#stop disrespecting teru

[hed-romancer]

mp100 finale

someone's definitely pointed this out before but i can't find anyone who has so.

mp100 final arc is so cool to me bc it really is the culmination of everyone's arcs. yeah, its mostly about mob accepting his powers as part of himself, but everyone who tries to stop mob is someone who has fought mob in the past.

teru's first fight with mob involved mob telling him "you shouldn't use your powers against other people", and in the finale teru repeats this back to him, and spends the fight trying to protect others.

ritsu's first fight with mob was because he was scared of mob's ??? form and he was wiling to retraumatize mob by goading him into fighting ritsu in order to stop feeling afraid. in the finale, he's realized they need to accept mob's powers as part of him, and goes out of his way to avoid retraumatizing mob by not letting himself be injured.

suzuki's first fight with mob was because he wanted to take over the world, no matter how much he destroyed it, and he's unwilling to give up, deliberately hurting his son in the process. in the finale, he tries to save society from destruction, but eventually gives up so as not to hurt his son further.

reigen's first fight with mob was because he was disrespectful of mob's time and friendships, using him for his own gain while lying to the kid's face. in the finale, he's selfless as hell, going into a situation he doesn't have a good chance of surviving to help his student, and comes clean about everything.

teru loses his hair again, but doesn't let it distract him. ritsu's caught in his worst nightmare, but is determined to be a good brother anyhow. suzuki considers stopping mob at any cost, but listens to his son. reigen admits the truth. mob accepts his powers.

it's just so perfect.

[sarcastic-trash]

Brothers: Analysis of Teru and Kou

Okay, so I find these two and the analysis side of things to be interesting to say the least. Now, for those of you who may not know, I love Kou. I would protect that child with my fucking life.

That said, his brother pisses me off. Like, I want to punch Teru. So fucking badly. At the beginning I hated his guts. Couldn't stand him. However, as time goes and chapters progress, he's grown on me. I may not go out of my way to defend him but, he seems to annoy me less. Kinda like a hate-love type of thing.

I have a lot to say about these two. So, lets just get into it.

Kou

Where to start with Kou? Well I think the basics are that Kou seems very trusting of others - gullible, if you will - and kind-hearted. We see this in the fact he befriended Hanako and Mitsuba.

He was assigned to exorcise Hanako but, instead told Teru that he didn't think that Hanako was that bad. On the surface, Kou is a very gullible person because Hanako could have been acting all that time for all he knew. However, Kou didn't seem to think that was a possibility.

With Mitsuba, Kou just showed general kindness to him. Mitsuba was genuine just looking for a friend and Kou offered that to him. Therefore showing the kindness of his character. Kindness and gullability are both things that can easily be taken advantage of.

Once you dig deeper into his character though, you see a boy with self esteem issues. He wants to be seen as worthy and help others. He wants to feel like he's worth something and that's evident in a lot of his actions. Especially regarding his actions in recent chapters - fighting No. 6 and all that. This desperation to prove himself and make everyone happy turns out to help Tsukasa and Friends later on. Revealed by Natsuhiko Hyuuga.

Now, *slowly chuckling* if you thought I wanted to punch Teru, well imagine what I described for him. Double it. That's how badly I wanted to punch Natsuhiko in this moment. I just - never wanted to punch a TBHK man more than I wanted to in this panel. Besides that, Kou realizes his actions helped people that he shouldn't of. You can see regret on his face.

Please note: I have nothing against Natsuhiko, he just pissed me off in this specific panel.

I will say though, had Kou not fought against No. 6, he, Teru, Aoi, and Akane quite possibly could have died. Either way, the gravity of his situation is slowly sinking in on on him. He probably will be kicking himself in the ass. This is also a major blow to his self esteem.

We already know Kou was willing to die in the Picture Perfect Arc to be with Mitsuba. He wanted to be able to be with his friend and then later this manga panel pops up in the Red House Arc. Following this, the ilkusion the Red House makes of Mitsuba tempts Kou to end his life to be with him. This isn't really Mitsuba though, of course.

Kou fights the temptation and pushes through but, it leads me to believe Kou may be suicidal. The House showed him those he wanted to be around such as his mom and Mitsuba. Both are dead. Henceforth, the House is trying to tempt Kou by using his dead loved one's against him.

Add that to the fact that even when he wasn't under the House's influence he was willing to end his own life.

Teru

Teru is another case where he seems straight forward but the more you look into him, the less straight forward he is. I'll start with his hatred for supernaturals - probably the first thing we learn about him.

He says himself that good supernaturals don't exist - at least in his own experience.

First seeing this, Teru seems close-minded and cold. On the surface he's a close-minded, cold, pretty boy. He claims to hate supernaturals but, honestly a lot of his actions don't reflect that. It's contradictory. He doesn't bother to exorcise Tsuchigomori or Akane. Akane can easily be explained though, seeing as he's still alive.

If Teru tried to exorcise Akane - a boy whose not dead - he'd simply be a murderer. But, why not go after Tsuchigomori? Afterall, Teru has to know he's supernatural - especially with the fact he blackmailed Tsuchi in After School Hanako Kun. So, why not exorcise him? I've been discussing this with my friend and we both believe maybe he doesn't hate supernaturals in general.

Akane is actually a great example. He helped Akane with the whole seeing supernaturals ordeal. Teru did an act of kindness for someone who he not only has to work with but, also is half supernatural. He didn't have to comply but, he did. It makes me believe that maybe beneath the surface he doesn't hate all supernaturals. Seeing as he doesn't hate Akane and actually sees him as a friend.

Or, at least a friend in the sense he feels as though he can have a conversation with Akane. Without worry.

So he acts like he has a hatred towards Hanako the most. Therefore, I'm inclined to believe he has information on Hanako he's not sharing for whatever reason. He's protective over Kou and his siblings are undoubtedly a weak point for him. He even pushed Kou away from the exorcist path in his early childhood. Therefore, he lost a bit of his childhood - something you can't get back.

Lost Childhood, Sheltering, and Protectiveness

So, since Teru tries to protect Kou, he sometimes overdoes it. He made Kou feel as though Teru was treating him like an idiot. To be fair, Teru was trying to protect him but, he was also display quite obviously he didn't trust his brother's instinct.

Since Teru lost so much ability to have a childhood, being the eldest, he tries to protect Kou but, he accidentally shelters him too. Instead of trying to push Kou away from the exorcist stuff as a child, Teru should have explained that he wants Kou to enjoy his childhood.

Since there's enough evidence telling us Teru knows something he didn't tell anyone, he should have told Kou. Not telling Kou makes it so he's sheltering him from the truth. This could get Kou into huge troubles. Ignorance isn't always bliss. I believe Kou is acting out because he's tired of feeling unworthy.

He's tired of feeling like even his own brother doesn't have faith in him. Teru has good intentions and while I respect him for that, I believe he's not making good decisions.

[sarcastic-trash]

(I editted this cause good grief my fucking spelling)

I actually have a lot to say about this. Please note, I'm not always great with wording - so just know I mean no disrespect. As someone who was pissed at Teru for saying something he didn't mean, I think it's completely unreasonable to be mad at Kou for what he did. (By the way, I have siblings AND I'm a Teru kinnie, so let's talk about it!)

Did Teru really just expect Kou to follow along to this plan like a dog when he knows Kou's ideologies about supernaturals? If so, he's a fool. Teru would be foolish to think Kou would blindly follow a plan that goes against his ideologies. Teru saying what he said was just him letting his anger get the better of him but, regardless of whether he meant it or not does not matter.

He still said what he said. I don't care how badly my siblings hurt me, I'd never do what Teru did. I'd never call someone weak because they aren't blindly following my way of doing things.

If we are looking at Teru's frustration why don't you take a look at Kou's motivations?

If you are going to excuse the fact Kou is motivated by making everyone happy then, it's only fair to excuse any of Teru's motivations behind saying what he said. That's the first problem: If you are going to look at Teru's motivations, you need to look at Kou's, too.

You can't just excuse Kou's motivations as if they don't exist, for one.

My second point is Teru is not telling Kou everything - he is definitely hiding something.

I've discussed this before but, it's overwhelmingly obvious that Teru knows more than he's letting on. There's tons of hints - for one the fact his dislike of supernaturals is always intensified by Hanako. He could of exorcised Tsuchigomori - whom he does know about - but, he doesn't?

That goes strictly against his own ideology - let's not forget associating with Akane. Akane may be only half supernatural but, he's still supernatural and ironically the only person Teru has been to talk to without stress. Showing he has genuine trust in a supernatural (It's in the relay interview manga chapter). But, when it comes to Hanako, suddenly: All supernaturals are evil.

I think it's obvious he knows something about Hanako that Kou doesn't know about. I've discussed this theory in full detail here. So can you really get mad if Kou seems to be missing some facts?

Also this isn't me throwing unnecessary shade of this person's opinion, I'm just point this out. I am over my anger at Teru - I understand if my theory is right, he is with holding information to keep Kou safe - and I respect that.

"I loved chp87- ever since I read chp10 I knew it was coming and I LOVED IT!- but as this fan base does- people only gave a shit about Kou- Kou was the one that backstabbed him why are people mad that Teru said something he clearly didn't mean? Why is Teru getting attacked for being hurt by his brother? I have siblings and if one of them did that when all I've done is try to give them everything I would be pissd. So when it comes to it. Kou was the one I was mad at. Not Teru." submitted by Anon.

[incorrect-kubokai]

(some) Saiki k characters watching mob psycho 100

✨This post was brought to you by: my mp100 brainrot!!✨

Kaidou: he would watch it and like it a lot, especially the fight scenes. Has merch and his favorite character is Ritsu (he swears he understands him #emocore). He once told Saiki he would like to be an esper and Saiki was like: . Unimpressed. and offended. Plays the intros to hype himself up alone in his room bc THEYRE BANGERS.

Saiki: He would act like it's whatever but he enjoys it a lot. He read the manga before the third season aired so he knows what happens but has been trying to avoid people from finding out bc he wants everyone to experience it spoiler-free and I think that's beautiful. Lowkey wants to be friends with Mob because he's quiet too and a good kid (wants him to introduce him to stim toys to help him deal w his emotions). Doesn't like Reigen much bc he's so EXTRA and sees how he wants to take advantage of Mob but grows on him when he sees Reigen does care abt Mob and how he makes the rat man a better person. Rolls his eyes at Mob when he gets nervous around girls bc "they're corrupting him, that's not him. Stop polluting his mind, he only wants to play with cats and drink milk" (that's so funny to me). He applauds Reigen for being -surprisingly- the only one with a brain cell when a middle schooler has to fight a 40 y/o man bc it is pathetic.

