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theawkwardterrier · 4 years

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Fake It, Make It

A tropey Steggy Secret Santa gift for the excellent @sagesiren/@theeleganteuropeanwoman! Wishing you as good an end to 2020 as you can get, and an amazing 2021!! ✨✨✨

Summary: When Steve tells his mother that he is now dating a woman named Peggy Carter, his mother immediately wants to meet her. Which Steve would, of course, be perfectly happy to arrange, except that he is not in fact dating Peggy Carter (as much as he might want to be).

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Steve’s mother has been a nurse for thirty-three years. She’s familiar with the medical system and its limitations, and she’s a straight shooter even when it comes to her own mortality.

So when her doctor sends her for more tests after her annual physical, she mentions it to Steve during their weekly phone call.

“Dr. Nakhwa is worried,” she admits. “It’s bloodwork and scans now, but it might become something very quickly.”

“What can I do?” Steve asks, immediate and stricken. He had been trying to work on dinner as they talked, and his pot of water roils and hisses without answer.

“I’ll let you know if there’s anything,” she assures him practically, then sighs, quick and heartfelt and without drama. “But if it is something, I’ll just be so sorry for all the things in your life I’ll miss out on. Your first gallery show—”

“Ma,” Steve protests. No one knows his art better than she does - she signed him up for all the free afterschool art classes and every summer camp they could afford, and there are still paintings of his stored in her apartment a decade after he moved out - but he got his practicality from her, started training in carpentry on the recommendation of George Barnes back when he was a teenager and knew that there wouldn’t be money for college. He’s been able to do more custom woodworking lately and word has been getting around about his skill, but he’s accepted that he won’t be making his living off of the fine arts.

Undeterred, his mother says, “Oh, hush, even hobbyists can have dreams. But if you don’t like that, I’d be happy to see you in a relationship instead. It would ease my heart to know that you’ve found someone who can be beside you.”

And because easing his mother’s heart has always been at the top of his priority list, Steve finds himself blurting, “I’ve actually been dating someone. Now. I’m dating someone now.”

“Oh?” she says keenly. “Well, I hope to meet them someday soon.”

Steve coughs. “I’m sure you will.” He hopes that he’s somehow magically become a better liar in the past thirty seconds than he was for the first thirty years of his life.

Seemingly forgetting her earlier seriousness entirely, his mother adds, “What can you tell me about them? Can I have a name at least?”

“Peggy Carter,” Steve says without pause.

Later, he will ask himself why he didn’t just lie. It’s too soon, I don’t want to jinx anything. We made a bet and I’m not allowed to say her name out loud for a week. She’s a spy and I can only tell you her alias. He will berate himself for not just diving for some sort of distracting conversational offramp: the still-boiling pot, the cat yowling down in the alley, “that’s not important now, what else did your doctor say?” But he will never wonder why this was the name which came out of his mouth. He never has to search for it. She’s always on his mind these days.

“Peggy Carter,” his mother repeats. “Well, I’ll be happy to meet her. I’m off two Saturdays from now, if the two of you would like to drop by for a visit.”

His mother is the only blood family he has, that he’s ever even known. He’ll do anything for her. Even, apparently, say yes to this.

His mother’s follow-up scans come back clear. She tells him that in one breath, and tells him in the next that she’s so looking forward to meeting Peggy this upcoming Saturday.

“I don’t want to put this off until the next time I have a health scare,” she says. “And I could tell she’s important to you just by the way you said her name.”

So in his relief at her news, and to his later horror, instead of saying that he and Peggy have broken up, instead of saying that she has an emergency, instead of saying that she’s gone back to England indefinitely and they’ll just have to do it some other time, he says, “We’re looking forward to it to.”

When Steve confesses his predicament, Bucky laughs so hard that he slips off of his stool at Finnegan’s and almost knocks himself out on the bar.

“Could you at least help while you’re doing that?” Steve asks, torn between impatience and desperation, but his best friend just collapses into laughter again.

His mother already knows most of his friends. He supposes he could hire someone, but that seems like it might be taking it a step too far. And anyway, he’s overwhelmingly thankful that his mother is still healthy; it seems ungrateful, a temptation of fate, to give more weight and trickery to the lie.

Which means that there’s really only one thing left to do.

It doesn’t mean he’s relishing the prospect under the circumstances.

(Though he wouldn’t exactly be opposed to it under others.)

He asks Peggy Carter out for what’s probably the strangest date of her life and certainly the strangest of his on Monday, just as they’re finishing their lunch break. The rest of the crew, coolers over their shoulders, is already heading back over to the job site - Morita knocking his knuckles against that hideous brown hard hat of Dugan’s, Jacques explaining something as Gabe leans in - but Steve always does a quick sweep for trash just to make sure they’ve left the area clear. Peggy is heading in the other direction to track down Phillips. The boss is still legendarily prickly, but he doesn’t trust any architect but her these days.

“Peggy,” Steve forces himself to call before she’s disappeared. He wishes that this were just another one of those times that he had called her back for those innocuous, desperate five extra minutes of chatting. “I need to—Would you—Can I ask you a question? A favor, I guess?”

She tilts her head in invitation and he spills the story as quickly as he can, the rip-off-the-bandaid method.

“—and if you aren’t busy on Saturday, I was wondering if you could come over to say hi to her. It wouldn’t have to be for long, but it would make her really happy and I would—I’d really appreciate it. I can’t tell you how much.”

He stuffs his twisting hands into his pockets as he finishes, and pushes back his shoulders, hoping that he’ll still have a bit of dignity even once she’s rejected him. He doesn’t think she’ll be mean about it - he knows who Peggy is, the type of person to hand back hammers to the apprentices who’ve dropped them with a wordless wink, the type who lets someone else pick the takeout place if they’re having a bad day even when it’s her turn - but still, she’s Peggy Carter, and he’s Steve Rogers, the random guy who she knows from job sites and now the time he’d lied to his mother about dating her and then asked her to help him keep up the ruse.

“That certainly is a predicament,” she says instead of any of the gentle letdowns he was imagining. “But I must ask: why did you pick me?” It’s chilly today but bright, and the noon sun glints off her hair. He catches a smile, there and gone again, at the corners of her mouth.

“I said the first name that came into my head,” he tells her honestly, and then, just as honestly, “And I knew that my mother would like you, if you ever happened to meet each other.”

“Hmm,” says Peggy, smile all the way gone now, as if he’s disappointed her somehow. Her eyes are still soft, though. “Well, I suppose it’s quite lucky I am free on Saturday, then.”

“Lucky,” Steve echoes, and tries to figure out whether it’s true.

“You absolutely will not go out in this weather,” his mother admonishes, her arms set in a way that Steve is extremely familiar with.

“I’m certain that the subway—” Peggy starts.

“Of course the subway will be running,” Sarah says with the confidence of a born New Yorker. “Late and jam-packed, announcing that they’re going express any damn time, and there’s no reason for you to be on it.”

Peggy looks over to Steve as if he might step in, but even as he gives her a wide-eyed, helpless shrug, his mother is already leaving the living room and heading down the hall, calling, “I’ll get fresh sheets for you two, Steve, but please find Peggy something to wear.” (Sarah Rogers is surprisingly strong, but she’s also rail thin and an extremely charitable five foot two, and Peggy is...not. Something Steve has absolutely no complaints about, to be frank.)

They’ve told his mother that they’ve been seeing each other for nearly six months - Steve mostly left that part of the storytelling up to Peggy, who managed to spin something that had enough details to seem plausible but wasn’t so elaborate that Steve had felt bad about misleading his mother with a fairy tale. But even if their relationship was real, there’s no reason to assume that they would have spent the night with each other, that they would be comfortable sharing a bedroom.

“I’ll sleep out here,” Steve says immediately and with vehemence.

Peggy casts her eye over the couch, more of a loveseat really; the living room is too small for much else. “Will you be removing your head or your feet to fit, then?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Voice low to avoid his mother’s uncanny hearing, he says, “This whole day has already been more than you agreed to. I don’t want to force you into a situation that would make you uncomfortable.”

“I would say the same as it regards you,” she responds. “And if I was uncomfortable with the situation, I believe I would be the first to know. Now, I think I was promised something to sleep in?”

The collection of clothes he keeps at his mother’s is small, but he manages to dig up a large T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants for Peggy and the same for himself. She smiles at him, leaving to change, and he takes the opportunity to do the same before turning to put the sheets his mother had found on the beds, faced head-on with the reminder of the close quarters of his bedroom.

There isn’t much to see: his bed, the tiny closet, a dresser. He used to do his homework at the kitchen table because there wasn’t room for a desk. His bed frame had been a gift representing several birthdays and a Christmas as well, back in elementary school. Every other weekend, he would slide the trundle bed out, gleeful to finally have a chance to have sleepovers with Bucky somewhere other than in sleeping bags on the living room rug. The pull-out had used up all the extra floor space and he’d had to crawl off the end of the bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, but when he and Buck were telling each other scary stories quietly enough that his mother wouldn’t hear or reading comics under the covers, taking turns holding the shared flashlight, what had it mattered?

It definitely seems to matter now.

He stares at the two beds, tucked compactly side by side, and realizes that soon he and Peggy are going to be lying in them. Even if he pushes them as far apart as possible, it would be barely two inches before the dresser got in the way. No matter what, their hands could touch across that gap. If she’s a mobile sleeper, they could end up practically curled around one another…

He scrubs a hand vigorously over his face, mussing his hair and probably leaving him red-cheeked, but gathering himself. He makes both beds with care, returning to the linen closet to add top sheets, comforters, and light blankets too; he has no idea how Peggy likes to sleep.

The thought leaves him wide-eyed once again, but it’s too late to force his thoughts elsewhere. Peggy knocks just then, and he tells her to come in, hoping that his voice sounds normal as he does.

“I should have gotten you a toothbrush,” he says immediately upon seeing her, ready to scramble over and take care of it, but she waves a hand.

“Your mother gave me one. She also added my clothing to a basket of laundry she was taking downstairs so I would have ‘something fresh to wear in the morning.’ She wouldn’t hear any protests.”

As if she couldn’t have already figured it out from everything else today, Steve says, “She’s like that.”

“Yes,” Peggy says, thankfully amused. “I assumed.” She turns to the beds and asks, “Now, which would you like?”

Which one he’d like? He can’t think of anything that could matter less. He lists for her the pros and cons of each bed with the care usually reserved for life-changing decisions. She follows along seriously, though he recognizes the touch of humor around her mouth.

Ten minutes later, he is lying on the trundle, and she has her back to him as she examines the spines of the books on the small shelf mounted beside his bed.

She has washed her makeup off and her hair is in a single, simple braid. He’s heard the guys on the crew refer to certain women as “unbelievably beautiful.” Peggy isn’t that. She looks exactly as pretty right now as he had imagined she would, exactly as pretty as she does in her jeans and sensible blouse and Day-Glo vest on the construction site, or the time he had seen her dressed up in a gown for some awards gala, or when he had picked her up that morning and saw her wearing that red sweater with a black pencil skirt and felt lucky just to be walking next to her.

Still, he does find looking at her just now a bit hard. Difficult, he amends quickly, shoving the word hard away. She’s somewhat difficult to look at like this, unraveled and lovely.

“How fantastically minded you were,” she comments, smiling over her shoulder before flipping over to face him. “Is this still the sort of thing you like to read?”

“I usually end up with a bit of everything,” he admits. “But yeah, there’s some great sci-fi and fantasy being written these days.”

