#stop scaring the hoes bro

[guiding-key]

Sora, Kairi, Aqua, Ventus, Mickey fucking Mouse:

[neroowuu]

Oh, who is she?

[eclown4hire]

smile

[gaillol-13]

Shower thoughts today.

[nikolaiar]

Erm I haven’t been drawing erm anyways have this

[bookofjudith]

gets the aux at a party and immediately puts this bad boy on

[ilovecomputers]

Ah yes, the subtle ways that computing conferences maintained their “sausage fest” status

mildly concerning computer pins [x]

[ghosthierophant]

.

[astonmartinii]

peas in a pod | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!russell!reader

y/n and george russell may be twins, but they’re hardly two peas in a pod and oscar is just there for the ride

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri and 602,344 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: are you alex’s appendix cause you make me wanna bust 😩

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user1: excuse me 😀

user2: sometimes i’m like yeah george and y/n are defo twins and then she says shit like this and i’m like they can’t be related

alexalbon: erm what is is ?

yourusername: gosh so other people can use your appendicitis for a seat but i can’t use it to appreciate my boyf - PC gone crazy

alexalbon: the only censorship you’ll need is when my foot is up your ass

yourusername: i’d love to see you try i’ll put you back in the hospital

alexalbon: you say that but when i woke up in hospital you were crying your eyes out begging me to never do that again 🤨

yourusername: i was CHANNELLING GEORGE OBVIOUSLY

oscarpiastri: she cried about it for a good week after alex dw she loves you really

yourusername: TURNCOAT say goodbye to your bedtime privileges

georgerussell63: okay we’ll stop right there, y/n is sorry for joking about your appendicitis alex, and y/n we will not be discussing extracurricular activities with oscar. thank you.

user3: what about the people who want to hear about the extracurriculars? and maybe want to … see them?

yourusername: @oscarpiastri how do you think mclaren would feel about an onlyfans?

oscarpiastri: i think it’ll be a hard no

yourusername: ugh boring

user4: y/n talking about an onlyfans whereas i don’t believe george has even seen a naked woman

oscarpiastri: i love you and your dumb fucking pick up lines

yourusername: what do you mean i’m literally the reincarnation of william shakespeare?

georgerussell63: more like e l james

yourusername: i knew it was you who stole my copy of 50 shades GIVE IT BACK

yourusername: anyhow … i love you too babe x

user5: every comment section we learn new y/n russell lore and it shocks me everytime

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 734,513 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: in this house i guess we celebrate hit tweets? happy one year anniversary to the alpine breakup

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user6: CAKE SCARED ME FOR A SEC I WON'T LIE

yourusername: i think the technical term is “stunting on these hoes”

oscarpiastri: for pr reasons i will not be agreeing

yourusername: @ otmar HE BROKE I’M UP

oscarpiastri: you’re going to get me into even more trouble than that tweet did

yourusername: blame me and tell them to meet me in the car park, no weapons just fists

oscarpiastri: maybe let’s not

yourusername: you don’t wanna be my sexy ring girl? :(

georgerussell63: one day of not threatening people is all i ask for

yourusername: you weren’t saying that when i beat that year 13 guy’s ass in year ten for picking on you 🤨

georgerussell63: well yes but needs must

oscarpiastri: sorry george i’m siding with y/n she’s not afraid to tell the waiter they got my order wrong

landonorris: and she can square up to the people who won’t leave us alone in clubs

georgerussell63: okay i get it damn

yourusername: SMASH

alexalbon: you can’t let anything be normal can you?

yourusername: since you wanna be in my business… lily is a smash too

alexalbon: excuse me?

yourusername: let it be known if i weren’t already with the love of my life, id steal your girl

lilymunhe: oh wow … umm ☺️😳

alexalbon: OSCAR DO SOMETHING

oscarpiastri: idk bro im focusing on being called the love of y/n’s life

user7: silly season was so boring this year thank the lord we have y/n to cause chaos

georgerussell63: do not encourage her

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 823,410 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: you think i look bad, you should see the other girl. don’t touch men without their consent - and definitely don’t touch my man or you will be dealt with. trust.

