#still trying to work out their relationship. i mean. i know what SOME of it was. points to the sign that says gortash and durge had the

[shouyuus]

some roommatevi! stuff i'd go rabid over you writing >:333

helping vi dye her hair

sharing a bed during a winter power outage (pre-relationship)

pretending to be a couple in front of someone from your past

vi accidentally sending you a flirty text meant for one of her hook ups

wrote the first two :) saving the next two for maybe later hehe

college roommate!vi cinematic universe

"hold still --"

"it tickles!"

you roll your eyes, tugging on a strand of vi's hair, frowning even as she hisses and casts you a half-hearted glare from the mirror you're both staring into, her sitting cross-legged in front of it, you kneeling behind her with your hands in black plastic gloves, trying to lather her roots in enough dye to cover them properly.

"tickles what? your scalp?" you ask, glaring right back as you flip a strand over and pick up a new one. vi bites her lips, huffing out a breath, a faint pinkness creeping into her cheeks.

"nevermind."

you sigh, "well next time you ask me to help dye your roots, tell me before if you have weird scalp sensitivities," you flip over another strand, though this time taking care to be gentler.

vi tuts, "it's not -- ugh. forget it, cupcake."

"alright. there. i think that's..." you look over your work, nodding, "about as good as it's gonna get."

vi shoots you a grin, patting your leg as you stand up and groan, rubbing at your knees, the skin there red from kneeling so long on the hard floor of your apartment.

"thanks cupcake, i owe you one. here --"

you nearly topple over as vi leans in to press a kiss to your knee, her eyebrows kicking up when your ass knocks back into the dining table, staring at her.

"ow -- w-what --"

vi smirks, "to kiss it better."

you press your lips, heat flaring up the back of your throat as she blinks innocently up at you, one of her palms still resting against your thigh, holding your leg up.

"it's -- it's fine, you don't have to --"

but vi's already letting go of one leg, to reach for the other. and you swear there's a dark, almost predatory glint in her eyes as she glances back up at you before dropping a quick kiss to your other knee.

"there. all better, right?"

and you know she's teasing, but your heart is beating hummingbird fast at the back of your throat, and there's a dull humming in your head that makes you wonder if an entire hive of honeybees have moved into the space between your ears.

you can almost taste the sweet syrup of honey on your tongue as you gulp down a breath and vi pushes up to her feet.

"thanks again, dollface. i really do owe you one."

---

"this is insane."

"i know. i've already called the electrical company and the building management --"

"hey sweets, c'mere -- i wasn't talking about you --"

you sigh, letting vi pull you into the pile of blankets atop her bed. she wraps an arm around you, letting you snuggle into her side.

"i know, i know but it just --" she groan, burying your face in her pillow (it smells like her, god it smells like her), "you know i hate it when --"

"stuff doesn't go the way it's supposed to?" you feel her pinch at your waist; you squeak, shooting back up to glare at her. "yeah, trust me. i know."

but her expression is warm, and her laughter, even more so, as she pulls you tighter into the bundle of blankets.

"c'mon... it's not so bad. i mean. at least we can keep each other warm, right?"

you laugh, letting yourself slump into the massive pile of blankets and sheets. you feel her arms looping around you, tugging you closer, and her skin is so hot, so smooth -- smells so good --

"yeah, and you're a human space heater -- god, how do you live during the summers?" you ask, giggling as the pair of you curl up against each other.

"mn. lots of ice-baths."

you shiver, crinkling your nose. you're face to face now, the pair of you cocooned in a nest of fluffy blankets.

"ice baths?"

"yeah, it's good for muscle recovery."

you giggle, shaking your head, "i can't imagine willingly subjecting yourself to that for... muscle recovery."

"yeah? and you think drinking fifteen cups of coffee in a 12 hour span is good for you?"

you let out an indignant squeak even as vi grins.

you bicker about this or that for another fifteen minutes or so before vi inches closer; your noses almost brush in the midnight dark, the winter moon half-full and glowing distantly outside her window.

"think it'll be fixed by tomorrow?" you ask, sighing as you pull a bit of blanket closer to yourself over your shoulder. vi makes a noncommittal noise, jerking you towards her till your entire bodies are pressed, and you have to stop yourself from trying to count all the different and distinct points of contact -- ankles, knees, thighs, hips, her palm pressing to the small of your back, holding you close, close, closer --

"maybe. maybe not. but if it isn't --" vi shifts so that your noses actually do brush and it takes everything inside you not to either pull back or press in closer, "at least you'll still have a me as a human space heater."

you smile, nuzzling in, reaching out to press your palm against the bend of her waist. she gasps, just the smallest breath, but you hear it. up this close, you can almost hear the sound of her heartbeats. you wonder, in the same breath, if she can hear the sound of yours.

"yeah," you say, grinning as vi tries to cough away the blush threatening her cheeks, "that i do. and i guess i should thank my lucky stars, huh."

vi smiles, "or, you could just thank me instead."

[shysuccubusstuff]

dragon! Sylus hc:

Content: SFW + NSFW stuff; slight stalker behaviour + lovesick! sylus + size difference + established relationship + hemipenis (double dick, basically) + unrealistic sex + breeding kink + aftercare; non proof-reader.

Note: ofc I had to write something about this hunk-- I mean, I've been saving some wishes for him (got around... 46??) so yeah, I'm really close to pity so I hope to be lucky and get him cause he's so FUCKING hot with his tail and horns... Hope everyone is doing fine!! I already did the pulls, sadly I didn't get both, so now I'm stuck with one of them and one card for Sylus which is not the pair (I got Immobilized I think it's called). I haven't seen the actual story cause I still have the hope of getting it, so bear with me if I mess up/invent stuff cause, yk. I tried to do some research about how a dragon "thing" would work but damn, I ended up on a deep rabbit hole... let me know if you liked it ♡♡

Dragon! Sylus who finds you trying to steal his treasure. You look so tiny in contrast with him that it makes him want to eat you up ♡. Despite that, he restrians himself, not wanting to break his brand new toy so fast.

