#still havent properly figured out how to tumblr

[chel-tiaz]

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡

[cryptiiid]

partners in time <333

[dandyshucks]

oh I'll say smth too i guess, idk if this site is a boat to jump out of yet, it seems sad to abandon ship bc it lets all the shitheads run rampant around here and we lose a lot of community, but if it does start looking like we're going in that direction then i will start setting up shop elsewhere and let y'all know

ppl are more than welcome to ask for my discord handle though! idk how helpful that'd be since i dont talk in DMs much with ppl here (only bc i am so scared all the time LOL) but it's an option! or if anybody has a server they think i should join then u can invite me if you'd like dhdksl

and I'll start looking into alternative websites tomorrow maybe, cohost seems like a popular option but pillowfort is also one I've seen floating around. i just loathe change and learning new social medias is difficult for me bc its a whole new set of unspoken etiquette rules for me to try to figure out along w the usual how-to-use stuff ^^;;

[fagcifer]

do you guys fw beta(?) design samael, because i think its growing on me like mold

he looks so evil, so mischievous looking, and oh-so-very kissable looking oooouuuuugggggggghhhh

i was very surprised that there was no commentary on the original post, as far as i know that is. i havent been using tumblr for long, and reblogs used to be able to edit the original post or whatever.

also moot thought x was a fat green cat and keep spamming 🥚🥚🥚. hes actually a seal-sea-lion-dumbo-octopus thing, he like the pug of his hypothetical species.

next time he makes an appearance in this form hes straight up just going to be a fat fucking circle with some flaps for limbs, saying as if hes not already one. (actually not really, i need to give him a proper neck so samael can properly strangle him.)

evil, evil urge to draw sam dry hump the seal, but to be honest with you, i dont know if thatd be plushophilia or beastility.

also technically xekiels hair doesnt match up with mine now. since i usually comb it to the side... im still figuring out how to draw it without making him look too emo.

[flightfoot]

Please ignore the prev ask. I submitted it accidentally so let me start over! I have read some of these analysis here and on tumblr and I love them. I will admit that havent read the books properly so I cant comment on TOA. My question is this: aside from Apollo's development what is the purpose of TOA? Zeus is a bad king and a bad dad so what changes? It seems like RR suffers from the same problem JKR has where the status quo does not change at the end of the series.

The point isn't really to change Zeus, the point is to figure out how to continue on, how to be a better person despite still being under a tyrant.

As for the status quo changing, I dunno. Nothing's really different as of The Sun And The Star (which is one of the reasons that a lot of TOA fans have major problems with that book), but it might crop up in later additions to the canon, it's hard to say for sure. The hope is that Apollo reaches out to demigods more often, helps more freely, despite Zeus' rules.

[luvdsc]

HI!!! THIS IS 🌱 ANON FROM WAY BACK WHEN!!!

i hope you've been doing well!! i logged on to tumblr for the first time in a long while and saw you're back and i got so excited!! how have you been? i hope life is treating you well <3

i read barbie girl and AAAAAAHHHHHH you are by far the best at hitting the golden ratio of fluff and comedy and angst. i wasn't entirely sure, this is completely hypothetical, and i might have completely missed you saying this elsewhere, but are barbie girl and pussy blocked in the same universe? i don't want to give too many spoilers away to the general public but i noticed some details in barbie girl and went "😳" LOL

AAA HI BUMBLE BEE !!!! 💛💛 I can’t believe you still remember me 😭 I’ve been super good !!! lots of traveling and going out with friends and enjoying life 🌷🌷 omg welcome back to tumblr too 🥹 how have you been as well ?? has 2024 treated you kindly? 💐

thank you sm for reading 😭😭🤍 my writing skills have gotten rusty fs after two years 🤧 but I had over 70 hours stuck in flights this entire year with no wifi, so I thought, why not be productive and finally complete the collab fic? :’) omg yes you noticed !!!!!! 🩷🩷 they are indeed in the same universe 🙂‍↕️ barbie girl is the prequel to pussy blocked. and fun fact - there are some references to august, which is also in the same universe 💘