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user8: someone leaked the video and omg that girl has hands

user9: she did NAWT hold back omg

oscarpiastri: i love you, thank you for defending my honour

yourusername: i love you too, i’d protect you with my life but don’t get it twisted, i’d throw hands for anyone

oscarpiastri: no but for real i’m very thankful for you standing up for me

user10: why is everyone praising this? all this shows me is that piastri is a pussy that needs his gross girlfriend to stand up for him?

yourusername: i’m going to stop you right there. that girl thought she could touch a man without his consent, and it’s completely out of order. so she was handed the consequences. oscar couldn’t do anything so it fell into my hands. you are the problem, do not talk down to him or other victims in those situations.

georgerussell63: as much as i joke, im glad you and oscar have each other.

yourusername: thank you georgie

oscarpiastri: thanks george, but your sister is the real knight in shining armour here

yourusername: i'll always save you princess 👸

alexalbon: everyone is being very sentimental but YO I KNEW YOU SAID YOU HAD HANDS BUT DAMN

user11: alex spill how brutal was it?

alexalbon: i had a front seat and it was like prime anthony joshua she was NOT playing

yourusername: oh wow that’s a big statement

alexalbon: i don’t wanna sound unprofessional but it was honestly crazy and i am so impressed y/n should really consider combat sports

yourusername: in my defence she just fully turned in on my fist

georgerussell63: okay normal service resumed she's making fun of me again :(

user12: why are we celebrating violence?

user13: people have no respect for the drivers these days, just because you’re in the same club as them does not mean that you’re entitled to harass them ??? you fuck around you’re going to find out… esp when y/n is around LOL

oscarpiastri

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,023,444 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: so a lot has happened. i don't want to give the girl any more attention. i love my girlfriend and i love how much she loves me. cry more.

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user14: OOP HE GAGGED THE HOES

georgerussell63: "cry more" y/n has clearly been rubbing off on you

yourusername: i can assure you i've done much more than just rub off on him

georgerussell63: NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE MISSY

oscarpiastri: to be fair you walked right into that one george

georgerussell63: introducing you two really is the stupidest thing i've ever done

oscarpiastri: first of all, arthur introduced us months before you "introduced us", second of all, this is a lot coming from the guy who cried to me about how i'm so great for your sister and can't wait to have me as a brother-in-law

yourusername: AWWW GEORGIE YOU SOFTIE

georgerussell63: yes i am soft. i love love. sue me gosh.

user15: they are so aesthetically pleasing to my eyes

landonorris: so does like y/n wanna give self defence classes?

yourusername: for a price, soz nothing comes for free in this economy

danielricciardo: please can you do classes? i wanna harness your rabid chihuahua energy

yourusername: i am NOT. a chihuahua take that back daniel

oscarpiastri: she's more like a kangaroo, cute but will steal your dog and beat your ass

yourusername: true, i just wanna put you in my pouch

yourusername: that sounds weird, but i just wanna hold you and never let go

danielricciardo: okay i was just messing around no need to be disgustingly cute

logansargeant: i'm glad you're both okay, but that room service debrief went so hard

oscarpiastri: honestly if i weren't holding an ice pack to my girlfriend's face it would've been top two

yourusername: eh i think it's still top two, nothing is unseating when we were next door to lando shagging and we made it a drinking game 😭

landonorris: WHAT ????

oscarpiastri: no comment

logansargeant: no comment

yourusername: it was drink every time you moaned impressively loud 👍

landonorris: no comment

alexalbon

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 822,304 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri, lilymunhe

alexalbon: idc you can never get me to hate her ass if you poke the bear expect to get bitten

