#still is absolutely and definitely my last step tho

[criminal-sen]

Damnit I thought I was almost done with Big Art but somehow had mentally compacted this huge step (shading the foreground aka Mayuri and all the hands) into like. a few minutes of work? Just had shrugged it off as a last minute brush-up kind of thing. Which it is not lol

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

Old writing especially on Bo's and then Vincent's part. I realised that I was writing as if their s/o showcased their strength during later on into their relationship in the first three slashers, apologies.

A/n: I am no longer writing for Hannibal or any hannibal characters as I myself have forgotten my own perspective of them.

Slashers x reader who's stronger than them but doesn't look like it!

Warnings: blood and death on the ghostface duos part, very slight mentions of nsfw. But mostly fluff.

Slashers in this: Bo sinclair, Vincent sinclair and Thomas Hewitt, Michael Myers, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher (poly)

Relationship: romantic!!

Bo

It clawed at his ego, he's a pretty mean bastard and you know it 🫵.

He first thought of you as the most fragile and weakest person ever (and cutest), I mean, could you even lift a pot half filled with water?

Undoubtedly he used this assumption to 'help you' or more so at times tease you. He loves seeing your reactions and most definitely not because you're so small and kind to him, pfff of course not.

He just absolutely loves lifting you up and over his shoulder and he's definitely an ass guy. He loves ogling and smacking your ass but he won't get to that level until many many months later on. But he's still going to stare.

“Oh Bo, I think there's a rabbit under the truck!” You exclaimed to Bo as you noticed something white and moving below.

"An animal? *sighs* hold on, I'll get rid of that p-" He suddenly loses his ability to formulate words as he witnesses you lift the goddamn fuckin truck with one arm, and indeed there was a rabbit underneath.

“*gasp* it's so cute!” Bo cannot believe what he just saw. Damn, he gotta stop smoking so much it's messing with his brain. He's just staring at you as you pet the timid rabbit with your 'scrawny' arm.

He must admit he does fantasize about you lifting him up and shit, or topping him in bed. Whatever he's feeling that day, and he would rather swallow sand than ever admit that last part.... But y'know if you're up for it-

His cocky and prideful attitude seemingly making an apparent change, he would hold a cup or item you need above your head with a shit eating grin watching you get frustrated with him. Or when he would make jabs about you being too weak to lift three chairs at a time and would offer to help you. (So he could walk beside you.) But now... He still fucking makes jabs at you being weak, just to fuck with you even though he knows it's far from the truth. He loves making you seem like the little helpless princess and him being the asshole shining knight in armor.

You wouldn't mind tho would you? It's a win-win, you get to spend more time with your boyfriend and he gets to spend time with his girlfriend.

Vincent

So gentle and caring with you. He's gentle and caring with whoever he is with but your size just makes him think one wrong move and he's accidentally breaking your arm. And cause of this he can't help but be a worry wart at times and way too protective. Not budging even if you reassure him you're perfectly capable of doing something that requires strength.

During one of the dark evenings you walk with your lover in the forest, the side of the forest where there isn't roadkill so that you can breathe without torturing your nostrils. And finding some fire wood to spend the next dark hours star gazing and ranting to him while the sound of the fire crinkling and burning the wood serves as a nice background music.

Every step you take you hear the crunch of the dead leaves get crushed under your foot, both of you holding your flashlights. You have the warm and slightly calloused hand of your Vincent holding yours affectionately as his thumb brushes against the back of your hand and knuckles, gently tracing over and feeling the ridges and bumps.

You notice some fallen bark and shine your flashlight on it. "Vinny, look there's some firewood over there!" You exclaimed and shined your flashlight elsewhere, looking around more until you had shined it directly on a tree right in front of you that was occupied by a scary looking arachnid, its front limbs moving in a sluggish and relaxed fashion.

You let out a startled yelp and out of instinct your fist went to swing at the spider who somehow successfully managed to not get hit in the nick of time. This also startled your boyfriend who looked worriedly at you, his eyes scanned over to see that you were.. Fine! But the tree you punched wasn't. It has a big dent in it while the flesh of wood was cracked and damaged severely around the impact along with many splinters.

"I'm so sorry Vincent! There was a spider and I got scared!"

He almost let out a breath of relief knowing it wasn't anything serious but he can't get his eyes and mind off the injured tree. Did you... seriously do that? He gently took your hand and examined it, it seemed perfectly fine except for redness, light bleeding and a couple splinters on your knuckles.

He slowly raised one of his hands, pointing towards the punched tree. 'Did you do that?' Is what's probably going through his head. You chuckled sheepishly and nodded in confirmation. He sighed. For now, he'll worry about your fist.

Does this interaction change how he treats you?... Kind of. He isn't too pushy as he was since he now knows how capable you are of handling yourself but there's still that feeling in him, something that gnaws at his inner core for him to help you. He wants to feel useful and to serve you in any way he can, so...please let him dote over you still..? (Of course you will, you can't say no to him.)

If you want to pick him up he'll entertain you, though he'll be extremely flustered and giddy about it. He likes this way more than he should (in his opinion). How comical is it? He's a large 6'1 grown man being carried princess style by his tiny s/o. Despite all this, he still hopes you need him as much as he needs you.

Thomas

Trust me when I saw it really took Thomas by surprise. He's a really big guy and you say this little thing is stronger than him? Oh please, humor him after dinner.

He's a busy man with a lot on his plate, and you seemingly looking like the most harmless person in the world doesn't help, he constantly feels like he has to tend to you and supervise you from a certain officer.

Will usually not allow you to help him when he's working, it depends. He feels guilty letting yourself get caught up with all this but if you insist he'll gladly accept the extra hand with honest gratitude. But generally- 'Back away honey, you might get dirty.' Is what he wishes he could say.

In his eyes you're a saint, an angel. Made perfectly to fit in the space between his thighs he's sitting down and there's no flaw in the way his large hands cups your cheeks with those pretty eyes of yours staring into his – no room for mistake or complain. You're adorable.

The first time he allowed you to help him you admire your handsome behemoth of a lover chopping wood. Appreciating the rolled up sleeved that gave you a good view of his arms, his muscles flexing as he brought the axe down – after he was done with the first small batch of logs you hurried to grab the others.

Tommy watched with amusement and adoration before shifting his weight to help you but stopped as you started walking towards him five logs resting effortlessly in your arms. It didn't even seem to faze you as if it was just you were only a bunch of baby ducks.

Tommy watched in silence as you laid them out on the table, still kind of processing it before nodding his head in gratitude and resuming to chopping them up. He'll bring this up later, maybe. For now he'll focus on getting his work done and spending more with you, and your soft words.

He doesn't really care if you're stronger than him or not, as long as you love him and don't try to run away it's all good. If you want he'll stop trying to do everything for you even though he knows you don't need any assistance – he's so used to working around the house he feels restless not doing anything at all.

If you want to carry him, do it. He's all yours but please do it in private he won't be able to handle the embarrassment if his family sees it. And although he prefers to be the dom he doesn't mind it if you wanna take charge every once in a while and throw him around.

Plus, it creates something pleasantly warm in his stomach.

Michael.

He thinks he's going insane. (He already has.)

He's Michael Myers, the most ruthless killer Illinois has ever seen for the past decades. And you're saying this small creature that he's inhabited has greater strength than him... Yeah, no.

And then he sees you picking up three bodies out of the house with your bare hands while cleaning up the evidence of his the murder he left, quietly observing you. He won't admit it but it kind of irks him. He's supposed to be the one with power in this relationship and quite frankly he doesn't know the true extent to your power.

He warms up to it eventually – although it's more of he doesn't give a fuck anymore. You're not completely weak and helpless? Great, he doesn't have to worry about you as much. Key word: as much. He still does worry a lot when you're out for long hours – he's not worried you're injured or in danger (not anymore) but more as in you're not leaving him, right? Or ratting him out to the police?

Do not ever attempt to pick him up or anything even remotely close to that unless you want a glare from those void, soul-less eye sockets of his mask Or if you want a love tap on the head and cheek. If you give him enough guilty smiles and let go of him he'll let you off the hook. if not, bear the consequences. (They don't even do anything anyways, lmao)

He feels so incredibly annoyed when you start treating him like a child, telling him to go sit down or lie down in bed after he pulled a few all nighters and the fact you successfully manage to pull him back into bed: God dammit, why the hell are you even so strong and you're so small!? Grumpily he does stay put but only if you're with him too.

A man feared by hundreds, if not thousands because of the sheer power and mercilessness he leaves in trails of every step he takes in public... And then there's you, you're half his size and you have more control over him than he'd like. He'd never kill you though, not intentionally, but that will also most likely not happen.

Speaking of killing, don't think he won't murder someone if they attempt to hurt you and gets their ass kicked by you anyways. You attack, he lands the finishing blow. Don't protest, he won't listen.

Billy n' Stu

They're both pretty lean so you can believe it, if not for your given figure. They both adore it, so who cares? Billy and Stu will, eventually.

It was in the heat of the moment, you tell yourself but you remember in vivid detail the day where you saw the bloody escaping victim running towards you – adrenaline pumping in your veins, your mind immediately went into fight mode and swung a fist at their skull. You remember the sickening crunch as blood slowly pooled from their fractured cranium when they lifelessly fell down to the floor.

They first helped you with the lingering guilt first before Stu started annoying you.

''Can you punch me like that next but with a bit less-''

"No!"

Alright, no worries but now he's asking you to lift him up to reach things that he does not need help on. Maybe even just carry him and run around the house. (Don't be fooled, he just wants to be carried around like a child again.) Fluttering his eyelids at you and holding up a jar of pickles. 'Y/n, I can't get this to open!' Yes he can.

Billy, although tries to act neutral but can't help but let his thoughts wander. 'Wow... Strong girl... Can choke me...' He thinks to himself as he watches you and Stu. Not as if he'd ever admit that. He pretends he's disinterested in getting in your arms - no, he just doesn't wanna embarrass himself. But if you persist he'll begrudgingly agree. He indeed liked it.

Stu obviously takes a positive reaction, he loves getting dominated. You can take that however you like. Billy on the other hand feels conflicted, if he's not stronger than you then how will he stop you if you try to leave them or plan to rat them out? Assuming this is during the beginning of your relationship. But overtime the more he takes a good look at your face those thoughts will slowly drown away, there's no way you would, right?

The slashers will probably swoon if you agree to help them place the bodies where they want them to, like hanging them in the trees or something.

Billy keeps it more lowkey. Preferring to keep you in his lap and rest his chin on top of your head. Stu takes your strength to his advantage. When he gets drunk he'll whine and ask you to carry him to bed, and take his socks off. Annoying fuck but you love him either way. And Billy too.

[nanamis-bigtie]

pina colada

↬ gojo x afab!reader | lucid love ↬ lucid love masterlist // jjk masterlist // ao3 version

cw: smut, reader has a vagina (no excessive body descriptions), piv sex, aphrodisiacs, unrealistic sex, creampie (like...a lot of it), belly bulge, reader is implied to be much smaller than gojo, dumbification if you squint, slight degradation (reader is called a slut), a little of breeding talk (in a very feral meaning of it), gojo is a little fucked up (was he ever normal tho), top & dom gojo summary: this was supposed to be a chill leave but satoru wouldn't be himself, if he didn't make things…complicated. and horny. word count: 1.6k a/n: i won against anxiety! this text is...not exactly what i aimed for when preparing the prompt but i'm pretty satisfied with the result. feral gojo my beloved tag list: @thesacredfanfics

You've imagined your first retirement trip quite...different. 

Taking it easy was the motto you both intended to uphold. You deserved it after the absolute hell of the last two years and an additional few months of convincing Satoru that he really needed to step down and leave everything to others. His body and soul and your relationship needed a breather, nothing but sweet laziness in a luxury hotel on Bali, away from Japan, away from sorcery, away from Gojo clan relentlessly rushing you two to settle down and marry, as if the old schemes still had any meaning in the new world. 

No, his phone got turned off right on Tokyo Narita and hidden in your pocket, you left your laptops behind and locked away, your number was entrusted only to a handful of people and instructed to be used in case of an extreme emergency. You agreed for it together, this peculiar isolation from the world the only way you could properly rest through the month to come. For the whole of October, you belonged only to each other, to tropical beaches, local cuisine, parties in expensive clubs, and your spacious bedroom with a sinfully comfortable California king sized bed, just perfect to finally sate your libido.

But Satoru wouldn't be himself if he hadn't stepped into an affair right on the first day anyway, even before you managed to unpack all the bags. He made a local curse user run for their life, more bored than anything, and returned with a small bottle of...something he confiscated.

You still taste its flavor at the back of your throat, sweet and tart at the same time, like pina colada made by an unskilled bartender with a little too much cheap rum. It was thick and rather hard to swallow, its consistency nothing like any other drink you had tried so far, and it pricked your tongue with that characteristic tinge of cursed energy. This aphrodisiac was surely infused with some kind of cursed object, maybe a product of someone's cursed technique, and as under any other circumstance you wouldn't be eager to try it just like that, when Satoru already swallowed his half, you just followed suit. 

The party mood was definitely to blame, music was still buzzing in your blood as you were grinding against his lap and chasing his lips. The bottle was in his pocket, and you were the one who pulled it out, its shape climbing into your thigh uncomfortably. Satoru had already forgotten about its existence, but he immediately recognized his trophy and uncorked it before you could say anything.

And since then, the matters escalated...quickly.

Thighs flush to his hips, you ride him without cease. You've lost feeling in your calves a long time ago and your knees scream for mercy—yet, you don't stop, fearing that the flame burning deep in your cunt would swallow you whole as soon as you take a breather. Up and down, you swallow him over and over again, his cum pouring out of your abused hole and pooling at the base of his cock. You've lost count of how many times he's finished in you already, yet of your own orgasms, but you know you've reached every physical limit of your body. Aphrodisiac running in your veins has you pushing them relentlessly, somehow forcing exhaustion and pain out of your comprehension. There's only lust and warmth of his length, filling you to the brim and, somehow, still pressing deeper and deeper, seeking new crevices to be filled with his seed.

Satoru underneath is a mess too, sweaty, shaking and whining. His skin is flushed, be it fever of the moment or the sunset soaking you both in pink light, exposing scars scattered all over his torso, arms, and face. Moisture slips his blindfold down; beadily blue gaze runs you through as it skims along your body bouncing on top of his. He's lost the famous Six Eyes, a sacrifice made by a binding vow to let him survive, but at that very moment you feel as if it's never been gone. You recognize this intensity, your body and mind respond to it instinctively—the absolute submission and trust only Satoru has ever been able to elicit from you.

"Kiss me," he demands, voice breaking in need, and fills you up yet again as soon as your lips brush his. His hot seed flows inside you, you can feel its pressure against your cervix and another ounce of older loads slipping out of your hole. It's such a waste but you can't help it, you can hold inside only as much, and he's still determined to somehow overflow you from the entrance to your womb.

You've never experienced sex with this intensity. Aphrodisiac sharpens your senses thoroughly, you're feeling him with parts of your body you've never thought that they're capable of ever feeling. Every twitch of his length thumps through your body, every new spasm of incoming high has your cunt clench tight around him, trying to desperately swallow everything he's offering, maybe this time it can be savored whole, maybe this time you can expand your limits and let him breed you straight into your core.

Lustful poison wants you to continue beyond breaking but your body starts giving up, your legs too jelly to handle your weight any more. Your rhythm starts faltering, you lean forwards in a desperate attempt to help yourself with your arms, your hands only slipping off his sweaty chest.

"I can't," you sob, yourself not sure if in exhaustion or immense need for more.

"Yes, you can." Heels digging in the mattress, Satoru lifts his hips and bounces you himself. "C'mon, pretty thing, just one more time? I know you want it badly ."

His fingers sink in your skin, bruise your hips yet again as he's rutting into you without a break. He has you creaming around his cock again, gushing your juices and his cum alike. Eyes fixed on your fluttering lips, he tries to shake the sweat-soaked blindfold of his face. You want to help, only to lose fragile balance and to almost slip off him and his greedy embrace.

"Hey," he groans, his voice dropping so low it doesn't sound like his anymore. "Hey, hey, hey, where do you think you're going?"

Satoru rocks himself forwards, having you on your back just for a moment enough to slip out of you and turn you around, face shoved into pillows and your hips yanked up. He gathers the mess leaking out of you with the tip of his cock, then finds your entrance with one, rough thrust.

The sound you make doesn't sound human anymore. He's reached the depth he has never before, maybe even indeed somehow pushed himself past your cervix. Without the help of the aphrodisiac, you could have been in immense pain—but now, you're only clawing sheets and trying to meet his moves halfway, craving every inch of his thick cock drilling into you. You want more , you want to be bred until even your womb is filled to the brim and bulging your tum.

