#stop stabbing my heart.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Breaking Bread, and Spilling Soup.

[Bonus art]

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[padfootastic]

Hello, I'm here to annoy you again — sorry — but I was just hit with the angst potential that is Sirius and Harry's remembrance of James and Lily? I mean, Sirius is the only one who tells Harry about them. The way they carry this impossible truth: they are the only ones who remember Jily as people, not as myths.

The rest of the wizarding world remembers James and Lily as symbols—heroes, martyrs, icons to admire or resent. They’re remembered as ideals, not as the messy, breathing, aching humans they were. A name on a gravestone. A tragedy in a history book. A story told to children about love and war and sacrifice.

But for Sirius and Harry, it’s so much more. It’s visceral. For Sirius, it’s too much to bear—he remembers everything. The exact shade of James’s laugh, the way Lily’s hair would curl in the rain, the quiet moments of their lives that no one else bothered to see. He remembers their humanity so vividly that it’s like they’re standing just behind him, a breath away, even though they’re not.

And then there’s Harry, who remembers too little and yet everything all at once. The sound of screams that live in his bones. The flash of green light behind his eyelids. The phantom arms of a mother holding him. Lily, take Harry and run! I'll hold him off - For him, James and Lily are fragments—bits and pieces sharp enough to cut but never enough to hold.

Together, they are the only ones who don’t have the luxury of forgetting that James and Lily were real. They were people. They were imperfect, messy, alive. And they loved so fiercely that it burned into Sirius and Harry in ways they’ll never fully understand.

And, of course, the ache—the ache—comes from the unbearable, unrelenting love Harry and Sirius carry for them. Love so overwhelming that calling it love feels almost insulting, too small a word for something that consumes and reshapes them. For how can you not love people who were made of love? Who lived it so deeply it echoed through every corner of their lives, their laughter, their choices, their sacrifices?

What is life, what is existence, if not to love them? To feel their absence as a hollowing out, a void carved into the center of everything? It is love, yes, but it is also not nearly enough love. It is never enough, because no love could ever fill the space James and Lily left behind.

And that’s what makes it worse than grief. Worse than the neat, distant mourning the world expects of them. This isn’t grief that ends or softens; this is something else, something more jagged and raw, because it is love that keeps living even when the people it belongs to are gone. It’s not the absence of them that hurts the most—it’s the presence of love that has nowhere to go. It is love that feels endless and powerless, and oh, how it hurts. Far more than grief, far more than the empty platitudes of strangers who never understood James and Lily at all.

(Well, that turned out longer than I expected. I’ll go see myself out.)

this!!! is so painfully real!!!! grief is so deeply woven into both their characters u cannot separate it and u put it SO well. it’s so much more than grief, as well. ‘the presence of love that has nowhere to go’ is just. so. 🥺🥺🥺🥺

these two boys, stuck in the past, trying to move forward but unable to without dragging their skeletons with them. even at his moment of death, harry only wanted his parents with him. they’re never far from it.

and i don’t think it’s exemplified better in any way than the halloween feats at hogwarts. everyone celebrates a holiday, or the day when voldemort was vanquished but no one realises it’s also when james and lily died. tbf, even harry in the books doesn’t dwell on it but that’s due to the ridiculous amount of plots going on that day. take that away and you’re left with a boy who has to reckon w the fact that his parents death anniversary is universally celebrated and he’s congratulated for it. that has to hurt so much.

[kitocrystal]

“His final wish”

[handlingwelcome]

Damian wearing a shemagh cause I said so and Damian would never let anyone stop him from wearing it despite the ‘security risk it poses to your identity, Damian please you can literally wear it any other time-’ if anybody found out his identity he could just kill them and that number would go back down to zero, duh

[eternal-moss]

Falin panel in my style

:D I suddenly felt compelled to redraw the panel. Miss Touden you are my muse

Lineart + original panel under the cut

I mean, look at the improvement from one drawing to the other, Ryoko Kui’s art makes me think hard about anatomy + physics and it feels really good to draw :3

\/ original panel!

[ff7boi]

can you imagine being tifa and thinking you're the only one who survived the attack sephiroth did to your hometown and one day you suddenly run into a childhood friend who also survived but something is clearly wrong so you take him back with you and offer him a job and place to stay but something is still so wrong but you don't say anything, you're to scared to say something about that night and the few times you do, this friend breaks into headaches and just mumbles random cryptic stuff so you're afraid to push further and you go on this whole journey and you keep watching your friend just break and break and realize that not even shinra could allow you to have this childhood friend, this last piece connected to your past, because even they went as far as to break him as well

What if I exploded guys

[radiantmists]

man especially having now read the flashbacks i think about how hard xie lian always tries and how many people have told him that he tries too hard, that he never should have bothered and that doing so made things worse, or even more commonly just hating on him for not fixing things or being arrogant or whatever they think his problem is. and some of those people are probably even coming from caring places!

but before hua cheng, had anyone ever sat next to him and said, you tried and that's good, it matters that you cared, you did your best. nobody could have done better than you.

how badly must xie lian have needed that?

