#still implied bc target audience

[psychotic-nonsense]

< || >

"Eddie...?"

"I'm sorry. No. Not quite."

"The hell does that mean-" Steve doesn't get to finish. His body reacts on its own again, wanting to surge and face the evil head on. All it does is strain everything in him again, makes him hiss in pain and struggle to remain upright.

The hand that he didn't even realize left returns, and the other holds a wet cloth. It dabs at his forehead, lukewarm and comforting. Everything is as cold as the Upside Down, these days.

"Not important. It really is best that you stay in place." That tone is monotone again, the brief moment of clarity gone. It's back, the... thing using Eddie's voice, his body, his face like an amateur puppeteer. How brutally ironic. "You must heal."

Steve, ever stubborn, bats the hand above him away. It's just a limp wave in his state, but the thing backs off. The hand behind him remains though, surrendering to help Steve find his way up. It's tough, considering how swollen one hand feels and the lingering phantom pains that Steve's body endured but Eddie's did not, but Steve gets himself into a sitting position.

"'Not important,' my ass." Probably not the best threat when Steve hacks up a lung immediately after. The thing doesn't respond, and when Steve faces it again, it's face is painfully blank. Wide, yellow glowing eyes stare at him, a bare hint of white at its center, so utterly familiar yet simultaneously foreign.

"If you're not Eddie, then what are you?" Steve spits, full of emotion compared to the husk beside him. He brings his left hand up to his chest, rubbing softly along the wrist with his other and wincing at the feeling.

The thing takes in a breath, eyes flitting off to the side briefly before returning. Still with that infuriating lack of emotion. "You are not in a good state to have this conversation."

It reaches for Steve's hands with the rag, and he pulls them out of reach. Too quickly, as well, his jaw instinctively clenching with the motion, resulting in an even more embarrassing groan of pain. "You don't know that," Steve forces out.

"I do."

"How so?"

"You are injured, weak. And this is a complicated matter."

"You just don't want to tell me."

"Because it will be too hard for you to hear."

Damn, it's got him there. As much as Steve wants to know, he's not sure he could bear the answer. Everything rubs so raw, everything having happened in such quick succession to him, and he feels like a live wire.

It reaches for his hands again, now frozen on his lap. Steve doesn't fight it, lets it carefully take his hands in its own. "Rest, let yourself calm." The thing says. "Then I will tell you."

Steve, begrudgingly, welcomes the still damp rag it wraps around his swollen hand. Doesn't do more than flinch when it's warm hands begin carefully massaging his through the cloth, thumbs circling around the wrist in a barely there pressure Steve feels in pulsing waves.

He takes the time to study the thing beside him. Human, definitely, an exact replica of Eddie at its core. Same clothes, same hair, all the same from the last time Steve saw Eddie alive. Except this thing glows like a faint light bulb, the light seeming to come from its entire being rather than one place. Steve already knows it's eyes, wide and unfeeling, pure gold but for a pale shape at the center.

Then there's the scars. When Steve last saw Eddie's body, there was a huge gash along it's left cheek, deep and bloody. Now the mark remains, but it glows the same damn bright gold as everything else. No blood, no tears, and this thing seems to have no problem talking with it. He wonders what that means for the wounds that took Eddie.

A slightly stronger pressure is applied to his wrists, and Steve groans again. The hands stop, let him breathe through the pain. Sprained, at best, and the doctors lingering around Hawkins have more to deal with than one possibly broken bone.

They've been sitting in silence for who knows how long now, the rag in their shared hands already cooling. The massage and quiet have done their job for Steve's brain, allowing him to come down from the panic. He's still pretty raw, but he no longer feels so in danger.

"Can I ask you something else then?" he asks carefully, voice raspy and soft.

The thing doesn't respond right away, and doesn't look up when it answers. "Yes."

"Where'd you get hot water from?"

It almost seems to relax at the question, as if it was expecting a different one. It still hasn't moved, still cradling Steve's hand. "Your bags had water and matches. This place had pots, and we are in the woods."

Fair enough, Steve supposes. "Why bother? Water is water."

"It is cold, and you are weak. We assumed the heat would help."

There it goes with the 'we' thing. It referred to itself that way earlier too. But Steve knows he should be wary with what he asks, so he ignores it for now, in place of something far more important.

"Is Robin okay?" His voice cracks a little there. Neither of them talk much louder than a whisper, but Steve still glances over at his best friend. She remains asleep, unmoving in every place but the one that matters.

"You both have similar injuries. You have woken, so she will too. She will be okay."

Steve sighs, put more at ease by that than he thought he'd be. Yet the response only creates more questions. He gently pulls his hand away, turning back to face the thing beside him. It does the same. Confusion to blankness.

"How'd you find us?" Steve asks slowly.

It blinks in response, pausing. "I found you in the Other woods." It says 'other' like it's a title. "I don't know what happened to you."

"Why did you bring us here?"

"It was empty. Close to the Gates."

Steve's coming up on the point of no return. He can feel it. He doesn't ask the more obvious, important question, but he can't stop himself from toeing that invisible line. "Why take us in at all?"

The thing finally shows its first sign of emotion in a while, eyebrows furrowing just slightly. Guilty again. "This is your home. You weren't safe there."

They stare at each other for a while after that. Steve holds back every impossible question he has. It watches him, face falling just a tiny bit more, waiting for him to break.

Steve cracks. His voice shakes, fighting to keep himself in control. To stay calm enough so he can finally get answers. "You apologized for bringing us... here earlier. How did you even know about that- about any of this? The boathouse, the medical supplies, how to start a fire. What-" He stops himself before he goes too far.

