#like its still uncertai

[sukibenders]

Jace, sweetie, you never did anything wrong no matter what some in the fandom are saying, and you are entitled to question your mother because even if she proclaims you as her heir, the stark differences between you and your younger siblings are very apparent and when she dies who knows what will happen to the throne you were supposed to sit on, what will happen to you? Especially given that you are now mirroring your mother when she was younger, being anointed as her father's heir but met with uncertainty at every turn because said father did little to reassure her as well as those she would be ruling over. So no, I don't think you're making things more difficult, especially because the questions you are asking also tie into the succession crisis you and your family are currently fighting. Just because you get a little touchy with your mother doesn't make you wrong!

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive (Daily updates!)

By Adam Piore

A new study from researchers at Mass General Brigham suggests racial disparities and the difficulty in diagnosing the condition may be leading to a massive undercount.

Almost one in four Americans may be suffering from long COVID, a rate more than three times higher than the most common number cited by federal officials, a team led by Boston area researchers suggests in a new scientific paper.

The peer-reviewed study, led by scientists and clinicians from Mass General Brigham, drew immediate skepticism from some long COVID researchers, who suggested their numbers were “unrealistically high.” But the study authors noted that the condition is notoriously difficult to diagnose and official counts also likely exclude populations who were hit hardest by the pandemic but face barriers in accessing healthcare.

“Long COVID is destined to be underrepresented, and patients are overlooked because it sits exactly under the health system’s blind spot,” said Hossein Estiri, head of AI Research at the Center for AI and Biomedical Informatics at Mass General Brigham and the paper’s senior author.

Though the pandemic hit hardest in communities of color where residents had high rates of preexisting conditions and many held service industry jobs that placed them at high risk of contracting the virus, the vast majority of those diagnosed with long COVID are white, non-Hispanic females who live in affluent communities and have greater access to healthcare, he said.

Moreover, many of the patients who receive a long COVID diagnosis concluded on their own that they have the condition and then persuaded their doctors to look into it, he said. As a result, the available statistics we have both underestimate the true number of patients suffering from the condition and skew it to a specific demographic.

“Not all people even know that their condition might be caused or exacerbated by COVID,” Estiri said. “So those who go and get a diagnosis represent a small proportion of the population.”

Diagnosis is complicated by the fact that long COVID can cause hundreds of different symptoms, many of which are difficult to describe or are easily dismissed, such as sleep problems, headaches or generalized pain, Estiri said. According to its formal definition, long COVID occurs after a COVID-19 infection, lasts for at least three months, affects one or more organ systems, and includes a broad range of symptoms such as crushing fatigue, pain, and a racing heart rate.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggested that in 2022 roughly 6.9 percent of Americans had long COVID. But the algorithm developed by Estiri’s team estimated that 22.8 percent of those who’d tested positive for COVID-19 met the diagnostic criteria for long COVID in the 12 months that followed, even though the vast majority had not received an official diagnosis.

To calculate their number, Estiri’s team built a custom artificial intelligence tool to analyze data from the electronic health records of more than 295,000 patients served at four hospitals and 20 community health centers in Massachusetts. The AI program pulled out 85,000 people who had been diagnosed with COVID through June 2022, and then applied a pattern recognition algorithm to identify those that matched the criteria for long COVID in the 12 months that followed.

Some researchers questioned the paper’s conclusions. Dr. Eric Topol, author of the 2019 book “Deep Medicine: How Artificial Intelligence Can Make Healthcare Human Again,” said the medical field is still divided over precisely what constitutes long COVID, and that complicates efforts to program an accurate AI algorithm.

“Since we have difficulties with defining long Covid, using AI on electronic health records may not be a way to make the diagnosis accurately,” said Topol, who is executive vice president of Scripps Research in San Diego. “I’m uncertain about this report.”

Dr. Ziyad Al-Aly, chief of research and development at the VA St. Louis Health Care System, and an expert on long COVID, called the 22.8 percent figure unrealistically high and said the paper “grossly inflates” its prevalence.

“Their approach does not account for the fact that things happen without COVID (not everything that happens after COVID is attributable to COVID)— resulting in significant over-inflation of prevalence estimate,” he wrote via email.

Estiri said the research team took several measures to validate its AI algorithm, retroactively applying it to the charts of 800 people who had received a confirmed long COVID diagnosis from their doctor to see if it could predict the condition. The algorithm accurately diagnosed them more than three quarters of the time.

The algorithm scanned the records for patients who had a COVID diagnosis prior to July 2022, then looked for a constellation of symptoms that could not be explained by other conditions and lasted longer than two months. To refine the program, they conferred with clinicians and assigned different weights to different symptoms and conditions based on how often they are associated with long COVID, which made them more likely to be identified as potential sufferers.

Now that the initial paper has been published, the team is building a new algorithm that can be trained to detect the presence of long COVID in the medical records of patients without a confirmed COVID-19 diagnosis so the condition can be confirmed by clinicians and they can get the care they need, Estiri said.

But the most exciting part of the new research, Estiri said, is its potential to facilitate follow-up research and help refine and individualize treatment plans. In the months ahead, Estiri and his co-principal investigator Shawn Murphy, chief research information officer at Mass General Brigham, plan to ask a wide variety of questions by querying the medical records in their sample. Does vaccination make a patient more or less likely to develop the condition? How about treatment with Paxlovid? Do the symptoms patients develop differ based on those factors? What are the genomic characteristics of patients who are suffering from cardiovascular symptoms as opposed to those whose symptoms are associated with lung function or those who crash after exercising? Can they identify biomarkers in the bloodstream that could be used for diagnosis?

They have already prepared studies on vaccine efficacy, the effect of age as a risk factor, and whether the risk of long COVID increases with the fourth and fifth infection, Estiri said. “We were waiting for this paper to come out,” he said. “So now we can actually go ahead with the follow-up studies. With this cohort we can do things that no other study has been able to do, and I’m hoping it can really help people.”

Study link: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666634024004070

[was-that-a-fanfic]

Love Him Till The Day That You Die!

What now?

Chapter 7: Those Who Could Speak

Last< --- >Next

It was like safe haven itself had heaved a sigh of relief as the lights stabilized above and the toys went back to their normal activities.

And Susan... stood there.

Her pack still lay open and exposed at her feet, the lack of weight alien across her shoulders. Her hands wouldn’t seem to stop shaking, each clinging to the forearm of the other.

Slowly, as if lost in a daze, she looked down at its comforting weight. And, hooking one strap with her hand, sealed herself it up and pulled herself it back together on.

Safe Haven put on a valiant struggle to live up to it’s name.

Blue fabric painted with fluffy clouds were draped all about the ceiling, string lights spread everywhere to add their brightness and cheer, and for the first time Susan took notice of the murals that covered the wall. Running her fingers across the shapes painted on brick behind her as she took them in.

“Get some rest Okay? I- I need to talk to Doey.”

Poppy was backing out of the tent where Kissy was being settled in, the Employee seemed to be staying with the pink toy for the moment and Susan was stepping forward to meet the doll before she’d really known she was going to.

“Poppy,” The doll jumped, genuinely surprised by her second sudden appearance “I think we’ve both dropped a lot on top of everything else he’s already dealing with here. Maybe give him a bit more time?”

A number of emotions crossed the porcelain face before finally settling on frustration.

“Time is something we don’t have.”

“I know, but will pushing things help?”

Argument parted Poppy’s lips but she paused, considering this stranger who’s sudden appearance had an even bigger impact on Doey than her own had and the auxiliary power doors she’d been headed to. The internal struggle ended with a huff and a curt nod of acceptance as Poppy reversed course back to her friends side.

---

After a while she’d taken in the whole main room, taking in the rest of the toys murals from the nightmarish depiction of catnap, the illustrated argument over what the best food is, to safe haven itself held protected in Doey’s arms.

