children. Who would've thought? /s)

Oh, and it's like MANDATORY to thank your abusers for tormenting you when you become successful! (Obviously this is an exaggeration. This is me using Dhar Mann's logic against him.) You want to thank them for making you stronger? Fine. You want to spit in their face and say, "Fuck you." to them? Also fine. You want to just never acknowledge them ever again? Totally fine. Whatever you want to do, that's fine by me, but can you not imply that "thanking" your abusers is mandatory in some way?

If you made it this far, thank you! I hope you're having a good morning/day/afternoon/evening/night. Stay safe, y'all. Love you. /p

[mellometal]

There's something I forgot to talk about because of life and making edits, but I actually had one of the actors from the most recent video Dhar Mann made about ASD respond to my comments a little while back. Johnny is his name. He played the man who brought in the autistic man with a communication device. It's in the screenshot below.

Johnny's response basically glossed over my comments about how ableist, misinformed, and harmful this narrative in the video is. Plus how sick and tired of the performative activism I'm seeing with neurotypical and able-bodied people on social media when it comes to disabled people like myself. He (Johnny) said that I should watch the behind the scenes video of that video and that I'd probably like it. I told him that I'm good, and I'm not interested.

If you're unfamiliar and you want to see an in-depth post about it, feel free to read that post. Just search up "autism" or "dhar mann talk" on my page and it should be one of the most recent posts about Dhar Mann.

I'm not mad at Johnny, obviously. He didn't do anything wrong. I have no beef with him or any of the actors. He seems like an okay guy. If he wanted to know about how using the "different ability" terminology is ableist towards disabled people (not just autistic people, but in this case, we're talking about autistic people), I would have been more than happy to educate him! That'd go for anyone who doesn't know about how saying "differently abled" or using "different ability" when referring to disabled people is ableist.

Using terminology like "different ability", "differently abled", "special needs", the functioning labels, and "neurologically gifted" (that's now a thing, apparently) are ableist. They're basically treating the word disabled like it's a bad word, like somehow being disabled is a bad thing or something offensive. It's not offensive to say that a person's disabled when they're actually disabled. It's the truth. It's not offensive to say that a disabled person is disabled, especially not to disabled people. Quit assuming it's offensive to say that disabled people are disabled, or that being disabled is a bad thing. The needs and/or accommodations of disabled people aren't special. It's infantilizing disabled people. For example, some people who use wheelchairs need help going to the bathroom, getting dressed, bathing, and getting to places, but that's the assistance they require in their daily lives. The functioning labels (i.e., saying someone is high-functioning or low-functioning) are harmful because they're making assumptions about a disabled person's intelligence, mainly when it comes to communication and how they go about their daily lives. Like, just because a disabled person can speak through oral communication, it doesn't necessarily make them smarter than people who use sign language or a communication device to speak. Just because a disabled person speaks through other means of communication that aren't oral communication, it doesn't make them stupid. I'm personally guilty of using the "special needs" term and the functioning labels in the past, but that's only because I genuinely didn't know they were bad to use. Y'know, due to that terminology being around me a lot. I did educate myself on those subjects from listening to other disabled people, took that bullshit out of my vocabulary, and I share my knowledge with others! As far as the "neurologically gifted" bullshit goes, just because I do certain things differently from other people and I have strengths in certain areas, it doesn't make me "neurologically gifted".

My only question is why would I want to watch a behind the scenes video of a video with an ableist, misinformed, harmful narrative? I already have issues with the video itself. Watching a video of behind the scenes footage for a video I have more issues than Vogue with would do absolutely nothing for me. It wouldn't change how I feel about it.

I just wanted to discuss this real quick.

[mellometal]

Dhar Mann has an idea to create feature films, as if his videos aren't already bad enough. They are about:

a girl running away from home to find her biological parents after finding out that she is adopted

a ten-year-old genius in high school running an criminal empire

an Indian girl about to be in an arranged marriage, but is secretly engaged to her high school sweetheart.