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user16: sorry to the galex truthers but y/n and alex are the superior friendship

yourusername: i knew you loved me + and i knew you loved oscar SEND ME THE LAST PIC NEW LOCKSCREEN INCOMING

alexalbon: i've been the personal photographer for both russells for years and i'm only just being appreciated

yourusername: HOLD ON i take just as many of you and lily

alexalbon: well that's easier because we're much easier to photograph

oscarpiastri: WOAH hold your horses pal, call me ugly all you want but one shall not dishonour y/n

alexalbon: okay someone spent the break at the russell house

yourusername: HE'S NOT UGLY YOU POOL NOODLE TAKE IT BACK

alexalbon: damn it's a tough crowd. and on a post literally appreciating you

yourusername: bare minimum

user17: okay the kardashians are over - netflix can we please get a drive to survive spin off about y/n, george, oscar and alex ????

landonorris: lando norris erasure

charles_leclerc: charles leclerc erasure

oscarpiastri: move over twitch quartet, there's a new sheriff in town

landonorris: okay i'm banning y/n from mclaren you've spent too much time with her and now a rookie is bullying me :(

yourusername: he ate you up... i'm so proud

landonorris: is this the environment the russells promote? @georgerussell63

georgerussell63: you're on your own on this one lando i gave up years ago

yourusername: @oscarpiastri i think that's called maximising our joint slay

oscarpiastri: they wish they were us for real

user18: i love watching a black cat gf slowly corrupt her golden retriever bf

yourusername: oscar is like an evil little kitten really

oscarpiastri: and you love it

note: quick one cause i'm in my feelings. enjoy this random oscar cuteness he is an aussie queen (also a friend of mine literally went to the same school as him it's so weird)

[charlott2n]

bro stop it youre scaring the hoes in the window that look like us

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader Two

F1IQ - Part One

Y/n: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before i slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Max: Are you threatening me??

Y/n: No, I'm hitting on you, flash me a titty bitch.

Lewis: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.

Y/n: Oh what's that?

Lewis: The N-Word

Y/n looking at toto: Look at your dad. Such a dork, keeping bees.

Y/n: I mean atleast it's interesting though. At least like, i wish my dad kept bees.

Y/n: I mean it's kind of cute. Like, your dad keeps bees.

Y/n: How old is your dad? He's obviously beekeeping age. I dont know. I think It's kind of sweet.

Y/n: George, i wanna fuck your dad.

George: Oh really?

Yuki: Hey can i sit with you?

Y/n: Why

Yuki looking at stroll and ocon: The kids at the other table keep throwing ketchup packets at me.

Y/n: You're not covered in ketchup, though

Yuki: They don't know you have to open it first

Y/n: Damn. We need remedial bullying class too.

Yuki: So how do you like your remedial english?

Y/n: I guess it's whatever. My mom was really pissed, though.

Yuki: Yeah? What about your dad?

Y/n: My dad killed himself.

Charles: I'm finally seeing someone good for me.

Alex: Omg who is it?

Charles: A therapist

Y/n: max is pissing me off *20 minutes ago*

Y/n: nvm just got dicked down

George: Girl what..

Fernando: Every time i talk to you i feel confused.

Fernando: I've never met anyone that speaks like you do

Y/n: Stop lovebombing me

Fernando: what? It's not a compliment

Fernando: You scare me

Y/n: What are you hiding from me?

Zhou: Nothing..

Y/n: Zhou Guanyu.

Zhou pulls out a cat: The cat distribution system chose me okay

Y/n at drive to survive: If he cheats on you, put hair remover in his shampoo, you wanna act like Andrew tate, u gon look like him too.

Lewis wearing a beanie: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Toto: That's your fault. Being too quick signing your seat with ferrari

Oscar: Are you high?

Lando: Am i what?

Oscar: High

Lando: Hello

Christian: So what could a Mercedes principal possibly have then?

Y/n: I just feel like he'd be into satan-worship, or at the very least have a sex diary.

Christian: A toto wolff sex diary would be horrifying. He's like our rival.

Y/n: We say that about Stephen king books, we still read those.

Daniel: "Dear diary, hot candle wax hurts so good"

Christian: No it'd probably be like a thesaurus of words for "Good"

Daniel: Yeah he probably sexts with perfect grammar.