SKIP FOR SPOILERS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVENT READ BARBIE GIRL AND/OR PUSSY BLOCKED:

without bg yn, jaemin would not be how he is in pb. he’s more empathetic, kinder, less selfish, and more aware of himself and other people because of her. also, just as bg yn’s whole monologue described, he really went through it all because pb yn did not love him back until she was ready to accept love and chose him in the end, no matter how hard he tried or loved her for years. bg yn was a wake up call for him, and he finally understood what he put her through (but to a certain degree because what he did to her was way worse than anything pb yn did to him). but pb yn also put jeno through hell too, so you know.. they both learned from their experiences after hurting other people and figured out how to properly love and care. they’re all very flawed characters, which is what i enjoyed writing about the most because no one is perfect and these are based on things that happened in real life (men ain’t shit, stay far away from guys like bg jaemin LMAO) !! but anyway yes, honey bee, they’re connected, you’re so right !!!! I’m so so soo glad that you found the matching details 💓💓

[girlpenis-redux]

hello hiiiiiii may you please answer scream, it follows, it, and saw + texas chainsaw massacre (only if you're comfortable sharing them) =3

HAIIIIIIIIII

Scream - AS MUCH AS I LOVE PHONE SEX i think i prefer sexting cuz it gives me more time to like... think about what i wanna say properly fhsdjkhfjkd... im not good at coming up with shit to say right away so i appreciate sexting's Turn-Based nature FHSJKDFHDJK

It Follows - MAN ill be honest i get horny in public very frequently HFSJKFHDJK. sometimes bc i start scrolling thru my phone and see some nsfw stuff or just Random Unexplained Horniness but uhhh i suppose at work fhsdfkjhd i get horny a lot bc i get bored and look at tumblr and it uhmmmmmm fhsdjfkd. yeagh.

IT - FHSJDKFHDESCRIBING IT IN DETAIL IS A HARD ASK... i dont think ive ever thought about my Ultimate Fantasy .......i think it definitely involves working someone up over time and making them really really desperate and horny until they're basically begging for me to knock them up and i spend the whole time fucking them and teasing them for how desperate they are and how their body is going to change once i breed them..f hsdjfkd

Saw - I DONT ACTUALLY THINK I HAVE ANY I HAVENT LIKE... SHARED BEFORE....? im honestly still trying to figure out everything im Into aside from like. my obvious big ones fhdsjkh sorry thats not a fun answer also i just realized im starting all these answers off with all caps

The Chainsaw Massacre - this kinda piggybacks the last one fhdjfh. i dont rlly think im Embarrassed by any that i ha- ok wait no i just remembered how my friends accidentally found out im into cum inflation bc i sent a very poorly cropped screenshot of my old flist for shits and giggles . hfjskFHKJD so uh . yeah that one actually fhsdjkfh

[gwydionmisha]

how do you keep up with all these articles and websites? With twitter being down the shitter, and tumblr recycling month old posts, i havent been able to find a good central news source. I figured I could use RSS feeds, but these sites post SOOOO frequently that I find it overwhelming. any advice?

it's an eclectic process. I watch some TV news which gives me a heads up on things happening. So does dreamwidth and tumblr and friends with different areas of interests that will let me know about things happening in the areas they watch or in their countries. I also watch a couple of other progressive aggregators with sort of Venn diagram interest areas with mine. So some stuff over laps with things I already read, but there are more things I wouldn't have spotted on my own that are important and/or interesting. I also have a bunch of searches I do for longer running things, and things I'll do a random periodic search on to check in with ongoing situations that mostly fell out of the English language news cycle.

