#plastered all over their bedroom walls lockscreen of the phone

[persephoneflouwers]

regarding the article about it being the fans making the movie about sex, i'm actually surprised no one talked about it yesterday. cause it's exactly what flo implied in her interview. of course she knows it's not our fault the pr is focusing on those scene and she couldn't well say that the director and the studio made a mockery of this movie and the actors involved although to us it was heavely implied. still i think the higher ups want a shift in focus cause they saw all the backlash for this pr campaign and they latched onto that so when people go see this movie and it's not what they were expecting they can blame it on the fans for focusing on the wrong thing. it sucks that us fans are always to blame when the pr teams have no clue how to do their jobs

Hello 🌸 I tend to take fans side, usually.

Now I speak as someone who hasn’t watched a single trailer and I don’t want to psychoanalyse every bit of this drama (from the high to the bottom decisions) bc at the end of it all it’s just a movie and it’s all fake and not that deep.

I just wonder how they can blame it on fans if the first teaser was just harry and flo mouthing each other or whatever that was. You gave them that content. They’re gonna use it. You spread the poster of Harry e Flo in a bed covered in sheets, not me. They are gonna use it.

They know where the problem comes from. I’s just easy to blame teen fans. Especially when young girls make a large proportion of your fanbase and historically have been always called out as obsessed with sexual fantasies with their fave actor/singer. They promoted the movie in the old fashioned way: pr stunt - sex - teenage obsession (and I think that’s partially what Flo was referring too when she talked about hiring a famous pop star in the movie). Zero effort, best results (this harry’s team motto for basically anything lmao). Personally, I don’t like the choice but I don’t like a lot of things and I’m not part of their targeted audience I fear!

Just yesterday I told my sister “you know Rolling Stones has been very quiet on Harry lately”. I called that article into existence im sorry hahah

[pcvensies]

*.• Si vis amari.

II. The Sun.

in which 18 year old gojo satoru is left in charge of 6 year old fushiguro megumi and 8 year old tsumiki fushiguro, with the help of 17 year old nanami suki (oc).

word count: 3280

I. The Moon.

Soft light crept through the curtains, and Suki turned around to protect her sleepy eyes, stretching her whole body as she groaned, legs shaking as she did. She scratched her head, hair falling on her eyes, and the blonde sat up, eyes getting used to the new light of the room before a voice interrupted her awakening.

“Gojo I told you you’d sleep on the floor, get the fu-”.

Kento opened his eyes, hair messy and an angry expression plastered in his face. But his sight found only his twin, instead of the white haired boy.

The blonde was as confused, looking around and finding herself in a room different to the one she had fallen asleep into.

They both got up, Suki opening the windows and Kento making the bed.

“Though you were taking the couch”.

“I did”, she answered, looking through the window, rolling her eyes at the thought of Satoru changing places with her.

The blonde walked to her bedroom, opening the door to a sleeping Fushiguro on her bed, the kid snorting peacefully. She closed the door again, and this time walked to the living room.

It was empty, and so was the kitchen, and Suki felt her stomach sink. Had Gojo simply left them with the kid? It didn’t sound like him, but neither did this whole situation. He was acting very strangely, honestly, maybe…

She shook her head, shaking the thought away, and walking to the kitchen to make breakfast.

“Any idea where Gojo is?”, she asked out loud, making coffee.

“Nope”, her brother replied, rubbing his eyes as he sat at the kitchen table, “But he better be back to get the kid”.

Suki poured two coffees, one with milk and the other black, and sat in front of her brother, as he opened a bag of croissants that rested on the table.

“Can you get the juice from the fridge?”, Kento asked, earning a groan from his twin.

“Could have said before I sat down, couldn’t you Ken?”, she complained, as her hand found the fridge door.

Stuck with a magnet, a note caught her attention: “Call me when u wake up, we have something to pick up. Bring hedgehog kid! -Toru xx”. The girl sighed, throwing the note to her brother’s head as she sat back down with the juice box.

Kento read it and didn’t bother asking, he simply poured two glasses of juice, croissant hanging from his mouth as he did so.

The twins had breakfast in silence, still waking up, throwing glances at each other that they understood like words.

“This is crazy”.

“I mean, it’s Gojo we’re talking about. Of course it’s crazy”.

Kento snorted softly.

“You sure it’s a good idea? You can handle it, Sue?”.

The girl looked away, rolling her eyes in the process, and got up to prepare a cup of chocolate milk, ignoring her brother’s worried glances.

But Kento couldn’t ignore his worry. His sister and himself had been through enough, and the past months had been very rough on Suki. He didn’t want her to put any more pressure on herself, with all the missions they were giving her.

He couldn’t ask her again before Suki had already left the room, opening the door of her bedroom again, and walking to open the blinds slightly.

The sun filled the room with small squares of light, just enough to allow the blonde to locate everything around her.

She crouched next to the bed, gently shaking the kid, calling him softly as he started to open his eyes, covered by his messy raven hair.

“Good morning, Fushiguro… Breakfast is ready, and I’ll run you a bath. We’ll meet up Gojo later”.

The kid rubbed his eyes as he sat up, looking at his surroundings in an initial post-sleep confusion, but soon nodding at her words.

Suki noticed he had one of her old plushies next to him, a fluffy panda whose left ear had been lost to a dog in the park, but she didn’t say anything, simply getting up again and fully opening blinds and windows this time.

She made the bed as the kid left, and closed the door to put on some clothes. She then did her make up (there’s no reason why a strong sorcerer shouldn’t look good, if death is always around the corner anyways), and braided her hair, before heading to the bathroom to prepare the bath for the kid, and brush her teeth.

