#ninjagon fanfiction

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 2

Prompts: AU+Movieverse/Jay Recs! *vibrates at the thought of Jay content*

AU/Movieverse Recs:

if you could date any of the ninja, which one would you date?: Lloyd experiences the world's worst second-hand embarrassment and the rest of the ninja absolutely are not helping. Not actually shippy, just really funny and Lloyd has a (mostly) light-hearted hard time.

Reference Letters: Kai is tasked with recruiting some fresh talent to the Secret Ninja Force, and what starts as a joke to welcome Lloyd Garmadon into the squad turns into a genuine crusade for his friendship. The Green Ninja, however, is having none of that. (It goes exactly how you expect it to and gah it's beautiful. Kai and Lloyd duo forever!)

Who's the New Guy? He Looks Awfully Green: Movieverse fic in which Lloyd is the last to become a ninja, and the last to learn everyone else's identities. It's full of team-bonding (collectively and one-on-one!), hilarious Wu moments, and Movie!Lloyd being Movie!Lloyd ;w;)/

Jay Recs:

Unfortunately, You're Amazing: Jay faces the dilemma of *maybe* possibly kinda sorta having a small little totally non-consequential thing for Samurai X. But beyond that Jay just gets to be his dorky, smart, snarky, easily impressed self and it's so fun and delightful to read, I go back to it all the time!

Play to Win: An au/ canon divergent whump fic where Jay and Cole are roped into a round of Scrap-N-Tap...and that description does NOT do it justice, but if you like emotional tension, a heaping of personal distress, and a Jay who is unfortunately one step ahead of everyone else, you'll love this. Probably not for the faint of heart, definitely for the angsty daredevils (such as myself)

Jay and the Important Differences Between Spider Pokemon: Pokemon AU that explores Jay's "perplexing" fear of spiders post S6. A fascinating and fun idea for a plot, plus, there's Pokemon. it's all good stuff!

And She Wore Blue, Right?: Jay starts suddenly having reason to look into who his birth mother is...was. Hits just right for people who've always wondered how the show might have tackles this little interesting conundrum.

turtle or the hare: WOW I forgot I read this one aaaaaaaa BUT Jay inadvertently meets his bio mom in a rather...expected place. God their personalities are so similar yet mesh so well hnnnnnnnng (we could have had it aaaaaaall)

Jay and the Deafening Sound: ...this one's mine BUT I've got all three categories covered—extremely about Jay, takes place in the movieverse, and has shades of my legacyverse au to boot <3 Not-so long story short, Jay finds himself up against the main faction of the Shark Army all on his own and finally has a good excuse to pop off with his powers <3

this doesn't really have a title but it IS really very good: A scene or so where Jay and Kai spat over caring for each other too much and it's just such a beautiful depiction of their relationship, rocky tho it may seem ;w;)/

The Fantastic Mr. Walker: All these years later and it's still my favorite Jay-related thing to exist. Really gotta re-read it again so I can be delightedly distressed all over again <3

[good-ol-garmi]

Cole

Every ninja has problem...

-- -- -- -- --

Here we go, one fanfiction, ready to go!

I've been typing these headcanon angst fics (based off this post!) for months, and figured that it was about time I began posting them on here.

Everytime a new chapter is posted, I will post a link to the next one/previous one at the bottom.

Trigger Warning For Eating Disorders

If You Are Sensitive To This, Do Not Read, Or Read With Caution

Enjoy!

-- -- -- -- --

Cole couldn't stop.

It was an endless cycle of pain. Even after all these years, after all those late nights over the toilet, he still couldn't make himself stop purging.

Whenever he felt insecure or stressed, he'd stop eating. He'd call it a ‘diet’, but in reality he wouldn't eat anything at all. After a while, he'd start feeling better, and he'd eat again. He wouldn't just eat, he'd binge. Until the guilt set in.

After he was finished bingeing, however long that lasted, he'd make his way to the bathroom. He would be disgusted by how much he ate. He would be disgusted with himself. In turn, he would stick his fingers into the back of his throat and empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl.

It was painful. It was disgusting. He hated it.

But he also couldn't make himself stop.

Mia was a constant whisper in the back of his head. She wouldn't let him stop, wouldn't let him out of the cycle, no matter how much he hated his self-destructive tendencies. Mia was good at overtaking his judgement. Mia was silver-tongued.

Although, at this point, he couldn't tell his own thoughts from Mia’s. Cole figured they might even be one-and-the-same nowadays.

It's hard to track things like this down to one singular moment, or one singular cause. For Cole, it was probably a mixture of things. The pressure from his father, and the resulting pressure from that corner of society. The failing health of his mother. His physical fitness, and the guilt that neither of his parents were able to achieve that.

He remembered telling himself not to eat. He wasn't sure what he was trying to achieve. Weight loss, self-punishment - for one reason or another, he felt that he held a certain power if he skipped meals. And it was hard. Really hard. Cole loved to eat.

But he was successful… For about six days. At the end of his first week, he was just too hungry. With minimal self-control, and having always been a fairly impulsive person (as teenagers tend to be), he feasted on anything and everything he could find in his father’s kitchen.

And then, full of anger and guilt and food, he felt lost. He felt hopeless. He felt awful.

He wasn't sure what made him do it the first time. It seems like such a weird thing to come up with. Cole thinks he read it, somewhere; read something about bringing back up what he was ashamed to have put down. So, without thinking about the consequences, he made his way to the bathroom. He felt surprisingly calm.