I started out doing history articles and archeology news, that sort of thing. Then there was a little commentary. Then Us politics went completely berserk and I ran out of time to properly read and post breaking news, let alone the things i still care about but are so much less world on fire. I try to squeeze some in at the edges never theless.

It helps that I read stupid fast with a high comprehension rate. also, I'm disabled and don't work, so I have time other people don't have, even working at whatever pace my body is up for that day. I can just go lie down if need to. I don't have to force myself to type much if my arm is completely fucked that day. Most people have a whole lot of time sucked into working and commuting. Most aggregators are working to some sort of schedule if only self imposed.

A lot of why my out put rate is so uneven from day to day is some days I am too busy or ill. Some days I do a ton of reading and prepping, but am too ill or tired or in pain and can't post much of it. The massive output Sunday evening was an example of the opposite thing, where I hadn't time to read, but I had a ton of links read and preorganized, so I could toss them onto the dreamwith scaffold and post them very fast at the same time on Tumblr, so I gnawed through some of my backlog pile.

(I post a sorted aggregate on dreamwidth once or twice a week at https://gwydion.dreamwidth.org/. Tumblr they mostly go up in batches).

I am doing this on the most basic level out of love. I love learning stuff, hence my origins over on livejournal before the Russians got it, sharing links to articles about cool things people dug up. I grew up in a political family. I've been watching politics since the Ford/Carter debates. I do care about the world. I want things to be better. I can't march. I can signal boost, and write, and share links, and call politicians to complain about stuff. It means a lot to me when people I don't know look at what I do and it helps them in some way.

I would be reading news regardless. I learned at the age of eight that when confronted with horrors, that for me personally, I do best if I study the enemy. This allowed me to work out how best to resist and survive. all these decades later, my survival strategy dishes up news links organized in anxiety friendly ways on dreamwidth, and in the more chaotic but blacklistable form here on tumblr. I'm anal retentive about news tagging to help the people who aren't here for that or who aren't up to staring directly into the void with me and drinking from the news fire hose. I never even expect my closest friends to read all my output, because my volume is rather excessive.

Don't feel bad if you aren't up to it, some days or weeks or months. My adaptation is wildly atypical and for most people this would be unhealthy.

If the news is too much, it's okay to take a mental health break. I do ask that you vote, because we need everyone, regardless of country to save the world. The news will still be there when you are up to it

Any aggregate has a bias, both selection, and the other kind. there are things i don't cover because I don't know they are happening or because there isn't time. There are a whole lot of other things that I don't or barely cover because they aren't good for me. it is so much harder to see absence than presence.

My best advice to you, is to find someone like me who gets a lot of the things you are interested in so you can at least skim headlines. More than one is better, but if you get stressed out by the output keep it simple. Find some news sites you trust or if you have a good local paper get a subscription. (I used to read the paper everyday, but my local paper is extra bad, so I'm all online now). Read articles on things that interest you. If you are up to it do some searches on topics important to you.

Whatever you do, never read or watch one news source exclusively. Every source has biases. If all that history training has taught me anything, it's that.

Remember that no one can read everything and that's okay.

I have no idea if this helps. I just stopped to read your note before bed, so I'm a bit rambly.

[thatbitchsimone]

I also love Angelica and think she's so great - there's another video on her youtube where she says people should only lose their virginity in their 20's - what do you think about this? I agree with her sentiment to an extent and I do think as a woman I was put into many situations that make me feel used now and I am sure this can negatively affect men as well.. I just kind of felt ashamed/worried after watching the video because she said that having sex very young can negatively set you up for life and I agree to an extent but I think there's more nuance to it than a 20 minute youtube video can express.. And also I think the problem more with me is I didn't know to express my boundaries or communicate and people took advantage of that sometimes.. and just how women are socialised etc etc

i was just gonna watch that video but it looks like shes deleted all of those videos (which sucks ass bc she had an amazing video about the tumblr nymphet community and its parallels to nambla and how it has negatively affected us that got seduced by that little subculture back in the mid 2010s) so unfortunately i cant answer this properly bc i dont have the full context and i dont have her arguments etc but i can still give some of my immidiate thoughts on it so here we go