They loved him and trusted him to keep them safe, he was their protector. The pride mostly overshadowed the worry at what an intense burden he’d been settled with.

She’d offered up more of her supplies to Medic, the aptly named Boogie Bot who served as the havens, well, medic. Who then forced her to properly disinfect and bandage the Pianosaurus caused cut on her thigh, berating her over her blood soaked hackjob.

Then she’d settled in to help Scout (the Boogie Bot who’d been at the door when they arrived) and Izzy (a Bobby Bearhug Smiling Critter who’d asked what was going on earlier) to distribute the food she’d brought. No one was about to claim they were stuffed (pun not intended except by the author) but there was enough to take the edge off everyone's hunger and still ration some for later. The excitement as she’d helped hand goodies like Bunzobars, Playtime Lemonade, and Huggy Bricks to everyone was palpable.

“Last are Poppy and Kissy and her Employee friend. Can you take them those and I’ll -”

Izzy had given Scout a not-so-subtle tap and whispered something they nodded along to as Susan collected the assigned rations, surprised to have them snatched away by the bear.

“I’ve got those don’t you worry about it!” She chirped, hurrying away before Susan could even question it.

“You take Doey his share.” Scout corrected.

Susan sputtered at the sudden turn, nervous and maybe just a little panicked at the idea. “What? That – surely you should be the one to take it to him, or -”

“I need to store the rest of the supplies you brought, and he will try to avoid taking any rations so that there is more for others.” Servos whirred softly as Scout made a shooing motion at her. “Go on then.”

She plucked a Honeycomb crunch from the remaining pile and held it like some sugary security blanket, uncertainly turning toward the Auxiliary Power room only to be met with Izzy hanging out of Kissy’s tent shooting her the Smiling Critters equivalent of two thumbs up encouragingly.

Well that was one toy who’d definitely put together a few things.

---

The generator hummed and sputtered as Doey checked over its every inch and gear and bolt, muttering to themselves as they tried to track down what was wrong with it this time.

It was days like this he really felt like little more than three kids in a dough trench coat playing grownup.

It didn’t help that his mind was reeling from today’s endless surprises, each of which had been ever so kind to arrive with its own emotional baggage that had the pieces of his personality more fragmented than they’d been in ages.

Within Doey, the part of him that was only Jack had pulled away from the rest of their mind.

Panicking and inconsolable at the back of their thoughts, neither Matthew or Kevin could blame the youngest part of their personality but the generator took too much focus for either of them to properly console him.

Matthew had (he claimed) come to terms with the loss of his parents long before Playtime had their way with him, Kevin’s had been so horrible he was glad they were gone, Jack though had never really gotten over the loss of his and their part in it.

Guilt radiated off Kevin in waves as Jack’s confusion and grief flowed through them but he stayed resolutely focused on the problem at hand. With one final hiccup and sputter the sound shifted and the generator began to purr the way it was supposed to.

Doey heaved a sigh of relief, crossing to the opposite wall to lean against the work table. Finally something was going right.

---

The door scraped opened behind him.

Because of course it did, of course he couldn’t just have this one moments victory in peace, and Doey braced for whatever was about to happen next.

“I- Scout told me to bring this to you…”

She looked different now, older, but still absolutely the same person; and she just seemed so... small.

It was one of the harder things for Jack in their memories of that day. Nothing like the rest of his recollections of her, of reaching up and being engulfed in her love and protection. How small she’d been, how delicate, how gentle and they’d-

“I- I think they thought they were helping but – but I’m just here to drop this off and I’ll go…I plan on doing everything I can to stay out of the way so don’t worry I don’t expect you to even want to see me I -”

“Stop!” She flinched, mouth snapping shut and a hand coming to cover it. She didn’t look afraid though more.. disappointed? In… in herself? It was all just too much.

“Just- just give me a minute.”

Doey ran both hands down his face, stretching it and smearing his features. It was just too loud, everything inside him was too loud.

She stood stock still as he gathered himself, trying and only partially failing to avoid staring. watching his every move, taking in every detail right down to his posture.

Every word, every mistake flooded back to her, as if she hadn’t spent the entirety of the last twelve years turning them over in her mind. She’d told herself she wouldn’t do this, wouldn't push and overwhelm him and already she was failing.

He twitched and spasmed as his body struggled to comply with three separate signals of how it was supposed to move, finally covering his face for a moment and letting out a long sigh..

“Thank you.” He said carefully, indicating the food in her hand “But it would be better if that went to one of the other toys.”

“...Scout told me you would say that, and... to give it to you anyway-”

Because of course she had, her and Izzy had taken it upon themselves to make sure he took care of himself at least a fraction as much as he did the rest of safe haven.

She held the candy out at arms length, but didn’t move any closer “And...it IS your favorite...or was…”

He didn’t step closer either, an arm stretching to pluck the bar from her hand. A Honeycomb Crunch. It was still his favorite. All of theirs, funnily enough, and he hadn’t gotten a hold of one for a very very long time.

“It is. Thank you Ma’a-”

Wait. no.

“Su- Mo-? Mmmnnn.” the dough mouth disappeared into a thin line as he struggled over just what the heck to call her.

“Honey, you are twenty years old and haven’t seen me in more than a decade. You can call me whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Twenty-seven.” Doey corrected without really thinking.

There was barely a flash of confusion that instantly shifted to consideration, then understanding, and Susan nodded.

“Matthew-” there was a warmth in her tone that made the boy buried in the dough creatures heart ache even past the surprise.

“And Kevin?”

The question was a sharp shock, the third part of their personality too busy furiously warning them of all the ways this could be a trick, a trap! That he hadn’t expected to be...considered? acknowledged? anything but harmed really...shit how old was he?

“...Tw-twenty-four.”

Another nod, there was no judgment in those eyes at all, just acceptance and warmth. It was the quietest Kevin had become in years.

“Exactly, whatever you choose is just fine.”

She stood there, a small exhausted smile on her lined face as she looked at them with so much love and pride and Doey couldn’t handle it, he looked down at the candy bar in his hands and it was all just too much.

His shoulders quaked as a sob bubbled up from deep inside him, eyes blurring.

“M-Mommy-”

His voice hitched wetly and she’d moved before really registering her own actions, stopping herself just shy of actually touching him.

“I’m here baby, I’m right here...if you want me here.”

She hovered, caught between the urge to comfort him and the fear of overwhelming

“But why? Why now? Where have you BEEN?!”

He lashed out, fist striking the metal table hard enough for the wall to shudder but didn’t actually leave a dent. Susan didn’t flinch at the action, didn’t cower, but she did shift so that he had more space, creating an open path to the door. She’d gotten fairly good over the years at knowing what was an actual blow that needed dodging and this wasn’t one. This was frustration trying desperately to find an outlet.

All this time Kevin had thought he’d killed her, all those years of Jack mourning, Matthew trying to comfort them both through their own traumas, and she’d been alive the whole time?!

“You’re right to be upset, its taken me far too long to find you. But I never stopped looking, never stopped trying. I knew you were still here. Somewhere.”

“I m-missed you so m-mmucchh.”

He reached for her and there was no hesitation, finally receiving the consent she’d been hoping for.

She wrapped her arms around him and tucked his head under her chin as they both wept, holding him tight as he clung to her arm and she rocked gently on her heels. After a time the sobs slowed then settled into little hiccups and with a sniffle he muttered into her shirt.

“I’m sorry I h*hic*hurt you.”

She tensed, just a little, and pulled away just enough to look down at him and tilt his face to look up at hers.

“No, nuh-uh, absolutely not. That was not your fault. Playtime set that up completely. They manipulated an injured and confused child… Three! Those bastards did it to three of you at once!” she sighed “And we fell for it. I didn’t listen to you, I pushed you too hard when you were already hurting. Even the lab coats they gave us ‘to keep things sterile’ were only to make things more confusing for you. You NEVER should have had to deal with that. I – I should have seen what they were doing. It never even should have gotten that far I should have – I should have saved you before you ever fell.”