One hand pressed tight to your abdomen, undeniably trying to feel himself moving in you, Satoru keeps holding you down by neck. With a corner of your eye, you can spot his reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, his face on the brink of losing his humanity, too. There's nothing left of tenderness he's always had reserved when looking at you; there's only lust and blind chase for release and sadistic satisfaction wincing his expression whenever your mewls grow more hoarse and desperate.

His thrusts relentlessly push you towards the edge of bed; you're not able to hold yourself against them and his hold is not enough to keep you in place. Satoru's hand sneaks from the nape of your neck to your throat and pulls you towards him, until you're kneeling, your back flush to his torso. The mirror is filled with you both now, the sight of the size difference between you two alone almost having you cream on his cock again. He's watching too, his gaze fixed once on your face, once on your union and your belly really bulging in the shape of his cock, his moves calming down just enough to focus on dragging new views and reactions out of you.

"You look like a slut." He laughs, the sound suiting more a demon than your caring and always a little pathetic partner, and slides his long fingers into your mouth. You're drooling around them, choking, your own fingers scratching his wrist, yourself not sure if to pull him out—or quite contrary, make him torture you even more. 

You're both losing your sanity with each passing second, the poison in your veins only growing stronger the more you succumb to the lust.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you cum again, the spasm of your cunt almost painful, and your legs give in, your body now limp in his hold. Satoru clicks his tongue, lets you melt just enough to hook arms under your knees and yank you up. His hands are at the back of your neck again, eventually locking you in a full nelson hold, absolutely helpless and left on his mercy.

When you regain your sight, you're staring straight at your body wide open, your cunt stretched by his twitching cock and gushing his cum.

"C'mon, pretty thing, don't pass out on me here." He sinks teeth in your neck, hard, as if trying to tear a piece of flesh out of you. "It's not even dark yet."

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#42: The Fuel (1.04)

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

Even when everything crashes down around them, Richonne's love always prevails. 🥹

And now that they’ve recentered on what truly fuels them, Richonne then gets every type of fuel they need to finally go home. So we gotta close out this masterpiece of an episode with the breakdown of ep 4's final glorious moments. 👌🏽😇

The fact that we were really spoiled from literally minute one to the final seconds of Episode 4 - I have to thank Danai one million times for writing this thoughtful Richonne love letter episode and forever thank Andy & Danai for performing every part impeccably 🙏🏽💐...

After deciding to go home together in such a well-earned way—which, that's another thing - the fact that Danai didn’t even need an extended episode to convincingly craft an arc where Richonne could start off more at odds than they’ve ever been, and then not just beautifully, but also believably and organically, bring them back together by the end, leaving them feeling more bonded than ever before. She’s an illustrious talent. 🤩

So now Richonne is ready to head out because this building is on its last legs. And as they walk, Rick is finally out of the CRM gear and in casual apparel for the first time with Michonne. And I loved seeing that. The hold the CRM had on him is finally removed. 😌

The temp controller announces another malfunction and says the elevator only has ten minutes of reserve power left. Which hearing that...it’s wild Rick and Michonne still used that elevator…even tho I’m glad they did. 😏

As they make their way to the door, they stop for a moment and I love the way it’s filmed with us being able to see them between the panels. Rick gets his blade ready and then he looks at the real source of his strength Michonne.

And then you already know I absolutely adore that Rick leans in for them to share a kiss before they head out of this place. It’s the sweetest thing. 🥰And it immediately lets you know Richonne really is back.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

That kiss is pure gold and highly ranked for me, y'all. Like as quick as this moment is, it’s still so special and romantic. I appreciate any and every reminder that Rick and Michonne are each other's baby and that kiss was definitely giving that.

Also, I just have to reiterate that Danai wrote such a quality episode of television. I love how at the top of the ep we see Michonne first exit the apartment alone and in pain, and then later Rick exits the apartment alone and panicked, and then at the end they show Richonne leaving the apartment together and healed because they’re finally operating like the honest unit they’re meant to be.

And again, it’s impressive how earned it all feels with Richonne starting the ep more at odds than ever and then truly being on one accord and one being again by the end of the hour.

It's sweet that as they’re about to re-enter the walker-infested world they want this reassuring and comforting moment of connection as this kiss just communicates that they’re in it together no matter what they face outside these walls.

Then he whispers ready and she nods and Rick opens the door for Michonne to go through first. Bye, Apartment 👋🏽, you were very very good to us, chile. But now it’s time for Richonne to go home. Won’t He do it. 🙌🏽

So then once they enter the hall they have one of my favorite action sequences. I love the way it's choreographed for them to be so in sync through this whole thing. This action sequence said let us remind you who are the two baddest to ever do it. 😌

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

I love the way it really is like they’re killing these walkers as one in the way they’re tag-teaming. Michonne steps out the hall first but then Rick is ready to get the first one and then they just take them down like only they can and it’s a great sight.

And Rick loves the sight of Richonne in action too the way he takes a moment to look at Michonne as they walk forward. I love that it's always clear Rick is invigorated by the fact that he and Michonne are a power couple. And again, the merging of the red and blue light as it comes together to make purple is great and gives TOWL a fresh different vibe than TWD. Seeing Richonne walk in the purple light just feels like they too have blended back into one again. 😌

gif cred: @nerd4music

And then that elevator...😏

Y’all, let me express some gratitude for this elevator right here. It gave us some absolute gold, honey. 😇

gif cred: @nerd4music

They approach the elevator and work together to get a walker out of the way. And then once they enter, Rick kicks the walker's arm, and Michonne, serving with her stance, realizes hey we have some time while this elevator goes down so naturally she looks over at Rick with that 'my man, my man, my man' look.

Then Michonne grabs the strap of Rick's backpack and pulls her into him and we can see him rushing into her just as the blood-stained elevator doors close. I love it. 😋 Look at frisky Michonne wanting a piece of her man right now lol. 🤭 Who can blame her?

gif cred: @msanonships

And when I first watched I thought that was gonna be it. Like they were just going to imply that they make out in the elevator. But no being a Richonne stan means being hella spoiled and so we actually get to see this all play out. 😊

They cut to Richonne making out inside the elevator and it’s just so good.❤️‍🔥 Also, it's funny how you’d never guess that Michonne was the one who initiated this the way Rick so quickly matches the energy and throws her against that wall. Rick can't quite be outhungered when it comes to Richonne kisses lol.

Like Michonne's always on the same page with that intense immense love but Rick's always going to be the more extra one by a little bit. Here for it. 😋

gif cred: @nerd4music

They were real into it in that elevator and had themselves another moanversation. I love that they are always on the same timing and both crazy enough to be so unconcerned with the fact that this building is about to come toppling down. Like they are just passionately present in this hot moment and it’s great. 👌🏽😋

Richonne are really and truly irresistible to each other and I love how their desire is always on display. And you can just tell Michonne loves Rick’s assertive affection as he practically consumes her and she slides her finger down his face. And as for Rick...he's addicted to his wife in the best way. 😊

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

Also, I always like seeing that “Failure is never an option” sign because I be needing that reminder in life and also it just feels like a thesis statement or something as to why Richonne is always able to win. When they refuse to fantasize about failing they always come out on top together. 👌🏽

So they manage to pull themselves off each other enough to run and kill more walkers and make it out of the building as they make a run for the vehicle. I remember in 2023 there were those set pics from this outdoor running moment and it felt so nice to now get to see what that all was from. Little did we know it was filmed for the greatest Richonne episode of all time. 🤩

gif cred: @nerd4music

With Richonne outside we continue to get insight into the destruction going on inside the apartment, including the death of the temp controller I believe. RIP, to the narrator of Richonne's ep 4 journey. 

And then Richonne make it to that yellow truck and let me tell you Richonne + cars is undefeated. 👌🏽 It’s always going to make for a golden moment and this one here of course is no exception. 😏

They run into the car and I adore the detail of Rick holding that book that Michonne said Judith would love. A whole FATHER. 😭🙌🏽 And this just goes to show that everything Michonne said to Rick when he had those walls up at the top of the ep was absolutely resonating with him even if he wasn’t fully letting on at first.

I mean, Rick always hangs on Michonne’s every word so of course everything she said stuck, especially about their children. (Also, it just hit me that that’s likely part of why Rick was thinking about getting a gift for RJ in the next episode since he knew they’re bringing the book as a gift for their daughter. 🥲)

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

So they get in the car but then Rick realizes there’s a slight complication as he tells Michonne it’s a “Stick shift.” I love the way Michonne looks at him and smiles when she realizes that means her little amputee cutie won't be able to drive this particular vehicle.

And y’all, since she has to drive that means Rick and Michonne have to switch seats. 😏 It's great how even a car being a stick shift can lead to Richonne gold, because this next moment is top tier. 🤩 Richonne stans, we ate good with TOWL, honey. 😇 Practically every second in this miniseries is rooted in Richonne’s romance. 🙌🏽

Also, I heard it was the episode's director Michael Slovis who had the idea for this next golden part, and I gotta take a moment to give Slovis his tens too. He did an outstanding job directing this Richonne love letter episode. 👏🏽💐

gif cred: @taiturner

So Rick and Michonne have to switch seats and they’re not gonna just get out of the car and do that - no, instead they attempt to just quickly climb over each other but, I’ve said it once I’ll say it 1000 times…Richonne are magnets. 🧲 So of course they couldn’t be that close to each other and not just start going to town again and making out. I love our hungry little couple that stays starving for each other. 😋

gif cred: @nat111love

When Michonne is on top of him you can see the determination on Rick’s face to turn this into something lol. And of course she’s on the same timing as they start making out. Like this building is really going to fall in mere seconds and they don’t give a damn. 🤭

They’re so happily distracted by their love and I’m here for it. They said that whole ‘love on each other as hard as we can while we can thing’ starts effective immediately. Also, only Richonne could make switching seats hot lol. 🔥

gif cred: @taiturner

Then it’s sweet to see the Roomba still going til it can’t go anymore. It’s resilient like Richonne. 

Also, it was really smart to put a sort of timer in the episode, and a high stakes timer at that, with the fact that the ep took place in a building on the verge of collapse. It's symbolic of how Richonne had to come the closest they’ve ever come to wondering if perhaps their relationship is on the verge of collapse as well. But of course like the Roomba that just won’t quit, they emerge from the building together and stronger. Richonne isn't the building, they’re the Roomba.

gif cred: @worldbeyondz

And then y’all. Y’ALL. You already know what I’m about to address. It is now wonderfully canon to know 🗣 MICHONNE CALLS RICK 'BABY.'

gif cred: @nat111love

I know I was previously in the camp that heard Michonne call Rick 'baby' earlier in the bedroom scene but that one I didn't hear on my first watch. This 'baby' right here in this blessed yellow truck tho - undeniably clear. And so great. 🤩

They cut to the two still making out like it’s the only thing on the agenda, but then Michonne knows that it actually is coming down to the wire with the building about to fall. So she whispers to Rick, “Baby, I gotta drive.” 🫠🤩🫠🤩🫠🤩

From “You want to drive?” to “Baby, I gotta drive.” What a journey. 😭🎁

I didn’t know how much I needed to hear Michonne call Rick 'baby' but when I heard it I was like oh I’ve needed to hear this all my life lol.

So y’all, can I happy dance one time? Because hearing Michonne call Rick 'baby' makes me ridiculously happy. 😋

Now whenever I see any pre-canon TWD moments between Rick and Michonne I just stop and think wow one day she’ll call that man her baby. 😭 Like that’ll just be their norm because the way she says it and the way he responds, it’s clear he’s used to that. It’s so sweet and fitting. 🥰

I know we often like to wonder about Richonne pet names and I think it’s so cute that she calls Rick baby because really that is her baby. When I first heard this, y'all, I rewound it so much to make sure I didn't just imagine it lol. It was perfect. 😇

(Also since this kissing moment wasn't scripted and it was something Slovis suggested they do while filming, I'm assuming that would mean the 'baby, i gotta drive' was improvised as well. If so, I love that these talented creatives know just what to do and say with these characters 🙌🏽😊)

And I love that Michonne has to remind him that she has to drive because if she didn’t Rick would have been down to make RJ #2 up in that car. Like he’s lost in her yet again while their making out and of course, the moaning has returned. The man can’t help it. 😊

This whole lovely kissing moment further proves that for Rick the world can wait when he’s with Michonne. And the way Michonne says the line you can tell that the only reason she’s stopping is cuz they literally need to go. If they didn’t have to book it out of here right now…she’d be down for whatever too. You already know. 😋

gif cred: @worldbeyondz

I love how Richonne’s favorite thing is kissing each other breathlessly and how they prove time and time again that the magnet thing might as well be literal. Also, the fact that they kiss during every phase of this exit - at the apartment door, in the elevator, and in the car. Real lovers are back. 😍

And they are never beating the adrenaline kink allegations, y’all. But I love how they, like us, are very cognizant of the fact that Richonne in fight mode is a sexy thing. 

And then I love that after she tells him 'Baby I gotta drive' they both laugh a little knowing how easily they get caught up. And then Rick is so refreshingly looser and more himself as he says, “Right. They made a stick shift electric car” and then he looks back and sees they left tanks of ethanol in the backseat.

gif cred: @taiturner

Let me repeat - The universe is a Richonner. 😋 The second Richonne got it together the universe was like here we’ll provide the fuel (and the food 🍜😉) and all the logistics.

I love how they both get excited learning the car is a hybrid. It reminds me when they were excited about those MREs in Say Yes. 

So then Michonne notes how they have to thank the innovators for the hybrid and how those people clearly thought they could do anything and Rick says, “Yep but we can. ‘We can make this whole world ours if we want to.’” Do you know how much of a loverboy you have to be to quote your wife’s words from a DREAM? 🫠 Most swoon-worthy thing ever and I’m so here for it. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @machonnes

I love that Rick is back to believing in Richonne. 🥰 Also I always laugh when I think back to when I first watched this because I remember just being like 'Aw he’s quoting her from the proposal dream ☺️' and then I gasped and was like 'oh that is a clear sign that he’s going to give her a ring in TOWL 🫢.' Like Rick quoting Dream Michonne in this car made me know for sure a wedding ring was coming cuz he's thinking about that particular '5 Pizzas & a Wedding Ring' dream. 👌🏽

I love seeing playful Rick again and Michonne brings that out of him so often and so naturally. And Michonne’s reaction is great when she looks at him like 'I agree but also...what??' I love that she affirms it tho saying, “Yes we can. That sounds like something I’d say.”

gif cred: @machonnes

And then Rick all contently says, “It is.” Y'all, i'm crying. 🥹 What a touching, lighthearted, and meaningful way to close out this episode's dialogue. 👏🏽

I love that Michonne knows she’d say that phrase and that Rick knows it full well too. He’s like baby, my dreams of you are extremely accurate, trust me. And the way he studies that woman of course they are. 😊

It’s just so special that those dreams at one point were all Rick really had of her and now here he gets to refer to them with the woman herself after she’s loved him back to life.

gif cred: @taiturner

As they get the car going there’s a little jump scare when a walker hits Rick’s window, and seeing them both jump and then be like okay let’s go - if they got any cuter my heart would not be able to take it lol. And the fact that Andy improvised that jumpscare reaction. Love it.

Rick and Michonne were just so back. Like they’re back to being the Richonne that’s playful, and flirty, and fully connected. A clear weight has been lifted off them and they're so in tune with each other again and it fills my heart with joy. 🥰

They drive and then it feels very poetic to see the building finally fall. I love the way Danai described the building as a cocoon that would determine if Richonne really can come out butterflies. And they soared out beautifully. 😭🦋

It also feels very symbolic of the way the walls Richonne had up around their hearts at the start of the episode have also officially fallen as they're back to being one in every way.

So having served its purpose of helping Richonne reconnect and bloom, the building could now come down. It’s almost like all the hard things they expressed and went through get to tumble down with the building as they head into a brighter horizon.

gif cred: @perryabbott

Having made it out just in time, Michonne watches the building fall from the rearview mirror and just smiles knowing she and Rick are finally back on track and on their way home like she's long been wanting.

gif cred: @machonnes

Then as Michonne smiles she has this loving look over to Rick and of course he’s already looking her way. 🥰 I love how his look over at her was such a loud and clear 'I love you.'

You just know that as he looks at her he knows he’s gonna be getting down on one knee with a ring the second he has a chance.

gif cred: @machonnes

And then the way he looks down with a smile. 😭 At this moment I really think ‘I’m so in love with her’ is the direct quote from his mind. That and “How’d I get so lucky finding you again.” 

gif cred: @machonnes

And Michonne can feel the love as she has her own 'I love you' smile at Rick and looks forward. That's the smile of a woman who knows good things can happen when you and your husband take a plunge out of a helicopter. 👌🏽

That’s also the smile of a writer who just knocked it all the way out of the park writing this brilliant episode. 🔥👏🏽

gif cred: @machonnes

And a surefire way to make me happy is to see Richonne happy, so I absolutely adore that this stunning episode ends with Richonne’s smiles. They’re together. They’re happy. They’re in love. All is well. 😌

As they drive off, I adore the Asibe Happy song they use. I love that it feels like a homage to Danai to have it be music from the motherland. And just the lyrics are so fitting saying We're happy/We're in love/They tried to come between us but they failed. The vibe is so different from TWD in a really cool way and it’s just a great choice. 👌🏽

It’s funny tho because my extra self had this song stuck in my head for a few days after the episode aired and despite it having a positive vibe I could not stop getting choked up when hearing it. 🥲 Like now for me the song represents Richonne overcoming and driving off into the sunset and it’s so beautiful and feels so much like a happily ever after ending that the music was constantly making me want to shed tears. 

