#still got some jars im working my way through too

[sybilius]

Just used the last fresh tomato from the harvest this year :") the bucket of green tomatos I brought indoors all ripened so I've been working my way through those until now. Thank you tomatos....I am nourished...

[uranometrias]

don't forget to kiss me, jennifer jareau x fem! reader

★☆

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summary: in which jj has been into you for as long as she can remember. from your first day on the team she'd found herself utterly enraptured. she had partially assumed her adoration for you was merely a result of your personality, and the fact you were closest in age. seven years later, and she finds that her feelings towards you are a bit more complicated than she thought. which is why you being angry with her is even more gut-wrenching. pairing: jennifer jareau! x bau! female reader category: angst, unresolved content warnings: violence (reader smacks jj) love confessions. jj is kind of... self-destructively in love with you... you're disastrously oblivious + could potentially be unaware of your own feelings for jj. this is my first time writing for her, so fingers crossed her characterization lines up w/ canon. if not ? sue me :( author's note. this is my first time writing for jj, im so nervous about it. this can be read as an alternate universe for “you’re still a traitor” it picks up about a month or so after the court proceedings and reader has been ignoring jj , so she shows up at her house! idk why when writing for criminal minds, i always write jj with underlying feelings for reader… maybe because i actually like her a lot more than i initially thought (I’ve been a jj hater for years so this is a little jarring ) kinda spurred on by glue song xx unhappy ending, but room for a part 2

You hadn't been expecting any company, so when you heard a faint knock at the front door of your apartment, you were a bit confused. You were wearing a tank and boy-shorts, the weather in Quantico picking up to unbearable temperatures. It was impossible to focus with too many layers, and you supposed your choice in loungewear was a major sign that you were off duty. After the week you'd had, you'd become a bit of a recluse. Maybe "a bit" was underselling it.

You had wanted to be excited, happy, relieved even, that Emily was back. The team could be whole again, but your anxiety hadn't allowed you to. Instead, you'd found yourself feeling betrayed, angry, hurt. You lashed out at everyone, you didn't want to be bothered. You got to work earlier so that you could be the first to leave when evening came. When you were out on a case, you stayed glued to Rossi, Derek or Spencer. You couldn't meet the eye of the others.

Hotch, who had one point been your favorite person on the team, was now someone you avoided. There was some saying out there about 'never meeting your heroes', you felt that with this life changing reunion this quote had managed to sum up your life. You'd held him to such high regard, and had never expected him to lie to you. But he had, he'd done it without pause. And somehow he'd felt like the only person he needed to share this with was JJ.

That stung a little bit more. JJ was supposed to be your best friend. Even while she'd been gone, away working at the Pentagon, she'd been your rock. You couldn't count on your fingers and toes the amount of nights you'd spent crying your eyes out over the perceived loss while JJ combed her fingers through your hair and promised that 'everything would be alright.' In the grand scheme of things you assumed this eventual end was what she'd meant by that.

She had expected you to be okay. They had expected things to be normal, but they couldn't. After you'd been called into court to talk about the way things went down you'd become more of a ghost around the office. You had transfer papers hidden at your desk, and a ticking clock in the back of your mind. Maybe you were going overboard, being childish and stubborn, but you couldn't find it in you to care. How could you be on a team with people who lied.

After everything you'd seen, everything you'd been through together, they'd still chosen to lie. They'd kept you in the dark, because they thought they knew what was best for you. How were they any different from the higher ups that were constantly making decisions that put the entire team at risk? They weren't, and that's what sucked. You remembered when you'd confronted them with your feelings, they'd tried to pacify you with reminders of Emily's safety.

Somehow the fact that in their heads your grief was of little concern in comparison to Emily hurt the worst. You couldn't seem to understand the secrecy... especially since in the end, Emily wouldn't have managed to take down Doyle for good without you all. It felt like a waste of time, and when you'd placed your paperwork for a leave of absence on Hotch's desk, he hadn't had the guts to say anything. No one had said a word, they'd let you leave.

If it had been anyone else the calvary would've been out, but here you were on day ten of the longest break you'd had since you'd joined the bureau, and the only thing you had that proved you were missed were your unopened text messages from Penelope and Spencer. Penelope had been relaying messages for both her and Derek. Spencer had made you promise not to quit without saying goodbye. You knew how important it was to him, so if it came down to it, you'd give him that.

Still, your unwelcomed guest has grown impatient. They tap against your door a bit more impatiently, and you're climbing off your couch. Your slippers squeak with every step, and it's a bit funny, lightens your mood just barely. This hardly lasts, because the second you're swinging the door open your mood is dropping. Jennifer Jareau stands before you, looking more worse for wear than you'd seen her. She looks relieved when your eyes connect, you suddenly feel faint.

"Y/N." she always has this way of saying your name, like she's learning how to breathe for the first time, and before it was a symbol of your bond. "I'm sorry to show up like this, I didn't think you'd answer if I tried to call you." she admits, and you don't know how you look. You can't tell if she's receiving a bitter glare or something of the sort. All you know is how you feel. You feel like you're suffocating, like it's suddenly too hot. You feel like your clothes are too tight.

JJ is the one doing this to you. You're certain that's why you take a step backwards. She hasn't been at the profiling game long enough to mask the way you'd outrightly rejected her. "Why are you here?" you demand, and she crinkles her nose, almost like she's trying to keep from sneezing or something along the same lines. She honestly hadn't thought much of what she'd say. It had been almost two weeks since anyone had seen you, and she was going crazy.

"I just-" she exhales shakily, and you're about two seconds away from slamming the door in her face. "I wanted to see you." she admits, and you're unfazed, and visibly unimpressed. She'd waited almost two weeks, you were happy her guilt was eating her up. "No one's heard anything from you.... I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." she adds, and you take note of how she shuffles from foot to foot, nervous eyes jumping from one side of your face to the other.

She looks so unlike herself, not quite as bold and confident as you were used to. It's off putting, more than that though, it's a little suspicious all things considered.

"I'm fine." you insist, and you don't try to take some of the sharpness from your words. JJ's blue eyes are swimming with more emotions than you care to count in the moment. They're glassy, surrounded in dark circles and bags, she hadn't been sleeping. You hoped that wasn't on account of you, because in your current position you couldn't afford to be moved by her guilt. "And that could've been a text." you admit, and JJ winces. The drive from her place to yours was well over thirty minutes. She'd wasted her time.

"Are you going to hate me forever?" she asks, and you're at least offered the peace that comes with not finding anger in her tone. You were happy that at least she wouldn't be trying to make you feel bad for being angry. You don't know how to respond, because you honestly didn't know. You didn't know why you were so torn up about this, but you were. You couldn't look at her and pretend everything was okay, you couldn't go back to how things were before.

"Maybe." you mumble under your breath, and JJ looks so crushed. That manages to tug at your heart strings, you'd always been weak.

JJ's suddenly shuffling, digging through her bag. "Is that why you never said anything?" she asks, and she's holding your completed transfer application out towards you. It takes a moment for it to register, and you want to cower behind your door. Her gaze is so sharp, so crystalline like she was looking right through you. "Y/N..." and she says your name like she's the one who's been betrayed.

"You went through my stuff?" you counter, veering the subject off of your decision, and putting the focus back on her. "Bad way to go about regaining trust there, Jennifer." you say, and she flinches. You'd known one another for years, and you'd never called her Jennifer. You'd been calling her Jaige since you first became friends, what she wouldn't give to hear you call her that now. "I don't owe you an explanation." you add crossly, snatching the paperwork from her.

"Maybe not, but you owe it to Hotch." she argues like the know-it-all and little kiss ass that she's always been. "You owe it to the rest of the team." she adds a bit more gruffly, and you want to laugh at the hypocrisy. "You can't just spring this on them blind. If you're gonna run away at least have the guts to own up to it." she lectures, and you want to hit her, maybe grab her by her throat and shake her from side to side. "Instead of hiding out in your house like a child."

She gasps when you hit her, you think that you gasp too. You can't tell though, not with all the blood rushing to your head. You feel like your ears are clogged, and your eyes are wide, surprised at yourself. JJ's head is cocked to the side, cheek reddening as she gingerly clutches it. "JJ." and she supposes it's sort of a win. You weren't calling her Jennifer or Agent Jareau anymore. But her face stings, and it's starting to throb, and she thinks that she may burst into tears.

"It's okay." she says, because it kind of is. She was stupid in that way, willing to do whatever it took to get you back. Even at her own self destruction, and she supposed that's why she'd waited almost fourteen days to come see you. "Y/N/N, hey, it's okay..." she promises, and now it's your turn to feel guilty. There's this knot in your gut that pinches and twists and tightens. It steals your breath and makes you want to run and hide in your bedroom.

"I'm so sorry." You sputter, and your eyes are stuck wide open.

It's a good sign that you can apologize. Lucky you, you weren't as numb as you thought. JJ was still in your heart, maybe that meant Hotch and Emily were too. "I didn't mean to-" and you reach out for her, fingers ghosting just barely over where her cheek was starting to welt. You retract your hand at the last second though, you hadn't expected to actually hit her. "JJ, I'm so sorry." you reiterate, shuffling backwards, mostly so she doesn't touch you.

"It's okay." and you think maybe her ability to forgive you so easily is partially why you snap the way you do.

"No it's not!" you exclaim. "Nothing about this is okay, JJ." she jumps a bit at your tone, eyes flitting down the hallway. It was still vacant for now, which was good. "And just because you choose to forgive me quickly does not mean, I'm obligated to get over this now." you remind her as she pouts at you. She didn't understand why you were choosing not to forgive her. It didn't make any sense, it wasn't like she'd intentionally tried to hurt you. She hadn't had a choice.

"That's not fair." she exclaims, and now it's her turn to get aggravated.

"No, it isn't." you agree. "But, guess what JJ, it's my choice." the reminder makes JJ's face sour. Her heart though chooses

"I don't have to forgive you, especially when you haven't even actually told me why you're sorry. I don't want some apology that's just a means to keep you from feeling guilty about the fact that you fucked up, and you betrayed me." and it certainly sounds melodramatic. JJ's eyes are instantly rolling, and you feel a bit bad for your neighbors.

"You're treating this like it was some personal vindictive decision we decided to make." she counters. "It wasn't about you." she reiterates. "It wasn't about any of us." her voice raises just slightly. "It was about Emily." she sneers, "Do you remember her? Our friend." she emphasizes. "We did what we thought was best, Emily wasn't safe as long as Doyle was on the run, we wanted to minimize any chance of an attack." JJ proceeds. "We did what we had to for her." she adds.

"Don't you think we would've understood? We're supposed to be a family, JJ." you shoot back, and JJ's letting out an agitated sigh.

"We are a family."

"Give me a break." you're checked out of the conversation now, and you wonder how quickly you can shut the door in her face.

"What are you actually angry with me about, Y/N?" JJ presses. "I saw you that first day

You're telling me you're willing to throw away all your years at the bureau, all your years on this team, because of a decision that was out of our control?" she says, and she looks so disgusted at the thought. Maybe she was, it felt like the cowardly thing to do. Run away with your tail tucked between your legs instead of owning up to your feelings.

"I trusted you, JJ." you shout. "There's nothing deeper beneath the surface then that." JJ's eyes widen a bit at your outburst. "You watched me grieve for seven months. All while you got to sleep peacefully at night, because you knew the whole time that you hadn't really lost your friend. To you there was always an end to this, a day where Emily would be back, so not being able to see her for a little while doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things." you add.

"Y/N..." she begins and you shake your head.

"I think you should leave, I don't know why you came here." you mumble, and your hands on the door, ready to shut it in her face.

"Because I hate this." she answers sternly, voice raising just slightly. "And I'm tired of pretending that I don't." she emphasizes as your mood seems to worsen. "I-" she takes in a sharp breath. "I miss you, okay?" she exclaims. "I just want you to hear me out... for one second, and then I'll back off." she insists. "I'll leave you alone, and I'll accept that you'll never forgive me, but just... give me the chance to explain." you don't like to see JJ begging. It seems wildly out of character.

You think that's why you give her the chance. You nod your head stiffly, and she visibly relaxes, exhaling a shuddered breath.

"You have-" and her hands curl up into tight fists. "You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you." she exclaims, and you don't hold back with the visibly unimpressed look that crosses your face. "It's true." she deadpans forcibly. "And I know you can take care of yourself, you've been doing this profiling thing a lot longer than I have... but I couldn't rationalize putting you in harm's way, okay? I was trying to protect you." she explains, and she sounds desperate.

"I didn't ask you to do that." you shoot back instantly.

"That's the point, you never have to ask me." she cuts you off abruptly. "You'd never have to ask me to take care of you." and you note the way her turn-of-phrase has changed just slightly. "It's not something that I even have to think about doing, I just do it." she proceeds, and you blink a bit harshly, hand immediately moving to drag against your eye. You're sure on the outside it makes you look even more disengaged from the conversation.

You are listening though.

"I have known you for seven years-" her voice cracks, words slurring just slightly as she nervously gestures with her hands. Her eyes are glassy, but she still hasn't cried, you think that's just a part of who JJ is. Strong emotionally, unable to really let herself feel anything, she never wanted to look weak. You'd never expected such a front with you, even now when you were at odds, but here you were. "And-" she chokes on a breath, and none of your profiling skills seem to allow you to read between the lines. She would just have to spell it out.

She grows more anxious the longer you stare at her with an dry sort of expression. "And I've loved you for all seven of them." she finally blurts it out, and you feel it when a shiver snakes its way down your spine. "I just kept thinking about Doyle, and what he was capable of-" she proceeds to jump right over the confession. "I don't know how to be normal about you..." and it's lighthearted, it makes your lips twitch just slightly. "You're my best friend." she continues.

"And sometimes I just can't- I can't think straight... I go into this place where the only thing that ever matters is-" and her eyes widen just slightly before she's backpedaling. "I want to keep you safe, always." she insists. "You're my priority, you always have been, and I don't know what it'll take for you to trust me again, but I'm asking you to remember who I've always been to you, okay?" and her words are starting to lump together as she begins to speak much quicker.

You resist the urge to place a hand on her shoulder.

"And-and I just want you to ask yourself if I would ever do anything to hurt you deliberately." and you know, of course that she wouldn't. She hadn't. "Because I know that hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do. You purse your lips some, body leaning sideways as you press against the doorframe. You had a lot of thoughts swirling around your head, and many a feeling revving up in your chest. "I'm not good at this stuff." she admits, and of course you know that as well.

"But I'm asking you to let me make it up to you, I'm asking you to forgive me, and to believe that I only did what I did, because I was scared that you finding out about Emily would leave you open to danger." she pries. "I didn't think I had many options..." and her arms swing out, palms smacking against her thighs. She takes a breath that makes her chest heave. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Y/N/N. I am so sorry." and she's trying to slow down her heartbeat.