i think losing ur virginity/wait with sex until ur in ur 20s is probably ideal tbh and i would absolutely encourage it for anyone who is in their teens rn and havent had their sexual debut yet. main reason being that u will be old enough to understand sex and its risks and effects and u will have had time to figure ur own body out more and u will most likely have at the very least basic level emotional intelligence and maturity that is required to have safe and healthy and enjoyable sex. like u have just finished puberty and just left teenagehood behind which is a messy and confusing and rough lifestage for all of us and ur now entering adulthood and have gained some perspective etc and u are way more in tune with urself (at the very least compared to when u were a teen) and both ur body and brain will be developed enough to be able to handle sex and have a realistic attitude around it and while ofc u can still be manipulated and u may still be somewhat naive it wont be anywhere near AS easy to manipulate u as it would have been earlier bc thats just how it is. u might still be vulnerable maybe sure but if ur vulnerable now u were even MORE vulnerable when u were a teen. its just how it is. thats how growing up works. u will probably have a way easier and more enjoyable sexual debut in ur 20s bc u will have a headstart in so many ways both physically and emotionally.

BUT im not gonna pretend like its that black and white and simple. Many girls (and boys but im focusing on women here) have perfectly normal and healthy sexual encounters when they are teenagers and i rly dont believe that sex will just automatically traumatize and harm u when ur a teen bc lets be real here, the key here is that u explore sex with UR PEERS, boys and girls within ur own age group, NOT ppl that are 20+ when u are like 14-16. when ur a high schooler and u want to explore sex u do it with other high schoolers. ppl ur own age. I think its perfectly fine and normal to have sex when ur a teen, but that is assuming u are having sex with other teens. NOT ppl that are like 5 years older than u. thats when actual impactful long lasting harm becomes highly likely. feeling like u got used and heartbroken by a boy in ur school aka a boy that is ur peer and ur own age will hurt and suck and will leave an impact on u but its a very different impact than the one u will be left with if u felt taken advantaged of by someone much older (not a teen). the dynamics are whats important here i think.

sex and relationships are messy and yes u can always get fucked up from it thats just how it is. u cant avoid it. u just need to be able to handle it and maybe ur not ready to handle it until ur like 25, thats fine. dont do it then. like if u dont think ur ready, just wait until u are. if ur like 15 and feel ready then go ahead but STICK TO PPL UR OWN AGE when ur that young. u gotta be equals. period.

[smileymoth]

tw suicide/self harm/disordered eating idk im having a moment

best part abuot being a fucking coward is that i dont think id ever kill myself. like i am too scared to just injure myself . i cant even cut myself too deep without freaking out like i see a drop of too much blood and i feel like im gona faint . but boy if i do not think abt just ending it every day. i sometimes start thinking about details and it freaks me out so i stop but its just like a passing thought of ohhh i cant fucking take this anymore i need to kill myself . it would be better if i just fucking died bc i dont bring any sort of value to society. im deathly afraid of not getting a job. i dont want to live with my mom for the rest of my life like my aunt. i dont think i could handle it. i need to be alone and i need to be indipendent. ive been hurting myself since i was like 10 by just scratching myself or whatever but like actually starting to cut myself at age 22 is kind of embarrassing like. im an adult. what am i doing. i cant fucking do this shit man. i cried today bc i was all nice n cozy in bed and i just cried bc i was like god i wish this could just be how it was every day. i dont want to do anything i dont want to go to work i dont want to do schoolwork i just want to draw and get paid for it. but i just suck at everything. i need help with everything. i need to kill myself. tbf i could probably do the museum job forever. but i am never getting hired bc they dont need me there. i do feel like a job would be better than school. school makes me want to kill myself. im so fucking stressed about everything right now its unreal. i need a scale so fucking bad too and i need to get back into the flow of restricting properly bc ive just been fucked in that department lately bc im so overwhelmed. its so impossible to keep ttrack of what you eat when youre busy. when you dont have a specific routine. im autistic arent i. whatever. i need to just make sure im always under [redacted} kilos so that if the surgeon finally fucking calls i would not have to be like oops sorry i cant im still an obese cunt who you cant operate on. idk. i need to kill myself as per usual. like i cant keep up with all of this shit. i just want to not be so fucking stresserd all the time but life is all jut about being stressed and doing shit and i dont know if i can handle it. i can barely handle school and now im flipflopping between volunteering at the museum and school and im dying im just straightup dying like im pretty surre why i got so sick now was bc i was stressed tf out bout everything and not resting. and yet i feel like i havent done enough. i have done fucking nothing to secure myself a job in the future. i have no plans for the future beside "ill figure it out as i go" but things really dont work like that. im fucking wasting my life away im useless like. i have nothing to offer anyone. who want me no one. shoot me in the headddd nowwwwwwwwww i need to kms and die forever