Aren: he has cried watching this show at least TWICE, okay?? believe me. Was introduced by Shun and he thinks the show changed his life for the better (don't we all). Likes how Mob has changed the people around him and he's one of those people who would beat the crap out of you if you say something mean abt the style of the manga/anime or disrespect Mob and I love him for that. Likes the Onigawara arc and his growth bc he reminds him of himself (both punks who got friends and became less better ppl). Wanted to beat the shit out of Reigen during the separation arc but after he saw the rat's real (and empty) life he thinks he's pathetic. Still cried during the "I've known all along, the truth about my master is..." bc he's human. "Shun, there's no way Teru is straight. Look at him, how he looks at Mob. This is crushing on your best friend 101, believe me, I know about this" He sees Teru's true colors, and even though he doesn't ship TeruMob necessarily, he still thinks Teru has a big crush on Mob (which I thought everyone already knew but ok).

Nendou: "that flying fart is funny" "why's that guy naked". That's all.

Hairo: HE'S A FAN OF THE BODY IMPROVING CLUB LADS, he is an honorary member at this point. Just watched the show for them and loves Mob, always proud of him for giving his best.

[mari-lair]

This red house scene does not fit the chapter vibe / I won’t be able to use it, but I still like it!

.

Akane frowned, trying to imagine something more romantic with the president, hold his chin and guide him for a kiss, run a hand through his back, grab his thin waist…

The mental images made him feel weird.

It wasn’t a revolting idea (like it should) but it filled him with shame, as if he was doing something he shouldn’t, disrespecting both Teru and Aoi.

Shit...

Why did he ever think this would help…? 

Is not like he would even need to make a plan if Teru wanted Akane like that. The president has always done whatever he damn pleases, he would have just cornered him into a wall and kissed him while he was working. Be really good at it too, rub it in his face how they aren’t on the same level and hopefully shut him up with a more heated kiss-

Akane froze on the spot.

Hopefully…?

Did he just-

Oh

Oh no

“Aoi senpai? Why did you stop…?”

He shouldn’t be flustered by that.

“ Akane kun…? Is something wrong?”

But he can’t deny being pushed around would be less annoying if he got a nice kiss after-

no

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

No!

He punched a wall full force, feeling better at the way his fist went through it, the ache of his knuckles distracting, but not by much.

Fuck.

Akane groaned, ignoring how the airhead trio stared at him in fear or plain confusion, hiding behind Teru. “I’m losing my mind!”

“So it seems” Teru frowned, completely serious “Did something happen?”

‘outside wanting to kiss you?’

Akane didn’t answer.

“...Is it related to Akane-san?”

God

Akane feels sick.

“...Don’t bring Aoi-chan into this.” Forget getting answers, he definitively shouldn’t be doing this.

Teru narrowed his eyes, leaving the kids behind, and calmly approaching “You should focus on getting her back. You won’t be able to patch up any mistake if you don’t save her first”

The president is right, as always.

Teru got way too close, lowering his voice so only Akane could hear “But you know that already”

Akane tensed up, able to read the accusation in his eyes ‘I know something else happened, something you aren’t telling me. Why aren’t you telling me?’

He laughed, wanting to kiss him as much as he wanted to punch his stupid face “President” He grabbed his neck on impulse, keeping the hold gentle and feeling some sick satisfaction at the hint of surprise in his beautiful eyes.

“I’m going crazy.”

Teru's face went back to impassive, it was infuriating “I’ll find an amulet to help you when we are ba-”

“I am not cursed, idiot.” He mocked, dragging him even closer, until he was holding the back of his neck, able to feel the way Teru's heart sped up under his palm, the spiritual electricity near his blade prickling Akane’s thigh. They are so close, Akane could feel the danger, being consumed by a familiar insanity, a sort of reckless love that doesn’t care about consequences, only of being heard. He felt out of control of his body, mesmerized by blue of his eyes when whispering “I want to kiss you.”

The way Teru’s guarded look completely shattered was satisfying. Let’s see how he handles this bullshit. Not so mighty now are you, president?

…But the high crashed after a very short 4 seconds, not expecting Teru to put a hand on his chest, coming closer instead of pushing him off, whispering in his ear “... We both know you’ll regret it” before getting off him, the only signs he wasn’t as calm as he looked being the hint of red on his cheeks and the faint spark of lighting near his sword despite his tight control. 

Akane could only stare at his back.

Yet again, Teru was right.

(Still, he couldn’t help but overthink how Teru said “you’ll regret this”, as if the idea he’ll ever regret kissing someone as messed up as Akane wasn’t possible)

[lebensmoode]

"TARI! Kau solat?" (Nada sarkas)

"Kok ditunda-tunda terus? Kebiasaan ini nanti sampe mau azan isya baru dia solat."

"Umi tengok kau ni yg paling suka solat dilama-lamain. Gak boleh gitu. Asik hapeeee aja yang ditengok."

🙂

.

I know Mom, i know. Stop making me feel like anak ini solatnya harus disuruh dulu baru dikerjain, kalo gak kafir lah anak ini. I know what I need to do, I know it is fardhu 'ain. But you keep making me feel like I'm a 10 yo girl who isn't aware of this "kewajiban" that I have to be told like every hour.

I'm aware of the consequences if I do or don't do it. I know you have a good intention to remind me. But when such words come out, it doesn't sound like a reminder to me, but a distrust and an underestimation.

I wanna write disrespect but hello hw, since when parents must respect their children regarding this religious thing. Every child must do prayer in front of their parents' eye. Otherwise, ya gak solat. Dosa. Period.

[7ban-sama]

do you headcanon Amane as hyper sexual ?

would it amuse you anon, that I would almost say that the label "hypersexual" is too... generous, for Amane...? It would be attributing his intrusive sexuality as a sort of pathology that he cannot control, past a point. As someone hypersexual myself, I guess I wouldn't necessarily call it that... Whatever his deal is. I would just call it, being a nasty fuck, personally. Just look at him.

The way he behaves as "Hanako" is flagrantly disrespectful, overall, outside of things related to sexuality in fact... If you ask me, the sexual stuff is not a matter of "just can't help it" but rather, simply a matter of being able to "get away with it". Honestly, Amane reveals about how he thinks when he says that horrible thing to Kou during the clock keepers' arc, about "doing whatever you wanted" if time was frozen. This + the bonus comic of him trying to sneak a peek up Nene's skirt reveals just how much Hanako is slimy bastard just waiting for an opportunity where he can do something, with no consequences. Like, somehow, we're not even seeing Hanako at his most "unrestrained" during the day to day... what would he DO to Nene, if she couldn't protest, or have any memory of the event...!? brrr *gets a chill up my spine*

Overall, being a ghost has freed Amane of all the obligations of having to be observed as a human by other humans. Society cannot regulate him, nor can other kaii — since he is the top dog, leader of the mysteries. Nanaban-sama answers to no one, and he doesn't care about maintaining anyone's respect or favor. Just think about a 13 yo boy who you literally cannot discipline meaningfully... beyond, I guess, KILLING HIM FOREVER for becoming dangerous or something. But Teru is just the warden on call for the mysteries acting up, he can't stop Hanako-san of the bathroom from watching girls pee all day. Protecting humans from misbehaving kaii is the only obligation. Amane can watch girls shove tampons in themselves for decades and there's nothing they can do about it. And on top of it all, he's not going to feel an ounce of guilt.

I've touched upon it vaguely in my posts, but I think Amane chronically has an issue with not liking, valuing, or respecting other people. THAT is what I see as pathological, actually. His lack of regard for others, and his inability to be sincere. I think his sexuality conforms to the shape of this psyche... One that doesn't take other people's autonomy and wellbeing into account. It is selfish, it is opportunistic, it is self-serving. It's the brain of a rapist.

It actually drives me a little crazy that living Amane was a friendless intellectual dweeb, busy tuning his telescope... I never get the impression that Amane's interest in science remotely crosses into something sexual, and it's something he COULD focus on as a career, so...? He COULD just wholly lean into this and be okay with that-? Just be satisfied looking at constellations. Ugh, like the fact that Amane RPing his past self in Picture Perfect involves using honorifics and not sexually harassing Nene — is because he wouldn't be doing that as living Amane-!!! I don't think being a rude, overt pervert was a facet of his personality then... Well, I mean, to his classmates -_- I do think how he treated Tsukasa is potentially another story (as, it was a circumstance where he likely could get away with anything, because of how much Tsukasa is obedient and completely adores him) — anyways, at the VERY least, I don't think he was relishing in QUITE so much.

Getting into [hand waves] more "pure" headcanony territory, and, I can tell you that I actually think of Amane as paraphilic... so much so, that I wouldn't even actually describe him with labels like, straight or bi or etc. (I've actually gone into Tsukasa vs Amane's sexual predilections in this ask.) I also think he's way more single-target sexuality than even he understands, like... Wouldn't actually let anyone that wasn't Nene pursue him. I like to think that before Tanabata, Amane barely thought about girls and had a cursory understanding of sex, but very little conscious thought about it. After having his encounter with a hot older girl though it's over though, it's like a shot into his blood stream. Commence seeking porno mags and jerking off nonstop. Aurghhhhh ahhh being a young boy discovering his p*nis.

But-! I think he lacks the ability to really have fantasies about dating, romance, soo far from it. Ohp, I've actually talked about Amane's feelings on commitment in this ask as well. Perhaps relevant... I actually vaguely touch upon my next point I'm going to make — that Amane looking at porn really distills things down to "the parts"... "the acts", not the idea of people/partners. Not thinking about having a GF, just thinking about sticking it in, and how awesome that would feel. Ohh and getting to dirtytalk and seem so sexy and cool... Allured by the potential powertrip, really... I've joked to my wife that, if you could look into Amane's sex dreams, they'd be kind of, amusingly horrifying and bizarrely fetishistic, like he's fucking a blurry shape of a girl in latex or something. And Tsukasa is there rubbing his back, due to the sheer familiarity of baby brother presence. I would even say that Amane values people so little that anyone not Tsukasa barely exists to him... this manifesting in the dream consciousness as everyone being a mob figure, faceless or something. Some real lizard brain shit.

If he hadn't met Nene though... I don't think Amane and Tsukasa's relationship would ever really "crest" like that... realistically. Lol despite obviously having strong feefees for the twins together, I think of them both as paraphilic and more prone to atypical expressions of possession and ownership. Tsukasa's nature conforms to Amane's lead, so if he doesn't have anything incepted by Nene, he's not going to direct them towards that. You're going to sooner have the conclusion where Amane stabs Tsukasa in the heart and turns Tsukasa into his most precious object for all eternity... w.