Silence befalls the hallway immediately after, all you can really hear is JJ's booming heartbeat. She looks a bit crestfallen, and her face crumples up in that way that lets you know she's definitely about to cry. Still, JJ was the strongest woman that you knew, and you knew that no matter what, she'd wait until she was alone before she ever let you see her cry. She breathes in deep, back straightening as she fixes her posture just slightly. "I understand." and she curls her nose.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this." and she gestures to the space in between you both. "It wont happen again." she says it like a promise. "Bye, Y/N." her voice has grown a tad more glum, but you think you love her more because she doesn't beg.

"Bye, Jaige." and her chest fluttering at the nickname is a huge betrayal. Still, she couldn't deny how strongly she felt for you, even as you were crushing her heart in your hands. She watches as you stand back upright, stepping back into your apartment before you gently let the door shut. She gasps when the lock slips into place, and it's then that she allows herself the moment to shed a tear.

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"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Derek's beaming at you, pretty teeth almost glistening underneath the shabby bullpen lights. It had been two days since JJ had shown up at your house, two days that had given you ample opportunity to think and reel in all your emotions. You held two cups of coffee in your hands, you supposed it could count as a peace offering. A truce declaration if you needed to label it as something. The aroma was pleasant and definitely calming.

"You look good, sweetheart." and there's no flirting beneath his words. He genuinely looks pleased with the fact, and you're grateful.

Derek Morgan was as sweet a friend as any, and despite his macho-manly outer shell, he'd treated you like kin from the day you started in the unit. He didn't smother you or hover over you, he let you be exactly who you were, but never failed to watch your back.

"I feel good." you admit, and you let out a quiet breath. "I'm glad to be back." you add a second after, and you're placing your coffees down long enough to wrap him a hug. It's needed, the comfort of your big brother, who's immediately scooping you into his arms. He squeezes like he's worried you'll disappear the second he lets you go, and you can only imagine that word had spread about your desire to step down from the unit. "I missed you, Der." you admit with a quiet huff, and Derek bends his chin to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"And I missed you, but I'm glad that you got what you needed." he then leans back, arms resting on your shoulders. "You did get all that you needed, didn't you?" he questions, and your head nods. "Good. This place isn't the same without you, and it'll do it some good to have you back." he purses his lips, because he's serious, but the desire to grin is still so prevalent. "Make sure you go see Garcia, she'll have a conniption and kick both our asses if she finds out you're making rounds, and I didn't tell her." he says, and you grin.

"That's my next stop, I just need to give something to JJ." you say quietly, and Derek's got this know-it-all expression on his face.

"Certainly not that coffee you've placed on my desk?" he asks, and you let out a quiet giggle. "Because once it hits my desk, it's finder's property." he teases as your eyes roll. "You know that." and he's mainly joking, and you appreciate it. It reminds you so much of how things were before, it takes away all the first-day-back jitters you'd been dealing with since you'd woken up and decided you were coming back. Derek always seemed to know exactly what to do.

"You didn't find anything, smart guy." you huff. "But, since I love you so much, why don't you just take this one." and you gift him the one that was originally meant for you. "Taste and be astonished, sir." and he takes the scalding paper cup from your hand, and brings it up to his nose to take in a sniff of the cinnamony beverage. "Just taste it." you huff, and he chuckles, free hand raising in surrender, as he brings it up to his mouth. The first sip like clockwork has him groaning.

You didn't consider yourself a caffeine connoisseur for nothing.

"You are an angel." he compliments, and you glow.

"I aim to please." you retort with a wink, and you look around the bullpen in search of the blonde profiler. "Have you seen Jaige?" you ask as Derek's head nods, taking another indulgent sip of the drink he'd manifested.

"She might be in with Hotch." he shrugs. "I told you things were different without you, little bit." and you resist the urge to frown. "He'll want to know you're back anyway though, right?" he continues, and you're immediately nodding your head in agreement.

"I guess you're right." you hum.

"I'm always right."

"Just shut up and drink your coffee." with that you're grasping the other cup in your hand, ignoring the way Derek's chuckle chases after you. You're not quite sure you're ready to face your boss, and despite how vacant the bullpen remained (and you were nearly forty minutes early), you knew eventually you'd have to face Emily too. You wondered if there was still time to change your mind and go back home. You don't have the time to decide either way, because the second you've climbed the ramp, you're met with the sight of Dave.

"The prodigal daughter's returned." he expresses, hands extended out as if he hoped you would hug him. Your face feels a bit warm, but you're ecstatic as you take the four short steps towards him. You use one hand to loop it around his side, head leaning against his shoulder as he hugs you just as tightly as Derek had. "I'm glad that you're back." he says, and there's this undertone that often lied beneath Rossi's words. "Everyone will be." he seems to finish his thought directly after, and you're hopeful that the same can be said for you.

"I hope so." you admit, and you offer a small smile. "How have you been?" you question politely, not really sure how to go about getting your groove back.

"I've been good." he replies with a content sort of smile. "The bad guys don't ever seem to stop, but I'm good." he answers and you grimace just slightly. "I'm much more interested to know how you are though." he expresses, before he raises an eyebrow. "JJ came back to work with some very interesting news about your future here at the bureau." he says, and he lowers his voice, which you think is indicative of something. Maybe that she hadn't blabbed to the entire team, and instead had only mentioned it to Dave.

"That sounds like JJ." you reply with a huff. "I'm good, I'm back... I think that's what matters most, isn't it?" you question and Dave scrutinizes you for a moment, but nods.

"Yes, I'd agree." he replies, and you relax a bit. "Thirsty?" he looks down at the cup in your hand, and you blanche.

"Uh-" you look towards Hotch's door. "It's for JJ... Derek said he thinks she's in with Hotch." and you nod your head towards it. Dave offers you a contemplative sort of look, you don't understand why. He then gives you a small smile, almost one of understanding.

"Then I won't hold you any longer," he promises, and you relax. "I'm glad you're back, Y/N." Dave finishes, and you beam, feeling a bit better about your decision. He leaves you with that, heading back into his office, as you take the few short steps from his office to Hotch's. It seems like things are working in your favor, the second you're raising an arm to knock, the door is swinging open. You're met with the sight of blue-eyed JJ looking back at you and you gasp.

You instinctively take a small step backwards, as she stares at you in surprise. "Y/N/N?" she questions, and that seems to garner Hotch's attention. The older man's focus being drawn towards the door as well. "What are you doing here?" JJ asks, and your mouth feels incredibly dry. All you can really do is push your hand forward, cup of coffee resting against JJ's chest. She's quick to look down at the beverage that was steadily cooling.

It takes her a second to garner the focus to grasp it in her hand, fingers brushing against yours. "Good morning." you slur out, and then you're motioning to the coffee in her hand. "This is for you." you proceed, and JJ's eyes are back on the cup, perfect brows pushing together. "C-Can we talk?" you shift from one foot to the other, not quite nervous, but definitely apprehensive and unsure. "Just for a second?" you question, and she's opening her mouth to respond.

"Uh, Y/N." it's Hotch's voice that pulls you both from what could have been a moment. "Can I see you for a moment?" he questions, and JJ's bottom lip is disappearing, front teeth just lightly pressing into it as you both realize that you don't have time to unpack the last conversation you'd had. You nod your head slightly, walls as high as the ceiling as the air around the both of you seems to grow frigid. You don't look at her, and she finds herself more confused than ever.

You step into Hotch's office, and let the door click shut behind you. JJ holds the cup of coffee in her hand, and her mind reels. Was this it? Were you here to step down? Were you about to make the choice that would change the unit's trajectory forever? She doesn't want to wait around to find out, instead she's being pulled towards Emily, who's walking through the elevator with Spencer on her heels.

"Oh, hey! Is that for me?" Emily's teasing, hand held out for the coffee that JJ feels the need to tighten her grip on.

"Uh, no." she denies sternly. "This is-" and she looks down at it, takes in the way the side is scribbled over with that nickname you'd created just for her. 'Jaige', there was no heart, no other note that would be indicative of what your motives were. But the 'Jaige' said a lot, maybe you had started to forgive her, maybe her words had actually meant something. Even if she'd poured her heart out, and you'd stared back at her like it meant nothing. She ignores that last part though.

Maybe she does it because she's secretly a masochist.

Maybe she thinks she deserves it.

"Y/N got this for me." she finally says it, and Emily's eyes are shocked. Spencer, who was gearing up to offer a greeting seems to stop in his tracks at the mention of you. "Yeah, she showed up this morning... and she gave me this." JJ explains, her eyes turning towards the shadowy, looming, darkness that seemed to sit outside Hotch's office as the two of you discussed God knows what. "She's here." she breathes this out, and Emily's head is tipped a bit to the side.

"That a good thing, isn't it?" she treads lightly and slowly. Gauging JJ's reactions, she couldn't deny her slight annoyance towards you. JJ hadn't been shy about her guilt, about the feelings she harbored that you had so eloquently ignored. She knew that you were handling things in your own time, but JJ deserved better than that, right? She didn't deserve to be blamed for something like this.

"I guess we'll see." JJ retorts, lips pursing together.

"Y/N is here?" Spencer questions, eyes still wide and bright, clearly unfazed by the inner turmoil JJ was currently dealing with.

"Yeah, she's in with Hotch." JJ replies as Spencer's face seems to glow, a newfound vigor to his look as he smiles slightly. Spencer says something about going to see Penelope before he takes his leave, JJ and Emily suddenly left alone. JJ heaves, hand clenching around the cup for a moment. It's warmth was far from blistering, but it would still be hot enough to wake her up a bit. For some reason though she's not so keen on drinking it anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?" Emily questions and JJ nods her head. "You know you can always tell me if you aren't." the raven haired woman adds a moment later. "I know things between you have been kind of weird, and that's partially my fault-" JJ's immediately holding a hand up to cut Emily's rant short.

"It wasn't your fault." she deadpans. "I chose to keep it a secret. I did it because I understood the importance of discretion, even if she can't." and she's a bit exasperated, mostly just tired of all of it. "I'll be in my office." and then she's taking her leave, grateful for the fact that despite her year away at the pentagon, she was lucky enough to come back to her own space, instead of being delegated to the open space of the bullpen with the rest of the team.

When she reaches her office, she sets the coffee cup down, moving to sit in her chair as she prepared to start her day. She hardly has the chance to get comfortable, because she's quickly getting a notification from her cellphone with a message from Penelope asking her to come to her lair. She huffs, feeling the early beginnings of a migraine forming. This time when she grabs hold of the coffee cup it's to toss it into the trashcan on her way back out the door.

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"Hey." you look up, a bit surprised to be getting approached by Emily. She looks a bit contemplative, but polite, sweet as always. After your long talk with Hotch, you'd been trying your best to get back into the swing of things. There hadn't been a call for a case, so instead everyone was catching up on paperwork. You'd been immediately cornered by Spencer, who was visibly overjoyed to see that you were back at work. He'd even surprised you with a hug that managed to be surprisingly mood lifting. But you hadn't run into Emily.

You also hadn't managed to run into JJ either.

"Oh, hey." you say, and you think back on Hotch's words, about the severity of Emily's case. He'd even tried to school you a bit on the real nature of Doyle's crimes, you supposed that was his way of expressing just how pertinent it had been to keep Emily safe. You tap your nails against your desk. "What can I do for you?" and it's a bit formal, but it's still taking some getting used to, being this close to Emily, who nearly eight months ago you'd believed to be dead.

"Nothing." she replies, "I just wanted to know if I could talk to you?" and she looks a bit hopeful, but you also know Emily was a thinker, you wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if she had premeditated this whole conversation. "It will only take a second." she adds as if recognizing the discomfort on your face.

"Uh, yeah... sure." you agree, albeit reluctantly. You knew full well the unit would not be able to function with you choosing to behave like a brat. You'd made the choice to come back, which meant that moving forward with every member of the team was important. You move to stand up, and Emily's holding a hand out to stop you.

"No, please." she gestures back to your seat. "Sit." she instructs, and you listen, dropping back into your office chair. "Look, we're all real happy that you're back." she begins, and you feel a bit awkward. Mostly because it's all you've been hearing all day, similar sentiments from all the current members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Derek, Hotch, Spencer, Penelope, Rossi, and now Emily. It served to only make you feel more guilty for seemingly throwing the world's biggest tantrum over the last four weeks.

"Thanks, Em." you reply, and she offers you a ghost of a smile.

"I don't know how long it'll take for things to feel normal again for you, and I know this is... absolutely a crazy situation." she pushes her lips to the side as she finishes this, "All I ask is that whenever you're feeling a little too... overwhelmed or it starts becoming too much for you again that you tell us." she propositions. "It's like Garcia always says right? This team works best because we're a family. We trust one another... we've got no other choice, right?" and Emily pauses, seemingly giving you the chance to input with your own opinion.

"Yeah." you agree, and she visibly relaxes.

"JJ's a really great girl by the way." she says, and your eyebrows jump up. "And she cares about you a lot. Too much I think." Emily continues, and you shuffle a bit in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Cut her a bit of slack, okay? Don't punish her too badly for this." she instructs you, and your face ticks, you're unsure if you're going to frown or scowl.

"I wouldn't." you insist, and Emily offers you a look that you know says she doesn't quite believe you. "And I don't really need you trying to give me the protective friend speech." you add a bit unimpressed.

"I'm not trying to lecture you." Emily counters, and you cut your eyes at her.

"So then don't." you huff. "I've got a lot of work to do... so if there's nothing else." and you turn your head back to your files, face screwed up at her. Emily scoffs, letting out one of those huffed laughs that escape from your nose. It makes you look back up at her, eyes narrowed as you offer her a look that said something that was quite frankly not appropriate for work. "What?" you snap.

"You're being unreasonable." she deadpans, and you think that's part of the appeal of your bond with Emily. You'd both always had the liberty to say what you felt to one another, no holds barred. "And you're being unfair. JJ told me what happened, okay? How many times are you gonna make her apologize? And how long are you going to hold it over her head? I know that we hurt you, but you can't use that as your excuse to keep treating us like we're dispensable."

Your jaw drops at the accusation, "I'm not doing that. I'm not the one that keeps trying to push the damn envelope. I left to regroup, and the only reason I came back was because JJ was the only person that had the guts to apologize and to-to be honest with me. I would never use my feelings about the situation as some rouse to get my way, I'm not a child, and I don't appreciate you insinuating that I'm that unprofessional." and you admit, it's getting a little tense.

Derek's eyes haven't left you since Emily walked up, and you know it's not because he's looking for gossip. It's because he knows if the two of you go at it, you could both potentially say something that would hurt each other. But he also supposed it all had to come out eventually, Spencer's seemed to disassociate. His eyes haven't left his book, even as your voice picks up a bit of volume. Lucky kid.