and like i dont even know why i am like this. like im just fucked in the head. i feel like im gona be like this forever. idk if i can live to 40 like that. i have no horrid trauma that would result in me being this much of a sad freak who keeps whining. like i feel like im just pretending or like playing the victim to get idk brownie points from god or something bc i dont tell shit to anyone beside like 3 of my friends and all of tumblr but i rly doubt anyone reads these anyway like this shit too logn. tl;dr whatever. whatever. it feels like its my fault that im like this. i feel like i fucked my life up on purpose somehow. that its my fault that i want to kill myself. idk if it works like that. but the thought of that only makes me want to get worse. like ive contemplated so many times of just making myself bleed so hard i pass out but i cant bc im a pussy but i feel like it would prove sth to someone. probably to myself. that im not just making it up for attention even though yeah sureeeee the attention you get from slicing your skin and then making sure to always cover that shit up to make sure nobody ever sees . whatever. i hate this shit if you ever think abt cutting just dont you wont get rid of it and if your mental health keeps getting gradually worse so will that bc hashtag coping mechanism. its like the only thing rn that even helps it like calms me down but then its like aw shucks theres new scarrsssss that take ages to heal. fuck my shit life idk. im stupid and stubborn and i dont think ever. i think too much actually. i hate that i dont feel sick enough i hate that i just feel lazy and ungrateful. i hate feeling like im being weak so that others would do sth about it while i push away any and all help i get offered . if i do accept it i feel like shit afterward bc im not enough to get it done myself. i hate feeling like im always behind. like im sdomehow behind all my friends . ill never be good enough. ill always be behind. i peaked in 9th grade and it was all downhill from there. i shouldve been someone else from the beginning. i hate that i exist i feel sorry for my mother for having to put up with me i feel sorry for my friends for having to put up with me . im just pathetic and sad and i do fuckin gnothing to help myself

[iggurichan]

now that 2023 is over (and i didnt overslept like yesterday), i figured it was time to properly talk about my thoughts during the year. back in early march i decided that i wanted to make my art accounts more active by doing weekly drawings. honestly i thought i would've stopped after the first month, but surprisingly i kept up the weekly upload schedule up until the end of september. obviously i didnt keep up with my weekly schedule after that, but it is pretty crazy looking back on all of the drawings i did, easily the most i have done in a single year. just looking at my archive on tumblr speaks for itself when you see the content from the years.

