#dhar mann be getting those brownie points™️

[mellometal]

Ah, shit…here we go again. 

These videos are getting pumped out daily and they’re even longer, so y’know…longer videos = longer scripts for me to write!  So that’s fun. /s If you want to know why it takes me longer to pump these posts out, that’s why.  Plus this man physically makes me angry.

This video is one that I’m gonna have a field day with, since I’m a lesbian and I want to get married to my future wife someday.  Would I go all-out with traditional wedding stuff?  Probably not too much.  On my end, at least.  If my future wife wanted parts of our wedding to be traditional, I’d be more than happy to help her out on her end if she needed it.  I mean, she has just as much say in the wedding as I do.  That’s just wishful thinking.  

Given how things are going in the United States at the moment, I’m scared that I won’t be able to marry another woman, let alone be openly lesbian.  Despite me being openly lesbian for six years.  I’ve got a plethora of fears about this topic alone, but my fears aren’t important.  The fears BIPOC in the LGBT community have are far more important than my own.  I know, fully understand, and acknowledge that I have an easier time being part of the LGBT community because I’m white, I don’t live in any third-world country where being LGBT is punishable by death, and I live in a country where being LGBT is widely accepted.  If it wasn’t for black LGBT pioneers like Lucy Hicks Anderson, Gladys Bentley, Bayard Rustin, Pauli Murray, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Audre Lorde, to name a few, being the ones who first fought for our rights in the United States, we wouldn’t be able to get married, let alone be openly LGBT in the United States.  Drag queens, drag kings, feminists, sex workers, poets, and politicians in the LGBT community fought for our rights!  The voices of BIPOC in the LGBT community need to be amplified.  (I’m not saying that for brownie points or anything.  I truly believe this and I stand by it.  I honestly believe that LGBT history should be taught more in schools because people in the LGBT community did make huge impacts in history.  There’s a lot of history that we’re never taught in school and have to learn on our own.)  I cannot imagine how difficult it is for BIPOC in the LGBT community to be openly LGBT.

For anyone who’s not aware of other events going on in the United States, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and they’re going to be looking over contraceptives, same-sex marriage, and same-sex relationships in the fall, if I remember correctly.  They’re attacking the Indian Child Welfare Act, which is there to keep indigenous children with their indigenous families instead of having them taken away and put in white foster homes.  At least that’s my understanding of that law.  I don’t believe indigenous children should be taken away from their families at all.  The Supreme Court is full of conservative, Republican, pro-forced birth, bigoted, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, Trump supporting cishets.  I’ve been horrified about the state of my country for years prior to these current events.  I’ve expressed fear of Roe v. Wade getting overturned by the Supreme Court even before they announced that they were looking at this case that the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg fought for the Supreme Court to uphold.  I’m disgusted by the state of my country.  I have been for a long time.  I’ve been disgusted by how my country treats BIPOC, disabled people, the LGBT community, poor people, homeless people, mentally ill people, immigrants, and basically anyone who’s not a Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet man.  I’m even more terrified to leave my house than I was before, despite my state still upholding the right for AFAB people to choose.  How the fuck is the United States of America “The land of the free, home of the brave”?  Can someone PLEASE explain that to me?  Oh yeah, America is “The Land Of The Free, Home Of The Brave” to ONLY Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet men!  I forgot. /s (DISCLAIMER:  I know that not every single Christian is like this.  I’m also aware that most Christians don’t tolerate this behavior.  I’m referring to extremists, like what makes up the vast majority of the Supreme Court.  I’m not trying to bash Christians.)

You’re here for the review, not for me ranting about how Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishets are fucking up the United States.  Let’s get on with the review before I pop a blood vessel.  Which I might end up doing anyway because this man makes my blood boil.