I actually use AU Amanes to further inform potential realities for him. Specifically, ah, the one from Monster Nursery and Hanako-kun of Magic. These are Amanes that are relatively "normal" in lifestyle, so much so that they've become fully science-oriented and don't seem preoccupied with sexuality at all. I think of them as "functionally ace". They're never going to seek a partner, they're busy with their special interest. These Amanes just have Tsukasa as their closest person and that's it, haven't sought "more". There's nothing that motivates them to seek more. But I think these iterations are also more subdued in their asocial nature, as well... Hanako-kun of magic boy is just fiddling with his drones and not making eye-contact, mumbling under his breath... So far from cruising for poon, that one. I mean he's literally deflecting Nene's attempts at pursuit, because he's averse to getting attention....

It's like he can go dormant, a sleeper agent of a horrible pervert... but this means it can't be hypersexuality, right?? He can shelve it and lead a whole life without it. *points accusingly at!*

Anyways I'm not sure if I have a clean summary to close this out. Amane's sexuality is strangely shaped... I don't think any one word really does this monstrosity justice.

[gremlin-flubb]

Can you do a Headcanons (separate) with Teru, tsukasa, and hanako with a s/o who is deaf? Owo

HnnnnnggggGGGGGG YES I SURE CAN.

XxX

Headcannon: Deaf S/o

XxX

Teru

So, finding out you were deaf was r o u g h.

Listen, the poor boy only wanted to say hello to you

You were new, no one seemed to be helping you out, and you looked super lost

But when he said hi, you literally walked right pass him

R00d™

He didn't quite get it?

Like, no one really ever ignored him

At least, not living people

So he trailed after you, calling out to you

but yet-

Nothing.

You didn't even turn around!

So now he was just plain annoyed at your blatant disrespect

So he caught up to you, and tapped your shoulder

The height you made when you jumped was a m a z i n g

You whip around quickly, eyes huge and fear stuck on your face

"Hello." He says again, hoping now you'd say it back.

You only blink, brows furrowing.

He pouted, not quite understanding why you wouldn't say it back.

But when you saw his pout, your face burst into panic, hand flinging out quickly as if to stop his thought process.

And then, your hands started to form words

AND GUILT HIT THIS BLOND BEAUTY SO HARD.

O W.

You were deaf

You weren't purposely ignoring him

Unfortunately, he didn't understand sign language.

Like, at all.

Maybe a few letters but..

So you guy sat there playing silent charades.

And after that whole ordeal, in fear of people bullying you because they think you're ignoring them (coughlikehim), he decides to stick v close to you.

Like this man gets your schedule and everything just so he can walk you around school

He learns sign language incredibly fast too

He really wants to talk with you okay??

It doesn't take long for you two to become official.

V protective

"Haha what? What did you say? She's deaf, sure, but I'm most certainly not." :)

Que them getting r e a l uncomfy and just.. Ditchin'

#✌

"What were they saying?"

"They really liked your hair today."

Tsukasa

"DEAF??? SAKURA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? HEY! HEY!"

When he realizes (told) that you're deaf, and can't hear, he thought it was g r e a t.

Not because he'll say mean things or anything, but because all he has to do is turn you away from him, and you wouldn't know about his weird fixation.

He also learns sign language fast, not liking the idea of not being able to communicate with you.

When he learns, this boy will non-stop talk to you.

Favorite color? Food? Do you ever want to know what a person looks like inside??

You love it tho

You love that he wants to to talk with you, even if it's through hands.

He's v protective

Way more than Teru, or hanako.

"[Y/n], what's wrong?" He signs, watching you walk into their little get together room.

"Nothing, really..! It's just.. No one wants to be friends with me.. Am i weird, tsukasa-kun?" You sign back, a sad breath leaving your throat as you explain.

"What? Of course not! You're wonderful!" He quickly wraps his arms around you.

And he knew in that moment he was gonna w r e c k some students.

Hanako

Yes, you.

He heard about you from an excited Kou and Nene.

Nene had learn some sign from you, and taught them to Hanako so he'd be prepared when nene allowed him to meet you.

The relief on your face when you realized he could somewhat understand had his heart hammering in his chest

You were just??? So cute???

Must protecc??

Literally after meeting you he went to Tsuchigomori, and demanded books on jsl.

Because of his dedication to understanding you, ya'll got s u p e r close

Nene was v upset that Hanako was taking her new bff.

How d a r e he.

But! Y'all soon fell for each other, and became official

>^> protective Hanako time?

Protective hanako time.

Some students were talking bad?

Whoops, they tripped.

Making mean faces?

Yikes, where did that flung pencil come from?

He absolutely adores you.

Best bf

10/10

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Sanctuary (Hidden Corner series)

Hidden Corner: A series of fluffy, full-length one-shots detailing the lives of the employees who work at Hidden Corner featuring the various Haikyuu boys.

*Note: All one-shots take place in the same universe with the same characters.

Izanami is the Reader from Recommendations and Kioko is the Reader from Universal 

tw: mentions of being kicked out, mentions of a toxic family (no details) 

Word count: 4530

Pairing: Barista!Terushima x female Customer!reader

Summary: Kicked out multiple times by bad roommates, Izanami takes pity on her classmate and hires him to work for her café overnight. But little does Terushima know, he’s getting more than just a job out of this.

Masterlist | Menu 

Sanctuary

“Back again, Teru?” 

Terushima sent Izanami a small smile, nodding. “Yeah. Hey Iza.” It was late in the evening, around 8 P.M. by now. 

She hummed from her position behind the counter, stifling a yawn. “How are your other classes goin’?”

“Miserable,” Terushima announced, collapsing onto one of the bar-stools. 

“What’s going on?” Izanami asked, pouring two mugs full of hot chocolate. She added a bit of chipotle pepper and cinnamon to create a Mexican hot chocolate before placing one of the mugs in front of Terushima. 

He accepted it gratefully, sipping it and letting the warmth wash over him. Terushima let out a sigh of relief. Izanami never failed to make the cafe home for him. “My roommates keep kicking me out,” he admits finally. “And I really need a job if I wanna keep staying here.” Terushima chews on his bottom lip. 

“They keep kicking you out?” Izanami frowned, sipping her own mug thoughtfully. “And you need a job huh?” She glanced around at the emptying cafe. There were still a few students dotting around the tables. “How about working here?”

Terushima straightened up, looking into her eyes as his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you serious? I didn’t know you were hiring.”

Izanami shrugged, “I was thinking about opening the cafe 24 hours actually. Let more students have somewhere to crash in case they need to study late, especially during exam season.” She stirred in some more cinnamon into her mug. “If you want, you can work here during the night shift. It shouldn’t be too busy, so you’ll have time to study and do your homework too.” Terushima nodded slowly, listening to her proposition. “If you work hard, you can help yourself to coffee and crash at my apartment upstairs whenever you need to.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, frowning. “I don’t want to take advantage or anything.” 

Izanami snorted. “Where was that sentiment when you kept stealing my notes for class?” She flicked him on the forehead causing him to yelp. “The way I see it, it’s a win-win. I can open the cafe late, you have a job and a place to safely crash whenever you get kicked out.”

“So when can I start?” 

She grinned, “might as well start now.” Izanami bent down, throwing a maroon apron at the male. “Ready to start your training?” 

Terushima nodded eagerly. He’d been frequenting the cafe for the past year or so, ever since he’d shared an Intro to Psych class with Izanami. They’d held their study sessions at the cafe, and he’d been there to help her celebrate when her parents officially transferred the store to her. “You’re a life-saver, Iza,” Terushima grinned, throwing his arms around the girl. 

She shrugged him off, “First order of business, don’t throw yourself at my customers.”

“You mean our customers.”

Izanami flicked him on the forehead again. “Behave or I’ll kick you out too,” she threatened.

Terushima grinned, knowing that she was all bark and no bite. “What else?” 

Izanami chuckled before walking him through all the steps he would need to take. After twenty minutes of showing him various recipes and giving him a recipe book, Izanami went upstairs to her apartment to get Terushima his paperwork. Within five minutes of her leaving, the cafe door chimed open. “Uhm, excuse me?”

Terushima popped up from behind the counter where he’d been leaning down to read the recipe book. “Hey, welcome to Hidden Corner! How can I help you?”

You flush, heat crawling up your cheeks at the sight of the male. Clearing your throat as you anxiously scuff your feet along the floor, you mumble, “the lights were on. Are you guys open?”

Terushima grinned, nodding. “Yep! Today’s the first day of our new hours. We’ll be open for 24 hours from now on.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, stepping further into the cafe. “Is it alright if I study here?”

“Of course,” Terushima replied. “Please let me know if there’s anything you’d like to order or if there’s anything I can help you with.”

“T-thanks,” you stutter, making your way towards the corner table and plopping down into it. Terushima observed you for a moment longer before shaking his head. His first day, he was not about to creep out a random girl. That was him in high-school. After maturing a bit, he realized how immature and disrespectful that was and vowed never to do so again. That, and Izanami had specifically warned him against it. Speaking of his newfound boss, the door swung open to reveal her. You jolted in your seat, whirling around to see her. Relief filled your expression. “Hi, Iza.”

“Oh! Hey (Name), how are you doing?” Izanami smiled kindly as she made her way over to you. “Can I join you?” Izanami asked politely, indicating the open seat.

You nod shyly, gesturing to the seat. “Of course, Iza.” You cast your gaze around the cafe, drifting over Terushima who was awkwardly trying to look like he was studying the recipe book when he was really eavesdropping. “I didn’t know you were open overnight?”

Izanami chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, it’s actually a new development. If it wasn’t for Teru, it wouldn’t have been possible for a while.”

You nod, glancing at Terushima who gave a small wave. “He seems nice,” you whisper to Izanami, who gave you an amused smile.

“Hey Teru, make another mug of that Mexican Hot Chocolate, will ya?” 

“Yes ma’am!” 

“Don’t call me that,” Izanami chided, shooting him a look. Terushima just gave her a cheeky smile, doing a two-finger salute before busying himself with the drink. He let out a soft sigh of relief. At least it was an easy one.

“What’s that for?” you ask curiously, tilting your head.

“Here ya go, boss-lady.” Terushima came towards the table, gently placing it down onto it. 

Izanami smacked his hand, “you’re a cheeky one, aren’t you?” You giggled, the exchange making you feel much more comfortable than you had been feeling since entering the cafe ten minutes ago. Terushima flashed you a grin. “(Name), sweetheart, this is Terushima. If he ever bothers you, let me know okay? I’ll kick his ass for you.”

“Iza!” Terushima whined, jutting his lip out in a small pout. “I promise I’ll behave.” 