"She told you that she was in love with you, and you shut the door in her face." Emily exclaims, and she's stern, but also certain to lower her voice. JJ wasn't subtle about her feelings for you, but that didn't mean she wanted it as something for the Unit to talk about. Emily watches as your face screws up, clear confusion swirling in your eyes as you shake your head involuntarily.

"Emily, what the hell are you talking about?" you demand, and Emily's face ticks.

"The other day..." she begins, and she's blinking rapidly, her own confusion starting to catch up to her. "When she went to see you?" Emily trails off, and your face pinches up even more, like you had no idea what she was talking about. "When she-" and she trails off.

"No. No she didn't." you deny. "She told me that she loved me, yeah... but JJ always tells me that, and it certainly wasn't like she was confessing secret feelings for me." you deadpan. "She told me why she lied, and she asked me to think about it, and see if I could forgive her. I did, I thought about it, and that's why I showed up today..." you continue, and there's no malice behind your words, it's only that same confusion from before. "Why would you think she was in love with me, Emily?" you press, and your head tips to the side a bit.

"I-" and she's floundering. JJ had made it so clear to her, she'd been so devasted by what happened. How she'd put her heart out there for you, and received absolutely nothing back. But looking at you now, there were no signs of deception, nothing that would prove that you'd willingly ignored a love confession. "I think you should talk to JJ." she retreats, suddenly feeling like she was majorly overstepping. Her annoyance towards your behavior disappears instantly.

This was all a misunderstanding, and you were painfully oblivious.

"Emily?" your confusion triples, watching as the raven haired woman takes off, ignoring the call of your name and serving to put you in a more sour mood. Your foot taps against the ground for a moment, looking over your shoulder at the only person in the unit besides you that could be considered exceptionally close to JJ. "Hey, Spence?" you call, and he's looking up at you instantly. You wave him over, and watch as he puts his bookmark in his book before standing up.

He passes Derek, who's settled back into his own work now that the tensions have declined. When he reaches your desk, you're reaching over to pull another swivel chair up beside you. He takes the hint, sitting down in the seat as you put on your best pleading face, it may have been a bit unethical, but damn it all, if you weren't confused now. "Can I ask you a question?" you plead, and Spencer's new haircut is cute, it fits him, makes him look more like the grown man he is, and not the little kid he'd been dubbed as by the rest of the team.

"You sort of just did." he tells you and you exhale, not out of annoyance though. It's humorous the way you walked right into that one. He's beaming at you, proud of it all, before he clears his throat, using a hand to gesture for you to continue with your real question.

"Do you have any idea why Emily would think that JJ was in love with me?" you question, and the thought is stuck on repeat now that it'd been brought to your attention. You hadn't really taken her words from the other day as some indicator that she held deeper feelings towards you. You watch the way Spencer's eyes widen, before he sets his face, allowing it to rest in a more relaxed expression. He was about to deflect or lie, either way you'd already gotten your answer.

"I think everyone's entitled to their theories and hypotheses..." he offers, and you roll your eyes. "Emily might have noticed something about JJ that led her to that sort of... conclusion." he adds, and your head tips to the side. "But, the only person who'd really know is JJ. Why don't you just ask her?" he offers, and his lips push to the side, almost like he's worried it was the wrong thing to say. Classic Spence.

You lean forward and plant a kiss on his forehead, "Thanks, Spence, you're the best!" you mumble as you stand to your feet, making your way across the bullpen to find JJ's office. The walk is short, and soon enough you find yourself hovering outside of the cracked door. It was a sign that she was sitting inside. You didn't really know how to go about this, on the one hand if it was all a big misunderstanding that'd be a bit embarrassing. On the other hand though, how were you supposed to deal with the fact that your best friend was into you.

For so long the Unit had remained a safe haven from things like crossed boundaries and inappropriate relationships. Of course there were those that toed the line (You still believed that Spencer and Elle had fooled around in the weeks leading up to her departure) and others had crossed the line (Penelope and Derek) but things had never gotten so intense. There were no weddings, dates, children between any of you. You all understood the importance of separation. How could you manage and sustain a relationship like this?

How would things change if one day someone felt that they weren't getting enough? You all had at one point or another prioritized work over your social life, and you all had seen exactly what a life like that led to you. It led to divorce and breakups that only appeared civil, but were really irreconcilable beneath the surface. Still, you push that all to the back of your mind, hand reaching forward to knock on the door. You take a small step backwards, giving her a chance to answer.

"Come in." she calls, and you take a deep breath before you push the door open. JJ's eyes widen the second she takes you in, and you wonder whether or not this was your smartest idea. "Oh..." and she immediately stands up from her chair. "Hey, is everything okay?" she asks, and you're finally stepping inside, shutting the door behind you. It closes with a soft click, and the air suddenly feels charged.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Of course." she replies, "What's up?"

You think about starting off with a bit of small talk, hoping to ease into the obvious hard part with a bit of a buffer between you. You decide against it at the last minute. "The other night when you told me that you've... loved me for all seven years we've been friends, what exactly did you mean by that?" you pry, and JJ's face is immediately showing off her shock. Her eyes are wide, mouth dropping just slightly as she gaped at you.

"W-What?" she stammers, and you offer her a blank stare.

"It wasn't a difficult question, Jaige." you tell her and she doesn't really know how to respond. "Emily said-" and JJ's eyes are rolling, only because she couldn't believe that Emily had decided to confront you and turn it into an entire ordeal. You weren't obligated to reciprocate her feelings, and she really didn't need anyone fighting any battles for her, especially when she had already begun to make peace with moving on.

"Emily shouldn't have said anything to you, okay? After I left your house, I'll admit I was upset... but-" and she exhales, "You don't have to overcompensate for not feeling the same way by... bringing me coffee, and-and trying to relive that confession, okay? It's only going to hurt the both of us." she tells you sternly, and now it's your turn to be shocked. "It was really stupid of me to even mention it to you then, so we can just forget about it, okay? I'm happy you're back, but if that's it-" and then she's motioning to the door.

"JJ, I didn't know that you were confessing to me." you tell her. "Do you actually think I would've shut the door in your face if I did?"

"You know what? I actually don't know. I mean, the last few weeks we haven't exactly been seeing eye-to-eye." she reminds you, "And it's not like anytime during that conversation you ever gave me anything to work with." she reminds you. "You just did what you always do." she proceeds, and you scoff, growing offended.

"What I always do?" you hiss.

"Yeah, what you always do." she reiterates. "That thing you do where you pretend that nothing matters at all. Like you're just this impenetrable wall that feels nothing, isn't bothered, doesn't care." she says, and you're surprised to know that she thinks this about you. "Y/N, you're a profiler, isn't the whole point that you see the things other people don't?" she presses, "I mean, I don't know how much more clearer I can get. I told you that you were my priority, that doesn't exactly scream you're my best friend." JJ crosses her arms.

"We're not supposed to profile each other." you counter, and you think in a way this is you deflecting again. You didn't know what to say, you didn't even really know how you felt. She shoots you a dry look.

"Okay, Y/N, maybe we aren't." she says with a deep breath, and a tired expression on her face. "I don't really know what you want from me..." and you're taking a small step backwards,

"I'm just trying to understand-" and she's cutting you off instantly.

"There's nothing for you to understand." she snips, and your attitude towards JJ is back, your face screwed up.

"Okay then." you snap, and JJ seems to notice her mistake, her eyes instantly softening, but you both know that it's much too late now.

"Thank you for the coffee..." she gripes, almost like it hurts to say the words, "But I think maybe it's best if just for a little while, we give each other some space." she looks down at the ground. You blink, and you think you might burst into tears, your face and neck scalding hot.

"Is that what you want?" you question, and you ball your hands up into fists at your side.

"Yeah, it is." she agrees, though she doesn't mean it.

"Fine." and before she can really wrap her head around this decision, you're storming out of her office, allowing the door to slam shut behind you. It's childish really, but you can't find it in you to care. The excitement you'd felt that morning at the thought of reconciling with your friend was long gone. All that was left was the knowledge that JJ was supposedly in love with you, and the fact that you liked her a lot more before you found out.

[l44serbeam]

hello, can i request college! ellie simping over oblivious reader 💝

eee i lov writing simp ellie shes such a munch

— ALL FOR YOU 𖤐 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings — some good ol’ homosexual pining and loser lesbian syndrome, cursing, drinking, smoking, some fratty guy being creepy, sooome jealousy

For the past few years, Ellies followed y/n around like a lost puppy, accompanying her to all the parties, events, and get togethers. The two are attached at the hip, but lately somethings been eating away at Ellie and she just cant seem to let it go.

“Ellie. Im not gonna fucking smell it.” Y/n laughed as she swatted away the jar Ellie aggressively shoved at her face.

“C’mon y/n. If i had to suffer so do you.” Ellie menacingly cackled, her hand following y/ns nose as she attempted to dodge the scent of the four month old jar of moldy tomato sauce Ellie had grabbed from the fridge and instinctively took a strong whiff of.

“You’re distracting me.” Y/n whined as Ellie threw the jar in the trash and plopped onto the seat next to y/ns on her 2 chair dining table.

“You’ve been doing that shit since you got here this morning. Im feeling quite neglected and unwanted in my own home.” Ellie huffed, crossing her arms.

“I have two pages left, fifteen minutes at most. Then we can do whatever, I swear.” Y/n finalized, biting her lip as she scribbled on the bright yellow paper.

Ellie watched her work, eyebrows permanently scrunched and lips a gelatinous red from her chewing. The way she shifted uncomfortably in the seat as her lower back ached and would quietly huff whenever a question got too complicated.

In the past few years of their friendship, this had become a sort of ritual. Y/n would show up at Ellies house a good 15 minutes within Ellie waking up and shed study on Ellies table and Ellie would sit with her and watch her.

Well the last part of the ritual Ellie didn’t exactly want y/n to know about, but she couldn’t help herself. How could she not stare when she looked so sanctified, in her barest form, wearing her most comfortable clothes and her hair still not tamed from slumber.

It almost felt domestic. At least thats what Ellie thought. Shed order breakfast and they’d eat together is silence as y/n played out loud lecture recordings as they ate to not fall behind and Ellie would occasionally pretend to listen, but end up distracting y/n and laughing throughout, making her have to rewind and get back into the lesson.

Pretty much everything about y/ns and Ellies relationship was domestic, the two constantly together even at the most uneventful and peaceful moments.

They’d met the summer after their senior year, both attending a party near their new campus a month before the start of their college years.

In all honesty, when Dina had first introduced y/n to Ellie and they first exchanged greetings, shed set her mind on sparking a casual hook up and then forgetting about her, but how could she do that when after an hour the two were sat on the curb outside the party, nursing a joint and laughing maniacally at each others jokes with the haze of the alcohol. How could she just fuck y/n and leave when in the two hours they were sat on that curbside, she rambled endlessly about her personal ideologies and opinions, painfully pretty, passionate and giggly

That was one of the first things Ellie picked up within their conversations. Y/n was surprisingly intelligent and beautifully put together, made up of thoughts and theories that constantly molded her mind, making her practically impossible to figure out. She was complicated and beautiful and Ellie couldn’t help but feel a sense of adoration paint her chest.

The next years to come, Ellie and y/n were attached at the hip. They went to parties together, left together, ate together, studied together. All of it. And through all of it all Ellie could feel was warmth wrapping around her and a lightheaded buzz of euphoria. But even then, Ellie was convinced all y/n experienced was oblivion.

It wasn’t like Ellie hadn’t thrown hints or made it obvious that she yearned of her, but y/n had a tendency to not realize the things that were right in front of her. So, Ellie decided it’d be for the best if she just waits for her feelings to subside and not let anything change.

Ellie felt the buzz of her phone on her lap and flipped it over to see a message from Dina.

ELLIEEEEE ik ur with y/n ask her if u two r coming to jesses tonite

first of all how do you KNOW im with y/n 🤨🤨 and second.. she said yes

you two are practically a married couple ofc ur with her

Ellie chuckled at Dinas statement, making her cheeks redden in the slightest (not that shed ever admit it).

be at jesses at 7 or you will face ur doom mwahahahhahaha

Ellie lifts up her phone and faces the screen towards y/n. “I think she lost it.” Ellie laughed.

Y/n laughed at the message and Ellies comment. “Noo, she lost it a good four years ago.”

Y/n suddenly slammed her textbook shut and threw her pencil onto the table. “Im DONE.”

“Jesus, finally.” Ellie said. “Im gonna get ready i can drive you to your place so you can get ready and we can go kill time till 7 then off to Jesses.”

“Alrighty ill pack my shit up.”

“Look its my favorites!” Dina yelled out as she practically launched from Jesses couch and ran over to the two, pulling them both into a hug. The scent of alcohol and weed radiated from her, exciting y/n for the night.

Getting drunk and high with her best friends was one of y/n’s favorite things to do, all of them losing any sense of dignity or embarrassment and just letting loose with one another.

Y/n spotted a few unfamiliar faces littering Jesses apartment, red cups at hand and smoke clouding the home.

“Lets go get you started off. Im feeling quite lonely at my level.” Dina laughed, grabbing y/ns hand. Y/n looked back at Ellie and stretched out her purse to her which she responded to with a nod, grabbing the purse and beginning to back away towards Jesse.

“Cant believe you didnt wait for me.” Y/n said in a dramatically offended manner. Dina rolled her eyes, pulling y/n forward.

“I love you y/n, but its not my fault if you took forty thousand years to get here.”

When they reached the kitchen, a counter had a display of multiple bottles and differently tinted alcohol bottles and chasers.

Dina grabbed a bottle of tequila and two cups, pouring a double shot in each and handing one to y/n.

“God this shit can kill a grown man.” Y/n groaned at the intense scent of the alcohol wafting from the cup.

“C’mon.” Dina said, tapping her cup at the table and bringing it up to her lips, y/n following suit. The two gulped down the shots, both immediately reaching for the bottle of sprite as a chaser.

“Oh jesus.” Y/n coughed, her face sourly contorted. She shook her head quickly to shake it off and recover.

She grabbed two cups and poured some hawaiian punch that was on the counter, pouring some of the tequila on top. She made sure to pour one of them heavy handedly with the alcohol. “Im gonna go take Ellie a drink.” She told Dina.

“Ill be waiting for you on the dance floor.” She excitedly yelled before rushing off to the area next to the kitchen where the majority of swaying bodies danced to the loud music.

“Youre actually an idiot Williams. Like not in a joking haha funny way but you are genuinely dumb.” Jesse laughed, Ellie rolling her eyes and slumping back on the couch, her legs spread widely and arms defensively folded in front of her chest.

“Shut up Jesse. The only reason you and Dina got together was cause you don’t know how to take a hint and started talking about her to me on facetime and you didn’t know she was next to me. Not because of your unwieldy intelligence.” Ellie retorted, Jesse playfully punching her shoulder.

“You’re just mad dude. I think you’d loosen up if you juts fucking told her how you felt. You’re getting quite tense.” He finalized with a whisper as they watched a cheerful y/n making her way over with two cups in hand.

