#still got a few more i wanna do but im rly happy with these so far

[judithan-xing]

Riot Felmer // Cassandra Lake Ethanor // Fester

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC. OH MY GOD. HEAD IN HANDS. HOLY SHIT. ashe is in college (normal college i think??) VYCNENT IS IN SUPERHERO COLLEGE!!!! wiwi fucking around in the woods..... dakota also in college i think??? idk that wasn't super clear 2 me but i think he's there IDK I WAS JUST SO EXCITED FOR ALL OF THEM TO BE LIKE. EXISTING IN THE SAME PLACE!!!! ashe oughhh ashe i missed u ashe <3 i like to think he still has the trickster's wings. thats canon 2 me idc. oh my godd they're doing like. relatively normal shit!!!!!! aaaa!!!! oh i need 2 write a fic about them in college. i got 2. i MUST. even just a oneshot idc i wanna do it!!!

THE IRL MARIOKART AGAIN!!!! LE FROG!!! WILLIAM'S FUNERAL!!!! THE SILLIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!! SHENANIGANS!!!! oh that was so good. that was SO GOOD!!!!! oh im going 2 cry. i didn't cry and then it got to dakota with his aunt and i teared up a lil and then it had william falling off the cliff and landin gin the dirt and just. holding the soil in his hands and feeling it and i actually cried a lil. man. also CANTRIP IS NOT IN THE SPIRIT WORLD!!! WHERE IS SHE!!! DOES THIS MEAN SHE'S ALIVE OR IS SHE A GHOST I DON'T KNOWWWW GOD I WANT 2 KNOW. I WANT 2!!!! and atlas being killed. an X being carved into him. XAVIER VILLAIN ARC????? 👀👀👀👀 PERHAPS??? god i hope so. i would love to see him as a villain. i rly like xavier actually and i think he deserves to go a little apeshit <3 SO EXCITED FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN WITH MAL!!! GUY WAS ALREADY FUCKED UP AND NOW HE'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED!!!!! i like mal a lot. he fucking sucks. terrible horrible awful little man. i love him so much he's such a cool fucking character i want to throw him out a window <3 idiot shit bastard man!!!!!! and william asking vyncent if he would come to ghim funeral. bro was like THIS CLOSE 2 asking him out. i am telling u. and btw william's fucking "vyncent did you realize anything while i was gone?" right ebfore vyncent just passes tf out in ep39 was so fucking. yeah. that's ghostknife!!!!!!! it always almost happens and then it fucking doesn't!!! i love that for them i hope they're ten times as gay and awkward in s3 <3

GOD. that was so good. finales always fuck me up dude. im so fucking emotional. i feel like my entire being is vibrating like a lightning rod or some shit. ALSO u gotta send me more trivia abt the episodes!!! i think the last one u sent me was for episode 15 of s2. GOD PLS SEND ME GREYSCALE AND DEADWOOD TRIVIA!!!!!! I WANT IT!!!!! I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT THE HELL CHARLIE WAS THINKING DURING GREYSCALE. WHAT WERE UR THOUGHTS KING!!! TELL ME MR SLMCL!!!!!!!!

man. im gonna listen 2 bitb next but i feel like i gotta take a few days first yk??? i gotta let that shit sink in. i hope ur havin a good time reading worm <3 i wil start worm soon!! i just wanna get thru jrwi first bc if i try to get into more than one thing at a time that i know will inhabit my entire brain i feel like my brain is melting. too many blorbo thoughts i gotta stick to one thing first. anyway yeah that was. fucking wild <3 ty for getting me into jrwi i regret nothing

HIIIIIIIIIII WHISKEY. SORRY I LET THIS SIT IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I LOVE YOU.AUGH. PRIME DEFENDERS MY LOVE. every day i think about yakko showing up in cosplay . that made me so happy. ashe winters i love you so dearly. i have so many thoughts about post s2 ashe. if ashe isnt in s3 im going to fucking riot.

when i tell you that fucking part with the cliff made me UGLY CRY . like full on. "and you stay there" lives in my head forever.

EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT A POSSIBLE XAVIER VILLAIN ARC. LIKE. THATS GOTTA BE HIM RIGHT. THAT CANT NOT BE HIM. i wonder if allen is with him. fuck. AND WHERES CANTRIP. GOD. i miss her :( i think she deserves to go full vengeful spirit on williams ass and haunt him like a fucking poltergeist. god forbid women do anything.

dude finales fuck me up so bad too. god. 39 hurts me just a little bit more than 40 but 40 is still SOOOO insanely good to me. 40 was like the breath of fresh air we needed. i dont think 40 hit me as hard as a finale because i know we're getting a 3rd season so its not OVER yet. but something about it just made it feel so much more impactful than a regular season finale. god. i miss them so much.

IM SO GLAD YOU GOT INTO JRWI !!!!!!! ITS BEEN SO FUN SEEING YOU GUYS REACT TO EVERYTHING!!!!!! jrwi has been like. HUGE main hyperfix for me since like. last october. so im having sooooo much fun forever. hehehehe. me when my beloved mutuals and i are all into the same piece of media again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bfwonho]