Its eyes search his expression, flitting between the injuries across his face. Still just the barest hint of guilt in the slight furrow of his eyebrows. Eyes still wide and inhuman. "I was told."

Steve doesn't ask, 'By who?' Doesn't let it come out in the desperate wail it wants to. Because he already knows. So he gives that plea to another question, puts as much emotion into the pathetic whisper that slips past his injured jaw.

And he breaks. "What are you?"

[bluejaybytes]

I’m curious why you found Inside Out 2 insulting? I recognize that everyone is different, but as someone with an anxiety disorder I personally found it pretty relatable

Throughout my teenage years, when my anxiety was at its most debilitating and my coping skills were basically nonexistent, I was repeatedly met with the idea that "every teen is a bit anxious". This, to an extent, is true, being a teenager IS scary and you're probably going to have some level of anxiety. However, I had an active anxiety disorder. I was prone to frequent panic attacks, skipping school because I couldn't even fathom the idea of going to class out of just sheer intense dread and fear, and all around just having an extremely bad time. I went into the movie with an already decently negative expectation because of that, I didn't like how anxiety was shown to show up ONLY when Riley became a teenager, BUT I was willing to set aside my own distaste of it for the sake of like, I do get why they went the direction of adding new emotions as characters, as much as I disagree with that.

However I found it wildly insulting because I feel the level of intense anxiety Riley is shown to have breaches what I'd consider a "normal" level of anxiety and instead feels more like an anxiety disorder, which, again, it angers me to be once again met with the idea that you only get anxious once you're a teenager, or when signs of much higher levels of anxiety than just normal nervousness are brushed aside with that excuse.

Barring that issue, though that is the biggest in my opinion, basically at every corner I was annoyed by something. This movie felt like it could've been incredibly relatable to me, I was a horrendously anxious teen (Still am anxious just not a teen and also I'm better at coping now) in competitive highschool sports (Yes marching band IS a sport I DO die on this hill), but like... it just continually let me down. The coach is genuinely an asshole, doing things like not showing what the expectations are and then proceeding to single out who she knows are the newcomers as breaking rules that had not been properly established, failing to recognize Riley clearly struggling mentally, and honestly, the biggest sin, fucking letting her in the sport at all. Riley's outburst at the other players should've gotten her taken out of the running entirely, I refuse to believe otherwise.

Which, this is kind of all over the place because I'm not really writing this as a full proper breakdown and more just "Jay angrily rambles to an anon with no direction", but hey, SUPER don't like that Riley's over-practicing isn't really called out at all as being harmful. The ROOT of it is, we know she's only doing that because anxiety is driving her to do that, but like... she performs really well. She's met by the older student (I forget her name, God) with positivity for this, and I'm personally just kind of uncomfortable with how her overworking herself is viewed as just like... neutral. And it's only the fact it's stemming from anxiety that's bad.

There's a lot more (I found the pacing bad, I think, ESPECIALLY given that this is a childrens movie, Riley should've been given EXPLICIT help from the people around her barring just "her friends say they're still friends", I think things like anxiety driving her to look at the notebook yet NOT considering the janitor walking by is just... stupid, and in my experience, not at all how anxiety manifests, ect, ect), but ultimately this is not like, a serious breakdown, more just me listing off the top of my head the things that really fucking annoyed me. Also, Ennui was a stupid character. I mean all of the new emotions were fucking stupid because they're all VERY derivative of OTHER emotions if you've made the commitment that the entire range of human emotion be boiled down to just joy/sadness/anger/fear/disgust, but whatever.

I thought the video game guy was funny though. I'm a sucker for those kinds of jokes. I like that his hair routinely was clipping through his outfit

[the-acid-pear]

I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.

[moonlight-at-dawn]

Sometimes when I see people arguing about "proof" that their ship is canon, and calling certain interactions flirting or whatever, I remember how they did a study and found that everyone sucks at figuring out whether something is flirting or not. No matter whether you're the recipient or an onlooker, everyone sucks at it and gets it wrong most of the time.

I hate when ppl argue about canon status anyways. Unless it's outright stated, everything you have is speculation, and it's all tied up in your feelings, beliefs, preferences, etc. Which are valid on their own and you should just enjoy experiencing them rather than shoving your ideas down other ppl's throats. Why are ship wars like religion schisms these days???

[booksandpaperss]

How Stranger Things (poorly) handles racism as a topic compared other heavy topics it successfully tackles

before we get started, I would to direct you all to some other accounts who have already discussed this that you should check out either before or after reading this post: @wewebaggit @googoogagaeyes @elekinetic and anyone else please feel free to tag yourself or another account that’s discussed this and I’ll happily boost it

Content Warning for in show examples of racism and discussions of racism, as well as mentions of homophobia and the AIDES epidemic

.

. While we're discussing historical accuracy in stranger things and homophobia + ignorance being present even in well meaning characters, I want to point out that if the writers of the show weren't so squeamish about addressing racism in any in depth way, than this type of historical accuracy would be for racism too.

what I mean by this: in this sense, the show is not consistent. It's clear that the writers have done their research on 80s homophobia and how openly prevalent it was, if the AIDES allegory in season 2 and the way homophobia was very clearly present in seasons 1 and 2 (it still is in seasons 3 and 4 but the first 2 seasons showed it in the scope of the entire town), but racism was just as overtly prevalent, and yet the writers have neglected to address it in the same thoughtful and coded way. if the show was just as consistent about racism as it is about homophobia, than the white characters would be at the very least shown as ignorant just like the straight characters are.

and I'm not going to say that it's completely ignored, because that's not true:

-in season 2; mike makes an ignorant comment that implies Lucas should have been Winston because he's black, and Lucas calls him on it. There's also the very racist undertones (that are practically overtones) of Billy's treatment of Lucas. -There is almost nothing in season 3 except for a jokey joke when Nancy says the whole party is her family and the receptionist, who is a black woman, gives Lucas a skeptical look.

