#steve is literally the only one to make the choice to start growing up on his own

[dreamofbecoming]

i feel like we as a fandom don’t talk enough about the fact that steve’s redemption arc had nothing to do with the upside down

like, yes, he grows pretty steadily as a person over the course of the entire show, and yes, his relationships with dustin and robin specifically are a big part of that growth and both those relationships are rooted in UD shenanigans, but that isn’t where it started. and it wasn’t nancy either

he has that whole speech in s4 about how he needs to get conked on the head to start moving in the right direction, and maybe that’s true to an extent, but the wallop he got wasn’t “monsters are real” and it wasn’t “ough pretty girl,” it was him, completely on his own, wanting to change

because the death of king steve is 100% a choice steve makes, voluntarily, before he knows about the UD, totally separate from his desire to be with nancy. he realizes fully independently that he isn’t proud of being a bully and he wants to do better. that’s entirely steve deciding that for himself

he goes to jonathan first. he doesn’t apologize to nancy first, he’s not trying to get back on her good side, he’s not trying to get ahead of any story and convince her to take him back. he still even actively thinks jonathan is sleeping with her, at this point

he has every logical reason to believe that jonathan 1) violated him sexually (and publicly!) and 2) fucked his girlfriend. he has every reason to think his girlfriend cheated on him! his anger with jonathan (and nancy!) is, from steve’s pov, given the information he has, completely justified, and steve still, with no reason at all to like jonathan or forgive nancy, with no reason to go against tommy and carol (given that they’re his lifelong best friends and have seemingly just been proven right about hating his gf), decides completely independently that the things he said to jonathan were out of line

he has literally no reason to be kind to this dude, and he’s working against a pretty engrained habit of teenage cruelty, and he still makes that call all by himself. for no other reason than that his conscience demands it. that’s an astonishingly humble and selfless act from any 17 year old, but especially one who was raised on money and popularity and has no real reason to go against that upbringing (and has never done so before!). the moral fortitude that takes is incredible

i couldn’t have made that apology at 17, i was way too caught up in myself and far too scared of feeling any kind of shame or social consequences. i would have focused on the things that fueled my anger, that made me feel justified. i wouldn’t have been capable of seriously reflecting on the ways i might be in the wrong. but steve does. he makes that call completely unprompted. he chooses to not only acknowledge that what he said to jonathan was fucked up, as was what he and tommy did to nancy (even when, again, his anger, if not his actions, was fully justified), but to apologize to jonathan first (risking him convincing nancy that steve isn’t worth forgiving, and he still thinks this is the guy fucking his girlfriend, and this is the guy who never apologized for the creepshots!) and to abandon his social safety net to do it (horrifically difficult to do at that age)

and then the poor guy gets attacked by a monster and the first thing he does is save the asshole who took naked pics of him and basically risked showing the whole school, and the girlfriend he has every reason to believe is fucking him.

steve harrington is a fucking saint and we don’t talk about it enough.

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part thirteen

697 words

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve

Steve and Eddie have a divider set up between them, like every other pair in the room. 

The rules say under no circumstances are they allowed to see their partners portraits until the exhibit. Steve doesn’t get why or why the rule goes for the portraits they're doing of themselves, but he's not the one in charge so he doesn't question it. 

The same cannot be said of Eddie.

“Come on. “ He groans. “Just a peek, no one will know.”

Steve rolls his eyes and flexes his fingers where there's sprawled over his paper so a certain someone doesn't see. “We're literally in the middle of the room, Munson - everyone will know.”

Eddie's slumps, leaning away from where he was invading Steve's space and Steve thinks that’s for the better. He doesn’t know how long he could’ve kept up the unbothered act; like he couldn’t smell Eddie’s cheap shampoo and cologne, like his heart wasn’t pounding and he wasn’t resisting leaning closer. 

Steve can't help but smile at the look on Eddie’s face. Like Steve has personally offended him by following the rules. 

“Lame,” Eddie mutters under his breath. He ducks behind the divider to presumably continue working on his self-portrait.

If it's anything along the lines of his other work, then Steve doesn't actually want to see. The teen has consistently made some of the most disturbing stuff Steve’s ever seen. It can't be helping the Satanist allegations but to each his own. 

Steve is, unfortunately, morbidly curious as to how Eddie would draw humans, though, specifically him. He only has to wait a few weeks to see that, though, so he can be patient, unlike Eddie. 

Steve can’t even lie to himself and act like he doesn’t find it endearing. 

Carol hadn't been all that happy with her partner. The sophomore she was paired with somehow managed to be judgmental and awkward at the same time. 

Steve's never spoken to her himself, but everyone in class is familiar with her mile-a-minute way of speaking. Carol's only referred to her as motor mouth for as long as Steve can recall. 

She wasn't amused that she had to move seats to be closer to the girl, either. The teacher is having them complete the outline and worksheet today, seeing as Carol didn't get the chance yesterday. 

Steve looks behind him to check in only to see Carol staring at the girl dead pan while she presumably explains the project. 

Steve never got a good look at her seeing as she sat behind him, but he notices now that she’s pretty. She isn’t wearing traditionally feminine clothes- Well, she is, but it's mixed in with some interesting choices. Like the tie. Definitely interesting. She has freckles that rival Tommy's - except not really because Steve doesn't think that anybody's could.

Steve makes eye contact with Carol and the girl widens her eyes at him like are you seeing this and Steve only shakes his head in amusement and returns to his assignment. 

He’s never had to draw himself before. At the beginning of the hour, he wasn’t sure where to start, but decided there was no better place than his pride and joy; his hair. It’s not looking too bad if he does say so himself. His plan is to leave the eyes for last because that’s always where he somehow goes wrong. 

Steve pauses in his assessment of his project when he senses eyes on him. He looks to his left and, sure enough, Eddie is leaning onto the back two legs of his seat in an attempt to see pass the divider. 

Steve huffs and grabs the back of the chair and rocks it slightly. Eddie yelps and grabs onto his arm for stability. Steve’s breath hitches. 

“What’re you up to there?”

Eddie peers at him before a smirk grows on his face. “Oh, you know, just testing your reflexes.” 

Steve hums and pulls so the front legs are brought back to the floor. “Right, right, and what’s the verdict?”

The boy grins and pats Steve’s arm before pulling his hand away. “They’re just fine, sweetheart.”

Steve doesn’t get much work done the rest of the period.

fourteen

tag list (closed)

@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso

@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie

@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve

@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx

@tinyplanet95 @dannys-guilt-ridden-cockroach @theohohmoment @corvus-perplexus @hippieg1rl420

@blurryjoji @bookbinderbitch @arthurianace @dragonmama76 @thesuninyaface

@tillystealeaves @p0lybl4nkk @sageclipse @mugloversonly @chameleonhair

@thedragonsaunt @yesdangerpls @sanctumdemunson @slv-333 @loguine-linguine

@resident-gay-bitch @anaibis @moomkin77 @thrashbatx @salchica

@flustratedcas @ajeff855 @nerdyglassescheeseychick @pearynice @imaginary-maggie-waggie

sorry if i missed anyone!!

[bemywingman]

heyyyy so in response to your post about an olympics icemav au... i'm having crazy brainworms about an idea & i need to tell someone before i explode. Steve Nedoroscik on the u.s. men's gymnastics team gives me the same vibes as Bob, so i'm imagining an olympics au wherein IceMav run the men's gymnastics program as coaches, and the daggers are on the teams. Ice & Mav back in the day dominated in gymnastics & so really just competed against each other each time. now they are bickering husbands helping run a killer program (& have their pommelhorse secret weapon Bob). Cyclone, Warlock, & Hondo coach with them, with Penny head doctor. Phoenix, Halo, & Amelia from the women's team pester the boys all the time. IceMav take Payback, Fanboy, Hangman, Rooster & Bob to the olympics & medal! so. yeah that's the idea. this isn't really a request, i just needed to tell someone & your asks are open 😭 but you can use any of this if you want

ok your mind is INSANE bc this picture is so vivid from just your one paragraph. like it all matches up so perfectly i’m so glad you put this idea into the world 🤭🙂‍↕️

i don’t want to take over your idea, but here are a few hc’s that i picture for this scenario bc as soon as i read this my brain went oh wow:

icemav’s background:

- ice is the eldest son of immigrants from the ussr, and his father pushes him everyday to be the best gymnast he can be. he trains daily, only enters the best training gyms, and works under some of the best coaches money can afford.

- ice is 17 when the 1976 olympics roll around, and everyone expects he’s going to dominate on the international stage. what they don’t expect, however, is for tom to announce at family dinner that he’s chosen to represent the united states at the games rather than his parent’s beloved ussr.

- after the shockwave announcement, ice’s dad doesn’t speak to him for weeks, and he spends countless nights second guessing his decision. sure, he understands why his parents are upset, but they literally immigrated to this country so he could be american. this is his home, it’s the place that’s made him, and he wouldn’t want to compete for any other country.

- it’s not until after the games, when he has 3 gold medals around his neck and a hand to hold tightly in his own, that he knows for certain he made the right choice.

- mav, in contrast, has a complete underdog story. it’s almost storybook: growing up without a father, scrapping his way in shitty gyms and abusive coaches, and coming out the other side as the best damn gymnast anyone west of the mississippi had ever seen. when he makes the 76 olympic team, he’s cocky and brash and is absolutely not ready for the unmovable force that is tom kazansky to enter his life.

- at first ice and mav don’t get along - ice is too focused on the competition and mav is too focused on trying to outperform ice. the tension grows for a few weeks after they both qualify for the team. it all changes when goose falls from the high bar in practice and breaks his wrist. with their best teammate out, the boys have to come together to do their best and keep up team morale.

- of course they both do amazing and walk away champions!!!! i’m imagining team gold, all-around ice gold and mav silver, ice high bar gold, and mav pommel horse gold. they start a new era for men’s gymnastics, absolutely dominating the competition and looking cool as fuck doing it. little boys sign up for gymnastics classes because they wanna be like maverick, and ice’s wheaties box takes up space on kitchen tables all around america.

the team now:

- ice doesn’t have any noticeable accent in his day-to-day life, but sometimes he starts to speak in russian when he’s nervous or pissed off. hence the murmured repetitions of xуй and Пиздец when hangman gets a little too sassy or bob clips his hand and falls off the horse.

- the daggers complain a lot about mav’s strict training routines and insanely high expectations, and one day mav can’t take anymore. without a word, he takes his whistle off, slips out of his shoes, and proceeds to perform an almost perfect pommel horse routine. the boys stand in awe as he swings around, his body in complete control despite it being 30+ years since he’s competed professionally. when it’s over the daggers start apologizing profusely, and ice just laughs and rolls his eyes at the absolute mad man he’s been in love with since he was 17.

- obviously there has to be some angst regarding bradley’s entry into the sport and the legacy he feels he carries on his shoulders. like yeah, he’s not a nepo baby, but he’s also not not a nepo baby. i mean, the two head coaches of the men’s olympic team are his godparents, for god sake. maybe mav tries to keep him out, thinking of goose’s lost dreams and all of their long term injuries. maybe he pushes him to do something else with his life, constantly saying things like maybe you could be a pilot or something, baby goose. of course, it doesn’t work. in the end, mav cries as bradley steps up on the olympic podium with the medal around his neck, thinking, not for the first time, how lucky he was to have met nick bradshaw all those years ago.

- penny being a social butterfly outside the gym but taking absolutely no shit as soon as she steps onto the floor. she has no problem asking the hard questions, and will not hesitate to defend an athlete with her life. she helps lead the movement to include mental health as part of the wellness checks for athletes, and doesn’t respond kindly to anyone who blows off her recommendations. everyone is slightly scared of her, but she’s only stern because she loves the athletes to death.

- amelia is known for always checking in on everyone and makes sure both the men’s and women’s teams are feeling their best physically and mentally bc of her mom’s occupation. she’s always willing to listen or offer up advice for those who need it. she’s definitely the little sister of the group and they’re all unbelievably protective of her and her huge heart.

- jake gives bob a lot of shit when they first meet because he doesn’t look anything like a gymnast. he’s got these huge glasses and he’s super lean and jake can’t help but tease him for it. it all changes when he finally sees bob on the horse, though, moving with more grace than he’s seen anyone move before. by the time the olympics roll around, jake is his biggest supporter, cheering so loudly from the side that even the people in the rafters can hear him.

i don’t really know anything about gymnastics, so don’t hate me if things are incorrect/inaccurate. thanks again for sharing this idea. hope y’all enjoyed and thanks for reading!!!

[livfastdieyoung69]

Guys im in my mjf era!

Mjf x reader

Mjf being his usual douchebag self but reader being his soft spot yk? And someone using reader against him to get under his skin any of his old feuds would work for this so i dont mind 👀 just LOVE a protective feral man with very little regard for himself when it comes to the people he loves 🤭

HIGH FLYING BIRD

Sting had been your idol for as long as you could remember. For decades, all you ever wanted was to be like Sting. Now here you are- on the same damn roster as him. You worked with him, by his side, every damn week. Your few years in AEW had already given you so much more experience and advice than you could’ve hoped for, especially from Steve. The only downfall of working side by side with Sting was having to work with Darby who hated, much like many others, your partner.

Speaking of Darby, he bursted into catering with a scowl on his half-painted face. Sighing into your styrofoam cup of a crisp Dr.Pepper as he plopped down into the seat between you and the beloved man himself, Sting, you turned to face him.