AITA but i dont wanna use reddit

ok you know what here is the situation. my (only recently) 20 yr old friend (i met them four years ago when we both worked at mcd) lived with their strict, emotionally abusive, overprotective parents until recently. their parents would confiscate tech for yrs at a time, wouldn't let them get vaccinated (i had to help them do that), guilt and shame them, etc. also obviously homophobic and my friend is transfem nb and queer. theyre also the eldest sibling of quite a few and had to handle the pressure of that responsibility and their parents never wanted them to do normal things like getting a car and moving out. i was always there encouraging them even when we stopped working together bc i was like fuck this naive gullible homeschooled kid has no one and they remind me of my younger sibling and im gonna be there for them as much as i can. the only reason they even got a car eventually is cus i kept telling them to so they cld move out

cut back to barely a year ago, they're still so naive and gullible they've lent like 1k+ to ppl who won't pay them back, but they still have like 10-20k in savings and now their own car. they also get into digital art with my help and get into furry porn or whatever. im like ok i guess ur an adult now do what u want. and then theyre like "ive got an online partner from CANADA!!! (we r australian) don't freak out i know it's bad but he's 30." i'm like oh god. they've been together 3 months ish and my friend RLY wants to visit their fuckass boyfriend and i'm like please be careful, please wait at least a year, i know u wont wanna listen to how i rly feel about this but at least just take these precautions. i'm also like when you do meet irl he should come here ur barely 19 and he's 30 like it only makes sense. and theyre like "thank u i promise i will do that"

and then maybe 10 or 11 months into their relationship i find out my friend is in canada with their bf, and has been for like a month, and i only know this bc they're asking if i can pick them up from sydney airport. im like errr that's pretty far away but take the train and i'll pick you up from the station and they're like ok sure! and i ask a bit more about it and find out they believe their parents have been hacking into their laptop because why else would they be suspicious that this canadian guy is their boyfriend, i'm like actually no offense but it's really fucking obvious i don't think they did that... and they're like "yeah anyway my parents are no longer picking me up which is why i need a lift, i admitted i have a boyfriend and they're calling him a pedo (and i almost agree but i just smile and nod) and so i'm not going back and taking their bs anymore, i'm gonna sleep in my car if i have to" so i offer for them to stay at my place for a few weeks.

they go get their stuff from their place, i buy them a pizza cus they havent had dinner, i help them get their stuff inside, set up a temporary bed. they tell me they plan to be out within a few days, i tell them they can stay longer if they need to, but currently their only job is doordash and they should focus on getting a real job so they can find a place and i'm more than happy to help them find somewhere. theyre the type of person to say sorry for everything and not let themselves ever feel comfortable, so i make sure they know they can use the kitchen and bathroom and everything while they're here and to not feel like a huge burden, im gonna be charging them a tiny bit of rent anyway so yeah.

now tell me why it's been over a month, they've applied to only a few places, i specifically put in a good word with them at my job and told them to call back and ask about the application and they just haven't, they've just been doordashing and filling my entire fridge and cupboard with their food, i tell them to use the laundromat cus we don't have enough space for their washing too and they end up asking if they can use our washing machine anyway (i reluctantly say yes), they destroy all my kitchen sponges on washing this one shitty pan i have cus they have to cook an entire grand meal from scratch for breakfast lunch and dinner, they wash up but i'm the only person who cleans the floors and the bathroom so now i'm feeling cramped and stressed out...

i ask my mum about what to do, she says give them 2 weeks to move out, my mum is a guarantor on my lease so in the group chat i explain the situation and say they have 2 weeks, they NEVER RESPOND and start not coming home until late at night... i'm considering moving into another place with a friend atp so i'm like yo maybe you can get on this lease and THEN they respond and start showing up again... and today i called and updated mum on the situation and her partner got on the phone, me and my sibling only got this place cus he apparently called in a favour cus we were rly struggling to find any fucking housing, and so he says "tell him i mean THEMMM if theyre not out tomorrow i will forcibly remove them" and so my sibling makes sure to tell them this face to face so they cant avoid actually responding. i also find out today that this whole time they've been flat broke (to the point they had to borrow my money just to get petrol despite doordashing like 40 hours a week) because they HAVE BEEN HELPING. PAY. THEIR GROWN ASS. SHITTY FUCKING USELESS. PARTNERS. RENT. THIS GROWN ASS MAN NOT ONLY HAD THEM PAY TO GO SEE HIM AND SUCK HIM OFF AND COOK FOR HIM. NOT ONLY WAS LETTING THEM GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND JUST BE HOMELESS. BUT HE IS ACTIVELY TAKING THEIR FUCKING MONEY. despite all of this i am deep down INCREDIBLY GLAD that my mum's partner put his foot down to get them out of my house and i feel guilty about it despite risking eviction cus im breaking my lease agreement by having them here loooll

tldr my 20 yr old friend has been living in my house illegally for over a month bc they refuse to go back to their shitty parents, they are however broke and don't have a stable job and their 30 yr old boyfriend is leeching off of them, and now i'm essentially kicking them out of my place within 2 days because my own housing security is at risk

[k-s-morgan]

hi ks!! hope you're doing well. i absolutely love your hannibal meta posts, and while i have no idea if youd still be open to any asks, id love to hear your insight on something im stuck on (im also rly new to analysis so pls forgive me for any dumb comments!!) tw sa mention

in the hannibal s3e13 script when dolarhyde attacks will in his hotel room, there are a few lines with notable word choice:

"postcoital" "terrible lover's embrace" it threw me off a bit bc i didnt expect such specific wording. is this scene an allegory for sa? i wasnt sure if this was just the norm for hannibal scripts or if this was something noteworthy.

as far as i understand dolarhyde is now terribly jealous of will for being the subject of hannibal's love and angry at being emasculated. lots of ppl also say dolarhyde wanted to "change" hannibal by ruining/"defiling" the one thing (will) he truly cared for.

everything seems to makes sense, but i dont know if im making something out of nothing, or oversimplifying it. do you have a take on this considering your opinions on the francis hannibal and will dynamic? id love to hear anything you have to offer!! ty for all you do <3

Another ask: hello!! so sorry to bother again, happy late birthday!! i was judt wondering if you got my ask about the will + francis scene in the script---totally ok if you dont wanna answer it! i would just love to discuss it because i couldnt find much discussion for it when i tried searching tumblr/google

--------------

Hey! Thank you so much for your ask and for your wishes <3

So, 'Hannibal' scripts are indeed famous for having rich sexual imagery. In this specific case, there is also context. I don't know if you've seen this already, but there is indeed evidence that Francis had sexual interest in Hannibal (apart from other kinds of fascination). From his notes made for the show, this particular bit (transcribed by Bentley):

“I think we are so similar and could be the best partners that history could have seen. Let me show you what we could do together doctor. I am so eager to please you to be your friend your lover perhaps. Why not I think we could love each other doctor. Don’t you want to have someone that is the one in your life. That special someone that is always here for you. It is me doctor? I am!”