-Season 4 is a little better, with the implications (key word: implications, I'll come back to that in a moment) of Lucas's season 4 arc being that he was trying to fit in because he didn't want to be racially targeted and bullied for being a nerd at the same time anymore, that he felt like even more of an outsider compared to the rest of his otherwise all white friend group who, as far as he knows, are all cishet and giving him shit for wanting to lessen how much he's perceived as an outsider because he's automatically seen as even more of a "freak", and his friends just weren't getting it because they were white and ignorant. So the writers aren't blind to race and racism.

However. None of the examples that I've just listed are addressed later in any in depth way; not like the homophobia is. The only one that's even remotely delved into instead of simply being glossed over is Lucas's s4 arc, and even that is still very flitted around and left up to interpretation of the audience.

The writers seem to have a very "hit and run" sort of policy with addressing racism. They clearly know they should, and they at least seem to know that having a black character in an 80s setting with a cast of mostly white characters inherently creates a lot of racial subtext-

-for example, the very loud subtext of Jason (a white boy much older than Lucas) seeing Max (a white girl) in a trance alone with Lucas (a black boy) and immediately assuming the worst + Jason's white friends tackling an 11 year old black girl to the ground: subtext that I'm still not sure if the writers and directors were even aware of bc they never addressed it and their track record isn't great-

-but they hardly do anything about it.

I'm not surprised, considering this show is headed by two white men, but what really gets me is that they all truly could have tried harder. Like I said earlier, it's clear they've done research and put thought into addressing homophobia (it still could've been handled better but that's an entirely different conversation), and it's evident from Max's s4 arc that they also did research on Depression, PTSD, and the impacts on someone of their abusive family member dying. So the lack of care and thought put into addressing racism in the same way is clearly more than ignorance (which would still be bad, when you're writing a show this big in 2023 with topics like this you're actually, shocker, responsible for making sure they're addressed properly, ignorance is a choice at that point), its just fucking lazy. they don't care. And this not caring is inherently harmful on a show this big and frankly, I'm tired of so many viewers and people in this fandom straight up ignoring this fact, just like the show runners.

And I haven't even covered the complete lack of effort put into Patrick's backstory, or the fact that Erica is very much the sassy, mature for her age black girl stereotype (she deserves so much better). Oh, And we can’t forget the copaganda.

I'm glad that season 4 started to explore the dynamic between Lucas and Erica and expand on both their characters, and from the looks of things that will continue in season 5, so the writers have a chance to do their research, actually put effort more effort into the sinclair sibling’s characters, and improve, and I'm hoping they will but as of right now I don't trust them to, and won't unless they prove me wrong.

TDLR; the main issue is that Stranger Things is clearly a show that addresses topics like depression, abuse, homophobia, and racism, but the racism part is neglected compared to the others, just like how Lucas and Erica's characters are handled poorly compared to the white characters,. it's lazy, horribly insensitive, and racist in and of itself. There's a clear bias, and even if it improves in season 5 we still should be talking about it, and more white people (yes white queer people included, we are not exempt from this discussion, if anything we should care just as much about it as when we’re talking about homophobia) in this fandom need to start listening when black and brown people do talk about it instead of just waltzing through and ignoring it for your own peace of mind.

also I should clarify that I myself am white, I made sure I did research before making this post in order to talk about this accurately and consciously, but if I made any mistakes or said something insensitive or used an incorrect term or anything else, feel free to correct me and I will readily fix it

as a final note: please check my rebligs of this for links to more posts that talk abt this issue

[elllteo]

I haven't gone through most of the gamefreak leaks but I find it odd that people are going bonkers over the typhlosion thing in such a gross way bc like

1) its clearly mythos/lore? Based on concepts they decided not to lean into.

It is Not Canon / Cut Content for a reason - the reason being that was not the direction they wanted to take the series since it is very very very specifically geared towards a teen audience.

Could a teen audience have handled the themes? I would argue yes - but they disagree, and so it was cut.

2) Even if we ignore everything else implied by that story - it is literally not that different from like. Normal furries...??? Like.

The typhlosion was communicating in human speech. It was taking on a humanoid form. It clearly understood humanoid needs and ties and emotions.

The ending directly said that the lesson they learned was that Typhlosion are more humanoid than initially suspected. This is leaning more into the "monster" / yokai aspect of pokemon that has Always been there.

3) These themes are really common in real world mythology in pretty much all places in the world, and they are typically used as teaching moments to warn (in this case...) Young Girls from wandering into the woods alone, lest a predator Of Some Kind take advantage of their isolation.

Another thing I find fascinating is that they didn't really do Away with some of these concepts - they just moved it onto Zoroark (and other pokemon) instead. Many canon pokemon still behave this way, just sith the more adult or worrying themes omitted.

From what I've seen and experienced with Pokemon growing up, there's always been the backbones of something darker and more "grimms tales" underneath. I just don't understand the Disgust and Surprise when realistically, the world has always had a pretty strong undercurrent and ties to Yokai, Demonology, Religion and Monsters - the notion that SOME lean more humanoid than others is the very reason we have a humanoid egg group to begin with, and why ditto, mew two, etc exist.

Also. Like. I get wishing we had more of those dark themes in the games. But us adults who grew up on Pokemon haaavvvree to remember that despite growing up and still loving the game series, us adults...are not their target demographic. At least we DEFINITELY weren't at the time mush of the Typhlosion stuff was being written. Whether we think thats stupid or not doesn't change that.

