#still can't believe they did that lol
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This will have no consequences whatsoever
#still can't believe they did that lol#grian#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#wlsmp#wildlife smp#wlsmp spoilers#wild life smp#wlsmp s4#meme#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#mcyt#mcytblr#bamboozlers#wild life#wildlife
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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in honor of catradora day here’s the anniversary piece i did 2 years ago<3
#catradora#spop#spop fanart#catra#adora#just sketching#can't believe i never posted this here#i went to reblog it and realized that this was the ONE place i never shared it to rip#one of the few pieces of spop art i did that i still like lol#fun fact! spop was the first fandom that i started doing human art for#it made me want to actually start improving my art so i really owe this show (and this pairing) a lot<3
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feeling a bit sad tonight
#i can't believe summer is basically over#i feel like i hardly spent time w friends n did anything really#like i know i did but still idk#and i'm sad because i feel so disconnected from everyone right now#like idk i feel like ive made so much progress this year mentally but i have no one to talk abt it with which is sad#and just in general the things going on in my life#they were onto smth when they said not to trust how u feel abt ur life after 9pm lol#i'm actually really looking forward to sept / autumn and im doing okay its just idk#diary#tiyas thoughts
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I was going through some old photos, and I found this one of me when I was 27 years old. My hair is, definitely, from the 80s. 🤣🤣 I can't believe that it has been 37 years since that photo was taken. Time flies. Live each day to the fullest because before you're realize it, you're 64 years old, and you're wondering where did the time go?
#me#27 years old#old photos#i can't believe that I'm 64#i still feel like i did in that photo#time flies#where did all the time go#live life fully#celebrate every day#have fun#be kind#be the joy#love#happiness#thank you#sharing#joy#I'm so old#lol
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Let us pray for [y]our salvation.
and here's two views of the window w/o geki b/c i spent way too long on it lmao:
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid fanart#gekiyaku#kazehiki#i still can't believe i actually pulled this off WOO#i had the idea for a long ass time but was putting it off b/c i didnt think i could do it... but i think i did so yayy#tried doing this in ibispaint at first; hated how it was coming out so i came crawling back to firealpaca lmaooo sorry ibis </3#i really gotta maybe mess with the brushes?? i think its the brush options that fuck me up. and ONLY on desktop??#cause on mobile i feel its better/fine and i have more control over them. idk i gotta keep experimenting#at this point i mostly just use ibis for extra effects that firealpaca doesn't have. thank god for .psd compatibility between both#the other reason i was trying to use ibis is b/c i heard something about a built-in stained glass effect filter and i was gonna try it#but i ended up just doing it all myself by hand in firealpaca so LMAOOO#feel free to gather your own thoughts on what this means :3
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Time travel is pretty op in League, and doubly so in Arcane, the drawbacks might be devastating tho.
This exchange always comes to mind because it's so ironic, Ekko does that all the time with the Z-Drive he just doesn't have it right now. For the concept to then be straightforwardly called out as dangerous just screams dark foreshadowing to people (Ekko) who practice it.
Ekko even has a real voice line where he jokes about the after-effects of time travel.
#arcane#ekko arcane#ekko#ekko is such a well of angst#it's already a mindfuck to literally experience other timelines none of your companions remember or expeirenced#so you there's a lingering feeling that you can't be sure it happened#but you have this power and you KNOW it did but some timelines are SO horrible why bother believing it happened#now include the possibility of BRAIN DAMAGE#and even if he noticed Ekko would still keep going becuz if he had the opportunity to change things from going wrong he'd take it#look at what happened with cait and the crystal he wanted to use it and was steered away#Ekko's probably going to be more reluctant to listen to other's caution and follow his gut#arcane meta#ekko lol#league of legends
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Unnecessary discussion about Chat Noir and the Drums
There’s something I love so much about Chat playing the drums in Horrificator. This is something that’s been on my mind since I was 13, so hold on here.
First, obviously, Adrien also plays the piano - which obviously still has a lot of meaning!! - I’m not here to diss on the piano, there’s a lot of freedom of expression in every instrument type and music expression in general, but there’s a reason why some people are more inclined to different instruments, and I think there’s a lot more to it than just sound, but feeling as well. The role you play. How it feels to play it alone vs. playing it with others, if it’s typically something that you can play alone vs. in a group.
So first, the piano, and how I think it relates to Adrien’s character, plus how it relates to those points.