Dragon! Sylus who turns into his human form in fear of crushing you with one of his claws. Even despite he is several times smaller, you still look so tiny close to him... God, he really is trying his hardest you know?

Dragon! Sylus who acts all rough at first, threatening you with his mean words and his nasty demeanor when in reality he is dying to touch you. So he does, getting close to you so he can "threaten" you with his size, his tail slowly wrapping around your waist as he whispered his empty threats.

Dragon! Sylus who almost chuckles after seeing you retreat, one of your pockets filled with golden coins you had managed to "steal" (he let you take them, of course). Little did you know that this would basically give him a great excuse to follow you around, always feeling his pair of eyes piercing your back, always unable to find him among the crowd. Other times, he simply hid on the dark alleys, his red eyes glistening just from the idea of being found out by you.

Dragon! Sylus who is ecstatic when you finally regain your courage to return to him (his treasure). He has to try as hard as possible to avoid smiling like an idiot when he sees you amost trembling in front of him, yet you try to keep that brave facade.

Dragon! Sylus who keeps his act together, acting all high and mighty, acting as if he doesn't care when he sees your eyes sparkling, not because of him, but because of the great amount of fortunes he had gotten from all those years. Does it even make sense to feel jealous because of some stupid treasures?...

Dragon! Sylus who is able to slowly warm you up. It begins as a merely transactional relationship, always letting you get your way with him. You wanted his golden coins? Sure, take them. Needed some jewellery? Take what you want. Need a fast trip somewhere? You know he will let you ride him (funny word). Then, he gets more touchy, he starts by brushing your fingertips when the two of you walk through the gorgeous field of flowers, then catching you on his arms as you almost trip, finally allowing you to get on top of him as your hands touched his bare chest.

Dragon! Sylus who slowly gets accustomed to the human ways, slowly learning how to hide his horn and tails, then taking you to small dates around town, buying you anything your fingers touch with the excuse of "having too much gold pilling around was no fun".

Dragon! Sylus who learns about the human custom of gifting a ring to their loved one. He thinks about simply choosing one from his pile, but he finally decides to create a custom one. He spends several days working on it, thinking about the best design for it and what jewel would he want encrusted, finally choosing a red spinel.

Dragon! Sylus who confesses in the middle of the blooming field, getting on one knee and proposing to you, his heartbeat pumping rapidly, making him afraid of the possibility of you hearing it.

Dragon! Sylus who ends up shedding a few tears after you accept him. The tears rapidly dry because of his high temperature, but you kiss them, making him feel even more flustered.

Dragon! Sylus who almost drops the small snack you two had bought when you suddenly told him that you wanted him to do it, that you had been waiting for him to say anything. He tries to play it cool, acting as if he doesn't truly understand you, not like his grip turning the snack into bits.

Dragon! Sylus who sometimes snuck on your room, carefully sitting on your bed, laying on top of your chest and enjoying your sweet scent. The slit on his lower half opening and allowing his erection to rise. He tried to steady his breathing, afraid of being caught by you. He started to use his hand, slowly going up and down, as one of his hands caressed your hair. He knew it was wrong, of course he did, but his rut was far too close and this was the only way of keeping just enough sanity for him not to jump at you at the slightest touch.

Dragon! Sylus who tries his best not to hurt you, letting you ride you, his hands gripping your hips to avoid you taking more than you could handle. "Be careful, sweetie. There's no rush, we have all the time in the world." He keeps reassuring you as you try to get used to his whole lenght, his other cock rubbing against your tummy as you hug his back, your nails digging on his back as he slowly made his way into you.

"You're doing so well, sweetie. Remember to breath, yeah? I'm almost completely inside." He whispers into your ear, one of his hands petting your hair while the other keeps you in place.

Finally, you let out a heavy sigh, finally being able to rest while his tip rubs against your cervix. He keeps you there for a few seconds, letting you adjust to him until you start to move your hips, his hands now supporting your thighs. Despite the rhythm starts quite slow, Sylus soon takes charge of it, starting to speed up as he got closer. At the same time, he keeps leaving soft kisses all over your face, intercalating between soft pecks and his tongue exploring your mouth, sucking on your tongue or bitting your lower lip as an attempt of avoiding you getting cock-drunk.

"You said you were ready, where did all your spirit go, sweetie?" He pushed you away, forcing you to look him in the eyes as his hips kept slamming against you. "I do have to say that this look fits you quite well, here on my lap all dazed because of me. Sure you have to go back home? I could treat you so well here... Get you all knocked up and pretty, treat you like a queen every single day, just think about it." He forced you to keep the eye contact by keeping your chin up with one of his hands, the other pressing against your lower stomach so you could feel his tip constantly hitting against your G-spot.

Even as you tried to stop him from running his mouth, you were still far too dazed, fat tears running down your cheeks as he kept overstimulating you orgams after orgasm without giving you a single break. His grip on your hips tightening as his member started to twitch inside you. "Get ready sweetie, I'm close. Want me to fill you up? Get you pregnant with my seed so you can finally stay with me forever."

You nodded, your brain far too overwhelmed to make a coherent sentence, only beinf able to nod as you blabbered a few words: "Get me pregnant, please! Love you, love you so much! Just fill me up--- My brain is turning into mush!" He smiled wickedly, eyes glistening with desire as he got to mark you completely with his seed, his tongue exploring your mouth as he kept trying to keep himself as controlled as possible.