”Yes, Darbs?” Of course, even with his bitching over your choice of a lover, he was still a friend. Sometimes. Darby scoffed and shook his head, crossing his arms and practically pouting in his seat.

”How in the hell are you with Maxwell? What do you see in him? Or is it, like, what you don’t see? Are you legally blind, Birdy?” It was your turn to scoff- at his remarks and the nickname. It’d caught on after you showed up to AEW and started doing crazy high-flying shit no one even knew was possible on day one.

“We’re not having this conversation again, Darby.”

“Yes we are. Is this a Stockholm syndrome thing? Blink twice if you need help.” Before you’re able to do anything besides point a finger in his face, you’re interrupted.

“Alright guys, let's just calm down here, please.” Steve- Sting- tries to calm the situation. Darby gives you a smug look from getting away with his remarks while you glare at him wholeheartedly.

”Talkin’ about me again, huh?” MJF leans over you, his usual asshole smirk on as his hands slide up your shoulders and lightly grasp at your sore neck, barely massaging it. Sore from saving Darby in your last tag team match with a dive through a table, actually. (And no. He didn’t say thank you. Steve did though.)

”Hey, baby.” You look up at him, glowering face replaced with a gentle smile that makes Darby cringe and grumble under his breath.

“Got somethin’ to say, dead boy?” Max asks from behind you, hands still working your neck as the atmosphere tenses even further. Steve tries to calm everyone again, but it doesn’t seem to be working as Darby stands from his chair, coming basically toe to toe with Max.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. You’re the worst damn decision they’ve ever made in the almost decade I’ve known them. I don’t even want to know how you’re manipulating them into this, but I’m sick and tired of it.” Darby’s voice keeps growing, filling the silence of the now quiet catering room, everyone watching their argument. Steve stands up, placing a hand on Darbs shoulder to try and pry him back. You might’ve gotten up to stop Max, but honestly, you just didn’t feel like dealing with this anymore. “All you’re going to do is leave them behind when you get whatever you want from them, and we’ll have to pick the pieces back up.”

Once again, Steve's attempt doesn’t work, and Max steps back into Darbys space, now quite literally toe to toe, chest to chest.

“I swear to God, the next time you suggest I would ever even imagine hurting them in anyway whatsoever, I will rip your fucking head off and let Wardlow play with it.” With a sigh, you get up from your chair and try to put a little distance from the two by pushing at Max’s chest but he won’t budge, he won’t even look at you. “Only reason I haven’t done it already is ‘cause of how much they like your little daddy over there. See how that works? If I hurt you, it’d hurt my Bird and I’d rather die than dream that into existence so I try my hardest not to think about hurting you. Let's keep it that way, capisce?”

Before Darby is able to reply, Max finally gives into your pushing and turns to leave catering, you in tow.

“Max,” You softly call for him, trying to keep up. “Max, baby,” You stumble to grab his hand and he finally comes to a stop. “Do you really have to keep threatening my friends? It’s really no wonder they don’t like you.” You teased him with a small smile, grabbing his hands in yours.

“Uh, Kris likes me, thank you very much, toots.”

”That doesn’t count, Kris just gets everything. Everyone else is dumb.” You lean back and forth on the ball of your heels, his hands keeping you stable before he gets sick of it and pulls you forward into his chest. “It’d be really nice if you could just be good for a little bit, please. Just a couple days is all I’m asking for here.”

He rolls his eyes, and gives a huge, fake groan up to the ceiling. He knew it’d make you laugh, he always knew what would. You pull your hands from his grasp and bring them up to his face, bringing him to look back at you.

“Be a good boy for me, hm?” You whispered, thumbs rubbing gently across his face. Judging from the blush covering his cheeks, it seems like you’d finally found a way to tame him.

Mwah ha ha ha this isn’t really what you asked for but kinda sorta they were rivals at one point so ???

The one funky word is the word that basically means do you understand (usually pronounced like capeesh) but I’m Italian and couldn’t bare to spell it wrong anyways he def says that and he also would def call you toots idc it’s canon in my heart

Also have no clue where the whole bird thing came from but it came and the title is the Jefferson Airplane song

Anyways kinda really like this one its cute

[sparklingcid3r]

i saw a clip of a slime tutorial where darry throws the bills at soda and johnny flinches. which like abhhhhhhhhh, but also, what do you think was johnnys pov watching darrys meltdown? and like wut do u think the gang thought abt darry seemingly changing overnight (which ig he did from brother to parent)?

YAPPPPP TIMEEEE‼️‼️‼️

alr so i think johnny lowkey saw it coming from a mile away. he’s the observant type, pretty much never speaking unless spoken to, so hes got a pretty good idea of what makes everyone tick. it wasn’t for a few months, but eventually johnny was able to pick up on the way darry was starting to slip. the only reason he could keep up the front of having his own emotions under control was because he was out of the house from sun up to sun down, never really giving anyone the literal time to see him wear.

johnny saw tho🤫

when it actually happened, i don’t think johnny was afraid or upset the way he is with his own parents. he knows darry better than that, the only reason he flinched was because of his home environment and the way he grew up, not because he was genuinely afraid. and also, i feel like flinching is a pretty reasonable reaction for anyone when faced with darry at his worst. like i’m not scared of anyone in my family, but i still get startled when i hear them yell🤷‍♀️ i don’t hold it against either darry or johnny for the way johnny reacted to darry physically throwing things around

as for the gang’s perspective on darry, they understood it. i’m not convinced it was an overnight flip of the switch, i think darry experienced a lot of growing pains as he adjusted to his new role. he made a ton of mistakes, but he kept going regardless because he knew how much was at stake, and that’s what kept him respected among the gang.

they’d all seen similar stuff happen, a father running out on the mother of his children when the going gets tough, a teenage mom forced to carry the child with no support, a father getting a child dumped in his lap while she skips town. look at two-bit and steve and dally, who’ve only ever mentioned one half of their whole picture.

running is easy. anyone can run when shit hits the fan. the fact is that they saw darry have chance after chance to give up, turn over his brothers, live the high life he’d worked so hard for, but he made the choice time and time again to stay. didn’t matter if he was barely keeping his head above water. he stayed, and none of them know if they could have done the same.

so yeah, they might get frustrated by him and his iron grip over his family, but they’ll always respect him for what he did. even dally (who’s a whole yap and a half), because where would pony be if darry really decided he couldn’t do it? count ur blessings dally, and maybe don’t antagonize the man who’s already killing himself for the sake of his brothers, or else he might actually agree with you. then what🧍‍♀️

what do i know tho i’m a little jackass who likes to hear herself talk lmao

[jadewing-realms]

disclaimer: written pre-release

i've had this sitting in my drafts for a bit since i started playing BG3, I kept seeing a particular kind of post regarding Astarion and it really started to frustrate me soooooo. here's a vaguely coherent rant nobody asked for pff

As I got into the game, following Astarion's romance subplot, doing research on the game and characters thus far, I encountered the schism between those who love Astarion and by extension, characters like him, and those that consider said characters as little more than toxic creatures, narcissists best dealt with swiftly and harshly. The latter tends, in the posts I've found at least, to view the former as poor unfortunate souls with the dreaded "i can fix him" mentality.

Now, I'm not here to say either is entirely wrong. I think to take a side here is to do the exploration a disservice and to forget the depth of nuance in art and media interpretation.

And that's just it. Because at the end of the day, interpretation is one of the key elements involved in this discourse. In the case of Astarion, especially with the game having been in early access for so long and no complete, guaranteed details of his past or arc made public yet, with so much up in the air as the full release drops, there are worlds of interpretations that can be made regarding our infamous vampire rogue.

Is one of those interpretations that he's both emotional and literal vampire who's every action is a trap for the protagonist in order to use them, and that he's irredeemable? Yes. Is another that he's simply trying to survive in a situation he's never been in after spending two centuries living like an animal? Also yes.

The error here, I think, is to treat one interpretation like it's more "right" than another. Which is what I've seen a lot of online threads do... Insisting one perspective is superior to the other. Which is bad faith even on a good day when either perspective is based in concrete, unchangeable fact. Even moreso in this case, until there's complete canon material to bank on, and even then that will have so much variety to it since most of it will depend on the actions of the player. It's a choice-based game. There is so much space for varied experiences, and none of them will be "right" or "wrong."

I feel like in modern media discussion, when considering whether a character is actively harmful or just flawed, it can be easy to forget that some of our most popular stories are ones in which someone is deemed beyond hope or redemption, a danger to all they encountered, only for their arc to raise them from their Pit of Dickishness and set them on pedestals as some of the most memorable, inspiring characters we know.

The timeless story of the Christmas Carol gives us an absolutely despicable old geezer who literally spells out the horror he'd inflict upon the poor if he could, simply for the sin of poverty. But in an effort to fixate only on how problematic he (very much intentionally) is, we might lose sight of how the whole point of the story is to watch him be forced to confront his ways, unpack all his crap, and become better for it in the end.

Characters like Prince Zuko, Edmund Pevensie, Greedling, Steve Harrington, Boromir, James Ford, friggin Darth Vader, we wouldn't have any of them if we only read them at surface level as toxic assholes and then left it at that. But through learning the nuances of these characters and watching them confront their actions and consequences and learn from them, they not only grow and change into better people, but we love them because they hold pieces of ourselves in them, despite their sharp edges. We can understand why they are the way they are, and maybe, if we're honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge that we might have done similarly awful things under their circumstances. It makes them relatable, admirable, and cautionary all at once. It makes them human.

None of that is to say that there are never characters built purely and solely to fear and loath, not at all. True scumbags can and do exist, both in fiction and reality. To try to enforce the idea of finding empathy for a true monster is often a tactic used in reality to gaslight people into excusing said monsters' behavior.

Which leads into the "i can fix him" argument. When applied to situations dealing with real dangerous and horrid people who can't or won't change? Absolutely Not Great (though that's not to say it can't be included in a story, there are valuable themes in that on its own). Condoning this dynamic as something good is what leads to abusive relationships and innocent people staying in unhealthy situations for far too long. I'm among those who can attest to that personally.

That said, when it comes to Astarion, no one can rightly say going through his romance arc or not is condoning anything. Because it once more comes down almost entirely to perspective and interpretation, because he's a video game character comprised of pixels and a well-written script and there are limitless ways he can be interpreted and interacted with.

Like, personally, yes, there are some dynamics I'd feel uncomfy pairing him with, even with the empathy I feel for his character. Platonic or romantic, doesn't matter. Does that mean I'm going to apply my interpretation and personal boundaries to the next person playing the Astarion romance? No. That would be assuming I've somehow discovered the "correct" way to interpret the game, which I have not and can never do because RPGs like Baldur's Gate 3 are such personalized experiences. People are 100% free to play a fictional game however the hell they so please, because stories are not inherently 1-to-1 reflections of reality.

Especially when it comes to the narcissism accusation, it sparks an extra layer of discomfort for me when it seems like characters who act selfishly or spin lies get called "narcissistic" when that's kinda severely over-generalizing what narcissism actually is??

Narcissism is inherently selfish, but not all selfishness is narcissism. Gaslighting is built on lies, but not all lies are gaslighting. This separation was literally bugging me so much, I talked with my therapist about it last week. And she agreed.

Some folks seem to forget is actual NPD isn't just about selfishness and manipulating. It's fragile ego and delusions of grandeur and the mind games, dysregulating highs and humiliating lows that they will weave in a web around you so that you, as a victim, can never get your mental and emotional footing. Usually for the purposes of then swooping in to offer themselves as your only source of stability. The whole "rely on me because your judgment is clearly faulty and you need to be protected from yourself" shtick.

You know. Kinda like Cazador.

The way I see Astarion, by contrast, is that he has an honesty to him that lacks such delusions. As much as he desperately tries to maintain this veneer of poise and sass and devil-may-care out of self-preservation, it's paper thin and crumples under the barest pressure. Like, the equivalent of a thematic sneeze and down he goes. Then you see him as he is. Which is just... frightened. Sad. Kinda pathetic, really. And absolutely, positively lost. All things he knows, but he legit believes he will be killed if he lets any of it show.

Comparing that to, say, Wyll, who's blissfully ignorant bluster reminds me painfully of self-aggrandizing family members that I love but can't interact with honestly because of the forest of self-delusion around them... well, it's not much of a contest.

If somebody interprets Astarion as a slimy, manipulating power-monger and gets rid of him the first chance they have, that's their story to tell and power to them for it. But the same must be said for the opposite. I don't appreciate the thought that there's a whole sect of the BG3 fandom that probably genuinely considers me "less than" or "unhealthy" or "problematic" in some way for being among those who like this character or others like him and their potential thematically and narratively. But if my interpretation is that he’s a frightened man who just wants to feel safe and free, that is also its own story and it's mine to tell if I wish. And both can be good or even powerful stories!

Is all of this based on my own personal nuances, biases, and priorities? Absolutely. And that's kinda the whole point... There's not a wrong answer with this, really. I experience these games and these characters through a lens that is mine and mine only, and I give meaning to the worlds I enter based on what makes the story feel most interesting and satisfying for me. And at the end of the day, what else is art for but to help us explore ourselves and learn a little bit more about what it means to be human. In all its glory and ugliness.

And that's a wholly personal journey nobody deserves to have micromanaged or belittled. I'm certainly not gonna go around looking down on anyone for having a different reading than mine. You do you, boo. But let me do me too.

[bsideminibang]

Masterlist

And that's a wrap! Many, many thanks to all the amazing authors, artists and betas who worked on this year's bang!

