#still cant decide how much i like this but i guess ill post it!! ><< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[averaillisa]

🩷.

[ceriisetheflower]

Self Care (M)

omega!renjun

wc: 4.8k

synopsis: renjun decides to take on his first heat the best way he knows how, as luxuriously as possible.

cw: smut...a lot of it. in immense detail. sex toys, pornography, multiple orgasms, unrealistic amounts of cum, stomach bulge, male squirting/watersports (depending on what you consider squirt to be lmao), overstimulation, cum eating, dildo sucking, mentions of fictional heat related illnesses, america-centric world building, a bitch with no friends attempting friendly dialogue.

a/n: well here it is! first full fic. believe it or not this was meant to be no longer than 1k, then i realized i get kinda pissed when fics don't include enough context for elements in the fic so i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't paint a likely unnecessarily vivid picture. feedback is much appreciated!

we love u very dearly junnie B💛

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

The sound of the dryer finishing its freshly washed load of delicates interrupted his fifth run through of his checklist. “Ok, let’s see….lube? Check. Waterproof blankets? Check. Three hour long Alpha on Alpha porn playlist? Check.” Renjun finally sighed with relief. It’s not everyday he obsesses over the amount of lube he has in his arsenal (he restocks his eight oz bottle of sliquid sassy every eight weeks on the dot), but it’s a special occasion. The special occasion.

He rebukes the term “late-bloomer”, despite the average age for an omega’s first heat occurring around eighteen. Renjun has always justified his lack of mating cycles with his ever present practicality. “You were absolutely ridiculous for a week straight until your heat broke.” He recalls to Donghyuck during their semi-regularly scheduled facetime catch-up they’ve adopted post grad school.

“I had so much going on freshman year, it would’ve made no sense for me to have to deal with a heat. Twenty-four is a way better age anyways, my prefrontal cortex is like eighty-five percent done, I can actually handle my brain being scrambled eggs for five days”. He says passively, ignoring the unimpressed look coming from the boy on the other side of the phone.

He unfortunately remembers the horrors of hearing Donghyuck’s first heat through their paper mache dorm room walls when they were eighteen, and the next heat three months later, and the next eighteen heats he endured as Donghyuck’s roommate. He’s convinced the boy has had enough heats for the both of them, especially considering Renjun was held solely responsible for ensuring his dear friend didn’t die of hunger or dehydration through them. It's a thankless job, but someone had to do it.

“Right, so I guess twenty-four is also the age where you’re finally gonna finish growing huh? Prime time to finally reach big boy height.” Donghyuck quips back, taking a break from grading assignments to goad the blonde boy giving him a deadpan stare through the phone.

“Bitch you’re literally 5’6 1/2 what are you talking about?” Renjun retorts, “it’s no way you’re calling me short when you just complained about how you cant find shoe lifts in canada.” Donghyuck widens his eyes in shock. “Talking about shoe lifts when you just begged me to ask Doyoung if he could hem those jeans 6 inches shorter is crazy work Renjun.” 

They continue their childlike bickering over their similarly petite frames for an unreasonable amount of time, before Donghyuck remembers the real reason for today’s meeting. “Ok but seriously, how are you feeling about this whole thing? I know it’s kinda a lot at once, be honest with me?” Donghyuck starts. He woke up two days ago to Renjun’s frenzied calls, knowing his friend was well aware that waking hours for him in Atlanta were still Donghyuck’s “dead to the world” hours in Vancouver, he was for certain there was an actual emergency.

Renjun had woken up with a pounding headache, abdominal cramps, and the unsettlingly wet mouth feel that comes right before vomiting. He knew what that meant, but refused to actually confront what was happening until Donghyuck got a look at him and convinced him to go to the omega urgent care. Donghyuck sat on the phone with him while he waited for the doctor, cheered as Renjun got the confirmation he was in pre-heat (much to Renjun’s dismay), and helped him pick the best painkillers to aid his cramps and headache. It was the best he could do from another country, fighting the urge to book a flight to go support his best friend in what’s easily the most important event in an omega's life. His husband only barely managed to convince him it was unnecessary and that they could just send him a nice care package in the mail on expedited shipping, Mark was always the level headed one in the relationship.

Renjun sighed before he could answer. “To keep it one-hundred percent real with you, I’m terrified. Like am I gonna be okay? What if I fuck up somehow and I end up never being able to have kids or something insane? Anything could happen?” Renjun said, ever the worrywort and full of trepidation about new experiences. Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at the catastrophization of the world’s most natural activity. “Friend, how could you possibly fuck up jerking off? You’ve had a solid twelve years of experience for this, relax!” Renjun shut his eyes and huffed in annoyance, “Obviously that’s not what I’m worried about idiot. I’m worried that I won’t be able to actually satisfy myself through the whole thing, and you know what happens if I can’t be fully satisfied.” Donghyuck sighs in acknowledgement.

Continuous Heating Syndrome, colloquially known as a heat frenzy, is a rare but unfortunate side effect of a heat that goes unsatiated. Nonstop migraines, vomiting, loss of motor function, seizures, or shit...even worse. Donghyuck has heard horror stories of omegas having perfectly normal heats that turn into three week stints at the hospital after they couldn’t break. Scary shit. Rare for all omegas, but increasingly likely for an unmated omega without consistent access to a knot, a category which Renjun unfortunately falls into. “Look at it this way” Donghyuck starts, “It’s not like you have no options at all. You don’t necessarily have to do this alone.” Renjun grimaces. He knows exactly where Donghyuck is going with this, and he’s not even remotely here for it.

 “I’m not calling the heat hotline.” Renjun was scared, not desperate. He had no reason to hire a random Alpha who needed extra money to come fuck him for five days straight, he could figure something else out for sure. “Oh girl please!” Donghyuck exclaims, “That’s literally exactly what you need right now! They’re super strict about testing so you won’t have to worry about that, plus it’s covered by your insurance? What is the issue?” Renjun rolls his eyes, ‘The issue is that you think i’m supposed to just randomly fuck the first alpha who doesn’t look like he snuck on the planet just to stop myself from going into a coma, I have options bitch!” 

Donghyuck scoffs, “Sure you do. Is now the time when Jen and Jae finally jump through the screen of their newest edging scene to keep you company through your heat? Porn only takes you so far, friend.” Renjun hates that Donghyuck knows him well enough to know he’s been anxiously scouring his favorite alpha pornstars’ onlyfans to find some semblance of relief through his rapidly approaching week of agony. “I have toys! So many toys! I don’t need an alpha at all, I have like six different vibrating cocks to choose from” Renjun grumbled. He was a fully self sufficient twenty-four year old omega who doesn’t need an alpha! Or so he continues to force himself to believe.

“If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, the least you can do is be safe.” Donghyuck says, his worried expression softening the defensive stance Renjun has adopted. “You do have someone nearby right? Just in case you need someone to check in on you in person?” “Of course, Yangyang and Chenle are in the building down the street, if I need a restock on anything or if I start overheating and dying I can call them.” Renjun replies, in an attempt to calm his friend from his concerns. “You’re not gonna die girl. Especially since I found the perfect thing to help you out!” Donghyuck beams, giving Renjun his signature “I’ve done something I know you won’t like but I’m smart enough to know it’s what you need" look.

“Is it a dick? Don’t buy me a dick Hyuck I swear to god.” Renjun says, “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Dick shopping instead of feeling sorry for me? I can't believe this.” “If it makes you feel better it’s not a dick, you have so many other ones another would be excessive, even for me. You’re gonna love it though! All those fears of heat frenzy are gonna go right out the window!” Renjun eyes the brunette through the screen suspiciously, Donghyuck’s odd enthusiasm has been the catalyst to multiple cautionary tales Renjun is saving for his grandkids. Now might be the worst time to let his guard down. “I swear to god, if it’s something weird i’m sending it back and getting a restraining order.” Donghyuck giggles in nefarious delight, “It’ll be at your doorstep in two days!” Renjun groans in horror.

Renjun is shaken from his daydream riddled with Donghyuck’s alarming cackles by the sound of the doorbell being rang for the fourth time. “Oh! Coming, coming, so sorry!” He yells out, rushing to the front door to see his instacart delivery driver struggling to hold Renjun’s last minute groceries. The poor guy takes a deep breath and tries not to look nearly as phased as he is by Renjun’s sweet bergamot scent. “I-I wasn’t able to find the caramel pecan cookies, so I got you an extra box of kitchen sink cookies, I hope that’s ok?” The man stutters, clearly fighting the urge to comment on what smells like the sweetest omega he’d ever met. “Oh no worries! Thank you so much, they always go out of stock pretty quick.” Renjun replies, now increasingly aware of the alpha’s growing nervousness and intensified teakwood scent.

He hurries to grab the groceries from the boy and set them on his kitchen counter. “Here you go!” Renjun says, handing over his nice ten percent tip for the guy’s troubles. “T-T-Thank you!” he replies, after making a horribly obvious attempt at trying to inhale as much of Renjun’s residual scent on the ten dollar bill. Renjun awkwardly waves him goodbye, and closes the door of his apartment asking whichever deity that watches over him why he couldn’t have already been mated to avoid having to endure that. The plights of a single omega, he thinks to himself, now rapidly moving towards his kitchen to take final inventory. 

His heat is scheduled to begin sometime tonight, made clear by his overwhelming scent and his unbearable body temperature. He’s already considered turning his air conditioner up higher, but realizing that his poor plants would hate to live in a house that’s fifty-five degrees for a week straight, he suffers in a scantily clad haze. He’s stocked up with seven cases of water, four boxes of cookies, six frozen pizzas, and three family sized bags of chicken nuggets. His poor air-fryer will be working overtime this week, Renjun is fully prepared to only have twenty minutes of energy between heat spikes to keep himself semi-sufficiently nourished. He grabs an armful of waters and sports drinks he’d picked up earlier that week to carry them to his room. He placed them next to the other small snacks he’d put in his mini fridge conveniently sitting next to his nest, there was no way he’d be able to make it to the kitchen after the first few rounds and immediate hydration was a non-negotiable.

Renjun took a moment to be proud of himself. He was a single omega preparing for the most intense and important event of his life. All those incredibly awkward sex-ed lessons he endured in middle school, and the trauma-inducing nights spent handing Donghyuck and Mark bottles of gatorade and fruit snacks while trying to avoid  seeing any genitals had finally led up to this moment. Renjun was fully prepared. Renjun was gonna be okay. 

His doorbell rings again. This time unexpectedly. He opens the door to find another delivery man, this time an omega, Renjun can tell by the soft lavender scent. “Order for Renjun Huang?’ The man asks. Renjun grimaces at the horrifically American butchering of his name, giving a pleasant but unsure smile. “Yes! That’s me” Renjun replies, taking a look at the ominously large box the man is holding. "Great, sign here please” He grumbles, trying to make quick work of what Renjun can only presume is his last delivery of the day. Renjun makes quick work of scribbling his signature on the dotted line, before mumbling a quick thank you and grabbing the box. It’s oddly heavy, which wouldn’t be too concerning, until he took a closer look at the label and read ‘From: Mark and Donghyuck ♡,” in Donghyuck’s messy half cursive half print handwriting.

