#still kinda teary
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Been dealing with some really bad self esteem shit lately...
#had big cries today#still kinda teary#basically imposter syndrome to the max#except like you know how imposter syndrome suggests you actually DO belong somewhere?#idk I just feel really stupid and like a fake#and im scared im doing bad shit#I'm afraid im in the wrong field#like I don't belong here#things with my supervisor have been meh#he has hinted at it a bit but maybe i read too much into it idk#the suggestion that I might be in the wrong field#and I feel it bc I feel so fucking stupid all the time#like I never know what I'm doing#and I don't even have anything to validate myself#just feeling like shit#like I don't belong#it's hard bc people always say everyone is like that - everyone is faking it#except I am SEEING people NOT faking it#im SEEING people do the right thing that i don't know how to do#and I feel so stupid#im just scared#idk#personal vent
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#first new thing on the new blog oooOooOO spooky halloweeny#me going crazy over here queueing n tagging a bunch of old posts w a tired n throbbing wrist#i luv u guys#thank u#headers18#halloween18#gn#truly thank u i’ve queued 65 n there’s still a bunch more to be tagged & queued#honestly getting teary at ppl’s kindness thank u#i’m just a silly little fool full of love for everyone who helped or had kind words n support#just a blog but i had it for so longgg#i had been feeling a bit of a block for quite a while too n seeing all the old stuff n what has appealed to diff ppl has kinda like#motivated me#ok leave the tags alone now harly
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I want him gagging on my straaaaaaaaap
#normalposting#face kinda red and sweaty eyes a little teary ughhhhhhhhhhh I want himmmn#still mad that I lost my dick in the breakup#she took my cock in the divorce#I should get another but it’s like. I’m not even dating or looking for anything rn.#cockless swag
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i've noticed that as i'm getting older i've started showing my feelings outwards more, which is really nice but that also means that i cry a lot more, which i'm not really accustomed to so i feel a little bad about it, which i shouldn't because showing feelings ain't bad, but still
#still feeling a little weird so i've been a little teary#sorry for talking so much :[#there's just a lot in my mind today#me saying stuff :]#vent#kinda
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Hey! Happy new year!
I just want to thank you for pretty much single handedly pulling me into the Percy Jackson fandom ❤️❤️. Your posts make my day ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
*wipes very real tears off my cheeks* i feel like i just got hit by the care bear stare fr what a sweet sweet message to start the year with <33 i'm kissing you on the head fr (and making you a batch of blue chocolate chip cookies hehe)
i LOVE that i was able to pull you into the fandom without even meaning to hehe tis a knack i have ;) and honestly it makes me so happy to know i've had a part in brightening your days--even if it was just marginally <3
happy new year to you too! i hope 24 is kind to you and that it's filled with so much love and light <3
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now my logical followup is rewatching rogue one for the first time since seeing it (multiple times) in theaters i believe? Will i cry a lot, which i am always prone to do w/media & things but all the more so lately, it seems
#and having a whole [at least one season's arc of prequel for Best Character] will surely just make it a more regular experience#also was thinking hm i'd like to rewatch especially those episodes of the Visible [lgbtq TV history] eps that akd narrated then was ft in..#eps three and five respectively i believe (the one in between like Eh) but both did already make me cry lol. how'll that go now#not like a difference in reaction like ''wow that's sad / moving'' i'm just more proximate to reacting to that in turn by tearing up fr lol#always something when like. the very specific Stressed Abt Life i actually cry over directly is just like#being stressed Enough but then also having to try to Talk. only lately do i realize that being autistic may have always been relevant thus.#& i don't think it's like A Bad Thing either b/c crying is bad (hooray for crying) or i think it's bad it comes all the more readily to me.#even if it's still like [augh. media] or [i'm burnt out / overwhelmed / bit of a meltdown feature as it were] Particulars for me lol#think the last ''i'm crying b/c i'm just like sad kinda encompassingly'' instance was like. once in 2017? & god knows when prior to that.#anyways i've had nothing going on on paper that'd be ''impressive'' but i've done nothing but Become More Powerful in past years.#and in a good way lol. all the less of any hurdles or whatall in going ''oh that's sad :'('' abt what i would already find sad. & i'm yknow#elevated & vivacious with it oft lol. like my other [crying scenario] is a lil burst of teariness b/c i got riled in a Good excited way lol#my power strength confidence stats are up so like hell yeah i'm weeping over media where i'm sad all the more easily lol#plus me and everyone else eh#unless you don't really. in which case hell yeah to that too#rogue one
