#still dont excercise as i should.

[gonfrees]

sometimes I miss who I used to be. I used to be a cool, wild person who would do anything you dared them to do. I would eat maybe once a day with no consequence for my energy levels. I'd smoke cigarettes every day and stay up late and wake up early and I would create. I would take risks, I'd do things for fun instead of taking care of myself. I was carefree and I mourn for all those cooler, more fun parts of me.

now I eat consistently. I try to take vitamins. I drink plenty of water in a day. If I don't get enough sleep or drink too much I'm starting to feel it. I haven't smoked in a year and a half (cigs, I still do weed). I'm not as spontaneous and I like to be at home a lot. Let myself be known and have a wonderful partner for the last 3 years. While I love and miss who I used to be and all the things I can do, I'm proud that I've started some healthier habits. I still have issues and need better habits but looking back I can say I've grown. I've gained weight which sometimes bothers me but I can look in the mirror and say that is a healthy body. She eats bad foods sometimes but she also tries to get her nutrients. Maybe one day I'll feel grown up. Loving yourself is hard and I think it's easy to romanticise who I used to be. Cool and didn't need anyone, but had a lot of friends I wasn't tryely open with. Growing up is weird, 25 is a weird age.

[itsseriouslyridiculous]

I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.

[m0e-ru]

annual realization where this gas station’s operations and my life owe it all to visualive i’m serious

[txttletale]

idk if you wanted a response for the "What if nobody likes xyz person, do they just die?" idea under anarchist thought, but i think the reason it's brushed off so often is because in a lot of areas with mutual aid networks, at least in my experience, this has happened and either there were people involved who didn't mind the shitty person and helped or everyone gritted their teeth to help anyway.

i don't have an answer to "Well what if they dont", because that hasn't ever been an issue in any anarchist collective ive been in that already exists. same with more strenuous tasks like medicine, there's some diy hrt communities in my local anarchist community too and specifically our bathtub joe has delivered hormones to her rapist with the protection of a few people she trusts and a pocket knife if they tried anything.

i don't know if a lot of anarchists interact with you in good faith, and a lot of tumblr anarchists are baby leftists at best, so i wanted to answer even if your reply to this was dismissive

to be clear: i know and talk to a lot of cool anarchists, including friends and mutuals and comrades. the vast majority of anarchists i know -- "the best of the anarchists", as lenin once put it -- are serious and intelligent people worth enaging with, and while capitalism remains the order of the day, my political allies.

that said, i think you've slightly misunderstood the point i was making -- i was not discussing the bathtub joe situation to say "no hierarchy means people die, checkmate anarchists" -- i'm sure my hypothetical scenario could be resolved happily! rather, it is to illustrate that in a system with no formal hierarchy, there are going to be material and mechanical reasons that put someone in a position of de facto authority over someone else. if you get something that you need to survive from someone (or a group of someones) that person has power over you -- & if you Live In A Society, you will always need things from other people to survive. even if they don't excercise that power maliciously, it still exists.

& maybe that isn't an intractable problem! but i think anarchists need to start from a position of acknowledging that power is real when they talk about how things should be organized & i think they very often don't

[shewreckz]

Hey your art is pretty whimsical and radical my gender non specific broseph, per chance would thou be able to enlighten us on how you draw such bodacious fine art? Like how you draw bodies and fave and what have thee. (Fr tho your art really cool and I'd like to see how you make it)

okay i have whipped up a quick little visual of my thought process while drawing!! it might not be the best cause im not the greatest at teaching but if anyones curious ^_^

first lets start with how i draw bodies

a lot of people like to do the "skeleton" method which is where you draw lines and circles to plan out where the limbs should be. honestly i really dislike doing that because i like to always have volume and shape in mind when drawing bodies, but if it works for you thats great.

instead i separate the body into different pieces, kinda like an articulated doll. i think it helps visualize all the moving parts in a 3d space and makes posing and perspective a lot easier. i can also always add the detailed anatomy on top of this basic model like you see on the left. its always important to work from simple -> complex. drawing a pose while being too worried on anatomy will really hinder your drawing process.

to improve doing this it really just takes practice and observation. i could be here all day talking about proportions, and how many heads high a person is, and each specific muscle group, but i reccomend you go and watch videos and study professional artists on your own. as someone who has been drawing and studying these things for so long, i barely think about how many heads high a person is when im drawing a body. its kind of like learning how to play and instrument or driving a car. it becomes second nature eventually, but you have to apply those skills and work through that period of time where youre still trying to program it into your brain.

after you get a hang of the basics you can take this basic model and draw all types of body shapes with it. i say its always important to play around with making your body types diverse. its not only fun to do but helps make all the characters you draw unique and recognizable. (dont be like vivziepop).

dynamic posing can be the hardest thing to master for a lot of people. the best way to learn how to pose is to not think about it too much and just doing it. for example in my figure drawing class we had to sketch out gesture drawings from a picture in 15 seconds. excercises like that help a ton in making you feel more comfortable when drawing from a reference. you should definitely reference a LOT when it comes to poses, it helps build this visual database so that eventually you can get to the point where you can just draw accurate and dynamic poses from memory. after getting to this point eventually you kind of start thinking of your canvas as this tangible 3d space and considering your characters in 3d space helps make the poses feel a lot more realistic and interesting.

ok now a quick little tour into how i draw different faces yaaaayy!!!1!1!1

main thing with my art is that i LOVEEE drawing dynamic face shapes i think its so important to avoid drawing the same slim faces over and over. shape language plays a big role into this. like for example the face on the middle is more square, the one on the left is more oval and the one on the right is more circle. shape language helps communicate so much about your character without even saying a word about them and just helps differentiate people from a glance.