The changes they made are a direct result of going "okay guys maybe this is a little too much for 10 to 14 year olds..." And that's their narrative choices to make.

[vespertin-y]

OKAY I FINALLY WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS. TEN YEARS LATE I KNOW. i was expecting to have to power through a bunch of boring kid stuff to get to the actual interesting drama and i was so so wrong i locked tf in and finished it in two days. it's so good what the actual fuck. heres my thoughts on the main characters

mabel: when i was the actual target audience for this show i saw a bit of mabel while flipping through disney XD and i immediately concluded that she was annoying af and i would never watch this show because of her. i would like to repent for this evil evil take by flinging myself belly down onto shattered glass. MABEL MY BABY GIRL...if they ever put her in another Situation or Scenario ill kill someone fr. she's a little too selfish and a little too pushy sure but so genuinely KIND and SWEET and so willing to make a fool of herself to pull her dumb brother out of his head. that unicorn doesn't know jack i hope she gets everything she wants forever

dipper: if i had watched gf as a kid i would have been in very real danger of naming myself after this guy (which doesn't even work bc im not nearly as cool as him!! the woodland creatures would have eaten my ass). it would've been so easy to give him a generic gaining confidence arc but he is never a coward when it really matters and i think that's great. he may not be able to talk to a girl but he can and will beat a gnome to death with a shovel for touching his sister!!! also yeah he is extremely transgender.

stan: OUUUUUGH. STARTS SOBBING. stanley pines the man that you are. i assumed at first that his plot would be about Learning To Love but no he is 100% on board with being the world's best grunkle from minute one. he definitely fucks up sometimes (putting waddles outside comes to mind as does. The Other Thing) but he always tries his very best to fix it. every action he takes just oozes with care for his family. every time i thought he had a motivation that wasn't his family they pulled the rug out from under me and revealed that it was, in fact, just his family again. he would give everything for them. AND HE LITERALLY DOES??? im gonna vomit. he hand stitched fishing hats 😭😭😭

wendy: definitely my least favorite of the main cast im sorry wendyheads...i just feel like there isn't a lot to get into here. every time they imply there's something more going on with her or her family they just snap her right back into The Coolest Girl In The World which might be fun but it's not that interesting.

soos: SOOS MY FRIEND SOOS!!!! i wobbled on him during the middle of the show bc i felt like they were making him Genuinely Dumb instead of just a good babysitter but they pulled his characterization back around by the end i think. he is like me in that he would also die for the mystery twins without hesitation or regret 💖. a lesser show would've been really mean about soos but gf is BASED and SOOSPILLED so he gets what he deserves. he does not have to lose weight or drop his "childish" interests or stop living with his grandma to WIN AT LIFE. awesome girlfriend! dream job! big house! stan using that boat to hunt down his bio dad and kill him, probably!

ford: ill be honest and admit i hated this guy at first but eventually i learned to live laugh love about his massive incredibly fragile ego ruining everything all the time and now i am a big ford enjoyer. what a FREAK oh my god. he believed his journals to be capable of destroying the world and still refused to destroy them because they're His Life's Work????? he had the painfully obvious option to tell bill he didn't know the equation and stall for time and chose instead to say that OBVIOUSLY he knows it he's the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE he's just not TELLING YOU 😤 and then immediately got tortured????? he spent most of his screentime projecting his relationship issues onto an Actual Child?????????? he needs to go to therapy and learn he's not the main character of the universe but he will not be doing that so i can only hope the boat fixes him. if i was stanley i'd've fed him to the shapeshifter.

bill: SIGH. YES OKAY HE'S MY FAVORITE. I KNOW I'M FUCKING PREDICTABLE DON'T @ ME. i spent 90% of his screentime cracking up and the other 10% making Homosexual Detection Eyebrows at my brother! the ideal ratio!!!!! i can't wait to get my hands on the book so i can poor little meowmeow him more efficiently. i knew i was saving that barnes & noble gift card for something important.

[nose-bl]

Jim is amazing nb/genderqueer rep for many reasons but one of them is the writers didn't shy away from the complexities of gender and queer identities and they let Jim just be themself even if it's confusing to other characters or even the audience

One thing that gets to me is the way Jim is also not sure about their own gender. When asked if they've been a woman the whole time their answer isn't a clear "yes" or "no" but actually "yeah, i guess, I don't know". And later when the crew is going on about Jim being a woman and being different Jim snaps and explains that the crew has known them as Jim, they're still Jim, and that's it. The crew eventually gets it and they all use they/them proonouns on Jim

I'm used to nb characters getting introduced as already knowing their identity for sure and using they/them strictly, or it only being implied by a character being magically refered to as they by everyone (even people who've just met them) and it's not that this kind of unrealistic rep can't be good or valuable but I live for messy, complicated genderqueer people fucking around with gender

Jim never uses the words trans or nonbinary or genderqueer (and why would them? in the 1700s they didn't have the same terms we have today to express all this shit), but their story is so obviously a trans one and the writers really don't shy away from that messiness but rather embrace it, even if a cis/binary audience doesn't understand it. Because Jim isn't there to teach us about what nonbinary means. They're just there to exist and make us actually feel seen. So much trans/nb rep just feels like an opportunity to teach cis people what we are and what our terms mean in a very simple and non-nuanced way. But ofmd isn't about that at all

It's so unapologetically queer and it's not a chance to teach cishets about us. In fact, if cishets don't already understand the nuance of queer identity, they probably won't understand a big chunk of the series (and that's fine. they are not the target audience)