“It can be nice,” she says, “visiting other worlds.”

“It can be,” he agrees, not telling her that that’s what today has felt like: however awkwardly, unconventionally attained, it’s been like a brief, wonderful visit to another world.

They were only meant to stay for brunch.

“Don’t cook anything,” he had begged his mother. She was always covering shifts for other people, running errands for neighbors when she wasn’t working, on her feet all day regardless. Having a day off where she hadn’t already scheduled sixteen things was something of a miracle, and he was going to force her to take advantage of it. “I’ll cook.”

Voice somewhat insultingly skeptical down the phone, she’d said, “So, do you already know that this woman has a cast-iron stomach, or are you looking to poison a guest in my home, Steven Rogers?”

In the end, they’d agreed that he would take care of picking up fresh bagels from their favorite place. Of course, when Steve and Peggy arrived, his mother had already set out lox, cut fruit and vegetables, hard boiled eggs, and about six different types of cream cheese.

“You promised not to make anything,” Steve said irritably, giving his mother a hug.

“I promised not to cook,” she corrected. “Boiling a few eggs isn’t cooking. Even you can do that, after all.” And Peggy laughed from beside Steve and stepped forward to introduce herself.

Steve had promised Peggy that they wouldn’t stay longer than a couple of hours, and so at exactly 1:30 he glanced noticeably at his watch and asked if she needed to go to “that other thing you had scheduled.”

“Thankfully not,” she smiled, finishing her piece of crumb cake (his mother swore she just happened to have it left over). “I postponed it, and I’m certainly happy that I did.”

And despite the situation, Steve was happy too - happy that she’d come, happy that she stayed. She and his mother traded stories about their respective jobs, lamenting that even though they were of different generations and worked in completely different fields, one with women as the majority and one with them in the minority, they had so many of the same experiences: dealing with stressed or snappish or condescending people, having their knowledge and authority questioned, and managing to get enormous, important work done skillfully anyway.

“I still love it,” Peggy had said as they moved from the kitchen table to the living room. (Steve barely thought about taking the seat beside Peggy, and then started overthinking why he hadn’t considered more.) “Despite everything, I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” said Sarah, voice already fond, as if she’s known Peggy more than a few hours. “I wouldn’t either.”

They’d talked about how Steve had taken shop class in high school - a few knickknacks he’d made were even still scattered around the apartment for his mother to show off; when she’d passed one over to him, even though he recognized its amateurishness, he felt a tenderness fill him, as if he was holding the hand of a younger version of himself. When he passed it to Peggy, he felt the gentleness of her hand on it too.

Later, he would realize that it was a bit suspicious for him to talk about how he’d gone from an A- in Shop to a carpentry apprenticeship to starting to work with Phillips’s general contracting company: surely if they had truly been dating, they would have talked about it all at some point before. But in the moment all he saw was the flicker in her eye as she told him that, oh, she certainly remembered his first day working with the crew.

It wasn’t that they didn’t notice the weather turning - the first flakes fell as the light began dimming low and gray toward evening - it was only that they were a bit busy making hot drinks and setting up the Trivial Pursuit board. This was probably how Steve would have been spending his afternoon regardless, but he watched Peggy carefully for signs that she was eager for an escape and simply too polite to say so. He even leaned over when his mother excused herself briefly and asked whether she was sure she still wanted to stay, to which she had responded, “I’ll almost certainly have my sports and leisure wedge after my next turn. Why in the world would I leave?”

When Steve went downstairs to retrieve the Thai takeout they had ordered, he did see that it was getting pretty messy outside. The wind had a bite to it, too, so he gave his order of miso soup to the man who’d delivered the food alongside the tip, and decided to see if there was an extra pair of boots around for Peggy to use later.

But after they’d finished with their dinner and watching The Sound of Music, which had been just starting as they’d flipped through TV channels, his mother had turned to the nine o’clock news, saw how hard the snow was coming down, and refused to be persuaded that a change in footwear would be enough. Truthfully, Steve would probably have stayed without question if he had been by himself, but the fact is that he came with Peggy. Peggy, who had stayed long past the anticipated two hours. Peggy, who he was not actually dating. Peggy, who he was now meant to sleep beside.

“I’m sorry for the early night,” he apologizes again as they lie together in the darkness with the radiator hissing slightly. Not realizing how things would turn out today, he had scheduled a 9 A.M. consult with a couple who were looking to have some built-in bookshelves added and he has be up early enough to bring Peggy home and get back to his apartment to change before heading into Manhattan.

“It’s no trouble,” she assures him again. “There’s nothing at all the matter with getting a good night’s rest.”

“And I’m sorry again about everything. About how today turned out, and for getting you into it into the first place.”

“Oh Steve,” she sighs. “Will you shut up about that, please?” and even though her tone lacks sharpness, the words are enough for him to flip over toward her in surprise. “I truly enjoyed myself today. And I would have come even if you had simply asked me without any sort of exceptional circumstances.”

“What do you—?”

“I liked meeting your mother. She’s nothing at all like mine, which perhaps is why I appreciate her so much. I liked sitting around and talking, playing games and eating good food and singing along with Julie Andrews, and I liked spending time with you.” Her voice dips even softer. “I liked it all, and I would have come anyway, if you had only asked.”

With the cloud cover and the snow still coming down, the window lets in little light. He can’t make out her expression, can’t see if she’s just saying things out of tiredness, or reminiscing about a pleasant afternoon, or if she might just be hinting at something which would justify the elevated beating of his heart.

He nearly thanks her for being a good friend, but somehow, the way that she’s turned onto her side to face him as well, an invitation, makes him breathe in and say, “But you’re Peggy Carter. I don’t know why you would have bothered.”

“Is that what you think of me?” she asks. He’s never heard her voice with that twisting edge to it and it takes a moment for him to recognize it: hurt. “That I’m some high and mighty miss, and I would never deign to even look at the likes of you?”

“No!” he says, not frantic, hard and simple and factual, trying to make her see. “It’s just that you’re Peggy Carter,” he repeats. “There are probably a dozen awards on your shelves. I’ve seen you skewer guys with a half dozen words for propositioning you, then get right back to work. Phillips doesn’t like anyone except his dog, but he turns down projects if you aren’t going to be working on them. You wanted to design buildings and you made that happen for yourself. You’ve worked on dozens of projects and they’re all different but I’ve wanted to stay in each one, even the offices.” His voice doesn’t drop as he continues, even as he half hopes that his words will be lost in the pillow beneath his head. “You’re creative and determined and gorgeous and fascinating and funny. Just talking to you should be any thinking person’s favorite thing. And I’m only a guy.”

She inhales deeply through her nose, as if she is trying to keep her temper somehow, but when she speaks, her voice is calm. “When there are novices on a job, you’re the one who helps them through their nerves and shows them the right way to do things. Other women have told me that they like to work on the same site as you because they know you would never make them uncomfortable and you’ve fought anyone who tried. After an evening out, you give your share of the tip and then stay behind and add a bit extra. You do it every time, Steve. I’ve watched you.”

“Anyone could—”

“The first day I met you,” she interrupts, “you introduced yourself to Mr. Jarvis. Most people don’t, you know. They’re too busy noticing Howard to even pay attention. The day after, you brought soup for Ana because you had heard she was ill. I don’t know anyone else who would have done that, bring soup for someone who he’d never met, the wife of the electrician’s admin he’d only known for a day.” Even with the hiss and clank of the heating, he thinks he can make out every dimension of the breath she takes in before she adds, low and direct, “You’re loyal and sharp and kind, you make wonderful art and adore your mother, and you’re so upstandingly moral I half expect you to ride into work one day on a white steed. Had you not kept moving away every time I tried to get near, I would have asked you out long ago. And if you had asked me all the way back then, before I knew anything else, I would have said yes too, just because of the soup.”

It’s been three years since he started working with Phillips, three years of watching from across construction zones as she cut stubborn men down to size with a sharp word (or her fist if necessary), of lingering at lunch for the chance to see her smile or hear her opinion on current affairs or some article that they had both read. All that time of thinking that she would never possibly consider him more than a friend, and she already had.

“Can I—” he starts, his hand moving tentatively into the tiny space between their beds. She catches his fingers with hers and lifts them to her mouth, placing a delicate kiss on the backs of his knuckles. His breath comes sharply into his lungs.

He has, a time or two thousand, pictured some imaginary world where she might kiss him one day. This isn’t at all how he envisioned it in any of those dreams - they were never in side-by-side twin beds at his mother’s house, for one thing.

Nothing in him cares.

When she says goodbye to him the next morning, his mother gives him an innocent smile and a reminder to drop by a Duane Reade for chapstick and...anything else they might need. He almost tells her that they were only kissing, but doesn’t think it will help. Besides, he was trying to avoid embarrassing details by stripping the beds before she woke up so she wouldn’t notice that the sheets had only been truly mussed on one.

(He wouldn’t have been expecting that sleeping in a narrow bed with Peggy half sprawled on top of him would be wonderful, but he’ll be the first to admit that he isn’t right about everything.)

Exactly fifty-one weeks later, his mother asks him how he and Peggy are celebrating their anniversary. He’s halfway through telling her before he realizes that she’s not supposed to know that it’s their anniversary at all, that she’s still meant to think they’ve been together a year and a half already.

“As if you’ve been able to lie to me once in your life, Steven Rogers,” she says with a laugh. “You said her name and I knew that you weren’t telling me the whole truth the same moment I knew that she meant something to you anyway. Now tell me about the ring.”

“How did you—?”

He has the feeling she’s waving a dismissive hand on her end of the phone. “Nothing in the world easier than reading you, sweetheart.” Her tone turns a bit thoughtful. “Peggy, on the other hand, she’s a bit harder. But even that first time you brought her here, I could tell. When the time comes for you to ask, she’ll say yes.”

She’s right.

#steggysecretsanta #Steggy fic #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #sagesiren

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ao3feed-stucky · 5 years

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by FlamingoQueen

After another few minutes, Steve stops humming, sits up and frowns. “What is that?” he asks. “The one you got stuck in my head. I know it but I can’t place it.”

“Monty Python,” Bucky grunts. Thwack goes the rock, not missing a beat. “Lumberjack song.” Thwack. “Seemed appropriate.”

“Yeah?”

Bucky stands upright with a wince and a groan, leaving the wedge where it is, but letting the rock drop to the ferns at his feet. “Well, I’m a fucking prehistoric lumberjack, Steve, and I am okay.” He runs a forearm across his brow and turns to face him, careful not to get his feet tangled up in the smaller branches and spent wedges littering his work area.

“I’m more than okay,” he adds, no evidence in his voice of anything beyond playful boasting and a hint of breathlessness from exertion, though Steve knows he’s got to be hurting. “I am the shit.”

(Or: Steve and Bucky do some prehistoric carpentry.)