Y/n: "My wife showed an exquisite exhibition of lust for me."

Toto: Let me try something different here. Do you guys have thoughts and feelings for one another?

Y/n: Uhh i think George's kinda spoiled

George: And i feel like y/n's a bitch

Y/n: What're you gay?

Alex: What.. How did you know? I've never told anyone that.

Y/n: Dude look at your hair dye, you're either gay or color blind.

Lance: bro stop chanting in dead language's your scaring the hoes

Y/n: Bitch you is so lonely I'm summoning the hoes

Sebastian: You used to be shy, now you're a whore

Y/n: There's a thing called character development

Oscar: Reminder that I'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me

Carlos: or what

Oscar: or I'll punch your lights out

Hey yall this is a bit short cause I'm finna make a random crack twitter posts n I'll post it in the most random day. I love yall baby💋

[skeletonwithakeyboard]

Ok so as y'all know, I've been rewatching yugioh and kaiba is..... Stranger then I remembered

What's with the dog thing?? Also for as much as he says he doesn't like Joey he goes out of this way to interact with him like everytime Joey says to dual him and kaiba just?? Agrees?? Every single time? And kaiba being willing to be in Joey's general presence to? That time when Joey followed him and kaiba just let it happen?? Also answering his call? like bro? And if the dog thing just stayed as "you dog" "you mutt" I would let it go, but THEN kaiba makes innuendos like "you look good on your hands and knees" "ill have to teach you how to behave like the dog you are" "quiver at my feet like the dog you are"

BRO STOP!! YOUR SCARING THE HOES!

Tbh if I was Joey I avoid kaiba like the plague, I would NEVER wanna be alone with him, also has no one pulled kaiba aside and was like ".... Dude I think you have some misplaced emotions towards Joey... Maybe just talk to him? Ask him to hang out? Ya bringing weird vibes"

Also despite kaiba being like this Joey still tries to be nice???? I would call him every name I could think of, even make some up but Joey???? "Im worried about kaiba" (is was in the sub when they were in that castle) "you like dual monsters? We should play together sometimes!" "We gotta find kaiba before the island explodes" bro I would tell the pilot to hit the gas without a second thought.

Joey tries to fix kaiba so many times he could get a engineering degree if he wanted, Joey's doing the labour of a 10 men construction crew. OG "If he just let me in" girlie

[slut4sugu]

— PRETTY LIL THING ! [𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜] 𝐄!𝟒𝟐 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐱 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

including: aged up!characters, mutual pining, spanish, cursing, slight stalking, protective miles

genre: fluff/suggestiveness

summary: miles has seen you around the school and has taken a liking to your sweet and sarcastic nature oh..and your very pretty face

🎸: 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭-𝐁𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐢𝐥��𝐞𝐫

You’ve heard about the prowler before and even sworn you saw him a couple rooftops away from your house one time. Though you never would’ve thought that the violent individual would be crushing on you. “So you’re telling me that you would rather go out with Jordans hoe ass than Miles Tasha?” Your friend Kali asked, eyes glancing over to the teen who was sittin in his assigned seat busy taking notes even well after class was over, before glancing back at the light skin girl who sat in front of her. “Listennn, Miles is fine but he kinda scary tho.” She explained, fixing her claw clip that held her Mirco braids before looking down at her now lit up Lock Screen, “Besides I just got a text from jordannnn.” She giggled, quickly picking up her phone before getting lost in messages. Kali rolled her eyes, before shifting in her seat to talk to you. “What about you tho girl? Last time i checked your into scary lil boys.” She teased, twirling a curled braid around her manicured finger.