“You’d better,” she threatened. 

Terushima turned back to you, extending a hand. “Like she said, I’m Terushima.” He opened his mouth, about to drop a pick-up line until Izanami sent him a fierce glare and he thought better of it. 

“I’m (Name),” you said, gazing up with him with soft doe-eyes. 

“Nice to meet you (Name).” 

“Alright, back to work for us. Good luck studying, (Name),” Izanami smiled, ruffling your hair. “That drink is on the house, but please feel free to let Terushima or I know if you need anything, okay?” 

You nod, sipping the hot chocolate and waving a goodbye to Izanami and Terushima as they made their way back to the counter. As they sat at the counter filling out paperwork, Terushima’s brown eyes couldn’t stop wandering to your figure. How closely did you know Izanami? Why did she speak to you with such familiarity? Why were you out and about so late at night anyways?  

*****

It became a common occurrence for you to appear in the cafe. Terushima started working every day, save for Sunday night when he would crash in Izanami’s apartment for the night to prepare for his classes that following week. Each and every day that he worked, you would already be there. Working diligently in that same corner each and every time. You would have already set-up shop by the time Terushima had entered, a mug of hot chocolate on the table with your books spread out. 

It was on one such night that Terushima found himself buried in his books, pen twirling between his fingers as he reread the same line for the fifteenth time. Pinching his nose, he leaned back in his seat. He had taken to setting up a study corner at the bar right beside the counter where Izanami would typically sit. Stifling a yawn, he can’t help but glance over at your corner. You were slumped over on the table, head resting on your arms. Warmth filled him as he watched the gentle rise and fall of your chest. Terushima reached into his bag, pulling out a blanket that he’d use to nap whenever Izanami came in and gave him his breaks and lunch. Carefully making his way over to you, he draped it over your shoulders, delicately tucking it under your arms to keep you warm before he made his way back to his corner. 

It was only twenty minutes later when you slowly woke up with a soft moan, nuzzling into something soft. Your eyes blinked blearily at the warmth that covered your shoulders. Turning to look at the side, heat crept up your cheeks. Someone...had put a blanket over you? You shot up, fully awake now. Terushima jumped, startled awake by the sudden screeching of your seat. You make eye-contact with him before you quickly avert your eyes once more. Embarrassment swept over you. 

Steeling your nerves, you stand up with the blanket over your arm. “Is this yours?” you ask shyly, approaching Terushima who had his nose buried in his book. 

He straightened up quickly, looking at you before giving you a soft smile. “Yeah, sorry if that was invasive.” 

You shake your head, playing with a strand of loose hair. “I didn’t mind. Thank you.” 

His eyes sparkled as he nodded eagerly. “Anytime! Anything for my favorite customer.”

A soft giggle left you. “I’m like the only customer you see.”

“And yet you’re still my favorite,” he teased. Heat crept over you as you stood there awkwardly. 

“Oh, here you go.” You hand him the blanket. 

He takes it back gingerly. “Thanks.” Another moment of awkwardness swept over you two. “If you want,” he scratches his neck awkwardly, praying that you couldn’t see him blushing, “you can borrow my blanket whenever. I don’t mind.”

Your eyes widened as your entire body heats up now. “O-oh! I couldn’t-”

“I don’t mind!” Terushima interrupts, his cheeks darkening. “I’d rather you be comfortable if anything.” 

You both stare at each other for a moment longer. “Thanks Terushima,” you say softly before immediately spinning on your heel and heading back to your corner. Terushima couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he muttered a soft “you’re welcome” under his breath. 

***** 

The next time Terushima comes into his shift, he’s startled to find you situated at the end of the counter that he usually works at. He was even more shocked when you looked up at him, offering him a small smile. “Hi Terushima.” 

“H-hey (Name)!” He stammers, placing his bag down at his usual seat. “How’s it goin’?”

You shrug before turning back to your work. 

“So what are you studying?” You flinch, jumping. Terushima was standing in front of you behind the counter, stirring a spoon into his mug as he gazed quizzically between you and your books. 

“M-medicine,” you say, heat creeping through you.

“That’s so cool!” Terushima grinned. You weren’t sure why, but his smile was comforting. “What type of medicine do you want to get into?”

You shrug, glancing back down at the book. “I’m not really sure.” 

He cocked his head, placing the cup in front of you. You murmur a thanks, taking the mug in between your hands. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“To be honest, I don’t really want to study med.” You swallow, cursing yourself internally as anxiety filled you. Why did you just tell him that? This was the first time you guys were having an actual conversation.

“I see.” He leaned on his elbow, tapping his chin. “What would you do instead?” Another shrug. “Oh c’mon, I’m sure there’s something that you’d rather do.” 

You hum, taking a sip. “Maybe something art-related? I was always into fashion.” 

“So why’d you go into med if you don’t really like it?”

“My parents.” 

He waited for more, but you offered nothing else. “Alrighty then.” Terushima picks up his own mug, walking back around the counter back to his seat as he hummed along to whatever classical song played in the background. You eye him in the corner of your eye as he settles back into his seat before you glance back down at your work. A bubble of courage builds in you as you pick up your stuff. “Where ya goin’?” Terushima asked, alarmed when he notices what you’re doing. Worry fills him as he watches, scared that he’d driven you off by asking too many questions.

You don’t respond until you’re making your way towards him. “Can I sit here?” His brown eyes widen with shock as all he could do is wordlessly nod. “Thank you.” You flash him a small smile as you take the seat beside him, setting your stuff down and getting ready to start studying once more. Warmth filled his heart as he internally fist-pumped. Progress!

****

“Hey Teru, come try this for me.”

Terushima looked up from his books as Kioko entered the main lobby of the cafe with a tray of her recent creation. “What is it?” 

Kioko shook her head impatiently, “will you try it or not?” 

“I mean sure, but what if you’re trying to poison me or something?” 

Kioko fixed him with a hard stare. “Why would I poison my taste-tester?” 

Terushima shrugged, “maybe to get back at me for scaring you the other day?”

She rolled her eyes, “just taste this.” Kioko placed a plate down on the counter, glancing over at you. “Hey there (Name). Wanna try it too?”

You jump, startled as heat crept through you, embarrassed that you had been caught staring. “If you don’t mind,” you say shyly. 

Kioko giggled, plating another pastry and placing it in front of you. “Nah, I like you, and you’re better at feedback than Teru is.” 

“Hey!” Terushima protested, though he couldn’t stop his smile. “You know you like me.” 

“I just like that you have a bottomless stomach, Teru. Don’t mistake that for affection.” 

“Oh hey Teru, I didn’t know you worked here now.” Kioko had just arrived into the cafe, shrugging off her coat as she spotted Terushima behind the counter.

“Yep! Started a few weeks ago. Iza didn’t tell you?”

Kioko shrugged, “I’ve had the past few weeks off to visit my family. She just told me that we’re open 24 hours now.” Kioko made her way behind the counter, “guess that means you’re my new taste-tester,” she teased, ruffling Terushima’s hair. He protested, ducking under her arm to fix his hair. She noticed you sitting by Terushima’s stuff. “Hey there! I’m Kioko, the resident baker.”

You shyly waved, “hi, I’m (Name).”

Kioko tapped her chin thoughtfully, “Iza mentioned you. Lemme know if there’s anything I can do to help you.” With one final wave to you and Terushima, Kioko disappeared into the back.

An hour or so later, he found himself sitting in his usual spot. Terushima had just finished making you both a fresh cup of gingerbread hot chocolate. “Teru!” 

Terushima jumped, almost spilling his drink. “What is it, Kio?”

“Try this,” she demanded, placing a plate in front of him before disappearing into the kitchen yet again. In the corner of his eye, he sees you eyeing the pastry and subtly passes it to you.

Startled, you look up at him. “What?”

Terushima cleared his throat, turning his face to stop the smile that crept up. “I had a really big dinner. You’d be doing me a favour by eating this.” 

“Are you sure?” You hesitated, chewing on your lip and fiddling with your pen.

He nodded, pushing it closer to you. “Please?” 

With a final glance between Terushima, the pastry, and the kitchen, you accept the pastry, taking a bite out of it. “So?” You yelp, dropping it back onto the plate. “How is it?” Kioko is standing back in front of you, eagerly eyeing your expression.

Swallowing, you nod. “It’s really good! I like how the raspberry compliments the white chocolate drizzle and how the cinnamon adds another layer to it all.” 

Kioko nods, satisfied. “Thank you (Name). At least someone,” she eyes Terushima, “is descriptive!” 

“What is it anyways?” Terushima glanced over at the pastry interestedly. You subtly pass it back to him, granting him permission to take a bite. He flashes you a grin before doing so. You flush, realising that you had just given him an indirect kiss. 

“It’s a raspberry cinnamon roll with some white chocolate chips inside it and a white chocolate and cream cheese drizzle,” Kioko spouts immediately with a sparkle in her eyes. 

Terushima nods as he takes his bite. “What (Name) said.” 

Kioko scowled, “you’re so useless I swear, Teru.”

“So what is this?” You ask, examining the pastry. 

Kioko’s eyes lit up. “That, my dear, sweet, (Name), is a chaussons aux pommes. Apple slippers! These are traditional French turnovers filled with an apple compote filling.”

“What’s the difference between this and the apple squares?” Terushima asked, now staring down at the pastry too.

Kioko clicked her tongue, shaking her head with a small scowl. “The squares had sliced apples. This is apple compote, Terushima!” She looked over to you as you took your first bite. “So? How is it?”

Your eyes widened as you took another bite. “It’s so good!” You beam. “The vanilla and cinnamon really compliment the apples that you used! And the flakiness of the pastry isn’t too overwhelming. It balances out the flavour.” 

Terushima nods besides you, a thoughtful expression on his face. “This could go great with a nice mocha,” he mused. “Or a latte.”

Kioko hummed, picking one up and trying it for herself. “I think a latte would be better.”

You finish off your pastry, wiping your hand on a napkin. “Thank you for the treat, Kioko. It was really good.”

Kioko’s eyes met yours. “You’re such a sweetheart, (Name),” she said fondly, patting your head. “You’re always welcome to try out the things here.”

At her words, Terushima’s brown eyes twinkled. “Speaking of which,” he turned to you, “would you be down to try some coffee drinks?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “are you sure?” You look between Kioko and Terushima. “I mean, I don’t know if I have enough experience to do that.”

“Sure you do!” Terushima beamed. “You’re always so helpful whenever you’re taste-testing for Kioko!” 

“I mean-”

“(Name), it wouldn’t be that difficult,” Kioko interjected, offering you a soft smile. “You just tell Teru whether or not his drinks taste like shit and whether or not you’d buy it.”