Words: 5625, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 7 of Fossilized

Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: Vacation, Time Travel, Dinosaurs, Pine Trees, Established Relationship, Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, (it's pronounced "coping mechanisms"), Steve Rogers Has Issues, (also pronounced "coping mechanisms"), Crack Treated Seriously, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Needless Risk Taking, No one gets hurt, This is still Happy Steve after all, Singing, Mentions of Elvis Presley Songs, Crooning Bucky Barnes, uwu Steve Rogers, Protect the knives, Bucky hates the Beach Boys, or does he?, Prehistoric lumberjack super soldiers, To build a raft

#Bucky #AO3 works tagged 'James Barnes/Steve Rogers'#ao3feed #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #c

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nancykali · 6 years

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Stranger Things young adults - lesser known things about them

Jonathan Byers is known for being into rock, alternative, and experimental music, and his photography. But what most don’t know about him is he also loves working with his hands—just not to commit violence, like his dad wanted him to. His mom taught him sewing years before Lonnie made him go out into the woods and shoot a gun. He loved building Castle Byers with Will, even though they had to work in the rain. When he was younger he made hemp bracelets for his parents and for Will, but it made Lonnie so angry and disdainful toward him that Jonathan never made anything that could be jewelry after that. He loves gardening, and helped his mom with a small herb garden before they had to move out of Lonnie’s place and Joyce had to work far more hours. He helped her dig the fire pit in their backyard when he was 13, and before getting a part-time job, was able to keep up a small vegetable garden Joyce helped him start. He loves doing carpentry with Steve, and after February 1984 he makes hemp bracelets for both Steve and Nancy. Nancy makes several with him, and on El’s fourteen birthday she and Jonathan each make one for El. Eventually the whole party is wearing bracelets Jonathan, Nancy, and El made for them. A couple years into dating Nancy and Steve, they both encourage him to do a pottery class with them, and Jonathan has the time of his life. The house they all own together nearly a decade later is decorated with Jonathan’s pottery, and a lot of the wood furniture was crafted by Jonathan, or Jonathan and Steve together. And of course Jonathan is in charge of which flowers and vegetables get planted in their yard, when and where, because he knows the most about it.

Nancy Wheeler took ballet until she was thirteen years old, and she ran track in middle school. Her mother and some of her female friends at the time discouraged her from continuing track in high school, so she didn’t. She never got back into ballet because she thought she was too out of shape, and honestly would’ve rather continued with track, if she’d been given the choice. But when her mother gave her the choice of getting rid of her old ballet shoes, Nancy let her do it, and resolved she wouldn’t go back to ballet if she couldn’t be on the high school girls track team either. But when she was closer friends with Jonathan and Steve in middle school (and before) she loved to race them on the track, and she won the majority of the time. She never was a show off, and outwardly very humble, but secretly she was proud of herself for beating the boys. Neither Steve nor Jonathan ever made her feel bad for beating them either. The first time she beat Steve in a race, he’d been so surprised and said several times how that shouldn’t have been possible because he was taller than her. Jonathan and Nancy teased him into a rematch, and Nancy still won. From then on Steve never said anything derogatory about Nancy beating him. Later in their lives, Nancy continues to prove her endurance in other ways. She has a high pain tolerance, can be sleep deprived the longest, and is the only one to run marathons for fun. She also has the sharpest aim with a gun (even superior to Kali).

Steve Harrington didn’t know how to swim until he was eleven years old, and Jonathan and Nancy had to teach him. It was the summer before his sixth grade year, and Nancy and Jonathan’s fifth grade year. They were all hanging out at one of the lakes, Karen their chaperone, with six year olds Mike and Will there too. Steve was extremely embarrassed that he couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t admit it until Nancy and Jonathan encouraged him to come swim with them. He’d planned to just stay on shore helping Karen with Mike and Will, and helping set up roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, but Nancy and Jonathan would not let him stay on shore until he finally confessed the truth, whispering so Karen and the two younger boys didn’t hear. Nancy and Jonathan were surprised but understanding, and Nancy yelled to Karen that they were going to walk through the woods for a bit, and Karen just told them to be back before sundown. On a more secluded stretch of beach Jonathan and Nancy taught Steve how to swim. And Steve takes to the water like nobody’s business - within a couple hours he’s swimming like it was second nature to him. Neither Jonathan nor Nancy are surprised when Steve takes a lifeguard job in summer of 1984, and every summer after until the three of them move out of Hawkins together. When he doesn’t have the time to be a lifeguard, he still goes swimming at the indoor pool just for exercise.

Kali Prasad has many secrets, so really everything about her is lesser-known by her small group of friends. She’s a survivalist with leadership skills and remarkable creativity because of living a dangerous, precarious existence nearly her entire life. Every day had been a test of endurance, necessitating taking calculated risks and coming up with solutions to live through another day, mentally and physically. Kali doesn’t discover her more leisurely interests until she’s well into her teens. She loves Star Trek. She likes drawing, but it will be several years before she discovers the particular art associated with tattooing. She entertains the idea of becoming an engineer for a long time, but even then that’s a far off dream, in a universe where the remnants of the lab are no longer a danger to her. She likes singing, but has never performed or touched an instrument. After dating Nancy for four months, her girlfriend gifts her a sketchbook. She helps Steve fix up motorcycles just for fun. She learns how to shoot different firearms alongside Nancy. She shares art ideas with Jonathan. And she and El discover a lot of their interests together; painting, watching dramas, reading fantasy and science fiction and literature focusing on women. El and Nancy’s first trip alongside Kali back to Chicago involves graffiting and Kali and El visit a tattoo parlor to explore the idea of getting their wrist tattoos covered. Only then does Kali really acknowledge her passion for art becoming something she could explore, rather than just a fun pastime.

#stranger things #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #jonathan byers #kali prasad #stoncy x kalancy #el hopper #jane el hopper #my writing

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ornament-of-rhyme · 6 years

Note

Hi! I read your Spazkins fanfictions and I think they're really adorable! Can you perhaps give us some headcanons about them?

Hi there! Despite what it may seem,considering how long it’s taken me to reply to you, I am goddamnstoked that you asked about this! (I am so sorry to keep you waiting,though.) Thank you for asking, and thank you very much for reading mystories. I’m happy you liked them.

As the length of this post can attest,I have a lot of feelings about these characters to share with anyonewho will listen, but I must confess that many of my headcanonsdevelop during the writing process. Seeing as I’ve only written acouple of short fics for this pair, I still haven’t developed myversion of them as much as I would like. However, I do have someheadcanons, both for these characters as individuals and as a couple.It’s entirely possible they’re not exactly interesting HCs,but they help me flesh out the characters as I continue working withthem.

Before I go on, I want to take a moment to state that these are only headcanons, interpretations, and observations, not things that I am trying to present as fact or push into fanon. I’m just having too much fun with these characters.

Since you read my stories youalready know, but for anyone else who stumbles upon this, when Iwrite these characters I use the names Gilbert “Gil” Braun akaSpaz, and Edwin "Eddie/Ed” Hopkins. I’m also throwing in a fewheadcanons about another background character in the film, listed inthe credits simply as Stick, though I call him Norman “Norm”James. In my mind, he’s Gil’s best friend, so he’s relevant toSpazkins in that way.

This cutie is Stick, by theway:

Now, on to the headcanons! Hopefully Ican put them in some sort of coherent order. (Note from future Orn:This post oscillates between being a disorganized essay and a list, but hopefully it’s intelligibleanyhow!)

I’ll start with Gil and Norm, seeing asI headcanon them as having known each other the longest out of thesethree. In fact, I like to think Norm was Gil’s first friend atWelton.Norm was given the nickname Stick by his peers becausehe is the smallest kid in their year. Seriously, look at the guy.

Stick indeed.

I began to associate him with Spazbecause the two of them are seen with the Poets multiple times in thefilm—including at meals, where they are the only two non-Poets atthat table. I imagine they have complementary personalities, and werefast friends because of it. Likely they were drawn to each otherbecause of the things people think are odd about them; namely, Gilhaving health problems and Norm being small and thin. I headcanonthat Gil and Norm are able to bond over being avid readers of sci-finovels and pulp fiction, and once they’re out of school they becomeequally eager viewers of The Twilight Zone. (The latter, Edwin findshimself enjoying as well.)

In my mind, Norm is related in some wayto Nolan. Grandfather, uncle—I don’t know how yet, but I amdetermined to work this into one of my future stories. Due to hisrelationship to the dean, he isn’t bullied like Gil, but he is teasedon occasion, as most boys know he isn’t the type to tell Nolan. (It’snot like he’s overly fond of the man, either.) The teasing he gets isnot as rude as that which Gil has received. But after a number ofyears at Welton, someone came along who did much to stomp out theworst of the bullying on Gil’s behalf…

Two years before the events of thefilm, Edwin Hopkins enrolled in Welton Academy and was assigned adorm room with Gilbert. It was tense at first, with Gil unsure how tointeract with someone so aloof and, according to how Edwin presentedhimself to his peers, apathetic. However, they slowly built up acompanionable relationship when Edwin began to take it upon himselfto blandly intimidate or retaliate against those who teased orbullied Gilbert. Edwin wouldn’t react violently, or even loudly, buthe knew how to get people to knock it off, if only temporarily.

At first, Edwin was taken in by Gil’smore awkward, innocent demeanor and became protective of him becauseof it, while Gil’s feelings developed as he floundered in surprisethat he is being defended by someone he would have expected topartake in the bullying. They started speaking more in their room,and their friendship developed from there.

After Edwin madeit known to others that Gilbert was under his wing, so to speak, thebullying generally eased into lighter teasing. Though it remained anissue for Gil, his time at Welton improved significantly with thischange.

And while Edwin is something of aguardian angel to Gil, Gil pulls his weight in the friendship.Gilbert is the voice of reason, the wiser mind, of the two boys. Heknows how to get Edwin to listen, to stop and think before doingsomething reckless or impulsive. He also takes care of Edwin in hisown ways; he makes sure Edwin is awake in the morning and doesn’tmiss breakfast, offers help with homework, puts in an effort to cheerEd up if he is brooding, and so on.

Edwin is surprisinglythoughtful when it comes to Gil’s needs as well. As I wrote in TheSickly and the Meathead, he even thinks to tell Gil where he’sputting aside his glasses, that way he doesn’t have to blindly searchfor them. This is because when it comes to something he cares about,Edwin is quite detail-oriented. This is also the case with hisinterest in carpentry (touched upon in Safe in the Boughs, as well aslater in this post.) He considers the little things, and he thinksahead. Along that same line, Edwin checks in with Gilbert to makesure he doesn’t miss any doses of medication. He does it so casually,one would think he’d been doing it for years. Gil might be puttingaway his clothes as Edwin works at his desk, and without turningaround Ed asks if he remembered to take his medicine. Gil says yes,because of course he remembered, Ed grunts in acknowledgment, andthat’s that. Gil thinks it’s sweet.

Another way Edwin expresses hisaffection is through gifts, and the best example of this is TheBlanket of ‘58. See, Gil has two more blankets on his bed than theother boys, but they don’t hold in heat well enough for him. Knowingthis, in late November of his second year at Welton, Edwin gives Gila heavy crochet blanket as an early Christmas present. His motherbegan working on the blanket the previous winter after Edwin wrylycommented that his roommate was likely to freeze to death during oneof the cold winter nights at Welton. Despite his typical stoicism,she saw his fondness for Gilbert early on and was eager to make ablanket for this friend who mattered enough to Edwin to be mentionedoutside the context of sports and class. Later, Gil’s mother wouldexpress her thanks to Mrs. Hopkins by inviting their family todinner, where the parents hit it off. It is this meeting thatinitiated the friendship between the Hopkins and Braun families.

Above all, Eddie is a man of actionover words, and thus it is through his actions that he mostfrequently expresses his affections. Touches, kisses, favors—whetherrequested or not—he makes it known to Gil how he feels. And hisfeelings can run deep, especially where Gilbert is concerned. Even ashe threw himself into building their tree house (featured in Safe inthe Boughs), Edwin more than once indulged in idea of one day havinga real house to share with Gilbert.