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Guys did it seriously take me almost 3 years to realize that the rabbit plush was in The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet’s cover art like literally wearing the freaking hat
#i’ve LITERALLY played this game since release#how did i not notice that#also i played the world hasn’t even started yet again tonight and#i kinda got teary thinking about how long this game has been out for already#how far wxs has come#how far they’ll keep going#how i STILL think about them on the daily#i think i’m just having an emotional day but god#project sekai#wonderlands x showtime#wxs loving hours always
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certain parts of the bus game ost hit different after all of the Business
#Teary-eyed Once Gentle Soul#I Watched As You Rotted Away#The Mirror said that I Still Remember Hope#bats speaks#fly my wings always kinda got me but ououhoouhgouhuoohugouhgohg
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lizzy mcalpines old instagram videos are something that can be so personal…
#purrs#ive been following her since emily king reposted her cover of ‘no room’ w zoe sparks and. good GOD. she was studying abroad when i found her#and i was going abroad the next semester and her songs she wrote in valencia lit my way and were so formative and personal for me i still#get teary watching them. and so many of the artists she covered and collabed w back then (including zoe) became so important to me too. AUGH#it’s cringe to say i knew her when but like… i knew her when!!!! and i do kinda miss the old days when she would post more of her singing#and her covers / originals im sooooo proud to watch her shining now bc she’s like a huge deal and it’s like. i cried myself to sleep in#brighton watching her sing abt heartache and homesickness 6 months in the past in valencia. insaneeeee. i love her ��️#lizzy
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My mom made me watch Life (1999) calling it a light comedy and maybe I’m soft but that shit was depressing
#I mean I overall still found it pretty funny#just kinda heavy too#that scene where#Claude got out of the car made me teary eyed#anyway bring back bloopers please
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Hope you're doing ok today! ❤️
a little better than yesterday…haven’t cried yet, and more importantly haven’t cried in front of everyone at work today 😅
#kinda got teary eyed when this person from regional gave me some encouragement saying she appreciates me and all i’m doing#while my boss was right there too so that gave a little confidence boost#though i’m still on the train that i’m not good enough and not doing enough#and my lab is such a mess it’s overwhelming me and my newbies while showing promise i think i gotta push harder to do more#and i mean the stuff they’re working on is priority and everything’s priority#and it sucks cause this one guy i have is out today so i have to stay late until this other guy comes in and i don’t get paid for it#so i’m trying to tell myself that all these bad feelings im having is just stress but…it feels like it’s my fault#i’m sorry all i’ve been doing is whining lately
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about to overthink for a second.
#this is gonna be about 🐺 <- my anon not a furry. anyway. they are a lovely anon from many many years ago who liked teen wolf so they used to#send me asks about that and eventually questions about myself and nice messages and stuff. this happened so long ago i am talking 2019/2020#and for some reason this lovely anonymous person kept coming back every few months with a nice message and it just makes me crazy. cause#they came back a few days ago and i was not expecting them to be around after all this time#and it made me kinda emotional ? -> hence this post. like to think that ppl can be so kind. but also. they saw so many versions of myself#and they still loved me in every single one. i feel like i change so much cause i am not really sure who i am or how to present myself#online so to have an anon come back and still love you despite everything is just indescribable#am i making it a bigger deal than it actually is? idk maybe! but i am just a girl and i get a bit teary over ppl being lovely#and 🐺 is the loveliest of them all#i hope you’re reading this and know that i love you#effie talks to the moon
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PET-NAMES ᯓ★ kirishima eijirou x f ! reader. m—dni / f*wb / not proofread
kirishima accidentally calls you ‘dude’ in bed while you’re riding him for the first time—it wasn’t intentional, he calls everyone that, and it became a habit to regard his friends as ‘dude’ when things get crazy, and this was definitely crazy.