It wasn’t that different from her usual morning routine, she realised, and it hadn’t even been that much work to get Megumi to get up. He maybe wasn’t the sweetest kid, but he was as well behaved as one could expect.

And, being honest with herself, as he walked in the bathroom with sleepy eyes, and chocolate milk all over his face, Suki didn’t even mind having him around that much.

She put some towels in the towel warmer, left the kid’s clothes in the sink, and exited the bathroom to pick up her car keys, and her phone from the couch, eyes opening wide at her new lockscreen: a selfie Gojo had taken with her sleeping figure that night.

She unlocked it, searching for his name on her contact list, while Kento washed the dishes in the kitchen, the sound of the water making the girl walk to the balcony.

“Oh good morning, Susu”, Satoru greeted her through the phone.

“Morning, Gojo. Fushiguro is taking a bath, once he’s finished and ready we’ll go… What’s all this about? You didn’t stay for breakfast”.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Needed to do something first thing in the morning”, he simply said, avoiding the main question, “I’ll send you an address, yeah? And we’ll meet there, let's say… in an hour?”.

“Mhm, sounds good to me. Want us to bring something? I’m taking the car”.

“Stop to get something sweet for breakfast… It’s very important- no, crucial, to the plan”.

Suki rolled her eyes, but agreed, and she hung up when the bathroom door opened. She chuckled softly at the kid, wet hair falling on his eyes, and put her phone in her back pocket to grab the towel from his hands.

The kid looked up at her through the wet strands, like a cat who’s been caught by the rain, and Suki threw it over his head, drying his hair gently.

“If you don’t dry your hair well, you'll catch a cold, kid. And it will look weird”.

“I don’t care how it looks… Are we going to get the big baby now?”, the boy said, referring to Satoru, and earning a laugh from Kento.

“Yeah, Gojo wants us to go to an address… Here”, the girl explained, showing the kid the message, “We’ll go in my car and-”.

The kid’s face had changed, and Suki stopped talking, confused. He looked away from her and the phone, his energy switching to a weary one.

Just then, the blonde girl looked back at the text message, clicking on the address. It was a primary school.

“Fushiguro… Do you know why Gojo is sending us to a school?”.

“It’s not my school, I was kicked out…”, even his voice was different, “But, uhm-...”

“It’s my sister’s”.

( . . . )

The white haired boy waited outside, back pressed against the wall of the school’s entrance.

Mothers and older sisters were starting to gather around, waiting for their kids and siblings outside, some of their eyes caught by the handsome boy that stood unbothered under the sun, scrolling down his phone.

He looked up, blue eyes shielded by his round sunglasses meeting a pair of brown ones. The girl blushed, looking away immediately, and Satoru smirked as he looked around, looking for Nanami’s car this time.

A black Citroen C3 took the corner, and Satoru waved at it, signaling Nanami to park in front of where he was.

He put his phone in his pocket, followed by his hands, and he started walking towards the car. But then he felt it, Six Eyes sending him a very clear message right there: Nanami was angry. Very angry.

“Gojo Satoru, how could you do this to us?!”, she yelled, followed by the younger Fushiguro.

Gojo opened his eyes in surprise, knowing exactly what she was doing. They wanted to embarrass him.

“I work TWO jobs just to keep us all going, I offered to help you with YOUR mistress’ kid after SHE left YOU, and you don’t even have the guts to tell me… there’s ANOTHER KID?!”.

All the girls that just minutes before eyed him up and down, now looked at him with disgust, and Gojo felt his cheeks grow redder by second.

“Nanami-san has done so much for us, and you still lied to her, you’re gross!”, Megumi added, pulling up his best distressed kid act.

At the entrance of the school, a teacher waited with the few kids that hadn’t left with their horrified parents already. Behind a tall, blonde boy, a small girl with a dark ponytail looked at Megumi with confusion.

Megumi ran to her, the teacher recognising the problematic child as her brother, and didn’t bother asking who the screaming teenagers were. She had heard about the Fushiguro sibling’s parents, so she wasn’t surprised nor doubted that everything the blonde was yelling was true.

It didn’t seem too strange for Tsumiki’s mother to have had an affair and fled, and it was known by everyone at the school that Megumi’s father had been out of the picture for almost a year now.

She did, however, feel bad about that poor girl. She looked truly hurt, and having to take care of a kid like Fushiguro…

“But Suki I-“, Gojo tried to get her to shut up, eyes apologising with urgency.

“Get in the car Satoru, I can’t even- I can’t even look at you right now. Let’s go kids”.

Megumi and his sister were soon sitting in the back of the car, followed by Suki, and lastly by Gojo.

The younger boy looked at Suki through the mirror, and the girl met his eyes, before they crashed into laughs, much to Gojo’s displeasure.

When they calmed down, and Suki apologised to Gojo with the cinnamon rolls she had bought, Megumi explained the situation to his sister. How their father wasn’t going to come back, and neither was their mother.

Tsumiki was very scared at the beginning, for the both of them, but when the pretty blonde senior pulled up at their apartment, and called Megumi by his name, she felt very relieved.

Megumi never let anyone call him by his first name, as he didn’t like it. Only she herself was allowed, as she didn’t really remember her mother or his father being around that much anyways. But if he let that girl do it too, then she was truly trustworthy.

“Megumi, why didn’t you tell me about Tsumiki, hm?”, she asked, and the little girl felt shy under her intimidating eyes.

“I dunno”, he shrugged a little, inexpressive eyes on hers, “I didn’t think I’d stay with you for too long, she’d have been okay with the neighbours until I got ba-”.