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

But while it could have easily felt like this was the end of the story and Richonne was driving off into the sunset for good as this masterful episode faded to black…we still weren’t done yet. 😌

TOWL still had two more episodes of Richonne gold to give us with some very wonderful developments in their relationship. 👌🏽

But before we head into the final two episodes of TOWL, let me just conclude the 'What We' posts by saying Wow. This is how you do a moving, meaningful, and masterful episode of television.

What Danai so thoughtfully created with this episode exceeded expectations and truly shined the brightest light on why Richonne is so very special. Why it’s my Roman Empire. Why it’s my favorite depiction of love of all time. 😍

Never have I written so much about one TV episode, but I knew I’d have to go all out for Episode 4 because it’s what this important experience deserves. Every emotion, every scene, every choice, was pure excellence. 👏🏽

Andy and Danai have some of their greatest performances ever and I love that this episode was so packed with riveting dialogue and so focused solely on the two fascinating characters of Rick and Michonne and their extremely compelling relationship. It really gave Andy and Danai the space to again solidify why they're the best in the business and why Richonne is the greatest TV couple of all. 👑

I’m so grateful to them for giving their all as the people who bring Richonne to life and to Danai for writing something so inspiring and exceptional. 🔥

I’ll thank her 1000 times for lovingly and diligently crafting a Richonne episode that is food for the soul and delves into love, pain, trauma, and triumph with such honesty, creativity, and care.

This franchise and fandom are so fortunate to have such an astronomically gifted actress and writer share her gifts this way. 💯

Episode 4 was immensely heartfelt, hot, humurous, healing and profoundly human. It'll stick with me forever. It's embedded in my heart and I wouldn’t have it any other way.🥹

It's not every day you get to see your favorite thing reach its peak of perfection but that's what this episode was for me - capturing the mesmerizing depth and beauty of Richonne at its absolute best. So I'll cherish this shining treasure of an episode always.👌🏽😌

[delimeats-000]

Just the Editor

summary: chris teasing the podcast editor takes a little turn

warnings: language, make outs, dry humping

requested.

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im editing a podcast for THE sturniolo triplets. this is big, like huuge. these guys got me through senior year of hs, and now im their editor, like wtf.

on the set beyond the wall that divides us i can hear the guys laughing with one another.

they’ve been recording for about 2 and a half hours. they should be done soon and come check the final product of the last pod i edited.

soon enough they finish their current recording and come to the editors office.

“Hey y/n/n.” nick says.

“Hey nick.” i get out of my chair to hug him and greet the other boys. “Im pretty much done if you guys wanna take a peek on the last episode.”

“Oh i have a meeting with madi and laura that matts gonna drive me to.” nick hesitates. “If chris is up for it he can stay and watch.”

“Yeah i can come pick him up after the meeting.” matt chimes in.

“Ok sounds good.”

no it doesn’t, two of three triplets gone leaving me with the third that i just so happen to be absolutely smitten over.

matt interrupts my thoughts, “Alright cool. We’ll be back.”

“Be good Chris.” nick laughs before heading out the door and closing it behind him.

i turn to face chris. i hope to god he doesn’t see how nervous i am.

“Ok so you ready?”

“Uhh yeah, you got pepsi?”

“Yeah there should be some in the fridge downstairs.”

“You wanna lead me over there? Please?”

“Of course.” i stand up and quickly walk to the foor opening it for him.

“No no, ladies first.” he winks.

fuck.

“Thanks.” wtf, THANKS, dumbass.

he laughs tho, ok cool, play it cool.

we walk down the stairs and into the kitchen in silence.

“Do you want one or two?” i say bent over in the fridge reaching for his pepsi. he steps close behind me, resting his hand on my lower back.

“Lemme get two, just in case.”

“ok.” i feel weak, his hand feels so firm and strong.

compared to the cold room i was in his hand is hot and the temperature change makes me shiver.

“Are you ok?” he asks as i stand up.

“Yeah just cold.”

“Here take my sweatshirt.”

before i can decline the offer he’s already taking it off revealing a wife beater that lifts halfway up his torso as the sweatshirt comes off. my eyes go wide and i dont get the chance to fix my expression before he notices the blush on my face.

he laughs softly, “Here goof, put it on.”

i take the sweater and put it on.

“You look good.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, lets go watch the pod.”

“Yeah.”

my face is most definitely flushed, im hot, genuinely burning up and the sweater is making this worse now, but it smells so good. i cant take it off, not yet.

“Ok here you go.” i pass him my laptop and headphones so he can watch the pod on the loveseat in the office.

“Yo, you’re not gonna watch with me?”

“Uh, i guess i can.”

he scoots over and hands me the other headphone. he presses play. i cant even focus on the video in front of me, all i can think about is the fine ass man right next to me. shoulder to shoulder i swear i can feel his heart beat. there’s no way in hell im playing this cool. i just know im shaking. please god dont let him notice.

but he does anyways.

he pauses the video, “Is everything ok.”

i dont want to look him in the eyes, im gonna give it up. “Mhm, yeah.”

“Look at me.” he says quiet and gentle. but i dont look.

he grabs my face turning me towards him.

“I said look at me.”

he’s serious this time, his tone still quiet but now firm.

“Sorry.” i mumble.

“Shh, don’t apologize.” a smile grows on his face. “Whats on your mind?”

i shrug, struggling to make eye contact.

“Tell me, baby.”

im sure he could see the shock on my face because his subtle smirk turned into a soft chuckle.

“you’re pretty, chris.”

“You think so?”

i nod my head quickly.

“You’re beautiful, y/n.” he leans closer. “Can i kiss you?”

i nod once more before his lips land on mine.

he starts slow speeding up the kiss getting more rough. his tongue now caressing mine. he slowly runs his hand down to my neck and lets the other rest on my hip.

his sloppy kisses lead down my neck and i feel him leaving his mark. i let out a moan from the sharp pain, as i reach to grab his hair.

he bites harder making me let out another moan before he lets go, breathing hard he says, “Keep moaning for me, baby.”

“Yes sir.” i say as he goes back to making out with me.

i straddle his waist taking control grinding on his dick feeling the bulge grow larger.

“Fuck. Ke-keep going.”

now kissing down his neck and grinding against his hard cock, ive got him moaning for me.

then.

there’s a knock.

“Heeeyy.”

its nick. he opens the door to me struggling to get off chris. chris is completely unfazed as im absolutely embarrassed.

“Chris.”, matt laughs. “You didn’t.”

Nicks jaw completely dropped he turns around and walks out of the room.

Matt daps up chris before leaving too.

Chris stands up walking towards me, “Call me ok?”

i nod and he kisses my cheek before heading out the door.

i fall back onto the loveseat in utter disbelief.

“He forgot his sweatshirt.”

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dialogue key: nick - matt - chris - y/n

hope you like it, love you 🫶

EDIT: Pt 2 Out Now

[prettyboykatsuki]

fuck your inhibition. | k. bakugou

♢ tags ; very big age gaps (19 years), questionable ethics, ex deliquent / runaway reader (22), fighting / violence, brief mentions of living on the streets, retired pro-hero bakugou (41), emotionally charged sex, afab + masc!reader, top!reader, bottom bakugou, reader is really rough around the edges, backstory for reader, arguing, oral (both receiving),rimming (m!recieving), strap-ons (not a dom thing. no particular power dynamics), prone-bone, dirty talk, size difference (reader is smaller but no specifics), happy endings sort of.

no explicitly gendered terms for reader. usage of words like clit / cunt for readers body parts. reader is implied bisexual.

(also while this fic is certainly intended to be read as masc., it can just as easily be read as completely gn.)

♢ wc ; 10.2k (two days. this is so alarming)

♢ a/n ; happy birthday to my favorite guy. sorry in advance. this fic is so disgustingly self-indulgent. str8 self-inserty ngl. i simply dont want to look at it djskfgdf. this fic is pretty tame tho age gap aside. been a while since ive written for him. title is from "lemme know" by vince staples

♢ synopsis ; who knew that the boudoir pictures you've been getting off too your whole life would look so much better in person?

You’re not convinced there’s any way to get used to getting your lights knocked out. 

At this point, your fighting prowess is good enough that you can dodge swings from even heavy handed opponents. Just agile enough to bob and weave. Your reflexes are good too, from years of getting into with cops or otherwise. So getting absolutely dusted in a single, swift motion is not a frequent occurrence. 

That’s why you are sorely caught off guard when it happens to you in the back of an alleyway, tucked into a corner of Osaka—a long ways from home.

You were fucked from the minute you stepped foot off the train; you knew that instinctively. You haven’t been back in years and it’s not like you’re here for leisure. And sure, you took the job knowing there was some possibility you’d run into some old foes but shit. They couldn’t’ve waited till the week was over? 

3 days in and your life as a runaway comes back to bite you in the ass. Worse, they catch in front of the very storefront you were  working up the nerve to visit at the end of the week. If that old man catches you 1. making a ruckus in front of his cherished bakery and 2. fighting like those “worthless punks” that he openly detests, he’s definitely gonna be on your ass.

It’s amidst conflict, you decide to take the beating and wait it out. Hopefully, whatever higher power is looking over you will let you get out without busting your lip. 

But fuck, this last hit is leaving you worse for wear. You blink your eyes open and you’re still surrounded by him and his bunch of goons. What was this dudes name again…? Aka…Aka-something, you think. Without warning, you get another punch, a clean left-hook  - this time to your side. You cough at the sensation. 

Ah, life is so unfair to you. 

He grabs you by the front of your collar, dragging you upwards until you’re nose to nose. This fuckers breath is hot. Something warm slips down your nose, a rivulet of blood over your lips. You grunt. 

“I should’ve beat the shit out of you the first time.” 

You blink slowly as you regain your vision and sense. Despite many transgressions and altercations, your time in Osaka as a fugitive is notable. This bunch of fiends are a somewhat half-assed motorbike gang. It’s an old story. You stole and ruined  not one, not two, but four of their bikes total. In your defense you were a young kid scrounging for change - hotwiring and deconstructing for parts was always  pretty profitable. And stealing flashy bikes was a hell of a lot easier than scratching up your knees in the scrap yard. 

Ah, there was that other thing too. Why you’re pretty sure this guy has held such a grudge against you for god knows how long. Irritable with a bad sense of self-preservation, you give up on behaving well. 

“Yeah? No need to sulk now, right?” You grin, hands practically itching to throw him onto the ground. A familiar sense of adrenaline burns in your stomach. You should just hit him, but you don’t - instead opting to aim where you know it’s gonna piss him off most “How’s your little sister by the way?” 

Red flashes in his eyes, nose puffed like a bull. Despite your self-satisfaction, you close your eyes and pray to god he doesn’t actually kill you. There’s still some ass you have to tap before you die and it’d be a real shame to die only inches away. You cover your face when his fist winds up. Riling him up was probably a bad move.

Before you get your lights punched out forreal, an angel comes to rescue you. 

“Oi, you fuckin’ punks—go take this shit somewhere else or I’m gonna singe every last goddamn hair on your head.”

You smile, almost drunk on the adrenaline. An angel, indeed. A cursing, blonde, abrasive angel. 

“Oh, shit—we gotta get outta here. That dude Dynamight doesn’t fuck around”

Before you know it, said group of miscreants disperses like a swarm of flies. You find yourself stumbling back against a bunch of crates, back hitting them and sliding down, snagging in your work clothes. The leader says something about “not being finished with you yet,” but you don’t catch it with how your ears are ringing in your skull.

You rub your eyes and groan, seeing double. When you open them again, your favorite blonde old man is standing in front of you. Arms crossed over his chest, sporting that signature glare you’re so fond of. 

Your head is throbbing. Fuck it hurts. 

You only manage one sentence before promptly blacking out. 

“Did I die and go to heaven?”

— 

You wake up in a familiar bed. 

A bed you spent a lot of time resting in when you were out at on the streets here, something like four  years ago now. The memories of the time aren’t entirely pleasant - being a homeless runaway was pretty shit. But meeting your life long hero (and getting your rocks off in his bed) are quite fond regardless. You’re surrounded by nice, white linen sheets that you’re pretty sure cost more than you make in a month. He’s not really much of a flashy character despite his career, but he does have an eye for the finer things. 

You haven’t been back here in a while. Since moving to a different prefecture, you haven’t had any good reason to come see him. This week was a good excuse for just that. Didn’t exactly plan on it happening like this, but you can’t really win 'em all. You’d consider being back here a win on your part regardless. 

The fact that you’re here instead of molding in the pouring rain means that he dragged you up there by himself. A fact you try not to put too much stock into, because he’s still a pro even if he’s retired. What makes it hard not to feel giddy about it is the fact you’re all cleaned up. Bandaged wounds and all, he even took off your shoes. Jeez, he’s gonna kill you one of these days acting so cute. 

You turn to lay on your back, reaching your hand to the ceiling and making a fist. Your knuckles are still pretty bruised up but it’s clear he took some time to check over them. You drop your hand down, squeezing a fist over your chest and sighing. You roll over again. 

“Still giving me so many mixed signals.” You say, half in jest, trying not to be too affected by it “Ah, fuck, this is bad. Gonna end up doing something weird just like old times.” 

Before you commit another act of degeneracy in the bed of your long time crush and childhood hero, you sit up with your legs over the edge. He took your pants off too, a pair of boxers hung low on your hips. Your back is fucking killing you. 

You stand to your feet, scratching the back of your neck as you turn to examine yourself in the mirror. You pull your tank up over your side, a bruise the size of a melon developing on you. It goes from just under your chest all the way down to above your waist. You press your finger to it and wince at the sensation of pain, dull but throbbing so deep in your nerves you can’t help but feel it. 

You examine the rest of you, turning to either side. Work tomorrow is gonna fucking blow, but considering you don’t have any broken ribs - you think it’s not the worst it could be. No stitches either, so a win overall. If the rest of the week passed by silently that’d  be perfect. 

You look around the room for your things. They’re in a neat chair in the corner of the room.  Bakugou’s cat is over there too, asleep on your uniform. You can hear something faint from downstairs, the sound of a T.V. playing. You should drop down there since you’re awake  but you’re reluctant. You wonder if he’ll chase you out since you’re up. If he still has as much of a soft spot for you as he used to, it couldn’t hurt to test your luck. 

You open up the bedroom door and shut it quietly before padding down stairs. 

You end up finding him where you’d expect him.  He’s in the kitchen with an apron on, a fitted gray shirt with a piping bag in hand.

 He looks older every time you see him. His hair isn’t all gray yet but the platinum is starting to turn brilliant white. There’s lines in his face that weren’t always there, even with the scars and fine wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. He’s still as jacked as he used to be, but it’s softened up. Mostly it’s his personality, you find, to be mellow. Only someone with patience could take up such a tedious hobby after an entire life out in the field - killing baddies and chasing thugs and whatever other shit hero’s do. 

It’s kind of ridiculous that he’s piping delicate little designs onto some pastries, but unfortunately for you it only adds to his charm. You lean against the wall coming into the kitchen, in the frame. Half-dressed with your lips quirked up in a coy smile. 

“Whatcha makin’ old man?” 

“Don’t break my concentration you noisy brat,” He says straightforwardly “Sit down and shut up.” 

“So cranky,” You muse,  but ultimately comply, sitting at a chair on the kitchen island. Looks like he’s on his last round of whatever he’s making. 

You get by on staring at him. It’s pretty typical for you even now. Sitting here in front of him doesn’t feel as awkward as you expected, which is worth something. When he’s finally finished, he puts the piping bag on the counter and wipes his forehead with the back of his arm. 

“Permission to speak, sarge?” You ask, sarcastically. He frowns at you. 

“Not granted.” 

“Cold as ever huh,” You say, leaning your elbow on the counter - palm on your cheek “Thought distance was supposed to make the heart grow fonder?” 

“That only counts if there’s fondness in the first place.” He says with ease. This time you scoff at him, but he cuts you off before you get a chance to reply “You wake up with any pain?” 

“Worry about yourself, you old bastard,” You say impudently. You see the corners of his lips twitch as he stares at you “‘m fine. Got a nasty bruise on my side but my ribs aren’t broken. Work tomorrow is gonna suck.” 

“That why you’re back here?” 

“For about a week, yeah.” 

“Confidential?” 

You shake your head and lean back. 