Here’s an interesting part about Will as addressed to Hannibal:

“He faces you, he traps you but in the end he is broken! Do you think he understands you? Do you think he really appreciates your magical power? Does he realize how special and unique and wonderful you are doctor. I have my doubts, I don’t think he really sings the wonder, the salvation that can come from following you, knowing you. ”

That’s extremely interesting because it gives a much deeper insight into Francis and his motivations. For one thing, one of the phrases that always bothered me in the show is his description of Will - namely, the mention that he’s “not very handsome”. It’s from the books, so it might apply there, but Will in the show is handsome, very much so. Francis seems to resent him.

After Hannibal basically helps Will get to Francis in the museum & some more events later, Francis grows furious because he realizes that Will is the central player while he, Francis, is a pawn. Hannibal doesn't care about him the way he thought.

Francis’ attitude to Will undergoes some changes: at the start, he touched his photo, which denotes his interest. He threw him away like a toy in the museum, and while it’s just an interpretation, to me, he looked pissed at Will in particular. When he tells Hannibal later that Will interests him, it can’t be just from their museum encounter. Francis clearly knows a lot about Will (likely from Freddie’s articles), but he doesn’t like him because he thinks him unworthy of Hannibal, which his notes prove. But in TWOTL, in the moment you mentioned, Francis is very unsure about Will. He is no longer certain what to think of him (since he thinks Hannibal has chosen him). He automatically treats him with some sort of respect because of who he is to Hannibal and what he must represent.

I think this explains how they chose to describe the scene of the attack. It's not necessarily a sexual assault, but violence frequently has erotic undertones in 'Hannibal.' Here, Francis might be trying to look at Will like Hannibal, like a lover, hoping to understand what he sees in him. He's respectful and almost reverent at some points after Will regains consciousness. In his eyes in these moments, Will is Hannibal's partner, the man who has what Francis wanted.

Notably, this respect turns into fury in the finale, where he attacks Will viciously. Interesting that he goes to ruin his face first and foremost. Considering his own insecurity, it says a lot about his many-layered jealousy, from deep to a superficial physical level.

[nitrokiraru]

finished the final chapter of uuultrac! (and on the last route finally figured out how to get rid of the text box LOL)

as always thoughts and spoilers under the cutttt

man. ill say my thoughts abt the entirety of this vn later but this route was PAIN (in a good way)

juurou and yomi probably have the most complicated relationship in the whole dam game. first of all. yomi is apparently a weird alien lookin EYE thing which is a little complicated there. second of all it had the "i have to push you away..." trope which kills me everytime and juurou is just like well no. idc what i have to do im gonna be with you. crazy how chapter 1 and 2 had these like happy endings where they get to b happy together and then they just throw you a god damn CURVEBALL on the very last one. to be honest i cant exactly grasp what actually happened in this ending but it broke me regardless. good stuff

ok to talk abt things besides the depression i received from the angst i wanna go to a lighter note and say that the icarus squad is hilarious and i love them. also love this cg a lot yomi's tummy has me thinking nefarious thoughts that i cannot disclose.

i also rly liked tarou he was SO adorable. hes just a little guy.

also love how every route connects because i got to hear akira gush abt shou to the icaruses... im very not normal about akishou so i loved hearing abt him talk abt his "gf" to the group and being like !!!!!!!!!!!! HES TALKING ABT SHOU!!!!!!!! I KNOW THAT GUY

to review the entire game, i actually loved this so much. genuinely think it is one of my new favorites. everyone's chemistry, the humor, the soundtrack, the amazing cg art, the lovable characters; everything just WORKS i got attached with just chapter 1. ive said this a few times before but i rly think that after playing this and hashihime, i like uuultra c a lot better. not that hashihime is bad, i just think kurosawa improved a lot when it comes to the art and storytelling

if i were to rank the routes in this game i think it would be 1 = 2 > 3. I liked chapter 1 a lot, reason being because Akira is my favorite character and i also really like akishous dynamic. I like 2 about the same amount, with 3 falling a bit behind just because of some parts that i felt nitpicky about so im not gonna mention them, but regardless as a whole it is a really good vn. technically it's more of a kinetic novel but idk im still gonna call it a vn #lazy

definitely going to revisit this later, maybe replaying a chapter once in a while. i almost wish it was longer bc now i just miss the characters LOL

[ghosttotheparty]

first of all, I hope you're doing okay (and if not I hope your situation improves imminently).

secondly, who are some of your current favourite fanartists? I've been looking around for more stranger things fanartists to follow but it could for any fandom!

who's your favourite character dynamic/pairing in stranger things to watch or write about?

what was the first fandom you were ever involved in?

what do the walls of your room look like? from your fics and overall vibe I would assume you've got loads of photos and art etc stuck up but maybe not!

what time zone are you in?

what is a fanfic trope you think is criminally under-utilised?

do you play dnd? I can't tell if I get a dnd vibe from you

do you have any niche headcanons that you've been sitting on, regardless of fandom?