“Oh dear god” Renjun thinks, now the weight of the box is a genuine cause for concern. He heaves the box to his counter and takes a deep breath before cutting it open. Much to his surprise, it’s all normal nice things. He pulls out a box of the maple cookies Renjun became obsessed with when Mark brought them back a box after returning to campus from his thanksgiving break in Vancouver, the ones Renjun was pissed to find out aren’t available in Atlanta. He sees a stuffed bear and stuffed cheetah wrapped in plastic, Renjun pulls them out to admire the resemblance to his dear friends before he realizes they were both scented like Hyuck and Mark. Renjun could just cry. He felt so loved and cherished by his best friend, how loving and thoughtful Donghyuck always was despite being a smug piece of shit ninety percent of the time. He’s been wanting nothing more than to experience one of their “cuddle puddles”, that while Renjun would always protest, he secretly loved. He pulls out a lovely soft yellow blanket with pretty little ruffles on the ends, perfect to go in his nest for added comfort. Wrapped in the blanket is a little note: 

 “You’re gonna have a great time Junnie! Don’t overthink things, just relax and enjoy the ride! We love you so very much! - Hyuckie and Markie”

Renjun is tearing up, his friends love him so much, he’s gonna be okay! Then he sees another box at the bottom, hidden by the blanket and other gifts before it. He shimmies the black box out of the larger brown one and places it on the counter, now able to get a full look at what the picture on the box is displaying. The tears instantly dry. The feelings of love and admiration are replaced with immediate annoyance.

In a scary showcase of friendship telepathy, his phone rings, lighting up with the picture Donghyuck took of his flared nostrils freshman year. Renjun sighs, then answers the phone. “Why would you buy me a fuck machine?” Renjun stares into the phone, hoping to look as menacing as he can in a hello kitty headband holding his blonde strands from his face. “I see you got our present.” Donghyuck replies, shit eating grin so intense his lips were threatening to split apart. “I told you I had just the thing in mind for your heat girlie!” Renjun huffs with the full intent to call Donghyuck everything but a child of god, but he’s getting hotter and the throbbing between his legs is getting more intense. Tonight he chooses peace. “In seven days you’ll begin to cough” he says, and hangs up the phone to let out a loud exasperated grunt. 

Now the real preparation begins. Renjun walks over to his dryer and pulls out his satin robe he’d freshly washed for the occasion. He makes his way over to his bathroom to begin the most intense shower he’s had since his last failed date with an alpha he met on Wolfr. “Nice dick, horrendous vibes.” Renjun shudders at the memory. “Maybe that’s just how guys from Connecticut are? Connecticut is barely a real place, who cares.” He pauses his internal monologue for a moment to place a vanilla scented shower steamer in the corner of the tub. He lights himself a few overpriced indie candles he got from a small business bazaar in the city, and starts easing himself out of his tiny shorts.

He takes his time pulling the silky fabric of his briefs, gently coaxing his dick out of the fabric. He shudders at the cold air hitting his half-hard cock, sending shivers up his spine and another light stream of slick out of his tip. “Fuck,” He moans softly, entirely too aroused for his own good. He pulls his shirt over his head, shuddering again when the air hits his puffy swollen nipples. He takes the time to get a full look at himself in the full size mirror. “Fuck I’m hot. No wonder that Alpha almost popped his knot earlier,” Renjun smiles to himself confidently.

He makes his way into the shower, taking a deep breath of the warm vanilla scent circling him, meshing wonderfly with his own light citrusy aroma. The hot water of the shower electrifies Renjun’s body, he takes a moment to soak in the amazing feeling of the heat comforting his aching limbs. He starts with his favorite lemon and honey scented body wash to begin carefully massaging his arms and chest with the warm and fruity bubbles.

The sensation of the lather was already driving him crazy, absolutely loving the way his hands gilded seamlessly over his hips and ass. Renjun wasn’t normally the type to be so turned on by his own body, he guesses it’s just the excess hormones making any sight of bare skin immensely arousing. He snaps out of his hormone induced stupor to remember that he has a whole shower routine to get through, so he gives his soft chest a final squeeze, then moves back under the welcoming stream of the water to rinse himself clean. He grabs his body scrub and locks in for the remainder of his shower. 

Renjun emerges in a cloud of sugary citrus air, intoxicating even to himself. He wraps himself in his gold satin robe, and makes his way to his vanity for his finishing touches. Renjun digs through his copious amounts of products to find the expensive body oil he’s been saving for this very occasion. He strips off his robe, and starts massaging the oil into his skin, starting at his legs. Every dip his fingers make into his skin brings him closer to ecstasy. Closer to what he knows is gonna be the most intense feeling of his life. He’s just barely finished rubbing himself down when he starts leaking a new stream of slick from his puckered asshole.

“Oh shit, that must mean it’s about to be time huh?” He figures, moving to wrap his robe around him yet again to avoid his neighbors getting a free show through his open blinds. He draws the curtains, dims the lights, and connects his television to his laptop for an optimized viewing experience. He already has his nightly entertainment pulled up, three hours of Jen and Jae’s best material. Nothing that riles Renjun up more than seeing an alpha take a eleven inch dick like he was made for it.

He settles into the spot he carefully carved into his nest, when he lays his eyes on the pretty yellow blanket Donghyuck sent him in his care package. Then he thinks about what else was present in the care package. He pauses for a second, thinking about how he actually hadn’t even taken the fuck machine out of the box. “Well obviously I didn’t take it out the box, I’m not giving Hyuck the satisfaction of knowing I used a toy he gave me,” Renjun thinks to himself. Then again, it’s not as if Hyuck has to know Renjun used it. Then again, it’s not as if using it could be a bad idea, Renjun considers.

He drags himself out of bed to collect the box from the kitchen counter, setting it down on his bed as he begins to actually open the machine. He definitely recognizes the machine, it’s pretty famous among omega content creators due to its lightweight build and convenient suction cup base to accommodate any dildo the user pleases. He looks over at the extended assortment of toys he’s curated for tonight’s events:  a vibrating fleshlight for his cock and three different dildos in ascending length and thickness for his differing stages of need. Renjun felt his hole flutter with excitement as another gush of slick slid down his thighs.

He thinks about it for a moment, considering how much nicer it'd be if he didn’t have to be responsible for thrusting his toys in and out of his slicked hole. He decides to use the suction cup base of the fuck machine to attach it to the headboard of his bed, checking the height of his placement to ensure it would be the perfect height for him to comfortably get backshots from the toy. If he’s desperate enough for it he, reasons, first choosing to hold off from letting Donghyuck be right about something for as long as possible. With the machine firmly secured, Renjun settles back into his comfy spot in the nest. He takes off his robe, presses play on his laptop, and reaches for his fresh bottle of lube to start massaging his warm cock. 

He’s 10 minutes into watching Jae eat Jen’s ass when Renjun finally has his first orgasm. His little heaves and moans fill the room as he milks himself of his well deserved release. “Ooh…ahh…ahh...fuck!” He shouts, pulling himself further into overstimulation as his vision starts to haze over. He’s laying in a puddle of hot slick, constantly pumping out more and more as he keeps toying with his cock. He’s using his other hand to pump his fingers furiously in his asshole, loving the searing sensation of his hole stretching over his digits. “Mmm fuck...fuck, ooh make him cum Jae” he moans, picturing himself as the pornstars’ third wheel in their bedroom.

He realizes his hands aren’t gonna cut it though, he releases his cock from his vice grip and winces as he pulls his fingers from his ass to grab his fleshlight and the smallest dildo from the pile. “Oh shit,” he hisses, feeling that same intoxicating stretch to the next degree as he tries to slip the seven inch toy deep inside. He needs another large squirt of lube to get the job done, a sign he hasn’t completely gone into heat quite yet, letting his semi-delirious brain know he still has some semblance of self-control.

He pours another squirt of lube directly into the fleshlight, giving it a few pumps with his fingers, and then using those same fingers to pump his cock, before squeezing his drained but solid dick into the tight slippery hole.  He’s fully entranced in the sensations of his body now, leaking so much slick his toy keeps slipping out of his hole. The throbbing between his legs is reaching an ungodly peak, rushing his second orgasm into him like a train. “Ahhhh FUCK,” he screams, feeling the pulse of his prostate send him into overdrive. His cum and slick is pooling at the base of his dick, overflowing the fleshlight and adding to the lewd sounds deafening his ears.

He makes a move to turn up the vibrations on the toy, barely getting a chance to move his hand from the button before the pulse of his third release shakes him to the core. Renjun is completely lost at this point, barely aware of anything around him other than his seemingly never ending fountain of cum and the hypnotic sights and sounds of his favorite muscle bottom getting dicked within an inch of his life. God he wishes that was him taking alpha meat. Then he remembers it totally can be him. He grabs the biggest dick he owns, neglecting any more prep that the fifteen minutes of intense pounding hasn’t provided, and sticks the heavy dildo to the waiting base of the fuck machine.

He positions himself comfortably in front of the plastic cock, taking a moment to admire his mess on his satin sheets. “S-Shit…ohhh fuck,” he hisses as he shoves the toy into his ass. He barely gives himself a moment to adjust before he reaches for the remote to start the lowest thrusting pattern, desperate for the feeling of his hole getting stretched to its limits. Renjun lets out a low groan while the toy picks up speed. He clicks it up to the second level and jolts as the tip of the cock starts hitting his prostate. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groans, spilling more slick onto his sheets and sliding into his fourth orgasm, leaving his mind completely broken. He sets his fleshlight to its highest vibration and suction level, and shakes himself into another release.

If he had any ability to think critically he would be concerned for the amount of fluid leaking into his mattress, considering he’d completely forgotten to lay down the waterproof blankets he was so intent would save him a massive cleaning bill, especially since the cock in his ass causes another surge of slick to shoot from his hole. Nearing delirium, Renjun decides the dual stimulation still isn’t enough. He wants even more, he needs even more.

The smell of his slick and cum is intoxicating, leaving his brain just as fried as the underpaid alpha that nearly sprung a leak at his door earlier. He grabs the smaller dildo that he used to work his ass open at the start of his playtime, and gave it a slow lick from the balls to the tip. Tasting himself on the toy made his next orgasm even harder, sucking the head of the dildo like it was an actual alpha. Throating the cock to it’s hilt like Jae himself was fucking his throat. Renjun was officially in heat, too spent to think, and too horny to care. 

With the last bit of his reflexes he has left, he manages to switch the fuck machine to it’s highest setting, and prepares himself for the ride of his life. “Ohhhhh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuckkkkkk,” he stutters, forming the last coherent phrases he’ll be saying for a while. His head is absolutely pounding, reality is bending, and all he knows is fact are the loud moans he and Jen are churning out along with the surge of energy rushing through his ass and cock. “Ahh oh my god, oh my god,” he screams, ushering himself into otherworldly realms of pleasure.

His cock is being milked to extremes he didn’t know were possible, the pumping motions of the fleshlight sending streams of cum all over his balls and thighs from where the toy could no longer hold his load. He groans as the cock in his ass pounds into his prostate, sending him further into the orgasmic spiral he has no intention of leaving. He’s coming down from his tenth orgasm when he finally decided to give his dick a break, pulling the toy milking him for the last two hours off his cock and throwing it to the side, in the interest of laying face down ass up, fully submitting to the plastic cock he’s worshiping with every fiber of his being.

He can barely make any sounds other than small gurgles when he starts craving his own musk again, grabbing the fleshlight and sticking his tongue as deep as he can into the sopping wet hole, basking in the scent of his pleasure. He slurps up his essence as he feels his ass getting tighter, the dildo seemingly rutting rougher and rougher to break through his grip. He slides himself back even further on the toy, taking all eleven inches impossibly deep, crying out at the feeling of his stomach bulging from the cock mixing up his guts. Renjun is lost in the vortex of his heat, unable to do anything but scream in pleasure in between licking his fleshlight like it’s a real asshole, when he feels it.

