#still love this series too much although I feel like I've watched it too many times

[criminalamnesia]

HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3���!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

[pretty-circa006]

Backyard Barbecue pt. 2 of the Summer Break mini series

dadsbsf! Negan x F! Reader x dadsbsf! Rick

summary Rick and Negan are back for the annual backyard barbecue tags pseudo smut?, making out, groping, dry humping, age gap

wc 2.5k

note @a-vampire-bat this one's for you! thank you so much for being patient! i'm so sorry that this took forever and i really hope it doesn't disappoint!! i promise that pt.3 is already in the works!

p.s. be sure to let me know if i missed any warnings, i've gotten a bit rusty haha

*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact! :) *

Out of all her family’s traditions, the annual summer barbecue her father puts on his her favorite. It’s not just the food–although that is one of the highlights–but it’s the atmosphere. A bright sunny day with a backyard full of laughter and people she hasn’t seen in oh so long, her favorites, of course, being Rick and Negan. Before she left for college, she saw Negan quite frequently since he lived nearby, but Rick, she only saw a couple times a year; major holidays, the annual summer barbecue, and whenever he just happened to be in the area. 

“Honey, come down and help me with something real quick,” her mom’s voice calls from downstairs. 

“Coming!” she shouts back. She’s not actually coming, though, she’s looking in the mirror trying to decide if her outfit is sexy enough to catch Rick’s and Negan’s eyes while also being appropriate to wear around the other guests. Maybe just a bikini would catch too many eyes, so she opts for a little, pink, floral sundress instead. It's short enough that she shouldn't bend over while leaving just enough for the imagination. 

“Finally, what took you so long? Never mind, just go open the gate. The guests’ll be here soon,” her mom tells her. 

Feeling giddy, she hurries out the sliding glass door and across the back yard, passing her dad who’s putting charcoal in the grill. As soon as she swings the wooden gate open, she comes face to face with Rick. His bright blue eyes that look even brighter and bluer in the summer sunlight take her in, eyeing her body before forcing their way to her face. 

“Rick! You’re here early.” She jumps into his arms, embracing him as if she didn’t see him last night. He reciprocates and presses a lingering kiss to her temple. 

“Came early to help set up,” he explains without looking away from her. 

The sound of a motorcycle snatches her attention away from Rick and when she realizes that it’s Negan she perks up even more. 

“Looks like Negan’s early, too!” She sidesteps Rick and hurries out to the front to greet Negan. Jealousy bubbles in Rick’s chest as he watches her jump into Negan’s arms, much like she did to him a second ago. But Negan picks her up and spins her around before setting her back down, still keeping an arm wrapped around her. They’re too far away for him to hear what they’re talking about, but seeing Negan make her laugh causes him to clench his jaw and ball his hand into a fist. Negan playfully smacking her ass pushes him over the edge.

“Hey, Negan,” Rick shouts, catching both hers and Negan’s attention. 

“Are you gonna help set up or what?” He doesn’t mean for so much anger to seep into his voice, but seeing Negan touching what’s his pisses him off. 

“I just got here, asshole. Give me a minute!” 

Rick is able to relax a little when she leaves Negan’s side and walks back into the yard, but what he just saw leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆

The backyard's full of guests; family and friends reuniting, children running around splashing in the pool, and the smell of food wafting through the humid air. This is another thing she loves about summer. With all the activity happening, she hadn't been able to check in on Rick or Negan. Having finally finished making fruit salad for the quests, she heads back inside to sit down for a moment. 

"Honey, can you do me a favor?" she hears her mom ask as soon as she sat down. Begrudgingly, she gets up and trudges into the kitchen. 

"Bring these out to Negan while he's still grilling." Her mom dumps a pack of ribs into her arms before going back to whatever busywork she was doing before. Normally she's irritated by these little favors, but since it’s a reason to see Negan, she's happy. Happily, she saunters over to Negan who’s manning the grill in a white t-shirt and shorts, covered by an apron that says ‘kiss the cook’ because of course he has one of those. 

“Hey doll!” Negan greets when she comes into view, his arm open wide for a hug while the other tends to the meat. She melts into the hug, her face pressed into his strong chest as his arm holds her close. He smells mostly of grill smoke and faintly of cologne and it’s hypnotizing. Despite the sweltering weather, she feels cold when he pulls away from the hug. 

“It smells great over here, what’re you makin’? She asks, handing him the package of ribs. 

“You’re smellin’ this barbecue sauce I made,” he dips his index finger into the bowl of sauce and holds it up to her, “Taste it. It is fuckin’ delicious.” This gives her pause, but only momentarily. She leans down, maintaining eye contact with him as she takes his finger into her mouth and sucks the sauce from it. A smirk grows across his face as he watches her, feeling her warm mouth around his finger. 

“Good, huh?” He pridefully questions, taking back his finger. She nods with approval but is barely able to hide the fact that she's flustered. 

"Wanna try it on some ribs?"

"I wanna go swimmin' 'fore I eat!" 

"Better fuckin' hope there's some food left for ya. Nobody can resist my cookin'." 

"Or...," she grabs his hand and holds it in hers, looking up at him with sultry, half-lidded eyes, "you can just wait 'til I'm done to finish cookin' up everything." She bites back a smile when she sees a look in Negan's hazel eyes telling her that he's considering her proposition. 

"Sorry, doll. As much as I'd love to, I can't leave all these other assholes to starve." 

"Fine," she drops his hand and he lets it fall limp against his side, "guess you don't wanna help me pick out a swimsuit." She doesn't wait for a response or reaction and just walks toward the house. Seconds later, she hears his hurried footsteps rushing to catch up to her.  

Another perk of him being her dad's best friend is that nobody seems to bat an eye at the two of them heading toward her bedroom. He sits on her bed like it's second nature and she shuts the door. His elbows are rested on his knees and head resting on his hands. It's almost as if he physically can't tear his eyes away from her as he watches her every move with a growing lust. 

"One piece or bikini?" she asks him, snatching his focus away from her smooth legs. 

"Hmmmm," he shamelessly eyes her body up and down before locking into her eyes, "bikini." 

"Good call," she replies as she makes her way over to her dresser. She doesn't have to look behind her to know that Negan's watching her every move. Being under his scrutinizing gaze isn't uncomfortable, in fact, it makes her feel hot inside, knowing that of everything around them, she's capturing his focus. It makes teasing him irresistible. She seductively bends over to open her bottom drawer, allowing her dress to reveal all of what's underneath to Negan's eager eyes. Without looking, she tosses the garments at him. 

"Okay!" she stands up abruptly and cuts his show short, "which one?" 

He takes a moment to sift through the options and pick his favorite: a bandeau bikini with matching bottoms. 

"I think you'd look so goddamn delicious in...." His mouth goes dry before he can finish his sentence when he looks up and realize she's already naked. 

"Holy shit," he says under his breath. 

She steps in front of him and stands between his legs, her tits almost directly in his face. 

"Help me put it on." 

A dimpled, toothy grin spreads across his face as he grabs her hips and helps her straddle his lap. 

"Why don't we keep it off for a bit?" A gasp cuts off whatever reply popped into her mind upon feeling Negan's large hands slip lower and grip her ass. Unabashedly, he kneads at the soft flesh. She can feel him growing hard beneath the confines of his jeans. 

"What happened to not wanting all the guests to starve?" she teases. 

"There's snacks for a reason." 

She smiles at him, happy that he fell right into her trap. Her not-so-sneaky hands make their way to his belt, eager to free him, to finally feel him. 

"What's the rush, baby, we've got all goddamn day." 

His belt's now undone and she's working on unbuttoning his pants. 

"I've already been waitin' all goddamn day!" 

"That's it? I've been waitin' since I got here last night." 

"Then let's not wait anymore!" 

He lays back again the bed, pulling her with him to lay on top of him. She cups his face in her hand, running her thumb along the prickly hairs of his beard before leaning down and pressing her soft lips to his. Her free hand palms him through his boxers, feeling him twitch beneath her teasing touch. He lets out a guttural groan into her mouth, allowing her to slide her tongue in and kiss him deeper. From behind, he slides a finger along her folds, feeling her wetness. She stops palming him and starts grinding her bare pussy against his clothed erection. 

"Can you feel how badly I missed you?" he asks when she pulls away for a breath. 

"Wanna feel it inside me." 

He flips them over leaving her beneath him on her back and him on top of her. He admires her kiss-swollen lips and lust-darkened eyes: a picture of pure beauty. 

"Anything you want, doll," he promises as he pulls down his boxers. 

A flurry of panicked knocks interrupts things before they could escalate. 

"Honey, have you seen Negan? There's somethin' burnin' on the grill outside and he's nowhere to be seen!" her mom whines from behind the door. Without missing a beat to wait for a reply, her mom tries the doorknob, causing her heart to race. 

"Wait! I'm changing!" she screams. 

"Sorry! I'll just go see if your dad has seen him." 

Negan breathes a sigh of frustration and redresses himself. "I guess this is my sign to get back on the grill. But I fuckin' promise ya, I'll be back to finish what I started." 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆

With a bottle of sunscreen in hand and a dream, she walks over to Rick who's sitting by the pool nursing a beer. Her shadow blocks the sunlight from his face, causing him to look up. His jaw nearly drops when he sees her, which tells her that it's gonna be easy to get him to do what she wants him to. 

"Long time, no see," she greets him as she takes a seat on his lap. Thankfully, they're in the shade and out of the view of any prying eyes. His arms immediately wrap around her and pull her close. He presses a few gentle, lingering kisses on her bare shoulder, making her get all hot and bothered again. 

"Where've you been all day, princess?" he asks. 

Her mind wanders back to minutes ago when she was in her bedroom with Negan about to have sex with him, but Rick doesn't need to know that. She completely ignores the question and hands him the bottle of sunscreen. 

"You'll help me out, won't you?" 

"Of course, darlin'. Wouldn't want you to get a sun burn," he replies as he accepts the bottle. He flips open the cap and squeezes a dollop of the sunscreen in into his palm before rubbing it in. He starts with her shoulders and the back of her neck, massaging her slightly as he rubs in the sunscreen. Her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes into his touch.

"Lay down so I can do your back," he commands softly. They change positions so that she's laying on her stomach in the lawn chair and he's standing above her. His eyes can't help but wander down to her ass. Her bikini bottoms don't leave much to the imagination, yet somehow it's still too much clothing for Rick's taste. He takes a deep breath, a weak attempt to hold himself back from pulling her bottoms to the side and fucking her right there and then. 

"Rick?" she asks, taking a peek at the man behind her. His face is slightly flushed and she can see him getting hard in his pants. 

"Sunscreen, remember?" she taunts as she wiggles her ass at him. 

A gasp unleashes itself from her throat at the unexpected slap Rick plants on her ass. He doesn't stop there. Roughly, he rubs the sunscreen in, his hands occasionally slipping beneath the garment and even between her thighs. His hands disappear for a second as he squirts more sunscreen into his hand. Rick's hands slide up her body as he applies the spf onto her back. She misses the sensation of his big, rough hands groping her ass. 