you technically are still his friend and he calls you that all the time, though never when you fuck. you just end up stopping in the middle of it because you’d rather hear your name instead of ‘dude.’
he was getting so close too.
kirishima can’t help but whine when he feels you stop, teary eyes opening half way while his hands grip onto your hips trying to bounce you up and down to feel the pleasure once more, “n-no… w-why’d you stop?” he asks, with a pout on his lips.
“dude?” and he realizes his mistake that manifests a bright flush on his cheeks. he makes up for it when he moves on his own and you’re just sitting back watching him buck up into you, alongside spewing a string of soft curses and your name in breathy moans.
thinks he’s in absolute heaven right now, how this position makes it easier to see all of you in full view. the way your tits bounce or how your face contorts when he’s fucking into you.
you didn’t move at all but that’s fine, “yeah, an angel like you should just feel good.”
and he’d ask for a kiss but you didn’t want to as ‘punishment.’ so he clicks his tongue.
kirishima sits up abruptly, shocking you, feeling his cock push even deeper inside you that has you crying out in his ear. he’d use your waist with one hand to roll against him. and you’re forced to cling to him. pressing your chest even closer on him and you could feel his hot breath on your skin.
he’s reaching with his other hand to cup your face while you unconsciously start moving your hips on your own without his ‘guidance.’
“i won’t say that again baby~ i promise.” and he’s kissing you, squeezing your cheeks together so you could open your mouth to let him in.
you shouldn’t be calling your fuck buddy ‘baby’ though, kiri.
well, you kinda like the sound of that anyway.
do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works
note : he didn’t mean to call you dude! he’s just in love and he might blurt out something else!!!!! (they should date they’re both dumb!!!)
#bnha smut#mha smut#kirishima x reader#kirishima smut#eijirou smut#eijiro smut#kirishima eijirou smut#kirishima eijiro smut#ᦾִ❤︎ by cola
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Kang Dae Ho/Player 388 SMUT
He’s so fine I had to
NSFW: Smut/Sexual Content, Mommy Kink, “Good boy”, Bondage Kinda
This is really short sorry
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“y/n pl-please” Dae Ho’s whimpers filled the room accompanied by the noise of your ass slapping on his thighs as you bounced on his dick. “No baby you can take it” you softly demanded him only going faster.
He attempted to pull his arms out of the rope only causing his biceps to flex. “Please m-mommy” immediately embarrassment flushed on his face at his words. “Oh baby i’m your mommy”? you teased him slowing down your pace.
He whimpered at your mock looking away, “Look at me” you grip his jaw forcing his eyes to meet yours as you speed up again making his dick go deeper with every bounce. You pull him in kissing him roughly.
He softly groaned at your speed through the kiss still ashamed of his earlier words. You pull away to look at him “answer me” you ordered tightening the grip on his chin. “Y-yes you’re my mommy” at his own words you felt his dick twitch inside you ready for another release.
“Then be a good boy and cum inside me, again” he nods at your words in obedience. His whiny eyes watched you speed up in awe. His dick twitched at how good your pussy clenched on him. He moaned throwing his head back at the overstimulation.
He had already came inside you five times but he looked so fucked out and submissive you needed more. He started to whimper your name thrusting up into your wet pussy. “Be a good boy and cum for me” you grip his neck making him look at you as he struggled to whimper through your choking.