“My drinks don’t taste like shit!” Terushima protested, whirling around to glare at Kioko. As you watch them banter, warmth settles in your heart. Is this what it feels like to hang out with friends? 

“Hey, Terushima?” you pipe up, interrupting as Kioko threatened to egg Terushima’s face. They both turn to you, Terushima’s eyebrows raising in surprise. 

“What’s up, (Nickname)?”

You fiddle with your pen anxiously under the heat of their gazes. “I’ll try your drinks.”

“Awesome!” He grinned. Terushima threw his apron on, moving to stand behind the counter. “You’re the best (Name).” 

Shaking your head, you buried your nose back into the books. “I’m just grateful to you both.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” 

Terushima raises an eyebrow at you but remains quiet as he bustles around behind the counter. You watch as he carefully pours some condensed milk into the glass over the ice-cubes, adding a bit of some type of herb and some vanilla. “Tada!” He announces, placing the glass in front of you.

“What is it?”

“Try it!” You take the glass, sniffing it. There was a spiced flavour that stung at your nose slightly but you took a deep breath and just tried it. “So? How do you like it?”

You smack your lips. “It’s..interesting. What is this?”

“This is a Thai-based iced coffee, but I added both cardamom and cinnamon for a warm-spice flavour and then some vanilla extract to sweeten the condensed milk a bit.” He wipes down the counter, eyeing your expression. “So?”

Taking another sip, you let out a soft hum. “It’s really good. It’s a little bit too sweet for me, but maybe it can pair well with a dark chocolate croissant? Or just some type of a plain pastry.” 

He takes the glass back, sipping it. Your cheeks grow hot at the idea of the indirect kiss, but you kept your mouth shut. “I think you’re right.” He grins at you. “You’re an awesome taste-tester, you know that?”

You shrug, averting your eyes. “Whatever you say, Terushima.”

****

“Try this.”

“What is this?” You wrinkle your nose, looking up from the ceramic mug that Terushima placed in front of you.

“What, don’t trust me?” He grinned. “It’ll be good for you. Promise.” 

“When you say it like that, it gives me less reason to trust you.” 

He raised his eyebrow, jutting his lip out in a small pout. “Aw, c’mon (Name)! I promise I would never hurt you. Will you just try it?”

You giggle, taking the mug in both hands. The heat seeped into your palms, warming your stiff fingers. “It smells really good.”

“Yes it does, now try it.”

You stick your tongue out at him before taking a sip. Your eyelids flutter shut as the taste of honey and milk sweep over your tongue. “This isn’t just honey milk, is it?”

“Well, sorta.” Terushima scratched the back of his neck. “It’s a warmed milk honey latte. I normally make it iced.”

“Why’d you make it warm then?”

He shrugged, making his way to slip into his seat. “You seemed really tired and stressed, so I figured it’d be a good pick me up. Was I right?”

Humming softly, you gave him a little nod. “Thanks Terushima. It’s good.” 

Terushima offered you a cheeky grin. “Anything for you, (Name).” He bumped his shoulder against yours. “Dunno what I would do if you weren’t here keeping me company.”

“You’re too sweet, Terushima.” 

*****

“So.”

“So?” You tilt your head as you look up at Terushima. The male had his elbows propped up as he observed you. 

He clears his throat. “We’ve been hanging out for months now.” Had it really been that long? Your eyebrows furrowed. “And I feel like I barely know you. So!” He leans back in his seat, turning his body to face yours completely now. “What’s your story?” 

Your mouth went dry. “My story?” 

He nods, eyes carefully scanning yours. “Y’know, you’re here every day. And I know you’re studying med, but I’m sure there’s other reasons why you’re here, right?” At his words, you flinch. His eyes widened, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to touch a sensitive subject. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He moves to go back to his work, cursing himself internally for pushing you. He should’ve waited until you brought it up to pry. A warm hand reaches out to grab his, startling him. “Wha-?”

“It’s okay, Terushima.” A ghost of a smile graces your expression. “I know I don’t really talk a lot, and I’m sure you’re curious.”

His gaze softened as his heart started beating louder. “I mean, I don’t mind. I just enjoy your company.”

You nod slowly, chewing on your bottom lip slightly as your other hand fiddled with your pen. “Did Iza tell you anything? About me, I mean.”

Terushima shook his head. “She just told me that you’d tell me yourself whenever you’re ready.” Both hands started fidgeting now, causing Terushima to grab it this time. “Hey, I’m serious. You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. I don’t mind waiting.” 

He grins earnestly at you causing you to sigh loudly. “It’s ok. I want to tell you.” You take a deep breath, sipping the gingerbread hot chocolate that Terushima had made you. “Well, like you, I was one of Iza’s classmates. We had English together.” (E/c) eyes stared into your mug. “I’m...the reason she decided to open the cafe 24 hours.”

“You?” Terushima frowned.

You let out a sheepish laugh, “yeah.” Lifting your head, you gaze off into the distance. “I live in a really toxic household,” you admit softly. “Toxic enough that I need to leave it most of the time. And Iza found out one time when she was over tutoring me.” Terushima squeezed one of your hands with an unreadable expression. You look down at your hands, squeezing his back. “Anyways, she told me that I could always come to the cafe, no matter what time and she’d let me in. This slowly became my home...things ended up getting worse and worse with my family to the point where I would be leaving at two or three in the morning sometimes.”

“(Name)...”

“It’s okay, Teru. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.” You stand up, moving to pack your stuff.

“Wait,” Terushima protested, grabbing your hands. “You don’t have to leave.”

“But-” 

Terushima shook his head, “you’re okay. I know that I’m just the barista here or whatever, but I do genuinely care for you, (Name).” He scratched his neck awkwardly. “I wanna get to know you better.” 

You blinked at him, swallowing your misgivings and pain. “You’re...you’re not scared?”

“Why would I be?” He cocked his head at you. “I mean, it’s not what I was expecting from you, but why would I see you differently for how your home life is?” Terushima squeezed your hands. “To be honest, that’s kinda the reason why Iza hired me.”

“What?” 

With Terushima’s guidance, you take your seat once more. “Well, my roommates kept kicking me out every day,” he explains solemnly. “To the point where I would end up at the cafe, and that’s why Iza decided to hire me. So that I would have somewhere to go.” He lets out a soft chuckle. “Guess it was fate!”

“Fate, huh?” You muse, staring at your intertwined fingers.

“You know what?” He snapped, his expression lightening. “Why don’t we go somewhere together?”

“What?” Your head snapped up to stare incredulously at the barista.

“Let’s go somewhere that’s not the cafe,” Terushima grinned. “We’re always here anyways. Why not try and go somewhere else together?” 

You pause, your mind reeling. Every time you’ve told your story to someone, you would end up abandoned. Izanami was the only one who didn’t do the same, and now Terushima. “...Sure.” 

If it was possible, his smile got brighter, causing you to give him one of your own. “Great!” Terushima squeezed your hand once more. “I think,” he says slowly, “that this will be the start of a beautiful relationship.”

“I didn’t know you were asking me out,” you tease softly.

He shrugs, “who knows where this’ll go!” His expression softens as he chews on his bottom lip. “But I wouldn’t mind if you don’t.”

Chewing on your lip, you shake your head. “I don’t mind either.”

*****

AN: Both Izanami and Kioko are the “Readers” from the other one-shots. 

Izanami is the Reader from Recommendations and Kioko is the Reader from Universal 

All one-shots in the Hidden Corner series exist in the same universe where characters may interact with the ‘Reader’ from the other one-shots. I will be giving each ‘Reader’ a place-holder name when they are referenced in the other one-shots to ease confusion!

This will be a side-project, so new updates will generally not be scheduled!

general taglist: @scrappydaisies​​  @newfriendjen​​

Please contact me if you would like to be a part of the Hidden Corner taglist! 💞 Check out this link for information about my taglists.

[alo-piss-trancy]

SD/R2 OMO HEADCANONS (Pt1)

Decided it was probably time for me to post a list of my omo hcs for this game since I did the THH chars! Like with the other list, I'll be excluding a couple I have no interest in thinking of omo content of (in this case, Hiy/oko and Teru/teru). I'm breaking this one into multiple posts throughout the week as I compile my thoughts (I'll add a link to all of them on the fic masterlist page later so you can find them all) because I feel this is gonna be a lot longer than my THH post haha!