Below the cut are all the pieces that were submitted this year, so now's the time to check them out!

You're Fucking Perfect (To Me) by TwinOne with art from nickelkeep (8600 words, T)

Every Thursday Castiel visits Sam’s house, they share a glass or two of good whiskey and a bit of conversation like they’ve done for years. Everything changes the day he smells a new and intriguing scent as soon as he steps inside his friend’s house.

It’s the scent of an omega. Not just any omega, but his true mate.

A story told using the lyrics of the song Fucking Perfect by P!nk as prompts for each chapter.

You Can Keep Your Hat On by Redamber79 with art from PetraAmia (5444 words, E)

When a staff party with Cas' coworkers and boss gets too uncomfortable with unwanted advances on both of them, Dean and Cas ditch the party to go back to their place and celebrate on their own, starting with Dean performing a strip tease for Cas, and ending up in their bedroom.

Steve? Really...Steve? by Hectatess with art from Acaademicqueer (7625 words, M)

When Castiel wanders the empty streets out for revenge, he gets kidnapped. By the Law, no less. Had he been breaking the law so badly? And will he get that revenge?

When FBI-agents Sam and Dean are on an undercover job, they see the spitting image of one of the murdered victims in the case, walking, talking and… committing misdemeanours? Who is this guy, claiming to be Steve Milton? And can he really help them crack this case wide open?

Nice Like by MBQ with art from sidewinder (13700 words, E)

Dean and Benny search for Castiel in Purgatory, but the trio is rife with tensions when they finally "catch up" with the wayward angel.

Inspired by Lord Huron's, Meet Me in the Woods.

Play It Pretty For the World by cactusdragon517 with art from PetraAmaia (10805 words, E)

It's an old story, in the end: Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love. Happily ever after. But how they get there is a different story altogether (after all, what can you expect from rockstars?)

Family Business is in need of a new guitarist and lucky for them, session musician Castiel Novak is available. Guitar in hand and a bag over his shoulder, Castiel arrives in LA with Family Business on the brink of making it big.

Internally, however, is a bit more complex. Dean Winchester, lead singer and older brother, has found himself navigating his brother's growing addiction and their band's impending success.

After tours and traveling the world, they go their separate ways.

Can Dean and Castiel find their way back to each other?

Love From the Other Side by LadyKnightSkye with art from Dmitrievans (9245 words, T)

When Zachariah sends Dean forward into the world after the Apocalypse, instead of running into the National Guard, he runs into a person he thinks is his brother. In relief, he hugs “Sam.” This one choice of affection instead of aggression sets off a chain of events that ripples out from both sides of the Apocalypse.

Only Physical by nickelkeep with art from PetraAmia (4470 words, E)

Cas and Dean have been best friends for as long as Cas can remember. He's always wanted more, and when he and Dean slip into the friends-with-benefits category, he knew he could be satisfied with that. Until he wasn't.

Art for the bang by Rapscallion

I Had Some Time (With You) by songliili with art from Keikakudom (23970 words, E)

It’s 2005 when things go to hell.

Well. They go to hell for everyone except Dean, ‘cause he was ready for it.

Well. He was ready for the apocalypse, not for the gorgeous man who fell into his life, quite literally.

OR

A Destiel rewrite of Bill and Frank’s love story as shown on HBO’s The Last of Us episode 3: Long Long Time that uses elements of both universes.

Unraveling Unrolled by bleuzombie with art from golby-moon (3134 words, M)

A parent’s love should be unconditional. Coming out as trans has really put John’s love to the test.

[meant-to-be-a-hero]

Current List Of (St)Eddie Fics

Swing My Way - 45/45 - (Steve x Eddie)

Steve Harrington can't turn down a friend in need, so when Nancy Wheeler asks for help breaking into a secret BrenCorp lab, he has no choice but to say yes.

Eddie Munson is BrenCorp’s newest security guard, but as much as he wants to do a good job, he can’t say no to a pretty face. Especially when he’s thought Steve has a pretty face for years.

The Strange Energy Research Lab Eddie is guarding is full of mysteries, and when a hasty exit exposes he and Steve to two of them, their lives are irrevocably changed.

Steve starts literally climbing the walls, with the proportionate strength and speed of a spider and a sixth sense that keeps him safe from danger, while Eddie finds himself sharing his body with an interdimensional creature that can form around him like a second skin.

Adopting the identities of Spider-Man and Venom, the pair set out to unravel BrenCorp's secrets while its shady CEO arrays his dark forces against them to reclaim what he believes is his.

And amidst the chaos of their new superheroic lives, Steve and Eddie find themselves growing closer. Their secrets may at first keep them apart, but they may also be what ultimately draws them together.

A Pack Of Two - 32/32 - (Steve x Eddie)

Legends say that broken hearts will be mended if you spend the night of the full moon atop Heartbreak Hill. When Steve Harrington’s girlfriend dumps him, that sounds like the perfect way to fix his broken heart.

But the following day, Steve’s body starts to change. His senses kick into overdrive, and fangs and claws start appearing where fangs and claws absolutely should not be. The only person who can help him through his newfound transformation is the mysterious Eddie Munson.

As Eddie helps Steve re-take control of his body, Steve also starts to take control of his life. He's tired of living the way other people expect him to – and he's done doing things that don't make him happy. And, as he finds out, Eddie makes him very happy indeed.

With time ticking down to the next full moon, Steve must find a way to master his new abilities, navigate his way through a potential relationship with his werewolf mentor, and perhaps realise that the true enemies aren’t always the ones in front of us.

 Or, Steve Harrington and the month that changes his life forever.

His World Inverted - 22/22 (Steve x Eddie)

The Kingdom Of Hawkins has been at peace since the end of the Inverse War, in which Sir Steve of the Harringtons and his companions defeated the Dark Lord Vecna forever.

Now, Steve has returned to Hawkins and resumed his age-old quest – trying to find a girlfriend. But why is finding someone so much harder than fighting monsters ever was?

When a new quest arises, sending Steve, Nancy, and Robin out into the kingdom to try and rescue their missing friends, a familiar face reappears – Eddie Munson, who Steve and the others had thought lost during the War. But Eddie's different now – Inverted, possessing a strange, warped appearance and new abilities. And just as Steve and the others begin to adjust to their friend's return, tragedy strikes.

Now, with his senses, his body, his very mind warped and changed, Steve must contend with his new state of being even while the fate of the kingdom still rests on his shoulders.

Will Steve and his companions be able to save the kingdom, and their friends? And in the process, will Steve be able to complete his other quest, and find someone who sees him for who he truly is?

Love & Monsters - 31/31 (Steve x Eddie)

Vecna is gone, destroyed in a final confrontation between his forces of darkness and the protectors of Hawkins. But his final act of revenge has unleashed a multitude of monsters across the country, all pulled from the collective unconscious.

Now, it's up to Steve, Eddie, and their friends to head out and take all of these creatures down.

As they face off against myths and legends made real, monsters from movies and their deepest, darkest fears, Eddie and Steve will learn about themselves, about their relationship, and the true depths of their feelings for one another.

Can they clean up Vecna's final mess and make it home in one piece? And what will their relationship look like when they return?

Little Bites Of Happiness - 15/15 (Steve x Eddie)

Vecna has been defeated, and Hawkins is safe once again. The battle is over, and the danger has passed at last. There’s just one problem: Eddie Munson is still dead, and for Steve Harrington, that’s unacceptable.

Steve’s not sure why he cares so much. What he does know is that he has to bring Eddie back, no matter the cost.

And hey, if psychic powers and other dimensions exist, then surely magic isn’t far behind?

But what he and Robin bring back isn’t Eddie. At least, not entirely. It’s something darker, something deadlier, and something hungry.

With Robin at his side, Steve sets out to rescue Eddie and purge the darkness that has tainted his resurrection. But to do that, Steve might have to face his own secrets, and finally come to terms with feelings he has long been denying.

[Set after the events of Stranger Things Season 4, with vague allusions to some version of Season 5]

The Music's No Good Without You - 14/14 (Eddie x Reader)

Leaving Hawkins to chase your dreams in New York feels like the best decision you’ve ever made. At least until you get there, and realise that chasing your dreams is actually a lot harder than you thought it’d be. Feeling creatively suffocated, you decide to join a band so that you’ve got somewhere to sing when the rest of the city seems to want you to do anything but.

The band in question however turns out to be made up of very familiar faces – Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley and...Eddie Munson, the man you’ve had a crush on since high school. There’s only one problem: Eddie doesn’t date – he’s too focused on achieving his dream of superstardom for that. But maybe you can show him that achieving his dream doesn’t have to mean closing off his heart in the process.

It’s not going to be easy, especially when an old flame returns to make your life, and the lives of your bandmates, miserable. Together though, you can overcome anything. You’ll win Eddie’s heart, and achieve both of your dreams, no matter what it takes.

[Rock Band AU - doesn't reference the events of the show]

Come Back To Me - 12/12 (Eddie x Reader)

You’ve had about enough of Hawkins. Between the disappearances, the murders, and now an earthquake, it’s about time for you to relocate to some place a little safer. But those plans fall apart, literally, when you find yourself plummeting through a fissure in the ground and into a hellish dimension beyond.

Trapped in a terrifying reflection of Hawkins and stalked by dangerous creatures, things take a turn for the worse when Eddie Munson makes the scene. As you spend time with Eddie though, you come to realise that perhaps you shouldn’t believe everything you’ve heard on the news about him. Logic and reason have always been your go-to, but when it comes to Eddie, maybe this time you’ll have to think with your heart instead of your head. If you don’t lose them both first.

As the shadow of Vecna threatens to drown Eddie in darkness, the pair of you fight to uncover the secret behind his resurrection so that you can both forge a path out of the Upside Down and back to the surface. And maybe, you might just forge something else along the way. A bond strong enough that even Vecna’s evil can’t break it. A bond of friendship, and maybe even...love.

[Set after the events of Stranger Things Season 4]

Go Your Own Way - 10/10 (Eddie x Reader)

After a year of tragedy you didn't think you'd ever smile again until you joined the Hawkins High Hellfire Club. The fact that Eddie Munson, your Dungeon Master, is perhaps the hottest person you've ever met doesn't hurt matters, either. When you're around him, things feel bright again, and you begin to feel as though your life might finally be getting back on track.

But when Eddie finds himself at the centre of a police investigation, you're drawn into a mysterious conspiracy involving otherworldly monsters, dark alternate dimensions, and a terrifying curse. It'll take everything you have, as well as the assistance of the most unlikely of allies, to clear Eddie's name and save the entire world (and yourself!) from the demon known as Vecna.

And then there's the matter of your heart. With the world going insane around you, the only thing that doesn't seem in question are your feelings for Eddie. Is it even possible that he might feel the same way about you, or is your love life destined to be a critical fail?

[Set during the events of Stranger Things Season 4]

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

I posted 1,826 times in 2022

233 posts created (13%)

1,593 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@beboots

@staranon95

@spockvarietyhour

@asexualdindjarin

@dad-galaxy

I tagged 1,748 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#the mandalorian - 370 posts

#star wars - 356 posts

#dincobb - 277 posts

#the book of boba fett - 267 posts

#din djarin - 207 posts

#steddie - 196 posts

#cobb vanth - 177 posts

#boba fett - 174 posts

#bobf spoilers - 94 posts

#tbobf spoilers - 91 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#when both yodito and jolene (i’m calling the rancor jolene since they didn’t have the common decency to follow up on the ‘what are we going

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

May I just say

what the hell sort of ecological niche is that, being a lizard that scurries up people’s noses and leads them on a mystic quest to find one of the few remaining trees on Tatooine and retrieve a branch to make into a personalised weapon as part of their coming of age or cultural initiation?

how do you evolve into that?

340 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#4

Two new jobs for Din Djarin:

1) interpreting and translating alien languages in meetings and correspondence

2) listening to Boba Fett talk about his dreams

361 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

feel fairly strongly that Eddie is the sort to wrap at least one and preferably both legs around Steve at every opportunity

in contexts like: Steve hugs him, Eddie promptly climbs him like a tree and locks both legs round his waist

Steve sits next to him on the couch and Eddie immediately throws one leg over his thigh and/or hooks it round behind his calf

Steve gets tripped at least three times a day by Eddie sidling up and trying to do some awkward linking ankles thing he is worse than a cat

"Goddamnit, Eddie!"

"Two limbs just aren't enough to hold you with, dude. And till I can grow a prehensile tail, we've gotta make do."