Tsumiki gasped when the blonde girl put her hand on Megumi’s head, messing his hair. But to her surprise, her brother didn’t do anything more than sighing and rolling his eyes, starting to walk towards the building, followed by the girl.

She looked at them with big eyes, then up at the white haired boy, who gave her a big smile.

“Did you know Toji?”, the little girl asked him, as they too started walking.

“Mhm. Before he decided to leave forever, he asked me to keep an eye on ‘Gumi. You know, ‘cause he can be kiiiinda problematic sometimes”.

The little girl laughed, nodding shyly, and the boy’s smile grew. At least this one liked him.

They walked to the apartment door, slightly open as Megumi was inside, while Suki stood in front of the door next to it, talking to an old woman.

She bent down, hands pressed together, as she thanked the lady who looked at her with a sweet, warm smile.

“Thank you so much for taking care of them these past months, Hosho-san. My husband and I will take on from here... We found out a few days ago about what happened to Fushiguro-san and his wife… and we came all the way from Kioto just yesterday. I hope they haven’t been too much work, and my husband is more than willing to help with any economic matter that they can have caused to your family”.

Gojo smirked at her words. Suki’s ability to create stories to get them out of trouble had been saving their asses for years now, and it never stopped amazing him. Plus, pretending that Fushiguro senior was a family friend, and they were a young marriage taking the kids, was the perfect story to keep away anyone suspicious of them.

“Oh, no, no, dear. They’re wonderful, please don’t worry about anything. It’s more than enough to know that someone will be taking proper care of them from now on”.

Suki nodded and gave the old woman a smile, before Gojo wrapped his arm around her, chin resting on top of her head.

“Megumi is already picking up his things, baby. Why don’t you go help him and Tsumiki while I thank Hosho-san here?”.

He also gave the lady a smile, a charming, sweet one, and the woman blushed softly with a chuckle. Suki smiled, rolling her eyes as she walked in, leaving the white haired boy to continue adding to their story so she could help the kids without any other neighbour coming around.

Tsumiki was sitting in the living room, a yellow bag with white flowers already prepared on the floor. It didn’t take too much for anyone to realise Megumi had prepared it for her, as he walked in first and was still starting his.

The blonde girl sighed softly, sitting on the couch next to the little girl, who put her hands on her own lap, holding them together to hide the way they were slightly shaking.

Suki wasn’t sure about Megumi’s plan, using his first name so Tsumiki would see her as someone of trust, but at least they had found her.

“Tsumiki-”.

“Thank you for taking us in, Nanami-san!”, the little girl almost yelled, head down.

Nanami looked at her with soft eyes, a little smile plastered on her face as she nodded.

“Would you like me to braid your hair like mine, while we wait? I think it’d look good on you, Tsumiki”.

Her hair was almost matted, knots making it impossible to even try to brush it. The little girl sobbed when the scissors started snapping, balls of blonde hair falling at her feet.

The also young boy sighed deeply as he continued to cut his sister's hair, both of them eight by the time.

“It’ll grow again, healthier”.

“I look like a boy!”, the little girl sobbed harder.

Her brother sighed, holding her in his arms, and shook his head.

“When it grows again, I’ll learn how to braid it okay? I promise. You won’t need mom to do it. I will do it”.

The little girl sniffed softly, rubbing her eyes with her little shaky hands, but nodded.

“Thank you, Ken”.

The little girl looked up at her with bright eyes, nodding her head fast and excitedly, and Suki signaled her to go get a hair brush and a ribbon, which the little girl ran to do.

Her hair was lighter than Megumi’s, not exactly black, but a dark shade of brown, very straight and shiny. She was too young to have any heat damage, and Suki brushed it carefully, as the younger girl looked at their reflection on the TV while sitting as still as she could.

From Megumi’s bedroom, Gojo stood against the door frame, moving his eyes from the kid to the girls. Suki had managed to calm down the little girl immediately, and she had gotten Megumi to collaborate with her all day.

She had a weird talent he didn’t have. He could make Tsumiki laugh, and could get Megumi to follow him, but he couldn’t get them to relax, to trust like Nanami had in a night and barely an hour.

Satoru opened his mouth to speak, just in time for Suki’s phone to start ringing. On top of the screen, a name popped up: Kitamura Nagisa.

Suki finished tying the ribbon to the little girl’s braid, and just then realised she had forgotten her plans for the day, a wave of anxiety hitting her like a truck.

“Your phone’s ringing, Suk- Oh”, Gojo spoke, watching her sit there, blocked, phone in hand, “What are you doing?”.

The blonde girl simply signaled him to shut up, taking a deep breath before picking up.

“Hey, Nanami”, the boy’s voice was raspy, and Suki sighed softly at it, ears turning red just by the sound, “Are you okay? I sent you like twelve messages, are we still meeting for lunch? I’ve been waiting here for fifteen minutes now”.

Suki bit her lip, looking at the kids, both of them ready now as Megumi walked out of the room with his bag.

“I- Uh… I am so sorry, Kitamura, I should have called you but something important came up, and I… I forgot completely”.

The boy chuckled softly, Suki’s embarrassment noticeable in her voice.

“No worries, Nanami… Is everything okay? Anything I can help you with?”.

“Hm… actually just… a family friend passed away!”, she spit out, and in front of her, Gojo raised an eyebrow, not understanding why the Suki was so nervous.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Nanami, I had no idea”.