All that said, it isn’t entirelyunheard of for Edwin to verbally express his feelings to Gil. Termsof endearment they’ve come to use are simply “baby” (Edwinaddresses Gil as such, though it is in private and not too frequent)and “Eddie.” Edwin’s pals at Welton often refer to him asEddie, too, but he finds that Gil’s voice can make it ring with sucha level of emotional intimacy that it may as well be an entirelydifferent name.

Kissing was a bit difficult for them atfirst. It took the two of them a while to get used to heavy kissingdue to Gil’s braces, but eventually they learned how to work aroundit. Another problem that occasionally crops up is that Edwin is verygood at taking Gil’s breath away, and as nice as that sounds, Gilneeds as much as he can get because, of course, he suffers from SteveRogers Syndrome. That is to say, his medical records are expansive,but he’s not on the verge of death. He is even able to participate insports at Welton, but is given much leniency. Chess and croquet aremore his deal.

Alright, I feel like this would be agood time to talk about their hobbies and other activities.

I believe Hopkins may canonicallybe captain of the soccer team. Though if this is the case, why did heflub his kick in the poetry/soccer exercise? To joke around? I don’tknow. My jury’s out on this one, but I think it’s interesting. I’mmostly basing this theory on the shirt he wears in these scenes:

I don’t know a dingle damn thing about sport ball, but I’m pretty sure that shirt denotes something important.

(Along a similar vein, though it isn’tnecessarily relevant to this post, I believe Keating may be thecoach. He even has a history with soccer. According to his schoolannual, he was the captain of his soccer team for a bit.)

Along with soccer,I have a headcanon that Edwin has a passion for carpentry! It beganwhen, as a child, he was told that Jesus Christ had been a carpenter.Thinking that was rad as fuck, Ed took a strong interest in it. Eventhough his faith grew weaker over the years, he maintained his lovefor carpentry independently of that.

General aloofnessaside, Edwin also likes to joke around with and show off in front ofhis friends. He’s even willing to do so in front of authority figuresif he thinks he can get away with it. Though he doesn’t strike me as someonewho brazenly defies authority when he knows it will end inpunishment. Keating in particular has proven he is willing to put upwith Ed’s dumb shenanigans—though, as is shown in the movie, hedoesn’t appreciate or reward them. I agree with Keating’s jabs at thestunts he pulls. They’re not just disruptive, they’re lazy. I like toimagine that the laziness of the jokes is more of a bother to Keatingthan the fact that they’re happening in the middle of class.

As for Gil’spreferred activities, he is a pianist. The organ player at Weltonpicked up on his interest in the instrument, and offered to teachhim. Gil agreed, and discovered he enjoyed it. As he pursued theactivity outside of Welton, his family was able to procure a pianofor their home on which he continued to practice. He also enjoysbird-watching. (With this in mind, Edwin gives him a new pair ofbinoculars for his birthday one year. He doesn’t get the appeal ofthe activity, but Gil lights up when he talks about the birds, so Edhas no qualms humoring him.) And as I said before, Gil has fungeeking out with Norm over sci-fi.

Now for some stragglers:

-Gilbert’s fatherreminds me of George McFly. That’s all I have to say about that.

-Gilbert’smedications are kept in Hager’s office, so Gil has to visit him inthe morning and before bed to take his medicine.

-I can’t tell forsure if it’s true to life, but I like to imagine that Gil is tallerthan Ed.

-Edwinloves the silkiness of Gil’s hair, and Gil likes to card his fingersthrough Ed’s shorter 'do. And, though he doesn’t appreciate the cause,Ed thinks Gil’s consistently red nose is adorable.

-Edwin’s friendsat school are not a tight-knight group. Notice that as he smugly readhis Truly Great poem The Cat Sat On The Mat (coming to a poetry slam near you), Hopkins was looking for the reactions of some of the boys around his own desk. None of these boysstood at the end of the film. Not saying this is canon, but it makessense to me.

-Gil’smother embroiders handkerchiefs before gifting them to him. Some aremonogrammed, others are only patterns or simple images. He sometimesfinds it embarrassing, but she puts so much love into herembellishments that he has never spoken a word of dissent.

-And finally, if you manage to catch agood look at Hopkins in the film, he has some birthmarks on hisface–small indentations on the left side near his hairline, and aline coming off the outer edge of his right brow. Wait, I have ascreencap for this one, too!

Sometimeshe’s asked if they’re scars and what caused them, and just for kickshe comes up with a different answer each time. He doesn’t care thatpeople notice, and isn’t particularly self-conscious about them. Moreoften than not he only remembers they exist when Gil gathers theinitiative to press his lips to them.

And that’s my current lot of Spazkins headcanons!

Thankyou again for asking, iamidentical. Your question not only helped me think more complexly about these characters, but it also led to a new idea for a Spazkins fic. It felt good to share thesethoughts with you.

#iamidentical #spazkins #spaz #spaz (dead poets society)#hopkins (dead poets society)#headcanon #my headcanon #my writing #dead poets society #dps #ask #mine #rambling definitely escaped the tags on this one #i'm so sorry #bless any and all who actually read this whole thing #dps headcanon #this is why tag clouds are actually useful #i don't know what my main tags are anymore

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hardestgrove · 2 years

Text

CURRENT OC SITUATION:

bios for the kings (Adam, Christina, Emily, Jackson, David, Stacy, Alison): HERE

Jodi Pierce: same year as nancy + jonathan. was friends with benefits with billy until he got his shit together and got with [preferred partner for billy here]. they're still friends bc she's literally is only one lol. very style forward. socially mobile and well liked without really belonging anywhere. new wave, funk and proto-indie. likes the muppets, puppets and animatronics and makes puppets of her own for comedy shit. dates robin. finds out she and eddie are half siblings bc her mom had an affair w/ his dad pre-3 bc her mom has a crisis about them being in the same grade now. it's a mess but they're working on it.

Shannon Harrington: roughly nancy's age. steve's younger sister. she's also very popular and extremely funny. she's on the volleyball and cheerleading teams. she's a loud pain in the ass and deeply weird when you actually know her. she's Peak annoying younger sister. still considers steve probably her best friend bc he's the only one who actually knows her and still likes her. she is a tinkerbell who will die without attention and her entire outward personality is geared to ensuring attention. also has like no filter, no shame and says wild shit so often. pop music fiend.

Rhiannon Hargrove: nancy's age. billy's younger biological sister. named after the fleetwood mac song and hates it. is one of those memes of someone who looks sweet and nice that has the subtitle of something like "i'm about to fucking lose it". she and billy pretty co-dependent and rhia's life is heavily controlled by neil and billy tho for different reasons. trying to make this new family shit work but people are Testing Her. can be just as shitty as billy but is usually better at reigning her anger in for the most part (or really she just lets it stew until she Snaps lol rip). a little pop-y and little boho. she and chrissy would get on except that rhia would snap jason's spine over her fucking knee in 0.0005 secs of meeting him so lol. takes after their mother a lot in looks and personality, not sure how she feels about that since she's not a fan of her as much as billy still is. still tries to fight back against neil when he gets physical about 50% of the time, usually when he's going after billy.

Richard Brandon Mayfield: goes by his middle name brandon bc he hates richard. is about 14-15 when they move to hawkins. he's the epitome of the DW "this sign can't stop me because i can't read!" meme. he's a dipshit and he means business. literally all the other siblings are smarter than him but he doesn't give a shit and it's not a thing for him. he's gay and he's so aggressively average about it. like he just is what he is and like ???? that's it???? doesn't think their dad is as cool as max does. deadass tries to go toe to toe with neil every. single. time. you cannot TELL this child otherwise. he is a fratboy and an idiot and he could be 100000% shifaced and never get your pronouns wrong even tho he doesn't get SHIT about what ur talking about. he's gonna go to trade school after hs for carpentry. he and will get together at some point lol.

#ocs #jodi pierce #rhiannon hargrove #brandon mayfield #shannon harrington

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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years

Text

ONE PROBLEM WITH SAYING THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GOOD, THAT WOULD BE THE ANSWER

But Google pushed this idea further than anyone had before. The CEO of that company, the next Steve Jobs, but he may be the best writer among Silicon Valley CEOs. But interesting, and finished fairly quickly. The syntax of the language. I unconsciously lumped reading together with work like carpentry, where having to do something, as Nike says, just do it. The meaning of interest can vary. Don't be discouraged if what you produce initially is something other people dismiss as a toy. An eminent Lisp hacker told me that his copy of CLTL falls open to the section format. All we have to choose between several alternatives, there's an upper bound on your performance: choosing the best every time. Code is not something they assemble painstakingly after careful planning, like the popular image of the visionary is someone with a clear view of the future, it will make a very big difference to the bottom line how many users make a critical mass? That could be a useful language feature.

A round as a series A round for, say, making the language strongly typed. I call the Fluff Principle: on a user-voted news site, the links that are easiest to judge will take over unless you take specific measures to prevent it. But he wouldn't have to. C was the scripting language of Tk. Programming languages don't exist in isolation. Moore's Law is not as good as the old one. The tricky part is, you can at least move in that direction. I wouldn't be surprised if at any given time get away with changing more than you actually are. To many people, Lisp is a natural fit for server-based applications also give us the answer to this question, at least successful ones, tend to be short. One would like to be sure signs of bad algorithms. Instead of asking what problem should I solve? If we can develop a new Lisp that is a meaningful test, in practice, the way to get a big program is to start with deceptively small things.

You don't have to argue simply that there are or aren't standards of taste. Before Google, companies in Silicon Valley. When someone is obviously pandering to an audience that's easily fooled, whether it's someone making shiny stuff to impress would-be successors both directly, as Roger Bannister did, by lodging the idea in users' minds that a single person could unroll the future for them. When Lisp was first invented, all these ideas were far removed from ordinary programming practice, which was dictated largely by the hardware available in the late 1950s, it was New York. The difference is that wise means one has a high average may help support high peaks. It can be either a compliment or an insult. The most important part of design is redesign. The best ideas are just on the right side of impossible. Good runners still get tired; they just get tired at higher speeds. And what we do. Those in a position to discover valuable types of fixable brokenness first. And then of course there are the more sinister mutations, like linkjacking—posting a paraphrase of someone else's article and submitting that instead of the original.

It might even be possible to write a serious program using only the built-in Common Lisp. It might not be your dream job, but you're not idle. There are sources of error in your own judgements. And if it's not impossible but simply very hard, it might be better to follow the model of Tcl, and supply the Lisp together with a complete system for supporting server-based applications. Brevity is always attractive to hackers, a language must be good for writing the kinds of programs they want to write. There are two major types of problems—wisdom to human problems and intelligence to abstract ones. And the reason is the horribleness of cable clients, also known as TVs. Email is not a massively popular system. Start by writing a Basic interpreter for a machine with a few thousand users. It will be worth making i/o fast. And schleps should be dealt with the same way that mathematicians and modernist architects are lazy: they hate anything extraneous. I don't think fast code comes primarily from things you do in the design of the language, and to allow programmers to use inline byte code if you need to be replacements for campus social life and oddly enough, YC even has aspects of that.

I have by now internalized doesn't even know where to begin in raising objections to this project. I've read Villehardouin's chronicle of the Fourth Crusade at least two times, maybe three. Too lazy to walk, ya fuckin homo? You'll notice we haven't funded any biotech startups. Which means it is very much worth reading important books multiple times. Let's start by acknowledging one external factor that does affect the popularity of programming languages—legacy software Cobol and hype Ada, Java also play a role—but I think it might be worth trying to define a good programming language? A wise person is someone who usually knows the right thing to do, you don't usually have to invent anything. That sounds hipper than Lisp.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Hugues Steinier, Robert Morris, Stan Reiss, Mike Arrington, the rest of the Python crew at PyCon, Steven Levy, and Trevor Blackwell for inviting me to speak.