1,043 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#2

happy for the people enjoying punk Steve lately and genuinely not criticising them, only expressing a different thought in parallel (I hate how saying "genuinely not criticising" can make it sound even more passive-aggressive but I'm genuinely genuinely not criticising! I'm not suggesting other people are liking my favourite character wrong that would be so douchey)

I just always like the idea that Steve isn't, like, repressing a secret desire to be unconventional and join some kind of counterculture and one day start showing his true, wilder self in his fashion and grooming choices

that the way he looks is literally just what he's like

you could give him total freedom of choice and tell him to go hog wild and he'd still be chumping around in polos and light-wash jeans

they're comfortable and he likes how he looks

he likes sports and cars and his favourite Star Wars movie remains the one with the teddy bears

any "unconventional" stuff he does is very subtle and minor like he was indeed wearing a touch of strawberry lip gloss in the summer of 1985 because he needed a little cheer-me-up and he felt like the blue uniform washed him out, he's a warm autumn for god's sake he shouldn't be wearing blue

he would get, like, one ear pierced and wear a small plain gold stud and he'd feel very special about it

Eddie: gradually filling up his whole skin with increasingly elaborate tattoos

Steve: got a little heart with "E+S" in it on his inside forearm where it's not conspicuous but he can take a look at it and smile to himself any time he wants

he's not holding back this is just what he needs (and he thinks Eddie's tattoos and hair and jewellery and et cetera et cetera are badass and beautiful)

1,454 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I like to think of Steve relying on Eddie as his nerd interpreter when the conversation starts to get over his head. Instead of having to ask the kids what a lycanthrope is, he just kind of sidles over and gives a "???" look to Eddie who leans in and whispers a quick explanation without making him look dumb to everyone. This works great when the subjects under discussion are related to Eddie's hobbies and interests but sometimes they turn more academic, because these kids are science nerds as well as science fiction nerds, and when he "???"s at Eddie, Eddie whispers, "Super flattered you think I might know, but remember my grades are worse than yours." Then he takes the bullet for Steve by asking the dumb question out loud so he can hear the answer too.

On one occasion Lucas makes a sports analogy, Eddie looks baffled and doesn't even have time to look for Steve before he's whispering to him all excited because he can finally help him back.

7,421 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[queerextremity]

(since a couple of people already asked me to write the essay, i repost the one i first posted separately in here)

i might be self-projecting a bit, but it feels kind of personal to have a story about someone with youth taken away by the war, since it's something i'm living in for 10 months already. it just captures… a lot. steve's time travel isn't only about time travel to me, but rather about a deep sense of not belonging. deep sense of the world moving too rapidly and the feeling that you'll never be able to keep up, because you've never felt truly happy since the life went to hell. the thing about steve is that his life was never truly stable, but it kept pushing him further and further and ultimately bringing him somewhere where everybody he knew have already moved on and lived a life. and he's just stuck. and i feel it on a very personal level in a relation to trauma if you take the journey metaphorically. that's literally what it's like to grow up in an unstable world where nobody can promise you anything. steve's arc captures what it's like having your story to be bigger than you and how it's a constant fight against the circumstances that just starts to feel like an endless cycle.

i get not being able to move on; i get thinking of yourself as disposable and just giving and giving and giving; i get living only for your own beliefs that don't always form certain goals; i get ultimately believing in people even if they disappoint me; believing in world even if it disappoints me; i get the lack of "shared life experience" with people around me and how it fucked up a lot of my relationships lately, but also made others ten times stronger. i just get a lot of it.

and it still hurts that we never saw steve settling down in the present. it was a story about overcoming trauma, learning to live and to cope with the pain and wrong choices. about the power of strong beliefs and adaptability. about how much it's worth just to be a good human being when you have nothing but yourself. it was never a story about the past and the need to come back. it was the story about how you get up after ten thousand lowest points, because how can you not? it was a story about the power of character and how it can give you meaning even when there's nothing else you can hold on to anymore.

endgame doesn't only contradict steve's character choices throughout his journey and sends him to p-ggy who hired zola. it also leaves no meaning to his story and makes it seem really shallow and hurts people who found it personal. and i'm just mad and mad and mad, no matter how much time passes.

thinking about how important steve's storyline was for people who feel out of place/like they don't belong/like the world's moving too fast for them to follow (which are my own common reactions to trauma/depression) and how endgame just straight-up tells that the greatest way to escape is to go back to times that still feel familiar, which is something a regular person will never be able to afford and which just takes the hope away. they could've done so much with it and showed a great resolution to a long journey of building new life and new meanings, but they completely missed the point of the story. it was so awful to people who saw themselves in this character and that's something we rarely mention when we criticize steve's ending. in this essay, i will

[missmonsters2]

The Truth by Liquor

PAIRING: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: In which, you're only nice when you're drunk apparently.

WARNINGS: Avengers being cute. Jealous!Wanda. Reader seems like an asshole. Sorry to everyone the moment Reader drinks though. Personal space? We don't know her.

NOTE: This is was inspired when I was tipsy the other night <3

Main Masterlist | Library Blog

COUNT: ~4.4k

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

Wanda quietly sighed at your curt reply, watching you turn around and walk off. She shouldn't be so surprised. After all, you've never accepted an invitation of hers to go out. Even something as simple as grocery shopping, you turned down.

The lack of interest on your end would make Wanda think you hated her if not for the fact you treated the entire team with this icy, distant behavior. 

A part of Wanda understands. Your recruitment into the Avengers was involuntary. You had been a peaceful civilian, living your quiet life when some psychopath disrupted your life, bringing your secret out and the Avengers in.

Everything in your life had changed in one moment, and Wanda understood better than anyone what it was like to lose everything. It didn't mean you didn't gain anything out of it.

The team was constantly trying to make you feel welcomed and grow closer to you, perhaps out of guilt, but it was still something. But it was clear from the constant rejection that you preferred your solitude. There were no movie nights with you, no eating together, no outings.

The most they got out of you was doing training and missions together. You had their back, that was sure, but you had no desire to open up to them. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"It's Steve's birthday next week." 

"Okay."

You had said the word so flatly that even Wanda had to wince in the distance. She was trying not to eavesdrop on Natasha asking you to partake in the celebration of Steve's birth, but it was rather hard when she was so curious.

"So, we'd like it if you joined us."

"Thank you but I'll be busy. Tell Steve I wish him a good one."

Wanda wasn't surprised; she had stopped hoping for your acceptance to any events long ago. 

"That's great, but un-busy yourself," there was an edge to Natasha's voice that Wanda rarely heard, and she felt herself getting the secondhand shame as if she'd been the one that was getting scolded.

"Steve literally saved your life on the last mission and had been the one to fight for your choice from the beginning."

Wanda could practically picture your jaw clenching in anger. No one really talked about it, but it was clear from the start there had never been a choice for you. It was being with the Avengers or becoming government property. At least with the Avengers, you had some semblance of freedom. 

To Wanda's surprise, she could hear you sigh quietly. 

"Alright. I'll be there. Are we bringing gifts?"

"Yes, I can send you a list of things you can get him, if you'd like."

"That'd be helpful, thank you."

"Alright," Natasha gently said, and Wanda could picture her giving you a soft smile. "We'll see you—" Wanda heard a soft click of the door. "—there."

When Natasha came in, Wanda tried to look busy bustling around the kitchen, but it was clear the redhead saw through her.

"Well, I've achieved something that no one else on this team has. I deserve the Nobel Peace prize," Natasha gave her a wry smile, and Wanda laughed.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Who's to say this won't blow up in your face?" 

Natasha shrugged. "She's...cold but I don't think she'd do anything on purpose to ruin Steve's day."

Wanda merely shrugged because she doesn't know you. She wanted to, but it's hard to get closer to someone who moves further when she tries to move closer. 

Wanda tapped the counter softly, wondering if she'd get a chance at this party.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The party was exactly as Wanda pictured it'd be. Tony pretended he didn't care about Steve often, but it was clear that he did by how extravagant the party was.

It was still only the Avengers team and other people that Steve had come to know here and there. But by the end of it, there were only the superheroes left. 

You had been distant and quiet the entire party. No one had been surprised, and many had come up to try to engage you in conversation. You were polite and responded, but it was clear you had wanted to leave long ago. 

Wanda hadn't attempted because she doesn't think she can take any more rejection from you tonight. 

Steve had thanked you sincerely with a smile for the new leather jacket and the various candies from the 40s that definitely would've required some deep digging to find.

You merely nodded with a terse smile that had Steve quickly moving along to the next gift. 

It was a wonder that you were staying so long, and Wanda wonders if it's because of Natasha or if you were genuinely trying to show Steve that you were thankful. 

"So," Tony started as he had a champagne glass in his hand, and everyone settled into their seats, starting to line up the board games for the night. "What's your problem with us?"

It was like an asteroid just hit the room, which might've been preferable to the awkward silence that followed after.

You looked taken aback slightly.

"Problem?" You quirked your brow at the billionaire. 

"Yeah," Tony nodded after swallowing. "Have we done something to personally wrong you? Other than the whole bringing the psychotic villain to your work and then fighting with the government over you. In our defense, we couldn't control where that guy would crash into."

You stayed silent, and Wanda desperately wished she could read your mind if not for the fact she knew it was invasive, and you'd know.

In the end, you don't respond to Tony's question other than a mere shrug and saying you didn't have a problem at all, which no one believed. 

The night progresses, and you don't participate in any board games but watch in mild interest in the background. You had been sipping on the fresh batch of punch Clint had made, and Wanda found it strange. You had been sipping on water the entire day, so she wondered why you had decided to suddenly drink. 

Wanda was sure you'd have left long ago, and no one would fault you for it. Natasha would've let you off the hook hours ago. You hadn't participated in their laughter or anything, but you were still there.

"This is super weird, right?" Tony whispered conspiringly as he leaned in to say it and looked in your direction. "She's never stayed this long before. I mean, she's not being a part of the group or anything, but she's here."

Steve just cautiously looked over at you. He wished you'd just come and join in on the fun, but he also didn't want to push your boundaries. 

"I've never seen her drink before," Bucky said thoughtfully. "Like, ever. Not at any public events or even on a random night here."

Natasha was staring at you, too, from the corner of her eye. Your eyes were hazy, and she could bet if she touched your cheeks, they'd be warm.

"Clint," Natasha turned her attention to her left. "Did you tell her that you put soju in this round of punch? You kept it alcohol free earlier because there were a couple of pregnant women here, right?"

"Oh, I mean, I said it, but I don't know if she was listening since she was kind of far from us when we were in the kitchen," Clint said thoughtfully. 

Everyone was doing the mental math on how many glasses you had since Clint made the new batch. 

"Is she...drunk?" Tony's eyes sparkled. 

Everyone turned to look at you, and the sudden movement caught your attention as you looked back at them. You seemed embarrassed being looked at and sipped at your drink harder. 

"Hey," Tony's voice was dripping with honey. "Why don't you come join us for a game?"

Everyone waited with bated breath.

"I don't know how to play," you finally said, chewing on your straw. 

"That's okay, we can teach you. You can come and watch closer for a round, and we'll explain it, and you can join the next round," Tony tried to say patiently, but he was obviously eager. 

Wanda was shocked to see you mull it over before nodding. She watched you stand and make your way to sit down next to Tony since he was the one waving you over. 

Her heart fluttered with excitement as she was sure everyone else was too. 

They all tried to play it cool, but they could tell you were much more relaxed with your posture as you watched them play the game, and everyone took turns explaining the rules and the moves they were making.

Eventually, you joined the next round but playing it made you seem more stressed than when you were just watching. So, even though you won that round, you opted to not play anymore but still remained with the group.

"Hah! Take that, capsicle," Tony cackled while Steve rolled his eyes. 

Tony was about to continue gloating when he froze, and everyone else froze too.

You had adjusted, scooting closer until your side was pressed up against Tony's and leaning your head on his shoulder. 

"Oh my god," Tony whispered, staying upright stiffly. "Oh my god, oh my god. Is this really happening? Someone take a picture. FRIDAY, take a picture."

Everyone had their mouths agape slightly, but you didn't seem to notice as you stared at the board. 

"This board game is really long," you finally said. 

"We could play something else," Natasha suggested, and she locked eyes with Tony as if they were trying to debate if they were hallucinating. They turned to Wanda, who looked partially offended but shrugged and looked back at you.

Wanda stared, a little regretful that she hadn't been the one to wave you over to sit next to her. You had caught her gaze briefly, giving her a small smile that surely Wanda was sure she’d imagine. You? Smiling at her? But Wanda’s cheek warmed nonetheless. Crap, why was she so desperate to have you like her?

"Do you have a game that you like playing?" Steve asked, trying to not gawk. 

"Jenga?" You said as if you were unsure yourself. 

"I have Jenga! Someone go grab it," Tony said as they all looked at him. "What? I can't move. This is like having a picky cat finally choose to sit on you, and it's forbidden to move. One could argue it's illegal."

Natasha rolled her eyes as she got up to get the game and returned while everyone else packed up the game. Well, everyone except Tony. 

You seemed more enthused about playing Jenga, lasering your focus when it was your turn. The strangest part was how you'd go back to laying your head on Tony's shoulder when it wasn't your turn. It made everyone curious if you had a crush on him and it was driving Wanda insane. She was trying to not glare at Tony because why him? But Tony was smiling at her as if he knew some kind of secret.

That theory of your crush was quickly debunked when things began to get more intense in Jenga, and the pieces were starting to get difficult to move. 

You had decided that where you were sitting was no longer optimal for your chances to win and abandoned Tony as you moved around the table. When you decided where the perfect spot was, it had turned out to be where Natasha was seated. She was about to make room for you when you decided her lap was more convenient. 

"I’ll be talking about this abandonment in therapy next week," Tony said dramatically.

You stumbled a little, nearly falling off, and Natasha had to put her hands on your waist to steady you. You paid no mind to it as you perfectly picked a piece to move and put on top, a victorious smile on your face. 

Natasha thought that'd be it. You'd get up and move back to Tony or back to your own seat, but you stayed. Clearly, you decided this was the best place to be for at least a couple of moves. 

You leaned back against Natasha, swinging your arm around her as you rested your head atop of hers. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Natasha asked worriedly, unable to move her hands away and actually having to wrap them around your waist as you sat in a way that if she didn't, you'd slide right off her lap and onto the floor. 