as for what's next in this year, it's hard to say if i would keep up the weekly schedule since it probably isnt too realistic without leading to eventual burnout like last time. however, i do enjoy drawing whenever and that is something i dont want to stop doing, i just wont be too hard on myself with deadlines to avoid that same mistake like last year. i also decided that this year i want to start up a small comic that i will be doing throughout the year, obviously im not expecting a lot of people to read it but hey it would fulfill that desire i had last year of keeping my art accounts active while doing something im interested in. i havent decided how the pace of the comic will go yet and i dunno how soon i can get that started, but maybe it will start in february? dont hold me to that, i get distracted easy whenever it comes to any side project as some people might know (doesnt help that i've recently been playing granblue versus last month). also i have a few unfinished sketches i never finished last year, i dont really have any plans on finishing them, but at the very least it cant hurt to share them.

however, i also decided that weekly i'll be answering some year old questions i have in my tumblr ask inbox as a way to buffer some doodles while working on the comic. though i only have 4 or so questions to last me a month, so if you want to ask me anything (within reason), feel free to ask me anonymously if you want to ask me multiple questions, i have no idea it would be you anyways. just know that your question wont be answered until february since i want to answer these really old questions first. this lets me do some fun doodles while keeping my art accounts active during drawing downtime. speaking of accounts, i still gotta post my past drawings onto bluesky, pixiv and etc, i've just been really lazy so honestly it's hard to say when those will be at the same status as my twitter and tumblr. but they'll serve as more options to show my art in the scenario that either site randomly dies one day. whenever i do update them, i'll also make a new pinned with my current accounts to reflect that as my current one was just a placeholder so my pinned wasnt a wall of text like this one is.

thanks everyone who checked out my art last year, it means a lot to me. doing drawings is a fun hobby and i enjoy looking back on the drawings i've done.

tl;dr upload schedule wont be consistent for my sanity, but i plan on making a comic this year, also ask me questions on tumblr to give me an excuse to do doodles weekly

[oceanofsoup]

I posted 2,001 times in 2022

That's 1,343 more posts than 2021!

100 posts created (5%)

1,901 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vexedandperplexed

@twerkstallion

@tmmyhug

@elbowreveal

@anarcho-smarmyism

I tagged 170 of my posts in 2022

#philza - 15 posts

#mcc - 13 posts

#technoblade - 11 posts

#ranboo - 10 posts

#wilbur soot - 8 posts

#dream smp - 7 posts

#dsmp - 6 posts

#tommyinnit - 5 posts

#dream - 4 posts

#sneegsnag - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#but yall are all very aware of how fucked cwilburs mental health is so its not really too suprising his mind would twist cphils advice

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ya know its pretty fucked that no matter the outcome of this whole situation, it's going to fuck over anyone associated with him/dsmp. Whether they're close friends or not there's gonna be people that find issue with cc's for ever interacting with him. They don't deserve that shit, and I really hope they just don't say anything and let him properly address everything.

95 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

I colored some stuff :)

116 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

#3

To anyone genuinly or even just sorta mad about the ace race restart, there has indead been a reset before and its not a ploy to fuck over your favorite white boy. Back in season one there was a glitch in battle box where they could kill each other in the starting box so they restarted. And even then less people were effected than this restart, but they knew that they could fix it so they did. The glitch in sky battle last mcc wasnt something they could fix, at least not easily during the event, and they could be sure that it would still happen with a reset.

389 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#2

Enough osmp phil and tommy angst, o!phil is a goofy villian who is extremely soft for his son, and o!tommy is the only one who doesnt see his dad as the bad guy cos he knows that hes not actually as evil as he makes himself seem.

399 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ranboo really spent over a year avoiding mentioning his sexuality and boobers politley followed his boundries just for him to go, damn why havent you guys figured it out yet?

412 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lunarifie]

Headcanons in MHA that I havent seen enough of and should be talked about more. (Im gonna keep adding on to this every time i think of a not very well known headcanon)

Shouta Aizawa (Eraserhead) and Hizashi Yamada (Present mic) have a cat named Bastard. Like seriously why have i seen this more than once in different fics is this like an inside joke or something-

Hizashi Yamada (Present mic) is the homeroom teacher of gen-ed 1-C (the Class that Shinsou is in)

Izuku and Inko are Shimuras: I’ve seen so many dad for one headcannons and theories but only like once or twice have I seen the theory that Inko is a Shimura which makes her related to Nana Shimura which makes Izuku related to Nana Shimura which makes them related to Shigaraki. You see Midoriya is Izukus fathers last name. We dont really know Inkos maiden name.