The last one I find especially disturbing. Is that even legal? I know it's practiced in some cultures, but would it be allowed in the US? Please speak on this. I think it would be much better to hear this from you than anybody else.

A lot to unpack here!

First off, depending if it was a closed adoption or open adoption, I believe it'd be pretty difficult for someone who was adopted to find their biological parents. Especially if the biological parents don't want any contact with their biological kid. I don't know for sure, so if anyone who has more information about that kind of thing wants to chime in, you're welcome to do so. I'm open to being further educated about the adoption process.

Second, as far as age of criminal responsibility goes, in a lot of states, the youngest age a minor can be sent to a juvenile detention center was raised to twelve years old, while some others have it set to ten years old. That's under the Child Justice Amendment Act of 2019. Some states don't have a set minimum age, as I've heard of kids as young as eight years old being put in juvie. From what I've read, that's only in rare circumstances.

That's mainly up to the discretion of a judge. I don't know, that scenario sounds super unrealistic.

Third, only ten states have any laws that talk about arranged marriage, as far as I know. Forced marriage is considered a crime in some states too. I can't say that I've heard of any arranged marriages in the United States as a whole, unless they have ties to countries where arranged marriage usually occurs (i.e., India and countries in the Middle East). Maybe that happens in small communities as well, but that's all I could find on the topic. It's very complicated for me to explain.

I tried to explain these points as best as I can! 😅

[mellometal]

It seems like Dhar Mann has fucked up AGAIN. I'm pissed. He really thought that it would be cool to make ANOTHER video about ASD to spread the ableist, misinformed, harmful narrative that "autism isn't a disability, it's a different ability". LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

To sum up the video, an autistic man who uses a device to communicate with people gets hired at this restaurant. The boss says to the guy who brought in said autistic man that having a disabled person working at his restaurant would "make things worse". The guy tries to stand up for the autistic man by saying that he's smart and stuff, but doesn't bother to call out the boss being completely ableist.

The boss then tells the autistic man to not touch anything and to stay out of the way, which is underestimating what he's capable of. When the two cooks in the kitchen ask a genuine question about who their new coworker is and why he uses a communication device to speak, the boss doesn't introduce him to the cooks and says that he's "nobody".

Pretty much the ONLY person who bothered to do anything remotely positive with the autistic man (that was shown) was the pastry chef. She was teaching him how to decorate a cake, was very patient with him, and gave him praise along the way. She was interested in getting to know him. She wasn't mean to him or anything. She stood up for him when the boss was being an ableist bag of dicks. He even threatened to fire this guy, who did nothing wrong, just for being autistic and the boss had no idea how to help accommodate his employee in any way. He ended up discriminating his employee for being autistic. (Which he could get sued for in the United States, if this happened in real life. Disabled people are a protected class in the workplace under Equal Employment Opportunity, or EEO. Dhar Mann, this includes autistic people.)

Hell, even the autistic man stood up to the boss. He went into how nobody wanted to hang out with him and stuff when he was growing up, that he had to be hidden away from other people, and nobody bothered to give him a chance because he's autistic and uses a communication device to speak. He's good with people. He pretty much told his boss to stop being an ableist piece of shit.

When the cooks and the pastry chef all say that their new coworker fixed the fryer and decorated the cake, the boss then changes his tune. Happy ending, Whoop-dee-fuckin-doo.

First off, how does being nonverbal affect a person's intelligence in any way? How does a communication device affect a person's intelligence? Let me tell you, none of these things affect a person's intelligence whatsoever. To think that they would is misinformed at best, and ableist at worst.

There are people who genuinely don't know about all the different types of communication that people use, and that's okay! I'm not mad at anyone who doesn't know about different types of communication besides oral speech, writing, and sign language. (I've worked with and interacted with a few people who use some of these different forms of communication.)

Some people use a communication device like a tablet for Text-to-Speech (that was shown in the video). I worked with someone throughout school who used a communication device.