"Yeah," you turned to her and gave her a bright smile that almost made Natasha quit the game just so you could have a better chance of winning. She looked over at Wanda and smiled apologetically, but Wanda just sighed with a deep frown as she took the next piece out rather aggressively. 

Wanda tried to think about when it was that she might’ve developed a crush on you. How was it possible to develop a crush on someone who constantly turned you down? Maybe it was because despite how the both of you always knew the answer would be no, you always stopped to listen to Wanda fumble through the words of asking you to tag along somewhere. You always let her finish with patience and turned her down more gently than when you said no to everyone else. 

When it was Natasha's turn, she was about to choose whatever block was in front of her, but as she reached for it, you grabbed her hand.

"No," you whispered loudly. It was hilarious if you were going for quiet and secretiveness. "You can't choose that one."

"Oh?" Natasha said amusedly. "Which one should I choose then?"

You continued to hold Natasha's hand as you hummed.

"This one," you guided her hand to one that looked much more stable to pull out. You were eager and smiling at her, clearly wanting to be helpful.

Natasha thought you were so adorable. So unbearably cute...until she pulled out that piece and the Jenga tower crumbled. 

You burst out laughing while Natasha and everyone else looked flabbergasted. 

"Why you—" Natasha started to say, about to tickle you when you jumped out of her lap and went to hide behind Steve and Bucky. "This was sabotage!"

You giggled. "Yeah, I don't think I could've won when my turn comes. Had to secure my victory another way, you know?" 

"No, I don't know! I am an honorable player," Natasha huffed but smiled. 

"Nice guys finish last, as they say," you said sagely, and everyone laughed. You had a sense of humor, and everyone was confused about why you wouldn't show this side of you when sober. 

You clearly did like them. No amount of drinking could make you get along with people you despised. If anything, the alcohol would've given you the courage to start a fight. 

"Alright, let's take a break from the games and watch something," Steve looked over at Bucky, who was looking back at him. 

You were so close to them with your chin resting over Bucky's shoulder to see and your hand resting on top of Steve's on the ground, but you didn't seem to notice. 

"Alright, I'll go set something up if you guys clean up the mess here," Natasha offered. "Any preferences on what we watch?"

Everyone turned to you, and you turned to Steve since it was his birthday.

"You choose. I haven't really caught up with what's new," Steve smiled at his joke, but you stared at him pensively. 

Steve didn't really seem to care for movies. He certainly didn't mind them, but you were too antsy to sit silently through a film. 

"Extreme couponing." 

Everyone was stunned. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"This is so...disturbing."

You chuckled at Steve's crinkled brows. 

Wanda was trying to not hyperventilate. The seating arrangement ended with Wanda at the edge, you next to her, Steve next to you, and Bucky next to Steve.

It was rather crowded on the couch, but that was because you had started with sitting normally. Then, you had moved to resting against Steve and playing curiously with Bucky's robotic hand on Steve's lap.

Now, you were laying your head in Wanda's lap, legs sprawled over Steve's lap, toes bumping into Bucky's leg. 

"Why would anyone need 40 bottles of detergent? Why does she keep getting more when it's going to take her about three years to finish the 40 she has now?" Steve was genuinely disturbed. 

"It's an addiction," you grinned, and Wanda could feel it on her leg and refrain from twitching. 

"It's hoarding," Steve shook his head, and Bucky snorted.

"Hoarding is an addiction, Stevie." 

The bickering went back and forth while Wanda idly wondered how long this drunken state of yours would last. 

You had continued to drink the punch as the night went until Natasha finally cut you off as much as she was also enjoying your newfound friendliness. 

You had your hand resting in front of you as you lazily stroked Wanda's thigh you rested on, moving your hand down to caress her leg and calf. The entire thing gave Wanda shivers and goosebumps on her arms, but she forced herself to not move with all her willpower.

Tony's stupid words wouldn't leave her head that you were like a cat and moving was forbidden because if she moved, what if you moved away?

Everyone has taken some liberties in reciprocating your touchiness. Tony had rested his head against yours, and Natasha had held you while you were in her lap. Steve currently had his hands on top of your calves that rested in his lap, while Bucky had his normal hand over your toes to keep them warm. Wanda honestly wished she could swat their hands away. It was honestly more irksome that the two soldiers could tell she was annoyed with them but kept their hands where they were.

But Wanda had been too nervous to try to touch you back. She wasn't sure what to do at this point.

Should she try to stroke your hair? Should she rest her hand over your shoulder?

The thoughts were making Wanda jittery and also frozen with too many choices that weren't really hers to make. 

Eventually, lying down seemed to be putting you to sleep, which wasn't what you wanted. You sat up, cuddling into Wanda's side with your legs pulled into yourself, and curling your arm around hers. 

Admittedly, this was so much better since it was finally just her turn for your attention and her turn alone. But she was also more jittery than before.

"You always smell so good," you sighed contentedly.

"Huh?" Wanda bumbled ungracefully while everyone tried to not laugh aloud. "Oh, thanks."

"Like, you always smell like cinnamon and something else," you pondered and then stuck your nose right into Wanda's neck and sniffed. 

Wanda was sure she was going to die right then and there. Simply perish. 

"Oh, like citrus!" You were pleased that you figured it out and went back to rest your head against her shoulder. 

Wanda glared at the rest of them as they all smiled teasingly at her. 

"Did you have fun today?" Clint asked, and you nodded.

"Yeah, I'm glad I went."

"Do you usually want to go when we ask you out?" Natasha asked next, and you seemed to ponder answering as you tapped your finger against Wanda's inner forearm.

"Yes," you decided to admit. 

"Why don't you?" Steve asked softly. "We'd like to hang out with you more."

You shrugged. "I get nervous."

"Nervous?" Bucky tilted his head as he looked over at you.

"I'm not always like this," you said, and it was the first time that everyone realized that you were aware of how friendly you were being. "Most of the time, I'm nervous. I'm quieter and don't often like doing things like board games, shopping, or whatever usually requires too much brain power or socializing. I'm boring."

"You're not boring," Natasha insisted while Tony hummed, and she elbowed him in the ribs roughly so that he coughed. 

You gave her a sweet smile but shrugged. 

"I am most of the time. I feel bad you have a new teammate that's not as exciting as the rest of you are. I feel like I should say sorry that I don't have some traumatic origin story, and I was just a regular person with these powers that I rarely used."

Everyone actually chuckled. 

"We don't mind. We thought you genuinely hated us for having to be here," Natasha crossed her legs. 

You looked genuinely confused at that. 

"Huh? Why would I hate you guys? I mean, it's not all rainbows and sunshine, but I like it here."

Wanda hummed thoughtfully. You were just a homebody and shy, and it was coming out all wrong when they asked you out. 

Eventually, people began to call it a night until just the two of you that remained on the couch, extreme couponing still playing. 

"Are you tired?" You asked. 

"No," Wanda answered quickly. 

You smiled as you sat up and faced her, and she turned her body towards you. 

Wanda was probably the person who often attempted to get closer to you despite how cold you had been. She had been alone, known that feeling, and didn't wish it upon you. 

You tugged at Wanda's hand until her cool palm cupped your cheek. Sighing adorably, you leaned into her hand before you moved forward, completely invading Wanda's space as you hid your face into her neck.

Wanda felt her heart pulse uncontrollably. This was so unlike you, and Wanda had been convinced just hours ago that you hated the entire team. The only thing Wanda could think in her head was, 'What do I do?' over and over. Should she hold you back? Was that taking advantage of you? But Wanda knew if she didn't reciprocate, you were just going to the next person to be touchy-feely with, and that was the last thing she wanted. 

It didn't matter that everyone else had gone to bed. 

It was most likely that Natasha was actually still up and in the training room. 

"I said no to you because I was nervous about something else," you quietly admitted. 

"About what?" Wanda whispered. 

"You make me nervous," your hand flexed in hers, unaware you were just repeating what you’ve said earlier. 

"I don't think you're boring," Wanda insisted, and she could feel you smiling.

"I know, you're as boring as me," you smirked, and Wanda would've been offended if it wasn't so true. She was more inclined to be a homebody with you, and she had a feeling the two of you meshed well together. Any outdoor activities could easily be agreed upon. After all, she could understand liking to take walks but having no desire to climb Mount Everest. 

"Then?" Wanda nudged at you.

"You make me nervous," you simply repeated like this time, Wanda would magically understand what you were trying to say. "And if I get too nervous, it's harder to control my powers."

"I think that'll just go away with time," Wanda blinked.

"I don't know. You're really pretty and I don't think that's going to go away."

Wanda felt her heart jump at the words and felt the tips of her ears burn.

Oh, god, she thought. Drunk you was too smooth and honest.

"I'm really tired now," you yawned, and Wanda felt the disappointment creep up on her. 

"Oh, right," Wanda looked at the clock. "It is pretty late. We should get some sleep. You're probably going to be a little hungover tomorrow."

You nodded forlornly as if you knew you would be miserable in the morning. 

"Okay, do you want to sleep in my room or yours?"

The question shocked Wanda. 

"Uh, what?" Wanda stumbled again. 

You tilted your head at her. "I can't sleep alone when I'm drunk. If you don't want to, that's okay. I think I can probably hop in bed with Natasha, or maybe with Bucky and Steve," you said thoughtfully, but it seemed reluctant as you felt like Bucky was a blanket hogger. 

"No, no," Wanda said quickly. She wouldn't mind Bucky and Steve, but if you hopped into bed with Natasha, there'd be no telling how long Natasha could reject your drunken advances before she'd give in to your need for any physical touch you asked for. "We'll sleep in my room."

"Okay," you yawned again as you got up and pulled Wanda along. 

You led her all the way, and she was surprised by your tenacity to still brush your teeth and wash your face before you rummaged through her closet unabashedly for sleeping clothes. 

When you finally climbed into bed, Wanda heard you moan contentedly at the cool sheets but still snuggled up to her. You pulled her arms over you and hummed. 

"Goodnight," you mumbled sleepily.

"Goodnight," Wanda mumbled back perplexedly, cautiously tightening her hold on you.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wanda woke that morning to you lying on your back, staring at the ceiling, mortified. She was surprised you remained in her bed as she half-expected you to disappear long before Wanda woke up.

Her sudden movement alerted you to Wanda being awake.

"This is why I never drink," you groaned quietly and sighed with a frown. 

Wanda couldn't help but chuckle. She risked it and moved her hand under the blanket to find your hand. She was glad you still seemed open to physical touch and held her hand back. 

"Are you still nervous?" 

"Yes," you admitted. "But I'm more reluctant about my impending doom when we leave this room."

"You want to stay here forever?" Wanda jokes, and you turned to look at her with a sparkle in your eye, and it was...everything Wanda wanted. Wanda hoped she'd never see that cold side of you again, and if she did, she at least knew it was because you were anxious. 

"At least ask me dinner first before you try to keep me in your bed, Maximoff."

"I have, numerous times actually."

You actually let out a laugh and squeezed her hand. "Sorry. Can we have dinner together today?"

Wanda smiled. "I should say no to you as many times as you have to me but I'll be nice and say yes."

"You'll go down in history for being gracious, Miss Maximoff."

The two of you chat quietly as you prepare for the day, and when you make it out and into the kitchen, everyone else is already there, and you stare at everyone awkwardly.

You're open to open your mouth and apologize for last night when they all grin at you.

"You better not drink if Wanda's not around," Tony grinned wickedly. "She's the jealous type."

[storiesforallfandoms]

when stunts go wrong ~ johnny knoxville

word count: 2238

request?: yes!

“ahh your requests are open, love your writing and literally just want johnny knoxville getting together fluff. you work with jackass and him nervous around you and yeah, that’s all. thank you so much!”

description: in which you join the jackass crew for their newest movie and try to impress johnny with a stunt, only for it to go incredibly wrong

pairing: johnny knoxville x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of series injuries

masterlist (one, two)

*i changed the request a little just because i actually already had this one in my backlog*

Being a part of the newest Jackass movie meant getting hurt. You knew that. You had grown up with the show and all three movies, you were well aware of the shenanigans that the original Jackass crew got up to. But you were far from prepared for the aftermath of your biggest stunt in the movie.

You were one of two women who were cast for the new movie, which also meant you were one of the first ever women to be on the main cast. The guys tried to go easy on you and Rachel, but you made it clear from the beginning that you wanted to be a part of the stunts just as much as the guys were. This was your childhood dream, you wanted to be a part of it.

Not to mention you were trying to impress the fearless leader of the gang, Johnny Knoxville.

Yeah, Johnny was quite a number of years older than you, and yeah, maybe that should've deterred you from having feelings for him, but you couldn’t help it. You had always had a crush on Johnny even before being cast in Jackass Forever, but meeting him on set and getting to know him just made that crush grow stronger.

So, those two facts combined was how you came to find yourself looking down a water slide on a steep hill that ended on a hard, sandy land.

The stunt seemed simple enough when it was pitched to you: the guys were gonna build a make shift waterslide and have someone go down on a pool floaty onto the sandy. The pressure of the water would start slow, so that the impact would’ve be as bad, and eventually it would get higher and higher until whoever got on at the end would be shot down the hill at full speed onto the sand.

Jasper had gone first to “test it out”, then went the next two times as the water pressure was increased. Zach went down once in a floaty and then once with Wee Man on his back. Dave and Ehren raced down together at the second to highest speed, with both of them eventually colliding before even reaching the bottom.

When Johnny went to crank it up to the highest speed, you decided to volunteer to go down.

“Are you sure?” Zach asked. “It’s not a soft landing.”