The Red Shoe Theory: This theory has been showing up a lot more and i really like it. Its still a little unpopular compared to some other theories though. The theory is that quirkless people have to wear this specific shoe brand because of their extra pinky toe joint. Thats why Izuku has to wear those red shoes all the time. People use this in a lot of different ways. For example Aizawa learns Midoriyas quirklessness by figuring out about his shoes.

Blasian deku: A headcannon that izukus blasian! Half asian half black. Theres hardly anything of it on tumblr and close to none on ao3. Its a headcannon thats mostly run on tik tok. It was stemmed from a manga panel where izuku has an afro. People also connect it to more popular headcannons that is black mina and latino/hispanic sero. There are cute ideas like Mina helping Izuku tame his hair and properly take care of it.

Midoriya the villain magnet: this is about as canon as it gets. This headcannon is more of a play on words and midoriya being a “villain magnet” is used in a lot of fics. It annoys and worries the hell out of all might that young Midoriya will run into a villain like 3 times a week.

Kirishima has two moms: Honestly don’t know where this headcannon stemmed from but for some reason it just fits.

Todoroki is non binary/goes by he/they pronouns: I dont know where this headcanon came from either but it also just fits.

Bakugou and midoriya are brothers: Where Midoriya and Bakugou are less romantically involved (which is a very popular ship) and more or less have this sibling relationship.

Momo yaoyorozu is chubby: This makes complete perfect sense because she creates stuff out of her fat, she would need a lot of body mass to do this. So it would make sense for her to be chubby.

Recovery girl gives gummies: Not really a headcanon but just something that randomly happens often in fics that i dont think ive ever seen actually happen in the anime. She just- she just gives gummies to patients after their treated. Its happened enough that makes me wonder WHY it’s happened so many times.

Eraserhead fights quirkless: technically canon and talked enough to be a semi popular “headcanon”, but i like it a lot and i just want people to be aware of it. I like to think that Izuku kinda looks up to Eraserhead because of how he fights quirkless and evens out the playing field. If Izuku never got OFA i think Eraserhead would be a big motivator for him.

[osdd-1bitch]

// partly a vent? but also if you have any type of advice as to what i can do pls say,, gotta be honest im still INSANELY fucked on if im a system or not :( for a while i was dead set on it but i ended up just not saying anything to my therapist and fell back into that "ok no thats not me, im just a really vivid daydreamer" mindset.

then your blog auto-popped up as i was typing and i clicked it and im back to that "maybe" thing. im just so conflicted rn ughhh goddamnit :( ive been having an extremely stressful past few weeks (no specifics but alot of my trauma resurfaced, alot of shit triggered me, similar traumatic situations etc) and i missed both of my therapy sessions the past 2 weeks, so ive kinda reverted back to being dependant on alters who im not even sure are alters or not. and even THEN im not sure how to bring up to my therapist that i think i may have OSDD or DID?? like idk how im gonna come back after 2 weeks and say "hey btw all this traumatic shit came back up and i think i might be a system bc i talk to people in my head who arent me lol but anyways can i use ur fidget cube?" ??? SO much has happened and im really debating on just pushing down that it might be osdd/did and pretending nothing is wrong for the sake of keeping myself mentally stable yk ?? gotta say i just dont know what to do at all. lets also not forget im 13 and shouldnt even have to deal w this much stress EVER but dfghgtf. im just really struggling to tell if this is my maladaptive daydreaming or DID man :(