"Need help with your front, too?" he jokingly asks. He's already squeezing more sunscreen into his hand as if he knows the answer is going to be yes. She sits up in the chair and turns 

to face him. Like he did before, he starts with her neck and shoulders. He runs his thumb along her jugular, feeling how fast her heart's racing. He moves lower and caresses her collar bones, taking his sweet time feeling her up. 

"Riiiick," she whines impatiently. 

"Let me take my time with you, darlin'." He slides his hands down to the tops of her breasts before reaching behind and unclasping her bikini top. Rick gropes and kneads at the soft mounds, causing her to clench her thighs together. Without pulling his hands away, he leans down and captures her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. She briefly wonders if he can taste Negan on her tongue, but quickly pushes the thought away. He pulls away from her mouth, almost as if he also heard that thought, and starts kissing down her neck, his facial hair tickling at her soft skin. Her body tastes like sunscreen, but he doesn't care, he licks and sucks at her skin, intentionally leaving marks as he does so, but her mind is too far gone to care. 

Nearby footsteps snatch both of their attention. 

"Last I saw him, he was by the pool." 

"Shit! It's my dad," she hisses as she fumbles to put her bikini top back on. Rick clumsily helps her out. 

"Maybe that asshole is too scared I'll kick his ass in another poker game," she hears Negan reply. 

Rick lets out a sigh of frustration- whether it's at Negan's comment or the fact he has to leave, she's not sure- and gets up.

"I better go find 'em before they find us." 

She crosses her arms over her now covered chest and pouts at him. He grabs her chin and tilts her head up to look at him. 

"Don't give me that attitude. I promise we'll finish this later, okay baby?" he reassures. She timidly nods and he presses a quick kiss to her lips before running off. 

for those who requested to be tagged @i-yua @tatertati-fangirl @noneofmyshipsarereal @lunajay33 @ricks-dumbdoll @darylssextoy69 @tsukiko26 @everyonelovesava @eternalrose81 @a-vampire-bat

[shhrrroooommmmmyyyyyy]

HB Generational Trauma: Paimon → Stolas

→ Octavia

*Before I get attacked, nothing I say is to defend the actions described. I am simply trying to explain and make sense of it.*

Many fans approach the topic of Stolas being a good or bad father with either black and white-good or bad or completely gray answers. The black and white are pretty straightforward, usually going something like "he says this but does this anyway" or "he's neglectful", which are all valid opinions here. As well as the gray opinions, usually saying "he really tries, he just doesn't get it right".

Honesty, I can't say I disagree with any of these opinions honestly. I don't have evidence to back this up, but I have a feeling I know where the writers are going with this. I think they will, maybe sometime soon after hearing via's line in the trailer, have Stolas sort of "wake up" in a sense and realize what exactly he does. Get hit by the good ol' self awareness train, if you will. It's called character development.

I've seen many people call this bad writing but I disagree. I think that's the direction they're going for Stolas's character development. I think with the episodes so spread out, people forget we're only three episodes away from only being halfway through the series as a whole. There's still plenty of room for development.

Anyways, back on topic. Let's look at Paimon and Stolas from the Circus episode. I love the Loo Loo Land parallel with it.

Paimon enjoying himself from home while Stolas is miserable and clearly doesn't want to be there. The only thing that gets him through it without crashing out is Blitzø. Paimon seems to not notice he's even there at all until he starts enjoying himself watching Blitzø. And when he figures out what's making him so happy, he literally buys Blitzø later to keep himself from having to deal with him all day. Of course Stolas is too oblivious and distracted by Blitzø to realize, but that makes complete sense seeing how oblivious he is as an adult.

So now let's look at Stolas and Octavia in the Loo Loo Land episode.

Stolas is enjoying himself, but actually present. Him actually being there is an improvement; however, Octavia's not enjoying herself. She already didn't want to go because she was too old to enjoy it. And on top of that, Stolas flirting with Blitzø the whole time made her uncomfortable (which he was also too oblivious to realize).

I think the parallels here are interesting. Overall I think the writers ave done an excellent job of writing generational trauma, hence the title of this post. Now let's look at Stolas' line from Western Energy:

This line made a slight change in their dynamic from my perspective. It's clear he loves her and would do anything to protect her. Much different from Paimon. I think he tries so hard to be better than Paimon that he subconsciously ends up doing what Paimon does. This is called the ironic process theory or ironic rebound (psychology nerd here, as you can tell). However, the difference between him and Paimon is that he apologizes and recognizes that he made a mistake. He's trying. And even so, what examples of a good dad would he have had growing up that would've guided him in the right direction?

Although he keeps making mistakes, he is still trying. He's not prefect. I think Via knows this; nevertheless, it's hard for her not to get frustrated at him for making them sometimes. Especially when he promised he would do something with her and didn't in Seeing Stars.

No matter the extremity of the efforts made toward doing so, generational trauma will never be completely healed in one generation (look at me using smart words). While Stolas has made a pretty big dent in the healing process, it takes more than one person to erase the trauma. Although Via is as far as the line will go with her being confirmed asexual, I think Stolas has done a lot more for Via than people realize.

I have a few notes about Blitz and Loona on this topic as well. I might wait till after Ghostfuckers in case it gives more info to put in that post

[stargazedwinchester]

Begin Again | Sam

This one is part of my Taylor’s Version series! View the masterlist here <3

Summary: After leaving a toxic relationship, your facade of a white picket fence life can’t fool the eyes of your friendly neighbor Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Small flashback regarding toxic relationship

This one is a little different from the original Supernatural storyline at the start, Sam does have a white picket fence life and is still a hunter, just in case it's not clear enough in the story :) also part 2 maybe?? let me know!!

"I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does Is break and burn, and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again"

Word count: 1,082

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

“Fuck!” You shout, only just dodging his hit. You see the rage glow in his eyes, your cheeks are flushed maroon and your forehead sweating. “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” he states, his eyes fixated on you. He lunges forward with his fist clenched so hard his knuckles are white.

“No!” you shriek, taking the blow. You try your best to defend yourself but end up staggering into the china cabinet. You cower toward the floor, tensing your arms and legs hoping to be able to cover yourself from any more hurt.

It doesn’t help.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

A few days had gone by at this point and you’re finally allowed outside to go grocery shopping. Carrying the bags from your car, the sun shines lovingly on your face. Birds are chirping. There’s a couple of kids out playing fetch with their dog on the street. Sometimes days like this don’t make you feel any better than the Hell you’re living in. If anything, they help emphasise your insecurities that are made a hell of a lot worse because of that dipshit back home.

You don’t want to go home.

“Hey,” a voice startles you from behind. You turn to the left and see your new neighbour walk down the porch stairs. “Oh, hey Sam.” You greet him, a half-forced smile planted on your face as you squint from the sun.

“How you doing?” He asks, placing his hands on his hips, acting completely naturally. You nod hesitantly. “Yeah, I’m good. You?” Conversations with him are a little awkward for many reasons. He had just moved in last week. He had probably heard what happened the night before and he’s also extremely good-looking. You can’t look him in the eye. It’s too daunting.

“Yeah, uh, I’m sorry to bring it up—“He gets cut off and your boyfriend slams the front door and shouts something over at you. His face reveals that he’s mad and this time you have no idea why. “I’m sorry,” You whisper, “I need to go.” You finish, rushing off and leaving him standing there. His eyes never left you. Sam sighs and turns around to go back inside, keeping his gaze fixed on you to ensure that you make it inside without your boyfriend making a scene.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

It had been a couple of weeks and Sam had tried to talk to you about what he heard that night, but you never brought it up again. Maybe he had a change of heart and thought that if he brought it up, it could cause an issue, or even have upset you. Sometimes bringing things back up isn’t worth the hassle.

You haven’t seen him much, except for this 1967 Chevy Impala that parks outside every other day in the early hours of the morning where you can have a tiny bit of freedom from your everyday life. Window-watching and reading books in the moonlight has been your escape for as long as you can remember. But this time, instead of Sam, and you assume his brother, leaving toward the car, he makes his way over and attempts to peer through your window. Although he can’t see anything, he turns to his brother and says something, pointing back at your window.

Out of pure curiosity and some courage, you attempt to open the window without your boyfriend noticing. You slide it up, turning around to check on him each time. You’re damn lucky he’s a heavy sleeper.

“What are you doing?” You whisper-shout, confused as to what they’re talking about.

“What do you mean? Why are you awake?” He shouts back.

“You’re at my window, pointing at me with this strange man. So tell me, what the hell are you doing?”

The guy who’s with him huffs, shrugging his shoulders. He mutters something to himself and looks offended. “What’s his problem?” you reply, and Sam smirks.

“Strange guy?”

“Yeah?”

“What do I look like, a kidnapper?” He mentions, and it makes you chuckle quietly. “Listen, lady, are you coming down or what? Prince Charming here wants to rescue you from your... palace.” Sam looks at him, eyebrows furrowed. “What?” He questions, his mouth slightly agape, as he just cannot believe his brother outed him like that.

“Just come down, will you? Pack some things.”

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

You had practically moved across the country to live with Sam and his brother, Dean. Sam knew exactly what was happening back home and had made a deal with himself to get you out, even if it killed him.

This morning, the pair of you walk down to a cafe near a motel you’re currently residing in. Whilst ordering, Sam tells you to go find a seat and he’ll bring your drink over. You agree and find a booth in the corner. He brings your drink over and sits opposite you.

His demeanour is calm, yet like he needs to ask you something. You dismiss it though and assume it’s because he��s dealt with a lot within the past few weeks. And so have you.

“Y/N,” he starts, taking a sip of his black coffee. “Can I ask you something?”

“I feel like it’s gonna be a tough question.” You laugh, and Sam smirks. His dimple deepened into his cheek. “What made you want to leave your old life behind? And to just trust me after only knowing me for a month?” He asks, a genuine question you haven’t even thought of answering. You struggle to find an answer, because truly, there’s nothing that comes to mind.

“I mean... you want the truth?” You ask, and he nods. You update him what exactly what happened, who did it and why you thought to just say ‘fuck it’ and have the balls to finally have a chance to escape whether that meant losing your life for it. Sam has been concentrating on you telling your part so much that he looks emotional himself. His eyes are soft and understanding. They’re glossed over as if glazed with icing sugar. You can tell just from his aura he’s a sweet guy. Putting your trust in him seems like the right thing to do.

You both share your childhood trauma and as much as it hurts to bring it back up, you both poke jokes and find a little humour in all of it.

But at least in this little cafe on a random Wednesday morning, this place, this atmosphere, and Sam allows you to begin again.

[dorkynerd23]

Ah, he never changes..Vanitymoth is back with another shitty review and this video proves he truly doesn't understand or gets Murder Drones as a whole, say whatever you want about the finale as I've had a few issues about the finale myself and think it could've been a bit better but it was at least satisfying and entertaining. I'm not even surprised by this (in the slightest) since as I've said in my post about Vanitymoth, he's almost never positive about whatever he reviews, he barely has ANYTHING positive and praise to give when it comes to the pieces of media he reviews even though there are things you can praise but Vanity choices not to, it just feels like he has very high standards and if they don't meet up to his expectations then he just sees them as bad overall and sees his opinions as definite facts everyone should take to heart and listen to, this dude is just insufferable both to listen to and watch.

