#stolas...you know how to pick em

[sadhornydemons]

Running into your crush decades later and one of first things you ask him:

And his response?

[cosmic--dandelion]

Next time you're listening to "Look My Way" and fighting back tears at the sheer scope and beauty of the song, remember that Stolas is sobbing and absolutely pouring his heart out about this guy:

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Random HB headcanons / thoughts I guess

(tw for some sexual mentions and cursing )

Mammon fucking HATES jingle bell rock

Asmodeus sending fizz "send this to someone you love!" Type of videos and fizz sends shit like this

Just the thought that asmodeus ( the embodiment of lust ) believes love is not love without consent is honestly a great detail

Also thinking about how fizzarolli has eyebags

Millie can use a bow and arrowwwww

I think the human versions of blitzø and his family are indigenous, idk the nose and the skin tone, it might be a long shot but I like the idea yk

Also love seeing indigenous characters

Stolas loving outer space that's canon right

Imagine him as a kid just reading a shit ton of books about space and in any occurrence it's brought up now you know how the universe is going to end

Blitzø: I just need space-

Stolas: SPACE???????

I think after Octavia gets out of her super angsty teenager phase ( do not come after me I know it's more than an angsty "mom leave me alone I wanna be famous" thing, I'm kidding ) she would really like indie music

Like indie rock if that makes any sense

" with ♥️ from Ozzie " ON EVERYTHING OZ GIVES FIZZ URGAJF

I'm sorry but there neeeeeddsss to be more Millie appreciation

I kinda wish there was an episode that centers around her yk ?

Do you think imps nipples are white too like scars and freckles or am I weird

Ozzie posting on everything " YES THE RUMORS ARE TRUE THIS IS MY FUCKING SOULMATE" because for some reason there was a lot of controversy and debate if it was real or not

Then next to it it's a picture of him and fizz

People were PISSED

I thought mamom was played by bluey's dad bandit if I'm being completely honest I'm so sorry

Millie is spider man moxxie is hello kitty

Stella likes soup. What is she eating now? Oh some fucking soup. What's wrong with her icecub- SHE FROZE THE SOUP TO MAKE ICE CUBES-

Loona has a very bad picking at her skin habit, not really with her face but with her legs and arms ( human form obviously )

I LOVE HOW MUCH BLITZØ LOVES LOONA IM SORRYYYY

Fizz posting " FUCK ALL OF YOU" on all of his socials , deleting everything ( especially the sexually explicit things )

I think being a part of the circus is equivalent to trailer trash in hell

I mean look at em

I love it

Human form Ozzie would have THE MOST luscious hair ever

This image just says so much about them as a pair it kills me

The way the animators just go above and beyond is just amazing to me

How did fizzarolli get the 2 minutes notice thing planned so quickly...........

" IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪 IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪🤞🏼"

Fizz over sharing as a teenager ( not projecting )

THAT ONE SCENW QITH STOLAS MOVING STELLAS HAND LITERALLY MADE MY FUCKING JAW DROP HOLY SHIT

HES LITERALLY TAKING BACK HIS LIFE

fizz really thought in "oops!" That he wasn't gonna make it out of the fire again

Like bro just put his knees to his chest and CRIED

IDK RHATS SK SAD TO MEEEE

Speaking of fizz how did that mark in the next episode get there? What was that? Idk if it was maybe a bruise from.. something.. I don't wanna say it was from mamon because that would defeat the purpose of his character being EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE and that emotional abuse is still abuse, but idk some people said it might be because of him?

Can you tell I'm obsessed with fizzarolli

The sexual harassment rep.... People who have experienced sh usually think "it's not as bad as *other s3xual trauma* so I'm just being dramatic" ( I say this from experience ) but it ABSOLUTELY IS AND SHOULD BE RECOGNIZED. It's still something you're not comfortable with. Fizz brushing it off as "oh well they're just fans who express their love differently!" Should not have been taught to him.

I'm not slightly projecting again. Nuh uh

Ozzie can play saxophone. He just gives me the vibe.

MILLIE CANNOTTTT KEEP A PLANT ALIVE FOR SHIT BRO

MOXXIE?? UH MAYBE A MONTH. 2 MAX. MILLIE? ITS DEAD WITHIN A DAY.

Loona: I AM NOT PUTTING THAT ON

blitzø: JUST ONE FUCKING FAMILY PICTURE LOONA-

Beezlebubs design just screams if kesha. Even if they didn't mean to.

Millie getting stuck in trees as a kid and being too scared to get down

Was Barbies real name barbie or is that a nickname? Or was it for the sake of the circus ( like blitzøs name being .. well blitzø )

Millie name is short for Amelia maybe? People used to call her Lia but she hated it so much she started writing her nickname Millie on everything.

People saying they hated / thought the stolas human design could've been better can go FUCK themselves HONESTLY

Blitzø and fizzs as teenagers going to their town center and being like "?????? Why is everything so FANCY it's AMAZING"

Octavia can't handle spicy things for SHIT

Look at their British asses

They cough at smelling PEPPER

Stolas just randomly texting Octavia "you're so beautiful darling! Have a nice day <3 -your dad" or "don't forget to eat! -your dad" ( he texts like that IDC )

FUCK STELLA ME AND MY HOES HATE THAT BITCH

Octavia writes poetry! It's actually really good

Okay so I have this headcanon that in the HELLUVA BOSS universe that songs like contoursionist, toxic ( by ashnikko ), tunnel vision and agorah hills, NYMPHOLOGY, and he has this "one last show" thing where he preforms these songs and HE IS SCREAMING SOME OF HIS OWN SONGS

But that would also defeat his character development so I'll just imagine him singing this songs in the car or smth

Mamon having to do some toxic gossip train shit

I WANMA SAY OZZIE HAS TWO OLDER SISTERS BUT IDK IF THAT WOULD WORKKKKK

Millie kills the spider.

I think that may be all okay byeeee

[hes-striker]

The room is filled with the sounds of chaos. Wesson is perched on the back of the couch, foam dart gun in hand, grinning like he’s just won the jackpot. His twin sister, Winnie, is crouched behind a fort made of pillows, her imp doll clutched tightly in one hand.

Wesson: *cackling* Gotcha, Winnie!
*He fires the dart, which flies wide, landing harmlessly on the floor*

Winnie: *popping her head out with a triumphant grin* You missed, dummy!
*She retaliates by hurling the plush imp doll at him. It smacks Wesson square in the face, making him wobble precariously on the couch*

Blitzø: *from the kitchen, wearing an apron that reads “Hell’s Best Dad”*
Hey! No killing your brother before breakfast! *He turns, holding a mixing bowl in one hand and a whisk in the other*

Wesson: *rubbing his face with an exaggerated pout* She started it!

Winnie: Ladies don’t start fights but we sure can finish them!

Stolas: *seated at the table, sipping coffee and scrolling through work documents* Darling, you know they don’t listen to you.
He chuckles softly, his feathers fluffing up as he glances over at Blitzø.

Blitzø: *pointing the whisk at Stolas, mock offended* Oh, they listen! They just choose violence anyway.

The doorbell suddenly rings, cutting through the chaos. Blitzø sets down the mixing bowl with a sigh and heads to the door. Before he can reach it, the door bursts open slightly, revealing Maddie, Millie and Moxxie’s shy daughter, peeking through timidly, along with Moxxie and Millie standing behind her.

Millie: Morning Blitz! We just got a call from a client! An Overlord Client.

Blitzø: Whoa! Hot damn! That’s pretty good! But I’m making breakfast so it’ll have to wait!

Stolas: I can finish up. You can head into the office dear.

Blitzø: *waving the whisk in mock protest* But I was gonna make my famous hell pancakes! You know, the ones that only occasionally set off the smoke alarms.

Stolas: *smirking as he stands and gracefully takes the mixing bowl from Blitzø’s hands* Darling, I think the children—and our insurance—will survive if I handle breakfast this time.

Blitzø: *snorting* Alright, featherbutt, you win. Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone. Kids, behave for your very fancy Dad! 
He ruffles Wesson’s hair as the little imp hops off the couch and smacks his sister with a foam dart on the way down.

Wesson: *cheekily* You heard Dad—behave, Winnie!

Winnie: *grinning as she chucks another plushie at him* He said both of us, Wess!

Millie: *grinning as she steps fully inside, Maddie clutching her hand* Now go in Maddie. Papa and I will be back later to pick you up!

Maddie: You p’womise?

Moxxie: *smiling lovingly at his daughter* We promise *he kneels down and kisses Maddie’s cheek*

Millie: *giving Maddie a quick hug* You’re gonna have so much fun with Wesson and Winnie. Ain’t that right, kids?

Wesson: *grinning mischievously, bouncing on his feet* Yeah, Maddie! We’ll teach you how to build an even better pillow fort!

Winnie: *smiling warmly, taking Maddie’s hand* And I’ll make sure Wess doesn’t get too bossy.

Maddie: *smiling shyly* Okay... but no dart guns, Wesson.

Wesson: *grinning wider* No promises!

Moxxie: *straightening up with a groan, looking at Millie* She’s in good hands. Let’s hope they don’t destroy the apartment by the time we’re back.

Millie: *laughing as she grabs Moxxie’s arm*

Blitzø: *grinning as he throws on his jacket* Alright, y’all. Get outta here before I have to babysit you too.

Millie and Moxxie laugh, waving goodbye as they step back out. Blitzø grabs his car keys and gives Stolas a quick peck on the cheek before heading toward the door.

Blitzø: Don’t let ’em drive you too crazy, babe.

Stolas: *chuckling softly* I’ll do my best, darling. Have fun with your Overlord client.

The door closes behind Blitzø, and Stolas turns to face the trio of kids now staring at him with eager expressions.

Stolas: *clapping his hands together* Now then, little ones, who’s hungry for pancakes that don’t catch fire?

[hazbincalifornia]

New Face

Chapter 62: Blitzo meets the new hand at the ranch before the start of the Games.

Ao3 link

Blitzo flicked at the suspenders tugged above his shirt, feeling them quiver in the process- it was, frankly, a miracle that they hadn’t snapped when forced to stretch across all of the baby belly. To be fair, he had gotten ones that had extra give in them, so they at least didn’t feel like they would die a horrible death on him. He’d dolled himself up as much as his body would currently allow before Stolas insisted on opening a portal a little closer to the ranch, albeit next to the barn. (Not that Blitzo was about to complain, considering he’d probably be standing up for a larger portion of today than he had been recently.)

“Blitz!” Millie waved over to him, and he cracked his back before walking over, feeling his belly sway a little with every step. Fuck, he’d be glad when he could carry the kid in his arms, that seemed like it would be better for balance. Still, he could feel a faint buzz through his veins and his mouth still had an aura of lingering sweet iron as she tilted his head. “How are ya?”

“Never better, Mills.” He cracked a grin. “So, I heard there were some kind of games here- why didn’t you tell me? I should take that off your next paycheck, you know daddy loves that kinda shit.”

“The Pain Games?” The voice was somewhat rough, and Blitz spun to see a cowboy imp turn away from an absolutely gorgeous fire-stallion that immediately had his heart do triple-time. Was he related to Millie, and, follow-up question, would he be allowed to pet him?

“Yeah, those.” Blitzo nodded as the stranger closed some of the distance between them even though he stayed a few steps away, eyes darting up and down Blitzo’s body with a twitch of his lips. Right now, he was just an obstacle to horse-time, though. “So, can I-”

“Bombproof doesn’t like anybody touching him but me, ain’t that right, boy?” He gave the horse a pat and he nickered, nuzzling his muzzle into his side. Blitzo slumped a little at that, but the cowboy clicked his tongue.

“She said that the boss was stayin’ somewhere else for the night... you must be it then, huh?”