With a few more twitching thrusts he pathetically moans letting his cum fill and mix with yours. He had a teary eyed look and whined as you bounced a few more times on his sensitive dick letting his cum drip out of you gliding all the way down to his balls.
“I’ll let you go now baby, your wrist must be tired” you cooed caressing his cheek.
#imagines#smut#squid game#squid game 2#squid game s2#squid game season 2#thanos#dae ho#player 388#player 001#player 067#player 333#player 456#gong yoo#squid game smut#squid game x reader#dae ho x reader#dae ho squid game#gong yoo squid game#thanos x reader#squid game imagine#netflix#south korea#squidgame2#fanfic#my fic#the salesman#the salesman x reader#the salesman x you#squid game x you
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sukuna likes a lot of things about you.
he likes the perfume you wear, and how recently his sheets have started smelling a bit like you even on the nights you don't spend in his bed. he likes the sound of your voice when you first wake up and how you're fairly slow to rise, so you tend to walk around first thing in the morning a little groggy and disoriented. he likes that you're intelligent—far more intelligent than someone like him deserves—but that you're also clever and quick witted. he likes that you're gentle but can still be headstrong, and aren't afraid to talk back to him sometimes. he likes how well you get along with his nephew. he likes how much his family likes you.
he does not, however, like what you just said to him.
"did you just say... my brother... is hot?"
you blink at him, seemingly taken aback by his horrified tone.
"no," you say with a little shake of your head, but sukuna has no opportunity to feel any sort of relief about the miscommunication. "i said he's kinda sexy."
sukuna feels every artery, vein, and capillary in his circulatory system throb in the wake of your words, and it's as close to a miracle as a man like him can hope for that he doesn't drop dead where he stands from the pure shock of it. his eye twitches at the corner as he continues processing what you've said, his gaze sliding from your blithe expression to his older brother on the other side of the apartment.
jin is in the kitchen with yuuji, washing up the last few plates from dinner. his six-year-old son had just soaked him with the spray nozzle on the sink a few seconds prior, and the two of them laugh together while jin uses the hem of his ugly knit sweater to wipe his face. he'd taken his glasses off after the unexpected drenching, and his damp hair is slicked back from where he ran his hands through it.
sukuna looks back at you, and finds your attention had followed his own into the kitchen. you're watching jin and yuuji interact with a little smile on your face.
sukuna snaps.
in what feels like the blink of an eye, the man scoops you up in one arm—tossing you over his shoulder as effortlessly as he might a half-empty bag of rice—and snatches up your nearby coats with the other before spinning abruptly on his heel towards the door.
"sukuna!" you gasp, calling his name shrilly as you beat your fist weakly against his back. "put me down!"
the spectacle unfolding in the living room draws yuuji and jin's attention towards it, watching in confusion as sukuna stomps in the direction of the genkan.
"ji-chan!" yuuji calls out in dismay, hopping down off the little red step stool he uses to reach the sink and running after him. "where're you going?"
"home," sukuna grunts out tersely, still clutching you in his grasp as you squirm, stuffing his feet into his shoes in the genkan and grabbing yours with the hand not pinning you in place. he keeps his back to his nephew as he reaches for the door.
"but why?" yuuji asks, a lilt of sadness in his little voice.
"sukuna..." jin laughs awkwardly in the doorway to the kitchen, just behind his son, trying to diffuse the situation at hand—the situation he doesn't even properly understand himself.
"papa," yuuji starts to warble, his voice pitching up and breaking sadly in the middle of his cry of protest. "ji-chan's stealing my friend!"
sukuna freezes. you stop squirming.
it goes quiet for a moment.
there's a bit of shuffling and a sound of exertion as, sukuna assumes, jin scoops his crying son up into his arms.
"it's okay, yuuji," you say forcing a gentle, comforting tone. sukuna feels your hands press against his back, and assumes you've propped yourself up so you can meet his nephew's teary gaze. "i'm not feeling very good, so ji-chan's gonna take me home now, is that okay?"
yuuji sniffles a little. "you don't feel good?"