[tmblrkid]

"bad" news: my cat is staying at the vet's for a bit and i don't know how to process it! i am incredibly suicidal and even more impulsive!

good news: just snagged the sickest fetlife username ever oh my god

[remyfire]

idk if you're in the mood for legal arguments presented against the Writer Agonies but nonetheless i offer before the court exhibit a: i was keeling over and dying in smut4smut and was ONLY saved by that extremely hot margaret/trapper can't help fucking in a hotel fic that was a berlitz master class in smut <3 you are helping me LEARN and GROW as an ARTISTE

😭😭😭 That's an extremely compelling argument that I have no evidence to refute with because you wrote such an incredibly hot smut4smut fic to the point that I have reread it I think four times at this point, and while I think that 99% of that was just you being an amazing writer and the special sauce that only you could bring to that fic, I will be honored if I inspired or gave you the drive to keep pushing to finish it up. You knocked it out of the park!!

[river-angels]

i swear my body has wanted me dead since the day i was born cus WHAT is this thing FREAKING OUT SO MUCH FOR !!!!!!

[toontownportraits]

i don't get a choice in the matter / why would i? it's only the death of me

[bidaryl]

caught up on daryl dixon and at the part where they were fighting in the tunnels my sister was like. where are they and why are there so many skulls? and i was like idk i think they're in the catacombs. and she was like. what words are you saying to me right now? and i said. catacombs? like from history? and she was like. must've missed that lesson. so i said hamish and andy had a moment there in their euro gap year and she was like. i'm sure they did. still don't know it. then i was like well it's basically the statue liberty of paris. and she was like. melia i'm not stupid. that's the eiffel tower. and i was like. i reallsed that as i said it but i was already committed. anyway we're both stupid

[biohazard-inevitable]

I think I’m going to explode I can only babysit so many anxiety spirals at a time universe why do you test me so

[mymelodyisme]

3, 7 and 14 for the asks!! 😍

😭 I should have asked you more myself!! But I saw handwriting and went “I MUST have her write some of her FIC-“

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

So 🤔 this is kinda tricky cause we hardly rewatch films in my house cause 🙄 my mom and dad only like watching things once usually. But but but I DO share in common with my mom that I love rewatching:

Encanto

Tangled

Turning Red

I’ve certainly annoying my sisters recently with Turning Red 🤣 it’s really good background noise and fu bro watch. Encanto cause it’s good!!! But also I’m latina and also feel not special like Mirabel 😭 my sister first time we watched the movie said Luisa reminded her of me tho thanks for clocking the older sister energy I guess. And tangled because Rapunzel my favorite Disney princess ever 🥺

7. what scares you the most and why?

Oof here’s where we get ✨depressing✨

First do we mean spine tingling or deep rooted fear that stabs at your heart till it aches and pours out? Cause I could easily say something concrete like cockroaches (they make me cry and shake so quick) but if we’re talking in ouchie heart ache type of scares it’s becoming unwanted and an inconvenience 😭 I’ve felt like that a few times in my life and heck I’ve been feeling it especially hard lately. Just gotta take a deep sigh and keep going cause I’m gonna like me enough to want me to stay! Ya know! Also I’m scared of being in absolute darkness and I’m scared to be out at night :)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

😭 kinda related back to the other question Owie, this one seems kind of ridiculous but it’s the simplest and most heart breaking for me. All of my wants have this same thing in common but this one is the most recent so ridiculous or not here you are.

Going for a walk.

I’m, frankly, scared of the unwanted attention that comes with being a fat person in public 😭 I mean realistically I know no one’s actually looking at me but I can’t help but feel they are. In PE I was always last to finish and the kids who were done early would cheer me on and they meant well but it always made me cry. For a bit I got a little braver about walking on the treadmill at the university but I’m out now and we don’t have one at home. I’ve been wanting to go walking to better myself because 🥺 I could be better but I’m really scared of going to the park. It’s on the other side of town, it’s bigger with more shade, but it’s next to our high school and there’s a bunch of houses and there’s no good time for me to talk out of my day to do this and I’d go for a walk but we don’t have sidewalks where I live and I don’t want to walk in the road and block someone from their driveway. It’s all excuses I guess but all in all I’m afraid of existing in other people’s spaces.

But but to end on something positive!!! 🤔 um I’m really proud of the way I’ve conquered my fear of driving. I’m still afraid of that and going long distances to places I don’t know but now I feel that I just gotta go it and I’ll get used to it. It helps that my car is cute and I have stuffed animals 😄 I actually don’t hate driving as much anymore I like going around town with the windows down letting the air mess up my hair.

♥️Questions♥️ (yall should go ask Libby too 🩷)

[todayisafridaynight]

YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)

[gibbearish]

it is fun when u comment on a post on reddit and someones like "ummmm look what sub youre in" like no i know. i just think what you said is dumb enough that i'm willing to get downvoted to tell you that