Here we go, the first 3 (or 4) chars! Please stop reading now if you don't want spoilers for the game bc there will be several!!!

~~~

Gun/dham:

* I firmly hc him as vegetarian (not vegan. He will consume byproducts like milk/cheese/eggs/etc, but only harvested himself or from small farms/sources that he has personally vetted/researched where he knows 100% that the creatures are treated ethically.)

* That's actually not omo-related besides milk oops but it relates to my next point, which is that for the most part he prefers Natural food/drink. Water, fruit or vegetable juices/smoothies, etc. He's not really used to strange 'Human' confections like soda or coffee, so the caffeine and diuretics hit him hard and fast and make it difficult for him to estimate how much time he has. It also makes him jittery/hyped as hell which Does Not Help.

* As long as he isn't screwed over by caffeine or a ton of drinks, he has a decently strong bladder and can hold for a long time. He has a lot of practice from hiding/waiting to help certain animals, laying trapped under sleeping cats/dogs, etc. And also avoiding public restrooms like the Plagues they are for most of the day...

* He's bladdershy AF and has been since early childhood. I saw he had signs drawn on the doors/curtain in his room during my playthrough (including the bathroom) and that is definitely his safezone. Can't go outside either bc 1. He's paranoid he'll be seen by other ppl and 2. That feels disrespectful to the nature deities despite the logic that animals do it all the time. He knows that's dumb and he hates himself for it.

* Sometimes I do like to ignore the bladdershy hc just for some variety. Even in that case tho he'd still be a bit of a diva about which public bathrooms he uses. If it's gross or weird he's gonna avoid it/complain/refuse to go even if bursting. He's stubborn af

* We all know he canonically goes commando. Therefore he is in extra danger because any leaks will go straight to his pants RIP Since he usually wears black it isn't that visable (as long as it's just a bit and not a full wetting), but if he ever has to wear smth else u know he's screwed c':

* He's not very vocal when desperate at all. Mostly strangled whines or grunts (only when alone or if so urgent he can't hide it), he's just so easily embarrassed that he can choke most sound.

* He can also hide his body language pretty well. He can manage to keep himself to rigid posture and the occasional shudder or fidget if needed. Only when he's beyond caught and about to wet will he resort to obvious grabs or dances in front of others.

* Even if he wet he wouldn't cry (I don't seem him crying much for anything tbh, barring extreme things like death). He's angry at himself and extremely ashamed. He would get red as a tomato, attempt to slink away and avoid any witnesses for several days. Could get snippy or hide in his shell all pitiful, depending on the person.

* When alone or sure he can't be caught, he'll fidget more once things are dire. Mostly his long-ass legs. Jiggling, crossing, bending at the knees or bouncing up and down, shuffling from foot-to-foot, everything. He doesn't really do much with his hands beyond a quick crotch-squeeze.

* He'd def let Haj/ime or So/nia dom tf out of him as far as making him hold/lose control, he's submissive and enjoys the challenging test of limits. However, I could also see him totally having a thing for 'marking' his partners during the times he doms.

So/nia:

* Lowkey has a bladder of steel tbh, tho you'd never expect it by looking at her. It takes a lot to get her desperate and even more for her to crack enough to show her needs to others.

* She had a lot of long lectures/lessons, meetings, social events, formal balls, etc. growing up, so she just got used to waiting a lot between breaks so as not to interrupt or be rude to her guests. This also makes her wicked good at remaining completely calm on the outside and keeping the quiver out of her tone even when she's absolutely dying.

* Even once people know her problem, she would NEVER grab herself or dance. Literally the most you'll get out of her is legs crossed at the ankles. For the most part the only sign of her desperation is the slight fullbody shivering where she has her muscles and posture strained. If you're very lucky she may wince or her voice will start shaking/get breathy (her breathing gets super fast and shallow when at her absolute limit. Like nearly hyperventilating fast).

* While not shy at all about asking/telling others where she's going, she was raised with manners. She refuses to interrupt while others are busy, and will wait until she feels the time is appropriate to but into convos or leave the room, even if that could take a long time. She will not skip out on a group task if she can help it bc she feels very strongly about doing her part and not coming off as a slacker (so group investigations/new island exploring/building for Us/ami in Island Mode are all LONG tasks she will force herself to stick out without complaint, even if she's about to wet herself).

* Despite being a princess, she definitely doesn't view anything as being 'beneath' her. If someone asks her to just go outside/in a sketchy place/strange receptacle, she'll do it without question as soon as they agree to glance away. In fact, sometimes it's actually a little thrilling.

* If she did wet herself she would certainly be embarrassed, maybe even teary-eyed depending on the situation/who was around. However, it certainly isn't the end of the world for her, and she would be able to brush it off fairly easily once she got cleaned up and had a chance to breathe. Could probably start making jokes about it by the next day, or just wait patiently for everyone to forget about it.

* Probably has a big piss kink (for others. She isn't much on doing holds herself, minus an occasional 'Damsel in Distress' type roleplay). And honestly just a big one for domming others (sometimes sweetly, sometimes cold/cruel like True Royalty). She looks cute but She Nasty (tm). Gun/dham and Haji/me (to a lesser extent, bc his smart-ass take-no-shit attitude makes him a bit of a brat sometimes lol) are her bitches.

M/ikan (I have to split hers in two bc I have polar opposite hcs) :

Non-Despair M/ikan -

* Is every bit as shy uwu ohnoooo~ as you'd imagine. Super blushy and fidgety and teary-eyed but never admits what's wrong even once it's obvious, to the point of potty-dancing in place (but she's Totally Fine she can hang in there and doesn't need to stop what she's doing)! You literally have to drag her away to the bathroom if u don't want her to have an accident. Would rather die than inconvenience anyone by telling them she has to go, will berate herself for the inconvenience when that backfires and she's made a mess of herself, 120% convinced everyone hates her and p much refuses any comfort bc she's so trapped in the spiral. Bawls her eyes out.

* If on a rare occasion she does work up the nerve to speak up and is denied, that's it. She will not dare ask again even if the person didn't realize how badly she had to go. Nope. Clearly her only option is to hold it until she can't anymore, or until she's alone and can run off by herself.

*Also she totally would whimper to herself in The Worst omo video star voice lmao "Oh noooo I'm leaking into my panties~, it's cOmIng OuTtttt~ uwu uwu uwu" (i'm not making fun of those istg but u know Exactly what 'sexy baby' voice I mean. That is Mi/kan. Don't be so fake bitch We Know u didn't fall spread eagle naturally)

* Says 'Potty' unironically. It's the only word she uses for the bathroom.

* Surprisingly not bladdershy at all. She's actually the opposite. Will go Anywhere (but will be embarrassed while doing it).

* She's used to holding a lot bc afraid to leave class/stuck helping patients for hours on end. However while she has a wicked high capacity and stays very hydrated, she has pretty shaky control. Leaks A LOT, be it in general or bc she gets startled/nervous. She's like a chihuahua lmao. She wears medical liners when on duty as a nurse or during school, but for general hangouts she forgoes them (totally bc she forgot and Not bc she wanted to show her wet panties off to strangers/peers when she falls again, that would be Slu/tty and Improper).

* Once held for ages and then ended up wetting herself just bc Hiy/oko told her to. It wasn't actually a request, just a one-off snippy comment that H forgot about like 10 min after she said it and walked away. When she found out Mi/kan took it seriously she absolutely lost it laughing for the next few days

*Her potty dances include lots of thighs rubbing together/hunching over, hands wandering dangerously close only to pause and grip her skirt/dress hem, hopping from leg to leg and shaking at the knees. She's pitiful when desperate and very cute. Pants and whimpers near constantly, nibbles at her knuckles to try and muffle it.

* Knows when she's at risk of actual damage from holding, but it's still a 50/50 shot of whether she'll break down and go or keep trying to hold. She knows it's unwise, but due to her complete lack of self worth she doesn't really care if her own body is damaged.

* That said, she monitors everyone else very closely and will harass them firmly to take breaks if they're at risk.

Despair/True Mik/an -

* MASSIVE PISS KI/NK. Loves to be dommed/told to hold until she wets. LOVES to do the same to others and tell them all the mean things for a change. She will borderline Break You.

* Takes great satisfaction in watching others struggle. If given an opportunity to make others desperate/prevent them from getting to a bathroom without revealing herself, she will definitely take it. She has no sympathy.

* The Queen of lacing things with diuretics, but can also often find that boring/too easy. A bit disdainful of that method tbh.

* Tying ppl down to hold or hooking them to IVs and 'misplacing' the call button is more her style.

* Used to hold for Jun/ko a lot to appease her. Would be willing to hold for Na/gito, but tbh he's just as willing to hold for her so it's a bit of a stalemate and they've yet to work out who does what.

* Will piss on her victim/lover while staring them directly in the eyes. Does not flinch. She toes the line between sexy and just plain creepy lol

[myunsilencedmind]

why do I keep sabotaging my own self?

why?

because it’s already ruined. so why should I respect myself? I had given up on my life. I’m totally tired of everything, okay? it feels like I’m digging my own graveyard... life has been so dark. I can not find the lights. even when God shows me some lights but no god, I’m tired. totally tired.

sebenernya kan pola pikir gelap hanya ada dalam isi pikiranku saja. akunya mau berubah tidak untuk melihat dunia ini dari sisi terang?

hidup kan tidak bisa semau jidat aku. ada aturan mainnya juga loh.

sekarang gini ya... aturan main untuk aku yang besar di lingkungan yang hitam dan mencoba menjadi ‘putih’ tuh ga mudah loh. rasanya kaya aku masih terjebak di lingkaran setan dimana aku terus mengulang pola kesalahan yang sama.

THIS WORLD IS NOT THAT SAFE! I’M SCARED LIKE SHIT.

aku gak mau lah sendirian ngadepin ini. aku tuh pengecut tau

oh berarti kamu ga percaya tuhan maha penolong?

kan kamu udah dikasih tau jangan ini itu ini itu. tapi kamu kenapa malah ngerjain ini itu ini itu. ya salah kamu lalai

kamu ingin dapat hidup yang terbaik tapi kamu kenapa ga mau mengikuti aturan allah?

kan sudah dibilangin di alquran juga. apa yang menurut manusia baik tapi kalo dimata allah itu ga baik, ya gimana. kebijaksanaan manusia ga seluas kebijaksanaan allah

aku harus percaya bahwa allah yang bakalan nolong aku layaknya allah selama ini nolong aku? tapi hati aku ga sekuat itu ya allah... aku tuh nista... aku ga sesabar itu...

nanti kalo aku ga sabar, aku bakalan dikasih ujian kesabaran terus yang luar biasa dong... aku mah dikasih ujian dikit, lulus dikit, diapresiasi dikit, eh sombong dan lupa diri. atuh gimana kamu teh chi.

yaudah lah ya. hari ini aku menyadari dua kelalaian. 1) aku buka instagram lama dan baca dm temen2 karena penasaran dan ingin tau bagaimana kondisi mereka -- yang justru malah membuka sinyal permasalahan baru. 2) karena aku menjalani sesuatu yang harusnya udah aku stop dari lama sih.

Why do I keep sabotaging myself? Because I have given up on my life.

I want the shortcut to gain some security in life; I feel alone and don’t feel secure. I’m tired of being alone. I don’t want to fight this problem alone. I’m scared. I need a friend. I want to lean on something like a human. Can I? NO YOU STUPID. I’m totally a mess, and I’m weak. Human is weak. But god is not weak, achi.