There was something startling about hearing a parent/parental figure curse for the first time. Kevin on the other hand was here for it, sneaking out a snarky.

“Yeah...you should have.” Now Doey was the one who pulled away sitting a bit straighter and suddenly looking affronted “- n-no, No! It wasn’t your fault I shoulda stayed closer I shoulda listened I – Guh, it was no ones fault! No one but Playtimes. Safety rail’s aren’t supposed to DO that! That’s the whole point of them! Safety!”

She couldn’t help the tiniest laugh, the sheer conviction of what was yes objectively true. That definitely was the point of them, he wasn’t wrong there. And suddenly they were both giggling in that way you do when you’re just so so exhausted.

The laughter died down and they each caught there breath. He looked at her for a long moment, the different parts of him settling on at least one solution.

“I think... I wanna call you Mom. Okay?”

Susan’s heart leapt into her throat in possibly the most positive way it had in well over a decade and she nodded, trying not to smile too widely at their decision.

“Okay, yeah that’s… But what about you? What do you want me to call you?”

He wasn’t just her Jackie anymore after all.

He took a moment to consider, toying with his fingers.

“I, uh, I’ve been Doey for a pretty long time now, It’s what I’m used to. So I think we’ll stick with that.”

She nodded, and he seemed to realize something, glancing at the door and with a sigh getting back to his feet. Tone shifting to something a bit more mature and steady.

“It’s been a very busy day for everyone and it’s past lights out, I need to make sure everyone gets some rest. We can talk more tomorrow, okay?”

Tomorrow, tomorrow would be good, there was a tomorrow worth looking forward to now.

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

it feels like I'm going fucking insane I just finished the episode "One day, one room" and i was fucking astounded. It left me with my mouth open, literally peak television. Seeing this side of house, seeing him finally open up for once, seeing him say "I don't know", the novelty of seeing him experience the fact that connection comes with uncertainess. He made that human connection and he doesn't know if it helped her or not

The DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TIME HOUSE GOES TO THE JOGGING PARK TO GET AWAY FROM CUDDY AND ITS OLAYED FOR LAUGHS AND THEN THE SAME LOCATION IS SHOWN FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE BOTH LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY WHEN HE TAKES THE PATIENT THERE

THE CHANGE. THE FUCKING CHANGE OF THE MOOD OF THE TONE OF THE WHOLE EPISODE. THE CHARACTERIZATION GODDDDD

This literally had a huge effect of me this episode was touching

ANYWAYS PEOPLE ON REDDIT DONT LIKE IT???? AM I INSANE???? AM I DUMB???? AM I ILLITERATE IN MEDIA??? AM I GOING INSANE??? IS THIS NOT ONE OF THE BEST HOUSE MD EPISODES????? im asking you because youre the only house md person i know on this hellsite

Well, your first mistake was taking what people on reddit say seriously and letting their opinion affect the way YOU think about this episode and how it affected you!!!!! One day one room is indeed, an amazing episode, it really is one of those times where we see House truly open up. One of the rare times where he opens up to someone other than Wilson, or Cuddy, someone who doesn't actually even really know him. And he opens up for the patients benefit!! He only does it because she asked him to!! He doesn't have much to gain from this but she asked for it, she basically begged for someone to connect with her pain and he happened to be the one she chose for the task. Even tho this sort of thing does NOT come naturally to him at all.

Theres just something about how uncertain he is about all of this too. The way he asks his team for help (tell her your life sucked - it didn't, tell her nothing bad has ever happened to you - but it did, dont tell her anything. and don't these answers say some interesting things about the people who gave them), the way he settles for a half truth at first and almost loses her trust because of it. The way he eventually just lets it happen. The way he is still so uncertain about whether he did the Right thing even when the impact of his actions seems to be mostly positive. The way he is still not sure if he truly helped her or if he just made a traumatised girl remember the horrible things that happened to her. The way he had to unearth his own past to do that (did it make any difference? Wouldn't it have been better to just forget everything?). The way he is clearly bothered by it. "Because i don't know." What a way to end this episode. All of that uncertainty, the fact that human connections are one of those things that he will never be able to fully understand or control, the fact that he will never know if he made the right choice. Its honestly been a few months since i last watched the earlier seasons but you made me think about this ep again and yeah you are so right, this is probably one of the best house md episodes. Me (insane) to you (also insane): you are not insane and neither am i. Take my hand. Strangers on reddit don't know shit.

[alwerakoo]

Baby Blue (Chapter 10)

Rise of the TMNT Leonardo/Yuichi Usagi Chapter 10 of a longer fic THIS IS PART OF A SERIES - might be confusing to read without context

AO3

---

Leo spends the next day seething in his own anger, feeling his emotions slowly burning him from the inside out.

He doesn't talk to anyone, carefully avoiding all questions, the more caring and honest – the worse.

It feels like the whole world just caught fire, burning him with his every move, no matter which way he turns. He feels like he's the one who set it ablaze.

There must be something deeply, fundamentally wrong with him.

There's anger and frustration inside him that he's never been able to digest; it settles in every part of his body like hot ash. He's scared of trying to pry it away. He's scared that he'd hollow himself out and it still wouldn't be enough.

Leo locks himself in his room, idly tracing the same lines on the floor, taking his phone out and putting it back.

'Call me when you can start acting like it again.'

Leo doesn't know when that might be. He doesn't know if he ever really did in the first place.

He wonders if he's a bad friend. A bad brother. A bad person.

He feels the weight of his own thoughts crushing him; the way they loop back on themselves like the hands of a broken clock.

Once, in the middle of an evening filled with way too much junk food and sugar, Donnie told him about clocks. How sometimes, when you look inside an old one, you can see tiny scratches on the gleaming metal of the gears; traces of previous repairs. Witness marks.

“Then you know what's been fixed before,” he said, pausing to yawn.

Leo thinks that if he were a clock, his interior would be pristine.

He never tried to fix anything.

It feels like he's been ticking over the same hour for a long, long time.

He lies on his bed, his gaze tracing the lines separating the bricks on his ceiling, the lonely and pale glow-in-the-dark stickers on his ceiling. He reaches out as if to run his fingers over them.

He must've put them there when he was twelve, maybe eleven, carefully balanced on his older brother's shoulders. It feels like a day and a lifetime have passed since then.

When they were done, Raph set him down.

“Good job,” he smiled, raising his hand for a fist-bump.

Raph often looked at him that way, even now.

Like he was seeing some better, cleaner version. Someone Leo hadn't been in a long time.

He had spent many nights in this anger; in hatred for someone he's not.

Someone he would never be.

And then, in the middle of that sleepless day, lying back on his own bed, Leo hits a wall.

Why not, he asks himself. Why not?

And with another breath, he realizes that any answer he could come up with would only be a poor excuse.

The truth is the simplest thing in the world.

He's afraid.

Leo stands up, feeling his stomach fill with cotton.

There's a mirror in the corner of his room; tall and irreversibly useless at this angle due to the cracks spanning the entire length of its top like a spider's web.

Leo stands before it, watching as the lines of broken glass distort his reflection.

It's an ugly sight, and he really needs to throw it away eventually.

He slowly reaches out, resting his fingers on the wooden frame until his knees buckle, hitting the cold floor. He tilts his head, staring at his new reflection.

There's a little less of him in it; his shoulders drawn up and uncertain. But it's real. Imperfect with all the hesitation and dark spots under his eyes that mark his face.

Maybe, he thinks, reaching out with his other arm to take the mirror in both of his hands.

Maybe, maybe, underneath all of this, underneath his anger and years of holding it in, there's a whole new, entirely different picture. And he can unravel everything that's been covering it. Thread by thread.