His eyes go wide, his ass locks up around the plastic knot completely, the overwhelming pleasure forcing his body to mate with the cock rearranging him. The toy stops moving in and out, too suffocated by Renjuns slick walls to complete a full cycle of motion, instead sending deep thuds of pressure directly on his prostate. His eyes start rolling back as his body starts convulsing, unable to control his movements. His loud moans turn to deafening screams when a long stream of clear liquid shoots from his cock. He cries out in pleasure as he lets out endless gushes of liquid, soaking through whatever parts of his mattress weren’t already sticky with slick. His voice starts to taper off into quieter whines, soon after, Renjun’s vision goes black. 

Renjun wakes up thirty minutes later, slightly less attached to the toy. Its batteries must’ve died sometime between him squirting and passing out, but Renjun has little recollection of anything that occurred once his first heat spike hit. He hears the faint sound of his pornstars giving each other aftercare from what must’ve been a similarly intense scene in the background, figuring he should follow in Jen’s footsteps and have a bottle of water.

He rolls over in his nest, taking in the absolutely ruined state of his bed, along with the extremely satisfied feeling in his body. “Woah,” he thinks, “I gotta get Hyuck a Waffle House gift card or something.”

[a-confused-teen-venting]

hello there.

i came to do this post to apologize to anyone who has seen my previous post and have gotten hurt or felt terrible because of what i wrote.

for context, i made a distasteful post about how people who stay in toxic relationships and complain about their partner dont deserve to keep complaining if they are consciously still deciding to be together with the person. i argued that if they are deciding to be together with said person even if people try to give them advice about the relationship, they sometimes have an attitude about how they can decide what they want and often push people away to stay in that toxicity.

when making the post, i failed to realize that my post made it seem like i was victim blaming people for being in their own predicament, which is totally reasonable and it made me realize that i really was doing that while being an moron in my rant. i failed to acknowledge that a lot of people in toxic relationships struggle to let go of that abuse being as they are chained to it by many reasons, such as trauma or dependency.

i didnt delete the post sooner cause i log out from this account, but when i read the handful of comments letting me know of my tone deaf and shitty behavior, it made me realize how much of an asshole take it was, especially directed as a “vent”.

so to anyone who has read my previous post, im sorry.

i should be more compassionate towards people who cant have the strength to cut off those that are harmful to them. my lack of compassion and selfishness made me blind of the more painful experiences people go through. ill be more knowledgeable of abusive relationships in the future. my post wasnt meant to be harmful but it fully was and i now realize that.

im sorry.

now, to anyone who cares, i hope you dont mind if i give some context with the relationships im in that made me make that post in the first place. i understand if no one wants read about anything i say anymore, but i guess i wanted to share this.

TW: abuse, self harm in the second half of the explanation

there are two relationships that delivered the context of that post.

the first one is mainly the reason of the post.

friend got into his first relationship not too long ago. although things started off well with him and his girlfriend, recently he has been annoyed and disappointed with her.

he has been talking about how he cant stand her, how their opposite personalities annoy him, how she isnt affectionate with him, that she doesnt communicate well and doesnt put much of an effort into the relationship as he does. is not that shes abusive, is that she seems to be more lax in the relationship compare to him and its messing him up.

he has only come to me to vent about her so im the only person who is aware about his dissatisfaction in the relationship.

i have, as any reasonable friend, been a shoulder to lean on. i been listening to his rant and given him advice.

at first i was trying to give the standard. communicate, talk about boundaries, talk about insecurities, make her feel safe in the relationship.

but then when things gotten to the point of him being tired of who she is as a person and even considering preferring another girl over her, i started to just think “he should break up with her”.

but he cant. mainly cause he thinks theres something wrong with him and that he has too much love that a person cant handle when i think this is just a problem of incompatibility.

i have always comforted him and tried letting him know that breaking up with her isnt the end of the world. that theres still a chance to meet someone else new, but he cant bring himself to do it because he has already done so much.

but, if he cant even think about being with her in the next five years then why even keep trying?

even today he left me a message of her lack of comfort. all i could say was that i wanted to hug him cause he doesnt deserve that.

which is why it annoys me so much with how he can’t bring himself to break up. i wish there was a way i could show him that is okay to fail at times, to let him know theres nothing wrong with him, that he should stand up for himself if she is not putting in the effort for him. but im also aware how really… weak he is to say the least.

writing this now, and seeing how his relationship was what made make the previous post in the first place does make me realize how even though i think i have good intentions i still am an asshole.

i just wish there was more i could do then just be his rant dump because thats all he even talks to me for. but im aware im not even doing any good in the first place.

now this next one will touch upon the warnings from earlier, so again:

TW: abuse, self harm.

ill admit i wasnt thinking about this relationship at first when i made that post, but it did remind me of the person in it.

i want to say im also going to go into heavy detail about shit thats probably useless in the first place so im sorry.

im a child of divorce, and when my parents were in the beginning process of divorcing, my mom started dating a childhood friend of hers. this didnt really give her the time to truly grieve on the divorce as she managed to quickly find a replacement partner that could give her the love and affection she needed in a difficult time for her.

although things started well, and we tried to get along with her boyfriend, soon enough things got bad.

fights and arguments started, physical altercations too, a big power imbalance occurred between us and her boyfriend, were we moved into HIS house and we had to be on our best behavior to let us live there.

either way, soon enough he kicked us out.

luckily my aunt let us stay in her house and we managed to stay there before my mom got a house for us to live in.

now, i dont know, maybe i am stupid, but you would think that after the abuse, the physical altercations, the disrespect with him, and getting literally kicked out of his house when we were depending on him will make you think my mother will break up with him no?

wrong.

my mom was allowed to come back to his house. every night while me and my brother stayed in my aunt’s house where we had to share a space with my cousin and follow the rules of my aunt, my mom will come probably for an hour or two everyday to take clothes with her and leave to stay with him.

for a year, i had to start being independent completely at the age of 18 as i also had to take care of my neurodivergent brother alone. i began to be very stand off and never open up about my emotions because i didnt have anyone to lean on.

it didnt help that it seems my mom always thinks im against her. any mistake that i made was an attack towards her, some that often lead to her get in trouble with her boyfriend or even my aunt or just in general that i was disobeying her on purpose. i always tried to be good and not bother her with my own existence but nothing ever worked so she made me feel like shit and i started self harming for half that time.

the only times i have opened up to my mom were through mental breakdowns where she finally acknowledged my pain and how much i hated that she would leave me and my brother to fend for ourselves despite how hurting we are. the first time this happened she said we will always be together and things will change.

on september an incident happened.

my mom was on a three day trip with her boyfriend on another town. they often do go out on trips, maybe to satisfy him so i dont stop her.

however, during the second day in got a notification on my phone from her boyfriend saying that they suddenly were at his house and that i needed to pick up my mom. i, knowing this guy is a prick, that he gets made easily because of his fragile ego, that my mom is depending on him for the trip, that they used to get into nasty fights and physical altercation, it made me scared about why were they even back in the first place.

thinking the worst, i came to the house to pick her up. it’s obvious he didnt want her, that he could leave her any time he wanted. so i came to her to make her realize she has a home, that im here for her, that no matter what, even if she keeps choosing her shitty boyfriend ill always be there to pick her back up.

when i got there she started yelling at me. that just me being there worsen the situation between them. mind you, she was outside and wasnt going to leave his house because she wanted to talk while he wanted her out the house.

she said that i basically fucked things up for her, and when she was removed from the house when the cops came, she had a completely breakdown she took off on me.

i dont want to get into the details. mostly that she said a lot of nasty stuff towards me. just that i made it worse by then running away. i was gone for an hour. and when i came back it just made her think more that i just didnt respect her in any way.

…to be honest at this point im not even sure why i keep writing.

long story short, she has expressed she prefers being with her boyfriend over me and me brother, despite the fact i sometimes hear that asshole berate her for no reason. i have to keep him in my life just because she lets him in our home and he is still entangled with my mother.

he makes her cry, he makes her hurt, she cant let go of him because she loves him so much.

and all i can do is sit and watch.

because in my mind, why is it that you prefer that asshole over your own children?

i know im not innocent in this bullshit. i have become very resentful as a person despite being aware that my mother is just a weak individual. i guess that anger and frustration is why i made that post in the first place. i guess is also why i feel so ashamed in myself, especially when it comes to having feelings for someone and being vulnerable.

im sorry to anyone ive hurt in my post again. i know my trauma doesnt change the fact that i was still being insensitive about other people’s struggles and still am.

im sorry.

[thebruno65]

Sato defence thread

I know nobody gaf about her, but the few that do despise her ass, so I made up my mind and decided to write a defence post abt her. So, without further ado... Why Sato is a more complex character than you think:

For starters, who in the world is Sato? That's probably a question 90% of all Dangan fans ask when they see me talking about her. So ill give a little background information to inform you/remind you who she is.

Sato is a minor character whom was introduced in Danganronpa 2, Chapter's 2 motive, Twilight Syndrome Murder Case as Girl E. She is known to be friends with Mikan, Hiyoko, Ibuki and most importantly, Mahiru.

But what she is more known for is being the culprit of Natsumi Kuzuryu's murder, the little sister of Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. And its what most people point to when criticizing Sato and her behaviour towards her, most of the time saying Sato was fully in the wrong.

But I'm here to prove, or at least try to, that while murder wasn't the way to handle it, Sato had all the right to behave the way she did towards her. But before I start, I just want to clarify that I don't hate Natsumi, but it doesn't excuse her behaviour towards Sato and Mahiru.

When people blame Sato, they usually go ahead and say that her motive is weak as hell, saying that she is a generic, heartless yandere whose only reasoning is "I love Mahiru!" But that just isn't true, she has much more complexity and issues that people dismiss:

People have kind of forgotten that, despite Natsumi's and Hajime's conversation that showed a weaker side of her character, she was still not an angel. Its shown in the anime that she constantly bullied both Sato and Mahiru, and this is very clearly backed up in episode 3 where she intentionally provokes Sato to start a fight over with her. I mean, there is no way she didn't intend that.

Plus, this bullying can be dated to as far back as the photography club, I'm guessing that's like, around a year or more. So it isn't a recent thing she could just ´ignore´ like most people say, because I'm genuinely sick and tired of people saying that, like, if they met before hopes peak, then I can guarantee you that she has probably tried that before and ultimately fail. Either because Natsumi doesn't stop herself, or she genuinely cant mentally drown her our.

EVEN THEN, this is still not everything she has done, because there is still one more, pretty major thing Natsumi has done constantly to both, threatening to kill them. Ok, before anyone goes ahead and says something like "But those threats are empty! She didn't actually mean it, she is just mad". Put yourself in Sato's shoes first:

Imagine the daughter of one of, if not the biggest Yakuza clan in Japan says she will kill you to your face. I don't know about you all but id be shitting my pants and leave the country if I ever heard that. Not to mention she is also threating my best friend?

And its not like she just based it off of a simple word, she quite literally has physical evidence to prove that Natsumi, in her eyes, does not fuck around. I'm talking about the scar she gave her back in the photography club. After Natsumi and Sato had a fight, its said some men went ahead and scarred her arm.