He also hearted this comment here...As someone who's in both communities I personally don't think the MD community is as awful and terrible as the Helluvaverse community can be, tbh. Yes, the MD fanbase has shown to be terrible and awful but that's all fandoms, all fandoms are toxic and terrible no matter how big and small, and just for the record the MD fanbase has been called out before by many people. And one more thing, although all fandoms are toxic, there's also good aspects to them as well too. There are good aspects to the Murder Drones fandoms as I've met and see many incredible people in there, despite its bad aspects in the fanbase it's still a fine enough fanbase with some bad and good apples but again, no fandom is perfect and you'll always have good and apples no matter what fandoms you're apart of.

But I'm overall tired of Vanitymoth and can't stand him for the life of me, he's very unbearable as a cartoon reviewer and just doesn't understand MD, this comment says a lot honestly and I personally don't think he's truly ever cared about the show because he gets so much wrong about this series and these characters and overall gets them wrong and mischaracterizes them to make them look worse as a result and to fit his own narrative and shitty theories.

Listen, if y'all want someone, a YouTuber who ACTUALLY understands and gets Murder Drones, actually understands the characters and gets everything right about the show and the theme of it itself, if y'all wanna watch a reviewer who gets MD, please go watch Sarcastic Chorus. Although I don't always agree with his opinions, he's always valid and positive with his opinions even when seeing the flaws in whatever he reviews, he's a great and much better YouTuber than Vanity. And just like @wayward-delver said when it comes to Sarcastic Chorus, SC genuinely understands how the show was meant to be understood and watched, he sees the hard work, love and dedication that went into the show and he's also able to point out flaws without being a dick and shooting down the fans of the show.

[awesomefringey]

I haven't been able to find a good fic to read in about 7 months, I've only read A Distant Hazy Light over and over, but I need a good fic to get this out of my system

Ok, I understand we need to do something about it but first of all @greenfeelings wrote a brilliant series! So, I get it!!!

I read so many wonderful fics this year, here are some of them, maybe they’re for you too:

Is This Flying Or Falling by Holdingontochaos (A/B/O) It’s very sexy and very emotional. It’s also a lot of hurt and comfort. (Harry is traumatized from a past relationship, see the tags for triggers)

Quiet People Have The Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 (A/B/O) I rediscovered it this year and couldn’t put it down again. It’s so very very sweet and made me feel warm and fuzzy.

Danger I Can’t Hide by CelticSky This is the most epic fic. I was worried it would be too dark and too real for my liking with the WWII setting, but the author finds a great balance to create a very real and life threatening atmosphere without it being too unbearable. Although I cried a lot! It is one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Great writing, amazing pacing, a truly unique love story.

Just Breathe With Me by @she-bear369 The Yoga fic. I couldn’t put this fic down. I loved their chemistry and how it was immediately palpable that there was something between them. Also Yoga instructor Louis is truly inspiring! Both Louis and Harry come with a bit of trauma they need to work through, but I loved to watch them process them and grow to be even better people, for themselves and for each other.

Love Is A Word You Gave It A Name by @larrydoinglaundry (3 part series) This one is pretty popular, so maybe you’ve read them already? If not, you must! I can’t really prepare you for it, other than that Louis and Harry will build a room in your heart and never leave it. I’ve read this one (and the 2nd part) multiple times, just to spend time with them.

Secrets, Santa? by @indiaalphawhiskey This fic is a gift to our fandom. I still don’t understand how we deserve authors like India. I’ve been wheezing and screaming over Harry, he’s absolutely hilarious and I love him to bits. The way Harry stubbornly thirsts after Louis is as silly as it is understandable because DAMN Louis is a CEO and Harry is his assistant and why isn’t this a Hallmark Christmas movie and thank god it isn’t because this one is so much better! I read this multiple times and it’ll be forever my go-to fic to get into the Christmas spirit.

And a little extra rec because you’re into A/B/O:

Behind Smoke Stained Curtains by @jaerie This fic was recommended to me recently and I haven’t read it yet but will before the year ends. So if you’re curious, give this one a go.

You can check my tags as well: larry fanfic rec, abo larry fanfiction or larry fanfiction (which is all of my reblogs for fics)

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Favorite QL Characters of 2024

Thanks for tagging me, @wen-kexing-apologist! And thanks to @abstractelysium for getting the ball rolling with some solid end-of-the-year prompts.

Mitsuya Ayumu, Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding/Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakuteki na Edzuke

I love it when a character really has their shit together in some admirable ways but also has big things to learn. Mitsuya has so many things about life figured out, which is part of the reason Ishida first gravitates toward him. But for all his wisdom and competence in some areas, in others, he's been avoiding facing his fears and challenging himself for way too long—until meeting Ishida starts to change things. I have a particular love for this character as a middle-aged BL-watcher. Mitsuya has ten years on me, but he's still way closer to my age than most BL leads. I hadn't realized how much I wanted—maybe needed?—to see an older protagonist in a BL until I watched this series.

Of course, Yamazaki Masayoshi's performance, and his considerable personal charms, helped a great deal too. His approach to the role was so naturalistic that it seemed like important attributes of Mitsuya's, like his self-acceptance and vulnerability, must be things Yamazaki shares. Who knows, maybe he does. But conveying these things onscreen remains a matter of acting talent and the result is a joy to watch regardless.

There's a moment that really exemplifies this. Although I wasn't pleased that the show didn't include a kiss, there was a moment right when Ishida was about to kiss Mitsuya (before they were interrupted) that I absolutely adore. Ishida makes one last declaration of his feelings and asks if he can stay with Mitsuya, who assents and says, "Enough. I surrender." And he does. He doesn't turn into a "blushing maiden." He doesn't go all floppy (not that there's anything wrong with that). It's a different kind of surrender. When Ishida grasps his shoulders and moves closer, Mitsuya tilts his head a little, looks down, and gives a little shy smile. Then Ishida touches his face and he closes his eyes and lets his head fall further to the side and there's just this quality about him in that moment that is so soft and trusting and unhurried—vulnerability and confidence coinciding again, Mitsuya at his best—that evokes something sexier and more romantic than any number of BL kisses I've seen this year.

Hatano, Zettai BL 2024 (Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko)

Regular readers may have noticed that I have a bit of a fixation on this character. I collaborated on a fansub largely because I wanted to see his scenes get translated. I wrote a four-part series of posts about him. Part of the reason for this is undoubtedly that he was played by one of my all-time blorbos, Sekoguchi Ryo. But Hatano also just stands out among the other Zettai BL characters. I mean, there's a reason the series of posts I wrote about him was called What's Different about Hatano. Of all Mob's suitors (and there are a lot of them), he's the only one besides Kikuchi who manages to get to know Mob and spend time with him. He's also the only one of Mob's suitors, period, who shows some awareness of Mob's other life as the main character of a show about living in BL World (albeit in an ambiguous way). And then there are all the other reasons why his approach to pursuing Mob and the way he's situated in relation to Mob make him unique...well, it's all in the posts.

Hatano's uniqueness in the Zettai BL-verse isn't the only thing I appreciate about him, though. At the end of the day, he just makes things happen and keeps things interesting. He pulls off the BL-within-a-BL storyline with aplomb. And I enjoy the way he has this icy, unflappable, unattainable persona with his peers but falls apart and turns into a flustered, agitated wreck around Mob.

Of course, I think Sekoguchi Ryo was wonderful in this role. A big part of playing Hatano is acting like you're in a dramatic scene when you're in a comedy, but sometimes a scene needs the level of deep commitment one would offer in a drama and sometimes it calls for something with a slight undercurrent of irony (without detracting from the genuineness of the character). Sekoguchi walks that line pretty much perfectly. He both sold me on Hatano's sincerity in funny scenes like the fantasy sequence where he responds to Mob's efforts to pawn him off on another teenager by curling up in his lap (!) and broke my heart in the fake angle kiss scene. But I wouldn't have expected any less.

Hayama Asami, 25 ji Akasaka de

I have to admit, I went into 25 ji Akasaka de wanting and expecting to like Hayama. After all, he's played by Komagine Kiita, another favorite actor of mine. (Komagine and Sekoguchi Ryo starred together in Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger and their characters had a well-developed shippy relationship there, which has a lot to do with how much I like them both.) But I'm pretty sure I would have been fascinated with Hayama even without that bias. I love a good mid-series point-of-view revelation, and Hayama had a doozy of one. He ended up being one of the most psychologically complex characters I saw in BL this past year. I'm also a sucker for pining, and Hayama pines with the best of them. The episode 9 scene where Shirasaki hits on him with the pretense of needing acting help, forcing him to choose between pushing away the person he wants or being intimate with him in a way that's apparently meaningless, is a contender for the angstiest scene of the year. And I always enjoy when a character who's a huge pining, angst-y mess on the inside seems all cool and together on the outside (see above re: Hatano). With all this, it's no wonder I love Hayama. I don't think it's just my bias talking when I say I think Komagine knocked this performance out of the park. He impressed me immediately with his versatility, since Hayama is almost the complete opposite of his cinnamon-roll-on-speed character from Zenkaiger. He kept impressing me, after which the point-of-view switch episode was another step up. But it was the opening scene of episode 9 that really showed me what he was capable of. Komagine's performance was so subtle, immediate, and affecting that my respect for him went through the roof.

Shirasaki Yuki, 25 ji Akasaka de

Yep, I'm including both leads from this series. That's just how strong the series as a whole is, in my view.

Shirasaki has gotten a bad rap at times. It's understandable—Hayama is a (justifiably) beloved character and Shirasaki puts him through the ringer. Personally, I think he did pretty well given where he was at the beginning of the series and the circumstances he found himself in—including a carefully devised misunderstanding plot that, as @ginnymoonbeam demonstrated in a post on the subject, was written in such a way that his conclusions about Hayama were reasonably well-founded and not just the result of insecurity gone wild or something even more senseless (as occurs in a lot of BLs that are written with less care). But even if you think Shirasaki is a dick, he's still an interesting, vividly-drawn character who's frequently relatable even as he makes choices viewers find frustrating.

One of the aspects of Hayama's point-of-view reveal that I enjoyed the most wasn't about Hayama himself, but the side of Shirasaki that Hayama is able to see more clearly. When Shirasaki's point of view dominates the story, he emphasizes his insecurity. But when Hayama's does, we can see that Shirasaki has a kind of deep conviction about things that can come out in the form of a strident confidence that helps to balance out his self-doubt and self-effacement.