facial features also play a huge role into making your faces different. these are all drawn from the same exact face shape but look like entirely different characters by adding variety in the features. different noses, eye shapes, lips, etc. can make such a huge difference

i think before any of that its important to learn the anatomy of the face though. again im not gonna go into how many eyes wide a face it or how far the nose is from the mouth but like its always important to learn the fundamentals before stylizing stuff. again the face is a 3d space and if you dont consider your face a 3d plane the features will kind of just look like theyre floating on your characters face like soup...theres a lot of great resources and tutorials online take advantage of those!!! and reference from artists you like too it helps a ton.

and then you mix that all together and Boom you have cool and interesting faces. you will best that same face syndrome in no time if you take my advice Trust...

anyways yeah thats the soda design philosophy hit that like button if you liked it or douse me with tomatoes and kick me off the stage if you think i give bad advice ill leave the decision up to you

[fipindustries]

in art there is an inherent tension between nature and nurture. is the conflict between those simple executions that are known to work, that stimulate base parts of our sensorioum and brain and thus of massive appeal, easy to grasp and enjoy; against things that are dense in technique, and concept, for which one has to develop a language, a technical understanding and a taste, hermetic and not easy to grasp at once.

i think most of the public expects most art to fall on the first cathegory to some degree or another. a painting should look "pretty", whatever pretty means, a song should be "catchy", food should be "tasty", a joke should be "funny", a movie should be "entertaining". either way, the point is that art should "feel good" or rather it should "click" in a quick sensory way. that when you watch a movie its quality should be as immediatly appreciable as when you eat a good meal. and when they hear experts try to explain more advanced pieces they are expecting to hear an explination that makes it so that those advnaced pieces stimulate those simple buttons that more simple stuff so easily satisfies. but of course they never get that, instead they get a bunch of theory that does nothing to make the art any closer in a purely sensorial way.

the idea that in order to appreciate something one has to first develop an understanding or appreciation of it feels counter intuitive, it feels like enjoying art with extra steps, you have to force yourself to extract joy out of something (which is not a pleasant experience, there is always that frustration of the excercise not feeling genuine, not feeling true and emotionally potent, it feels like an affectation) in order to extract the joy and entertainment that one could get much easier from something more direct and simple.

for some people having fun listenting to a catchy jingle made with the classic 4 chords or eating a nice chocolate cake feels more "natural" than listening to prog rock or reading infinite jest. its almost teleological. our tongues were Made to enjoy sugar, that is how things are meant to be because that is how nature designed us. in a sense the studying of art techniques is basically the analisis and compilation of the formulas that work, of the buttons that one has to press to stimulate the human animal in the correct way. we know how the pentatonic scale works, on almost a biological level, we have color theory, we have composition, we understand the three act structure.

so one might ask, why even bother with the weirder stuff, the stuff that is hard to appreciate? the stuff that we kind of have to shape ourselves into enjoying? its artificial, its purely a social construct. is not real, humans were not made for this.

well, the truth is, humans are much more versatile than that, and whilst we are all born with some basic buttons that anyone can push to satisfy, it is also in our nature the capacity to develop more buttons, more complex and intricate. buttons that start to crave for layers, for nuance, for the weird and ecclectic and unique. people DO develop a taste for special, particular old wines that were cultivated in such and such a way, people DO get a lot of meaning from the works of john cage, people DO have fun reading ulysses and these things are not necesarily an affectation. and this is a process that will happen on its own the more we are exposed to more and more art.

i do want to clarify, i dont believe in teleological arguments or appeals to nature. even if that last paragraph wasnt the case, that wouldnt change anything for me, but still, it is the case and i think its worth being said.

now, a lot of people see the developing of their taste as a challenge or an obligation, which can make it an imposition and rob the enjoyment out of it. god knows i forced myself to watch some movies simply because i thought they were the kinds of movies i was supposed to like if i wanted to consider myself a cinephile. i dont think this is a good approach, experiment and push yourself out of your comfort zone, yes, that is how you discover new things. but dont force yourself to stay there if its just not doing it for you. i came to terms with the fact i will probably never understand pollock no matter how many of his paintings i see or how much i study on the subject. but i have come to discover i do like donna tart's the goldfinch quite a lot.

and this doesnt go just for the higher forms of art, try those "trashy" things that come from spaces that are not your scene at all. i was convinced i was never going to be able to enjoy cumbia or trap or bachata and yet i kept my ears open and ended up finding songs in all of those genres that i cant stop listenting to. there are so many buttons inside of you and you dont know what is going to press of of them by surprise one of these days.

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[tomatoart]

mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great 

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light  

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL” 

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

[sharpiedoodleee]

hiiii so. i know im an art blog or whatever but this is something i was possessed to write a little bit ago thats been gathering dust in my drafts for a long while now. ive got a lot of half finished art wips that im not entirely sure im going to go back to so i thought youd enjoy Some kind of content

just dont get used to it, im not a writer :)

SSKK: feelings realisation, ffffluff (?), atsushi's somehow undiagnosed PTSD, (slight) panic attack

I swear it's happier than it sounds

= S I N N E R =

“you’re a mess”

“i am not a mess-“

“ryuu, i can tell you’ve been crying”

that makes him pause, faltering a step before tutting and looking off to the side. damned jinko and his tiger senses.