In general the scar serves as a great way to remind Sato that "if you don't protect Mahiru, they might do something to her, they have done it to you before"

(BONUS)

Please note that, while I may have come as extremely harsh and rude on Natsumi's behalf, this is not a hate post. She is in fact a great character too, and I highly recommend checking this thread that explores her character in great detail. https://x.com/CHISALOVEBOT/status/1735610111245095022

Now, another reason as to how people misinterpret Sato and her motive is her relationship with Mahiru, her best friend. Now I'm not going to argue that she wasn't the reason to why Sato did what she did, in fact, Id argue its her biggest and most important reason for her. But what I'm trying to argue here is that it wasn't (just) because of "love"

I don't know about you all, but i find it very clear to me that Sato is not mentally stable, and this is most prominently shown when she shares her scenes with Mahiru, and how being with her has affected her psychologically.

lets talk about their first scene together, in which sato says, and I quote: "Mahiru, you're the hope of everyone in the Photography Club." At first glance, this sentence seems completely normal, but if you analyse just a little bit more, you will realize something odd... who the fuck unironically says this?

Even if its true that they are an Ultimate, one of the best at what they do. Going to extremes to say "hope" is... a bit overdue, especially speaking for everyone in the photography club. As seeing how the other reserve course students reacted when Mahiru came over, (though I do have to add it was because of Natsumi's comment) were not too sure if she truly meant everyone, or even anyone at all.

But, we can still tie this to her mentality of Mahiru, how? Well, when I said who unironically thinks this, there was an answer, and that my friends, is Nagito Komaeda.

Yes, i know, i seem crazy comparing Nagito and Sato, but think about it, they both have this support over hope, with both reminding the other ultimates that they are the "hope" of the world. Don't believe me? then look at this line said by Sato only a few seconds after the first one:

So in the end, she is not only referring to the photography club, she is also referring to the entire world. Now you could argue that she means this logically as once she graduates, her photos would probably spread around the world. But the fact that this comes right after her line about "hope" may have it signify otherwise.

Though this isn't the only comparison you can actually make between the two, as I've recently discovered that their views on the reserve course and talent are pretty darn similar too! Of course they show this in different ways.

What do I mean by this? We all know Nagito's certain distain for non-talented people right? and how only those can be born with a talent? What if i told you, this also is the case for Sato, only of course, to a lesser extent.

During the fight with Natsumi, Sato states that since the main course didn't scout her, she should give up since she had no talent and that she should "know her place" You guys see what I'm talking about?

Sato saying to know her place pretty much means she knows her role in the overall school of the academy, she is only there to support the Ultimates, be a stepping stone.

(BONUS)

Ok but like I generally find the idea of a conversation between Nagito and Sato be pretty hilarious, with Nagito going over the usual reserve shit and Sato's like "Ok that was pretty rude, you could have toned it down a little... But you're not wrong either."

Sato's sprites:

Anyways, back to my point. But then, why does Sato act like this, Is there a reason for it? And that's where good ol' Hopes Peak Academy comes in:

Its no secret that Hopes Peak does not care for its reserve course students, seeing as they just swooped both Natsu's and Sato's deaths under the rug.

Another thing that they like to do is remind them of this nonstop, where as would be with Main Course students like Nagito 24/7, Juzo when Hajime confronts him. Or other, more indirect forms.

These guys clearly think of talent and hope being the priority, then the rest after it. And Sato is a victim of this type of mentality, she puts down Natsumi and her wish constantly because she's thinking the way hopes peak wants everyone else to think. She praises Mahiru and calls her "her hope" because she is meant to be a stepping stone for the Main Course.

Now here comes a little bit of theorizing, but it will make sense trust me: This mentality has been driven so far into her brain, that it seems like a lot of the actions she takes, she always excuses it as "what Mahiru wants"

for example, every time she's arguing Natsumi, she always goes ahead and claims if she does something to Mahiru, she will not let her get away with it. Notice how its always Mahiru and not her? She quite literally cares for Mahiru's safety over her own.

(BONUS)

Can I just please gush about the genius way they made the Natsumi and Sato conflict work so well with their beliefs? Like they are quite literally the humanization of what the one of them thinks of the other:

Natsumi hates people that seem to have given up and not try to join the Main Course. Sato is someone who represents that by putting down others for them to 'give up'.

Sato hates people that don't know their place and think they can do more than what they can chew. Natsumi is someone who is openly stating to trying to join the main course as the 'Ultimate Little sister'

But, you may be wondering, "well if she cares so much about Mahiru, then what about the others? She never mentions Mikan, Hiyoko nor Ibuki in any way"

And here's were her motive becomes more complex, as I personally believe that her personality around Mahiru is more than just a Nagito complex. I'm going to throw the idea that Mahiru is pretty much the only thing from keeping Sato from quite literally existing. Yeah, depressing, right? But hear me out:

When I tell you that her first anime appearance wasn't when she slammed Hajime's desk, then what do you think it is? I bet almost none of you would have said this scene right here.

FYI, this scene plays right before Natsumi talks to Hajime about always looking out of the Main Course. (Special Thanks to @kousaka-erena for telling me abt this scene btw)

But, how does this scene signify my extremely absurd comment? You may ask. Well, lets take away our attention from Sato for a bit to look at the rest of the reserve students around her.

Notice how all of them seem to be having a conversation, or at least be with another student? Even though we cant confirm that all of these people are friends, per say. We can confirm that they are at least able to talk with one another.

Now look back at Sato, none of them are even looking at her direction, they don't even care about her. Not to mention that this is not a one off thing, she is never even seen interacting with any of the reserve course students aside from the other two.

In fact, I'm going to throw around the idea that the reserve course might actually hate her, or at least have some sort of distain. Probably from the fact that she's friends with an Ultimate.

The students are probably jealous by the fact she is able to talk to someone from the Main course. So in return, they don't talk to her out of jealousy, which in turn probably makes her time away from Mahiru extremely difficult for her.

The worst thing is that I would have glossed over this if it weren't for the fact she was in THAT position. While you could argue they did this with a writing perspective, so that they don't reveal her face until their reveal.

But if it really were the case, then why did they opt to specifically do it like this? Wouldn't it have been actually easier to just animate her with her back towards the screen talking to other students? So I believe they they had a little more in mind when drawing her here.

But, what about her other Main Course friends, Wouldn't you also count them in? Here's the thing though, apart from the Twilight Syndrome Murder Case game, do we ever see them interact? I mean, none of the 3 never seemed to really go ahead and visit her when they had the chance.

Sure, they are still seen together in the game, but how close are they really to each other? To be honest, Mikan, Hiyoko, Ibuki and Sato only seem to be friends because of proximity with Mahiru more than anything else. So I doubt Sato would have strong feelings for them either.

Like sure, she probably still respects them because they are still ultimates and all, and I'm sure she still considers them closer than anyone else, but just not by much.

And I think this loneliness also overall leaks its way into her treatment of Mahiru, with the way she feels the need to protect her at all costs, to praising her to none ends, to even hiding vital information from her:

When I'm talking about the ladder, I'm referring to Sato's and Mahiru's final scene together, which is infamously know as the retcon of Mahiru's involvement in TSMC, while I personally don't mind the retcon as much as others, Its still a blow to Mahiru's character and what she stands for in DR2.

But, lets put that aside, as were not here to talk about that. Lets instead talk about how this scene, despite not being great for Mahiru's character, is brilliant for Sato and how much she is willing to go to protect her.

So, we know how in the original TSMC, Sato immediately confesses her crime to Mahiru after being confronted. And while I can still see this in character, I much prefer her other interpretation.

In were, instead of confessing at all, she constantly hides the fact she murdered Natsumi and even reminds her how 'horrible' she was to the both of them.

Now, why do I generally find this better than the original? Because it shows you how fare she is willing to go to protect her, going as far as to hide the truth from her. The reason she does this is so that she doesn't get herself involved in it.

She even shows her the scar the Yakuza left her in her arm to gain pity and convince her to just leave the case alone. That's because she needs to protect her, just like she said before this scene.

Now of course you can always argue that Mahiru already knew about this and she just didn't tell her, but what's important is Sato herself couldn't know this, so she tried her best to not get her involved.

So, she is willing to go as far as to do this, for what? Well, I believe this goes back to the fact that Mahiru is her only true friend. She acts overprotective and obsessive over her because she doesn't want to lose her, she is afraid to.

As I've said before, Mahiru is the only thing she has left, its her only hope. So in return, she will do anything it takes for her to keep Mahiru by her side.

Now obviously, you can also deduce it to being, love, or something else. In fact, its been heavily implied that Sato is a Lesbian with the way she talks to Mahiru sometimes. But i personally found it to be this as there's just much more evidence supporting it.

(BONUS)

One thing that I also want to mention, but didn't find anywhere to fit this in, is when right after Mahiru leaves, her expression changes from a happy smile to a frown.

Which makes me thing she has also hidden her own emotions from her, maybe to not have her worry about her as she was probably told from Mahiru how her life at home is. Or it could also be that she hates lying to her. It can be anything really.

But, while this may be a lot, there is still one last push to try and convince you that she isn't your typical Cold, Heartless yandere you see the fandom depict her as: And that is she never intended to hurt Natsumi in the first place.

"But, you were literally just talking about her motives, what do you mean she didn't intend to kill her?" While yes, I did go ahead and explain her motives, I never said outright that it was to justify the death of Natsu.

In the motive, Sato says to Mahiru that she tried talking it out with Natsumi, but after another death threat from her yet again, Sato succumbed to her anger, and in a FIT OF RAGE, she strangled Natsumi to unconsciousness.

After calming down, she realised what she has done. In a state of fear and panic of the possibility of Natsumi waking up and having her send men to kill her and possibly do something to Mahiru, she kills her.

When people blame Sato, they usually say something along the lines of "omg! Sato is so dumb, why did she do that to Natsumi? Doesn't she know that the Yakuza would kill her?" And I can bet 10 bucks that these are the same guys that don't play the games.

Sato quite literally states she wasn't in her right mind when she strangled Natsumi. She was overcome by built up anger from years of bullying from her. Having those feelings closed up for so long will only make them come back stronger.

To be honest, its kind of weird to see this as Mondo Owada had a similar outcome with his murder, as he killed Chihiro in a state of anger. But one of them is regarded as sympathetic and the other a demon.

Of course its not the same, as Sato crime has two main differences that separate her from Mondo's crime. The first one being that Sato didn't kill her victim in her fit of rage, it was after.

And yeah, Sato killed her in her state of panic, which is actually pretty similar to both Sayaka Maizono's and Leon Kuwata's motive, both being scared and in a panic that they didn't think rationally and did some dumb moves.

I can see Sato in the same light as the other two, as the three of them were put in a situation where if they don't do something, a worse thing could happen to them. So thinking fast, they resorted to murder.

And the second reason, is that Mondo showed remorse for his actions, while Sato didn't... Or is at least what you'd expect from the outside. Because in my opinion, she is remorseful about her actions, she just doesn't show them.

A great example of this is the scene right after Mahiru leaves, in which Hajime confronts Sato about Natsumi. She starts of smug and states that she probably killed herself. Bur after Hajime states that she hadn't given up, her expression changes to an odd one you wouldn't expect.

Her face turn blue and she starts to state that he is wrong while she grabs and shakes her head in what seems to be in distress. So answer me this, would a person who is cold and heartless react like this?

Sure, you could argue that she is acting like this because she got caught and knows what's gonna happen to her. But I don't think that's the case, as we have seen her breaking down in that fashion before.