I may be partial to Shirasaki for another reason. I'm going to preface this by saying that this is just my take on this, and a rather tentative one at that. But since it's a real factor in my feelings about Shirasaki, I think it's worth mentioning. I have some significant people in my life who have autism and I've been exploring whether I may belong in that category myself (combined with my already-diagnosed ADHD, just to make things extra complicated). At the very least, I have quite a few attributes in common with autistic folks. You can probably guess where I'm going with this. To me, Shirasaki seems pretty autism-coded. He has strong opinions, to the point where they could seem rather black-and-white, but another way of looking at this is that he has carefully considered his stance on things and once he forms his views, he sticks to his guns. He's really observant about people in some ways, but comes off (to neurotypical folks, at least) as dense in others. (Boy, does that ever sound familiar.) These ways of thinking, and the social weirdness that they can sometimes entail, are very relatable to me and not something I see represented in media all that often, even when characters seem to resemble autistic folks in other respects.

I still yell at the screen sometimes when Shirasaki makes mistakes in this show. But at the end of the day, I think he's a well-written and engaging character, and I have an abiding fondness for him.

I should mention that this character wouldn't be nearly as compelling if Niihara Taisuke hadn't done such a good work in this role. Shirasaki is sensitive as hell and not great at masking, so his face is an open book a lot of the time. Niihara does a great job of giving the audience something to read there.

5. Fukaya Kai, Perfect Propose

Just as I went into 25 ji with an agenda to like Hayama, I went into Perfect Propose with an agenda to like Hirokuni. I loved Kaneko Shunya in Ultraman Trigger and was excited to see him in this role. And I did like Hiro very much, and I was impressed with Kaneko's portrayal. But what I wasn't expecting was how much I would like Kai.

Part of it is just that Kai is a type of person I don't see very often in BL specifically or media generally. He's a direct, forthright guy, but doesn't show a ton of affect in his face or his voice. Whereas a lot of BL lead characters are pretty neurotic, Kai generally doesn't waste much thought on things that aren't truly important to him. He doesn't always share what he's thinking and feeling, but he also doesn't beat around the bush. One of the most striking examples of this is the time he offers to jerk Hiro off to help with his insomnia, but he also shows this tendency in other ways that grab the viewer's attention a bit less. Kai does have his share of insecurities, even if he doesn't show them very often. But his abiding faith in Hiro and their potential to be good partners to each other is sincere. Being so direct and so steadfast means that Kai is remarkably trustworthy, something that Hiro eventually grows to understand.

So Kai doesn't resemble a lot of BL lead characters. But he does resemble real people I've known in my life. I think part of the reason for this may be subtle gender coding that comes into play in BL writing. It's not inherently feminine to express your emotions, of course, nor is there any contradiction between masculinity and emotional expression. But there are more stoic types of masculine presentations that we don't see portrayed in a sympathetic light in romance plots that often, and stoic masculine people can have a particular kind of charm.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Nomura Kota's performance in this role. It's really restrained in a way that actually seems like it would require a lot of effort, particularly when you see in promotional settings that Nomura is much more animated than his character. Not that he shows that effort onscreen—he just seems like Kai.

honorable mention

Tanaka Kazuhito, Living with Him/Kare no Iru Seikatsu

In the end, this series didn't really do justice to this character or to Sato Ryuga's admirable performance in the role. It seems to have fallen victim to some adaptation pitfalls, from what I've heard. But when this show worked, Kazuhito was fascinating, complex, and endearing, and Sato brought him to life with a combination of restraint and subtle intensity that got stuck in my head between episodes.

characters whose shows I watched for the first time this year

Ai Di, Kiseki: Dear to Me

What is left to say about this dude that hasn't already been said? He's one of the most highly concentrated characters ever to appear in a BL. If a typical BL lead were a glass of fountain soda, Ai Di would be yanking the tube out of the back of the machine and drinking straight syrup. And he wasn't even one of the leads! But he's not reliant on screen time. In a system full of gas giants, he's a little neutron star whose gravitational pull draws audience members' attention to him so strongly that his supporting character status becomes irrelevant. He's the littlest meow meow, the babiest girl, the most chaotic gremlin. A walking ball of trauma whose picture should be in textbooks next to the definition of disorganized attachment. And I haven't even gotten started on the outfits. I was a bit behind the zeitgeist when I watched Kiseki early this year, but I made up for lost time by getting an intense case of brainrot and engaging in some seriously excessive rewatching. Like so many other Kiseki appreciators, a big part of my interest in the show was driven by Ai Di.

It's impossible to talk about this character without acknowledging the seriously remarkable job Louis Chiang did in this part. I don't think Ai Di would have been nearly as fascinating if a different actor had played him. Chiang showed so many sides of Ai Di and every single one of them was so vivid and fascinating. That much-discussed intimate scene is his pièce de résistance, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure I'm not the only person who is watching with great interest to see what Chiang does next.

Sky, Love in the Air

I didn't know what to expect going into Love in the Air, which is part of the reason I didn't watch it sooner. The second half of the series ended up blowing me away in a lot of respects. It has its issues, certainly. Sometimes the portrayal of Sky's trauma history and its present-day effects verges on being sensationalistic enough to feel exploitative, though it never crossed that line for me. But for the most part, I found that it resonated with my experience as a survivor of partner abuse and sexual violence to a remarkable degree.

Sky was written well, with a rare degree of understanding of interpersonal violence and the effects of trauma. But the character wouldn't have worked nearly as well if not for Peat's sensitive, nuanced performance. In a show with a lot of oversized characters, Peat wasn't afraid to dial things down in a way that ultimately made a bigger impression.

I'm going to be thinking about this one, and probably rewatching it, for a while!

character from a non-QL

Daichi, Ossan no Pantsu ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka!

For the first part of Ossan no Pantsu, Daichi functions primarily as a way for Makoto to learn and become a better father, partner, and boss. For a while there, he's in danger of becoming the gay equivalent of a "magical Negro," albeit one so adorable and wise beyond his years that it's tempting to ignore the fact that he occupies such a role in the story. Then Daichi turns out to have his own challenges—significant but ultimately manageable problems that Makoto sometimes exacerbates, but eventually helps with, rendering their relationship less one-sided. But it's only in the final arc of the show that we see that Daichi has been carrying around a much more profound wound than was hinted at before that point—and now Makoto, thanks in part to Daichi's help, is able to provide real support as he copes with its effects.

This progression works well to support Makoto's journey through the story and then afford him an opportunity to prove how far he's come by returning the favor, but it never felt contrived to me. After all, I've run into my share of overfunctioning young people who have done an admirable job of making up for the support they didn't get from one or more of their parents and ended up with a lot of valuable perspective that belies how much unresolved hurt they're carrying around. It's a type of person one is more likely to run into in queer communities given the risk of parental rejection that comes with it, so it's no coincidence that Daichi fits that bill completely.

Nakajima Sota seems a bit green to me in this role, like he's still working through a little bit of stiffness. He's charming enough that I hardly noticed this while I was watching OnP, though, and he seems to show growth as an actor just through the course of the series. He's a great fit for the part regardless, bringing a degree of warmth and charismatic sparkle to it that helps to justify why a stubborn middle-aged man would put so much stock in the opinions of a college student.

[projectjasper]

ME AND THEE: NOVEL VS MOCK TRAILER

[BASIC SUMMARY & CHARACTERS] - [FULL SUMMARY & OTHER SPOILERS]

ARCHER'S NOTE: Overall, it seems like there have already been a lot of changes made to the mock trailer alone, and there are even more usually made to the actual series. In some ways, this immediately makes sense to me. After finishing the 400-something pages novel, I thought that its plot would fit better into a 2-hour movie rather than a full series, so certain things would need to be expanded upon for certain (and, frankly, they need to be expanded upon, as the speed with which some characters are introduced for a few scenes only to be promptly yanked out of the novel forever is slightly jarring). That said, expanding on the existing themes and providing necessary context is not the only thing the writers did for the mock trailer, taking only inspiration from some parts of the novel or even stepping away from it entirely for some of the decisions they have made. This series is indeed a mystery to me, a person who has read the novel, almost as much as it is to someone who has not, or perhaps even more so, since someone who has not read the novel has no expectations for things to go a certain way.

When the writers for the series are announced and if I know them (and there is a good 90% chance I know them very well), I will likely make a separate post, speculating where they might take their ideas based on their previous writing and the mock trailer.

SPOILER WARNING! Although the trailer itself obviously couldn't reveal any major plot points, there are still some spoilers for the novel in my comparisons, so proceed with caution.

THE MAIN GIMMICK IS NOT IN THE NOVEL

Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but what is possibly the most charming part of the mock trailer - Thee watching soap operas and reciting the dialogue by heart - is simply not a thing in the novel. To be fair! The seeds of it are kind of there.

Thee's mom did indeed raise him on soap operas - in fact, her own soap operas, as she used to be an actress before marrying her husband - and has all the DVDs of her works, which Thee loved watching as a child. Moreover, this all gets revealed at the end of the novel, after Peach spends the entirety of it making an inside joke to himself about how sometimes the way Thee speaks sounds like he came right out of a soap opera. I suppose all these factors came together to give us the far more comedic and dramatic image of Thee actually currently being a huge fan of soap operas in general, which is honestly a hilarious and incredible decision.

ROMANCE OR SEX?

Now, this is a tough one, because what Thee ends up saying in the trailer can be interpreted in many ways.

He does begin by talking about sleeping with Aran.

But the next comment is perhaps a little more dramatically romantic, although - as I said - it can be interpreted in many different ways and perhaps the "burning desire" of which Thee speaks is the desire to nail and bail.

Regardless, in the novel, Thee is strictly interested in having sex with Aran and nothing more - in fact, he has never been in a relationship before and (up until meeting Peach) is only interested in one-night stands. Especially in conjunction with Thee from the mock trailer being fully into soap operas, I feel like he might take a more romance-aligned approach after all, or perhaps they will remain novel-accurate here and he will only be interested in Aran physically. We shall see.

ARSENI? YES AND NO

So, fun fact! Thee is half-Russian in the novel and his father is actually a notorious Russian mafia. (This is also why the author gave Thee "cigarette smoke coloured grey eyes" which I had to read about one too many times - Gods protect us from contact lenses in this series, although I've heard the director X first thought of casting Pond after he saw a photo of him with blue contacts, so I guess they are helpful somewhere). Regardless of my hatred for Pond covering his gorgeous brown eyes, 'Arseni' is not just the name of the company Thee owns, but also his family's surname. Now, you are in luck, as I am Russian and can confirm: Arseni cannot be a surname under any circumstances, although it is a popular first name in the country, so the author's research has either not been extensive enough or has simply been unsuccessful. In any case, both the trailer and recently Phuwin in an Instagram Live confirm that Thee will not be half-Russian in the series.

According to the trailer, Thee's first two names are intact, but his surname has been changed to Lee - if I had to guess based on that alone, he could be of numerous descents, there are multiple countries where that surname is quite common. Another hint, however, might be in Thee's conversation with his father from the trailer, where he speaks English. That could just be because they are being hashtag international in the family or indeed because his father is from an English-speaking country. Honestly, we have no way of knowing right now. The only thing that we do know is that he is definitely not half-Russian anymore.