“before you ask i wasn't on about your- very obvious, by the way, you should work on that- about your breathing. although, it is really concerning-“

“jinko-“

“what? you wheeze on a good day akutagawa and you and i both know it”

ryuunosuke glares.

atsushu sighs, removing his hands from his hips and letting the reactionary tension bleed from his shoulders. this is getting him nowhere. he twirls his aching wrists, clenching and unclenching his hands in that way he knows akutagawa would normally snap at him for had he not be so busy trying to keep himself upright. he sighs again

“just-“ atsushi softens his tone, careful to keep the concern out of his voice “show me. where you’re injured.” at the scathing look akutagawa diegns him with, it seems he wasn't careful enough. atsushi clenches his jaw and breathes in through his nose. he never thought listening to kunikidas breathing excercises would come in handy for him - he likes to think hes a fairly calm person, but getting akutagawa to take care of himself would break even the most patient man.

he rolls his eyes “seriously, i could smell the blood on you before i could see you ,ryuu. im just really hoping its all yours”

ryuunosuke huffs a quiet “you’re such a bitch” that startles a incredulous laugh from atsushi. the tiger watches as the other man groans in defeat and lets himself sink to the floor; bracing against the brick behind him and clutching at his seemingly still bleeding side. if the weretiger is going to be so needlessly invasive he may as well rest, ryuunosuke muses, its not like the jinko hasnt seen him in worse conditions. he cringes away memories of a fleeting confession at sea, bleeding out infront of the detective again probably isnt the appropriate time to talk about it.

atsushi stops, squints, reassessing the mafioso “unless youve broken our promise-“

“alright- i messed up, jinko. is that what you wanted to hear? who knew you were such a fucking sadist-” he growls, annoyed now that the weretiger is still so untrusting of him “but i am not so imprudent as to keep my mistakes from you- seeing as that detective agency has finally taught you how to use that brain of yours” he doesnt bother to keep the bitterness out of his tone, they have both said and done much worse to each other after all. he leans back, ignoring his aching body’s protests and meets the weretigers now raised brow.

ryuunosuke sighs and goes lax against the wall, closing his eyes. fucking jinko…

“i have done a lot of shit in my life, jinko, but never once have i lied to you. i havent broken our promise and i wont. you should know this by now, you fool.”

the weretiger twitches, the name seemingly triggering something as his gaze slides off of ryuunosukes eyes and down to his neck. as the silence drags on the older opens his eyes, furrowing his brow as he takes in the jinkos frozen frame. His pupils are near pinpricks, jittering in the confides of his iris as his body is wracked with tremors. hes alarmingly silent, even as the tears overflow and begin to stream down his cheeks, even as his face contorts unattractively and his breathing speeds up. he wraps his arms around himself and ryuunosuke begrudgingly drags himself to his feet once again.

“…jinko?”

…

no response.

ryuunosuke blinks, the weretiger better not be fucking with him. he takes a tentative step forward, raising his palms placatingly from around his side and coiling rashomon around himself to hopefully keep his innards in, gods willing.

“atsushi…can you hear me?”

as he approaches he realises that atsushis now vacant gaze is still fixed to the wall ryuunosuke was sat against, seemingly caught on a ghost only he can see. hes yet to react to his aproach. doesnt seem to have noticed him move at all, really. and isnt that unusual? for someone who was just bitching about being able to hear every weary breath ryuunosuke took, the weretiger is alarmingly still. too struck by whatever horror his mind has conjured up this time to be aware of his surroundings, ryuunosuke imagines.

how the detective agency are still so seemingly oblivious to the weretigers plight ryuunosuke doesnt know.

but its not like he cares about the jinko.

…right?

shaking his head, the mafioso pushes that train of thought away and braces himself. if the jinko hadnt literally just been questioning his integrity as a partner he wouldve probably felt more guilty for what hes about to do, hes aware its horribly unorthodox. if his sibling knew of this they would surely have his head but its not like he has many options seeing as atsushi is near narcose. it may be brutish and harsh, even cruel to some,

but it works.

ryuunosuke taps the still quivering shoulder of the tiger and is unsuprised when that impassive gaze snaps to him with a mildly concerning crack of the jinkos neck. when that achingly familiar glow halos the alley in blue ryuunosuke sucks in a breathe and drops himself as low as he can to the sticky concrete below. his vision swims from the sudden movement and he can feel rashomon tighten her grip on his still bleeding wound, unsure if it was him who told her to or simply a byproduct of his coats concern.

he laughs deliriously. his coat is concerned but his supposed partner just tried to gut him? what a world he lives in…

gods, he hopes the tiger doesnt fancy a brawl in this tight, urine soaked alley. ryuunosuke is barely clinging to his conscious as it is.

when no second blow befalls his now prone body though, he chances a look up and immediately regrets it.

atsushi is staring at him now, his eyes glassy and overflowing with tears that smear his flushed face and nearly glitter in the dull light of the alley. hes clearly attempting to reaquaint himself with reality, stanced as he is over ryuunosukes unprotected form. his arm is still half raised from attacking him; cheap, flimsy shirt lifting to reveal smooth, tan skin…the mafioso laments over his own sickly figure as his eyes are glued to the rippling muscle hiding under there. a sheen of sweat is dripping down atsushis prominent hip bone that ryuunosuke wants to follow with his tongue. his eyes dragging down the shimmering silver happy trail he can just about see in the dying light of the alley.

…fuck.

ryuunosuke quickly looks back down at the floor, suddenly intent on examining the splatter of bird shit infront of him, lest his eyes rake any lower then they already have.

see, ryuunosukes not a fool. he knows he has…feelings to the tiger. it took a lot of reluctant, midnight rants with Gin to get there but he knows. the part of this thats blindsiding him is the all consuming, almost animalistic wave of desire this prediciment has sent careening through his bloodstream. its really not the time, but ryuunosukes never cared for things like that - you cant when you live a life like his. but that lack of practice at reeling himself in is really starting to kick him in the ass. the blood loss is not helping. rashomon is tacky from seeping up the evidence of his failure and ryuunosuke is just beginning to realise a lot of that moisture should be inside him. any remaining bloodflow is joyfully re-directing itself in a more unsavoury direction and ryuunosuke is increasingly glad hes laid himself flat on the concrete floor. his head is killing him.

throughout this whole process Atsushi is still just staring down at him, blinking rather aggressively as he processes what the fuck just happened.

…ryuunosukes really not sure how he manages to get himself in these situations.