“Yep! Mill’s one of our best.” The fact that there were only four of them and three on active duty didn’t necessarily need to be shared, after all. “You one of her brothers?”

“He’s the new hand,” Millie said with a little nod. “Striker, was it?”

“Sure enough, little lady.” he said, nodding back with a little wink at her. “She’s been telling us about how business is going well- being able to wrangle that all up is real impressive, especially with you... full like that.” His tail flicked with a rattling noise as he folded his arms, and Blitzo beamed with pride.

“Once we got the groove, there’s a never-ending supply of sinners who’ve got beef with people they left behind, so hey, it’s just a matter of getting them into the office, y’know?”

“Right, of course. Does that ditzy royal you got up through know you’re...” Striker grimaced a little for half a second before he swallowed it back and waved at his middle, and Blitzo froze for a moment before waving a hand in response.

“It’s- y’know- it was a one night thing, I’ve got a weakness for bad boys so I let ‘em go in raw, and I’m already a dad so what’s one more, right? She’s gonna be a strong little bitch, though! Still need to pick a name, but maybe I’ll get struck by lightning on that soon.” Something else, think of something else- “So! Games! You already knew about ‘em, so you gonna join in?”

Striker took to the sudden switch with ease, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I’ll do one better- I’m going to win.”

“Bold claim, big boy.”

He grinned with one eye narrowed, gold tooth glinting in the daylight. “Trust me, sir, you’ll see.”

“And they’re starting soon!” A new voice called out from near the front of the house, and Blitzo turned to see a taller imp that he knew he’d seen a picture of before. This one he was pretty sure was Millie’s sister. Mallie? S something? Stellie? Sally- Sallie May, that was it. She turned to him, unable to help a little snicker. “You joining in, daddy boy?”

“Hey, are you insinuating I can’t, sweet-cheeks?”

“I’m saying you could drop into the pig pen and I might not notice at first.” Still, there was a mischievous twinkle to her eyes that he liked immediately.

“Depending on what chow you toss in there, maybe I wouldn’t even complain, this not-so-little bitch has me starving all the time.” Blitzo tapped his belly, and she laughed before walking out to join them.

“I’ll see whoever’s not a pussy at the starting line.”

“Hey, hey, that better not be aimed at me!” Millie protested, and Blitzo’s head swiveled.

“Wait, what?”

“Long story, but I’m not allowed to join in anymore,” she muttered as Striker headed down the road with Sallie May. “I’ll be cheerin’ on Sallie, at least, she’s gotta hold up the family name since they made a stupid ‘too many deaths in one round’ rule.”

“That sounds like they just couldn’t handle you.” He ruffled Millie’s hair, and she nudged at his side.

“See, you get it.”

“So, is Moxx coming?”

“Yeah, he was just finishing up in his room, he’ll be down any-”

“Good, sir, you’re here!” Moxxie stuck his head out the front door before jogging over. “Someone locked me in on accident!”

“That was probably one’a the little ones, they’re rascals." Millie said. "Did you pick the lock?”

“Luckily it was an easy one.”

“I see my lessons paid off!” Blitzo repeated the hair-ruffling on Moxxie, who waved him off.

“Anyway, I heard one of them say something about some games before the festival?”

“That’s where we’re heading now. Anything that puts ‘pain’ and ‘games’ together is either gonna be fantastic or awful, so we’ll see when we get there,” Blitzo said as they started walking. “So, Mills, as the local expert, care to spill the details?”

“Sure! Well, first they usually start with the climbing and tying...”

_______________

Blitzo was delighted to discover that walking was far less of a problem than it had been recently- if anything, the weight around his middle was only a balance issue, and once he figured out how to sway his hips properly, she wasn’t as much of a problem as she’d been the past few weeks. Walking was just walking, which probably meant that Stolas's royal heart-snack had given a jolt to his system. Score one for cannibalism.

He scanned over the crowd milling around at the starting line- there was a healthy mix of all genders and body types, although there did seem to be a lower age limit since he didn’t see anyone who looked to be younger than fifteen or sixteen. Then, he glanced over the course, tapping his chin.

There was the protection spell...

“Hmm.”

Moxxie noticed him noticing the layout and grimaced.

“Sir. No.”

“Come on, I could whip the asses of any fucker here, even like this!” He waved a hand over at another clearly-pregnant imp, a short one with pink eyes that looked like he might be part shark that was stretching at the starting line. “That guy’s doing it!”

“That guy also looks like he’s about two months behind you,” Moxxie noted wryly. “What if your water breaks?”

“That’ll give me a couple extra seconds while somebody else slips in it!” Blitzo protested as Moxxie dragged a hand down his face, and Striker chuckled, leaning against the fence.

“Tell you what- I like your guts. We wouldn’t want you fucking both’a you up, so how about you and me just have a friendly little wager? There’ll be plenty of time afterward, so how about we take the mud wrestling pit together and see who ends up on top? Winner buys the loser dessert.”

Blitzo felt a kick, and raised a hand to his stomach to soothe away the baby’s irritation as a grin spread across his face. “Deal.”

[kathyprior4200]

Rolando Reacts to Sinsmas

Rolando: (sings)

“We wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas and a creepy New Year! Rejoice in our sin and may the best win, enjoyment on Sinsmas, hope to live past next year! We wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas and a creepy New Year! Go bring us some mortal souls now, go bring us some mortal souls now, go bring us some mortal souls now, and bring them right here! We won’t go until we get some, we won’t go until we get some, we won’t go until we get some, so bring them right…”

Rolando: “Oh! *laughs in surprise* Hello there again, mortal! Happy Hellidays and a very scary Sinsmas to you! I’m here in my human disguise this time, I’m pretty dashing, right? Sorry about the food scare last time, but I promise I have even better treats this time. Have you ever tried Eel, Levia-liquor, and salted fish? These came fresh from Envy. Of course, if you’d like other things, I have Beelzejuice, Gluton-Honey, Sin Gin, spicy ice cream, and vegetables from the Wrath Ring. Don’t ask how I can still get food…it’s never as good as negative emotions anyway. Oh, you don’t have to worry about me getting drunk, I’m already dead.

So…are you ready for the last episode of season 2? Let’s get started!”

Stolas woke up in a pile of stuffed animals. Blitzo smiled as he made breakfast.

“Well, good morning there, Prince-Sleeps-A-Lot!” he called.

Rolando: “Urgh! Not him again! How many times do I have to see that cum-stained lowborn?!”

“Did you sleep well, big bird?” Blitzo asked.

Stolas yawned. “Best I could, I suppose.”

Stolas looked around. “Uhh…my Blitz…hoohoo…you sure have a lot of…horses. Iiiisss there a story behind that?”

Blitzo looked downcast as black smoke rose. “There is…but it’s way too long, and way too traumatic.”

Rolando: “Heheheh, yes, because I saw those memories, Blitzo!”

Blitzo called to Stolas, “Breakfast will be ready in a jiff!”

Rolando: “Oh, screw you!”

“Blitz, um,” said Stolas in the bathroom. “Would you be able to grab some…”

“Grab some what?” Blitzo asked.

“Nevermind!”

Stolas and Blitzo sat down.

“Okay, so I don’t know what you eat, so I just made a little of everything in hopes that something works for ya,” said Blitzo. “Got some eggs, made ’em special!”

Stolas looked disgusted.

Blitzo paused. “Oh. Oh shit. I’m sorry. Is this…th-that’s like cannibalism for you, isn’t it?”

“No, just rather off-putting. But it’s protein, I suppose.”

Rolando: (sing song voice) “Stolas is a cannibal!” *Eats his Envian fish*

“Uh-huh,” said Blitzo. “So w-wha-what do you normally eat?”

“Normally I dine on a custom diet prepared by my waiting staff; full of essential nutrients and freshly prepared rarities such as roasted vole or…fire koi?”

Blitzo stared.

“A fresh kale salad?” Stolas asked hopefully.

“Oh, nice. Anything that I can get that’s affordable?”

“Maybe some…rats?” Stolas asked.

Rolando: “Gross.”

“On it!” Blitzo called. “I’ll grab my stompers and head out to that alley this afternoon.

Rolando: “Envian eel, fried fish and negativity are far better meals, trust me.”

“Mmm, well that’d be nice,” Stolas mentioned. “Rats were always Via’s favorite snack.”

“Oh no! Where’s your phone?” Stolas asked.

The cell phone rang in Stolas’ palace and Octavia reached for it. Stella grabbed it. Stella smirked evilly and dangled it in front of Octavia’s face.

“Sorry, sweetie, no talking to that deadbeat!” Stella mocked.

Rolando: “Ohohoho shit! That is diabolical!”

“Andrealphus! Look who’s finally calling!”

“Oooh! Took him this long? That’s hilarious!”

Stella gleefully added, “He thinks he’s going to talk to his daughter! Hilarious!”

Octavia folded her arms, looking away sadly.

Rolando: “If only I could taste Stolas’ despair now!”

“Hilarious!” Andrealphus added as the two royal siblings laughed. Octavia raced out of the room in tears.

Rolando: “That owl girl is so traumatized right now!”

“Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!” Stolas pleaded. “Via, dear, please pick up. Please pick up.” Stolas slumped onto the floor. There was no answer. Stolas tapped on the screen. “No! No, no, no. Shit.”

Blitzo ran over. “Hey, hey, hey, whoa! Look I’m sure it’s gonna be okay, alright? I-I’m sure she’s…”

Stolas stared sadly at the floor.

“…she’s just away from the phone right now, okay? And breathe. It’ll be okay.”

Blitzo helped Stolas up and they walked through an outdoor imp marketplace together. One merchant imp glared at Stolas as he walked by. One imp glared at him as he stood in line at a grocery store and more imps angrily raised their fists.

Rolando: “Oh, that’s hilarious! *laughs*. Poor Stolas getting screwed over by all the lowborn imps! Ha! How does it feel to not be a pompous prick anymore?!”

Blitzo and Stolas talked in a laundromat and soap zoomed out of the machine and hit Stolas in the face. More imps seethed at them, one male imp shirtless.

Rolando: *laughs*

Stolas looked in Blitzo’s closet for his Sloth Ring happy pills. Blitzo gasped as his apartment caught on fire.

Rolando: “Oops, heheheh.”

At a diner, the waitress imp poured coffee for Blitzo and spat in Stolas’ drink.

Rolando: *laughs* “My goodness! Won’t want to be you, Stolas!”

Another imp pointed and laughed, but Blitzo whirled around and smashed a plate of food into the imp’s face. The waitress tackled Blitzo.

Stolas tried on various outfits in a clothing store. Blitzo leaped and tried to catch a black Hell rat for Stolas to eat. Stolas sadly stared at his phone…no response from Via. Blitzo looked at Stolas as the rat chewed his eyeball.

Rolando: “Oh man, this is too good!”

Stolas tried on more clothes at the store, the shopkeeper imp annoyed. He swiped his card but “card declined” appeared on the screen. The succubus cashier yelled at the duo. Stolas and Blitzo made a run for it with their stolen items.

“Is this how everyone acts when they don’t have money?” Stolas called as they ran.

“Nope,” Blitzo grinned. “This is how I act when I don’t have money!”

Rolando: “Stealing shit’s not gonna help you guys!”

Stolas slumped on the couch in despair.

Rolando: *chuckles*

“Eyyy Stolas!” Blitzo called. “Merry Sinsmas!”

He flipped over the couch.

“Ahhh! What the fuck was that for?!” Stolas snapped.

“Uh, it’s Sinsmas!” Blitzo exclaimed. “You know, the day every Hellborn celebrates and acts on their birth sin? Or any sin, whichever ones they want, honestly!”