anyways I hope these questions can be of some help/distraction, feel free to just choose whichever you want to answer ✨️

oh my god thank you sm (i added read more bc uhhh i tend to ramble)

okay my fav fan artists: @irlplasticlamb (genuinely obsessed i keep annoying my best friend by sending her their art on instagram just being like ‘look’ or ‘i want this to be my gender’ and the like); @obligatedart (SO fucking cool and also very gender their art is so smooth idk how else to describe it); @trashpocket (their art style is so!!! cozy!! that one piece of steve holding the stars in his hand haunts my daydreams it’s so lovely); also @leoniejulie even tho she doesn’t draw/post anymore her skam art will always hold a v special place in my heart and sometimes i scroll through just to look; and @/pasitaya on instagram bc her pjo art is just 🤌🏻 and she uses omar rudberg as a percy ref just like me <333

my fav pairing from st to write is steddie 👉👈 but i also ADORE platonic pairings like robin and steve and gareth and eddie (im also loving tommy and gareth in love me softly theyre v fun); i do wanna branch out and write more pairings— i have a ronance idea and i rly wanna write byler bc they <3 but i just haven’t gotten around to it

my first fandom was h*rry p*tter in middle school (my brother convinced me to read the first book and then promptly regretted it bc i made it my personality) but also percy jackson, which i’m still kind of involved in (im not rly up to date w everything but i do wanna catch up w the books bc i haven’t read past blood of olympus)

you’re 100% right ab my walls!! having stuff on my walls is actually a huge comfort thing for me and i started decorating literally before i even finished unpacking when i moved in (i’m still adding stuff to them lmao)

i have a few posters around the room (on my bathroom door, one of almond blossom by van gogh above my bed, and some in the corner by the radiator and window) and my bulletin board above my desk is covered w photos and art and my calendar; under that i have some post-its w poems and lyrics and quotes and stuff: next to my desk i have heartstopper leaves swirling in the corner i’m quite proud of them

the wall by my bed is covered in postcards bc i collect them (every time my friends or parents go anywhere i literally beg for postcards, pref of art and stuff but also just pictures or words they make me so happy idk why) but it also has some of my art and some pastel bunting flags across the ceiling, and i have some like silly flyers (‘sick of being asked what you’re going to do with your life? (same)’ and ‘crying over a boy? (ugh)’) that i got from an exhibition at my school on a cabinet and next to my bathroom door

i realised i didn’t know what time zone im in so i looked it up and apparently rly it’s ‘greenwich mean time’ which i’ve never heard of before but

i think in regards for fanfic tropes i just have an affinity for Heavy Angst or Horniness with the softest possible endings and I've realised i tend to just not be able to find the kind of stuff that i write in other fics??? i think i also just don't read as much fanfic as some others do so maybe that's my problem; i don't think comfort tropes are underutilized (esp in this fandom bc every needs comfort bless their hearts) but i adore any kind of comfort esp during/after heavy emotional episodes like panic attacks, grief, injuries, etc i just find the comfort so <333 (especially if it includes the comforter calling the comfortee a pet name, ESPECIALLY if its the first time they call them that it gives me butterflies)

i do not play dnd but i do have a t-shirt that says ‘yeah i’m into d&d — dehydration and dissociation’ bc i found it amusing and terribly Me (its this one)

ok i actually have a v long list of headcanons for st in my notes app that i just haven’t posted but now i’m thinking ab it

[jdopes-recorder]

Not little rant pls ignoreee

Literally giving you so much time to scroll past

Stop scrolling

Well you asked for it:

Im feeling kinda lonely here :/

There's moots and blogs I like that are so talented and cool so obv they get a lot of asks and interactions

They all must be getting them cuz they do something, right

What do I even do here?

I reblog sfuff.

I know that reblogs mean a lot to the writers but still.

I've literally posted one headcanon but that was from some surge of confidence and I don't like anything I've sort of written other than that. Ones with serious topics and scenarios. I'm not good at conveying that stuff. My writing is like an examination essay, pretty bad with bringing emotions and more descriptive.I have ideas but I'm not good at writing.

Idk what to make edits and gifs.

I dont do those 'relatable thoughts' that I see everywhere.

Am I even worth much to the people I interact with? Probably not tbh there's nothing great abt me

The one I was closest to here for the most was aster but then she deactivated suddenly and I didn't even know why so I had to ask rin.... It sounds stupidly selfish but I just wish aster had let me know before she left bcz it was such a shock. I was gonna ask her smthg and I went to our messages and it said it was deactivated.

It was just a lot to process and I miss her a lot.

I'm not rly doing anything worthwhile here tho am I?

What do I bring to this platform?

Nothing really

I do moodboards sometimes but I haven't for like two months cuz it takes quite a bit of time and patience and I don't have that kind of stuff rn

It feels pretty pathetic actually, to see your moots posting awesome stuff that literally move my soul while I do nothing.

I suppose sometimes I may make them happy a bit

Maybe

I always try my best to leave feedback on all writing works I read and I know how much that means to them

I've only posted one thing and the few reblogs I got and their tags mean so much so I wanna do that for others.

But it feels.... Weird and sad to be this unproductive here.

Kinda feels like I don't belong in a place like this where there are so many talented creative wonderful people.

I'm not rly thinking about it but, if I deactivated my blog, what great thing will be gone with me? Moots may be a bit :( but they'll definitely find many another blogs that are equally cool to interact with right? Right.

Ok well that was the most I've ever showed my feelings here... Weirdddd

[your-local-baguette]

Its rly late and i just couldn't not write this right now. This idea came up while watching a short hope you enjoy this os.

Character: Itoshi Sae

Genre: angst

Warning: none

It was all happy with him, he opened up to you, you clinged to him and you both ended up here together in a healthy relationship....

So far.