I’m repeating the same mistake and pattern because... I’m stupid, and I don’t know why. kenapa aku malah membuka pintu kandang macan sih? macannya kan jadi bisa dateng lagi...  why can’t I defend myself? Because without them controlling me, I still feel controlled.

Empowering myself is a challenge. I always believe that it has to be started from the outside. But how do others respect me when I disrespect myself? Gaining self-esteem problems post-abusive life is hard...

ya allah... membangun diri dikala aku juga harus berhadapan dengan masalah yang pernah aku perbuat karena kebodohanku dan berhadapan dengan gangguan-gangguan dari yang lain tuh ga mudah. aku mah lemah. kalo suatu hari nanti ada konsekuensi besar atas apa yang aku perbuat, yaudah lah. trus aku harus gimana. hidup susah amat.

[thecursestillringstrue]

Sebagai nasihat juga untuk diri sendiri, bahwa kita perlu untuk selalu menyalakan empati. Perlu untuk terus memberi makan empati kita agar terus hidup dan bisa memiliki ruang yang luas untuk memahami beragam keadaan.

Seringkali kita terlalu terbawa oleh stereotype hingga mengkerdilkan pencapaian/pekerjaan orang lain. Padahal tidak semua individu memiliki minat, kemampuan, dan situasi yang sama. Anyway kerja itu tentang eksistensi diri, besar atau kecil, apapun pekerjaannya pasti berdampak.

Ironisnya, judging sekarang jadi salah satu materi basa-basi. Sebenarnya kasian dengan yang belum tau prosesnya. Belum tau gimana effortnya, gimana nyari ide, siap dengan jadwal ke depannya, tryin’ to stay keep up with the schedule, bikin konsep, dsb. But they literally can’t stop judging. They find judging has become as easy as breathing.

Sebenarnya tidak ada ruginya memberikan sedikit apresiasi. Atau jika keberatan, ada baiknya memilih diam. Because every words matter. They can BREAK or BUILD someone's last hope.

I hope those who don’t know shit don’t cross the line, because basicly i don’t like to make a fuzz. I’ll match your respect, but I’ll top your disrespect. Don’t fukk with me.

I don’t give a fukk about what everyone’s doing, if you aim to be the best of it, you’ve already earn my respect whole heartedly, even if it’s the world’s best cleaning service.

I’m also not competing with anybody. I proved what i need to prove. I achieved what God wanted me to. Please let me do anything with peace

[teru-teru-bozu]

The Scar

(How Teru got his scar.)

It was supposed to be a good night. A fun night.

The two of them had gone outside drinking, reveling in saké and freedom the only way eighteen-year-old boys could. Teru had drunken quite the quantity, but less for the buzz and more for the opportunity to wrap an arm around Jun, and claim that it was for balance. The brunet rarely allowed such actions of affection, and Teru exploited the chance while he could.

Jun, though—he had drunken much, much more. And by some mystery of his bodily constitution, Jun only became sharper when he drank; his eyes focused more, his fingers tapped less. And as his control increased, so did his brutality and bloodthirstiness.

That drunken samurai who bumped into Jun and made the fatal mistake of saying ‘drunk peasant’ and ‘Kiri-sute gomen’ was a first-hand witness to that brutality.

Jun had driven his sword into the man’s left eye and out through his skull, causing screams to ring and weapons to be drawn inside the izakaya. Teru didn’t mind—he had done somewhat the same thing the last time they went drinking—and Jun had laughed after that, grabbed Teru’s hand, then they ran outside,  speeding down the streets with drunken abandon. It was a good thing they found some hapless carriage driver to take them back to Gensai’s mansion.

That was supposed to be fun. That was supposed to be something for them to forget in the morning, after Jun had laid his focus on Teru for the night. But Gensai had greeted them by the genkan with a blank face.

Apparently, Gensai had sent some servant—some stupid, shitty, talkative servant—to trail them when they left. And trailed them the servant did; he came back to report as soon as Jun killed that stranger.

Gensai barked words and dragged them over to the shrine, where their teacher’s katana and wakizashi rested on a kake. And now here they were, Jun and him sitting, their master’s raging words an incomprehensible flood in Teru’s ears. Jun was all schooled features and perfect posture, but Teru couldn’t be bothered. He was too drunk for this. Everything was bright and warm, sitting on the tatami floor made him want to sleep, and the sounds were all muddled—

Then he heard the unmistakable ring of a sword being unsheathed.

Teru jumped, instinct and training clearing his head immediately. He could hear loud, raised voices—what the hell is going on..? Gensai had his unsheathed sword in hand, and he was shouting, his face the perfect picture of fury. And Jun...

He looked afraid. Teru had never seen him look so afraid.

“—you act without thinking of consequences!” Gensai shouted. “That is unbecoming of a samurai—it disobeys everything I taught you about the warrior’s conduct. Do you even know who you murdered? That was a lieutenant; a samurai on leave from the army!”

Jun was gritting his teeth, fingers clenching the fabric of his hakama. “He threatened to kill me, Sensei.”

“It was a drunken threat, nothing more.”

“Where’d you hear that? From your servant?”

“Yes.”

Jun’s mouth twisted into a grin. “You’re taking some servant’s word over mine?”

“Yes,” Gensai said again, coldly. The grin fell off Jun’s face. “You killed a lieutenant. Do you understand the mess you’ve made?” Gensai sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “In a proper school... such actions would merit banishment.”

“What?!” Jun exclaimed, half-standing. “You’ll expel me, just—just because of some drunken silkwearer?!”

An outburst such as that was the height of disrespect... yet Gensai did nothing, only narrowed his eyes.

“I didn’t say anything yet,” their master replied. “I am offering you a choice. Leave this school or lose an eye.”

“...what?”

Teru felt a chill run down his spine. No.

Gensai gripped his sword hilt tight with his right hand, and laid the blade on his left. It was perfectly balanced, and he was perfectly calm. “Your training or your eye. Which would you rather lose?”

“You... you can’t be serious...”

Gensai approached him, and Jun stood up, completely out of conduct, a contrast to his earlier picture of a perfect student. He staggered a few steps back as Gensai asked again, “Your training or your eye?”

“You’re insane!” Jun yelled.

“Will you leave this school?”

“Like hell I will!”

Gensai nodded. “The eye it is, then.” He approached Jun, and Teru saw with horror that Jun was reaching for his own sword—

“Stop it!” Teru cried.

Two pairs of eyes turned to look at him. Teru quivered at the sight of Gensai—his calm demeanor and coolness was false; the knuckles holding the katana were white, and his eyes—

They were gold.

Next to their teacher, Jun looked like a frightened youth. Teru breathed in deep and bowed to their master.

“Sensei,” Teru said, in the most charming, deferring voice he could—gods knew how he kept his voice from shaking—“I was present when Jun committed that dishonor. He had drunken more than I did, and I in my greater sobriety should have stopped him. But I didn’t.” He bowed further, forehead touching the floor. “He was under influence, while I allowed it to happen. If the fault is to be traced to anyone, it is me. I—” what’s that fancy word again? “—beseech... you to have mercy upon Jun.”

Teru had no idea what was going to happen, what might happen to him for speaking like so—he knew that it probably wasn’t going to end right for him, but—

Jun.

Gensai went silent, ruminating. “You would take Jun’s punishment?”

Something cold stabbed at Teru’s gut. There was no ‘mercy’ in Gensai. To him, it was a word and concept as foreign as the traders in Dejima.

Gods, Teru thought, the cold in him spreading, it was just supposed to be a fun night, I didn’t expect—I don’t want—

“Well?”

Jun.

“...the... the eye.”

“Raise your head.”

Teru did. He was suddenly glad that he had drunken—everything was strange and seemed to be covered in a filter. His head was swimming. Nothing seemed real, not even Gensai approaching him, certainly not the bright edge of his katana. This can’t be happening. It was just supposed to be a fun night—

Gensai stood in front of him. He looked like a samurai about to execute Teru. Fear stabbed at his chest, an icy sword bleeding more cold into his blood, making him numb. This can’t be happening, this can’t—

“If you scream, I’m taking the other one as well.” Gensai’s voice was as steady as his grip on his sword. “Stay still.”

This can’t be happening—

And then it happened.

It was like fire was slashing across his face, searing, burning, whipping his head back like a well-placed punch. Yet Teru didn’t cry out—he had bitten his tongue, and now he tasted the tang of blood in his mouth, smelled it as something warm and slick poured down over the left side of his face.

Oh gods, it hurts. It hurts. The fire had melted away, leaving the dry, piercing sensation of salt being rubbed into one’s wounds, a  sharp, radiating burn that made him want to scream and lay a hand on his eye just to make it stop. It was painful, painful, more agonizing than the blows he suffered during training, than the hits and cuts he sustained before Gensai found him. It felt like half of his face had been suddenly, quickly flayed.

Distantly, Teru could hear a choking whimper, and he realized that was himself. He bit down on his lips to keep quiet, and he tasted even more of the iron tang. By some miracle of the gods, he had stayed still. He was still upright even though all of him wanted to wrap his hands in his hair and scream.

“Open your eyes.” Gensai’s tone was smooth and even, as if had finished a cup of tea and not cut someone across the face.

I can’t. It hurt too much, and he was afraid. His hands were trembling, and he could feel tears aching at the back of his throat. It hurts. Teru had closed his eyes when the blade swung down. He had been afraid to look, he was still afraid to look. He didn’t want to see his own eye fall to the floor.

He didn’t want to see a mirror ever again.

Yet despite everything—despite the burning pain and the fear for his face and the underlying worry of infection—all he could think was ‘Jun.’

“Open your eyes!” That was a tone that didn’t leave any room for questioning. Teru bowed slightly, and obeyed.

Held-back tears and sweat had crusted his lashes together—Teru had to blink several times to fully see what was in front of him: his shaking fists, Gensai’s feet, the shiny floor being sullied by the blood dripping off his face. It was a clear view.

And he realized that both of his eyes were open.

He blinked, his breath coming up in harsh pants—his hand went to the left of his face, quivering fingers trailing along a bloodied cheek. He could sense the edge of the cut, where the pain pulsed—it stretched all the way to his ear. It was hairsbreadths below his eye.

Relief knocked the wind out of him—he released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and gaped at his teacher.

There was a strange expression on his face—it was disappointment mingled with a resemblance of pride. Gensai swiftly wiped the blood—my blood—off his katana and returned it to his sheath, a clank echoing in the air when he did so. Then his black eyes shot to Jun.

“A real samurai knows when to face his end,” Gensai said, softly, venomously. “You’re a coward, Jun.”

Jun jerked like he had been punched. His eyes moved down to the floor, his head bowed in a respectful manner. But he didn’t bow to be respectful—he bowed to hide the snarl on his face.

Gensai stood and shouted for a Kondo servant, for bandages and a bucket of water. Then he left, his calm footfalls a stark contrast to the way he had raged just moments ago.

The silence was deafening. I’m not the only one wounded by Gensai tonight. “Jun—“ Teru began, but he broke off when the love of his life glared at him with roiling, unconcealed hatred.

That felt more painful than the wound on his face.

“You just had to get involved!” Jun yelled. “I’m not some maiden in need of protecting, you bastard, now Gensai—“

“What, you wanted me to simply stand by?” On other days, Teru would return rage with rage, but now he was too tired and everything hurt, everything burned. He had to close his left eye and he gently cupped it, hands brushing red slick. “You were going to fight him and—Jun, for fuck’s sake... I don’t need your anger right now.”

I need you. He felt weak, and Teru couldn’t bring himself to stand. It hurts.

Jun stared at him for a long time, his face unreadable. His eyes, his thoughts, seemed to be hidden by a paper screen, a screen that Teru wanted to pry away. Jun approached him and crouched. He slid a hand beneath Teru’s bloodstained chin, pulling his face upwards. His thumb rested on Teru’s lower lip.