*Pauses video*

Rolando: “Oh Sinsmas! Such a lovely helliday! My family and friends have special traditions. Back in Envy, me and my buddies would try to get into each other’s minds…and I would almost always win. And then whoever won would get to lead our rampage to mentally torment the weaklings! I remember watching the little wimps sob and cry and then one of my buddies would film their darkest secrets on their phone. Hahahaha! Of course, I remember hunting eel, fish and shark with mother and singing and sewing with father. Chilling with my siblings and buddies when they would come along to visit. We had our own underwater cave of crystals, and we would decorate the place with glowing escas and a coral tree. My parents gave me lots of praise, not necessarily what mortals call ‘love.’ Of course, this was all before…my parents left me to live on my own…and me getting assigned by Queen Leviathan to haunt humans at the One Star Wonder…enjoying my killings, alone. All by myself…until Blitzo k-k-kicked me in the pool and…”

Rolando: *voice cracks* “Excuse me…”

*Glass shatters* *Food and plates crashes to theater floor*

*Punches overhead projector* “STOP REPLAYING MY MEMORIES YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

*distorted cries*

*Gulps down Envi-vino wine and Leg-Nog*

“C-can you believe this shit! I have n-no theme song, no ASMR…hardly any merch…even that Chaz shark prick has more stuff than me and he’s dead too! I’m the most menacing villain in the so called ‘Hellaverse’ and what do I fucking get?! NOTHING!”

Rolando: *breathes shakingly and sniffs* *clears throat* “S-sorry about that. I hate it when my own negativity comes up! Let’s continue.”

“I cannot say I’m familiar with this holiday,” Stolas mentioned.

“Really?” asked Blitzo. “Wow, rich people don’t have any fun, do they?”

“No, fun is free, but we can afford nice things,” Stolas mentioned.

Rolando: *hoarse throat* “Oh s-shut up, birdbrain!”

“You know what might help that privileged little attitude?” Blitzo asked.

Rolando: “Me getting into Stolas’ head!”

“Paperwork!” Blitzo called. “Why dontcha come on with me to the office, and help Loony wi-wh-you know whatever the fuck her job is?”

Loona gave him a wide-eyed look as she ate from a box of dog biscuits.

“Eugh, you have to spend your holiday at work?” Stolas asked.

Rolando: “Welcome to the real world, asshole.”

“I choose to spend my holiday at work!” Blitzo declared. “See last year, I set my apartment on fire, so this year, we’re doing it at the office. It’s insured.”

Rolando: “I hope your business burns up, too!”

Stolas groaned as he made his way out the door. Blitzo pulled Loona along. They entered the office, which had candles and lights for decorations.

“Oof, oh, son of a bitch,” Stolas bonked his head walking into the room.

Loona carried bags of chips in her hands, Chaos Chips and Brimstone Bites. Moxxie and Millie were play-fighting and wrestling around the space.

Rolando: “What a bunch of clowns, I swear!”

“Ow! Millie!” Moxxie cried. He tried to jab her back, but she stabbed him in the arm with her tail.

“Ouch! You’re good!” Moxxie remarked.

They continued fighting in the kitchen, Moxxie throwing a bottle from the fridge and Millie throwing a chair. Ketchup and drinks spilled onto the floor.

Rolando: “Urgh, what a mess! Imps are such slobs.”

Millie hung from a wreath.

Moxxie did playful growls.

“I’m gonna bite you, Millie!”

“You always make me watch old musicals when I wanna watch Cleaver Hand 6: Ultimate Cleavage!”

She punched a hole in the fridge door.

She leaped onto Moxxie and the couple rolled into the office.

“Well, you snore all the time!” Moxxie retorted.

Millie kicked Moxxie off and held out a curved sword. “I will wreck you!”

Moxxie held up a wooden cannon-like blaster with six holes. “Not if I do first!”

They both laughed as Millie flipped and dodged the blasts. Stolas looked on in sheer shock. He clutched his face as the two imps chased each other, then wrestled on the table in front of him.

Millie and Moxxie smiled at each other with wide happy eyes.

“Happy Sinsmas!” Millie greeted. They kissed…then Moxxie blasted his wife out the window with his blaster. “Happy Sinsmas, honey!” he called with a wave.

Rolando: *facepalms*

Blitzo pulled out his whiteboard, which had various horse drawings and a graph on it.

“Listen up, chuckle-fucks! Today, we got Stolas in the office, so I want each of your red asses on the best behavior possible.” He pointed at Moxxie.

“Uh, sir?” Moxxie bluntly replied. “You are literally the only one who needs to adhere to that.”

Rolando: “Oooh.”

Blitzo brushed his hands. “And that’s detention, Mox. Millie, punch him.”

The white board flipped over, and Millie punched Moxxie in the gut. “Oof, Aww.” He smiled lovingly at her.

Rolando: *chuckles softly* “H-how did she get back up so fast?!”

“Good, happy Sinsmas, Mox,” said Blitzo. He turned to Loona, “Now Loony…”

Loona popped a light orange paw-print lollipop out of her mouth as she sat with her box of biscuits with her paws on the table.

“Stolas wants to learn to secretate, so show him how it’s done.”

Loona sighed. “It’s literally this...”

She held the lollipop, mimicking a phone. “’Ring, ring, hello? I.M.P. – yeah, we can kill that asshole, wanna schedule an appointment? Thursday cool? See you then, dipshit. Click. It’s easy as sin, Blitz. Can I go with you guys if he’s on the phone today?”

“I-I mean I guess?” Blitzo pondered.

“Yes!” Loona cheered, pumping a fist.

Blitzo moved the secretary bone-shaped phone over to Stolas.

“See, Stolas?” Blitzo smiled. “Finally, something to help you out! Something to do! And I can pay you for it! You could use a little money coming in, right?”

“Money coming in?” Stolas breathed. “Oh lords…I’M POOR NOW! Oh-ho-ho-ho-fuck!” He broke down in sobs.

Rolando: *laughs hard* “Your despair is delicious even from here, Stolas! You’re making me dizzy!”

The phone rang.

Blitzo gasped. “Oh, answer it, answer it!”

Stolas sobbed and shook.

“You can do it, Stolas, come on, answer the phone!” Blitzo encouraged.

Blitzo wore a “yas queen!”  mask and waved “You go gurl” flags while everyone else watched nervously.

“Hello, I.M.P.?” Stolas choked. “Yes, we can kill your asshole. Immediately, just bring it here. Thank you. Good day ma’am.” He hung up.

“Uhh…” Blitzo froze then shrugged. “Close enough!” He patted Stolas on the head. “Good job, buddy!”

The door slammed open, and a Sinner woman stood at the entrance. Karen had wooden spiked horns and a dress and long pink hair.

“You said you could kill someone immediately?” Karen demanded.

“Oh…yeah! Yes, we sure can!” Blitzo nervously waved his fist.

“Good. Because it’s Christmas,” she said, dropping her brown purse onto Moxxie and Millie.

Blitzo snapped his fingers. “It’s Sinsmas, lady, get it right.”

Karen knocked Loona aside with her hips. “I can’t stand the idea of my fucking ex-husband enjoying this sacred holiday with my daughters when he fucking left me for another man!”

She lounged on the couch and filed her nails.

“Oh well,” Blitzo laughed nervously. “That sounds like something that can happen from time to time.”

“And he probably cheated on me!” Karen added.

“Well, that’s…” Blitzo chuckled nervously. Stolas screeched in despair. “…not really worth killing someone over though, right?” Blitzo asked.  “I mean, cheating isn’t really that big of a deal anymore, is it?”

Karen sat up. “Isn’t that what this business does? He doesn’t deserve to live that heinous lifestyle and poison my daughters with it.”

“Uh-huh. Look, I don’t think this is a job we want to take on,” Blitzo stated.

“Really?” Moxxie asked from the floor in Millie’s grip.

“Why not?” Stolas asked. “Maybe he deserves it. Selfish men like him don’t deserve to…to li-i-i-iive!” He sobbed loudly.

Rolando: “What delicious drama!”

“That…no that’s not…” Blitzo began, walking over to him. “Ugh.”

Blitzo turned to her. “Alright, fine, we’ll do your shitty job…”

Karen grinned evilly.

“…but you’re paying us double, bitch!” Blitzo finished. Karen glared as Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie and Loona flipped her off as they entered the pink diamond portal from Blitzo’s Asmodean crystal.

Stolas tapped at his phone and sadly sighed. “No new messages” and “refreshing” appeared on his phone. Stolas looked at his erotic novel in his notebook, holding a pen.

“Ugh! Don’t you have any reading material anywhere?” asked Karen. “Are we supposed to just sit here and wait? How long do they take?”

“They take their time, it’s a difficult business, I imagine,” Stolas sighed.

“You ‘imagine,’ huh? Well, they should hurry up if they expect people to just stick around without anything to do.”

Stolas’ eye twitched.

“What a shoddy business operation!” Karen complained, waving a hand. 

“Ooh! Here’s an idea!” Stolas called. “You could shut the fuck up!”

Karen gasped. “Rude.”

Rolando: “Suck it, bitch!”

Stolas gasped as the cell phone rang. He scrambled to pick it up. “Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! Hello?”

A voice on the phone said, “Hey, I’m calling you on your extended warranty about your new Robo Pony 2000…”

Stolas screamed in frustration. “AURGH!” He shattered the phone in his hands, tore off a stuffed dog head, knocked over the Sinsmas tree, flipped a couch sofa and tried in vain to flip over Loona’s desk.

“Aurgh! C’mon you suck, you fucking suck, you fucking piece of shit, move your fucking face you goddamn sucking motherfucker…”

Rolando: *laughs* “What a moron! My kills are less nasty than his words right now!”

Stolas stood up and grabbed at his head of hair. “GAH! WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT I AM! THIS WAS SO STUPID! I CANNOT BELIEVE I COULD BE THIS FUCKING STUPID!” He banged his head against the desk. “I RUINED EVERYTHING! MOVE, YOU SHITTY DESK!”

Rolando: “I need to get inside his fucked-up head, pronto! It’s killing me right now!”

Stolas picked up his notebook with shaking hands. “And I did it for what? These stupid foolish fantasies?!”

He threw the book at Karen who moved to the side with a scowl.

“I can’t stand it any longer! I don’t care what they fucking do!” He opened the door and raised a finger. “I’m seeing Octavia!” he declared before slamming the door.

Rolando: “Hahaha! Good luck with that! I’m sure your estranged daughter won’t be brainwashed by her mother and uncle and leave you in the dust!”

Karen picked up the notebook and sat down on the couch. “I guess it’s something to read.”

I.M.P. walked through the portal and into a snow-covered suburban neighborhood decorated for Christmas. A snowman was in the yard.

Blitzo shivered. “Ahhh, it is cold as shit! What is this?”

“Do humans have Sinsmas, too?” Millie asked. Loona picked up a Santa figure.

“I-I don’t think so,” Moxxie answered. “This seems to be something else.”

Millie glanced at a smiling angel figure holding a star and vomited.

“You okay, babe?” Moxxie asked.

“Oh yeah!” Millie coughed. “Must just be the cold.”

Blitzo walked over. “Okay, let’s just hurry up and kill this son of a bitch so we can get the fuck back home.”

Blitzo rolled into a ball in the snow and sped up to the house. He posed with his gun with an evil grin at the window.

Then he froze when he saw the family inside. Two little girls were laughing and sitting by their two dads. The two dads kissed and the girls shared smiles.

Blitzo shivered.

“Sir?” Moxxie asked. “This may be out of turn…but I feel like this one isn’t worth the money.”

“Didn’t you also hesitate to kill that cannibal family in the woods?” Blitzo reminded him.

“Well, yeah,” said Moxxie. “And we did kill all of them. But I feel like this is different.”

“How so?”