You rolled your eyes at the darkskinned girl, before taking in a glance at Miles. You never really talked to him but, Tasha wasn’t wrong he was definitely fine, his braids complimented his already handsome features. He had nice eyes too.. and his forearms were- you looked up for a second admist in your thoughts only to catch his eyes staring into your brown ones. Instead of looking away you smiled softly, waving at the boy. Your heart rate accelerating when he waved back, a small small smile causing your heart to melt. Only to hear Kali going “No fucking way he waved at you.” Causing your eyes to widen as you wiped your head around to scold your friend for being so loud, though not being able to help the slight smile tugging at your lips when you heard his faint snicker. ‘ I’ve never seen miles smile before..that shit was cute as fuck-‘ you thought to yourself. “My god Kali! Didn’t I tell your ass to stop being so loud?!” You whisper shouted, before quickly gathering your books realizing the next period is about to start. “My bad, but its not every day you see that mothafucker smile.” She said defensively, you rolled your eyes in response though you agreed with her in your head.

You tapped Tasha on her shoulder, snapping her out of her lovey dovey trance. “Oh shit, thanks y/n. Bro Jordan is actually a sweetheart yall gotta hear what he just sent me, ‘was the sweetest fuckin thing.” You and Kali looked at each other with the “this bitch finna talk about ‘her man’ all 4th period” face. “Mhm I bet it was Tash.” You said dryly, before putting your supplies and phone in your tote bag standing up quickly as you looked at the clock. “Now cmon yall, I wanna get sum from the vending machine before 4th! Hurry up, cmon!”

Miles watched as he saw you pull both of your friends out the door, the white bow that was clipped to your ponytail finally became visible as you three left the classroom. “Niña bonita.” he muttered to himself with a small smirk, before packing his own things up as he got ready to leave.

✮. Now onto headcannnons!

[🕷]after that small encounter, miles would start to make note of your paths home and schedules as to not put you in any danger in future missions

[🕷] since you both would have 2nd and 4th period together, when your friends weren’t there that day or with ‘they’re mans’ you would pair up with miles for anything. Which surprised almost half the class since miles usually kept to himself and scared off any one who needed a partner to rather work by themselves.

[🕷] once you two started to pair up more small talk started, which turned into sitting with him at lunch, which then turned into letting him walk you home

[🕷] Miles would always look out for you a well, whether it be reminding you of deadlines, or scaring off any dickheads who wanted to take advantage of you. Which you thought was hot, how he scared people off without having to do anything

[🕷] after a while you started to have feelings for miles, which he knew and thought it was cute how you always denied it when he would flirt with you, though whenever you saw a girl show interest in him you would roll your eyes and yet mind your business only to have the biggest smile when he would eventually turn her down.

[🕷] Since of course miles liked you too he wanted to tell you how he felt but he thought about the danger he could put you in if you found out who he really was. Would you run away? Never talk to him again? Report him to the police? He couldn’t bear think of a day were he couldn’t see your pretty smile. So he distanced himself.

[🕷] He noticed how you would become more quiet in class, your usual bubbly star student attitude gone as you would now just sit in the back of the class your head down not saying a word. Your wardrobe growing more dull, your usual softcore style turning into just hoodies and sweats

[🕷] He started to worry about you, following you home became a normal thing. Ensuring you didnt get taken or hurt by anything or anyone.

[🕷] Then finally heart shattered, when he saw you about to go up to him before meeting his gaze and turning around. He couldn’t take it, he rather tell you who he is rather than just shut you out. So thats exactly what he did, not bothering to tell his uncle Aron.

He caught you on your way home one day, coming out of an alleyway scaring you in the process. “Shit- wait..Miles? What are you-what do you want.” You asked firmly, despite your eyes starting to water slightly at the sight of merely seeing his face. “Look, angel I- the only reason I iced you out like that is to protect you. You don’t know who I am or what I’m associated with. And the last fuckin thing i want is to put you in danger.” You looked into his eyes, seeing if he meant what he said. “What are you talking about miles? Your not dangerous, or scary or nothing like that. I don’t care about whatever those weird ass clowns call you at vision. I care about you.” You explained, walking up to him. Your eyes starting to wobble as he backed up in response, “You don’t understand-“ “Then tell me Miles!” You shouted, tears finally spilling from your waterline. Causing the brown skinned teen’s face to fall into guilt, “Tell me why I can’t be with the one person who I love so damn much-“ “I’m the prowler.”