Some people use basic mands (expressive language) and/or basic statements. An example of that would be a person saying, "Me, walk." to mean they're going on a walk. Sometimes they'll make a gesture to show they're going on a walk when they do this. I work with someone who mainly uses this form of communication.

Some use books or wear something like a belt with pictures held on with velcro that they can take out and put back in their books or belt. I've worked with someone in school who mainly used this form of communication.

Alright, now that's out of the way....onto my response. I'm happy that I saved screenshots of my comments because I think Dhar Mann deleted them! (Edit: Scratch that, I commented these on Dhar Mann's other account for his behind the scenes shit instead of his main.) I might get blocked, but it'll be worth it. I have multiple accounts, so I'm not going down easy. He really can't handle being told that his narrative is wrong. (I've been wrong many times before, so this ain't about that "holier-than-thou" shit. I try my best to fix things, learn, and improve. I mean, it hurts sometimes, but I at least try to improve myself.)

This video hit home. I had to hide being autistic from my employer because I was afraid of being rejected for a job opportunity because of it and I was afraid of dealing with ableist people like these men shown above.

While I'm fortunate to be able to hold down a job, there are many autistic people who can't hold down a job or can't work at all. This shit doesn't help.

(For anyone who needs a description for my comments....I am calling out Dhar Mann for his blatant ableism and his fans in the comments for eating up this ableist, misinformed, harmful narrative and about the performative activism quite a few people on IG are about. It's way too long for me to go into extreme detail.)

(ETA: Yes, autistic nonbinary people exist. I didn't intentionally forget y'all in my comments! I love y'all! /p I wrote it while I was quite heated, plus the sleep deprivation didn't help.)

The YouTuber I mentioned, for anyone who wants to know, is TheMysteriousMrEnter. He's an autistic creator who makes commentaries about cartoons (just animations in general), he has talked about his issues with @utism $p3aks, and a lot of other things. He's even talked about his own cyber harassment and how he had stalkers on a few occasions. Honestly, I can relate to him on a few things, mainly because I've been harassed on the internet and have had stalkers online. Plus the love for cartoons and anime. If you're into cartoon commentaries, check him out. He's underrated. (Also....some ace representation for all my ace people here.)

Dhar Mann's a real piece of human garbage! The fact that he still has supporters is sickening. Again, I feel bad for all the actors in his videos. They deserve better.

[mellometal]

Dr Todd Grande just made a video analysing Dhar Mann's videos. It's hilarious. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pWbMnRceUw

They talk about his background and everything. It's great.

I saw that he made a video. Haven't watched it yet. I like Dr. Todd Grande's content.

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.

It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.

I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.

If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.

Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s

My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.

With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.

To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.

Here are a few screenshots for context:

When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.

Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.

The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.

This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.

Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".

Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.

Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.

Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.

(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)

Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.

ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one). 

I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.

CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):

 I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time? 

You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me. 

I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do. 

There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it. 

No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.

CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):

Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.

Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.

How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.

I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.

Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them. 

If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.

CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):

There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.

(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)

In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:

Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.

By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!

If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.

Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!

[mellometal]

omfg did you see dhar mann's bald girl video? in it, dhar mann, AN ADULT, takes a MINOR TO PROM??????

👁👄👁

Anon, I've been looking at this for the past few minutes so I can begin to form some kind of response.

I haven't seen that video yet, but WHAT THE FUCK? EW. HE'S PUSHING FORTY YEARS OLD. That's disgusting.

Welp, I know what my next installment of the Dhar Mann slaughter will be!

(By the way, for any fucking Dhar Mann stans who are reading this, I'm not calling him a p3d0phile or anything. There's no evidence to back up a claim as serious as that. Calm your shit.)

Prom in a lot of places is different in the U.S. I don't know how this would work in other places, so I'm going off from what I know. At my high school, if you were twenty-one or older, you weren't allowed to be at prom. The reason for that, I believe, is because the disabled students at my high school had to stay there until they're twenty-one, and there are quite a few people who got held back until they were twenty-one as well. I think that it's really stupid to have the disabled students stay in high school until they're twenty-one if they don't need to. Like I said, Dhar Mann is pushing FORTY. He wouldn't even be ALLOWED at prom at the school I went to.