“They’re gay…”

“So?”

“They look innocent, sir. It’s Sinsmas and the humans are celebrating their own holiday. Can’t we just leave them be?”

“What?” Millie asked.

“I don’t think I wanna be part of this one, sir,” Moxxie said to Blitzo.

“You okay, dad?” Loona asked, putting an arm around Blitzo. “You know I can handle this one. You know, if you’re not up for it.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

Blitzo stared into space, imagining that the happy family was him spending time with Stolas, Loona, and Octavia. Octavia had a book in her stocking, Loona a bone, Stolas a plant and Blitzo a horse. Blitzo held a present in his hands, smiling with hearts in his eyes when his present was a small white horse. Loona held a mug of hot chocolate. They were all smiling, happy and whole, and they shared an embrace.

0 0 0

Rolando’s father and mother hovered together in their underwater crystal cave, a little Rolando munching on a baby fish they had caught for him. A younger Rolando raced through the water with his aquatic friends, no worries about trends or expectations. He rode on a giant gray moray eel, sending other demons scurrying in a panic. His friends clapped and voted him the fiercest infestor demon in Envy. He smiled and embraced his group of infestor demon friends, all of them laughing as tied up demons below then were forced to see their darkest secrets.

Rolando: *distorted cries* “Oh shit, why is this happening?! Urgh! I think I’m gonna be sick…”

Rolando: *breathes heavily* *low demonic voice* “If you breathe one word about my secrets, human, I’ll make you experience your worst fears and slowly carve you in half while doing so! That understood?! *sighs* Good. Moving on.”

0 0 0

“Nah fuck this,” Blitzo shook his head. “We’re going home.”

“What?” Millie asked. “Didn’t he cheat or s-s-something? Come on, this is fun! We’ve done this kind of t-t-thing before!”

“Just…not this one, Mils,” said Blitzo. He rubbed his crystal on his wrist, and the portal appeared. “Not today.”

Blitzo walked through, followed by Loona.

“I can do this one, I can do this!” Millie insisted, turning back toward the house.

“Millie!” Blitzo ordered.

Bliutzo glared and turned around. Moxxie put an arm around her. “We’ll do it next time!” said Moxxie. “It’s just not worth it.”

Millie elbowed him away. “Don’t start, Moxxie! Just because you aren’t demon enough to do this job doesn’t mean…”

She paused when she noticed his hurt face. “I’m sorry.”

“Sweetie,” said Moxxie. “I know it’s Sinsmas and it’s in the spirit of Wrath, but are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I don’t…”

They held hands and pressed their heads close.

“…know what’s gotten into me today.”

Moxxie kissed her on the forehead. “It’s okay.” He hugged her. “I’m here for you.”

Millie smiled in thanks.

They walked through the portal, and it closed.

“Wow!” Blitzo breathed. “I never wanna go anywhere cold again.”

Blitzo looked around. “Uhh, Stolas?”

“He’s gone!” spat Karen. “And he left this terribly sinful erotic novel behind. Can you believe this trash? Didn’t make me wet at all!” She folded her arms.

Blitzo glared.

Karen then screamed as she was tossed out the window by Blitzo. Blitzo smirked as he waved at her with the notebook.

Rolando: *chuckles* “Bye-bye, bitch!”

“Wow, I feel lighter!” Blitzo smiled.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Octavia walked somberly down the hallway with her iPod in hand, snowflakes decorating the walls. She stepped onto some dried leaves. She glanced somberly at the remains of one of her dad’s plants.

Stella and Andrealphus laughed and lounged in their chairs during their spa treatment, surrounded by serving imps they were bossing around. Andrealphus had posters of himself hung in every corner of the room. One imp served a glass to Andrealphus, one held towels, and another held a rotary phone for Stella. Another imp was painting Stella’s toenails. Andrealphus had kiwis over his eyes and teal cream on his face. Stella relaxed in her pink bathrobe. The imps wore teal clothes to match Andrealphus’ color scheme.

Stella laughed. “He’s been trying to call her all fucking month and it’s hilarious!”

“Fra, fra, fra fra fra!” Stella chanted. They both laughed.

Rolando: “Pompous prissy pricks.”

Octavia sadly headed to her room and picked up a purple guitar with stars on it her dad had given her. She stared at the constellations glowing on her pink-lit ceiling. She went into the closet and spotted a box labeled “Stolas’ stuff.” Octavia sadly looked at an old drawing of her and her dad she made as a kid. Then she saw a “star observation” picture showing her as a little child smiling with her dad.

She sung her lament.

“Your boxes packed up on the bed

Your words are in my head

Tellin’ me that we’ll be okay

You’ll remember what you said

Or was it just another lie?”

Under rays of light, Octavia reached out to touch a starry Stolas’ hand, pressing hers against his. She sadly watched as the image blew away.

“This place that used to be your home

Would you call me on the phone?”

Octavia ran down the dark hallway, seeing photos of her as an owl baby with her stuffed gold star. She saw more photos of her parents and her as a child. In her imagination, she raced after him as he flew toward the light at the end of the hall.

“Will I hear your voice in the middle of the night

When I turn off the lights?”

Octavia imagined herself as a little girl, crying in the dark when the door closed behind her.

“Or are you just another ghost?

Ohhhh…”

Octavia gasped when she saw a starry indigo image of her dad embrace a smiling red starry image of Blitzo. She reached out to him, but he turned into a shadow with four red eyes and darted away. She raced after the Blitzo and Stolas shadows zooming through the hall.

“How could you lie to my face?

And did our time mean nothing to you?”

The Stolas and Blitzo shadows looked down at her against another family portrait before zooming away.

“Were you bluffing all along?

That you would be there to see

Yourself forgiven by me.”

The shadow Stolas held out his hand to Octavia who was on her knees. Angrily, she slapped it away and stood up.

“If you thought that I’d take it, you were wrong!

Oh, you were wrong!”

The halls, statues, and portraits cracked and crumbled in her mind, until she saw the vastness of outer space. An orange and yellow supernova exploded over her head. She walked under a red and black starry sky as fiery comets rained down nearby. The ground cracked beneath her feet. Several family pictures caught on fire and fluttered down. A globe of constellations and several astronomy books cracked in half.

“And when you’re gone, I will be okay

I will be okay, though I will never be the same

And I’ll know that I was right to doubt you!

I’ll grow without you and you’ll only know my name!”

A pink explosion boomed behind her. She gasped and caught a dark purple tear-shaped light in her hands. She saw a picture of her and her father in her hands which soon burned away. She dropped it until it vanished in a golden light. She stepped upward against the sky, her feet leaving glowing golden footprints behind.

“You always told me I’d be okay

Well, I’ll be okay, even though I’m not okay today.

But my tears won’t fall upon your shoulder.

I’ll grow older and you’ll only know my name.”

Her tears fell upon the drawing of her and her dad and a pink heart card with “DAD” written on it. She strummed her guitar.

Octavia spotted a box full of her dad’s happy pills from Belphegor. She walked out of her closet with a determined look, the door closing behind her.

Rolando: “That was…beautiful…I guess…”

The I.M.P. headquarters door opened. “Dad?”

It was Octavia.

“Octavia?” Blitzo asked, hiding the notebook behind him. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

She held up a bottle of pills. “I came to get these back to my dad, where the fuck is he?”

“I swear, he was just right here,” Blitzo mentioned to the space.

Octavia facepalmed. “Ugh, where would he go?”

Blitzo put his fingers to his chin in thought, then looked up with worry. “I think I know.”

0 0 0 0 0 0

Stolas walked by the Andrealpus ice sculptures to his ice-covered palace. Ice blocked his way in, sending him sliding on ice back to the ground.

“Ugh, fucking Ice Queen. How extra can you get?” Stolas rolled his eyes.

“Oh, this is just sad, Stolas,” said Andrealphus.

Rolando: “Time for the boss battle!”

“Let me see my daughter this instant!” Stolas demanded.

Andrealphus chuckled vindictively and gloated. “I imagine this is rather hard for you, Stolas. Aww, poor thing. All alone now without your lovely plants, your lovely stars, or your lovely little daughter. Everything you are now…”

Stolas punched Andrealphus in the face, tackled him, and hit him over and over. Black blood spurted from his nose and mouth. His eye was swollen.

Rolando: *breaks into laughter* “Oh my Satan!”

Stolas smashed Andrealphus’ face with an ice statue.

Rolando: “Ouch!”

Andrealphus pushed Stolas away with his ice powers. His teal crown blew back onto his head and Andrealphus rose up menacingly. His tail turned into icicles which bound Stolas by his wrists, waist and neck. He pulled Stolas to him and aimed sharp icicles toward his neck.

“Goetia be dammed, you are dead for that!”

“Do it…pussy!” Stolas taunted.

Rolando: “Oh, he’s fucked.”

“I will enjoy this.” Andrealphus grinned evilly.

“Hey, Elsa!” Blitzo yelled, throwing a snowball into Andrealphus’ face. “Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!” Loona, Mooxie, and Millie stood by Blitzo.

Rolando: “TMI, Blitzo, yuck!”

Andrealphus laughed. “The imp?” His eyes glowed teal and his face turned dark. “The imp is challenging me?”

Blitzo threw another snowball into his face.

“Scatter!” Blitzo called as the I.M.P. members ran in different directions.

Loona leaped up and tried to grab hold of Stolas. Andrealphus lifted him out of reach. Moxxie rolled on the ground and boasted Millie up with his hooves. She flew toward Andrealphus with her fist out. She was knocked back by a large strand of ice.

“Millie!” Moxxie cried as she began to fall.

“Loona! Launch me!” Blitzo called, raising a finger. Loona threw Blitzo into the air.

“Ahh, ha-ha!” Blitzo cried as he maneuvered around Andrealphus’ ice branches. He climbed up toward Stolas.

Andrealphus seethed and used his magic to thicken the ice under Blitzo’s feet and creep over Stolas. Stolas grew frightened as ice began creeping over his neck and body. Blitzo was almost there…he could barely reach Stolas’ face. Blitzo slipped and grabbed onto the ice as he slid backwards.

Andrealphus grabbed onto Blitzo’s collar.

“You little insects really think you can do anything to me? A Marquis of Hell? You are delusional!”

Loona’s clawed hand glowed blue as she began to transform and rush forward.

“Eeehh! Try again, bitch!” Blitzo mocked. “I’ve been called so much worse!”

Andrealphus let out a nasty sling of swears that shocked even Blitzo.

Rolando: “What the Hell was that?!”

“It’ll be rather amusing to squash you all.”

Loona howled as she leaped into the air, now in her demonic four-legged wolf form. She bit into Andrealphus’ face, sending Blitzo falling. Andrealphus clutched at his neck as a stream of black blood squirted out.

Blitzo smiled as Loona leaned under him to catch him. Loona skidded to a landing and Blitzo posed on her back.

To Blitzo’s horror, Stolas was encased in ice and the ice snapped shut like a mouth. Before them, an icy white dragon materialized. It had spiky ice skin and sharp teal horns and teal glowing eyes. Andrealphus and the dragon let out fierce roars, a blue snake tongue showing in the dragon’s mouth.

“Oh, fuck me,” Blitzo gulped as he and Loona retreated.

“Ugh, erugh, oh,” Millie strained as she lifted herself up. Conveniently, she had landed in the armory.

“Fuck yes!”

Moxxie climbed over the rubble and stared awe-struck at warrior Millie. Millie held a black and red sword, a blue and white rifle, a golden axe, another sword, a spear and a blue flag with Stolas’ emblem on it. A sash of bullets were on display down her chest.

 “Catch, baby!”

Moxxie caught the black sword and posed with it in the air.

“You are so fucking hot right now.”