The pain faded, for an instant.

Then Jun smirked, his eyes narrowed at the blood-strewn side of Teru’s face. “You look ugly,” he muttered.

Teru flinched, and Jun laughed—a short, pained laugh—before he exited the room, the slamming of door panels deafening in the silence of his wake.

When the Kondo servant came, he was lucky that Teru was too shaken to do anything. Had it been another day, Teru would have killed him.

[secretshinigami]

Hyoid

Author: casuistor For: mklt Pairings/Characters: Light Yagami, Teru Mikami Rating/Warnings: General  Prompt: “Mikami/Light , walking home together” Author’s notes: This is a post-canon divergent AU where both Light and Teru survive the events of the warehouse and find themselves sharing a cell for the indefinite future. Teru does not have memories of using the death note because Near burned the notes at the end. Light has his memories intact because I’m assuming he was able to switch the death note in the Task Force’s possession out for a fake one. Given that I wanted this to be more based in canon I did end up interpret “walking home together” a bit uh.. liberally. You did specify a preference for hateships after all :P Anyway, I really hope you enjoy!)

Compared to the average Japanese, Mikami Teru has a strong sense of right and wrong. What was “good” and what was “evil” did not require an explanation. His sense of justice was innate, and like a compass unerringly led to a path of righteousness. Teru had no need for anything else – he was just because he did not know how else to live, and his way of living was just because that was the only way his way of life could be. It was a convenient tautology that could have been taken from the pages of any logic textbook as an example of fallacy, but he’d never acknowledged it as such. Some things in life were simply true by definition.

Even as he became a prisoner hidden behind locked doors somewhere in the bowels of Tokyo, he was still desperate to find ways to make the narrative of what occurred at Daikoku Wharf, if not clean of any personal culpability, then at the very least more palatable. It simply doesn’t make sense that an unremarkable (albeit unusually unscheduled) visit to the bank on the 26th of January could play an instrumental role in the end of an era of divine justice.

Suppressing a violent shudder, Teru clasps his hands together tightly as he sits on the edge of his narrow cot and tries not to breathe too loudly. On the inside, he hasn’t stopped screaming.

The smell of chlorhexidine soap coming from the man sharing his cell fills Teru’s nostrils, but there are no chemicals potent enough to make him forget how the scent of that man’s blood had made the back of his throat burn with vomit.

The cell is small for one person as it is, and Teru no longer knows why he expected to be detained privately. This is, by design, surely meant to be a personal hell. Not just for him, but for that man too. In a way, he supposes he’s relieved that he left his glasses at home for some peculiar reason this morning. No need to look at the imposter in crisp resolution.

Hours pass in silence as Teru cycles between the need to claw at the walls of his new home and willing himself to fossilize on the spot in anticipation of an inevitable confrontation. For years he’d yearned for the god’s arrival, and every day since his dearest hopes became reality, he’d dreamed giddily of one day walking alongside his god. Metaphorically speaking.

God never had a face in those innocent fantasies. God was protean and immutable, unknowable and familiar all at once and nothing made Teru happier. Even when it became increasingly clear that god was indeed a person rather than a truly divine force of will, Teru had simply recalibrated. God wasn’t defined by a physical form.

But you? You’re not god. You can’t be god. God would never fail. God would never have let this happen. God would never–

And so his thoughts continued, until Yagami Light made a benign noise – a cough, a sniffle or a shiver – and startle Teru so badly that he’d forget that he’d been adhering to a sensible policy of staring pointedly at his own hands and feet.

Yagami Light is very human and very much in pain. Lying in a cot with the thin blanket pulled up to his nose, brow furrowed and eyes squeezed shut, Yagami looks no older than a teenager fresh out of high school. A sickly, pale boy like that couldn’t have been the leader of a movement to change the world – alleged magical notebooks and shinigami be damned.

Teru can only suppose that it’s physical pain that’s keeping Yagami’s mouth shut for the time being. When Yagami Light had been carted away in an ambulance, there’d been nobody in the world that Teru had wanted answers from more. Now that they’re prisoners together, every second is leeching years off his life. Arguably that can only be a good thing. He closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands.

Perhaps beyond these walls, Kira was still carrying out judgments and Yagami Light’s true purpose was to serve as a decoy for god, and Yagami Light had dutifully deceived everyone at the warehouse. Perjaps Teru himself was merely the sacrificial lamb of a sacrificial lamb. The fact that he’s even entertaining something this ridiculous ought to be reason to stop, but a bitter ‘God could have cut out the middleman’ is all he can manage to think through the band of pressure squeezing his head.

A bodily gnawing pain grows in intensity and his breath gets sourer and sourer, but when a tray of food is pushed through a slot in the door, Teru ignores it. He’d been so excited this morning that he’d rushed through his breakfast. And for what? I don’t deserve this, I want –

A lawyer. One phone call. He could leave a message for Nakajima; she was a reliable sort.

Nakajima-san, I’ve been abducted and am currently being held prisoner somewhere in Tokyo. Please promptly inform the chief of why I will not be at work for the foreseeable future and then request a police investigation on my behalf, thank you.

The futility of such desires threatens to swallow Teru whole. Save me. Help me. I want to go home. God…

Rather foolishly, Teru steals a glance at the man across the room.

Misa! Takada! Mikami, what are you doing? Hury up and write down their names!! Teru’s throat constricts with sudden outrage. You can’t save me, you couldn’t even save yourself. You’re not god. This is all your fault.

“Mikami.”

Immediately Teru gets to his feet, fists balled. He has half a mind to correct the man speaking to him, but feeling too tired to bother with a pointless argument, resigns himself to leading by example.

“Yagami-san.”

Teru’s palms are coated with a thin film of sweat. He wouldn’t have dared call a true god by name without permission, but he does so now. And we both know why. Truthfully, he’s a little proud of his defiance, but the sentiment is undercut by the fact that Yagami doesn’t have the decency to acknowledge the disrespect as a proper insult.

“I’ve evaluated the situation and I’ve determined that the only way that everything makes sense is to assume that your name was written in the note.”

When it’s clear that the remark was meant to provoke a reaction other than ’you can’t be so dim as to miss the fact that I’m alive’ Teru replies with dry contempt. “I see.” Say something useful, damn you.

Yagami sits up slowly, gingerly moving one leg over the side of his cot after another  His discomfort is obvious, but Teru can’t help but feel he thoroughly deserves it.

“Sit.”

It’s unquestionably an order, and one that Yagami clearly expects compliance with. Teru isn’t a man who is contrary for the sake of being contrary, but this… He opens his mouth to fire a retort.

“Or stand if you prefer. It makes no difference to me,” Yagami finishes with an audible shrug.

Teru narrows his eyes. “I’ll do that without your permission, thank you,” he says coolly. Strained civility isn’t particularly satisfying, but he can’t seem to marshal his thoughts without it.

Yagami raises an eyebrow incredulously, and Teru’s fists tighten.

“As you wish. But as it appears that we’ll be imprisoned together for now, don’t you think hostility is wasted energy? I’d rather not provide our captors with entertainment.”

On some level Teru sees a grain of truth in this, but that only makes Yagami all the more despicable. “You presume to lecture about dignity.” The vindication he gets when Yagami narrows his eyes is exhilarating enough that he’s able to sit down without feeling servile.

“No,” he says after a drawn out pause. “I was talking about a theory. You insisted on a more frivolous subject.”

Teru exhales forcefully as though punched in the gut. He’d never been one for laughter before, but with his face pressed into the rubble of the world as he’d always known it, all that’s left is unorganized, petrifying chaos with Yagami Light’s face.

“What could possibly be more frivolous than theories that don’t have meaning? Will that theory undo the irreparable damage you’ve done?”

Yagami’s jaw tightens, as they lock eyes. “Trusting you to understand a set of simple instructions was foolish.” A beat. “It must be convenient to simply forget your own oversight.”

Teru purses his lips, thoroughly disgusted that moments ago, he’d stretched the limits of his imagination to rebrand this man as a person who might be in a similar situation to himself.

“Assuming your knowledge of the powers of this ‘death note’ is complete and accurate, how would you know that your name wasn’t also written?”

The question doesn’t seem to faze Yagami. His tone is the most confident it has been all conversation. The SPK had taken his tie, as a “necessary precaution" but Teru is no longer sure who that was meant to protect.  

“Because writing my name in the note to force a confession would’ve been meaningless. You were merely a means to an end. You were the person I was relying on. Turning you against me would’ve been strategically optimal, though impossible given your beliefs. But you gave them an opening by killing Takada on your own. You led the SPK to the note by going to the bank and they’ve been controlling your actions ever since.”

An icy silence. Going from having too many words to know what to say to having none at all seems to rip open a vacuum. Teru doesn’t fully understand how the poison coming out of Yagami’s lips could possibly be true, but he stares with magnetized revulsion. The continued  insistence on an alternate reality that makes just a little too much sense to safely dismiss offhand numbs him from head to toe. If he’d been chosen by Kira, there’s no question that he would have dutifully and delightedly carried out god’s will. I wanted to be seen by Kira. I didn’t want this.

Somewhat anticlimactically, it’s Teru’s stomach that ends the standstill with a squelch of displeasure. “You have no proof.”

“Should you die within the next twenty-one days, that’ll be sufficient proof. The note can only control a person’s actions for twenty three days.”

Now fully aware that Yagami is actively waiting for him to drop dead, Teru turns his back on the despicable boy who might have been god. 

“I used to dream about walking by your side. They were nice dreams then.”

[kevinesther]

Kasih yang sejati

1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 (TPT)

Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else . Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance.

Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense.

Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong.

Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.

Aku baca ayat ini udah berulang-ulang tapi setiap kali aku baca aku tetap selalu takjub dan semakin sadar makna kasih yang sesungguhnya. Betapa powerfull dan luarbiasa kasih yang dari Tuhan dan kasih itu juga yang Tuhan pengen buat kita miliki Ayat ini kaya merangkum semuanya.

Ayat ini juga sekaligus menjadi pengingat buat aku bahwa mungkin punya kasih yang sempurna itu ga mudah tapi hidup ini adalah pembelajaran yang tidak akan pernah berhenti sampai kita mati, artinya kita harus terus belajar untuk menjadi Kasih, menjadi representasi kasihnya Tuhan di bumi dan mengasihi orang lain lebih dan lebih lagi.

Kasih adalah sebuah keputusan yang tidak tergantung kepada respon orang yang kita kasihi. Sama seperti Tuhan yang sungguh telah mengasihi kita meskipun kita tidak sempurna penuh dosa dan hina tapi Dia tetep sayang sama kita.

Yuk belajar untuk ambil keputusan untuk mengasihi dengan sungguh-sungguh:) Selamat hari kasih sayang!

God loves you, so do I❤

14/02/2020

-EAR

[seattle-fog]

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