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ask-ozmano-blog · 7 years

Photo

Amarco

Jett Christian Cook

⌜⌜(ᴰᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ʷᵒʳʳʸ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᵗᵘʳᵉ; ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵗᵒᵐᵒʳʳᵒʷ ⁱⁿ ᴬᵘˢᵗʳᵃˡⁱᵃ)⌟⌟

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★ The incarnation of the commonwealth of Australia ★

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⌜⌜(ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴢ'ʀᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ.)⌟⌟

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⚠️ Тypιcally armed with several hunting knives and his machete; also often carries around a boomerang with blades slipped into the sides ⚠️

Nιcĸnaмeѕ

回 Straya 回 Aussie 回 Jazza 回 Idiot

Gender - Male

Ѕeхυalιтy - Pansexual

Pнyѕιcal Age - 27

Вloodтype - O positive

Aѕтrologιcal Ѕιgn - Aquarius

Cнιneѕe Zodιac - Tiger

Weιgнт

(279 lbs)回(121.109 kg)

Нeιgнт

(6’11”)回(182.88 cm)

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(No., oғ Peтѕ) Too many (Description of pets) Uluru - 5’3” Dingo with blue eyes; immortal companion Joe - Koala General - Wedge tailed eagle Gary - Komodo dragon Gremlin - Brushtailed possum Murray - Cockatoo Grim - Inland taipan Sweetie - Budgie

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Eyeѕ

{ Lazy and usually hooded; Strikingly chartreuse in hue and most often alight with mischief. His eyes are typically very expressive but he can guard his gaze, too }

Eyeвrowѕ

{ Well shaped but thick and dark; he doesn’t tend to them much but sometimes straightens them out if they get unruly. }

Ғace

{ Oblong square with defined cheekbones, jaw, and chin; He is very handsome so long as you don’t mind darker skin, freckles, and dozens of scars –the most notable being on his nose. }

Нaιr

{ Dark chocolate and wavy; Jett typically keeps it slicked back with hair gel. Because of its layered texture, this makes it look spiked. When his hair isn’t slicked back, he has a typical surfer boy cut.}

Нandѕ

{ Large, calloused, and always very warm. }

Вυιld

{ Incredibly muscular from hard work as a convict, farmer, and soldier.}

Poѕтυre

{ Slouched, which makes him look shorter than he is. When he’s excited or angry, though, he straightens up and tends to loom }

Gaιт

{ Confident and cocky, sure footed and absolutely daring anyone to start something}

Нealтн Ιѕѕυeѕ

回(Insomnia, mild lactose intolerance)

回(Energy drink addiction, alcohol and marijuana reliance)

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Aттιre

{ Typically seen in very casual clothes with a touch of country boy aesthetic; jeans, steel cap boots, thick belt with a decorative buckle, very fitted tee, and a slouch hat or ranger’s bush hat }

Proмιnenт Ѕcarѕ Ғroм

{ Colonisation, bombing of Darwin, Various natural disasters like bushfires and Cyclones, Gallipoli }

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⌜⌜(ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɢʀᴀɪɴ ᴏғ sᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ sᴛɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ.)⌟⌟

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Voιce

( Deep, rough, and gravelly with a worn quality when agitated; otherwise, it’s rather pleasant –retaining the rough undertone just slightly but it’s higher and not as threatening as when he is upset. )

Accenт

( Thick bushman’s accent )

Voιceclaιм

(When angry -Steve Blum as Wolverine) (Typically, though - Guy Sebastian )

Ѕιngιng Voιceclaιм

(Guy Sebastian)

Japaneѕe Dιalecт

( Shikoku dialect )

Ѕneezeѕ

(He just can’t help it –he sounds like a kitten when he sneezes)

Coυgнѕ

(Raspy and ragged)

Нιccυpѕ

(High pitched squeak)

Ѕleepѕ

(Jett suffers insomnia and tends to toss and turn except for when he has a warm body next to his –be it an animal, human, or fellow nation, the warmth keeps him still )

Ѕnoreѕ

(He doesn’t snore, but if he did or if he was sick enough to, they’d be low and airy)

Nervoυѕ Нaвιтѕ

(Extreme fidgeting, stammering, chewing his lip or messing with his hair excessively )

Good Нaвιтѕ

Exercise daily Cleans Good hygiene Cooks a new meal or invents a new recipe Listens to his favourite song, sings and dances along Spends time outdoors in his garden

Вad Нaвιтѕ

Drinks too many energy drinks Takes on problems that aren’t his and then stresses over them Dwells on the past Drinks too much alcohol

Ѕтrange Нaвιтѕ

Excessively pops and cracks his joints Play with his scars Mutters to himself, can be reciting lines from something or flat out talking to himself

Recυrrιng Pнraѕeѕ, Verbal tics, common short phrases

⌜⌜(нey?)⌟⌟

⌜⌜(jєѕuѕ wєpt)⌟⌟

⌜⌜(σí)⌟⌟

Anιмe Arcнeтype

(Haraguro, Nisetoshi, deredere)

回回回回回回回回回

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├┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┤

★ Perѕonalιтy ★

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⌜⌜(ιғ yoυ dιdn'т wanт мe тo pιcĸ yoυ υp, yoυ ѕнoυldn'т нave вeen ѕo ѕнorт ιn тнe ғιrѕт place.)⌟⌟

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Ѕυммary

There are two sides to Jett, each rooted in a primary emotion or set of emotions.

Empathy and compassion: The fire, the rock. [ see Bing Crosby - The Littlest Angel ] He is a fire in that his passion is a blazing, burning thing; a rock in his stability and ability to support others. This is Jett’s true nature but he struggles with it, especially given his ‘other side’. From the era of the dreaming onwards to colonisation, some 53,000 years, these traits ruled his personality and demeanour. Jett naturally adopts a father-like persona around children, becoming playful but nurturing and most certainly protective. This Jett is very generous and caring, very empathetic and always willing to be a shoulder to cry on. He has seen the suffering of men and strives to dull any pain. He is aware that others might pick up on bad vibes resonating from him, too, so he keeps a smile on his face and laughter in his voice to ease the tension around him. Able to respect the value of sentiment, Jett is not greedy at all; so long as there is love in his life, he is happy. He doesn’t care for material items, money –he cares about family and the wealth that comes with love. This alignment of his values makes him generous, willing to give be it money or little bits of wisdom. Jett puts soul into all he does and strives to spread happiness or contentment.

Apathy, spite, resentment: The wall. [ See Pink Floyd’s album THE WALL ] This side of him is referred to as the wall because it is what guards and protects his true nature. The wall began construction the very moment that the English first claimed Australia as it’s own; a personality that is 247 years, as of 2017, in the works. Every day, it grows higher and higher, increasingly impenetrable but to a few. Jett is guarded and prickly, no longer striving for the happiness of men but somehow retaining his generous nature in a more materialistic sense. He no longer trusts as easily and has little faith in those with ambitions that could potentially become dangerous or harmful. He approaches everything with a grandiose gesture of snark. England has ruined his ability to trust and open up to others, has forced him to betray the values that made him who he was for 53,000 years. He often questions himself, picks himself apart bit by bit because of the horrors that he endured at the hands of the English –from genocide and torture and slavery to more personal affairs, such as brainwashing, rape, and more. Jett hates himself for the things he had done under Arthur’s and Oliver’s command; he is filled with regret and spite that makes him edgy and hard to approach in the same way he once was. Now harbouring suspicion for the motives behind the most meaningless gestures, Jett has become paranoid and distances himself. His interactions are not heartfelt when influenced by his wall, becoming shallow and transparent.

Jett can flip-flop in the blink of an eye; be it from a bad thought surfacing, something triggering him, or from a sudden drop in energy. Only few people are able to witness him in his normal state. It is very hard for Jett to open up, he has many conflicting emotions and although the experiences that planted the wall’s values within him are not as long stretched as the ones that nurtured his true personality, they were so potent with malice that they could have lasted several dozen lifetimes over.

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⌜⌜𝓖𝓞𝓓 𝓑𝓛𝓔𝓢𝓢 𝓐𝓤𝓢𝓣𝓡𝓐𝓛𝓘𝓐⌟⌟

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Preғerenceѕ

Trivial likes ▷Cats ▷ Mango, peach, plum, apricot, pomegranete ▷ Steak, seafood, and cooking ▷ Outdoorsy activities ▷ Wrestling, rough-housing ▷ Scaring tourists, being snarky with family

Trivial dislikes ▷ Flies, Mosquitos ▷ Extremists ▷ Immigrants / citizens that are ungrateful for the country they reside in ▷ being cold ▷ dole bludgers

Ғavorιтe

Place to be: Arms of his lover, the beach, somewhere in the outback where nature has overrun civilization

Food: Kangaroo tail, Wombat stew*, Vegemite *Joke food

Nation: Australia [ and country of his lover in any au ]

Way to relax: At home, naked, with the fan/AC on, and a six-pack of beers by his side –cricket or footy on telly, or a good documentary. Also likes stargazing.

Animal: Kangaroo, Wedge-tailed eagle

Color: Green

Time Period: Dreamtime

Тalenтѕ

Hunting/fishing Carpentry Welding Building Dot painting Story telling Cooking

Нoввιeѕ

Anything that makes his talents more pronounced Hiking Mining [ by hand ] Making jewelry Painting Singing [ especially traditional Aboriginal songs ] Boating swimming

Oυт oғ 10'ѕ

Warmth 8/10

Approachability 3-9/10

Humor 10/10

Luck 10/10 [ Australia is the lucky country ]

Trust 0/10

Morality 10/10

Sex drive 11/10

Sociability 3-10/10

Chattiness 5-10/10

Profanity 10 /10

Intelligence 8/10

Wisdom 10/10

Wit 9/10

Sarcasm 10/10

Stubbornness 5/10

Laziness 7/10

Alcoholism 10 /10

Self-Discipline 2/10

Sheer strength 10/10

Stamina 9/10

Agility 6/10

Reflexes 8/10

Offensive 8/10

Defensive 10/10

Flexibility 6.8/10 [ too muscular ]

Belligerence 3-10/10

Peace advocacy 9/10

Diplomatic missions 8/10

Cooperation 10/10

Militarism 7/10

Transparency 1/10

Humanitarianism 10/10

Influence 7/10

Sanctions 8/10

Human rights 7/10

Religious freedom 10/10

Homogeneity 5/10

Power 7-9/10

Violations 5/10

UN-Conforming 5/10

⌜⌜(ᵀᴴᴱ ᵁᴺ? ᴸᴵᴷᴱ ᵁᴺᴵᵀᴱᴰ ᴺᴵᴺᶜᴼᴹᴾᴼᴼᴾˢ, ᴿᴵᴳᴴᵀ?)⌟⌟

├┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┤

★ Relaтιonѕ ★

├┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┤

★ Arthur

Jett blames Arthur, rightfully, for his inner torment and resents him for what he has done and his apparent favouritism with other former colonies. However, his brainwashing induced severe stockholm syndrome so he still admires Arthur and strives to not only get his attention and keep it, but to make him proud as well.