Millie admired the gun. “I think I’m gonna give the firepower a try this time!”

“Mwah,” she kissed Moxxie.

“Millie! Big weapon, stat!” Blitzo urged.

Millie tossed him a lance. Blitzo rushed toward the dragon, riding on Loona. The dragon snapped at the ground, knocking Loona to the side.

Blitzo hung from the weapon like a pole as he flew up in the dragon’s jaws. Loona dodged the dragon’s clawed feet.

Blitzo hummed a heroic Valkyrie tune off key, kicking at one of the icy fangs.

“This is fun!” Millie cried with joy, aiming a large gold and white gun.

“Alright, sweetie, cover me!” called Moxxie as he rode on Loona. “The prince’s knight needs his sword!”

Millie shot a golden rocket in the dragon’s direction. Loona climbed up onto the dragon, cracking its icy hide with her claws.

Blitzo hung from the weapon, looking down at the dragon’s icy uvula and mouth.

“Eugh! Disgusting!”

“Blitz!” called Moxxie, hanging upside down and holding the black sword.

“Whoo! Impressive, Moxxie!” Blitzo called.

“Catch!”

Blitzo caught the sword.

“Yeah, Moxxie! High five…” Blitzo began, high-fiving Moxxie in a similar way Moxxie had done with Millie in the fish’s mouth.

“Oh whoa! Shit!” Blitzo yelled as he started to plummet. The dragon’s mouth closed and Andrealphus smirked evilly.

The dragon roared in triumph…

…until, in the style of Hercules and Millie, Blitzo sliced off the dragon’s neck from the inside, freeing himself and Stolas.

“You’ve just risked your life to save mine,” Stolas gasped.

“Well…so did you.” Blitzo smiled down at him. Stolas kissed Blitzo as they plummeted to the ground. Blitzo held Stolas as they landed in the snow. The dragon’s head and body crashed to the ground. Millie raced over and Moxxie and Loona popped up.

Andrealphus fumed. “How dare…you pathetic waste of lower class scum, attack ME! For this, I will see all your heads mounted!”

The icy headless dragon soon morphed into a three-headed ice hydra creature.

Loona, Moxxie and Millie flinched as the hydra towered over them. Blitzo defended Stolas, aiming the black sword in the air.

The dragon aimed its jaws at the duo…

But a burst of black and purple magic formed a magical shield around them.

Octavia!

“Stand down, girl!” Andrealphus demanded. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“ENOUGH! STOP IT!” Octavia strained as she lifted her hands, pulsing with her magic. “You will not. Hurt. My. Dad!”

With a mighty blast, Octavia’s magic disintegrated the hydra. It broke the icicles and sent Andrealphus backwards.

Andrealphus stalked forward. “You’re in no position to make demands of me!” He smirked. “Imagine what your mother would say.”

“Uh huh. Exactly,” Blitzo fired back. “Imagine what her mother would say when she finds out you got your ass handed to you by a gaggle of imps and a hellhound. I think that’s what folks call a BAD LOOK!”

“A very bad look,” Octavia folded her arms.

Andrealphus blustered, then waved his hand. “You aren’t worth my time anyway! But you WILL regret this.”

Andrealphus glared as he retreated back into the mansion.

“Via!” Stolas raced over to her as she walked back to the mansion and gave her a hug. “My brave, powerful girl! I am so proud of you!”

A crack formed in the ice that reflected Stolas and Octavia hugging.

Octavia pushed him away.

“You lied to me.”

“What?”

“You lied to me! You said you would never leave me! You promised!”

Stolas stepped back. “Via, I-I didn’t leave you I-I-I would never, it wasn’t my choice.”

“It was your choice! You chose HIM!” Octavia angrily pointed at Blitzo.

“Via, no! I didn’t I just-I had to. You don’t understand.”

Octavia spread out her hand, clenching a burst of magic. “I do understand! I understand that we were never enough for you! You never loved mother, and you don’t love me, you love him. And you needed THESE!” She held up the happy pills. “Was this my fault that you needed these?”

“No! No, never, Via!” He grabbed her hand. “Sweetie, please. You have always been the only good thing in my life!”

“So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me?” She teared up. “Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn’t even hesitate when you got a chance to leave?”

She shoved him away.

“I love you, Via. So, so much. Please, sweetie, let me explain.”

“I can’t. You lied to me once, and you’ll do it again.” Tears streamed down her face. “Have a good fucking life with him, Dad.”

“No, Via please! Please!”

Octavia blocked his way with ice. Stolas stared at his own reflection, crumbled to his knees and sobbed in loud anguish. Blitzo covered his shoulders with his jacket. Stolas sobbed as he clutched his happy pill bottle.

Rolando: “ALL THIS ANGUISH! STOP MAKING ME HUNGRY, FUCK!”

0 0 0 0 0 0

Loona opened the door to Blitzo’s apartment. “Whew! That was intense.” She stretched. “I’m gonna see if my friends can still come tonight. I need some drinks after what happened today.”

“Yeah, sure! Whatever you want, Loony. Mmmkay?” Blitzo called.

Stolas slumped over to the couch, staring into space. Blitzo covered Stolas with a blanket. Blitzo fried four black and red eggs in a frying pan, then tossed them into his mouth, where his pupils briefly widened.

Rolando: “The fuck did he just eat?”

Blitzo climbed over the couch and settled into Stolas’ lap.

“She hates me. My daughter hates me,” Stolas stated somberly.

Rolando: *evil laugh*

They shared a sad hug as Moxxie, Millie and Loona decorated the apartment.

Loona laughed with her three Hellhound friends.

Moxxie held out horse-shaped cookies on a plate to Stolas.

“You wanna try some of my home-baked Sinsmas cookies, your highness?” Moxxie asked. “Eeh? Eeeh?”

“I think I’ll pass, but thank you,” he somberly answered. “And you don’t need to address me like that.”

Moxxie glared as Blitzo snatched up the Blitzo horse cookie with his tongue and ate it. “Hey, where’s Mils?” he asked.

Millie ran the faucet in the bathroom, staring into the mirror with tired stressed eyes. She threw something into the trash and banged her fist on the counter. “Shit!”

Rolando: *evil voice* “The lowborn hick sure looks stressed.”

Millie stared at her cell phone as she walked out of the bathroom. Moxxie held a Mammonopoli board game.

“Oh, hey sweetie!” Moxxie smiled. “We’re about to start board games!”

“I’ll be right there, baby! Calling the fam for Sins first!”

Millie headed frantically into the decorated hallway, tapping on her screen.

“Hay!” drawled her transgender sister Sallie May in greeting.

Rolando: “Oh look. Another farm hick.”

“Hey Sal. You alone?” Millie asked.

“Uhhhmmmm…” Sallie stood up and spotted her family watching TV. She scurried sideways out of the living room and headed onto the front porch.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Millie breathed. “Good.” She choked, tears in her eyes. She whispered, “I just need someone to talk to about something.”

“What’s going on?” Sallie May asked.

Millie held up…a positive pregnancy test.

Rolando: *spits out drink and coughs* “WHAT?! THE HICK’S PREGNANT?!” *breathes* “Well, that is rather unexpected.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Millie cried, sliding to the floor. Having been an assassin all her life, she wasn’t sure how raising a baby would impact her current job and feelings.

Rolando: “This certainly changes everything. Will she get an abortion? Will the baby put I.M.P. in jeopardy? Will the baby grow up and rise against Satan? Oh, the drama, oh the endless potentials!”

“Okay, Okay!” Loona called. “So did you see fucking Vikki’s post the other day? Fucking Vikki?” Loona held out her phone to her friends.

“I swear,” said her female hellhound friend Gigi. “If she posts one more humble brag about that ugly ass car, I’m gonna commit.”

“Cha, for real,” added Russ, her other friend.

Millie raced over and hugged Moxxie.

“Oh, hey sweetie, how’d the call go?” asked Moxxie.

“It was nice!” Millie glanced to the side. She looked sad. “You know I love you?”

They held hands.

“Love you, too!” smiled Moxxie, putting a hand by her chin.

“Okay!” Loona called. “Time for the board games! WITH DRINKS!!!”

Her friends cheered as she handed out bottles with honeycomb designs on the front. The label on the pack read “Glut-Honey Limited Sinsmas Edition, carbonated Beelzejuice with natural flavors: harder than ethanol.”

“Ha, ha, ha! Merry fucking Sinsmas, am I right?!” Loona laughed. “Vikki’s such a bitch!”

“No, I didn’t invite her!” Loona added. “She brings the whole party down!”

“You know, you guys go on without me, ‘kay?” Blitzo said, hurrying after Stolas to the fire escape. “I’ll-I’m-need a moment.”

“You mind if I steal?” Blitzo asked, noticing his cigarette.

“Oh, when have you ever asked?” Stolas replied.

They leaned against the fire escape balcony, smoking and staring at the red night sky and the Sinsmas neon lights and decorations.

“Today was a lot, wasn’t it?” Blitzo asked. “I-I know you can’t see your kid. And I know you did so fucking much just to save my life…”

“It’s okay,” Stolas said. “Saving you was the right thing to do.”

Rolando: “Nope!”

“And you have risked your life for mine in return.” Stolas blew out cigarette smoke. “You don’t need to feel any guilt for my situation, it was my choice. It was all my choice. I caused all of this.”

Blitzo put a comforting hand on Stolas’ shoulder.

“Well, she’ll understand eventually.”

Rolando: “Nope!”

“You just gotta give her time,” Blitzo said.

“Blitz…” Stolas sighed. “She’s gone. For one hundred years, she’s gone.”

Rolando: “Yes, yes, give into your despair, Stolas.”

“And after all that time, she’ll never forgive me. I’ll be a stranger to her.”

Blitzo added, “You know my twin sister…she hates me too, for something that I did.”

Rolando: “How does it feel, Blitzo, knowing you’ll never see Barbie Wire again?! Heh? Heh?”

“And I miss her every day. We were so fucking close you know, we…it’s a shitty feeling. But…you just gotta keep trying.”

“Yes. Of course.” Stolas breathed out more smoke.

“No ‘O’! Get your ass in here!” called Russ, one of Loona’s friends, peering out the sliding door. “We’re starting the games!”

Loona perched her arms on his head. “Yeah, I need you to show up Russ!”

“Hey, I’ll be back in just a sec, ‘kay?” Blitzo called to them.

“Sounds like, uh…they want me back in there…” Blitzo chuckled.

“Go enjoy your Sinsmas, Blitz,” Stolas said sadly. “I’m fine. You don’t have to stay here with me.”

Blitzo smiled and climbed up onto the railing.

“What are you doing?” Stolas asked.

Rolando: “JUMP LITTLE ONE, JUMP!”

“Well, I can’t fucking dance with you without…come here…getting inventive.”

They danced and spun around.

Rolando: *groans* “Oh come on!”

 “Hah. I imagine we look ridiculous right now,” Stolas mentioned.

Blitzo scoffed. “Yeah, like that’s anything new. I mean, look at me, I’m like four feet tall and you? You’re like the size of one of those really very tall, tall horses.”

“Never really seemed to be an issue,” Stolas said with a chuckle. “I guess you were just…creative.”

“Only as creative as you were flexible,” said Blitzo.

Stolas laughed as he was lowered down in a dance, with Blitzo over him, kicking up his tall leg. A sparkling full moon shone in the sky.

They looked at each other in genuine friendship…both equals at last. They embraced in a warm hug, both of them hopeful of what would come next. Stolas stared at the moon, uncertain, then closed his eyes, thankful to have his friend and partner with him.

Rolando: *breathes heavily* “Whoa-ho-ho-ho shit! That was one titilator of an episode! I did not expect to get so emotional with this one. Well, that was the last one…”

“Wait, don’t go anywhere mortal! I almost forgot, I have a special Sinsmas song for you. Ready to hear it?”