Suki sighed. She didn’t want to lie to Nagisa. But she definitely couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Thank you, it’s just… He had two kids, and he didn’t have any more family… So it was either Kento and I , or my parents taking them in…”, she almost whispered the last part, avoiding Satoru’s confused gaze, “So you know, we kind of had to do it. A friend and I are helping them with their stuff right now”.

All she got for a minute was a hum, and silence, her heart beating faster than ever before inside her ribcage.

“Why don’t we have dinner together then, yes? I’ll bring take out, and I’ll help you get everything ready”.

Gojo frowned at his words. He had heard Nanami and Shoko talk about that boy, Kitamura, before. But he didn’t know the blonde girl and him were close like that, to have secrets that he apparently didn’t know.

It’s not like it angered him, or anything, he’d explain, it just annoyed him that Suki hadn’t told him. Yeah, that was it, and that’s that.

“You don’t mind? Kento will be home…”.

“And so will I! Is it a problem, Kitamura, huh?”, Satoru’s voice rose over Suki’s, getting a death glare from the girl.

“Not a problem at all. Any friend of Nanami is of mine”, the boy replied, and one could feel the smirk in his voice, “See you tonight then, Suki. You too, dude”.

And with that, Nagisa hung up, leaving a cold ambience in the room between Suki and Satoru, that made even the kids shiver.

n/a: i did say slowburn and i intend on keeping my word thank u v much SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ON UPDATING :( the ending was shit but im SO TIRED forgive me ily <3

taglist: @expectoscamander @tsun444mi @helvegen-s @theworldis-ahead @evans-dejong @crzyinluve

[sevlgi]

when I miss you

requested: yes

group: mamamoo

pairing: wheein x fem!reader

genre: angst

contents: idol!au

warnings: none

synopsis: Wheein’s always on your mind, but it’s torture when you’re missing her.

a/n: read part 2 here!

word count: 2.2k

Almost every minute of every day, you think of Wheein.

It’s perfectly natural to think of your girlfriend all the time. She’s everywhere- a photocard of her is in your phone case, and she’s your lockscreen and wallpaper on your phone. To everyone else, it just looks like she’s your idol, but you’ve been hiding a relationship all this time.

Somehow, you’re still stuck in your honeymoon phase, even after going steady for almost 2 years.

It’s hard to date an idol, but Wheein makes so much time for you that you barely realize it. Recently, as you prepare to finally debut, you’ve been spending even less time together, which is why you’ve been thinking of her even more today.

You’re going over to your girlfriend’s apartment today, and you’ve been staring at the clock all day, pining for when practice will be over and you can kiss your girlfriend.

During dance practice, the heavy bass thumping through the studio sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you can’t help but imagine her reaction when you finally debut. To be honest, you can barely focus on the dance itself. 

“Y/N, pay attention, please,” your leader Heeyun sighs, a benevolent smile nonetheless gracing her face. “There’s barely 10 minutes left, let’s just finish practice.”

10 minutes? You perk up when you realize that Heeyun’s right, 9 minutes ticking away slowly on the clock. The steady thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein low in your chest grows louder, and you whine, “Please, Heeyun-ah, we’ve worked so much today!”

Another one of your members chuckles, looking at you fondly. They all know about your relationship with Wheein, and they’re unbelievably supportive. “Y/N’s right, we can stop for today. Is Wheein unnie excited for our debut?”

Nodding, you scramble up to start pulling your sweatshirt over your head. “Unbelievably, she always tells me to practice hard, but I can tell it’s hard for her to not spend time with me.”

“Ew, just go,” echoes in the practice room, giggles bouncing off the walls. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wave a goodbye, Wheein Wheein Wheein still pounding in your heart.

Wheein’s apartment is barely 15 minutes away from your company when walking, which you’re very glad for. It isn’t rare for you to head to her apartment right after work instead of your dorm, though you try to give her space too.

You don’t even know what the two of you are planning to do, you’re just excited to spend any time you can with your girlfriend. All day, you’ve been thinking of what to say, what important details of your life to tell her and which ones to ask for.

You smile at the feeling of your fingers clasping around the cold metal of the spare key Wheein gave you, your initials etched into the metal, the familiar smile you give to the receptionist.

All of it has always been a comfortable constant in your life. You remember running through the halls with tears streaming down your face on the hard days, with a huge smile on the good ones.

The elevator ride to Wheein’s apartment is the same length as always, each of the 67 seconds punctuated by the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein. Your steps are timed perfectly with the beats of your heart, smile growing wider at the click of the door opening for you.

As always, the apartment smells like your girlfriend’s favorite perfume, a sort of sweet yet sharp smell. You’re surprised when Wheein doesn’t immediately pounce on you for a hug; in fact, she’s nowhere to be seen.

“Jagi?” you call out, closing the door behind you, eyes scanning the apartment. It’s not the first time your girlfriend has pranked you. “Where are you?”

The bedroom door swings open immediately, a tired-looking Wheein emerging. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.”

“S’okay,” you grin, opening your arms for a hug and nestling your nose into her hair.

You’re surprised again when she pulls away quietly just a few moments later. It’s completely unlike your goofy, cuddly girlfriend, and you can only stare as she walks to the kitchen. “How was practice?”

“Um, good.” She’s obviously avoiding your eyes, studiously concentrating on the cup of tea she pours out. “Still on track for debut, anyway.”

“Good. You still have a few weeks, right?”

Wheein finally faces you, and you can only notice stress pulling her eyebrows together and darkening the circles under eyes. “Y-yeah,” you manage to say, your own forehead creasing as you step closer. “Jagi, are you okay?”

