#still just so damn bitter
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was rereading some old chriseva fics……it’s been 730592405 years but honestly when I think about it, I am still bitter
It may have been 730592405 years but it's been actual 25 seconds since I last thought about them. I haven't stopped being bitter
I hope Julie is fucking happy BECAUSE I STILL AM NOT.
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it
And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#I’m sorry it’s just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#it’s not even about that you know#it’s about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didn’t need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#that’s not a good thing slskd it’s just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I can’t deny I feel a bit of that#but I’m also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didn’t need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chili’s tonight lmao#(why do I say that I don’t think my country even has chili’s)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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What Bellamy Blake deserved: NOT FUCKING THAT
#he didn't even get buried y'all#his body was left to rot Inside sanctum and the other's barely even mourned him#that's just so fucking disrespectful to his character and to bob In general#and It just goes to show how little jrat cared about his cast and his fans#this Is In honor of the fact that It's been over four years since bellamy died now#four fucking years and I'm still not over It#I don't think I ever will be tbh#because since glenn & chris died In both twd & ftwd and before s4 of tua came out-#there had never been a character death that has greatly upset me as much as bellamy's has#he deserved to fucking live y'all#he deserved to make It to the end more than any other character on that whole damn show#and I will always be bitter that he didn't#rip king we still miss you <3#bellamy blake#the 100
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https://x.com/vikingzfanpage/status/1867748114540433549?s=61
ummm excuse you justin, that is your best friend
lol really though!!
but nah, i touched on this in my tags of a rb of this tweet. like to me it isn't a huge deal or anything. they're obviously still close, they just don't talk in season (which they've both said before). but they spent time in france together this offseason and have also said that they love each other and are always gonna have that connection so i'm not too worried! friendships go through stages sometimes, and adult friendships are just kind of like that, even for football players i guess! (some of my absolute best friends in the world, my favorite people, i only talk to once a month if that. and like a real deep catch up session happens only a few times a year. it's just hard! and i can say for sure that me and my friends do not have nearly as much going on as these two guys lol)
but anyway i'm also gonna take this opportunity to ramble about some more ja'marr character analysis lol. so like, it's becoming pretty clear that ja'marr is deadset on keeping tee and joe with him as long as possible (not gonna get into contract details or likelihood at the moment because that's all still in the air of course. but like, ja'marr's intentions at least are clear at the moment). and it's also obvious how much ja'marr treasures his friendships! he loves his guys and thrives off of being around them! i wonder if like, the evolution of his relationship with justin has to do with how extreme he, tee, and joe are being about contract stuff right now???
like justin and ja'marr were SO close for awhile there. from the hyper competitive but clearly loving friendship they had going on in college. the way they were always together on the sideline and always doing their dances and making up ridiculous elaborate handshakes <3 the way all of their joint interviews involved so much laugher and loving glances. and even after joining the league still talking about each other in the media and how much they love and support each other even as they're still super competitive. hell, when i first became a fan in 2022, ja'marr would still be streaming with justin almost every week lol. (i think justin has stopped streaming and maybe doesn't even do much gaming-wise anymore, which may have been the main way they kept in touch tbh. like, many such cases for the men i know in my life lol)
and now they're at the point where they have so much else going on, that even though they love each other, the constant conversation and all that isn't as present. (and ja'marr has kind of made it clear that that started on justin's end. like, ohhh he doesn't text me back blah blah blah, however true that is 🤔). and i feel like, even though ja'marr probably understands, that had to have hurt. again he values his friends so much and is at his best mentally, emotionally, and athletically when he's around them!!! i wonder if that taught him something about like, "if i want to keep these people i love in my life as much as possible, i need them to stay on my team. justin went to a different team and something that was so beautiful and important to me changed. i can't have that for tee. i can't have that for joe. we need to figure something out" which like, could absolutely be me digging depth into something that isn't there but at the same time it makes sense motivationally for me!!! like did he sob on his agent's shoulder one night about how much he missed justin and how he couldn't stand the thought of that happening with tee (I WANT TO PLAY WITH HIM FOR ETERNITY!!!) and the agent was like, hey, we can do something about this actually! send me his info!