Thank you for sending this in, anon.

[mellometal]

dhar amnn deleted the videos that were offensive to the disabled community and reuploaded them with links to charities that help the disabled, thoughts?

It took him THIS long to somehow "make things right" with disabled people? Honestly, he should have been at least putting links to reputable charities and such that actually help disabled people and aren't shady or problematic in the first place.

The fact that he believes that Autism Spectrum Disorder isn't a disability (which it is) is extremely offensive, full of misinformation, and is a huge slap in the face to autistic people.

Dhar Mann has a gross savior complex and I wish people would quit kissing his ass. I'll take this with a heavy grain of salt. Because his performative activism bullshit needs to stop.

[mellometal]

Hello, everyone. 

I know this is kind of bad timing, as Valentine’s Day is approaching, but this needs to be talked about more.  What will be today’s topics that Dhar Mann manages to romanticize, try to normalize, and royally fucks up on “writing” about EVERY SINGLE TIME?

If you guessed any topics about toxic relationships, fatphobia, misogyny, and flat-out exploiting a person for someone else’s personal gain (financially in this case, so gold digging bullshit), you’re correct!  It’s a total whammy.  Because Dhar Mann sure loves putting in toxic relationships just for the hell of it!  He tries to paint being in a toxic relationship like it’s a normal thing.  News flash!  It’s not normal whatsoever.

At this time, I don’t see myself writing out a whole response to Dhar Mann on his videos anytime soon.  It’s very obvious to me that he does not listen to the voices of the real people he’s targeting and hurting with videos like this.  He doesn’t respond to anyone unless they’re up his ass telling him how great his videos are, when his videos are mediocre and cringe at best and disgustingly offensive at worst. This one is the latter.

Today’s video I’m going to be ripping apart is a video that was posted about a month ago.  It features a guy in high school named Jack, who has a band with his friends, Angela (his girlfriend), and Lisa (Angela’s best friend).

Jack is talking to his friends by the lockers about band rehearsal, asking if they’re still down to rehearse at his place.  They say yes, obviously.  One asks if he can bring Stacy, his girlfriend presumably, another chimes in about his girlfriend Giselle wanting to come to rehearsal, and Jack says yes to both of them.  He says to “bring all the cute girls they want.” Jack goes on about how they should go out after rehearsal when his girlfriend Angela surprises him in what seems to be the usual way she does.  Mind you, he doesn’t even register that it’s his fucking girlfriend at first and guesses the name of a completely different girl named Brandy.*  He plays it off as a “joke” and Angela goes along with it.*

(*There’s the first red flag, if you want to count it as a red flag.  It could mean that he either has a friend named Brandy and she sounds a lot like Angela, he has issues with differentiating his girlfriend’s voice from another girl’s voice, or he’s cheating on Angela with Brandy on the low.  Or he’s just a straight-up asshole who wants to see a reaction out of his girlfriend for no reason.  However you want to interpret it, you can count it as a red flag.)

Angela has a surprise for Jack, but she doesn’t show him at first.  She acts happy to be around her boyfriend, and Jack just kind of treats Angela like she’s a burden.  (Of course, I’m not mad about Jack saying he’s not a fan of PDA.  It’s healthy to set some boundaries for yourself in any kind of relationship you’re in. But this is a different story.) Jack changes his tune when Angela comes in with a brand new guitar he saw at the store.  He’s “appreciative” of the new guitar.  Angela says that she can’t wait to see Jack rehearse with the new guitar she bought for him, thinking that she’s automatically invited to rehearsal…y’know, because she’s a very supportive girlfriend.  Jack says that it’s for “band members only” and comes up with a TOTALLY believable (/s) reason for why that is.*  