MaDD and plurality are weird to work w, especially since MaDD can and often is be caused by trauma and there are some expressions of MaDD that one could put on the plural spectrum. Its mucky either way and can suck to deal with

before i continue, id like to say our experience on therapy has...not been great so ill refrain from giving therapy specific advice for fear of our past experiences clouding our judgement, but you can share the trauma bits and get some help without talking about plurality. the rings system did some videos that might help about talking to a therapist,red flags ect, lovely folks, you should give em a watch if you havent. either way id say you prolly shouldnt bring this up yet, but info is also good in general

and also, some personal advice, be very very careful on the internet, especially social medias at your age. we were in your shoes once and it did fck us up quite a bit

either way, i seriously doubt youll be taken seriously, not in a bad way, full grown adults struggle to get help. and stressing about specifics can just lead to, you guessed it! more stress. its totally fine to drop all lables and just exist for a while and try and do whatever, talking w sysmates or daydreaming whatever, you dont have to name these experiences for now, just live them. doubt is weird, and youll almost def be wout dxing for a few years either way.

just live your life, try not to bring up trauma wout professionals, and be very safe on the internet, and preferably get off tumblr and move somewhere safer, its really not a place for people your age. i know you probably wont listen to that bit much, but at least be extra super safe.

self dxing can take years btw. its not really a matter of weeks, lived experience and analyzing yourself and just questioning takes a lot of time. take it slow

and its totally fine if its not did. or madd. or either. dont stress, dont try and conform yourself to dxes and stuff rn, especially since you are both v young and just started questioning. im not saying your age means you shouldnt, if you have did you have it rn, but things can take time to come to light. just b honest w yourself and open to the options, mkay? self dxing is a lot of research on top of the work. if you started questiong round now tbh many systems if they questions at your age would get a dx or self dx at like 15,16,17 ect ect, and thats if they question. do what helps you and talk to your therapist, you dont have to mention did but talk about questioning disorders and junk.

this sorta age is when figuring yourself out rlly starts to happen yknow? that doesnt mean you should be cornered off n stuff, n kept away from dxes, but it also means you should be very careful n research a ton. if you find smth you resonate w it, keeping it in the maybe pile for a year or two can seem like its a long time, but will help a ton in the end, if its true or not. if its stressing you out a ton, its okay to not think about it for a bit, you have time.

and again, please please please try and get off social medias they can mess w your head a lot, and try not to share your age online again. im torn abt publishing this n may delete this ask n repost the response, but im not sure

tldr:

i dont wanna tell you to not question or identify symptoms, but things change a lot n you are just dipping your toes into life. take things slow and sit on them, thats the best advice given to us at your age. you could be absolutely right, you could be confused, you could be dead wrong, and all of these are okay. just keep yourself open, research and rlly think abt it (like months of thinking abt it) before it can age properly in the maybe bin. and also be safe online, dont share your age and stuff n keep off toxic n inapropriate sites like this best you can. options are open and symptoms can change over time. just exist and take note of things. dont stress over lables, n self dx should stay in the possibly-maybe bin for now, itll be worth the wait

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Okay, for anyone who maybe enjoys my writing heres a thing.

I havent been in a productive headspace lately and everytime I get motivation to write something happens and it goes away. But! I've been working on and off with requests and personal projects, 12 of them to be honest, and they're getting to where they're okay. So.

I dont want to jinx myself but in two weeks I'm planning on posting all of the wips, along with (hopefully if I can figure out how to do it) a masterlistbthat I'll keep updated and have requests back open for anyone who wants to send in prompts. All of my past writing will be redone and edited properly bc I always get too excited to do so and will be under a specific tag so I and anyone else can find it easier.

I'm also working on a thing that will open up as an ask blog/comic starting in August, more info will be posted about that once I actually open it if anyones interested.

I'm just posting this because I know I have requests from people that are about a month old at this point but my motivation is not consistant so I apologize to anyone who felt like they might have gotten ignored. You did not, I still have every single request, though a couple of the asks did disappear because tumblr likes to eat them for some reason.