#sorry sorry tldr: a bunch of projection#personal note that transitioning from living basically on top of my college friends and talking SO MUCH every day#(to the point that we were getting sick of each other lol)#to like. adulthood. in separate states. different kinds of jobs. different friends and family...#yeah that shit is hard!#but you always love each other#and ja'marr and justin clearly still do even if it's not quite the same#ON A DIFFERENT NOTE#holy shit those comments#i know i should never read football twitter#but like damn#do vikings fans hate ja'marr that much??#surely y'all can't be THAT insecure about justin?? like sorry that this one year (also ja'marr's rookie year)#people are saying that ja'marr could be better than him#like regardless of whetehr or not you believe that#it's hard to say there ISN'T an argument for it. like triple crown wise#i'm not sure where i fall on it#but like damn. why are you guys so bitter about ja'marr??#also acting like ja'marr has actually insulted justin??#when these two have IN A FRIENDLY LOVING WAY shit talk each other since day 1 at LSU#like??? the competition is one of the main bases of their friendship lol#each other of them has always and will always say that they're the one that's better#jesus christ#stop pitting two bad bitches against each other etc etc#anyway sorry anon i just used this ask to spill some Thoughts before bed lol#ja'marr chase#justin jefferson#(i'm also NOT sober so i doubt much of this makes sense)
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Imagine you have a character, a broken, vicious man who bites and spits venom even at a person he loves the most, who pushes the buttons of his love just because this toxic familiarity is all he knows, just because it's all he feels safe doing. And then his love finds another person who brings out such a different part of them, a part this character never could or maybe just long forgot how to do. He drowns in jealousy, in his bitternes, he hurts his love, he hurts his love's beloved, their crew... And finally gets what he wanted. Finally has his Blackbeard back, finally can forget about the part of Ed he can no longer reach... But suddenly Blackbeard is unpredictable even to this character.
And suddenly everything changes as he slips and can no longer even enjoy the familiar toxicity because he saw something better and kinder and selfishly wishes for it too, despite it all. And suddenly he understands people around him, people who never saw the evil in Edward, and suddenly he realizes it's his fault. All of it, just a part of it - doesn't matter. He caused this and nobody is happy, not even him.
And then, despite everything, others start to care for him. They tell him "We think you're in a toxic relationship" as if they didn't know it was him who brought Blackbeard back and they hug him tight as if he wasn't the once to sentence them to this horror and they hold his hand when he panics. They experience kindness and hope in a miserable place, maybe a glimpse of what made Blackbeard so soft for a moment there. And when everything falls apart, when he takes the final tumble in this horrible dance he has with Blackbeard, somebody is there to hold him up. Somebody is there to criticize his drinking and make him a new leg and call him their unicorn. The character is "their bastard", he is part of them. He is part of something kind and accepting and he shyly embraces the new familarity-that-might-be, even when he still insults and retreats and bottles stuff up because maybe if he seems fine he can help others, maybe in the end he can be loved in a way as kind as theirs. Maybe he can have a family.
So once they are again in danger he takes the chance and speaks boldly and captures the ominous attention of the enemy. He takes a risk for them. He takes a bullet for it. He rests in the arms of his love and tells him he's sorry even when he could never accept the other's apology. He never gets the chance to try more and forgive more and try to be forgiven more. He can only ever serve as a tool for another character, can never evolve to existing on his own, to healing on his own.
You are Izzy Hands. You are drowning in your mistakes and the toxic familiarity you're too afraid to get out of. And once you dare to try...
The show would rather have you die than give you a chance at healing and happiness.
Your death doesn't prove a point and it doesn't mean anything. It's just cruel.
#Izzy hands#yes i am dramatic#yes i may be a spoilsport#whatever i am is also so incredibly bitter#because the way this story ended is disrespectful to us all#because even if we never fell as low as Izzy#this is still Our Flag Means Death#the show which never gave a damn about historical accuracy or brutal reality#a sit-com about silly gay pirates who get to joke and adventure and open up to each other and heal#so why does a character who has only just begun healing in any way has to die#what is the point?#why can't he leave the stage with the rest of his crew-family#finally opening up to them?#why does Ed and Stede deserve a happy ending but not Izzy?#ofmd#ofmd critical#i wish it wasn't
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Fuschia/Magenta?