You had tons of sweet moments together, including praticing with him at home. He kicked the ball towards the cage in a curved motion, not going too hard on you, your talents as a libero clearly helped because you easily changed its direction to above the cage. You grinned putting your fist up, unlike sae, you showed your emotions a lot more. A soft smile creeped up on his face seeing you're excited and happy expression. You ran to him jumping on him, he easily catched you, for him your weren't very heavy. Your arms were around his neck and your legs around his waist. It was him looking up to see your bright smile, you interwined your own hands behind his head and leaned in. Both of your lips joining in a loving kiss, some of his pushed back hair tickled your face making smile even more against his lips. After your tender and affectionate interaction you jumped out his arms, the top of your head now reaching a little higher than his shoulder ( unless your taller than him) you went to grab the soccer ball, putting it next to the door of the backyard, Sae followed you back inside, in the next few instants he was back hugging you sniffing your neck" today was tiring. Take a nap with me ?" You chuckled putting your hand over his" of course kind sir. Who am i to deny this intriguing offer" he slightly giggled at your words. These were all sweets and great moments but it couldn't last forever could it ? This world hates you because it chose the wrong times to break the only thing you had left.

" we're over"

Those words hit you like a boulder, your hand rubbed your stomach, you were still processing this, eyes widened with shock. But when it all got together in your head, you softly smiled looking up at him with tears rolling down your face like waterfalls. It was really was the wrong time." You know itoshi." Hearing you call him by his last name gave him the envy to cry his heart out but he just couldn't, he still loved you, but he didn't want you to go through the pain of him almost never being home. Little did he know he was making you go through much worse..." I went through a lot of shit, you went through a lot of shit. We went through a lot of shit together. But.." you couldn't stare at him in the eyes, you couldn't say this, you weren't able to, it was too painful." I can't believe i have to bring myself to say this itoshi but...i never thought i'd have to go through the shit of being a single mom or neither single pregnant woman." Just as he heard this, he absolutely regretted his words, building a family with you, what else could he ask for..he extended his hand to you about to say something but you interrupted him" i know what your about to say. Im sure you have valid reasons to do this because i can see the love and regret in your eyes Itoshi. But dont give me that, you know damn well that the last thing i would wanna hear from you" silence, for the first time you saw a tear roll down his cheek, then another and another one." I want you to promise me one thing. That when this pathetic life of mines ends in the few years i have left, to take care of this kid. To love them with all your heart and take well care of them." You looked in his eyes, he could see flames in your iris" promise me Itoshi Sae. That if i can't take care of this kid anymore, that you will protect it with your life" he stepped back, he nodded furiously" i promise..." You smiled, you thanked him quietly before grabbing your stuff, you walked out if his house. You knew he couldn't cancel all his life plans and his travel for the u-20. You didn't look back....

You praticed volleyball while being pregnant until it became too harsh on your body. Your teammates were here for you but when you gave birth it was now all you. All you and you alone, at first you found it hard, you had many sleepless night but you loved that baby. Loved it so dearly, the first year passed and you were finally able to go back to volleyball. It was hard to balance your time but you managed, you had a well raised little boy..

today~

You had your three year old son in your arms, a cap and sunglasses hiding him from papparazzi. The poor baby buried his face in your shoulder, he was scared, suddenly a taller body was in front of you, shooing the papparazzi away. When the person turned to you, you immediately recognized him, Sae, standing there, infront of you. You could see he just the slight changed but his piercing gaze was the same. You smiled at him" thank you Sae." He nodded holding back the smile from.hearing his first name coming from your lips. Suddenly some shifting could be seen, the little boy doing grabby hands motion towards his biological dad. The said man, looked for approval from you, you handed him the baby, which he teared up as seeing the kid he wished he could have seen at birth. But you and the kid were here, maybe he could somehow make it up to you.

End~

Thank for reading lol. I wrote this quite quickly so i hope it wasn't too messy. See you another time~

[69constellationsinatrenchcoat]

Reblogging our own post with The Thoughts that Amber didn't add!

My response: NOOO!!!! Sorry y'all I literally hate system spaces: it's nice to be treated as an individual ... And there are some spaces that are safe but not..all of them..

but here are some things I've noticed

Misinformation. IN SPADES. Or where the information is correct it's presented in such a way that makes parts feel sad or invalid (look, my old therapist did that enough, I don't need it from safe spaces too!?)

How we're expected to always be happy... I get it we wanna be positive but I literally got kicked out of a system server for saying I was feeling sick because I was "being negative".. sorry lol, as a disabled system... I'd hate to show you my actual day to day experiences and memories, sorryyyy! Or... We're expected to be depressed all the time or we're not believed

Adding to ^; all or nothing views: servers remaining 0 negativity or being full on vent servers where people are giving full on descriptions of their trauma.. same thing with syscourse, you have to be black or white and having s more complicated view gets u hate

how so many systems disrespect people who choose to integrate having no idea their history or how their system functions :(

expectatioms around system experiences: have to be textbook perfect to be respected ;-; or more accurately: community perfect (especially around introjects and high alter counts)

The expectation to give your systems information out...and then when you do, get shat on for things you can't control. I don't appear like a normal human in our inner world and various people said I was just roleplaying because I have puppy ears.. I'm sorry my brain always gives non human traits to represent our experiences, personalities and trauma!!??!! that's just??! A thing?? I can't? Get rid of them? They're in my sense of self?? Sorry???? That's just??? How my brain deals??? ;-; this was after we stated we had formally recognised DID too ;-;

fakeclaiming .. and on the other hand, having self diagnosed systems who have done.. like, one google search and decided it would be cool to have DID but don't do any further research

the constant threat of anything you say being posted to r/systemscringe, they don't give a flying shout whether you're traumatised, diagnosed, faking it etc, no one's safe from that reddit and i genuinely hate it sm

how little people seem to care about non introjected alters...i know heaps of us who are sitting here like 'im not your favourite character but im cool too, promise!!! pls talk to me, im lonely'

homophobia, racism, ableism etc

tw // how often grooming, and SA occurs.. systems are vulnerable people and.. unfortunately.. I've had one too many system spaces end with someone pushing me beyond my safe points and I know I'm not alone in that

Trauma Olympics; need I say more?