By the time you were back up, Sylus was resting under you, your face completely rested against his bare chest. "You did so good, sweetie. Let me take you to a lake I know, the water is quite warm at this time of the year, we can bathe together. Let me take care of you, I will clean you up." He kissed your forehead, taking you bridal style and starting to fly with you on his arms, one of them covering your face to avoid the air annoying you.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —�� up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

5. apocalypse

contains: sfw content! fluff!

summary: hamzah takes you on date woohoo

a/n: the ending of this part just felt like the song apocalypse by cigarettes after sex so that is where the title is from!

last part: stay here forever

the second that hamzah had left your apartment that morning, you decided that it was time to officially end things with matthew. you couldn't keep leading him on- not when you knew just how infatuated you were with hamzah.

as much as you wanted to simply send him a text or a have quick phone call, you decided that telling him in person would be best. in your teenage years, you would’ve happily ghosted him. now that you were older, you realized that meeting face to face was the most respectful way to end your relationship with him.

you texted him asking him to meet you at a nearby coffee shop. and now, the two of you were sat across from each other in the nearly empty cafe. the room was eerily quiet as he studied your face, a look of confusion over his.

“so..” he spoke, “are we planning our seattle trip? i was thinking we could leave early in the morning on friday.”

“actually, that’s what i needed to talk to you about.” you explain before taking a sip of your latte.

his brows furrow slightly, “what do you mean?”

you take a deep breath. “i can’t go on that trip with you matthew and i- i don’t think we can keep seeing each other.”

his lips part in disbelief, an upset expression creeping onto his face.

“i’m so sorry matthew.” you apologize.

“where is this coming from?” he questions, his voice harsh. “what happened?”

“it’s not you- at all.” you hated how cliche you sounded. “you’re amazing like truly- you’re one of the most respectful guys i’ve ever met and you’ve been so sweet, i just-“

“you what?” he cuts you off, “you don’t want this?” he says, motioning his hands between the both of you as he refers to your relationship.

“listen, i thought i was ready to move on from my last relationship but i’m just not ready. that’s all. i need to work through some things before i’m ready to get into a new relationship.”

maybe you were lying to him just a little bit. but he didn’t need to know that the real reason you couldn’t move on from your last relationship was because you just can’t seem to stay away from your ex.

“you’re seriously still hung up on your ex?” he chuckles as he shakes his head angrily.

you weren’t sure how to respond. you sat there speechless as he spoke again.

“wow. that’s great. so this entire time that i’ve been doing everything to make you happy, doing everything to build this relationship with you— and you’ve just been thinking about your ex?”

you’ve been doing worse than just thinking about him, you thought.

“no, no- listen, i wasn’t trying to lead you on or anything. i really did like you- but my head isn’t in the right place yet and it isn’t fair to you for me to keep pretending that it is.” you explain, your chest tightening. you hated this.

"you could've told me sooner." he sighs, "instead of letting me believe we were actually forming something here."

you look down, "i'm sorry, i just didn't realize it until-"

"until what?" he cuts you off, "until you hooked up with him?"

fuck. you let out a harsh breath, looking away from him.

"nice, y/n. well, i hope it was worth it. i was ready to fully jump into a relationship and you were off fucking your ex." he whispered angrily.

"c'mon, you're being overdramatic- we only dated for a couple weeks." you roll your eyes at him. you knew he'd be a little upset but you could've never predicted this kind of reaction.

"no- fuck you y/n. i thought you were different." he says while standing from his seat, grabbing his cup of coffee and stomping towards the exit.

you prop your elbows on the table in front of you, bringing your head to your hands as you take a moment to process what just happened. the conversation didn't go exactly as planned, but at least it was over.

and now you could focus all your attention on rebuilding what you had with hamzah.

…

the next day was spent feeling embarrassingly excited over your date with hamzah. before he had left your apartment the other day, you two decided to unblock each other’s numbers. the “no contact” era was officially over. and god, you were happy about it.

he texted you telling you to “dress up pretty.” and that he was picking you up at seven.

so now, at five o’clock, you were already doing your makeup. you couldn’t help it. you were so excited.

you were sitting on your bathroom counter, applying each product while singing along to cheesy love songs.

after, you carefully curled your hair and slipped into a long, silky black dress. it was simple but it fit you perfectly- made you feel sexy.

as you walk outside your apartment building, you feel the crisp night air hit you, bringing goosebumps to your uncovered arms. he looks over at you from his spot in the driver’s seat and smiles before climbing out of the car. he walks over to the passenger side, holding open the door for you.

you sit down on the seat and hmazah shuts the car door before leaning his elbows onto the open window, quickly pressing his lips to yours.

he smiles as he pulls away, “hey pretty girl.”

his eyes scan you up and down, his smile never leaving his face. the way he looked at you made you feel like the most attractive woman alive.

“hi.” you respond, unable to contain the excited grin that crept onto your face.

he walks back around, climbing back into the driver’s seat and starting the car. he drives you to the small italian restaurant you two had frequented often within the duration of your relationship.

it was the restaurant you two went to for every anniversary, any sort of celebration, or birthday. there was a piano player that played quietly in the corner. the room was illuminated with candlelight among the tables within the room.

everything about the place was beautifully warm. it’s why it was your guy’s go-to fancy dinner place.

the owner, antonio, spotted the two of you from across the room. quickly walking over to your table.

“my favorite couple!” he exclaims, arms reaching out to gesture towards you two. “finally back together!”

you turn your head away, laughing at antonio’s familiar boldness.

“you miss us that bad?” hamzah asks, grinning.

“miss you? no- i missed the drama. every time you two came in it was like watching a movie. much more entertaining than the dirty dishes.” he laughs.

“mhm, thank you for the warm welcome.” you say, stifling a laugh.

“as always.” he responds quickly, “i’m guessing that you two want your usual?”

“yes, please.” you answer him, smiling at him as you hand over the menu that had been lying on the table in front of you.

he nods before walking back towards the kitchen.

hamzah looks back towards you as antonio walks off, “he totally missed us.”