A beat of silence passes before she sighs, biting her lip. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

“Well that’s not good,” you joke, trying to alleviate the tension in the room. It doesn’t work; your girlfriend still looks stressed. “Okay, what do we need to talk about?”

A beat of silence passes before she looks up. “I think we should break up,” Wheein finally says.

You can only stare for a second, only managing to say, “Wh-what? Is this a prank? This is a prank, right?” She doesn’t look like she’s pranking you; every time in the past that she tried to pull a trick, she’s never been able to look as serious as she does now.

“Come on, we should sit.” Once you’re both situated on the couch, knees almost touching and facing each other, Wheein sets her tea down and starts to explain. “You’re debuting soon. Your group will be much bigger than mine, and you won’t be able to hide our relationship like I do.”

“No, I-”

She holds a hand up to stop you, continuing, “It’ll hurt your image, Y/N, for a rookie to already be dating. We’re not a normal relationship either, do you understand how terrible it is to be gay in Korea?”

You bite your lower lip, your mood significantly worse than before. Of course you understand the stigma about LGBT people, but you tried not to think about it much. “I… yeah, I do, but we can do it, we’ve already hidden it for so long.”

Wheein frowns, genuine sadness in her eyes. “You were a trainee, Y/N-ah. I don’t want to bring you down, so… so I think we need to break up.”

It feels like everything’s unraveling at those little words, your entire life coming to a halt. Just a few hours ago, you had everything you ever wanted, and it feels like it’s all just being taken away. “I…”

“We can still be friends,” she offers, hands over yours. “You know, we don’t have to cut off contact.”

“Yeah.” You feel numb, heavy, like you’re watching something you can’t control. “Um, I think we should reschedule this hangout. My members and I have more practice to do.”

She smiles, though her eyes don’t crease like they do when she’s really happy. “Sure. Call me sometime, okay?”

You both know you won’t.

For the first time, you hate the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein in your head, the pounding low in your stomach making you nauseous and irritable.

As always, she is the only thing you can think of, but now, you find yourself constantly trying (and failing) to push her out of your mind.

Your members stare at you with sympathetic looks in their eyes, expressions that you also fail at ignoring. Luckily, you haven’t seen any of Wheein’s members since the incident; they probably look even more saddened. 

Of course, your good luck doesn’t last. You’re collapsed on the dance floor, sweaty and tired, your members chattering quietly, when all of a sudden they go quiet. When you lift your head, you scowl at the sight of Yongsun.

“Hi, everyone.” The cheery note in her voice sounds false, but maybe your mind is just twisting everything. “I brought you desserts!”

“Yongsun unnie, you’re too sweet,” everyone else choruses. When you don’t move to get up for the snacks, the blonde approaches you herself.

She makes an attempt at a smile. “Hey, Y/N. Listen, I can’t stay long, Wheein’s waiting for me outside, but… I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” The words seem to bite at Yongsun; even you have to admit that they’re far sharper than they had to be. “It’s not like you had anything to do with it.”

“Please don’t hate Wheein for this,” she sighs, dropping to the floor next to you. “It’s not her fault, it’s mine. Byul and I, we were the ones who told her that it’d be difficult to hide your relationship once you debuted.”

Your eyes narrow, but you shake your head. “Doesn’t matter. She chose to go through with it. I don’t hate her, Yongsun unnie, but I can’t forgive her either.”

A beat of silence passes before Yongsun stands. “Okay. I understand, but will you talk to her? She… she misses you.”

I miss her too. “I don’t miss her.” The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but you know it’s what’s right. You need to move on, and you can’t do that if you’re still hung up on Wheein. “You can tell her that.”

The look in Yongsun’s eyes is nothing less than heartbroken as she purses her lips in a smile and bows lightly to you, then your members. “I gotta head out, everyone,” she calls out. “Good luck on your stage, we’ll be watching!”

You don’t join the chorus of ‘thank you’, your throat seemingly clogged when you see Wheein’s face through the glass of the dance studio. 

Wheein Wheein Wheein.

Your breath shakes when you exhale backstage. Heeyun sings scales to warm up beside you, and Soonja mumbles her rap; others rehearse the points of the dance, even more touching up their makeup.

At the moment, you can see Wheein talking to the camera, MC’ing like her life depends on it. She doesn’t look nearly as wrecked as you feel, her dimples as pretty as ever and her eyes smiling. 

It’s totally unfair.

Of course you should be more nervous for your debut stage, but it’s difficult when your entire mind is fixated on one person. Wheein Wheein Wheein thrums in your chest in time with the pounding bass of someone’s performance; your hands clutch at your sternum as if they can quiet the noise.

They can’t.

“And the winners… QSR!”

The crowd’s cheers are deafening, but the smile on your face feels like it’s plastered on. You can vaguely hear the cries and laughter of your members around you, but your fingers are numb when the clutch onto your trophy.

More importantly, your eyes are fixated on Wheein, who stands a good 5 feet away from you as she claps. She’s steadily avoiding your eyes, waving and smiling at the crowd, but she approaches you with a bouquet of flowers. “Congratulations,” she murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Thanks, sunbaenim.”

The formal term seems to hurt Wheein physically, but she recovers quickly. “I look forward to your success.”

With a bow, she retreats to go and congratulate your other members. To be honest, it pains you when she hugs Heeyun with a huge smile that you know would have been yours too. 

You can’t focus even during the encore, and there’s no emotion when you sing your lines. Wheein Wheein Wheein feels more like steady stabs at your stomach tonight.

Over time, the pain dulls. It gets easier to see Wheein, which is good because you see her too often for your own liking. Your members offer to stop hanging out with Mamamoo, but you insist that you’re fine.