And with that, Leo makes a promise to himself. Just one:

He can do better.

Now, there's nothing left for him but difficult conversations – like walking a tightrope with only the promise of some vague, uncertain reward on the other side.

He tells himself not to look down.

And he starts at the very beginning. The closest to his solid ground.

***

He doesn't call before he arrives, but Draxum doesn't seem particularly bothered by his presence.

If anything, he seems a little distracted, only nodding slightly in a vague greeting. Leo wonders if his strange mood means that he's finally made peace with his youngest son, or just the opposite.

The door to Donnie's lab is closed, cold under his fingers when he lifts his hand to knock. He glances down the hall out of the corner of his eye, toward Mikey's home-brewed art studio.

Mikey probably already knows he's here, because he always does. Right now, Leo feels a bit more put off by it than usual. His brother will know if he chickens out, and he will never let him live it down.

Hearing the familiar creak of metal, Leo pulls that thought right into the back of his mind.

Donnie doesn't seem particularly surprised he's here. He doesn't seem particularly well-rested either, judging by the strong shadows under his eyes.

“Hey,” Leo says. It feels like he's pulling at his own teeth.

Donnie doesn't answer, but moves to the side, letting him in.

“I heard a lot of thing about you yesterday,” he says as soon as the door closes behind them.

Leo grimaces.

He's not wearing his hoodie, or anything with pockets for that matter, which he quickly begins to regret, mostly due to the sudden need to occupy his hands. He reaches for his mask, twirling the ends around his fingers.

“I can imagine,” he says, and it comes out a little quieter than he wanted it to.

Donnie raises his hand, counting down on his fingers.

“That you're an idiot, a moron, an egocentric-”

“You know,” Leo interrupts, his face flushed and hot, “I don't think Usagi would want you to repeat that to me.”

“Oh, no.” Donnie lowers his hand. “That was all from Mikey.”

“Ah.”

Donnie doesn't sound angry, or even particularly annoyed, which quickly fills Leo with a wave of relief. But there's something etched onto his face, something harsh and impossible to decipher.

Leo can't blame him for that.

He's not sure what explanation Usagi gave him, if any. He's not sure he wants to know.

Usagi was Donnie's friend before Leo even became a real person and forcing him to choose sides like this seems as cruel as it is useless.

“I'm sorry,” he says. Out of everyone, with Donnie those words always seemed to come out easiest. “I didn't want to put you on the spot like that.”

For a moment, Donnie looks at him carefully, like he's trying to gauge his sincerity. The fact that he even suspects Leo might lie to him about something so important sticks into his memory like a needle. Even if it's fully deserved.

“I think I'm the only one here who doesn't deserve an apology.”

Donnie walks past him, turning back to his seat at the desk. The chair creaks slightly under the weight of his shell. He nods to the other chair in the room, pushed close to the wall.

Leo doesn't take it, resting his hip awkwardly on the edge of the desk. He feels like he's halfway up a hill, unsure if he'll be able to get back up if he sits down now.

The chair also looks awkwardly close to collapsing in on itself, which he hopes is a good enough excuse.

“What even happened?” Donnie asks.

“Did Usagi...” He hesitates for a moment, looking for the right words and not finding any. “Tell you anything?”

“You just told me not to repeat what he said.”

Leo presses his lips together; looks away.

“It's my fault.” He shifts, leaning his shell against the edge of the desk, discreetly avoiding his brother's gaze. “I was pissed off when you and Raph went to badmouth me, I had a fight with Mikey, and then I said something stupid. It doesn't matter.” He tilts his head back, sighing quietly. “I was just being an idiot.”

“Well.” Donnie rests his elbow on the desk, burying his cheek in his hand. “Nothing new about that.”

Leo looks at him then, and he's not sure what the expression shows on his face, but it must be something deeply unhappy, because Donnie raises his hands in a defensive gesture, suddenly panicked.

“It was a joke! You-” He trails off, lowering his hands.

Leo wonders how he plans to end this.

You're not like that. You didn't mean it. Neither is true.

“I know you don't want to be like this.”

And not so long ago, maybe that would've been a lie, too.

Leo holds his hands together, close to his chest, feeling the tips of claws pressing against the thin skin of his cuticles.

“Yeah,” he says, not even convincing himself.

Donnie tilts his head, watching him with something soaked in sympathy and pity, and Leo supposes he can't blame him. Especially since when he blinks, he's surprised to find that the diagrams and charts hanging on the wall in front of him seem a little more blurred than they had been a moment ago.

He raises his arm, wiping at his cheek, his eyes with his hand.

Donnie, without any hesitation, reaches out, wrapping his fingers around his other wrist.

Leo can feel his heart in his chest, rhythm steady and grounding.

For a moment he wonders how someone he's tried so hard to hide all the worst parts of himself from, still has managed to see right through him.

A small but particularly intrusive part of his mind quickly suggests that it's always been obvious. That there's no 'worst' part of him, that everything he is has long since become obvious – in plain sight.

The larger part, the part that's known and loved his brother his whole life, knows that he'd never be able to hide anything like that from him.

If Donnie's life was a stage, Leo's always sat in the front row. He just never thought that from that close, the spotlight would shine on him, too.

For a moment he wonders how much Donnie knows. More than he's acknowledging, probably. He wonders if he knows about what happened at the hospital. He hopes not, and he'd rather not ask.

Donnie squeezes his wrist once, twice.

“But just to be clear,” he says, a little quieter, in a lighter tone, “we weren't talking about you then. Me and Raph.”

Leo sniffles.

“No?”

Donnie raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Sometimes we want to talk about something other than just you two idiots, you know?”

Leo blinks. He raises his free hand, pressing his fingers to his forehead.

“Jesus. Mikey was right,” he gasps. “I really do have an ego.”

Donnie raises his other eyebrow.

“Really?”

But there's a familiar, almost amused look on his face now. He moves his hand, giving Leo's palm one last squeeze before he pulls it back, sinking into his chair with a loud sigh.

“Sorry I ruined your trip,” Leo adds.

“It's okay,” Donnie says, sounding surprisingly sincere. And then, almost shyly: “Kendra wanted to go.”

That piques his curiosity.

“Oh?” He straightens up a bit, wiping at his eyes one last time with the back of his hand. “How is she?” He smiles, trying to keep his tone as light as possible. “Does she know you have a shell yet?”

He's both grateful for the change of subject and genuinely interested. Kendra still belongs to his brother's biggest, most private secrets – too fresh and new to tear away from the depths of his heart.

And Leo isn't nosy, no matter what Mikey has to say about it.

Donnie's face takes on a strange expression, like he knows he's being made fun of but isn't sure if he should care.

“Yeah, actually.” He shrugs. “I told her.”

Leo blinks.

He turns, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the edge of the desk so he can look at his brother more closely.

“What? When?”

“Literally just the other day.”

He sounds sincere, and the short time frame gives him a perfectly logical excuse. Still, Leo wonders if Donnie is only mentioning it now because of whatever is happening between him and Usagi.

He hopes not. That would only make him feel worse.

“And? How did it go?”

Donnie sucks on his teeth, looking up like he has to think about it for a moment.

“Good? She didn’t care. I guess.” He frowns, tilting his head. “Well, she didn't really say anything, but she did kiss me, so I assumed-”

“What?”

It takes a second.

One moment, Leo's leaning against the desk, the hard wood digging into his elbow. The next, he's throwing his legs around the back of the other chair, resting his chin on his crossed arms, shifting closer on the squeaky wheels.

“Dude,” he says, close to a whisper. “And you’re only telling me this now?”

Donnie clenches his fists, fingers drumming against his thighs. But there’s something equally flustered and giddy on his face, like this is a secret he’s been wanting to share for a long time.

It's an infectious sort of joy, and Leo can't help the smile that stretches over his teeth.