“Hello there.” Y/n said, stretching out the O as she plopped down on Ellies lap, handing her the drink that had more alcohol.

“Greetings.” Ellie said slickly, grabbing the drink from y/ns hand and smirking at her pinkened cheeks and already loose demeanor. She found her hand instinctively flattening on the lower part of y/ns back and bringing the drink to her lips, eyes squinting at the burning flavor masked by the slightest bit of fruit.

Jesse eyed the two and laughed to himself, shaking his head. Ellie looked at him and gave him a indicative look that read shut the fuck up.

“Where’d Dina go?” He asked y/n, taking in Ellies look.

“She went to go dance. Im gonna join her in a sec.” She responded, taking a swing out her cup.

Ellie reached into the pocket of her loose black denim button up and pulled out a tin. Y/n immediately recognized it as the tin Ellie kept her joints in. According to her it was the perfect place to keep them cause they stayed fresh longer.

She brought the joint up and pinched it between her lips, then searching through her pockets but not seeming to find what she was looking for.

“Got a light?” She asked through lips.

Y/n nodded and reaching to her purse that was in between Ellies thigh and the corner of the couch. She pulled out the lighter and brought it to the tip of the joint at Ellies lips, Ellie silently taken aback when she expected her to have just handed it to her.

When the smoke bloomed from the lit end, Ellie took a lengthy drag that further lit the cherry.

She grabbed it from her lips and handed the joint to y/n, letting her take as much she wanted before getting up and going to Dina.

Ellie watched y/n under the dimly lit lamp next to them on the night table, being one of the few sources of light. She looked peaceful, looking ahead at the crowd of people quietly with a hidden grin and swaying to the music. Her lips delicately wrapping around the joint and the lip gloss she insisted on applying right as Ellie parked her car and making her wait glimmered against the light.

Suddenly, y/n turned her head and her eyes caught Ellies, catching her in her tracks. She separated the joint from her lips and smiled.

“What?” She laughed at Ellies stagnant gaze.

Ellie laughed lightly. “Nothing. You just look happy.” She dismissed.

“Of course i am. Fucking studying shits been kicking my ass, i was dying to get out.” She said, not reading further into the look on Ellies eye as she watched her.

“Alright, im goin’ in.” Y/n said, patting Ellies leg and handing her the joint as she stood up.

“Have fun.” Ellie said, leaning back again and fixing herself on the couch.

Jesse leaned back once again, his lousy conversation with a guy who stopped by them as Ellie and y/n spoke ending, but that didnt mean her didnt hear the entire conversation between her and y/n.

He looked at her and laughed. “Youre a fool Ellie. A fool.” He said, Ellie groaning and planting her hands on her face, trying to cover the slight laughter that escaped.

“Y/N!” Dina called, seeing y/n search for her closer to the edge of the crowd. At her name, y/n beamed and pushed towards her. “Thought you were never gonna make it!” She yelled in y/ns ear slightly louder than necessary.

“Ellie sparked up.” Y/n said back.

“So you weren’t dancing with me cause your were blue balling Ellie?” Dina laughed and said in a sarcastically offended manner.

“Shut the fuck up.” Y/n said firmly, but playfulness playing at her tone.

“Oh how you torture that poor girl.” Dina laughed.

“Stop i do not.” Y/n huffed. “We’re best friends Dina. She doesn’t see me like that.”

Dina sighed and twirled around to the music. “You’re so oblivious.”

“She would never.” Y/n stated in a stonier tone.

“But would you.” Dina asked sharply, raising her eyebrows knowingly and crossing her arms.

Y/n rolled her eyes but remained silent.

“Whatever dummy. Forget about that.” Dina said, grabbing y/ns hands and urging her to start dancing with her which she slowly caved into, losing herself in the beat of the music.

The two jumped and swayed, only stopping to gulp down a portion of the drinks in their hand and keep dancing.

Y/n felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist, the persons body pressing into her back and the scent of heavy liquor and pungent cologne invading her senses.

When Dine turned towards y/n and saw the man behind her, her face contorted as she made confused eye contact with y/n.

Y/n turned around and gently put her hands on the mans chest, softly pushing him away as she backed up.

“Sorry im not interested.” She yelled over the music.

“What were just dancing!” The man said back, still stepping towards her. “Pretty thing like you shouldn’t be dancing alone baby.”

Y/ns and Dinas faces both painted with disgust, y/ns push becoming slightly harder.

“Thank you, but no thank you.” She insisted, this time turning around the push out the crowd.

Behind her the man followed, keeping track of her through the people and still trailing behind her as she walked toward the kitchen.

“C’mon. Whats your deal.” He said as she stopped at the drink counter and started making another drink, not paying attention to the guy. “Don’t be a bitch.” He said, grabbing the back of her hips and pressing against her backside. She quickly grabbed his wrist and turned to aggressively push him off and in all probability, probably punch him square in the face, but before she could do that a hand gripped his shoulder and he was harshly pulled off of her, stumbling back.

“Shes obviously not into you dude. Fucks wrong with you.” Ellie said, getting frighteningly close to his face, chests touching. Ellie was practically the same height as him if not taller, by this time her jacket off, revealing her built arms from her black wife beater.

It seemed like a fight he did not want to pick, putting his hands up and backing away with a shit eating grin. “Alright, definitely mot worth it.” He said, walking away and out of the kitchen. The few people that lingered around there looked at y/n, one or two asking if she was ok.

When everyone cleared out and went about with their business Ellie looked at y/n, her hand brushing her forearm. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah i am, just got me a little nervous.” Y/n wearily laughed as she spoke, turning back around and finishing pouring the alcohol in her drink with shaky hands.

“Careful there.” Ellie said, her hand pulling down the end of the bottle for y/n to stop pouring seeing how much she was putting in.

“Im good Ellie.” Y/n said in a firmer manner, looking back at her.

“I know.” She softly responded. “Cmon, lets go to the couch.”

“Im gonna use the bathroom really quickly then ill meet you there.”

“Need me to wait for you?”

“No its ok, go make sure no one takes your spot.”

Ellie nodded and walked back to the couch, Y/n finding the vacant bathroom and locking herself in it. She set down her cup on the counter and turned on the water, splashing some of it on her neck to combat the heat that seated to be radiating from her body. She looked in the mirror and took a breath, recomposing herself.

“Alright.” She said to herself, swinging open the door again and walking towards the sofa. When the made it into the living room, the first thing she spotted was Ellie in her spot at the couch, and next to her a pretty blonde girl with big round eyes looking up at her, a smile on her lips.

Y/n stopped in her place and watched as Ellie seemed to explain something to her, her hands moving and making signals and the girl eagerly nodding along.

Something shot up y/ns spine in that moment and she considered just walking up to them and taking a seat on her usual spot (that being Ellies lap) but her words to Dina rung.

She just sees me as a best friend. She sees her as someone to be with.

With that thought ringing through her head she turned towards the balcony door besides her, stepping out and being hit by the cool breeze.

A man ashed his cigarette and y/n asked if she could bum one off of him, to which he said yes and gave her one then exited, leaving her alone.

She lit the cigarette with a random lighter from the chair and drew from it.

Her drunkenness had taken a turn with the sighting, going from a jolly and joyful to sad and sulky. Its not like she felt like Ellie had any obligations to her or the other way around, but that didn’t stop y/n from feeling a sharp tiny stab to her gut.

There was a knock on the glass door of the balcony causing y/n to whip back around. A tall girl stood at the glass waving at y/n almost as a warning that she was coming out.

“Hey sorry to bother you. Mind if i smoke out here?” The girl asked.

“No not at all.” Y/n said turning back towards the view and taking another hit of the cigarette.

“I know you.” That girl said in a recognizing tone as she pulled out her own cigarette. “We have Microbiology iolgoy together. You sit next to, whats her name?”

Y/n laughed lightly. “Yeah, a friend of mine, Leah.”

“Yeaah.” The mystery girl responded.

“Whats your name?” Y/n asked but before the girl could answer, the glass sliding door of the balcony swung open.

“Y/n i was fucking worried about you.” Ellie said sharply, eyeing the girl that stood besides her hastily. “Sorry im gonna have to take her.” She said as she grabbed her arm and began pulling her, not a drop of genuine apology in her voice.

“Ellie what the hell. She was nice i was having a conversa-”

“You had me scared y/n. I mean what the fuck you said you would be there i a minute and almost twenty go by and no ones seen you. You don’t even know her and you were practically on her.” She said, not making eye contact. Y/n shook her arm out of Ellies grasp, making both of them stop in the empty hallway.

“And you didn’t know that girl but that didn’t stop you from go for her. You can have flirt with people and get with girls but i cant?”

“What girl y/n? What are you talking about?” Ellie questioned harshly.

“From the couch Ellie. You were going for her and i didnt want to barge in. You were obviously into her.”

Ellie scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. At the realization the tense muscles of her face softened, but were still written with gentle confusion. “The blonde on? I wasnt- why would i be into her?”

“Because shes pretty and obviously ready to suck you off right then and there so what else.” Y/n shrugged, annoyance building onto her tone.

A chill ran up her spine at the sight of how Ellies face shifted at her statement.

“You’re really are fucking obvious are you?” Ellie huffed.

“About what Ellie?” Y/n desperately asked, Ellies lips pressing together.

“Im not doing this here. Grab your shit, im dropping you off at your house.” She said demandingly, y/n cursing at herself when her legs didn’t even waiver a second before speeding towards her purse to collect her things.

The car rang with the low tones of the gentle rock music that played from Ellies playlist. Other from that and the sound of the road rolling against the tires there was no noise within the car.

Y/n sat looking out the window, occasionally looking over at Ellies tense figure besides her.

Question hung heavily in the air and unspoken words riddled y/ns tongue. In the past 10 minutes of the car ride, y/n had repeatedly gained the confidence to strike up conversation but allowing her anxiousness eat away at it and retaliate.

Ellie suddenly turned and parked in front of the entrance to the apartment building which y/n lived at. She put the car in park and turned towards y/n her hand placing itself onto the back of y/ns seat.

“You really dont see it y/n?” Ellie said, speaking her first words in the entire car ride.

“See what Ellie? You keep talking about this it like i know what thats supposed to be.”

“It is whats right in front of you y/n! Me! The way i feel about you and the way you make me feel. I’ve tried so many times y/n i mean so many times to show you or hint to you that i like you more than what we say we are to each other.”

Y/n couldnt help but let her jaw slack, her lips parting open in surprise at Ellies words. Ellie hissed and rubbed her hands against her face, groaning.

“God.” She hissed. “Look y/n. I dont want to lose you. I dont care how youre in my life but i need you in it. If you dont feel the same way we can go on and forget tonight happened.”

Ellies shoulder slumped at the sound of giggles escaping y/ns throats, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“I dont think laughing is what i was expecting.” Ellie said.

“No no no, im not laughing at you. Im laughing cause Dina was fucking right.”

That response didnt exactly ease Ellies nerves, almost taking offense to it. These feelings were quickly eased at the sight of y/n spring out of her seat and the feeling of her lips searing into hers.

A wave of euphoria rushed through Ellie at the feeling of y/n. On her. Her hands on Ellies neck and on her knees as she bent over the arm rest.

It was as if the kiss almost spoke hundreds of words of exchange that neither of them had said. Their lips moved against one another, clutching onto a string of reality.

The two separated to breath desperate breaths of air, their foreheads against one another and noses brushing against each other.

“I think i let how much i like you and how much i dont want to ruin us not let me see the obvious.” Y/n said barely above a whisper, Ellies lip curling into a smile.

“You’re so stubborn.” Ellie responded, leaning back and brushing her thumb across the apple of y/ns cheek. “Its almost three im the morning and you have class at nine, get yourself to bed.” She said even though those very words caused her so much dread.

Y/n groaned but couldnt contain the sheepish smile on her face. “Alright. Ill be at your place by 11. That ok?” Y/n asked almost nervously.

Ellie leaned forward and kissed y/ns lips once again. “Whats expecting anything different. Im not done with you.” She smirked, making y/n blush.

“Ill see you tomorrow.” Y/n said as she opened the car door.

“Text me when your upstairs.” Ellie said before y/n closed the door, her response being a thumbs up and happy wave before running into the lobby.

Ellie drove all the way back to her apartment with a cheesy smile on her face and her hands excitedly tapping the steering wheel to the drumming of the music she played lauder than before.

Just wait till Jesse hears this.

a/n — heres a lil fic for you guys just to keep u fed <<3 love yall and i hope your having a wonderful pride month 😽😽

[broooooo]

Nock nock nock

____

It was like any other day...

I am alex, a guy who doesn't exactly have a firm grip on things, I live mostly locked up in my apartment, and outside of shopping, I don't do much

I was resting on my couch when I heard it..

*Nock nock nock*

Someone... Something was at my door

I've heard it countless times prior and always ignored it.

I learnt from others that to get a nock at the door is a chance to change everything.

Those drones.. that have taken over the population, I've seen it happen to friends and family, though they very much enjoyed the transformation and do technically retain their normal selves, I still found it strange , yet fascinating.

Some friends I've known used to wish to be like others, sexually active and hot, when they got the chance , they jumped at the chance and in the end I'd never seen them happier, stroking their large latex cladded cocks... A leaky fountain of pre and cum..

I admit I've been curious..

I used to feel extremely turned on to sexual things once, but it's died for me, I can't feel much or anything, I can't stay hard either, it's quite saddening.

If I opened that door ... Hmmmm

*I contemplated for what felt like forever before going with my gut and the adrenaline.

And opened the door...

My eyes met the black rubber figure

I'd have seen him before but not this close up

He is drone Aaron, my neighbour. It's quite jarring too remember his past, he was so sad and lonely, but now. .. *my eyes sparkled with envy*

I stood up straight

"h - hello.."

Aaron's black head slowly unravels to reveal his normal face, he bends forward and smiles, with one hand on his rubber cock

I stare at his deep blue eyes as I feel my own cock try to stir within my pants.

"well well.. someone's interested. Aren't they? Wink" Aaron says softly

I- well .... *Blushes* I don't think I've seen a drone up close before...

Aaron chuckles and smiles " I know how you feel, I felt the same way once..now's your chance to look even closer.. would you like that?"

I- well... Idk... I don't know what it feels like to be aroused anymore... *Sad face*

Aaron looks down and puts his hand on my shoulder

"don't worry.. I got your back, why don't we chat inside?"

Oh .. yes. Sure

I invite him in and close my door.

Aaron sits on my couch, I go over to sit down next to him..

*awkward silence*

Aaron speaks up

"do you like what you see?"

You mean dronehood right?

Welll .. it does seem.. fun

*awkward laughing*

And you're.. um.. *pointing to Aaron's leaking rubber clad dick*

Looks fun too? Yeah...

Aaron chuckles * nervous are we? I understand... Here. You can play with it if you want* smiles

'im shocked and surprised but excited?'