The piano, let’s be real, is something that a lot of us were forced to take lessons for at some point. It’s something that has ties to high society (there’s a HUGE discussion and so much more to say about that, but let’s not go there) and honestly?? I think it works pretty well with symbolizing the obsession with perfection that Gabriel shoves onto him. I’ve known many piano players, and while some genuinely loved playing it, it was always easier to somehow stumble onto someone with a deep hatred for it after being forced into lessons. Whenever I asked them why they hated it, I got almost the same answer every time: “I need to be perfect.” (Along with people saying that they were forced to lol)
Then there’s the role you play. You can play with people in a band, an orchestra, as an accompanist, a duet, at a bar with a bunch of people singing - whatever - music has many forms, and many different connections. But the piano is something you can play solo, no need for anyone else. It isn’t what you can do with other people that I’m focusing on for this, it’s the fact that you don’t need anyone. You can play alone, and it’ll still be fine. You can be alone, and you’re still fine - perfect even - which is something that Gabriel shoves down his throat, resistant to him playing with his friends by touching on this ideology.
Which is a glimpse into how he sees Adrien, and how Adrien experiences life. He can be alone, in fact he’s more perfect when��he’s alone. And when other people are added, the attention to his perfection is taken away bit by bit, until he’s not good enough. He has to play solo in concert halls, on stage for everyone to watch, not in the back of a bar, playing with his friends.
Alright, so now we move to Chat Noir and the drums. The main play of this fake essay.
It would be so easy to just ignore everything and just go “haha, he’s the energetic one, so ofc Ladybug gave him the drums! And they’re an easy instrument to play, etc.” but that’s far from the truth.
Ok, so I’m not a drum player or percussionist in any way, but I am a bass player, and genuinely love the drums so much because they’re incredibly important, and here’s my cheesy analogy: the drums are the heart of the band, keeping everyone on beat, it’s what you feel at the centre of it all. The band is nothing without the drums, without the percussion (The bass is what connects the band to the beat of the drums, kinda like the blood vessels, but sadly this ain’t about bass). Like do you know how easy it is for a band to fall apart if they don’t have a drummer??? You need a drummer. You literally can’t survive without a drummer, because even if you manage to work together, use the bass as a backing, whatever you try, there’s still not much of a heart left.
But besides that, do you know how hard it is to play the drums??? You can’t just throw someone crazy, or energetic there just because “crazy drummers lol” you need someone who listens. Who can set the beat. Someone you can rely on, because they are the person in control, even if they aren’t as flashy as the guitar player. Reliable is the word that comes to mind. The drums can make or break a band.
And wanna know who that reminds me of?
Yeah. I highly doubt that the writers put this much thought into a random five second scene in an episode of season one, but it fits with Chat Noir SO well.
Unlike the piano, the drums are almost solely played in a group setting - you need other people, and other people need you - he needs other people in his life, his friends are needed, but they also need him. Ladybug needs him, along with all the other heroes in Paris, whether he sees it or not. He seems to get in a state of thinking he’s not needed, but i do really think he’s the emotional glue that keeps the team connected, the heart that keeps them beating. If he’s isolated, he can’t quite reach his full potential that he can when he’s allowed to be around others, just like they can’t reach their own without him.
But on top of that, I think the stereotypes of the drums actually works in his favour for the next part.
Breaking free from his dad, and being his own person, letting that fame go and embracing what he wants... well, to some that would look stupid.
Relating it to music, the piano is flashy, you can play it solo, it sounds impressive, looks impressive, and people won’t think you’re just hitting pots and pans in the garage when you say you play it. But the drums are underestimated, a lot of people think you don’t need much practice, that they’re just the guys who sit at the back of the stage, not doing much, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Just like Adrien finally being who he wants wouldn’t be stupid, it could never be stupid, but there’s a stigma. But letting go of his flashy, solo life, and being the heart of his friend group is something that I think makes him truly happy as Chat Noir, and hopefully he gets to be like that as Adrien too.
Like Plagg said, Chat Noir and Adrien are both the real him, and I think the drums capture that perfectly. The heart and freedom, the meticulousness (rather than perfection) and steadiness, those are good qualities of a drummer.
I dunno, I just think it fits.
(sdfghjklkjhgf again I should state that acoustic versions of songs exist, and you can play songs without a drum and it sounds fantastic, but I’m not going into that today. Just talking generalization, and playing in a group setting).