“Nah. Bodyguarding some rich dude’s kid. Birthday tomorrow. Spent the first two days being a lousy maid but the pay is good so I can’t complain.” 

“Shit. The party is tomorrow? I have an order for tomorrow.” 

“Guess you’re not senile yet, old man.” 

“Fuck off,” Bakugou says, not bothering to hide to his expression “How old’s the kid?

“A little younger than me I’d guess. 19 or so.” 

“Isn’t this a good opportunity to get laid?” He suggests like he’s purposefully trying to irritate you. He already knows how you feel. Why he insists on pretending is beyond you but it never fucking fails to piss you off. 

You shoot him a glare. 

“Nevermind. You’re definitely senile. Might wanna try some puzzle games to keep your shit in tact before you start peeing in public and buying ten pairs of the same pants.” 

“You’re still just as mouthy as I remember.” 

“Learned from the best.” 

A comfortable silence settles as a weird feeling overtakes you. Fuck, you’re still pining your youth away after all this time. Maybe getting laid would fix some of your issues, but no one is gonna hold a candle to having the real thing. You rub your temple in preemptive apprehension. Bakugou starts working on cleaning up the kitchen, and you resign yourself to thinking about what you’re gonna do. 

It catches you off-guard when he talks to you first. 

“Earlier,” He says, opening up the fridge to rearrange it “Why weren’t you fighting back?” 

You don’t know whether you want to laugh or cry hearing him ask. You don’t feel like softening the blow with your usual shit, so you give it to him straight. 

“It doesn’t suit a tactical genius to play dumb, old man.” 

He stiffens, then sighs. 

“Still hung up on that, huh.” 

Oh now you’re gonna get pissed. 

“Don’t.” You warn, low and indifferent. He sighs, sliding a tray into the fridge and “Don’t piss me off, alright?” 

“Hey. You shitty punk. When are you gonna get it through your thick skull I’m doing this for your fucking sake? Stop—”

“Next time, just leave me in the rain.” You seethe, venom in your voice, making you numb and agitated. He stops, breath hitching “I don’t give a shit if you’re a retired  hero. I’m serious. Leave me out in the alley next time if you’re gonna pull the mentor act again..”

Man this sucks. 

Not like you were expecting some heart warming love story out of a guy like him but still. You didn’t think he wouldn’t budge at all. You can feel yourself getting angry just thinking about it. It might’ve been better not to come. Mentor or not, his whole dismissal never fails to annoy you to your core. You knew that before the week started he might be like this. Maybe if shit went your way - you could’ve had a regular reunion. But now, he just had to see you getting beat up on purpose and he just had to fucking ask about it. 

Seriously, where’s his decorum? Prick. 

“Kid.” 

“Don’t—I needa get outta here. I shouldn’tve—fuck, this blows.”

You stand to your feet before you have a chance to look back. You feel kind of pathetic running away again but it’s still the preferable option to having this fight a second time. It’s something you’re just too sensitive about to deal with head on. Getting rejected twice by the guy you’ve been in love with since you were nineteen is bound to fuck you up abs you don’t have it in you not to drink yourself into a fit. 

So you’re practically running up the stairs, but you can hear him calling behind you. You go into the bedroom to get your things and Bakugou follows you into it predictably, shutting the door.  You turn around to him, annoyed. 

“Get outta my way.” 

“No. Not while you’re all pissy. Gonna get yourself hit by a car.” 

“What’d I just say about cooling it with the mentor act, man?” 

“It’s not a fuckin’—it’s not an act.” He says, with a sigh that almost makes you feel bad, “I haven’t seen you in two years.” 

“Two years is nothing. Old age is making you soft,” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest “But I don’t need your sympathy. My feelings haven’t changed.” 

“Kid.” 

“I’m not a kid anymore, alright? Cleaned my act up, got a job and a license and a place. Haven’t slept in a cell in two years. Been off the streets that whole time just like you told me to do.  The least you could do is take me seriously.” 

“I didn’t want you to do that shit for me. I wanted you to do it for you.” 

“Too bad,” You reply back almost immediately, pinching the bridge of your nose “Save your lecture for the next injured bird you raise up and leave me out of it.” 

“I’m trying to put you on the right path, you ungrateful little jackass. Don’t act like—“

“Spare me the goddamn lecture.” 

There’s a quiet silence befalls the both of you. Shit is going nowhere fast and you both know it, Bakugou as much as you do. Memories of your last argument come back to you almost instantly. 

After you turned eighteen, you were run out of the orphanage you’d spent part of your adolescence at. It’s a pretty regular sob story and you’re quite the sad sap. A dead mom in Mustafu and an absent father. You had a strong quirk, and hell maybe if you grew up different - you could’ve been a hero. 

Shit didn’t  work out that way, so at 11 you were thrown to the wolves. It’s not a fun time to look back on and you figure there’s no use thinking about the past. You did whatever you had to to survive which mostly meant being in and out of orphanages and running away whenever the next worthless schmuck tried to take advantage of you. You always got away by the skin of your teeth, and made money doing whatever you could. If it put food on the table, you’d have probably done it at least once.

It’s something of a cliche, but Dynamight was your idol. You liked that he wasn’t like other heroes. He was crass and hardcore and liked to talk shit. He was cool. You spent a lot of time hanging around T.V. stores watching him through the glass, watching interviews on your first hand-me-down phone. Even though he didn’t really have the tragic backstory, you always thought he was courageous and honest. 

A celebrity crush and idol combined, you stole more of his pin-up magazines than you’re entirely comfortable with. A lot of them you still own, shoved into the back of your closet. 

Once you’d turned 18, your life of petty crime had brought you all the way down to Osaka. It was also the worst year of your life. Social agencies seem to get off on tossing kids into the streets as soon as they can and with a criminal record like yours, there wasn’t a whole lot you could do. 

You spent the first 6 months knee deep in all sorts of shit. That’s when you ran into that biker gang for the first time. You hung around bars and slept with strangers for a place to sleep. A lot of bad shit happened and it wasn’t getting any easier. 

It was a cold, rainy day when you met Dynamight for the first time. The worst day of your life, more accurately. You got mugged and lost your job all in the same few hours and you were pretty sure god himself was spitting at your face. 

But it wasn’t all bad. Cheesy as it sounds, meeting your hero was worth the trouble. 

He was different off camera. That was the first thing you thought when you talked to him. He had a softer way of speaking and he was weirdly perceptive. He didn’t talk much, either - at least not at first. You spent a lot of time in comfortable silence. The first time, you didn’t do much more than share a meal. He asked you about your life. He gave you money for a hotel too. The only thing you could think to do was ask when you could see him again. 

He was 36 at the time. Hadn’t retired yet, either. 

That was the beginning of your long relationship. To this day, you don’t know why he decided to involve himself with you. It’s a mystery you’ve yet to get answers for and maybe you never will. Sure he was a hero, but you’re sure he’s seen a lot worse. Why take pity on you in particular? Whenever you ask him about it, he usually just scoffs. Sometimes he’ll tell you that you reminded him of someone. Who that person could be is lost on you even now.

It was a gradual relationship. You were young and persistent, but he never turned you away either. Sure he’d been a good influence, but stopping a life of crime wasn’t easy. You got arrested for some months after meeting. Bakugou took you in when you were 19 and homeless - let you stay with him. He retired at 37, opening up a bakery in Osaka. The place you’re staying in now is just over it. The same one you spent two years of your life falling in love with the old bastard. 

It was hard not too. You’d admired him for a long time, and he managed to supercede your low expectations. It wasn’t the first time you fell in love but it was definitely the strongest sensation. You tried to ignore it for a while but that didn’t work out for shit either. 

You confessed to him on your 20th birthday. Made a whole big deal with flowers and candles and shit. And again - it’s not like you were expecting romance out of the motherfucker. A flat-out rejection would’ve sufficed. 

But…that wasn’t what you got either. 

The whole reason for your fight wasn’t just because he didn’t have feelings for you. He made it a whole big fucking deal trying to tell you about your feelings. That you needed to get your shit together and grow up and that it was a phase that you’d grow out of. That he “really cares about you, kid” and that he’s just trying to do what was right by you as an adult. 

(“You’ve got no idea what the fuck I’m like either. Been through some tough shit and you latched onto me, alright? So don’t go wastin’ your time.”) 

You don’t really give a fuck about how old he is or about his status. None of it matters to you in the slightest. What was pissing you off all that time was him not taking you seriously after everything you’d been through together. Trying to tell you would fucking grow out of it and that it was a waste. You got into an argument after that, and like you’ve been doing your whole life - you ran away. Back to Shizuoka where you started to get your life together. 

Hit the books and studied your ass off, graduating late from a night school and then picking up a vocational school to fall back on. Some old connections got you a job in security and you bounced from place to place in the meanwhile. You even got your license and bought a beat-up cruiser that you fix-up when you have the chance. 

You grew up so to speak. You came back here trying to prove that. Being dismissed so fucking quickly makes you feel rage beyond reason so you’re trying to step back. Seriously, two fucking years and nothing. Not even a pity “I’m proud of you.” 

“Just admit it,” You sneer, inching closer to him “It’s not about any of that shit, is it?”

He widens his eyes as you stalk towards him.

“The fuck are you—“

“Don’t play stupid. You feel guilty, right? Feel all wound up cause you know it’s not nothing. This isn’t nothing”

This time he goes silent. Fucking bullseye.

“You thought I forgot? How you kissed me all tipsy? Thought I didn’t notice you looking?”

Oh it feels good to let it all out. He shrinks, this time unable to say anything. You both know it’s true. 

“Look—“ He puts hands on your shoulders as you back him into the wall “You’re too fucking young for all this. And about me, you don’t know—”

You lean into him, face inches apart. You already know what he’s gonna tell you, almost word for word. Trying to maintain some innocence you hardly have anything left of. 

“You sure? I heard you through those walls plenty of times. You take dick like a champ.” 

“Shut the hell up. This is for your own good, we can’t do this.”

You can hardly believe he’s still being like this. 

“I used to know you were home. When I brought people over,” You whisper low against his skin. His eyes widen “You heard me too, I’m sure. So, be honest Mr. Dynamight, you think I can’t give you what you want or are you too afraid to find out?”

“You’re such a fucking punk.” He grits out. Still not denying your words. 

“That’s right,” You muse, words heated and heavy “I’m a worthless street punk trying to fuck the old man upstairs ‘cause I don’t know any better.” 

It’s not the first time you’ve kissed Bakugou in your life. The first time was when you came over to his place tipsy. In front of all the other pro-heros you had admired so much. It’s different this time. Not only are you both shockingly sober, there’s an aggression in it that wouldn’t be there before. No matter how begrudging he acts, he’s still kissing you back just as hard as you’d expect him too. His lips are softer than you thought they’d be, arms wrapped around your neck. Fuck he’s still so huge. How much does he work out to still be this jacked?

You can’t even imagine how that’s gonna look when you finally get to fuck him. Shit, just thinking about it sends electricity through your spine. You groan a little into his mouth, your hands tucked on his nape and tugging at the fine hairs. You push your incisors into his lower lip and tug, pulling away just slightly to intake how fucking flushed he is.

 He looks like a pornstar,

You pull away, hand cupping his jaw and forcing his mouth open. You’re gonna lose it if you stare too long. 

“You’re so fucking sexy.” 

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” He mumbles. You laugh lightly at him. 

“Your cocky attitude is pretty sexy too,” You hum, amused. You kiss him one more time, hands reaching for the thickest part of his waist. He’s built like a trunk, but his reactions are almost girlish. The contrast is making you twitch. 

“Can’t say the same for you.” He spits. Your grin splits your face as you pull away from him, teeth nipping at his jaw. You can feel the scruff of his skin, unshaved as you let your tongue travel over it. 

“Aw, what? You don’t think I’m sexy.” You nudge a knee between his legs feeling the half-hard outline of his cock. You shudder “You sure about that?” 

“What the hell are they feeding brats like you?” 

“Liquor and cigarettes.” 

“Since when do you smoke?” 

“Helps me relax after work,” You whisper against the shell of his ear, teeth tugging at the lobe before “I get pretty stressed out. Sure you know something about that.” 

“Hngh, fuck. Fuck you.” 

“Do you even know how? Not like that thing gets much use, huh?” 

You reach down to cup his cock through his jeans, hard against the palm of your hand. He pushes his hips up slightly, sharpened glare. He pants. 

“You sound, shit, so fucking sure.” 

“I am sure. I’m looking to fuck you, not the other way around. Not sure how that’s gonna work since I don’t got my stuff on me.” 

You’re not sure what you’re expecting him to say. This whole thing is feeling like a fever dream you can’t wake up out of. Maybe he’ll give you a suggestion on what else to do.. But instead of that, a blush crawls onto his face. It leaves you floored. He looks away from you. 

“...Your shits still where you left it.” 

It takes you a second to register what he means. When you do, you can feel your brows hit your fucking hairline. There’s no way he’s saying what you think he is. 

“You’re shitting me.” 

“Shut the fuck up. I thought you’d come to pick it back up but you never did, and I went to go move it into some boxes. I didn’t have any reason to toss it.” 

A thought crosses into your mind. 

“Hey. Old man. Where is it?” 

He stares at you. You grasp onto him firmer, making him gasp. You can feel how heavy his cock is in your hands, rubbing it through the cloth of his sweats. You whisper harsh into his ears. 

“If I open your goddamn drawer right now, tell me, am I gonna find my old strap in it? Clean and getting use? You been fucking yourself with the thing I used to lay dick with?” 

When he doesn’t answer, pure glee ignites in you. He can’t answer, apparently. But his face is a harsh, permanent red now and his cock is painfully hard. You want to rail him into the fucking floor just for that. You wouldn’t make up some shit like that in your wildest dreams, so the fact that he’s not denying it makes your insides feel like they’re melting. You rub yourself against him, feeling how slick and hard your clit is just thinking about it. 

“Go lay down.” 

“Are you telling me what to do?” 

You grab his ass as hard as you can before landing a hit on it that makes him nearly topple over. Even though he’s bigger than you in more ways than one, he reacts like that. His anger only lasts so long before it morphs into want. 

“Of course I am. And you’re gonna listen.” 

“What makes you so sure about that, huh? You think you can satisfy me?” 

“You think you’re gonna intimidate me into backing down? After knowing you fuck your tight little ass to the thought of me? Fat chance.” 

“I didn’t say anything like that.” 

You laugh “You implied it. Now go lay down. Where’s your lube?” 

He frowns at you. 

“In the same drawer.” 

You give him a knowing grin to which he shoves your face away. Ultimately though he listens to you, lying and making himself comfortable in the sheet as you grab whatevers in his little sex drawer. He wasn’t kidding about the strap, the lube seated next to it. You grab both quickly and join him, hovering over him. 

You opt not to talk, slowing your pace to appreciate the view. You think he’s says something. Asks about what you’re doing and why - but you tune the words out as you run your hands over the curves of his body. He’s a wall of fucking muscle, his arms especially with a torso just tight enough for you to grab. The fabric of his shirt doesn’t leave much for imagination, but you’re still overwhelmed as you pull it up over his waist, his chest, his arms. The fabric comes loose and it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. You’ve got plenty of porn mags in your back pocket and even more boudoir shoots from him that you’ve stared at for hours. 

But seeing it in person is completely different. You can see the rise and fall of his chest - the raised skin of a scar and plenty of over scratches and wounds. Fuck, he is so sexy and you are so drunk on lust you almost feel sick. 

“Somethin’ catch your eye?” 

His voice draws you out of the trance you're in, a lazy smirk spread on his face. You laugh. 

“I get why you’re such a show-off,” This time you lean forward to kiss him - a hand wrapped around his throat, spare going to grab his chest. His tits are soft, they look like hard muscle and sinew but the fat is squished in your palms to perfectly for that“Fuck.” 

“You’re acting like a horny teenager.” He says flatly.  

“Been thinking about fucking you that long, so I guess so.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Why’re you so shocked?” You make work kissing down his neck slowly, down his chest, one tweaking his nipple while your mouth makes work on the other one He swears above you, another wave of heat pulsing in your body “Don’t you hear shit like that all the time?” 

“Shit that feels—I didn’t think you were, hngh—serious.” 

“Obviously not. I still have all your slutty ass photos in my apartment somewhere.” 

He pants. Makes the prettiest fucking sounds for you as you grope and squeeze and touch his body. You bite, hard, into his tits leaving a red mark of teeth that makes him shudder. You need to do it all over again. 

“Haah, fuck. What the fuck?” 

“You’re way sexier in person if that’s worth anything,” You groan, a shudder passing through you “Like way sexier.” 

He looks like he wants to say something to you but the words die in his mouth. You laugh as you peer over him. His reactions are fucking adorable. Face is hot with a flush, watery eyes. Pretty. As much he’s rugged and strong and downright handsome, he is annoyingly fucking pretty. Having him underneath you is making all the power go to your head. Nothing feels more appealing to you right now than the idea of wrecking him completely. 