(*Didn’t you just say that your friends can bring as many cute girls as they want?  Why didn’t you say no to them, Jack?  Sounds pretty fishy to me.  Let’s count this as another red flag, since it sounds like he’s embarrassed to be around his girlfriend because she’s plus-sized.  It also sounds like he’s trying to get with one of his friends’ girlfriends or something because they “fit his standards more”.  Like, what the fuck are you with her for?  Oh yeah, it’s because she’s rich, isn’t it?  Wait…IT IS.  I’m not talking about any sugar daddy/mama situation where there’s nothing sexual or romantic going on, or any findom stuff.  That’s different.  This girl loves her boyfriend and he uses her for her money.)

Moving on.

Jack’s friends gush over how he’s dating a rich girl who buys him anything he wants.  Save this for later, HE ADMITS THAT’S THE REASON WHY HE DATES ANGELA.  Not because she’s supportive, loving, respects his boundaries, he finds her attractive, none of that.*  Jack is only dating Angela because she’s rich.  He’s using her for her money because that’s the only thing that’s worth anything to him.  Angela pretty much has to buy Jack’s love or ANY affection from him.  

*(We got ANOTHER red flag for obvious reasons.)

He calls Angela his “little piggy bank”, which is frankly disgusting to say and horrifying.  The audacity of this guy.  He has nothing but the AUDACITY to treat his girlfriend like a walking bank.  Before anyone gets on to me about how there are plenty of girls who treat their significant others like walking banks as well, I’m very well aware, and they’re just as disgusting.  Girls who are with their SO’s for their money get called out a lot more than guys do.  One of his friends even brings up that he wonders why Jack chose to date Angela, of all people.  Jack goes on the spiel of “when our band blows up and we get paid, she’s gone”, you get the idea.  Because rock stars only date the “hottest babes”, right?  I’m pretty sure that there are plenty of rock stars out there who are married to their significant others because they actually love them.

One of his friends makes a comment about how Jack can get pretty much any girl now, but Jack says that it’s “too small of a school” and Angela would find out.* 

*(Really, dude?  REALLY NOW?  THAT’S your reason?  Wooowww.  You know, I can’t actually say I’m surprised about how much of a fucking douchebag you are.)

He even makes a comment that Angela is “more loaded than the nachos she eats”.  

The drummer asks if Jack’s girlfriend could get him some new drumsticks (which isn’t too bad, as drumsticks aren’t that expensive most of the time), the bassist asks for a Rickenbacker bass (these are badass basses, but this brand is NOT cheap), and the keyboardist asks for new keyboards (keyboards aren’t that cheap either).  The drummer gets greedy and asks for a brand new drum set.  Jack makes a WHOLE ASS LIST to send to Angela.*  He even admits that it’s kind of pushing it.

(*WE GOT ANOTHER RED FLAG. I don't think I need to explain.)

They’re sitting at lunch with a flier for a rock music festival they want to go to that’s implied to be out of town.  The drummer happens to know the stage manager for this event, but they’d still have to pay for tickets for the event, flight tickets, room and board, the works.  Their alternative option would be to drive up there using Jack’s car.  Jack says that he needs new tires for his car and he wouldn’t be able to pay for his ticket after paying for tires on his car.  That’s pretty reasonable at first, since tires are a necessity for your car, but he then says that he plans on asking Angela to pay for his ticket.  One of his friends suggests that he ask her to pay for their tickets too.

Angela comes over with Lisa.  Jack is all peaches and cream and pulls out chairs for them like the “gentleman” he is, and has them join him and The Boys™️.*  Angela asks how rehearsal was.  They say it was good, Jack says that he ‘wishes she could’ve been there”, and these two girls (Giselle and Stacy) come up and gush about how great rehearsal was.  Angela is rightfully suspicious and calls her boyfriend out on lying to her. (As she should.)  Jack says that Giselle and Stacy are in the band, he looks to his friends to back him up (I’m pretty sure they know he’s lying), and one of them says they’re the backup singers.

(*Jack changes his tune when his girlfriend is present and acts all charming around her.)