You’re not.

It’s not like you’re recovered; no, the pain of Wheein Wheein Wheein just feels more like a dull punch than a stab now. You’re no longer hurting, but you’re like an empty shell.

Your new fans assume that you’re just a quiet person, but you’re not. On the internet, they wonder why your members seem so close with everyone in Mamamoo and you won’t give them a passing glance.

But there’s no way you can explain to them how numb you feel to everything; even when your first MV hits 500 million views, you can barely smile in the celebratory Vlive. Even when your group earns your own lightstick, when you’re declared the rookie of the year, you feel nothing.

And you hate that so much of your group’s fame comes from articles wondering why you seem to have no emotions. You hate that your bond with everyone is destroyed, that your friendships are ruined because of you.

Most of all, you hate that you’re still not over her. You hate that the thump of your heartbeat still sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you hate that you still think of her.

You hate that she seems fully over it, happy and smiling like she didn’t break your heart. You hate that you still keep the key to her apartment on your dresser.

You hate that you still miss her.

[shawnstoriesx]

Cup Confessions Pt 2

i wasn’t planning on having a part 2 but a lot of ppl messaged me about it so here ya go XD I’m not rlly good at ending stories tho so feedback is appreciated

YN’s gaze kept darting from Shawn, to his hand on the girl’s waist, to the girl.

She was hurt. YN thought that she and Shawn had a connection. They shared a moment or two at the party. What was this? YN shook those thoughts from her head. It was nothing. She was nothing but a friend to Shawn. A childhood crush. She wishes she could say that’s all he meant to her too.

YN plastered on a fake smile but it was too forced and Shawn could tell. “Just picking up a friend’s shift.”

Laura coughed, which forced Shawn’s eyes which had been glued to YN back on her, before she turned her gaze to YN. “Aren’t you going to introduce us Shawn?”

“Oh right. Um, Laura this is YN. We were neighbors growing up. And YN this is Laura...” He paused as he finally noticed where his hand was, quickly dropping it from the girl’s waist. “My friend.”

Right. “Hi Laura.” YN said, flashing her what she hoped was a sincere smile, while the other girl just acknowledged YN with a nod.

A tense silence settled between YN and Shawn before YN quickly turned around, shouting over her shoulder, “Sorry, a lot of drinks to prepare. Gotta blast.”

That was an obvious lie. There were only one or two other people waiting for their drinks, which the other baristas were already preparing.

Shawn was about to say something but YN had walked away already.

***

“Hey Smith. I’m not feeling too well right now. I think I caught whatever’s going around. Don’t think I can work this week.” YN said into the phone.

“It’s no problem. Feel better.” her manager replied before hanging up.

She let out a deep sigh of relief before falling back into her bed. She wasn’t completely lying. Ever since she had seen Shawn with his girlfriend earlier that day, YN had been feeling nauseous.

“You need to get over him,” she told herself. There was no reason for her to be this heartbroken. They were never ever a thing and weren’t even an important part of each other’s lives until a week ago. YN couldn’t forget about what happened at the party though. That felt more than friendly. Her mind raced with thoughts all day.

***

It was now the next morning and YN was headed to her first class of the day. She figured she’d drop by the Starbucks, even though she wasn’t supposed to be working, and prepare herself a little drink since she couldn’t sleep very well last night.

However, YN stopped in her tracks. There was Shawn, sitting at the table they always talked at after her shift, alone. He was staring blankly at the counter and didn’t notice her approaching the shop.

She could tell he looked miserable and YN wanted to reach out to comfort him. She had only taken a couple steps in his direction before his phone started ringing.

“Hey Laura, thanks for calling back.” she heard him say and she swiftly turned back around.

He didn’t need YN’s comfort. He has Laura. YN reminded herself. She couldn’t get in the way of that.

YN took one long look at Shawn before turning back and walking to her class.

***

The week flew by quickly. YN was given plenty of distractions from Shawn. 2 exams, 2 essay.

YN also hadn’t been to the Starbucks again since that Monday morning so she figured she’d just drop in to say hi and tell her manager that she was feeling a lot better.

“Hey Jennifer!” YN yelled as she walked into the nearly empty shop. It was never busy during this time.

“Haven’t seen you in forever.” her friend yelled back.

YN giggled before walking behind the counter and making herself a drink. “It’s been horrible hasn’t it. Probably so boring without me.”

The other girl have her a playful smack with the towel she was using to wipe the counter. “Actually, it’s been pretty interesting this week.”

YN raised an eyebrow at Jennifer, urging her to go on. She loved drama and working at Starbucks, one of the busiest places on campus, let YN and her coworkers be firsthand witnesses to it if they were attentive enough.

“I counted at least 3 horrible coffee dates. And this one TA was doing a coffee run and dropped almost every drink as he was walking away.” The two shared a laugh at that. “Also...remember that guy that asked me for your schedule? He’s been here practically everyday looking very sad.”

YN perked up at this. “What guy?”

“I forget his name but he was very tall and very handsome. He kept swinging by in the afternoons and it looked like he was looking for somebody because he never ordered. So I called him out on it.”

YN gasped. “Shawn? What’d you say? When’d this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?” she rushed.

Jennifer laughed at YN’s sudden peak in interest. “Woah woah slow down a bit and let me try to remember.” She paused a bit before continuing on with the story. “So yeah...I asked if he wanted a drink or anything so he finally came up to order and he asked me about you and why you weren’t working anymore. So I explained to him that you normally only worked in the morning.”

“Isn’t that illegal.” YN said with mock seriousness which elicited a loud laugh from the other girl.