You kiss down his body until you’re at his waist, taking his pants off unceremoniously. You have half a mind to rip them but you’re sure they’re expensive. He lifts his legs for you anyways, leaving a tight pair of boxers that leave nothing for the imagination at all. 

“What the fuck,” You mumble, getting face to face with it. You pull the boxers off slowly, kissing his hip as you do. His cock pops out slowly as you pull it down. What an asshole. His dick is impossibly big too. A tuft of well trimmed blonde hairs sit neat at the base and the tip is a harsh red. There’s a little drop of pre-cum dribbling down the shaft that makes your brain feel fuzzy. It’s veiny too, tight balls sitting net at the base. 

Another shiver wracks through you, as you reach your hand out to touch it tentatively. He groans sharply. You stick your tongue out, licking up from base to tip. He tastes of salt and skin, but it isn’t bad. You let your tongue lick at the slit, elated looking at him squirm underneath you. 

“Nice dick.” You say back plainly. He snorts. 

“Fuck off.” 

‘’m serious,” You add, letting your eyes lid to look more serious “I don’t blow just anyone.” 

You open your mouth wide, pulling lips over teeth as you ease the tip slowly. It’s hot. Hard as steel and intrusive against your tongue, you can feel it throb. Pulsing relentlessly, you lower yourself onto it slowly - taking as much in as you can. It’s difficult and messy, tongue out to cover as much as you can. You suction your mouth slowly, hollowing your cheeks. There’s something that feels so good about having him in your mouth, something even better about watching the faces of pleasure he makes above you. 

You hum in appreciation and the vibrations prove to be too much as he nearly thrusts his dick into your throat. You brace yourself for it happening again - setting an even pace. He looks good like that, drowned in pleasure and unsure of what to do with himself. You wonder if it’s been a while since he’s acting so fucking cute about it. You assume as much. 

What he said before, you wonder if he was picturing it. If he felt guilty about it. The idea of him jerking off in shame over the thought of his dick in your mouth makes your spine tingle. You cup his balls in your hand, squeezing gently as you get into a steady rhythm. You feel him above you trying to hold it all in, the muscles in his abdomen tightening each time you manage to get down further. It’s hard to breathe, the back of your throat feels narrow. Your skin is on fire. 

“Fuck, fuck—where’d you learn how to—fuck!” 

You feel him getting ready to cum, so you pull off swiftly. A delicious, needy whine comes out of his throat that leaves you mesmerized. 

“What the hell?” He mumbles, heaving. You laugh. 

“Hey,” You hum, lifting his hips until you can see his hole - pink and twitching “Every had someone eat your ass?” 

“Are you offering?” 

“Yeah.” You say back, kissing the insides of his thighs, gripping the muscle “I wanna know if it feels good for you.” 

For whatever reason, this statement in particular makes his skin tinge pink. You hold back a laugh internally. 

“So fucking weird.” 

“Is that a no?” 

“Do whatever you want.” 

You chuckle at that. You sink your teeth into him again, this time working on the build up. His muscles give tension to your incessant biting, hard bone against muscle as you mark up his thick thighs. His ass is nice like you’d expect, tight and muscular. You work your way towards his hole slowly, thumb circling the tight ring of muscle first to gauge his reaction. He shudders, making you hold back a laugh.

“Kinda sensitive,” You say amused. You can feel him glaring without having to look “You can’t cum without it now, right?” 

You’re mostly saying it in jest but the prolonged silence leaves you at a loss for words. Your eyes snap up at him, watching him huff and puff in embarrassment. Heat rolls through your body. 

“It’s not like I fucking can’t ever, alright?” 

“You’re too cute for your own good.” 

“Don’t fucking call me cute you shitty little brat.” 

“But you’re acting kinda adorable, old man,” You say slyly. You stick your tongue out, licking a long stripe against him. He shakes “Blushing up a fucking storm. Been a while?” 

“Not really.” 

“Oh, so it’s just ‘cause it’s me then?” 

He looks like a fucking cherry. You laugh. 

“To think you were so against it. How’d you hide your expressions that long? Did it help you to masturbate to the thought of me fucking you?” 

“Would you shut up?” 

“I don’t feel like it.” 

Before he can scold you any more, you let your tongue slip against the exposed rim. The reaction is tentative at first, slow licks trying to gauge if this is something he’s even into. You do it again and again, burying yourself deep. He makes a noise that you recognize to be a muffled moan. You groan in appreciation, repeating the action - letting yourself dip into the tightness of it. You can feel the muscles of his body go taut as you grip him - hands over the tops of his thighs. The action is more shameless the longer you let yourself indulge.

You’ll have to fuck him open anyways before you actually get on top. You think doing this much will make everything easier. Mostly you’re doing it because you like seeing him embarrassed. The gap in appearance vs expression never gets old. Seeing like this repeatedly proves to be novel and fuck knows if he’s gonna let you do it again any time soon. You’re more than determined to squeeze out every last ounce of his pride. 

You want to see everything. 

And frankly, pleasuring him like this is driving you all kinds of crazy. Not like you’ve ever been a selfish lover. Always aiming to please or whatever. But he’s got such a raw fucking sex appeal looking the way he does it’s making you drip. You’re pretty damn sure you’ve soaked through everything you have on and you’re not sure how much longer you’re gonna make it without touching yourself. 

It’s all material you’re committing to memory, either way. If anyone saw him like this, you’re pretty sure they’d fall head over heels just like you. It’s hard not to give him everything he’s ever wanted Not to want to fuck him within an inch of his life, just to see his big muscular frame curl in on itself. He’d look so good all messed up, all knotted with pleasure. 

You can feel it again this time, another wave of desire that makes his cock twitch. You wrap your finger around the shaft, holding it around his balls so he doesn’t cum without asking you. He lets out a noise of disapproval that you ignore, pulling your mouth away. Pre-cum dribbles out of tip. You use your finger to swipe it up and lick it. 

He looks scandalized. 

“Not bad. You eat clean huh.” 

“You’re going to kill me someday.” 

“You’re too young and too healthy to die.” 

He makes a face of disapproval at you. You toss him the lube before grabbing the strap. 

“Think you can work yourself open for me tough guy? Normally, I’d do it myself. Edge you out nice and slow, get you all soft. But I’m dying to fuck you already and I wanna make you cum on my cock.”

He looks at you exasperated. 

“Where’d you learn to talk like that?” 

“Casual sex and porn mags. You don’t like it?” 

“It makes you sound your age.” 

“Want me a little more suave? Tell you that I’m gonna make love to you?” 

He snorts. You take off your boxers and sit up on your knees as Bakugou opens the lube in his hands. You watch him idly, mostly focusing on wiggling yourself in the harness and making sure it’s comfortable enough to fuck in. 

He takes a deep breath, and you watch him reach between his legs. How it’s difficult since he’s so muscular. You almost want to help him, but instead you get between his legs again. Stood on your knees with a heavy bit of silicone weighing you down. You connect the tip to his, watching him push a finger in slowly. 

“Not if you say it like that.” 

“Having trouble there?” 

“You piece of shit.” 

“A worthless punk or something. C’mon, just say it. Ask me to finger your ass so I can fuck you. Or you want me to say something more delicate?” 

“Fuck, c’mon just, help me already.” 

“What’s the magic word?” 

“....Please, you worthless asshole.” 

You grin, grabbing the lube from the bed and squeezing it into your fingers. You laugh, leaning over him. 

“Got some manners left in you after everything, huh?”

You pull him down towards him by the waist, pulling his legs up. You kiss the inside of his knees, nudging his legs apart as you position your hands, warming the lube between your fingers. He’s surprised by your strength, but you don’t do anything but grin. 

“Keep your legs up for me, yeah?”

He scoffs but doesn’t go against your will. He looks good waiting for you like that, so you don’t take too much time trying to split him open. His hands are thicker than yours, so your first finger slides in like it’s nothing. He’s soft and hot on the inside, and the way he accommodates you lets you know this isn’t the first time he’s done this.

It doesn’t irritate you as much as you think it should. Maybe you’re a little screwed up to think it’s sexy but the idea of him getting fucked at any point is turn on. Once you’re down to the knuckle and you can pump in and out of him easily, you use a second finger to stretch him further. There’s more resistance so you slow, feeling up against his walls for the place you know it’ll feel good. 

You know you find it because his whole body tightens up in front of you. His eyes shoot open and he’s all breathy and fucked out. You relish in it. 

“Right there?” 

He must be feeling good with how little he’s combating you. 

“Y-yeah.” 

You lean forward to plant a kiss on him again but this time it’s tender. He must feel really good because he wraps his arms around your neck to keep you there. You moan in surprise and when you pull back he looks hazed out of his mind.

“Didn’t know you could make a face like that.” You say, amused. He frowns at you. 

“I’m not happy about it either.” 

A laugh falls out of you and you catch the faintest whisper of a smile on his lips that has you kissing the corners of his mouth. He catches himself before he leans into it too easily, but you notice before he can shy away. 

“Looks like I’m making your heart flutter. Forget the ethics for a little and let me.” 

“I should toss you out of a fucking window.” 

“You’re not gonna though.” 

This he doesn’t reply to. You slip a third finger while he’s distracted and he gasps. This time he’s almost stretched completely. You give him a minute to breathe, swallowing up the little sounds he makes with a hearty grin. It’s so fucking good just doing this. Incredible. Way better than you could’ve ever imagined. 

“I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you,” You say, bemused. He’s delirious enough to laugh. 

“The stamina of youths scares the hell outta me.” 

“I don’t wanna hear it from a retired pro.” 

This time he grins. You find yourself pleased with the development. 

He’s stretched now, and restless. You pull your hand away and rub the remaining slick onto the tip of your cock, giving him a look. 

“Do you know how you want me?” 

“It’s your fantasy fuck,” He says, semi-sarcastically “Do whatever you want.” 

You laugh, tapping his ass lightly. 

“Turn over and stick your ass up a little.” 

“Don’t wanna see my face?” 

“Wanna see how you swallow my cock up like it’s nothing, more like.” 

He curses under his breath. You feel accomplished. He turns over just like you’ve asked him too and fuck the sight of him is way too much. You can’t get over it. He’s big and strong and trembling with desire and it’s driving your sex-drive as high as it can possibly go. You move so your knees are on either side of his thighs. Leaning forward, you lick up from the small of his spine all the way up his shoulder, before sinking your teeth in the junction in between. 

He groans underneath you, and your hands make themself present around his hips. Most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen in your life. The fucking arch and the scars and the ruggedness of all of it. 

“You’re damn gorgeous.” You say, with utter and sincere appreciation “It’s driving me fucking crazy.” 

“Save your smooth talk.” 

“I’m bein’ serious,” You say, pulling his ass apart with your palms “Like. Woah.” 

He snorts “Real poetic.” 

“I barely graduated school, asshat.” 

In the midst of your bantering, you let the tip of your cock slip into him slowly. It steals the words of reply out of his mouth in an instant. You can feel him melt underneath you. At the intrusion, at the feeling. At every single sensation. You feel the phantom of it in your spine. Like there’s fireworks in all your nerve-endings, just watching how his ass looks around it. Just the tip with no movement, no adjusting. 

He’s silent, shuddering - holding onto a pillow. A bead of sweat rolls down his spine. He has little dimples in his back. You groan. 

“Shit. Look at you.” 

The praise seems to make him keen. He’s always been one to like the attention. You roll your hips, fucking another inch into him agonizingly slow. He moans like he’s deflating, breathing ragged and voice raw. You rock back and forth until there’s no longer anything to resist, then push in and in and in. 

Once you bottom out with his ass against your pelvis and your hips on the back of his thighs, you lean forward and press your weight on top of him. You think he’s expecting something else, because he seems surprised. But you let yourself weigh upon him, then with a heavy grunt - cup his jaw and tilt his head to kiss him. 

“You like that?” 

“Shut up.” 

“C’mon. Be honest. You look like you like it. Ears turning so red.” 

He groans. 

“In your fucking dreams.” 

“Still not gonna budge huh?” You say. anchoring yourself at his sides with a deep sigh “So stubborn.” 

When you feel stable enough to move, you don’t hesitate to fuck him with all of the expertise you have. You give it to him in just the right way, measure up to where he needs you but don’t give in quite enough. It’s a strenuous affair but you keep it at. A steady pace that’s hard and deep but not good enough to make him cum. Something to leave him on the edge, you fuck him just like that. The sound of skin hitting skin and short, broken moans echo in the room. 

You focus on taking him like that, making sure each and every thrust is precise and calculated until he gets where you want him to be. You can practically feel when it’s starting to really get to him. When he can no longer hold himself up, so resigns to smushing his face against the pillow and going limp. You lean up, moving so you can pull his hips back with you - hovering off the bed on his knees instead of laying on his stomach. 

This time you reach deeper. His whining gets louder, more in tune with everything. You laugh as you reach around him, hands gripping at the base of his cock. It takes patience to unravel him like this, matching your hands to your movements until everything is in a slow, steady synchronization. Fast but not fast enough. Hard, but not hard enough. Close but not close enough. 

He lets out a heady groan that reverberates in his chest, opening his mouth finally. 

“C-c’mon. Just. C’mon.” 

“Aw what?” You say, rolling your hips up against him, where you know he wants you most “What is it, hm? Did you want something?” 

“Fuck. Just. Fuck me already.” 

“I am fucking you, though?” 

“You know what I mean!” 

“Oh, you want me to fuck you harder? Make you cum? I thought you didn’t like it.” 

He groans, dropping against the pillows again. 

“I didn’t say that. C’mon just. Please.” 

His voice is hoarse when he asks. You laugh against his shoulders, listening to his requests. Giving it to him how he needs it. Harder and a little deeper, you can feel it now. How you knock into the place inside him that leaves him trembling and shaking. You can read his cues now, when he starts getting close. But of course it’s not gonna be that easy. 

You keep the pace stand, putting your hand on the tip of his cock. You rub your thumb over the slit and hold it there. He sucks in a breath, whining a little. 

“Wanna cum so bad?” You offer, mouth twisted in a feral grin “Tell me you love me.” 

This knocks the wind out of him. 

“What?” 

“Say you love me with all your heart and I’ll let you cum.” 

“You’ve got to be fucking with me.” 

You fuck into him hard right where he needs you. He moans. 

“Nah. My fantasy fuck, remember? Right now, we’re playing love birds.’ Like’ works too, I guess. If you’re too scared,” You half-way mock, starting a pace now that borders cruel “Now say it nice and sweet and I’ll let you cum.” 

“You’re such a—agh, fuck,” He shudders against the bedsheets, repeating himself as you pound him. It’s easy to piston your hips. He’s so sensitive to begin with that it doesn’t take much “You’re insane.” 

“C’mon, old man. Confess your feelings to me like we’re sweethearts.” 

“In your dr—oh, shit.” 

“What was’at? Did you wanna say something?” 

You can practically feel him turn it over in his head. You’re mostly doing it to mess with him. Punishment for all of his beating around the bush and bullshitting. Getting to fuck him has been more than enough. 

So you’re not expecting him to stop you. To turn over flat on his back and lay with his legs spread and wrap his arms around your waist and stare at you through hazy, flushed eyes. This time you’re really looking at him. At the lines on his face and the scruff and an expression torn with time and desire and lust. Your heart nearly falls out of your fucking ass when he wraps his arms around your neck, palming your nape and pushing your foreheads together. 

When you’re nose to nose, he looks very serious all of a sudden. You swallow something in your throat, unsure of what else to do. 

“Gonna say this one fucking time, only. So listen up cause I’m not gonna repeat myself.” 

He’s got to be fucking with you. 

“Love you..I love you or whatever.  But that doesn’t mean—” 

Before he can finish his sentence, you put your hands up under his knees and fuck him for all you’ve got. Half-way as revenge for the shitty confession and half-way because if you think too long about what he’s saying you’re pretty sure you’re going to collapse. 

He sounds good under you, as you fist his cock and laugh in absolute fucking delight. You stare at him hard. At his fucked out expression. You’re gonna cuss him out as soon as this shit is over, you swear. What an asshole. 

“O-oh, oh fuck, I’m gonna, g-gonna cum.” 

You goad him cause you aren’t sure what else you should do at this point. 

“Yeah? Gonna cum on my cock? Show it to me. Let me see what you look like.” 

The words are enough to push him over the edge. He gets unraveled right before your eyes, his whole body pulled like a bow before losing all the tension. You can feel his cock twitching hotly in your palms. Thick strings of white covering your fingers as you fuck him through it. He sounds so perfect like that, so fucking good for you. You can feel your whole body ready to give out just watching. 

When Bakugou finally finishes, he releases you from his grip. You pull out only seconds after, staring at his flushed state in wide-eyed disbelief. 

“Were you serious?” You ask, because it’s the only thing you can think to ask. He sighs, tired. 

“Yeah.” 

Where the hell is this dudes class? 

“Fuck.” 