"no," you tell him, "i'm feeling a bit sick."
"are your legs sick?" yuuji asks after considering your words, a bit less distraught than before but still sniffly. "is that why ji-chan has to carry you?"
sukuna feels your fingers twist into the back of his t-shirt.
you hum in agreement to the little boy's question, but the sound is notably strained.
yuuji sighs. "it's a good thing ji-chan's so strong."
"well, say goodnight, yuuji," jin—clearly a bit bewildered—cuts into the conversation as sukuna opens up the apartment door.
"goodniiiiiight!" yuuji calls to sukuna's retreating frame. "make sure you don't drop my friend, ji-chan!"
the door swings closed behind you both with a final dull thud.
the two of you are halfway down the sidewalk outside of jin and yuuji's apartment, still draped over sukuna's shoulder as he carries you, before either of you says anything. you're the first to speak.
"if you don't put me down i'm gonna start screaming," you say, and your voice is shockingly even considering the circumstances.
"you wouldn't," sukuna grunts dismissively.
"i absolutely would," you reply, and sukuna pauses in his stride when he hears the sincerity in your voice.
he just stands there for a moment, in the middle of the sidewalk, the quiet residential street thankfully deserted at this time of evening. he hesitates for a moment, wondering just how loud of a scream you'd be able to muster, and just how quickly it might draw a crowd on a street this silent.
he sighs, the sound resentful and defeated all at once.
"shoes," you order.
sukuna sets your shoes down on the ground, making sure they land upright.
"me, next."
carefully, sukuna lowers you down to the ground, holding you up long enough for you to navigate your feet into your waiting shoes. once both have safely been slipped on, he releases his hold on you and steps back. you turn to him with your expression pinched in irritation, your arms crossing over your chest.
"so, what was that about?" you ask him with an eyebrow raised.
"i'm takin' you home," he replies flatly.
"why?"
sukuna stares down at you, his arms crossing over his own chest to mirror your defensive stance. "you're lucky i'm not taking you to the hospital to get your head checked out after you called my lameass dweeb brother sexy."
you let out a long, world-weary breath, lifting a hand to your face and holding it over your eyes. sukuna just watches you, still pissed off but slowly regaining his senses as the cold evening air bites at his burning cheeks.
"you are..." you pause momentarily, spreading your fingers so you can glare at him weakly. "an idiot."
sukuna's jaw clenches. "you're the one lusting after a four-eyed old man who cries during kids movies."
"i'm never said i was lusting after anyone," you say, letting your hand drop to your side in exasperation. "i said he looked kinda sexy with his hair pushed back because he reminded me of you!"
there's a long, excruciating moment of silence that stretches out for miles between you.
sukuna... must have missed that part.
"oh."
"yeah," you bite back. "oh."
sukuna looks up at the streetlight overhead, if only as an excuse to avert his gaze from your withering stare. he squints his eyes like he's straining to see something far away.
"guess i might've... overreacted a bit."
"a bit," you repeat flatly.
a strong breeze rushes past, rustling the leaves on the trees that line the street and sending a shiver through you. sukuna looks down again, watching as you clasp your arms across your chest for warmth, and wordlessly takes his jacket off his arm to wrap it around your shoulders.
"i've got my own coat," you mutter sullenly as sukuna tugs the two sides of his jacket closed around you like a cocoon. you burrow your face down into the collar in spite of your words.
"you don't want mine?" sukuna counters, knowing fully well how much you like it when he puts his coat on you—and very much using it to his own advantage.
you purse your lips, the tips of your fingers appearing from inside the jacket to clutch sides of the zipper, pulling the garment protectively around your frame. "i never said that, either."
sukuna laughs, rolling his eyes.
"you owe your nephew an apology," you tell him. "we were supposed to read a new book tonight."