⌜⌜(тнαт ғeller ĸeepѕ нιѕ eɢo ѕтored ιɴ нιѕ вrowѕ. wнy elѕe woυld тнey вe ѕo вιɢ?)⌟⌟

★ Alfred

During colonisation, Jett had been brainwashed to believe that Arthur’s wrathful ways were a direct result of Alfred. He spent a long time, up until deployment on the Western front in WWI, hating Alfred. They talked things out though and soon became incredibly close. Now they share banter and a notably close alliance but sometimes Jett’s old sentiments get the better of him, as does jealousy, and he will become temporarily distant.

⌜⌜(dαɴdy ιѕ αɴ αlrιɢнт ғeller, ѕo loɴɢ αѕ yoυ ɢoт α ɢαɢ oɴ нαɴd.)⌟⌟

★ Toby

Jett has always felt like a big brother to the New Zealander, ever since the moment he first met him. They squabble a lot, as siblings tend to do, but deep down they care for each other a lot. Jett is the more affectionate of the two and although Toby acts like he doesn’t appreciate the affection, Jett knows different. Jett is very proud of Toby for his achievements and, deep down, thinks Toby is much better than him and admires him for it.

⌜⌜(ѕнorт ѕтαcĸ тнιɴĸѕ нe'ѕ вeттer тнαɴ мe! вυт ι ĸɴow нe ιѕ.)⌟⌟

★ Mattie

Their climates are so very different but when it comes down to it, these two have a lot in common and Jett thoroughly enjoys Mattie’s company. Mattie has used his charm to get the better of Jett on a few occasions but never in a situation that could actually be harmful. They’re very close and while Jett will be rambunctious with Alfred, he can be himself around Mattie.

⌜⌜(тнαт ĸιd вleedѕ мαple ѕyrυp αɴd cυмѕ cнeeѕe.)⌟⌟

★ Francis

The frenchman’s charm is something that soothes Jett and helps lower his walls a bit; he can be a bit more leisurely around the nation of romance and can enjoy some laid back chatter with him. He’s fond of the cuisine, and finds the french interest in Australian cultural symbols, like the didgeridoo, flattering. France was two days late to claim Australia, and Jett often jokes about it although there’s a tiny bit of sadness behind it since he believes that if France had colonised his country, he wouldn’t have gone through the level of darkness he did. Jett is close to Francis and thoroughly enjoys his company.

⌜⌜(тнαт ɢυy ѕмellѕ lιĸe wιɴe 24/7. woɴder ιғ нe'ѕ ɢoт αɴy тo ѕpαre ғor αɴ αlco lιĸe мe.)⌟⌟

★ Yao

Economically, their relationship is very close but on a personal level, Jett is honestly rather neutral with his relations to and opinion on Yao. They don’t interact often in an informal setting and Jett is put off by the incredibly high Chinese investment in his country.

⌜⌜(нe ιɴveѕтѕ ιɴ мe тoo мυcн. wнαт doeѕ нe wαɴт? мy cαpιтαlιѕм or мy cocĸ?)⌟⌟

★ Ivan

Australia was the first country to recognise Russia in place of the Soviet Union after it crumbled; however, this doesn’t mean Jett is particularly fond of Ivan. If anything, he is rather put off by his forever grinning face and constantly chirpy disposition. That soft voice reminds him all too much of Oliver, a major tormentor in his younger years. He doesn’t know exactly how to feel. Russia hasn’t done him any wrong but at the same time, hasn’t done him any good and has tormented many of his close friends, namely Gilbert and Alfred.

⌜⌜(нe αѕĸed мe тo вecoмe oɴe wιтн нιм oɴce αɴd wнeɴ ι ѕαιd yeѕ, нe drαɢɢed мe oғғ тo ɢo мedιтαтe. ғυcĸιɴɢ ιce нιppιe.)⌟⌟

★ Ludwig

Unlike the rest of the allies, Australia had a very low amount of bigotry towards the Germans after WWII. Jett felt a tiny spark of sympathy for Ludwig, whose punishments were much worse than the rest of the axis. Still, he has enjoyed watching from afar as Ludwig has become a bit more compassionate and has engaged more with his fellow nations. It seems unlikely, but the two share a very good friendship and are able to bond over common interests in mechanics and an affinity for drinking. Jett has attacked Ludwig with little prodding done on the German’s part, and later insulted his abilities and basked in the respect he was met with from the German after having the scuffle. He also helped him out with some Aussie style hand to hand, and from the fight their friendship bloomed.

⌜⌜(ι’d вeαт нιѕ αѕѕ вυт нe cαмe тнe lαѕт тιмe ι тнrew α pυɴcн αт нιм, тнe ғυcĸιɴɢ мαѕocнιѕт)⌟⌟

★ Gilbert

Prussia is a nation Jett has long admired. His admiration was sparked long ago when Adelaide was settled. Unlike other European nations, Prussia did not send convicts to Australia but sent only nobles instead. Jett took that as a compliment. His admiration further grew when he was taken in by a noble family, taught how to sword fight, taught how to speak German, and was given all the affections that England deliberately neglected him of. When Gilbert fled to his country in the early 90’s, Jett welcomed him with open arms and allowed him to stay as long as he needed to. They became close over the time that Gilbert spent there and Jett considers him an incredibly close friend.

⌜⌜(ɴeхт тιмe нe αѕĸѕ мe wнαт α ѕɴαĸe ιѕ, ι'м ɢoɴɴα ѕнove oɴe dowɴ нιѕ тнroαт.)⌟⌟

★ Feliciano [ Incubus; not Nation ]

This fiery little devil is someone that manages to stir up both of Jett’s ‘personalities’ just by walking into the same room. Jett is aware that Feliciano knows he’s putting up some act, as the incubus has outright stated it; this knowledge makes Jett want to strangle him and coddle him at the same time. They’ve fought, something Jett doesn’t take seriously because of Feliciano’s pedantic, finicky nature. All in all, he likes the little devil but is frustrated by him on occasion. However, he also appreciates his honesty and has a few key things in common with him as well as mutual interests.

⌜⌜(oɴe тιмe, нe ѕтαrтed тαlĸιɴɢ ѕo ι wαlĸed oυт тнe rooм. cαмe вαcĸ тwo yeαrѕ lαтer αɴd нe нαdɴ'т мoved αɴ ιɴcн…or ѕнυт υp.)⌟⌟

★ Lovino [ Mainverse pairing \ Mun’s OTP ]

The apple of his eye and the light of his life; Jett cherishes Lovino with every fibre of his being and would do absolutely anything for him. Lovino is the only person, aside from Jett’s counterpart. That knows everything about Jett. He is the one person that Jett has allowed himself to get attached to, and he will do everything in his power to keep Lovino. This leads to possessive behaviour although he certainly isn’t controlling. He gets jealous easily, though, and will attack anyone eyeing up his lover, no questions asked. They bicker and squabble but never seriously. Lovino is helping Jett demolish his wall and Jett is attempting to do the same for Lovino, in turn. An unlikely but wholesome couple.

⌜⌜(нαve yoυ ѕeeɴ тнαт ɢυy'ѕ αѕѕ? wαιт, yoυ нαve…? αɴd wнo тнe ғυcĸ ɢαve yoυ perмιѕѕιoɴ тo looĸ αт ιт?!)⌟⌟

★ Antonio

Good old Antonio –that threatened Jett the moment he found out about his relationship with Lovino. Nevertheless, the two are surprisingly close and have plenty of common interests. They’re rather similar, actually, and get along easily now that Jett has proven himself to Antonio.

⌜⌜(нe'ѕ ѕo cнαттery αɴd clιɴɢy! ι ɢυeѕѕ yoυ coυld ѕαy нe'ѕ α …ѕpαιɴ ιɴ тнe αѕѕ.)⌟⌟

★ Kiku

The pair don’t talk a lot but Jett actually likes Kiku a fair bit, despite not really knowing him. He hasn’t made much of an effort to, either although there have been isolated instances of tenderness such as a sculpture given to Kiku by Jett that honoured the innocent lives lost thanks to nuclear bombings –something that both of them are victim to although the fact that England has dropped a bomb on Australia without warning is most often never spoken of and therefore a little known fact.

⌜⌜(oɴe oғ нιѕ dιѕтrιcтѕ ιѕ ɴιcĸɴαмed мιɴι-αυѕтrαlια. ι'м woɴderιɴɢ нow вιɢ нιѕ cloѕeт ѕнrιɴe dedιcαтed тo мe ιѕ.)⌟⌟

http://www.internationalaffairs.org.au/ http://www.indexmundi.com/australia/demographics_profile.html http://www.abs.gov.au/Population https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demography_of_Australia

Groυpιngѕ

[ Five eyes ] [ ANZAC ] [ Gravity-defying hair squad ] [ UN ]

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⌜⌜(ѕυcн ιѕ lιғe // c'eѕт lα vιe)⌟⌟

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

⌜⌜(тнere ιѕ ɴo doмeѕтιc нeαrт; тнe wιlderlove ιѕ нιddeɴ wιтнιɴ υѕ αɴd we recĸoɴ wιтн ιт, αɴd we wreѕтle wιтн ιт)⌟⌟

├┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┤

★ Eхтraѕ ★

├┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┤

Gaĸυen Clυвѕ

[ Swim club ] [ Cat lover’s club ]

Ғanтaѕιa

[ — ]

Нυмan!

[ Ex-Convict Soldier turned farmer turned underground brawler ]

Neĸoтalιa

[ Australian wild cat; brown with ebony stripes, green eyes, tattered ears and a scarred muzzle ]

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

Тнιngѕ Ѕaιd

⌜⌜(ι'м ѕo ɴυмв. qυιcĸ! ѕoмeoɴe ѕнove α cαcтυѕ υp мy αѕѕ ѕo ι cαɴ ғeel αɢαιɴ!)⌟⌟

★

⌜⌜(ι’d leт нιм вeɴd мe over αɴydαy. тoo вαd ι ғιlled мy αѕѕ υp wιтн ceмeɴт –нe’d reαlly нαve тo drιll мe тнeɴ. ɢeт ιт?)⌟⌟

★

⌜⌜(ι love cαтѕ, вυт ι'м ɢlαd ι αιɴ'т oɴe cαυѕe тнeɴ нow тнe ғυcĸ woυld ι ғeed тнeм αll?!)⌟⌟

★

⌜⌜(oɴe тιмe, мy мαтe тнroттled мe ғor ѕαyιɴɢ ѕтυpιd ѕнιт. ιт wαѕ preттy нoт.)⌟⌟

★

⌜⌜(yoυ тнιɴĸ yoυ’ve ɢoт proвleмѕ? тry ѕнυттιɴɢ yoυr ɢoв, ѕιт вαcĸ, αɴd wαтcн yoυr proвleмѕ dιѕαppeαr!!)⌟⌟

Тнeмeѕ

(character songs)

★ God Bless Australia ★ Waltzing Matilda ★ Raining on the Rock - John Williamson ★ And the band played waltzing matilda - Eric Bogle ★ Two little boys - Rolf Harris ★ Always Gold - Radical Face ★ Dear Fellow Traveler - Sea wolf ★ willow tree march - paper kites ★ The great escape - woodkid ★ Run boy run - woodkid ★ Dust and sand - sons of the East ★ Thistles and weeds - mumford and sons ★ Ain’t no grave - Johnny Cash ★ Shut eye - stealing sheep ★ I exist, I exist, I exist - flatsound ★ I am in great pain, please help me - Crywank ★ All through the night - Sleeping at last ★ In the embers - Sleeping at last ★ You are the moon - The hush sound ★ Where do the children play - Cat stevens ★ Father and Son - Cat stevens ★ A puzzlement - the king and I ★ Believer - Imagine dragons ★ Zombie - Miser ★ Magnet - Punch Brothers ★ Mind electric - Tally Hall ★ Here before - Vashti Bunyan ★ Thanks bastards - Mischief brew ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