I'm referring to day 4, in which we see when Fuyuhiko kills Sato. She starts screaming for forgiveness while running away. And I don't know how to explain it or if its just me, but they feel different for some reason.

Like the one we see in Danganronpa 3 has more depth and a different reason for it. What do I mean by this? Well, this is purely a theory, but when sato started saying "You're wrong" she wasn't talking to Hajime, she was talking to herself.

She is trying to convince herself that she was right on killing Natsumi, trying to convince herself she did the right thing. That she's protecting Mahiru, but deep down, she probably regrets taking the life of another.

So in conclusion, Sato is more than just a 2-dimensional character with a complex motive. But since she isn't given a lot of screen time, she sadly gets thrown aside by the fandom. Which is something that I wish to change.

And that's everything I have that I can convince you all. If your opinion has changed about her, for the better or for the worse, then I'm glad I was able to change it!

If you guys have any criticism, like I yap too much or my points may not make sense, feel free to speak out and tell me, its my first time doing one of these and I'm open to change.

And if you liked my post, then feel free to follow me! I wont promise to make threads like these constantly, but I talk about Danganronpa a lot!

Uhh anyways, Sato is peak, the student council is peak, sato should join the student council and kiss every women in there, platonically and romantically. (Kisato my beloved)

[yoonsdoll]

hi im bored and this is my professional opinion if seventeen r kitty or puppy coded and why because this is very important to me !!!!!!!!!

seungcheol : kitty coded

ok this was actually a really hard choice because he actually does have both kitty and puppy features but ultimately i decided kitty because hes so persian cat.

LOOK AT HIM POUTING.

but laura!!! he has a dog!!! YES I KNOW OKAY!! i LOVE kkuma. and as much as he wants to be a dog dad hes just a cat taking care of a dog beeeee so fr!!!!!

ok in conclusion realistically he can be both but like.. look at these photos and try spot the difference

cheol get well soon i miss u .

if u disagree then u just dont get the vision!

jeonghan : kitty coded

i have previously stated how he is a ragdoll cat. and yes, he really is.

hes so mischievous in like the best way ever, tell me a kitty wouldn't do that. U CANT!!!!

as a cat owner myself.. im just correct.

he 100% knows how to get someone to give him what he wants (treats) and he sits there all day looking fabulous and getting attention for being so cute.

also jeonghan get well soon im losing hair the longer ur gone.

anyway pls agree ive never been so confident in an answer in my life. dont ruin this

joshua : puppy coded

the more i look at shua smiling the more he reminds me of a cute puppy.

pls this man has me breaking down hes literally so cute.

i have no reason apart from the fact im so very sure he would be a puppy. and also hes an extrovert which automatically strikes me as a dog!!!

he looks like a fancy cat on a lot of pictures but dont let him gaslight u.

he told me himself hes a smiley shiba inu.

im a strong believer in puppy shua.

junhui : kitty coded

i feel like this is a very obvious answer but still

0% puppy in him. its all a very feral cat.

when i look at jun i think of a british shorthair kitty. a baby one in specific.

especially because hes playful as hell but also has his moments when he just prefers to be quiet and listen to the others.

he alternatively could just be a white and black cat.. it did occur to me while making this. however i still feel like a british shorthair is more suitable.

jun is so cat coded and even he knows it!

hoshi : kitty coded ?????

okay see my issue is that yes.. tigers are in the cat family. but do u not also ever look at hoshi playing around w the members and think that he could be a puppy if he wasnt so obsessed w tigers..

anyhow, he is kitty coded for the most part I GUESS.

sometimes he really does remind me of a hamster more than anything though, but again this isnt the point of this post.

ill give him this win and say he is a toyger cat.

HE LITERALLY LOOKS SO HAMSTER IN THE FIRST PIC ITS BUGGING ME.

look at him tryna convince everyone in that 2nd pic.. ok wtv he convinced me

wonwoo : kitty coded

so very calm, knows what his boundaries are, likes playing around once in a while.

wonwoo is THE black cat. one of those that are really well taken care of with short yet super soft fur.

same as jun.. u will never find any puppy energy in this man.

he has a dog too, but hes the most cat coded person u will ever see. this is why my cheol point was also correct.

im giggling those photos r so perfect. 3 wonwoos ^^^^^^

bye u legit cant even argue with this one if u wanted to

woozi : kitty coded

SHUT UP U KNOW IM RIGHTTTT!!

WOOZI IS SO KITTY I DONT CARE. I DONT EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

just as i know wonus a black cat, i know ujis a white cat.

hes so elegant yet so fun and so cute pls someone tie me down

the fact i already knew what photos im gonna use says enough.

i would also like to say that hes also very bear coded. like if hes not a cat hes a bear.

dokyeom : puppy coded

everyone cheered!!!!

dk has always been very puppy to me, even in interviews where hes speaking to people he doesnt know (which makes it difficult for him (and hoshi)), hes ALWAYS trying his best.

hes so cute!??!?!?! like, im really not good with dog breeds AT ALL, but he clearly is a pomeranian.

is he a grown 5'10 man? yes. is he also a very cute puppy breed? also yes. why? it just makes so much sense.

the 2 glasses photos were a coincidence but they somehow make him look even more puppy coded.

him in curly hair.. dude it doesnt get any better than that!!!

mingyu : puppy coded

DUH!!!! hes the puppiest out of all puppy in seventeen

surprisingly, i always see everyone call him a golden retriever which, personality wise I SO AGREE!!! but something itches my brain when hes compared to a husky. IT MAKES SM MORE SENSE NO??

i lied btw ive never seen anyone compare him to a husky this is me trying to drop my opinion without getting dragged.

theres not much else to say apart from that his emoji rep is litch a puppy so u cant deny it!

no matter what breed u wanna compare him to, itll still always be a dog

i truly wish i could see him as a cat but its just not right!

minghao : kitty coded

kitty coded through and through!!!!

i dont think i cld ever compare hao to a puppy?? his vibes r so cat.

SIAMESE CAT** let me say. dont u agree!!

hes so sassy and i feel like that rlly influences my opinion but also when have u ever looked at minghao and thought he was puppy coded. literally NEVER. i cant name u one time.

give him blue contacts and hes that cat in the middle (pls dont)

i rest my case thank yew!

seungkwan : BOTH?!

seungkwans a really difficult one for me. because he quite literally is both.

he has moments when hes so puppy coded then the next second hes the most kitty coded man ever.

same in selcas.. i cant even decide thru them!!!

if i really had to pick, id lean towards a cat, but again.. its too hard to decide.

therefore, he would be an orange kitty or a samoyed dog! :3

im sorry for cheating my way out of this one but i srsly cant decide.

vernon : kitty coded

chillest cat ever trust me.

vernon said himself he really likes cats and that made this even easier than it was before cause it just makes sm sense!

im aware vernon likes dogs too but him liking cats is so ?? vernon ??????

i always go back to that photo of him holding the baby kitty. hes such a cat person. literally look up vernon being a cat person on twt and theres a whole thread proving it!

this is why vernon is a siberian cat! he looks like it sm and he is chill like that ong

vernon and kitties give me life

dino : puppy coded

surprisingly i originally wanted to say kitty coded but after a think abt it.. hes clearly puppy coded

a very loved puppy by his 12 older brothers lolol

he always loves the attention and enjoys smiling and making others laugh a lot too..

do u guys remember that puppy interview? yeah.

his light brown hair was the prime border collie days!

i found that middle photo and immediately thought dino.

ok i originally didnt even mean to assign them all to breeds or wtv but it just happened... thank u for reading this is what happens when i get too bored!!! anyway i think i did pretty well so!

[cerealmonster15]

yayyy more twst sims screenshots FEATURING the twst ocs... char and dañarte have entered the chat...

HERE THEY ARE in their goofyass pose it put them in when i finished lol. in the OC LORE theyre cousins but sims doesnt let me do that in CAS unless ive got their parents in there as siblings so i had to make them brothers 😑 close enough lol. i forgot to give dañarte a necklace but whatever who give a shit

i also remembered as i was editing their house that i had wanted to make everyone a spellcaster.... idr how to do that tho.... i did move them into the neighborhood that came with the magic whatever expansion pack

char is a good boy and the second i start playing them he wants to check that his brothercousin is doing okay,,, i think ill just send them off to go meet everyone else, throw them in some jobs, then hop back to the actual twst sims

i also wanna make fidel sometime but i dont FEEEEL like it right now. also i forgot LOL

oh also here are their traits+aspirations! last name is kind of a placeholder lol i picked cobbler just cuz it's another word for a shoemaker :p

char i went with standard Good Boy traits. he really needs more character fleshing out lol..........

im actually not sure how i am gonna do the caught cheating thing when i turned off jealousy for everyone lol... i might have to make some adjustments idk, but also i dont really plan on using their household much so it's just here for flavor hehehe

here's them in their pajamas before i send them off to go meet people lol

ok i lied im making them be magic first then they can go meet everyone and THEN i can go make everyone else also be magic lol

actually i decided the main ones that mattered for them were just heartslabyul and scarabia bc i didnt feel like going all over the place and those are the ones they interact with the most in THE LORE anyway so. whatever i can just send others to go see them later if i need to lol

bitch boy playing chess w/jamil.... chars like wow i sure am glad hes making friends :^) .........

anyway i made dañarte join the entertainer career and char is a style influencer... i think that puts dañarte as cater and kalims coworker maybe? and char coworkers with vil... i think.... whatever!!! im gonna go turn everyone else into wizards now!!! i think i cant make kids spellcasters so ortho and keith will have to sit this one out i guess

also ortho wants ace dead

and now that i know about lot traits, one of the ones i gave ignihyde was cat hangout

three cats have already spawned ad just wandered all over the place jkjelfkhekfj not including the cat they already have adopted from a while ago!!!

idia's a spellcaster now! he doesnt look very happy about it lol. next is SAVANACLAW and then scarabia, cuz im doing it by neighborhoods and the rest of them are all in the first neighborhood together lol

um. okay. so idia was still here and i had leona do a RUDE INTRODUCTION bc they dont know each other yet somehow and like

first of all what is idia wearing. i dont think i put him in that. he wasnt wearing it a minute ago. second why is rude interaction a broken heart. how are you already divorced on your FIRST MEEITNG!!!! leona stays king of divorce forever...

I’m losing connection bc of the storm so post ends here!!!

[whilomm]

5 months post top surgery i have a lotta random Feelings about it. Overall, defo feel positive about it, but also random bits of hmm. Like, not negative feelings per se, just ya kno, the usual complicated mix that comes from big changes.