Aaron comes closer next to me and guides me hand onto his dick, it's veiny, soft and rock hard, slick from the leaking.... It sends shivers through me as I feel the sensation of latex and pre on my hands.

*how does that feel? Aaron smiles*

I- um... Idk ... It feels... Amazing... Ehehe chuckles

Aaron also laughs back... "I can tell. Your dick seems to be reacting well."

I look down to my surprise.. my dick is hardening? But.. but now..

It's normal.. don't worry*Aaron squeezes my bulge sending further waves through me. I'm almost zoning out at how relaxed and happy I am.

"Tell me .. are you ready?"

I turn to Aaron and nod..

Yeah... I want this.. I haven't been able to feel like this in so long... I want it . I need it.. I want to feel like this all the time ..

Please. Convert me.. 'I release my dick from my pants and it becomes fully hard'

Aaron smiles... *That's all I needed to hear..*

___

The next few hours? Was a blur, from the moment I said yes. Aaron led me to my bed and started to caress me, breathe and speak softly.. as he lubed up my dick and my body with his pre and working on my dick, rubbing and edging,

My mind was horny. I was horny. For the first time in forever... I was so happy..

Aaron slid on some leather boots , heavy and thick on my feet, as he worked on spreading latex on me.

It was slow and steady, warm and comfy. The latex hugged my muscled body and slowly took over my mind... My dick was harder than rock and throbbing from arousal.

Aaron then slides his drone dick into my ass . Converting me from within sending the latex nanites to create a latex body.. a new drone to the hive

I was in a state of hypnotic bliss , ready to cum, ready to obey, Aaron was fucking me , and I was being converted.

Then it happened. Aaron came , cummed a giant load after load of latex drone cum into my ass, just as I began to cum

I came for the first time in forever. My mind went along with it. I was still Me, but I was obedient and horny, just like I wanted...

Idk how long I came for.. it felt like forever had passed.

According to Aaron my dick was Cumming and leaking cum for hours. A record to say the least. He was impressed. When I came too, I slowly woke up, with a new body. Latex, and muscled , my feet were heavy leather boots and I had straps and belts hugging my shiny body

Aaron spoke up* enjoyed your self buddy? Or should I say.. drone 8976?*

I stared at my hard leaking rubber dick..

Yes..... It was amazing... Thank you... So much *tears falling* I must cum and obey.. I am drone 8976 , online and ready for action.

Aaron smiles* hehe, I hope we can play together again one day. it was fun.. now .. let's go shall we?* He extends his hand and picks me up

We leave my apartment on a new adventure, to nock at the doors of someone who may be in need ..

I was a drone... I couldn't be happier

Will you open the door if you hear it?

______

Hehe hi guys

Long time no story!

Ik it's been awhile and I really wanted to write something, I hope you guys like this one. Idk how I feel about it.. but I think it will do!

AAAAAAA

[3gremlins]

feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)

the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.

my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).

I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)

*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.

**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".

[isdalinarhot]

im planning to go on t soon, and i wanted to know if theres anything you would tell someone about to go on? unexpected side effects, cool things that happened, general timeframe, etc? its cool if no

-orgasms change day 1 brother. like that’s the first real change is that all of a sudden you cum different. and your sex drive goes up immediately too if you’re someone who isn’t ace in the way where you don’t have a libido either. Not a distracting amount but you sure do go man pop culture sure was right about the general horniness of teenage boys

-bottom growth won’t be noticeable until like 3-4 months in, but it’ll start hurting within like a week. Just power through it and wear your most comfy undies. Now that I’m. Jesus 7 months on T? I get less growing pains in that regard but in the beginning it’s mildly uncomfortable but also kinda cool

-if you have penetrative vaginal sex get lube asap because while you still do get somewhat wet, it won’t be nearly as much as you did pre T. Better safe than sorry.

-YOU WILL SWEAT SO MUCH. like i don’t think anyone prepared me for how sweaty i was gonna be always. A neutral thing but yeah

-the second big thing I noticed was I was better at lifting heavy objects about a month in. Like I am a wimp weakling who doesn’t work out so I don’t have dramatic increases in strength but I used to fight for my life to carry a bag of groceries and a gallon of milk in from a grocery run and now it’s no problem. It used to take me 2 arms to carry my 2 liters of vodka home from the liquor store and I’d be dying by the time I got home but now I can hoist it under one arm no problem and don’t start getting sore until I’ve been walking for like half a mile. It’s super cool!

-you will smell worse like objectively due to boysmell being stronger than girlsmell and also all the sweat so I recommend showering about twice as often as you did pre T. So like if you only needed to shower once every 2 days now do it daily, if you needed a shower once a day do it twice. Don’t wash your hair more than usual though!

-some people get hungrier on T, I personally didn’t. Keep some beef jerky (or some mixed nuts if you don’t eat meat) on hand just in case because T hunger is very much a Protien Hunger (or so I’ve heard).

-my voice started changing about 5 and a half months in, and it’s gonna be pretty easy to deal with when talking, but singing will be kind of a landmine while you try to navigate your new range. I’ll let you know when that evens out 🥲

-body hair is more of a genetic thing, and is different for everyone. My friend got the beginnings of a mustache 2 months on T, I have 0 facial hair but darker hair on my forearms and belly 7 months in. Be patient.

-like, the day before you start T it is in your vested interest to take a neutral nude both of your general body and of your junk just so that when you’re like “am I going crazy or has my fat redistributed/has my bottom growth been noticeable” you don’t have to fight for your life to dig through ancient nudes/hole pics for some measure of comparison. Speaking based on personal regret here

-you may not have the Ideal Body Type you daydreamed of having as a repressed teen at the swimming pool, because this shit is unpredictable, but you will definitely have a body that feels more like home

-your skin will get rougher and that might be sensory hell if you have sensitive skin BUT it lets you open jars and bottle caps easier. Enjoy your new superpower (guy they hand their drink to so you can open it)

-mood wise you won’t become an aggro monster, but you will have PMS style irritation easier. If you take antidepressants those work wonders on managing that, so DONT SKIP YOUR MEDS if you take them (you already shouldn’t, but now you have extra incentive!)

-be aware that if you drink (and possibly with other drugs too, but I don’t do any of those regularly), your tolerance will likely go up a little. Make informed choices on how you go forward with this — the health teacher approved choice is that you just resign yourself to being a little less drunk now, but I’d be the worlds biggest hypocrite if I recommended that with a straight face.

-you’ll cry less, but you won’t feel less sad — it’s more like not crying as much or getting ~emotional~ about stupid stuff. I still tear up during climactic emotionally moving moments during books and movies, just not when sharks are eating the POV crab in a nature documentary

-the first rule of transsexuality is be yourself and have fun — there’s no shame in realizing that it isn’t for you after giving it a shot, but if you never try you’ll live your whole life wondering. Most changes that happen within the first month or two are reversible, so you have some grace period for figuring yourself out

Very excited for you! Good luck and congrats!

[sirshrimpysstuff]

let the light in

chapter one: fake first date

a series of friday nights documenting the highlights of james and regulus’ relationship.

lowercase intended!

“sirius? i got stood up. could you pick me up?”

“oh! james”

“yeah i’ll send you my location right now”

regulus hated dates. well not really, regulus just really really hated this one. regulus had always been a hopeless romantic, falling for every guy who looked his way. it was embarrassing really, it went against his whole reputation as a stoic “i don’t give a shit” type attitude he had going on. however, that was all regulus did. give a shit.

so, when regulus decides to go out with some douchebag from the law firm he worked at he though that he might have found ‘the one.’ not really, seeing as they had spoken for the first time the wednesday before the date. you know what they say: never waste a friday night on a first date. well ‘they’ wasn’t just any random person.

it was james.

it had become a pattern of sorts, that every other friday night, regulus would have a date. also every other friday night it would end badly some way or the other. he would call sirius to come pick him up (because he still can’t afford a car or a cab on an interns salary) and james would answer the call every time. so instead of sirius coming to wherever he was, it was james.

it’s one thing to make your brother that you have had quite a … rocky relationship in the past to run around town every so often after your relationship was fixed. it was a complete other thing to make your brother’s best friend to run around town every so often.

the same brother’s best friend who regulus had a very small crush on during their school days.

the same brother’s best friend who regulus used to gush to sirius about. constantly asking stupid questions like what james’ favorite color was, or who his crush was (the answer was always lily). regulus used to be obsessed with james.

key word: used to

okay so, regulus is lying to himself and he knows that. after all, he does go out on so many dates to try and get over the fact that he has had a crush on his brother’s best friend since he was 14.

then, james’ beat up red truck pulled up in the parking lot. finally standing up from his spot outside the restaurant, regulus grabbed his coat and walked up to the car wordlessly.

“regulus! you good?”

“yeah james i’m fine, just the usual you know”

“well, you always know what i tell you”

“never waste a friday night on a first date” they both said in unison.

“yeah yeah i know”

“so then why did you?” james asked. he was always so kind.

“ugh this is embarrassing to tell you, but i just really want to find the one you know? to prove that i am worthy of love, or capeable of it for that matter” regulus chuckled softly.

the warmth of the car was giving regulus a soft embrace. he always felt at home around james. it was jarring really, how he was always so cold to others, his words always dripping with venom, but never with james. with james, regulus was sweet.

“no regulus you got it all wrong!” james said running his hand through his unruly hair (it only made it worse), “its admirable that you think that way, and honestly me too!”

regulus felt his vision going burry, tears welling up in his eyes. oh why did he have to cry in front of james. sirius would probably laugh at him, he always was a crybaby.

“hey hey hey, regulus, regulus you are capable of love, and you are worthy of being loved.” james whispered, his brown eyes making contact with regulus’ grey ones.

“lets cheer you up yeah? lets go get ice cream, and have a grand old time!”

“stop it. im not some charity case where you can just drive around to appease your stupid savior complex.” regulus was retreating back into his shell. he had become too open, too comfortable, too vulnerable; he hated it.

“thats not what i’m doing at all regulus. i um, oh this is really embarrassing to say-”

“say it already, you made me tell you my most embarrassing secret ever”

“yeah okay… regulus i like you.”

regulus eyes widened.

“i like you so much that i can’t breathe, oh my god i have had a crush on you since i was 16”

regulus only nodded in response.

“regulus? please say something? you’re freaking me out, and i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable because i can just drive you straight home and we can never talk about this again i’m sorry i should have never-”

“james”

james’ finger began tapping faster and faster on the steering wheel of his car.

“i like you too, you big idiot”

“so how about that ice cream?” james asked, sheepishly.

“yes james we can go get ice cream” regulus replied, slowly.

so, they went to the nearest tescos. got two pints of ice cream and ate it inside the warmth of the red truck sitting in the parking lot.

“james,” regulus giggled, already laughing at something he said earlier, “you’re gonna have to take me out on a real first date at some point”

“isn’t driving 30 minutes to pick you up from a failed date not the most romantic thing ever?” james quipped.

“james. ask me out, would you?”

“of course,” and with a snort james began,“ regulus arcturus black, would you accept my formal invite on a date next friday at 7:30?”

regulus was sure his face was as bright as a tomato. “yes james, i would love to”

bzzt! bzzt! bzzt!

“oh that must be sirius”

regulus picked up his phone and answered the call.

“hi sirius”

“no the date didn’t go very well”

“he stood me up”

“yes i’m with james”

“yes i’m coming home”

“no he is not fucking me in the back of his truck sirius oh my god”

“bye”

as if regulus could possibly be more embarrassed, his face flushed a few shades deeper as james laughed and said, “in the back of the truck?”

“shut your face”

“why don’t you shut my face for me” james replied with a wink.

“oh my god that was a terrible attempt at flirting, but you’re cute so”

regulus leaned over the gear that was dividing the two front seats of the car, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

then, as if regulus and james were two magnets that could not stand to be away from each other, their lips met each other again. this time more fiercely, with the burning sensation of wanting coursing through both of their veins.

suddenly, james’ tan fingers were tangled in regulus’ curls, his own hands cupping james’ face tenderly. it was just like the movies, and all the love stories that regulus had dreamed about. fireworks going off in the background, the music swelling to a crecendo, and something… sticky pooling in his lap.

sadly detaching himself from james’ face, regulus looked down to see his ice cream, spilt everywhere.

“shit”

[midwinterwings]

Happy deitykin euphoria moments :D this is the first time I feel comfortable in my body holy crap. Here's some nerding and yay maybe this blog will be positive instead of having repeated mental breakdowns...yay

*deep breath*

I have COOL WINGS now! (Bodily) I still love them, I hope they stay. My wings are more conceptual as they shift, theyre kind of like shadows, because they more represent flying/realm crossing than my 'true form''s wings. So they kind of flicker like shadows but they are sort of corporeal in that I can feel them somewhat. Nontheless, I love feeling them and stretching them so they fill up my entire room. It feels great. I can even sort of control them now, for example stretching them, or flapping them, whereas before I couldn't really control them. Although now I feel weird lying on my back because owchie even though my wings are made of shadows I can't really banish them at will. It's more of a spiritual ouch than a physical ouch but still, it feels so weird.

2. My talons also moved to the physical realm too and it feels great! They took root where my hands would have been. Theyre sharp.

3. I can finally read mythology without having a breakdown! Yay...my sense of identity is extremely strong these days. I do have self doubt at times but it dosent consume me and cause a meltdown cuz yea reading the myths would trigger me bad as the self doubt spiral would start.

4. I moved most of me into the physical realm and stretched myself out to fill the body with me so now it's mine. And I feel great. I'm able to fly and vibe as myself even in the physical realm (no not in a physical manner obviously, its sorta like.-)

Imagine the body is an empty rubber toy. I have brought me out of just incorporeal realm and 'base realm' and stretched me out from the inside and filling the rubber toy so bodily I'm most of what im like in base realm - not in a literal way but I'm able to express me completely in some aspects with the limited material I have to work with, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Admittedly I piggybacked on my raven form which is already firmly in the body, my deity form (which is another expression of my raven form) isnt quite done figuring out where everything goes but it's got a good template. Holy shit you have no idea how many years it took to learn how to exist and feel normal.

5. I figured out who I am which is...*flops on ground* I've gotten beaten up so many damn times it was fucking hard, because we kept finding more and more Stuff to unravel like plurality and all the while existence is painful...and jarring, as it is, while the body's 'family and friends' think its the anxiety and adhd that are the reason they had no idea we'd been trying to learn how to make us gain a physical form in different realms lol and learn how to 'shut off' or dull other ones because HEY its HARD to live in so many ok?? Meds helped. Now I can only feel 3, 4 max. Could probably feel more if I wanted but...no thanks. I just wanna exist here man I have better senses and there's good food like pizza and stuff even if I can't fly ok.

