#still re-reading haikyuu

[regnigt]

good question, kuroo

[rk-tmblr]

[karlyboyyy]

Just… this whole chapter. Their friendship is so precious 🥹

[bimir]

it's not something strange or unique to say that after the last haikyuu movie, most of us got into it again, but at the same time, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who benefits the most from this re...union.

I went to see the haikyuu movie alone, and at first, it didn't hit me that much. maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder how much I would have enjoyed it with my best friend, but we are grown-ups now and long distance.

after a couple of days, the internet was full of haikyuu content again, just like during lockdown, and because of that, I also got into it again and realized how much of a masterpiece it is.

haikyuu is well known, but in my opinion, it is underestimated and categorized by others as just a silly volleyball-sport anime. it saddens me so much that there are so many people who will never get to embrace this piece of art.

Furudate not only created a coming-of-age story, a story that inspired and still inspires generations to fight for their dreams, to engage in the complex mess of relationships, teamwork, and partnerships. haikyuu teaches you that if you really do have a dream, and if you are really ambitious, if you work hard for it, your time will come too. but it also teaches you that not choosing to be great is not a tragedy; your dreams of what a good life means can be different from the ideals of others: "life is unfair, but damn it, at the same time, it is really fair too."

so why did I go on writing about this? because I can't comprehend how haikyuu manages to be there for me at the best time—or the worst, better said—how it really took its "comfort anime" title seriously for me. I started haikyuu in my last year of high school: extremely stressed, depressed, and anxious, so scared of what the upcoming end would mean for me that I'd tricked myself into living by coming to the conclusion that I'd simply not make it to 18 if I didn't see a future for myself. it seemed only fair and the universe would do its thing, no? I know, kinda depressing and triggering, but it did help that miserable me then, it did help but not in the way I prayed it would. the universe didn't send me "death," it sent me life and hope through haikyuu. feeling so empty, so bland for such a long time, haikyuu managed to make me laugh and cry. it doesn't sound like much, but real ones know what I'm talking about. seeing their connection, their ambition, the troubles and feelings I was so desperate to put into words right in front of me saved me from my misery. I began to wish to live, to wish to be like them, to wish to fight, to wish to connect again with people.

now, after almost 4 years, I'm in my last year of uni. the main reason for my depression back then in high school was because I didn't know what to do with my life, what uni and career to choose. hell, I didn't know I would take this path until last autumn, but here I am, on my way to becoming a teacher. it's hard, really hard, but right now, after the new movie, I finally committed to start and finish the manga even though I knew bits and pieces of what happens. it was the best time to read it now. over these 3-4 years, I pondered why I couldn't start getting into the manga and see for myself what happens, but damn it was the best time to read it now. seeing them go all out on their path, learning that in order to succeed you need to fight and fight and fight, to push through, to overcome your limits, to push yourself, to not take it easy if you really want it, came at the best time as I got into a slump and a burnout from learning too much but also not learning enough. I've got to see all of the characters continuing to be pros while fighting for their way, but also choosing to let go of something they once loved in order to live a normal life.

haikyuu is like a reminder that there is more to life than just your high school/childhood years, that your path could take a 180-degree turn at any point, but at the same time, it makes you appreciate those times and not want to sweep your childlike wonder, your growth, and mistakes under a rug. Furudate was a genius for creating haikyuu, and I really hope and pray that haikyuu will continue to be there, to comfort and save future generations until the end of time.

[evercelle]

Hello, Ever! I sincerely hope I am not bothering you. I have been following your art for a couple of years (roughly since 2021?) and I still find myself in awe whenever you post a new piece (including ones related to fandoms I am not into, like Dangan and HSR!). Your Xiaovens are the best. I have a somewhat selfish question: yes, I have just gotten into Haikyuu in 2024. Do you plan on selling merch of your previous hq works? They are all outstanding, your Iwaois make me go. Thank you in advance!

any year is a good year to get into haikyuu, one of the goats of sports manga!!! haha i was actually re-reading haikyuu recently myself...! my friend and i went to the paris olympics a month ago and attended the men's argentina vs japan volleyball match. shoutout to my fellow oikawa loving homies in the year 2024 including the cosplayers we met

i don't re-order old stuff, but i have a bin with leftovers from past shop openings i've been meaning to clear out... i've been contemplating giving them away for free if people are willing to just cover the shipping, but i haven't had time to take stock. if any hq/daiya/genshin etc folks are interested, i can try to poke thru it...!

[gayaest]

I just want to say your Paravolley AU has helped me a lot with overcoming internalized ableism, made me learn about sitting volleyball, and has also gotten me to read and watch Haikyuu again after years. I've been a volleyball person my whole life but I got a sports injury in highschool and now use a cane (and hopefully a rollator walker in the future).

Kageyama Tobio has always been my favorite character and seeing him in your AU hit me really hard. Though we don't have the same injury, I saw myself in your portrayal of him very much.

Your AU had made me re-evaluate the Haikyuu manga and anime through a disabled lense, and made me fall in love with Furudate's story all over again. Even stronger than it was before. And I adore the parallels you decided to put with your own AU.

I've since been searching up if there's sitting volleyball in my area (with little luck so far but dammit I'm going to keep looking). I'm so disappointed that it's never been brought up to me when I got injured. I'm upset that I was convinced that I'd never have a place in volleyball again. I legitimately started crying tears of joy when I learned sitting volleyball existed.

Thank you so much for your AU. I think it'll have a special place in my heart for a long time.

This is a genuinely sweet and kind-hearted message, and I have to thank you for sending it.

It means a lot that my AU brings comfort to not only myself, but other disabled people as well — the idea that my experiences, thoughts, feelings, research, etc is being put to good use to help and soothe people is more than I could ever wish to achieve or want.

I think something so important in my AU with Kageyama is that he wasn’t born disabled, he got his spinal cord injury at one of the worst points in his life, while simultaneously losing his support system (grandfather). He had no idea how to cope with becoming disabled because the people he surrounded himself with previously (MiddleSchool Volleyball Team) all turned their back on him and his drive to still want to play volleyball and feel lost without it. In turn, he turns that anger and fear and disappointment into internalized ableism, and even some outwards ableism he doesn’t even realize he needs to fix, because it’s just something most able-bodied people get told or believe. He pushes himself past his limits, hoping that he could one day be back to his old self, but that old self no longer exists, and that’s something the Karasuno Sitting Volleyball team teaches him. They teach him acceptance, support, community, etc when he didn’t even know it existed before.

I’m glad my AU can resonate with so many people, and I wish I could blab even more about it because it’s always in my head constantly, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask about it.

Furudate’s story is truly amazing, and to me, it doesn’t lose it’s charm and meaning for me as a disabled person, in fact, in makes me want to form even bigger bonds with community and other disabled people.

Thank you again for the ask, anon! It’s very sweet.

[illugremlins]

I have a lot of fun making headcanons to add a grey aspect to the morality of objectively good (in he sense of morals) characters.

For example, Atsushi Nakajima. He values the lives of everyone and thinks that everyone deserves a chance to live. Unless he is put into a situation where he has no other option, he considers taking a life to be, objectively, one of the worst things someone can do. To the point where he firmly locks out the memory of him killing Shibusawa even though it was an act of self defense to keep him alive.

This is an ethical train of thought, and specific and special to Atushi since he is one of the very few characters of BSD who believes it.

A conclusion can me made:

Atsushi is good. He cares about others lives. He thinks everyone should have a chance to live.

But, if we look into it more, the belief isn't as 'good-intentioned' as it can be initially read. Atushi hates himself. He firmly believes the world would be better off without him, and that everyone else is more worthy of living than he is. However, despite this, Atsushi isn't suicidal. Being suicidal would, in my opinion, be entirely out of character for him. Yes, he does not really value himself or his life because of his upbringing, but Atsushi still desperately wants to live. He wants to survive.

In that case, how is it fair of him to want to live when his life is worth nothing compared to others? What right does he have to live if people who matter more than him, who are better than him, who are more valuable and useful, don't? (And again, to remind you, in Atsushi's eyes, everyone is more useful than he is.)

So, what if I re-frame the conclusion:

Atsushi is selfish. He cares about others lives because he cares about his own. He thinks everyone should have a chance to live because he wants one, but the only way he can swallow the guilt of wanting to be alive is by doing everything in his power to make sure that the people around him, who are all better than him, are alive too. If they are dead, why isn't he, who does not matter and should not matter?

Re-thinking characters in this light makes for a much more interesting read of the story and a lot of good material for fanfiction. (And it doesn't have to just be characters in morally grey stories, like BSD. This sort of thinking/adding of HCs can be applied to much more light-hearted mangas/works like Haikyuu, where the worst the character can be is a bit of a bully or jerk.)

[otomiyaa]

Re: Catching Up

Finally reading the reblogs and mentions of my tag game (my main reason for starting that was to read about what y'all are up to while I neglected tha dashboard lolol) and dumping some replies here to some peeps I follow^^

General note to all: so happy to see the multiple excited reactions to Inside Out 2 hehehe, I loved it so much T0T

@crazy-as-a-jaybird THE SIMS 4 LOVESTRUCK!!!!! I didn't know that was coming! I haven't played the sims in a long time, but gee that's exciting news, thnx! ..... I wonder if there will be some nice loveydovey tickle animations in there....

@italeean "You guys probably already know what I'll say" (about Jujutsu Kaisen 0 movie), actually I don't know 👀 it's been a while since I saw that movie when it was released in the cinema here, but you made me curious to your reaction. What did you think? :3

@giggly-squiggily omg Blue Lock & Haikyuu hypehype and did you also love to see these lazy gamer guys Kenma and Nagi dominate the big screens as heroes to their respective movies, so shortly after each other, what a time to be alive 🤩

@fantasizes-tickles-daily My Adventures with Superman ng;dngifdgjdhljfni;oji I still need to start the new season but omfg I'm so glad finally someone else is into this hehehe, I love that! I'm also not a big DC fan, I didn't even see most movies, but I LOVE THIS ONE. Clark is the cutest isn't he?

@eliankrios YOU PLAY THE SIMS 4????? 👀 also thank you for those banger song recs. I only knew 'save my life' from xandria but not valentine or others :3

@wertzunge Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, I saw that one on the plane a while ago, I enjoyed that too!!! I wonder if they will do more :3 I never played the game though....

@tiklart SHARK MOVIE SUFFERERS WE ARE HAHA, also good luck on your exams!🫶 sending good luck vibes~

@gladdygirl18 ❤️❤️❤️ sending good love life prayers, hope all will go well! and yay for fellow minecraft enjoyer :D

@sunstone-smiles I LOVE ESPRESSO odjs;dgjhih ih but I didn't like it at first either :') it had to grow on me too.

@kusuguricafe seeing you talk about your genshin abyss teams makes me go 💀💀💀 it's been so long since I played genshin, especially abyss. Are you managing the 3 stars each chamber f12 cuz I've only succeeded like once at it or smth. oh and I hope you'll have fun writing again soon! Don't push yourself too much for tickletober, as long as it stays fun*w*

@blobbirobbi wow I knew all 3 of those artists but not those songs, thnx for the recs :D especially the Måneskin hohoho

@sleepysheepytea feels indeed like ages since I saw your activity on my dash, wishing you the best of luck with work and stuff^^

@hypahticklish that was literally my reaction too to the movie The Fall Guy, I loved that so much and you described it so well 😍 I thought it would be a "Haha funny" movie but it really moved me and I also didn't expect the first part to be so emotional. p.s. thnx for the blank copy paste, sorry for forgetting 🥲🥲

@a-fluffer-nutter wow good luck on the move to the UK and congrats on 8 years tumblr, I still remember you being one of the first tk blogs i encountered 😌

@lovelymessybubbly wooow it feels like AGES, sorry to hear about the low mental energy but hope you're doing well ^^!

[karasuno-writings]

SOULMATES - SUGAWARA KOUSHI

So I'm coming back with one of my favorite tropes and one of my favorite boys! Hopefully it does not read as rusty as I feel. Also, let us ignore any inconsistencies on the actual Haikyuu plot, so let's imagine it's a parallel timeline, oops.

Whenever you sleep you get flashes of your soulmate’s day, when you wake up only a vague memory remains. Once the day you meet them comes, you see yourself in the dream, re-living the day before, remembering it vividly. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Stretching your feet, you roll over with your eyes closed, protecting you eyes from the stray rays of sunlight filtering through the curtains. A consciousness slowly seeps in, a flash of silver, adrenaline pumping through your veins, cheering voices, friendly handshakes, and a refreshing smile wake you up. You sit down to take it all in, trying to remember any faces, places, any clues at all; but the images went as quickly as they came and all you were left with was a fulfilled feeling blossoming in your chest. You are glad your soulmate had a good day yesterday.

………………………………………………………………………

Lost in thought, you walk with fast-paced steps towards your class in the Nekoma highschool. This past week most of your dreams have been frustrating; and while you do not remember exactly the events that unfold on them, they always leave this lingering ache. 

Huffing,  you sit down on your desk, unloading the contents of your bag absentmindedly; searching for pain meds to calm the constraint buzz rattling your head. Your notebook now open on a summary from yesterday, that you do not even remember writing, as you scribble nonsense on the corner of the page.¿How does everyone else go about their day with so many complex feelings that are not even their own? 

While you had not met your soulmate yet, you had become familiar with him on a certain way. After years of getting snippets of his life you had managed to gather some information to go by: He is most definitely smart and plays some kind of sport, his smile is like none other, he seems to be well liked; and that, most days as soon as you get up, he manages to bring you an immense feeling of comfort. 

“Y/N!” 

Your eyes widen, as you were rattled out of your thoughts abruptly. “Y/N” the teacher repeated. “Can you or can you not give us the answer?” 

Fuck. You sigh, blushing, and shook your head “May you please repeat the question?” 

Tapping her finger against her desk the teacher huffed. “Pay attention, next time you are out of my class”

………………………………………………

It was the second day of practice for the Volleyball Interhigh Nationals and Suga had only played once, and he felt as though he fell short on the time he should have been proving himself. Granted, the main focus was on their starting lineup, and Kageyama seemed to be on his prime, however, he had hoped to at least feel more helpful than…this. 

After splashing his face with water, he rubbed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, a second was all he needed. He had spent most of the night studying the teams on Tokyo, in order to strategize and pick his pace up; thus, his eyes feet heavier than usual. A deep breath…and back to the game, after all, while he was not on the court his roomates still counted on him. 

Jogging towards the bench he waved his arms and smiled; “Let’s do this! We have a long day ahead of us”

………………………………………………

“Come on Y/N! Come with us! I’m sure it will help you loosen up!” Lev exclaimed, running up to you with a slight spring in his step. You rolled your eyes with a slight smile, the new guy had managed to win your friendship over. “You will love it! Maybe I’ll even get to play!”

“Fine, lets go” You shook your head as the tall boy sprung up ahead of you, already on his way to the central court. 

Once you arrived and opened up the door of the gym you noticed just how important this event was, the place was bustling with sound and everyone seemed to be busy with one thing or another, still practicing before the matches. Lev waved to you once and ran towards his teammates. Smiling, you greeted them from afar and left towards the benches in order to watch them play.

As you walked towards the benches a flash of silver, black and orange, caught your eye; and before you knew it you had been yanked from your feet, away from a speeding stray volleyball. 

“Careful Hinata! Watch your aim!” The boy next to you exclaimed. You stared at him, wide eyed, still processing what had just happened. “Are you okay?” He turned towards you, flashing you a soft smile that covered the heavy eyes that hid behind it. 

“Yes…thank you so much” You smiled, and before you could ask his name he ran back towards his team, clearly busy at the moment, yout gaze following his every move as your face flushed slightly. 

“It’s nothing!” He said swiftly and you noticed the name on the back of his jersey…Sugawara. 

…………………………………………………………

Once in the benches you had learned that the silver-haired boy was from the Karasuno Team of the Miyagi Prefecture; and while you were cheering on your friends that played on the court right in front of where you sat, your eyes more often than not strayed towards the loud team of your new acquaintance. 

Sugawara was called into the court, Kageyama was getting frustrated towards Hinata and the tall blocker from the opponent team, getting him fired up and the rest of the team stressed. Smiling, he balled up his fists, it was his moment to pick up the pace and help build up encouragement. With a single, firm pat, to Kgeyama’s back, he jogged towards the court. 

“We cannot let one player bring us all down can we!?” He high fived an ecstatic NIshinoya and shook Hinata by the shoulders. Determined, the new set beggan and his focus went entirely on exploiting his teammates best assets. 

You squint your eyes, head crooked to the side, as you watch them play, a totally different pace than the one they carried with the black-haired setter, albeit a more stable one. 

After Karasuno scored two points, the opponent team started to get the gist to how Suga played, and their streak was cut short when they noticed a second too soon, that Asahi was about to spike to the left. Suga bit his bottom lip and huffed right before standing upright “Nevermind!” He shouted towards Asahi, who nodded determinedly, knowing that the play was risky, as they had barely come up with it a week ago. Another serve, and back to the game, still, his set was cut short again, and, seeing that Kageyama had cooled off and Hinata was once more fired up, decided to call Suga out of the court. 

With a sharp breath he nodded, and gave everyone a thumbs up before sitting down on the bench. And while everyone resumed the game, you noticed his lips pursing as he looked quickly to the side, before puffing his chest and clenching his fists, cheering on his team as if nothing had happened. 

You frowned and with a sight you looked towards the Nekoma team, and as you noticed they were on time-out you stood up, wanting to get something to drink. And as you cracked the can of soda open, you paced back and forth on the hallway, wondering why you were so affected by that boy's behavior. 

“Why can’t I seem to get it right…we have practiced so much…unbelievable” Right as you were about to leave you heard someone right around the corner, muttering to themselves. You stopped on your tracks, watching Sugawara stomping to the corner of the hallway, scrunching up a bottle of water and slamming it towards the trashcan that stood there. 

Suga shut up as soon as he noticed you standing there, eyes opening wide before standing upright and smiling weakly. “Sorry you had to see that” 

You raised an eyebrow up, looling your head to the side; “You know you don’t always have to smile right? It’s fine to be frustrated… however, that poor bottle of water was probably not gulty of anything” You laughed, shooting him an apologetic smile. 

He laughed slightly, a cute dimple appearing on his cheek “Do not get me started on the crimes that water had committed before I stopped it”. You giggled a bit and walked closer to where he stood. 

“You seem bothered; let me help! After all, I owe you one after you saved me from getting decapitated by that little redhead” You smiled softly at him “Im Y/N, nice to meet you” 

“Hmmm I don’t know if you can help me out…” He sighed, resting his back against the wall before sliding down and sitting on the floor. “It’s just that I cannot seem to get anything right these days…and it is my chance to prove my worth” 

“Well, I can see your team believes in you” You exclaimed, sitting next to him. “They really seem to have raised spirits after your contribution, you know?…but it is just what I saw right now. Don’t be so hard on yourself, everyone has those days. And while you are allowed to feel bad about it, don’t just give up!” 

He closed his eyes and nodded, relaxing his shoulders before looking back at you; “Im usually the one with the pick-me-up speeches, nice to receive one for a change” His smile was now genuine, soft; “I’m Sugawara, by the way” He stared at you for a few seconds, his gaze lingering on you. Now that his mind was not bustling, he wondered how he didn’t notice before how beautiful you truly were. Shaking his head he clapped his hands together, you were right and he was not about to give up, he still had a week to practice, and wether or not he was in the court, the thought of having the chance to practice, play and watch his team was enough to raise his spirits up. 

“See you around then?” He stood up quicky and offered his hand to lift you up, which you gladly accepted. 

“See you around!” You smiled, and as soon as he got his answer he ran back towards the court. 

That night both of you went to bed with a warm feeling on your chest, wonder why that was.

………………………………………..

Sweating, you sat upright, eyes open wide as you looked around your dimly-lit room. You pinched yourself in order to make sure that you were not dreaming anymore, flinching.

Your mouth opened ajar before smiling wide as you remembered every detail of your dream, how he helped you, your introduction, and how you helped him in return. His stunning smile, the cute dimple on his cheek, everything matched perfectly, and you could not wait to see him again on the court. 

…………………………………………………………

“You are not listening to me are you?” Lev exclaimed, annoyed, as the two of you walked inside the gym towards the courts, looking around frantically in the hopes of seeing Suga there. 

“Didn’t you hear me out Lev!? I met my soulmate here, I need to talk to him!” You hit your friend’s arm as he frowned, crossing his arms.

“Yeah! But now you are not telling me anything about him! Am I just supposed to be left with the doubt?” He whined 

“I’ll tell you when I see him!” Shushing him you leaned over to see the room better, and he rolled his eyes, defeated. 

The door of the room opened behind you, and before you could turn to look at whoever had some in you heard a familiar, soothing voice

“Y/N?” Suga smiled, skipping towards you with a smug smile, leaving his teammates wondering where he had learned your name. Right before he could reach you, you held him by the shoulders, squinting your eyes at him and shaking your head in disapproval, but with a slight chuckle that seemed to give away your true feelings. 

“So it is you that has been giving me headaches these past days! At least now I know why you have been feeling like that!” You exclaimed

Sugawara laughed, flushing. “Yeah…I’m sorry about that” 

Shooting him a smile you let go of his arms “Don’t be sorry…I’m just glad to finally meet you” 

“How about we go for a coffee when you’re free? That way you can help me out” He winked playfully at you, handing you a piece of paper before walking towards his team, leaving you and a wide-eyed Lev behind. 

“So you were not lying!?” Lev took the little paper from your hands, looking in awe at the phone number written in neat handwriting. 

“Why would I! Now, give that back before you lose it!” You snatch it from his hands, eyes still lingering on Sugawara who, noticing your stare, flushed and waved at you once more. 

[winryrockbellwannabe]

✨2/30 days of routine✨

[ngl, I'm already happy with how this is working out for me. since I woke up earlier and exercised i fell asleep so more easily, at 10:30 pm. And so today it was easier to wake up early (- tho i ignored my 6:30 alarm lol. but i somehow still woke up at a decent hour!)😌]

7:30 🛌 get up 7:35 ☕ breakfast + ep from haikyuu 8:00 🍽️ dry dishes from yesterday and tiny clean up around kitchen 8:10 🏋️‍♀️ since I'm a bit tired from yesterday (and my goal is not to workout everyday, just to not be seated all day), all i did today was a 15 min stretch routine for flexibility 8:30 post and brush my teeth lol And afterwards, Im going to study for a bit

Today's to do:

⬜ Study eletronics [3 exercises from worksheet] (bc yesterday i visit my grandparents, so I didn't do this)

✅ Finish cleaning up my bedroom (both here and the college one)

✅ read around 50 pages (read over 70 so far😁)

and nothing else, bc it's still my second week of classes, I don't have that much to do

📵 yesterday's screen time: 2h23 (the day before it was 5h37, so I'm really happy about this, but it may just be a fluke lol)

📺 (re)watching: Haikyuu..... the brain rot is back stronger than ever......

📖 reading: Dragon Republic, by RF Kuang (yesterday i read 30 pages before going to sleep bc Im trying a no phone night routine)

[glxssynarvi]

2am Comfort

pairing : kuroo x gn!reader

fandom : haikyuu!!

content : fluff, comfort, brief mention of a nightmare (?), 'you/yourself as only pronouns used, intentional lowercase...

notes : i wrote a shorter version of this a few months ago but i deleted it and decided to re‐purpose the idea, so here this is. kuroo just looks so boyfriend. so warm.

wc : 1.2k // oneshot

nav // m.list

you jolt awake in moments. a cold sweat is slick against your skin, but simultaneously the covers over you feel too hot. it's far too hot. 

bleary‐eyed and heart still beating a quick rhythm against your ribcage, you toss the covers to the side and stumble out of bed. 

the room is dark, the only light in the room is coming from the red LED lights from your alarm clock, reading <1:24AM>. 

you nearly trip over some clutter you have on your bedroom floor while heading to the hallway. you walk down the hall, pushing open the door to the bathroom and flicking the light switch on. 

you stare at your delirious and exhausted reflection for no more than a few moments. you turn on the faucet in the sink, cupping your hands together under it. you splash your face with the chilly water a few times, running your wrists under the flowing water as well. 

after standing for a few moments in the silence of the hall bathroom, you contemplate what to do next. just go back to bed? get dressed for the day like nothing happened? 

...call someone? 

you decide on the last option, but settle for texting someone rather than calling. as for who to call... you easily choose Kuroo. currently awake or not, you knew he wouldn't be mad at you for texting this early.

you turn off the faucet, dry your face, flip the light switch, and head back down the hall to your room. 

once inside, you close the door behind you and search beside your bed for your phone. you find it wedged between your bed and the bedside table after a minute. 

hey 

i know it's early

but can i come over? 

a few moments pass. you spend them sorting through the notifications you've gotten throughout the night. 

good morning to you too.

and yes, you can come over. is everything okay? 

you puff a sigh of relief at his response. 

not really

i had a nightmare 

he responds seconds later. 

oh. that's not good.

do you want me to meet you halfway? 

or i could pick you up? 

you smile slightly at his concern. he's always been a sweetheart when it mattered. 

nah, it's cool

i need to grab a few things and i'll be there soon

maybe 20 minutes? 

you glance at the clock again. it reads <1:30AM>. 

okay, see you soon. be safe. 

you leave him on read in favour of packing a bag. you toss a change of clothes and some toiletries into it, deciding that you don't have enough energy to change right now. you also put some things you might want later today, like your wallet, your school work binder, and your school textbook. 

you wonder your best route of escape. the front or back door is the easiest, but... you might wake up someone in your household. you give barely thought to it before you decide on using your bedroom window. your bedroom is on the first floor anyway. 

you quietly sneak down the hall to fetch your tennis shoes, slipping them on once you're back in your room again. you hoist your back onto your shoulder and unlock the window to open it. 

you try to slip out the window as quietly as possible, to not potentially wake up any of your family (if any of them are even home). your shirt catches on the windowsill and you struggle to hold yourself still for a moment. 

as it seems, your effort is in vain, as you promptly tumble out of the first story window and into the bushes right under it. the bush mostly breaks your fall, but your phone and house keys fell out of your pockets. and you can feel the sharp leaves digging into your skin through your shirt. 

you quietly curse under your breath as you reach up to close the window behind you. then you climb out of the bush with a scowl. 

you spend a few moments shuffling around in the dark, hands brushing over the top of the mulch of the flowerbeds. you find the loop of your key ring first, then your phone shortly after. with your belongings back in your possession, you finally stand up and brush off your disheveled clothes. 

thank god it's saturday. you think with a grumpy frown. 

brushing off your phone before slipping it into your pocket, you also take a moment to look around the cramped neighbourhood you live in. you've been here for a few years now, but you still can't find it in yourself to call this place home. 

you shake your head in an attempt to clear your thoughts. i need to get to Kuroo's place. it's too dark and dangerous for me to be out right now. you mentally remind yourself. 

your pace is something between speed‐walking and jogging as you make your way down the sidewalk. you spend just over fifteen minutes weaving between houses and through alleyways. by the time you reach your destination, your thoughts are mostly muddled and fogged like a static tv. 

you think to knock but, considering it's nearly two in the morning, you decide not to. you opt to pull out your phone instead. 

you send a quick text to Kuroo to tell him you're outside, and the front door quietly squeaks open to reveal him in the flesh. 

"hey." he offers a grin and opens the door wider so you can step inside. 

you stay in place to ponder an idea that just came to you, then you step forward and wrap your arms around his ribs. it doesn't take longer than a second before his arms are wrapping around you too. 

he takes a few slow steps backwards, your feet following with his. when you both are far enough inside he nudges the door shut with his foot. 

still in a hug, Kuroo squeezes you lightly and leans down so you can still hear his soft words, "c'mon, let's head to my room. we can cuddle if you want." 

"okay," you breathe softly, hesitantly letting go of him. he instead slips his hand into yours and leads you through the dim rooms of his home. 

you climb the stairs together, and you can already tell which room is his. the door at the end of the hall has a lamp turned on inside, the light pouring from the half‐open door and into the hallway. 

you've been in Kuroo's room enough times to be familiar with his decor and slight clutter. you aren't surprised to see notebooks flipped open, tabbed textbooks, and loose leafs of lined paper scattered across his desk. 

you make quick work of taking off your shoes and removing your jacket. you drop your bag by the door with little care of what happens to its contents, kicking your shoes into a messy pile next to it and throwing your jacket over it. 

you easily climb into Kuroo's bed like it was always yours. once you've gotten comfortable, you look up to see Kuroo leaning against the doorframe watching you with a corny grin. you make grabby hands at him and his grin widens. 

Kuroo doesn't bother moving anything upon his desk, instead he turns off the lights and slink into bed with you. he easily wraps his arms around you and curls closer around you. 

"thank you." 

Kuroo smiles softly at your mumbled words, his thumbs gingerly rubbing circles on your back. he kisses your forehead as you whine in response. 

"i'm always here." 

half‐asleep, you utter, "love you." 

Kuroo kisses your forehead again and says, "i love you, too."

[miyamorana]

May Fic Recs

Here are the fics that I’ve really liked this past month. I’m still mostly re-reading things so it’s a short list again this month.

All of these are complete. Enjoy!

Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives TV (1), Haikyuu!! (2)

Find April's Recs here or browse my fanfic recs tag.

Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives Title: The Great Promised Reminiscing  Author: RB (BlueflowersandWings) Pairing: Edwin Payne/The Cat King Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 2,264 Summary: "Do you have a name?" The Cat King laughs. "A name?" "Yes. A proper, legal name. Do you have one?" It gets him a tilt of the head, a wicked gleam entering those eyes. "Does this mean you're taking an interest in me?" Edwin allows himself, very carefully, to glance down and up and hold the Cat King's eye, unbowed. "It means that I'm rather tired of calling you the Cat King, and if you are not forthcoming about something crisper, I may have to take the extreme step of giving you one myself." — Or: Edwin and the Cat King, after everything.

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Title: it changed the meaning Author: Slumber Pairing: Miya Atsumu/Hinata Shouyou Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 6,042 Summary:

“Where’s the rest of your stuff?” Atsumu asks. Hinata blinks as their hotel room door softly clicks shut behind him. He turns around, showing Atsumu the backpack slung over his shoulders. It’s small, one of those every day type bags guys use when they’re going out for the day. “We’re only here for one night?” Hinata says, the pitch in his statement going up into a question toward the end.

In which MSBY teammates Atsumu and Hinata get to know each other as road trip roommates.

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Title: this is not farewell Author: celestialshellfish Pairing: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 500 Summary: Shouyou doesn’t want Tooru to wake up. Shouyou wants to stay here forever, in the cozy island oasis of his bed, with the lines of their bodies pressed together.

[seineko]

guess who got back into their haikyuu!! obsession after watching the dumpster battle? (was i ever actually not obsessed with it though?)

either way, i missed my boys and girls so much 🥺😭

ahh, i remembered how soft i was for kuroo and kenma's friendship.

i still stand by saying that i want to adopt kageyama and yachi! please let me just pat their heads.

akaashi it's not nice of you to be that pretty, this one can only handle so much! and bokuto-san, please never change, ilysm! lemme cuddle you like a teddy bear.

and and, i know inuoka is a cat but he's such a golden retriever! his name checks out.

fukunaga has the driest humor and i absolutely love it, i think him and cyno could he good friends.

yaku-san and noya-san's admiration for eachother is so cute lmao 😭

i think i might just re-watch/re-read the entire series again.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Hey <3

From the ask game 6, 15, 26 👀👀

ANIME ASK BECAUSE WHY NOT

6 - Popular Anime you didn't like

Naruto, when I was a kid. Everyone watched it including my siblings but I fucking hated it. I loved Ninjas though, but I didn't like these ones. I really really dislike the whole universe and the characters but since my siblings put the anime on TV every week I still know most of the story lmaooo

I like it better now, I've been thinking about watching it since the beginning 🤔

Besides that, there's Fire Force, Blue Exorcist and Noragami that I started and stopped before Episode 3 because I just didn't like it. And there's Re:Zero that I watched entirely but didn't really enjoy, like it was okay-ish but I wouldn't recommend it or watch it again. Actually now that I think about it I don't remember why I went so far, it's not that interesting...

15 - Anime you never get sick of watching

Haikyuu (watched it 3 times entirely, but sometimes I just watch a few episodes or a whole season)

Jujutsu Kaisen (watched the whole thing 4 times already just this year and I will re-read it soon)

Avatar the last airbender (if that counts)

Land of the lustrous/Houseki no Kuni (I rewatch it like once a year, it's short, and it makes me cry)

Just to be clear, ATLA, JJK and Haikyuu are my long-term hyperfixations, HnK is NOT. It's just so fucking good, and I'm sad that we'll never get a second season, so I like to go through it again 😔

26 - Manga you read all the way through

Houseki no Kuni, and I don't think I'm okay about getting over this one (it's GOOD)

Kinda MHA although I haven't read the last 4 chapters, but I've been spoiled so I know exactly how it ends (and I don't like it)

Assassination Classroom, I saw the whole anime years ago but I decided to read the manga recently and I finished it in August I think ?

Solo Leveling, a manwha not a manga but still, been in the adventure since the early chapters and read it every week or so until the end, then the epilogue chapters, I was kinda of emotional about it

Here U Are, a shonen ai manwha, on of the first and the best Boy's Love I read. I discovered recently that it was published here in France and I was in awe in front of the stand.

There must be more but I don't remember every manga I read when I was 14. There's a few shojo (Orange, for example) and some BL. There's Fairy Tail too but then I gave up on 100y quest lol.

[pearlsephoni]

Coffee for Two

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Iwaoi (Iwaizumi/Oikawa); mentioned Sakuatsu (Sakusa/Atsumu)

Characters: Tooru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi, Atsumu Miya

Word Count: 5.1k

Summary: Tooru Oikawa's work as a barista is simply a means to an end until he joins the V.League. The last thing he needs is a secret admirer leaving presents around the café and making him look forward to this cursed job.  

A/N: Written for @/Katefacee on AO3 as part of the HQ Valentine’s Day Exchange over on Twitter! This was originally published on AO3 on February 14th.

“Kawa-kuuuuun— Woah, what’s wrong with you?”

Tooru lifted his head from the counter and blinked at his coworker. “Look who decided to come in.”

“Huh?” Atsumu breezed into the backroom of the cafe, the small space letting the metallic slide of his coat on a hook and the rustle of him tying his apron reach Tooru at the cash register. “I told ya I’d be late today. Got it approved and everything.”

“It seems awfully convenient that you couldn’t make it to your only opening shift this month.”

“Awww, don’t be bitter, Tooru-chan.” Atsumu joined him at the register with a pat on his shoulder. It was deeply frustrating, how good he still looked despite coming straight-in from the cold. The wind had artfully tousled his bleached hair and left his cheeks looking nice and rosy. It only made Tooru more self-conscious of his own hair, left unstyled and frizzy in his rush to get to the cafe on time.

“You left me to open alone. Let me be bitter.”

“Fine, fine.” In his own version of an apology, Atsumu began restocking the fridges and re-brewing coffee for the canisters, letting Tooru continue to lay on the cashier counter. “How was opening?”

“A group of moms going on a biking trip came in. They all wanted frappes and breakfast sandwiches.”

“Jesus.” Tooru smiled into the granite at the sound of the blenders getting rinsed out as well. “Well, here comes yer favorite. If that’ll help.”

It was a taunt. Tooru knew it was a taunt. But that didn’t stop from him shooting upright and dragging his fingers through his messy waves just as the door opened with a jingle. “Good morning, Iwa-chan!”

He looked dead on his feet, poor thing. Tooru would’ve felt bad about taking comfort in that, if Iwaizumi hadn’t still looked devastatingly gorgeous. Even with dark circles under his heavy-lidded eyes, he took Tooru’s breath away, all tan skin and strong muscles and messy hair that he wanted to run his fingers through and get even messier. His frown at Tooru’s nickname made him even hotter, all serious and brooding. “I told you not to call me that.”

“But it’s cute! Just like you!”

Those hazel eyes widened a bit at that, and his ears turned a sweet pink. “Can I at least have some caffeine before you start annoying me?”

“So mean, Iwa-chan,” Tooru said with a pout, already finishing up with putting in his order. “Want anything to eat? We got more egg white sandwiches in yesterday.”

Iwaizumi blinked. “Maybe later.”

“Oooh, are you sticking around today? Midterms already?” He only got a groan and an adjusted backpack in response. “Can I help with anything?”

“Want to write my kinesiology lab report?”

“I meant with coffee.”

Iwaizumi snorted, the corner of his lips ticking up just enough to make Tooru feel proud, before wordlessly handing over some cash. “You can keep the change,” he said, “for a tip.”

If he kept this up, Tooru was going to reach across the counter and pull him into a kiss.

Atsumu stayed suspiciously quiet the whole time, only piping up with a chipper, “Here ya go!” as he handed Iwaizumi his drink: a black coffee with a single pump of vanilla. He finally broke his silence once Iwaizumi got settled into his regular spot at the booth in the far corner. “I still don’t know why he, as a senior, is getting a coffee everyday when it’s such a simple drink.”

“Maybe he just wants to see me!” He grinned at Atsumu, waiting for him to roll his eyes and give him snark for his “misplaced confidence.”

But instead, the blonde just hummed noncommittally, still watching Iwaizumi as he blearily unpacked his laptop and notebooks. “...Tsumu-chan?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, maybe.”

Cool, so he definitely wasn’t listening. Tooru would forgive him, if only because he was now restocking the breakfast sandwiches. If Tooru had to handle a bagel within the next hour, he would be making sure the knife was sinking into anything but a bagel.

Shifts with Atsumu usually passed like this: bickering punctuated with silent acts of help. Tooru opened by himself, and Atsumu cleaned up the carnage when he clocked in. Atsumu prepared the sandwiches, and Tooru refreshed the food displays and wiped down the unoccupied tables.

And all the while, Iwaizumi worked in his corner, frowning at his laptop and shuffling through the growing piles of notes that migrated from his backpack. Sometimes he had his headphones on, especially when it was a busier day. Other times, like when there weren’t many other customers lingering, he was happy with nodding his head to the cafe music. Tooru wasn’t sure if it was just a happy coincidence that Iwaizumi usually nodded along with his playlists, but he’d take any wins he could.

“D’you need me to move?”

Tooru looked up from a stubborn stain on a table to see Iwaizumi looking at him. “Hm? Oh, no, that’s fine! Tsumu-chan can wipe down your table after you leave.”

Iwaizumi’s brow creased, but he just nodded and watched him silently for a moment, before muttering, “Do you ‘-chan’ for everyone, or just people you like annoying?”

Another glance up showed Tooru a tiny curve to Iwaizumi’s lips, which brought a gleeful smile to his own. “Nah, just people I like annoying. That means I actually like you!”

Did Iwaizumi always blush and frown like that whenever someone flirted with him? How did he get through the day like that? Surely a ton of people flirted with him, right? “Lucky me,” Iwaizumi mumbled, turning stolidly back to his laptop…only to look back up at Tooru. “Wait, how many hours have you been working today?”

“Awww, Iwa-chan, you’re worried about me?” Tooru snickered at the deepening frown he’d earned himself. “Don’t worry, I’ll be done in an hour.”

For some reason, instead of the relief he was expecting, Iwaizumi looked a little nervous. “Oh. Alright.” He slid his headphones on before Tooru could ask any questions. Weird.

Weirder still was the thoughtful expression on Atsumu’s face when Tooru returned behind the counter. “Tsumu-chan? Whatcha looking at?”

When Atsumu met his eyes, Tooru was startled to recognize a strange mix of glee, confusion, apprehension, and suspicious, all melting together in his warm eyes. “I’ll tell ya, but you have to promise you won’t freak out.”

“That is the best way to guarantee that I will freak out.”

“Then I’m not tellin’ ya.”

“Wha— why? Tell me!”

“No!”

“Bye.”

“Tsu— wait, Iwa—!” Too late. In the time that Tooru had finished cleaning up and gotten back behind the counter, Iwaizumi had packed up his things, thrown away his trash, and slipped out of the cafe. “You made me miss saying goodbye!” he whined at Atsumu. “Now you have to tell me!”

“Oh please, like ya won’t get another chance tomorrow,” Atsumu scoffed. He rolled his eyes, but he also finally let Tooru get his hands on the mysterious item.

It was…an envelope. An envelope with his name neatly written across it, correct characters and all. “...What?”

“Yep.” Atsumu popped the “p” with flair.

“Where did you find this?”

“By the granola bar basket. Open it, I wanna see what’s inside!”

Tooru glowered at Atsumu as his fingers moved to obey him, carefully tearing open the top of the envelope. Inside were some carefully pressed autumn leaves and a short note, written in the same neat writing on a small, blue piece of notebook paper.

For the best barista in town. I saw you collecting some leaves the other day. I don’t know what you need them for, but here are more for your collection.

“Wait.” Tooru flipped the paper over and saw only empty lines. “Wait. There’s no name!”

“Holy shit,” Atsumu breathed, his confusion giving way to delight, “you’ve got yerself a secret admirer! And he gave ya…leaves?”

“My secret admirer knows me better than my coworker,” Tooru sniffed as though his cheeks weren’t growing warm. “I’ll have you know I’ve been collecting some to decorate my apartment!”

“Okay…why does he know that?”

“He doesn’t, he says so in the note— hold on! How do you know they’re a ‘he’? They could be a girl! Guys don’t usually notice stuff like that.”

“Sure, usually. But for a crush? Absolutely. Besides…” Atsumu turned away to finish refilling the fridge. “Girls tend to be less shy about sentimental stuff like this. If they make you a present, they’ll give it to ya personally. Guys, though…they get embarrassed by any advances that aren’t just…askin’ ya out.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Don’t throw stones from a glass house, Tooru-kun~” Atsumu shot Tooru a blithe smile. “Now put that stuff away and get back to work.”

“So unromantic,” Tooru scoffed, “no wonder your boyfriend’s so scary.”

“I heard that!”

☙❧

Tooru knew, objectively, that he had it good. He was the shining star of the collegiate leagues, poised to receive multiple Division 1 offers once he graduated. As the starting setter of the university team, he could work towards any degree he wanted while resting assured that he would earn the career of his dreams. Every time Iwaizumi spent an entire day frowning at his laptop and nodding off over his notes, Tooru felt a burst of gratitude for his own circumstances.

Even the cafe wasn’t so bad. Sure, most days he had to bite his tongue so hard, he nearly tasted blood. But at least he didn’t hate his coworkers, and he had a finish line in sight: he would graduate in March, sign on to one of the teams that sent him offers, and leave behind this university and this cafe, never to be seen again. And until then, he had occasional presents from his secret admirer to look forward to—just the week before, he’d gotten pressed marigolds to add to his autumn decor, along with a sports energy drink powder packet to help him “stay upright when you’re overworking yourself.” But all the little perks and presents in the world couldn’t ease the horror of—

“Oh my god, Christmas is next week.”

Atsumu shot him a bemused look. “Yeah? I just told ya all about my plans with Omi. Weren’t ya listening?”

“It’s next week?” Tooru repeated, ignoring the question.

“Yer such a jerk! I was so excited, and you just ignored me?”

“Tsumu-chan.” Tooru pushed himself off the counter to take Atsumu by the shoulders. “I love you—”

“No, ya don’t!”

“—but if I have to listen to someone’s romantic plans with their romantic partners, I will be walking into the sea.”

An abashed wrinkle came to the corner of Atsumu’s eye, though that didn’t make him stop pouting. “We’re not close to the ocean.”

“How is that what you—”

“Morning.”

Tooru whirled towards the entrance (definitely not with a squeak, thank you very much), and felt the clouds around his head disperse at the sight of Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan! Hello!” He had to fight to not skip to the register, ignoring Atsumu’s quiet scoff. “Is it still morning?”

With a small frown that made him look unbearably cute, Iwaizumi pulled out his phone and squinted at the time. “It’s not noon yet.”

“...You’re kidding.”

“Why would I kid about that?”

“I still have four hours here?”

“...Ah.” Tooru couldn’t believe what he was seeing: a small, sympathetic smile softening Iwaizumi’s weary features. “Did you open again?”

He didn’t often ask after Tooru, mostly because Tooru was more than happy to offer his own unsolicited updates. But he always remembered the smallest details, and when he did ask, his quiet concern always made Tooru’s chest feel warm. “Yeah,” he sighed, feeling the corner of his lips tick up despite himself, “but it’s alright. Seeing you makes it worth it.”

It really was worth it, especially to see Iwaizumi’s eyes widen and ears flush that sweet pink again. “...Can I have my coffee now?”

“Already on it!” Atsumu called.

Iwaizumi’s ears stayed pink as he paid and rounded the counter to the pick up area. The color only ebbed away when he accepted his drink from Atsumu, much to Tooru’s quiet satisfaction. “Here ya go!” Atsumu cheerfully announced.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Iwa-kun?”

Iwaizumi stuttered to a halt and turned just enough to pin Atsumu under a small, confused frown. “Yeah?”

“I’m feelin’ nosy about our favorite regular.” His smile stayed blithe, even as Iwaizumi’s eyes flickered towards Tooru and his ears warmed again. “D’ya have any plans for Christmas yet?”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh, I’m not asking for myself! Just curious, thas’all.”

“Oh…then…not really.”

“Aw, what a shame,” Atsumu hummed, with a smile that said quite the opposite.

“...I guess.” With a last quick glance at Tooru, Iwaizumi adjusted his backpack and made his way to his regular spot. When he was safely tucked into his seat and had his headphones settled over his ears, Tooru landed a backhanded smack to Atsumu’s arm.

“Ow, what the hell?”

“That’s my question!” Tooru hissed. “What the hell was that?”

“Oh please, don’t act like you weren’t wondering,” Atsumu scoffed, rolling his eyes even as he rubbed at his arm. “I did you a favor.”

“Being embarrassed by the world’s most obvious wingman is not a favor!” Never mind that a knot he hadn’t noticed in his stomach had loosened the moment Iwaizumi reluctantly admitted he didn’t have Christmas plans. No Christmas plans meant no partner meant Tooru could continue crushing on him guiltlessly, even if he still needed to scrape together the courage to actually…do anything about his crush. It wasn’t fair, how much harder it got to flirt the more he actually liked a person.

“Oh, quit moping.” Tooru squawked from under the hand ruffling his hair. “Just cuz ya don’t have plans doesn’t mean all hope is lost! You might get another gift from your secret admirer!”

“Shut up!”

Too late. Tooru didn’t miss the way Iwaizumi went still for a breath, eyes flickering towards the counter, before snapping back to his laptop.

“Nah, don’t worry. I still think it’s him.”

“Well, I don’t,” Tooru grumbled, letting the top of the coffee grinder drop with a dulled clang over new beans. “If Iwa-chan liked me, he would say something. He wouldn’t jump through all these hoops.”

“Fer chrissake.”

Tooru wasn’t sure why, out of everything about the strange secret admirer situation, Atsumu was so stubborn in his belief that Iwaizumi was the one behind the gifts. Iwaizumi didn’t do secret gifts and notes. He certainly didn’t do pressed leaves and flowers and sports energy drink powder packets.

Okay, maybe he did the last thing. But still. If he’d wanted to give them to Tooru, he would’ve just…handed them over. The sad thing was, as much as Tooru wanted to relish the feeling of having a secret admirer, any happiness he felt was tinged with a bitter disappointment that the gifts weren’t coming from Iwaizumi.

At least he could keep enjoying the view. Iwaizumi only stayed for a few hours—“Practice is earlier today.”—but in those few hours, he kept standing and stretching a bit before sitting back down to work some more. Something about not wanting to stay seated for too long because it’d be bad for his muscles. Tooru couldn’t quite recall the reason, but he could say that he was in full agreement. Anything to let him continue playing witness to the bulge of Iwaizumi’s bicep and deep sigh he let out as he stretched his shoulders.

“One more hour,” Tooru finally sighed, rolling his neck and shoulders during a brief lull in customers.

“Congratulations,” Atsumu muttered with a wry grin. “Any plans for the rest of the day?”

“I’m going home and taking a nice nap before practice.” He noticed a flicker of movement from the corner of his eye and looked up in time to see Iwaizumi making his way to the bathroom.

“God, yer like a prairie dog.”

Tooru frowned at Atsumu. “I’m sorry, we can’t all have some weird enemies-to-lovers thing in high school. Some of us have to make do with sad little crushes.”

“You said it, not me.”

Tooru only dignified his coworker with a stuck-out tongue as he made his shift drink. If he were totally honest, he did feel a prick of jealousy for the way Atsumu had met his boyfriend: years in high school pining away, until they found out they would be attending the same university, playing on the same collegiate team. The thought of holding back his feelings on a daily basis, instead of at infrequent tournaments and training camps made Atsumu pop his secrecy like a balloon and blurt out his feelings. By some miracle, Sakusa had felt the same, and the rest was history.

Meanwhile, Tooru had spent high school thinking he was straight and dating his way through girls who didn’t understand his devotion to volleyball. He didn’t realize he was bisexual until college, which meant his lame gay puppy crush was happening just as he entered his 20s instead of his teens. And he hated it. He hated feeling like this, so easily flustered and pining and hoping something would change without actually doing anything to change things himself.

“Leavin’ already, Iwa-kun?”

Tooru’s head snapped up to see Iwaizumi frozen in the middle of sliding his laptop into his backpack. “Ah…yeah. Practice is soon.”

“Want a snack before ya go? Kawa here loves the peppermint brownie!”

“Tsumu, you snitch!” Tooru gasped, secretly preening under Iwaizumi’s soft scoff and softer grin. “Now he’s not going to think I’m a big serious volleyball player!”

“The occasional brownie won’t ruin your playing,” Iwaizumi reassured him in a flat voice. “But I shouldn’t, not right before practice. Maybe next time.”

“I’ll have a nice and warm one ready for you!” Tooru called after him as he left the cafe.

“Maybe yer right.” He turned to see Atsumu shaking his head at him. “Maybe it’s not him. With how obvious you are, he’d have no reason to feel nervous about askin’ ya out.”

Tooru didn’t have any comeback besides narrowed eyes and a muttered, “I’m going to restock the coffee and not think about the injustice of you having Christmas plans.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Tooru hauled the box of coffee bean bags to the cafe’s merchandise shelf and began refilling the lines of beans. Arabica, French Roast, Peppermint Hot Chocolate, Espresso—

Wait, what?

His eyes snapped back to the packet that they had just scanned over. Sure enough, it was a little white paper packet with green lettering, clearly taken from a larger box of hot chocolate. The lettering promised peppermint hot chocolate “with real peppermint crumbles!” And next to the packet was a now-familiar envelope, holding a now-familiar slip of blue notebook paper with now-familiar neat writing.

You really like candy canes. I don’t really see the appeal of mint, but my roommate swears by this hot chocolate around Christmas, so I asked if I could take a packet. Maybe this will become a favorite of yours, too.

“Tooru-kun? Why’d you stop?”

His head shot up, and he was mortified to realize that his eyes were stinging with the threat of grateful tears. “Nothing, just…found something.” The sound of a gasp made him grin as he hurried through the rest of the stock and returned behind the counter.

“Lemme see, lemme see!”

Tooru skirted Atsumu's grabby hands to present the note over his head. "Behold! A Christmas prese— hey!"

Atsumu reached up and plucked the note out of Tooru's hand to coo over it. "Awww he—

"They."

"—noticed yer favorite candy? And robbed his roommate for ya? That's so romantic!"

"...Robbery is romantic?"

"Sure! I stole Samu's shirts for my first coupla dates with Omi!"

"...Huh. Well, my admirer specifically said they asked their roommate, so…wait, that's not the point!" Tooru sputtered. “The point is that they’re observant and sweet about it, and they don’t expect any congratulations for it, they just want to spread a little happiness, and…”

His words faded as he stared at the note, noticing something for the first time: a slight smudge to the otherwise-neat letters, as though something had brushed the still-drying ink. It looked an awful lot like his admirer was left-handed.

Iwaizumi was left-handed.

No. No. He couldn’t let himself hope. Iwaizumi didn’t even know about how much he liked peppermint until today, thanks to Atsumu’s blatant wingmanning. No amount of wishful thinking and Atsumu’s conspiracies would make it any more likely for Iwaizumi to be the secret admirer.

That’s what he told himself, at least. If his mind still lingered over all the possible “what if”s, well…nobody’s perfect.

☙❧

Against all odds, Tooru made it past Christmas and New Year’s unscathed. It helped that he was forced to work less during that holiday week, though for once, he found himself wishing he could be back at the cafe when he was stuck at home. He loved spending the New Year with his family, but he couldn’t help wondering what, if any, presents his admirer might have left him.

Never mind the fact that the gifts had stopped while Iwaizumi was out of town. Correlation did not mean causation…or something like that.

He didn’t fully realize how much he’d come to look forward to the gifts until mid-January, when he arrived to work on a Saturday afternoon and was presented with a tiny gift bag dangling off of Atsumu’s finger. “Awwww, Atsu-chan! I didn’t get you anything.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes. “You know this isn’t from me.”

“Then who—? Oh!” Tooru snatched the bag off of Atsumu’s finger and peered inside. He found a red good luck charm and, sure enough, a slip of blue notebook paper.

Happy New Year. It’s a bit late, but I hope this can bring you some luck this year. Honestly, you won’t need it for V.League try-outs. You’ll be the best setter they’ve ever seen.

“Why’re ya crying? What’d the bastard say?!”

“These are happy tears, you idiot,” Tooru laughed, hastily wiping his tears away. “He…he knows I’ll be going to V.League try-outs this year. How does he know that?”

“I knew it! You said ‘he’! D’you admit that yer admirer’s Iwaizumi?”

Heat rushed to Tooru’s cheeks when he met Atsumu’s knowing, glinting eyes. “N-no! Not necessarily…”

“Right. And the fact that he came in this morning is just coincidence,” Atsumu said with a snort. “He looked mighty disappointed to find me here alone, by the way. Not that that has anything to do with anything.”

“Shut up!” Tooru shoved at Atsumu’s shoulder with a helpless laugh.

He would never admit it out loud, but Atsumu’s theory was proving to be more and more likely. The thought was thrilling and terrifying all at once. Here he was, so impossibly close to the two things he wanted most: a place on a Division One team, and Iwaizumi. At least the V.League was something he’d been working toward for most of his life.

Iwaizumi, though…he could only call upon luck and the other man’s feelings. Tooru was so close, the clues were lining up so well, that the thought of his guess being wrong made his stomach twist into knots. If his admirer wasn’t Iwaizumi, then this whole endeavor would become incredibly disappointing for both himself and whoever his admirer did turn out to be.

As the gifts continued, they began to show hints of the admirer: a favorite candy, the flavors of sports drinks that he avoided, a mention of his mother’s cooking.

Then, a week before Valentine’s Day, Tooru found a Vabo-chan keychain with a note tied to it like a carrier pigeon.

I don’t know if you have plans for Valentine’s Day. If you do, then I’m so sorry if these trinkets have made you uncomfortable at all.

If you don’t, and you would like to spend it with me, could you leave a note here with your answer? You can accept or reject me, but either way, I’d like to know. I don’t want any chocolates to go to waste.

Chocolates…chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Usually girls gave chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Was his guess wrong? Was his admirer in fact a young woman and not the young man he’d been yearning after for the past year?

He shook himself out of that spiral. Whoever his admirer turned out to be, he knew one things for certain: he wanted to meet them.

And so, with a piece of plain white lined paper torn out of his Spanish notebook, he followed the instructions and left a note in return, for the first time in the months that he’d been receiving gifts.

I’d love to~ I close on Valentine’s Day, but we’ll be closing a few hours earlier for the holiday. You come here often enough to leave all these presents, so…I’ll see you here?

Two days later, he found a slip of blue paper with five short words.

Yeah. I’ll see you then.

“Holy shit,” he whispered at the paper. “I have a valentine.”

☙❧

Valentine's Day found Tooru breaking one of his cardinal rules of fashion: he was wearing his favorite dark jeans to work, putting them at risk of coffee stains. But he also had a chance at breaking a years-long streak of being single on the holiday, so screw it. He deserved to break a rule.

"The second yer done with dishes, ya have to change out of your work shirt," Atsumu reminded him for the umpteenth time that shift.

"I know, Mom."

"Snark all ya want, it's not gonna be my fault if yer valentine sees ya in the orange monstrosity before ya even leave for yer date." Atsumu fell silent, eyes widening in horror. "Oh my god," he whispered, "I really do sound like my mom."

As nagging as his coworker was, Tooru immediately missed his distracting presence when he was left alone for the last hour of business. He nearly dropped the espresso cups at least three times while making orders in that hour, and as soon as he locked the doors and flicked off the cheery neon "Open" sign, he moved faster than ever before through the closing procedures.

Once the meeting time rolled around, Tooru had not only changed into his teal shirt and gray cardigan, but he'd also had the chance to fix his hair in the cafe bathroom.

All that preparation, and he still jolted at the sound of a light knock at the front door. He peeked out from the backroom at the glass door, his heart swelling with joy as soon as he made out the person outside.

There, looking like a dream in black slacks and a green button-down that brought out the olive tones in his eyes, stood Hajime Iwaizumi. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and he fiddled with a small gift bag as he stared up at the sky. Tooru could tell he had tried and failed to tame his messy hair, the strands already springing out of the soft combover he'd attempted.

Happiness and anxiety unlike anything he'd felt before swirled in Tooru's stomach as he made his way through the store and flicked off the lights on his way to the door. Iwaizumi had looked at the door when the lights started switching off, giving Tooru the unique pleasure of gazing into those lovely eyes as he unlocked the door.

Iwaizumi backed away from the door to give Tooru space to open and lock it from outside, but they still stood just a breath away from each other when Tooru turned from the store.

"It's you," he whispered.

"Y-yeah," Iwaizumi admitted, sounding strangely hoarse. "Um…surprise? Oh, uh, here." He suddenly held the small gift bag between them.

Tooru wasn't surprised to see some peppermint-dusted chocolates inside, but pure joy and gratitude still made his eyes sting when he met Iwaizumi's gaze again. "They look wonderful," he said with a smile. "I didn't know you like to cook, Iwa-chan."

Like clockwork, the nickname made those tan cheeks turn a sweet pink. "I…I don't. I mean, I don't cook sweets, not really. So…sorry if those don't taste good."

"Still…thank you. For this and for…for everything else." The more Tooru thought about the series of little trinkets and gifts, the more he marveled at the idea of Iwaizumi so diligently taking note of his life and preferences. "You…you remembered so much about me."

"I…yeah." Iwaizumi grimaced, and Tooru couldn't imagine why, not until he asked, "That wasn't…creepy or anything, right?"

A soft laugh slipped out of Tooru before he could hold it back, but it was hard to feel guilty about it, not when it earned him an even deeper blush from his secret admirer. "I could answer that," he murmured, stepping in close and relishing the sight of those hazel eyes widening. "But I think I'd rather kiss you, instead."

A quiet "Oh" was all the warning he got before he was pulled into a slow, deep, swoon-worthy kiss. Iwaizumi kissed with intent, as though he wanted to make sure every brush of his lips would be seared into Tooru's memory. Tooru tried to give as good as he got, and he was rewarded with the sound of a low groan and Iwaizumi's hands falling to his hips to back him into the storefront.

Everything about him was intoxicating: the amber musk of his cologne, the note of chocolate on his tongue, the feeling of his hands trailing up to Tooru's waist, the sound of his soft noises and groans. Tooru wanted to catalog and file away every detail of this kiss that he'd thought he would never experience.

When they parted, Tooru felt drunk, a feeling he saw mirrored on Iwaizumi's face. "Woah."

"Woah," Tooru agreed, laughing. "You'd better get this date started, Iwa-chan, or I'll keep you here and kiss you all night."

"That's not the worst idea you've had," Iwaizumi grumbled. But he stepped away, letting their only contact be Tooru grabbing his hand.

"Hey, Iwa-chan," Tooru hummed as Iwaizumi led the way to the bus stop.

"What, Nosy-kawa?"

"Hey!" Tooru gasped, helpless to the laughter shaking out of him. He valiantly ignored the heat prickling through him at the sight of Iwaizumi's smirk.

"...Well?"

"Nothing, just…I am oh-so-happy it was you! I’ve been hoping you were my secret admirer since the first gift!"

Iwaizumi didn't say anything in response, and he didn't need to. The pink on his cheeks and the gentle squeeze of his fingers told Tooru everything he wanted to hear.

Their date had barely started, but Tooru already knew that this would be the best Valentine's Day he'd ever had.

[letterstoear]

How I write my character letters!

So, I uh, been struggling with coming up with ideas for letters and thought I would go into depth on my works. If you have any suggestions for letters feel free to leave them in the ask box!!

Now, moving onto the topic at hand, how do I write my character letters? Well, it’s formed into six simple steps. Or at least simple for me, everyone has different processes after all.

Step 1: Prep!

Which characters am I confident in doing and who am I interested in? I ask myself those questions and go from there. I like to make a list of characters I will and won’t write for as I go through each series. For example, with Twisted Wonderland I’m comfortable writing for any of the characters. However, in cases like Haikyuu. Characters like Kageyama or Kenma is okay, but I struggle with Kita and Kuroo. I usually write for characters where I’m pretty familiar with the media.

Step 2: Research!

If it has the character in the media then I watch, read, or even just look at it if it's art. This helps me form an idea of what the character is like. Since, I usually write for characters I’ve already seen, it’s like revisiting parts of who the character is and why they act that way.

I also use this as a time to make sure I come to a conclusion as to what is canon and what is not. It’s important to be able to distinguish what is the fan view and what is canon. I don’t normally struggle with this, but I do like to keep this in the back of my mind.

Step 3: Character analysis

I think this step is pretty self explanatory. I usually write out my thoughts on the character or sometimes I’ll even talk it out with someone else. Whatever it is I’m getting my mind to focus on the character and decide how they move.

On my personal blog @2-lines-and-a-circle I divide certain characters into different chocolate flavors which helps me. I find it easier to categorize each character before writing them. For instance, I would classify Jade Leech from Twisted Wonderland as a mint chocolate because he’s refreshing.

Once I’ve established my own thoughts on the character, I take a look at character analysis done by other people. This is to get more thoughts onto the character as it’s important to have different views on the character. Especially since I might miss what someone else has pointed out.

Step 4: Break!!

I don’t like to go straight into writing after I’ve done all that because I’m usually burnt out. I just take a break for about a day to clean my thoughts.

Step 5: Quick re-watch!

The moment right before I start writing I watch or read something of the character. This is to just refresh my mind on who the character is. I also find it helpful to determine the speech pattern if it’s still fresh on my mind.

Step 6: Plan and write!

I write down an idea and flow with that one as I write the letter out. Once the rough draft is finished, I edit it and match it better to the character. I usually re-read the letter several times and question if this is accurate to the character. Most of the time it’s not and I have to do revisions. After all that editing is done, I’m finished and ready to post!

So, um, yeah that’s how I write the character letters! I plan on going more into depth for some of the previous letters I’ve done. Why? Because I think it would be nice to revisit the letters and talk about the ideas behind each one.