How it always has to be about your experience as a system? Can't I just be hanging out with a bunch of systems but be talking abt anything but the disorder that ruined our lives?

death threats and disrespect 👍

syscourse (sorry)

The lack of adult only spaces.. yeah, sorry. don't like being in system spaces with under 18s v much bc of various reasons.. mostly my ocd goes insane and I can't interact without having a panic attack ;-;

Still feeling like we need to put a singlet mask on even when we're talking to systems..yeah.. that's an us issue

anyway I... could go on for hours.. um.. gonna leave it here. but yea..system spaces aren't perfect by any stretch ;-;

these are just my observations pls don't send anyone in my system hate, we're rly fatigued and sick and im not thinking too well, it's been a long few months 😭😭😭

[fully stealing this off @okiimii with permission bc I'm curious about my demographics response]

Reblog for reach if you wish :)

[litttlestars]

hi, i've been following for a while and i was reading your recent posts on what happened between you and someone else. first, sorry to hear you had to deal with that (you don't deserve it at all)! second, i'm also going through a similar situation, and i was hoping you could tell me what you think about it? tl;dr i've liked this person for a while and they feel the same, but they don't want to commit to anything yet. they said they want to talk more with me and told me they care about how i feel and making me happy, but recently they've been really distant and i'm not really sure why. i've tried talking about it with them but communicating with them is difficult since i usually get left on read often or don't get a response until later. just recently i asked if i could talk to them about something important regarding us. they gave me permission to, i told them about it, and i got left on read again; only to wake up in the morning and find them playing games with their friends. i still don't know their side of things but i feel really hurt, esp after they said they wanted to communicate more with me. but i also feel guilty about feeling hurt by this in the first place, and feel like i should continue to be more understanding about this. what do you think i should do?

im so sorry about that lovely, first of all i just wanna say your feelings are TOTALLY VALID and it's rly hurtful to have someone not put in the same effort of mending the relationship as you do. you should not feel guilty for being hurt bc it's a completely normal and natural reaction to being brushed off. plspls honor your emotions love bc they are important, you are not terrible for recognizing that you are hurt and telling someone how they hurt you. you have every right to feel how you feel.

im not sure if im good at giving advice so def take what i say with a grain of salt and think about how YOU would like to go abt things as well!!

from what you've told me i feel like you've been plenty understanding. just because someone doesnt want to commit, doesnt mean they're allowed to shed all human decency and decide when and how they want to communicate with you, esp when they said that they want to make you happy and keep talking to you. im firmly against the idea that we dont owe people anything- we do. especially if they explicitly said they wanted to keep talking and that they cared about you. if they like you and care about how you feel then i feel like they should at least try a little harder to communicate even if they're not so good at it ? you deserve someone who respects and reciprocates your time and effort, even if they're a little hesitant about getting into smt more serious. all you're doing is asking to talk, and that's the bare minimum. maybe they need time to think over their response so i suppose i'd give it a few days but if they dont reach out after a few days i'd def pop in and say something abt how them leaving you on seen made you feel and how you're viewing the situation as of rn and that you care abt this relationship and this person so talking things over is rly important to you! i would avoid any sort of accusatory statements and moreso focus on how you're feeling and how you would like to move forward bc i suppose you never know what someone is feeling or thinking. it's hard to find a healthy balance between being understanding but also honoring yourself, but i believe in you!! :') you seem like an amazing person and you don't deserve to be strung along.

tl;dr DONT FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING HURT!!!! share how you feel, your perspective, and remember that relationships require effort from both sides! if you find yourself unable to get anywhere with this person, it's not worth it. you can't force someone to talk to you which is tough, but there are plenty of other people out there who DO actually care about you and they will put in the effort to actively show you so that you're not left questioning in the dark or always waiting on them.

[wildcatofgreen]

Hearing her phone bing, Tangle picked it up happy to see Carol was responding . Yet each text made her more uneasy, had she messed it all up? She felt responsible? But then if she was dating someone and they were still infatuated with someone else she'd wanna know, even if it hurt she'd wanna know.

She closed her eyes thinking hard on how to respond, Gaia she could only imagine what Carol was going through, it hurt alot when Whisper walked out on her that morning. This was probably that but so much worse.

Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: srry C, i was hopin' itd go smooth Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: Uncle once toldme Love is like a mountain, u gotta climb it u know? its rough and yer gonna fall a few times. But u cant just give up, and call it quits! Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: Keep goin' keep climbin' dun lose hope, it aint over till you give up and stop climbin' Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: u kinda cut his rope u know? dropped alot on him and now he's like, fallin' but that dun mean he gave up right? Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: just have faith, have faith in yer love 4 him and his love 4 you... he'll be back, cause he loves you and you love him... i got faith in that. You gotta have faith 2. Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: im here 4 u i got faith in u, Ringtailedmischiefmaker001: stay strong C, and dun give up hope, sometimes its all we got... sometimes its what keeps us movin' keeps us climbin' She had tears in her eyes, she felt so bad for Carol, chaos she hated how emotional she could get when her friends were hurting. Even if Carol was doing her damnedest to hide it---Tangle could tell she was hurtin' way worse then she was.

Didn't know how to respond to any of that.

Felt like kind of nonsense words? At least a little.