Oh, and that Thee's company is still called 'Arseni', as the trailer confirms multiple times.

A POND NARAVIT CHARACTER WITH A GOOD FAMILY? NOT IN THIS ECONOMY

In the novel, Thee has a shockingly nice family. He gets along with his younger brother Rome well, his mother is very warm and loving, and his father is incredibly open-minded and supportive. To be fair, there are crumbs of some... peculiar upbringing in Thee's backstory for sure. He is taught to not trust anyone outside the family (which is also why he is not properly socialised) and Mok is specifically raised alongside him to make sure he would be a trustworthy confidant to him. But, considering the "business" the family is in, this isn't totally unreasonable and the family does accept Peach and his sister Phlub into it with open arms right away.

The trailer, however, paints such a drastically different picture that I am confident this is a big change that they've made. A stern father's voice says over the phone "This business is not a place for the weak, not for the people who let their emotions get in the way. You know that, my dear son?" Although we never actually witness a conversation between Thee and his father in the novel as such, this just does not line up with what we know about him. That man adores his wife, first and foremost, and he wishes for his son to find the same kind of love he has and to focus on something other than work - he would simply never disregard all emotions in name of business. Not to mention that this isn't really even a conversation Thee from the novel would have to have with his father. The younger son, Rome, is in charge of the shady parts of the business that require one to be truly ruthless and cunning, while Thee keeps to the clean cover-up businesses, which are his main projects.

AND THIS ACTUALLY LEADS ME INTO TWO OTHER POINTS:

MOK'S ROLE AND ROME'S DISAPPEARANCE

Like I have mentioned, Mok has been raised alongside Thee to be his trusted friend and confidant. While we do not immediately find out about this in the novel, it slowly becomes apparent just how close the two are, and their upbringing is eventually revealed, as a last piece of the friendship puzzle.

What Mok says here is more reminiscent of a bodyguard who is only just trying to get close to his distant boss, which - if true - changes a lot, not just about Mok, but also about Thee's upbringing.

Rome is also not present in the trailer. And while I do acknowledge that this might be due to timing issues, he is a relatively important character and - perhaps more importantly - GMMTV mock trailers rarely pass up on the chance to at least hint at a secondary romance, which (by tried and true GMMTV rules) should be WilliamEst here, as Rome and Mock are in an on-again, off-again relationship in the novel. In conjunction with the changes they made to Thee's father, I fear Rome might not exist in the series at all, making Thee the single heir and placing much more responsibility and shady business on his shoulders.

A MAFIA HAS PROBLEMS TOO

In the novel, Peach is the one who keeps running into issues and Thee is mostly his ever-powerful knight in shining armour, rushing to save him and finally make him feel cared for and protected. Not only is there no trace of this in the mock trailer, the roles are seemingly reversed.

It is true that Thee does not really have friends, aside from his family and Mok (who is basically also family). However, this is an issue that is approached very matter-of-factly in the novel. It is simply how he was raised and how he has been living for the past three decades. It is clearly treated with far more gravity in the trailer.

Similarly, while Thee often feels cold and empty, this is his general state of mind in the novel and it is certainly not accurate to how he feels when he is around Peach. If I had to guess, I would say the trailer is going for Peach slowly melting an iceberg that encapsulates Thee's heart, while in the novel the two have a very natural connection that immediately makes them both feel safe and warm.

If I am right on both counts, the weight of the two characters in the series will shift significantly and - dare I say - the main character, who is undeniably Peach in the novel, even with all the Thee POVs that we get, might actually be Thee in the series.

A BETTER ROMANCE STEREOTYPE

The 'Me and Thee' novel is an interesting little thing, because it is simultaneously chock-full of very classic soap opera esque tropes, but also criticises some other ones very pointedly.

The questions of force and consent in particular are often brought up by Peach. A classic mafia romantic interest in a soap opera would usually not be respectful of boundaries, but Thee is very far from that kind of stereotype himself and is taken farther from it still by Peach's guiding hand. I don't know if the series will bother with threading this particular message throughout the entire plot or if it's just a line thrown into this particular dialogue, but the novel certainly does. Although, even if it will not be emphasised in the series, I am confident there will be no nasty shit happening, judging by the tone of the trailer alone.

TO ARANTAWAN OR NOT TO ARANTAWAN? THAT IS THE QUESTION

So, the 'Me and Thee' novel does not have a secondary couple as such, and if I absolutely had to give that label to someone, it would actually go to MokRome - not AranTawan. Aran and Tawan are mostly used to propel TheePeach's relationship a couple of times and otherwise have a very tumultuous and frankly kind of toxic relationship, we never see any of their sweet moments or anything like that - mostly just Tawan being jealous and taking it out on Peach.

Looking at the mock trailer, that seems to check out. So, sorry PerthSanta cowboys, but I would hold our horses, at least for now.

A DIFFERENT ROLE FOR PHLUB

If i am right in assuming that Bonnie is playing Peach's sister Phlub (which is highly likely), she seems to have a different role in the series and be a slightly different character overall. In the mock trailer, she basically explains who Thee is and warns Peach to be careful - in the novel, she doesn't know anything about Thee's involvement in Peach's life until way wayyyy later. Not to mention that Phlub from the novel would be more likely to mischievously grin and tell her brother to have fun with his new rich friend than warn him away. To be fair, her scene is very short and she could very well be working as a mouthpiece for Thee's introduction that was simply an author's note in the novel, so I can't say for certain if this is a big change yet.

MORE DETAILS

You know how sometimes you read a romance novel or watch a romance movie or what have you and the characters on their own are a tad underdeveloped? Like, sure, they are real, the relationship is beautiful, but we don't know anything about them outside of their workplace and maybe their tragic backstory. Yeah, the 'Me and Thee' novel is kind of like that. The series seems to be rectifying that, however.

Both Thee's interest in arcades (?) and Peach's interest in handpans are not present in the novel.

Although the boys' wiliness to share in each other's interests and likes is very novel-accurate.

[hollow-lime-green]

hi!! just wondering if you have any stsg fic recs you’d be willing to share? i’m currently gobbling up 2sorcs like a gremlin and looking for something else to read between updates but i only really trust your opinions and characterizations which 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 anyways love ur work and hope you’re doing well!!

Ah! First of all, thank you <3 I do have some fics I really like! I shall rec them and give a little anxiety disclaimer at the end.

Fic Recs - Shorties

it would make a whole - by @diggingupgrave 8.8k, T, First Year, Pre-Relationship, Emotional H/C oh i love this fic so very much. this may have been one of the fics that really got me thinking about their characterization in the first place, tbh.

As You Wish - by @haha-funny-valentine 2.5k, T, Post-Star Plasma Arc, Emotional H/C wonderful characterization here and I am just such a sucker for H/C.

The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom - by @zombieheroine 16.3k, T, Prison Realm Gojo Character Study I took my skin off to check and I am shocked that this fic is not like, Doing Numbers. this fic is SO fucking creative and unique and I just. love. it. Definitely a big inspiration for FIYM. It's like Harrow the Ninth but for Gojo in the Prison Realm and like, oh my god so well done imo.

Longfic Recs with Caveats

and if you take my hand (series) - by @detta-pica 40k (Ongoing), T, Witch AU, Slow Burn Caveat: this is a WIP, and we're in the early part so very much Unresolved Romantic Tension. But I really like the worldbuilding in this and I'm excited to follow it as it keeps going, so big rec here if you like Plot and are down to follow some more ongoing fics. :)

coanda effect - by @bunniehoneys 250k, M, F1 AU, Slow Burn, Eating Disorders, Drugs, Bad Choices I am probably the last person in the world to read this fic so it feels silly to rec, but I'm doing it anyway because I'm a little obsessed. Caveat 1: also technically a WIP for another week or two

Caveat 2: TAGS check the tags. If you are at all sensitive to discussion of EDs, skip this fic, but I think it's done well and adds a lot to the characterization

Caveat 3: I am not caught up on this fic. it's one that I didn't let myself read for a while (see below) but F1 has a special place in my heart (my dad is into it, I used to live in a Gran Prix city, and I have watched WAY too much F1 Lets Play content).

I've been working really shitty hours for the past 48 hours (almost done) due to research that requires specific spans of real earth time. Because I don't have the focus to write right now, I've had the chance to read a little, and I've read about 75% of this gargantuan fic in windowless rooms on my phone, which has to say something about how much I love it lmao.

Disclaimer: I am a bad source of stsg fics because I actually don't read very many. If I read amazing fic then it tends to trigger the "you will never be as good as the old masters" part of the brain, although instead of real art like in the meme, my fic is putting gojo in a minecraft hoodie and making him do the gangnam style dance. Still.

I also get very unhealthy about metrics/numbers, which I mostly manage by using AO3 skins to block stats, but I still have some moments of weakness. So I try to avoid looking at stuff that I know might make me anxious/insecure about my own works and be unable to finish them (this has unfortunately happened to me before in the FE3H fandom, and that continues to weigh on me).

All that to say, there are some really big, nice, and well-loved fics by wonderful authors currently being updated, and I have read almost none of them. So this is absolutely not me saying I don't like their characterizations, I'm just kind of a hermit.

[queer-goddess-of-the-hunt]

I started to type this in the tags of my most recent poll (vote here) but I have far too much to say about my journey as a fan of Dan and Phil, especially after seeing TIT last night. (don't worry, this post is spoiler free)

I originally found them through Dan. I don't remember which video it was exactly, I know it was before the Sunstroke video (oh god that was when I was 12). I ended up binging all of his videos and consequently found Phil. I didn't binge all of Phil's videos. I think I originally just watched all of the videos that had Dan in them, but I started to watch Phil's videos more regularly in 2014/2015.

I think I was drawn more to Dan because I saw him as edgier and I was the angsty kind of kid in middle school. There was a lot I could relate to in his videos. Now that I've grown a bit, I think I have accepted the more Phil-like aspects of myself and he is honestly my favorite of the two now, although it is very close.

I was here when their gaming channel first started. I still own TABINOF and DAPGO. I think I stopped really watching them when the hiatus started. I might have watched a Phil video here or there, especially if Dan appeared in it, but I really fell off.

Then the gaming channel came back and it sparked my love of them again. Their joint content truly is what I loved and love most, but I'm also finding myself enjoying them individually as well? I'm starting to actually catch up on all the content I missed and binging all of the content I haven't watched in a while. I completely missed most of Dystopia Daily when Dan did that series during his tour. I have no idea how many Phil videos I have missed.

It just feels amazing that I managed to rediscover them and realize that I still really love all of their videos, even after around 10 years of being a fan. I feel so lucky that I was able to go see them live this time around after missing out on that for so many years. It's a bit of a shame that I didn't get to properly meet them, but seeing them live was surreal enough. They truly did raise me along with the likes of Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, and Thomas Sanders. I feel really lucky to have been a fan of so many good and kind YouTubers growing up. I think they really made me who I am.