“Yeah, I guess,” Donnie laughs a little, shrugging.

Leo's chest feels just a little lighter than when he first came in.

He shifts, resting his cheek on his crossed arms.

“Tell me everything.”

[play-me-a-durge]

Head Like a Hole

Down By the River

While working your way back out of the ruin, you do end up navigating some traps, but Astarion disarms them with a self-assured flair that he nonetheless clearly has earned. Now that will be a very useful skill. But alas, the effort is hardly rewarded. In the end, you return to the grove with a sizeable load of random bauble and trash that nets you some displeasure from the traders but just enough value to get your company some fresh gear.

What little euphoria you had clawed from those bloody corpses is already fading, leaving your itch as strong as ever, your hands shaking and your head thick. You need some quiet, somewhere safe but secluded where you can focus. The song of the river draws you down, you do feel lighter as you approach, like a caress on your mind. Everything is going to be alright.

You had gotten far enough ahead of your companions that they are nowhere to be seen when a figure materializes before you. Poised, fashionable, pompous. Every instinct rises like the hair on a cat. You try to ignore his words, see past them and focus on his demeanor, to discern truth among the misdirections and cryptic phrases. You do not play along with his act and he feigns concern for your mental state.

As suddenly as he appeared before you, you now find yourself in new surroundings - a grand dining hall with a laden table and lavish furnishings. You are in no mood for games but you recognize you are powerless in this instance, which does not improve your mood.

"Are these theatrics leading somewhere?"

The devil at last reveals himself. A savior? That is the least certain of those options. To even think of fighting him is foolish, you are nowhere near strong enough. But you also don't want to know what it is he wants of you - or perhaps, it's not what he wants of you but of who you were. That is the wild card that keeps stealing your chances.

But what he wants is not forthcoming. If it was merely your soul you don't feel it would be much to part with, but there is more hiding behind what he does not say.

"You're mad if you think I'll make a deal with a devil."

You recognize he is offering to remove the infection, but still lets no hint of his desired payment slip. That, perhaps, is the most concerning part. Your patience snaps at last, and you let yourself enjoy the image of ripping out his tongue and eating it, of doing far worse things to the rest of his body. It's unfortunate you both know you're in no position to carry out this threat.

When he returns you, it seems as if no time has passed at all. You see your companions only just now reaching you at the spot you disappeared. You say nothing until you return to camp so you only have to say it once. Relaying that tale is not the highlight of your day.

Nor is that the only thing at camp that proves interesting. The Undead has found you - as he promised - and offers you aid should you need it. You decline.

That evening you slip away from your companions to sit contemplative at the river's edge. it glitters silver and black in the moonlight, cradled by the land which ushers it peacefully along its inexorable journey. Not one drop has the power to alter its own course, to resist its path and flow to some other end. Unless it be drawn out by another's hand, its fate is sealed.

So easily it slips through your fingers, briefly interrupted but ultimately undeterred. You lift a handful, drops landing aimlessly, lost to the rocky shore. It feels cool against your face, washing away grime and blood.

Whose hand was it that dipped into fate's river and drew you out? To which end did it once flow? Have you the freedom to choose what to do with this chance, or will you merely return to your river and drown in it?

There is a will greater than your own at work, a hand from which you dangle like a puppet. Actions you did not intend, thoughts moving you without awareness, and that insatiable hunger driving it all.

Who were you? Who are you? Perhaps most uncertain is: who do you want to be? Which of these myriad thoughts are your own? Do you accept your place as slave to your past, or do you fight with every fiber to be master of your own self? Do you hunt down the one who caused this for vengeance, or should you be thanking them for this second chance?

The tadpole, the devil, the gaping hole of your past: unanswerable questions swirl in your mind as bile churns your innards, and sleep offers little rest from your struggle; but between bloodied dreams you manage to slip into oblivion for a few hours.

[dineshblogsimr]

Silicon Carbide Nanowire Market Global Outlook and Forecast 2025-2032

Global Silicon Carbide Nanowire Market is experiencing significant technological adoption, with its valuation reaching USD 36 million in 2023. Industry analysis projects steady expansion at a 4.80% CAGR, anticipating market growth to USD 49.98 million by 2030. This progression stems from accelerating demand for high-performance nanomaterials across electronics, energy, and aerospace sectors, where SiC nanowires demonstrate unparalleled thermal conductivity and mechanical strength.

Silicon carbide nanowires (SiC NWs) represent a breakthrough in material science, combining semiconductor properties with nanoscale structural advantages. Their application spans cutting-edge fields like quantum dot displays, next-gen power electronics, and thermal management systems for spacecraft. Recent advancements in vapor-liquid-solid (VLS) synthesis techniques have enhanced production scalability, though cost barriers remain a significant industry challenge.

Download FREE Sample Report: https://www.24chemicalresearch.com/download-sample/286161/global-silicon-carbide-nanowire-market-2025-2032-248

Market Overview & Regional Analysis

The Asia-Pacific region commands a dominant position in SiC nanowire production, primarily driven by semiconductor manufacturing clusters in China's Yangtze River Delta and Japan's Kyushu region. China's substantial investments in third-generation semiconductor materials under its 14th Five-Year Plan have particularly accelerated commercialization efforts. Meanwhile, South Korea's display industry increasingly incorporates SiC nanowires in flexible electronics, leveraging their bend tolerance and thermal dissipation properties.

North America maintains a strong innovation pipeline, with multiple Department of Energy-funded projects developing SiC nanowire-based battery anodes and nuclear fuel cladding materials. Europe's market thrives through aerospace applications, where Airbus and ESA utilize these materials for radiation-hardened satellite components. Emerging economies in Southeast Asia show growing potential, though technological and infrastructure limitations currently constrain market penetration.

Key Market Drivers and Opportunities

Several converging factors propel market expansion: The global semiconductor shortage has intensified R&D into alternative materials like SiC NWs for power devices. Approximately 68% of current demand stems from high-frequency and high-temperature electronic applications. The renewable energy sector presents substantial growth avenues, particularly in photovoltaic systems where SiC nanowires enhance solar cell efficiency through advanced light-trapping technologies.

Opportunities abound in medical device innovation, where SiC's biocompatibility enables new implantable sensor technologies. The materials' exceptional hardness (9.5 Mohs scale) also drives adoption in industrial cutting tools and wear-resistant coatings. Emerging 5G infrastructure requirements further stimulate demand for SiC-based RF components capable of operating at millimeter wave frequencies.

Challenges & Restraints

While promising, the market faces several hurdles: Production complexities involving high-temperature CVD processes result in manufacturing costs 3-5 times higher than conventional nanomaterials. Quality control remains challenging due to strict diameter uniformity requirements for electronic applications. Environmental concerns emerge from precursor materials like silane gas, prompting regulatory scrutiny in multiple jurisdictions.

Additional constraints include limited commercial-scale production facilities and intellectual property concentration among a few key players. The materials' novel nature also creates standardization challenges, with industry groups still developing measurement protocols for key performance metrics. Supply chain vulnerabilities, particularly for high-purity silicon precursors, add further market uncertainty.

Market Segmentation by Type

β-Silicon Carbide Nanowires

α-Silicon Carbide Nanowires

Download FREE Sample Report: https://www.24chemicalresearch.com/download-sample/286161/global-silicon-carbide-nanowire-market-2025-2032-248

Market Segmentation by Application

Field Emission Displays

Nanoelectronics

Composites

Sensors

Market Segmentation and Key Players

Nanostructured & Amorphous Materials, Inc.

American Elements

Xiamen Powerway Advanced Material Co., Ltd.

Stanford Advanced Materials

Haydale Technologies

US Research Nanomaterials, Inc.