“I don’t want a lot for Sinsmas

There’s just one thing I need

I don’t care much for humans

But I would like their fears to feed

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

All I want for Sinsmas is you

I don’t want a lot for Sinsmas

There’s just one thing I need

I don’t care much for humans

But I would like their fears to feed

I don’t need to fight demons and cause strife

I just need negativity and a chance to come back to life

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

All I want for Sinsmas is you

I won’t ask for much this Sinsmas

I won’t even wish for fame

I’m just gonna keep on waiting ‘til I can shame Blitzo’s name

Fate, won’t you give me the revenge I need?

Won’t you bring that Blitzo dead to me?

‘Cause I want you here tonight

Trembling and sobbing in fright

What more can I do?

Oh yeah, all I want for Sinsmas is you

You, little one

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Sinsmas

This is all I’m asking for

I just wanna see crying mortals

Chained up right outside my door!

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

Oh yeah, all I want for Sinsmas is you

Yooou, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one”

Rolando: “Any last words before I feast on your fears?”

Rolando: “Wait…you want me to react to…WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO START AT THE BEGINNING?! SEASONS 1, 2, 3, AND 4, WITHOUT ME IN THEM! NO, NO…!”

Rolando: *deep breaths* “Look, it’s been a crazy night and I’ve been incredibly lonely for who knows how long. Tell you what, I’ll react to the episodes if you want, and I won’t even feast on your fears. How does that sound? Since you can’t bring me back to life, I do want one little favor…”

…

“Yes, you heard me. I want my own show and my own episodes since ‘Helluva Boss’ thinks it’s dandy to make me a one-show Halloween cameo! You say it’ll never happen? Well make it happen! Unless you want me to dig inside your mind when you come back?”

Rolando: “You think I can’t do it? Try me…I’ll see you again real soon…”

[boszbichblitzo]

"Hm.... how big is the list of people your plants wouldn't attack? I mean, I was sneaking in here for months and they still react to me, so it's gotta be small, right?" Blitz straightened up and dusted himself off, still frowning down at the path, as if a clue might just jump out at him if he stared hard enough.

"Nothing about that was 'under control'." He huffed, turning now to face Stolas. "Do you know what he did when I turned him down? He pulled a gun on me. That's what we were fucking fighting about this morning. I was tryin' to get a feel for his fucked up mental state to figure out what the hell I should do with him or if he should even be trusted around weapons right now and he took it real fuckin' personal and started giving me shit about what a horrible fucking person I am and wouldn't leave me the fuck alone after I decided we weren't getting anywhere and tried to end the conversation. 'Cause I might be shitty, but that doesn't mean I want to scream and fight with my friends. Especially after––" He cut himself off, recognizing he was beginning to ramble and his voice had slowly been raising in volume. This wasn't helpful, it was just making him look like more of an asshole and the last thing he needed was to give Stolas the impression he was right about what a selfish, vindictive prick he was. "I–– No. We haven't pissed any clients off lately. If we did, they'd be after me anyway, not him. I did..... pick up a stalker, but I'm pretty sure she's harmless, she just really wants to fuck."

A mild look of offense crossed Blitz's face at the notion that his precious daughter was difficult–– fucking Moxxie talking shit–– but instead of just snapping, he took a steadying breath and let it out slowly, his tone still tinged with annoyance as he spoke next. "Loony isn't 'difficult', Moxxie's just a little bitch. She's busy right now though, let's just grab one of your guards, if we're goin' on a little adventure, they should be with you anyway, right? You do pay 'em to.... y'know.... guard you."

Stolas shook his head solemnly, his feathers ruffling slightly with unease. "No, no one noticed anything unusual," he said, his voice tinged with frustration. "None of the guards reported anything, and my plants didn't react either. It's as though whoever was responsible knew exactly how to avoid detection—another indication that this might be someone familiar with the estate."

He paused, tilting his head thoughtfully as Blitz explained Moxxie's behavior. The owl's eyes narrowed slightly. "I have been worried about him too, but he told me he had it under control. That behavior is strange, especially for Moxxie," he agreed, tapping a talon against his beak. "As for me, he only mentioned that he needed some space from you, which I thought was perfectly understandable given recent events. But he didn't seem agitated or distressed when I last saw him. Professional as always. What about you? Have you two pissed off any clients lately that might want revenge?" By you two, he meant most Blitz since Moxxie had been with him.

Stolas folded his arms behind his back, his demeanor shifting into something more proactive. "Would you like me to teleport Loona here to assist us? As you say, a hellhound's tracking abilities might prove invaluable in finding him quickly. I’ve heard that she can be difficult, but under the circumstances, I believe she'd want to help."

[@boszbichblitzo

[rainestorm2556]

Since my post about what I want for season 3 is blowing up I thought I’d try my hand at what happens in my head for Season 3 w/ Storm, her cousin, & Arya included:

Camila takes in all seven of Luz’s friends

They all have bunk beds and share a room

They’re super chaotic too and always up past their bedtime

Homework is done at the kitchen table

Everyone teases Storm for liking Ava

When she does realize she likes Ava she’s in the room and just goes “oh shit” to witch everyone looks at her

She legit just responds with “fuck, I’m a lesbian”

Arya is very flirty towards Hunter but he’s so dense and doesn’t realize she likes him even when she goes “Oh Hunter, darling~”

Storm cuts her hair almost immediately after arriving in the human realm

She picks up guitar

Aralyn starts stressing like Lilith big time

Once they dares Hunter to do the worm across the room but he didn’t know what it was so Storm did it instead

Storm keeps basically her version of Marcy’s journal, but y’know, owl house, human realm, and her

Everyone teases her when she reveals that her middle name is Evangeline

They all love and fear Camila

Once Willow tried to make Camila a birthday bouquet using plant magic but she went overboard and the whole house became a jungle

So they all just baked her a cake instead

In the human realm no one knows what happened to King

Raine and Eda get back together

Alador uses the infamous Stolas line from the new episode ���THAT WAS THE SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE!” on Odalia

Raine and Eda get engaged

For those that went to the human realm and King, they have a little tombstone with all their names on it

Eda visits it often and wallows in her remorse and guilt

Raine had to reassure her

She goes mama mode X10,000 and basically adopts all the kids left

Lilith figures out how to go Harpy mode

Eda gets a prosthetic arm designed by Alador

The Collector is literally just being a weird kid

In the human realm all the witches have to cover their ears and one day out of literally nowhere Stan shows up for Storm

Now she spends a day every other week with him

Flapjack keeps being a cutie

Storm keeps a locket with pictures of her and Eda in it

She loves Guns N Roses

Gus is obsessed with giraffes

He gets a troublemaker side and uses illusions for pranks

Amity is worried about the twins and her dad but not Odalia

Gus helps everyone forge illegal documents with his illusion magic

Camila remembers all the kids (including Vee)’s specific likes and dislikes

Lots of family photos with the witches and Vee get put up on the mantle

Luz & Storm take up major leadership roles

Ed & Em look like their natural selves, no more magic to make them look different

Alador spends more time with the twins

Even Darius is reassuring Eda that she didn’t fail the kids and King

King keeps tricking the collector so that they do what he wants in order to find a way back to the human realm and save the group

Storm starts randomly dancing a lot

If anyone calls her “Eva” or by her middle name she’ll riot

Camila doesn’t play favorites

The kids have definitely gotten hurt on the bunk beds before but it’s the only option Camila can think of

The gang will FaceTime each other put food up to the camera and “feed” each other

Luz’s palisman hatches

Hunter loves Zuko

Boscha turns around and turns out to not be so bad

Hooty is more sad but still Hooty

Storm likes Mickey Mouse because his voice reminds her of Hooty’s

She tried doing a Hooty impression once and everyone recorded her

Storm starts letting people call her Stormie and starts wearing her glasses rather than her contacts if only so she can feel more connected to Raine and Eda

Eda and Raine talk a lot about raising Storm together and want to make sure she approves before they get married

Eda opens up a teeny bit about Stan and tells Raine how he really does care about Storm and how she loves how easily he makes her smile and laugh

Bunk bed switching definitely happens in the middle of the night

How people say “I’m gonna get you” to like little kids or animals in silly goofy mood voice is Storm whenever she says “I’m gonna commit arson” she also gets in the crab pose to say that

Storm learns how to play poker and Hexes Hold ‘Em

Bedtime stories are a must for the mothers in both realms and so are bedtime forehead kisses

Eda goes through a lot of old photo albums of little Storm with Raine

[theyanderespecialist]

Strike With Obsession 1 (One shot/Mini Series) Striker X Marie OC (Yandere) (Helluva Boss)

(no one's pov)

"Oh Satan it is hot." An imp muttered as she got out of the van towards her Employee's parents

"Oh it's okay Marie, hey you look great in my old clothes."

"..I feel like I'm going to fuck my cousin who is also my brother." Marie muttered as she fanned herself.

"No Millie's right Miss. Y-You look..good."

"She looks hot Moxxie. Hot as fuck." Millie said as Marie winked.

"Oh come on keep talking like that and I'm sure we can find a hay Bush and mooxie can use those strong hands while I use mine--"

"Marie!" Moxxie said disapproving of her advances..in front of Millie's parents. The couple however were used to this..and had a plan to share her.

"Speaking of strong hands. Meet our newest help-- Striker! Get over here!" Millies dad yelled as a man came riding over on a stallion as Marie's eyes widen as she walked over...and shoved him off the horse.

"wha-I wouldn't--"

"oh yes so sweet aren't you? Yes you are- oh! Placing your nose on mine, so sweet!" Marie yelled.

She wrapped her arms around the horse as she squealed. (So horses place their noses on another horse or owner and share their breathe as a form of affection.) (Also all she cares about is the horse

"oh yeah, boss."

"HM?"

"That's striker. That's his horse you are molesting."

"I'm not molesting-that is- you could have used any word for the horse and you used- I know I said I love horses..but not like that."

"Hah! We're here because the prince is her boyfriend~" Millie said with an over enthusiastic tone..almost too enthusiastic.

"Yeah, Millie I love you and would pin you down, but I'm not above a cat fight with another woman. It's a casual on and off, quid pro quo relationship--wait..is he still wearing my harness?....eh thing never got any use anyway before him." She muttered

Striker was still staring and then he knew he had to put on his southern charm~

"well you must be the lady that's running this murder gig." "Yup." She said bit really paying attention to his as she fussed over Millie's hair, letting her hands linger on Millie before turning to Moxxie.

"You know I was surprised." He continued as Marie fixed Moxxie's bow tie, dragging a nail down his chest.

Crap. "Not many imps start a business..it's impressive." He threw out those words as she stopped and turned to him. Now he had her attention.

"Really? Well..heh..I mean I guess it is.." she said

"Darn right it is." I say. "No loans or other demons being your boss! It must be amazing!"

She perked up at that. "You know you lot should enter the pain games." "Games? I heard games." Marie said once more ignoring striker.

"Every harvest festival there's a competition to see who's the roughest, toughest bastard in wrath."

"Oh--"

"yeah, I wish I could compete."

"Millie ya know you get to carried away." Marie was not really paying attention. "Now you can cheer your boss on."

"Oh no. I'm amazing with a gun, I'm good with arrows, I can bend my body ways you can't imagine but..I'm not good with pain." Marie said.

"You two can root for me?"

"Aw Moxxie."

"Look at you Mox." The two girls let out a sigh.

"Yeah I don't think Thespian types like you will last long."

"I was born here too I so can!"

"Well then." Striker said glaring down at the imp. "Why don't you help me Wrestle that hog for dinner?"

"No problem."