[sunset-bridge]

Hey😎

What is Sergio’s opinion on all the phantom thieves and.. idk what is his favourite food!

hi snowball-maltese ur nooooot gonna believe me but i literally never fucking saw your asks??? LIKE.. theres other asks in my inbox and i remember those but i never saw yours??? WTFF. they spontaneously generated today in between the other old asks im keeping...

tumblr.................. why did you eat these then vomit them back out today : ( sad

HEHEH ANYWAYS hi.. oh my godddd. um. well now im ashamed of answering HJDFJND BUT OK under the cute cut

Sergio favourite food: potato tacos

Sergio opinions on the Phantom thieves:

Mona : He thinks hes cute because he looks like a cute cat and sergio likes cute things and cats. Thinks he is charming. Tries to treat him like any other person despite how adorabubble he is. He starts thinking of him as his big brother naturally later on, he really trusts him and tells him things he doesnt tell anyone else, asks him for advice on his problems and thoughts and yeah really values his opinions.

Ann: He figured she was a Loud girl at first without even talking to her, he doesnt have a neutral opinion on women in general tbh so bad start, but as soon as they became friends and he heard her talk about what happened and how angry and frustrated she was he was like.. woaghhhh. no way.

Sergio has historically never been good at talking/making friends with girls or has had much of an interest in doing so, he mostly avoided them, so idk it seems stupid but he was like... woag. At first Sergio in his mind is like. WELL ANN is cool because SHES NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS nope shes COOL AND REAL unlike the Other GIRLS (sergio turn around) BSDDVJBJFVJ. dont worry he figures it out later.

Anywho he thinks shes awesome and so nice to him and he admires how dedicated she is and how she tries to be upbeat but does worry about her and encourages her to break things if angry. Goes on her shopping trips even if he actually hates shopping because he loves Ann. Is encouraging about the things Ann wants to do but still tells her when theyre a bit silly (like in her social link where she sets impossible things to do hahah). Likes talking about more emotional things with her because he feels embarassed to talk about those things with the Boys (sergio turn around again)

Ryuji: Thought he was a bit strange, annoying at first. Just barging in and making him get involved in weird shit. But like with Ann he starts talking to him and they become buddies because they encourage their silly activities. He feels angry for ryuji and what happened to him; he thinks he should kill everyone in the track team actually/j .

Likes spending time with him, he appreciates that ryuji seems to understand him and likes to have fun with him running and excercising and playing videogames etcc. Bro bonding. They do mischievious activities together.

hes so fun to be around and sergio loves how hes such a kind person despite everything : ). They make stupid jokes together. Ryuji stops sergio from killing people sometimes. See, Sergio is like a Bro Character but hes the leader and also he has poor impulse control and is very angry.

Yusuke: He adores Yusuke he thinks hes so talented and everything he does is literally a masterpiece (hes right)

At first yusuke came off as a bit strange and aloof, but sergio was an instant fan as soon as he saw his work LOL. Yusuke appreciates the support. Sergio really admires and respects yusuke, even when he does “weird” things its like. Well its yusuke so. Yusuke = cool, then thing = cool as well right ??!!! normal

Lets Yusuke hug him even if he doesnt like hugs .

Makoto: Sergio thinks at first shes uptight, too serious, no fun, a snitch. I guess hes not wrong per se but ..

He was sooo mean to her at first when makoto hadnt joined the thieves and was spying them LOL. He did feel very sorry later and begrudgingly apologized along with ann and ryuj.

Nowadays he thinks mako is pretty cool, super smart and super strong. he still thinks she should let loose more, have more fun. He recognizes how hard she had it before joining. She appreciates how cunning she is. He had a playfight with her but sergio fights like a rabid animal and mako actually knows aikido . Im not sure if it continued but their fighting styles and what they look for in a fight are so different it didnt work out too well : ( sad. its ok.

Fuba: Fuba is like Sergios little sis : ). He wasnt sure if they should do something at first when the situation came up but he realized fuba was acting kinda like him before, isolating and being angry and sad etc... felt fucked up to not do something or try to help but he didnt want to be super pushy about it because he knew how he felt and how he didnt appreciate anyone who tried to drag him around even if they had good intentions. But yeah his friends made him realize how they ahd kinda pulled him out of a hole too at the beginning and he figured everyone could use a chance like that..

He really cares for her and tries to spend a lot of time with her, play anything she wants and watch her funny animes etc. He absolutely plays along with every game; he has a lot of fun too hes so silly as well. They bully eachother lovingly hehe. Hes willing to accompany her everywhere but i guess he realizes he wont be there for her forever so tries to gently push her a bit to be more independent.

Sees something about himself in her, although different. He tries to be someone that Younger Sergio would have appreciated in his life.

Haru: Sergio respects her a lot and thinks shes super kind perhaps too much.

He tries acting more serious or polite etc at first with her but haru ofc notices and is like. sergio its ok you can be yourself : ).

He still doesnt really act with her like he does with the others because idk theres this enormous barrier of respect that it seems unprope to act like that with her.. She IS sergios friend he just finds it super hard to be casual with her completely.

They like gardening together and showing eachother their plant children so thats something where they can be ever so slightly more relaxed in. I wonder if haru feels sad that sergio doesnt dare act casual or be himself in front of her like the others : ( He super appreciates whenever haru gifts him something unprompted etc.

Sumi: Sergio doesnt know sumi that well. He just thinks shes a cool , super kind girl whos very talented , polite. He always treated her really nicely. I think he enjoys the tyoe of respect he gets from Sumi even if its embarassing sometimes hahah since he feels she gets a different perspective of him ahah. He starts acting more casual in 3rd sem etc but theres also a barrier of respect here like with haru. Its more like.. welll sumi .. she thinks im cool and responsible i.. must fulfill that...

Goro: Well .. we already know LOL right sunset-bridgers?