Thanks to everyone that is responding to the poll, I love reading all the tags <3

[absolutebl]

hello!!

ahaha i'm pretty sure you might remember me, since i asked a question not so long ago😭

i've recently started watching bl dramas through your guide, but i'm new to it so it's difficult to find ones that match my taste atm :')

so far i've watched cherry magic (japanese), sing my crush, and cherry blossoms after winter. i was wondering if you could suggest me some bls that have fluff and more emotions, less plot typa vibes? not sure how to describe it but i want something like sing my crush. it wasn't a huge nor complicated plot and the vibes were really cozy and soft, so i'm looking to watch something like that for starters :]

tysm for being my bl savior haha, have a good day/night!!

BLs with fluff + high emotion but less plot

example: Sing My Crush

Hum, okay. I feel like sing as some angst going on too. This is gonna have some oddball pulls because I'm felling nostalgic after We Are. Because We Are is the first one that came to mind, and that had led me too...

Love Sick

This was the start of BL in Thailand and basically fills this role for them. It will also give you a grounding in the modern BL genre. I think it's worth watching and love it but it's a decade old and is... something... raw. Plus, what? 50 eps over the two seasons, or something, so it might not be to your taste.

So here's newer stuff that I think may work.

Here's the ones I think most closely qualify:

Love Sick

We Are the series - just ended and is basically the Thai ensemble version of this style bL ( I think quite a few of these will be Korea)

Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart - the adult version of Sing

We Best Love - possibly one of the few i will pull from Taiwan which tends to be less fluffy, and this is, especially in season 2, but delightfully plotless

Mr. Heart - university set early Korean BL exactly on brand

Takara & Amagi - high school from Japan, for this style form them you'll need to stay within the high school sphere

Star in My Mind - what people didn't like about this is what you'll like

Hidden Agenda - play it again JoongDunk

School set, and a bit higher angst but still fluffy emotional plotlessness

Generally, I put the ones I like better towards the top.

Light On Me

My School President

Oxygen the series

Destiny Seeker

2 Moons The Ambassador

Love By Chance (JUST the AePete story line)

My Love Mix Up (both)

Why R U? (Korea's version)

Cooking Crush

En of Love: Tossera

Future the series

If It’s With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’

La Cuisine

My Engineer

Nitiman

Blossom Campus

Not School set

Our Dating Sim - you didn't rule our adult characters, but I don't think I'll be pulling many

Jun and Jun - although...

Our Dining Table

Ingredients the series

Bon Appetit

Oh! Boarding House - love triangle warning

See You After Quarantine?

Some More (short)

The Tasty Florida

A Boss and a Babe

You Are Ma Boy

Here's this list too, which I think is tangential:

You have to come back and tell me if I got them right, tho? Cause Sing My Crush isn't much to go on.

[butterflydm]

this is random but i just remembered that ages ago i saw an ask game for asking fic writers their 5 favorites/ones they're most proud of of their own fics, and i would love to know yours if you're up for it! it would be so interesting to hear a Butterfly Career Retrospective haha

feel free to be flexible on the number and discuss as many or as few fics as you feel like, and to count a whole series as a single entry (like voice, although if you have any particular favorite installments or interludes within that that you'd like to note i'd be curious to hear that too!)

This took a while but I finally got it done, @markantonys!

I have written a lot of fics, so this was a difficult challenge. I am somewhat helped out by the fact that old fics tend to fade out of my memory… but then if I reread a bit of them, I tend to remember why I wrote them and what I loved about them. I did not limit myself to five fics (I tried!) but these are roughly in reverse chronological order of when I posted them.

not in the stars, but in ourselves - trying to bob and weave and make something that feels narratively satisfying out of the mess that is Mat Cauthon's late series arc has become something of a hobby of mine! This is fic is one of several where I narratively examine parts of the canon that didn't work so well for me and try to rearrange them into something that feels like it rings true for the previous characterization and choices.

This fic in particular really made me see how the roadblocks that existed in each of the character's main plotlines was so much easier to solve if they had access to the other main characters (and I suspect that's part of why Jordan kept them so unnaturally separated during these arcs).

I also really enjoy the romance in this fic, and how the characters interact with prophecy in more unexpected ways, and how Rand and Mat help each other through their traumas, and how each of the members of the polycule bring their own perspective to the relationship.

the caffrey exception in White Collar fandom - this fic languished mostly unfinished on my harddrive for a long time before polyweek gave me an excuse to finish it up and post it! I wasn’t really in White Collar fandom, was the problem, and I always write and post more consistently when I have fellow fandom people to encourage me. I also was originally watching WC with my (now ex-)girlfriend and I stopped watching after we broke up, iirc, so I didn’t actually finish the show until years later. And by the time I was writing it, I didn’t feel like there was all that much visible fandom around. But it had a nice little response during polyshipweek, so I was really happy with how it all turned out. Makes me think that one day maybe I’ll finish up and post that RENT fanfic that’s been on my harddrive for eighteen million years.

negotiating with the truth in The Wheel of Time fandom - you can tell I got fancy with this fic because I gave the chapters titles, lol. This fic leans hard into Mat being an unreliable narrator and playing around with that, and it was a lot of fun to focus on and explore that part of him. I do love a lot of the fics I've written in WoT so trying to narrow it down more was tough (and I still only managed to narrow down to three!) but I really loved writing this one and exploring the differing ways that Mat and Rand were approaching this relationship of theirs and how they come to a compromise in the end. I think I really liked that they genuinely do have different wants and desires that need to be navigated.

voice interlude: feels like falling for the first time in The Wheel of Time fandom - this is, a little bit, subbing in for the Voice series as a whole, but I wanted to pick out a complete story and not something still in progress. I am pretty hopeful that Voice will get finished (there are three more main fics in the series, I think — one that mostly spoils through bk9: winter’s heart; one that mostly spoils through bk12: the gathering storm; and then one with whole-series spoilers) but I have some fairly long unfinished works in past fandoms, so eggs and hatching & etc.

What makes this fic in particular stand out to me is how I was able to really take this one moment in time in the series and expand on it so that I could deep-dive into Mat’s characterization and what he was thinking and feeling, and it’s such a revelatory moment for Mat. I enjoy showing characterization via writing about sex, and the interludes in the Voice series really allow me to do that.

my mouth (your lips) my hands (your hips) in The Magicians fandom - This fic where Margo and Eliot approach Quentin on this more equal ground (of them competing to see which of them can land him first) and it developing into a true polyam relationship… I really loved exploring how messy but ultimately loving it was. I also loved delving into Margo as an aromantic character in this fic, and how the great love of her life is her best friend.

A lot of my own fears and pains and worries made it into the three main characters in this one, though all in ways that make sense with their own base characterization, I think. There’s this one line that Eliot thinks - “he had always been better at self-preservation than bravery” and that is 100% canon Eliot but… yeah, it’s also me. One of the things I am working on in therapy is loosening the stranglehold of my self-preservation so that I can be a little braver when it comes to reaching out to other people.

If you like my poly fics in WoT fandom, you might also enjoy my marqueliot fics (but I wouldn’t recommend the show tbh. Or, well, I might rec it up until the episode “All That Hard Glossy Armor”. That’s a good one to end on. And it’s a Margo episode!).

searching for a sound (we hadn’t heard before) in The Magicians fandom - I wrote some serious fix-it fics in this fandom. But this fic was me taking the kind of ridiculous angle on a plotline that I think that the show might have actually pulled off, if it had been so inclined. This fic was also me balling up all my frustration at the poor writing choices and lobbing it at the show’s forehead. It was very cathartic to write. And I think it’s pretty funny too, so that’s a bonus.

(I’m Not Calling You A) Liar for Steven Universe fandom — I am cheating here and including a vid. This vid is… if I sliced up my heart (Hannibal style) and laid it out on a plate, it would look something like this vid. I actually started watching Steven Universe because I saw the “Stronger Together” clip with Garnet but soon after I started watching… holy shit, Pearl and her deep heartbreak over Rose just grabbed me by the throat and did not let me go. Watching her slowly process and begin to resolve her grief was a very healing experience when I was watching the show. There was something very much intensely yearning about Pearl at the start of SU, and how she was trying so hard to hide it (from Steven but from the other gems as well). But she can’t move on until she confronts and heals!

My favorite of the vids that I’ve made, I think, and the one I’m proudest of. There is maybe one single clip that I would change now if I went back to edit it again, but that’s it. I’m fully satisfied with the rest of it; and this is not the case with most of my vids. My Yuri! On Ice vid is probably the other one that comes closest to feeling like I wouldn’t change anything now.

Enyo’s Daughter in MCU fandom — so I am a bit of an odd one out in MCU fandom, because the ship that I liked the best, over any other… Tony and Natasha. Iron Man and Black Widow. It’s a complex and thorny ship, but I liked exploring it. Tony and Natasha both get to be messy and fucked up and exploring situations like that can be interesting. It was written pretty soon after the first Avengers movie came out, if I recall correctly. I never did finish the sequel to this fic, which I am kinda sad about.

Any fandom where canon is currently developing can be kinda tough for me to stay ahead of, in terms of writing any big fic series(es) — this is also why my big Star Wars WIP is destined never to be finished, tbh. I started writing it before a lot of the current canon even exists, and trying to go back and finish it would be difficult because the new shows & movies have changed so much and it can be hard to mentally reconcile what I knew back then vs what I know now when it comes to canon. Once the new MCU movies after Avengers came out, this fic was kinda doomed to never get the sequel finished, alas. And this is why WoT having a closed book canon has made writing fic for it easier, I think.

Melt into Time from American Idol RPF — time-travel fic! I’ve attempted it from time to time, but this one I actually finished. I don’t remember the actual process of writing this anymore, because my memory is for crap, as I mentioned at the start, but it is probably my favorite fic that I wrote in this fandom overall. It deals with second chances and a lot of yearning and people being emotionally messy (a theme for me, for sure).

Justice, Be Not Blind from Dexter — my one and only Dexter fic. What I remember most about writing this fic is that despite how short it is (less than 1k), I did so much research. Miguel Prado was hands-down my favorite character who ever appeared on Dexter and so I wanted to write a fic for him, but I wanted it to sound as true to his character voice as possible. I don’t even really remember the extent of the research that I did and it’s been so long that I couldn’t tell you anymore whether or not the character voice is accurate, but I remember how much I wanted to get this right and how much work I put into trying to get Miguel to feel genuine.

Travelers Without Map or Compass for Doctor Who fandom - cute romantic fluff, but I’m very fond of it. It captures a sort of vibe in the Doctor & Rose relationship that was very appealing to me, and I enjoyed exploring and expanding my thoughts on some of the rooms in the TARDIS.

Another Nameless Planet in the Star Wars (Prequel) fandom — I wrote longer fics in Star Wars fandom but honestly I think I captured Anakin best in this small fic that’s not really about anything in particular except Anakin wanting to be treated as an equal (by Obi-Wan specifically).

I have fics that I wrote before this point, but most of them I genuinely don’t remember writing to the point of going, “huh, oh, wow, I guess that was me, huh?” lol. But going back over my fics… man, it really is like having the deepest yearnings of your heart spread out in front of the world sometimes, isn’t it?