"Oh Moxxie you're so brave." Marie said as Millie looked at him. As happy as she was seeing her husband trying to get in with her parents..she was concerned.

"You don't have to--"

"I do."

"We'll get em tiger! Hey you do it..I'll let you see me without this tiefront top..if you fail, I'm fucking your wife without you." She said as she pushed him in.

'theres no way, she's gonna see what a stupid wimp he is...maybe he'll die if I'm lucky.' Striker thought watching as Moxxie got a hold of the hog before being swung around, panting and sweating as Striker looked over only to see Marie Fanning herself.

"Millie you bagged a good one. Look at that jock. What a specimen..makes me get all excited."

He glared at moxie even more

I glare as I get in and kill the hog..only to see Marie holding Moxxie with Millie..she didn't even look?! I picked it up at least I can get some anger out on the carcass

(next day)

I stood in the crowd as Wally went on about the festival. "Holy--is that Wally? Yo. Mox, Mill, that's Wally. I worked with that southern bastard." She said as Stolas got on the sage as Marie waved to him before stopping herself.

She stopped. "Oh..that's awkward. I was waving to stol--ahem..stretching my arm-" she said laughing.

He blushes and starts up the show. I glare as the games start as I see Marie jump off the bleachers guess she couldn't help but join the action.

I began to climb the wall when she wrapped her tail around mine, using me as a boost to jump from me all the way to the other one as she smiled.

(oh god she's wholesome right now)

(that's actually kind of adorable just imagining her blissfully having fun..while Moxxie is dying.)

(XD yup)

She won that round the next one was up and I proove myself

I grabbed the rope as she seemed to get distracted before she grabbed her rope before she slipped as I looked down at her before tying her and pushing her down. Gently. She blushes darkly at this and squirms.

I quickly realized as my eyes widen letting go of the ropes as soon as they called it as she just got out of them easily. (She couldn't have gotten out..but..where's the fun in that) "you have this Mox!" She yelled suddenly.

The next was the rope tug as I could see her and Moxxie genuinely trying as I just tug the ripe as it snapped sending her back into me as Moxxie fell into the mud.

(I feel like he feels they have a connection)

(XD He probably does XD)

"I help her steady and smell her hair only for her to push me off and into the mud as she helps Moxxie out. That little twerp!

I see her hold him close to her chest as his face went red as I stopped realizing her shirt was open..the only thing covering her..was Moxxie.

(Timeskip)

"Well for the first year we have a tie! The winners are--"

"the winners are Striker!" That blue blood prince said. "and my darling sweet, loving Mar~"

"ugh say my name right you dick--"

"would you rather mistress?" He asked.

"Oh that's fucking worse, fine Mar." She said bit smiled waving to Millie and Moxxie

I growled I hated the bird fuck even more how dare he even think of touching her. That is when jeans down and kisses her I am going make him suffer!!!

Her face exploded in colour as the others gasp in shock as he pulled away and patted her head. And he pays her like a dog? However I noticed the smile on her face as she played with her hands. No. I ain't done yet.

I began to song however..she wasn't interested jumping off the stage as she walked over to Millie and Moxxie as she said something that made the two blush as she kissed both their cheeks and stroked them as she started to walk off with them.

When I had gotten back I see her laying on the ground with my horse as her legs kicked back and forth as I think her eyes were sparkling..and I don't mean that they were shining in a romantic way, they literally seemed to be shining as she watched him eat before getting up to help Millie as I walking inside when I notice my door opened.

"How did he get this?" I hear Mxxie say.

"Why don't you ask him?"

He turns around as I glare at him.

"Why do you have this? This can kill-"

"demon royalty?"

"Well yeah-"

"it could kill you."

"Yes!"

"Your wife"

"absolutely! That's why I-I'm relativity concerned about you having this..also the way you..did you smell my boss' hair?"

(okay good logical thing to be concerned about maybe not in a death situation but xD)

"She is mine and I will not let you take her from me, or that Blue blood fuck!" I snap and wrap my tail around him and slam him into the wall.

I began to choke until he smashed a table and ran to the door opening it as I managed to cover his mouth as he was losing consciousness before I was stabbed as I hiss as his wife jumped on my back as I smashed her into the wall and bring them to the basement as I glare.

"I'd kill y'all--"

"Moxxie! Millie! I need help! I think my bra hook is stuck! nevermind! I got it! Go back to whatever you two were doing!"

I smirked. "But you might be more useful to me alive" I say and lock them in. She will be mine no matter WHAT!

[strikingskeletonsiege]

((Do you have any particular character development you'd like to see any of your boys undergo?))

((Oops almost missed this

Well I got a lot a boys! So let's get through 'em.

{this got long af :V}

Let's start with Siege and Stolas. Both of them were more "come up with the muse and personality and throw them around and see what happens" kind of deals. Stolas I'm a little slower on, I more want to see what future canon stuff comes out and how I can incorporate it, or how well it already fits with what I'm doing. No real plans, just having fun vibing.

Siege is more fun to watch how he changes organically over time, slowly stemming his burn everything and run tendencies and gathering a group of people he earnestly loves, even if he can't yet bring himself to use the word directly. And yet, I kind of want him to hurt someone. Have to more directly tackle who he was with who he's becoming. He got a taste of it when he yelled at Cubot and hated himself for it, but he mostly got out of that without any major consequences. I'd like to see it get messy, painful, in a way he can't avoid or downplay and instead just has to stand up and Deal with it. Or run again, and hurt more than ever.

Comet, Crybaby, my sad, sad, lonely little skel. I wanna get this dummy some more friends. I do want him to get more confident, maybe find some problems he can help with, even fights. I never actually planned for him to be weak, it just sort of worked itself out that way where he never really won any fights against other muses, just a couple NPCs. Though honestly his biggest issues don't have anything to do with that, they're more from how badly he tore himself apart and was hurt by his relationship with Ace turning unhealthy, and then vanishing altogether with no chance for closure let alone reconciliation. He feels like, despite knowing better, that sharing his problems just hurt people. He also very often feels misunderstood when he tries to talk about them anyway, but that's not really their fault when he still holds stuff back anyway. How can anyone help him get through feeling useless when he won't say how he wound up feeling that way? How can anyone understand that he just wants to be able to openly grieve the loss of his old dreams and goals when he won't just say that? Sometimes he feels like he can't talk about how he feels, and sometimes it's a result of him not giving the context to begin with. He wants someone he can rely on, but he's afraid to try looking in case he guesses wrong and hurts someone (again). I think I'm talking in circles at this point and this paragraph is massive now so moving on,

Who next uhhh BEN sure. Ben. I don't know what I'm doing with Ben but it's fun. I had a couple things planned out but it's more on hold now. Those specific things at least. I like the idea of prying into what it's like to have this shit sitting on one's shoulders for so long. To pick and choose what I do and don't like from canon and feel out this version better. To keep a running gag going where he tells people Rook is his partner and they keep assuming he means romantically. Ben's also a guy that holds a lot of stuff back, but he copes with humor, pranks, downplaying some things and playing up others. This boy needs therapy. There's a fun and painful irony of him going to Salmon's Kevin "because [he] won't Worry" to get drunk and talk about how fucked it up was the shit they had to deal with as children, and then turn around and try to downplay the harm of literal child soldiers with Cloud. Like bro that's fucked up. That's a fucked up thing to say. It's fine to admit shit's fucked you up.

Um um um which boy next. Those are pretty much the only active ones.

Slob. idk what to do with Slob most of the time, now. He had a small circle of people he cared about, and most of those muses are no longer active and probably won't be again. He's just kind of There, bein' a li'l shit sometimes. Making remarks that go mostly missed because not a lot of still active people follow him. This doesn't bother him, he's doing pretty well for himself otherwise. Just not a lot to talk about.

Dally. I'd like to play Dally again. I'm working up the nerve to have him just be CUTE (threat) on the dash at least. Like he seems alright but here and there are little hints that he actually kinda fucked up. That's. That's not really character development tho is it, this is kinda irrelevant. Whatever it's 3am I can be incoherent if I wanna.

Hater. I lost drive for Hater. I didn't want to, but man. When you have to explain, over and over, what your rules are and what they mean, to people who say they understand and then continue to break those rules anyway? I can't do dashboard threads and that's all anyone that RPs WOY wanted to do. Sure, I can go all "WOY fandom dni" but I'd want Hebby and their Peepers around for him.

BONUS

I keep tossing around ideas to play more characters from CB's timeline. Like Mettaton. Or have some kind of M!A where either blogstart CB or Undyne or somebody is there as like a ghost that he's just gotta deal with. idk. I'm not the best at plot. I think that's my main issue.))

[helluvamuse]

@hcppyhotel​ said ;; 

❝ i gotta say — out of all the creatures you in hell you could have thrown your life away, an imp ? a risky choice.  ❞ there’s a chuckle that emits from the rooster as he stands up straight, ❝ well, as they say : GO BIG OR GO HOME. you really do know how to pick ‘em, stolas. ❞

answered ;; unprompted

          Oh surely he couldn’t be serious. 

It was one thing to embarrass him out in public, but did he really have to turn up to his home? His desolate, empty home. He had practically emptied it himself in the hopes that his darling Blitzy might join him in it, but he had been a fool. And now here was Asmodeus, here to rub his face in his nearsightedness. 

                    “ Can you not just leave me to my own devices? I do not have the spirit to listen to you go on at this moment. ”

[angel-dust-addict]

Angel was relieved to find himself seated next to Prince Stolas. Of all the bigwigs left - which fortunately didn't include Val, but somehow did include Vox - Stolas was probably the best of the lot. He glanced around the table and mentally amended that to definitely the best of the lot. The rest of them seemed to be interested in the hotel as an abstract, based on their questions to Charlie. Angel knew the prince was actually interested in its residents. And on his other side was Arin, whose namecard read "Aiden" for some reason. Alastor had written them out, though. That was definitely his over-neat handwriting. So given how Arin reacted, this was probably some sort of stupid prank, getting his name wrong on purpose to be a pain in the ass.

When Arin asked who had cooked, Angel grinned. He actually did know. "Smiles. But Nif was helpin', so I'm confident eatin' it. Ain't gonna be any people-meat in it wit' her in the kitchen to tell 'im 'no.'" He laughed in a way that completely didn't mesh with his crafted outward appearance for the night. "She's probably tha only demon brave enough ta smack 'is hand wit' a spoon if he tried ta pull any shit."

He noted gladly that Arin had skipped the champagne, opting instead for his water glass for Charlie's toast. Angel oh so helpfully helped himself to Arin's champagne as well as his own. He was a far way from trying to cut out something as omnipresent as alcohol. At this point, managing to walk away from narcotics would be a huge step. Some nights, that was the only way he could sleep. He wasn't at all prepared to give up the uppers that helped him get through work yet.

He laughed again, more quietly and delicately this time, at Arin's comment about not wanting to know what he did to relax in his room. "Geez, mind outta tha gutta'. You saw Fat Nuggets when you were in my room the night we had that fight. I usually play wit' 'im. Nuggs is my baby. Betta' than a dog, pigs. Just as loyal an' usually smarta'. At least tha four-legged kind!"

Once dinner had started, Prince Stolas leaned over to him and asked, "So, my dear, I don't believe I asked earlier. How did you end up as the princess's test guest? If you don't mind, of course."

Angel considered him for a moment. He wasn't going to decline to answer him. Not only was Stolas royalty, but he had been exceptionally kind earlier. Plus Vox was still here and Val had indicated earlier that he thought Stolas would be interested in him as a client. No harm in encouraging that when it would make Val less pissed at him. All the same, despite Stolas knowing about his work and having treated him no differently for it, this story was very blunt on that point. But maybe he could soften it a bit.