XFNANO Materials Tech

NanoAmor

ACS Material

EMFUTUR Technologies

Report Scope

This comprehensive market analysis provides detailed insights into the global Silicon Carbide Nanowire industry, with coverage spanning technological developments, market trends, and competitive dynamics from 2024 through 2032. The report delivers critical analysis across multiple dimensions:

Market sizing and growth projections across major geographic regions

Technology lifecycle assessment for key nanowire synthesis methods

Value chain analysis from raw materials to end-use applications

In-depth competitive intelligence includes:

Company profiles with production capacity and technological capabilities

Product benchmarking and patent landscape analysis

Strategic initiatives including partnerships and R&D collaborations

Financial performance metrics and market share analysis

The study incorporates extensive primary research with:

Interviews with 50+ industry experts and technology developers

Analysis of 120+ commercial and experimental applications

Evaluation of regulatory impacts across global markets

Scenario analysis for emerging application verticals

Get Full Report Here: https://www.24chemicalresearch.com/reports/286161/global-silicon-carbide-nanowire-market-2025-2032-248

About 24chemicalresearch

Founded in 2015, 24chemicalresearch has rapidly established itself as a leader in chemical market intelligence, serving clients including over 30 Fortune 500 companies. We provide data-driven insights through rigorous research methodologies, addressing key industry factors such as government policy, emerging technologies, and competitive landscapes.

Plant-level capacity tracking

Real-time price monitoring

Techno-economic feasibility studies

With a dedicated team of researchers possessing over a decade of experience, we focus on delivering actionable, timely, and high-quality reports to help clients achieve their strategic goals. Our mission is to be the most trusted resource for market insights in the chemical and materials industries.

International: +1(332) 2424 294 | Asia: +91 9169162030

Website: https://www.24chemicalresearch.com/

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[karmakrafts]

Embrace Taurus Horoscope Tomorrow: Predictions Await

The world of astrology offers a fascinating glimpse into the possibilities of our future, and for those born under the Taurus sign, the predictions are often insightful and enlightening. If you're a Taurus, you know that your sign is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and harmony, which influences much of your character. Taurus individuals are known for their grounded nature, unwavering determination, and love for comfort and security. But how do the stars align for you in the coming days? What can the universe reveal about what’s to come in your journey? Let’s take a look at the Taurus horoscope tomorrow and beyond to explore what the future might hold for you.

What’s in Store for Taurus Tomorrow?

Looking ahead to the Taurus horoscope, you may find that your focus is directed toward personal growth and building a secure foundation for the future. This could manifest in various aspects of your life, from your career to your relationships. Your strong work ethic will likely pay off, as you are known for your perseverance and dedication. If you've been working on a project or pursuing a goal, you may begin to see signs of progress and success. Keep pushing forward with the same determination you’re known for, and the results will follow.

In your personal life, the horoscope suggests that you may be drawn to nurturing your closest relationships. This could be a time to deepen your connections with loved ones, whether that means spending quality time with family or strengthening your romantic partnerships.

The Influence of Venus on Taurus

Taurus is an earth sign, and those born under this sign are typically practical, loyal, and determined. You��re often focused on creating stability in your life, whether that’s in your career, relationships, or personal growth. As the second sign of the zodiac, Taurus is also known for its appreciation of beauty and the finer things in life. You are drawn to aesthetics, whether in your environment, your possessions, or in your relationships.

Venus, the planet of love, governs your sign, and its influence often brings a desire for comfort and pleasure. You seek balance and peace, and your sense of security is incredibly important to you.

Opportunities for Growth and Transformation

The Taurus horoscope suggests that this period could bring valuable lessons about change and adaptability. While Taurus is a sign known for its preference for stability, the stars are encouraging you to embrace new opportunities and experiences. This could be an ideal time to consider stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something different. Whether it’s a new project at work, a hobby you’ve always wanted to explore, or even a new approach to your personal life, the universe is urging you to be open to growth and transformation.

You may also experience moments of introspection, where you feel compelled to reassess your life and your long-term goals. This period of reflection can offer you valuable insights into what truly matters to you and what you want to focus on moving forward.

Navigating Challenges with Patience

Even though the stars may align in your favor, challenges are still a natural part of life. The horoscope suggests that while obstacles may arise, your natural patience and determination will serve you well. You have the ability to face difficulties with a calm and steady approach, which helps you find solutions to problems without letting stress or frustration take over.

It’s important to remember that while you may encounter setbacks, your strength lies in your ability to remain grounded and focused on your goals. Patience is key, and if you take the time to carefully assess your options and make thoughtful decisions, you will navigate any challenges with ease.

Trusting the Journey Ahead

As you look to the future, the Taurus horoscope encourages you to trust in the journey that lies ahead. You may feel a sense of anticipation or uncertainty about what’s to come but remember that the universe is always working in your favor. Your natural ability to stay steady and focused, paired with your desire for growth, will guide you through any challenges that arise.

The horoscope for Taurus tomorrow highlights the importance of embracing change while maintaining the core values that define who you are. You may not have control over everything that happens in your life, but by staying true to yourself and your goals, you will continue to move forward in a way that brings you fulfillment and success.

You can also watch: Aries, Taurus, Gemini waalon, kya aap apne lucky number ka magic dekhna chahte hain?

Conclusion: Embrace the Future with Confidence

The Taurus horoscope tomorrow brings promising opportunities for growth, self-care, and deepening relationships. By trusting your instincts and remaining grounded in your determination, you can navigate the challenges that arise and continue to build the life you desire. Embrace the journey ahead with confidence, knowing that your strength and patience will guide you to where you are meant to be. The future is full of potential, and as a Taurus, you have all the tools you need to succeed. Stay true to yourself and embrace the possibilities that await you.

[colorsinautumn]

the way good things happened to me.

[volleychumps]

if you write for ushijima (if you don’t just ignore this lol) could you do one where he’s afraid he’s too boring or not affectionate for his s/o but they reassure him they love him how he’s is

My first Wakatoshi!!!<3 he’s one of my favorites he doesn’t get enough love tbh:(

Must I Prove It, Then? (Ushijima x reader)

Words: 1560

Warnings: None 

------------------------------

“Tendou Satori you better share your Cheerios with Semi or else. Can we maintain peace on the bus this time? Please?” 

“Hand it over, loser.”

“Pry them from my cold dead hands.” 

You sigh as you do another headcount, your boyfriend standing behind you in a guard-like manner without really meaning to, your position as both his manager and girlfriend lacking any solid boundary between the two. 

Ushijima blinks when Goshiki offers to carry your bags to the bus for you, blinking a second time when you accept with a thankful smile, ruffling his hair afterwards. 

“Thank you Goshiki-Kun!” 

“Anything for you, Y/N-senpai!” 

“Since when are you close with our first year?” Ushijima’s deep voice makes you jump a little, mostly because you weren’t used to hearing it that often, as you watch Goshiki easily haul both of your overnight bags into the bus. 

You shrug, smiling a little before pecking his chiseled jaw from your height, voice teasing as you start to follow Tendou and his shit-eating grin. 

“It’s not like you were going to offer, were you?” Your voice was light and joking as you boarded, motioning for Ushijima to follow, but he doesn’t. Not yet anyway, seeming to be rooted to his place in the pavement as realization dawns onto the stoic boy. 

Was he...not enough for you? 

“Oi. We can’t exactly get to the prelims without your famous ass, right?” Tendou calls from the window, causing you and many other team members to share a facepalm at the lack of the redhead’s filter. Ushijima jogs to climb on, taking his seat next to you as you slap your forehead, forgetting something. 

“Hey, love? Mind swapping seats with me so I can go over the plays with Goshiki just to make sure he knows them?” 

You scratch the back of your head at his responding head tilt, making you hold back your gush at how adorable that was. 

“I’ll still be here next to you! Besides, you like sleeping while you can to make sure you’re all rested, right?” 