Another thing that stands out to me about Jim is like- they sleep with Olu. And it's no big deal. And i fucking love that. Jim's gender isn't invalidated for it, and Olu's sexuality isn't a big deal either

I am so happy about sex and sexuality for genderqueer folks being explored here in such a simple but meaningful way

don't know where else i'm going with this but i guess tldr: ofmd is some of the best queer representation I've seen bc they don't mind getting super messy and confusing and nuanced and letting the characters just be queer in ways cishets might never understand

[defensivelee]

I realize I have not spoken much about the Jacobite I actually know so I am going to YELL about him here now in a very disorderly fashion bc he has recently left and i am actually kinda sad :((

ok so he's a catholic priest and he is mexican. if you know anything about us you will know that we are not the target audience for jacobite propaganda (whatever that may entail), so obv i was never suspecting any jacobite shenanigans from this guy nor from any other guy where i live

but THEN one night after mass i was hoppin back outside and on my way out i hear this man say one (1) thing that made me STOP IN MY TRACKS. he says "ustedes conocen los jacobitas, seguidores de jaime el segundo..." ("you all know of the jacobites, followers of james ii...")

idk what he was talking about and i didn't stay to listen. but that was all i needed. HE KNEW ABOUT JAMES THE GODDAMN SECOND AND HE KNEW ABOUT THE JACOBITES

so i go and tell @acrossthewavesoftime and we decide that i should talk to this guy and see what he knows. originally i was legit not gonna talk to him but i'll admit i was curious too. from there i talked to him many times, i would say like about 7-8 times, and he said plenty of stuffs that i told Radegonde (which was always hilarious). here are the highlights, all the spicy opinions!!

-the first time i spoke to him, i asked him his thoughts on James (under the guise that i needed the knowledge for school). he went on a bit of a rant that i dont remember much of, but i do remember he said that what James did was honorable (something like that i think??) and that giving up his kingdom for catholicism isn't something anybody would do. said he would be fine with making James a saint but that he isn't a jacobite (implying he knows that there are some still around)

-also in that first time, he called William an enemy of the bible (which Radegonde referenced on her blog once and it made me choke)

-for some reason i thought it was a brilliant idea to tell him of the green stockings kink. he made a face at it and said he would look into it. idk if he ever did bc he never mentioned it again............

-i asked him if he thought it was weird that spanish wikipedia has James as "Jacobo" rather than "Jaime" (which is more correct honestly) and he said it was very strange, implying that he has been on wikipedia

-on that note, he called James "Jaime" but didn't call William "Guillermo." understandably so bc it is very funny

-apparently he has been to France (and speaks French!!! wow!!) and that's how he learned of James. i can only imagine what he saw there

-i asked him his thoughts on Mary and it was really interesting bc it seems that he thinks of her as a victim! specifically he said that he couldn't blame her bc she was obeying what her husband wanted and claimed that even if she hadn't wanted to go depose James, William would have done it anyway

verdict: a jacobite even if he denies being one. i get the vibe that he does NOT like William......

so i think this guy's really interesting bc he's actually. not that bad of a priest?? like one time this dickhole at church was ranting things against trans people yknow the usual insults and my jacobite priest was sort of...side-eyeing him. he did not look too happy. an ally? something else? i have no idea. idk how openly trans i look but he was at least very much willing to talk to me.

and thats the thing that i'm actually sorta sad about, bc i feel like i got to know more about him than just the jacobite part of him. like this post is about his Very Fascinating Opinions but also sometimes i had a rough time at church and listening to him talk was funny so it made me feel better. he also genuinely said hello to me sometimes and would listen to MY opinions very attentively

he recently switched over to another church, which means i won't get to see him as much anymore if at all, but last sunday i saw him he said he hopes he gets to see me again

in conclusion. very strange thoughts but not a terrible priest by my standards! oddly i miss him now but it is what it is :(

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I think you said that you’re alright with people replying/commenting to your thoughts, so I thought that instead of making my own post about the leaks, I’d continue yours! And, these are my own opinions as well. No one needs to agree with them necessarily.

And it’s a very strong agreed on my part, because... while it’s true that there’s been a lot happening, very fast, in BC for the entire manga (and anime), we did get those moments where the characters were able to bond and Tabs focused on building their character. 

For example, would Noelle’s character development and her feelings for Asta be regarded the way they are, if we had only seen glimpses of them, or these events be (almost) dismissed with lose sentences here and there? I like to think that they wouldn’t. 

The JuLu reveal was The Moment I felt something  since the elf arc (if we exclude the palpitations I experienced while Vermillions being in mortal peril because I’m still biased for them). But now I’m back at the mental state that I can only describe with “meh”. 

Last week we got a Grayche moment. It’s one of my canon OTPs and I felt nothing. Because it’s... it’s like Tabs has put his characters on the board and (at least heavily implied) showed that they’ll become a couple. If they’re not that officially already. There’s so very little emotional investment on the part of the fans who don’t rotate the ship in their brain around the clock like a microwave burrito. As in, to the people for whom eg this ship is the blorbo ship, they’ll be invested, they’ll feel EMOTIONS, but for the casual ship enjoyer it doesn’t do anything because there’s so little building up happening to the scene. 

I think... that the manga is falling to the same pit that the movie did for me. It’s just one fight scene after another. Which... Idk, maybe the more lore -containing (”lore heavy” might be too strong of an expression) is less interesting to the younger (shounen target) audience, and the guns blazing one is much more so. Maybe. I really don’t know. 

In any case, I am hoping that Tabs would do more with his characters. Show character build up, tell lore, background stories! Explain! Things! 