"yeah, yeah," sukuna says, waving his hand dismissively. it's of little concern to him, at this point. the kid's not particularly hard to make it up to; it'll only take a couple of chocolates and a trip to the park before the incident is forgotten entirely.
might be a little harder to clear it up with his older brother, though.
"jin faints when he gets needles, you know," sukuna tells you, his tone shockingly serious. "he only uses kids shampoo because he hates when it gets in his eyes and likes the fact it smells like strawberries. and he got so scared in a test of courage in high school that he pissed himself."
you look at your him with a look of absolute shock on your face.
"why are you telling me this?" you ask him incredulously.
sukuna leans down in your space, practically nose to nose with you, his expression stern.
"him and i share DNA—we're gonna look alike, and I can't do anythin' about it," sukuna says, something boyishly petulant in his tone. "i'm making sure you never think of that loser as being anything even remotely close to sexy ever again."
sukuna watches from up close as your expression shifts, a glimmer of mirth swirling in your gaze underneath the glow of the streetlight overhead.
"you really are an idiot," you breathe, half-way to a laugh, the sound is entirely too fond to have any of the bite you may have hoped.
sukuna smirks, shrugging indifferently. "he got the brains, i got the looks."
"he got the personality, too," you add pointedly.
sukuna leans forward, a hand slipping behind your back to pull you close, slotting his mouth to yours in a slow, searing kiss. as your lips part to welcome him, your head tipping back, he feels your grip on the jacket around your frame slacken. when your fingers twist into the material of his shirt to pull him closer, he grins triumphantly into the kiss.
pulling away, he revels in the slightly dazed look on your face. at the sheen of his spit spread across your lips. at the faint smell of your perfume that will cling to his coat just like it does to his bedsheets back at home.
"oh well," sukuna breathes, blissfully indifferent, leaning in close to kiss you again. and on the quiet street outside his brother's apartment, wrapped in his coat against the evening chill, you let him.
it doesn't matter what his brother has, sukuna decides, because he's got something much, much better.
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tags: nerd!bang chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, inexperienced chan, experienced reader, kissing, slight corruption kink, kinda toxic relationship, oral sex (f. receiving), face-sitting, exhibitionism lowkey (they’re in a locker room), nicknames (channie, baby, pretty boy), angst kinda?, porn with some plot, etc
wc: 2.06k
add. notes: these previews kilt me. they Kilt Me. therefore i present to u face-sitting with nerd chan. it's not entirely pwp but enjoy anyways :3
nerd!chan pt. 2 / nerd!chan headcannons / drabble #1
. . .
you’re not quite sure how you got here, honestly. one moment, you’re out at cheer practice with your girls, doing complicated stunts and diligently rehearsing the rigorous routines outlined for the upcoming game, all with your coach blowing her whistle every other minute of course. but the next?
you’re in a stuffy locker room making out with the captain of the mathletes team as he pants against your mouth, begging you for more.
it started off with a simple favour— you needed somebody to help you get your grades up after missing one too many classes, and chan was the best in the year; naturally, you asked for his assistance. he’d gone wide in the eyes and red in the face when you’d walked up to him after your shared lecture, leaving you biting back a laugh at the way he stuttered over his words over the prospect of teaching you, even refusing at first. to your fortunate pleasure however, you convinced him to agree in the end, which is how you ended up at your first session in his house, crammed together on his childhood bed and eyeing the walls of his room littered with spelling bee awards and academic medals from various competitions.
somehow down the line of those little sessions, you and chan grew closer, bonding over your shared love for movies and hidden local diners in your city, and the first time you hung out with him outside of the guise of studying at those very local diners, you found yourselves grinding against each other in the backseat of his beatdown car. you still remember the way he fumbled over himself, red ears burning and big doe eyes blinking up at you as you kissed him, albeit awkward with his lack of expertise but still sweet in the way he held you close to him. you suppose that’s where your little ‘sessions’ turned into a special type of studying, and where this charade began to unfold as your dirty secret.
which brings you back to now.