Ushijima shuffles out of his aisle seat to sit in the window one when you emerge, Tendou instigating unrealistic drama as you flip him off, high-fiving Semi afterwards. 

“Did the power-couple have a fight? Should I come up and help you lovebirds couple counsel?” 

“You’re sitting in the back all by yourself. Take a wild guess on why you’re single.” 

Ushijima watches as you laugh along with a smirking Semi, looking down at your intertwined hands as he strokes his thumb against your knuckle. 

Had he...ever been able to make you laugh like that? 

Wakatoshi hardly slept a wink the whole ride there, thoughts for once, spinning with something other than volleyball. 

-------------------------

“Y/N-senpai-!” 

“I’ll bring her bags.” 

The chilly atmosphere settled over the team as Tendou over-dramatically shivers, and you bring a hand up to your neck, frowning at the off-aura of your boyfriend. Goshiki remained frozen in place as Ushijima plucks them from his grasp, wondering if this was his last night to live as he watches his captain enter the inn first.

“Tendou, did you piss in his cheerios?” Semi mutters as you flick his ear, irritated as you motion for the team to hurry up and follow in suit to their captain to enter the inn, Semi rubbing his ear in irritation as the team files in. 

“Quiet doesn’t equate to scary, people. Get a move on, and don’t talk bad about your captain.” 

“You mean your lover?” 

“Tendou, I’ll forbid any and all snacks on the bus-” 

“Awh~” 

Dinner was quite an experience. You sweatdrop at the large pile of protein on your plate as Ushijima eats one piece of meat, putting two on your plate for every one he eats as you try to stop him from doing so, a blushing mess. 

“Wakatoshi, you usually eat like a race horse. You have to keep your strength up for your performance tomorrow.” The team advisor says worriedly, adjusting his glasses as Ushijima shrugs, continuing his actions as you put a hand on his arm gently. 

“Please eat until you’re satisfied. Okay?” 

“Booooo Y/N’s trying to sabotage us-” 

“Strike two, Satori!” 

“Ohhhh shit she pulled out your real name.” Semi snickers alongside Goshiki as the rehead wilts. Meanwhile, you watch as Ushijima nods once, not talking at all as you arch a brow. Even if he didn’t talk much, he still typically made small talk at meals with you, cracking a smile now and then at something you said. 

Something was definitely up. 

After dinner, you washed up after ensuring that Shirabu and Semi would keep the rowdiness to a minimum in their shared rooms, walking down the hall to your own singular room to see Ushijima standing in front of it. You continue to dry your hair as you slip your key card in, startling him slightly as you open your door, offering him a small smile gently. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Can’t I...say goodnight to you?” 

You blink, previous suspicious confirmed as you pull the tall boy into your room by his arm, making sure the hallways were empty as you did so. You cross your arms, ignoring the foreign look of surprise that crosses the captain’s face as he now stands in the middle of your hotel room. 

“Alright.” You start softly, slinging the damp towel on a nearby chair. “What’s up?” 

His head tilts again. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re acting strange. And that’s not good.” You approach him, sitting down on the edge of your bed before motioning for him to sit. Ushijima sits down with a fridgidness in his movements as you begin to pull your hair up. 

Do you not see him as a man? Why would you just let him into your-?

“I don’t like it.” your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Ushijima lifts his head slightly to look over at your eyes downcast at your twiddling thumbs. “You seem...different. Like you’re trying to force yourself to be something you’re not.”

His chest twinges when you lift your head, the saddest expression he’s ever seen crossing the beautiful features he loved so much. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Your voice cracks, and so does Ushijima’s wall he had built around his feelings. 

“No.” 

“Then what?” You urge softly, and Ushijima carefully takes one of your hands in both of his, pulling it into his lap as he breathes in a shaky sigh. A sigh that was unusual for the usual confident, number one spiker in the nation. 

“I...feel like you deserve better.” Your silence makes him continue, his thumbs stroking your hand as you listen intently. “I’m boring, aren’t I? Tendou’s an idiot, but he can make you laugh. Goshiki is innocent, but he’s still more affectionate than me. Even Semi...it seems like he’s more trustworthy to you.” 

His hands tighten around yours. “Don’t you ever think that?” 

Your free hand moves to cup Ushijima’s jaw, lifting it from its’ downcast position as his usual fierce gaze was now brimmed with insecurity and uncertainess. 

“Never. Those thoughts never cross my mind.” You say, feeling Ushijima relax into your palm, eyes closing as you swallow, continuing your rare heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. 

“I love you, Wakatoshi. No one else. I love how your secretly protective of me, without even realizing you’re doing it. You do it because you care. I love how you always make sure to text me every night even though we see each other almost every day. Even if you’re quiet, I can still feel how much you care through your actions.” You ramble, eyes determined to make your boyfriend feel loved. 

“But do you know what I love the most?” 

Ushijima’s prompting stare makes you smile widely, kissing his cheek. 

“Everything. The whole thing, and all your little quirks. It’s you, okay?” You breathe out a shaky sigh as Ushijima’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“It’s always been you.” 

“Y/N.” Ushijima digs his face into the crook of your neck as you smile over his shoulder. “I...feel the same.” 

You laugh at his aloofness, pulling back slightly to brush your nose with his. “Care to show me?” 

His lips press brush againast yours before you feel him pull back, standing abruptly. 

“I really shouldn’t um, be here.” 

You grin at his flustered expression, pulling him back down with a wink. “I know you’re a rule follower, love, but maybe...” You look away, biting your lip. “You can stay with me tonight? Just to uh...cuddle?” 

Ushijima blinks, and you’re worried he’s crashed before he nods curtly, and you laugh excitedly before climbing into bed, feeling his weight dip into the other side of the bed. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

You blush, feeling Ushijima pull you close with one arm as the other pulls the lampstring, smiling when he starts with kisses on your cheek, peppering kisses until his lips brush yours.

“I thought you’d never ask, love.” 

As he does so, hearts hammering in both your chests, you realize this is the best night of your life with the words he whispers against yours lips. 

“I love you.” 

[sp-ud]

I was thinking about your posts/anons earlier, and now I’m genuinely wondering the dream smp would benefit from an official hiatus. Like not necessarily banning cc from streaming on it, just taking a break from all lore to get their shit together, figure out cohesive plans and how they want to proceed, actually communicating, and then coming back full force with new/better content and communication. At the moment it feels like we have an unofficial hiatus (especially considering Ranboo and Tubbo who usually still stream are doing other stuff rn) so I wonder if making it official might help themselves and to manage fan expectations.

yeah like. instead of this uncertainess about whats going on behind the scenes and if stuff is going on behind the scenes, we get some assurance that stuff is going on and that it will come back, but rn its gonna be pretty chill.

[newsfundastuff]