The relief and being able to just..exist..without encountering pitfall after jarring pitfall is Hecking rad. I need to rest. At the same time I'm so excited and relieved, it's the first time I feel real, present in this realm, whereas before it was like staring at the physical realm through a pane of thick half opaque glass, unable to interact, to just watch.

But interact I shall, and interact I will. *puffs out chest and flies into a window*

[strawmyberry]

my south park tickle headcannons! (the main four!)

the time has finally come!!! these little guys have been clogging up my brain for months- so what better way to remedy that than by spilling all my thoughts out here!!! and- it’s perfect to pass the time while i write my first fic for y’all! thank you so much for waiting!! it really means the world that people like to hear my silly little thoughts!

also- please let me know if you have any requests- i’d love to take a crack at them!!

anywho; here are some of my headcannons! thank you so much again!! i hope you like them!

— ❤️🍓 strawberry 🍓❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Stan!-

super ticklish!

im a huge sucker for the “stan snorts when he laughs” hc

he’s super duper embarrassed by it- he thinks it’s weird

stan goes for defense when getting tickled! instead of trying to get away/tickle back- he tries to cover himself/his mouth

he never likes giving the satisfaction of actually laughing. does hiding it ever work? no! does he still do it? yes!

i think he got it from all the times shelly has been absolutely merciless to him

(she’s a lot stronger than him- so he thinks that if he doesn’t laugh and give her what she wants she’ll get bored and stop)

99% of the time it’s her tickling him- he’s smart enough to know that trying to get revenge on her is practically impossible

definitely the type to lie about being ticklish or at the very least- the extent of how ticklish he actually is

“are you ticklish?” “no” “really?” “…i mean, maybe a little?”

he also gets super blushy - his ears turn RED

worst spot are his armpits- and he goes through great lengths for no one to find out about it

kyle found out a cute little funny trick where if you get your thumb and twist it into stan’s armpit it drives him up the damn wall

like: he starts snorting practically nonstop- can’t even speak he’s laughing too hard

i think up to like the age of 7- his mom had a little game that if she caught him trying to take cookies from the cookie jar when she knew he had some already: she’d taze his side

(it worked like a charm, and she still does it from time to time)

when he’s about to get tickled he just says his ler’s name over and over again with different inflections

“wendy? wendy- no- wendy- wendy. wendy-no! weNDY-“

(whenever he does this to kyle he always goes “yeah, dude? that’s my name!” and it piSSES HIM OFF SO MUCH LMAOO)

teases (that aren’t about his snorts) don’t really embarrass him they just kinda annoy him a little

teases don’t really work on him all that much unLESS IF IT’S WENDY- TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY THERE-

he actually really likes being tickled if it’s by his friends- he just hates admitting it

he likes having an excuse to laugh freely!!

and although i think i could go on for hours and hours about how he is as a lee- he’s more of a ler

hes canonically good at tickling! yay! (thank you matt and trey)

he tickles kyle for everything under the sun

bad mood? poke. beating me at mario kart? poke poke. won’t let me play with his blue hot wheels bugatti chiron? poke poke poke!

i think kyle is so ticklish that for a while he was too scared to even check if stan was too- so homie was in the clear for a while

he laughs with his lee- he finds their reactions very entertaining

he teases!! he’s mean!! smirks all the while!

“man, is it really that bad? sick…”

although, i think with wendy and kyle it’s more compliments than actual teasing

telepathic communication with kyle when it comes to teaming up on people! one look is all they need to know where to go

dream team with kenny- those two are absolute menaces to kyle

i don’t really think he’s mean on purpose- he just gets carried away because he’s having fun!

completely forgets how easy it is to get him back; it totally slips his mind until he’s face to face with revenge!

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

Kyle!-

he is ticklish ticklish!!!

i totally agree that kyle is the most ticklish of the group- he so is!!!

HE HICCUPS WHEN HE LAUGHS TOO MUCH!!

and it lasts for a while after the fact too- like ten minutes later? he’s still hiccuping

unlike stan, instead of defending himself he goes balls to the walls. he pulls out all the stops!!

he kicks, he screams, he punches!

(stan has gotten a bloody nose because of this multiple times. kyle still feels bad about it!!)

he also has sUCH A POTTY MOUTH LMAOO

he curses up a storm when hes tickled- it’s so amusing for his ler(s)

(i totally think there was a time where kenny and stan set a five minute timer and they would add a minute every single time kyle cursed- five minutes were added within the first thirty seconds and the only reason why kyle eventually managed to stop cursing was because he was hiccuping so much he couldn’t even get a word out!) maybeillwritethisoutatsomepointidontknowww

he’s ticklish literally everywhere but his ears are the WORST

(his neck is pretty bad too- but ears? WOOOO)

he begs stan and kenny to keep his ticklishness a secret from cartman. he does NOT want his finding out!

he ends up finding out.

cartman loves to just randomly blow in kyle’s ear (it’s why he wears his hat 24/7) because he squeals and jumps like fifty feet in the air

kyle has really sensitive skin so if you tickle somewhere for a little while- it ends up turning red

(stan uses this as a timer sometimes! “oh- dude, your stomach is red. …guess it’s time to go for your ribs then!”)

just hearing the word “tickle” causes him to tense up- he gets so nervous

teases work SO WELL on him!

you don’t even have to be teasing him actually- if you talk to him AT ALL while tickling him it drives him up the wall

he tries to bargain his way out of getting tickled (it never works LMAOO)

“wait! wait waIT WAIT- we can talk about this, dude! dude, let’s just talk about it! let’s just taLK ABOUT IT-“

it doesn’t really matter how he’s being tickled; everything and i mean everything tickles to him- but i think light tickles are really his kryptonite

he’s the type to giggle hysterically before you even touch him (stan thinks it’s the funniest thing- so he takes his sweet ass time before even doing anything)

as a ler he is RUTHLESS

in his mind- he needs to tucker his lee out before they have the energy to try to get back at him

the years he’s had with ike really pay off and he has some SKILLED fingers!

he makes mental notes of where his lee(s) is the most ticklish- and he does not leave that spot until he figures out WHAT exactly works the best

loves ticking ike because it’s the one person he doesn’t have to worry about getting him back LMAOO

(even then ike still does from time to time)

if his lee makes ANY noise (snort, hiccup, squeak) they need to RUN because he will relish in that shit

“holy shit, dude!! what the hell was that? do it again!!”

him and stan are absolute horrifying when they work together- you got the brains and the brawn against you

hes super mean when getting stan back for his constant tickle attacks

and for kenny, he’s only a tiny bit nicer

he picks and chooses his battles when it comes to revenge…i just think he chooses violence 9 times out of 10 LMAOOO

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Kenny!-

too ticklish for his own good!!!

he has a super addicting laugh- it really doesn’t work well for him

not only that, but he has completely different laughs depending on where he’s being tickled

he MOVES when he laughs (not just when being tickled)

he seems like the type to fucking FLY forward when laughing at a joke LMAOO

he squirms and jerks like crazy!!

and he pounds his fists on the ground and/or pulls on his parka!! he needs something to do with his hands!! very entertaining!!

he doesn’t really fight back- he’s trained himself so he doesn’t accidentally hurt karen

his friends do this really mean thing where they pretend like they don’t understand him through his parka

“…what did you say? do you know what he said, kyle?” “yeah, dude! he said ‘please keep tickling me!’” “oh yeahhh! gotcha’! jussst checking…”

he also seems like the type to shake his head frantically and scream his ass before getting tickled!

runs for his LIFE, back against the wall- just shaking his head and his hands

“mm-mm! donmph!! donmt do itmph!! dONMT-NOOOOOOOO-!!!”

he’s also ticklish pretty much everywhere but his hips are SO BAD

he SCREAM laughs when you squeeze his hips and it’s so funny

his laugh is so contagious that sometimes his ler(s) have to stop for a second and just laugh along with him!

rougher tickles work on him better- since he’s wearing his parka! that shit is THICK!

squeezes are the death of him (literally) he can’t stand them

teases work pretty well on him! they get him all giggly

i think if you tickle him for too long he starts coughing- and that’s how you know when to stop!

gets into tickle fights with karen and kevin CONSTANTLY and most of the time- he gets WRECKED!

as a ler he’s surprisingly really sweet?

i think it’s because he’s died from being tickled too much before

and he knows that HE can come back to life. his friends and family? he doesn’t wanna risk it!

that doesn’t mean he’s not a total tickle monster!! he definitely is!! he’s just a bit more cautious about it

he keeps most of his tickles light

(unless it’s one of the others in the main four- he’s MEAN to them)

he’s the type to coo and tease- what he does to karen he does to everyone since up to this point it’s been pretty effective!

he LOVES giving people really quick cheer up tickles. just five minutes of innocent little flutters and the whole bad mood is gone!

he zips his fingers around random spots sometimes just making little “ooohs” and “aaahs”

”oooh! how aboumt heremph? oooooh! heremph? awwww!”

he’ll wiggle his two index fingers and only those two above his lee before striking with his whole hand!!

sometimes he pulls his parka tighter while teasing, just so they have to guess what he said- he thinks it’s funny!

raspberries are super fun for him since if he has the parka on, it’s ten times worse!

LOVES doing the “sike out” on his lees it’s super fun

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

Cartman!-

not super ticklish- but ticklish!

he has a really “ugly” laugh LMAOO

like it’s almost kinda jarring

he somehow sounds like a mixture of a pig and a gremlin LMAOO

the other three don’t really tickle him all that much actually!

(probably because they’re all just a teeeeeny bit scared of him)

but also because they hate his laugh-

(kyle covers his ears half the time LMAOO im really cracking myself up here)

but in all seriousness, they are genuinely afraid to tickle him; he’s super mean

his mom on the other hand? she does it all the time

i love love LOVE the hc where cartman has ticklish cheeks- im a sucker for it i love it!

his cheeks and sides are his worst spot(s)

(his mom uses this to her advantage whenever she can!)

he’s SO overdramatic- it makes tickling him such an ordeal

he will flop to the floor after a single poke- and then he’s back up again; ready to wreck your shit

he curses like kyle- but noT IN THE SAME WAY AT ALL

kyle just goes “shit! fuck! you’re an asshole!” you know, normal stuff- carTMAN ON THE OTHER HAND??

he makes up the most obscure insults you have ever heard.

(boobie fucker is the first one that came to mind LMAOAOAOO)

teases work super well on him- it gets him all agitated

(especially if it’s his mom it drives him UP THE WALL.)

he definitely isn’t afraid to rip his lee’s hands off of him- he is not afraid to hurt anyone

when he’s about to get tickled- he doesn’t bargain or beg he threatens

and honestly? (you should probably listen-)

HE’S HORRIFYING AS A LER OH GOD

hes actually not that good at tickling- he sucks at it

but that doesn’t matter!!! he still makes life a living hell!!

he searches for your worst spot; and god forbid he finds it

because he EXPLOITS THAT SHIT!!

he won’t stop until you are in tears- and he makes no exceptions!

(remember how i said kenny died from being tickled before? [f]artman is the one to blame!!)

it’s not even warranted half the time- he’s just a bully

and he doesn’t even “tease” he just insults.

he makes fun of your laugh, what you’re doing, where you’re ticklish

the other three have gone through this at least once- and they try their hardest to never have to go through it again

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

4, 8, 24, 25 - missy!

YAY

4 - If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

i got an an ask about this ages ago and spent a really long time thinking about it but i really think missy is too wrapped up in Doctor Who Specifically to really work in any other story? like i watched agatha all along the other day and agatha is Very Missy but even if i dropped missy into that situation i just feel like it wouldn't be her? anymore? but with that being said i think she would be a good character for a vaugely space opera-ey book where we spend most of the book inside her head, with her thoughts, not a lot of dialouge. it might take away a bit from her general fabulousness & over the topness but i think she would be a good character for one of those 'last person alive in xyz isolated space station' things. although possibly that is just my desire to pick apart her psyche.

that being said i think she would also thrive doing This Is How You Lose The Time War with twelve although that is possibly very similar to the dw time war anyways....

8 - What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

it's not nessecarily The Fandom b/c i havent seen much of it in the fan creations i look at but a lot of people, eu authors included, seem to really lean in to her being Secretly A Good And Nice Person which she?? isnt really?? like obv s10 & 'let me try to be good' is a very important part of her arc but most of her regen & existence before that isn't under that. she does kill people. for funsies. like there's an audio story i forget which one where she's pretending to be a nanny to some kids & i know they were doing it for mary poppins paralells but they were leaning wayyyy to far into the 'she's only pretending to be mean & secretly loves them' angle which sort of annoys me idk why. it just feels so reductive

24 - What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

i wouldnt say im anywhere near in the fandom but as i mentioned before i watched agatha all along & it was literally died 2017 born 2024 welcome back missy doctor who. the similiarites. Were There. which im fairly sure was intentional like theres no way thats a coincidence but it was a wee bit jarring for the first couple episodes.

25 - What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

my first impression, from the little bits at the end of episodes through s8 was sort of just a 'i'm sure this will all be super important later idk why she called the doctor her boyfriend though' but when she kissed him in dark water i was mostly just thinking GOOD FOR HER lol. the master reveal did go crazy though i was clapping & cheering for that hehe i'd only worked it out like ten seconds before she actually says it lol

like i definitely knew i liked her & thought she was really cool but while i was watching her seasons i was still stuck on the tenth doctor so it kinda took me a while & some episode rewatches to get fully attached to her & now ive been thinking about her for six months lol

[therealslimshakespeare]

What got you into writing/how long have you been writing?

What’s your writing inspiration?

Do you write in silence or need background sounds? Like music?

Do you struggle more with dialogue or detail?

Any tips for someone who wants to write fanfiction?

How do you differ all your OC’s so you don’t rewrite the same characters over and over?

Do you do research?

— from someone who would love to write their own stories lol but yours are great!

My darling. So many apologies for how tardy I’ve been in replying to this, I really wanted to give it due thought because I’m quite touched you’d even ask.

1: I’ve been writing since I was little, my mama was always reading me classics and my greatest ambition was to be some kind of author every bit as colorful as their characters, a la Oscar Wilde. 🥳

2. Writing inspiration? Oh that’s a hard one only in that I could cite a million things and chat your poor ear off, but to be boring and also frank -I just love stories. I think they’re so inspiring and healing and necessary for making sense of things, or else resigning to things that can’t be explained. I love to study love and how very human and fallible and also indestructible it is in its many forms. I love to dig through tragedy and find the refining purpose of it, I love to take characters through hells I’ve been through so that I can imagine their triumphs, too, and my own through them. If this can happen to -name your hero- then I’m no smaller for it happening to me, if -name your hero- can get through it and be loved and admired by a whole fandom? -I deserve the same commendation from myself at the very least. Stories are essential and fun and I never ever imagined I’d have a little group one day liking my own where we could all scream about these things together. I’m legit so humbled each time I log on here and find y’all ready and waiting and interactive. The community of it, that’s the biggest drive right now, tbh. What a sweet season.