He knelt, shoved his fingers down his throat, and his life was changed forever.

And that's how it began, his relationship with Mia. It only got worse, more cemented in his brain, as it continued. He wasn't sure if his parents knew what was happening - tried to only purge when they weren't around. But they had to have noticed, right?

Noticed that he needed help?

Once his mother died, and he ran off to climb mountains and grieve, it got surprisingly better. He was still devastated by his mother’s death, and angry at his father, but his eating and mental state became stable.

Looking back, he thinks it was the environment. Being outside, as well as away from society, was good for him.

Everything was great for a while. Master Wu brought him to the monastery. There, he would become friends with Zane, Jay, Kai, and Nya - all of whom would be his friends for life. They fought to help, to save, people (with Lloyd eventually joining the team). It was an amazing (albeit stressful) experience.

Until Zane died.

When he grieved for his mother, he managed to get better. When he grieved for Zane, his disorder came back with vengeance. The same emotions - mainly anger and guilt - overcame him once again. He went off to go work in the woods, away from the city, but this time nature didn't help.

And this time, he didn't get better.

One would think that becoming a ghost would have made everything easier; that he couldn't have had an eating disorder if his body didn't require him to eat. In reality, it was the exact opposite. The desire, the yearning, was still present. But he was physically unable to act upon it. If anything, it only made him worse.

And then, as if to add insult to injury, he regained his humanity.

Which, at first, made him very happy. He was human again! But even though he was beyond excited about the return of his physical body, that didn't mean that he ate normally. Nope. It was right back to where he left off before.

But in its return, in its growing severity since his first trip to Yang’s temple, he was less careful. He didn't check to see who was on the Bounty. He didn't check to see where anyone was. He might have even forgotten to lock the door. He just binged and then found himself kneeling in front of the toilet.

He vomited twice before he heard the knock on the bathroom door. “Cole? Are you alright in there?”

“I think I ate something,” he began the scripted excuse he used to give his father, on the rare occasion he had heard, “that didn't agree with me.”

“Are you, uh, sure?” He heard Jay continue. “You need any, uh, help?”

Yes, he thought, wanting to cry it loud, I need help.

“Jay, I'm throwing up. How are you supposed to help with that?” Cole asked.

A pause, and then, “I don't know, man. A hug? A therapist?”

Panic. “A what?”

“Therapist. You know, to talk to.” He chuckled, nervously. “Sorry I’m not any good at this. I just don't know what to do.”

Cole wiped his mouth with a piece of toilet paper, then his nose, and then flushed everything down. He called to him, giving Jay permission to enter. Cole looked him right in the eye with as much confidence as he could muster after being bent over a toilet bowl. “What do you know?”

Jay shrugged, chuckled that nervous chuckle he does, knelt down next to Cole, and then spoke. “Uh, forgive me for making assumptions, especially if I'm wrong, but, well…”

“Maybe explain with less filler words?” Cole requested.

“Right!” Jay exclaimed. “With the way you don't eat with us all the time, or the binges you go on, I had an inkling that something was wrong. But now that I've caught you, like, vomiting…”

Cake crunched his brows. His heart was pounding. Jay was so close… “What are you insinuating?”

“You're bulimic, aren't you, Cole?”

His heart sunk all the way down to his stomach. No. Jay knew. Jay knew. He knew the name and everything.

Cole didn't say a word.

In the silence, Jay quickly retracted his statement. “Oh! Am I wrong? I'm wrong, aren't I? Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-”

“You aren't wrong, Jay.” He forced out. He didn't want anyone to know, but… “You aren't wrong.”

Jay’s expression shifted slowly, morphing into an entirely new emotion. Cole was surprised to see that it wasn't disappointment. “How long have you, like, been...you know…”

He had words in his head, had an honest explanation. He was ready. But when he spoke, all that came out was a choked sob. Cole wasn't surprised. Jay was.

“Dude! You alright?”

Cole looked at him incredulously. “I have an eating disorder, Jay. Do you think I'm alright?”

For a moment, the only sound was sniffling. Suddenly, Cole burst forward and pulled Jay into a tight hug. He was surprised, as evident by his tensed my muscles, but he quickly relaxed. Cole was thankful. Deep down, he knew he needed help; he knew he needed support.

And for awhile, they just sat there, on the floor. Cole cried - for himself, for those around him - and Jay sat there, silently supporting him.

With sudden urgency, Cole shot his head up. “Don't tell Master Wu. Don't tell the others. Please!

His best friend looked skeptical. “Cole, I can't-”

“Please, Jay. I-I promise to get this under control.” Lie. “Just keep it a secret, between us buddies, right?”

Jay bit his lip. Cole could see the panic in the other boy’s eyes. For a ninja, Jay had a lot of trouble making decisions in high-stress situations. After a few moments of silence, Jay exhaled.

“You know, Cole, I'm in a pretty sticky situation here.” Jay told him, sounding slightly whiny. “But I won't tell anyone.”

Cole exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding in. “Oh my gosh, dude, you're the-”

“On one condition.” Jay continued. “You have to let me help you get better.”

Cole was unsure of how to answer, at first. Too many contradicting emotions. He couldn't sort them out. All that came out of his mouth were two, broken words:

“Thank you.”

-- -- -- -- --

Next