“he missed being nosy.” you correct him, giggling.

hamzah laughs with you. as the laughter dies down, his eyes lock with yours- a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“why are you looking at me like that?” you question, a hint of sass in your tone.

“just wondering how you get even more beautiful each time i see you.” he replies, reaching his hand across the table to interlock his fingers with yours. his thumb rubbing gently across your skin.

“oh, stop.” you look away, trying to hide your blushed cheeks and uncontrollable smile from him.

“you’re still the worst at taking compliments.”

“mm, maybe i’m just not as conceited as you are.” you tease.

“conceited? nah. it’s just confidence, baby. you think i’d be able to pull someone like you without it?”

you shake your head at him. you remember just how charming he was the first time you two met. you were taken aback at first- his confident demeanor being a stark contrast from the awkwardly funny character he portrayed online. his flirty personality had caught you by surprise and reeled you in.

"you could pull anyone you want, hamzah. i mean- look at you! i know you've seen all those edits of yourself." you ramble, trying to emphasize just how attractive he was.

he laughs, "people just edit to edit- it's a creative outlet. it's like an art form."

"no, no- they edit you because you're gorgeous."

you watch his mouth upturn into a sweet smile. "thank you," he pauses, "see how easy it is to accept a compliment?"

you laugh in response. soon, antonio brings out your usual order. you two continue talking about anything and everything while sharing the pasta and sipping on your glasses of wine.

he was absolutely in his element. making witty jokes while slipping in the occasional compliment. retelling stories you’d heard a thousand times and making it just as interesting as it was the first time. you were so effortlessly drawn to him.

and he truly looked beautiful. the candlelight illuminated his face in way that made him look almost angelic. you could tell he took extra time getting ready- each curl laying perfectly on his head.

he was wearing a black button up, sleeves rolled up his forearms. the sight of the undone top button bringing indecent thoughts to your mind. you imagined unbuttoning all those buttons, sliding his shirt off, running your hands along his biceps…

“you ready to get out of here?” he asks, snapping you out of your fantasies.

“yeah.” you smile, collecting your purse from off the ground.

as you walk out of the building, you turn to him, “did you want to come back to my apartment?” you ask, hoping your fantasies would become a reality.

“nope.” he grins mischievously. you feel disappointment bubbling inside you until he continues. “not yet—i’ve got plans for us. what does nicki minaj say in that one song? the night is still young?”

you chuckle, "that's a great song! we're listening to that in the car." you demand as you two approach the car.

he doesn't tell you where you two are headed during the drive, explaining that if he told you, it would "ruin the surprise." you guys ride with the windows down. you stick an arm out the window- the crisp air hitting your skin in a way that was refreshing.

you two blast music during the drive. you forced him to listen to your corny pop songs and he unashamedly sang along with you. his hand finds it way to your thigh. his fingers dance along the silky material of your dress. his touch brings butterflies to your stomach.

you were on the outskirts of the city now, driving through tree-filled hills. where was he taking you?

finally, the car approaches a parking lot in front of a dome shaped building. the architecture was breathtaking. but you still wondered why he had taken you here.

"what is this place?" you ask, stepping out of the car.

"an astronomical observatory. you always talked about how sad it made you that we couldn't really see stars in the city, so i wanted to bring you to the stars." he answers, walking toward you. "and i know how into constellations you are, so i just thought-"

"hamzah." you cut off his rambling. you step closer to him, reaching your arm out to place a hand on his cheek. his eyes are locked on you, scanning your face. he looked as if he was trying to read your expression- have better insight into your mind.

you inch your face closer to his. your noses touching as he brings his hands to your waist.

you close the gap between you two, colliding your lips with his. the kiss was slow, passionate. you pull away, keeping your hands on his face as you say, "you're so sweet. thank you for taking me here."

you loved how thoughtful he was. he noticed each intricate detail of you, and remembered each one. it felt so good to be seen in that way.

he interlocks his fingers with yours as you walk into the building.

you enter the main hall. the building was even more beautiful on the inside. the navy blue walls were lined with glowing dots in the formation of constellations and images of various planets. there were numerous signs with information on astronomy and interactive stations.

"this place is cool." he exclaims, "you like it?" he looks down at you, grinning.

"i love it." you smile at him, giving his hand a quick squeeze before pulling him into a room full of projectors.

the dark room had a projection of a star's life cycle, showing the star's evolution from a nebulae into a massive star that eventually ends in a supernova explosion.

hamzah's eyes watch the projection curiously. "the explosion at the end is quite dramatic." he comments.

"stars are very dramatic. they burn so bright- they essentially destroy themselves in the end."

he turns his head toward you. "very poetic."

"it's just science," you laugh, "they run out of hydrogen fuel."

he smiles at you, "you make science sound like poetry."

you give him a soft, shy smile before dragging him to the other side of the room where constellations were projected along the large wall and the ceiling above you.

"alright, smarty pants- what's this one?" he points to the constellation directly in front of him.

your heart warms at the sound of the familiar nickname. "that one is orion. it's supposed to look like a giant hunter holding up a sword." you explain, using your pointer finger to trace the outline. "oh! and that one over there- is scorpius. the scorpion that was supposedly sent to sting hunter orion after he said that he could defeat any beast. "

"woah, i didn't know constellations had crazy lore like that."

"yeah, and that's just one version of like hundreds of different stories across different cultures- it's really cool."

he looks at you sweetly, "that is really cool." he says. and you can tell that he means it.

you stay in there a while, explaining the lore behind each constellation hamzah pointed to. eventually, you two make your way up towards the outdoor observation area.

this was a large outdoor balcony filled with multiple large telescopes leaned against the metal railing along the edge.

you make your way towards the first telescope you see, quickly bringing your eye to the lens.