She cut the rope. She ruined it. Can't go back from that. How's he gonna keep climbing? How's she expected to keep climbing if she fucked him over so hard? If she ruined it all?

wildcatofgreen: if i cut his rope then i got no business thinkin its anythin but gone wildcatofgreen: he'd give up while falling anyone would wildcatofgreen: how's he supposed to climb back up and why would he even want to girl wildcatofgreen: yeah thats such a smart idea climb back up to the girl who cut your shit in the first place wildcatofgreen: its just gonna get cut again thats villainy 101

...

add something so it doesn't sound so depressing, moron.

wildcatofgreen: lmao wildcatofgreen: i trust you tangie i rly do

She stared at her phone, wondering what else to say.

If she's supposed to sound positive she can't think of jack to make this positive.

She didn't have faith, she couldn't keep climbing. Not after what she did, not after how badly she made him feel. It was unforgivable, unbelievable, completely and utterly detestable just like she fucking thought from the get go. She can't help but question why she even thought it'd go well in the first place.

A fool's errand, really.

wildcatofgreen: my sense of humor is just rly dry lol wildcatofgreen: i gotchu i gotchu wildcatofgreen: an' if youre right about all'a this then next time ice cream's on ME lmao

There. That worked well enough, right? Some positivity to layer over the negativity.

It'd get the point across, at least. It'd make Tangie less worried. Last thing she needs is a friend worried about her. No, she's hurt one important person to her already.

Fucking, make it two--stones know Lyli doesn't feel great about the whole loved-each-other-but-never-together thing.

Wow. Wooow. She just needed a third and she'd be out of the game. Sit on the bleachers, Tea, you're losin' us the game.

Fucking hell.

[garlique]

being an adult is so fucking stressful and this cat bullshit is NOT making it any easier !!!

[keymintt]

I forgot I have a talking tag that I haven’t used in months, hello how’s everybody been??

[germanyballartsandanimations]

👯‍♂️👯‍♂️LIKES, SHARES, SHARES TO STORIES, SAVES AND COMMENTS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!👯‍♂️👯‍♂️ ........ I did it This is my biggest felony yet........DW i dont rly ship them but this one kinda IM SORRY TO MY FOLLOWERS IF YOU DIDNT WANTBTO SEE SHIPS THIS WAS JUST TOO FUNNY SOMEHOWWWWWW Completed this like last night im sobbing Im gonna go apeshit crazy soon over this it's so horrendous i love it @kuhory hope your collection thrives 😳😳😳 And tysm @princedoesstuff for requesting greenland x antartica the request art is rly rly happy right 😏... *sobs on floor* Im gonna dissolve I thought the arms of chile and argentina were their bodies at first... so uh argentina was half shirtless in the WIP... no more questions my villian arc has risen TYSM for the latest post btw!!!! Yall chad at it sia wth 🤤💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅 Ive got a few more artworks that im gonna post pretty soon but at the same time im scared- do yall wanna see it? It's an underrated country btw 👀👀👀👀👀 Im in misery Why does argentina look so fine here oh my g No i hate the effort here i thank yall tho 💀💀💀💀💀 i'll compensate for this i promise 👍👍👍👍👍 (Skip this part if u dont wanna see updates of me LMAO) Ive got exams the next few weeks 😭😭😭😭😭 so actually idk if i can still post THAT often... and especially the last quarter of 2022 :(((((( i will be around for yall during the holidays dw!!! I wanna focus on school lately if yall dont mind :vvv HAVE A GREAT DAY/MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING/NIGHT AHEAD!!!! Tysm for having your eyes killed by this lov yall 💗💗💗💗💗 god has abandoned us 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 ⚰️ Tags: #countryhumans #countryhuman #countryhumansargentina #countryhumanargentina #argentinacountryhumans #countryhumanschile #countryhumanchile #chilecountryhumans #countryhumansredraw #countryhumansmeme #countryhumansship #countryhumansargchi #argchi (...🗿) #countryhumansgreenland #countryhumangreenland #countryhumansantarctica #countryhumanantarctica (stay safe out there you two,,,) #countryhumansgreenlandxantarctica #countryhumansart #countryhumansdrawing #countryhumansfanart #countryhumansartwork #country #art #digitalart #fanart #drawing #medibang #medibangpaint #artistsoninstagram (at Felling Happy and Wonderful) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgn3f4BpyJF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[flingza-roller]

Sorry if this is bad timing, but I just saw your post about lorikeet and I love them! Could you tell me a bit more about them and your other splatoon OCs?

OHO YES! there is no such thing as bad timing to ask about ocs, im just incredibly happy that somebody is interested!! heheh time to Ramble (this is long sorry)

ok so im gonna stick to the bird kids cuz theyre a lot easier to explain GSJFD (maybe someday ill give my other ocs refs and backstory stuff....)

all four of em are very much based off how i play the game as each character, so i pretty much just grab my in-game behaviour and give it to em as a personality.

so, lorikeet! splat3 is still very new but i think ive somehow already solidified their personality lmao. theyre super reckless, pretty much always falling off stages and getting themself splatted by doing stupid things like running headfirst to a tacticooler or trying to challenge the eliter that wont leave them alone (i think mahi-mahi is the absolute worst for this). they like to go a little bit cazy and get as many kills as possible, which is silly when the only mode u play is turf war... (on that, there is not a single splatoon game that has gotten me to like ranked/league. i played it a few times and then swore off it, so now all four of the kids hate ranked lol)

lori fucking ADORES deep cut so theyve got the three earrings in their right ear bc they wanna be like shiver and frye. on deep cut, they love splatfests and all the music n fun stuff that comes with it. theyre weirdly not too competitive when it comes to defending their team, BUT they will go extra feral during splatfest turf wars and go complete beast mode. they still dont have a main weapon? favours brushes but thats pippins thing so they should probably pick something else GDKGS