He is someone so fucking cool in sergios eyes. He considers him his worthy rival and admires him a lot ; hes just so damn cool, talented, smart , strong.. it kinda feels like he always knows whats he doing and even if he makes a mistake sergio finds it charming.

He used to feel envious and jealous of him for having thigs he didnt and apparently being much more succesful in general. But ofc things happen.. he realizes things werent as simple as they seemed and how goro felt quite similar to him.

He really appreciates how they seem to see things similarly. have a similar world view so they can understand eachother easily and talk soo sososo much. Like.. wow hell yeah this guy gets what im saying yeah finally. guy who can keep up with me in snarky convos. Guy who likes to play the same silly challenges as me. Guy who fights with me and is strong as hell so we are matched. In goro he finds someone who likes him to his core; sees right thru his disguise and is interested in spending time with real Sergio. He takes him seriously. No one takes sergio so seriously or seems to give such weight to his words....

He feels very free with him.

[voidselfshipp]

Late night coffee talks

Cw:ask to tag. Herc being a boomer and not beliving in self care/lh. Mentions of anxiety but thats about it.

Summary: late night coffee talks with jerico leave tendo confronting his own issues.

A/n: this GIF goes so well. AND THATS TENDO TOO! goes so well lmao.

->Only mutuals allowed to reblog.

♡Lovely Taglist: @tex-treasures @malewifepatrickbateman @mercuryships

--Do you want some coffee?-- Tendo asked to Jerico, who was half asleep on his desk.

--Cant. Anxiety -- she replied

--Right. Tea, then?

She nodded and he got to work on brewing some tea for her-- you know you dont gotta stay here late, you can go to bed

--And let you all alone in here? No thanks-- jeri replied, relaxing into his Office chair.

--Hows herc handling the whole Marshall thing?-He asked, serving some hot water on a Cup.

--Well, hes glad its only momentaraley-- she replied-- but hes not handling it as well as he makes it look

--Stress?

--Yup-- jerico confirmed-- im doing the best I can with organizing stuff for him, hes a soldier through and through so without schedules...

--He falls appart-- tendo finished-- here, sweetheart

She took the warm Cup of tea and said-- exactly,and thank you

--No problem, so, 'bout those schedules?

--Ah, nothing outta the ordinary, bedtimes, meal breaks, work hours, the works

--I bet hes really gratefull-- the Man said grabbing her free hand.

--ive also given him a forty minute break to check in with himself yknow? Stretch, do breathing and grounding excercises

--He hates it, doesnt he?

--Yeah-- both chuckle-- he says hes "perfectly fine" and that "he doesnt need to do that self care thing" Because hes going to "get through it like a man", but I have seen him do them

--well hes an older generation-- he agreed-- no wonder he thinks like that

--Bravery, testosterone and aussie unhingedness, thats Hercules Hansen for ya

Tendo lets out a prolongued snort while hes drinking his coffee making him almost choke-- honestly, thats him alright, but hes a good guy

--Yeah he is, hes a very good guy, hes just emotionally constipated, arent we all though?

Both share a laugh in agreement, Tendo caresses the back of jeri's hand with his thumb-- hows ol' Chuck doing?

--Hes still going to his check ups,luckily hes raditation free and though he pouts like a child he doesnt miss any of his therapy sessions or medical appointments

--i said it once and ill say it again, itll always baffle me how you managed to not only make the hansens get along, but finally learn some emotionall inteligence

--hey Man,Takes one to know one-- she added-- I went down that same road, with some differences of course

--Between you and me? I think they are just very soft for you, but im glad those two are gettin' some help -- he said taking a sip from his coffee.

-- tell me about it, how they survived up to this Point is a mystery for the ages

He snickered-- nature finds a way!-- jerico laughed at the Jurassic Park reference, squeezing his hand.

--And what about you? How are you feeling?

Tendo snorts into his coffee, being taken off guard-- I uhm...not the most stressed ive been but stressed...

--Maybe you should indulge in some self care?

He looked away nervously-- ah its karma isnt it? I make fun of Herc and now im in the same spot as he is...-- tendo sighs-- its just--

--I have a lot of work to do and its very important-- both say at the same time.

--What?! -- he exclaims.

--Heard it from herc time and time again -- jerico explained sitting on the Mans lap, hands caressing his face-- you havent been taking care of yourself huh?

--airing out all of my dirty rags huh?

She giggled and said-- take some deep breaths for me, okay? Close your eyes

He obliged and started to breathe in deeply, focusing on the feeling of her hands smoothing over his face to his neck.

Tendo lets out a soft exhale and relaxes his body-- better?

--Yeah. thanks, Doll

--whenever you need me, finish this and we can go to bed

Jerico ended falling asleep against him, and he carried her to his bedroom. Maybe he could sleep some more before returning to work.

[theuniverseawakens347]

That’s the other thing I’m sooo tired of seeing in the fitness industry

You turn to it for your reasons ( which are shit in the long run - ur mental and physical injuries training like a high schooler coach) THEN GOT THE AUDACITY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU GON COACH EM TO A BETTER BODY

N PUMP ENHANCERS!?? And NOT GET THEM THE RESULTS THEY WANTED - HAPPINESS W THEIR BODY - UR MISSING THAT W YOURS THATS WHY UR WORKING OUT 6 HRS A DAY STARVING AND BARING WEIGHT YOU SHOULD NOT BE LIMPING AND INJURIES IF YOU REALLY COACHED URSELF PROPERLY.