Lisa sees the flier on the table and asks them about the music festival.  The drummer and the keyboardist talk about how they want to go because there’s going to be a lot of people in the industry and they want to see if one of them will take them under their wing, essentially.  Angela says it looks fun and that they should all go.

Jack tries to convince Angela that she wouldn’t want to go to a rock festival because she’d be bored.  He then tells her to look at the names of the bands and asks if she could name any of their songs.*

(*You’re gonna pull the whole metal fanboy when he sees a girl at a metal concert trope bullshit?  Really?) 

Angela says no, but she doesn’t care because she wants to go to a festival with her boyfriend.  Jack pulls the “band members only” shit AGAIN because Angela definitely believed it the first time, but he “promises” that he’ll take her on their own trip.  She agrees.  Jack then asks if Angela could buy them their tickets to this festival.

Lisa sees right through the bullshit, as she should.  She discourages Angela from doing that, Jack goes on the whole “we’ll pay her back” bullshit (when that’s a flat-out lie and we all know it), and says it’s like a short-term loan.*  Angela is put on the spot and her boyfriend manipulates her into saying yes.  Lisa says that Angela should think this over.

(*Hmmm....I wonder how many "short-term loans" you took from Angela?)

Fast forward to the mechanic shop.  Jack finds out that he not only needs new tires, but a new motor as well.  He doesn’t have that kind of money, like we’ve collectively established.  Guess who Jack calls? ANGELA.  She picks up, says hi, and that they (Angela and Lisa) were just talking about Jack.

Oh, and here’s the real kicker!  She got the tickets.  Jack says she’s the best.  Angela asks if Jack is at a mechanic shop, which he says he is.  He says he’s in a bind and needs another favor from her (keyword for he wants more money from her), and he asks if Angela could go into another room so they could talk alone, or if Lisa could go into another room.  Angela is confused, says no, and that Lisa and her talk about everything.  Jack tells Angela that fixing his car is gonna cost four grand.  Before he could ask Angela for money, Lisa tells her to not give Jack any more money. She tells Jack that Angela’s not gonna give him any money for his car. 

Jack gets defensive and tells Angela to go into another room so they could talk.  Angela relents and goes into another room.

THAT FACE is what Jack continuously puts on when he doesn’t get what he wants. He uses this poor excuse for puppy dog eyes to manipulate his girlfriend. He does this EVERY SINGLE TIME he interacts with Angela. Jack doesn’t treat Angela like she’s a person.

When they’re finally “alone”, Jack says that he doesn’t like Lisa…and Angela says that Lisa is only trying to look out for her (like any good friend does).  Jack questions his girlfriend about why Lisa “needs to look out for Angela with her boyfriend”.  Angela says Lisa thinks Jack is using her for her money, and after Jack gets what he wants, he’s gonna leave.  Jack tries to deny it and he says he thinks Lisa is just jealous.  Angela shuts that down and Jack tries to love bomb her, says that Lisa is trying to ruin their relationship, and tries to paint Lisa in a bad light.*  He’s using this tactic to manipulate Angela.  Concerned for her boyfriend, she asks him what he needs.  Jack comes clean and says he needs to borrow four grand.  Angela wants to confirm that Lisa was right.  Jack denies it AGAIN, twists what Lisa said, and continues to manipulate his girlfriend.

(*Jack attempting to make Angela think Lisa is a bad person in order to isolate her and make her believe that Jack's the only person she can trust.)

Angela communicates her feelings about it.  She says that Jack keeps asking her for money and it’s starting to hurt her feelings.  Jack makes Angela feel like shit for how she feels, brings up that he’s a man having to ask his girlfriend for money, “when I blow up”, blah blah blah.  He hesitantly says that he loves her.  With Angela being beat down for having feelings, she gives in and tells Jack that she’ll let him borrow the money.