“What did I tell you guys about treating me like I’m soft?” you asked. “I wanna do it. I’m sure it’s not as bad as some of the stunts I’ve done so far.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” Ehren said, an ice pack against his throbbing head.

“You collided with Dave, that’s different,” you teased. “Grab me a floaty, I’m going down.”

One of the guys passed you a floaty and you went over towards the slide. The water was rushing as such a quick speed that even stepping onto it caused you to lose your balance. Someone reached out to help steady you and when you looked up you saw it was Johnny. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you smiled up at him and he smiled back.

Steve-O came over to hold your floaty while you positioned yourself to sit down on it.

“You’re one bad ass motherfucker, (Y/N),” he said once you were ready to go.

“Thanks, man,” you said. “I’m good whenever you wanna let me go.”

Although you felt far from ready to go. Feeling how quickly the water was moving and now looking down the slide while being on it was starting to make you second guess your choice. But it was too late; you were already on the floaty and Johnny was watching. There was no turning back now.

“Okay, I’m gonna count to three and let you go,” Steve-O said. “One...two...” He hesitated, so you looked up and gave him a nod, confirming that you were ready. “Three.”

When he let you go, you shot down the slide like a rocket. You were moving so fast you were sure the wind was going to knock you off the floaty. The way down was actually kind of fun. You exclaimed in excitement as you hurtled towards the bottom of the slide, which was tilted upwards like a ramp for maximum launch.

Even being shot in the air felt like fun. You felt like you were flying. You were anticipating the painful landing, but you were sure once you got that first impact over with - as long as you didn’t land and break anything - you’d get the pain done and over with just as quickly.