3. I usually write in silence, or else at any chance where I have a moment, so that could be public transport or lunch breaks or in the loo during family holidays, ha. However I do find music to be an inspiring mood setter for writing later that day. Especially as i juggle many ongoing projects at once, the genre im listening to before may very well influence what gets worked on.

4. Detail!! Dialogue can be challenging but I hear it so clearly in my head most of the time that it’s not hard. Details can devastate me.

5. Ooof, I still feel like I’m a baby at it, this is only my second fandom to dare for. I’d say for sure write what you find inspiring instead of what appears to be wanted, i firmly believe that’s the only sure way to keep up any inspiration and the niche will draw its own crowd, one’s who will like it all the better for its specially crafted world. Also, for dialogue -replay and replay dialogue from the character before you write. Are they terse or do they ramble? Are they sarcastic or earnest? Do they have a word they repeat often? -I noticed the other day how Rosenthal uses “you know?” often in the show. Also, sometimes switch up sentence structure from character to character, it helps feel like hopping brains without a fully jarring POV change. All these are things I’m currently working at myself, but that’s the best I’ve got for advice.

6. Oh boy I’m still figuring this out myself. Three things come to mind as little helps I use- first off, read real biographies, it helps tremendously with crafting fully dimensional fictional people. Two -have a maturing arc for your OC during the story, separate from whatever adventure or romance that occurs, this will make it feel less like a inserted person into the broader story. Three, choose a personality type or something similar to both keep them separate from the next but also to ensure their virtues have corresponding vices.

7. I do research a lot. But I find that it’s a fine line for myself of when that drains all creativity or bravery. Im massively indebted to so many mutuals who generously share their own with me.

[keysorsomething]

Sweet Tea and Kvass

This is a little work about my SCP OC again :))

My fav relationship dynamic is grumpy Russian man and a silly little cowboy who annoys him :))

Im so sorry this took so long to come out after it was teased I've been vv busy !!

Crossposted on Ao3 :))

Dmitri exhales, smoke flowing gracefully into the late-night air. He liked it here; it was a beautiful state, and being so far from the city was peaceful. The night’s chill was comforting and reminded him vaguely of home. He lets his eyes shut, slowly and calmly. Crickets rang through the chilly night, letting him get washed with a moment of silent peace. These moments were rare for him. He had so much to do, “War is not a nine-to-five”, after all*.*

Now he feels how tired he is, how he’s barely holding his head up. He looks down at his cigarette, using it as a timer. He had about halfway to go, and then he could go to bed. He was going to finish this, and then he was going to sleep. And he wasn’t going to let any bullshit get to him, no matter how much nonsense the idiots he was assigned to work with got in. He wished he could have someone who took the job seriously.

He tried not to dwell on the thoughts, instead trying to let himself relax so that he’d sleep easier when he went back inside. He took slow, long drags of his cigarette, savoring the moment of peace. He almost wants to start another when he holds nothing but the butt in between his finger and thumb. He shoves the burning end into the porch railing, before flicking it off into the dirt under him. He steps away with a sigh, preparing for whatever he has to deal with when he enters back into the house.

It was a decently large, well-kept, Foundation-owned house meant for missions like this. He didn’t know how often they had to go to this area of Southern Georgia, but he wasn’t complaining about having such a nice place to stay. And, all things considered, the house was pretty clean.

It was a small team, so everyone had their own place to sleep. The door swings open into a small kitchen area, and one of the other members of the team sits at the small circular dinner table. Dmitri groans, seeing him. Arin. Dmitri hated cowboys - he hadn’t met many, but that damn time in Texas had him meet enough - and Arin was the most Southern Cowboy-y as they came.

“Howdy!” He greets Dmitri as he enters the room, turning his head back to look at the Russian man. He always had this easy-going smile on his face, one that never looked forced. But it was just so jarring. Dmitri was so used to the blank faces of home. The smile left a sickly sweet feeling in his stomach, like eating a cake with too much sugar.

He grumbles lowly, “Привет, Доктор,” barely waving. Dr. Akins’ face twitches, he wasn’t really a doctor. It was something he got hung up on often, the phrasing. But Dmitri wasn’t planning on being chivalrous with the other man. Arin’s grin slips, and he nods, turning back around in his chair.

“Alright, well,” Arin mumbles, picking up the silverware he was using to eat. “You gonna be up before six?” He asks, taking a bite of the food.

“Maybe,” Dmitri replies, shrugging.

“Well, I‘mma make some breakfast, but I won’t be up ‘til five-thirty or six, so,” Arin turns back to him. “You’ll still be welcome to take some if you wanna,” He mumbles, before shaking his head. “But don't let me keep ya. You need sleep, you’re doin’ all the hard work.”

Dmitri blinks slowly, pulling a face, “Yeah, Goodnight, Doctor,” He grumbles, walking out of the room. He huffs, rubbing at his face as he makes his way down the hallway. He agreed to take the first room on the right - directly across from Arin's.

It wasn’t a willing agreement - at least not fully. Dmitri had to be at the front, there was no way he wouldn’t let himself be. He had to be at the front to protect his men, and unfortunately, that was the same reason Arin had to be just across from him.

“Keep the death count low; if the one who comes back when they die gets killed, there’s no need to report it,” was the official answer. He was basically a human shield when they took him out like this. Which was rare, as far as Dmitri knew. He didn’t know a lot about the other man’s job on site, but he couldn’t imagine that it was very kind to the other man.

Dmitri swings his room’s door open, groaning as he pulls his shirt off. He drops it neatly in the hamper, kicking the door back shut and not minding when it slams shut behind him. He lets out a heavy sigh when he’s in the bed again. He has to admit that it’s a nice, soft mattress, and the sheets were warm and inviting.

Dmitri is out like a light as soon as the blanket is on him, falling into a deep sleep. His sleeps weren’t always the greatest, haunted by visions of what he’s seen in battle. Many of his dreams were him reliving his last day before he went into the army.

Just slight glimpses of his life before, ones that end up with him re-awakening with tears in his eyes and a pillow tight to his chest. It was embarrassing, the only downside to sleeping here now. Back on site, the walls were thick, and soundproof but these walls are thin, wood.

When he awakes again, his body weight crushes the pillow on the bed, and he’s sweating profusely. He groans, sitting up and rubbing his face. As much as he misses her, maybe it’s a good thing his bed is empty nowadays. He slips out of bed, grabs himself a towel as he goes into the bathroom. He’s still slightly groggy as he starts his shower, taking his time to make sure the water is just right. It cools him off as he steps under the water with a soft huff.

When he gets out he can smell something cooking. It’s unfamiliar, but it leaves a rumble in his stomach. He groans, wrapping the towel over his waist before he steps into the halls. He hears hushed whispers from the kitchen. He rounds the corner, turning in. Arin stands at the stove, humming warmly as he uses a spoon to stir whatever was in the pan he held.

“I still say we should have chicken and waffles,” One of the men at the table groans.

“We can have some tomorrow,” Arin hums, pulling the pan away from the heat.

“What if I ain't here tomorrow? What if I die?” The man replies, letting his hand swing down onto the table.

“You ain’t gonna die,” Arin replies, turning around to him with a wink. “Not while I’m here, at least,” He beams, plating some food. “Oh, Agent Strelnikov,” Arin replies with a jolt, even though he’s smiling. “’M making breakfast; biscuits and gravy. You want a plate?”

Dmitri’s brow furrows, and he shuffles on his feet, “What is “biscuits and gravy”?” He asks, stepping forward.

“Soft bread and thickened sausage fat,” Arin explains, before chuckling. “Oh, well, that doesn’t sound very appetizing.” He plates some more, holding it out to Dmitri. “You wanna try some? You can be honest if you don't like it. I won't be upset, promise,” He beams, and Dmitri takes a moment to think about it.

He had to eat breakfast anyway. He huffs, taking the plate. He sits at the table, taking the fork and knife Arin offers him. Arin plates some for himself, sitting at the head of the table. He has only a fork, not having taken a knife for himself, and looks up briefly here and there as Dmitri takes slow bites. It was not the worst that he’d eaten, but it was nothing compared to food from home.

He took slow, calculated bites as he watched his coworkers eat. They eat fast, Arin simply powering through the soft biscuits with his fork. It bothers Dmitri, the sheer lack of manners. Is it that hard to eat with a knife? But he huffs, looking back down at the food. It’s filling, and it’s important to be full and fed for a long day of searching through a small town for an anomaly.

And the man wasn’t a half-bad cook. Dmitri finishes his food, damn near fully cleaning the plate. A part of him wishes he had been served more, but it will suffice. Arin stands when Dmitri is done, offering his hand out.

“I will do the dishes, Доктор,” Dmitri huffs as the hand comes into his view, raising to his feet himself. “You should not have to cook and clean.”

“Well, I thought you might want to get dressed, Captain,” Arin replies, gesturing vaguely towards the Russian man. He looks almost innocent, his eyes wide and batting at Dmitri.

Dmitri huffs once more, relinquishing his plate to the Southerner. He watches as Arin takes the plates, humming as he moves to the sink. He watches the man hunch, turning the water on as he starts the chore. Dmitri doesn’t stay to watch, turning back around to his own room to get himself dressed for the day.

The sun beats down on them, one thing that Dmitri is decidedly hating. That and Arin’s stupid hat that he keeps tipping down at the people they pass. People are beaming at the Southerner, waving and gleefully greeting him back. It looked like he was a small-town celebrity. People seemed drawn to him like he was magnetic. It was bewildering, to watch how much charisma he had. It was like a dance, socializing here. A dance the Dmitri couldn’t quite get yet. The moves were similar, maybe even exactly the same, but he couldn’t get the smaller intricacies, the ones that weren’t present at home.

To tilt his head here, to smile there, the smallest little twist that makes him walk backward in just a slightly uncomfortable way. These small things, even though they were additions to the dance of socializing he knew, made him feel clumsy like he was tripping over his own feet. Arin did not, though. Arin moved slowly through the dance, swaying at just the right time, smiling and pulling his dance partner in just close enough. The closeness that would be scandalous in the 1700s, the kind where you could feel the breath of the other fanning over your face.

It was something to be envious of, the expertise. Perhaps foolishly, considering how long the man had been around for, but Dmitri still looked at him with the green tint, wanting nothing more than to be able to glide so gracefully through the conversations like this.

Arin leads the small group consisting of himself, Dmirti, and two others. They make their way into a small building, a saloon-styled shop. The four of them make their way inside, being greeted by a young woman who chimes in a pitched-up voice when she spots them.

“Hello, table for four?” She asks sweetly, smiling up at Arin. He grins and shrugs, leaning on the counter.

“We were just lookin’ to ask around, buttercup, but we won't mind stayin’ for some coffee,” He turns his head back to the other men. “Would we, fellas?”

Dmitri watches the other two men turn to each other with big grins, and how Arin’s face twitches with clear displeasure at the sight. The hostess nods and leads them to a booth, Arin firmly yanking one of the men by the wrist like a mom pulling her toddler away from a toy they were throwing a fit over. There was a harshness in the action, a feeling of betrayal, that the man didn't seem to catch. But Dmitri did, and it was a curious thing.

The four of them sit in a booth, Dmitri and Arin sitting across from each other at the ends. Arin faces away from the door, smiling as he talks with the hostess, asking her about how she is doing. He asks about any strange happenings, stuff out of the ordinary. She mentions a semi-truck flipping over on its way out of town before asking why.

Arin grins widely - a disturbing expression to Dmitri, the way that the corners of his mouth pull up so much - and winks at the young woman, “Well, I can tell ya, but I’d have to kill ya, huh?” He chuckles, shaking his head, “We just wanna help, hon,” He corrects, turning to Dmitri. “That’s our job, ta help those who need it, yeah?”

”Дa,” Dmitri agrees quickly, and he watches Arin’s eyes shine excitedly at the agreement. The woman nods.

“Well, did anyone see the truck?” Arin asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Oh, well, some of the firefighters did,” She speaks, her voice soft as she taps the pen to her mouth while she thinks. She takes out her notepad, writing down a handful of names before handing them to Arin. He takes it carefully, turning to her with a big smile.

“Thank you, sweetie. It means a lot you trust us to help,” He tells her, her voice a perfect, sickly-sweet calm. That was what Dmitri disliked so much about Arin’s demeanor. He could never tell what was genuine and what was a ploy to get information or some other want from the target - because they blended into each other flawlessly.

It was easy to get that good at reading people and telling them what they wanted to hear, when you had been around for so long. Perhaps part of it was learned and part was natural, but either way Dmitri thought it was disgraceful. Not that he could blame the other man much - he had his own charms, and his own uses for them. But what Dmitri was doing there was completely different, in his mind. Charming a woman into giving you information for your fights was gross, and his charms had nothing to do with the violence of his missions or of the Foundation.

Arin insists they stay and at least drink something, even though they’re wasting daylight and money, considering that they already had food back at the house. But the Southener still orders a big pitcher of sweet tea with a big grin, insisting that Dmitri try at least a sip.

”When in Rome, you know?” He states, pouring a glass for Dmitri. He doesn’t fill in all the way up, or even halfway, just about a quarter. Enough for the Russian to get a taste, but nothing that would force him to have more than a sip. He pushes the glass forward, not minding the pure disdain on Dmitri’s face. “You don’t gotta, I’ll drink it if you’d prefer.” It was tentative, a small slip in the man’s pride for what was his home.

“I will try,” Dmitri insists roughly, taking the glass from him harshly. He hated that softness, how every offer of Arin’s came with an out. He was an adult, and he could handle himself. He places the glass to his lips, taking a long sip of the liquid.

It, much like Arin, is sickeningly sweet. He frowns as the cold tea touches his tongue, filling his mouth. He pulls away, swallowing it despite how much he wants to spit it back out. He was going to prove to this man that he was capable of taking care of himself, of fulfilling his own duties, and of the fact that he didn’t need another man to talk to him like a pampered child. He takes another long sip, finishing all that he had been poured. Arin smiles, with that same damn smile, and goes to ask him if he liked it.

But, he beats the cowboy to the punch by harshly grabbing the pitcher and pouring himself a full glass. He stares the other man down, violence clear in his face. Arin seems stunned - or perhaps hurt - at the action, but he remains silent. And he’s stopped smiling. It’s a perfect look for him, one that fills Dmitri with a twisted sense of pride.

That pride unfortunately leaves him with much more of the sweet liquid in his stomach than he’d wish, and he feels more than nauseous when they leave. His stomach is so uncomfortable he can’t even think something negative about the way Arin leaves fifteen dollars on the table, despite that being nowhere near fifteen percent of the amount they paid for that pitcher. Dmitri doesn’t even understand how he’s walking by the time they make it to the Fire Department building, which is small considering the area surrounding it. The paper only gives three names, which was the best thing to come from that whole situation.