The video starts off with an old man named Trey and a young woman named Kristen (presumably a boss and an employee) on what looks to be their lunch break and they’re about to sit at a table.  Apparently they work at a cupcake shop, because the boss says that they can finish decorating cupcakes when they get back from their break.  Trey tells Kristen that he got another call about some kid’s birthday party.  Kristen obliges.  Trey looks over at a bridal shop to see a woman being fitted for a wedding dress and she’s showing off to her soon-to-be wife.  He tells his employee that’s “what’s wrong with the world”.  Kristen is confused.  Trey says that two women getting married is disgusting.  Kristen is visibly uncomfortable and wants to say something, but she doesn’t say anything.  Her boss gets up and walks over to the bridal shop.

Trey acts like a total Kevin in the bridal shop (which he shouldn’t have been in, by the way…there’s a little thing called minding your own business).  One of the workers there asks if she can help him.  The boss says he’s got a business and he “couldn’t help but notice what was going on there” (AGAIN, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS).  The worker shows off the happy wives-to-be and says, “Aren’t they the most stunning couple you’ve ever seen?”

We see the wives-to-be and something about it rubs me the wrong way.  NOT because Dhar Mann put lesbians in. That’s not my issue whatsoever.  It’s because Dhar Mann just threw in two stereotypical lesbians that present as traditionally butch and femme and did absolutely NOTHING with them.  All he did was make them look like a traditionally straight couple.  As far as appearance goes.

Is there anything wrong with lesbian couples that present traditionally butch and femme, or lesbians in general who present as traditionally butch or femme?  Of course not!  I love both butch and femme lesbians! Butch/femme lesbian couples are adorable!  I never said there was anything wrong with it, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. /lighthearted   Just hear me out for a second, please.

The way that they’re portrayed is to appear like a traditional straight married couple (bride and groom) and they’re put into the traditional gender roles of straight couples.  It looks like there was absolutely no thought put into the lesbian couple and Dhar Mann just went with what suited him, which is cis heteronormative bullshit.  He went with the default and pretty much used them for his trauma porn to soothe his savior complex.  Like, not every single lesbian couple presents as traditionally butch and femme.  Of course Dhar Mann wouldn’t know that.  It looks like he’s never met a lesbian before in his life, let alone ever SEEN one.  The writing on his part is a slap in the face to lesbian couples that have both butch lesbians, lesbian couples that have both femme lesbians, to lesbian couples that have both futch lesbians, and lesbian couples that have any combination of these.  Seeing lesbians that don’t present as completely butch or completely femme (futch lesbians) in media isn’t very common.  The only ones I can think of are Haruka and Michiru (I mean, to me, neither of them present as completely butch or femme, though Haruka is supposed to present as butch and Michiru is supposed to present as femme), the Sailor Stars, Garnet, and Pearl.  That’s pretty much it.  Lapis and Peridot arguably would fit that category too, since neither of them present as completely butch or femme.  At least to me.  Lesbians don’t have a specific “look”.  But you’re too far up your own ass to see that, aren’t you, Dhar Dhar Binks?

I’m guessing he finally put lesbians into the Dhar Mann Lore™ for brownie points and he wanted to be hip with the lesbians.  Hey, Dhar, I’m a lesbian and I absolutely hate you!  Here’s a challenge for you, Dhar:  QUIT FUCKING STEREOTYPING MINORITIES!  ACTUALLY LISTEN TO MINORITIES FOR ONCE!  STOP THROWING IN CHARACTERS THAT ARE PART OF OPPRESSED AND MARGINALIZED GROUPS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF DOING IT!  THE SO-CALLED “REPRESENTATION” IN YOUR VIDEOS IS FULL OF NOTHING BUT STEREOTYPES, TRAUMA PORN, AND “INSPIRATION” PORN.  YOU REGURGITATE THAT GARBAGE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