“Normally I wouldn’t but he was pretty cute and I thought you needed a boyfriend. Plus he showed me his lockscreen and it was an old picture but I could definitely tell it was a pic of you two as kids so I knew he wasn’t a complete stranger or anything.”

What?

“Anyways...” Jennifer continued. “He’s been coming back at this time looking for someone again. Kinda weird.”

YN nodded, processing all this new information. Shawn was probably looking for her. He wouldn’t put all this effort into finding her unless he really liked her...right?

She was deep in thought when YN finally grasped what Jennifer had said. “Wait. He comes at this time now?”

Just as she said that, YN heard the door swing open and she turned around to see Shawn walking straight towards her.

“Um Hey YN, haven’t seen you in a while.” he muttered.

She let out a nervous chuckle as she nodded her head. “Yeah I’ve been busy and I was sick for a while.”

A flash of concern spread through his face and YN’s heart started to race.

“It wasn’t anything serious though.” she quickly added.

“Oh that’s good. Can we talk really quickly?”

She reluctantly agreed and the two walked to their regular table.

***

“So what’d you want to tell me?” YN said nonchalantly, hoping to dispel the tense aura that had suddenly overcome them.

“Uh...about Laura.”

YN frowned. “Your girlfriend?”

Shawn let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “She’s not my girlfriend YN. I just wanted to tell you that.”

She stared at him. “Oh...okay. I just thought that-“

“I mean we’re just sleeping together...err we used to. But it was nothing serious to me. I don’t like her in that way...I just like the affection yknow. So yeah. It was bothering me and I wanted to tell you so that it didn’t mess anything up between us.” he nervously chuckled.

YN shifted her gaze downwards, not looking him in the eye. “Why would that mess anything up between us?” She paused a bit before asking “We aren’t dating or anything right?”

Shawn frowned. “Well...I just thought that...” he started before stopping himself. He muttered something that YN couldn’t quite hear before looking back up to her. “Never mind. You’re right. We’re just friends. Don’t know why I told you that.” he awkwardly laughed.

She reciprocated the laugh, just as awkwardly, and then there was silence, neither friend knowing what to say.

***

“YN, you HAVE to come to this party with me! Like you HAVE to!” Jennifer said excitedly as they were both getting off their shifts.

YN shook her head. “I’d rather not.” She thought back to the party with Shawn, a sad smile creeped up her face. YN had gotten back to work but Shawn had stopped coming in the mornings and YN would be lying if she said she wasn’t sad.

“YN!” the other girl whined. “I need you there to take care of me.”

Jennifer batted her lashes and leaned into YN, causing both girls to fall in a fit of laughter.

“Okay okay. You got me.” YN said in between giggles. “Whose party is it anyways?”

“Don’t know. I just heard customers talking about it.”

***

“Where r u” YN texted. She had been at the party for 10 minutes now and Jennifer was nowhere in sight. Why’d I agree to party crash?

She didn’t recognize a single person at the party and had been awkwardly looming in a corner of the house, taking in her surroundings. The house didn’t have a lot of furniture but it had a lot of pictures on the wall.

Walking towards the kitchen to get water, YN’s eyes stayed glued to the framed pictures. Some family pictures. A picture of a someone’s dog. Couple pictures.

YN stopped in her tracks as her eye fell on a specific picture framed on the wall. It was a childhood picture of her and Shawn. She had this same picture framed in her bedroom back home.

What the fuck? Why was this here?

YN’s eyes scanned all the other pictures. Shawn was in a number of them too. She gasped as she suddenly realized this is Shawn’s house. She just crashed Shawn’s party.

YN was quickly turned around by an arm wrapping around her waist and she let out a surprised yelp.

“Woah didn’t mean to scare you.” Jennifer laughed. “My Uber got stuck in traffic. Let’s get a drink.”

YN pulled Jennifer down so that she could whisper into her ear. “This is Shawn’s house.” she whispered tensely.

Absolutely terrific. First, Shawn stopped talking to her and now he was about to catch her crashing his party. He’s going to think she’s such a creep.

“We have to get out of here.” YN continued, eyes darting around hoping to spot Shawn before he found her. She grabbed Jennifer’s hand and started walking towards the front door, winding through the crowd.

Jennifer gave her a confused look. “What? Isn’t that good? I thought you were friends?”

YN stopped herself. Jennifer was right. She was probably blowing it out of proportion. She and Shawn were just friends. And it wasn’t weird for his friend to be at this party. Even if she wasn’t invited in the first place.

She let out a heavy sigh before releasing Jennifer’s hand from her grip. “You’re right. Sorry about that.” she chuckled.

Jennifer cocked an eyebrow at her. “You good? You can sit and I’ll grab us a drink”

“Nah I’m fine. I’ll get a drink myself.” YN didn’t normally drink alcohol but tonight, she felt that she’d need it.

***

An hour into the party and YN had yet to run into Shawn. Nobody had noticed the two uninvited girls or if they did, nobody seemed to care. Maybe I’ll get lucky and leave before Shawn sees me.

“Hey YN.” Jennifer slurred with a lopsided grin on her face. She started leaning to one side and YN quickly caught her before she fell. “I think we should go home.”

“Yeah good idea. But let’s use the restroom first. Don’t want you puking in the Uber.”

YN guided Jennifer to the restroom and they stumbled a bit, both girls a little but tipsy. She gave the door a knock before leaning Jennifer up against the wall across from it while she stood facing her friend.

There was a lot of shuffling and giggles from the other side, causing YN and Jennifer to both roll their eyes. After a minute, the door unlocked and YN turned around to head inside.