#*deep breath kicks down uni door*#VERN!!! VERNIFRED!!! I GOT A HUGE BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!!!!! YES YOU!!!!#“we're only gonna read 1 chap of Don Quixote because it's too much to dive into.”#THIS COMING FROM THE MAN WHO MADE US READ THE ENTIRETY OF DANTES INFERNO#WHO MADE US WRITE 20 PAGE ESSAYS ON THE ODYSSEY#WHO MADE US FOLLOW HIS CANTERBURY TALES HYPERFIXATION FOR NOT 1 BUT 2 SEMESTERS#DISSECTING EVERY. FUCKING. CHARACTER. ACTION.#MAKING ME RESENT CHAUCER TO WHERE I COULDN'T WATCH A KNIGHTS TALE FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT#one of my all time favorite movies btw YOU MADE ME HATE THE THING I LOVED VERNIFRED#and you had the GALL to say the class only had 1 chap to dedicate to Don Quixote?#YOU MY FRIEND JUST DIDN'T WANT THE CLASS TO LOSE THEIR SHIT LAUGHING EVERY OTHER CHAPTER#IF YOU'RE AROUND HUMAN HAPPINESS YOU'RE LIKE A WORM DISCOVERING THE BAIT SECTION AT WALMART#ITS EASY TO READ FOR A CLASSIC HAS WIT IS BITTER SWEET AF IS TRAGIC IS FUN AND MAKES YOU WANT TO HAVE CRAZY MAN BIG DICK ENERGY#WHEN YOU HAVE A FOOT IN THE GRAVE#and the banter...THAT SHIT ROCKS#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THIS CAUSE OF MY OWN HYPERFIX WITH LUIS AND I'M READING FOR RESEARCH#these stories FUCK#I AM SO MAD#SO SO MAD MY PEERS AND I GOT A TASTE OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD'VE KEPT US ENGAGED#AND I AM MAD THAT I RESENTED THAT CLASS SO MUCH THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO TOUCH THE CLASSICS FOR A WHILE#and that it took me until I'm 31 WRITING A DAMN FANFIC IN MY SPARE TIME TO READ THE ENTIRETY OF WHAT I FUCKING MISSED OUT ON#astarion voice: IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!!!!#vernifred...can i can i call you vern?#look...i love you. you were one of the most humble profs i had i looked forward to going to class every mon and tues for lecture and reading#i get the hyperfixations my guy i really and truly do#BUT I STILL RESENT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THIS ONE#i finally get why luis loved this shit so much too and im seeing more connections with re4 now and it feels like the cherry on top of it all#vern....just....SIGH....GIVE THE DON A CHANCE MAN#FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN WHO WILL BE IN YOUR CARE#YOU KNOW...YOU JUST...MAKE ME...GRRRHFHFHHDJDJ!!! 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
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If Gale decided to ascend, Zelaia would not join him, and it would break her heart to turn down his offer, but she bear to leave her sister again, or to be so "perfect" and untouchable. She wants a normal life, one she can dictate and be in charge of. And losing Gale would be soul crushing, but she didn't fall in love with the God of Ambition - she fell in love with Gale Dekarios...
But I know in my heart he'd be visiting her every few months like an annoying gnat, asking if she's reconsidered, trying to seduce her, and ultimately he ends up playing himself because he just leaves frustrated and horny with nothing to call a win, while she gets the satisfaction of knowing his Godly duty can't be THAT great if he's still begging her to join him.
#I used to think Gale ascending would turn Zelaia bitter#But I actually think she'd just......move on#And when he visits she's like oh hello again sorry I forgot your name#And Gale is like DAMN IT She's still so sexy......
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woo young-woo sweetie look away while i beat ur mom's ass
#mine#eaw#the last few eps have been sm we're still trucking through but only on ep 12/16 & this BITCH????????#just say ur resentful ur daughter still has success & morals w/out ur hand in raising her & GO u weirdo#& also that ableist mf who went to her IDEC TO LEARN UR NAME ILL BEAT UR ASS TOO#'oh she's nepotism benefactor bc her dad knows our boss' THATS NOT WHAT IT MEANS U DUMB BITCH#DID U EVEN ACTUALLY GRADUATE COLLEGE I DONT BELIEVE U DID#she literally has credits to back herself up & she can damn sure hold up in court when it matters#ur all just bitter losers i wish i could explode w my mind#LOOK AWAY WOO YOUNG-WOO WHILE U GET BEHIND ME SO I CAN START SWINGING
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Lol getting an offer to go sailing on my brother in law's home made boat... I think I'll pass thanks.