oh they have the worst adhd brain. if they see something cool happening in the bg of a stage they will just straight up stop in their tracks and watch for a while, completely oblivious to whatever is happening in the match. and of course the moment they hear the tacticooler they will run for it even if theyre literally in the opposite end of the stage.... stupid. favourite stage is yet to be decided, gotta let the game marinate for a while longer

as the new agent 3 lori is pretty good at following orders, they just kinda... die in the dumbest possible ways. trying to jump through walls, walking straight off ledges, accidentally attracting attention to themself by throwing lil buddy right next to them. but theyre pretty good at fighting! also they like annoying the captain, because of course (this doesnt bode well for kiwi)

id like to build more on their character eventually but that requires me playing more splat3 and ive been rly unmotivated to do so >:/ ive barely played any salmon run and still havent touched table turf. augh. lori u will grow as a person i promise

now PIPPIN! (she/they) theyre my kid from octo expansion! shes very silly but surprisingly strong and skilled. never asked for help from OTH and went through every single test multiple times to get every weapon ticked (hell). also enjoys fighting inner agent 3 because ??? clearly a lot more competent than theyre letting on.

so once pip came to the surface they were very much like "id rather NOT do the whole fighting thing again" and jumped into turf wars with the intention of just having fun and messing with people. her gear set is 100% QSJ cuz she likes annoying the enemy team and then jumping away like a coward when theyre cornered (it jumpscares people bc they dont expect an octo to jump THAT fast).

she uses brush so that they can draw love hearts in enemy base :] they think its very cute and gets sad when ppl ink over it. also if an enemy tries to initiate a party they will always join bc make love not war etc. always goes for the highest inkage (highest score excluding win points was over 2000) favourite stage is inkblot art academy!

zero sense of fashion btw they either wear the QSJ gear or whatever they think will make her look hot (big fan of the octoling armour and marinas crop top). sometimes changes gender to Boy bc why the hell not, gender is arbitrary.

when grouped up with the others, they like teaming up with pigeon to cause chaos and havoc. shes very excited to see lori joining the team cuz theyre equally as insane as the other two! kiwi is the only one carrying a braincell here rip

PIGEON time!! (also she/they) technically my first oc because splatoon 2 was my first game! so she definitely has the most going for them. foil flingza main (my beloved), absolutely a frontliner and goes for the kill as much as possible. very good at sneak attacks! main gear is almost entirely special charge up (sorry. im the og missile spammer) except for ninja squid which they use to scare the shit outta ppl.

pigeon adores the birds u see hanging out on various stages, especially the pigeons (naturally). favourite stage is moray towers! i never said we had good taste. moray is excellent for roller users and allows for fast clean base inking >:]

like the others they love a good squid party but isnt always in the mood, HOWEVER she will never splat an innocent partier bc thats a dick move. if theyre not a threat, theres no need to splat.

outside of turf, pigeon is actually not a very violent person. very sweet to their friends and oh so very lesbian. she sees a pretty girl in the square and goes 😳 (btw this DOES work in battle, be a cute girl and they will be distracted). fucking absolutely obsessed with squid beatz like you have no idea, aims to get gold on every hard mode song. favourite songs to play are frantic aspic, shark bytes, and entropical. she and pippin love playing games like this together, i bet theyd be great dance duo.

in hero mode, pigeon is naturally a completionist and obtained every weapon. fucking loves harassing marie and annoying her as much as possible. adores callie so much <3 their best speedrun time is 40 sec on octo samurai (sadly cant reach the world record of 39)

unlike pippin they actually have a pretty good fashion sense, always coordinating their outfits and ink colour to match. a very stylish squid!

now kiwi is an interesting one. i first played splatoon 1 in beginning of 2018, so sadly i missed out on the splatfests. still got plenty of turf in and played hero mode repeatedly bc i have brainrot!

so kiwi (again. she/they) is really into amiibo challenges, especially the kraken challenge. being a kraken for that long makes em feel powerful, and its lotsa fun. they actually spend far more time on hero missions than anything else, they enjoy turf on the occasion but find it weirdly intimidating (favourite stage is flounder heights!). she feels most at home in the valley, with craig and the squid sisters. theyre far too sympathetic toward octolings (unlike pigeon who just goes fucking ham) and tries her best to just avoid fighting them entirely. because of this, shes pretty good at stealth missions, especially since she rarely makes much noise anyway. theyre definitely the most low-key out of the four agents.

SO!! why do i name them all after birds? because.... i like birds :D yes im a wannabe ornithologist and birds are my main special interest. i also mainly name them after aus/nz birds cuz im just Like That. we have cool birds in australia, and lorikeet was just far too fitting to pass up. (btw pippin is short for peregrine falcon)

despite being so skilled in hero mode missions they do actually get hurt a lot and almost always has some kind of bandaid or gauze on her body from various injuries. is it a lack of skill, or just recklessness? hmmm (its definitely just because she doesnt take enough care of their body lol).

if kiwi were to be captain in splatoon 3, theyd definitely be just constantly scruffing new 3 by the collar to stop them from doing something stupid. is very afraid of a new idiot joining the gang, as if pip n pidge werent bad enough. all 4 as a splatfest team would definitely be the most chaotic thing possible.

also theyre this way because when i draw squirds (tagged on my blog as "wings au") i think its fun to see how different they all look! kiwi would certainly be more fitting as a bird of prey but i think they look so silly with the stubby wings so im not changing my mind. this does mean shes real fast at running! pip and lori are the fastest flyers, pigeon is just kinda in between rip

final note, theyre all at LEAST 18 just so that its not weird. they all use she/they except lori, whos exclusively they/them. they all fucking hate ranked but love hero missions. also all of them have 1 braincell bouncing between them (mainly held by kiwi)

if u managed to read this far, thanks for ur time!! ill eventually draw all these silly bird kids together as squirds, i think itd be fun.