At the very least we’re getting Ichika’s and Sukehiro’s reunion and that I do want to see. That’s something I can’t wait to read. But for the most part it’s very much “meh”. 

Shows are supposed to be like rollercoasters. Ups, downs, steady bits. But at the moment BC feels more like a train ride than a rollercoaster. 

I want to be vowed Tabs. I asked for a lion and a ring of fire, and I feel like I’m looking at a housecat and a lighter. 

But. Even after all that, I am holding onto hope that Tabs will tell us. He’ll give the lore and something will break the fandom by the seams again (in a good way). 

BLACK CLOVER SPOILERS

Been a while since I've fully written out my thoughts on the recent BC chapters. (I think May was the last time I did?) Anywho, these are my opinions—and I stress, MY OPINIONS!—on the recent chapters. I have to admit that my feelings about them are mixed, and I'll get into why. (Probably gonna get cancelled over this but yolo I guess loool)

First, I'd like to address the difference between Tumblr & Twitter discourse regarding Black Clover. From my personal experience, I find that Twitter discourse is more focused on the fights & power-ranking system—which, of course, is absolutely essential to the genre. Power-ups are a tangible way of measuring character growth, after all.

On the other hand, Tumblr discourse is more focused on the relationships between the characters & the overarching narrative of the work. Now, I'm not saying that one is better than the other, because all of these elements are important. I had to talk about the distinction because my criticisms of the recent chapters might be better explained with this context in mind.

As someone who enjoys BC specifically because of the relationships between the characters and the world-building, I've found that the story post-Elf arc has been really... flat. I know Twitter folks will say that BC's pacing has always been quick, but I've been missing some moments where the characters just have room to breathe, you know? Like when Spade Raid ended, we had half a chapter of fun before immediately jumping into the next arc, and I feel like it would have been nice to get a little more exposition on how Spade changed character dynamics. Like, they could have given us a little Greyche moment so their current state in the manga would hit that much harder. Or more bonding time between Nacht and the Bulls, so we appreciate their determination to find Asta together a little more? Does this make any sense? Lmao

Adding to that, I think the quick pacing is detrimental to BC's strengths. A lot of people like the story because there are so many characters with very interesting backstories and motivations, but the nature of the storytelling doesn't leave a lot of room to explore the depths of these characters. Tbh, the Black Bulls' stories are just as important to tell as Asta's journey to becoming WK. Side characters enrich the world, so I'm not a huge fan of glossing over what could have been really impactful moments for characters other than Asta/Yuno/Yami to shine.

For example, someone brought up a great point that the BB fight against Damnatio was symbolic of the uprooting of Clover's caste system. You have this group of outcasts, some who were personally victimized by the corruption of the kingdom as represented by Damnatio, fighting to save the people who shunned them. It would have been nice to get flashbacks of the way that the kingdom has affronted them: Zora grappling with his dad's death and what it meant to be a Magic Knight, Gauche's history of being a convict and being separated from his only family, etc.

I'm glad that we at least had that moment with Nero, and we got to see how Asta specifically changed the trajectory of her life; how she sees Lumiere's vision of the world in Asta's ideal vision when he becomes WK. But I wish they had done the same for the other Bulls or even non-Bulls too, especially since Lucius mentioned that this whole timeline was affected by Asta. That's why I'm sort of disappointed that Asta came back right away to end things. I feel like it would have been more significant if Damnatio had been heavily injured and Asta were to deal the last blow than an unharmed Damnatio and Asta landing a fatal blow only once.

I'm still holding out hope that we'll get more of the Bulls in this arc, though there are currently a lot of loose ends and Asta's already back in the picture. I hope we get followups on Noelle/Acier, YamiChar/Morgen, and Mereo/Morris before Asta ends the battle, but idk what I'm talking about as usual 🤷🏻‍♀️

[memecatwings]

nobody knows their yaoi history 🙄

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

I actually liked Chloe in S1. I thought she was funny and her antics were in-character for the dramatic, short-tempered spoiled brat she was. Even when she did horrible things that were blatantly written to kickstart the plot, I didn’t care bc it was still something I could laugh at. I wasn’t super invested in her “redemption arc” when it was happening, so when the writers decided to make her a bitch again, I was totally okay with it. I was like “yes, bring back the ridiculousness of S1 Chloe!”

However, S4 Chloe isn’t even remotely as funny. Before, she was just a hilariously unapologetic drama queen, stirring up trouble because she was simply THAT self-absorbed and taking refuge in audacity. Now, though, it’s painfully obvious that she’s just here to show off how horrible she is. I can’t even forgive her antics in “Gabriel Agreste” because she literally had no reason to target Marinette and Adrien the way she did. And her “confession” while stuck in the Collector’s book was obviously written to drive home to the Chloe stans how eeeeevil she really is, which was decidedly unfunny. She used to be a silly plot device; now she’s just an agenda.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The problem with Chloe this season is that despite selling out all of Paris to Hawkmoth to feed her own ego, the writers still aren’t willing to make her a full-blown villain this season, and only really use her more for comic relief.

Chloe worked in Season 1 because she wasn’t much of a threat compared to the Akumas. Yes, she was a bully who abused her father’s powers, but at the end of the day, that was all she was. In Seasons 2 and 3, intentional or not, audiences got more invested in her prior to the betrayal, so when we saw her go back to being a full-time bully without even acknowledging what she did, it was incredibly jarring. Hell, even after Zoe was introduced and the writers set up a potential rivalry between the two sisters, it hasn’t been acknowledged once. 

It doesn’t help that the episodes she appeared this season in not only had her blatantly hype herself as a bad person who beats up orphans and widows in her spare time, but the other characters didn’t even try to be civil with her and threw a lot of insults her way, especially in “Gabriel Agreste”.