He laughs, laid down before poking his head back up to stare at you. 

“You didn’t cum yet.” It’s more of a statement than a question. You shake your head. 

“Not yet. I can take care of it.” 

He clicks his teeth.

“No way. Come ‘ere.” 

You undo the harness of your strap before crawling over to where he’s laid. You end up standing on your knees. He props himself up on his elbows, and you look down at him absolutely mesmerized. He crinkles his nose at you. 

“That fucking lovesick look on your face is gross.” 

“Been like this for four years.” 

He flushes. 

You stand in front of him, bare on your knees. He reaches forward, brushing the hair over the hood of your clit gently.

“You’re so wet.” He murmurs. You laugh. 

“Yeah, no shit.” You say, too tired to do much arguing “Lemme borrow your mouth,” 

He snorts “Got it.” 

You fist your hands into his hair and tug, bringing his open mouth to your clit with a sigh. Your cunts sort from being pushed into and neglected. Even the barest brush of his mouth is making you shiver. Bakugou must know a little something about this, because he latches onto you without thinking twice. The sudden added pressure has heat building your stomach at the speed of light. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so on edge in such a short period of time. 

Plus looking down at him while you hump against his face is enthralling. 

“You’d make a cute little wife, old man,” You say thoughtfully, dull pleasure aching as you tuf his hair at the root “You can cook, clean, bake and you know how to use your mouth fucking perfectly.” 

He gives you a look of exasperation, but the warmth down his neck tells you he likes it. You laugh, throwing your head back. The visible sight of arousal flowing down his chin and making his face messy is making you more horny than you know what to do with. You don’t have the energy to cum more than once but you’re sure when you wake you you’re gonna be horny all over again. 

You try not to think too hard about it as you feel the knot in your stomach grow tighter before unraveling all at once. Your insides are hotter than lava, the entire lower half convulsing as the strength in your thighs and legs gets lost gradually. Bakugou sucks until you’re nearly overstimulated, and you have to pull him away before it really gets to be too much for you. 

“You taste good.” He says thoughtfully. You laugh. 

“Got plenty more if you want it.” 

“We should clean up.” 

“You’re not kicking me out?” 

“I’m not a villain, damn it.” 

“You feel like one for that loser ass confession, but I’ll let it slide. I need a fucking nap though. Getting my ass kicked and having incredible sex in the same day is exhausting.” 

He laughs as you lay down besides him, sitting up. Even in your half exhausted state, you catch the feeling of his lips on your forehead. 

“Get some rest you brat.” 

__ 

You wake up in a familiar bed. 

If the sore feeling of laying pipe wasn’t in your hips, you’re pretty damn sure you just woke up out of a dream. What the fuck just happened to you? Your back and body is sore, but you’re clean like you’ve been wiped down. You’re stark naked though. 

The idea that he could give you a wipe but not dress you makes you laugh. When you sit up, all of your clothes are sitting still on a chair. There’s some new clothes on top of them though, his clothes. You stand to your feet, your back cracking as loud as possible as you examine the wounds. You have some hickies now (when the hell did he leave those) and when you turn there’s some scratches on your back. You feel self-satisfaction as you get dressed. You should hit the showers when you feel less lethargic. 

When you’ve reconciled with the fact you didn’t just conjure up what happened a few hours ago, you trek back into the living room. You find Bakugou where you expect him, bent over the stove making dinner. You lean on the frame of the door with a grin before walking over to him. 

You don’t hesitate in sliding your hands on his waist under his tank top. Better, he doesn’t react like you’ve shot him dead. A laugh blooms in your chest. 

“Morning grandpa.” 

“You fucking—if you don’t sit down.” 

You snort, but sit yourself down at the counter like you did a few hours ago. 

“Whatcha making for dinner.” 

“Grilled fish and rice. There’s sides.” 

“Sounds healthy.” 

His ears turn red. 

‘“You have work tomorrow but you need to recover.” 

You couldn’t smile more if you fucking tried. 

“We gonna talk about what just happened,” You ask, pouring yourself a glass of water as you sit down. You take a long sip “Or are you gonna pretend to keep washing rice?” 

He sighs, putting down the dry rice and the cup to measure. He almost looks furious, but he’s too cute for it to mean anything to you. You grin. 

“Hey. Fucking. Look. Alright. You’re way too fucking young. I’m old enough to be your father a-and you only just barely got your life together, so yes I told you whatever I told you. But no fucking funny business until you’re at least 25 and your brain is developed more than a peanut.” 

You nod.. 

“Anyone ever tell you you’re kinda a coward old man?” You say thoughtfully. He looks pissed again but it’s too funny for you to care “What’s funny business? Sex? Cause if it is, I’ve got bad news.” 

“We just. We have to be careful.” 

“So I can kiss, hug, fuck you in private but keep it outta the press?” 

He stares at you, scratching his neck. “Yeah. Basically.” 

You give him a thumbs up, grabbing a snack off the tray on his table. Chips, the fancy kind. They’re good. 

“Got it. Can I stay over? I don’t feel like driving down to my hotel this late.” 

“....You’re not pissed?” 

You laugh. 

“Are you kidding? I wasn’t mad the first time cause you rejected me, I was mad cause you were acting all fucking ethical and holier-than-thou. I figured it was gonna be something like that anyway. And I’m not much of a romantic, so dates and shit are whatever to me,” 

“Forreal?” 

“Yeah. Having sex and staying over to hang out for a while is cool. It was your fat head worrying about it, not mine. Did Mr. Deku managed to talk you out of your crisis while I was asleep?” 

He gives you a look. Bullseye again. 

“You two keep in touch?” 

“He’s a good dude and he buys me a meal when I’m short on change. Jealous?” 

He turns away from you before answering. His ears are burning. You feel your heart squeeze. 

What shit taste you’ve got being head over heels for this old bastard, you wonder. 

“Just shut up and eat your chips.” 

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.”

[vemaro]

How did callums and astarions first meeting go? sorry, I’m just a sucker for asty boy with kids

I saw this ask in my inbox and knew I wanted to write it out. Tho I intended to make this a little blurb instead of a long mess lol. In the end, this thing kinda got away from me

Astarion makes some assumptions and you know what they say when you assume things.

…

“Astarion? Is … that really you?”

Fuck, maybe he shouldn’t have returned. Maybe he should leave. It’s been almost a year since the wedding and they last saw each other. What if she’s upset? What if she hates him for avoiding her for so long? He was avoiding her, except he doesn’t want to know he’s avoiding her.

Unfortunately for the vampire, all of his other friends have mentioned how much she asks about him. He’s been able to brush it off for months, ignore the urge to see her—and the love he still carried for her— but a foolish flame of hope has reignited in his heart. If Tav’s asking for him, perhaps he still has a chance. It’s a sign from the gods he stopped praying to centuries ago that maybe it’s still a possibility.

So here he is, on her stoop, feeling like an idiot. Too late to back out now.

He puts on a sharp toothed grin and gives her a bow. “In the flesh.”

Her eyes drink in everything, from his impeccably styled hair, to his blood red eyes, the bite marks peeking out from the collar of his shirt, and those laugh lines used to tease him about. He’s usually comfortable in the spotlight, but under her scrutiny, he’s horribly self-conscious. Tav has always been able to see right through him, whether he liked it or not. Except, of course, in the matter of the romantic feelings he harbors. He was never sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

Astarion breaks the silence. “Kobold got your tongue? Or has my sheer beauty left you speechless?”

His words seem to snap the druid from her reverie then she all but jumps on him for a hug. “Where have you been? I thought you were dead!”

He relaxes into the embrace. Gods, he missed being this close to her. “Technically, Tav, I’m already dead.”

She abruptly shoves him away, anger splayed across her face. “That’s not funny. I was worried, Astarion. I sent letters and you never sent any back. I couldn’t tell if the others were telling the truth when they said they’ve seen you, or lying to make me feel better.”

If only she knew the reason behind his lack of appearance. “My deepest apologies. I was busy dealing with a horde of ravenous vampire spawn.”

That seems to mollify her. Tav plants her hands on her hips and waggles a finger at him. “I understand, but if you can’t visit, at least write.”

“Fair enough,“ he concedes. “I’ll try to find time in my schedule.”

Content that she got her point across, Tav smiles and crosses her arms. “Thank you.” Then she steps aside and cocks her head past the entryway. “Come on in. I have something important to tell you.”

The last time she had to tell him something important, she announced her upcoming nuptials. At least not much else can top the heartbreak that wrought.

Unless …

No. No, someone definitely would’ve told him if she’s … His eyes drop to her middle. Absolutely not. He refuses to believe it. Damnit, he never should’ve come to see her. He never should’ve let himself hope.

Her better half walks into the foyer. “Tav, I can’t find my—” He stops when he spots the third wheel. “Oh. We have company.”

Astarion detests the man on principle, but he is Tav’s spouse so he’ll play nice. “Pardon my intrusion, Terrick.” He holds out a hand. “Astarion Ancunin. I’m—”

“One of my wife’s former allies. Yes, I recall our introduction at the wedding.” His eyes flicker to the bite marks on Astarion’s neck. His expression eludes to nothing, whether he was aware of his vampiric condition until now or had previous knowledge. He steps closer to Tav and puts a hand on her waist. “Welcome to our home.”

He retracts the offered hand. “It’s quite lovely,” he says, voice honey drenched. “Which is surprising. During our travels, her tent was always filled with trinkets and mementos from our adventures.”

Terrick arches an eyebrow. “I’m not one for clutter.”

Astarion shrugs. “A little clutter won’t do any harm.” He makes eye contact with Tav. “Each souvenir is associated with a happy memory.” She smiles and it feels like a small victory.

Terrick changes the subject. “I can’t find my blue doublet.”

Tav snickers. “You lost it a month ago.”

He purses his lips, displeased with the answer. “Ah. That slipped my mind.” He walks past them, heading for the steps that lead to the pathway. “Then I need another made.”

“If I could make a suggestion. Figaro’s shop—”

Terrick shakes his head. “Shops in the Lower City are of poor quality.”

Tav clasps her hands behind her back. “Actually, his clothes are very high quality and he offers a hefty discount.” They did save him from a murderous dwarf.

The man’s whole body palpitates. “Do I look like I require a discount?”

“No, but—”

He cuts her off. “We’ll discuss it later.” Astarion’s hand is on the hilt of his knife. He could throw it and have it land right between the eyes in two seconds flat. “I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up. Goodnight.” He makes sure to lock eyes with the vampire one more time. “Astarion,” he spits.

He has to hold back a sneer. “Terrick.” And he walks off into the night. Astarion glowers as they watch him disappear around the corner. “Charming, he is.”

“I didn't marry him for his personality.” Her tone is dry and flat, almost bored. “He’s gotten a bit moodier since the wedding though. Moreso recently.”

A scary thought comes to mind. There’s no subtle way of asking, so he just asks. “He doesn’t … hurt you, does he?” He waits for the slightest confirmation of abuse. Cazador’s death will look like child’s play by comparison if he has to hunt him down.

She swats the air. “No. Terrick huffs and puffs for show. As long as he funds the repairs and my projects, it’s fine.” But then her face softens. “But thanks for the concern.”

First comes the relief, followed by annoyance. He’s relieved no harm has come to the woman he loves, annoyed he doesn’t have reason to hate the man—more reason. That’s too bad. “Now that your loving husband has left the premises, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”

Her eyes light up with manic glee. “Oh yes!” Tav leads him inside, to the closest armchair and sits him down. “Wait here.”

Without another word, she hurries off, leaving behind a curious Astarion. So … perhaps he was worried for nothing. He was jumping to conclusions, coming up with worst case scenarios. Tav’s not going to tell him she’s with child. She doesn’t love Terrick. She’s admitted that on several occasions even before the wedding.

“Close your eyes!”

He does as he’s told. “Ooh, did you slip into something more comfortable?”

She stomps a foot. “If my arms weren’t full, I’d chuck something at you. Are your eyes closed?”

Her arms are full. Does she have a present for him? “Yes, dear.”

He hears her approach. “No peeking.” He holds his hands above his head, twirls them a couple times, and covers his eyes. Not long after that, he feels her presence just ahead of him. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Open your eyes.”

When he opens his eyes, his heart shatters into a million pieces. Swathed in a bundle of blankets, is exactly as he feared; a baby. A shock of blue hair. Topaz eyes. Pointed ears. Freckles sprinkled on the apples of his cheeks and across his button nose. Pale skin, though not nearly as pale as the vampire’s.

Tav bounces and sways in place. “Astarion, I’d like you to meet my son.” The mother is sporting the biggest and brightest grin he’s ever witnessed. “Callum.”

The words echo in his mind. Meet my son. They have a son. Tav and Terrick have a child together. Those two will forever be connected through this child and there is nothing Astarion can do to sever that bond. He’s not so selfish to wish for an unhappy marriage. The innocent soul brought into this world by the woman he loves doesn’t deserve that. He deserves his real father, not a man with fantasies of coveting his mother.

What honestly hurts most is the betrayal from his friends, if he can even call them that at this point. They knew, but elected to say nothing when they fussed at him for keeping away. Worse yet, she also chose not to tell him in any of the letters she sent. He never wrote back, but he read them all.

With the betrayal comes a fierce jealousy. He envies Terrick. Not for the intimacy of creating a child, but the bond a child brings. Astarion never fathomed fatherhood, never entertained the thought, not even after taking down his former master. He’s only just attained his freedom. It’s too soon to settle down, let alone start a family, if that was even possible for a vampire spawn. Now though, seeing the joy her son brings her, he would’ve been willing to try for her. He could picture himself with a child, their child, if that is what she asked of him. What would they look like? Like he used to before transforming into a creature of the night?

The baby voice she’s using is both nauseating and adorable. “Callum, this is one of my very best friends, Astarion,” she coos. “Say hi.”

“He’s …” Terrick’s. And Tav’s. “Beautiful, Tav.”

“Isn’t he?” she gushes. “You’re the first to see him. Gale and Wyll just barely missed it, but left before he came.”

He bows his head. “An honor, truly. And I must say, you look amazing for a woman who recently gave birth.”

She jerks her head back. “I’m sorry, what?”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “I mean no offense, my darling.”

Tav opens her mouth, shuts it, opens it again then bursts out laughing. She speaks between peels of laughter. “There has been … a misunderstanding … a huge misunderstanding.”

He frowns. The vampire is missing something, clearly. What is he missing? Is there somehow another child? Does Callum have a twin? “What?”

She reaches over and flicks his forehead. “I didn’t have him. Callum is adopted.”

There’s a prolonged silence of Astarion gawking up at Tav. “Adopted?” he parrots.

“Yes, adopted.” She perches herself on the edge of a table in front of the armchair. “I’m sorry, I thought it was obvious.”

He slaps his hands on the wooden handles. “How was it obvious?”

“Callum looks absolutely nothing like me. Or Terrick.” She lowers her head so her hair falls in the baby’s face. “Notice the difference in hair color.”

What would it take for a giant hole to appear in the ground and swallow him up? “What was I supposed to say when you tell me he’s your son? Oh wow, he doesn’t have your hair, eyes, nose, or complexion. Neither your husband’s. Do you have a mistress?” Astarion. Astarion would like to throw his hat in the ring if the position is open.

That makes her laugh even harder. “No! Oh my gods, Astarion. You thought I hid an entire pregnancy?” He’s too embarrassed to say anything. “You know Karlach can’t keep secrets. Not when they’re not life or death. She’s the reason we found out about Lae’zel and Shadowheart.” She blushes and avert her eyes. “And me and Halsin.”

Many emotions are coursing through him and he’s not sure which to process first. Callum is Tav and Terrick’s child, but not in the same sense he assumed previously. Blood relations are irrelevant. Though. He’s still their child. It must be a druid thing. Jaheira has a house in the Lower City, though he wouldn’t call her mother of the year. Halsin has been taking in some strays as well. What does that mean for Tav? Will she and Terrick continue to adopt more children?

He allows himself a half-hearted guffaw. “I forgot you and the bear rolled around in the leaves.”

Tav shudders. “I have no desire to have a child with Terrick. Even when we—” There’s an implied sleep together Astarion would prefer not to acknowledge. It conjures some images he’d rather not think about. “I don’t want children with him.”

He could drop to his knees, throw up his arms, and shout his praises to the gods right now. “There’s no need. You have the perfect child right here.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” She stands back up, beaming. “Would you like to hold him?”

He really should’ve seen this coming, but he didn’t. “Oh, uh, is it safe? Babies are fragile little things. I don’t want to, er, break him.” He sits as far back in the chair as he can, hands tucked underneath his thighs.

She slides over to one side of the chair. “Please?”

“I don’t know, darling.”

“Pretty please?” It’s difficult to turn her down while staring into those wide, trusting eyes. And then there was the baby. Eventually he gives in, holds up his hands with a deadpan expression on his face. Tav smirks. “Fix your arms.”