❝This world is a dark and scary place. You got the balls to keep going once your light flickers out?❞

┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛

#aph australia #bunyip stuff #long post #biography

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Koehler insisted that participants in his training classes used “emphatic corrections”, including leash jerks and throw chains, explaining that tentative, nagging corrections were cruel in that they caused emotional disturbance to the dog.[19] Vicki Hearne, a disciple of Koehler’s, commented on the widespread criticism of his corrections, with the explanation that it was the emotionally loaded language used in the book that led to a number of court cases, and to the book being banned in Arizona for a time.[20] Despite the controversy, his basic method forms the core of many contemporary training systems.[21] Training should be fun for both you and your dog. Our programs are developed around “force free, positive reinforcement” training – which reinforces and enhances the learning thereby achieving the results of a well-mannered dog. Types Name khye : Bird Show all Which course is right for my dog? Anxiety Where we Serve As an approved obedience training organisation the Minister may approve an assessment program if the organisation assesses a dog in the following skills: We currently offer dog training classes at Carina State School on Creek Road, Carindale. We have access to multiple undercover areas, three ovals, media rooms for seminars and a fully fenced basketball court for the FREE Urban Play Groups. No un-vaccinated dogs are on the premises ensuring the safest environment possible. Aversive collars Collars that apply discomfort or pain during training, and they include: Smart Paws FAQ Register here Email: [email protected] Algebra Data Probability – FREE Air Pump Accessories Your puppy or dog! Ways to help curb any behavioral problems Jump up ^ Bouton, M. E. (2007). Learning and Behavior: A Contemporary Synthesis. Sunderland, MA: Sinauer. Vet Products Pet type(s): It’s never too late! If your puppy is 17 weeks or older, simply join our older puppy course. Brett has come to sort out two problems with our pooch and with a little practice in just a couple of weeks we have a different dog! Worth every cent! When will you be able to trust your puppy to wander loose throughout the home? © 2014 ECDT- All Rights Reserved. Dogs off leash areas(PDF,49KB) Cost: $150 Education Short Courses Add a listing Barking Choosing a pet Certificate III In Carpentry Canine Scent Detection Natasha Thiele Our Story The best start in life puppy training Horse Show all Aggressive about things or places Training What Do Group Classes Include? Agriculture YouTube Award Winning Trainers Our dedicated team is here to help Distance Learning Course (03) 9350 1281 Be the Pack Leader Once you’ve assumed your role as pack leader, all you will need is consistency and the natural techniques taught by Bark Busters to reinforce and strengthen the bond between you and your dog. Bark Busters dog trainers can show you how to transform a “problem dog” into a happy lifelong buddy… Postal Where and when: Saturdays at the Scout Hall on Pye Road in Balhannah Puppy relief today and a Choosing a compatible breed/dog Community Programs Kapunda & Districts Kennel & Obedience Dog Club Copyright 2012 Enrol Now Your Message PETstock provides a safe environment that will see you and your dog or puppy thrive together under the skilled guidance of our friendly, professional training team. Certificate III In Engineering – Boilermaking/Welding Steve and Vicki Austin have over 60 years experience in training dogs and handlers in many applications. They are in demand throughout Australia and overseas to provide detection services, training courses, provide innovation for new scent detection projects. Their training techniques are unique and have earned them a high reputation for teaching both people and dogs. Grooming First Aid Training Youth and Community Programs No need to book in – simply turn up 15 minutes prior to a scheduled class and sign in. Many thanks Allison and Barbara, Glen Miles End of life care Volunteering Broken Hill Shelter and Veterinary Hospital Adoptions To check availability of Urban Clicks & Tricks course in Carindale click here. To enrol in Urban Clicks & Tricks course… read more Dogs and Puppies Health Website Terms & Conditions 4.5 Model-rival training Behavioural Issues Enrol or Call Us Now on 07 3342 0568 Burch, Mary R.; and Jon S. Bailey (1999). How Dogs Learn, New York: Howell Book House ISBN 0-87605-371-1 Level 2 Basic Dog Manners Jump up ^ Lindsay 2000, p. 247–248 Worm Treatments To begin the right training for your pawed friend or to learn more about undertaking a canine training course, speak to an NDTF expert online or call 1300 66 44 66 Affordable Dog Training Near Me | Follow this Affordable Dog Training Near Me | Get More Info Here Affordable Dog Training Near Me | Get the Best Legal | Sitemap

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cecilspeaks · 7 years

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Ghost Stories

You can purchase Ghost Stories here.

Transcript of the bonus tracks here.

1. Intro

Meg Bashwiner: And now, listeners of every kind: the voice of Night Vale, Cecil Baldwin!

[applause]

Cecil: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Also many other things, several of which can be found in your home. Welcome to Night Vale!

Listeners, honest honored listeners, Cecil here as always your voice to carry you through the lonely hours. Today is a very special day indeed. Today, as we all know, is the annual Night Vale ghost story contest. In which every citizen is required to put forward their scariest, spookiest tale of spectors and haunts. The City Council chooses their favorite, and the winner is, through a process that is truly terrifying in its simplicity, turned into a ghost. The losers are forced to continue in forms that primarily depend upon the containment and transportation of oozes and glob.

Now I’m sure that you’ve all been preparing your own entry for the ghost story contest, since all of you will soon have to stand up and deliver it to the gathered people. But before all of you each individually have your turn, I thought that I might indulge myself for a moment and tell you my own entry to your ghost story contest. Are you all OK with that? [applause] I have no idea what you just said so, gonna nod and give myself a thumbs up and I think we’re all good here.

2. Horoscopes

But first, let’s have a look at today’s horoscopes. Leo? [silence] Leo? [audience whoops] Leo! Bet all your money on red! All those material possessions were only weighing you down. Soon you will be in many ways – free-er than the rest of us.

Virgo? You know that one spot on your back that itches and itches and itches and you just can’t stand it? Well, good thing: you won’t have to deal with that or anything else after tomorrow night.

Libra? Draw your loved ones closer to you. That first drawing you did was no good, no, draw them like closer to you. There’s too much white space on the page! How are your loved ones supposed to love you if you can’t even draw them right?

Scorpio? OK so, I think we all know by now that this is the sign of.. uuughhh.. Steve Carlsberg. Who is my sister Abby’s husband. Now, usually the horoscope just happens to turn out something quite mean for Scorpio. Purely through the unknowable combination of fate and random chance that is the meeting of the stars. But Abby said that the stars had better knock that off! Especially if they want to be invited to their niece Janice’s first ballet fight. So, let’s see how this goes. Scorpio. Things are looking bright. What a great day you have before you! Look how clear the sky, how green the grass how – dumb and oversized your feet look. [gleefully] No really, I hope you don’t trip or rip your pants not even once! How terrible it would be if that happened! But it probably won’t through, so there you go. [mutters] Scorpios…

Sagittarius? Ahahahahahahaha, aahahahahahahaha, aaahahahahahaha!

Capricon? Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood (--) [02:42] tide is loosed upon the world and everywhere! So your home carpentry project will not go well next week. There’s just too much blood.

Aquarius? OK, you are just two dogs in a trench coat, Aquarius. I mean I hate to break it to you, but you have no opposable thumbs, or language skills. And you’ve always been two dogs in a trench coat! [cooing] Yes you are, yes you arrre!! [kissing noises] Now go outside! Good dogs!

Pisces? If you don’t have anything nice to say, try saying something mean. I mean there are lots of options for things to say.

Aries? Ooh. OK, so this horoscope is just a picture of a bear. And next to the bear is the lizard and next to the lizard is the pelican. And there’s a combined speech bubble above them all that says “We regret the storm that took your lives.” And they’re smiling and (-) [0:03:57] some mugs of beer together. And they have their feet up on skulls. And if you look really closely you’ll notice that they’re not standing on a pile of sticks, but on a pile of human bones?! And unfortunately I believe that in this cartoon, Aries – you’re the pelican!

Taurus? No sunshine for you, Taurus! Nope! The sun’s light has been blocked, but only for you. Oh yes, everyone else will walk in sunny rays, sunshades and shorts, wide smiles and hat brims, SPF 50 and a Frisbee at the beach. You will likely lose feeling in your skin due to the cold of a [sinister voice] sunless world! [friendly voice] Good luck!

Gemini? They say an onion has many layers. Gemini, you are like that onion. Time has peeled away, one after another, each of your hard, pungent layers: snap, snap, snap! They (pry) off and urgent fingernails pry away the remnants as you grow smaller, wetter, less complex. Ooh, also like an onion, your odor makes as cry.

Cancer? Well this just says “chainsaw accident”. So I bet that’s a metaphor for something really goood!

3. A Word from our Sponsors

Cecil: And now a word from our sponsors. For that, we have a sentient patch of haze here in the studio with me, and her name is Deb! Deb?

Deb: Thank you Cecil. Today I am here on behalf American Airlines – your partner in the sky.

Cecil: Fantastic. What does American have to say to us today?

Deb: American Airlines is committed to.. [giggling] your safety! And comfort.. [giggling] and getting you into the air. It is our promise that we will get you up there. You will rise from the ground. For sure, that will happen. And you will soar above the clouds.

Cecil: Well that’s wonderful to hear, you know it’s reassuring to know that American Airlines will see us safely and comfortably through takeoff, flight, and landing!

Deb: [long beat] No Cecil. We didn’t say that. We don’t wanna promise we can’t say for sure we can deliver on. We will get you up there.

Cecil: And then what then?

Deb: Oh, what anywhen? Do we see the future?

Cecil: Oh?

Deb: No.

Cecil: No.

Deb: Life is chaotic, and it would be irresponsible to start making promises.

Cecil: Yes, but mostly you land those planes, rights?

Deb: I haven’t checked lately. But if it helps you to say that out loud, then certainly you should do that, yeah, mm hm.

Cecil: Why do I always end up so worried after talking to you, Deb?

Deb: American Airlines. What goes up, must come down. We guarantee it.

Cecil: Alright, well thank you Deb.

Deb: So you’re all telling ghost stories, huh?

Cecil: Oh yes, yes we are.

Deb: Good. I have a wonderful story of a haunting to tell. It’s very popular among us, sentient patches of haze.

Cecil: Oh please, tell it.

Deb: Once upon a time, a nice family of sentient patches of haze moved into an ooold house. They were young and optimistic and ready to start a home, but soon they realized something was teeeerribly wrong. They heard noises in the night. Voices, folky yet slickly produced singer-songwriter music. At first they assumed it was just their imagination, but soon they saw shapes in the halls and bedrooms. They noticed movement in the corner of the parts of their haze that they used to see with. One day, one of the sentient patches turned the corner and there – [disgusted] was a human standing there! As clear as a day, as opaque as flesh. Well, that poor little patch screamed and floated away. But now they knew, [creepily] there were humans haunting their house.

Cecil: Now wait. Humans often live in houses, I mean did the humans own the house?

Deb: Oh Cecil, there you go again. Serving as a propaganda mouthpiece for the capitalist machine that says sentient patches of haze aren’t allowed to move into and take over any house that a human “owns”!

Cecil: Wait, a mouthpiece for the capitalist machine? Deb, your job is literally to be a spokeshaze for multinational corporations!