While a lot of stuff in the earlier seasons could get weird and was exaggerated at times, Chloe was still the kind of character you loved to hate. While she annoyed the characters with her behavior, she didn’t really annoy the audience too much, and the karma she received for her bullying in certain episodes like “Dark Cupid” and “Princess Fragrance” felt deserved.

In Season 1 never really intended to specifically harm other people. Yes, she would still try and pull strings to inconvenience others to get what she wanted (The Bubbler, Mr. Pigeon, Rogercop, Kung Food, Reflekta), and still laughed at the peasants beneath her feet, but she never tried to hurt anyone or make their lives miserable for the hell of it. In all of her plans, she almost always had something to gain that just happened to screw over at least one person. In this season, not only does Chloe blatantly throw people in front of Akumas to get out of the way when she only did it once in “Zombizou”, it’s also implied she was somewhat cognizant of her actions as Queen Banana because of her specific demands. 

The problem with this is that the writers are trying to make her more of a comic relief villain while she still does things that were worse than before like physically harm others, so it’s hard to tell if we’re supposed to laugh at her or take her seriously as a threat. They’re clearly trying to have the best of both worlds here, but are failing at both because of how contradictory her writing is. Like I just said, Season 1 Chloe worked because while she got in the way of Marinette at times, she was never a character who was meant to be taken seriously as a threat, sort of like what Bulk and Skull were like originally.

And again, I have to ask, if Astruc wanted Chloe to be a villain from the start, why isn’t his team actively capitalizing on that idea? Why isn’t she working with Shadowmoth more or trying to undermine Ladybug on her own? You wanted Chloe to be evil, didn’t you? Well, now’s your chance to show off how bad she is that doesn’t involve petty sabotage at school that does nothing but waste screentime that could be devoted to other characters like Lila, Zoe, Su-Han, Luka, Kagami, and the last four temp heroes who had to be crammed into a single episode because Chloe just had to be front and center for four separate episodes this season.

[persephoneflouwers]

regarding the article about it being the fans making the movie about sex, i'm actually surprised no one talked about it yesterday. cause it's exactly what flo implied in her interview. of course she knows it's not our fault the pr is focusing on those scene and she couldn't well say that the director and the studio made a mockery of this movie and the actors involved although to us it was heavely implied. still i think the higher ups want a shift in focus cause they saw all the backlash for this pr campaign and they latched onto that so when people go see this movie and it's not what they were expecting they can blame it on the fans for focusing on the wrong thing. it sucks that us fans are always to blame when the pr teams have no clue how to do their jobs

Hello 🌸 I tend to take fans side, usually.

Now I speak as someone who hasn’t watched a single trailer and I don’t want to psychoanalyse every bit of this drama (from the high to the bottom decisions) bc at the end of it all it’s just a movie and it’s all fake and not that deep.

I just wonder how they can blame it on fans if the first teaser was just harry and flo mouthing each other or whatever that was. You gave them that content. They’re gonna use it. You spread the poster of Harry e Flo in a bed covered in sheets, not me. They are gonna use it.

They know where the problem comes from. I’s just easy to blame teen fans. Especially when young girls make a large proportion of your fanbase and historically have been always called out as obsessed with sexual fantasies with their fave actor/singer. They promoted the movie in the old fashioned way: pr stunt - sex - teenage obsession (and I think that’s partially what Flo was referring too when she talked about hiring a famous pop star in the movie). Zero effort, best results (this harry’s team motto for basically anything lmao). Personally, I don’t like the choice but I don’t like a lot of things and I’m not part of their targeted audience I fear!

Just yesterday I told my sister “you know Rolling Stones has been very quiet on Harry lately”. I called that article into existence im sorry hahah

[kashuan]

What buffles me about the popularity of Madeline Miller's book is how shallow her characters are. Achilles and Circe have no true, unlikable flaws (they're "timid" and "angry" at worst, when the others are rapists) while everyone else is made comically evil because Miller is too poor of an author to create compelling characters that are loved and appreciated for their complexity, she resorts to vilify the heck out of everyone else so that Achilles and Circe have no "competition". Oh and she made Patroclus from an absolute beast to a simp whose greatest ambition is to be Achilles's housewife. Circe's cruelty is made into yass queen moments, and we are subjected to pages of entirely self-unaware Circe complaining about cruel gods while she is a cruel god. It's like a white person bitching about white people, trying to distant themselves like this doesn't include them too

Honestly though, the black and whiteness of her stories is one of their biggest downfalls to me, especially when your subject is Greek mythology lol? Either everyone needs to be equally terrible or you need to give due diligence with making everyone properly nuanced IMO. I’ll never forgive her for speed running Iphigenia’s sacrifice in this regard; bizarre choice when there’s some great Achilles’ characterization to be had there, but oh no can’t throw any complexity on ach/pats pure gay uwu love by even suggesting he might feel something for a Girl, yuckie [see: deidamia chapter]. This passage was particularly unforgivable for like 10 different reasons:

(Canon patroclus deserves better than this and nothing like some modern day monogamy concepts in my ancient greek fiction. I also love the idea of Achilles saying No to this very common sort of arrangement because his bf was jealous, would love to see how that one went over)

Her then writing Agamemnon being like ‘well that happened’ after Iph dies in less than a page and holding a celebration for the army the same night, lol. Truly gotta cement that this man is The Villain (compare this to Iphigenia 1977 where we can imply he feels embittered and resentful towards the army who immediately begin to celebrate. Heck, even messier modern adaptations like Helen 2003 or TFOAC at least Somewhat understood the assignment and depicted him as genuinely conflicted and remorseful). Like I get Achilles is your focus, you don’t have to develop everyone equally, but at least pretend you’re not incredibly biased/making your story as easily digestible as possible. I just often find myself imagining how different the ‘mainstream’ side of the fandom would be if she hadn’t turned half the characters into mischaracterized tropes just to further sell the ach/pat drama (I won’t even get into thetis' or pyrrhus’ horrible characterization bc enough ppl have already lol).