“need.. need you.” chan huffs, pulling away momentarily from messily locking his lips with yours as you breathe heavily against him. you blink for a moment as if processing his words, and a cheeky smile spreads across your face slowly as you take in his disheveled hair and blown out features. “yeah? what do you need, pretty boy?” you tease, trailing a single finger across his pale skin to trace the outline of his collarbone, feeling him shiver under your touch as a low whine escapes his mouth.
“need to taste you.” he mumbles shyly, and you coo at the way he hangs his head low as if he’s embarrassed to admit it, hooking a finger under his chin to get a look at his slightly teary eyes. when they finally make contact with yours, you can’t help but smile softly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips that has your insides positively melting.
sometimes you realise that despite his enthusiasm in engaging with you, chan is just a soft-spoken boy. he’s so untouched and pure that it makes you want to absolutely break him, to taint that perfect image he’s put on and quite literally corrupt him to become your toy. amidst that realisation, it also dawns on you that one day he’ll come to terms with the fact that this isn’t what he deserves, that this isn’t how he should be enjoying his firsts with someone who doesn’t even have the nerve to commit to him and how he’ll move on sooner or later to find somebody better that can give him what he wants without needing to hide it. the mere thought of it always leaves your stomach swirling in bitterness and disgust, but you swallow the lump it creates at the back of your throat because those are feelings you’re yet not ready to confront, and for now, if this is what you can have, then this is what you’ll take.
“and how do you want me?” you ask lowly, taking chan’s hand in yours and placing it on your waist, feeling the way he bunches up the fabric of your cheer outfit in his palm. “tell me.” you murmur. “tell me and i’ll give it all to you.”
“want you to sit my face.” he gasps out, hooded eyes staring at you as the words leave his mouth, and suddenly all your self restraint is snapping in half. before you know it, you’re yanking him by the collar of his brown jacket, smashing your lips together once more and swallowing the squeak of surprise that leaves him. the kiss is desperate, and wet, and sloppy, but neither of you care about it or the fact that anyone could walk in and see you both, far too lost in each other to give much of a damn.
“get on the bench.” you demand once you’ve retracted yourself from him, chan’s wide pupils searching yours to see if you’re serious. when you don’t say anything or move, he’s immediately scrambling for his balance and toppling back onto the wooden structure, drawing a small giggle from you that has his insides tightening and jeans straining.
“wait!” he blurts out as you move to hook your fingers into your skirt, swallowing when you raise an eyebrow at him. “keep it on.” he whispers, and you swear your heart stops beating right then and there. you nod slowly after a while in understanding, because that’s all you fear you can manage without actually jumping his bones in that moment.
“lay on your back.” you quietly instruct, and chan eagerly follows like a puppy taking orders from its owner. he yelps when his snapback falls off his head at the angle he’s at, but you’re quick to catch it, pushing it back onto his curls with a wink as you straddle his face. “keep it on.” you mimic his words from earlier, chuckling at the way his cheeks flush pink at your response because by god, he was far too cute for his own good.
“wait a minute,” chan’s eyes widen when he at last focuses his attention on you and gets a glimpse of your drenched core. “were you.. were you not wearing anything under your skirt?” he questions cautiously, nearly choking when you merely shrug. “i like easy access.” a devious smirk journeys across your face when you answer him, and chan has to bite back a moan at the idea of you parading around commando all day. his imagination doesn’t get the chance to run too wild, because by the time he can even register what’s happening, you’re already lowering yourself onto his awaiting mouth, groans leaving the two of you at the fact that you’re both finally, finally getting what you’ve been waiting for all day.