The interviews go by quickly and are relatively painless. They don’t reveal much, but they give the group a location and some newer information, including other situations in the area. All of them seem to surround one house just on the outskirts of the town, which is the most helpful piece of information. They have their target, and that’s all they could ask for.

Well, Dmitri could ask for one more thing. This was, most likely, a type green. A reality-bender. He doubted anyone here could deal with them as well as his favorite most competent coworker, one Dr. Clef. But, he would have to do.

As much as he doubted these workers, he knew that they would do well, if he took control. He was competent, and he could overcome their goofing off if he was strong enough. If they listened maybe he could make it back to Site. And maybe he won’t have to die with his last drinking being sweet tea.

Gearing up is mostly silent. The men load their guns, adjust their armor, and say their prayers.

Arin doesn’t seem to say anything.

They drive down the back way, with Arin driving. It’s late, dark, by the time they go, but that was the idea. They park behind the house and sit in a moment of fearful silence together. Arin is the first to get out, taking a moment to look out into the dark woods behind the house.

It was run down, the kind of building local kids would tell ghost stories about before daring their friends to go knock on the door. Arin seems lost in thought as he stares off into the distance, fiddling with some keyring he’d attached to the handgun he had in his waistband. It was a moment of solemn silence, one Dmitri didn’t think was possible from the obnoxious other man. He sighs, standing next to Arin silently as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes.

Arin’s eyes slide to his hands, and a chuckle escapes him, “Just my thought, too,” He comments, his hand dropping the metal ring he was fiddling with.

“You want?” Dmitri offers, and this time isn’t doing it with some petty reasoning in his mind, but instead to be kind.

“Nah,” Arin responds, taking a pack of his own from his pocket. “You should keep ‘em for yourself.” He speaks softly, taking out a cigarette of his own as well as his lighter. They stand in silence, for a moment. Together, looking out into the dark forest, in the chilly night air.

“I could die,” Dmitri comments after a moment. “If this goes sour. I would not need extra cigarette then.”

“You won’t die,” Arin replies with an irritated huff. “Not while I’m here.”

[cursezoroark]

playing desolation, and by the time I post this I will have Caught up to Desolation! This is my own opinion and review on the game! For the record I've only played Rejuv and now Desolation of the entire series. In terms of pokemon fangames i have played ep 1 of Flux , Gaia, and Unbound. Disclaimer and TLDR: the game is Very good as I expected I had fun :] . The devs worked their ass off and the fact this game is free and has this much shown effort is so awesome. when ep 7 comes out i Will be reviewing once again. It wont be for more than a year though given the recent dev update. either way!

Pros:

I love the spritework sort of thing for the dialogue, when important characters come on. It's very pretty!

the credits system is gen p interesting. motivator for getting exclusive pokemon and items and even the capsules + mints, which imo is much better than the AP system that was in rejuv. its more easier to achieve and more incentive.

also HELL YEAH sidequests! I loved the tidbits of main lore u get from certain ones, and certain choices. Inch resting!

The difficulty still makes me work Hard to think but doesn't kill me with a bajillion reset and planning so that's all fair and good 👍 the only one I had to rlly drive home for was Jarred. Jesus fucking Christ. i had valerie flashbacks from rejuv but its worse cause it was a DOUBLE BATTLE.

the SPARKLES. lifesaver for me who loves the shiny sprite reworks in this game. i have a beautiful shiny greninja, umbreon, hydreigon, and vikavolt. Vikavolt is my favorite shiny i love whoever reworked that. Jade is so so pretty :]

the music is KILLER. Vs Shiv and Vs Nova is Good. Very Good. honestly the ost choices here rock. one of the best ost selections i enjoyed it very much.

interesting story! I can sort of peel bits of it off and it'll probably come back later to haunt me. Act 3 REALLY ramps up stuff so it did sweep a good amount of confusion I’ve had since the beginning. Act 3 was great. I miss Tristan. Nova's character is Great when it reaches a certain plot point.

I love the rangers bases, and the sidequest lore does build up nicely on the side. its starting to interfere with the main story too which hmmmmmmm hm hm hm. i will wonder about that.

Criticisms/ personal nitpicks:

i mentioned this above but i wish the ui for sidequests was a bit more clear. Like location wise, where to go, and all that. Icons above characters would rlly help me distinguish things.also PLEASE add flashing settings and shaking sets automatically to the options board pls pls pls.

I hope there will be more featured fields in the future. I did mention this was the more lax difficulty ive been through involving fields, and i watched playthroughs of reborn and played rejuv myself. (idk if theres more games with the field system but do let me know its literally one of my fav things). Like it went from oh God to oh ok to hmm to Oh God like a cycle. Though I think that’s just on my team balancing rlly

Please..... more TM versatility. While it does allow me to get creative with my team choices, it also limits what I can actually do. My TM pool is so low and i want to get creative so bad :']]]. The TM shop at Sunshell was a huge improvement though. very stingy though at lvl 65-70s though.

i Do Not like the maps for specifically silver forest and blackview. Its either very cluttering and makes me walk in Direct Circles, or leaves me very lost when im searching for a specific area. I do get the "open area" aspect of Silver mountain though, and it was easier once I got all the bridges down but still yk? but i literally couldn't find the move relearner Anywhere in blackview. it took me forever.

I wish i had more time to spend with some of the characters (Scarlett particularly) so i could rlly grow attached. I do understand that these are mostly main plot points blasting off from each other, but i just wish I could have had more interactions with the characters? More funny dialogue, more MC options to talk and affect relationship values, yk? I do anticipate an arc for a particular someone coming up though. so we'll see. the plot did do a rlly good job at the ceilia leaders though I adore All of them.

some of the language i winced at. idk if its just me so ill leave this one in the air. i dont know how to feel because im muddled.

In a way, because the plot blasts off one another, the room for me to acknowledge the changes in characters or their relationship between each other was a bit small. Like Connor and Scarlett, I think I only got like two cutscenes or tidbits of their entire growing friendship, so it didn't rlly hit me when The Scene Happened. Either way I do like themboth thumbs up.

SPOILERS THOUGHTS DO NOT READ IF U HAVENT PLAYED OR DO NOT WANT TO KNOW:

I ADORE Cecilia’s leaders. I’ve seen complaints how we seem to be Stuck There for some time and. Yeah I can sorta agree with that. Despite being Rlly Huge it also makes me Yearn for the Routes yk? either I love them all I Adore them dearly. Garrett is my favorite he got to me. Reeve and Rosetta and Aaron are all so very charming in their dynamics and gym leader squabbles.

Waldenhall is a Great Character in his introduction holy shit what an impact this guy had. also artem's sprite made me laugh so hard because their (idk their gender) portrait is just staring straight at the camera whats up w that.

Conclusion:

Should you play this game? YES. its quality is amazing, the artwork is insane, the gameplay is so good for pokemon fans who enjoy a good challenge, and want to get into some existential crises. In general, this series is So Far the easiest in the reborn deso rejuv trio. but it doesn't by far make it bad, or a cakewalk for players. Have a good ol time with it. My criticisms are my own nitpicks, but i rlly admire how much effort devs put into their fangames, by semblance of story, custom art, custom maps, etc. appreciate them lots and lots more. This game in particular weighs your choices a lot more, so you rlly have to snoop around for a particular result that you want. all in all lots of good fun!

Hope to review this again in Ep 7! and here's a goodbye from my Current Team :]

[lilcricket]

some episode thoughts!!! my defense of the fuck

OKAY so first of all it’s so funny that emma and sam literally were just fucking and committing acts of verbal and physical assault all episode.

secondly, i wish that there had been more of a build up and more time to develop bc i see what the writers were doing but they haven’t given the characters enough time to really earn the moment they had. my personal belief is they were so rushed because i think someone (emma) is probably not making it to season two!!!! it’s really frustrating because i think the connection between emma and sam is so sweet and well thought out and could mean so much. but that shit is being pushed too fast!!! however i live in pretend land where i can just pretend they’ve known each other longer and/or this moment happened further into their relationship bc IN DEFENSE OF THE FUCKING!

the episode was set up the way it was because everyone was facing traumas in their own ways. it was really funny and jarring to jump from traumafest to the hets making out BUT (!!!!) hear me out! it wasn’t just a sexual awakening for them! marie/jordan/andre/cate are all very avoidant of their trauma and aren’t acknowledging it in their daily lives. they literally need to walk through the memories and the feelings they felt to process the moment and actually face what happened to them. whereas sam and emma are so open with their trauma to themselves and others.

emma opened up about her biggest secret to the FIRST person who seemed to take her seriously. she was willing to be fetishized by gross guy in ep1 rather than have someone be displeased with who she really is! she was terrified of people finding out about the way she changes size because she thought it made her unlovable. she thought it took away from her ability to be a good person because she was doing something shameful and, in her words, gross! sam saw emma at her worst (the day of her biggest secret being leaked to the world, the night she was exploited a step too far by her mom and subsequently cut off her family, the moment of her first kill) and not only did sam accept it, but he revered it!!!! believed she was a real hero and a good person!!!! everyone she is shown to be intimate with has exploited her and made her feel small (haha). with sam, emma is able to be open and honest about who she is without being the butt of the joke or looked at as a goofy sidekick! not only that, she got to be in control of the situation!!!!! fuck!

sam has other shit to work through because honestly the trauma is still actively happening to him and while he’s open with it, he’s struggling to understand his reality. so it’s a little less applicable to him, but also sam gets to be himself too! show that he has the capacity to be violent and has hallucinations and show the vulnerability of thinking he’s going to be left! there’s more to say but im an emma blog so i’ll leave it to someone who has thought more about him. all in all i love them and if emma doesn’t die at the end of the season, why are we going so FUCKING FAST!!!!!!!!! slow it down gentlemen!!!

[jumping-joey1104]

Heya, can I get a Creepypasta matchup?

My name's Altair/Al, I'm 19, Bisexual and go by they/them but he/him or she/her works too! I'm 5'7, with black, really choppy (as in kitchen scissors at 3am type choppy) short hair and dark brown (almost black) eyes. My fashion sense is all over the place tbh, but i usually wear the same 3 oversized black band tees all the time along with baggy jeans (that are somehow still too long even when i wear them with 4 inch platforms) and a bunch of random accessories (i fidget with them alot when i'm anxious). 100% an introvert, but I can warm up to people pretty quickly though. Not sure if I think alot before i act lol, i kinda just do whatever comes to mind (and may or may not regret it later), I kinda just laugh at any bad situations that comes my way (and panic about them internally). I draw in my free time, also tried to play the guitar at some point, and spent way too many hours googling random facts on the internet (usually about animals and human biology). My favorite genres of music are emo, 80s rock and some metal, but im always down for any other genres aswell. I also have a very... questionable, sleep schedule, I either sleep at 8pm and wake up at 4am, or sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm. I also have 2 cats (Lizard and Tangerine) and a dog (Shortie). Not really the most physically affectionate person but my friends told me i give nice hugs lol.

-Thank u for your time <3

Alright alright! This one was a bit difficult to do but I have come to a decision! No I did not spend all night looking through old wikis and forgetting about my ask box

ZERO!

FRIENDSHIP

Zero is not that well known in the mansion, she's much more abrasive and rude than the rest of the female creeps

But one night she walks in on you cutting your hair with scissors over a sink and something just clicked

Definitely seems like the opposite of you sometimes, but you'd be the first friend she had in a long time

So be prepared for her to be the overprotective extrovert of your friendship

She's probably steal your accessories all the time, but with her being color blind (Monochromacy) she can't tell if they match her outfit

Be prepared to see her in her normal black and white stripes with jarring colored accessories

God help anyone that is slightly mean to you because she'll destroy them mentally

She'd probably ask you to help her with pranks at some point, but know that her pranks often go too far

She's not that physical either, given her upbringing in a bad home and the bullying

However she loves your laid back personality and how you react to things, thinks it's funny in an endearing way

She doesn't sleep... only passing out when she gets way too tired, so she'll stay awake with you the moment you say you cant sleep

She's never had pets so she's a bit nervous that your cats wont like her and tries to stay away from them

DATING

During dating Zero is much kinder, she's still got a bit of Alice in her even after taking over so she has the fear that it's all some joke to be played on her

Constant gifts, you'll find new boots and accessories all the time from her just giving them to you

Although she can't tell the difference between light pink and a light grey so heads up

If she sees you with one of the gifts she gets ecstatic, a ton of compliments and attention

The thought that you actually like her enough to wear the things she gets for you makes her knees weak

She's only had one person really care for her like you do so she's even more protective now

If she sees someone talking to you in a slightly flirty tone or a mean tone there will be a glare down from her

This is when she becomes more affectionate to you please give her a hug she needs it but is still a bit wary with it

Cuddles with her are top tier, she will not let go and makes sure you're comfortable with pillows and blankets

Zero will listen to every weird fact you tell her, yeah she'd make fun of it every once in a while but never interrupts you when talking about weird things you found on the internet

She'll start warming up to your pets, passing out whenever they come snuggle up to her

This is how she finds out she's a dog person, your poor dog will also be just as spoiled as you

[shiningmystic]

Hiii, may I partecipate in your free readings please ? I'm not sure if you do appearance/looks readings but I'd like to know what does my future life partner looks like (appearance wise) 'cause some describe him in a way and others in another way, which is so confusing to me and frustrating. The way some describe him sounds like my ideal type, but the way other describe him is a turn off 😩

thank you so much and if you do not do these readings, still thank you ♥️ -A♍

(Sorry for the shadow)

Hey friend! So I do not really do physical features for future spouse (atleast not through the cards I usually do yes or no on the pendulum or pull out physical traits from a jar) because I believe the future changes and who we want years ago is not what we will want now (unless you have dated long enough and really know what clicks for you.) what I mean is our spouse could potentially change because the future shifts. If you don’t believe that then that ok!

I’ll still give it a try for fun so don’t get too hung up on this reading.

So from what I see their hands and arms are well defined, like they seem to do a lot of things with their hands and so there arms are strong. There hands are nice but could be rough from whatever they work on (but because they are emphasized in this spread I believe you will find them attractive. Personally love a guy with big hands but you’re not me haha.) I can see blonde hair as the dominant color in this spread but I don’t believe they have very fair hair. If anything dirty blonde to light brown is what I’m seeing. Even though they have strong arms they aren’t muscles anywhere else, I see them fit but not crazy or anything like they do have a routine they keep up with. Let’s see…

Im feeling like they have a resting bitch face (lol I had to say it) but when they smile it takes your whole soul out of your body so I see strong teeth and a great smile. They are a direct person and tell you how they feel, they are not a play around type they need direct communication so there voice I see is super smooth, very attractive voice.

That’s all I got so hope this supports the other readings. I know we may want to have this fated person but sometimes it’s even more romantic when it’s someone unexpected 🥰 when it’s a soulmate you make in this life but hopefully this does make you smile or resonates; have a beautiful day or night wherever you are!