T.hoow you over training for views but doing THE SAME DUMBASS EXCERCISES AND TAKING ENHANCERS FOR WATER WEIGHT GAINS - WHAT DOCTOR OR Lawyer gon TELL HER STOP THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE FOR VIEWS AND SELF HARMING - MID BACK INJURIES OBVIOUS AND PULLED HAMSTRING GROIN RIGHT LEFT LEG .. - BOUGH LEGGED = STRENGTH N CONDITIONING BUT NOT NARROW WEIGHT PULLING // LIFTING .. - NO BUTT BUT ALL THEM THIGHS BUTT UR GOAL WAS A BUT …

WHY YOU ONE ARM CLEAN JERKING DAMN NEAR 100lbs in the gym - “to flex on the guy sitting on the floor and taking care of supporting exterior and interior muscles reducing HIS INJURIES WHILE I get tennis elbow but tell my clients , I GOT YOU”

- YEAH A SICK FUCKING JOKE. DANNY TERRY FITNESS

You want to inspire someone to move COOL DO IT WHEN YOU STOP INJURING UR SELF AND STOP SAYING YOU GON COACH SOMEONE JUST FOR SOME DAMN MONEY - you half way care to do em right YO RENT N BILLS TAKE PRECEDENCE-WHEN YOU CHEAT YOURSELF YPU CHEAT OTHERS - YOU TWO FUCKTARD DAD .. yo damn drinking and elbow CUZ WHY YOU DONT SAY FUCK LEE N HOWARD N SEND SOMEONE TO GET ME MISTER WWE GET BACK - BIG HEAD SMALL EGO - U MISSING HAMSTRINGS BITCH ASS.

You did all this dad to get back at a nigga who got much worse on his plate and the body aesthetic YOU GOT BUT STILL MISSING VITAL SUPPORT AROUND YO BUTT - “but it flex” - Torn groins still work huh IVF BALL MACHINE IDIOT WHY YOU BALD NOW - FOR DOING DUMB SHIT WHEN MOM TOLD YOU NOT TWO ASS WHITE - DARNIECE N WHITE LADY TWO .. why YOU GOT ALL FEMALE KIDS DUMBASS!? - I struggle w woman so I drink and workout 🫤🖕 IMA KICK YOU IN THE DICK SINCE THATS ALL YOU CARE ABOUT - THE YOUTH

FUCKTARD “the” ROCK IDIOT TALL ASS AMAZON NEANDERTHAL IDIOT.

[the-clues-that-are-bloos]

BEATSABER RAMBLE.

Okay so hi!

Welcome to my huge hyperfixation on beatsaber, the topic im ranting about today! or infodumping, im just gonna give a bunch of knowledge i have on it, why i like it, and most importantly, THE OST7. [i have absolutely no clue if there is a character limit, we will just have to see :>]

im adding a red more thingy because this is logn...

okay so so so beatsaber is a virtual reality game where. you pretty much slice blocks to rhythms! its a rhythm game, obviously something i would like, since. i really really like rhythms... anyways, its kinda like- if you remember the fruit ninja game, its kinda like that, except theyre blocks that are heading straight towards you. with arrows, that you have to slice with rhythms. it sounds odd now that i say it, but oh well-

Anyways, there are game modes that are the following: Easy, Normal, Hard, Expert, and Expert+. I typically play on expert+, but for some songs by camilla, i sometimes have to play on expert. Camilla is an artist featured on beatsaber, and their songs are generally the 'boss' songs you could say! I really like their songs [even though they frusterate me sometimes...] and theyre amazing! I personally started on normal mode around? June last year with the song Crab Rave!! I think i got really obsessed around that point and sat there on a singular song for about an hour just trying to get this one song up to expert for no reason actually-

Back to the levels, one thing ive notice about them is that different techniques are typically added whenever you advance a level! i dont know off the top of my head about the jump from easy to normal since i never really? played on easy, but i think from normal to hard, there are more cross overs? By that i mean that you cross your sabers to hit a double block or instead of hitting right hand blocks on the right side, they are on the left side! And im not! sure about hard to expert other than a speed difference and a few different repitive patterns, but on expert plus, its more chaotic you could say. Instead of repitive patterns that occur in different songs, its typically alot of chaos, though there are patterns in there, weaved in. I used to really hate expert plus because of that, since i relied HEAVILY on the pattens, but once i got the hang of it it was alright :>

I learned different techniques and habits either first hand or by watching other people play! You shouldnt move TOO MUCH once you get on really hard songs, as in, you shouldnt over exaggerate your swings and such. The reason is that the harder songs involve more excercise, and so youll get tired a whole lot quicker if you move more than necesarry. adding on to that, you should try and use your wrist to swing! you still can use your arms, but personally, i mainly use my wrists, especially for chain notes [idont know how to describe that pattern-] because it can be quicker in a way, and again, it limits movement! You should also take a huge advantage of the practice mode! Say that you are on this one song, and youre doing really good! except every single time you play it you mess up on this one part. With the pracctice tool, you can slow it down to a good pace where you can analyze the notes slowly, also at a specific part! ive taken great use of that tool, i use it quite frequently actually! i also tampered with my controllersettings in the game, changing the? position z i think, i turned it all the way up to 10cm, which moved them further away from my hands, which helped me alot, though different people have different preferable settings, and they also might not want to change it!

ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF MY LITTLE WEIRD TECHNICAL TALK, LETS TALK ABOUT THE NEW OST7.

So, today beatsaber released a new ost [original sound track]! This was actually really exciting because they hadnt released a new one in a long time, but in december, they released the ost6, and then they released the ost 7 today in a short time period!! now the ost7 is actually PHENOMINAL. The mapping is actually amazing, like the jump of mapping from the ost5 to the ost7 is insane. So the new songs in the ost7 are:

Damage by F.O.O.L

This one frusturates me specifically because of the odd patterns if has. its really weird and it should be easy, but its not. its odd, and while the song it amazing as well as the mapping, it frustuates me.... But overall its amazing and i love it so much!!!