You’re not changing lives, like you claim.  You’re doing nothing but pissing people off.  You’re spreading misinformation about things you know NOTHING about and will NEVER begin to understand.  You refuse to properly educate yourself about these things because you just want to be seen as the “all-knowing good guy with good vibes all around” or whatever the hell your agenda is now.  I can’t tell anymore because you and your sorry excuse for a savior complex thoroughly disgust me.  Your videos as a whole are ignorant, mediocre, flat-out stupid, and unrealistic at best.  On the flip side, your videos are offensive, bigoted, insincere, arrogant, harmful, unhelpful, and even dangerous at worst.  The vast majority of people who watch your videos and unironically like them are young, impressionable children who don’t know any better and people who spew the same rhetoric you do, take your word as gospel, refuse to educate themselves on topics you know fuck-all about, and they refuse to acknowledge the harm that your videos cause to real people.  Or they just don’t care!  MOVING ON.

Trey continues on his homophobic rant that a gay (JUST SAY “LESBIAN” IN THIS CONTEXT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY…IT’S NOT A BAD WORD) couple shouldn’t be going out buying clothes at a bridal store.  The lady sporting the tux (Alex) FINALLY steps in to call Trey out on his bullshit.  Trey then tries to clap back by saying that Alex looks ridiculous, she should be ashamed of herself, women don’t wear tuxedos, and they shouldn’t be “bringing their pride parade into the mall” and “scaring away his customers” (dude, you got bigger problems at that point).

Kristen steps in, tells Trey to stop, and she says that the couple is just trying to shop like everyone else.  Trey says that they’re “not like everyone else”.  Only then does the worker in the bridal shop say that Trey needs to leave.  Trey is going on a rant still, and the worker threatens to call security.  He drags Kristen along with him.  Kristen apologizes for her boss’s behavior and thinks that they look great.

Cut to the bakery.  Kristen’s working.  A drag queen named Kyla Velvet walks into the bakery.  Kristen immediately recognizes her and says that she’s a huge fan.  Kyla says that she’s looking for someone to cater for her afterparty and she’s looking at all the baked goods.  She says that the boss must spend a lot of time on the baked goods on display, but Kristen says that she’s the one who made them herself.  Kyla is in disbelief, praises Kristen, and says that she should open up her own shop.

Trey walks back in, berates the drag queen, calls her a freak, and says that he “doesn’t serve their kind”.  Kristen jumps to defend Kyla, but Kyla stops her.  Kyla tells Trey off, rightfully so.  Trey obviously doesn’t like this and feels threatened, so he tells Kyla to leave. 

 

We see Alex and her soon-to-be wife at the bakery picking up an order.  They’re both looking at all the baked goods and how good they look.  Trey spots them and says he recognizes them.  Alex’s soon-to-be wife confronts Trey for interrupting their (Alex’s and her own) fitting.  One of Trey’s employees calls out the order for Alex, he’s about to hand it to her, but Trey stops him.  He refuses service to Alex and her soon-to-be wife.  Both of these ladies are rightfully pissed.  Kristen stands up for the couple and tells Trey that he needs to give them their order because they paid for it.  Trey refuses, Kristen tells him that it’s not the 1950’s anymore, and the couple says that they’d be willing to take their business elsewhere.  Trey takes the box of cupcakes and shoves them in the trash can, crushing them in the process, to everyone’s horror.  Alex asks what’s wrong with Trey, and he says that it’s THEM (Alex and her soon-to-be wife) that are the problem.

The couple then leaves.  After they leave, Trey berates Kristen for just serving customers. Just doing her job.  She stands up to her boss by telling him that how he treated them wasn’t okay.  Trey got his balls in a twist because A LESBIAN COUPLE BOUGHT BRIDAL CUPCAKES FOR THEIR WEDDING!  OH, THE FUCKING HORROR! /s How can Trey EVER recover from this? /s He then asks if Kristen is on his side or the couple’s side.  She says she’s on the couple’s side and that there’s nothing wrong with being part of the LGBT community.  Trey’s in disbelief, but here’s the twist: KRISTEN IS PART OF THE COMMUNITY!  WHAT A TWIST. She pulls a Clark Kent and reveals a shirt with a RAINBOW ON IT! *gasp* And it says “BE YOU” in bold letters!  When Trey sees Kristen’s shirt, he tells her to take it off and threatens to fire her if she doesn’t.  Kristen says that Trey can’t fire her because she quits and she regrets not doing it a long time ago.  She says that she’s gonna open up her own bakery and become more successful than Trey.

Okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to rain on this girl’s parade whatsoever.  This is a recurring theme in Dhar Dhar Binks’s videos.  Wanting to open up your own business is a great thing.  I’m not knocking anyone for doing that.  However, there’s a lot of time, work, dedication, and money involved with creating a business and opening up a business.  Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you have a business degree or at least experience with running a business, money, and proper licensing?  I don’t know, there’s a lot of things that just don’t add up.  I don’t know about you, but opening up a business with no business degree, no experience in the business industry, no money (having to resort to taking out loans), and no proper licensing seems risky.  What do I expect from a Dhar Mann video though?  Realism?  Fuck that noise!  Everything’s all peachy keen in the Dhar Mann Lore™! /s

Then we have a montage of Kristen running her own bakery, everything’s going great, and then it goes to shit real quick. BECAUSE SHE CLEARLY DOESN’T KNOW HOW MARKETING WORKS. Not saying that’s a bad thing, of course.  She eventually gave up and went to look for another job…at the bridal shop.  The lady looks at Kristen’s resume, says they’re not hiring, and Kristen goes out to sit on the bench.  Trey walks out, sees her, and decides to just kick her while she’s down (metaphorically speaking).  She says that she’d rather be homeless than to work for Trey ever again.  Trey’s mocking her the whole time.  He says that when she becomes homeless, he’ll find her and feed her a cupcake so she doesn’t starve to death.  What a fucking pig.

Kyla walks in and sees Kristen.  She tells Kyla that she doesn’t work at that bakery anymore.  Kyla is relieved and says that Trey was a monster.  Kristen apologizes for how Kyla was treated again (though TREY should be apologizing, but he’s a big macho man who can’t admit when he’s wrong), and that she should’ve stood up for Kyla more since they’re both part of the same community.  Kyla tells Kristen not to apologize and she did what she could.  She asks if Kristen started her own business.  Kristen says she did but it already failed, so she’s looking for a job.  Kyla asks her how she marketed her business.  Kristen says she posted on Facebook, Instagram, and told her friends and family.  Kyla asks about target marketing or focusing on any specific niche, which Kristen obviously didn’t know what she meant at all.  She says that people in the community love to support LGBT owners because not everyone is very kind to them in other businesses, and suggests that Kristen sells to the LGBT community.

Of course, Kristen never thought about that and is unsure if that would work.  With Kyla’s words of encouragement, Kristen says she’ll try again.  Kyla says she needs someone to cater a party anyway, so it’s perfect timing.  Kristen tries again and she gets so many customers that Pewdiepie’s got some stiff competition.

Trey’s business is going down, like how it usually goes in the Dhar Mann Lore, and he gets what’s coming to him.  Kristen gets successful enough to rent out a bakery.  It’s Trey’s bakery, ironically enough.  He’s not having it. Trey blames his business going downhill on THE ECONOMY instead of his abhorrent behavior that drove away customers.  He blames Kristen for all his bad reviews, which she had no part of.  All her customers pull up and confront Trey so bad he leaves!  And they all live happily ever after…whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, this video made me angry.  It’s cringe.  It’s offensive.  It’s bigoted.  It’s riddled with stereotypes.  One gripe I’ve had for a while, WHY do you wait until the middle of the fucking video to even say the characters’ names?  DO IT AT THE BEGINNING.  FUCK. Just because you write it down on paper, NOBODY CAN SEE THAT IN THE FINISHED PRODUCT.

Sorry this is out so late. Hopefully this huge post makes up for it.