He did it. Your gonna run away. Why aren’t you running? Get away from here-You took another step and quickly wrapped your arms round his torso. Hugging him tight as you buried your face in his chest, “I don’t care about that miles, I just said i fucking lo-“ You felt two strong forearms wrap around your lower back, “I heard you ma, ‘love you too. But you shouldn’t be-“ You squeezed him tighter, “I’m staying miles, I don’t care who you are. I’m staying with you.” He chuckled, resting his chin ontop of your head. “Fine then, but stop wearin hoodies unless its mine. You look prettier in skirts and shit.” You giggled, pulling back from the embrace to look up at him. “Fine, only if you kiss me like you’ve missed me.” Your eyes flickered from his lips back up to his dark brown eyes, with a smug smile plastered on your lips.

“your a lucky pretty lil thing..givin me a run for my fuckin money.”

[star-girl-05]

Together Forever??

James Wilson x Reader

~★~❤︎~✦~

For the better part of a week you’ve noticed James has been acting suspiciously. At first you thought it was just your imagination, now though you're convinced that he’s cheating on you. It was small things at first, staying at work late, leaving the room to answer phone calls. You tried to ignore it but with his history you just couldn’t let it go. Though instead of confronting Wilson you’ve decided to question House. If Wilson’s cheating on you he would know. 

So with determined steps you make your way to House’s office. You find him bouncing his signature red ball against a wall seemingly deep in thought. Not that it, would stop you from questioning him.

He ignored you as you entered the room, his only acknowledgement is he stopped tossing his ball. “Tell me what's going on with Wilson”, House chuckles at your bluntness. Finally turning towards you. 

“Why-” you already know whatever he’s going to say is going to be complete bullshit. Just by that look on his face. 

“Don’t lie, just tell me what's going on with him.” you didn’t want to sound pathetic but you can’t help but ask him, “Is Wilson cheating on me?” you're scared to look him in the eye just waiting for whatever wisecrack he was bound to say, and he was about to but the look on your face made him stop. 

“Shouldn’t you ask him?” He of course knew what was up with Wilson, and he was definitely not cheating on you. 

“If he was cheating on me would he really admit to it?” 

“You think I would tell you, there's a code to these things Bros before hoes” He was trying to get you to leave but you were determined.

“House, tell me or... I’ll slash your motorbike tires”, yes that’s how desperate you are. House pondered your threat only for a second before finally telling you that Wilson was not cheating on you. Which in all honesty shouldn’t convince you that he wasn’t but you were so desperate for it to be true that you just believe him. Though you can’t help but ask him what other explanation there could be. Trying to eliminate any doubts you still had.

“Would you just go bother Wilson. Why he’s so infatuated with you is a mystery to me, you must be really good in bed to make up for you being so annoying.” You can't help but roll your eyes, if Wilsons so infatuated with you why is he acting so sneaky. Answering all those phone calls in another room, saying he's staying at work late only to find out he's left hours ago. All clear signs he's cheating on you. What other explanation could there be?

It all seems to click, “He’s proposing” you don’t even realize you’ve said it out loud till House responds back. 

“Wilsons going to be disappointed you figured it out, he’s been planning this for the longest time.” You can’t believe you thought he was cheating on you, when in reality he was planning on proposing. You felt like such an asshole, and now not only did you think he was a cheater but you ruined his proposal. 

There was still time you could salvage this. Wilson had no idea you knew so you could just pretend you didn't. House is sure to play along otherwise Wilson is bound to rip him apart.

Just like you predicted, House agreed to keep this a secret from Wilson. So all you had to do was act like you had no idea your sweet, perfect boyfriend was proposing. Which was harder than you anticipated since every time the two of you were together you thought he was proposing. It was honestly driving you a little insane waiting. After a week (which felt like an eternity) he popped the question, and of course you said yes.

[divorce-enjoyer]

bro stop your unflinching earnestness is scaring the hoes. no im serious theyll kill you

[fandomhungryuwu]

Bro stop being French you’re scaring the hoes