Jack tells the mechanic that he has the money now and they can start the work on the car.  The mechanic asks how he managed to pull that off.  Jack said he just lied to his girlfriend about loving her.  He straight-up admitted to manipulating this poor girl to the guys at the mechanic shop and the shit-eating grin lets you know he’s fucking proud of it. 

Jack invites Angela out for dinner.

When Angela gets off the phone, Lisa knows something went on, but Angela says not to worry about her and that Jack “loves her”.  Lisa says that he doesn’t love her and to learn the difference between being loved and being used.  Angela is in denial, clear as day.  Lisa is trying to get through to her friend because she cares about her.  When that fails because Angela is obviously being manipulated, Lisa walks out.

Then we cut to the restaurant, where Jack and Angela are eating.  The waitress comes over to pick up the valet ticket, and Jack is very obviously checking out this other girl right in front of his girlfriend.  Angela says dinner was delicious, Jack says she crushed that pasta, and he offers Angela his leftovers.  She declines because she’s full.  Jack even tries to put his leftovers on her plate because “he knows she loves to eat”.  Angela keeps telling him no, but he keeps putting his leftovers on her plate until she flat-out tells him to stop.  Jack gets offended by her tone.  Angela is appreciative that they got to go out together.  The waitress comes back with the check, Jack is checking her out AGAIN, and the waitress compliments Angela, which she just lights up over.

Jack makes a comment that the waitress wants a big tip.  Angela adds that the waitress probably meant it.  She said that the waitress, a complete stranger, complimented her outfit, but Jack, her boyfriend, didn’t.  Jack gets defensive like usual.  Angela corrects him.  She says that Jack actually said, “Wow, that dress comes in your size?  That’s awesome.” Jack apologizes, but we all know it ain’t sincere. 

He hesitates to say that Angela looks beautiful.  Jack says he’ll pay the bill and tries to shoo off Angela with the valet ticket to her car.  Angela is not even five steps away from the booth when Jack hides his credit card, lies about forgetting it, and Angela reluctantly forks over her card.

When Angela leaves to go pick up her car, Jack flirts with the waitress by saying he’s in a band, they’re pretty good, and she should watch them perform sometime.  The waitress says that she doesn’t think his girlfriend would like that.  Jack says his girlfriend is “just a friend”*, the waitress politely calls him out on it, and Jack says that he’s more interested in girls like the waitress.  He tries to invite her to a music festival and that he’ll try to get her a ticket.

(*Lying about being in a relationship with Angela when she's not in the room to a complete stranger.)

We’re at the final scene at school once more.  We see Lisa at her locker while Jack and company are walking down the hallway, talking about what to add to “the list”.  Their greed is getting the best of them, that’s for sure.  Lisa is there hearing all of this, by the way.  They even ask for a brand new amp.  Jack pulls out his phone to show the list that is titled “The Convince Angela To Buy Us Stuff List”, his keyboardist laughs, and then they’re all caught red-handed by Lisa who calls them all out.  Jack tries to delete the evidence to spite Lisa, which Lisa isn’t phased by.  He even says he’ll “spin it like Lisa’s jealousy is getting the best of her again”, and Angela walks in to FINALLY call Jack out on his bullshit.  She realizes that she should’ve listened to Lisa and apologizes to her.  Lisa tries to tell her friend what she saw, Jack tried to shut it down, but Angela continues to call him out.  Angela reveals that she forgot the valet ticket, and when she walked back in, she saw Jack getting the waitress’s phone number.  She reveals all the lies that Jack told her, including about band practice (she had talked to Stacy about it and she didn’t know what she was talking about).  She went down to the mechanic shop to tell them she wasn’t going to be paying for Jack’s car.  The mechanic told her that Jack told him he had her eating out of the palm of his hand.  Jack tries to convince her that she’s wrong, but Angela puts her foot down.  He even whines about his car and the festival.  Angela upgraded the tickets to VIP and that she’s bringing Lisa, Stacy, and Giselle to the festival instead of Jack and company.