Lustre by Camilla

ITS CAMILLA!!! i previously mentioned them, but they are generally the maker of the boss maps, which did not dissapoint in this new ost. I realllllly love it, and while i can only play it on expert, its amazing, the song is super cool, and overall, id say its my favorite in the ost!!!

The Master by Teminite x Boom Kitty

This one is really cool i really like the speech thats included in it!! Its pretty much the storyline of you fighting a villain or smth, with it saying your skills are good, and after the first chorus[sorta], it says something like im impressed, but can you beat this, and then if you finish that section, it? dies kinda- its silly and i like the mapping :>>>

Untamed by Linsdey Stirling

This is probably the easiest song in the ost! its really fin, i like the violin, and its cool! i dont really have much to say on it other than i got a full combo on it first try- [also that if gives me arg vibes....]

and last but not least, we have

World Wide Web by Nitro Fun

This one's patterns also frustrate me, but i rellly really like the song!! i dnt have too much ot say about it other than the fact that i died the first time i played it-

The OST7 also brought new lights to the game which were REALLY COOL!!!!

anyways i dont have too much else to say, so go watch this video of Lustre by Camilla on expert because its my favorite song, and i can play it full combo :>>

This song is easy, definitely not ht hardest i can play, but i really like it so!! :>>> [also i do realize there is alot of mistakes in the video, i watched it.]

anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk!

[goodgirlsdontkissandtell]

I think you should shave your head, go to an open field. Scream. Cry. Whatever release of energy you find satisfactory. Maybe run around. Then I’d like you to take a nap or rest in the grass for a just a little while. Later - if you are an experienced shoplifter - steal a little treat for yourself. Start a journal if you haven’t. Get rid of everything (optional). Make choices and smell the coffee. I want you to feel the most okay you can be.

you know what, i really like that! thank you so much! i still dont think im going full bald quite yet, but i will cut from my hair. and i have been wanting to scream for a few years now, maybe it is time. i cry an impressive amount already, i think it is one of my superpowers. a rest in the grass never fails to save my soul, so absolutely will do (once it stops raining). sadly, personally i dont excercise my rights to shoplifting, im planning on leaving that for even more desperate times, so ill just stick to buying some fruits. and i have been writing a journal for ages, but to be fair, i havent updated that for a while. ive been planning to pick up on it again, but i spent all my freetime writing for my own pleasure, so that kinda got pushed out of frame. i dont think that i will be getting rid of my belongings, but not a bad idea regardless. thank you again, i want that for me too! i will be trying in new ways, or old ways that i have forgotten about. hope the best for you. xx

[blissooya]

[WEVERSE] 231216 슝이🌹 update

Hi Blink! How is everyone doing?? It's really, really, really cold these days 🥶 You didn't catch a cold, right? I'm doing well by preparing for this and that and excercising from time to time! 😊 After seeing BLINKs every day and the tour is over it's weird. As it's become cold winter, I came here to play with BLINK because I remembered the Christmas market that I met every day during the tour! I'm here to shake off(?) the few photos I have!! I think I should take a lot of selfies from now on.. Anyway! I hope you all don't catch a cold and have a warm winter! I love you ♥️ P.S Cheers to your eyes... 🍻✨️

cr. xx_turtle_

👤 : Unnie did you see Rosé season greetings!?

🐰 : I was trying to take one but she didn't give it because she wanted give after signing it.. I'll receive it before next year right? haha

👤 : Jisooya!!! Was today not cold???? Be careful of getting a cold...🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

🐰 : It was suddenly snowing today..! It's so colddd 🥶

👤 : Unnie how much can you drink kekekeke

🐰 : kekekeke oh I found out I can drink beer well so beer is best(?)

👤 : Unnie did you set up a Christmas tree?

🐰 : No.. Ah last time I posted a tree on my story and Lisa also asked if I bought a tree kekeke That's from Korean Air..

👤 : Unnie didn't you say you were bad with alcohol? keke

🐰 : I don't know my alcohol tolerance so I'm finding out as I go.. But beer is just right for me.. I can drink a bit with beer!!!! 🍺😎

👤 : There's only 2 weeks left this year!!!! Jisoo unnie do you have a bucket list for 2024?!!

🐰 : I don't have any.. Just be healthy!! Health is best👍🏻

👤 : Chu I got into college!!!!! It's Chu's strength

🐰 : No it's because Blinks did great!! I'm not going to take credit from you. I'm just a helper(?)

👤 : Noona do you remember? We went to rob a museum together and unnie pretended to be a statue so only I got caught⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🐰 : I just imagined it but aren't statues white clay(?) like so I would be too noticeable and probably get caught too

👤 : Jisoo how did you end up dancing the Shinchan dance in front of Chaengie...? kekekeke

🐰 : kekeke after copying something kekeke I was so passionate. I was like "Hey turn on the flashlight and shine it on me!!!" and I danced while getting the spotlight..

👤 : When will Jisoo change her profile picture for wvs next? 😉😊

🐰 : It's not that I haven't thought about it. I want to change it for Weibo, Weverse and Insta but I have no pictures hahahehe

👤 : Do you still play Animal Crossing? I want to visit Jisoo's island

🐰 : I connected it to my TV and the animals were happy to see me haha

👤 : Unnie! Why did you drink? How was the alcohol taste? Unnie what's a tmi lately?

🐰 : I was happy after I was done with work in Paris! Drinking it with hotpot was delicious!! Lately I've been sleeping in!

👤 : Your bangs look so good on you😭😭😭😭😭😭🩷 But is it bothersome if you have bangs? kekekeke

🐰 : I usually don't have my bangs down, so I couldn't even recognize them! kekeke Um.. I do think it's annoying

👤 : Jisoo it's snowing and getting cold so it's time to ride snowboard🏂🏂🏂

🐰 : I really want to rideㅠ!! But I'm scarsd but I want to ride but I'm scare ㅜ

👤 : Jisoo, when are you going to play Kartrider with us? kekekeke I've been practicing a lot so far...!!