Sometimes i get random pangs of "aw i miss boobs a lil" like just when im sitting around the apartment and kinda missing the ability to grab a boob whenever. Which isnt unexpected at all, before the surgery i was straight up saying "gonna miss having built in stress balls". which, like. i could just buy some? maybe try and find someone else to let me have some tit time? still, in an ideal world i would have been a shapeshifter and i could have been boobless 95% of the time and then 5% of the time rock some knockers. unfortunately, im NOT a shapeshifter, so i decided to forgoe the 5% of the time i appreciated tits in order to not be fucking miserable the other 95% of the time. overall win, but still. wish i was a shapeshifter and i didnt have to make decisions and shit.

and i guess I haven't had that much gender euphoria from it, looking in the mirror its less "omg!!! yay!!! 🥰🥰🥰" and more just. "yep, that looks about right." like, i guess its just to where i kinda forget it, ya kno? i mean, i cant FORGET forget, everytime i take off my shirt im looking at how my scars are healing and pokin em and all that, but when im wearing a shirt im just not thinking about it.

which. major fucking improvement from before (constantly thinking about my chest and how uncomfortable i am and how much i hate wearing bras and how i just wanted them GONE) but maybe its sorta a "its harder to recognize the absence of dysphoria than the presence of euphoria" kinda thing. ive always had issues with emotional impermanence (if im sad ive always been sad if im happy ive always been happy), so since its not a huge euphoria thing i feel like its easy for me to forget just how much i hated it before. i look in the mirror, i try on shirts, i walk around and i forget that anythings different since it just feels correct, so when i have moments of thinking to myself "yeah this is pretty cool, idk if it was fully necessary tho" i have to actively remind myself how much i fucking hated it before.

one thing that is absolutely a 100% positive tho? fucking PHYSICAL COMFORT. god just not having to deal with goddamn H cups is a blessing in and of itself. no more bras, no more tits sliding outta place randomly at work while im doing boxes, no more boob sweat, no more underboob yeast infections, no more painful jiggling whenever i run, i can exercise without worrying about a sports bra (....theoretically. ILL START EXERCISING AGAIN EVENTUALLY I PROMMY), less back pain (less. not no. my backs still fucky lmao). its FUCKING FANTASTIC not having to worry about any of that. and shirts just fit better!!! who would have thought that massive fucking protrusions on my chest were making it harder to find clothes :0 (me i thought that)

TOP SURGERY RATING:

ability to touch boobs whenever i want: ⭐ u win some u lose some 😔

Gender Feelings: ⭐⭐⭐ yea p chill. no biggie but also might be Emotional Impermanence. just feels natural u kno?

comfort: ⭐🌟💫⭐🌠x10 million holy SHIT i was fucking DYING before.

OVERALL: yes 👍

[bismuthburnsblue]

ok so!!! i revisited my work from yesterday, going in and properly blocking out the style lines and strap (still up for change as i get into better fabrics but this is a lot more representative of what they would actually look like now!) (though i am noticing ive set my hemline lower- even extending it on nora, when anne's is quite high, so ill have to see how comfortable i feel with that)

i also took a bit out of the hips on the ally pattern which definitely helped with the shape (i was really just being lazy not doing this, ive used this pattern before and had to do that, i knew it was gonna be an issue)

Theres more notes on my personal thoughts on both patterns below the cut :)

same cw's as before for body image stuff :) (maybe this is silly but i just feel far more comfortable putting warnings + a readmore for corsetry)

(also! i will be doing a post properly introducing this project soon :) ive got a lot i want to say!!)

First up! both of these patterns are by Aranea Black, pdfs of these patterns are still available online but her website is gone now)

Ally is a 6 panel corset with extreme hip spring- heres what the pattern looks like:

i do think the hip spring gives a really dramatic shape, but i do worry that with my upholstery weight faux leather, it just wont sit nicely. on this mock up i had to slit my entire seam allowance at the waist to make it not tuck too badly, and that means cutting my boning channel in half (i think, still deciding details like that) i cant really afford to waste fabric recutting panels if i sew it and it does tuck, either.

(Technically i do have the option available to me to do a twin stitch like Anne's original corset actually has, but this wouldnt be traditional, and wasnt in my plan (even if i wasnt gonna have the bones in the leather layer, i like the /look/ of felled channels on the outside.) a twin stitch however would probably negate most the tucking on the waist point, as it opens it up rather than folding to one side.)

Secondly, the one gripe i have about this pattern is that big line of wrinkles below the waist- now some of this will be from the fabric and it not being worn in, but the "daily wear" version of this corset ive made before still has some of these wrinkles even now, especially over the first hip spring panel. i know theres ways to adjust the fitting to counter the ones over the hip, but those i think are largely from the way the fabrics pulling around the curve- its covers such a large area its bound to pull a little weird in places. I really want a smooth look, a clean finish is the most important thing to me, and i worry no matter what i do they will still be there.

I will say, Ally has a lacing gap designed into the pattern, which is something i want, as Anne's corset has one, and it automatically gives you more leeway in the fit that patterns without it just dont have.

Nora on the other hand is 8 panels, with the hip spring spread across a much further space. On paper it looks much less dramatic, but theoretically should still hold a significant amount of shape, just distributed over more panels.

I guess that would be my first area of concern, that the shape just isnt quite as dramatic as the shape on Ally. i really want something quite striking for this project and though pattern modifications can be made, i was hoping to not have to do too much past simples changes.

The 8 panels also means this pattern will likely eat up more fabric. if nothing else, theres 4 extra sides of seam allowance that the other does not have (though, these pieces will nest together better, so it could end up being negligible) it is a concern however, as im working on a very tight yardage.

One of the immediate positives of this pattern however is the lack of that wrinkle band like Ally has. Since this is worn as an outer layer thats a huge point in its favour, a nice clean finish is basically the top of my requirements list.

Nora also has no lacing gap, which is an issue for the reasons mentioned above (annes costume has a lacing gap, but also lacing gaps give more leeway in the fit, allowing you to be a little tighter on some days than others.) Its possible to draft in a lacing gap relatively easily, but it is something i have to consider.

Its completely arbitrary, but i also feel like the way the strap joined onto this pattern was nicer- it lined up better with the pre existing panels and i think it'd join on as a continuous piece better. again, its extremely minor, i just think its cleaner with less fiddling on my end.

I think im still thinking the same way i was yesterday, that Nora is probably the pattern thats working better for me for this, but its still very up in the air for me. i feel like theres more pattern modifications to do there, but that its probably going to be worth doing the work? but i am definitely interested in what anyone else might think!

[kiwibirdlafayette]

Its Gays on A Boat! (working title)

There's a multiversal threat, and theres only one group of idiots that can stop it! Its taking out the S1 Mianite world and its comin for the rest of the universes in the vast SMP Multiverse o nooo

Mianite spin off pitch; Post DSMP; canon divergent. uhh fills in what Sonja was up to during Isles and after the fact. mostly just random ideas i had i cant write prose for shit

A few years after S2 Sonja and Wag get kinda left behind. Tom returns to Astrakheins with Alice to find himself, Jordan depressedly goes off to become a pirate, Tucker leaves the universe to pursue other things

The two of them end up gettin into more powerful magics outta boredom (which Martha doesnt really like all that much) and in her explorations, Sonja stumbles upon the idea of necromancy. i dont have it fleshed out but. she talks to Philza (whos in the S1 world with Techno, pre-SMP Earth) who introduces her to Kristen. exploration of Capsizes limbo and basically she brings back Capsize

Canonically SMPEarth takes place right before Isles. and uhh While Jordan and Tom have reunited when Martha and Alice send the two back in time to investigate x thing idk i didnt finish the series yet (Mianitian Isles) Sonja is kinda just tryna help Capsize find herself again bc she didnt come back right (big ol memory issues). Post Isles Tom ends up on their boat with no idea where Jordan went (spoiler: bro ended up in the End of the DSMP, pulled there by XD) Jordan gets involved with the DSMP Syndicate bc of Phil and Techno

((theres a gap in story here but tldr; before the nuclear bomb that resets the server goes off, the trio find Jordan and take him and Tubbo- maybe also Ranboo and Michael- onto the boat and they fuck off to.... somewhere. Phil and Techno have their own way out i personally like the Syndicate ending Phil wrote i dont wanna mess with it))

A lot of it kinda focuses on the four reconnecting and repairing their faults of the past and a continuation of this multiversal threat that Jordan was investigating on the DSMP which i cant really explain yet. basically think world historian but a lot worse with quintessence stuff

like Jordan trying to make it up to a Capsize for how he treated her, but who doesn't remember him that well, Jordan reconnecting with his son that he basically had to abandon when the Realm of Mianite was falling apart, the tension between Sonja and Tom, where Sonja has kinda been Capsize's friend all this time while he was gone and regretting not being around, Tom helping Capsize through this revival state relating his own experience where he cant remember the ghosts of his past life all that well- and more!

also shenanigans. tons of mianite-style silly shenanigans cause we love some absolute 180 contrast in these damn things

other maybe plot points

Furia. yea theyre back

redbeard coping with the fact his sister is back. havent decided how much she remembers of him for angst reasons >:]

if i stick to ranboos canon ending for their character, them finding ranboo in the nether at some point

tom really leaning into the godhood of bein mecha dianite

meeting their origins alts from starborne kingdom of dianite when the timelines start to get fucky and blended together

motanite returns, and most of the Ruxomar Alts (including Spark whos been in the vast expanse with S2Ianite and comes back to roast Jordan)

Waglington. just waglington.

ok thats it for now. ill take questions i guess i know its very disorganized bc im still writing OSMP stuff and im tryna to not do two at once

[jupitercl0uds]

hi! i'm ash

they/them/xe/xem • panromantic • asexual • non binary • autistic (with suspicions of having adhd) • english • atheist quaker • a tad bit silly

been on the tumbler since 2021 so i know my way around here but i dont get every little reference (i get most and for the ones i dont i just nod and smile along). i am still a teenager so some Classic Posts are older than me and most are from when i was in primary school.

i dont really have a sophisticated tagging system, but if it helps, spouting to the void is my text post tag. i dont even strictly use it for text posts tbf

blogs i run:

this one (obviously)

@blues-amazing-blog - oc blog (currently on hiatus)

@wswe-autism-fic - fanfic blog (for waluigi says 'wa' everyday until dekuyama is popular). i also treat this as an alt account for fandom stuff sometimes

@knuckles-with-a-keyboard - silly little blog where i pretend to be boom!knuckles (i really really love this blog its so fun)

@jupitercl0uds-art - my art blog (shock horror)

@nonbinary-sticks-the-badger - my sonic blog

external links (whoops forgot to add this)

maybe one day ill set up a linktree idk

ao3

letterboxd

twitter (i only use this for posting from my switch now)

spotify profile

email me - jupitercl0uds.burner@gmail.com

dm me on discord: jupitercl0uds

i think thats it

click this link for more external links including some of the above ones but specifically how to contact me if i cant use tumblr

interests:

omg i love so many things its not even funny. a few important ones are waluigi (special interest), sonic the hedgehog (special interest AND hyperfixation (omg please kill me)), art (like, as a general thing, but particularly visual) and you WILL find me randomly posting oh-so-passionately about something ive never even mentioned before.

i do animation and illustration but that's over on my art blog. also all my animations are WIPs. you probably won't find anything other than a few weird lip syncs from when i was like 11 (i got into animation because of gacha life and animation memes). most of my art is sonic atm lol.

i also read and write fanfic! my wattpad and ao3 is jupitercl0uds :D

wattpad is mostly old stuff, crack and occasional reposts of my ao3 stuff. ao3 is mostly whatever is on my mind at the moment and WSWE.

misc

occasionally i get all heated up about actually important stuff. that's usually sandwiched inbetween my regular goofy goober behaviour. for the basic gist of it: very left wing, the tories are cunts, vote green, free palestine. you also need to understand the weight of that sentence because i hate swearing.

i have other socials too but i dont really use them that much. got bored of twitter and i forget about all my other accounts. only ones i use now are whatsapp (lmao), tumblr and i guess ao3 and wattpad. theres no real point in linking something i havent used in months

anyway, have a nice day and please go to bed on time!

faves (non-exhaustive)

AUTISM BOY!!!! ANXIETY GUY!!!! MILES 'TAILS' PROWER!!!! he's been my favourite sonic character since i was little!!!! except for that brief period where it was amy because i found out tails was a boy and i, as a 7-year-old girl who had just learned about misoginy, decided amy was better because she was a girl. and that briefer period where it was cream because she had confetti in sonic dash.

my favourite iterations of him are scu tails, classic tails and sonic boom tails!!! i h/c him as autistic, having anxiety, low self-esteem but also being really cheerful and nonchalant about a lot of stuff. i enjoy trans tails of all kinds, but i believe in cis gnc tails.