Thanks for sending me on this journey to the past! I hope you enjoyed it. <3

[phdmama]

I'd absolutely love some sterek fic recs because I'm trying to broaden the ships I read. I've watched the first 3 seasons of teen wolf but haven't read any fics and don't know where to start. I'm fairly open to reading any content, although I'm not the biggest fan of like the common school/coffee shop etc AUs.

Also I love how you're gotten into blogging hockey recently. Have you read any hockey rpf since getting into nhl? Personally sidgeno and mattdrai have my heart, but like I said I'm looking for new ships to read like sterek.

WOOOO LET'S GOOOO!!

As always, read the tags etc etc. Probably a lot of these will be author recs. I will say Sterek has the potential for an age gap concern but I don't read fic where that's written as a predatory thing, FWIW, but I do read some where Stiles is 17 but where I feel like it's handled at least somewhat gracefully

Gravity's Got Nothing on You by @zosofi is great - I really like all their stuff actually!

@kalpurna's Fascination and @drunktuesdays' bigger, longer and uncut are both *gems* - so funny.

We've Written Volumes (in Blood and Scars and Ink) by @notthequiettype is absolutely brilliant, one of my fav fics of all time, way up on my reread regularly list. They only have one other Sterek but I love that one too (and they write hockey rpf but I haven't really dived in there yet!).

The Moon's Gonna Follow Me Home by @turningterrific is stunning. They're SUCH a good writer, although sadly this is their only Sterek (but they have written some amazing hockey RPF as well!).

Every stumble and each misfire by @everchanginginks is fucking phenomenal. True story, I read this fic and then didn't keep track of it but it stayed in my brain, and I spent literally HOURS combing my AO3 history to find it, and when I did, I promptly downloaded it and created the "Best Ever" collection on my Kindle specifically for this fic.

Everything by @suburbanmotel. They are an incredible writer and even more incredible person and I'm so lucky to call them a friend!

I really love @lunacanislupus-22-blog writing but particular favorites are: Feel it like a fever, burning through the night , Spirit grows when love goes away and I know that you love me, even when I lose my head (and I'm not normally one for amnesia fics because they make me SO ANXIOUS but this one is SO good).

Cornerstone by Vendelin is really good too (mind the tags on this one).

By Any Other Name by @entanglednow is fucking phenomenal (and again with the amnesia fics?!?!) and so so well-written. Check out all their stuff!

I really love @devildoll's writing very much a lot! Particular favorites include: Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile (and I don't usually gravitate to post-apocalyptic fic even though I love the genre in fiction but this one is fucking brilliant); Stand Fast in Your Enchantments (painful and so good); My Heart Comes Tumbling Down (OH MY HEART) and Love, Like a Sentence of Death.

There's Monsters at Home by @wellhalesbells | calrissian18 is a classic and really good! They've written a ton of really great fics (the Hilary Duff lyrics one is a another personal favorite!)

Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by @alocalband is gorgeous. Just. beautifully written.

stuck in reverse by @crazyassmurdererwall is also really good! Definitely check the tags on this one, as it is Stiles still in HS.

Start Small, Like Oak Trees by smallbirds is really lovely. Everything of theirs that I've read, I've really liked.

Okay, just a couple more I promise!!

The Difficult Kind (series) by whiskey_in_tea is an old one but really really wonderful.

The First Date series by @halffizzbin - the whole thing is delightful but I absolutely adore the final installment!

I will note that many of these authors also have Hockey RPF fic, JUST SAYING (I really am fascinated as to what that pipeline is??). I've read a ton of hockey RPF as well (sidgeno for sure) and I'll check out mattdrai now!!

Anyway, hope this helps as a place to start!!

[thebookdragonshoard]

The Wicked King by Holly Black: Review (SPOILERS)

Dearest gentle readers (sorry, I've been watching too much Bridgerton).

Anyways, hello bitches, bros, and nonbinary hoes!! (+10 points if you can name that reference). I will most likely be jumping around from scene to scene instead of reviewing them chronologically because like my thought process, I can't do anything in an orderly or linear fashion.

The Wicked King by Holly Black is a 30 chapter, 448 page (or 10hr 21min audio book) book and is the second installment in the The Folk of the Air trilogy. It is primarily a political fantasy with a subplot of romance centering around our main character, Jude Duarte. Given that this is the second book in the series and that you are reading this, I will assume you already know the characters.

First of all, I'd like to highlight the fact that this is a political fantasy with a SUBplot of romance. I love the fact that, although the growing relationship between Cardan and Jude is relevant to the story, it is not the main focus. I feel like lately, many books are either hinged on romance or completely cut it out, so it always feels as if it's all or nothing. And I appreciate that Holly Black, while still producing a well-written and convincing romance, gave us a complex and captivating political scene with the world-building to match.

One of my favorite aspects of this book was how we got to see more into the inner workings of the High Court and life inside the palace. It was something I often found myself curious about while reading the first book (The Cruel Prince). Plus, we also got to see more faerie revels, which are always fun scenes to read, in my opinion.

Speaking of faerie revels, the revel on the night of the Hunter's Moon. First of all, I deeply despise Locke, and I just had to say that somewhere. Anyways, I like to believe that Jude being crowned Queen of Mirth was not only coincidental in her being the only mortal girl there, but also foreshadowing for the end of the book, when Jude rises to High Queen of Elfhame. Especially how, with her 'coronation' as Queen of Mirth, she was mocked and ridiculed the entire time (as per the game). When Jude is named High Queen and declares as such at the end of the book, the folk around her have much of the same reaction and start laughing at her almost instantaneously, Just like crowing a mortal as Queen of Mirth is meant to be a joke, Jude being crowned as the High Queen is received as a joke by the folk, however true it may be. Furthermore, a part of me has to admire the way Jude handled herself as Queen of Mirth and remained composed despite all the insults and ridiculed, even going so far as to turn the situation in her favor towards the end of the scene. For instance, how she strips herself naked before allowing the folk to dress her in the tattered gown given to the Queen of Mirth. It's such a powerful move for her and it basically screams to the folk that despite, no, in the face their cruel intentions, she can still hold her head high and that none of them could strip her of her dignity, despite how hard they may try. She silently says that whatever they may do to embarass her pales in comparison of what she can do to embarass herself and that, even though she is mortal, she is just as faerie as the rest of them, if not more so. Which I have personally thought since her first scheme to get Cardan on the throne. I think this quote sums it up very well. "After all, if the insult to me is pointing out that I am mortal, than this is my riposte: I live here, too, and I know the rules. Perhaps I even know them better than you since you were born into them, but I had to learn. Perhaps I know them better than you because you have greater leeway to break them."

However, even though Jude was the main focus of the scene, I have to bring up Cardan's actions. Because oh my gods, Cardan. First of all, how he makes sure that Taryn isn't there that night makes me believe that he did it not only because Jude asked him to help protect her from Locke, but that he also did it for Jude's sake. Because what would have been the one worse thing for Jude than her being named Queen of Mirth? If it were Taryn instead. Because I fully believe Locke would do it with zero hesitation, even though Taryn was supposed to be his lover. Additionally, Cardan tried to warn Jude to leave the revel towards the beginning of the scene, effectively trying to protect her from Locke's torment. And then what Cardan said when Locke asked about his feelings for Jude. " I have too often been troubled by dreams of Jude... her face features prominently in my most frequent nightmares... But I believe it is only that her beauty is unique... Excruciating. Alarming. Distressing." We all know that Cardan, being faerie, cannot lie and therefore has to be telling some form of the truth in this scene. And at first read, it's all too easy to assume he is being intentionally cruel. I certainly thought so at first. But then I remembered how Cardan previously admitted his attraction to Jude, more specifically how much it terrified him. Taking this into account, we realize that Cardan is actually complimenting Jude here. It is not that her beauty is excruciating, alarming, and distressing. Or that her face haunts his nightmares. But, rather, that her looks are excruciating, alarming, and distressing, and that her face haunts his nightmares because Cardan finds her beautiful, which he feels like he shouldn't because Jude is a mortal. Also, I like how, at the end of their shared dance, Cardan tells Jude she is allowed to stay or leave as she likes, effectively leaving the choice up to her. Giving her the option to leave insinuates that he is aware of how unsettled she must be after being named Queen of Mirth and that she may want to be alone to deal with her feelings about it, but also giving her the choice to stay essentially says that he isn't going to assume that she is still some weak, mortal girl that cant handle the pressure. Basically, he gives her the option to leave for her own sake if she must, no judgement included, or to stay and tough it out if she feels capable of it, also no judgement included.

Let's fast forward to the end of Taryn and Locke's wedding, aka the first betrayal scene. I was guessing the entire novel who the traitor would be, but I was not at all suspecting The Ghost. I suppose after the beginning sparring scene between Jude and The Ghost, I should have expected it but, you know what they say. Ignorance is bliss. So, The Ghost and Vulciber manage to lure Jude away to The Tower of Forgetting via an attack against it from the Undersea. And once there, it is revealed that The Ghost was the traitor and Jude gets the faerie equivalent of chloroformed. Talk about losing father figures, am I right? That makes what, 3 lost father figures for Jude?? Depenfing on your definition of lost if Madoc counts or not. Anyways, Jude then wakes up underwater as a prisoner of the Undersea. I, again, really enjoy how well this whole scenario highlights Jude's uncanny ability to lie and play a role. Consider, she manages to trick Queen Orlagh and Baelkin into believing she was glamored into adoring them. Even though Queen Orlagh is a major power in faerieland and is older than High King Eldred himself. And even though Baelkin's Hollow Hall was full of glamored mortals, meaning that he definitely should have been able to tell Jude wasn't actually glamored. You'd think at least one of them would have been able to tell. Or that even Nicasia should have been able to tell, given that out of the three she had been around Jude the most. It just goes to show again that even though Jude is mortal, she is just as faerie as the rest of the folk. And at the mention of Baelkin and this whole ordeal, am I the only one who audibly gagged when Jude had to kiss Baelkin? I can't be the only one. Her murdering him? Fully justified, and not even for him slaughtering his entire family save for Cardan and Oak. Good for Jude.

Finally, let's skip to the end of the book (aka the five stages of literary grief) because this review is already much longer than I anticipated. First off, Cardan rgiving up the Court of Termites just to arrange Jude's release??? No one can say he is NOT a romantic. And when Cardan has been poisoned by wraithberry at the masquerade ball, completely and utterly inebriated, and yet he still manages to come to Jude's defense when she is being threatened by Baelkin? Chef's kiss. It truly shows that Cardan has come such a long way from despising her, and his attraction towards her, in the first book to openly doing things that can be interpreted as fondness for her, even in front of the entire court and even when poisoned. And from there, Jude manages to trick the antidote away from Baelkin and kills him in a duel, before returning to Cardan. This leads us to the second betrayal of the book: Taryn.