#I hope I didn't sound like an absolute idiot#lol I don't wanna sound like Luka#this is just a subject I'm really passionate about and mixed with Miraculous it's just sdfghjjhgfd#miraculeakless#him playing drums is something that's probably never going to come up again ever#but in my mind Adrien healing means him taking up playing the drums and I've never dropped this#no really I wrote a fic when I was 14 about Adrien somehow disguising himself and being friends with people and he also took up the drums#I should find it and rewrite it lol#but here I am at 20 and my mind is still on this#and now I work with music as a job so I actually have the proper words to write it all down#miraculous ladybug#horrificator#can't believe I'm digging up a S1 episode but I needed to get these thoughts out#chat noir#adrien agreste#character study#uhhh sorry if this is unreadable#but I did not re-read this bc I spent too much time writing it and I don't feel like going through this again
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He deserves a bit of everything, as a treat (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Up front - that first one was very inspired by one of Kurole's sketches of him - absolutely spectacular use of shapes ahhh <3 <3#His iris dripping directly into his tears?? Excuse me I die immediately#I did a full study later since as noted that one was from memory lol - not quite! Kurole's shapes are so pretty ♪#Peeps' shapes are some of the funnest to move around! He's so stretchy and squishy lol#He's so fun to pose#At first I was just going to doodle Peeps in the outfit the Watchdogs drew him in for The Cartoon because cute!#But I figured it'd be easier if started with the actual shapes they used - dissect how they lay on each other and all that#Turns out the bean form is also very cute hehe <3 They can try to make him as stereotypically dorky as they want! He's still the cutest!#He is quite handsome in the same outfit at his usual proportions tho#Not me always enjoying characters in glasses/putting characters in glasses#Of all the features I myself have that'd be the last one I would expect to be So about lol#Plus the little heels on his boots?? I can't believe the Watchdogs were Completely making a mockery of him hehe ♪#Maybe mocking him a little bit for being short but he loves heels! He loves feeling tall!#And they match his shirt? Fashionable all the way around ✨#Last one of him on Ziziks and trying(? maybe?? Lol maybe not) to relax#Open tourist-y shirt over loose swim trunks >>>#Gotta dork it up with the visor gloves and boots tho lol hopefully he put on sunscreen too#What would burnt Watchdog skin look like anyhow :0 Redder?#You just know he's still on call even if he managed to get some time off - and if he was forced off he's on call by choice lol#Little workaholic
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Book 4 of my special edition owlcrate Raven Cycle:
The Raven King
#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO UPLOAD THIS AGAIN#WHERE THE FUCK DID THE ORIGINAL GO??!#I STILL HAVE NO CLUE#i checked my drafts again#i checked my blog again#i checked my queue#NOTHING#fuck's sake#the raven cycle#the raven king#alright i'm sane again#realizing that i didn't take pics of the back of the bookmarks but i'm not going back to change that#a professionally published book with art of ronan and adam making out can actually be so personal lol#like look at blue and gansey#they're so anguished cuz they can't kiss#and i love it#but then adam and ronan get to just go for it#gay rights lol#i s2g if i have to repost this again i'm going to tumblr hq with a hatchet
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okay what i meant when i said that even the copious amounts of blood didn't satiate me in particular is that the dead wife/nemesis thing was never something i was eager to see explored, just because i think it's something a lot of male characters get? to go through? the ooh i'm so tortured someone took something from me and now i can't help but turn into a monster while i'm on this quest for revenge and being smothered by grief ough i might kill them even or others in gruesome ways and then realize i'm still just as empty
because, i think men often feel the role they must take on as a man or as a father (especially the latter) is a burden, a huge one, where they aren't allowed to sit back or let go or forgive to their own and everyone else's detriment.. and i understand why there is demand for the same type of stories or story elements or arcs, and why they work, and this same overall theme can be present in a story where it's dealt with in an interesting way or where there's love and care involved in the writing process and the characters don't feel like "man pain machine #48" and "generic sensitive character who will cradle mr. man pain's bloody face in their hands (when we want to end this arc and show how good and lovable he actually is)"....