NON-BINARY ICON!!!! TOP SURGERY GUY!!!! WALUIGI!!!! call me thomas jefferson cause i have an entire binder on this guy. waluigi is THE blorbo from my spin-off-party-shows. i got into him because 'hahahaha! it is the funny garlic man's funny rose partner!' and that became 'they could marry me and i'd say yes on the basis that we'd get to see each other everyday, even if i only love him as a friend.

im very passionately hateful about 'hot' waluigi. shut up. waluigi is perfect. i hope he can be canon one day <3 i h/c him as autistic, transmasc non binary and really into gothic lolita. i interpret their relationship with wario as romantic partners and waluigi being super super poor. also, wlw mlm solidarity with rosalina!!!!!

anti-faves

dr starline i love a bisexual icon as much as the next person but starline is not it. i want him to Suffer. which is why i then go on to make loads of fanart of him where he's crying over something. in the one shown above, i have just kicked him in the balls (full image). i also would love to be a VA for him because that'd really piss him off. good style tho. you go girl.

manjimutt (sorry but i only have 1 image of him)

hello to the other living yokai watch fan out there. i hate manjimutt. when i was younger i felt sorry for him, cause i was like 'oh, poor guy, always going to jail!!!' no. die. i do not like him. i hate manjimutt. i do like saying his name tho. MAnji-mutt! i think i hate him more than starline, because at least starline has redeeming qualities. the only redeeming qualities manjimutt has is pity because hes not actually committing crimes. thats it. hes not a nice person. hes just a guy. hit him with a wooden plank (har har).

that poor poor poodle though

posts i like

idk posts on my own blog i like a lot. idk if thisll be A Thing because im literally only doing tthis because of the first post on the list

recognising a url and the chaos that followed

stuff about my lgbtq+ identity idk

THIS IS HOW MUCH I KNOW ABOUT SONIC OK!!!!!

can you call me that slur?

[nexfarious]

hi! i finished binging dq recently and i wanted to share some of my thoughts bc the brainrot it has given me is literally insane like. You dont understand. i didnt want to put this probably gigantic block of text in the ao3 comments so i figured id send it here so you can decide if you want it posted or not!

back to the topic i need to put thief in a blender (said with as much affection as possible btw). theyre soo painfully realistic and have a very unique perspective on the killing game which isnt rlly explored in fanfics so im eating it up! their talent is so cool and i cant wait to see them use it more later on. i also love how despite their paranoia and distrust they are still. Kind. Like they still reached out to ryouma and it literally saved his life!!!!! btw i think not killing him off in ch2 was a really good writing choice bc i think him dying after That scene with thief would just destroy them entirely -but on the topic of ryouma! im very glad you decided to give more spotlight to characters that werent given much of it in canon (or fanon ngl). him and tsumugi are characters that im rlly interested in but the game straight up gave them next to nothing, which i guess is very usual for danganronpa but yknow. Its still disappointing

thief and saiharas relationship makes me want to use both of them as a chew toy bc theyre so. So!!!!! im literally obsessed w them. we are still pretty early in the killing game but so many of their moments are already rotating in my mind At All Times. from the detective/criminal dynamic, to how much they care abt each other (thief obviously having a soft spot for shu despite not trusting people is soooo cute i need them gone). though that one scene in ch19 (i think?) where its said that their situation wld be considered romantic if it thief didnt have a knife at his throat is Life Changing and ive been thinking abt it so much -the contrast is just so good and the scene itself is so sad. also "Maybe this really was truly Shuichi, another side reflected to all of you, gleaming in the light like shards of a prism. Maybe you couldn’t see all of the sides right now, in this moment, but what you could see was so wonderful, spots danced in the back of your eyes." is such a beautifully written paragraph but the fact that thief thought this in the middle of a trial is so hilarious to me but i still support them. sometimes you really need to admire your Friend in a life or death situation to be able to push through. I get it

ok enough of those two. i love how you take the time to explore thief's relationships w other people as well. the break up scene between them and tsumugi had me blankly staring at my screen for good 30 seconds i think. the brief thief/ouma collab was great as well. i already mentioned ryouma but he is so dear to me head in hands.......cant wait for ch3 to physically beat the shit out of me

i have more thoughts but i also think this is too long already so ill stop it here. anyways i love your writing so much and im looking forward to more of dq! take care of yourself and have a nice day/night!

hi umm . this ask destroyed me emotionally, threw me out the window and then stole my lunch money /pos

this is genuinely so so lovely to read, i can’t believe you would take the time out of your day to come and tell me what you think of my fic,,, that’s so sweet <3

thief is my little freak whom i need to microwave at the highest temperatures. i think a lot of people should be more selfish in the killing game tbh, there’s a lot of characters who are ready to throw away everything for each other, i mean even a lot of the killers have selfless motives (kirumi, kaede) which is totally fine but!!! where my selfish bitches at where are the guys who just want to survive. despite all their paranoia though, they are a good person at heart which is something i’ve always found compelling in writing them.

WHY DIDN’T RYOMA LIVE IN CANON!!! you’re telling me a major theme of the game is overcoming yourself and pushing through despite hopelessness and then you just . kill off the other guy who’s canonically suicidal? it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth tbh. “oh you have nothing left to live for? die” i love ryoma i love mugi (obviously) and they deserve better than what the game gave them

they haven’t had much time for each other because we’re not even halfway through the game but UGH thiefhara means so much to me . thief wants to keep everyone at arm’s length but is actually way too soft to go through with it because there’s a detective with pretty eyes (which is so real btw) . i cant tell you anything about the plot but let it be known that chapter three is gonna have quite a few important moments in their relationship!!!

tbh the knife scene was something i just came up with as i was writing and thought “yeah okay that would be funny” and now people seem to love it,,, good thing i love it too

thief’s friends are so incredibly important to me btw . tsumugi who just wanted to be their friend but was rejected and has turned to angie and tenko, ryoma who still doesn’t have a reason to keep going but wants to try because there is someone who cares enough to reach out, kokichi (derogatory/with love), kaede who betrayed them in thief’s mind and still haunts them - someone who broke their trust after they went out on a line for someone, kaito whom i need thief to spend more time with because honestly he deserves more scenes

i hope chapter three slam dunks you into another dimension anon (said with so much sincerity and love), we got major canon divergence incoming ^-^

ANYWAY !!! don’t ever apologise for sending me your thoughts it’s actively encouraged and motivates me to write!! if you ever have anything more to say you are more than welcome to leave a comment or another ask i promise it makes me giggle and do a little spin in my chair of evil . hope you’re doing well too anon

[toytulini]

I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?

-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got

-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.

-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.

-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.

-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?

-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.

-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.

-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.

-god we really are so weird about barbie

-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.

-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?

-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.

-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3

-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.

-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.

-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.

-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too

-bibbleless movie. add bibble.

[deathschool]

hey hi Vito sounds cool as hell and I'd love to hear more about him sometime if you would care to share

OMG HII THANK U i would love to 🙇‍♂️

under the cut bc this got...long im kind of just describing his whole backstory sorry LOLLL

OK SO not all of this is solid or set in stone yet bc he (and his crew) is relatively new.... but i have the general Ideas for just about everything!!!

basically. Ok so his full name is vito ironbreaker, and i gave him a wizard last name even tho hes a p101 oc (for all intents and purposes) bc he is a scorned wanna-be wizard! In his youth he tried to learn magic at ravenwood, but he was highly destructive and ruthless in his attacks to the point that merle was greatly worried of his intentions... (this is also post-morganthe but by how much is debatable bc of how weird that timeline is. Hes 23 by the start of pirate101 though [which i see as congruent to wiz, which starts w my oc at 12 yrs old] if that gives you an indicator.)

Im not sure if he has any family.....my options right now are that hes an orphan who was given a chance, or hes from a pretty high-standing wizard family who ended up the family disappointment lol. (i might go with the second one honestly)

Anyways, merle talks to him and vito takes it BAD, he refuses to see that theres anything wrong with what hes doing or his intentions and just gets really angry. merle ends up having to expel him and this is where vito's downfall begins.

He attempts to try and learn magic anyway, but without the resources or connections (like morganthe had) he cant really go far. eventually he ends up running off to [random world ill decide on later for plot impact, maybe skull or marley] where he ends up in the slums and finds a group of witches. Hes very intrigued by this ripoff magic and immediately tries to get in their fold, which is much easier than it was at ravenwood. he learns a pretty fair amount and grows in power.

Sometime during this hes traveling (or perhaps in the same place. again ill hammer out the details later) and runs into a group of ravenwood students on a field trip. this launches him back into his horrible feelings towards ravenwood, and when one student kind of wanders off from the rest, he "warns" them about it. This student listens intently, having a lot of insecurity about being there themself, and he ends up being so convincing that the young wizard leaves a changed person. He hopes theyll start to convince others of ravenwood's corruption, but past that, he forgets them.

skip forward a bit, he's been practicing with other witches still and growing in power. He still has pretty nefarious intentions behind it all though, and hopes to one day be able to tear down the wizard population himself. Gotta dream big i guess.....

anyway hes doing all this plotting for a while until soon he runs into a ragtag pirate crew... consisting of shannon ward and maeve, my other pirate ocs! im also still hammering out the details here.... im thinking hes antagonistic to them at first and they maybe fight before hes like "hmmmmm i can use these people for my own gain >:)" and joins their crew.

initially hes just in it for his own purposes and to hopefully use them as pawns in his battle against wizardry, but over time he starts to actually feel.... Remorse?! Sympathy?! Friendship?!?! he has a hard time getting used to that. during his travels with the crew (who are also taking on the main story plot of pirate) he starts to slowly become a better person and utilize his witchcraft for good. He's SHOCKED at himself when his first instinct once when seeing someone injured and in need is to....actually help them?!

Anyways so the whole p101 main questline goes as it does. yada yada hes all niceys now.

but that doesnt mean his past wont catch up to him...... years later, a certain young wizard who got some horrible advice from a witch has hit their breaking point, and using their twin's identity, they start rallying forces against ravenwood, spreading lies about the school to grow an army against it. vito happens to run across them on one of their recruiting trips, and he thinks theyre a little familiar, but he has no idea.