#i do Not fuck with the sea#I don't even fuck with boats#I'll get in a boat on the river#but not in the damn Sea be for real#and especially not on your home project boat#i mean he's not sunk yet so it must be competently made buuuut still#I'd like a proper quality control process thanks#i know sailing is a rich ppl sport but i know so many not rich people with shitty little boats that it's not#my default opinion of the sport#it's like u can't tell if somebody's rich or bot by if they've gone to disneyland bc they might Live next to it!#and if u only have to pay for the park it's considerably less expensive#meanwhile their damn trailer is parked outside my bedroom window and blocks the light bc#they don't have space for it And the boat 😡#im not mad! im just bitter
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I wanna join in on the Rudy writing fun but my brain will not do romance right now. I've become so burnt out and my personal hatred is too strong. I look at people and think "Yeah. You'd just screw me over. Love isn't real. Nobody could care about me like that. Don't even try." And I hate it I wanna believe again and it's effecting my writing at this point. Why must people screw me over so much to the point I'm just totally broken mentally. Fuck humans honestly especially men.
#vee's not important life updates#vee's random thoughts go brr#and i know good men exist so don't come at me with that. I'm just frustrated and broken.#I like to believe theres still love in the world and maybe I'll find it but as time goes on I'm just getting bitter#watched a relationship between two people fall to pieces- watched someone I believed whole heartedly was good turn sour#thought he was a good man- wished he was my dad instead only for him to prove he really was never that different#he's just like all the other shitty men in my life that i grew up around and I just didn't know it#I thought i found a safe space but instead he screwed over his own family and me. why? why would you fucking do that?#is it so damn hard to be good to people? to be gentle and not change?
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yknow the difference between our rampant horniness and that on twitter/insta/tiktok is that i believe we're all old and sensible enough to understand that we wouldn't say any of the depraved shit we think to their faces, and as far as i know most tumblr fans are just kinda down to earth, whereas on twitter i feel like fans like to get up into their faces and just shout whatever they're thinking like
friends have some respect, yes im attracted to these men but i at least have the decency to keep my umazane misli in my brain and on my silly little tumblr blog these guys are people too and if someone randomly went up to you to tell you they wanna fuck you you'd be uncomfortable too
all that to say that if any of the guys do come here
please do not
and absolutely do not look at my tags 🫡
#i use my tags to write my innermost thoughts and uhhhhhh#well some people are a bit more daring than me#but still#some umazanes being mislid pretty much on the daily#and yknow if they seek it out themself thats on them#i know im not gonna censor myself again so if i wanna scream in the tags i damn well will#idk if the tone of this sounded negative or bitter but i just love these guys sm and i just want people to treat them well#were all a little bit crazy on tumblr but at least were in a respectful little bubble :)#i love all you crazy people and i love these sweet guys 🩷
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i've learned a lot of things by taking an anatomy class like how apparently your scapulae are supposed to lay flat against your ribcage and should not protrude from your back and also i've been living with a musculoskeletal condition that has been causing me severe pain and upper body weakness for as long as i can remember
#scythe speaks#scythe complains#i've known this for a little while now this isn’t anything really new#but i'm just bitter. this has been a thing ever since i was a teenager and it's been causing me problems for that long.#but better late than never i guess. but there's still not much that can be done about it even now.#i don't have the time money or energy for something like strength training or physical therapy#and surgery is off the table#but hey i've lived with it for this long#it's called scapula alata or scapular winging btw#also apparently it's slowly fucking up my back more than it already was fucked up#there are so many problems in my daily life that are caused by my fucking shoulder blades.#sorry i know this is out of the blue and i doubt anyone gives a damn but god this hurts and it's so fucking annoying#i just need somewhere to vent#vent tw
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openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.