“YN?!” a deep voice called out and she looked up.

Shawn and Laura stood on the other side of the door frame. They both had messed up hair and hickeys all along their necks.

YN felt a stab in her heart. She and Shawn were just friends. They’d never be anything more. So why was she hurting like this. She quickly looked down at her feet and could feel the tears stinging her eyes. Fuck...drinking always made her emotional.

Jennifer could tell something was wrong and she quickly jumped into action. “Sorry. We gotta go. Our Uber is here.” she lied and dragged YN out of the house.

The two girls walked in silence along the street before finding a bus stop bench to sit on.

“So I’m going to call the Uber...and you are gonna tell me what’s up?”

YN gave a sad look to her friend and opened her mouth but couldn’t think of what to say. How was she supposed to say that she really liked Shawn but he didn’t see her like that. She was just an old neighbor to him. An old crush. One that he didn’t even think of saying a proper goodbye to when he left.

Instead, YN broke down in tears.

Jennifer quickly wrapped her in a warm hug. “O honey. It’s alright. It’s okay. Just take a deep breath. No rush.”

YN opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching.

The girls turned around to see Shawn running towards them.

“Shawn?

“YN. Are you okay?” he said while trying to catch his breath.

“What? I’m fine.” she lied, eyes not meeting his. Shawn could tell she wasn’t. Her cheeks were still red and her eyes were still swollen and some tears had yet to dry.

“Can we talk?” he pleaded.

“What is there to talk about? You haven’t talked to me all week.” she added bitterly before taking in another deep breath.

She shot Jennifer a pleading look hoping to convey how badly she wanted to leave. But Jennifer didn’t catch it. Her wide eyes were focused on Shawn and YN looked up to his face.

Shawn looked tired and frustrated and sad. YN didn’t know how it was possible to look like all of that but he did.

“YN. Please.”

“Look can we do it another time. I’m not feeling well.” her voice cracked.

Shawn looked even more hurt but he just nodded. “Oh yeah I guess. Sorry.” He started to walk back just as their Uber arrived.

Jennifer got in first and YN took one last look at Shawn’s back before she closed the door behind her.

***

“Thought you ladies might like to know there’s a guy running behind our car.”

“What!” YN and Jennifer both shouted at the same time. They quickly turned around and shocked was an understatement. Shawn was running a block behind the car, arms waving haphazardly, trying to get the driver’s attention.

“Can you pull over really quickly?” YN asked and the driver obliged.

She stepped out of the car just as Shawn approached the car.

“What are you even -“ she started but was cut off by Shawn enveloping her in a big hug.

“Look you don’t have to say anything. Just let me talk okay.” he gasped in between trying to catch his breath.

YN nodded, her body feeling tingly from the way Shawn was holding onto her so tightly.

“I’m just going to let it all out and if you don’t want to talk to me anymore or be friends, I’d understand. But I’ve kept this in for so many years and I gave myself so much shit for it and now I’m rambling and maybe it’s the alcohol and....” he took a deep breath before continuing.

“Look YN. You know that I liked you right? When we were kids.” He waited for her to nod before talking again. “And when I left, I kinda just sprung it on you. But it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you. I did. I really wanted to tell you but at the same time I wanted to tell you how badly I’d miss you and how I really liked you and I kept waiting and waiting for the right time but it never came up. I felt like utter shit about that and I haven’t forgotten about how I missed my chance to tell you back then. Carried a pic of us around with me for a straight year because of how bad I missed you.” he paused to take a breath. “Seeing you and talking to you again, it’s helped me see how great of a person you are YN, and I can’t let that slip away. I know I’ve messed it up before and I’m even messing it up now but I really like you YN. Like a really do. Maybe I’ve forgotten about my feelings for you but they’ve never really gone away.”

Silence.

YN stood there, eyes wide, looking up into Shawn’s. He liked her. He liked her back. All she could mutter was a small “Oh.”

“Fuck.” Shawn cursed, stepping back from the hug. “I never could get a read on whether you liked me back so I figured I’d just take the shot this time. Wouldn’t hurt right? Didn’t want to lose you again without telling you about how I feel.” he laughed bitterly.

He started to turn away but YN lightly grabbed his wrist, holding him back. He flashed her a confused look.

“Wait...” she whispered, her heart was beating fast. She was gonna do this. YN wrapped her arms around Shawn, hugging him tightly, head pressed against his chest. “I...really like you too.”

He let out an audible sigh of relief and YN couldn’t help but giggle. “Really?”

She nodded and Shawn broke the hug suddenly to jump up and down in childlike glee. “You literally don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

“What about Laura?” she asked quietly.

Shawn gave a nervous laugh. “We stopped doing...that a while ago...like after you first met her at Starbucks.” He let out a deep breath. “Tonight, I was in a really bad mood. Thought you didn’t want to see me anymore so I stopped visiting but I missed you and she was just there...convenient. But I promise you, it’s over.”

“Hello? What about Jennifer!” the other girl impatiently whined from inside the Uber.

Shawn and YN had completely forgotten about her and the driver.

“Sorry about that” YN laughed. “She’s a little drunk and I really should take her home.”

“Yeah no problem. Uh...see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow?”

“You still working?”

“Oh...yeah” she blushed. “See you tomorrow then.”

“You know what I like right? Other than you of course.”

The two shared a laugh until it died away. They stood there, still basking in the moment, when Jennifer obnoxiously coughed.

“I’m literally gonna puke right now and I can’t tell if it’s from the drinks or from listening to you two.”

Taglist: @trumpettay