Ten seconds later, he’s holding an infant for the first time in two centuries of undead life. He peers down at the little boy. He’s probably wondering who the hells is this monster holding me? Astarion has no idea what to say besides an awkward, “Hello.”

One Callum’s hands break from the blankets and finds its way to lightly smack Astarion’s cheek. It doesn’t hurt really, but then he does it a couple more times. When he tries to stop the low level attack, Callum grabs one of his fingers and tugs as hard as his little body can manage.

Oh.

He’s only had Callum for ten seconds, but if anything were to happen to him, he would massacre everyone along the Sword Coast and then himself.

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 2

Prompts: AU+Movieverse/Jay Recs! *vibrates at the thought of Jay content*

AU/Movieverse Recs:

if you could date any of the ninja, which one would you date?: Lloyd experiences the world's worst second-hand embarrassment and the rest of the ninja absolutely are not helping. Not actually shippy, just really funny and Lloyd has a (mostly) light-hearted hard time.

Reference Letters: Kai is tasked with recruiting some fresh talent to the Secret Ninja Force, and what starts as a joke to welcome Lloyd Garmadon into the squad turns into a genuine crusade for his friendship. The Green Ninja, however, is having none of that. (It goes exactly how you expect it to and gah it's beautiful. Kai and Lloyd duo forever!)

Who's the New Guy? He Looks Awfully Green: Movieverse fic in which Lloyd is the last to become a ninja, and the last to learn everyone else's identities. It's full of team-bonding (collectively and one-on-one!), hilarious Wu moments, and Movie!Lloyd being Movie!Lloyd ;w;)/

Jay Recs:

Unfortunately, You're Amazing: Jay faces the dilemma of *maybe* possibly kinda sorta having a small little totally non-consequential thing for Samurai X. But beyond that Jay just gets to be his dorky, smart, snarky, easily impressed self and it's so fun and delightful to read, I go back to it all the time!

Play to Win: An au/ canon divergent whump fic where Jay and Cole are roped into a round of Scrap-N-Tap...and that description does NOT do it justice, but if you like emotional tension, a heaping of personal distress, and a Jay who is unfortunately one step ahead of everyone else, you'll love this. Probably not for the faint of heart, definitely for the angsty daredevils (such as myself)

Jay and the Important Differences Between Spider Pokemon: Pokemon AU that explores Jay's "perplexing" fear of spiders post S6. A fascinating and fun idea for a plot, plus, there's Pokemon. it's all good stuff!

And She Wore Blue, Right?: Jay starts suddenly having reason to look into who his birth mother is...was. Hits just right for people who've always wondered how the show might have tackles this little interesting conundrum.

turtle or the hare: WOW I forgot I read this one aaaaaaaa BUT Jay inadvertently meets his bio mom in a rather...expected place. God their personalities are so similar yet mesh so well hnnnnnnnng (we could have had it aaaaaaall)

Jay and the Deafening Sound: ...this one's mine BUT I've got all three categories covered—extremely about Jay, takes place in the movieverse, and has shades of my legacyverse au to boot <3 Not-so long story short, Jay finds himself up against the main faction of the Shark Army all on his own and finally has a good excuse to pop off with his powers <3

this doesn't really have a title but it IS really very good: A scene or so where Jay and Kai spat over caring for each other too much and it's just such a beautiful depiction of their relationship, rocky tho it may seem ;w;)/

The Fantastic Mr. Walker: All these years later and it's still my favorite Jay-related thing to exist. Really gotta re-read it again so I can be delightedly distressed all over again <3

[luvhughes43]

https://www.tumblr.com/luvhughes43/759352301265797120/we-should-talk-about-blake-and-jack-being-twins?source=share

OK hear me out on some of these!!!

Jack and Blake are generally pretty smart individually, like they both have a good amount of common sense that comes with maturing really early for their respective sports. But you put them within a 5km radius of each other? That common sense goes out the window. They're both instigators though! Jack has definitely convinced Blake it was a good idea to lint roll the sunburn off his back at one point. And Blake probably once convinced Jack to jump off a roof with her.

They went through a phase when they were really young where they were convinced that they were identical and would often try to switch places to see if people noticed. People did but pretended not to because they were kids. It was cute and fun until they tried to do it at school so that Blake could take Jack's math test (they were convinced it would work) and Ellen and Jim had to be called into the office. But thanks to that whole experience, they have practically the same mannerisms it's actually uncanny.

In relation to the previous HC, they're super in synch. They walk in synch (same foot per step, same arm per swing), their heads move in the same direction at the same time when they laugh (they also have the same laugh), they speak the same things at the same time constantly. Everyone's kind of gotten used to it, but it still kind of freaks Nico out.

Their twin telepathy is really strong. On numerous occasions Jack has told Nico to stop by the pharmacy after practice to get Blake some pain meds because he had "a feeling" that she'd need them for her back pains that night. And Blake has called Luke a bunch of times after morning skate ends to prepare an ice pack for Jack after practice because she "felt like he'd need it that day."

There was a time where they were always dressed in matching clothes and they lowkey miss it. They try to feel out what the other is wearing so that they'd match (even if it's just the color scheme).

Blake got higher grades in school and Jack has always been salty about it because "I was actually IN school while you were competing abroad. How the hell did you do better than I did???"

They keep each other grounded. Blake was on constant calls and meetups with Jack during his rookie year when he felt like he wasn't living up to the hype the team put on him. Jack was always the first person in and the last person out when Blake was in the hospital after her injury.

They constantly tell each other that they "should've eaten you in the womb." But make no mistake, if anyone else agrees with that statement, it's on sight.

After her Olympic win, Blake was asked who her biggest inspiration was and she said "My twin brother, Jack." He would never admit it, but he started bawling after she said that.

When the Devs win their first cup in years, Jack shouts out "Blakey this one's for you!" She cries even harder than she already was.

thank u for this ask!!!! 🫂🤍

oh they 100% don't have any common sense when they're with each other. they're always trying stupid trends they've seen online or theyre trying to invent life hacks. blake convinces jack to jump off a roof and into a pool with her one time and even tho it worked it was not the best idea they've ever had ! (quinn scolds them like the older sibling he is)

this is sooo😭😭 they seriously thought they were identical for awhile because everyone would go along with their "switching-places" schemes. when their teaches confronted them about their switching they absolutely refused to believe they were caught. they never broke character and thats when their parents were called to the school !

them being in sync is honestly so scary !! theres many a compilations on tiktok catching these moments. nico had never really noticed how in sync blake and jack were until him and blake started dated and... it took awhile to get used to! many times the phrase "oh they're just like that," was uttered by friends.

blake will be at the store and decide to pick up extra pain meds / a sweet treat etc. for jack because she had "a feeling". he does the same for her and its really sweet.

as kids they were always matching !!! especially with the identical twins phase like they took their matching SO seriously. now that theyre older they just call each other to see what the other is gonna wear when going out which sometimes ends up in the matching fits.

JACK IS SOO SALTY ABOUT THEIR GRADES !!!! he claims her grades dont actually count because she wasn't physically in class.

!!!!!!!! they're so supportive of each other. theyre always checking in on each other and are always there for each other during rough times. they definitely have planned sibling outings for this very reason. also, the nurses at the hospital definitely have had to stop jack from sneaking into blakes room after visiting hours were over.

nobody can talk shit about the twins but them !!

😭😭 this is so sweet and so true. he denies the tears but theres a few clips of him wiping his tears away in the stands at the olympics.

an interviewer asks who his inspiration was after winning the cup and he pays back his dues and says blake !! then after the interviews over hes heard shouting "this ones for you!!" directed at blake.

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x03

such an iconic episode, I'm so ready😩 (edit: ignore any typos you might find, I was going through it💀)

NOOOOOOOO THIS IS SO FKN FUNNY PLS LOOK AT THIS MAN'S HAIR I CAN'T BREATHE

Honestly I'm so thankful that not a single one of my schools was like this, it's like everyone just reached an unspoken agreement that bullying was uncool and we'd mind our own business.

needles😬

"Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?"

no you haven't but you definitely should, go on😌

*in unison* around where????

HELL YEAH FORCED PROXIMITY FTW

"Come on, do you know how many people would kill to relive their senior year of high school?"

No way in hell, and I had a relatively peaceful experience💀😭

"The last thing I want to be is a reporter."

She would absolutely be perfect but let's get one thing straight: If there's a person on this show who knows when to mind their own fucking business, it's LOIS🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean both Chloe and Lois make valid points, she's 17 and while I totally understand why Abby did it, it really is a bit concerning. Especially considering her mother has been pushing her to do it for the last 3 years😬

I got a comment from a helpful user under my post for last episode (ty🥰), apparently Jason is roughly the same age as Lex?? And he started dating Lana when she was 17?? AND HE'S THE FKN ASSISTANT COACH AT SCHOOL?

Clark wants to try out for the team again🥺

Jonathan let Martha have a job off the farm dude come on, be supportive. YES THANK YOU

omg did he fake his parent's signature on the permission slip???

"...they want people to look at them differently."

he's making points🤷🏻‍♀️

UGH I'm so weak for happy, excited Clark just look at himmm😭🥹

"Maybe if I'd been more patient I would've seen who you really are." EEEEEEEW throw the whole man away🤢

honestly fuck everyone who destroyed her self-esteem to the point where she's flattered bc a crusty man like that shows interest

asjaksjaksj

he's not even denying it-

PLSSSS their faces, especially Lois😭

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

and look at Lois "not interested in journalism" Lane right on the story😌😌😌

I'm connecting some dots here and I don't like ittttt😬😬

"I still can't believe that you have a job at my school."

I feel like Lana has had more personality in these last few episodes than she had in the last 3 seasons combined, so that's great to see.

Lex knowssss👀

OMFG LOIS I LOVE YOU

I'mghfdjfghdj LOIS ARE U FREE ON MONDAY-

look at herrrrr😭 LISTEN IF I HAD CLARK'S POWERS-

I mean I agree that beauty is on the inside but that's very easy to say when you look like a literal angel💀 OOp evil surgery lady just said the same thing I did idk how to feel about that💀💀

I love that they're already establishing little things about her, she's messy, she can't spell etc. (though Chloe sounded a bit passive aggressive in both instances, maybe I'm just reading it wrong tho😬)

"It looks like Lois is one step ahead of us." THAT MAKES ME SO PROUD🥺🥺

Clark saving Lois and then Lois saving Clark is something so personal to me actually-

UGH LOOK AT THEMMMMMM😭

*kicks woman* "Bitch."

her lil smile seeing her article in the torch😭

yesss she has fans as she fucking should😌

(Can I just quickly say that as much as I love Homecoming, they could've had at least ONE person at the reunion remember Lois from high school, watching that shit left permanent scars on my soul, it was so cruel😭 Like come on, if reading her article was a "life changing experience" for some students, it would make total sense for SOMEONE to remember her. (yes I'm super salty and what about it))

FUUUUUUUCK I JUST REALIZED I HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I'M NOT EVEN AT THEE DUNK TANK SCENE😭 (off to delete some of them I guess😭)

omg here it comes

"Come on Lois, didn't those guys at the base teach you anything?" "Wouldn't you like to know."

akasjkasdjak YOU KNOW HE WOULD

they wanna bone so bad it makes them look like absolute fucking clowns there I said it

DOESN'TMATTERCAUSEYOU'REGOINGDOWNTHAT'LLBETHEDAYSKADWNKW can you tell I'm losing my last shred of dignity here

ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY CLEARED MY SKIN IMPROVED MY GRADES WALKED MY DOGS ETC THIS SCENE CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-

and Tumblr won't even let me upload my 5732893 screenshots where's the justice😭

[pedrisbanana]

Ooh girl if your gonna write for Schlotti, could you write some thigh riding please? Because they actually drive me insane 😂 (no worries if not tho! ❤️)

Nico boo never skips leg day…

Enjoy 🍌

Thighs

You watched as Nico got dressed for the final fitting of the new Coal & Steel kit. His phone lit up, just after he unbuttoned his jeans.

The blonde walked over to the small table where his phone was, fly open and the bulge of his manhood peeking through.

Sometimes being the social media manager of Borussia Dortmund needed absolute focus. Oh and focused you were.

He laughed at whatever he was reading, making the defined muscles of his stomach flex. If he did this on purpose, it definitely worked. You quickly turned away, pretending to check the camera in your hand.

„Do you know when the jersey will be released ?" Nico asked you, his voice sweet as ever.

„Umm I think around February 2023, but it's not settled yet." you answered as if you didn't have a hard time keeping your eyes away from his naked torso.

You loved working with BVB and you were always being professional, but when they bought Nico Schlotterbeck in the summer of 2022, you knew it was going to be a challenge.

He gained massive popularity at Freiburg and the hype didn't leave you out. If he knew you were a fan, let alone know about the little crush you had, you probably could leave Germany.

After he was done getting dressed, you led him to the set. The orange flickery lighting made his skin glow and his brown eyes seem golden. The photographer instructed him to do a few poses and you also took a few pictures and videos for instagram. Nico was really photogenic.

You left the set and went to the empty makeup & break area to edit the posts. Nico was the last player who came to shoot today, so by the time he came back to get dressed again, most of the staff had already left.

"Already done ? That was quick."

The defender grabbed a water bottle and sat down on the chair in front of the mirror.

"What can I say? I'm just a pro. " the playful smirk he sent your way made wetness pool in your panties.

He nipped at the opening of his water bottle and ran his hand through his bleached hair.

"The lights were really warm" he commented.

You just couldn't help but focus on his black shorts, which had travelled up his big, muscular thighs. The pale skin looked smooth and you wanted to run your hands up them to feel if they actually were.

Nico seemed to notice your stare, because he broke the silence.

„Do you want to sit or why are you staring ?“

Your eyes shot up to meet his, mouth opening.

„Umm-„ Your cheeks felt hot. „Why would I want to sit on your lap ?“ The laugh you let out sounded forced and you mentally cursed yourself for being so obvious.

The footballer in front of you crossed his arms and raised his brow. The smirk on his lips widened.

„I never said anything about my lap, but if that was what’s distracting you, then“ he cut off his sentence by pointing to his thighs with a quick motion of his gaze.

Your cheeks must be as red as a pepper now, but the daring sparkle in his brown orbs was intriguing you to take this a step further. How far would he go ?

„Okay, then“ you repeated his choice of words and slowly climbed onto his lap.

Your hands were holding onto his broad shoulders for leverage, as you carefully set your weight on his muscles. Nico‘s hands found your waist and his touch burned through the thin material of your shirt.

The skirt you wore didn’t cover your knees, so it pooled against his knees. The only barrier separating your core from his skin being light cotton panties.

He guided your hips, noticing you didn’t fully sit down. You still hovered, because if you sat down on his thigh, he‘d knew how much this situation had you dripping.

Nico won and the touch of his warm thigh against your core made you moan. Your hands fisted the black jersey and your hips bucked forward, seeking friction.

His lips found your jawline, leaving soft pecks up to your ear.

„Is this for me, hm? Your little pussy sopping wet, making a mess on my lap“ Nico‘s hands slipped down to cover your ass under your skirt, pulling you closer.

You moved your hips back and forth on his legs, supported by Nico massaging the soft flesh of your backside. With closed eyes you enjoyed the pleasure given to you.

„Oh Nico. Your thighs. Fuck.“ Your words echoed through the room. He started to flex his thigh ever so often, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

When you felt the familiar pressure building in your lower stomach, one of your hands moved from his shoulder to push your shirt over your bra. Pushing the cups down, you played with your hardened buds, seeking your release.

You came with Nico‘s lips on yours. His kiss swallowed your scream, as you rode out your orgasm.

Regaining your breath, you noticed Nico staring up at you in awe. It made you blush, which seemed odd considering what the two of you had just done.

„I‘m sorry. Now you‘re thigh is all sticky and you‘re umm-„ you got up from his lap and pointed towards his crotch. „- in a situation“

Nico laughed at you. He whole heartly, loudly laughed at you. You scrunched your brows. What was so hilarious?

„You use me or rather my thigh as your sex toy and now you apologize and can’t even talk about my erection without looking like a beet“ he said, a big smile displaying on his face.

You felt offended. „I didn’t use you as my sex toy, also I apologized.“

Nico cocked his head to the side, thinking about s proper reply while staring at your still semi exposed chest.

„Hmm why don’t you apologize properly then ? Bent over the table and offer me to use you for my pleasure ?“

You looked at the table, then the mirror and then back to him. He was serious about it.

New pleasure waved through your body. The thought of getting fucked by him against the mirror made you incredibly hot.

As you walked towards the table, he followed close behind. You could see that Nico stroked himself, pants pulled to his knees. One of his hands added light pressure between your shoulder blades and you bend, hands grasping the wood of the table top.

With a few smart flicks of his hand he ripped your panties and guided himself inside of you.

He filled you to the brim. His thick member massaged all the right spots inside of you.

Nico fucked you with a slow pace, careful not to slip out. You were a moaning mess, the first orgasm only being an appetizer to this.