#like it makes sense obviously that people would. i guess. but i thought most people who didn't like it just didn't like#it because they didn't like patrick all that much or it was too different or they were just upset about fob's hiatus.#like idk i feel like calling patrick's lyricism bad is a little unfair.#like not to compare 2 bad bitches but he's right there. so pete writes comparatively just as cheesy lyrics.#i like that. don't get me wrong. 'cheesy' as a compliment. but like. patrick's lyrics r 2 cheesy 4 u? the fob fan?#like yes he uses a fash buzzphrase in 'dance miserable.' but i am almost certain he didn't think through the implications of it#and 'people never done a good thing' has like. weird liberal ableism in it. but that one was a bonus track and once again reads#very much like something he just. didn't think about very hard. still bad. but it's better than him doing it on purpose.#especially given how much of soul punk actually is actively trying very hard 2 be progressive and the former within the context of the song#reads more as overly cynical than like. actually fash. but he should've phrased it in a non fash-y way. yes.#it reminds me of the 'manifest destiny' line in 'high hopes' by panic actually.#like that's a buzzphrase that they totally didn't think through at all and that's. bad. really bad.#but it's also kinda funny given how liberal democrat these bands and ppl tend to try to come off.#like nobody caught that in 'high hopes?' all those writers in the room and nobody caught that?#was it like a 'maybe someone else will say something' '*crickets*' kinda sitch on that one bc. lol. lmao even.#i hope the white liberal guilt sits with them on that one.#but i digress. soul punk. that's two songs (including one bonus track) with a questionable lyric each.#otherwise both perfectly fine songs.#that being said yeah. sometimes the cynical liberal stuff grates on even me a little at times. like i feel it i really do and i think#patrick makes some important points but it's so bitter. even when he's writing *more about relationships it's just like damn dude.#(*asterisk because everything is political.)#AND I GET WHY. obviously. patrick is just like that a little bit and he was Going Through It. more relevant on truant wave tbh#because i think that mindset works better on soul punk.#i could understand the cynicism maybe tanking somebody's opinion of soul punk but it doesn't really bother me enough to alter my score.#also i understand it's the best song on the album but idk about ppl saying cryptozoology as a single. doesn't totally defeat#the purpose of the song and it would've also been powerful as a single#but it's just such a beautiful Fuck You to have it as a hidden track.#patrick stump#myevilposts
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i used to be really nervous about going back to my hometown because ‘what if i run into someone i don’t like‘ but like. the few times that has happened the people who have done be dirty have just 100% ignored me/run away from me. even despite me trying to be like heyyy. lol. which i guess means im a lot more confrontational than other ppl....
#lowkey bothers me though cause im like bruh you were so rude to me in highschool and youre gonna act like im the bad guy........#can you just own up to it and we can get it over with?? now it's awkward!!!#like im so down to have a positive interaction and not have to have this bitter taste in my mouth anymore..#also the way that multiple of these ppl work at a starbucks that i frequent#and had to take my order#LIKE I GAVE YOU MY NAME YOU OBVIOUSLY RECOGNIZE ME#idk i feel like if it were my me i would just apologize and get it over with#cy says stuff#personal#truth is i am a lot better with confrontation than other ppl but that's cause i was forced to learn those skills at a younger age..#it is kind of cringe that ppl don't wanna face their past or own up to their past mistakes ngl#anyways... my friend invited me to go to starbucks tomorrow and i am probably gonna run into the same girl who would spread rumors about me#and constantly update me on my ex despite me asking her not to#and also called me stupid for not doing well on a quiz i literally wasn't there for........#thing is no one liked her i was just nice to her cause i am a nice person.. and then she was so mean to me... like wtf...#and when i told her i didnt want to sit next to her anymore cause she was mean to me she started bawling#like damn girl okay i still dont want to be your friend though cause you kind of suck#and i guess she still holds that against me to this day lol. or at least the last time i saw her which was like. december#anyways im hella jetlagged and i woke up at midnight again. intrusive thoughts go brr#it'll be fine i am strong
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mourning all the normal childhood/teenage experiences I never had and never will because of my mom
#Like it’s on my dad too but it was my moms decisions and he just let her control my life#So many things I missed#Like I will never go to a high school dance or sports event and that’s in my mom#I know it’s not a big deal but I’m spending my high school years rotting in my room#I only have two friends and most of the time I feel like they’re only friends with me out if pity#It’s so upsetting and I want what everyone else has so bad#even the dumb shit my friends in cousin talk about like I’ll never get that#my parents still are constant talking about all the cool stuff they did in high school and I’ll never get that#I can’t even go on a walk by myself right now#even my brother who was homeschooled during his high school years got to go to the local high schools events because he had a ton of friend#and they were constantly going places and hanging out#I don’t get that and I never will and it’s making me bitter and jealous and I hate myself#Damn that’s a long ass ramble#screaming
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re: your modern folk reblog, do you have folk that you love to listen to? 👀 i've been looking for recs
ANYTHING GORDON LIGHTFOOT!!!!
#i'm screaming this because i still have no true gauge re: how popular he is outside of canada (like i think Popular but not AS POPULAR AS HE#SHOULD HAVE BEEN)#sorry not meaning to scream at you#i just passionately love gordon lightfoot and he died recently and i miss him#anyway if i could read your mind is a Perfect Song#the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald is peak Epic Folk Song Not About Love#literally anything of his. anything at all#beautiful is also a gorgeous one#alberta bound is a banger and just so damn canadian <3#daylight katy? amazing#bitter green!!!!#ME AND BOBBY MCGEE!!! (a cover but he really made it his own)#ok i'm done now. sorry if you already like gordon lightfoot this post will be extremely unhelpful <3#deaadcrush#ask
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