Deb: Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! How dare you! My contradictions are my own to grapple with. I’m leaving. Thank you for giving me time on the air, I appreciate it.

Cecil: Well it was an ad, and I’m assuming you get paid for those?

Deb: Sure if that assumption is helpful to you, goodbye Cecil.

Cecil: Alright, thank you Deb!

4. Ghost story #1

And now, listeners, a ghost story. MY ghost story.

It begins ten years ago, on a night just like – tonight. Heavy fog covered the town of Night Vale, turning the world into a blurry approximation, familiar landmarks into educated guesses. No stars, and the full moon diffused by the mist into a soft, feeble light from all around.

A man was driving down a dark road, there were no other cars around. And on the side of the road, up ahead, he saw a figure. A figure made strange by the half-hearted moon, a brief pause in a long fog. Now the figure had its hand up. It did not (thumb) (-), but instead gave a languid wave, more of a summons than a request. And the man shivered, for he knew that it was on this very stretch of road one year to the day before that day that was ten years ago on a night just like tonight. The oooold mill, finally burned down. And when it went, there was a woman inside of it. Now, it’s hard to fathom why she was there in that abandoned disused mill, but she was. And the unthinkable happened, without anyone having to think of it at all. And since then, it has been said that in the darkest hours of the darkest nights, a young woman flags down cars on the side of the road where the old mill used to be. And if they’re foolish enough to let her into the car, she stares directly at the driver. And if the driver is foolish enough to look her in the eyes even once – she takes them to her home. A dark, eternal place from which no one, ever, returns.

Still, he couldn’t leave behind what could be a person in need of aid just because of some spooky old story. So he pulled over, and the figure reached out her hand and opened the passenger door and – there was a cold breath, air from dead lungs that the mist curled into the car, and the figure sat.

And the driver was careful to look not too closely or for too long. “Um, uh, where are you headed?” the man said, but the figure was silent. So he began to drive once again. And the fog billowed as he drove, and he could swear that he could see that old mill as it had once stood, leaning and ramshackle. Now, that mill had not been in working order in decades, it was probably just its time to go when it burned, but still. He mourned the loss of what had been a part of his own. “Where to?” he said again without turning or looking at his passenger. And the figure spoke. The figure spoke with a voice that sounded like a body hitting freezing water, like the distant thud in an old house in the smallest hours of the night. [creepy voice] “You know wheeeree,” the figure said. “You know where I want to goooo.” And he did know. “I want to go – hoooooome.”

And he held the wheel tighter, and he pressed the gas harder, and he stared unblinkingly at the door because he knew that the figure’s face was only inches away now, and staring directly at him.

Oh, listen to me yammer on! Haha. You know, I should really get to some of the other business of community radio, or Station Management will [chuckling] just kill me. [long beat] At least I hope that’s all they’ll do to me.

The rest of this ghost story soon.

5. Tamika Flynn

Cecil: But now I have a really special guest in the studio today, who has their own ghost story to tell. She is one of our community’s most active young people, having formed a militia to keep our town safe from corporations and librarians, oh – and she is also an avid reader. So please welcome to the show – Tamika Flynn! Hi Tamika!

Tamika: Hi Cecil. [chuckles]

Cecil: You said you have a ghost story that you wanna share?

Tamika: Yes. I love books so much, and one of my favorite kinds of books is the ghost book.

Cecil: The ghost book? You mean horror novel, yes?

Tamika: You say potato, I say pohtata.

Cecil: You do?

Tamika: Yeah!

Cecil: Pohtata?

Tamika: Pohtata chips, pohtata salad. Pohtata poutine.. [chuckles]

Cecil: But that’s kind of a weird way to say potato.

Tamika: Well I learned English from reading it Cecil, not from listening to it! [chuckles, snorts repeatedly] Anyways. I love ghost stories because they’re so rich with symbolism and meaning. A lot of people think that ghost stories are just a one-note tale about a ghost haunting an old house, but if you look deeper under the surface, ghost stories are really about dead people who are now invisible or translucent beings who interact with the living in antiques homes, so..

Cecil: Very important difference.

Tamika: Would you like to hear my favorite ghost story, Cecil?

Cecil: Oh yes, please!

Tamika: Many years ago, in this very town.. [whispers] there was a librarian! Ooh! And the librarian would creep around the public library, hunting and slaughtering book lovers for sport! Innocent people would go to the library hoping to find a good book, something new and interesting. Maybe a classic of modern science fiction by Octavia Butler, or some surrealist literature by Amy Bender or, oh, maybe some pedantic buzzkill space essays by Neil deGrasse Tyson. [chuckles]

Cecil: Now, wait a minute! To be fair to Neil deGrasse Tyson, his Victorian era romances are really goo-oo-ood!

Tamika: [long beat] Anyways. One day, there was a young girl, a really smart girl. [chuckles] She was also really fit, like REALLY fit! [chuckles] But also smart like the smartest girl you can know. Ahem. And also really tough. Anyways, she went to the library to get a book, and just as she was perusing a collection of plays by the 17th century poet and spy Aphra Behn, she could smell something terrible, like an infection, like wet fur. It was humid suddenly, and she felt something watching her, slithering about just over her shoulder.

But this girl, she was fast too. She jumped to the side quickly just as a spiked tentacle came crashing down next to her, crushing the shelf containing play scripts by Pulitzer winner Annie Baker. Without thinking, the girl – she was also intuitive, like [whispers] soo intuitive! [chuckles] – she grabbed the tentacle before it could retract into the librarian’s protective shell. She then grabbed a copy of the “Complete Works of William Shakespeare” by Francis Bacon. It was the special edition that had the machete taped right there on the book jacket! [chuckles] She tore off the large knife and swung, striking the tentacle at its base. She swung again, landing an accurate blow between the soft small crevice and the hard skin. This girl was amaaaaziiiiing! The librarian shrieked, then with a double back flip – which was pretty easy for this girl… she narrowly avoided the splattering acid blood of the flailing creature and dealt a mortal blow right to its disgusting neck! She didn’t even need a blade to finish off the monster, she just used her fist! Splat! Pffffff! [breathes heavily] True story of the badass book loving girl there ever was! [chuckles]

Cecil: So this is a story about you, right? And how you defeated the librarian during the Summer Reading Program a few years back?

Tamika: Oh no. That story was about my best friend Jessica Littleton. She’s so smart and talented, [high-pitched] I just love her, she’s the best!

Cecil: OK Tamika, while I hate to nitpick, that was a really great story but that was like, [hoarsely] monster story, not like a ghoooo-oooost story.

Tamika: Well. Jessica jacked up that monster and now it’s a ghost, boom, ghost story! Well I gotta go do my math homework, and then we have the teen militia meeting this evening at the new skating rink, so bye Cecil! [chuckles]

Cecil: Bye, thank you Tamika!

6. Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner

It’s time for another edition of the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner!

Did you know that time travel exists? OK well not yet, but we have learned from time travelers that it will be invented in just under 30 years. Now given that knowledge, I thought it’d be kind of fun to do a little experiment together, so. If you are legally allowed to own a smartphone, take that out now and open up that calendar application. No go ahead, don’t be shy!

Now what I want you to do is create a recurring event that starts on this exact day and time, and title that event, well, “travel back in time”. Ooh, and be sure to note your exact location, OK? Now, when you’ve done that, set that event to recur every year on this anniversary. That way, when your future self does eventually have access to a time machine, they’ll know to come back to this. very. Moment. And then once you’ve done all of that, hit “save” and your future self should appear immediately right in front of you!

OK, so do you see your future self? Alright, well you may have to look around just like a little tiny bit. Hold on, hold on. Do none of you see your future selves? Uh oooh…

[long silence]

Well, this has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner!

7. Teddy Williams

Cecil: Now, a look at the Community Calendar. So let’s start off with an event that is happening today. To get in on the annual ghost story contest, Teddy Williams, owner of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, announced that he will be offering 20 per cent off admission and double game tokens for anyone who dresses up like a deceased ancestor, historical figure, or departed pet.

We have Teddy in the studio with us now to talk about some of the themed activity going on at the fun complex. Teddy?

Teddy Williams: Hello, Cecil.

Cecil: Hello.

TW: We are really getting into this ghost stories festival over at the Desert Flower today and we wanted to celebrate the spirit of the event [chuckles], no pun intended.

Cecil: No pun understood.

TW: OK well we’re getting into the ghost story.. mood. Over in the bowling lanes, we’ll be turning off all of the lights, and as customers try to navigate and stumble around in the dark, our staff will sneak up behind them and shout classic ghost things like “BOOO!” and [hoarsely] “Hello again son, I miss you, it’s so cold here”.

Cecil: Well that sounds like great fun that people will remember not unpleasantly for the rest of their lives.

TW: We hired some pretty expensive lawyers to make sure of that.

Cecil: Now Teddy, you seem to really love this day. Do you have a ghost story you wanna share?

TW: Well, OK sure. As you know we built the new skating rink on top of the old pet cemetery. And there’s this gost cat, a Persian cat. Super cute like you just wanna grab his little flat face and go [high-pitched squeaking] with your own face against his..

Cecil: Awww.

TW:..but you can’t. Because he’s a ghost and so your face just goes through, it’s just.. it’s like rrow, rrow. Anyway, turns out this cat belonged to former town billionaire Marcus Vanston. Marcus of course disappeared one day and no one knows for certain what happened to him..

Cecil: Oh, I-

TW: Or we do know, but none of us are legally allowed to say.

Cecil: Of course, because we can’t legally acknowledge the existence of..

TW: None of us are legally allowed to say Cecil, it could have been anything.

Cecil: Yeah of course. [whispers] Angel.

TW: So this ghost cat belonged to Marcus, and Marcus was so rich that he had taught the cat French.

Cecil: Ooh.

TW: Yeah. Now I myself don’t speak French, but I do have a Russian dictionary, and I feel like both languages are so dissimilar form English that they must be similar to each other.

Cecil: That’s an excellent point.

TW: Right? Anyway, the cat told me that his name is Peanut, and that he died of sorrow when his master, whom he loved so much, passed from this earth and left him alone in their vast palazzo. That as a cat, he cannot cry, so he simply shivered with sadness by himself under the basement stairs every night, until his body wasted away into such a thin whisp that the wings of death could easily and sweetly carry him off to be with his owner once again. But he has yet to reunite with Marcus and so now he has only lonely immortality and no conceivable escape.

Cecil: That’s heartbreaking!

TW: Yeah. So then I told him, [excitedly] “My name is Teddy, and I love video games!”

Cecil: Oh.

TW: [laughing] I tried to feed him one of those little fish treats. It just fell right through his… He’s forever hungry and he can never eat! Ooo, anyway. So I’ve been trying to learn Russian better so that we can speak in French.

Cecil: Sure, yeah.

TW: And he’s been coming around more often saying something that, okay sounds a little bit like “Je suis triste”, “Je suis mort”. Which I figured out means, “Hey Teddy, it’s great to see you!”

Cecil: Umm, now it’s been a moment since my French brainwashing in high school, but I’m pretty sure that “Je suis mort” means..

TW: “Great to see you” yeah, I know Cecil. Alright well, I gotta get back to the complex and I hope to see everyone out there. Now don’t forget that it’s happy hour from four to six at our bar. If you can be happy for those two straight hours, you get three-dollar draft beers and well drinks. So far, no one has been able to do it. Well, je suis mort, Cecil! Ha ha!

Cecil: Aha, thank you Teddy! [whimpering] Oh, Peanut!

8. Steve Carlsberg