“fuck,” chan curses into you, and you hiss at the way his words rumble deep in his chest and travel through your core. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” he breathes out once more, swiping through your folds hysterically as your taste invades his senses. you’re everywhere, in his mind, his mouth, even his soul, especially from the way you begin to slowly rock yourself back and forth on his wet muscle. he swears he might die a happy man today when he feels your thighs smothering him on each side, hands moving up to grip the plush of them before he’s sticking his tongue out and letting you ride it.
“how are you so good at this?” you laugh to yourself in disbelief, biting your lip at the way his nose bumps against your clit perfectly each time he lets you move yourself against him. chan merely grunts in response, too engrossed in eating you out to even answer, and when he pulls you down to suck on your swollen bundle of nerves, you swear you see stars. the only thing heard in the isolated locker room you’re currently going at it in by now are the lewd slurps coming from his mouth along with your whimpers, which only get higher in pitch the more he continues to eat at you.
“so damn good.” chan keens. “so fucking wet, and sweet too.” his words only spur you on further, and before you know it, the telltale signs of your orgasm are creeping up on you. chan shows no signs of stopping though, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises and pulling you impossibly further down on his mouth to the point you feel like you actually might suffocate him. he doesn’t care, of course, he’d die a happy man to be smothered by your perfect cunt.
“channie, baby, wait.” you cry out softly when he envelops your engorged nub in his mouth and laves his tongue over it repeatedly, moaning obscenely against your pussy. “‘m gonna cum if you do that, wait, wait.” chan in fact does not wait, only speeding up his movements and continuing to lick at you until you’re shaking through the familiar waves of pleasure, a silent scream falling from your lips as you spray warm and wet on his tongue. it drips down his chin and your inner thighs, but neither of you care with you buzzing in overstimulation from the way chan continues to suck at you through the shocks, and him with you cumming on his tongue so pretty.
by the time you’re done, he’s still going at it, and it takes you gripping his hair and weakly standing up from his mouth to get chan to finally stop. when you look down at him from your awkward position, the lower half of his face glistens back at you, his plump lips and pretty features wet with your arousal and juices, prompting you to bite back a moan. you swing your leg over and shakily stand, petting your skirt down to get rid of the creases as chan sits up, still looking like he ascended to another dimensional plane. he’s rock hard in his boxers by now, cock painfully straining against his jeans, but he can’t find it in himself to get you to help him out.
“well,” you clear your throat after a moment of silence. “i should get going.” chan’s heart sinks in his chest at your words, and it must show in his expression too because you can’t seem to meet his eyes with the way your gaze stays locked on your twiddling fingers. “they’re probably wondering where i’ve been, so..” you trail off, trying to find a way to excuse yourself despite your mind screaming at you to do otherwise.
“yeah.” chan curses internally at the way his voice cracks. “yeah, you should go.” the sentence comes out more bitter than he intends it to, but he can’t help it. a part of him wants you to feel guilty for just up and leaving without even delving into what this is, what it could mean and become if you just allowed yourself to let it do so, but he’s come to learn that he just can’t expect that from you at this point. so, he doesn’t, instead choosing to wave bye as you sheepishly make your way outside the locker room to the field. once you’re out of sight, he sighs heavily, covering his face with his hands before flopping back down on the bench, his mind racing with thoughts.
because the simple fact is that chan knows. he knows you’re oh so out of his league, and you would’ve been miles away from his reach either way had it not been for the fact that you stopped him one random thursday afternoon to ask if he could help you out in economics 101. and yet, a part of him still longs for you, longs for your presence and the way you bat your eyelashes at him when he scolds you for getting a question wrong. he longs for the way your perfume wafts in his direction when you pass him in the hallways, ignoring his existence like you both weren’t tangled up in each other’s embrace the night before. even though his heart hurts so painfully, even though his friends all say you’re bad for him, even though he knows himself how bad you are for him, he doesn’t care.
for him, it’s always going to be you.
. . .
comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3
#✰ sunny's oneshots!#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz angst#stray kids angst#bangchan smut#bangchan angst#bangchan x reader#bang chan smut#bang chan x you
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