"it's so pretty! look!" you move to the side, letting hamzah take a peek.

after a while of taking turns looking at the stars up close, you two find a bench, sitting down while still looking up at the night sky.

"tell me some more star facts." he requests as he drapes an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer toward him. his warmth comforting in the cold night air.

you think for a second. "in ancient times, people thought their entire fate was predestined by the stars."

"really?" he asks, and you nod in response. "what do you think?"

"i think that the idea that our lives are sort of 'written in the stars' is kinda comforting. but sometimes, i think it's silly to put so much faith into bundles of burning gas." you laugh.

"i think those bundles of burning gas are doing something right." he responds.

"yeah? how so?"

"because they brought me here. with you." he glances over to you.

you meet his glance, "are you saying we were written in the stars?"

"yeah." his lips turn into a soft smile.

"you're such a romantic." you laugh, playfully hitting his chest with your hand.

"hey! i can't help it! you bring it out of me." he chuckles.

you sit in silence together for a moment. you rest your head to his shoulder as you continue staring up at the stars in front of you.

the observatory was far enough from the light pollution of the city that you could actually see stars. many of them.

you notice hamzah's head turning side to side- as if he was scanning the area.

looking around with him, you realize you two were alone out here.

he stands from his spot on the bench, stepping in front of you and reaching a hand out.

"are we leaving?" you question.

"no, no- just c'mere." he says, reaching his hand closer to you.

you take his hand and he leads you to the middle of the rooftop.

he stops. he takes both your hands in his and places them on top of his shoulders. after, his own hands find their way to your waist.

"dance with me."

"hamzah, we don't have any music." you giggle.

"just follow my lead." he chuckles, moving his feet and swaying your bodies together.

you move together in the middle of the observation area. the only source of light coming from the moon and stars above you.

you snake your arms around his neck as you continue swaying with him. his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you to him tightly. you rest your head to his chest- the sound of his heartbeat bringing you peace.

you feel him press a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you dance.

this moment must've been written in the stars, you think. you were always meant to be here- to be with him.

a/n: we r so back. if my star lore is wrong im sorry.... blame google....also i think the next part is going to be smut.. unless yall dont want that then i will think of something else lol so let me knowww also i did not proofread bc im tired

k bye muah

[drdemonprince]

doctor demon prince im in my 5th year of undergrad suffering from functional freeze and Cant Write Papers disease (subtype where i eventually write it 7 months later and its really good for how rushed it is). ive also been doing unmasking work and trying to make progress w my nervous system and my relationships, i still have a long way to go . im going to graduate eventually (who fucking knows when) but with a pretty shit gpa.

Anyway my question is why the fuck do i keep wanting to get a masters degree when i know this setting sucks real bad for me. i love 2 learn but either dont have a handle on my adhd/autistic workflow yet or simply dont have the combination of traits it takes to succeed in academia. and i have student loans. i probably wont be accepted to any masters programs anyway but i dont know what else to do !!!!!!!!!!! 🙃 seeing as this is the transgender autistic grad student website maybe u or some of ur followers have advice for me..... 🫶 ok thank u byeee

I'm sorry to have to say this, but why do you want to go to graduate school? It will drive you deeply into debt, cause you a huge amount of stress, subject you to a wildly inaccessible environment where student neurodivergences are often unfairly cast as signs of laziness and lack of academic potential, and, in a majority of fields, it doesn't lead to improved career prospects (typically, the equivalent amount of time spent working in your chosen profession will get you just as far, if not farther, than a graduate degree).

I don't recommend graduate school to almost anyone. Graduate school was a stigmatizing, exhausting, abusive, exploitative, traumatizing experience for me that left me profoundly socially isolated and physically sick, and trained me in an increasingly irrelevant and scientifically unsound field that basically does nothing but regurgitate neoliberal truisms back to the elites that already believe in them.

Some of the faults I've just listed don't apply to *every* academic field in the world -- but it does apply to most of them!

I think it's important for people to know that Master's degree programs are, by and large, created as a revenue source for universities. Undergraduate enrollment has hit a wall -- there's only so many more people who can go to college, in a world where college has become increasingly obligatory, college pays off professionally far less than it used to, and in times of low unemployment there's very little reason to go to school -- and so the possibility of growing undergraduate enrollment has become more and more thin. This means universities have been unable to turn growing profits for years. And that's what matters to them -- profits.

Left without the revenue source of more college students' tuitions, universities have turned toward courting repeat customers -- duping college graduates who are unhappy with their post-graduate career prospects by investing in even more school. In most Master's degree programs, there are very high fees, very limited financial aid, and very very limited mentorship (compared to, say PhD programs, where shepherding you through the program is at least an advisor's duty).

I've worked in higher ed administration for years now and I've seen how disposable Master's degree students are taken to be -- they're paying for a pricey credential and they get very little out of it, in the end -- in most programs, and most contexts. When we need to fill a budget gap, we create a new Master's program -- without regard for whether it is necessary, and without ever being able to prove it will aid our graduates in getting jobs, or even that the degree will fill a necessary niche.

You can feel free to write back to me if yours is a field where a master's degree is necessary or yields positive career outcomes for a great many people (social work and athletic training come to mind). But even still, I don't think you should subject yourself to a completely inaccessible environment that you are already struggling in and taking on more debt to do so. You deserve better than that. And 99% of graduate programs will not do right by you.

If you'd like to read more about just how exploitative graduate programs generally are, and why, I recommend Karen Kelsky's book The Professor is In, or her blog of the same name:

[maudie-duan]

Myster Girl *Part ll*

Series Summary: For nearly two years, Harry has been fighting to keep his relationship with Olivia afloat. At what point do you make a choice to either endure or let the stain of the world defeat his ambitious hopes of a lasting relationship? Or will a single night and a fleeting encounter be enough to change the projection of Harry’s path? Maybe our ‘Mystery Girl,’ Shiloh, will just happen to be in the right place at the right time.