Taryn tricks Cardan into believing she is Jude while he is still sobering up from the wraithberry and asks requested half the army plus Madoc to be released from their oaths to the crown. To which Cardan agrees without question, due to how much trust he now has in Jude. I didn't see The Ghost's betrayal coming, but I had my suspcicions about Taryn from the get go. She was being overly nice to Jude the entire book, despite her betrayal with Locke in the first book. I feel like this betrayal hurt worse for Jude than that of The Ghost's, because Jude had decided to give Taryn a second chance, despite her broken heart from the first book. And then Taryn turned right back around and stabbed a second knife into Jude's back, right next to the one from the first book.

After that whole debacle, Cardan summons Jude back to his room later in the night. And this is when he asks Jude to give him control of himself back, in exchange for her hand in marriage, making her the High Queen of Elfhame. Obviously, Jude accepts because she stills feels like that helpless mortal on the inside, and what better solution is there for than feeling than acquiring more power and respect. The next day, Queen Orlagh demands an audience with the High King and reveals she is furious about the murder of Baelkin, her ambassador. She threatens war and almost goes through with it. Before she can, Cardan quite literally boils the sea and raises an entirely new island of Elfhame. Which, if you recall, the original 3 islands were raised up by Queen Mab herself. I also interpret this as foreshadowing, however for the next book and the whole Cardan prophecy, specifically the "...a great ruler will rise" bit. Because Queen Mab is regarded in faerie as the greatest ruler there was, having the Blood Crown forged for her descendants. I find it's only fitting that Cardan raises up an island of Elfhame, as Mab did, in his, arguably, first moment acting as a true High King of Elfhame. Orlagh then goes on to back down, still demanding justice for Baelkin. And Cardan gives it to her, by exiling Jude back to the mortal realm until she is pardoned by the Crown. (a loop-hole she could have exploited right then and there since she was the High Queen and therefore part of the Crown). Which enraged me to no end at the time, given that they had just gotten married (a fact that thrilled me.) Again I say: they are the definition of enemies to lovers.

That's all I have for y'all, folks. If this review erred too far on the side of essay, then too bad, so sad. I enjoy writing essays (clearly.)

[joequiinn]

The Dos and Dont’s of Fake Dating - inspo guide!

When I'm working on a story, I draw on all kinds of media as inspiration. I make lists of characters' fav movies or playlists that remind me of them, etc.

These are just some things I took inspo from/relate to Dos and Don'ts! I'm taking a brief pause in writing, so hopefully these will hold us over!

@sheneedsrocknroll92 and @steeldaisies because yall showed some interest!!

Playlist

I have a lil playlist full of songs that fit this fic's vibes in some way or another. There are various genres and tones and themes, so if you aren't afraid of bouncing around between types of music, this may be a fun way to vibe with the fic!

Music

Mystery by Dio - this is 100% THEIR song, I've associated this with Eddie and ice princess since day one; it will also make an appearance in an upcoming chapter~

Just Tonight by the Pretty Reckless - this song is one I associate with a particular chapter that is drafted but not out yet, and the vibes in general really mesh with some of the themes of this fic.

Ghost, HIM/Ville Valo, & Twilight Creeps - I just listen to these artists a lot while brainstorming and writing this fic; some particular songs are on the playlist mentioned above!

David Bowie & Fleetwood Mac - sooo ice princess isn't really a music person, because I think it's a funny contrast to Eddie; however, I do think she has a few Bowie and Fleetwood vinyls/cassettes lying around that belonged to her mom, so that's the extent of her music knowledge lol

Movies

Can't Buy Me Love - originally, I wanted to write a story inspired by this movie; the setup is ridiculous and I love every minute of it, so if you want to see an early prototype Eddie x ice princess, I suggest watching this one!

10 Things I Hate About You - this was also a movie that I considered using as plot inspo; although they're not the same, I do think similarities can be found in the characters to some extent, especially Patrick = Eddie.

Heathers - the vibes and fashion speak to be, and in another world maybe Eddie and ice princess would serve up some JD and Veronica vibes~

Halloween - it hasn't come up yet in the fic, but ice princess is a closet horror movie fan whose favorite is Halloween (no it's not her fav bc it's my fav what do you mean).

Bride of Chucky - Chucky and Tiffany speak to me on a spiritual level, and I feel like Eddie x ice princess give some of these vibes??? Also RIP Eddie Munson, you would've LOVED Child's Play.

Labyrinth - I picture ice princess having a lot of similarities with Sarah, which I didn't initially notice when I was first writing. There have been many lines I've written that I can SO clearly hear in Jennifer Connelly's voice, so she's a big inspo for this fic. Also, I love Bowie

TV

That 70s Show - putting aside all the real-world controversies, I was obsessed with Jackie & Hyde when I was a kid, and I think you can clearly see a similar character dynamic with Eddie and ice princess.

Married... With Children - have yall SEEN Kelly Bundy??? enough said.

Other

Evil Ernie - maybe you've seen my other Eddie posts, but I've mentioned before that the vibes of this comic series and it's titular character remind me of Eddie, so that's all.

Flight of Icarus - yes, yes, I know that this is literally a book about Eddie, but I still think it's worth noting that I've used the book as some reference, but for the most part I haven't included it too much (I also haven't read it sorry not sorry)

[mystycalypso]

Can i just say how much i freaking love the work you two are doing, Holly hell this is some wild stuff as veteran of hello neighbor you two are making me proud of this small community that is running on tumblr!

Also i hope you two don't mind me asking two questions.

Firstly, If one of you two had the control over welcome to ravenBrooks show what will be some things you two will change.

Secondly, What are you're thoughts on the artstyle of the show considering that Man of Action is working on the show?

Okay to start, I know I say it every time we get asks like this but y'all are genuinely so sweet and nice and it's just really really cool to see people enjoy our stuff. Like- especially fellow old fans of the franchise. I know Kaydin also really appreciates how sweet you guys are but just idk it feels like my fandom dreams come true when people like things like our au and art for this series

As for your questions...

Personally, to start, and this is Jack being slightly particularly- idk nitpicky? But there are three things I'd want to just- fix immediately and all three of them are Nicky related.

Number one, his shirt. I'm sorry guys but I've been here since the alphas and I didn't even realize this was his Sharkotron T-shirt. It's- It's just an egg

Number two, I realized after intense studying of Nicky's- face that it looks really weird when he's front facing, but his nose is facing right. So scenes like this suddenly seem- off model for no reason? I've poorly edited the image below to fix both of these

Yes I am too lazy to edit them properly, sadly. Did make his shirt logo still one colour for ease of animation. Idk why but left facing nose Nicky just looks less weird. Just me and kaydin? Maybe.

Number three- uh... that hairline is atrocious /lh

I know he wears his goggles in the show like constantly but also- this is a 13 year old boy guys. I was 13 once and I have a very flat (minus a widows peak) hairline, but it did not stop my hair from falling all over my face, and I think it's fair to assume the same for the kid who's hair refuses to behave anyway

Just fluff him up a lil (again I'm sorry these aren't better edits lol)

You don't even have to have it show when his goggles are up because like a headband or headphones it pushes hair back, or otherwise

Although ironically while I'm explaining what I would change in the designs, I don't mind the art style at all, actually I kind of love it. Sure some things you kinda of have to get used to, like their ears being pretty low to the head, but in general I think it really fits the franchise. I know it didn't look too drastically different from the pilot, but there's so many little nuances in the designs that just make it better (especially when you look at characters like Trinity)

I've told Kaydin a dozen and a half times how I think show Nicky is the franchise's second best design for him. The first being this singular piece of art from Nicky's Diaries, like I have gone on for hours about why this rendering of him is just perfect.

Third being fan renders, followed by the book artstyle, the pilot and finally games

And while other designs I wasn't sure about when watching through the show the first time, really just lore hunting instead of caring about anyone who wasn't Trinity or Nicky ngl, when I started doing my expression analysis I realized just how nice the designs and individuality of the characters are. If you put Nicky's expressions oh Enzo or Ivan's on Trinity it wouldn't fit and that's something I don't think people would expect from a Hello Neighbor cartoon.

They also have things I can just appreciate as someone who's special interest is animation (but doesn't have the patience to animate TvT gotta love audhd) for example, just having shading even in shots where they could completely go without it. It makes it less drastic and a smoother transition when lighting gets intense. They're also now afraid to switch up camera angles and push the rigs for a more intense shot.

Also something I really appreciate

Smear frames!

God I love smear frames!!! It's another one of those things that It's like- knowing how much this cost Tinybuild, they could've easily cut it down to save money. But it just wouldn't have been as nice without it.

Sure there are probably people who look at the fact that Man of Action is working on the show and are disappointed by the art style. But I say this entirely genuinely when I say I couldn't picture this show looking any other way and working as it does.

Yeah, they could've used more realistic proportions for these kids, but it works so much better when it's pushed like this when Mr. Peterson is nearly double their height. He's visibly a hulking intimidating man who could lift a middle schooler and lock them away. You fear his build which contrasts his outfit best (really feels like they took the book description of him and just pushed it, as we know he doesn't have this same stature in the games)

Plus it feels like in general, they stopped focusing on that dumb "Oh we need to hide things in every frame" which- thank God. Sure they are still hiding little details, hell I have changed a whole chunk of theory about Theodore's relationship with his son because of something I found on accident

This photo of (seemingly) 12 year old Aaron Peterson.

I'm not gonna go into it here lol because this is already long and it's supposed to be about the animation.

Are they still building mysteries and people are still crafting theories? Absolutely! Not a day goes by that I haven't been thinking about whether or not Aaron will ever be seen in the series in the present day and if he is, what he will be like mentally.

But the point is, they're focusing on crafting something GOOD over just theory fodder. Both animation and story-wise, and I can appreciate that so much.

Like- this is gonna be a really hot Jack take here so be aware.

I enjoy this franchise and it's spinoffs much more than the FNAF franchise.

Sure, Hello Neighbor one is and will always be awful. But I am 100x more likely to play Hello Neighbor 2 or Secret Neighbor than I am to play any fnaf game myself.

When I make fnaf content it is almost entirely AU based. Because the idea of getting lore super wrong since I just can't be bothered to try and figure that convoluted mess out is annoying. Why even try to solve lore if I need to read more than 10 books for a minor detail that becomes a major antagonist? We can't even get a full confirmed backstory for the main antagonist!

But with Hello Neighbor they realized that people don't want to be jumping through 50 hoops for lore. Yes we want mystery, but one we can solve without dumb contrivances and plot holes.

Do I still love FNAF? Of course. My senior quote is from William Afton ffs ("You may not recognize me at first, but I can assure you, it's still me") but one of these franchises is growing to better itself and gain more love, while the other is slowly becoming more of something I enjoy without trying to understand, and I think the Hello Neighbor animated series is- the pinnacle of this difference.

I love Welcome to Ravenbrooks. I love Hello Neighbor. I can’t wait to see what comes next from TinyBuild, and how season two will be even better than season one. (As proven by the fact that Nicky gets to yell louder in that one teaser clip alone than anyone got to in season one lol)