But they know exactly who he is.

they tell him theyre finally realizing his goal, that soon ravenwood will crumble under their feet. vito is horrified to hear this, especially now that hes starting to remember the more they talk. It really hits him the damage he caused during his dark times, and hes determined to do what he can to fix this mess....

that arc is still forming in my brain so theres not much else i can say on it ^_^ Sorry to infodump about LITERALLY his entire story on you but um....... autism

I hope you like him!!! hes definitely an oc im very proud of (as well as his entire crew TBH)

also i LOVED answering this so if anyone wants to know abt any of my ocs feel free to ask!!! ^_^

[r0ttensunf]

ive heard closer when i was 10 years old, i wanted to sing it with my best friends in a school talent show... that was the first time that ive decided to take a "professional" take on an art project. some time later ive listened to eastside and that song caried me through 2018 wich was one of the most traumatic years of my life, i was fouding out about my bisexuality in a toxic household and toxic classroom in school had no one there for me but then i found out about you for real. Ive listened to strangers cause i knew lauren jauregui but something about you were diferent. I saw some videos about you instantly feel for your beauty (like a 12 yearold who just undertood she liked girls would) and as time passed your music stuck with me more and more. in 2019 i created fan accounts to post edits fanarts all of that for you i developed so much of my editting and desing and ilustration skills consuming your music. In the pandemic your album Manic changed everything for me. i was in my most depressive fase, stuck in my home with a mother who didnt knew how to deal with her daughters feelings and a dad who seam to not care. my mom would scream at me for crying to loud and for not beeing able to get out of bed to shower but hearing your music made me wipe my tears and smile. ive always had a troubled relationship with the idea of motherhood, i kinda still do, but when you annouced that you were pregnant it was the start of a change of vision for me making me see how trully beautiful beeing a mother can be. then iichliwp came out and what a piece of masterpiece that album is. within your whole discography every word you say seems to echo inside my chest following each beat. your lyrics been nailed in my bones since that first time i heard your voice in closer when i was 10. eventho i became a fan in 2018, those almost 6 years having you as a part of my life were lifechangimg. after my parents divorced i became closer to my dad because he would ask to listen to your songs with me in the car, last year he took me to your concert in sao paulo. Because of you im able now to see that motherhood doesnt have to be exaustimg and clonficted. because of you ive learned to not listen to shit about my gender, my sexuality and mostly about how i decide i want to be. Now, youre back realeasing the most vulnerable songs in your career and all i wanted more then ever was to give you the tightest hug. ive went to sleep hugging my pillow so many times wishing one day id be able to feel your arms around me to comfort me. But eventho my life is a mess now with the transition from adolence and adulthood with me becoming 18 this year, right now all i wanted was to give you a hug so i could confort you. i know i dont know you, but thats one of the prettiest parts, how youre able to make me the happiest girl in the world without even trading words with me. how youre able to get this part of me that no one else in the world can. ive liked other artists before, but as ive been growing up none of them stayed as strong as you do. when the end came out i skip school cause i couldnt stop crying. i was so scared of losing you. i cried the whole day and guess what? my dad was the first person to confort me, the same that who seemed to not care before you. im still so scared of losing you. Not just for me, but you have such a beautiful son, friends who love you and other fans who also care so deeply for you. ive cryied not only cause youre halsey, but also just as a person who has been through such a dificult battle all those years. we still know so little, but i cant express to you enough how deeply i care about you. im sorry if there were people who made you not belive in those words anymore, but for me i can asure you ill be here for your music, your art, your truth. youre so strong please know that there are milions of people out there who are proud of you. i cant even imagine how hard it must be not only to deal with health issues like this but also now publically. gosh i just wished i could do something.

My own fans are hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet. Not speaking for all of you, of course. But it used to be just a minority that were awful to me and now it seems like a majority have only stuck around to chime in occasionally with their opinion of how much they hate me or how awful I am. it’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it.

When I got sick all I could think about was getting better so I could come back and be a part of THIS again, but I don’t even know what *this* is anymore and I want to crawl in a hole and I regret coming back.

[cerealmonster15]

ok twst sims update from when i was playing last night, continuation of my blabbing here lol + some DOODLES about it

opens discord dms...

ok so i think i literally was planning on just going to my heartslabyul household and organizing their garden a little but i did not end up doing that at all, bc i immediately got distracted by i guess the new(? idk when they implemented it) 'event' system in sims 4 in real time where theres like, weekly goals for shit you can unlock? anyway this one was about the grim reaper and i wanted to unlock the reaper scythe earring for my diasomnia boys [i unlocked it and then forgot to give it to them lol]

but i had tasks to do! including asking some sims about ambrosia. this is what silver had to say about it

hes really excited about necromancy or whatever i guess

i did complete this week's tasks for the event thing but i immediately got distracted in the middle of it because i forgot that i'd ALSO toggled recently the story progression for relationships, as i mentioned in the other post i linked. so i see this stuff

and im like. when did sebek start dating jamil. when did silver start dating cater. why do they look like Hell [they had just come home from work and were Exhausted lol]

so i've been sleuthing around trying to find other relationships that have spawned [i cant always remember if it's something i did or if it happened on its own lol] and like i checked beloved son juice spade, where i could see i had been working on forming the first year's polycule with him last time i played- but also. chenya was there.

meanwhile ACE had formed no new romances but he DID form HATER BEEF with ORTHO FOR SOME REASON SKDJHKGSJD

[sorry ortho literally doesnt look like ortho LOL i dont use CC and i believe i didnt have the option to make kids hair blue]

one day ill learn how 2 draw chenya but NOT TODAY IM BUSY SOWWY KING

trey also had started a strong romance with floyd,,, and like i think i had him start something with jade a while ago but never maintained it / a while ago before i got a certain mod to help w/this, there used to be a lot of relationship decay bc i had trouble keeping up w/all the different households lol so i think jade and trey just hadnt gotten much attention but they look so funny in treys relationship slots

i think when the game does it by itself it just slots them as partners immediately so like im assuming it's treating floyd and trey as partners, idr exactly, but this just looks like trey and jade are best friends w/some budding romantic tension, and then floyd just walked up to trey and was like hey wanna go smash our faces together KLFHSLKDJGKL. godspeed trey good luck w/whatever that is

and then cater and trey have a romantic bond but i guess hadnt actually kissed yet so i decided to move them along so they could be an Official Couple but like.

right after they kissed, caters son walked up and was Not Having It kfsdhlkJFDSKLJKLG

anyway we got the item that let us summon the grim reaper

i tried so hard to get cater to hook up with him but sims 4 said NO FUN ALLOWED THIS TIME >:'(

thats ok tho he can just be an ace aro king and we can be besties instead :] it's also really funny seeing The Grim Reaper respond to social interactions like an average sim ksdlghkljf

ANYWAY,

chenya was scared of him. but also still dressed for the pool. and thinking about flirting with trey fdjksjfgklsd deuce was also scared of the grim reaper bc my poor boy is like constantly Haunted. i think he has three fears now and i dont know how to Help Him

i jumped around a bit more and found rook and jade have a romance and i truly dont remember if i did that or if the game did it kfdsjfkljsd but i DO like jade/rook so theres a good chance It Was Me, but i have no memory of it kfdsjklfs.

vil also has beef with jamil and azul

but thats been there for a lil while and i think i remember seeing it sometime after i was playing jamil or azul and they were on a date at a convenience store that vil was Also At, and vil was 🧍 standing like right in the midst of them so i think it did that thing where he inserted himself into a group convo with them and then got mad that they were flirting, bc i think sims usually get mad when 2 are flirting within a 3+ convo LOL

hes in his crumplebottom era. no pda in my lobby.

i had idia hit on cater by bragging about his gamer skills

then i found out idia also had a game-spawned romance with none other than

KALIM JSKFJSDLKJKFLKSD despite the fact that he was like actively currently annoyed by CHEERY PEOPLE [i think bc rook was there and i have him as cheerful lol]

idia voice wow all these bubbly extroverts suck wheres my boyfriend kalim al asim kJFLDSJFD

ok almost done now we're back at silver and cater again where kfdljsfkljs silver was still Yearning so i had him invite cater over to try and clear the wish to Smooch Boyfriend but like. i could NOT get the make out option to appear and thats specifically the one he'd rolled for so i was trying to spam romance w/them and it was like

i had them do their first kiss. then cater auto kissed silvers cheek and it was cute!

[i'd also given silver a small makeover lol]

then i saw shortly after the convo turned to very awkward and i was like huh why, theyre having positive reactions, theyre both flirty still, what- LILIA?!?!?!?!

dad walks up from behind them and is like ARE YA WINNIN SON??? so i got him the hell out of there klsdjflk he was embarrassing his son.... then as soon as he was out it swapped back to romantic interactions lol but i still couldnt get make out to appear. but u know what did if you saw the other post where i talked about this

silver nearly instantly had the option to propose to cater but he coudlnt bc their friendship is BARELY ANYTHING [you can see it peeking out on the right over there lol] so like. flash fire romance of them spawning something, me spamming romance interactions to try and fulfill the want, and no friendship progression fdksjgkldf

anyway then they all went to work can cater just kinda hung out in the kitchen w/their broken stove

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BYE!!!

[thedisablednaturalist]

I just put this in the replies of another post talking about how the ER hates chronically ill people but ill put it here as well

Also adding that they were able to see me immediately and gave me my own private room and many of the nurses were goofing around in the hallway. I told the doctor I was feeling a tiny bit better and she told me I looked a lot better and the nurse taking out my IV said oh then I guess I don't have to feel bad about this *she proceeded to RIP OUT THE IV AND BANDAGES SUPER HARD* and then I think she made a joke about putting me back in pain but I dont remember what it was exactly. It was like "time to put you back in pain" or something

Apparently I'm all better now because I could talk and breathe shallowly and was no longer screaming and crying and literally throwing up whenever I moved and was instead still shallowly breathing and quietly crying because I was too tired to cry. They found one issue and immediately discharged me. I can't sleep because I'm scared it will happen again and it was so painful I thought I would die so im afraid ill die if i fall asleep. My dad and I told them over and over my chronic illnesses have never gotten this bad but they still decided to blame it all on my uti and existing chronic illnesses. I wish they at least held me till morning to make sure their treatment works (antibiotics and iv steroids bc I told them I usually get steroid injections for my back). They didn't even ask if I felt safe to go home, they just discharged me. I felt bad for keeping my dad there at the time and I was pressured into leaving so I signed the papers but in hignsight I probably could've refused the discharge somehow.

These nurses were not overworked, were paid well, it was a slow night, they had plenty of beds, (i learned this from listening to my dad chatting with several nurses and the doctor throughout the stay). This treatment is not due to necessity. This treatment is ableism and ignorance and lack of giving a shit and is so much worse in places where the nurses ARE actually overworked and the hospital is underfunded and overcrowded.

Also if ERs are indeed "for people dying" then why wont they move me to long term stay? Where are those rooms? Is my pain not bad enough for long term care until they figure out what's wrong? Like i get its expensive but i cant fucking do this anymore. Why are those of us with chronic illnesses not admitted or at least given the option for admittance? Why is it only in tv shows and movies where this happens? And everyone assumes it happens bc they are led to believe this, so when you tell them the hospital won't help they think you are lying for attention. Because of course every doctor is like dr. House and will work tirelessly to figure out whats wrong and fix you. Even in this horrible pain where i literally couldn't breathe I didn't want to go to the ER until my parents and boyfriend begged me. We get called stupid and stubborn for not going in the worst of our pain, and then when we do go we are just kicked right back out with a huge bill.

my mom keeps trying to get me to go to the ER when im having a flare up and i have no idea what to tell her.

because ive BEEN to the ER before. you wanna know what they did? while i was sweating, shaking, and sobbing, curled in a ball of pain?

they asked me if i was on my period. when i told them no, they asked me if i was pregnant.

when i told them no, because i wasn't sexually active, they forcibly tested me anyways, and then when it came back negative said, "well maybe you should just take a few deep breaths", gave me liquid ibuprofen, and sent me home.

disabled people, in this particular situation disabled afabs, are never fucking listened to.

the ER staff literally LAUGHED at me multiple times. they pointed at me when i was having one of the worst episodes of my life and snickered.

so no, i do not want to go to the fucking ER. my heating pad, ice packs, and nausea meds are going to help me more than anything a hospital could do.