He breathed and groaned words of pleasure himself, enjoying every sweet clench of your tight pussy.

Nico picked up the pace, instructing you to rub your most sensitive spot. His thrusts became harder and you couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut at the intense feeling.

Another, stronger orgasms announced and you hoped Nico wouldn’t pull out. The feeling pf his cum inside you would definitely tip you over the edge.

„Don’t pull out- Nico, fuck. Please don’t.“

Your words spurred him on to find his own release. You felt his hot breath on your cheek. A light peck joined by sinful words.

„If you want my cum, doll, you better swallow it and if you spill, you‘ll never have my cock again“

At that your whole body started to shake, the intensity of your orgasm washing over you. You clenched around nothing, because Nico let go of you, to pull you off the table and on your knees.

Without asking you immediately took him between your lips. It only took a few thrusts of his hips to fill your mouth up.

You swallowed greedily, licking your lips.

Nico helped you stand up. Both of you redressed, not saying a word.

Touching up your makeup, you saw Nico was ready to leave.

„By the way, it’s nice to know you’re a fan.“ he winked and left the room.

You stared at the door, dumbfounded. He was definitely not letting you down on that.

A/N: The Schlotterbecks can get it.

I hope my Nico girlies feel satisfied 💕🥺

[caspersickfanfics]

*slams door open*

Cyno with a concussion. Cyno dazed confused with some badly placed jokes as he brushes it off. But because of the context Tighnari and him have to keep moving, make sure everyone else is okay, help out the rangers etc. Cyno with a concussion that is sneaky cuz adrenaline keeps him moving.

but it doesn’t last, and eventually he gets more clumsy, and his head hurts more. Hes trying to crack jokes to help him and Tighnari shake off the stress but…it’s hard to come up with good ones when his head is pounding…He’s learning tho so he asks nari for pain meds once back home. He feels extra tired, and his thoughts feel…slippery? Did Tighnari just ask him a question? Huh. He’s making food, but his stomach kinda…feels weird..

Im imagining it’s not until Cyno throws up said pain meds before they even have a chance to take effect that Tighnari initiates concision protocol. And what I also am imagining is how annoying it would be for Cyno who just is nauseous and wants to sleep but has to be woken up every hour to make sure his brains don’t turn into applesauce

This is brought to you by procrastination and my own experiences with concussions

:D

*pats you on the head and politely closes door*

HELLO i'm still obsessed with this it's so good i don't even know how to respond i just adore your brain!!!!!! and i need to write this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i like the idea of this happening in Gandharva Ville and with the forest rangers around, like the forest watchers i'm sure have good training but they're not professionals to the same degree as the matra, so i could absolutely see it throwing him off to the point of making a mistake or getting hurt if one of them stepped out of line.

thank you for sending me this, i am definitely going to continue mulling it over until i can pull it into some kind of cohesive fic <333 (and thank you for the head pats 🥰 )

[the-golden-comet]

So I saw the results of the character poll and I would like to voice my support of Noah as the all time GOAT of the Goldencomet-verse

Ik Peter won, and don't get me wrong, I love Peter, but maybe he's a bit too much of an asshole. Like, he doesn't catch enough retribution for his actions and Benji is kinda forced to deal with it and it's played off as a joke. Sure, Benji flings enough insults to make a French man laugh, but none of them are really taken seriously by anyone (especially that dress scene. That was wrong and no one ever apologized in the slightest, even Peter). I need some retribution and I need some W's for me to ride or die for a ship.

That all being said, that's one of the reasons why I LOVE Noah (and Ali). Noah, while being super introverted (from what I've seen), he's still not taking shit from anyone. AND ALI RESPECTS IT 👏👏. I like myself a relationship built off of genuine pure-bred respect. That's why I love enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers (even though idk if YWIMC counts as either. Could be wrong tho). Most of the time in those two tropes, the romance stems from genuine (although begrudging) RESPECT. And respect and pity are two different things. 'Aw poor *insert character here*' also isn't a good relationship foundation. If the relationship isn't built off of long-standing respect of the 'I see you as my equal' caliber, I don't want it.

I would also like to voice my love for Noah in a separate paragraph, cause I kinda just yapped about the relationship lol. Noah, as I mentioned, doesn't take shit from NOBODY. 'Introverted' sure as hell doesn't mean pushover when it comes to Noah. And, for every ounce of not taking shit, there's an equal amount of softness towards those he loves. You need an equal balance for a delicious romance and he does it perfectly 🤌🤌. I also like that, while he isn't the strongest physically, he's still not a pathetic mop of a character. He earns his wins through his own means and HE DESERVES IT. Even when he has help, he's not the ever constant damsel in distress waiting for his big strong boyfriend to save him. He does something, he tries his best, and I respect him for it.

And i would like to end this with saying I love Peter Hart, even though ik it sounded like I was hating lol. It was a really fun read and funny a lot of times. Ig getting away with assholery just strikes a sore spot 😂

One last side note: I will definitely be reading YWIMC when it comes out if you can't tell (and also sorry for the rant)

I am absolutely in love with this post!! Thank you so much for making it!! Don’t ever feel bad for voicing an opinion of my characters! In fact, I am so happy to see Noah get some genuine love!! This post gave me the goofiest smile and I appreciate you making it 💛✨

Noah has a soft spot in my own heart because of his jaded “front,” but he’s not afraid to let his vulnerability show….ESPECIALLY around Ali. Noah has trouble expressing his emotions due to his ASD, so seeing him make genuine wins and setting firm boundaries with people make us go, “YES! Don’t take shit from anyone! 👏 👏 👏”

One of the main themes of YWIMC is stepping outside of comfort zones and letting rigid barriers fall (in Noah’s case) whereas the lesson that Ali learns is that you can love someone regardless of your upbringing, and to eventually get over fears of attachment.

Seeing so much love for Noah is genuinely heartwarming, and I thank you so much for making this ask! 💫

(And Peter is such an asshole lmao. Entertaining, but an asshole nonetheless. This is a totally valid criticism of his character 😂✨)

[thedorkyidiot]

I 100%-ed Banjo-Kazooie, again. This took me 6 hours and 40 minutes

Thoughts on each world under the cut because why not!

Spiral Mountain has peak music and it’s a great tutorial level.

Gruntilda’s Lair is amazing with how whimsical it is, Grunty having her face plastered in almost every room, each world’s entrance looking like it’s from an indoor play place, the music! It’s great!

Mumbo’s Mountain is definitely a first world, nothing too crazy going on but nothing is truly bad about, comparing it to first world of Tooie tho there’s far less stuff to do, I mean Tooie does start you with all the moves from the previous game so makes sense. A pretty decent first world.

I died multiple times in Treasure Trove Cove for some reason, but it’s a pretty good world as well! I have no strong opinions on it like Mumbo’s Mountain but it’s definitely a step up compared to it.

Clanker’s Cavern is a good water level idc what anyone says, you hardly spend that much time actually under water, even when you are the longest you’ll be in it is when you’re releasing Clanker of his chains. You spend most of it on, in, or around Clanker, ITS A GOOD WATER LEVEL AND A GOOD WORLD!

Bubble Gloop Swamp is definitely another world lmao, nothing bad about it again I just have no strong opinions on it, it definitely exist, I will give it props to having some memorable set pieces like the giant gator head and the huge turtle.

Freezeezy Peak is one of the best snow worlds, one reason is that ice physics don’t suck mainly due to Kazooie, and also CHRISTMAS ITS ALL CHRISTMAS THEMED, gets you into the festive vibe just by listening to the music and looking at all the set pieces! I did lose to Boggy twice someone, my hatred for Boggy has now been established. It’s also the only time you absolutely need to backtrack and I think it’s fine in this game.

Golbi’s Valley sucks mainly because I usually remember what jiggies are where with the set pieces around them, EVERYTHING IS SAND AND PYRAMIDS HERE IT SUCKS! My personal worst world in Banjo-Kazooie but not because it’s actually bad but because of the fact I can’t remember where anything is.

I can’t remember a single thing I did in Mad Monster Mansion, which is weird because I like it but I guess there aren’t any like really memorable set pieces bedsides the main mansion in the center of the level and the maze I guess. It’s still really good and gives off the Halloween vibe!

I actually don’t dislike Rusty Bucket Bay as much as I would’ve thought, especially compared to a certain other world. You only need 3 things in the oily water and it’s not that hard to not fall off into the water so it’s not really an issue, and the Xbox version fixes the music notes issue so the engine room is fine, I mean I never usually die in there anyways but ya know lmao. Only gripe I have with it is there’s no set pieces other than the Boat itself, and I did have to look up where the last empty honey comb was (didn’t have to look up anything else in any other world) but ya know pretty decent world!

Idk if it was because I was really tired and it was late but Click Clock Wood has gone to one of my favorite worlds to one of my least favorites, it’s mainly due to the fact I kept falling down the damn tree and the fucking birds have horrible hit boxes and would knock me down the tree whenever I would try to kill them. Other than those two things the concept of going to through the same level multiple times but the seasons change showing the passage of time really cool! The winter section is probably my favorite but that’s probably because there’s no birds and hardly any enemies. I did have to look up where the last jiggy was for this world, I forgot that there was one in spring all the way at the top you need to get with the bee lmao. Pretty good stage I just hate the birds.

That has been my Ted talk and you’ve been watching a fish, smoking a cigarette (I’m gonna hate Banjo-Tooie)

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 6/?

previous / next

TW: alcohol and dazai tries not to make a sexual remark at one point

“You’re supposed to put your hand on my shoulder blade, you know?”

Slightly nudging his hand a bit upwards I continued talking.

“This is my butt you’re touching.”

“No way! This is your waist.”

“I think I know my own anatomy better than you do”

Now he was biting his lip. Yep he’s definitely trying not to make the a bit too sexual remark that would fit perfectly.

“Don’t you dare say it.”

“I’m gonna say it.”

“Dazai, no.”

“Dazai, yes!”

Now too busy laughing he stepped on my foot.

“Oh shit I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine! It’s fine!”

This made us laugh even harder. He threw his head back. His adam's apple moved slightly while he laughed.

He collected himself soon after to continue talking:

“You look very mean but you’re actually very fun to be around Ophelia.”

“No one has ever said that to me to be honest.”

“That you look mean or that you’re fun?”

“That I’m fun. I get that ‘oh you look a bit unpleasant’ thing a lot.”

“Yeah I thought so.”

“Hey!”

Yep he deserved that (lighthearted) slap on his arm. He just smiled. And so did I. Just a peaceful, joyful moment between the two of us. Just the two of us. I’ve never imagined myself being so happy in Japan. So happy with him. Stumbling over our own feet in my small living room we had the time of our lives. I may not know why I let him in or how he managed to find a place in my heart but for now I was content.

I was quiet for too long and as always the detective saw right through me.

“Ophelia, you’re thinking again.”

“Don’t worry this time it’s nothing depressing.”

“So what are we thinking about, huh?”

“About this memory we’re making right now.”

This earned me a small chuckle from him.

“I think it’s going to land in the ‘the few happy moments I’ve got to experience in this life’ drawer in my brain.”

“When it comes to my little brain library” Dazai looks right at me “I think so too.”

I was right. This memory did indeed end up in a tiny little happy file in both of our “brain libraries” as he told me at another of our meetups later on. And I cherish this moment, this night, to this day. I really think Dazai made me experience pure happiness, not a bad intention or motive behind our actions, for the first time in years. And so I laughed and danced and drank with him, not caring about the tripping over feet or the emptying of bottles and smell of cheap booze.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

What I did not realize was that just like those bottles left in my kitchen I would remain empty the next morning as well. He must’ve left sometime in the middle of the night while I was already asleep. I had offered him my couch. After refusing the offer at first he decided to lie down and sleep. I begged him to. With his face red and not being able to stand straight at the end of our drinking escapades he was not more sober than I was.

To your information I was absolutely hammered. I ended up waking up in my everyday clothes. Those I had also greeted him in. I must’ve ended up passing out after Dazai had drifted off to sleep.

But while being oh so aware of the fact that I was alone again I couldn’t ignore the cozy blanket I was tugged into. I couldn’t recall ever having thrown one over myself last night.

It was a bittersweet morning after. You only ever realize what you had, what you missed out on, after you’ve had it, after you’ve experienced it. And now that his laughter didn’t fill the room I became painstakingly aware of how the solitude I thought I always had was never truly solitude. It was loneliness.

I could be as strong and cunning as ever, invincible even, but I was in desperate need of human interaction. I was human and just became aware of that fact again.

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

[Holy shit this took me way too long. But here I am! Ready to serve! I can’t promise that I’m going to be consistent tho. Still hope you enjoy either way. And please drink some water and unclench your jaw. I know you should be doing both.]

[slowdripsunrise]

ooookkkkkk so its been like. months since i last updated this blog so here we go im just gonna write my feelings out about the books i've read i will try to get through all of them but maybe won't i'll stop writing when i get bored soz. spoilers for many various books under the cut!

ok. first book i read since i last updated my reads on here was i will greet the sun again by khashayar j khabushani! this was such a beautiful piece of work and i really recommend it for anyone who needs a good cry, but still wants a happy/not extremely tragic ending. the writing was beautiful and i think one of my favorite scenes/settings was the beach... the way it was described. as well as the way iran was described, it was so lovely even though there were many bad memories attached to it. that and the K's relationship with Johnny were my fave parts. it was so sweet reading about them and even tho i read this a while ago so i don't remember much, this story has stuck with me throughout... not so much as the exact scenes, but the feelings and emotions i was feeling while reading it. definitely recommend!!!

next i read the life changing magic of tidying up by marie kondo! this was a great little book about organization and lifestyle and i recommend to anyone who maybe wants to get a different perspective on organization! i read and finished this before bed one night, woke up, and started reorganizing and cleaning up my space lmao. no it didnt stay that way, but the effort was there. i don't think that this book is necessarily life changing, however it does offer new ideas about tidying up, and gives some good tips on how to go about it. one of the things i thought pretty relevant to me were the steps in which u should organize, or choosing one thing to organize and only doing that one thing. like doing all of the clothes in the house at once, or toys, etc. instead of a room at a time. for me, i get distracted very easily if i'm doing 4 different things at once, so this is something i wanna try out more! the way the book is set up too makes it easily rereadable, just for a refresher, which i like lol

next i read braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer!!! 5/5 stars one of my top books i read this year 100%. easily. this book was wonderful and engaging and informative and i absolutely loved it. the way the author weaves facts and information along with the story and narrative is so lovely and makes me want to pick up her other book, gathering moss (i think) immediately. this shit was addicting! the stories from her life and the stories from her culture and history were so captivating and immersive oh my god. i think some of my favorite stories of hers where the ones with her students. the camping trip in the marsh (i think it was a marsh. some sort of wetlands....) was lovely; as well as the stories with her daughters. AND THE ENDIGN OHGHHHH MY GOD i had shivers literally all over me. like almost cried not out of sadness but awe of her writing. there were times i almost cried of sadness tho. 5/5 i need to read more from this author.

next - ok. OH KAY. oh also ive decided i'm just going to group all of the books in a series together, especially when i read them all pretty close in time to each other, because a lot of times they all blend together in my head. all this to say - i read the all for the game series by nora sakavic. i went into it knowing it was about gay people that play made up sports and maybe a little bit of mafia esque action was going on. i came out of it extremely entertained and needing to read the next one in the series LMAO this shit was so awesome and epic. 5/5 stars. i've aged out of YA so i usually steer clear of it (especially some of the newer ones. it feels like so much of YA has lost all amounts of trust in their readers and focuses more on publishers and algorithms and such but. whatever) however this is a tumblr classic and you know what i wanted to read something fun and entertaining so thats exactly what i did. i've seen a lot of people ok not a lot a couple people point out that the writing isn't good or isn't super high level or whatever. who give a shit. idk i feel like people are trying to justify liking or reading something that most would consider "bad" or "immature" or. idk the exact word im looking for, ig like a guilty pleasure?? theyre trying to justify it by saying things like "oh yeah, i know the writing is bad But the characters-" or "oh yeah its written like fanfic but-" like yall its fine. it's chill. calm down. personally i didn't think the writing was bad. i thought it was average. also there's nothing wrong with writing a fanfic-esque story, the problem is you people can't suspend ur damn disbelief for more than 2 minutes and have fun. sorry that was a huge rant that wasn't even about the book back to the books I HAD FUN. she did what she needed to to. will i read the sunshine court? yeah probably if i remember. would i recommend this to everyone? no. only people with taste. this was a blast definitely look up trigger warnings tho like. there was more mafia involvement than i originally thought there would be lol. characters slayed. relationships between them were fun to read about. go foxes.

ok this is long so i am going to end it here we are not even close to done but i will try to remember to continue going through everything and then maybe i'll try and compile some of my stats from storygraph for like an end of year thing even tho it's more than halfway through january lol.