 If you missed *Part l* check it out here!!!

A/N-Shout to all the kind support I got for Part l:

@sassamanda77 @babegoalsreads @howling-wolf97 @palmettogal508 @indierockgirrl

Word Count: 2K

Warning: Strong language, minor angst, eventual smut, emotional. ********This story is a bit of a slow burn. So hang tight!********

Shilohs (POV) Part ll- Mystery Girl

***

I knew my time in Italy would be short. There was so much to cram into three days and barely enough time to do it. The second we got off the plane was a whirlwind, and in less than 24 hours, I was already sitting front row at a Gucci Cruise Show, slowly losing my mind with the chaos and excitement it brought.��

An illusive fever dream—I sat exhausted, staggering between the reality of it all, attempting and failing to shake my jetlag—delirium blooming into the worst case of imposter syndrome I think I’ve ever had to face head-on. It felt like I was playing dress-up in some rich woman’s closet. Except it was the complete opposite—There I was, sitting in a costume-beaded dress,thinking, “I better not fuck this up!” It was annoying because who cared what I—a nobody—was doing? The room was filled with high-profile people; I was just lucky to be there.

I won’t lie and say the show wasn’t a big deal—My best friend was originally going to join me, but she was probably still crouching over the toilet back at the villa, trying to figure out where the hell she got food poisoning, leaving me to survive on my own—I was alone. I felt like an idiot wearing sunglasses in a dark room, but my anxiety was through the roof. I didn’t want anyone to notice if I was staring or draw attention to myself in any way. I had already accumulated enough compliments on my dress that all I wanted was to run and hide; I don’t do well with compliments.

—let me just say fangirling is real, and while my career has somehow morphed into me dealing with celebrities, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a big fan of most a majority of the time.

What made things worse was every time I slumped in my chair, the dress would pinch my ass, so I had to sit upright, super straight, making me feel more rigid than I already felt. All I wanted was to relax in the moment and give it the gratitude it deserved, but instead, I found myself counting down the minutes, waiting for the chance to stand, move around— and breathe.

I didn’t go straight to the afterparty—Of course, I did the appropriate thing and found the furthest bathroom from the party and called Annelise—My best friend—Who by now was tucked away in bed, feeling closer to human than she did before I walked out the door. 

“Dude, I can’t believe you’re there. It’s like it doesn’t feel real to be in Italy…granted, I’ve been sick most of it—” Annie says as I wedge the phone between my ear and shoulder to wash my hands.

“But still, like you’re really doing this. This is a big fucking deal,” she adds, and she’s right; this is a big deal, and I’ve been trying to play it cool all night. 

I lean forward, trying to touch up my lipstick, “This is a big deal for ALL of us. You’re just as much a part of this as I am. Without you and Kevin, I would probably still be working at Starbucks, cringing every time someone asked for cold foam on a fucking hot drink—”

“Why do people do that?” I ask, “Don’t they know that that shit curdles? Do they even know what curdle means? Just ask for whip cream, dammit; it’s literally the same thing…and it’s free.”

She laughs into the phone, “No, seriously…and the audacity for them to throw a fit when you try and explain that to them. It’s like, Dude, I’m on your side…” 

“No, exactly! It’s like fuck you, then. I hope your stomach hurts later, Asshole.” We both laugh, enjoying that last bit a little too much.

Somehow, this seems to calm me down—the normalcy it brings. I’m trying not to stare at myself too long in the mirror. I know the longer I stare, the more I’ll pick myself apart. “I don’t want to go back…” I breathe into the phone, a nervous surge climbing, and I look down at my phone to check the time.

“Dude, we’ve been talking for almost thirty minutes. I should probably get this over with,” I say.

“You’ve got this, Shi—” she starts.

“Yes, SHY is exactly how I feel!” I blurt out.

She exhales, “Shiloh, you’re the most personable person I know. Just go in there and pretend like you’re working. Be in “go mode.” And if you see the love of my life, text me right away!”

“I thought Kevin was the love of your life?” I question.

“I think you can have more than one love in life—” she explains, “Kevin is my current love—”

“Kevin is your ONLY love,” I emphasize, leaning against the counter and flinch when the dress pinches my ass cheek, and I’m upright in a matter of seconds. 

“Okay, Kevin is my ONLY love, but Harry Styles was my FIRST love.”

I roll my eyes, glancing at myself one last time in the mirror, trying to hype myself up, “Oh god, Dude, I forgot about your obsession with him. I’m still not sure I’m seeing the draw—”

“Shiloh, I’ve tried to explain this to you a million times…” She has that tone like she’s about to lecture me, and I quickly cut her off. I’ve heard her reasoning so many times now. I totally missed the “One Direction Era,” so I don’t think I’ll ever get it, or at least not on a level that I can connect with. Not with the enthusiasm and passion she holds for one single human—She’s hopelessly devoted, and I can respect that. I felt the same way about Leonardo DiCaprio the first time I saw him in Romeo and Juliet. My thirteen-year-old brain burned his face to memory. Now, no matter how old he gets, I’ll only ever see him as that—The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy of my dreams.

“I won’t be that girl that takes a picture to send to her friends…that’s too weird for me…” I tell her.

“I would never ask…just tell me exactly what he’s wearing. If you get close enough, breathe him in for me, and if his pants are hugging…you know…PLEEEASE tell me if it’s as big as it looks in pictures. I swear he’s packing heat, Dude.” She pleads. 

I shake my head, even though I know she can’t see me, “You have no fucking shame, Annie. I will not be objectiving some dude.” I laugh, “Plus, you’ve trained me well, and I haven’t seen him yet. But I promise you’ll be the first to know.”