But then you found yourself flipping as you made your downward decent. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion, but also like it was going too fast for you to try and fix yourself. Before you knew it, you were hitting the ground head first, and everything went black.

~~~~~~

When you came to you were sure you had died. All you could see when you opened your eyes was a bright white light. It took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to it and to realize it was just overhead lighting in a hospital room.

You were hooked up to wires that lead to a beeping machine. Your neck felt stiff and you realized it was because there was a brace around it. Actually, your entire body felt stiff. You wondered how long you had been out.

As if on cue, the door to your room opened and a doctor peaked in.

“Well hello there. Look who is awake,” he said. “Miss. (Y/L/N), do you remember how you got here?”

You went to shake your head, but groaned in pain as you did so.

“Yeah, I would advice against doing that as much as you can,” the doctor said. “You were brought in because you filmed a dangerous stunt that went wrong. You landed on your head very hard. You have a concussion and a neck injury. You’ll have to keep the brace on for a few weeks at least, and probably have to take it easy moving forward.”

You cringed to yourself. That didn’t sound great, especially in terms of your career. It wasn’t too far into the filming of Jackass Forever, and if you couldn’t finish the movie, what would that mean for you in the franchise moving forward?

“You’ll definitely have to sit out of the rest of filming that movie,” the doctor continued as if reading your mind. “No offense, but that stunt was incredibly stupid. Any one of you could’ve ended up much more seriously injured, or killed.”

All the stunts are like that, doc. Never stopped anyone before, you thought to yourself, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. The last thing you wanted was a lecture from a doctor you didn’t even know.

“You had someone come in with you,” he said. “We have him in the waiting room, but now that you’re awake we can send him in if you feel up for it.”

You went to nod, but remembered your neck injury and instead tried to speak for the first time.

“Yes.” It came out hoarse and squeaky, but at least you knew you could talk.

The doctor nodded and walked out of the room. You wondered who it was that came in with you. You figured it had to be one of the guys. They were probably all worried sick. You hoped they weren’t too stressed out over your injuries or anything.

You looked up at the door and felt your heart flutter when you saw Johnny standing there. He was looking at you with relief as he raced over to your bed, arms out like he was about to hug you. He stopped short before he reached you.

“Wait,” he said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You chuckled. “A little too late for that.”

He was cautious as he slipped his arms under your body and pulled you to him. You winced a little as a pain shot through your neck, but you tried not to let him know. When he laid you back down, the pain subsided.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asked.

“I remember the slide,” you responded. “I remember going down on it, being in the air. After that, it’s all blank.”

“Probably for the best. It wasn’t...pretty.”

“The doctor said I landed on my head.”

Johnny ran a hand through his silver hair. “Yeah...yeah you did. Really hard. We...we all thought...”

He trailed off, but you knew what he was going to say. They all thought you had died. It must’ve been a pretty bad for them to think that.

“Did you get it on film?” you asked.

“Yeah, but we’ve already decided we’re not putting it in the movie.” You opened your mouth to protest, but Johnny cut you off, “You could’ve died, (Y/N). We’re not putting that in the movie.”

“But you have had injuries just as bad or worse before, and you put that in the movie. Why is it any different if I do it? Because I’m a woman?”

“No, because I don’t wanna have to sit in the theatre and watch you get hurt again and have to relieve that fear I had when we realized you weren’t moving.”

The outburst took you back. You could understand that it was agreed to cut the scene out of respect for you, but the fact that Johnny felt so passionately about you being hurt kind of surprised you. You knew it shouldn’t, he cared for everyone in the Jackass crew, both the originals and the newbies, but there was something in his tone that made it seem different this time.

You reached out to take his hand in yours. When he looked up at you, you could still see the worry all over his face, like he was still waiting to know that you were okay.

“But I made it,” you reasoned. “You know that. You’re looking at me with your own eyes. If I’m sitting next to you in that theatre when the scene is shown, shouldn’t that count for something?”

Johnny wouldn’t meet your eye. He looked down at your connected hands, giving yours a slight squeeze before bringing it to his lips. He brushed a gentle kiss over your knuckles, both surprising you and making you dizzy with excitement.

“I feel things for you that I know are wrong,” he said. “Because in a way you’re my employee, and you’re so much younger than me. But I can’t help but feel this way. When I saw you get hurt and the medics told us you weren’t moving or waking up, I was terrified. It felt like my whole world was crashing down. I thought...I wasn’t going to be able to continue with the movie if we lost you.” He chuckled, humorlessly. “All that and we’re not even together or anything. I feel crazy.”

“You’re not crazy,” you assured him. “Honestly, not to make it sound like I’m blaming you, but I probably wouldn’t have done that stunt if it wasn’t for the fact that I feel the same way about you.”

He finally looked up at your face again, his eyes wide with shock now. “What?”

You could feel yourself heating up with embarrassment, but you kept talking anyways. “I keep participating in these big stunts because I also have feelings for you that I know I shouldn’t. I’ve been trying to impress you since day one. I had this idiotic thought in my mind that if I volunteered to do the more dangerous stunts that not even any of the guys wanted to do, that you’d be impressed and...and maybe you’d even like me back. How’s that for crazy?”

He smiled. A real smile, now. “That’s far beyond crazy. That’s utterly insane, actually.”

“Yeah, well, I think that’s par for the course when you’re part of Jackass.”

You both chuckled and soon silence filled the room. You weren’t sure where to go from here, and it didn’t seem like Johnny knew either.

Not that there was really any possibility of you going anywhere right now, considering the neck injury and the concussion. If he did happen to ask you out on a date or anything, there was no way you would be going out in public with the giant brace around your neck.

“Listen, I know you’re gonna be out of commission for a while,” Johnny said at last. “Trust me, I’ve been here more times than I can count. So, maybe with my experience in this area, I could help you get better.”

You giggled a little. “Are you gonna be my personal nurse?”

He did a mock salute and responded, “Nurse Knoxville, at your service. Anything you want or need, you just need to ask.”

You raised a suggestive eyebrow at him. “Anything?”

His face turned a light shade of pink as he awkwardly laughed. “Well, in your condition not anything, but we could work our way there eventually. If that’s what you want, I mean.”

You squeezed his hand again, almost forgetting you were still holding it. “I’d like that a lot, Johnny. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, get some rest. I’ll ask the doctor when we can have you out of here and back home.”

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Part 04 of 07

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader | platonic!Eddie X Reader

Word count: 1.9 K

<- Previous part (03)

Next part -> (05)

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

Summary: You didn't get over Billy's death, isolating yourself from everyone. But when a new monster starts making victims, the party has no other choice but to involve you... And ask you to give shelter to a metalhead.

A/N: Special thanks to my wonderful friend @multific for all her help through this story. I love you, girl!!

×

Hopes and Anchors

Nancy having guns doesn't surprise you. But that's only because you also have two yourself. And so, the small party starts to walk, flashlights on hand, careful and paying attention to the surroundings. Your ears and eyes are open, on high alert to anything out of the ordinary.

Robin leads, keeping the group's pace fast but cautious. Nancy and Steve are just behind her, but with time their pace grows slower, as they start to talk. And, to give them some privacy, you do the same. That's how you pair up with Eddie, and then, both of you stay even further behind the group but make sure they're always in your sight.

“What's up between those two?” Eddie asks after a while.

“They used to date. Then they broke up, now Nancy is with Jonathan but...” Shrugging your shoulders, you step over a particularly large vine. “I don't know, they're not doing very well, it seems. But I... I don't keep up anymore.”

“Can I say something? Something you probably won't like?” Furrowing your eyebrows, you look at him, nodding. “I think, whoever Billy was, he would want you to move on.” That makes you stop, a breath caught in your throat. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.”

“No, I...” Shaking your head, you clear your throat. “It's okay. I just don't talk about him since...”

“I don't think that's very healthy.”

“It hurts too much.”

“Wanna tell me about him?” He speaks fast, and you start to walk again. You know what he's doing. Eddie is trying to help, and it warms your heart a little. He's a good person. Which is obvious, or else Dustin wouldn't admire him so much. “I mean, everyone seems to know the guy, but I got to the party a bit too late.” He offers you a small smile.

And you find yourself smiling as well. “I met Billy on his first day at school. I literally ran onto him, so fast we both fell. He was so mad, and I was laughing so hard, I don't even remember why. Something clicked, I think. Because when we got up, we just looked at each other.” The memory brings a bright smile to your lips. “The next day the jerk offered me a ride home. One week after that, the first date. Ever since we were a thing. Girls used to hate me because I stole all of her chances to hook Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy. And despite not being in an official relationship, we were together.”

“Sounds like you were really into each other.” He says, almost slipping. You giggle and he gives you a fake angry stare.

“We were... But he... He never really said it. And I don't blame him, but...”

“But...”

You stop again, and this time, you don't cry. The pain is deep, still fresh, but maybe you're out of tears. “He said it when he was dying.” It comes out so low you're not sure Eddie heard you. “He died in my arms, sacrificed himself on his last sane moment after the Mind Flayer possessed him. He... He said he loved me... But I didn't have time to say it back.” Saying it after eight months hits you hard, and you fall on your knees, a hand on your stomach as you catch your breath.

“Hey.” Eddie kneels next to you, touching your arm. “He knew. Do you hear me? He knew it, he didn't have to hear it. He knew.”

Covering your face, you take deep breaths, trying to control yourself, get a grip of yourself. “W-what if he didn't? What if he didn't?”

“Did you make him feel loved? Did you ever try to make him feel loved?”

You did. Every single day, your mission was to show Billy he was loved, despite the awful things Neil told him. “Yes.”

“He knew. I promise you, he knew.”

Slowly, you calm yourself, forcing into silence all your racing thoughts and feelings. Taking your hands off your face, you suck in deep breaths, eyes on the forest ground. You're about to get up when something gets your attention. It reflects the dim light of this place, and it has you reaching out in the mud to see what it is, this thing that doesn't seem like it belongs on this dark forest floor.

Your movements are slow and lethargic, as you clean it from tiny dead leaves and mud. But then, you recognize it. A soundless yell escapes your lips as you hold it against your chest, your sight getting blurred as you feel yourself falling.

“(Y/N)!” Eddie's voice reaches out to you, but it sounds distant, miles away. “(Y/N), don't do this to me. (Y/N), what happened?” Arms come to surround you, and then you're being lifted. “Stay with me, okay? Stay with me, (Y/N).” He's starting to get desperate, but you're still lost in your stupor, hand clenched into a fist, holding tightly on to his earing. “Okay, you're okay.” He clears his throat. “She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories.” Eddie starts to sing, and you can hear his voice near your ear. “C'mon, stay with me. Where everything was as fresh as the blue bright sky.”

The music goes on for a while, until you slowly climb back to yourself, your eyes opening, and the weight of your discovery crashing over you. “What happened?”

“I don't know. She just fainted.” Eddie replies, and you feel yourself being put down.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), can you hear me?” Steve asks, and when you look at him, you wrap your arms around his neck.

That's when the crying starts. Messy, painful, desperate. “I found his necklace. I found his necklace. Billy's necklace, I found it, Steve. I found it.” You repeat over and over again.

“Alright. Shh. Let me see it. Hey.” He pulls away, looking down at you. “Let me see it.”

With shaking hands, you show it to him. Steve takes it carefully from your hand. “No way,” Nancy mutters, and you look at her appalled face.

“What does it mean?” You ask them, all of them. “What does it mean? He was wearing it. I remember. He was wearing it.”

“We need to find a way out of here,” Steve says, a hand on your cheek. “When we're safe back in Hawkins, we'll talk about this. Alright? I promise. But right now, we have to move.”

It's not fair. It's just not fair that you can't discuss this now, right freaking now... But you know he's right. And you don't have the brains to think now.

So you just move, with Eddie helping you through the way, as the others also have eyes on you. When you get to Nancy's house, you sit on the couch, still perplexed, still crying like a baby. You hear them talking about something. About the gun not being here, about the Upside Down being stuck somewhere in the past... But you can't follow. Your brain just can't process it now.

You're back in that dark place, unable to move, or think.

At some point, you notice you're lying against Eddie, your head on his shoulder as you deal with some sobbing. Clearing your throat and doing your best to wipe off the many tears rolling down your face, you move away from him. “Sorry... I didn't even notice.”

He looks at you, worry and sadness in his eyes. “It's alright. I don't mind, really. And you really need a shoulder to cry on.” Turning to stare at him, Eddie gives you the saddest smile you've ever seen. “Come, it's alright.”

His kindness makes you cry all over again, and you let yourself snuggle on him, eyes closed. Then, he starts to hum "Sweet Child O' Mine."

•••

Climbing through a gate on the ceiling and then falling was a very unusual experience. You hurt your arm by falling on a bad way, and then, there was the thing with Vecna taking Nancy. You almost lost your mind at the thought of losing Nancy too.

But Vecna only needed to pass on a message. The revelations had your mind spinning around, and you had to leave them to shower and rest. There was a fight when they forced you to get some sleep, with the promise of having a good plan for when you wake up.

You did feel like a baby, even more, when the babysitter himself came to tuck you in the bed. But you understand their worry. And you're thankful.

But what warms your heart, even more, is that, after half an hour of staring at the ceiling, when Eddie comes to check on you at Steve's request, he stays. Eddie sits next to you, singing your song in a low voice. Then, at some point, you grab his hand, just when you're about to close your eyes, and just hold it, as a way to ground you to reality. A scary, painful reality that stole your love from you, but the reality where your friends - your chosen family - live. So you need to stay grounded. And Eddie is pretty much being your anchor now.

You wake up suddenly, a breath caught up in your throat. “Rise and shine,” Eddie says, looking down at you.

“How long have I slept?” You mutter, looking at your joined hands. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” He says as you let go of his hand. “You needed it.”

“I did.” There's no reason to deny it. “Do they have a plan?”

“Probably. There was some yelling and arguing.”

“Then they have a plan.” Sitting up, you yawl. “You can shower if you want... There are still some clean clothes you can use, right?” Eddie nods. “I'll speak to them.”

“Can I wash my hair?”

The question and his slightly embarrassed face make you giggle. “If you don't mind your hair smelling like flowers.”

Eddie chuckles, rolling his eyes. “Girls and their flowers.”

As Eddie goes to the bathroom, you make your way to the living room to find what the battle plans are.

And you're not even a little bit surprised to know you'll be going to a gun store named "Warzone", just outside Hawkins. And you're far less surprised by how you intend on going there without risking anyone's car. For the first time, the party will have to do some stealing, but everyone here already committed a crime or two, and as long as it's for the greater good, you don't mind it at all.

And with that, you all prepare for the next day. Car theft, Warzone, Upside Down... And then, killing Vecna once and for all.

They all left without the promised talk about Billy's necklace, which you're wearing now around your neck now. But it's alright... You have plans of your own, that you mean to merge with their own.

×

@ietss @littestatesman @hanahisawizard @aaaaslaaaan @pans-fav-shank @gerim-1995 @what-the-heckin-heck @lady-ragnvindr @slutfor-muson @whiskeypowder @naiswrld @imagineslover88 @carolineesnell @boomhauer @browneyes528 @lem0ns77 @bdudette @thatsamegirl @spicykimchii

[vanderlustwords]

What if Steve leaves and she finds out she’s pregnant? I really love your alternate ending where he leaves for Peggy and wondering if you could write more about it. Doesn’t have to be him leaving a child behind that was just a question that popped into my head

Pairing: (past) Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Please do not repost/translate anywhere. Reblogs/Comments are much welcomed ♥

Continuation of: This Dress is Karma || Alternate Ending

Warnings: unbeta'd. Angst ending for Steeb.

Note: I don't know how you roped me into writing a 2.3k continuation but here I am LOL

Count: ~2.3k

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You shut the door with a soft click, waiting until you hear the quiet footsteps fade away. The lump in your throat gets harder to swallow as you turn around, leaning back against the door and let out a shaky sigh.

You can't help but think those were some brave words you said to Steve. You desperately wanted them to be true. You did want to be so happy that it would physically pain Steve if he were to ever witness it.

You wanted it to be true that you were never going to see him again because he had hurt you so much, and he needed to stay away from you.

But when you lift your trembling hand to your stomach, you wonder if everything you said had been nothing more than a brave front.

"You alright?"

You immediately look up and see Bucky stepping out of the guest room, fully dressed with towel-dried hair.

You swallow and force a smile as you drop your hand.

"Yeah, you ready to head out?" You ask him as you stand up straight.

Bucky nods with a grumble before he grabs a strand of his hair. "I need a haircut first, though. Do you think we could find a barber first?"

"Sure," you say, turning around and opening the door with Bucky following you behind.

"You sure everything is okay?" Bucky asks you again.

The way your throat feels raw, the hysterical words that want to escape your mouth make you feel dizzy. You want to put your hand against your stomach again as if to see if you could suddenly feel a bump.

But you refrain because Bucky would get suspicious. Well, he'd probably think you had a stomachache first, but if you didn't stop acting strange, he would pry.

"Everything's fine," you mumble.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

As the weeks pass, more and more things begin to slip from you.

There is a layer of never-ending panic that sits right beneath your skin, crawling and setting your nerves on fire.

When you began to get morning sickness and threw up into the toilet, you began to shake.

The reality of your situation began to hit you.

You were pregnant.

With Steve's child.

Steve, who had abandoned you and was grey and old and probably would pass away soon.

The notion of it all had you throwing up in the toilet again.

You were alone, and you were scared.

What were you going to do? You couldn't rely on Steve anymore.

You looked down at your relatively flat stomach still, placing your hand against it.

There was a life growing inside you. What were you going to do?

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It was harder to hide when Bucky came over almost every other day, even though he didn't live with you. He had stayed for a week after the confrontation with Steve but quickly found his own place.

Initially, that had made you feel more alone, like everyone couldn't wait to escape from you. But it had worked out when you needed alone time.

Bucky was currently in your kitchen, cooking up steaks for lunch for the two of you.

The smell of it made you deathly pale.

"What's going on with you?" Bucky asked with a frown as he set the steaks aside to rest.

You had to swallow hard before you could answer. "Nothing," you said weakly. "I'm—I'm sorry. I know you came all the way here to cook but I'm not really hungry."

"You've been saying that for days now, doll," Bucky pursed his lip. "I feel like I haven't seen you eat a proper meal lately. What's going on? I know things have been...hard. Especially since you last saw Steve, but this isn't okay. I need you to eat something in front of me that isn't pretzels, bananas, or bread."

The idea of sliding a piece of steak basted in butter had your stomach knot itself painfully.

You shook your head, but when Bucky insisted, slicing the steak and you watched the juices run, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

You took off to the bathroom in haste.

"Hey—" Bucky called out and took off after you, but you were quick to shut the door before you fell to your knees over the toilet and hurled.

"What's wrong?" Bucky yelled through the door, trying to jiggle it open but found you had locked it. "Open the door, doll. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," you said shakily as you grabbed some toilet paper and wiped your mouth, eyes hot with tears. "I just—I just haven't been feeling well."