President Donald Trump’s phone call with Taliban leaders last week was profound and unprecedented in the long timeline that makes up America’s longest war. For some in American national security and diplomatic circles, it was a climax in a frustrating, years-long peace process. For others, it was also a worrisome event—not because of what Trump said but because of who, exactly, he spoke with. Some of the Taliban leaders on the other end of the line were also on secret U.S. kill-or-capture lists. The commander in chief was chatting with people his government officially still wanted jailed or dead, two Defense Department sources told The Daily Beast.Of course, any peace initiative is going to require talking with one’s enemies—and this call was no exception. But some U.S. defense officials insisted that this was a step too far, and a sign of what they see as a slapdash approach to ending America’s involvement in the Afghan conflict.It’s the latest indication that Trump, who has long wanted out of Afghanistan, is far apart from the Pentagon on how to wind down the U.S. military’s longest foreign war. Military anxieties are understandable. The U.S. is, for the first time, taking a gamble on negotiating an endgame with an enemy it doesn’t trust and which has all the leverage in the negotiations. A pre-deal ceasefire already broke down on Wednesday, five days after the deal was unveiled, when the U.S. bombed a Taliban position in Helmand to disrupt an attack by the militant group on a checkpoint run by Afghan security forces. NBC News reported late last week that there is “persuasive intelligence” that the Taliban has no intention of abiding by the deal. But military concerns go beyond whether the other side in the conflict is trustworthy; there are also concerns about the American side of the equation. Four Trump administration officials, two who are generally supportive of the plan for pulling out troops and two who aren’t—the withdrawals began on Monday—told The Daily Beast that the administration did not have a clear plan for doing so. The call is just one indicator among many. “It’s ground-shaking that the president spoke to individuals on a target list,” said a senior Defense Department official. “It was a big give from our side, towards an adversary that traditionally has never held up their side of the bargain in numerous other attempts towards de-escalation and peace. We made a group that lacks absolute operational control over their forces a legitimate player on the world stage.”The target lists, known as Joint Priority Engagement Lists, are said to be held by the Central Intelligence Agency and the U.S. military’s elite Joint Special Operations Command, according to two U.S. Defense Department sources who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to disclose such matters. U.S. military and intelligence officials The Daily Beast spoke to said that whenever they receive information through any kind of intelligence, the information is forwarded on to the agency that controls the list for further analysis. If the information is found credible, then someone like Amir Khan Muttaqi, who listened in on the call with Trump and who was wounded in a July 2018 airstrike in the Ghazni province of Afghanistan, could have several military or intelligence operations built around them for their ultimate capture or death. The Central Intelligence Agency referred questions to the National Security Council, which did not respond. The White House also did not respond.  The Pentagon did not return requests for comment, but after this story published, provided a statement: “After 18 years of war it is clear that peace in Afghanistan will not come through military means. It will come when Afghans come to the table to talk with one another and decide their future together.”Trump praised the phone call he had with Mullah Adbul Ghani Baradar—who is also on one of the targeting lists. Baradar, who was formerly held in a Pakistani prison, is a co-founder of the Taliban and the head of its political office in Qatar. “We had a very good conversation with the leader of the Taliban today, and they’re looking to get this ended, and we’re looking to get it ended. I think we all have a very common interest,” said Trump. “We had, actually, a very good talk with the leader of the Taliban.” Trump is said to be planning a meeting with Taliban leaders in the near future, an intention the president promised at the White House this past Saturday, but no date has been set. In September, Trump canceled a planned meeting with Taliban leaders at Camp David after a string of bombings that killed multiple Afghan people and an American soldier. “What he doesn’t understand is that the president’s decision to speak directly to Mullah Baradar and other senior Taliban political leaders was seen by the Taliban as a form of legitimization,” said Thomas Joscelyn, a senior editor of the Long War Journal, a project under the Foundation for Defense of Democracies. “It raises their so-called Islamic emirate to the status of a political peer of the United States. And the Taliban trumpeted this phone call all across their media in multiple languages, specifically for that purpose.” Annie Pforzheimer—a former deputy chief of mission in Kabul, now with the Center for Strategic and International Studies—agreed. “It’s close and it is more than I think the Taliban deserve,” said Pforzheimer. Of course, there are “people”—often, very dangerous people—“you must deal with in order to end the violence.” But those people don’t have to get access to the commander in chief. “That’s something where you could hold your president and your secretary in reserve [during negotiations], for a later point when more has been achieved… It’s a tool that a negotiator, in my opinion, should have been allowed to leave for much later in the process.” Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill, lawmakers have openly questioned the administration’s deal, calling for increased transparency into discussions that led to the agreement. Two sources on the Hill told The Daily Beast that lawmakers are interested in scrutinizing communications, including those between the State Department and White House, about the agreement. The State Department did not respond to requests for comment from The Daily Beast before publication. Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) wrote on Twitter late Monday: “I got a classified briefing today on the agreement with the Taliban. I have been a supporter of negotiations with the Taliban, but the more I learn, the more concerned I become that Trump got fleeced. ... The Taliban's security guarantees are so vague as to be effectively void.”Rep. Eliot Engel (D-NY), chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, and Sen. Jim Risch (R-ID), the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, are preparing to hold hearings on the agreement. It is not yet clear exactly what the two committees will focus on. Some lawmakers who this week studied the classified annexes to the deal walked away from the review worried about the agreement and the administration’s ability to enforce the deal.Rep. Liz Cheney, one of the top Republicans in the House, said in a statement Feb. 29 that the deal “includes concessions that could threaten the security of the United States.” In a hearing Tuesday, Cheney said the annexes did not detail mechanisms that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said would be included in the deal. Pompeo has previously said the agreement would include a mechanism to ensure that the Taliban upheld its end of the deal and that the group would renounce al Qaeda. “What we have seen with this agreement now concerns me as much as the Iranian nuclear deal did, now that I have seen the documents and now that there seems to be still no verification mechanism by which we are going to enforce any of the so-called Taliban promises,” Cheney said. But with the November presidential election looming, it’s no surprise that the president has been such a public booster of the deal. For Trump, it’s an objective that he holds as a highly political conviction. For at least the past two years, the president has regularly told, or angrily demanded of administration officials that he wants “the hell out” of Afghanistan before the end of his first term, according to those close to Trump. In the time since the Taliban deal was publicly announced, the president has repeatedly told close advisers, at times using the same phrasing, he wants it “done before November”—a clear reference to Election Day and signaling that he wants to run on the accomplishment of ending America’s longest war—two people with direct knowledge tell The Daily Beast.But the agreement signed by the United States and the Taliban on Feb. 29 in Doha, Qatar, has already begun to show signs of buckling in the region as members of the militant group have restarted offensive operations as of last week. Afghan President Ashraf Ghani rejected a provision in the agreement between the United States and the Taliban that calls for the release of 5,000 prisoners, which is a condition for further intra-Afghan negotiations scheduled for March 10 in Oslo, Norway. Pompeo brushed off the Afghan president’s rebuke of the clause on CBS’ Face the Nation: “There have been prisoner releases from both sides before. We’ve managed to figure our path forward.” “Boy, how the tune has changed,” said retired Marine Col. David Lapan, a former Homeland Security and Pentagon spokesman who’s now a Trump administration critic. “This is the same Pompeo who criticized Obama’s administration for swapping five Taliban militants for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. Now we are talking five times a thousand and all of a sudden, it’s OK.” When discussing the potential for the Taliban not honoring the deal or the possible dangers and uncertainty ahead, one of the sources with direct knowledge recalled Trump cutting off a recent conversation on the matter and immediately stressing, among other things, that “the American people, Republicans and Democrats” want U.S. troops out and that “you can look at any poll” and see that.It was unclear to what polling, public or internal, the president was referring. However, according to a source familiar with the matter, a paper that has circulated among the upper ranks of the White House since 2017 consisted of research demonstrating that Trump did better in the 2016 election in areas of the U.S. that suffered higher Iraq and Afghan war casualty rates. The authors of that paper, professors Douglas Kriner and Francis Shen, even wrote in an August 2017 piece for Politico that “for all his lofty rhetoric, Trump might come to regret this decision [to order a troop surge in Afghanistan]. In a recently released research paper… [what] we found was a significant correlation between war casualty rates and Trump votes. In fact, we think three states key to Trump’s victory—Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin—might have swung the other way if they’d had even modestly lower” casualty rates.“The vast majority of the American people—including the majority of veterans of the recent wars—support bringing our troops home from Afghanistan,” said Dan Caldwell, foreign policy campaign manager for Stand Together, a new name for the Koch network’s policy advocacy group. “Withdrawing all our troops is not only good policy, but it is a good political move for President Trump. He should follow through with a withdrawal from Afghanistan even if the Taliban and Afghan government can’t work out a deal.” Read more at The Daily Beast.Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast hereGet our top stories in your inbox every day. Sign up now!Daily Beast Membership: Beast Inside goes deeper on the stories that matter to you. Learn more.

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