It took me two drinks to relax. At first, I stuck close to Alessandro because he was the one who invited me, and he carried the conversation as if it wasn’t a big deal that I was monopolizing his time. Eventually, people began to interrupt us—understandably, since he was technically the guest of honor; this was his show, after all— As I made my way to get a third drink, I debated whether it was a good idea. But perhaps this was one of those “go big or go home” moments, and everyone else seemed to be well on their way to getting drunk.

That was when I spotted him across the room—Harry Styles—My best friend’s dream man, and seeing him was a strange rush of familiarity, like deja vu, like I had already been here at this very moment in time—This was the part of my life I couldn’t wrap my brain around: the realization that celebrities are real people. It’s hard to explain the surreal feeling of coming face to face with someone usually projected as a larger-than-life figure. But, once you have a real conversation, you realize they’re just as human as you, like worrying if they have food stuck in their teeth. At least, that was my thought when I ran into Stevie Nicks while she was getting some hors d’oeuvres, and she asked that very question.

And so this is what my night turned into. I exchanged somewhat meaningful conversations with people and enjoyed myself more than I would have imagined. The weirdest part about the evening was somehow Harry had become my focal point; it was like every time I looked up, he was somewhere in my line of sight—and I don’t mean like, “He’s so hot, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him,”—Not that he’s not hot—it was more of a weird energetic pull, and the more I watched him, the more I noticed a gentleness about him. The way that he interacted with people. How his kindness infiltrated every conversation, he seemed to get hooked into. 

It was as if he were the most famous person in the room, and everyone wanted a piece of him—I avoided him at all costs and the draw of his presence, which became more apparent as the night stretched on, sucking me in like I had no choice. Yet, there was comfort in it, and although he didn’t know me, we had a commonality; that was my best friend, and maybe that was the draw, after all, that he reminded me of her. So the rest of the night, any time I felt myself getting overwhelmed or drifting inward. I would find him in the room and find my center.

I found myself getting attached to the idea that he was becoming my lifeline for the evening. I know I sound completely ridiculous, but it’s a feeling I couldn’t describe even if I tried. Maybe I could say it was all the stories that Annie had filled my head with, but seeing him in person was different. I was beginning to see the attraction that everyone had. 

This continued, and eventually, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I must have stolen a thousand glances in Harry’s direction, but not one time did I catch his eye, nor was I trying—plus, I was being extra careful because I didn’t want his girlfriend, who was glued to his side, to see me. I couldn’t think of a worse feeling than being “another girl staring at her man,” I don’t know how she was doing it. So many people were bidding for his time, stealing pictures. Several times, I saw her pushed to the wayside, holding a desperate scowl; she wasn’t good at hiding.

I couldn’t imagine what it was like to date a “heartthrob.”—Well—I do, actually. I dated this guy right before he got his breakout role. This kind of put me on the map the more people consumed him. The collateral damage was that it upped my rising following when they found out his “cute influencer” girlfriend was likable.

I guess, in a way, I know that feeling, and I learned a lot from that experience and how I would navigate any relationship moving forward, whether they’re famous or not—In a way, I pitted her. She looked miserable. She didn’t leave his side all night, but something about it didn’t feel authentic. It felt forced, almost performative even, and as I glanced up to get another look, they were both looking at me. 

My brain went blank, and my first reaction was to avoid making eye contact with Harry. So I did the most natural thing and gave the girlfriend the attention. My instinct was to compliment her dress, and that’s what I did. 

Before, I could allow my panic to seize the moment. I turned away as smoothly as possible, heart hammering in my chest, and bolted to the bathroom to call Annie. When I got back, Harry was on stage with Stevie singing Landslide. I hung toward the back in case I cried because who could hear this song and not relate to it in some way? Not feel the weight of the emotion when you realize how fleeting life truly is.

Then Harry started singing, and my stomach dropped. The words soared through me like a gust of wind, chills running up my arms to the tips of my ears. I couldn’t pinpoint the feeling as the room grew smaller, as my cheeks warmed. I felt like he was calling me out; my body heating with it, like hearing each word for the first time, and when he pulled away from the mic, his voice choking up, I thought I would lose it right then and there—but then Olivia was pushing past me, the faint light catching her tear-stricken face. My gaze followed as she stormed out the doors and into the hallway. 

A/N: If you want to be tagged in my next post, let me know! Thank you guys for all the support!!!

[starrycassi]

I think the funniest part of my jayvik work for silco au and the reaction that its latest snippet created in people (by people I mean my two delusional friends that constantly scream at me for being "cruel" and "mean") is that Jayce is 100% convinced that Viktor and him are dating. He literally let his life behind for this man (I mean he was technically about to get vanished but the sentiment is there) after hooking up one (1) time. He's fully aware of the fact Viktor drugged him + stole from him and forgave him in the name of science and love. Viktor literally showed up in the middle of the night to save him from jumping. They live together. They work together. They are co-uncling a child together. The whole under city knows them as partners. Viktor offered to modify his fangs to be sharper so he could better defend himself. He fucking agreed. Like this man is SURE that they're eventually gonna get married. He's living in a Wattpad "The mafia's boss son is in love with me and kidnaps me to be his wife" fantasy and he LOVES it.

To him, Viktor is just too reserved to tell people about this and in the under city no one does grand declarations of love. But he's sure the love is there. If anything, he's trying to work up the courage to ask for a monogamous relationship. He's seen sevika with about a dozen different women by now. He's pretty sure open relationships are just a cultural thing and he doesn't know how to bring it up. He wants monogamy for the rest of his life. One of these days he's going to call Viktor his boyfriend in casual conversation and the man will die on the spot.

I mean he's unsure of the relationship, as anyone in a new relationship is, still tentative about boundaries and labels, but that's to be expected.

Viktor is not some shy insecure prude. He knows the attraction is there, but he ain't all that sure about love. Love is a transaction and he isn't sure what Jayce and him can offer each other in a relationship that they don't already do in the dynamic they have. He also feels a bit weird, what with the power dynamic they have going on, knowing that Jayce (at least for the time being) depends heavily on him and his knowledge/attention. Like the man showed up in the under city without a gun, a face mask or a bodyguard. He won't survive alone. He's also mildly suicidal. Would that technically be taking advantage of him?

Meanwhile Jayce is telling Jinx the events of how they met as a bedtime story. Acting it out with the dolls she made of them (minus the hook-up part, ofc) with a romantic vinyl playing in the background. And they're both sighing dreamily.

[dalliancekay]

I never said that Aziraphale wasn't trying to protect them.

But you are saying that's not good enough?

What I said is that Aziraphale and Crowley will never truly be able to see each other because Aziraphale views Crowley being a demon as a problem, something that needs to be fixed.

No he doesn't. He adores Crowley and if you can't see it in the span of 12 episodes I'm not sure anything in the film will help.

He asked because there is still a belief in his mind that there is a good side, and that Heaven is that side. It is hard to break a belief you've bad for millennium.

Aziraphale doesn't believe Heaven is the 'good' side since Before the Beginning, since before Crowley knew he had to be careful with what he said or did.

Crowley and Aziraphale won't work currently because Aziraphale sees Crowley as someone that needs to be undoubtedly good.

Aziraphale KNOWS Crowley is good. He never doubted him. He saw his as a demon on the Eden wall and immediately confessed to him about his sword, something he did not trust God with.

While Crowley is able to see that there is a good side and a bad side, he's also able to see that there is a side where he doesn't have to fight in a war that's not his.

I don't think Crowley gets a choice. And he knows it too. Where would he go? How is going to avoid the War?

and one of Azirphale's biggest fears is not being viewed as Angelic enough.

No. That's your HC and that's how you see him for whatever reason. Sure, he doesn't want to Fall, but neither did Crowley. He can't be blamed for that. Why would he want to? What Aziraphale never wanted to happen is for his superiors to find out just how un-angelic he is and punish him - by removing him from his post on Earth and away from Crowley for example.

For them to work, Aziraphale has to come to the conclusion that there is no good side. Every side has their goods and bads. But none are necessarily 'good.'

What makes you think he doesn't know that??

The angel who gave Heaven every chance to NOT let Job's children be killed and then lied about saving them, the angel that had to look at Flood and be powerless to do anything, the angel who finds loopholes where he can so he can spin things the way he needs them and defend his actions - like finding out digging dead bodies up can be actually good. How can the angel who tried to speak to everyone about NOT starting the Armageddon and the War can think that everything is black and white and Heaven is the good one?

What Aziraphale needs, is to be free from fear that Crowley will be punished, that he will be punished, that Crowley can be destroyed by Hell on a whim, that their little bubble can burst at any point.

He spent his whole time on Earth being scared of all of that. And apparently he spent the time Before Earth anxious that Crowley will say or do something that will warrant some sort of 'trouble' if the adorably oblivious, giddy star-starting angel is not careful with his words and actions.

THAT IS WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP 'DIDN'T WORK'.

Because they were never free to be together. They shouldn't have ever even met on Earth - apart from the times they were supposed to fight each other. But to me, their relationship always worked as well as it could, and it was always beautiful. The fact that they couldn't have all they wanted was NOT Aziraphale's fault. P.S. Crowley's Fall and Forgiveness Cos I didn't address it properly above but I did in comments: First of all, we don't know why Crowley fell, we don't know if he CHOSE to fall PLUS he himself says he did not mean to, as I did mention above. So I don't see how or why Crowley would ever defend his Fall as the 'right' choice to Aziraphale. Does Aziraphale think Crowley didn't deserve to fall and suffer? Most likely. Does he blame Crowley for what happened and where is - ABSOLUTELY NOT. We don't know if Crowley wants Azi's forgiveness or not. Everyone always assumes he doesn't. That he's offended by it even. But Crowley's reply to Azi forgiving him is kind of a roll of eyes on S1 and 'Don't bother' in S2. It is not 'fuck off' or 'I don't want your forgiveness' or anything like that. It's more akin to: 'FINE, I know you love me but this is not how I wanted this. (Neither did Az but there we are, this is all he could do for now) Crowley himself calls himself unforgivable and when Aziraphale offers him his forgiveness, he offers him something God Herself did not - an assurance that whatever Crowley says or does or doesn't do, whatever decisions he makes - Aziraphale will always, always forgive him (will always love him). I think that it is more than any I love you would have achieved.

I'm pissed about the lack of finish for Good Omens, but I will be FURIOUS, if the movie doesn't include Crowley yelling at Aziraphale.

I need Crowley to finally tell him that no, I don't need to be forgiven, I do not want to be forgiven. My fall from 'grace' is not something that I regret. It is not something I need you to forgive me for. It was a decision I made and it was not a wrong one.

Because this is the reason why they just haven't seemed to be able to fully connect, because Aziraphale still believes that Crowley made a mistake.

Why else would Crowley be so fixated on an 'Us?' He doesn't fit into Hell or Heavan, doesn't want to, and he wished Aziraphale could see that it doesn't have to be the divine versus the sin, because picking a side doesn't always work. Why should they fight in their war? Why shouldn't they just fight to protect their home? Their world?

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[arolesbianism]

Just realized I forgot to post these

[pentaghast]

hmmhmhm trying to decide how long roan wouldve known gortash bc i want to know if they knew about karlach

[metalcorebarbie]

x

[faaun]

i feel conflicted abt my relationship...need advice etc . in tags . pls i need input sm

[medicinemane]

At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me

I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to

Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[gregmarriage]

literally the biggest mood of all time, ms williams