The silence on the other side of the door only lingered for a moment before Bucky used his metal arm to turn the doorknob so hard, it broke open.

He found you sitting on the floor, over the toilets, eyes rimmed red and your face pale.

Bucky carefully walks in and kneels slowly before you.

He thinks back the couple of weeks and how you've been going to the bathroom a lot more, and how you don't like going to restaurants to eat. You've been eating at home and the strangest things and wearing more flowy shirts.

He looks at your face, and the way you're trying to hold back your tears makes Bucky feel dread.

"Doll..." he calls you softly. "Are you—Are you pregnant?"

You let out a choked sob in response, face dropping as you close your eyes.

Bucky's quick to hold you in his arms as he strokes your back, his heart dropping.

There was only one person who could've gotten you pregnant.

There had been some dumb shit Steve's done the entire time Bucky's known him. Always getting into scraps he couldn't finish, always prideful when Bucky wanted to help him.

But it had been the first time Bucky's ever been so fucking pissed at Steve. It was the first time Bucky couldn't defend or make an excuse for his friend.

"Bucky, what am I going to do?" You trembled in his arms. "I can't—Steve isn't—I want to keep it but I'm alone."

Bucky swallowed so hard it was painful.

There was no fucking way he was ready to be a dad or step up in any kind of way—that is, if you even let him.

Fuck, you two didn't even have feelings for each other or anything. There was something, maybe, Bucky thought for the future. But now?

"You're not alone," Bucky reassured, keeping his voice still for your sake. "I'm here. I'm here all the way and I'm not gonna leave you, doll. Ever."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

You manage to keep the fact that you're pregnant under the wraps easily. It helps that since saving the world, no one really meets up anymore. A part of you worries because you can't find Wanda anywhere, but you know she can find you if she wanted to.

Sam might be the only other person who knows, and Bucky was begrudging when accepting his help.

Months pass, and you're surprised how dedicated Bucky is. You're pretty sure you're on the verge of a mental breakdown constantly. A part of you worries Steve will show up, but Bucky reassures you that there's nothing Steve could do even if he did show up.

"Fuck..." you swore as Bucky was in the middle of figuring out how to build the crib the two of you got from Ikea. He looks up at you alarmingly. "I think my water just broke."

"Oh, shit, okay, okay!" Bucky jumps up right away and starts running around to grab the prepared bag as he helps you out into the car. "Don't panic!"

"Bucky, I'm literally about to push a baby out of my body. I'm going to fucking panic if I want to," you snap, and Bucky bites his lip to refrain from speaking as he zips through traffic.

"Oh, god," you say under your breath. You were having a baby. You were actually going to have a baby.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

"Bucky, you can't just carry her everywhere," you grumbled as you pushed the stroller through the park. "You're spoiling her."

"Yes, I can. She wants me to carry her and whatever my princess wants, she gets." Bucky declared indignantly at you while sticking his tongue out.

You sighed with a smile.

You couldn't believe a year has passed. Despite the time passing, you never really felt fully prepared as a mother. You were scared you were fucking it up all the time if you're honest.

Bucky holds your hand, and you give him a shy smile. That was new too. Slow and steady, as Bucky has always been, and you think you were falling for him because of that.

When you look up, your heart stops.

"Oh," Steve blinked.

Another year has passed, but you find Steve doesn't look too different. A little more tired perhaps, but still...Steve.

You feel panic creep up in your chest that threatens to become a panic attack before Bucky squeezes your hand.

"Breathe, doll," he whispers encouragingly to you, but it's loud enough for Steve to catch.

You do as he says, taking a few calming breaths. You want to keep walking, but it seems Steve can't stop staring at the child in Bucky's arms.

"Why don't you take Hazel to the pond? She really likes looking at the ducks," you tell Bucky, and he nods, warily looking at you and Steve. He sends Steve a curt nod before he takes the stroller with him and walks off.

Steve's eyes trail after Bucky.

You know then that he knows. It's not hard after all. Hazel looks like a spitting image of Steve, something that had been hard for you to deal with at first. Her blonde hair and blue eyes—the blue eyes were easier since Bucky's eyes were blue too, even if a darker shade.

But Hazel was so lovely; you loved her so easily.

"When did you know?" Steve asked.

You shrugged. "The day before we all saved the world."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Steve's voice was pained and betrayed, and you cocked your brow at him.

"Why? So you would stay?"

"Yes, I would have!" Steve insisted.

The sheer stupidity of the situation had you give a humourless laugh.

"The last thing I want is for you to stay because of a baby, Steve. You wanted to leave, despite everything, you chose to leave. We would only hate each other in the long run."

"That's not true," Steve denied. "When I made that choice, it wasn't because I didn't love you anymore."

"No, you just didn't love me enough."

The words rang clear, almost throwing Steve off-kilter.

The silence fell, and the two of you could hear Hazel laughing with Bucky in the distance as she shrieked.

"Don't you think I deserved to know about her?" Steve asked with his lips pursed.

"No," you answered honestly. "What do you, a 90 something-year-old man, have to offer her? You certainly can't step up and be her father. Your time keeps running out and the last thing I need is for Hazel to have instability. Did you want to be her grandfather? She's already met mine, so do you want to pretend to be Bucky's?"

"So, you're just gonna lie to her and let her think Bucky is her dad?"

Your eyes flash angrily.

"Bucky is her dad. He's the only dad that counts in every way. Do you know how hard it was for me? I was scared shitless, Steve. You can delude yourself into thinking otherwise, but you're unreliable. I couldn't come to you for help," you snap at him. "Do you know who was there every time I was puking my guts out, crying or screaming, or wanted pickles with peanut butter at 2AM? Who do you think was there for every appointment. Who bought fifty parenting and baby books to study religiously? It was Bucky. Even though I knew he was scared too, he was there. So, don't fucking try to make me and Bucky look like the bad guy. You have NOTHING to offer to Hazel."

Steve stood there wide-eyed, guilt crowding over his eyes. Steve doesn't want to say he regrets going back because that would mean a lifetime of regrets he can't get back.

"You're right," Steve said slowly, trying to appease your anger. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. It's not my place to say anything."

Even though Steve says it, he looks over to the little girl squealing in Bucky's arms. He looks at her blonde hair that she clearly got from him and your nose.

He and Peggy had children—children he loved more than anything.

But...the idea of his child with you...that was another reality he missed.

It seems to be that way always for him, Steve thought somberly. He was always missing something. Maybe you had been right about him.

Steve listens as you take a deep breath in and exhale.

"Do you want to meet her?" You offer, and Steve can tell it's difficult for you to say those words.

"If you're okay with it," Steve said slowly.

You nod stiffly. "It's fine as long as you respect my wishes and refrain from telling her you're her bio dad. I want to save that conversation for when she's older and able to understand it more."

You don't say it, but Steve is already thinking how he'll most likely be gone by then.

The two of you begin to walk towards Bucky and Hazel.

"What will you tell her?" Steve asked.

"The truth," you shrug. "That you were the world's greatest hero and you loved her and would've loved to get to know her if you stayed, but you didn't and it wasn't her fault."

"Right, it was mine," Steve felt a sting in the back of his throat.

"I don't think it was anyone's fault," you tell him. "It's just karma, Steve. I wasn't enough for you and now you're not enough for Hazel."

Right, Steve thought somberly as he looked at you in your summer dress. It was different from the sexy red one that used to drive him insane.

It was a calm peace, a show of your motherhood and graceful maturity.

This dress is karma, too.

[syiano]

Help I can't think of a good title

Avengers x Male!Reader

Marvel Preferences: They're Jealous and Want Your Attention

---------------------------

Steve gets a little defensive. He's scared of losing you, so he'll most likely go over to talk to you, though he can be a little awkward, and asks about the person you're talking to, trying his best not to sound so suspicious of them (but failing anyway). When you tease him about it, he won't be amused, not really taking any humor from it.

Bucky gets protective. He wants to be the one who makes you smile and laugh with, and he feels like someone is going to be that replacement for him. Bucky would warn them not to be too close to you, only for you to drag him away.

Tony gets ten times more sarcastic when you don't give him the attention he needs. He has no problem going to the person and kiss your cheek. He will literally tell the person, "Oh, hey Y/N. Looking good as usual- oh. Wait, I'm sorry, who are you again?" Or "Oh sorry. I didn't see you...you must be really uninteresting, huh?"

When you tell him that perhaps what he did wasn't necessary or comment on his jealousy, he will immediately doubt that he is, despite wrapping a hand around your waist and dragging you along with him.

Peter gets all pouty and becomes a little insecure when you don't give him the attention he wants. He doesn't want to make a scene or embarrass you, so he'll sit by himself and won't say anything. But you'll see him with puppy eyes from across the room staring at you, and he will grow slowly more immature, telling you that you needs your attention too.

(👆🏽His reaction lmao.) Bruce doesn't say anything at first, because he wants you to have your fun. But if the person starts lightly touching you or flirting with you too much, he will step in and question them. Honestly, he might say something that comes off as a hard insult, but will say it in a nice voice.

Scott becomes a mess, really. He tries his best to impress you to get your attention back, not really realizing how ridiculous he looks. Eventually, he does too much he ends up hurting himself, giving you no choice but to run to him and comfort him.

Thor's cheery demeanor is gone by the time someone flirts with you too much. He comes over and the person is immediately intimidated by him alone. He'll reccomend you being more close to him for a while.

Loki becomes really irritated. At first, he will start off with threatening glares at you two, impatiently tapping his foot so that he can get your attention. If that doesn't work, he'll even toss his knives around so that you'll come over to him and tell him to stop, and Loki will even go to farther lengths such as making himself look hurt just to have your attention again.

Other times, he'll prank the person out of jealousy and to scare them away from you, and then acting innocent when you would call him out and scold him for it.

Pietro doesn't care if he makes you mad because of the things he does to get your attention. He will use his powers to speed through the crowd so you'll see that blue glow to know he wants your attention. Sometimes, he'll even insult the person, not caring on rather or not he caused a scene, making you see how childish he can be.

[anonymousfiction211]

Handcuffed together 11: Expectations

A/N:

A few days later than origanlly planned, but here is the next chapter ;)

Word count: 2.065

Two weeks.

You were in the house with Thor for two weeks and still haven’t heard anything of the team. In those two weeks you had played every board game that was in the house with Thor. Watched a bunch of series and movies. Even got drunk one evening. If you thought that combat training with Thor was hard, combat training with Thor while having a major hang over was much worse.

Slowly losing your mind, you were getting on Thor’s nerves on purpose. Hoping he would let you out of the house, but he couldn’t be convinced. You tried to sneak out a few times, but he had caught you. Apparently growing up with a trickster brother, you learn a thing or two. With plenty of time to think about the whole situation you decided that you were mad at Loki, very mad. You knew he had arranged this, thinking it was the right thing. But he didn’t talk to you about it, he didn’t give you any choice or voice in this, that made you angry. You didn’t want a relationship where he would just make his own plans, without consulting you. Or that he would think it is okay to do whatever he wants.

Thor tried to defend Loki’s action, but even he had to admit that he understood your point of view. After that the two of you decided not to talk about it, trying to make the best of the whole situation. Halfway through the third week Thor got a call from Tony. The security system should keep out Thanos’ minions, tough not Thanos himself. There was half a plan, so the two of you could return back to the tower. Finally, you walked with Thor outside. Inhaling the fresh and warm air, you saw the jet with Natasha approaching. Looking around you asked Thor ‘So, where are we exactly?’

‘Some country called Italy’ he answered.

Your jaw dropped ‘I’ve been in Italy this WHOLE TIME. And weren’t able to see a thing?’ you yelled.

‘So, excited to see that boyfriend of yours. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he missed you terribly’ Natasha beamed.

On the flight back to Stark Tower

The flight home was long. Thor didn’t come with you and Natasha. He had some things to sort out on Asgard, regarding the Tesseract. Leaving you alone with Natasha. You sat down in the co-pilot seat, and watched Natasha fly for a while.

‘I- I don’t know’ you answered.

‘How come?’ she asked.

‘Seriously? Avoiding me, knocking me out and shipping me to Italy, without even talking to me comes to mind’ you angrily reacted.

‘Not the most tactical approach, but effective. I mean, it’s Loki. What did you expect? A heart to heart?’ she said.

‘Wow, thanks for your understanding’ you sarcastically reacted.

‘Come on, it took him literally attacking you to finally tell us everything that he went through and is still going through. And still he is extremely vague about it’ she answered. ‘The only reason he agreed to stay was if we got you out of there. Thor and I had to stop him thrice from leaving that night. I was exhausted’

‘He tried to leave?’ you didn’t think he actually was serious when he said that maybe he tried.

‘Almost succeeded, I might add’ she said.

The rest of the flight the two of you rode in silence.

‘Don’t tell me he left’ you said to Steve.

At Stark Tower

Entering Stark tower, you were greeted by the whole team, expect Loki. He was nowhere to be seen.

‘No, he didn’t. He just rarely leaves his room since it happened’ Steve said.

‘(Y/N), I think maybe we should talk’ Tony said to your surprise. He has been keeping a distance from you since you and Loki started to get involved with each other.

‘Not now’ Steve sighed to Tony.

You raised an eyebrow but nobody gave you an explanation. Not wanting to waist anymore time you left it at that, and went straight to Loki’s room. You knocked on the door.

‘Door is open’ you heard him say.

Entering his room, he emerged from his bathroom. He was shirtless and his hair was still wet. Resisting the urge to run into his arms, you closed the door and stood still in the room. When you looked at him many emotions surged through you. You had missed him, but you still felt betrayed and angry.

‘How could you?’ you asked, holding back your tears and anger.

Loki looked sad, maybe a bit guilty. ‘I had to’ he answered.

In your anger you made an energy ball and flung it at Loki. He dodged the ball by ducking down, making it disappear in the bathroom. You heard a loud crash and saw several bottle flying and breaking through. Now it was Loki’s turn to look angry and betrayed.

‘Darling, calm down. Let’s talk’ he said.

He took a step in your direction. The fact that he told you to calm down had the opposite effect. Shooting another ball, he redirected it towards the wall where his closet was. Clothes were falling out and the closet was damaged. Loki kept walking towards you, redirecting the balls you threw at him. His desk was split in half, the cushions on his bed were hit making feather fly across the room and the table was slightly burning. Loki got closer and closer, making you step backwards with your back against the door. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and pinned them above your head. Grabbing your chin harshly you hissed in pain.

‘You want to fight? Let’s fight’ he said angrily.

He released your chin and pulled you from the door. He pushed you towards the middle of the room. You attacked him by hand, but he blocked you easily. Punching you in your ribs, making you groan and bend over. Even tough it hurt slightly, you knew he was holding back. You tried to punch him in the face, but he dodged you making you spin around. Grabbing your hips from behind he holds you close to his back.

‘Pathetic’ he whispered in your ear.

Spinning around again you started to walk towards him, while trying to hit him. You tried to throw your punched as fast as you could, but he was faster. He blocked every attack you threw at him, but didn’t attack back. When he was almost with his back against the wall he sweeped your leg, making you fall on your back.

‘Improvement. Yes. Enough? No’ he said. You saw the mischievous look on his face, he was certainly enjoying your rage.

You made an unexpected move and kicked his legs out from under him. He fell down with a groan, wiping the smug smile from his face. You pinned yourself above him, your knees pinning the arms against his body. Grabbing his chin like he did earlier you growled ‘You can’t just decide and act like you do, without including me!’

Loki didn’t look fazed, he looked calm. A bit too calm for your liking.

‘I can when it is about your safety’ you heard him say from behind you. Two hands grabbed you by your waist and pulled you up. The Loki under you faded away and you started to struggle against the arms around you. He threw you on the bed, making feathers once again fill the room.

‘It’s been a while, but I’ll get you purring again kitten’ he suggestively said. Crashing his lips down on your before you could protest. He broke the kiss and started to trail his kisses down your neck, marking you like he did the first time. You cried out but he ignored you. You were still struggling against his grip and the weight of his body on yours.

‘Stop. You can’t just send me away and expect me to go back to you whenever you like’ you said angrily.

Loki stopped what he was doing and looked into your eyes with an intense gaze. ‘And you can’t expect me to be with you if my presence endangered the woman I love’ he growled. With a hand wave the both of you were naked. Your wrists were tied together above your head to the headboard of the bed. There was a large ball in your mouth, preventing you from speaking. The ball was connected with chains to clams on your nipples, forcing you to look down at Loki. When you tried to move your head you pulled on your nipples, making you moan and Loki smirk. He positioned himself between your legs and worked your clit with his tongue. Slowly circling it with the tip and licking it with the flat of his tongue. He maintained eye contact with you the whole time. Even tough you wanted to, you couldn’t look away.

Right before you orgasm hit you, he stopped. Groaning around the ball he just laughed. A paint brush appeared in his hand. With one hand he opened your folds, exposing your throbbing clit to him. With the other he started to stroke it with the brush. The feeling kept you on edge, but it was nowhere firm enough to topple you over. Your nipples started to hurt, so you had no other option than to watch Loki play with your body. In an attempt to come you bucked your hips to create more friction, but Loki made the brush disappear.

‘What is it, kitten?’ he taunted.

He made the ball in your mouth disappear, but kept the clams on. ‘Now?’ he said.

Totally out of breath you gasped for air a few times. ‘Please, fuck me’ you begged him.

‘Good girl’ he praised.

He entered you with his cock in on smooth motion. He started to thrust into you in a fast pace, hitting the exact right spot. You wrapped your legs around his waist. He started to leave open mouth kisses on your neck and mouth. One hand slowly trailed downwards and played with your sensitive clit. You came hard, clenching your walls around his cock. Loki groaned loudly and you felt his cock twitch and spill his seed in you. He thrusted sloppily a few times and collapsed on top of you.

He was heavy, but it made you feel secure. The restraints disappear and you wrapped your hands around his back. Loki popped up on his elbows but stayed on top of you.

‘I missed you terribly’ he whispered against your lips while kissing you.

‘I missed you too’ you said back.

‘I didn’t want to send you away, but I had no other choice. Darling, if I ever think I’m a danger to you.. I’m going to send you away. And I know you will hate me for it. But I’d rather have that than kill you’ he started to trail his tongue up and down your neck, biting you slightly to make you squirm. You felt his cock starting to erect again.

‘And if you can’t handle that, I suggest you leave now’ he whispered in your ear. You felt two fingers enter you and his thumb started to toy with your clit again. You tried to get away from the overstimulation, but Loki’s weight prevented you to. After a long-time having sex and cuddling with each other, even Loki was finally tired. You were completely exhausted. Still, he pulled you out of bed and sent you to your own room. After the mandatory shower there was a beautiful green dress on the bed. You put it on and found a note under the dress.

- See you at the roof – L

When you got out of the elevator you saw Loki. He was standing in a suit near beautiful set table with candles and roses. There was a bottle of wine in the cooler. It was dark and the lights of the buildings were beautiful to see. Loki smiled brightly when he saw you. Walking towards him he pulled a chair for you. When you set down you felt his lips against your ear. ‘I am not going to apologise, but will make it up to you for spending two weeks with my idiot brother’ he said while kissing your ear lobe. When he set down it was Steve who served you your first course. He winked at you ‘Just friends, hmm?’ he said.

Permanent tag list: @delightfulheartdream @the-best-phineas @pescadoavocado @theaudacitytowrite

Series tag list: @l0nelyasian @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @ragweed98 @thehornytitties @oh-my-gerd @morganmofresh @saiyanstars @rahne85 @charistory @not-your-bitch @kamrynnnnn