🐰 : Ah, do you want to try?!? It's downloaded now, but I didn't practice much ㅜ

👤 : Pants VS a one piece. What will you decide? keke

🐰 : Pants!

👤 : I bought all BLACKPINK kart set!!

🐰 : ㅜㅜ I only bought Jisoo ha Only me just me, Jisoo and Jisoo emoticon and BLACKPINK kart kekekekekekeke

👤 : Are you gonna play Kartrider today?

🐰 : I was going to but I dont know can we play together, it's difficult !

👤 : Make the room

🐰 : It's difficult..

🐰 : Let's go into Kart for a bit kekekeke. Ah... I want Pink Venom Jisoo. I really can't play but I don't know how to make a room kekekekeke

👤 : Unnie do you play Nintendo games ? 🎮

🐰 : Yes! keke I played a Mario game not too long ago hahahehe

🐰 : 지수짱z I'll make the game so if you want to join, join!! How do you do it! No one is joining!!

👤: Ah you have to tell us the custom key on the top left!!!! ㅠㅠ

🐰 : ah ha 178136

🐰 It's so hard. TurtleRabbitKimJisoo achievement award, I acknowledge. The last round I honestly got 1st because I rode the bus

Haha kekeke I'll leave today!! Let’s play kart again next time🤣 haha Please let me take that bus again next time 🤣🤣 Everyone, Blinks, sleep well and dress warmly because it’s cold!! I love you♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[savethepinecones]

ive got asthma. i run across a crosswalk and i end up wheezing for a good ten minutes. i dont have much stamina or speed and my asthma limits my ability to even improve these. i have an inhaler that im supposed to use multiple times per day and another one that i use whenever my breathing gets bad.

ive had the asthma since i was a baby, but because i wasnt very active (i was more of a music kid than a sports kid), for a long time it didnt have much of an impact on my life. for a solid chunk of my childhood i more or less forgot i had it at all. sure i would get winded easily but thats normal when youre out of shape right? i never excercised so it must just be that.

in the past several years, though, its gotten worse. wildfires affected air quality in my area and i started to occasionally have trouble breathing just from being outside for too long. i finally went to a doctor and got an inhaler (i hadnt bothered to get one in years since i used it so rarely and even if i didnt my breathing would sort itself out. eventually). currently ive got one that im supposed to use multiple times a day and another that i carry with me to use if i get winded while im out and about. even with these, i still cant run much without it affecting my breathing. i dont especially enjoy running so im not too upset by the lack of it in my life but its frustrating that i cant do it on the occasion that i want or need to do so.

ive had a similar journey with my mental health. i ignored it as a kid, convinced myself everything was fine and normal, until i eventually had to admit to myself that that wasnt the case. what most people considered a brisk walk or light jog was more like running a marathon for me. i only worked parttime for years until i was able to get on antidepressants because i knew fulltime would be too much for me without them. when i did start taking meds, it was still difficult but technically possible.

i managed to keep my pace up for two years before i hit a limit i couldnt force myself to push through. whether id finished the marathon or not, i couldnt keep running. so i took a break. i sat down on a bench, drank some water, and waited for my breathing to slow as i watched others run past, going at a similar speed to what id been keeping, but barely looking winded. i knew i wouldnt be able to return to my previous pace. even once my breathing evened out, i was still exhausted. and i couldnt just will that exhaustion away. i tried anyway. once my lungs had stopped hurting, i stood up and started running again. my legs still ached and my breathing quickly worsened but i had to keep moving so i ignored as much as i could and endured the rest. i stopped several times to take a break but i didnt allow myself to sit again. this went on for maybe two weeks before my legs gave out and i had to find another bench.

since then ive been catching my breath. letting my burning limbs rest. i decided that once i was well and truly ready to start running again, i would go slow enough that i could keep a steady pace without wearing myself out. i probably wont work fulltime ever again.

ive more or less caught my breath but my legs are killing me so even though i want to keep moving, im going to go slow. im walking slowly, gradually picking up the pace while being careful not to push myself too hard. its difficult. im not used to acknowledging my limits. i spent two decades thinking that as long as i didnt collapse i was fine. i hadnt allowed myself to slow whenever my breathing became labored. my lungs would ache but i would continue on my sprint regardless. sometimes i still push myself too hard. other times i think im not running fast enough. i catch myself thinking that even if i cant run like everyone else is, i should do as much as i can. i should determine what my limit is and stay just a hair below that speed. its not comfortable, but this has never been comfortable, so what does that matter?

no, i tell myself. your comfort matters. go at whatever speed works for you. i repeat this to myself as i continue to walk. sometimes i jog a little. im surprised to find it enjoyable. ive always been too exhausted to enjoy the run. still, everyone else maintains the same speed theyve had from the start. they look at me walking and criticize me for not running seriously. some say ive had enough time to catch my breath, so i should get back to sprinting now. i tell them i dont think i should. they say im not trying hard enough.

sometimes i look at the people running past and feel guilty for not keeping pace. like ive let myself down somehow. i remind myself that this isnt a race, its more of a jogging path. im allowed to walk if i need to. people run past, scoffing at me for giving up. i havent given up, i want to tell them. im still walking. still making progress.

someone grabs my arm, pulling me forward. forcing me to match their speed. i know theyre trying to help me, but im tripping over my feet in my struggle to keep up. theyre struggling too, i can tell, but they wont allow themselves to stop or slow. you need to do better, they tell me. tiredness is no excuse. i dont know how to explain to them that i passed tired long ago. i pull my arm away. i cant keep up with you. and thats okay. no its not, they tell me. you must run like the rest of us. walking isnt even close to good enough. they run ahead. i jog for a few minutes, enjoying the run, then stop at a bench for a water break. i begin walking again. i remind myself that thats enough.