Jack goes to the mechanic to try to get them to not work on his car when they already swapped out his motor.  His dumbass asked if they could switch the motor back out, then if he could get his guitar out of the trunk.  The mechanic shut all that down real quick.  The video ends there.

Here are my thoughts on the video, other than the fact that we've collectively established that it's a piss poor video:

Why do you have Jack's friends acting like him treating Angela like shit TO HER FACE and BEHIND HER BACK is just another average day? They never called each other out on being pricks. Not ONCE. Why is that, Dhar Mann?

Oh yes, that’s right, THEY'RE IN ON IT TOO. They laugh about bashing a girl who has done NOTHING to them and they get JUST as greedy as Jack. They're bystanders at best and enablers at worst.

How the fuck are you gonna paint a toxic relationship like it's normal and get away with it? Being in a relationship like that IS NOT NORMAL. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO BE SELLING TO PEOPLE. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YOUR AUDIENCE CONSISTS OF MOSTLY CHILDREN!

Do you think toxic relationships are okay? Do you think that people should stay with their significant others, even if the environment is extremely dangerous, because you think that their significant others can automatically change in a snap? Hate to break it to you, it doesn't work like that.

I know damn well MOST of your videos on this subject also involve children, and you ALWAYS have the victim (usually a woman) stay with her abuser (usually a man) "for the kids". MOTHERFUCKER, A LOT OF TIMES, IT'S BETTER TO HAVE THE PARENTS BE DIVORCED THAN TO HAVE THEM TOGETHER "FOR THE KIDS". I WOULD KNOW. I'VE BEEN A WITNESS TO THIS KIND OF THING.

Dhar Mann, you have two kids. DAUGHTERS, to be exact. Even if you had sons, I'd still be grilling your ass because it's not okay. What example are you setting for them with videos like this? Are people like Jack the kind of people you want your daughters to be in a relationship with?

You always manage to sprinkle in toxic relationships just for shits and giggles and you STILL manage to fuck up "writing" them. YOU "WRITE" WOMEN GETTING ABUSED BY THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS LIKE IT'S NORMAL.

The way you "write" women, Dhar Mann, is misogynistic, sexist, and disgusting. ESPECIALLY when it comes to BIWOC, AAPI, plus-size, disabled, and mentally ill women. (I'd add women in the LGBT community too, but apparently we don't exist in the Dhar Mann Lore™️.) You "write" them HORRIBLY. Most of the women you "write" have no personality or anything unique about them that doesn't involve being a "gold digger", a "trophy wife", a "Karen", a "pick-me girl", dependent on her significant other(s) (USUALLY A MAN, SINCE APPARENTLY WOMEN WHO AREN'T CISHET DON'T EXIST IN THE DHAR MANN LORE™️), a "spoiled brat", a racist stereotype, I COULD GO ON ALL DAY.

I'm gonna stop here for now. I don't want to actually work myself up like that.

Dhar Mann, with all due disrespect, FUCK YOU.

[mellometal]

if you had to make a ranking of the 'top 10 worst dhar mann videos' which videos would you put in that list

Oh, shit....that's a tough one. They're all shit, but I'll give you an idea of which subjects I'd rank them at.

The videos about gamers, bullying in school over really stupid shit like if a kid loves their mom, the sugar daddy shit, and anything like that don't really piss me off, surprisingly. They annoy me more than anything. They're just the same video in different fonts. They'd rank pretty low.

The videos that involve child abuse, homelessness, toxic relationships, and other subjects along those lines are subjects that are kind of difficult for me to talk about. I have experienced some of those things is why. They'd be in the middle, maybe some ranking pretty high.

The videos about racism, xenophobia, fatphobia, ableism, and just overall toxic positivity and whatnot would rank pretty fucking high on that list. Some would be at the top of the list. Especially the videos that are "based on true stories". I feel like the suffering of real people is being exploited for Dhar Mann's gain in those videos. This is especially the case, in my opinion, where children are involved. Children who aren't even old enough to be on social media, which are MOST of the child actors in his videos.