As for Circe, I only read the first 50 pages or so thoroughly. I was instantly tripped up by what you mention, the same style as before lol. All the male gods are so mean and awful, especially to me :( men amirite?? I’m not fishing here for a certain kind of target audience at all. It was so blatant it immediately put me off. I just skimmed the rest and remember being disgusted by her legit trying to sell circe/telemachus afair. Ultimately if this was OC fiction I wouldn’t care or comment on any of it, would take it as ‘you do you’. But these are preestablished characters we tell shared stories about, and while I think they should definitely still be open to individual interpretation, I do think you should at least like… Stick to at least some of their commonly established traits seen in their original stories? It also wouldn’t be so bad if her writing hadn’t become THE mainstream “canon” though, but because it has I will never pass up an opportunity to complain about it, lmfao

[lucianalight]

Saw your post abour canceled cartoons bc too many girls were watching, it makes so much sense to me why loki series was so bad as most of his fans are women/girls and minorities, they couldn't simply cancel it, then canceled the character and remade in a bad way, and it's also interesting that my group of friends about superhero stuff, which is basically just males and me a girl, they all liked it and Im the only who hated, we started watching those movies at the same year we know the same stuff

It's not my post but I just reblogged it again with @tori-artemis 's tags and iirc from the reblogs I saw in my Activity, many people reached the same conclusion after reading it.

@solostinmysea I'm answering your reply here to not spam the op of that post. I don't agree with your point about Loki being re-marketed for women. Loki already had mostly women and queer fans. Besides the retcon started with TR. I think Loki is re-marketed to attract more men, or more accurately how dudebros like to see him portrayed and treated. They figured the older fans including women and queer people would still watch anything with Loki in it(and they were right). So they tried to satisfy their main target audience with the retcon.

I've talked about this before in a post that I wrote after IW. So I'm going to copy paste parts of it to explain my point(because I'm lazy :P :D ).

Loki’s popularity among fans was so unexpected, that it even surprised Marvel. So why Loki? Why he was loved even more than heroes?

Why do we care so much?

It’s about what and who Loki represents. Everything comes back to Identification.

Because we see ourselves in Loki. We, who felt different, were different, and were alone because of it. We, who knew how it felt to be ridiculed, rejected, vilified and despite all our efforts, never accepted, never loved for who we are. We, who hide all our hurt and pain under a mask but at some point we just couldn’t take it anymore and exploded. So we identified with Loki. Even when we didn’t agree with what he did, we still understood him, loved him. The characterization and Tom’s performance was so strong that kept our love in spite of everything. In a manner Loki was more real for us than any other hero. He wasn’t a beloved and popular person, or a celebrity. He wasn’t even considered a good and loyal person by his close companions because of his differences. And he was desperate to be seen for his capabilities, to be loved and accepted and respected for who he was and we could relate. We could relate because his story was like our stories in real life. Because we know that in real life, there are no arc reactors to save our hearts, no super-soldier serums to give us a chance to prove ourselves, and no magic hammers to make us sure of our worth. We know how it feels to prefer a fall into an abyss when there is nothing left to hold on. We know how the fall can be so disastrous, how it can change us for the worse. We know how it feels to be even more alone after the fall, more hated, and how hard it is to try to pull yourself together after everything.

To a number of fans and audience, especially male audience with beliefs from a toxic masculinity culture this seemed threatening that a queer coded and/or feminine coded villain gets more female fans than heavily masculine coded heroes. They hated him. And they started to belittle his fans, by implying that Loki was only popular because of Tom or because he is pretty! That Loki’s fans are a bunch of fools that only lust after him for his looks. It seems they deliberately don’t want to understand. Still, it doesn’t really matter, right? Marvel won’t force the ideas of toxic masculinity on us, right? Wrong!

Ragnarok happened.

Ragnarok happened and it stepped on everything that was Loki. His characterization, his arc, his powers, his goals, his fans. Ragnarok ridiculed Loki in every possible way. It insulted us, made fun of us, told us that we were a bunch of fools for caring for Loki because he is just a stupid troublemaker. Ragnarok was a disaster of toxic masculinity.

We saw it. We saw everything that was wrong with Ragnarok and pointed it out. But what were we called? Stans, apologists, haters, antis.

“No more resurrection this time” was directed to us, not Thor. They were telling us that you can rage and try to fight, but at the end, you are nothing, you will be broken like a ragdoll so the real hero can be heroic. The story is not about you, it was never about you. You are just a tragedy, you don’t deserve happiness, you can only be redeemed by sacrificing yourself.

And they continued this retcon and treatment in the Loki show too. His torture and humiliation was played for laughs and was justified. His portrayal reinforced many queerphobic beliefs about queer men. His pain was disregarded and he was beaten up and talked down to until he knows his place. Who do you think enjoy this treatment of a queer, othered character? Queerphobic dudebros and people with toxic masculinity beliefs(This doesn't mean people who enjoyed the show are in these categories. Most of them probably have different interpretation of the show or the character and cared about other aspects of the show). And you can see many of the things I had listed, was repeated by MW who believed Loki was an ass and people liked him because of Tom! So no wonder that he continued retconning and butchering the character even more to sth that fits his views of Loki.

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...