idk i'm just saying it's not even a specific problem i have with male characters that avenge their families or seem like they're defined by anger or by a traumatic event, i do think it can be written lazily and that we've seen it so many times it's a bit worn-out now, but i wouldn't be quick to generalize. it's just that, since we've seen this before (and that's partly why they poked a bit of fun at themselves when in rickmurai jack, rick's dead wife backstory was revealed).. to me it's one of the least interesting aspects of rick? and yet it's clearly important to the writers and they felt they had to tackle this part of his character, really emphasize his unfinished business, or treat it like something that must have a conclusion
for me though, rick's brand of fucked up and evil wasn't compelling because something deeply fucked up happened to him and there's a lot to deal with there and that's cool, it was more compelling to me (iirc) Before knowing much about his past. tbh. i recognized him already, he felt real, his worst side was familiar because a man doesn't need a whole event to become controlling and cruel when dealing with his family... social norms and umm systems sort of already operate within the framework of the patriarchy, i think it's built into our collective ideas of society, concepts of gender and family and the rules those come with.. i liked that about rick, that why he was an asshole wasn't detailed, there was no easy explanation for the way that he was, he just was. and every time they chose to drive home that rick's defined by losing his original family to his own alternate self and that he was still chasing this one guy, it was like, well i thought there were so many other components as well to why he turned out to be who he is. i liked it more when it was mundane, because that's what i see around me, that abuse is rather mundane. and i'm much more interested in the harm he's directly inflicted on his current family and how his past might affect his current life, what might haunt him. so i guess i never wanted prime to be taken care of, each week i find myself thinking that i just want it to be rick and morty and their messed up little relationship up close and personal again
#like‚ prime was cool‚ i liked what he said when he was getting beaten to a pulp i REALLY liked it. c-137 took his life‚ took his#family technically‚ that's interesting. he regenerates‚ we didn't see a body‚ he could totally be coming back‚ that's interesting#i'm just not all that interested in rick's revenge bc for example look at this episode. what did morty do‚ what did this mean for morty?#maybe i'm too mortybrained hxsgvy but i care about him so much it makes me sick i can't just switch it off.. lol...#felt like this could've been framed differently. i would've framed it differently‚ maybe de-center rick's abstract ideas of what's been#taken from him and who's at fault‚ center his ideas of what he has now and how far he's willing to go for his loved ones#i don't know i also wanted to see how r&m worked while hunting prime since rick promised to bring the kid into his darkness#so i was like omg REGRESSION? regression sweep? real animosity when? but we didn't see any of it. but we still might!! if prime's not#really out of the picture. so i won't write that off. i am inclined to forget about it tho and believe there will be no shared darkness#well i will see i'll see the whole season and then reevaluate#kata.txt#rnm
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(cw: masc freelancer)
This was drawn like...almost a year ago already, this was after mermay ended lol
Basically, Gavin's a merman and was captured and held in a big ass tank. FL encounters him after looking around in the aquarium and they went head over heels for him/lh
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted fanart#redacted art#redacted au#redacted gavin#redacted freelancer#I'm not sure if i already posted this#if i did#don't mind it lol#i can't draw atm#exams are coming 💀#this was drawn i believe around august 2022?#yeah i think so#i MIGHT redraw this actually#because it still looks decent
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the hour before I decided to download arknights I actually tried downloading path to nowhere because of the lesbian shenanigans it seems to have but my sad little phone storage was too full for it
#random#me#i did have some difficulty downloaded ak lol#i retried it like 6 times before it finally downloaded#i had to delete some stuff and choose the eng voice pack because it was the smallest out of all of the others#thank GOD the eng voice pack was small#if it was too big i would have stopped trying and i would not have played the game to get degenbrecher....#i still can't believe i fucking got her#i hit enough stuff for a ten pull and i went 'hey why not pull in the banner' and lo and fucking behold.
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Hey y'all I generally don't give advice about work but I do have some advice for you today! If you, as a contractor, mess up doing something so spectacularly that you spent three days doing it wrong and it will take an additional three days undoing it before it can be done correctly, and you are calling the company you're contracted with to tell them: do NOT say during the same call where you are explaining your spectacular mistake that you are my "best [contractor]" and insist repeatedly that you are and keep pushing to try to get me to agree. Just don't.
#tj talks about work#so works going great guys#he kept insisting he was my best contractor!#I mean he did not use the word contractor#he used the job-specific term#but for reasons of not sharing company info and also not sharing personal details#contractor it is lol#like...dude! you are not my best contractor by any metric!#you are the guy who keeps asking if I am proud of him and then in an ominous way saying things like#'you've gotta treat me better you BETTER start treating me better I'm your best contractor! you don't have any better than me!'#so he's unpleasant to deal with and has made two incredibly 'can't believe someone did this' mistakes in two weeks#and one 'this is still pretty bad but more understandable that it would happen' mistake
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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Y'ALL
I was invited to come see my old school's annual musical and I had absolutely 0 idea what it was or anything about it but of course I went right? and
it
was
Newsies
I'm losing my mind rn omggggg what are the odds??
#the way I screamed#I'm actually vibrating rn I love Newsies sm#man why couldn't they have done Newsies back when I was still going there 😭#ah well#ALSO#instead of the jack and katherine kiss at the end#jack and crutchie had a moment!!!!#they had their reunion and they huggged!!!!!!!!#my skin is clear my crops have been watered#I can't believe they did that????#there was like minimal jatherine actually it was so funny lol#and crutchie and jack split their lines... 60 40#good to see my boy getting the screentime he deserves 😤#omg#I can't believe this#it all feels so surreal lol#I need to rewatch Newsies now....#emmie speaks
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