"I don't mind," he replied, carefully modifying his speech. The accent was still there, but the dialect was toned way down. "My boss was upset wit' me. I had missed a shoot because I decided ta deal wit' some otha' business for 'im. It was somethin' a little closa' ta what I did when I was alive. I don't have many opportunities ta make use'a that skill set. When he came ta pick me up, though, he was very angry about me missin' tha shoot. He told me I'd have ta make up what I'd cost 'im. So he left me on a streetcorna' and told me not ta come back until I'd made it all up."

Angel shrugged, trying to appear unaffected, and added, "I got very lucky, because not long afta', Princess Charlie and Vaggie pulled up. They told me they wanted ta talk. I figuahed I could give 'em a few minutes. She's the princess, afta' all. They told me about this place, told me what they were offerin', even paid me fer my time. Enough fer me ta go back an' not have ta spend all night on tha corner. I could tell they were bein' honest, so I said yes. They got me outta a bad situation with housin' without me havin' ta stay at tha studio. That alone was incentive enough."

Prince Stolas looked horrified at several points in his story, and Angel winced internally. But he didn't look disgusted by it at all except when Angel mentioned Val demanding he make up for the lost shoot by turning tricks. And that, Angel could tell, was at Val, not him. It still took a moment for the prince to speak again.

"I see. So this place was a refuge of sorts. At least a partial shelter from those with ill intent," Stolas observed. That reply surprised Angel a little.

"You could say dat," he nodded.

The prince smiled and added, "And Angel, don't feel it necessary to modify your speech for my sake. Goodness knows I'm not bothered by it in the slightest. I rather liked the way you speak." Looking past where Angel was blushing a faint blueish color under his fur, Stolas addressed Arin with the same question. "And you, my dear fellow? How did you come to be here? Again, only if you wish to share your story. I will not order anyone here to reveal anything they wish to put behind them."

Vox and him noticed how Angel had support from other parts and he had smiled a little, knowing now that Angel could see he had help from other people.

"Why did you change it to Arin?" Vox spoke to him and he had sighed, not really a fan of the topic already. "Because I fucking can. Why did you help Val steal my prized possession? Why did you help him clip my wings? I can ask you a lot of whys, whats, hows, and whos but we haven't got the time for that. I offered you a dance and I've give you 6 songs already and you have yet to ask." he said back very serious on the matter.

"Yeah, guess that's fair. So let's talk then. You were an angel, or so we thought and we thought we'd trick you and take your valuables and just leave." he said and at this words he snatched his hands from the demon's hold. He looked like he might attack him but he decided not to. "I wasn't an angel, there was some sort of mistake. My horns were shown when I was up there." he said and crossed his arms. Yes he could in fact dance, but he stopped dancing and began to walk away to the nearest exit with Vox hot on his tail.

"Where are you going?" Vox asked grabbing his wrist making Arin scowl. "To smoke, to do something that doesn't involve possibly breaking your circuit hopefully." he stated and Vox had a clear goal in mind. "Relax, I'm not here to make matters worse for once. Let's just say I'm offering a truce." he said bringing him back to the ballroom.

It's a lie, you can tell when someone's lying. The fucker is lying. Play dumb.

"Go on." he said raising an eyebrow in mock interest. "We can't use it to its full power but you can, so it'd be in your best interest to join us." he started and Arin was frowning again.

It's your fucking pendant! It's your damn power! If they hadn't pulled this dumbass scam they could've JOINED YOU!

"Is that it?" he asked with disinterest, then shook his head. "I don't know what I saw in you." he said under his breath then Vox had presented a bottle of his best alcohol and Arin's senses practically went out of commission. "You have an unhealthy relationship with drinking, right? They're never gonna solve it here. So what's one sip? It's better to accept it then run from it." Vox said stepping closer and he took a step back as his eyes went black and white in panic.

"No. NO. I'm not going down this shithole again-" "We all know the rehabs in hell are frauds, it's best if you just take one little shot and think over my offer again." Vox cut him off, exposing his mental weakness.

Don't.

Just one drink...Just to cut off the edge..

He couldn't even agree on one singular thought and Vox grinned wickedly, he had been moved back thankfully from Arin. But he had put the bottle in Arin's hand. Detaching this is like tearing off Arin's arm to get to it. "Just think it over. I know you'll come to your senses." he said and sauntered away, whoever helped him he knew it wasn't Angel. Angel might returned just now to see this but no he could've still been busy.

But Vox's words got to him, like he hoped they would've.

[hazbincalifornia]

Sip

Chapter 14: Blitzo tells Stolas something new.

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Warnings: Mpreg

Ao3 link

Blitzo flopped back on his bed with an annoyed grunt as his shirt refused to tug down far enough to cover his stomach. The only things that actually fit properly were his hoodies, actually- everything else was too damn tight. Curse his fashionable sensibilities!

Stolas had insisted on meeting in person again for today. Unfortunately, Blitzo had only fully realized that he was starting to get too big for his closet when one of the buttons had popped on his jacket, and Millie had pointed out that his turtleneck had started riding up. He couldn’t really tug his pants up to cover it without looking like a dweeb, so…

Blitzo sighed, sorting through his hoodies before settling on the pink off-shoulder sweater. It was loose enough to make the bump much less obvious, without having to draw too much attention to himself or wear something Stolas gave him. It was a Wednesday, so hopefully, the café wouldn’t be too busy.

_________________

“Ah, there you are!” Stolas waved, grinning as Blitzo nodded back at him.

“Hey.”

“So, any news?” He lifted a small fabric bag. “I brought some teas, to help with nausea.”

Blitzo snatched the bag, peering inside. “Considering the coffee I can drink has been watered down to piss, I might as well give it a try to have something.”

“That’s the spirit!” Stolas dropped down into a booth in the back corner. There was a general bustle around them, but other than a few glances at Stolas, nobody really seemed to be paying them that much attention. Blitzo had a pair of handguns in holsters just in case anybody got any funny ideas, though. “Now, what’s the news?”

“Well…” Blitzo glanced around before tugging on the bottom of his sweater. “The kid’s started getting weird-ass cravings.”

“Oh? What kind?” Stolas waved over to an employee.

“Flesh, mostly,” Blitzo said, picking at the dirt under his nails and flicking it under the table as a teenager in a stained apron came over. Stolas ordered some fancy-sounding drink for both of them, and when the employee started to say something about how they were supposed to order at the front, Stolas waved a fistful of bills. He grabbed them and stuffed them in the apron pocket, hurrying over to the counter.

“Flesh? Interesting… well, tell me if you need any recipes, the chefs have some fascinating ways to cook meat. What kind of flesh?”

“Any, but human especially.”

Stolas couldn’t help a little laugh. “I take it you take care of those urges after you finish a job?”

Blitzo’s fingers tightened into a fist, and a low growl started in his chest. “It’s not like-”

“No, no, I’m not insulting you- it’s quite lucky you have the job that you do if that’s what they want, that’s all!” Stolas looked down at Blitzo. “I’d love to see those humans scream if you chose to just rip their throat out instead of taking them out how you usually do.” His eyes flashed. “You can get quite wild when so inclined.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t already know.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Why don’t I what?” Blitzo raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, and Stolas tapped his forehead right on the symbol with a slender finger.

“Tell me something that I don’t already know,” Stolas replied, bemused. “That’s what these meetings are for, aren’t they?”

“Oh, right. Right!” Blitzo cleared his throat. “Well-”

“Here you go!” The employee set down two lidded cups, and Stolas shooed him away.

“You were saying?” He raised the cup to his beak.

“Before that pimple-faced puberty bomb interrupted us, I was going to say that the kid started moving.”

Stolas spat the scalding-hot tea directly into Blitzo’s face, slamming the cup down on the table. “They what?”

Blitzo scrubbed at it, tongue slithering out as it soaked the pink fabric of the sleeve. Peachy. “Give a guy some fucking warning, won’t you? I don’t need your birdy backwash!”

“They- they moved?” All four of Stolas’s eyes were blown wide open and he shifted in the booth, feathery ass squeaking as he scooted down the shiny seat until Blitzo was about to be squeezed off the edge. Considering he’d started sweating again, his slippery ass just might have if Stolas hadn’t managed to stop himself in time.

“Personal space, much?”

“I- I assumed they’d be an egg, but of course, imps are live births, aren’t they?” Blitzo wasn’t sure if there was any disappointment in Stolas’s tone, but his hands were shaking before wrapping around the bump, pressing the pink fabric firmly around it to mold to the shape. Not for the first time, Blitzo realized just how big those hands were- everything about the guy was huge, including the manic grin spreading across his face as Stolas bent over him. “Can you make them do it again?”

“They do whatever the hell they want, I can’t control- oh, huh.” As if summoned, the little squirt nudged outwards, and Stolas’s fingers tightened. “Don’t pop ‘em, I am not making another one.”

“They’re moving… that’s incredible,”  Stolas breathed. Blitzo glanced around- people were definitely staring now, and he reached around Stolas’s stick arms for one of the guns, waving it at anyone who ogled for too long.

“Don’t you all have your own fuckin’ lives to ruin?”

“Oh, Blitzy, don’t be so melodramatic, this is good! It means they’re healthy!” Stolas’s grin turned cheeky. “I notice you’re in a new outfit. Are your old clothes not fitting? I do like seeing you in something fresh…”

“Yeah, well, I have a specific fashion taste and baby gut doesn’t exactly play nice with clothes that show off my bod.”

“I think it looks darling,” Stolas said, snapping the strap of the black tank peeking out from underneath.

“Stolas!” Blitzo hissed.

“Blitz,” Stolas replied, setting his chin in his hand. “Is there anything else you’ve been keeping from me, my little imp?”

Blitzo furiously re-adjusted the strap. The tank rode the hell up now, but it just felt too weird to wear the sweater without it. “That was the big one.” After Stolas had offered tea for the nausea, there was no real need to bring up the vomiting. He tried to think of it as little as possible the second after it ended anyway.

“Why didn’t you tell me on one of our calls?”

“Figured you’d want to hear the ‘big news’,” (here Blitzo waggled his fingers) “In person.”

“Oh, Blitzy...” His smile melted a little, earnest.

Blitzo grabbed his cup, chugging about half of it in one go before sputtering. “What is this?”

“Oh, it’s a favorite of mine! Do you like it?”

Swallowing down the rest of it in his throat, Blitzo swished saliva around in his mouth before taking another tentative sip. “Well, it tastes better the second time.”

“You’re not supposed to drink it all at once.”

“I don’t need a fussy-ass drink.”

“Some things are more rewarding if you’re willing to wait,” Stolas said, taking a sip of his own. “How goes your job otherwise? Anything interesting besides cannibalizing your kills?”

“There was this one guy who ended up slipping in a puddle of his own piss…”

The rest of the meeting ended up being Blitzo just laughing about particularly idiotic targets and how IMP took them out, but at least Stolas was a half-decent listener. Blitzo already knew that he was a regular client sometimes, but he really seemed invested in the nitty-gritties of just how they went through the process of elimination. Stolas ended up scribbling the drink order down on a napkin ‘in case you ever decide you want some while thinking of me, Blitzy’, and the kid didn’t kick at all on the walk home.

By the time Blitzo was settled back on his bed, they made a single little push outwards, and he found himself absently rubbing his side next to the bump. “Yeah, yeah. I hear you, kid. We’ll get some popcorn later.”

A smile twitched at his face as he imagined the movement afterward was from their hand and they were giving him a little high-five.

[hb-obsessed]

honestly their relationship is difficult but beautiful at the same time. its actually quite an eye opener

(also im teaching myself how to play "look my way" on the piano XD)

Next time you're listening to "Look My Way" and fighting back tears at the sheer scope and beauty of the song, remember that Stolas is sobbing and absolutely pouring his heart out about this guy: