#still not convinced these books are real
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trying to make progress on my Realm of the Quarantine Finale write-up so I'm rereading my Fool's Errand notes while I wait in the car to pick my niece up and like. whoops I'm accidentally gonna give myself a fucking aneurysm.
I can taste the mental illness <3
#realm of the elderlings#Fool's Errand#tawny man trilogy#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#fitz and the fool#realm of the quarantine#excuse the deranged formatting and typos lol wrote all those in a state of pure hysteria#me when I'm sane#me when I'm straight#still not convinced these books are real#these are just a few of my notes btw in case that wasnt obvious lol
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i'm kind of late to this but i just finished reading the scholomance trilogy by naomi novik and i feel like it is such an underrated urban fantasy?? taking the chosen one trope and turning it on its head with a fmc who has been prophesied to bring death and destruction, who is imbued with terrible power, but cannot even properly use said power to solve any of her obstacles because it would obliterate them and her soul. it takes a tired trope and the idea of an 'overpowered mary sue' and throws it back in your face by showing how all the power and destiny in the world is useless against a system filled with corruption that has burdened you with an easy way out (evil/destructive magic) that you can't take so now you have to work twice as hard as everyone else just to do simple, constructive spells instead of flicking your wrist and being done with it.
#the scholomance#naomi novik#galadriel higgins#orion lake#bookblr#urban fantasy#a deadly education#the last graduate#ya fantasy#the golden enclave#ya fiction#it has a diverse cast#queerness just effortlessly woven in#and the entire thing is so seamlessly crafted with a narrative on what real change looks like#how to really rid your environment of corruption and change society for the better you have to do the gritty work#you have to be willing to do the unpleasant hard grueling organization and working with people / meeting them where they're at#you might not even get to see or do the pretty parts#but its still worth doing the distatesful shit#doing the compromising and giving space for people to learn and make up for mistakes#so that future generations can do better#and have the childhood u didn't#no spoilers in case by some miracle i convince another soul to read this but like#she legit fucking says it in the book#it's not the work she wants to do in the end. not what she envisioned. but she does what she must to make sure other kids don't suffer#makes me think of climate activism so much#we might not get to have the pretty wonderful utopia but we have to be willing to do the shitty stuff it takes to make that future possible
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some of you moved on from this way too quickly. i, however, DID FUCKING NOT!!!
#the goldfinch#donna tartt#theo decker#boris pavlikovsky#boreo#thatās fucking cinema#this whole scene being so book accurate kills me#and the fact that roger deakins did the cinematographyā¦#LIKE THIS SHIT HAS BEEN OUT FOR FIVE YEARS AND IM STILL CONVINCED IT ISNT REAL#if i could eat a scene i would fucking devour this shit#plate licked fucking clean#could actually write an essay on this i stg
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Potential January Reads
A Brilliant Night of Ice and Stars by Rebecca Connolly
Rhododendron Pie by Margery Sharp
So Big by Edna Ferber
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Vibrant Paradoxes by Bishop Robert Barron
The Diary of a Country Priest by George Bernanos
Doctor Thorne by Anthony Trollope
Katherine Wentworth by D.E. Stevenson
#monthly reading lists#books#i have so many specific books that i've been lining up#(especially since at the end of the month i was saving new books for the new year)#that i don't need the wider categories#the january categories are still represented#we have lots of vintage fiction (including an american one)#the first book is the story of the carpathia's rescue of the titanic#soon as i saw that premise i was like 'yes please'#it will cover january's category of a book with a cold setting#i read the first couple of chapters and a novel from the perspective of real people is very weird but i like the story so i'll keep going#i also started 'rhododendron pie' and it seems delightful#it's about someone straddling the worlds of normal grounded people and artsy people#and as someone from the world of normal grounded people who likes artsy stuff but still has the perspective that a lot of it is quite silly#i think it will be nice and relatable#i think i'm going to succumb to jane-eyre-ry#every time i consider a different classic reread my brain's just like 'what about jane eyre though?'#'vibrant paradoxes' is a book of essays that i got for free along with my book of church fathers#it's a very thick book to give away for free and looks good#i love essays and these are nice and short#it'll be good to dip into through the month#(i also want to read the church fathers book but that's not something to put on a monthly reading list)#(just something to read through thoughtfully like the bible)#'diary of a country priest' caught my attention months ago#and now that the library hold came in i have zero interest#but maybe putting it on a list will convince me to try#i'd kind of like to keep this one-barchester-a-month thing going and 'doctor thorne' is next#'katherine wentworth' is exactly the kind of vintage fiction that january is made for and i'd like to try and get it off my unread shelf#oh and i forgot to mention someone recommended ferber's first book#but when i downloaded that one i also figured maybe i should read the famous pulitzer-prize-winning one
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2000's Trio 2020's Trio
Imagine how great it would be if the PJO show is successful and gets the Harry Potter treatment where we get to see these kids grow up throughout the show!
If the Golden Trio was our big 2000's trio, I hope the Original Trio will be our big 2020's trioššš
#these are my 2 favorite middle grade book series and I'd love if I can have well done adaptations for both of them to squeal over#I actually didn't get into the HP movies until they were all well done and over with#so i didn't really get to 'grow up' with the characters in real time as the movies were coming out#so I'm really hoping I'll get that chance with the actors in the PJO series#how cool would it be to watch the Original Trio and the rest of CHB grow up alongside the show in real time?#also my mom and I love marathoning HP together and I'm really hoping the PJO show can be the next big thing we obsess over together#I convinced her to watch PJO with me be telling her PJO is like HP and showing her the trailer and musical songs#she was interested and said she's into mythology too so its a start!#tbh I'm looking forward to the PJO show way more than the HP reboot#mostly because I'm so attacted to the films and think they're pretty good adaptations even if they're not perfect#but with PJO we don't have any GOOD and FAITHFUL adaptations at all#what movies? there are no PJO movies#I still might give the HP reboot a watch esp. if its good but still. the movies mean so much to me#i love both series and there's nothing wrong with that#please be nice#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson tv show#disney+#the original trio#annabeth chase#grover underwood#harry potter#harry potter movies#harmione granger#ron weasley#the golden trio#harry potter reboot#hbo max#2000s trio and 2020s trio
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TBOB spoilers:
#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#bill cipher#the billble spoilers#i thought that he was trapped in a void while still having a connection to the statue and being able to see through drawings of himself#i thought the statue was his corpse and he could find a way to possess it again#i forgot he physically went into Stan's mind so i'm not so sure about the statue being his corpse anymore#he wouldn't have exactly got off scott free but it what actually happened to him is a far worse fate#he would've gotten out of the nightmare realm#instead of being forced to do worksheets every day he could've watched / waited for someone to make a deal#and worked on his book of course#he doesn't want to be fixed because he's convinced he's not broken#the real kicker is i think the axolotl meant well - he was trying to help Bill#but Bill would've probably rather gone to Hell than be forced to go to therapy#[personal tag here]#poll
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Moe is a Normal Guy with No Problems moodboard loreboard (early on, getting to know you)
#fire emblem#feh#decided. to listen to you guys and take a break LMFAOOOO (so low effort doodles)#i am physically incapable of not Not drawing.#was gonna compile a bunch of notes and maybe i still will?? but i thought it would be funner to convey it this way too!#i esp love thinking back to My Life is a Fucking Nightmare book 1 alfonse. he's so real to me#early moe/alfonse dynamic is just them constantly measuring each other up both fully convinced they've got it right (the coping mechanisms)#subjecting each other to a series of psychoanalysis and hunting each other for sport. and oversharing. a lot.#which leads to a very well-adjusted very normal mutual obsession#infinite 'i can fix him/it' loop but they are just as bad as each other.#moe tag#moe lore#summoner oc#fe alfonse#fe takumi#my art
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āTraveler in Spaceā, Cyrano de Bergerac (1950)
#De Guiche#Cyrano#Cyrano de Bergerac#Voyage dans la Lune#About books#I talk too much#JosƩ Ferrer is hilarious in this. It's still one of my favourite versions of the scene if not my favourite#His anxious little jumps are so funny so adorable and so real xD#I think this version manages well the different aspects of the scene. Cyrano's anxiety. His charm and wit#I think it sells the idea of Cyrano entertaining de Guiche and convincing him to stay in a way I think most other adaptations don't#Here in my opinion the evolution from de Guiche being annoyed first diverted later and invested at last feels natural#Cyrano all the while checking the time and whether the wedding is finished from time to time really is what makes the scene for me#Besides making it funnier and making Cyrano stay more in character I think it helps integrate the scene better in the play itself#Ferrer's powerful beautiful voice works wonders in this scene as well. How it's small playful and silly and then he regains his usual voice#It really brings home how his voice is at the end of the day even more Cyrano's main trait than the nose is#Anyway... I'm talking a lot just as usual. But I really love this scene
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Four of them should kill the fifth. He's executed, accused of treason. The four who have shed blood will be bound forever.
Les possƩdƩs (1988) dir. Andrzej Wajda
#andrzej wajda#les possedes#demons#Š±ŠµŃŃ#dostoyevsky#fyodor dostoyevsky#jerzy radziwilowicz#jean-philippe ecoffey#lambert wilson#laurent malet#mine#jutta lampe#took ages but finally found a faithful adaptation!#you can tell it was made with love so many perfect choices made like starting with ivan digging a grave for the printing press?#chefs kiss#love the casting for ivan shatov and pyotr verkhovensky#the way this novel will root its way through your heart is maddening I swear you can't finish this book and be normal about it#you don't even have to Enjoy it this book WILL afflict you in some real and indelible way#I wrote a 350k word novel inspired by it but I can't be the only one#avoid the recent radio 4 adaptation though its awful they managed to cut out everything decent from the book#camus also leaves out so many good bits in his no shade#love the 2014 one and all the direct quotes but it has some... odd directorial choices. still 100% convinced they watched this#so many scenes in this movie I went āoh so the 2014 one just. directly copied those visual huh. this staging is. identical.ā#anyway thank you wajda you were so real for this#only complaints no darya and they forgot to film the ending#but that's a mistake anyone could have made
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#just watched s 2 ep 7 of the vampire show#and these are just some ramblings that hopefully will not offend fans of the show im just trying to articulate my thoughts to myself#i think it was a cool idea to turn their trial into one of the theatrical performances onstage#however im still annoyed at how the domestic violence episode happened and was apparently a real thing#like idk it just ruins the whole vibe in the book of how these characters were living together doing awful things to humans yet#somehow mostly carrying on in civilized peace and not ever directing that violence toward each other for decades on end#this choice messes up the characterizations and relationship dynamics too much for me somehow#also messes up the aesthetics that are a delicate balance between the savage and grotesque and polite and refined#it was important to me that lestat wasnt the one to first cross that line in the books and that claudia was#i feel like kinda the one thing that lestat had going for him in the first book as a standalone story#was that he didnt ever cross certain lines with louis and claudia that the show made him cross there?#he seemed to have a different inner set of rules when it came to what violence he would do to humans and what he would do to them#it's hard to even articulate what kind of shittiness is a dealbreaker in a character or a ship to me#especially when theyre constantly doing stuff like feeding on people to stay alive#but for some reason lestat and louis beating the shit out of each other is just such a nonsense ooc thing to make them do in my opinion#also claudia in the book was valid for what she did to lestat already i thought. i dont see why they had to change or add to the motives#she was turned into a vampire at age 5 and therefore almost purely a vampire in nature and also totally valid in not being happy about it#and in the books lestat made her a vampire on his own after louis fed on her and they did not discuss it beforehand#and he never mentioned rules about a child vampire being forbidden and louis did not beg him to do it. in fact one of the biggest reasons#that louis and claudia decide to turn on lestat is because theyre convinced hes just pretending to know more than he does about vampirism#and either has nothing to teach them or wont ever let them go so they can find out anything for real about their own kind#these changes in the show bother me too but i think im not that good at articulating why#i also feel like as much as book louis's weakness and passiveness and guilt can get frustrating and isn't always interesting to follow#in a way that's kinda one of his more saving graces and most defining traits as a vampire as well - so i dont always know how to feel#about them making his character more powerful and aggressive and involved in things in the show at times?#on one hand i often get frustrated at his moping and indecisiveness and inactivity in the books#and yet on the other hand i find i miss his quieter softer excruciatingly polite book personality when i am watching the show at times too#p#vmpcs
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!!!writing!!!
#Writing#Am writing#my writing#spilled ink#writerblr#tcd#you ever had that thing where like. You try to write something. Realise itās not vibing (after a year and a half of tryingā¦)#So try something else#Then get distracted by a third thing#And then wake up in the middle of the night with an idea for the first bloody thing?????#So chapter two is going well at long last! I have? A? Vague confidence it might continue to go well! I hope!!!!!#I really. REALLY hope#Atlas went through a trauma last book and is now convinced they have been replaced by an imposter as they watch their life#Through third person view with separate thoughts and opinions and actions and inability to interact with the real world#Whether or not this is an imposter or just a traumatised part of them they donāt know. I do. It is. Theyāll figure it out in time#Andys off being chased up a tree or something. Being saved by Sam beloved#And here is the :)c start of :)c my first attempt to write a budding romance :)c#Thatās a lie. This will be my second attempt#The first was original Sonder and Sam was still a part of it#God thatās wild? Thinking about. Original Sonder Sam and Dolly. They would not have dated at all#Friends - sure. Friendly at least. But not romantically inclined#Dolly got SUCH a glow up in TSS. Good for her#Anyway Iām gonna try and get Peep kidnapped now ciao!
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the way good things happened to me.
#my friend/coworker with knw got me a signed book from the ceo of outdoor afro#and i went and followed the ceo on instagram and she immediately followed back and im like ahhhh#cause i love their brand#i got accepted as a sonoran wild ambassador#they're an organization built around promoting conversation efforts in arizona#so i get to be a part of that and what they do#AND AND AND#i have a real shot at getting a full time position with keep nature wild#like its still uncertai#but it's all there#i just#gotta convince them to bring me on#otherwise#i did apply to a parks job at estrella mountain which would be cool to get#if they'll pay me as much or more than what im making at dunn edwards#and im finally seeing korrie on friday#i miss her so much
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oh fuck good omens s2 comes out in two days
#FUCK#good omens#bluebird.txt#yay???#idek how i feel about this anymore. i think i'm excited. i'm kind of not fully convinced it's real still#when it drops and i watch it i'll be like OH this is actually happening#atp i consider the show a related but separate entity from the book so i'm looking forward to seeing where it goes#i think i'll keep the tag blocked and stick to the blogs i follow though#i don't want to experience fandom stupidity for the quadrillionth time because that's stupid and it will make me sad
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I just realized we didn't get Death Game this season either. i see .. Well that's okay *deflates like a balloon*
#kyuushi#I'M SAYING THIS IN A JOKING TONE BTW im literally So grateful for all that we did get during this season#I MEAN WE GOT PLENTY CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS SO I RLY CAN'T VOICE ANY COMPLAINTS ON THAT DEPARTMENT LMAO#But like....</33333 My DEAREST LITTLE GUY.. MY DARLING BABY ANGEL !!!! (<- spoken abt a literal game console)#me w/ a completely altered reality perception: Ok if they animate the shitty game chapter+establish DrŠ°luc's collaboration w/ Autumn Books#then Naturally what should come next is DG's introduction right??? :ā³ (<- Misplaced Confidence)#ngl i was pretty much convinced we'd be seeing him animated this time ā i feel like a real fool now HSJQJFJ That's on me tho ofc#'nyways .. weepweep sobsob I can't believe S2's over already!! those past months sure flew by! ( ; Ļ ; )#I can already feel a TVDINT-shaped hole forming in my TVDINT-shaped heart all over again . just like when S1 ended š¤§#i'm holding out for a 3rd Season confirmation already tho!! Let us hope that we get some news abt it in the futureš¤š¼#Then again i should probably catch up w/ the one that just ended first before that time comes š§ HKJAWHSJF#i wanna marathon the hell out of it so bad . . . Hopefully i'll have some time to do it soon !#wondertext#Nostalgia aside tho; everyone involved did an absolutely Remarkable job throughout this season once againā im still marvelling over it#I srsly cannot be thankful enough for all the arduous work they put into bringing us this new season :'3 I cherish it greatly#i kinda went off on a tangent there oops. Anyways i hope my boy DG makes it into S3 in the futureā hashtag DEATHGAMESWEEPā¼ļøā¼ļø#tvdint spoilers#kyuushi spoilers
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Iām not even gonna lie, a lot of my opinions about people are based on dreams Iāve had about them
#i know itās wrong and that my dreams are nonsense#but like iāve been lowkey convinced my stepdad is an imposter of some sort since i had a dream to that effect when i was 17#in the dream he hurt my mom and kidnapped me and his regional accent vanished and it was SUPER realistic. he was a spy#i know now heās not faking that fucking accent and i think his personality does in fact boil down to foolish dork#but thatās just convinced me that he has to be an alien or something thatās using us to learn about human kind#i think heās some sort of real life mr bean figure with more opinions and slightly less mishaps#i alsoā¦ and this one is embarrassing. i canāt get into ch*rli xcx (censoring to not end up in tags) or tr*ye because i had a dream#where they were staying in my house and they were REALLY bitchy to me and talked badly about me to my flatmate#even though i was proofreading a book one of them wrote for free#i want to listen to their new music and i have heard some of it and itās great but like#what about when they deliberately called me a bitch while i was still in earshot and took photos of me to laugh at#it WAS a dream but like. still#can you tell iām fucking catatonically high rn#i found an edible in my fridge i forgot was there and i ate it and then my friend proceeded to come over here#and punch holes in my sanity by talking about court case shit#she doesnāt approve of my cannabis usage because she personally had a bad experience and thinks her experiences are universal#so i was trying really hard to seem sober which was EXHAUSTING#i do think i will do a tolerance break soon just because i really want to focus on my health and wellness and eat a better diet#also i come up with insane ideas like my stepdad is a fucking extraterrestrial#i mean he is but thatās not the point. did you know heās never had a headache or a nosebleed? NOT NORMAL#and he never actually denies it#personal
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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